Those thinking the bonds of sisterhood are cut short by death need only to take one glance at the link between Britney and Shamara Bownes. Though three years apart, the two were inseparable in their 19 years together—sharing everything from hopes and dreams to secrets.
June
“Britney loved cooking, playing practical jokes, and spending time with family and friends. She thrived on making others laugh, she was the life of the party,” said Bownes, of the sister who had hopes of becoming an elementary school teacher. “We had the ability to make each other feel better,” said Shamara, now 31, of the relationship she had with her sister before Osteosarcoma struck. “For a long time I felt guilty because I couldn’t save her from cancer.” Doctors initially told Britney she had the bone cancer in July 2001. For months she had been complaining of leg pains that physicians dismissed as growing pains. X-rays that would have alerted medical professionals to the grave problem became useless when an error occurred on her films. “They had the wrong name on her X-ray and they never got to tell my mother that she had cancer. Her leg was hurting and her knee was swollen up.” Three surgeries later doctors told the family there was nothing else that could be done. And then came the news that Britney was with child. With cancer in her lungs, pelvic bone, and spine, she would eventually have to terminate the pregnancy. The cancer on her spine had grown from a pinpoint sized dot to size of an egg and doctors told her she would only have 10 months to live if she actually made it to a delivery date.
Father’s Day
“Personally witnessing someone you love— someone you’ve always known to be strong—just wither away is painful,” Bownes said, of her journey as a caretaker. “Britney was always more like the big sister as she was independent and outgoing. I knew in the end she was not happy being incapacitated and unable to care for herself.” With the cancer growing, Bownes said tension began to rise between her sister and family members that had to become 24-hour caretakers. Looking back, she said that as caretaker it is important to always take time out from the situation—especially if you find yourself becoming impatient or angry with the inconvenience of a terminal illness. “You cannot care for someone if you do not take a moment to care for yourself,” she said, when asked about tips as a caretaker. “Be open to any positive support from family, non-relatives, and organizations. Know that it cannot be done alone and it is ok to ask for help and allow others to help.” Though she did struggle with guilt, Bownes said today, she is at peace, and will never forget the life her sister was able to live. “There are many words to describe Britney: beautiful, caring, determined, eloquent, funny, gracious, kind, loving, outspoken, resilient, and strong. If we had to choose one word, however, it would be BRAVE. Merriam-Webster defines brave as having or showing courage. No matter the diagnosis or prognosis she never complained and remained optimistic. Britney fought cancer dauntlessly and with grace.”