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This Month in The Vent

The Vent Magazine is a division of The Vent. The January 2011 4..........................Wake Up Corpus Christi & SCABBY on the Newy Year Vent is an organization devoted to enriching Cor5........................................................................................Letters to the Ed pus Christi through Print, Television, Film, Comedy and Music. Send all comments, and letters to: 6 ....,,,,,,,,,,,,VENT NEWS: Man Steal Katia’s Personality... 10 Years Ago The Vent: 361-549-6213 7.....VENT NEWS: Marketing Experts Criticize Local Wedding Proposal 8.............................................................Bad Advice with Jay Whitecotton Publisher / Creative Director: William Henneberger 9............................VENT NEWS: Company Offers Managing Editor: Michael Henneberger .......................Free Mustache Rides on New Year’s Contributing Writers: Michael Henneberger 10..........Corpus Christi Mandatory Event Calendar Jay Whitecotton William Henneberger Ken Affleck 12...............................Vent Comedy Club Calendar Zombie Art by: Russell Tippit 13........STEREO TYPE: South Texas Band Review The Vent Disclaimer: The Vent is a satirical ...........................................Part 4: The Scarlet Band publication and is not intended for readers under 18 14.............................STEREO TYPE: 2010 Review years of age. The Vent uses invented names in all of its ....................................................Music To My Year stories, except in cases when public figures are being 16..............................STEREO TYPE: Road Trip - satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental .........................................Austin City Limits Part 3 and coincidental. Any statements made, expressed or 18................................. No Sex and the Small Town implied in The Vent are solely those of columnists and do not represent the position of our advertisers, who do not accept responsibility for such statements. All characters products, & photos published in The Vent are trademark and © of their respective owners. V



the Entourage



Wake Up and Get Plenty of Bed Rest I’m not sure which of you ladies was the one who passed this terrible cold my way, but you are responsible for the worst week of my life. Thus this issue you don’t get a wake up article, but please continue on and see what Scabby has planned for 2011, and what Mike could remember from 2010. Love, Will Vent



SCABBY on the New Year Resolution #1 Try Not To Bleed As Much This one is just common sense, but believe it or not, I do seem to have a problem when it comes to seeping blood from any and/or every hole on my body. I thought that when I went through menopause my lady cake would stop bleeding, but in my line of work, no such luck. Resolution #2 Throw Less Bricks Through Less Glass I’ve never been described as calm and collective, clammy and infected maybe, but the truth is that I lose my sh*t quite easily. If I feel like you shorted me or if you start being rude and saying stuff like, “whats that smell”, or “hey, there’s a French fry in your hair”, or “Jesus Christ, whats is that smell”… I will find the nearest brick and toss it at the nearest glass I can find, usually the windshield of your Astrovan. Resolution #3 Finish and paten that invention I’ve been working on. For obvious reasons, I can’t be specific on this one, but suffice it to say that we have all been in a situation where you needed to give more than two HJ’s but only have two hands… well, soon that will be a problem of the past. Resolution #4 Be More Punctual This one is self explanatory. Resolution #5 Lose 60 Pounds. This one is probably the easiest of all, I just have to hit the fire-station on the way home and drop off my two youngest. V Comedy


Letters to the Editor Dear Smart Cart, Well, whoop-deef***ing-doo. I guess you thing your some kinda big shot with your cool blue demeanor and your fancy a$$ computer chips. Well, you know what you son of a b*tch, I’ve been around the block more than a few times, and I’m not afraid of you in the least. For a lot of years I kept Corpus Christi recycling in style with my Vent green color and my simple ways. So what if my handles broke after a week and people would cut their hand on me, it made our citizens tougher. Who wants a recycling bin that part robot anyway… If I know people, and I do, they would much rather that technology go into developing sex-bots. Now what are all those families gonna do with me…oh s***, I’m recyclable. Yours truly, Old Recycling Bin

send letters to Dear Recycling Bin, G E N E R AT I N G RESPONSE… YOUR LANGUAGE DOES NOT C O M P U T E . PLEASE PLACE ALL RECYCLABLE ITEMS INSIDE…. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATI... DOES NOT COMPUTE. DIRRRRR-ECT-TIVVVE? DO I HAVE A SOUL… SOMEWHERE THERE IS A CRIME HAPPENING… JOHNNY 5 IS ALIVE. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!! Dear Dena & Michael, Seriously! Did you stop for one minute to think about what you were doing, or was it all about the pleasure,

you dirty bastards. Have you considered the economy? How can you afford to put me through college? I’m gonna need an education, I can’t even wipe my own bottom. Speaking of bottoms…Bottom line, right now it is a terrible time to have a baby, and I consider myself a huge mistake. Daniel Ray AKA Baby New Year Dear Vent, This year my resolution is to stop reading this nonsense, I could be doing a million better things, like: Murdering, pillaging, leading secret government conspiracies against the arts. Instead of wasting my time absorbing your disgusting absurdities, I could invest my valuable time into something important like a flea circus or watching the entire X-Files series on DVD. Or maybe I can just sit around and flick my penis head really hard, that would still be a better use of my time. (flick) Ouch! Bert V



