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Issue 4

thislife

BOY BOK PAT

my shattering moment

FREE

in search of meaning

LAMBIE:

Help,

I’m addicted to my cellphone!

Dr Johnny Marr:

I’m not scared of dying winter warmer

greek pastitio

How my life turned around: ex-shoplifter Joybelle

Is being good what really matters in life?

WIN!

Winelands tour

(find that veritas in your vino without having to drive)

Teens

under pressure

for anyone who ever wondered where God fits in


contents

25

ON THE COVER 04 05 06 11 12 15 20

foodielife Greek pastitio to warm your winter sportymoment Boy Bok Pat Lambie teenlife Teens under pressure: how we cope agony Help, I’m addicted to my cellphone! mylife Dr Johnny Marr: I’m not scared of dying mylife Ex-shoplifter Joybelle on her new life stickyissues Is being good really what matters?

AND THE REST 07 08 09 10 18 21 22 25 26 27

paparazzi Did we snap YOU? coolstories School principal Eleanor Lawrence coolstories Craftswhizz Judy Lambrecht younglife Joshua’s photolog plus WIN chocs and sweets! photomoment Cheeky pics and photo competition artymoment Mother’s blog seniormoment Handing wisdom down the generations hotread ‘Books that have inspired me’ plus WIN new books betterlife How to give effectively infomoment Where we are, plus courses for YOU: divorce recovery, parenting, Alpha, marriage… 28 shoppinglife Top 10 gifts

5 26

A special thank you to Max Bosanquet and Martin Yodaiken of Cape Photography (www.capephotography.co.za) who lent us their studio

COMPETITIONS: up for grabs in this issue • • • • •

Lunch for four p 24 Winelands/Cape tour for up to six people p 17 Callanetics classes p 5 Life coaching sessions p 20 Beauty treatments p 9

• • • • •

Twister scarf p 6 Francine Rivers novel p 25 Plate handpainted by artist Janie Siebert p 4 Lots and lots of SWEETS p 10 Your photo published plus print to keep p 19

winners from our last issue

Beryl Nicholas

Glenda Sloster

Arnold Williams

Pretty Taruvinga

Martin van der Merwe

Glenda Sloster

CONTACT US/COMPETITIONS Want to enter a competition, give input or send a comment or question to anyone who wrote in this magazine? • Email Katy at thislifemag@gmail.com (If you send pics by email, please shrink them first, all emails 2MB and under, please) • Sms Katy on 072 802 7022 • Fax Katy on 021 658 4140 • Physically deliver anything (mark it ‘Katy @ thislife’) to the St John’s Parish office. It’s the brick hall off the large car park at St John’s Church, St John’s Road, Wynberg (above Springfield Convent), tel 021 761 9020 ALL COMPETITIONS IN THIS MAGAZINE END 31 AUGUST 2011 (except winelands tour competition, ending 21 August 2011). Editor’s decision is final! 02

thislife | issue 4


Hello... W

One lump or two? Teabreak for the thislife team

and

welcome

to thislife magazine!

hat are we about? Life. The joys. The challenges. Anyone who lives life to the

full, enjoys friendships and likes debates on that ancient chestnut, the meaning of life. People who inspire us. Sticky issues. Sticky food. Shopping.

This, without a doubt, has been the hardest thislife to produce. It includes an interview with a very close personal friend, Dr Johnny Marr, who was diagnosed with cancer in March this year and died nine short, intense weeks later. The incredible thing about Johnny is that right till the end of his life he had an unwavering sense of where he was going. A man who loved life (he once kidnapped a sheep and let it loose in a friend’s hotel bedroom), he knew he was dying. As a top Cape Town surgeon who regularly dealt with the very cancer he developed, he was painfully aware of what was going on in his body. But despite his agony at leaving his family behind, he was peaceful in death, sure it was only the beginning. Read his story on p 12. Which brings us to the God bit on the cover. We all like to pigeonhole faith for reference purposes, so let thislife ‘fess it upfront: we hail from the Anglican Parish of St John’s, Wynberg, Cape Town (www.stjohns.org.za). BUT… we don’t necessarily expect you to! We understand that many people out there have

been put off by the church (after all, humans invented it so it’s got to be deeply flawed in places). We just thought you might like a glimpse into the lives of some people who feel God is

important to them and gives them hope.

Finally, make sure you enter our competitions! You certainly don’t need a faith to chance your hand at these! We have a record number of prizes on offer and because we’re local,

your chances of winning are HOT. Carpe Diem! Katy Macdonald Ed

PS

GoodLife, a sister magazine in the UK inspired by thislife, has just been launched. We’re going global. Woohoo!

PPS Thank you, thank you, thank you, sponsors and all those who help us in so many ways. We love you.

thislife | issue 4

03


foodielife

Greek Pastitio Ingredients (serves 6 to 8) • 1 large onion, peeled and chopped • 30ml sunflower or olive oil • 1 clove garlic, crushed • 750g lean beef mince • 60ml beef stock • 1 tin tomatoes • 125ml dry red wine • 1 cinnamon stick • 1 bayleaf • 15ml dried origanum • 500g macaroni, halved and cooked • 750g cheese sauce (made with 50g parmesan and 50g cheddar) • 45g grated parmesan • salt and fresh black pepper (optional)

Charlene and her Greek pastitio: ‘There are never any leftovers!’

Method

W W

Gently fry the onion in the oil. Stir in the garlic then add the mince, stirring till the meat changes colour. Add the stock, chopped tomatoes and red wine. Stir the mixture till it bubbles, then reduce the heat and simmer it very gently with the spices and herbs. Then season with salt and pepper, if desired. Leave to cook for 45 mins or till tender. Check seasoning To assemble, mix the cooked, drained macaroni with the meat sauce. Turn into a large, oiled ovenproof dish. Cover the mixture with the cheese sauce and sprinkle the 45g grated parmesan on top. Bake at 190˚ C for 45 min or until the surface is golden brown. After removing from the oven, let the dish stand for 5 to 10 minutes before cutting into squares

MEAT-FREE OPTION: Use 750g of cubed brinjals instead of mince.

Add more oil if necessary to saute the brinjals, and cook gently until tender

ho’s the cook?

Charlene September, Emmanuel Church, Wynberg

hat’s the inside story?

‘I got this winner recipe from a book my husband gave me the year we got married, 37 years ago! It’s economical and handy - often you already have all the ingredients. Best cooked with love, and served with a tomato or Greek salad. There are never any leftovers!’

WIN

H by andp (ww artist ainte Sim w.jan Janie d plat ply iesie Sie e 072 sms bert. bert PLA com Co m 80 31 petit 2 702 TE to ) Aug ion 2. ust end 201 s 1

CINNAMON LOWDOWN This pastitio dish contains cinnamon, a spice used since biblical times. Cinnamon is said to aid digestion and may also

help control blood sugar in people with diabetes (only to be tried out under medical/dietetic supervision). Some research shows the mere act of smelling cinnamon may wake up the brain! Try adding it to breakfast cereals such as muesli and porridge, or cooked veg, eg butternut, carrots, sweet potatoes

04

thislife | issue 4

Food Stylist: Tania Hass

!


One minute with...Boy

Bok

sportymoment

Pat Lambie

WIN!

picture courtesy of Sports Illustrated

picture courtesy of The Sharks

A month’s classes by CoCallanetics lleen @ The Gentle Thomas Mowbray (082 Gym, 78 Simply sms ‘G 0 3793). YM 072 802 7022 ’ to Competition en . 31 August 20 ds 11

Twenty-year-old Durbanite Pat Lambie is a bit of a prodigy. Not content with being

headboy of Michaelhouse and playing rugby for South Africa at schoolboy level, just one year out of school he was already playing for The Sharks in the Southern Hemisphere’s Super 15 tournament. Last year he was named Man of the Match in the Currie Cup final and

went on to make the Springbok squad for a tour of Ireland in November. But of course, Pat is more than the sum of his parts.

HERE, exclusively for thislife, he opens the door a chink on his life and faith Ultimate comfort food? Mom’s chicken

Why God? God, because I believe there is no

on pink every now and then

Why rugby? It’s my passion

Coolest thing about God? I think the

Cappuccino/rooibos? Rooibos

Why The Sharks? Born and bred in Natal,

Dogs/cats? Dogs Pink shirt/blue shirt? Blue, but I’d throw

Most irritating habit? A bit of a perfectionist

Best sporting moment? Part of a winning Currie Cup team and being announced as a Springbok, on the same night

Worst sporting moment? Shattering the bone in my left elbow in the first game in U16 and being ruled out for the year

pasta, it’s my ‘night before’ meal

grew up watching and supporting the Sharks, and my Dad and Grandpa both played for Natal

People who’ve inspired me are…

Henry Honiball and Andre Joubert who I watched when I was growing up. It’s mostly because of the way they played

Hardest thing you have to do, and how you cope?

Watch my brother have an epileptic fit. We pray and he takes medication

other way. At my school, Michaelhouse, I learnt what faith was all about

coolest thing about God is His understanding and how He is always there

Make me president and I’d… have to find me a few suits!

How connect to God? Music, reading, prayer. I go to church and bible study, too Best spiritual read? Rick Warren: ‘The Purpose Driven Life’

I really should stop… and smell the

roses

this page proudly sponsored by Redford Capital. Contact us at info@redfordcapital.co.za

thislife | issue 4

05


teenlife

Young people should never be seen as a burden on society, but as its MOST PRECIOUS ASSET Kofi Annan, former head of the UN

kelly writes...

Freelance writer Kelly Pluke lives in Kenwyn and is an editorial assistant with a media company. She dislikes peas.

