The White Dove The Tesla Society 2/24/2014 Issue 3
In the wake of the extraordinarily
M a t ch o f T h e Ce n t u r y On Tuesday, the 18th of February, representatives from India and Germany went head to head in a furious game of Ping Pong on the fourth floor of The Academy.
India narrowly won the first set, then
lost the next to Germany. The third and
final set of what was originally intended to be a five-set game, was
The representative from Germany,
interrupted when Germany pulled a
Claus Ernst, is a Mathematics professor
muscle and was forced to cede the
and rules over the dreaded realm of
game to India.
CPS. His opponent, Nitin Krishna is a student at The Academy currently specializing in power analyses.
watches throughout Kentucky, Officials are
Good times were had by all, and India
asking all red
affirmed that this is not to be an
isolated incident, saying “expect
A close game from the start, Germany
another Ping Pong game to happen
played a controlled and subtle game,
to remain sheltered for the duration.
while his opponent took a more
A n n o u n c e m e n t : Ne w S e c t ion
Waldo found. The search for
Recently, a list of the
section (*ahem, not our
will be leaving The
potential new Exalted
fault*), we have decided
Academy next year,
Overlords has fallen into
to mostly reappropriate
many of these applicants
the space. Each week will
our hands. We are
would bring new and
choosing not to ask
include an individual
interesting things to this
ended when he
Locke where he got it.
profile on a different
Academy. Moreover, we
Finding this new
believe you should know
As sad as it is that the
what you’re getting into.
current Exalted Overlord
information increasingly more interesting than a non-existent personal
was discovered behind the picnic tables on page 3, officials say.
meleon Liz, at the wheel of her school bus, a vehicle with an uncanny ability to change
its shape and function. When asked how she would
Submit online by Saturday
Valerie Felicity Frizzle
encourage students as Exalted
Mrs. Fizzle is a science teach-
Overlord, she said would in-
er with a background in pri-
spire them to “take chances,
mary education. She is pic-
make mistakes, and get
tured here with her pet cha-
Advice From a Formerly Dead Man
The Tesla Society
I, Rasputin, have decided to offer the inhabitants of this academy some life advice from my vast stores of experience. One, make sure to make friends. Friends that can support you, that can be useful. You never know when you need to slowly tear apart a regime from the inside and out, and the sad truth is, you can’t do it alone. Additionally, always have back up options. You are subject to failure, no matter what you may have grown up thinking. Third, get to know important people. You never know when you can save somebody’s son and make a friend for life (then refer to point one). Lastly, don’t give up. Just keep coming back, and coming back, and coming back. –Rasputin.
666 Limbo The First Circle, Hell www.facebook.com/ theteslasociety @theteslasociety http://ask.fm/ theteslasociety Please submit all Letters to the Editors, Ask Judys, and Personals online.
A sk Ju d y
I’d really rather not go into it, thank you very
life, a chapter of my existence I do my best to
How did you die? Dear Anonymous, I wouldn’t expect you to understand as you are currently in some form or another, living, but that is just not something you ask a person, or ghost as it were. That is an extremely personal question and
much. My death was merely another event of my forget as I try to make the best of the afterlife. The worst thing about being trapped between realms is really just the incessant state of boredom. Please show some respect for the dead. Eternally Yours, Judy