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APRIL 10-16, 2013






Hans Fallada’s writing has been compared to that of Dostoyevsky and Capote, and his depictions of life in Weimar and Nazi Germany are enthralling. Scribe Publications presents the three masterworks of 20th-century literature by the author of the bestselling novels Little Man, What Now?, The Drinker, and Wolf among Wolves. Two lucky TWR readers can win a pack including all three titles, and a gorgeous bag to carry them in.

For your chance to win any of these freebies, go to and answer the questions before midnight on Sunday, April 14.



Q. Which football team did Sheedy play for in the 1960s and ’70s?

Q. On which side of the river is Chill On?

The Long March combines a series of punchy essays in which AFL coach Kevin Sheedy reflects on his illustrious career and the future of our great game. A relentlessly outspoken leader, educator and provocateur, Sheedy pushes the boundaries on many range. Four lucky TWR readers have the chance to win a copy before its public release.

Chill On Ice Lounge & Ski Lodge at Southgate Complex is offering one lucky TWR reader a $100 gift voucher to experience an Antarctic winter in the heart of Melbourne. Featuring a state-of-the-art Ice Lounge made from more than 50 tonnes of sculpted ice and a ski lodge-inspired restaurant, warm up with a tapas-style menu. Guests are provided with ski jackets, gloves and boots.


US comic storyteller Mike Birbiglia launches into film with his acclaimed new comedy Sleepwalk With Me, co-written and produced by Ira Glass, of This American Life, and co-starring Lauren Ambrose (Six Feet Under). Sleepwalk With Me opens April 4 at Cinema Nova, and TWR is giving away 10 double passes, each valued at $40. Q. In which Melbourne suburb is Cinema Nova?

TWR DISTRIBUTION \ 26,000 copies DISTRIBUTION \ 1800 032 472

Q. Which country was home to writer Hans Fallada? WORTH

CITY Published by Metro Media Publishing Pty Ltd (ACN 141 396 741). All material is copyright and The Weekly Review endorses the Media, Entertainment & Arts Alliance’s “Code of Conduct”. Responsibility for election comment is accepted by Antony Catalano, 214-220 Park Street, South Melbourne, 3205. All significant errors will be corrected as quickly as possible. Distribution numbers, areas and coverage are estimates only. For our terms and conditions, please visit

OUR COVER \ Kelly Landry photographed by Marco Del Grande Like us on Facebook @theweeklyreview








Congratulations to the following winners from March 27: Carole Moore, Tiina Storer, Melinda Butson, James Walsh and Maxwell Peake. Entrants must be over 18 years old and reside in Victoria. See our competition T&Cs for more details. All winners must contact: within seven days of notification regarding collection of their prize. Prizes other than ticketed events will need to be collected from The Weekly Review, 214-220 Park Street, South Melbourne.

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COVER STORY The pull of Kelly Landry’s home town is as strong as ever, writes ELIZABETH ANILE



hint of nostalgia permeates Kelly Landry’s tone as she discusses growing up in Geelong. “We were outdoor kids. We had a great, big backyard and were always out riding bikes, skateboards and billycarts and we knew all of our neighbours … that’s something you don’t quite get in Sydney,” says Landry wistfully down the phone from her Bondi home, where she lives with her 18-month-old daughter Charlize and husband Anthony Bell. Landry is the middle child between an older sister and younger brother to parents Glenda and Owen, but to the Australian public she’s the bubbly personality seen in some far-flung destination on Getaway each week. After graduating from Matthew Flinders Girls Secondary College, Landry left for Melbourne to pursue modelling and a degree in public relations. Admittedly, she didn’t have aspirations growing up to be one of Australia’s most recognisable television presenters. “When I was 12 years old we visited Sea World and I was obsessed with dolphins. I found out what one of the dolphin trainers did, and he was a marine biologist. So from about 12 years old that’s exactly what I wanted to be.” Nonetheless, the crossover into television from modelling was a natural progression: “I got to a point in my mid-20s when I thought this modelling thing has been really fun, and I don’t want a nine-to-five job yet, how can I extend this?” Not long after, opportunity came knocking when Channel Seven asked her to be a presenter on Coxy’s Big Break, where her sun-kissed good looks and chemistry with the camera impressed the network executives, who quickly snapped her up for Sunrise, That’s Melbourne and the Lotto draw. But it wasn’t just Channel Seven that took notice, with Nine poaching the rising star for a presenting role on Getaway. “[When I landed the job] It was pure elation. It was a dream come true.” The self-confessed action junkie has travelled to every corner of the globe with the gig. And while it might look glamorous, and perhaps make you a little envious watching Landry stroll the sand in a bikini on an unpronounceable island, she assures that behind the scenes, it’s hard work. “I certainly worked at it and nothing has fallen on my lap. I’ve worked very hard and sacrificed a lot of things in terms of missing out on things and working 14 to 16 hours a day and working for nothing. But that’s what you do when you want to achieve something and you’re following a passion.” Work has slowed somewhat for Landry since the birth of Charlize in 2011, allowing her to enjoy the fruits of her labour. While Landry admits the “first few months were a steep learning curve”, she says she “couldn’t be happier” with her life at the moment. Landry’s voice softens as talk turns to her husband, chief executive of Bell Partners accountancy firm in landry Sydney and on BRW’s Young Rich list, who she met returns to only a few weeks after giving up her search for the geelong “as perfect man. often as [i] “I had this notion in my mind that Prince Charming is going to ride down a beach on a horse in can” a sunset. I was slowly coming to terms with the reality that doesn’t happen. I said ‘that’s it, this year I’m focusing on myself and I just want to have fun by myself and be alone …’ then three weeks later I met Anth.” Their fairytale romance provided the perfect gossip fodder for celebrity magazines, which ran stories about their engagement six months after meeting. More fuel was added to the fire when they eloped to New Zealand with 50 of their closest friends and family. Landry is unsure what the future has in store for her, and while she won’t rule out more children, for now she is enjoying every moment watching her daughter grow up. She returns to Geelong “as often as [I] can” to spend time with family and hit up local hot spots such as Sticks & Grace café on Pakington Street and Westfield Shopping Centre. A possible foray into stepping behind the camera and producing is on the cards. But while she considers her options, Landry will be gracing the screen for Getaway again this year and zipping between Geelong and Bondi. “I’m really, really lucky. I’m grateful for it every day.” \ WE WELCOME YOUR FEEDBACK @ APRIL 10, 2013 \ THE WEEKLY REVIEW 5