O

kay, so I’m 22 years old which means not so long ago I was faced with the stresses of being a teenager! Even now, I still find myself feeling pressurised to act in ways I don’t agree with. We’ve all arrived at a party to find the only thirst quenchers are alcoholic ones. Everyone’s indulging and you would stand out like a baboon on Seal Island if you didn’t too. On top of that, all your friends are encouraging you to join in the ‘fun’. After many embarrassing no’s and even being called the boring girl, I decided I didn’t need to follow the cool crowd to have fun. The next party I attended, I arrived with my girlfriends and my own fun nonalcoholic beverages. Everyone wanted to know what I was drinking and how it tasted – obviously

delicious! I think I had the most fun. After that night, when people invited me to parties, they asked me to bring along some of those awesome drinks.

trendsetter There are so many different situations where you can feel left out because you don’t agree with them; like being promiscuous before marriage, for example. Both guys and girls can feel pressure from friends to indulge. There’s a great way to resist this type of pressure: just think about all the complications that come with having premarital sex - that should be enough to put you off! There are so many risks involved - the chance of getting infected with HIV/AIDS and STDs, falling/getting someone

pregnant… And so often there’s lie upon lie that you have to keep up with! By saying no to premarital sex, you can dodge all the snags that come with it. By being assertive and actively coming up with fun alternatives, I stirred up the confidence in my friends to turn down those foolish pressures. I now know how to deal with them. I make sure I’m certain what I believe in and whenever I’m tempted to go against it, I remember that standing up for what you believe in makes you a leader and a trendsetter. Sometimes, this requires a strong personality, and trust me I’m not very confident! I pray to God to give me the strength and the great thing is, it works! Got a question about life/stress/suffering/ dating/God etc? Send it to Andrew (youth leader, Christ Church Kenilworth) on www.justaskingblog. wordpress.com

I asked a few teens around Cape Town how they

avoid teen pressure. Here’s what they said... grace bridgman

(16, Christ Church, Kenilworth) ‘I feel pressured to date guys all the time sometimes I feel it doesn’t even have to be someone specific, I just feel I want a boyfriend! But I’m lucky enough to be in a youth group that’s a great support. There are a few couples but they’re not exclusive and it’s just as cool to be single. At youth, we dance to awesome music with strobe lights and all my friends have a fat jol without drinking or smoking or even making out!’

lisa cogill

(17, Emmanuel Church, Wynberg) ‘I’ve come to a point where I can easily resist substances like alcohol, drugs and smoking because of my firm belief in God. I often put my point across about how I feel about the topic to my friends and let them dwell on it so they can make their own decisions. For me, good, clean fun is having a good time by being with the people I love: laughing, playing games, not doing things that give me a guilty conscience, like lying.’

dean parmer

(16, St John’s Church, Wynberg) ‘My friends and I have fun going to each other’s houses and playing TV games, soccer or cricket. I don’t mix with people who don’t have similar values to mine, which helps me stay clear of being pressured into things I do not believe in doing. When I feel I want to do something I know is wrong, like swearing or driving without a licence, I remind myself why these things are wrong and ask God to guide me in the right direction.’

cassie mayekiso

(16, St Philip’s Church, Kenwyn) ‘My friends and I have fun watching classic movies like Titanic, or we head out to Camps Bay for lunch on the beachfront. Discouraging friends from drinking, smoking or taking drugs is not the ideal situation for friendships but funnily enough, it can strengthen them. At the time your friend may look at you in disbelief, but ultimately they know you’re doing it because you care. I feel that having a million and one boyfriends by the time you are 21 does nothing for you. My friends may date and get very sexually active but that’s their decision. I just keep in mind that I have a Prince Charming out there who has kept himself for me and I’ll keep myself for him. We have a mutual understanding like that, without knowing each other!’

WIN!!!

this blue/red unisex scarfy thing by Evolve Apparel (www.evolve-apparel.co.za). Simply sms SCARF to 072 802 7022. Competition ends 31 August 2011

06

thislife | issue 4

Grace, Lisa, Cassie and Dean manage to fend off those social pressures


paparazzi

CAUGHT IN THE ACT what are the people of St John’s Parish getting up to?

BABS, JUL IA, with the W LUCY AND CHRISTIN arehouse E @ Muize nberg b

each

CAILIN @ Emmanuel children’s church

HAPPY 100TH! MR CORNELIUS SEPTEMBER of St Luke’s Church recently celebrated his centenary

ANDREW, GARTH AND GILL ON SANDWICH DUTY @ Feeding the Hungry, an initiative by Christ Church, Kenilworth

MARCUS, N E caught in th W MINISTER @ St Ph ilip e act of hu gging his w ’s Church, ife Colleen

DEBBIE AND MARK of Church of the Holy Spirit ‘relax’ on Mothers’ Day with Jessica, Emily, Joseph and Sofia

KIM AND APPLE @ St

er camp

John’s Church summ

thislife | issue 4

07


coolstories

A series highlighting the varied activities of people in St John’s Parish, Wynberg (www.stjohns.org.za)

spotlight on... Eleanor Lawrence, principal

whole new world opening up

i

started at Emmanuel Educare pre-school here in the Westlake community 10 years ago.  At that time I had 32 children to look after and I was teacher, cook, bottle-washer and nurse!

  When I arrived there were people living in and around the school building, even in the toilets. They wanted the school provisions which are kindly given to me by Pick n Pay but I said ‘Sorry, I am a teacher, the food is for the children - we are a school and not a soup kitchen!’ But we supplied the community when there was surplus food, and still do.

The school has grown enormously since those days. Now we have 127 pupils, five teachers, five assistants, four ladies in the kitchen and a caretaker. There’s also my dog Keeno who comes to school with me some days. She takes the best seat in the office but is very well mannered.   There are a lot of challenges in the community here. Drugs, alcoholism, child abuse, incest and relationship problems occur where the children get caught in the middle. Today I had a girl in my office, so traumatised because someone entered through her window last night.

Many of the children are at a disadvantage when they come here because they speak so many different languages – Portuguese, Xhosa, French, Swahili, Zulu, Lingali – and we are an English medium pre-school. We see the turmoil on their faces as they sit and look at us as if we come from a different world!   But as we teach them, we see a whole new world opening up to them. At the end of the three years, our children are blooming and able to converse in English. Good schools in the area welcome the children we send them. We get feedback that they are being called up on stage for work well done, diligence, good attendance, being able to speak with intonation and being happy in class. To other people this means nothing, but we know for them it is a huge victory over their circumstances. It makes it all worthwhile.   If I didn’t have the Lord in my life, I don’t know where I’d be! He gives me wisdom, even when I lose my cool and my voice gets very loud. Personally, I don’t call that shouting, it’s just raising your voice a decibel!

Emmanuel Educare is a private independent pre-school run under the auspices of Westlake United Church Trust. It is governed and sponsored by six local churches of different denominations. Private sponsorship is also welcomed to assist families who otherwise could not afford the fees (currently R250/month).

08

thislife | issue 4


coolstories

i

used to run a clothing company but I’ve always been drawn to community projects, so in 2003 I volunteered at Westlake United Church Trust, which runs a range of community support programmes. I’m mainly involved in supporting the arts and crafts project. I find work for anyone with a crafting skill and facilitate opportunities for them to make things - over the years we’ve produced “Madiba shirts”, cushions, belts, wooden Christmas trees, bracelets, button necklaces.... We try to make to order, and sell

A series highlighting the varied activities of people in St John’s Parish, Wynberg (www.stjohns.org.za)

necklaces to various shops in the area - and occasionally take part in craft markets.

their own co-operative in the building and sew big volumes of bags for a local organisation.

Of course there are frustrations and difficulties - one of the greatest is that I have not yet managed to empower the crafters to find their own work. But I love being here because it’s where miracles happen every day. We have lots of success stories. We had a group of Congolese refugees who came on our adult literacy programme, then did a sewing course with us, and now they all have jobs. We also have a group of women who started

Why do this? I like knowing I’ve made a little bit of an improvement in someone’s life. It’s not necessarily all the time as the work ebbs and flows, but with it they are better off than they would have been. Also they are a very faithful, loyal bunch of people who patiently wait for work and are usually eager to try new things. I see amazing answers to prayer here. It really strengthens my faith!

spotlight on... Judy Lambrecht,

community crafts whizz

miracles happen every day

! IN W e and r u c i y an

A m dicure b er, pe n Slat e Kirst nstantia. CURE Co s MANI . 7022 ly sm Simp 072 802 n ends to petitio 011 Com ugust 2 31 A

this page proudly sponsored by Dorrington Jessop Incorporated Attorneys. Contact Barry Jessop: barry@dorringtonjessop.co.za thislife | issue 4 09


younglife

Hey!

I’m Joshua, I’m 12 and I belong to St Luke’s Church, Diep River. Do I look like a Man United player?

My total dream

Leg sandwich in the Drakensberg – yum!

No comments please about my Prison Break haircut for the new term! At school I play cricket, tennis and hockey. Oh yes, we have a few lessons, too…

Believe it or not, I bake as well as play sport. These hertzoggies were for my school’s outreach programme

I were all y! My family and orters. World Cup craz pp su Bafana Bafana ea ent out, I becam When Bafana w te ppor r… Netherlands su

Middle child – it’s tough being the one between Chelsea and Kian, holding the family together…

Well done

10

Q: Can I still go to heaven if I’ve been

naughty every single day of my life?

A:

Yes! God wants us to be his children, not robots! Once we ask Jesus to accept us as his followers, God accepts us as his children. Because Jesus died for us we can be joined to him and his family WHATEVER we’ve done - and the Bible says that ‘nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God’. The funny thing is that the more we grow to know this love, the less we want to do anything that might make God sad Why don’t you pray a simple prayer, saying you’re sorry for anything bad you’ve done, and asking him to take charge of your life and to guide you? Then find some others who want to live as his children too - and encourage each other. You could start by going to a church or youth group Answer by Rev Gordon Crowther, Church of the Holy Spirit

thislife | issue 4

to Joshua for his winning photolog which nets him R250!

you can win too!

share your world with us Fancy winning this sugar rush?

