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ISSUE tWO MAY 2014


Contributors

L - R: C.Logan, G.Easton, L.Wallace, J.Cakes, J.Innes, D.Gendall, J.Marsh, K.Andrews, M.McPadden, S.Young, A.Tait, E.Fitness, M.Hancock, R.Mearns Illustrations: James Marsh


Illustration: Max Hancock

Hi there.

Welcome to the second edition of wee Wellington-based zine, The Warbler. Issue no. 2 is all about looking twice. In the blustery city, sometimes it takes a second glance to spot what’s there; murals down a side alley, intricate architecture sitting atop scrappy shopfronts, or crazy-good coffee under a carpark. In this edition, Jonny Cakes makes a cuppa that’s not all it seems; a couple of tunesters muse on music; master of the double-take, Mika Eureka, talks magic; and Andy invites us to a Stag Do to think twice about attending. Keep two eyes open for Kim’s incredible foldable illustration, James’ tricky pics, Rory’s snapshots of Wellington, and a whole lot more. Thanks for reading.

Sophie Young Editor

thewarblerzine@gmail.com All other illustrations by Kimberly Andrews

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image: Rory Mearns


stag don't Andrew Tait You are hereby invited to Tim Tillman’s Stag-do.

and if previous experience has taught me anything, it will prove difficult for tour organisers (not to mention Molloy) to pry people from the rural bars and onto the bus.

He’s getting married to Polly Hicks soon, and while we’re all happy for him and that sorta thing, this message relates to more important news. Stag do! It is socially acceptable to use this marriage as an opportunity to embarrass and belittle Tim while engaging in a wild hedonistic bender. You’d be crazy to miss this.

Once we are back in Wellington, the party will continue on to Tokyo Tea House on Courtenay Place, where Terry Serepisos will join our group in admiring the chopsticks on the wall. In all likelihood, the night will continue to a local gentleman’s establishment where we will financially coerce woman into showing us their breasts.

It’s scheduled to take place on the 19th of May, and while the invitation says to meet at the Wellington Train station, don’t worry, we’re not holding it at Trax. We’re paying money to this nerd called Molloy, and we’re going to make him drive us (in a bus) early morning from Wellington, over the Rimutaka’s, through the Wairarapa to Palmy, and then home down State Highway 1. All the while stopping periodically in such rural New Zealand hotspots as Greytown, Eketahuna and Peka Peka.

Fundamentally, this is going to be an alcohol binge, but all manner of self-expression is acceptable (and welcomed) so do not limit the scope of your potential behaviours. Clearly this has been arranged to ensure the majority of us are ‘playing away games’, providing a broad platform for us to experiment with unorthodox and socially repugnant acts, while maintaining the more conventional reputations that we have worked hard to foster within Wellington.

While Mark Lundy could complete this round trip in a touch under two hours, I would anticipate that ours might clock in over the 14 hour mark. Why so long? Each stop will include challenges and gags,

More specific details to follow.

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TWO TIMES PETONE Gemma Easton

One house, one family, 52 years of memories in Petone.

The following are June’s thoughts on her time in Petone, as written in her notepad.

In 2011 I bought the house that my Grandma, June Harris, had lived in for 50 years. Petone was becoming a very sought-after place to live. This trendy, growing village with a solid café culture was, I realised, worlds apart from the industrial war town my Grandma had bought into half a century earlier.

1961 - Buying a family home in Petone from my mother in law’s aunty’s family who built the house in Manchester Street in 1902. We shopped at the end of the street where there was a self-help grocery, a green grocer, two dairies, a butcher, and a fish and chip shop. We even had a paint factory in our street which burnt down later and Housing Corp built flats on the vacant section. Wilford School was five minutes away.

I asked Grandma to share some of her memories of living in Petone and the changes it saw.