n this line of business you can imagine how refreshing it is to front up to a restaurant untarnished by 21st-century kit. No Thermomixes, no Pacojets, no boil-in-the-bag sous-vide machines. Sometimes you just want food that’s cooked with a little passion. Dishes prepared using senses and technique rather than switches and technology. Which is precisely what you’ll get at Rosa’s Kitchen. You might remember Rosa Mitchell. She first made waves upstairs at the city library in a compact diner, also called Rosa’s Kitchen, where she ran a tight little Italian menu comprised of whatever she’d prepared on the day. She then popped up briefly in Williamstown and now, thankfully, the diminutive Sicilian is back in business again – tucked up the top end of town in a space once known as Luccatini’s. I’ve yet to find anyone who ate at Luccatini’s but Mitchell says the interiors were pretty hideous before they came in and gutted the place. Blue carpet, apricot walls (complete with classy blue marbling effect), wooden skirts and dadoes “and lots of very bad light fittings”. The pastel excesses of the ’80s have been atoned for with a mod-Melbourne makeover of polished-concrete floors, softly glowing wall lanterns and a brick feature wall daubed with white. There’s a hint of Movida chic in the blackboard menus and the red, yellow and black timber chairs (don’t they have the same ones at Movida Aqui?), which is understandable given she’s backed by the same talent-spotters behind Movida and Pei Modern. Her return is creating quite a stir. This is a dead-end lane, so you have to assume the constant stream of curious onlookers squinting into the shopfront and peering at my lunch are not just passing by but have come specifically to see what Rosa’s up to. (Why, there’s Martin Boetz, from Longrain, his face pressed up against the glass to check out the latest competition.) There are just nine items on the menu. Very concise. Mitchell, in butcher’s apron and red bandanna, is working the tables with a ready smile and a lively patter. I’m not quite sure why she’s waiting tables when she concedes they’re short-staffed in the kitchen today (Hello? Aren’t you the chef?) but neither service nor plates seem to suffer from the arrangement. She’s already done her fair share on the food front anyway, making almost everything on the antipasto plate from the pea frittata – really just fresh green pods set in lightly seasoned egg, the simplest of things – to pickled and marinated zucchini, fried ricotta, a little barley salad. I could eat a whole plate of the fried ricotta, but then I never met a fried cheese I didn’t lust after. There’s nothing groundbreaking here; just straightforward, satisfying flavour combinations true to Mitchell’s Sicilian heritage (the aniseed hit of fennel in the salami, for instance).

the pasta’s perfectly al dente

As much as possible, she’s using fresh veggies from her farm in the central highlands – chicory, beetroot, spring onions and capsicum right now – and buying from farmers’ markets too. Herbs from Skipton, baby endive and kohlrabi from the Yarra Valley. This is the right time of year for whitebait, and a starter special of lightly floured fingerlings, crusted with sea salt and spritzed with lemon, is just the thing to lift the spirits. Especially when paired with a willing Sicilian white like the muscat-scented Gibele Zibibbo. Most of the grapes listed are Italian; at least a dozen are Sicilian. Sommelier and maitre d’ Lazlo Evenhuis can conjure appealing wine and food matches if you let him. There’s another nosey parker at the window as we’re about to tuck into a saucy-looking bowl of spaghetti with mussels. He’s eyeing off our lunch as if it’s his,

apparently mesmerised by the flirty pink mussels. Using the universal sign language of food appreciation – a combination of thumbs up and nods – he asks through the glass if the pasta’s any good. I show him my clean cutlery to indicate we haven’t even tried it yet. Now buzz off. It turns out the pasta’s perfectly al dente and delicious in its humble sauce of onion, garlic, tomato and those fleshy mussels. The highlight of the stuffed calamari tubes are the green beans on the side, crisp and garlicky. The squid itself is tender and faultless but the stuffing – oregano, tomato, onions, capers, breadcrumbs and chopped tentacles – is gluggy, dense and not entirely loveable. But it’s a rare misstep. On a subsequent visit, when the place is heaving with lunchtime diners just before Easter and three dishes have already run out, we lap up a platter of orecchiette with cauliflower, anchovy and fried garlic crumbs, and marvel at the lightness of a small casserole of eggplant parmigiana. And that supple poached veal tongue, served warm and pink with pesto potatoes, is a plate I’ll come back for. To finish, a single cannoli filled with Marsala-laced ricotta, the ends crusted with pistachio. It’s as good as the one I had in Catania a year ago, which only adds to the evidence that Rosa Mitchell hasn’t lost that light Sicilian touch, or her passion to please. \ TO READ MORE REVIEWS