Simply send us your photolog with short captions and the one we love most will win you the goodies - PLUS we’ll publish your pics in our next issue! You must be 12 or under to enter. My dad said to me, Competition and ‘Son, today I fought off the contact details on p2 powers of darkness.’ How do 
I said, ‘How did you you make a do that?’
 sausage roll? He said, ‘I paid the electricity bill.’ Push it

QUESTION TIME

Orange heartbeat! I even travelled to PE to watch the Netherlands beat Brazil in the quarter-finals

www.thislifemag.co.za


n Got a sue? y is agon sly for

l Le Emai ice at adv mail.com g l be uys@ lesly. mails wil ictest All e n the str di e treate confidenc

Help,cellphone! addicted I think I’m

Q&Aagony to my

Q: Help, I think I’m addicted to my cellphone! I constantly check for messages No I promise u, I reli luv yr new shoes! I’m just a little upset yr hubby called us cel fone addicts

and am disappointed when there aren’t any. I can’t stop using it - even when I drive! I’ve told myself over and over to leave my cell alone, but just can’t do it. Is this an addiction?

Ja, wot an IDIOT. Let’s hav r tea. My thums r sor

A: Have you ever found yourself surrounded by people

who aren’t talking to each other because they’re too busy on their cellphones? Crazy? No, it’s the norm. In our busy and tiring world, an sms may be all we can manage and it is a useful way of engaging – so when is it a problem? It becomes a problem when our emotions and behaviours are affected by something/someone and we have effectively made an idol of it/them. Dependencies include both substance and processes (over-

spending, nail biting, fantasy). Research shows that a behavioural dependency has exactly the same effect on the brain chemistry as a drug! Addiction is progressive and if left unchecked, ALWAYS GETS

WORSE.

For generations, psychologists thought that virtually all selfdefeating behaviour was caused by people repressing their feelings for a number of reasons (war/family situations/poverty, etc). However, we now know this is not the case with addiction. Addiction attaches desire to certain behaviours, people or substances until they come

to rule the person’s life. That’s why traditional psychotherapy, which releases repressed emotions, is ineffective in treating it, and why Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is so powerful. CBT is based on the principle that a cognition (thought) actually creates your emotion, and it is this emotion which determines your behaviour. If you can challenge your thoughts, you can challenge the self-defeating emotions and behaviours they produce. Recent studies indicate that CBT actually changes brain chemistry and is more effective than medication or other psychotherapies.

if addiction isn’t checked it always gets worse

w

If you are struggling with cell phone addiction, why not try some of these techniques:

Wear an elastic band around your wrist and every time you find yourself obsessing, snap the band against your wrist

Speak out loud! When you’re obsessing about possible messages on your phone, speak to a colleague or start speaking out loud the tasks you need to do for the day

responsibilities; deterioration in school or work performance; endangering your own health

and safety or that of others; listlessness, depression, nervousness, lying; insomnia or sleeping in late; shoplifting or vandalism. If you have any of these symptoms, please do something positive to

• Set yourself a limit to using your phone. This may include only checking for messages three times a day • Switch your phone off when you are driving so that you’re not tempted to respond to a sms or call

arning signs that a habit is taking over your life include withdrawing from people or

break the cyclic nature of dependency! If you understand why you behave in a certain way, the battle is already half won. To do this, it might help to try the following CBT techniques: • Repair present relationships (Mark 11:25: ‘And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses’) •

Work through painful memories of a dysfunctional family with a counsellor (Proverbs 11:14: ‘Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety’)

Choose affirming, supportive people who will encourage and hold you accountable (Hebrews 3:13: ‘But exhort one another daily, while it is called today, lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin’)

Rebuild your relationship with God, who has promised never to leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

‘You can beat addiction!’ says Rev Dr Lesly Uys (Therapeutic and pastoral counsellor, Rondebosch)

HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M DEPENDENT? Dependency on a behaviour or substance occurs in stages: • •

INTOXICATION - when a substance or compulsion causes mood changes, faulty judgment, aggressive behaviour, impaired social functioning ABUSE - use of the substance/behaviour

results in your failure to fulfil responsibilities or to maintain healthy relationships, or you might put yourself/others at risk of potential harm (like driving while reading/writing an sms)

• ADDICTION - you experience these indicators: Drug/behavioural tolerance: you need more of the drug/behaviour to obtain the same effect

Physical dependence: you suffer from withdrawal symptoms (anxiety) Craving: you develop a pattern of compulsive behaviour (cellphone use) Withdrawal: the distress caused by lack of the drug/behaviour severely disrupts your daily life thislife | issue 4

11


mylife

MOST of us question what life’s all about, and Johnny Marr

and Joybelle September are no exception. They come from very different walks of life, but both say that ALPHA, a simple 10-week church course, fundamentally changed their lives. Here, in their own words, they tell their stories…

u

Dr Johnny Marr: ‘Life is about two things - love and faith’

ntil recently, Johnny Marr, 48, was a specialist surgeon. A father of three and husband to Sue, who runs a fashion shoe agency, he lived in Bishopscourt. Johnny grew up in Knysna and attended Knysna Junior School before moving to Western Province Prep School and later Rondebosch Boys’ High School. He trained at the University of Cape Town and opened a private practice in 1999 at the Kingsbury

Hospital, Claremont. Johnny was diagnosed with cancer in March 2011. Following his diagnosis, he talked to thislife about the impact an Alpha Course had made on his life. Shortly before he died in May 2011, he made it clear that he still wanted this interview to be published. Sue is equally keen that her husband’s story be heard

alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia

What Alpha offers, and what is attracting thousands of people, is permission, rare in secular culture, to discuss the big questions life and death and their meaning. The Guardian Newspaper, London ‘It even worked for old

snobby me,’

Forbes Magazine (Susan Lee, senior editor)

12

thislife | issue 4


i

mylife

grew up in Knysna, the second of five children. My mother was a teacher and my father was a GP who subsequently went into farming. My childhood was rich in experiences.

until our oldest son Oliver was about to be born and I came to realise I wanted our child to grow up knowing Jesus. We had started attending a nearby church for baptism classes

musical and related to the beautiful music, mainly traditional hymns. I don’t remember much else having an impact on me.

astounding

Every Sunday, our parents took us all to church. I didn’t have an issue with Jesus but I probably went to church a bit resentfully as I preferred to run around the farm on a Sunday! I was sent to Western Province Prep School as a boarder in Standard 4, which for me was like turning a tortoise on its back - I never quite got over the loss of growing up on a farm! I was in the choir, which involved singing at St John’s Church in Wynberg every Sunday. I dressed in a red and white tunic and a stiff white collar. I suspect that killed the love of God in me for a while because the happiest words in the whole service for me were the final blessing “May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you…” Oh, the joy of knowing we were only two minutes away from getting out of church! In high school I prayed most nights and as I was involved in various leadership roles, I was conscious that swearing, drugs and too much alcohol were not right - but that was about the extent of my faith. At university I knew that Jesus loved me and still prayed most nights, but maybe more out of habit than anything else. Obviously I knew the history of Jesus but I didn’t really have a sense of who he was, or take him very seriously, and I certainly didn’t tolerate ‘bible punchers’.

It’s quite astounding because when I look back, I’m not aware of any prayer that hasn’t been answered. Look, I might pray in desperation when I lose a golf ball and not find it, but I mean serious things. There was a miraculous healing of a young chap with severe arthritis that really encouraged me, as I had prayed for him. There was also the recovery of my son Matty who was dangerously ill at one time with an intraabdominal abscess. Happy days with daughter Jeanie in Cape Infanta for Oliver and they introduced the concept of the Alpha course there. The time felt right to explore and we signed up. But in fact that first Alpha didn’t make a huge impact on me. My overwhelming memory of that first Alpha is not in the least spiritual. As

However a little later, some friends started going to the Church of the Holy Spirit, a new Anglican church in Kirstenhof. As our church was temporarily without a minister, we too started going there. This church also ran an Alpha course and it was then that I took a leap of faith in a big way. Finally, everything just

beautiful thing I met Susie at Forrie’s, a student pub, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It took quite a while to connect with her again as she was at Stellenbosch University, but we eventually got it together. She had a very strong faith but it never really impacted on me. I was unaware that Susie was praying for me daily. I didn’t really have an interest in exploring my own faith

and talk to him one-on-one, which I didn’t know how to do before. I started to know him as my friend and understand what it meant for him to be my saviour.

Johnny with sons Oliver and Matthew at a family wedding shortly before he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer part of the course we went away for a weekend and all I really remember is sharing a bungalow with a lovely man who used the bathroom a lot in the night! The part I enjoyed the most was the worship. I’m a little bit

made sense. It got me to a new level in my faith. In fact it brought me into a relationship with Jesus that taught me how to pray confidently to him

Not long afterwards, I had a careerthreatening problem with my neck when a disc prolapsed, causing nerve entrapment. I was off work for six weeks and started reading Chasing the Dragon by Jackie Pullinger, a lady who worked with drug addicts in Hong Kong. She talked about the power of the ‘Prayer of Faith’ mentioned in James chapter 5: Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Jackie Pullinger wrote that in many cases, this simple prayer had been successful in getting people off heroin. I thought that if she could do that with this prayer, anything was possible. I was due for an op but kept praying and on the Friday, three days before my operation, the pain disappeared and I never had to have it.

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What is Alpha? Alpha is a fun, relaxed course which examines the claims of Christianity and is aimed particularly at anyone who doesn’t attend church or who seeks to ‘brush up’ their spirituality. At weekly sessions, usually held over a meal, participants hear and discuss topics such as Is there a God? Why am I here? Where did I come from? Where am I going? No question is ever considered too simple or too hostile

thislife | issue 4

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mylife stressed

radical shift

I was now at a stage where I was confident that God was in control of my life. But I didn’t always call on him in the stress and busyness of daily life. There were many times when I lost perspective and would try and get through my daily routine without him - I certainly wasn’t a ‘model Christian’! Eventually I would get to the realisation that I wasn’t going to cope on my own and would pray for God’s help and guidance, and usually things would come right again.