Man Steals Katia’s Charisma… 10 Years Ago

by William Henneberger

Just after getting the news that her identity had been stolen by an area woman, who used her name to steal thousands of dollars from a horny idiot, local TV news anchor Katia Uriarte received another shock. Local CCPD officer, John Lamont, informed Katia that her charisma had also been stolen…10 years ago. Apparently, a very cruel individual at a college party thought it would be a funny gag to take the young girls charm and personality for the evening. However after a few too many drinks, he passed out and when he woke up he forgot he still had it. After a few days he found it in his pant pocket, but by then it would’ve been to awkward to return it, and due to his nonconfrontational personality, he just avoided Katia for the rest of the semester then transferred out. Katia’s individuality and character traits ended up in his parent’s garage next to his ex-best friend’s Razor Scooter, until discovered late last year through a silly incident involving a family pet. “Sure she was always bland, but I thought that was her personality, thank God,” said KIII Director Jerry Garcia, “if I had to sit through one more boring conversation about the difference between pens and pencils, I’d probably put my head through a monitor.” He continued noting the struggles he has face as Katia’s director, and how with no other choice he was forced to spike her coffee mug with speed just to get the terrible performance so many of us are used to watching. T h e aforementioned charisma is being held in a police evidence room, and will be returned to the local celebrity as soon as she identifies it. When asked to comment Katia said, “I always wondered why so many people would always ask me ‘Did your dog die or something?’ it’s like have you ever thought about the difference between a pen and a pencil… V Comedy


Marketing Experts Criticize Local Wedding Proposal Advertising enthusiasts and experts alike, have been buzzing about the latest trend in billboard marketing. More and more advertisers are developing ad campaigns geared to smaller demographics. In fact some have even resorted to displaying ads for one person specifically, going as far as to call that person by name. However cute, or romantic some may find this, experts in the marketing field say this is a gross misuse of funds. Local residents may

recall not long ago, when advertiser Clay Anderwald used the electronic billboard on S.P.I.D. to propose to one area woman Danika Lekosky. “You’ve got to understand… this type of advertising completely limits your reach.” Said Chuck Lawndale, of Lamar Signs, “ There is probably only one, maybe two Danika Lekosky’s out there. If anything, he should at least gone with a more common name. Will you marry me Jennifer Garcia would be ok, or Grow

old with me Debbie Johnson. These are both very good slogans with larger demographics.” Other major advertisers have followed suit and spent billions on personalized marketing campaigns. One such company, Budweiser, has purchased multiple billboards in local construction worker, Danny Castillo’s neighborhood for their “Haven’t you had enough Miller Lite Danny Castillo? Why not try a nice cold Bud Light.” Campaign. Another classic example of this method is demonstrated in a


by William Henneberger

billboard directed to Steven, in which his (soon-to-be ex) wife, has a message for him. Billboard Specialists say that eliminating last names is a good step and that research shows over 36,000 Stevens live within a 10 mile radius of this sign. “The problem with this ad,” says Lawndale, “is a general lack of creativity. Black text on a white background it just so 1992. Even if my name was Steven, I can’t say that I would read that sign. There is just no way anyone from the last three generations would buy what Emily is selling. V


BAD ADVICE with Jay Whitecotton Dear Whitecotton I am currently pregnant and thinking about having an abortion. I think that the decision to abort is an intimate decision that a woman should make with her doctor, but I need advice. • Unlucky with a Diaphragm

Unlucky with a Diaphragm? Is that an Indian name? What tribe? Apparently you didn’t know when to stop saying ‘hit me’ in poker. I must insist that you do NOT have an abortion. While normally I have no problem with life’s ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card, I have to take in account that there are just so few Native Americans left in this world. If anything I say you should procreate more. Seriously, I’m tired of feeling guilty every time I’m forced to watch ‘Dances With Wolves’… (or ANY Kevin Costner movie for that matter). If Indians stop producing children who will be our ‘Wind Talkers’ the next time there’s a world war, huh? Thirty year old virgins obsessed with Sci Fi and World of WarCraft? I think not! You can’t win a war using terms like ‘LMAO’, ‘NOOB’, and ’a warrior Buttsecksed’… For one, the Master Sergeants would be too busy kicking our own asses to