Eat this ROSA’S KITCHEN, 22 PUNCH LANE, CITY Cuisine \ Italian

Chef \ Rosa Mitchell

Hip Pocket \ $50-$60 a head

Open \ Tuesday to Saturday noon-11pm



Highlights \ Soulful Sicilian food, switched-on staff Lowlights \ Get in early before dishes run out Bookings \ Yes

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CYCLING IN MELBOURNE: JOIN THE DISCUSSION If you have an interest in cycling in the City of Melbourne, you’re invited to our Bicycle Forum. When:

Wednesday 17 April 6pm to 8pm Where: Multicultural Hub 506 Elizabeth Street Melbourne To get involved RSVP to by Friday 12 April.


or the past couple of years I’ve been importers, distributors, sommeliers and making the most of the strong Aussie drinkers, one thing is clear – the Loire Valley dollar, tucking into cheap wines from and its wines are an industry secret. the major regions of France and Spain, such It’s fair to say the Loire doesn’t have the as Burgundy, Bordeaux, Rioja and the profile of France’s biggest regions, or Rhone Valley. Until recently the large plantings of what are considered LOIRE wines of another, lesser-known the “noble” grapes that include VALLEY region, the Loire Valley, have flown riesling, pinot noir, cabernet under the radar. WINES ARE AN sauvignon and merlot. Instead, I was in London recently and it’s a versatile region that makes INDUSTRY had dinner at a pub-cum-restaurant interesting, honest wines using SECRET called Green Man French Horn, lower-profile grapes. Grapes such which has an all-Loire wine list. The as cabernet franc, gamay, chenin food, such as rillettes scooped from a huge blanc and melon de Bourgogne dominate earthenware jar, was fantastic but it’s the the landscape around the winding river wines I remember most fondly. that flows into the Atlantic. Its wines are My interest piqued, a dinner soon after at characterised by bright, food-friendly acidity, Andrew McConnell’s Moon Under Water, character and high drinkability. where the cheapest wine in nearly all of the In short, the Loire’s wines are great to drink categories on the wine list comes from the and rarely require the exhaustive analysis that Loire, confirmed what’s slowly developing seems to go with expensive wines from France’s into an obsession. more posh wine regions. \ I’m not alone. After speaking to wine

The long and windy Loire At just over 1000 kilometres long, the Loire is France’s longest river, flowing north from the Alps near Ardèche to Orléans before turning west through Nantes to the Atlantic. Wine production in the Loire starts in Sancerre, just before the river reaches Orléans, and continues through the Touraine, Vouvray, Chinon, Anjou-Saumur and Muscadet regions. The grapes change as the river wends its way towards the sea. Here’s what you’ll find in a bottle from the Loire’s better-known apellations. SANCERRE \ Home to steely sauvignon blanc and reds made from pinot noir (Sancerre isn’t too far from Burgundy). TOURAINE \ A wide range of grapes are planted here: whites will be primarily chenin blanc, sauvignon blanc and chardonnay, and often blended. Reds and rosés will be made from gamay, cabernet franc, cabernet sauvignon or malbec.

VOUVRAY \ A region that makes only whites from the chenin blanc grape. These wines have the ability to live for decades. CHINON \ Most of the Loire Valley’s reds are made in and around Chinon from cabernet franc, also known as breton. Chinon produces a softer expression of cabernet franc than many other regions around the world and the wines will happily take a chill. ANJOU-SAUMUR \ Rose d’Anjou, the cheap, breezy pink from the region, is made with cabernet franc, while whites and sparkling wines will mostly be chenin blanc. The region is France’s third-largest sparkling producer. MUSCADET \ Made from the melon de Bourgogne grape that grows in vineyards near the sea, muscadet has a fresh acidity and saline character that makes a great match for oysters. “Sur Lie” on the label means the wine was bottled directly from the tank it was fermented in, without fining or filtration. \

Follow Ben on Twitter @senorthomas

What's on in the city For general information call 9658 9658 or visit

Step Off dance competition Be dazzled by the city’s youth as over 30 dance crews battle it out at the annual Step Off dance competition at the Dallas Brooks Centre, Saturday 13 April, at 6pm. Presented by Moonee Valley Youth Services and sponsored by the City of Melbourne, tickets are on sale now.

AN URBAN FOREST FOR THE FUTURE What will the trees on your street look like in the future? City of Melbourne is developing plans for the urban forest in our precincts and we want our community to get involved. Participate in one of our workshops to have your say:

Get active at Docklands Meet friends to play netball, basketball or futsal at the new multipurpose Docklands Sports Courts. This new community facility, from Places Victoria and the City of Melbourne, is a great place for Docklands workers, visitors and residents to get together.