On 26th March 2011 I was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer, following a CT scan the day before for a minor stomach niggle. I was physically really strong at the time. The weekend before, I had been surfing with

It’s not always easy to get to church, especially as your children grow up and start having their own favourite places to worship on a Sunday. And when you’re not plugged firmly into a particular church, there are times when your faith is not the number one thing in your life. It’s like a flame that gets a bit low. At these times I found doing another Alpha course or a marriage enrichment course based on Johnny, Susie and family biblical principles was the ideal way to rekindle that flame and my son Ollie, diving for oysters and help bring back things into perspec- even managing to catch some fish, tive. Once Jesus became my top so to say it was a shock to get the priority again, my relationship with news is an understatement. There my family and everything else, inare very few survivors of this cancer, cluding work, would flow positively so as a family we’ve been dealing from that. It’s easy to lose track of with the situation and the radical that perspective but it’s actually the shift in our lives ever since. I have most important thing in life. started chemotherapy and we’ve I’ve been involved with a men’s breakfast group on a fortnightly basis for nearly 10 years, on and off…but mainly on! This has been the most important thing for me in terms of my faith. It’s a time when we can be honest and intimate with each other in a completely confidential setting and can spend time in a relationship with Jesus whether praying or studying the Bible or writings around the Bible: the support all stems from God’s word.

walking on the beach the other day who asked me how I was doing. I answered that in some ways the cancer has been amazing in bringing me perspective on life. He asked me to sum up that perspective in one word, I said no - but I can do it in two! Life for me now is about love and faith. Everything else is trivial.

not scared The second thing is that I have discovered my faith is unwavering. I’ve never been more acutely aware that my life is held firmly in the hands of Jesus. I can’t understand why this illness has happened to

to leave behind, and this certainly makes things harder, I’m not scared at all. While I accept my future - the facts and figures for my type of cancer are dismal - I know that Jesus performs miracles and I’m praying that ‘Prayer of Faith’. I firmly believe that God will perform miraculous healing through this situation. The miracle may have nothing to do with me, it may be that so-andso comes to know God through this or it may be beyond my understanding, or it may be inner healing in me! I’m not scared of death because I know I’m going to be with Jesus. I’m not scared of the whole process of what could happen between now and then, and I’m leaving it to the big guy. I trust him completely. Why do I believe in God? I know that Jesus died on the cross for me. That’s all there is to it. When you go on Alpha, you examine things like the historical evidence for biblical events, but the main thing for me is simple gut feel. I don’t know how a man could cope with the pain of what we are going through without the grace of God which gives us hope, gives us strength, gives us comfort and gives us the courage to fight on.

so much of what we chase in our everyday lives is so unimportant been overwhelmed with love and support from friends and family, which helps hugely. The cancer has done two things for me. The first is to bring back perspective in life again on what’s really important and what’s trivial. It’s becoming blatantly obvious to me that so much of what we chase in our everyday lives is so unimportant. I bumped into a friend

me or try to explain it, but I find it doesn’t matter as I know God has a plan for my life, this is part of it and I’m happy with that. Many people have questioned it and said what’s the point in loving Jesus if you are going to get cancer and die or whatever? I’m saying: don’t question it. I’m completely convinced God is real and right and I trust him, whatever happens. While I am sad because of what I might have

A lot of us know about Jesus but like me some years ago, have put him in a box for another day. But I’m saying, who knows what will happen tomorrow? If you are putting off exploring your faith or making a commitment to God, it’s worth getting yourself sorted out now. There might not be another day.

alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia ‘The Alpha Course provides a place for people to ask questions and find answers. I warmly commend it to those wanting to explore deeper issues of life and faith.’ Thabo Makhoba, Archbishop Of Cape Town

‘Alpha is a non pressured, and fun, course, and it shows us how Christianity can be relevant and empowering to our lives.’ Bear Grylls, TV Adventurer

Interested in the global reach of Alpha? Go to http://vimeo.om/20871840 for a 5 minute video with a cameo appearance by Prince Charles (what??) 14

thislife | issue 4


mylife

i

Joybelle, from shoplifter to voluntary worker: ‘I’m a new person’

Joybelle September, 59, has

three daughters, seven grandchildren and lives in Grassy Park. She works as a volunteer with prisoners in Pollsmoor Prison, and also helps rehabilitate ex-offenders. Here she talks of the impact the Alpha Course made on her life.

was born in the apartheid years and my parents divorced when I was three. My mother was a live-in domestic worker in Plumstead. I lived with her when I was young but when I got to school age, my brother and I went to live with my mother’s aunt who had 13 children of her own.

There wasn’t enough space for everyone to sleep! My mother also had another aunt with three school-teacher daughters, and my brother and I moved between the two families. It seemed that we were always packing up to go to Auntie Frances or back to Auntie June.

pregnant Money-wise, my mother provided for us and we never went hungry but she wasn’t there to comb my hair or tuck me in at night. Living with the three school-teachers, I had a bed of my own and a good life. All the daughters and their mother were very creative and could make me outfits and crochet me socks, but I was always empty inside and looking for a place to belong. I was very rebellious. Authority and me didn’t go well together. At a very young age I rebelled, ran away, got involved with a boyfriend, started smoking… I got sent away at 15 to a place of safety, then discovered I was pregnant with twins and was put into a home for unmarried mothers. I was very naïve, I had only had sex once, and thought that babies are brought by the doctor! I still didn’t believe I was pregnant when the

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Alpha has been attended by 15 million people and is supported by all major church denominations ‘The Alpha Course is intelligent, biblically based, and incredibly interesting. I am convinced that when historians look back on the last few years of church history in the twentieth century they will have to acknowledge that the Alpha Course became a significant instrument in bringing thoughtful people to a faith in Christ and into the church. For the inquiring mind, there is nothing better around than the Alpha Course.’ Tony Campolo, Professor of Sociology, Eastern College, Pennsylvania, USA

Alpha is run in 163 countries worldwide thislife | issue 4

15


mylife midwife said ‘push’. They told me one baby lived for three hours only. I got to give her a name, Rochelle, and the other twin girl was taken away without me seeing her face. I blocked that whole episode out of my mind and was sent to an industrial school. I started using alcohol and dagga. When I was 20, I gave birth to a little girl I gave to my mother to look after. Then I had another girl who I also gave away to my mother, then another baby with that same guy who was very abusive. That baby was two months premature and died in hospital. So I’d had had five girls in total. Two died, two were with my mother and one was in a foster home. I realise now that I didn’t help rear them because I just couldn’t give them mother love. I gave them presents at Christmas and on their birthdays, but I was never there to comb their hair either, just as it had been for me when I was young.

and take risks and get caught. For 15 years I was in and out of prison. The first time I was afraid of what prison would be like, but after that it became my second home. I never felt guilty because I wasn’t stealing from an individual or break-

up at Christmas, give them the goods and go away again. But slowly I started to feel guilty about my lifestyle and wanted to change. I started living with my mother and helping her with my teenage kids. I was still abusing drugs and alcohol but I wasn’t stealing.

In prison in those days it was compulsory to go to church but we used the opportunity to smokkel illegal stuff. We also had to do devotions for half an hour in the morning and the evening. I refused to go, and was always reported. The Christians used to have bibles in their cells and pray, but I would play cards in the bathroom or do dagga instead. I felt the people leading the bible studies were more corrupt than me. I didn’t worry about the God who died on the cross because all my family members who were born again treated me the worst, so how could this God be love?

shoplifting I was working in factories and shops, but I never held a job long. From dagga, I started going onto mandrax. By this time I was 30. I needed money to feed my habit and joined a syndicate of shoplifters. It became my job. I would say ‘I’m going to work at my pa se winkel (my father’s shop).’ We stole all kinds of things from every type of shop, but mostly electric appliances which we resold. We’d start in Worcester and come right down into Cape Town or fly up to Johannesburg, shoplift and sell the goods to buyers up there. Or we’d rent a car and drive the goods back to Cape Town. Shoplifting became a thrill. If, for example, I stole liquor, I could buy a bed and wardrobe with a week’s takings. We would put on old ladies’ corsets and loose tops and stand in front of each other while we packed things into our corsets – my friend could pack 16 bottles of cooking oil into hers! It was a lekker feeling if the day went well and you didn’t get caught. But often by the time my boyfriend had taken his share of my money and then I’d had a few drugs, I had nothing left the next morning. Then I’d have a desperate craving for drugs again

prison. I was very cross with God. I said ‘What kind of a God are you? I’m not stealing and I’m looking after my kids. Let the rapists and murderers go to prison, not me!’ I knew about church. One of my aunts was a born again Christian, and my other aunt went to the traditional Moravian church. I was often in and out of the Baptist church acting in plays as I grew up. When I started going wrong, those aunts said I would never come right, so I said ‘to hell with your Jesus and your church!’

Then a girl in for fraud invited me to a bible study. I said ‘I don’t do church and you’re just doing this to get parole. I know you convert people and I don’t want to be converted. I already come from a converted background.’ But I went to the study in order to get her off my back, thinking if I did, maybe she wouldn’t bother me again. In the bible study was a white woman with a nice haircut and a coloured woman. The way they were praising God fascinated me. They looked so free. The next week, I went again. I was fascinated by these two women. The coloured woman was sitting next to me and said ‘Did you come here to give Jesus a chance?’ and I said ‘No’! Joybelle: ‘I gave God a try’ ing into anyone’s house. I would tell myself that Woolworths or Pick n Pay were not going to miss the stuff I took. I used to steal things for my kids’ birthdays and Christmas. I’d rock

police But then I got caught from an old case. I had always given false names when I got caught, but somehow the police found me and I was sentenced to six years in

On the third week, one of the ladies I felt drawn to, started to run the Alpha Course. I signed up for it for two reasons: I knew I wanted what they had. And I also needed lots of credentials to get out of prison – I had already done leather-making, fabric making and a barlady course!