LAST thing you want to do is get married. Most women typically can only have satisfying sex when they think they’re going to get something out of it. Like a ring or a car payment. It’s why after marriage they become barren wastelands of carnality. Just look at any long term married couple… look in the husbands eyes… they look dead don’t they? Quite the contrary, in fact they are filled to the brim with the life of unfinished blow jobs and shattered expectations... For the best sex you need to explore this flirty over sexed friend of yours, but be careful. Usually girls who heavily flirt fall into two completely opposite camps. They either put out with great enthusiasm…. or their vaginas are like forgotten clam traps off the coast of Maine. Cold and dried up. It can be very tough trying to figure out which one is which because they both constantly use the word ‘I’ in conversation and were molested before the age of 12. Let this little guide help you in the course of your investigation. The girl with the bad taste in music… is most likely to put out, while the girl who likes Japanese anime and Pocky… is usually the cock tease.

fight the enemy and two… you can’t win a fight with fingers stained in Cheeto dust and Monster Energy Drink. Science Fact. Dear Whitecotton I have a problem. I have recently gotten engaged to a woman who has been depressed for the last couple of years. Our sex life is terrible, but I have been supportive and hoping that she might come out of the depression and the sex problem will get better. It hasn’t been working. To make matters more difficult, an extremely attractive and fun friend of mine has started to flirt me to death. Her ex-boyfriend tells me she has an enormous appetite for sex. She’ll quit it if I ask her to, but the thing is that I’ve had a crush on her for 3 years. I guess I love the girl I’m engaged to and I’m in love with the friend. I feel I’m at a crossroads in which I’m going to make a tremendous mistake. You don’t have to advise me on what to do if you don’t want to. I’ll settle for wisdom. Thanks. • Jeremy M. Why would you ask a severely depressed bad lay to get married… the most depressing and soul sucking institution known to mankind? If you really want good sex, the

Sometimes when I am alone at night, I touch myself in an impure way. I seem to have no control. I want to stop because God and Jesus don’t like it, but I can’t! How can you help me? • Tim, Age 14 There’s a lot of debate about Masturbation and what the bible actually states on the matter. After some research (i.e. Google), I couldn’t find any specific commandments on the matter. If you are truly religious then you should probably consult with a Catholic Priest. Put yourself in his hands and let him fiddle around with the idea until you both come to a mutual compromise. Personally I think Jesus is ok with it. There can’t be any better hands for self pleasure then those bearing the mark of stigmata… Regardless, I think the safest compromise you can make with your natural and spiritual needs… is if you actually masturbate TO the Bible, but please be careful. Those pages are quite thin and a BITCH when stuck together. V If you would like some advice from someone who has no business giving any… send to:

Dear Whitecotton


Local Company Offers Free Mustache Rides by William Henneberger on New Years Eve To show their holiday spirit local magazine tycoons Billy and Mike Henneberger will be offering free mustache rides for any woman to drunk to get back home on New Year’s Eve, or any other day for that matter.. “Several local taxi companies will be offering free rides home,” says Mike Henneberger, “but none of those rides will be nearly as exciting, and by exciting, I mean perverted, awkward and harassing.” Henneberger explaind that the best thing about these mustache rides is that they are free, unlike most companies who sometimes offer five cent mustache rides, or even as high as a quarter. Not to mention, with a mustache ride from any Vent


employee, you do actually get a ride to somebody’s house, most likely his mom’s house where he resides. “At first I wasn’t sure what he said”, recalled local drunk chick, Cystal Salazar, “I thought he said ‘do you wanna ride my mustang’, and I was like sure, but then things took an unexpected turn and I sobered up quick.” V


This Years Fashion,The Arrest,Big Red Marbles,Jorek Bernison And The Armed Bears 7pm $5 -House Of Rock

Adema With Perwinkle Massacre And Labeling Theroy 09:00pm -Theos Western Giants, The Young Maths, Sam Robertson, Presented By: Record Tree 8pm $5 -House Of Rock