Calling all artists to ArtPlay

To book a place at a workshop, or to join our online conversation, visit

ArtPlay is looking for artists to contribute to its dynamic program. The centre brings together artists and children (babies to 12 years) to create playful multimedia, visual arts, music and performance experiences. Expressions of interests close Saturday 13 April.

South Yarra: Saturday 20 April, 10am Central city: Saturday 4 May, 10am

The Melbourne City Council team (from left): Cr Ken Ong, Cr Beverley Pinder-Mortimer, Cr Jackie Watts, Cr Arron Wood, Lord Mayor Robert Doyle, Cr Rohan Leppert, Deputy Lord Mayor Susan Riley, Cr Stephen Mayne, Cr Richard Foster, Cr Cathy Oke, Cr Kevin Louey.


For information about programs, services, Council and committee meetings, please call 9658 9658 or visit

ONLINE ONLY » Ben Thomas’ weekly wine selections APRIL 10, 2013 \ THE WEEKLY REVIEW 7





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henever I imagine myself doing anything illegal – like throwing litter out of a car, jaywalking, streaking across the MCG, double-parking, or not declaring my purchases to Customs officials (I was once stopped at Coolangatta airport for trying to smuggle in an entire Hungarian salami for my mother) – I immediately think the following; I will be busted. Everyone will know. My face gets itchy and blotchy when I lie, everybody will be looking at me. Hundreds of people do illegal things every day, but I know they’ll catch ME. The story will be smeared across newspapers like a thousand leaking permanent markers. Bystanders will fling mud and timbers from the remnants of all the bridges I’ve burnt. The digital record of my crime will be held in secret permanent files on some floating satellite and every prospective employer, credit agency or detective in the universe will know me on sight (and smirk) for the rest of my life. The shame would kill me. Crime doesn’t pay, especially if you’re paranoid and have a persecution complex. I’m sure the local grocer’s brother-in-law is involved with the Mafia. I’ve noticed the people across the road have visitors at all hours of the night and their energy bill is very high (don’t ask). I know the bingo at my mother’s aged-care facility is fi xed. These people can get away with it, they’re strategically cunning; I’m an idiot when it comes to being bad. I’d get caught and tossed in the slammer in less time than it takes to say, “Guilty, your honour.” Where, surrounded by people who genuinely belong there, I’d be singled out and politely referred to as the ‘‘psycho’’.

THE SUPREME COURT OF VICTORIA If I ever have to get into the witness stand, the Supreme Court of Victoria would be my preferred venue. The mere sight of the building as I drive by encourages me to sit up straight and focus. It’s an imposing structure; adjacent to the Melbourne Magistrates’ Court and the County Court of Victoria, these buildings are known collectively as the Melbourne Law Courts. The feng shui here exudes order; a square block with a court positioned in each of its corners. In this precinct it’s easy to spot the unmistakable shine of legal types in black robes and wigs as they emerge from the courts to eat, wag their tongues or swing their stingers. \



when wigs, cher notwithstanding, were court in the act


This ‘‘Being-Busted’’ insecurity would explain why I’m jumpy got an around jails. I’ve performed ironic iconic stand-up comedy in old jails idea? – aware on a visceral level of email me the anguish embedded in the floorboards and stones and hoping that laughter would shift the ghosts. The Old Melbourne Gaol in Russell Street is a museum, managed since 1972 by the National Trust of Australia (Victoria). The first cell block was opened for prisoners in 1841, but frequent escapes meant the facilities were inadequate and by 1850 the jail was already crowded. The influx of bottom-feeders lured by gold in 1851 introduced a whole swag of new law-and-order problems. A new wing, with its own perimeter wall, was built between 1852 and 1854, using bluestone instead of sandstone. There are three floors of cells, many of them with information and specific details about inmates and life among some of the colony’s most hardened criminals. Between 1842 and its closure in 1929, the jail was the venue for 133 hangings, including the perfectly coiffed and bearded bushranger Ned Kelly. Dangerous criminals, petty offenders, the homeless, the mentally ill and even vagrant children were thrown into the same cells. This is a brutal, albeit fascinating, lens into our history that makes me feel a little queasy. But it’s the truth and thus it delivers a sense of the rodent-like passage we’ve come through, hopefully along the way having made constant and consistent improvements to our prison system. \



The word wig is short for periwig and first appeared in the English language about 1675 when Charles II brought this cool trend from the court of Louis XIV. Fashionistas tried to outdo each other with larger wigs – hence the term “big wig”. During this time all lawyers wore the full-bottomed wig – the spaniel look – but this was abandoned in 1740 in preference for the smaller tie-wig, which became – and still is – the hairpiece of choice for barristers. This wig has a fuzzed crown, with rows of curls known as buckles along the sides and the back and a looped tail at the rear. To date, no one has outdone Cher in the wig stakes. \

The mood shifts. The chatter fades. Anxiety levels heighten and the audience inhales. Anticipation – it’s show time! No, you’re not in the theatre; this is how a court case begins. The experiences are strikingly similar. There’s drama, pageantry and the knowledge that content and performance are of equal importance if you want to achieve the desired outcome in a courtroom, just as there is in the theatre. What a brilliant idea it was to transform the Carlton Courthouse into the Carlton Courthouse Theatre, run by La Mama. Built in 1887 by John Short to the design of architect G.B.H. Austin, the building is a single-storeyed Gothic-style structure – simple and elegant. \

Follow Rachel on Twitter @boom_berger WE WELCOME YOUR FEEDBACK @


Now available at iPhone is a registered trade mark of Apple Inc, registered in the U.S. and other countries. App Store is a service mark of Apple, Inc.