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Where can I do Alpha near me? EITHER At one of the churches featured in this magazine: Emmanuel Anglican Church, Wynberg (www.emmanuelcapetown.org) Launch dinner Saturday 10 September 2011, course starts Monday 12 September. Call 021 797 0179 for details Christ Church, Kenilworth (www.christ-church.org.za) July or August 2011. Check www.christ-church.org.za for details, email alpha@christ-church.org.za or call 021 797 6332 16 thislife | issue 4

St Philip’s Anglican Church, Kenwyn (www.stphilipscapetown.org) Course starts September 2011. Call 021 801 7186 for details Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof (www.chscapetown.org). Alpha for students and young adults starts Sunday 7 August at 5.30pm. Launch evening Sunday 31 July @ 6pm. Call 021 701 3201 or check out the website

ALTERNATIVELY visit www.alphasa.co.za and click on Find a Course for details of Alpha courses running all over the country


mylife change Halfway through the course I committed my life to God. I said to myself, I can’t do this any more. I’ve tried everything in the book, I’m tired of prison and I’m going to give God a try in my life and see if it works. These two women that I love so dearly, maybe God will make me lekker like them! I was very connected in prison. I had dagga that my agents got for me that I used to help me get to sleep. But I was committing my life to God so I got rid of it. That night I had a peaceful sleep even without the dagga. I also stopped my lesbian relationship which I had been conducting mainly to rebel. I started going to bible study every Wednesday. You must see the change that took place in me. I was happy! A lady prayed through things with me and prayed for my hands to be made clean. Then I went on a Restorative Justice programme in the prison. That brought a whole new perspective to my life and I had to ask forgiveness

from my children and my mother. I was arrogant, I thought I never hurt anyone but then I realised I had hurt people and how my shoplifting affected the shop staff, who could lose their jobs or their annual bonuses because of me.

scatter cushions I didn’t pull away from my friends. There was a girl serving eight years for murder. She said ‘If Joybelle can do this, why can’t I?’ She started coming to church and gave her life to God. She had always blocked out

made scatter cushions and table mats to keep myself busy and earn a living. The temptation got less and less. But it still comes up. In the underworld, one day’s work would pay my rent! One day recently I was standing in a shop with R50 to buy shoes and I thought how easy would it be to steal them, but I paid for them. Hope Prison Ministries ran a support group for ex-offenders but it wasn’t doing well and they needed to rethink it. I applied for the job as assistant to the aftercare co-ordi-

What kind of a God are you? the murder but after committing her life to God, she realised she did do it. It had stemmed from anger at being sexually abused by her brother. When I finally got out of prison in 2002, every two or three days my shoplifting friends would call me to work with them, but I didn’t succumb. And God really provided for me. He sent people who gave me money and helped me. I started looking after my daughter’s baby and she paid me, then I bought a sewing machine on account and

nator and got it. Now the aftercare manager and others work for me! We don’t get a salary but we get a little support. We all live on faith as there aren’t enough funds for the staff. But God says he won’t make us beggars. Every month things are very hard but God has been faithful and he provides for me through people. I’m amazed.

shock I’m happy because I work with those who come out, I know the

challenges and the rejection they face. The biggest problem people have is getting accepted. It’s very difficult to walk into a church after coming out of prison and ‘Christians’ still stigmatise ex-offenders. My view is that these people need to experience God soon because they’re going to get the shock of their life when they go to heaven! I felt my change was genuine and I told everyone I had changed, but did my family believe me? Eight years after I gave my life to God, they said they saw a change! By then I had seven grandchildren. We all live together and go to church together. My eldest daughter, the twin girl I’d given up for fostering, came looking for her mother with the social worker a while back and I now look after her two children.

new When I think how God has taken me out of where I was! You wouldn’t have wanted to sit next to me. I had no self worth, no dignity. God has made me new. I don’t even want to walk in the street eating or drinking nowadays! I feel he allowed me to go through all that to equip me to work in his field and identify with other people who are struggling. In my shoplifting days I had everything. Gold jewellery, every new perfume that was advertised, good shoes, butter. But I will never go back. I am happy. And in a country where so many youngsters are on tik, my granddaughters are so strong that I don’t ever have to worry where they are! I encourage people to look to God. Don’t look around, look to God!

WIN!

A day six people to tour for up to th sample delic e Cape winelands someone elseious wines and let driv TOUR to 072 e! Simply sms 802 7022. (Competition ends 21 Augu Prize to be ta st 2011. 2011. Tour is ken by 30 September with Southern Sky Tours and winner m ay another tour in choose stead, eg Cape of G Hope/Kirstenb ood osch Gardens)

Joybelle with grandchildren Leon, Cindy, Rubi and Nikah

alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia alpha trivia ‘Many claim Alpha has changed their lives and appear genuinely happier for the experience’ Time Magazine

During 2011, roughly 240 men, women and young offenders will have done an Alpha Course at Pollsmoor Prison, Cape Town. One survey by a bible college with the Department of Correctional Services claims that Alpha reduces re-offending rates (estimated to average 65% nationally) down to 8%.

cy Don’t fan? a h Alp aries

ound Try the Burse, o C rse iage Cou the Marr Parenting or the instead Course 27 (see p s) for detail

‘Alpha is an unqualified triumph’ The Daily Telegraph, London

Who started the Alpha Course? Nicky Gumbel, a Cambridge-trained British advocate who left law for the church Nicky Gumbel thislife | issue 4

17


photomoment

UP

bottoms

photo by Tonya Hester of Harfield Village, Claremont ‘I like big butts and I cannot lie!’ - Donkey in Shrek, the movie

18 thislife | issue 4

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W

... fame pluIsN a large prin

photo by Dianne Christie of Newlands ‘This is my nephew Ethan who decided that his photo shoot had ended’

t of your own pho to! Submit to us any hi-res pho yourself have to you taken that co nnects to our next them e We will print th ‘Say Cheese’. e winning entr next issue of y in the thislife an 8 x 10 inch and give you print of it (courtesy of N oyes Pharmac y, Kenilworth) Contact detai ls on p2 thislife | issue 4 19


stickyissues

Sticky, stickier, stuck?

WsIsioN ns with

three se oach life c m. Sally BinghKaY to Sms STIC7022 072 802 s end Competition2011 31 August

Sue Mellows,

Rev Gordon Crowther,

Q: If Christianity is so great,

why aren’t more people Christians?

A:

‘Actually, more people ARE Christians! The largest world faith is growing rapidly. While the institutional church is declining in the north and west, communities of Christians are multiplying in the south and east. In 1949 in China there were about half a million Christians, but recent surveys put the number of Christians at 39 to 41 million – an explosion of growth. In our own continent of Africa, in 1900 there were only 9 million Christians, but by the year 2000, there were an estimated 380 million. At this rate, there will be 633 million Christians in Africa by 2025. But these statistics don’t answer the nub of the question: if following the way of Jesus Christ is so great, why doesn’t everybody?

a new dimension of life Following God demands a positive choice and personal change. It means more than adding a church service to the diary and a new social set. While once the song of your life was “I did it my way”, now it’s God’s way in everything. Jesus said that to follow him means taking up “a cross” daily – and anyone carrying a cross is headed for crucifixion! While more Christians died for their faith in the last century than in all the previous centuries put together, it’s hard to die to self and live for God. This requires courageous humility. Yet millions of people from every conceivable background, culture and circumstance have chosen to trust the God that Jesus reveals. For more and more people, the small and unlikely path of the crucified Jesus opens to a new dimension of life. They speak of a peace that far exceeds human intellect, and of experiencing the powerful goodness and love of God in even the direst circumstances. They tell of freedom from shame and fear – even fear of death. They talk of the joy of God present with them, and an empowering hope which enables transformation. The door has been opened for each of us, and all of us. But it takes some humility, courage and trusting Jesus to step through it.’

Rev John Atkinson, member of Christ Church, Kenilworth (john@cmj-sa.org)

theology student, Church of the Holy Spirit (mellows@telkomsa.net)

Church of the Holy Spirit (gordon@chscapetown.org)

Q: How can a loving God create

someone like Caster Semenya, with all her distressing gender issues?

A:

‘According to the newspapers, Caster Semenya, the 800m athletics world champion, was born with a medical condition whereby both male and female sexual characteristics are present in her body. This would understandably be the cause of considerable distress and can cause confusion for us too as we seek to reconcile this unfortunate phenomenon with a creator God who is supposed to be loving.

longs to comfort us To make sense of the situation, let’s look at what the world and humankind was like in the beginning. God made the world perfect, not as in its current state. However, when Adam and Eve chose to rebel against God, their disobedience had devastating consequences for the human race. Sin, evil, sickness, decay and death made their appearance. The destructive consequences of mankind’s rebellion are all too keenly felt to this day. They would include arbitrary medical anomalies, such as those experienced by Caster Semenya. It is important to emphasise God’s love for Caster Semenya. The Bible’s recurring theme is the love of God for humankind. This gives us complete assurance that God doesn’t love Caster Semenya - or some other person with physiological differences - any less than he loves someone whose appearance is “normal”. God is not a distant, uncaring being who is disengaged from human suffering. He feels our pain himself and longs to comfort us. We know this because we see how Jesus constantly displayed compassion to the needy and socially marginalised, and he wept at the death of a friend. Jesus and God the Father have the same character. Jesus declared: “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father…I am in the Father and the Father is in me.”(John 14:9-10) Fortunately, we have the expectation though that one day Jesus will restore the beauty and perfection of creation and there will be “no more death or mourning or crying or pain” (Revelation 21:4). It can be our challenge, in the meantime to extend Jesus’ love and compassion to those who are suffering, regardless of the cause.’

Q: Don’t my good works count

for anything? Surely it’s enough to live a good life?

A:

‘The whole Bible is the story of God’s actions to have a relationship with us. Everything you read in the Bible, including the commandments, is aimed at establishing and maintaining a relationship with God. When we live a good life without a relationship with God, we miss the point completely. Imagine being in love with someone who says that they choose to live their life in another city and without communication with you. They promise to live by the values you hold, but they prefer not to talk to you about them. In what way would that be satisfying to you? Some people think that the Old Testament is about obeying the law in order to avoid God’s anger. Yet if you read it, you will soon discover that relationship always comes first. God called Abraham to have a relationship with him. Abraham was called the friend of God. Moses was given the commandments after God had said “I will be your God and you shall be my people.”

nonsense Obeying the commandments without a relationship with God makes nonsense of the commandments. It may make us a bit nicer to be near, but it does not create the relationship for which the commandments were originally intended. Obeying God is meant to be a measure of our relationship with him, not an alternative to getting close to him. The Bible says that one day we will stand before God and while he may gauge the sincerity of our love for him by what we did with our lives, ultimately he will welcome people because he knows them and they know him, not because of anything they did.’

Agree or disagree?

