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The White Dove S om e t h i n g W i cke d t h i s Way Com e s

The Tesla Society 2/10/2014

rather allowing the entire spectrum to pass right though it. Simply put, we were

Issue 1

invisible. But no longer. We, your benevolent editors, are coming out into the light. Well, not really. We think we’ll stick to the shadows. What we should have said is that our paper is coming into the light, (or

The Underlords’ Schedule of Availability Mon– Ian

reflecting it). No, we will not share the secret of invisibility We are a non-denominational, non-discriminatory , pro-creatures employer. Potential writers can direct their letters to our current forwarding address. The Tesla Society 37332 Limbo

The Former White Dove Hello,

Wed-Danetra Thurs-Laura Fri-Brimah Sat-Sam

The First Circle, Hell

When we, your editors, first started

Please include a lock of hair and a small

publishing The White Dove we were

animal bone for the summoning spell.

shocked at the low response from our

Alternatively, contact us on Facebook or

audience. However, we have realized our



Other News: 

mistake. After careful scientific

Mathmatica Book sells for $4000,

Happy reading!

investigation, we discovered that our paper was not reflecting any light, but


new owners “very happy” with the

Your Benevolent Editors


M a s c o t Fo u n d i n L o c a l C h op S h op Police reportedly found Sir Penskie as a result of a raid on the unnamed shop, acting off of an anonymous tip. Penskie was pronounced totaled on the scene. Sir Penskie, the unofficial “fighting automaton” of the Gatton Academy was found at a local auto repair shop.

Single’s awareness day has been

for help.

moved to Saturday

Penskie was an upstanding

to accommodate

member of the Bowling

those who did not

Green Community. “He was

live up to

like an annoying little


brother to me, just a kid,

The police have revealed no

really”, Big Red said

details on why Penskie may

emotionally. “I am just going

displaying signs of

have been targeted. They are

to miss him so much”.

being self-aware.

appealing to the community

Reddit is


Rasputin-A non-denominational

Demosthenes– Likes to talk as

way-station comes in very handy

much as the name suggests.

Due to the lack of any sub-

when dodging assassination

missions, for our first visible

Most outspoken of the editors.

attempts. Founder.

volume we will be giving you

Beauregard- Snuck into the way-

a personal look at our edi-

Locke -The scariest of the

tors. To place a personal add,

station with the forwarded mail. Ap-

bunch. Great friend to have

contact us.

parently, nobody likes a demon with

if you aren’t eaten first.

a PHD.

A Brief Explanation of the Origins of The White Dove and Her Editors. As inhabitants of a non-denominational way-station, we have become accustomed to not being taken seriously or altogether ignored. However, after observing your civilization we have determined that those most likely to pay us any mind at all share a combination of descriptive characteristics found in those who inhabit your “Academy”. The fact that Locke has a cousin who has a friend who knows a guy who used to play cards with Judy, we assure you is a mere coincidence. This paper is an interpretation of your environment as we observe it. In short, we are hopelessly bored, and the next game of Cosmic Marbles won’t start for another age.

The Tesla Society 37332 Limbo The First Circle, Hell theteslasociety @theteslasociety Please submit all Letters to the Editors, Ask Judys, and Personals online.

A sk Ju d y Hello. Many of you know who I am, but for those of you who do not, I am

more to do but offer “life” experience to those who are alive enough to use it.

Judy. The vents don’t rattle on

Address your woes to me,;

their own-that’s my handiwork.

sometimes it takes an out of

The benevolent editors of The

body, out of mind perspective;

White Dove have asked me, in a

and if that fails I can always

show of solidarity with the now

remind you that no matter how

visible paper, to also become

bad things get, you will never


find yourself as soul-numbingly

Seeing as how this is likely the

bored as I.

most exciting thing I’ll do in the I have all the time in the world

next millennia, how could I refuse? Sad, that I have nothing

Eternally Yours, Judy

This publication is intended for purely entertainment purposes and the views expressed therein do not necessarily represent the views of The Gatton Academy, its administration, or student body,


The debut issue of the White Dove, in which we introduce our editors and cause a small amount of chaos.