Warm Bodies \ Opens April 11, Rated M, 98 min »


It’s unusual to find a romance that begins with the hero eating his lover’s ex-boyfriend. But there is little that is usual about Warm Bodies – the world’s first zombie romantic comedy (or zomromcom, to those in the know). Set in a post-apocalyptic future, this very funny and oddly sweet film sees the undead R (Nicholas Hoult) fall in love with the very alive Julie (Teresa Palmer). Falling in love isn’t the kind of thing zombies tend to do, so this simple act sends ripples through the undead community – who prefer to shuffle and groan about an abandoned airport. Jonathan Levine’s film has great fun playing with genre expectations, so much so that it occasionally feels like a spoof. But any daftness is redeemed by its potent black humour and Hoult’s wry, self-aware narration. His R is a curious beast, learning what it means to be human again via old records (“vinyl sounds better”), while gnawing on stockpiled brains. The film’s greatest success, however, is making its impossible premise work. The absurd romance between dead boy and living girl feels convincing, without sapping agency from the heroine. They come to feel like star cross’d lovers, kept apart by their respective tribes, and it no longer matters that one is rotting. While Warm Bodies might occasionally try a little hard to be hip, any irony is balanced against a genuine sweetness. In short, it’s a movie with heart and (lots and lots of) brains. \


The second album from Melbourne duo (and former Perthites) Amy Franz and Hayley McKee is the best sort of throwback. Simple, fuzzy and fun, Crosswords is a reminder of the simple power of rock and roll. Swampy dirge Memphis is sinister and claustrophobic, Dragging the Fog is sparse and heartbroken, and opener Alligator is thrilling and raucous. Throughout, the duo offer a joyous mix of garage rock and 60s girl pop, best illustrated here by Heavy Step. Their decision to cover Smokey Robinson’s You’ve Really Got a Hold on Me – a track recently covered by retronauts She & Him – seems intended as a statement. While Zooey simpered her way through a syrupy take on the classic, this version is deliberately rough and ready. This isn’t fake-Polaroid hipster retro. If it’s retro at all, it’s in the sense that it recaptures the thrill of hearing an old song for the first time. For Super Wild Horses, the past isn’t a place to take refuge. Rock music wasn’t – and isn’t – supposed to be sweet, but raw, energising and gloriously messy. Crosswords is all of those things. \ TO READ MORE REVIEWS


Is anyone still watching this? While the first season of this David Duchovny vehicle was enjoyable enough, it’s been driving in ever-diminishing circles ever since. Now halfway through its fifth series, any potential edginess has rubbed off, leaving a grubby, salacious and not terribly funny sex comedy. In this week’s episode, Hank (Duchovny) meets a penis-obsessed lesbian, while his buddy Charlie is sleeping with his son’s nanny in his ex-wife’s bed. As you do. Essentially, it’s part soap opera, part Carry On film and part soft porn. The unlikely scenarios might provide an uncomfortable glimpse into middle-aged male fantasies, but their execution is thoroughly juvenile. You can almost hear the sniggers every time someone says “dick”. If there’s one reason to tune in, however, it’s Rob Lowe. Lowe has recently proved himself the comic highlight of Parks and Recreation and he’s on excellent form here as a faded rock star whose “tiny dancer” is kaput. But, really, you’d be better off just watching his segments on YouTube. \



Crosswords \ Super Wild Horses » superwildhorses




Californication \ 11, Mondays 10.30pm »

Assassins \ fortyfivedownstairs, 45 Flinders Lane, April 10-21, $39/$29 »

A travelling circus provides the backdrop for a dark, funny and musical guide to nine of America’s most notorious figures. Written by Stephen Sondheim and John Weidman, this classic black comedy stars men and women who have – successfully or otherwise – taken a shot at US presidents, including John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald and Sara Jane Moore. This new Australian production features an impressive array of local talent led by Nadine Garner, but the real draw is Sondheim’s score. Taking in folk, ragtime, hoedowns, Broadway ballads and barbershop quartets, this is an unusual, varied and very stylish musical from the acclaimed composer. \

Follow Myke on Twitter @mykebartlett

ATTENDING \ It’s My Party. Melbourne cabaret legends Jon Jackson and the Big Opera Company reunite for a mix of standards, with a touch of grand opera. (Chapel Off Chapel, April 11-13) LISTENING \ Wavves Afraid of Heights. Superb, self-loathing surf pop. WATCHING \ triple j’s One Night Stand. Live broadcast of concert featuring local sensations The Rubens and others. (ABC2, Sat 13, 7pm) APRIL 10, 2013 \ THE WEEKLY REVIEW 11