Our three writers invite you to email them

this page proudly sponsored by Grapevine Interactive, mobile marketing specialists www.grapevinegroup.co.za contact Neil Hutchinson on 021 702 3333 or neil@vine.co.za 20 thislife | issue 4


artymoment

ugh!

a mother’s blog

The drudge, the ordinariness,

How tempting it is to agitate in bumper-to-bumper traffic,

the sludge of everyday life!

or while waiting in a busy supermarket queue when other

Irritations like hurdles stagger

tasks are pressing. But as I learn to wait, by the blessed

the day and delight in tripping me up. Oh, to live perma-

power of the Holy Spirit (believe me this does not come

nently in dawn! There is no cooking there, no haste. I smile

naturally), it’s as if I’m at a still lake while around me races

like a saint, birds trill as if heaven’s on earth. But as that

the madding crowd.

jewelled time slips away into clang of day, so joy slips from my grasp. Trials dog me like enemy shadows.

All my inclinations are to rush, get uptight when doorbell

How then, to keep joy from fleeing with the dawn? For

it! But somehow, with a steady heart and trusting mind,

surely joy should mark the faith-filled soul? My wrinkled

I deftly handle such pressing things and life becomes a

cloth of life should glow with quiet incandescence.

series of quiet victories. The surrender of my will and the

and phone ring together: supper will burn if you leave

practice of trusting God transmute harassed moments The answer lies in the most profound and sweetest words

into golden silence. How serious is it really that I lack the

I have come to know. These I had never practised till my

ingredients for that stew I was looking forward to? Should

soul met with Christ; cynicism and hubris did not allow

I not steam whatever vegetables I have, and eat them with

it. As that grand man, Andrew Murray, so painstakingly

olive oil and thanksgiving?

elucidates in his devotional classic Abide in Christ, I am absolutely to trust and absolutely to surrender.

Surely I say with the psalmist ‘You fill me with joy in Your

presence; You make known to me the path of life’. For God, I discover, is the ultimate Alchemist, who turns base metals to gold. Base thoughts, habits, attitudes and

For backwards I might go, too – no angel, me. I can still

indeed moments, sweeten to gold as I do that very trusting

lose it along with the best of them. But forwards I go too

and surrendering, or as some new age modernists would

– and further that way than back! For I am one whom the

have it, let go.

Son sets free. Yebo, yes, I am free indeed!

‘Jo Bloggs’ is a member of Christ Church, Kenilworth and lives in Plumstead Want to read more of her? Go to www.themastersbard.blogspot.com

this page proudly sponsored by a GivenGain supporter (www.givengain.com) thislife | issue 4 21


pass it on

seniormoment

Icitizen. feel useless! It’s the refrain of many a senior While some adjust happily to their golden years, others find

they’ve clambered off the hectic treadmill of their younger years into a vacuum that’s equally challenging. But it need not be so. The older

generation has so much to give. And when this wisdom is tapped into, both sides benefit, as thislife found out by tracking down crossgenerational relationships happening in a suburb near you

Whether it’s a nailing a sewing technique or grappling with a stressful situation, Glenda Baker (right) is happy to pass on her experience and wisdom to Gil Marsden

G

il Marsden, 38, is a mother of two, a website designer and church worship leader. She is married to Gary, professor of Computer Science at the University of Cape Town. They live in Bergvliet

i

met Glenda about 6 years ago. We were jointly facilitating a bible study group for a while at the Church of the Holy Spirit in Kirstenhof and I soon realised she was the sort of person you could trust, who was discreet, and who taught and facilitated the group really well. About two years ago, I went on a leadership course and was advised to find a mentor for a year. Glenda had left our church by then but I asked her if she would consider it because I liked her theology and her sensible advice about kids, marriage and life. I was really pleased that she was available. Initially we met every other week at each other’s house and would spend about 90 minutes together. Now we meet less regularly, but the time together is 22

thislife | issue 4

always meaningful. We often discuss parenting as that’s where so many of my concerns are currently. But I’ve also gone to Glenda with very personal, emotional issues, and she’s allowed me to pour out my heart. I might want to react in a certain way and she’s very good at asking questions that help me see things differently: “What has happened that makes you think this

lazy thinking is different? What does Gary say? What does God say?” She always asks a question before she leaps in with an answer – sometimes I can almost see her biting her tongue! It’s a great technique that has helped me to help others.

When I walk out of a session with Glenda, it’s a huge help to have shared a burden and heard a different perspective on things. She has a healing ministry and a lot of godly wisdom and learning, and I often make notes of what she says. It’s so great when she confirms what I think God is telling me – and what Gary is saying too! I also appreciate it when she challenges my lazy or “default” thinking – not to mention the encouragement of her praying with and for me. I am fortunate to be able to speak pretty freely to my parents – who live in Zambia – and they are very responsive and wise. However, I find it helpful to have a completely objective person to talk to, who is removed from the emotion of any

issues and who can independently help me to assess a situation. I’m now mentoring a student and I’m not sure I’m that great at it, but I’m available to listen. And to pray too – because while life experience can be so invaluable, human wisdom is still limited! The student I mentor is, in turn, mentoring a girl in her teens because there are so many things she wished she had known in her own teens that she wants to pass on. I think everyone should be both mentored, and mentoring! It’s crucial to find someone you respect, then maybe set it up for a season and if it’s not working, reassess. In any case, I think most mentorships work best for a season – so no-one is locked in for life!


seniormoment

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i

lenda Baker, 57, has two daughters and a young granddaughter. Until recently, she helped run a coffee shop. She lives in Meadowridge and is married to Neil, a banker

believe quite strongly in helping from one generation to the next. It’s biblical: Titus 2 verses 1 to 5 speaks about the value of it. I’ve always been motivated to pass things on because I always wished I had someone to do it for me. Whether you’re speaking spiritually or practically, experience helps so much more than theory. Years ago I heard someone like James Dobson on the radio talking about the fact that things have changed so much since psychology came on the scene. We’ve stopped passing things down and started teaching only what psychologists teach. However, what I’ve really

learnt is that nothing changes from one generation to the next. The younger generation always thinks the older one doesn’t understand. I thought no-one understood me, just as my two daughters thought noone understood them! I can see that nowadays some things are undeniably different, but the principles and human nature remain the same. We respond in similar ways throughout time.

feeling worthless Obviously I don’t want to break any confidences, but one of the things I tried to help Gil with was to

encourage her when her children were very young and she was feeling worthless, that her brain was drying up and she was just clearing up mess all day.

Dos and Don’ts?

You have to be careful not to put your own stuff onto someone else. You can be too emphatic about doing things a particular way but I’ve learnt there are many ways. Mentoring or ministering to people, as I prefer to call it, is more a sharing of what has worked for you, and the person you are trying to help needs to take from it just what is good for them.

What do I get out of it?

It’s like a friendship thing. It doesn’t only work one way. In the process I’ve learnt from Gil - for example, to be careful of materialism. I think she’s the most unmaterialistic person I know! I value these lessons. They’re wonderful, such a blessing. More than anything I think mentoring, whether official or unofficial, is about checking our values and how we look at things. In my lifetime I never heard of anyone in their old age who wished they had a better car or a bigger house, but I often meet people who wished they’d done their relationships better.

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harles Parry, 51, is Director of the Alcohol and Drug Abuse Research Unit at the SA Medical Research Council. He lives in Pinelands, is married to Rebecca, a clinical psychologist, and has two teenage children

i

In caffeine veritas: Brian Burnett (left) and Charles Parry always kickstart their mentoring sessions with good coffee

was involved in a legal issue at work about 18 months ago and felt I needed support and prayer to deal appropriately with it. I was specifically looking for support from someone experienced in the corporate sector at senior level. My church, Christ Church, Kenilworth, is keen to support people in their lives outside church and

offers a mentorship programme. This puts younger people in contact with older people they believe they will relate to. I already knew Brian Burnett as a positive and sensitive individual who enjoys life and has a wonderful sense of humour, and was very happy we could be paired up.

affirmation We met every four to five weeks in Brian’s home in Rondebosch. We’d spend 20 minutes in his kitchen having some “good” coffee and a snack, and then we’d go through to his living room. He would typically get the ball rolling, and over time

our discussions spread well beyond the initial work problem to other areas, such as my role as a husband and father. He’d keep a few notes during and after the session so that he would follow up on one or two issues at our next meeting. He’d also pray for me, and sometimes read out a bible verse if he felt led to do so. If something pressing

this page proudly sponsored by the St Leger Retirement Hotel, Muizenberg (www.retirementhotel.co.za) or 021 709 6200

thislife | issue 4

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seniormoment

Brian didn’t always agree with me and would challenge me when necessary, but discussing issues with him would normalise things. Much of the time, rather than giving advice, he would just listen, sum up the situation and reflect it back to me. I felt hugely affirmed and listened to at a time when I was carrying a lot of stuff.

Brian would open up about his life and we would pray about these issues as well, though this is perhaps not typical of most mentoring relationships. This was great as I didn’t like feeling it was only a one-way street! I got to understand him, which was important. He’s just starting retirement and sits on some boards, helps his sons in various ways, looks after his grandchildren, plays golf regularly and is a really good role model to me of how to manage your retirement well.

Even though 90% of the issues were mine, sometimes

Our meetings are on hold for now. My particular crisis was

was coming up, particularly concerning the legal issue, I would email him and ask for prayer for that specific day.

averted and I got very busy and needed the time back but we haven’t closed the door at all and may pick it up again. We’re just on pause! Mentorship is a great system. Retirees in particular have a lot to offer and they can also benefit by knowing that they are making a useful contribution. It doesn’t cost anything and is a particularly helpful system for men, as they can find it hard to slow down or to feel comfortable talking about things they are dealing with.

B

rian Burnett, 65, is the retired financial director of a media company. He lives in Rondebosch with his wife, Pam. They have two sons and three grandchildren

m

entoring is quite simply a chance for someone to share issues with another person who’s been around the block before them. I first experienced it at work 10 years ago when my company introduced it. I learnt a lot there, including the key principle that if a mentoring relationship is to flourish, both parties must be keen to establish and maintain the relationship. If meetings are continuously postponed, you have to question whether the relationship is really working!

resist leaping in When I retired, Jeremy Clampett of Christ Church, Kenilworth asked if I’d like to become involved in the church’s mentoring programme. I said yes because I enjoy working with people. I’m happy to sit with a person and listen and give guidance where appropriate because it gives me pleasure to help if I can.