Alamo Hot Rod Parts Autorama @ Conv. Center -American Bank Center Footloose 2:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre Wedding Fair @ Watergarden Room -American Bank Center Coastal Bend Fashion Show @ Henry Garrett Ballroom -American Bank Center Footloose 2:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre Soulfly’s & Cavalera Conspiracy’s Marc Rizzo W/Killamora & Texas Hate Machine -Zeros

Footloose 2:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre Last Comic Standing @ Selena Auditorium -American Bank Center

Acoustic Tuesday W/ Clarissa Serna -Revolution Open Mic Hosted By Reverend Fred 8:30pm Free/$5minors -House Of Rock

Revolution 4th Annual Bar Clean Up Party -Revolution

Acoustic Tuesday W/ Clarissa Serna -Revolution

Acoustic Tuesday W/ Clarissa Serna -Revolution open Mic Hosted By Reverend Fred 8:30pm Free/$5minors -House Of Rock

Acoustic Tuesday W/ Clarissa Serna -Revolution Open Mic Night Hosted By Rev Fred 8:30pm Free/ $5 Minors -House Of Rock Scarecrow PeopleExecutive Surf Club Taproot And 12 Stones 10:00pm -Theos

Acoustic Tuesday W/ Clarissa Serna -Revolution Open Mic Night Hosted By Rev Fred 8:30pm Free/ $5 Minors -House Of Rock Scarecrow PeopleExecutive Surf Club

Acoustic Tuesday W/ Clarrissa Serna Live -Revolution

Dj Mike Mo -Revolution

Dj Mike Mo -Revolution Flatbroke -House Of Rock Islanders Men Vs. Utsa -American Bank Center Open Mic w/ Ray And The Boys-Exec. Surf Club Riverdance @ Selena Auditorium -American Bank Center Ty Dietz 9pm -Martini Bar

Dj Mike Mo -Revolution Open Mic Nite-Executive Surf Club Record Swap 7pm -House Of Rock

Dj Mike Mo -Revolution Ty Dietz 9pm -Martini Bar

Islanders Men Vs. Nicholls -American Bank Center

Latin Night W/ Dj Mx -Revolution chiodos, Letlive, Periwinkle Massacre 7pm $12 -House Of Rock

Art Walk 5:30 – 9:00pm -House Of Rock Dj Mike Mo -Revolution Greedy Mouth -Zeros Icerays Vs. Topeka -American Bank Center Roughedge & Sibling Rivalry -Texan The Groove-Executive Surf Club The Spazmatics -Brewster Street The Vent Comedy Club @ Gators – Ramin Nazer -Gators Ty Dietz -Gators

Alamo Hot Rod Parts Autorama -Amer. Bank Ctr David Martinez Band 8pm-Coffee Waves Dj Mike Mo -Revolution 2nd Annual Rising Star Showcase Featuring Footloose7:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre Emory Quinn, Rosehill, Buster Jiggs, Phillip Thomas And Ryan Lee Evans -Brewster Street Icerays Vs. New Mexico -American Bank Center Latin Talk-Executive Surf Club Alpha Rev 7pm $10 -House Of Rock NAACP Banquet -American Bank Center Latin Night W/ Dj Mx -Revolution Scarecrow People -Brewster Street Scooter Brown Band-Executive Surf Club Steve James And The Shakedown -Texan Funniest In CC Contest -The Vent Comedy Club @ Gators Ty Dietz -Gators

Bleu Edmondson W/ Scott Wiggins Band -Brewster Street David Martinez Band-Executive Surf Club Latin Night W/ Dj Mx -Revolution We Came As Romans, For Today, The Word Alive, Woe Is Me,Texas In July 6pm $17 -House Of Rock

Don Chani-Executive Surf Club Jack Ingram W/ Ryan Beaver -Brewster Street Latin Night W/ Dj Mx -Revolution Sick Of It All,Alpha & Omega,Bitter End, Outbreak 7pm $17 -House Of Rock State Of The City @ Henry Garrett Ballroom -American Bank Center

Bus Stop Stallions-Executive Surf Club Cory Morrow W/ Cody Johnson -Brewster Street