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We had friendly neighbours and I joined the Methodist church with son Graham (3) and daughter Marion (1) and husband Dave. I cycled around. We didn’t own a car until 1965. I biked everywhere until I moved to Hutt Central in 2011 – parking a bike is much easier than parking a car! Another memory is the Maungaraki development, bulldozers levelling and housing built. It was noisy. Grandchildren have been special for me during their school years. I would pick them up from Hutt Central, Intermediate and High School and now I am so proud of all their achievements and appreciate them caring for me. Petone has changed from being an unpopular war town to live in, to a ‘go to’ town with many restaurants and a busy

shopping centre. The beach has not changed but replacing the Gear Meat Co premises [pictured above]with motels, business’ and classy homes has been beneficial. Favourite places are Hokoikoi Reserve, Petone Rec and Memorial Park where Te Omanga plaques for my husband and daughter are featured. Spent 12 years (1970-82) as clerk telephonist at General Plastics in Plunket Ave and also worked for Dr Perera from 1987-1990, when I began caring for granddaughter Ainslie. When both Gemma and Ainslie attended Otago University I wrote to them weekly and posted the letters in the post box on the corner of Manchester and William Street until it was removed after 50 years. I was ‘on air’ on National Radio complaining.

Petone has evolved over 52 years into a sought-after area with cafes, restaurants and boutique shops that people come from all over the Wellington region to visit. It might not look as it did when June Harris lived there (the dairy, grocer and fish and chip shop at the end of the street have all closed down) but Petone’s streets continue to hold great history. I hope I’ll have similar memories to jot down - maybe on an ipad rather than in a note pad - in another 50 years’ time.

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Jonny Cakes Bakes

flat what?! In this second instalment, Jonny Cakes - the bloke who bakes cranks his culinary skills up a notch, brewing up a cup of coffee like you’ve never seen before.

Ingredients 290g good quality dark cooking chocolate 4 free-range eggs Instant coffee dissolved in 1 tsp of hot water 100ml cream 3 tbsp icing sugar Liqueur at your discretion. This recipe sounds a lot harder than it really is. The benefit here is when it’s your turn in the neighbourhood edition of My Kitchen Rules or you’ve finally plucked up the courage to cook for your hot date, this recipe adds phwooar without the faff. Perfect!

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method: Chocolate Cups

Melt some chocolate in the microwave, check and stir regularly. Then with a basting brush, line the inside of a silicon muffin tray with chocolate and cool (in fridge or freezer). Once cool, brush on another layer of chocolate and repeat this until you think there is a sufficient chocolately build-up.

Chocolate Handle

This is the tricky delicate part. You want to create the handle for your chocolate cup on some baking paper. I drew an outline on the paper first and then used my crafty flatmate’s art brush to fill in the stencil with melted chocolate. I then froze this and built up the size of the handle until it was strong and sturdy. Then, using melted chocolate and craftyflatty’s brush, I attached the handle to the chocolate cup.

Coffee Mousse

Melt 150g of chocolate. Separate 3 of the eggs, whisk the egg yolks with the final whole egg and add the coffee before beating into the melted chocolate. I also added some Kahlua to this coffee/egg mixture. You can leave that out or freestyle however much liqueur you want. In a clean bowl, whisk the 3 remaining egg whites to soft peaks. Fold into the chocolate mix until evenly combined. Spoon into you chocolate cups two thirds of the way up and cool for 90 minutes or so.

Plating up

Whip the cream and the icing sugar together. I put more Kahlua into the cream first. What can I say, I like my sweets a little boozy. Top up the rest of the cups with the whipped cream. Grate any remaining chocolate over the cream to give it the final shazam. Drink up!

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Reflect a little

James Innes

These photos are from a lake near Squamish, BC, Canada. Look twice and contemplate some things. What comes to mind? Which side is real and which is water? Who is looking back at you? I don't care if Rorschach tests are outdated. Unleash your subconscious and face your demons!

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image: James Innes


espresso stories

On the path home Whisky-stained brain barefoot, heels in hand. Ahead: cuts of cracked china shards point-up on the concrete. Tip-toed trepidation towards cream-coloured petals, fallen from an overhead magnolia.