A major point to remember as a mentor is that you are the listener. You are tempted to say “This is what you should do” and to advise frequently, but you have to resist that! If you leap in with advice too quickly, the “mentee” won’t have the chance to really open up and lay out all the issues. It’s imperative to be wellmatched as individuals. The matching process, which in the Christ Church system is done by trained mentoring coordinators, is key to success. In my business mentoring, I saw some relationships break down simply because of poor mentor/mentee matching. Establishing a strong sense of trust is also crucial. Making it clear to the mentee that nothing will go beyond the four walls of the room is critical, and to emphasise this I also open up with things I want to talk about. You both need to be patient, too. You can’t always tell straight away if the relationship is working as the issues can take a while to work through.

thislife | issue 4

Cape Town is…

Lorna Eksteen, St Luke’s Church … taking the ‘free train’! Senior citizens can travel free anywhere in the peninsula every second Tuesday of the month, so when the weather’s good, my friends and I hop on at the nearest station and head off to Fish Hoek or Stellenbosch for the day. In Fish Hoek, we walk on the beach, then breakfast at one of the coffee shops in the main street. In Stellenbosch I sometimes visit the Village Museum to look at its beautiful old furniture, and enjoy a late breakfast at one of its restaurants. I am relaxed and happiest when I am having these adventures or out in nature. After 46 years of working in the clothing industry and at Groote Schuur Hospital, I want to enjoy my retirement!

Other dos and don’ts?

It’s a good idea to meet somewhere private and not too frequently unless there is an urgent issue, as there is no quick fix! I make notes after my meetings with my mentees so that I can follow up on specific issues the next time we meet. I prepare before each subsequent session by reading my notes and praying. During the meeting we have a cup of coffee, talk about everything relevant, and pray together. I don’t believe in having too much structure. I haven’t got all the answers by any means, but at the end of the day if the mentee can take something from the relationship, that’s great. I believe Charles and I had a meaningful time and I really enjoyed meeting with him.

WIN!

Luncheon fo the prestigiousr four at Retirement St Leger telephoning P Hotel by atty or Bev on 021 (9am – 4pm) 709 6200 an will be entered your name draw. You ne d into the ed older to win thto be 75 or is Competition enprize! 31 August 20 ds 11 24

GETTING OUT My favourite thing to do in

Ronnie Stubbs,

St Philip’s Church

… watch rugby! I’m a great fan and supporter of the Stormers and you’re more than likely to find me and my son-in-law Robin at home matches. We rave when they play well, are equally disappointed to see them lose, and there is a great camaraderie to be found with friends and family in discussing their play. In truth I’m a great sports fan. I also enjoy cricket and supporting Robin in his cycle races, especially the Argus!

Jennifer Southwood, Church of the Holy Spirit

… walking barefoot on Muizenberg beach. I love to feel the sun shining from a bright blue sky and hear the soft sound of the waves. It’s at times like this that I feel closer to God than usual. I walk fast and the hard, damp sand under my feet makes me feel invigorated, refreshed and free. By the time I get back to my car I am ready to tackle the world - and my busy life! Sometimes I finish it with the cherry on the top: tea with friends or family at Knead coffee shop right opposite the beach.


hotread

BOOKS PEOPLE LOVE...

Capetonians tell us what inspired them

WIN

elming verwh petition o n a d We ha e to our com e Rivers s n o are rancin p res new F Hope, so l, e h t ’s in r u e w q h t o t o se e Her M er the book, appy to off ’s Dream! now h Daughter ER to T Her AUGH Sms D 802 7022 072 er to ent

The Ragamuffin Gospel

by Brennan Manning From R85, www.kalahari.net, www.exclus1ves.co.za, Karmal Books (021 713 0267), Reviewed by Ian Sutherland, engineer

N

either the title nor the cover of this book enticed me to read it. But once I finally did open it, the lyrical prose and compelling message immediately drew me in. It is hard to remain neutral on this subject matter: God’s grace towards mankind, especially to people who think that doubts, weakness or sin have moved them too far away from him. Manning describes us all - unbelievers and believers alike - as ragamuffins thoroughly undeserving of God’s unbounded kindness, goodness and love towards us. He calls God’s grace ‘scandalous’. Scandalous because it goes so against the grain of our culture of selfimprovement, our belief that we need to earn our salvation by being ‘good’, our creeping pride in becoming ‘holier’ than others… Manning makes his points with some honest sharing of his personal struggles with sin. I recommend this book for anyone who would like to hear afresh, or for the first time, of God’s amazing grace.

Journey into God’s heart

by Jennifer Rees Larcombe From R115, Scripture Union (021 689 8334), Karmal Books (021 713 0267), www.kalahari.net Reviewed by Jan Kilpatrick, mother of four

T

his is an honest, open and deeply personal journey into a closer relationship with God. The author, Jennifer Rees Larcombe, is a well-known British speaker and author, and in this book she shares her life’s story of how God has played a part in shaping her from a young girl into a mature older woman. Her story is one of tragedy and triumph, not always in that order! It is very honest and very moving as she shares her great highs and lows. It’s really a story that we can all relate to. She is very real about her feelings and doesn’t gloss over the hard bits with sentimentality.

Living the Christian Year: Time to Inhabit the Story of God by Bobby Gross From R134, Karmal Books (021 713 0267), Scripture Union (021 689 8334) www.kalahari.net Reviewed by Mkhuseli Lujabe, trainee minister

E-read: God by email W The internet is starting to heave with the number of daily meditations and prayers you can get sent to your screen daily free of charge. So what to choose?

thislife recommends The Bible in One Year, direct from that life-filled UK church, Holy Trinity Brompton. Written by Nicky Gumbel (the energy behind the hugely successful Alpha Course), this takes a daily theme, expands on it and offers short prayers around the topic. Real and relevant. And no adverts! Nice touch: Nicky’s wife Pippa adds her little bit at the end of every day’s email Sign on at: http://www.htb.org.uk/one-year-bible/2011

To Save A Life by Jim and Rachel Britts. From R110, CUM bookshops (DVD also available), Karmal Books (021 713 0267), www.kalahari.net and www.exclus1ves.co.za Reviewed by Nick Cotchobos, schoolboy, 15

I

got this book as a gift and heard that my friend had read and finished it over one weekend because he thought it was so great. It’s about two teenage boys, Jake and Roger, who were great friends when they were younger but move apart at high school when Jake becomes extremely popular, while Roger is considered an outsider. Jake’s life is going great until a tragic event happens. The book is easy to read because it gets you gripped on the story line very early on and you can’t wait to see what happens. It made me realise that by going out of your comfort zone you can make a huge difference in other people’s lives. It also covers teen pressures like drinking and being in the ‘cool’ crowd. It leaves you with the thought: what’s my life going to be about?

hat’s it about? Getting on a spiritual journey! How to encounter God on a daily basis through scripture, reflections, prayers and meditation on various themes. With this book you get to journey with God on a daily basis, and yet have time for personal introspection. What do you like about it? I’m someone who likes to hear God speaking to me personally, and so I enjoy being able to relate to God directly through this daily study. Anything else to say about it? Often we rush through the year without perceiving God’s glory in each and every minute of our lives, and the lives of those around us. So we sometimes miss the message that God is speaking to us every second of our lives. This book helps us not to do that, and to understand what God is saying to us at different times in our lives.

He Chose the Nails by Max Lucado. From R126, Karmal Books (021 713 0267), CUM bookshops, www.kalahari.net, www.exclus1ves.co.za Reviewed by Karly Gallant, trainee accountant

M

ax Lucado is a humorous and downto-earth author who really knows how to capture his reader. His book is an easy but meaningful read that takes a closer look at Jesus’ death. If you search the scene of the cross, you remember the other two crosses beside Christ – and that one sinner crucified next to him repented, and the other did not. This symbolises the free will that God gives us. God did so much for us, but he still gives us a choice. It is up to us to decide whether to accept his love for us or not. After reading it I can honestly say that I am more appreciative of everything I have, and have achieved. I know that God is with me through everything and answers all my prayers. I would recommend this book to all who feel at a dead end in their faith, as well as to those seeking spiritual growth. thislife | issue 4

25


betterlife

W

on the spot…

Caroline Powell

of The Warehouse grapples with

what it means to

hat’s the Warehouse?

It was established in 2003 to serve the six churches of St John’s Parish, Wynberg, in their response to poverty and injustice. It has grown into an organisation which serves around 90 churches, reaching out to some of the most vulnerable in our society. It has tabs on many of the urgent needs in greater Cape Town. More details at www.warehouse.org.za

Where’s the Warehouse?

12 Plantation Road, Wetton, 7780

give effectively

Fancy getting involved? There’s room for you!

Call Caroline on 021 761 1168 if you’re interested in helping out with food and hygiene packs, or assisting with a number of different training and support projects. If you’d like to donate quality second-hand or new items, please drop them off at The Warehouse Monday to Friday, 8am to 4pm. Please call Caroline if you have an item such as a bed or computer to establish if they can be used. The Warehouse can collect large items

m

Happy days: when we give as we’d like to receive, we brighten lives!

ost of us want to uplift the vulnerable in our city, and giving is one way of making someone’s life a little better. But how can we make our giving really meaningful? Here we interrogate Caroline about Urban Gleaning, a system of sharing good things with our city’s have-nots (and it’s all legal!)

Q What is Urban Gleaning? A ‘The Bible (Leviticus 23 verse 22) says “When you harvest your crops, leave some aside for the poor and the stranger in your land so that they can glean them and not be in need”

What does this mean for 21st century city dwellers? Well, I love to ask “What is the harvest of your life, and what can you give away while upholding someone’s dignity and meeting their specific need?” Later, the Bible speaks of “not shaking your olive trees a second time”, leaving the remainder for refugees, orphans and widows’

Q Is Urban Gleaning just for the well-off?