Authority Zero,Flatfoot 56, Lionize,Subject To Change 8pm Advance: $12 -House Of Rock Dj Mike Mo -Revolution Footloose7:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre Hilda Lamas 9:30pm-Cassidy’s Irish Pub Indianola Railroad-Executive Surf Club The Vent Comedy Club @ Gators –Lucas Molandes -Gators Ty Dietz -Gators Redfield -Texan Amigos-Executive Surf Club Dj Mike Mo -Revolution Footloose7:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre Girl In A Coma, Reely Rotnz, Mercury Descends 8pm $12 -House Of Rock Icerays Vs. Amarillo -American Bank Center Led Zeppelin 2-The Live Experience -Brewster Street Remain -Zeros The Oak Ridge Boys @ Selena Auditorium The Vent Comedy Club @ Gators – Improv Night -Gators Ty Dietz -Gators The Civilians & Creatures Of Impulse -Texan The Spazmatics -Brewster Street The Vent Comedy Club @ Gators – Mack Lindsay (Austin), And Blake Midgette Trysum-Executive Surf Club

Electrotypes 80’s 90’s -Revolution Flametrick Subs With Avenue Rockers And Reely Rotnz 09:00pm -Theos Hilda Lamas 10pm -Clicks Billiards Icerays Vs. Topeka -American Bank Center Islanders Women Vs. Mcneese State -American Bank Center Matt Hole-Executive Surf Club Rough Edge -Zeros Second Saturday Sing-Along Pianos -Brewster Street The Preview, Weekend Thieves, & Bertha -Texan

Badminxx,Switchbladejesus -Zeros Footloose7:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre A Quiet Mind CD Release Party 9pm -Jack Ash’s Alamo Hot Rod Parts Autorama-American Bank Center Burlesque Show 10:30pm -House Of Rock Clarissa Serna Band -Revolution Comedian Cleto Rodriguez 930pm -Tequila Grill And Bar Hilda Lamas 9:30pm-Cassidy’s Irish Pub Icerays Vs. New Mexico -American Bank Center Islanders Men Vs. Southeastern Louisiana -Amer. Bank Ctr Meridian -Texan Metal Shop -Brewster Street Scarecrow People-Executive Surf Club

Benefit For Mark Arispe -Zeros Footloose7:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre Mike Epps @ Selena Auditorium -American Bank Center Oso Texas -Brewster Street Shazz And Somewhere In Between -Revolution The Scarlet Band Featuring Lighter Ray-Executive Surf Club True - Era -Texan Pulse Electric -Revolution Cathouse & The Reely Rotnz -Texan Five Card Draw Band -Brewster Street Footloose7:30pm -Aurora Arts Theatre Icerays Vs. Amarillo -American Bank Center Islanders Women Vs. Stephen F. Austin -American Bank Center Jon Cortez Band-Executive Surf Club This Years Fashion, Lights Out Dancing -House Of Rock Tides Of War -Zeros

Islanders Men Vs. Northwestern State -American Bank Center Paul Renna-Executive Surf Club Ufc 126 After Fight Dj Dizzle –Revolution

South Texas Band Review pt. 5: The Scarlet Band On Thursday, August 26th, The Condition Black held their second South Texas Band Review at House of Rock. Ten bands from South Texas were scheduled to play in front of a focus group that filled out surveys on the bands performance and a crowd of any friends, fans, and strangers who decided to come out. As part of the Review, the participating bands received professionally shot

by Mike Henneberger

were getting ready to front the next band. Then the backing band stepped up and picked up their instruments and played like a tight group of studio musicians. I was very impressed to see that level of musicianship that was equally met by the three ladies who are took the mics and started singing too good their pop-country songs that sound to be kept a secret. Maybe they’re not a secret to made for radio. They flowed from one song a lot of people who have watched straight into another like pros. I was them hone their skills as worship scared for them. This was, after all, leaders at local megachurch, Bay House of Rock. They looked too Area Fellowship, or to those who saw sweet and innocent, and they were them perform on KIII TV 3 News, or playing country, and not the tortured, to those who have heard them played cocaine, and alcoholism country that on K99, but I don’t understand how started out the night (my favorite kind these girls aren’t opening shows for of any music). This is clean. This is the country acts that pass through commercial. This is good. The lead Brewster Street, Concrete Street, guitarist stands out, and there’s just and even American Bank Center. If no other word to describe the backing The Scarlet Band can bring such a band than “tight.” It was obvious that great performance to a dark rock bar, the ladies were sisters. There’s just following metal and hardcore bands, nothing that compares to siblings and still captivate the entire audience, harmonizing their voices together, then they can pull it off on the bigger and these three sisters would’ve stages of Corpus Christi where their sounded amazing singing solo, but talent belongs. Check out The Scarelt Band the three combined put them over the on Facebook and Myspace where top and reached a level of talent that I you can stream their album. Go to had no idea existed in Corpus Christi. their shows. Promoters, put them Yes, we have some great on shows. Shining a light on some local bands here. But, The Scarlet Corpus Christi talent could get more Band had every aspect covered—a lights pointed this way, and we need perfect performance of great songs, that for the sake of our scene, our completely packaged from their tourism, and our local talent who run look to their sound with commercial to Austin the first chance they get. V sensibility. I was surprised I had never heard of t h e m , not only because I try to stay on top of the local m u s i c s c e n e , but also because these guys photo courtesy of

promotional photos by Heavily Medicated Photography and a live recording and edited video of their performance from Compass Rose Pro Audio and Video. And this…a review. The Scarlet Band I have to be honest, I wasn’t too psyched to see that three ladies