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potting lots of new cars lately? Car companies have lots of marketing ideas but the most effective way to get brands and products known is to have lots of them out there on the road. Car marketers have always assumed that when people keep seeing them they figure lots are being sold and thus lots of buyers like them. Now research published in the December issue of The Journal of Marketing Research backs this up. It’s why most car companies give at least some of their employees deals on cars and, depending on just how visible the company wants its products to be, these deals can be offered to senior executives only, or everyone. When I was an executive with a major car company I received a car for myself and a lease car for my wife. My car didn’t cost me anything, the company picking up the fringe benefits tax and fuel, the lease car had a monthly payment that was taken out of my an established brand with excellent pay, totalling 1 per cent of the purchase price “street presence”. of the car my wife chose. Later I worked for an emerging brand Both cars were changed for new ones at when it first hit Australia and we least once a year, sometimes three or offered lease cars to every employee. four times. Given that the company IT SAYS We wanted as many out there paid all the lease car’s running MUCH ABOUT as possible. costs except fuel (yep, it paid the But in all my years in and around insurance, rego, servicing, parts – it THE US CAR the industry I’ve never heard of a even replaced all the wheels and MARKET deal as generous as that being offered tyres when they were stolen one to employees of Volkswagen in the US. night, the car left sitting on stacks The Washington Post reported that of bricks) this was a top deal. But it only the company offers lease cars (at a monthly applied to executives because this was

payment of 1.5 per cent of the purchase price) to all employees, their spouses, children, parents and spouse’s parents. That means employees with a couple of driving-age kids could have up to eight company cars out and about, all of them being changed at least annually. It says much about the dismal state of the American car market. So what happens to all these cars when the company takes them back? I can’t speak for the US but locally they’re usually auctioned to the brand’s dealers. They’re then sold either as company demonstrators or used cars. It’s

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283 City Road

PERFECT FIRST HOME OR INVESTMENT • Cnr of La Trobe St and Spencer St • Opposite to Southern Cross Station • Free city circle trams nearby • Short stroll to Flagstaff Garden & uni • Studio apartment with balcony • With uninterrupted water view • Modern bathroom with laundry facility • Kitchen with stone bench top • Security foyer, gym, sauna & pool

GREAT VALUE CAN’T MISS OUT! • Fabulous 2-BR apt only 4km from CBD • Smart designed family bathroom • Approximately 55 sqm + 9sqm balcony • One car space on title • Shops & restaurants at ground floor • Public transport in front of building • A few steps walking to parks • The best investment option • Currently leased at $380 per week

ROCK SOLID THE BANK INVESTMENT • In the popular ‘The Bank’ complex • Enjoy the ultimate inner city lifestyle • Stylish design & convenient location • Spacious open plan living & dining area • Large bedrms with built in wardrobes • Modern kitchen with S/S appliances • Central bathroom with laundry facilities • Indoor swimming pool & BBQ area • 2-br with 1 car space also available

PRIVATE SALE $169,000 Andy Wang 0431 250 538

PRIVATE SALE $255,000 Sophia Zhu 0433 962 828

PRIVATE SALE $358,000 Sophia Zhu 0433 962 828

PRIVATE SALE $495,000+ Chelsea Zhang 0402 278 927



288 Spencer Street

THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT MOTORING: Carburettors, electric starter motors and windscreen wipers were all invented by women.

ABSOLUTELY THE CHEAPEST!!! • Cnr of Flinders St & Swanston St • Opposite to Flinders Train Station • Trams are in the front of building • Close to universities and libraries • Mins to Yarra River & Crown complex • Kitchen with microwave and fridge • Apartment with bed, desk, chair & TV • Secured entry in building • Roof top terrace, coin laundry & gym

620 Collins Street



Sat 11:45-12:15am

455 elizabeth st 03 9326 9977

an expensive exercise but as a marketing tool it’s a proven winner. It’s also why jobs in car companies are hard to get. So when you notice lots of new models running around don’t assume the drivers are smiling because they love the car. They might just love the deal they’re getting. \








Sat 10:30-11:00am

22-24 Jane Bell Lane

2 BEDDER IN LIBERTY TOWER • Cnr of Collins St & Spencer St • Tram stops right across the road • Yarra River & harbor nearby • North-facing corner position • Spacious living with balcony • Bathroom with laundry facilities • Kitchen with S/S bench top • Double basin/ample storage space • Currently leased at $530 per week

THE LOCATION THE SIZE & THE PRICE • Sweeping city and bay views • 2 double bedrooms with BIR • Kitchen with Blanco appliances • Large terrace with iconic views • Secure off-street car space • Rooftop pool and gym facilities • Security video entrance • Split system heating/ cooling • Outstanding value for money

RARE FIND!!! CORNER 2 BR APT • In most sought-after CBD location • With all shops & transport at door step • Sacious cnr apt bathed in natural light • Large kitchen with granite bench-top • Fully equipped S/S appliances • Sparkling bathrm with dual access • 1 undercover secure car park • Top floor swimming pool and gym • Inspection is a must. Don’t miss it!