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espresso stories continuted

Zucchini. Planting season. Dirt, water, sun, grow, grow, dirt, water, sun, grow. Too slow to pick, now there is marrow.

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image: James Innes


Sophie talks magic with

mika eureka

aka Mika Denham, magician, AGE 12 For my first trick I got a card trick book from my great granny two Christmases ago, but I really started getting into magic around July last year. Mika Eureka was a nickname at school and it sounded sort of magical so I adopted it as my stage name.

in the Magic Club. Some closeup magicians, children’s magicians, and stage magicians. I’d like to do stage stuff but I really enjoy close up too. A card trick would be close up but anything that you don’t need the audience to interact with is stage magic. Master magicians My favourite magicians would have to be Penn & Teller, two American stage magicians. I used to love those guys like Dynamo on TV until I found out they use camera tricks and actors, so I like the more legitimate ones now. My favourite trick is animal balloon swallowing. You blow up a huge balloon, make it into an animal, and swallow it. The trick I would most like to be able to do is probably some sort of levitation trick, or a big stage illusion, like sawing someone in half.

The locals The Wellington Magic Club has only been going just over a year. The leader of the magic club runs Magic and More the website. They put on shows and share tricks. When you join you have to sign a sheet that says you can’t tell anyone how you do your ticks, but you can talk about it among yourselves. I’ve learnt heaps since I started. Before that I’d use books, DVDs and Youtube is always a good one to learn tricks. The magic community in Wellington is still small, we’re trying to grow. Everyone in the Magic Club wants to get more people and more shows. There’s a lot of different styles

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Stage persona There’s lots of styles you can have – you can have a nervous, wavery sort of personality where you doubt yourself and then somehow wow them, or you can be really confident and smash through it. I think for me it depends what mood I’m in. If I’m hyped up I’m definitely the more confident person, but normally I’m just myself.

Be magic My best advice for learning magic is practice, but practice on other people because if you just practice yourself you won’t know how it looks to others. I practice with my family and friends at school. I practice about half an hour a day, mostly with cards. You can practice in the car, watching a movie, pretty much anywhere.

Hey presto! I would definitely like to do a stage show. I have a routine prepared, or being prepared. It’s a five to 10 minute routine. It definitely takes a long time to prepare. Everything needs a purpose. So for one of my tricks you have a scarf, you tie a knot in the scarf, then you turn the knot into a ball. If you just turned the knot into a ball there’s no point, right? So before that, I make a cane appear, and then I screw the ball into the top of the cane. There’s no point just producing things or making stuff disappear, you have to have a reason for it – a connection between the different parts.

For people in Wellington, the Magic Club would be a good start – there’s a magic library where you can get out books and DVDs out and everyone there is really willing to help you out. The best thing about doing magic is the reactions from people when you’ve landed a really good trick on them. Check out Mika Eureka’s website http://mikaeureka. weebly.com/. For information on the Wellington Magic Club, see http://www. wellingtonmagic.org.nz/

Tools of the trade The most important thing a magician should have is cards, you can do so many tricks with them. I get most of my equipment from Magic and More, but sometimes you use ordinary things and modify them...I probably shouldn’t reveal too much!

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Don't think twice. it's alright. Dave Gendall