A ‘No! I strongly believe we all

have something to give – time, skills, money, things, even relationships. For example, I ask myself “How can I share

26 thislife | issue 4

my family with others who don’t have one?” or “How do I give generously in my relationships?”

Q How does it work practically? A ‘Instead of us at The Warehouse making endless lists of specific needs, we let people know about the opportunity to respond in broad, lifestyle ways. There are so many ways of helping practically. I remember a person who came to The Warehouse to pack clothes and saw the list of needs for a family, which included a bed. There was no bed at The Warehouse to give away, but the following day she went out to buy a brand new bed for that family. Her family also ended up visiting the community. That was a real inspiration to me. My dream is for people to end up sharing meals together - it’s a big step but a very possible one!

Food and hygiene packs

This is an ongoing opportunity to partner with families who are caring for orphaned and vulnerable children in the most practical of ways. These families receive food and hygiene packs on a monthly basis. Please call Caroline on 021 761 1168 for further details

Caroline: ‘I dream of people sharing a meal together’

We love to invite people to think and pray about how they can be giving from their harvest – to ask themselves, “What is my own second shaking?” Maybe our annual bonus is a modern version of that second shaking and we might consider using it for others? It’s also great to consider the quality of anything (whether first or second hand) you offer’

Q Tips to remember? A ‘I once heard someone say

the ideal way to give is not to drop something at the top of a slide, letting it slide down to the bottom to whoever finds it. Rather, to look someone in the eye and give in a dignified way, whether it’s giving to The Warehouse or through a local church or other organisation. I have learned that giving generously always leaves people with choices.’

Call us: 021 761 1168 Click on us: www.warehouse.org.za

Giving: the guidelines

Caroline says:

‘It often helps to ask yourself the following questions: • Would I give this to someone I love? • How would I feel if I received this? • How would I feel giving this if I was looking the person in the eye? • Knowing that people are unlikely to have the resources to fix things themselves, would I still give this item? Or can I fix it before passing it on? Because there is truth in the adage ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure’, we at The Warehouse always encourage people to give us a call and see if we know someone an unusual item could be a blessing to. I love chatting to people who ring to see if an item can be used. We often find that God provides fantastic, creative links to get the right stuff to the right people.’


infomoment

thislife magazine is published by

St John’s Parish, Wynberg This parish comprises six Anglican churches in Cape Town’s southern suburbs (detailed right), which are varied in tradition and style but united in ethos Parish office: St John’s Road, Wynberg (next to Springfield Convent and St John’s Church) Tel: 021 761 9020 Fax: 021 762 5970 Email:stjohns@stjohns.org.za Website: www.stjohns.org.za

FOODIE MOMENT

St Philip’s Church Range Road, Kenwyn 021 801 7186 www.stphilipscapetown.org SUNDAYS 9am (contemp)

Church of the Holy Spirit 38 Raapkraal Road, Kirstenhof 021 701 3201 www.chscapetown.org SUNDAYS 8am (relaxed contemp), 10am (relaxed contemp)

St John’s Church St John’s Road, Wynberg 021 797 8968 www.stjohnscapetown.org SUNDAYS 7.45am (trad), 9.30am (mod/trad blend)

St Luke’s Church Annandale Road, Diep River 021 712 6690 www.stlukescapetown.org SUNDAYS 7.30am (trad), 9.30am (mod/trad blend) WEDNESDAYS 9am (communion)

Christ Church, Kenilworth Richmond Road, Kenilworth 021 797 6332 www.christ-church.org.za SUNDAYS 8am (trad), 10am (mod/trad blend), 7pm (contemp) WEDNESDAYS 10am (trad)

Emmanuel Church Ottery Road, Wynberg 021 797 0179 www.emmanuelcapetown.org SUNDAYS 9.30am (relaxed trad)

who?what?where?

Saturday 3 December 2011 International Food Fair, St. John’s Church, Wynberg, 4pm to 9pm Sample delicious offerings from around the world – Korean, Italian and Indian to name but a few! Children’s entertainment, jazz band, tea garden, raffles and much more. Tickets R50 a book. Call Anne Swana on 021 797 5905 for further information

COURSES and other stuff

(all welcome, churchgoers or not…)

Beyond Divorce

Parenting teens

An interactive workshop of seven weekly evening sessions designed to foster personal growth in a safe and supportive environment that will facilitate your journey of self-discovery and enable you to find your own solutions. Starts 3rd term 2011

Boundaries Course

Helps us discover where our responsibilities lie, and where they do not, enabling us to become more functional, healthy and loving in our relationships. Contact Christ Church, Kenilworth for latest course dates

Marriage Course

For any parent with children aged between 12 and 18, or anyone wanting to prepare for the teenage years. The course, while based on Christian principles, is helpful for any parent with or without a Christian faith or church background. Starts Tuesday 2 August, Christ Church, Kenilworth

Fancy a weekly date with your spouse? Just the two of you – to talk together, enjoy a delicious meal and get some input to encourage and challenge you in your relationship? Recommended for all marriages, blooming or a little parched. Starts Monday 15 August at Christ Church, Kenilworth

Cost R100 per person

For any info regarding the above courses contact Sue: 021 797 6332 or sue@christ-church.org.za

ALPHA COURSES

What is Alpha and what can it do for you? See our Alpha ‘special’ on pages 12 to 17 Emmanuel Anglican Church, Wynberg (www.emmanuelcapetown.org) Launch dinner Saturday 10 September 2011, course starts Monday 12 September. Call 021 797 0179 for details

Christ Church, Kenilworth (www.christ-church.org.za) Starts July or August 2011. Check our website for latest details, email alpha@christ-church.org.za or call 021 797 6332 St Philip’s Anglican Church, Kenwyn (www.stphilipscapetown.org) Course starts September 2011 Call 021 801 7186 for details

JOIN A GROUP? Moms Connect

Connect Group

Calling all mothers…come and chill with other mothers of babies and toddlers!

Like the sound of a fortnightly meal and talk with a group of like-minded people?

Venue? Relaxed @ Christ Church Timing? Thursdays 9.30 to 11.30am Want more info? Contact Jill on 072 329 0281 or jjmathew@telkomsa.net Who’s invited? Anyone with a baby or toddler: those in the parish and those who’ve never heard of it

Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof (www.chscapetown.org). Alpha for students and young adults starts Sunday 7 August @ 5.30pm. Launch evening Sunday 31 July @ 6pm. Call 021 701 3201 or check out the website

FANCY helping a schoolchild who is STRUGGLING WITH SCHOOLWORK?

You can do it at St Peter’s Church, Mowbray, every Tuesday 3.30 to 5.30pm. Call/email Heidi on 021 761 1168 or heidi@warehouse.org.za

Whether you’re a churchgoer or not, there is a place for you. Christ Church’s connect groups meet across the southern suburbs of Cape town, often in people’s homes. For more details about who, when and where, visit www.christ-church.org.za/connect-groups or call Jeremy Jobling on 021 797 6332

Discussion Groups Group 1:18 is running a women’s group on alternate Thursday mornings looking at issues such as ‘Can the Bible be relied on?’ The personal spiritual journeys of some local women will also be featured. All welcome. Excellent coffee and cake served! Contact Kerry McConnell on 082 466 8529 or kerry@taggroup.co.za.

For men, Group 1:18 offers breakfast in a Rondebosch coffee shop one Thursday a month (7.15am) to discuss the issues that challenge men. Contact Stuart McConnell on stuart@taggroup.co.za or 082 440 1921

C

he Christ C ck out the h Centre – urch Resource magazin books, dvds, cd es. s, join and Browse for free or borrow (R 35/year) Where? C 16 Summ hrist Church Ce n When? M erly Road, Kenil tre, worth ondays to Fridays 9 to 4.30p am m and by appo Sundays Contact? intment The 021 797 resa on 6332 or email: re christ-ch source@ urch.org .za

thislife | issue 4

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6

shoppinglife

TOP 10

feelgood

7

presents

8

w

2

10

ant to give a gift that goes on giving?

4

There’s a wealth of fabulous gifts out there

that benefit community upliftment projects – you just have to know where to look! We’ve taken the hassle out of it for you and tracked down 10 fabulous gift ideas…

1. Felt pot plant holders – from R207 Made by home-based groups including GAPA Grandmothers Against Poverty and AIDS in Khayelitsha. Available @ Montebello Shop, 31 Newlands Avenue, 021 685 6445

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2. Pencil set - R50 Made by Faerie Art, which employs and teaches entrepreneurial skills to previously disadvantaged people. Call 083 673 6565 or buy from Montebello Shop, 31 Newlands Avenue, 021 685 6445 3. Telephone wire salad servers - R140 per spoon Made by Senzokuhle in Durban, which encourages emerging entrepreneurs. Available at Heartworks outlets: Old Biscuit Mill, Salt River 021 447 7183, Kloof Street 021 424 8419 or Cape Quarter 021 418 0772 4. Jams - from R20 Proceeds help mobilise differently-abled children Buy from Chaeli Campaign, 18 Culm Road, Plumstead, 086 124 2354

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5. African lady candlestick – from R195 Made by Zizamele, which trains previously unemployed artists in ceramic creation and business management. Visit Zizamele Studio, cnr Chasmay and Kommetjie Roads, Sunnydale or call Toni Burton 084 556 6423 for stockists closer to you 6. Tin notepads, R60 Made by Matamorfis of Knysna, which aids job creation and uses largely recycled materials. Available @ Heartworks outlets: Old Biscuit Mill, Salt River 021 447 7183, Kloof Street 021 424 8419 or Cape Quarter 021 418 0772 7. Photo slingbag - R295 Profits raise funds for books in disadvantaged communities. Call Jo Elkin, 082 491 5243 8. Boxers, R170 From Township Boutique, an empowering social enterprise @ New Cape Quarter, De Waterkant, 021 418 0388

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9 Beaded 4GB computer memory stick, R275 Made by Elolo which employs the women of Mfuleni Township. Call Laurie Broomberg, 082 898 9206 10. Cook Book, R100 Proceeds support organic micro-farmers in underprivileged areas. Available @ The Greenhouse, 31 Newlands Avenue, 021 689 9598

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issue 4