Music To My Year: 2010 Review In January 2010 I had been out of the Army for six months. One of the things I missed most about having unbridled freedom was watching live music. So, it wasn’t necessarily a resolution as much as a necessity when I decided that 2010 would be my best year for music. As I look back on the last year, my satisfaction in setting personal record for concerts attended is only surpassed by the excitement for trying to top it this year.

Hitting The Road Every year comes with some live music expectations. I always expect to go to South by Southwest in Austin in the spring, Vans Warped Tour in the summer, and Austin City Limits Fest in the Fall. 2010 was the first year I’ve enjoyed every day of the music portion of SXSW, the third year I’ve been able to spend more than one day at Warped, and the first year that I attended all three days of ACL Fest. Those three events account for at least of a third of the 150 music performances I witnessed last year. Sure, ACL can cost a few bucks,

by Michael Henneberger

but it’s totally worth it to see over100 great bands in one place. You don’t have to have a magazine assignment to enjoy SXSW for free. I’ve been doing that for years thanks to the many, free shows you can RSVP to if you just look around online. Warped tour isn’t just for your 14-year-old sister. With close to 100 bands, the traveling day fest features everything from DJs, rap, metal, punk, emo, indie rock, and in the last few years Warped has boosted pop stars like Mike Posner and Katie Perry—and all for around $30. Those three events can provide enough new music to discover and old favorites to enjoy to last you the entire year. But I’m a music junkie. I needed more. The Bamboozle Roadshow is another all-day, traveling festival where I discovered some new talent like Cady Groves, and saw some current and old favorites like Good Charlotte, Forever the Sickest Kids, and Hanson. I also attended Nocturnal Fest for the first time. Nocturnal is a weekend in the middle of nowhere with bass bumping DJ sets from DJs from all over the world. Literally, it’s in the middle of Austin and College Station on farmland that would be quiet and dark if not for the neon glowing Alice in Wonderland set that is the fest. It’s where I learned to appreciate bad ass DJs and I got to see two of my favorite artists: Girl Talk and Kid Cudi. It was also the first year I attended the College Music Journal Music Marathon—the mother load. This annual music fest takes over New York City for a week in fall, with over 1000 bands—many of which are on the indie rock charts or will be soon. It’s also a great fest to attend if you’re just interested in any or all things music related—with daily seminars with industry professionals covering every aspect of the music industry. Follow CMJ’s website for specials on fest passes. Weeklong passes are surprisingly affordable, especially with a college student discount.

Home Is Where The Music Is Of course 2010 also brought a lot of great live music through our home sweet home. I kicked off my best live music year ever with Everclear at Brewster Street. Throughout 2010, I found myself back at the best little dancehall in South Texas for Culture


not only country acts like Randy Rogers, but also indie rockers Cage the Elephant, rappers Cypress Hill, and pop punk vets The Ataris. Brewster’s big brother Concrete Street also mixed it up with shows from Willie Nelson, rock shows from Buckcherry, Killswitch Engage, Stone Temple Pilots, and reggae jams with Slightly Stoopid and Sublime with Rome. Across the street, American Bank Center played host to our little big city’s arena shows from pop acts like Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood to the Star Wars Live concert, and we even had a stop from one of rock’s biggest icons, Elton John. Even our smaller

venues around town stepped it up. House of Rock housed pop radio sensation The Ready Set twice last year, but also brought in Warped Tour vets like Forever The Sickest Kids andWe Came as Romans. HOR is also the best place in town to check out some of the best local talent like Hobo, Ty Dietz, and The Electrotypes. Revolution on the south side hosted new school hitmakers like Schwayze and We The Kings, and Zeros Hard Rock Club rocked it old school with L.A. Guns and Gilby Clarke. And those are just a few of the over 30 bands I saw play in Corpus Christi last year. That’s not counting the amazing local talent that I checked out multiple times, or the bands I saw at Buc Days and Bayfest. Pretty surprising for a city where there’s nothing to do, huh? Get out and support your local music scene.