PRIVATE SALE $518,000 Sophia Zhu 0433 962 828

PRIVATE SALE P.O.A Annabelle Feng 0409 384 144

PRIVATE SALE $666,000 Annabelle Feng 0409 384 144








7 Yarra Street






5 Caravel Lane

Sat 01:15-01:45pm Wed 05:15-05:45pm

UNINTERRUPTED WATER VIEW FOREVER! • Sought-after‘Boyd’residential complex • Enjoy coffee on your private balcony • Spectacular views of Docklands • Immaculately presented 3-bedrm apt • Large entertaining & lounge area • Main bedroom with walk-in wardrobe • Onsite care taker • Security entry, gym and pool • Two car spaces on title






PRIVATE SALE $910,000 Ted Jao 0419 338 068



Organise ORGANISE A Review Local Advertising Feature

Help when you need it Community Care Calvary Silver Circle is a not for profit organisation providing care and support services for those who need assistance. • • • • • • •

Personal Care Home Care Social Support / Companionship Respite Care Transport Assistance 24 Hour & Overnight Care Home Safe - Home Maintenance & Modifications • Home Alert - 24hr Personal Emergency Monitoring • Information & Advisory Service

Call 1300 66 00 22


328 Flinders Street Melbourne, Victoria, 3000 Tel: (03) 9250 1888 | Fax: (03) 9250 1880 adelaide | auckland | brisbane | melbourne | port douglas | perth | shanghai | singapore | sydney


In the tradition of The Sisters of The Little Company of Mary, with the values of hospitality, healing, stewardship and respect


Bedi’s Restaurant 118 Park Street, South Melbourne 3205 9690 8233

Authentic Cantonese Cuisine

Lunchtime Yum Cha Fresh Seafood Every Day! Quick service pre show dinner A La Carte and Banquet Menus

FREE DELIVERY* Order over $35 from our menu and we’ll deliver to your building’s door step for FREE. Orders can be placed from 10am and available for delivery from 12pm to 2pm Monday to Friday. St Kilda Rd, City Rd, Queens Rd, Albert Rd, Wells St, Dorcas St, Park St and Bank St locations only. Delivery fee for all other areas. *Orders must be placed by phone on 03 9690 8233 or the delivery fee for orders online will be charged. For more information, visit the website:

FREE * DELIVERY (Lunch Only)


Open 7 Days Shark Fin House 131 Little Bourke St, Shark Fin Inn 50 Little Bourke St,



Ph: 9663 1555 Ph: 9662 2681 “Quality Service” G5938333AA-dc11Apr

REVIEW CLASSIFIEDS 13 24 25 Adult Services

Ladies for Gentlemen Mid Week Special! Sunday to Thursday


Adult Services

Ladies welcomed

KIM - Mature 40yo escort. Stunning DD fullness. Always happy to please... 9935 7653. swa4281be

9429 8242

LOTUS EXOTIC ESCORT I Luv you longtime. Tiny size 8 figure, pleasurable. I can do body rubs too. 9935 7738 swa4281be.

339 Punt Road Richmond swa1061be


466 City Rd, South Melbourne


TIFFANY RELAXATION In CBD for gents and ladies. Appointment only. 7 days. Hours: 10am - 7pm. Please phone 0403 668 381.

Ingrid: OMG! Tall, slim & so busty. Tammy: Fun, fit, busty & athletic. Madison: Cutey Pie Size 8, petite & brunette. Amani: Sexy exotic, smooth operator. Penny: 21yo tall, busty blonde Goddess! and many more new ladies

554-556 Swanston St, 554 - 556 Swanston Carlton St, Carlton

Ph: 9347 9347G5924526AA-dc10Apr 6000 Ph: 6000


24hrs/7 days

The best way to view Body Rubs what’s on the market G5875869AA-dc20Mar

Beautiful BIANCA Escort Slender & Busty 35yo. A classy tall model type. Can visit you daytimes. 9416 6243 swa4281be. Cougar Ladies The best of 30's, 40's & 50yo. We're eager to please & a total tease Ph: 9495 2738 swa4281be


9696 9199

✩ ◆ Jade ◆ ✩

Naughty at 40, busty brunette. Warm and affectionate. 0459 683 745 swa3453xe.

For all your Classified advertising contact us on

13 24 25

Beautiful NEW Hot Ladies.... Plus your usual favorites.

We speak Korean, Thai, Phil, Chinese, English, Vietnamese.

24 Buchanan Rd, Brooklyn


Relaxation Full Body Care With great people & the best facilities.


21 Thomas St,Yarraville


9315 2922

Ladies Welcome Non-sexual



9314 8800


f of ng 0 oki $2 bo r 1h

It’s Fun Time..... With....



To deliver papers and brochures in Manor Lakes, Wyndham Vale, Point Cook, Werribee, Hoppers Crossing, Altona Meadows and Seabrook.

To join our small friendly team. Must be honest, reliable, motivated & preferably have some aircon experience. Lots of variety including on site, mobile, heavy machinery, forklifts & air conditioning. Excellent package for the right applicant. Ph 9743 2336 or email:

✆ Dianne 0417 129 040


9328 5581

• Traditional Thai • Deep tissue • Foot • Relaxation • Remedial Qualified Thai Females 7 days, 10am - 10pm

EXPERIENCED HC DRIVERS Construction Company based in Little River require licenced and experienced: ● Float/Heavy Haulage

9486 8887

Deluxe Thai Massage

Mechanic Seeking a qualified Mechanic in the Maribyrnong area, uniform supplied. Impressive and outstanding workingg conditions.