Honey, fix me a sandwich wouldya? You know ma shows on soon now dontcha? I dunno why you watch that stupid show for anyway. Shutup, I dont know why you read 'em damn books for anyway, you think you’re gonna be the President or som'n? Well honey its funny you mention it, coz you know how they reckon Oswald knocked him off, I reckon it was some other fella. Maybe if I found out who really did it, they'd make me President, whatchu reckon? You're crazy, ma shows startin', and anyway that was last cent'ry, I dunno why you give a damn. Things just 'aint addin' up honey, I tellya theres a war going on. They just make us so stupid that we d'aint ask no more questions no more, its like a silent war or som'n. Whatchu mean a god-damned silent war? Well, there's this fella who reckons they make these illusions to separate, and control us. It’s everywhere you look ‘round, but we just don’t know it. Imagine you the President, you got all these friends and newspapers, and stuff on the in’ernet, you could do anyth’n. Okay gimme the remote now, I’m done with your crazy talk. You know what else, I been wonder’n who was driv’n ‘em planes into ‘em buildin’s. Yeep, I know for a fact there wasn’t enough diesel in ‘em engines to get hot enough to melt ‘em pillars; all the defence systems were turned off that day too; they even practiced what happened; FBI build’n dropped like a penny before the others; I even heard some fella say ‘pull it’ on a video. Did you see the size of the hole in the Pentagon? Its funny you know honey, coz we sold ‘em Arabs guns n stuff before it happened, and then we just roll on in ‘ere with our tanks and even though they say no-one wins a war,someone’s gotta be winn’n som’in. Alright, my shows getting started, and you rabbit’n on, whatchu trying to pull? Just say’in things ‘aint add’in up honey. They making us so stupid that we almost not human anymore. They gave us the in’ernet, gladiators and stuff, and we just got too full of ourselves, that we forgot how to be to one ‘nother. And ‘coz we lost our way, they can control how we think. They even give us democracy so the fellas who wanna say something think they be get’n heard. Okay, Kim and the girls are on, shut up now. Just saying honey, look twice.

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image: Rory Mearns


I want to ride my bicycle THE SECOND INSTALMENT Eleanor Fitness

[After]

[Before]

Following through with my re-cycling plan, the first thing I did was clean up the chrome. I found an old remedy to remove the rust which involved rubbing the rust with lemon juice and tinfoil. I was skeptical, so I tried it out on the rusty metal parts of the toilet seat. It worked a treat. My flatmate had claimed the seat to be “broken�, and later, after I had cleaned it up, asked if I had replaced it. This confirmed my own analysis of the lemon tinfoil treatment.

After taking the bike apart (remember to take heaps of photos so you know how to put it back together later), on a hungover sunday listening to Bob Dylan, I proceeded to use this lemon juice and tinfoil method. I chucked a bunch of the smaller pieces into the lemon and some into pepsi (coke is better but I had none on hand). Both products lifted a lot of the rust easily without scrubbing.

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Some parts had rusted so badly that a matted corrosion had formed with the nuts and bolts, so much so that I couldn’t undo them from the frame of the bike. I wrapped these with rags soaked in pepsi and left them to loosen for a couple of nights. If you find you still can’t remove them, find someone stronger

than you are to help you. Once I had created a rust free bicycle, I wiped the parts down with a clean cloth dipped in warm and soapy water, then a clean dry cloth. It’s now ready to apply chrome paint where needed. (You can buy chrome spray paint from the warehouse or your local hardware shop).

Things to do: Fix the bell Fix the light Paint the frame New stickers Handles Seat New pedals Re-construct the bike Attach the cables New tyres

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in conversation with your neck I know I’m supposed to be in love with you but as you are lying back on your elbow under the vines talking talking your mouth moving like a hungry shark it’s all silent to me and all I can see are those creases in your neck why are they there and so many you are young and now that we are no longer supposed to be in love I love those creases they make me happy to think of and are really all I think of that strange and ugly stack of creases those creases they are speaking to me