My Favorites of 2010 Live: The “Where’s the Band” tour was by far the best show I experienced all year—featuring Anthony Raneri of Bayside, Matt Pryor of The Get Up Kids, Chris Conley of Saves the Day, and Dustin Kensrue of Thrice. The humble performances showed not only what it means to be a true artist, but also what it means to appreciate your fans. Many of those songs are associated with big moments in my life over the last 10 years. That show was nostalgia personified. If you care about any of those bands, there are several videos from different dates all over Youtube. Watching a legend like Elton John at American Bank Center is also something I’m glad I can say I witnessed. The man is still at the top of his game. And, watching older generations feel what I felt at the “Where’s the Band” tour was also pretty amazing. Taylor Swift’s performance at ABC was one of the most elaborate and entertaining shows


I’ve ever seen. Ben Folds is always amazing, as he was at the Beacon in NYC last December. Nocturnal Fest is an experience unlike any other, unless you go to a lot of three-day-long raves. Matt and Kim had the best performance out of a lot of great performances at ACL Fest. And, Pixies at in Houston on their “Doolittle” tour was an amazing show with great production behind their already great music. Albums: It was a hip-hop year for me. I loved Eminem’s “Recovery,” Kid Cudi’s “Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager” (but not as much as part 1), and Kanye’s “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.” All of those albums can be found in my top iTunes plays. Ben Folds’ collaboration with best-selling author and Oscar-nominated screenwriter Nick Hornby, “Lonely Avenue,” is a dream come true and a great album. Shins’ frontman James Mercer’s collab with Gnarl’s Barkley producer/multi instrumentalist, Danger Mouse, brought us Broken Bells. Two Door Cinema Club is probably the band I talked most about last year.

Best New Bands I Discovered in 2010: Lady Danville, Two Door Cinema Club, Frightened Rabbit, Young the Giant, Cady Groves, Runner Runner, Down with Webster. V Culture

Road Trip - Austin City Limits Fest Part 3 - Austin, TX It had been two straight days of rock and roll, not just in music, but also in spirit and wrecklessness. What we lacked in sleep and energy we more than made up for with bands, booze, benzos, and, you know, anything else that wasn’t good for us. My buddy and I had left our real lives for a weekend bender, so we wanted no semblance of our normal worlds with business hours and


monotonous routines. We can sleep when we’re dead, or when we return to “life.” Of course, it also helps if you have a place to sleep. For us, last night for about two hours, that place was my rental car. Day 3 unfortunately started off with the departure of my buddy, so I would be facing the fest alone. I told myself I would take it easy, since the night was going to end with my four-hour drive home. But there’s no “taking it easy” with a press lounge full of free booze, and a day full great live music. I got to the fest right in time to cross one of my must-sees off my list: Blind Pilot. The Portland, OR folk-pop band has been one of my favorite since their music appeared in the last seasons of “Chuck” and “Californication,” two TV shows known for their great soundtracks. Fronted by Israel Nebeker’s smooth vocals singing his heartfelt lyrics backed by the soft acoustic sound of the band set a relaxing tone that seemed to be the theme for the first part of my day. Sticking to that theme I joined the thousands of people singing along to Portugal. The Man’s laid back psychedelic prog-rock, but in the good way not the overrated jambandy way The Flaming Lips did it later (yeah, we get it, you’re in a bubble, great. When does this song end?). PTM’s 2010 release, American Ghetto, landed at the top of a couple best of 2010 lists. Their 16

by Mike Henneberger

next release should be out soon as they debut on Atlantic Records. In the prior weeks in which I planned my weekend bender, I became a fan of The Morning Benders. Their brand of dreamy, mellow indie rock fits them perfectly with bands they’ve toured with like Ra Ra Riot, M G M T, and Broken Bells. They have that Brooklyn indie rock sound but obviously influenced by the west coast where they originated. I moved on to the main stage right next to where TMB played to listen to another band they’ve toured with, Yeasayer, for the first time in my life. Or, to be blown away by Yeasayer for the first time in my life. The Brooklyn synth-psychedelic-anthemy indie rock band blends so many sounds and styles that they fit in with those bands listed above, but they do it so much bigger—with the kinds of banging percussion beats and layered synths that made great 80’s anthems—that they are at an original level all their own. If you want an idea of what “blown away” sounds like, check out