● Semi Tipper Operators

Only experienced drivers with Red Card and appropriate licences need apply. Please send application to:

13 Chapel Street, Windsor

9510 6768

Fax 5283 1779 G5929962

Apprentice Horticulturist APL is looking for a motivated and reliable person to join our team as an apprentice horticulturist. Our business will offer you much variation of work from maintenance to commercial aspects of landscape. Our team strives to be the best we can and learn and grow together so no one gets left behind. If you believe you have the respect and willingness to join our highly qualified team.

Please email your resume to Drivers Licence required G5929985

Massage Therapy

For The Weekly Review City are as follows:

Relaxation. 305 Queensberry St, North Melbourne. 7 days. Telephone: 9077 7620.


Work Wanted

TRUCK DRIVER REQUIRED For expanding business in the western suburbs Must have experience in truck & dog

Monday 1.00pm Monday 3.00pm

8.30am-5.00pm, Monday - Friday. All major credit cards accepted. G5910758

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL ADVERTISERS The Competition and Consumer Act provides that advertised prices for goods and services which attract GST should be GST inclusive. Prices should not be quoted as being 'excluding GST' or 'plus GST' or by the use of words or phrases conveying similar meaning. Readers are entitled to expect that the advertised prices are the actual prices at which they can purchase the particular goods and services. Metro Media Publishing will not knowingly accept for publication any advertisement which may be in breach of the Competition and Consumer Act or any other relevant law.

Fully Qualified Auto Electrician

Please call Sab 0410 318 310 or email G5929973

Phone 13 24 25

HouseBoy 0406 600 008 SWA5778xe IMOGEN - Hot, hot, hot. Ex swimsuit model. 32yo size 8. Tall, toned, busty and blonde. I visit you. 9495 2723 swa4281be

373 St Georges Rd Fitzroy North

LOLILOVE MASSAGE Open 7 days. Young & new girls. 180 Toorak Road, South Yarra. Phone: 03 9939 6198 or 0435 888 887.

Public Notices

Proof deadline: All Classifieds:

45-47 Tope Street, South Melbourne SWA5109BE

9690 4888

Open 7 days, 10am-9pm. Shop 4a, 108 Bourke Street, Paramount Centre. Phone 9972 8305.

dokument Specialising in CAD services for Architects and Builders: • Contract dra ing ongoing or temp assignments • Residen al, commercial, interiors and industrial • 10 years experience Mobile: 0414 179 936 ABN 99 071 368 160

Situations Vacant

Western Suburbs Location We are currently seeking an experienced

142-144 Frankston-Dandenong Rd, Dandenong 3175

Also semi tipping applications Above award wages & conditions for suitable applicant EMAIL RESUME TO G5929934AA-dc9Apr




Adult Services

Tired, Stressed or Run Down? Our Qualified Staff Can Help. Simply Ring to Make a Booking. 7 Days, 10am – 10pm 37 Flemington Rd North Melbourne

Chinese Massage New Opening

Very Busy Parlor Young(18+) hotties, sexy cougars. In western suburbs 9369 0600. swa6318be.

Anya - adventurous escort. 21yo, tight sz 8, Raven black hair, ex-dancer. Avail most daytimes call 9495 2768 swa4281be.

Traditional Thai, relaxation with oil, foot massage and deep tissue. Qualified Thai females. Open 7 days. 10am-10pm 221 Clarendon Street South Melbourne

146 Rosebank Avenue. Clayton South, 0410 680 558. Level 1, 685 Centre Road. Bentleigh East, 0451 174 946.


ORIENTAL MASSAGE High quality service and low price. 47 Dickson Street, Sunshine. Call 9311 9994. 259 Ballarat Road, Footscray. Call 8307 0114.


Massage Therapy

Walkers Wanted

Therapy and relaxtion massage. 9606 0850. 10 Aquitania Way, Docklands. Open 7 days.


Need A Massage ?

PH - 1300 ESCORT

One Healthy Habit Massage


Adult Phone Talk

1 Hour = $200 !!

(03) 9696 4666

7 days, 10am to 8pm. 204 Barkley Street, Footscray. Phone 9689 0360.



Relaxation Massage

6/180 Commercial Rd, (enter Izett St) Prahran. Appt only. Ph 9533 8877.


9326 8388

EUROPEAN MASSAGE In convenient central city location. Please phone Julia: 0417 506 582.


Discreet Rear Parking (via lane way) CREDIT CARD & EFTPOS WELCOME Ladies Warmly Welcomed Mel ref P43 B1 / Tram 57 Stop 22 77 Race Course Road, North Melbourne

Situations Vacant



Affordable Prices From $65

Massage Therapy MIDDLE PARK Massage. 7 days. From $40. Qualified, experienced, caring and thorough. Full body massage. Matt: 0412 045 585.


SWA6143B SWA6144B G5875764AA-dc20Mar


A ULTIMATE Pleasure. Body-soul relaxation, prof sports massage, sciatica, back pain relief. European exp. Michelle: 0431 442 956. G5876075AA-dc20Mar

FAR EASTERN RELAXATION Now With More Young, Beautiful, Exotic, Friendly Ladies


Trades & Services

Health and Wellbeing

Fully qualified Accountant, with advanced MYOB knowledge

Please call Vesco 0419 012 592 G5930004

To advertise or place your wedding photo in this section contact one of our friendly staff on

13 24 25 APRIL 10, 2013 \ THE WEEKLY REVIEW 15


234-236 Auburn Road, Hawthorn

Ph 9815 2166

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