Louise Wallace

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image: Rory Mearns


LISTEN

TUUUUUUUUNE… Matt McPadden

MOBB DEEP - The Infamous (1995) Mobb Deep are bangin’. That simple 808 beat with the eighthnote high-hat – it’s just so raw. I only just discovered this album, after falling deeper down the 90s East Coast hip-hop rabbit hole of late, but it’s easy to hear that the grimy flow on offer from Havoc and Prodigy is no doubt on par with their New York peers Nas, Notorious B.I.G. and Wu-Tang Clan. This is straight up thugged-out hip hop yo; for those that prefer poppin’ caps to poppin’ tags. Standout Tune: ‘Shook Ones Pt.II’ DELANEY DAVIDSON AND MARLON WILLIAMS - Sad But True Vol.1 - The Secret History of Country Music Songwriting (2012) Who in their right mind doesn’t dig country? Banjo, harmonica, songs of desperation and loneliness – it has it all. This is the first duel offering from Delaney & Marlon – Delaney the wily ol’ seasoned veteran and Marlon the young protégé. The swaying steel pedal guitar and honky-tonk piano is just the antidote for the urban desperado, so if you’re yearning for some truthseeking, love-lorn, foot-stomping stories, it doesn’t come much better than the high priests of Kiwi Americana. Standout Tune: ‘How Lucky’ SAN CISCO - San Cisco (2013) I can be a sucker for cheesy, well-crafted indie pop. San Cisco’s debut number is no exception. This album is full of classic “clap your hands and say yeah!” tunes, with jangly guitars and bubbly vocals galore. It is a showcase for the boygirl harmony shtick, with bright, effervescent and sugar-coated choruses. I shouldn’t like this. But I do. Standout Tune: ‘Fred Astaire’ BLACK JOE LEWIS & THE HONEYBEARS - Scandalous (2011) I’m a bluesman. So it’s refreshing in an age where music is dominated by effects and autotune, to hear a band with a roughand-tumble frontman howling away and playing three chords. Scandalous sounds like a sky full of lightning – the scratchy guitar and deep, funky horns makes the whole affair feel like its pulsing with surges of electricity. This is a blues album for the 21st Century. No doubt about that. Standout Tune: ‘Since I Met You Baby’ MICHAEL KIWUNAKA - Home Again (2012) These are prime ‘reading-the-paper-whilst-drinking-a-cuppaon-Sunday-morn’ listening tunes. It’s way more easy listening than The Breeze. One would be forgiven for mistaking this for a posthumous piece from Otis Redding, with its sepia tones and neo-soul vibe coming through in spades. It tends to be something of a slow burner – warm and understated – with the fluttering flute and subtle cymbals coming to the fore over time. I take my tea ‘milk no sugar’please. Standout Tune: ‘Home Again’

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UP

Read About Your Band In Some Local Page Cam Logan

Ragtag UK music publication/website/tabloid, New Music Weekly (NME) has never been a particularly reliable source of music news or reviews, so when they released their odd-timed ‘500 Greatest Albums’ list recently, they had their biggest time in the sun since Morrissey attempted to sue them. The publicity stunt showcased that Brit Pop was a big hit, Bowie was trendy again and bush-league British albums were far too frequent. A thousand talking points could arise, but it was noticeable that American underground bands of the 1980s were clearly shunned. Our band could be your life? Not to the creators of this list. ‘You’re Living All Over Me’ and ‘Bug’ by ear-bleeding shredders, Dinosaur Jr., ignored when their influence on the 11th ranked album, Nirvana’s Nevermind, is immense. The same could be said for ‘Meat Puppets II’ and ‘Up On The Sun’ by cowpunks, the Meat Puppets. The Feelies’ jangly indie pop full-lengths ‘Crazy Rhythms’ and ‘The Good Earth’ are as vibrant as anything The Smiths did, and let’s face it, 99.9% of the artists on this list never had the energy, ambition or audacity to write a 46-track opus like The Minutemen’s ‘Double Nickels On The Dime’. Surely the Twin Cities are represented in fine fashion by this list, through Minneapolis’ The Replacements and Saint Paul’s Hüsker Dü. The rock capital of the world (circa late 1984) must dominate with ‘Let It Be’, ‘Tim’ and ‘Pleased To Meet Me’ (Replacements) or ‘Zen Arcade’ and ‘New Day Rising’ (Hüsker Dü)? What … nothing? NME – It’s not funny anymore. Black Flag’s ‘Damaged’ and Dead Kennedys’ ‘Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables’ are present, but it smells of a desperate attempt for scene cred by selecting the two most well-known hardcore albums of the 1980s. Sure, these bands are a little left of the dial, but amazing nevertheless. These Yanks demand a first listen, a second chance or just a ‘History Lesson Part 2’, because NME, “This is Bob Dylan to me!”

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