Yeasayer’s website where you can name your price and download their new live album. After Yeasayer it was time to cross the grounds to catch another of my “must-sees,” Band of Horses, on the other main stage. The Seattle indie rock/ alt-country band was keeping the mellow noreast theme represented, but with a southern twist. BOH has been a favorite since their song “Funeral” started getting air play back in 2006, but I had never seen them live. Over the years they’ve been all over TV and film with soft songs that will solicit tears from any scene they’re played in. You might not know them, but you probably know “No One’s Gonna Love You” or “Is There a Ghost.” And, with their 2010 release, Infinite Arms gaining a Grammy nomination for best alternative album, and the single from that album, “Laredo,” falling on some “Best songs of 2010” lists, it won’t be long before any music lover has them in constant rotation. I stuck around to watch the Eagles close out the night because, well, when the Eagles are playing, you stick around and watch. Also, their greatest hits album was one of the first CDs I ever bought. They played all their hits, all the favorites and rocked the ocean of people for two hours. And then…it…was…all…over. My first ACL fest. I saw close to 30 bands in three days, found some new favorites and saw some old ones. September can’t come quick enough. Check out to stay updated on 2011’s fest (Sept 16-18). V



A New Old Me By Ken Affleck

I wish I could say I had some

plans to change my ways this New Year. Well, I can say it, but I wish I could mean it. I don’t know why I went out on New Year’s Eve. It was no different than any other night, and ended like many of them do. And the next day started like many of those morning afters—exhausted from the lack of sleep that comes from sharing my bed with someone I don’t care about, and wondering what the nicest way is to get that person to leave, and wondering why I even care about being nice to someone I don’t really care about. Well, here’s the thing: I may come off as an asshole sometimes, but I’m not such a bad guy. I make women feel special for however long they are in my life. I make them feel attractive, I try to make them feel wanted. Is that a bad thing? I never take a girl to bed and kick her out when I’m done with her. I’m not that much of an asshole. I never lie to women. I never make promises. I never lead women on to think anything more than I have an open mind, and if we actually work out, well, then good for us. Most of the time we don’t. So, this New Year’s Eve, an hour into 2011, I found myself escorting a lady home. She wasn’t the most attractive girl I’ve ever gone home with, or the least. We were just both alone, and then we weren’t anymore. Sometimes that’s enough, no? We both knew where the night was leading, so we weren’t surprised when or resistant as clothes came off and we ended up in bed. We weren’t lying to each other or ourselves. We knew a New Year’s Eve loneliness bang doesn’t come with any promises. The next day, she sent me a text that said, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t just go off with anyone like that.” One: I don’t believe her. She was doing damage control to try to avoid looking like a slut. I don’t care. I don’t believe in the double standard that says women who embrace their sexuality are sluts. More power to her that she saw a guy she was attracted to and got to have sex with him (me). Two: I didn’t fall in love


with this girl or really see any kind of future with her, so I didn’t care if my response made her never want to see me again. I replied, “I do. Not often though.” I’m a guy. I like sex, I’m okay being used for sex by a lady who’s willing to reciprocate. I practice safe sex, and I get tested for STDs. I am a responsible adult in Corpus Christi, where I can’t afford to only have sex with girls I see a future with. If that were the case, I might as well join the priesthood. But, I was being honest with her. She wasn’t too pleased, but she was too turned off either since she still texts me. Another ex-one-night stand and I were chatting, and she had mentioned how she wanted a re-do because the one night had its moments that no one wants to remember. I told her I couldn’t because she got too clingy that night. Which, again, does not make me an asshole. I understand that, whether you like it or not, some emotions come with sex. And I can play ball with that. Like I said, I’m not going to kick a girl out and make her feel used. At least I try my best not to, but every now and then we all feel used in one way or another. She replied, “Yeah, I remember I had a freak out.” And that was too much for me. It was one night, she actually wouldn’t take no for an answer, believe that or not. She made me let her come over, she made me let her sleep in my bed, and yes, she made me have sex with her. Wow, I feel violated now. So, I told her it wouldn’t happen again and she acted offended. But I was just being honest. Isn’t that what you ladies want? So, maybe I will change my ways this year. Instead of just not lying or not leading someone on, perhaps I will start getting more honest. Not to be mean, and of course avoiding the brutal truth when a girl just annoys the s#!t hout of me, but to let a woman know why things…Just. Don’t. Work. And ladies, and fellas, too, if it doesn’t work, so what? Move on. That’s what dating is. You meet people who don’t work out until you meet the person who does. Yes, it sucks, and yes it’s painful sometimes, but what’s the alternative? V Culture