Page 1


What’s going on in your town, tonight? November 21st Wiltern LG – Bonnie Raitt, Maia Sharp – 8 p.m. $45 Chain Reaction – Dillinger Escape Plan, Hella, Between the Buried and Me, Horse (the band), Flashbulb – 8 p.m. $16 House of Blues, Sunset – Thrice, Underoath, The Bled & Veda – 7 p.m. $17.50 House of Blues, Anaheim – Sean Paul – 8 p.m. $42.50 El Rey – Buckethead, Bad Acid Trip – 8 p.m. $23.50 STAPLES Center – Depeche Mode, The Ravonettes – 8 p.m. $35-$85, 3 nights

22nd Chain Reaction – Dillinger Escape Plan, Hella, Horse the Band – 8 p.m. $16 House of Blues, Sunset - Thrice, Underoath, The Bled & Veda – 7 p.m. $17.50 House of Blues, Anaheim – Buckethead – 7 p.m. $16.50 El Rey – Animal Collective, Amps for Christ – 8 p.m. $20.50 Echo – Deerhoof, Mika Miko – 8 p.m. $10 Mama Juana’s – Johnny Polanco – 8 p.m.


House of Blues, Sunset – Senses Fail, Saves the Day, Early November, Emanuel – 7 p.m. $20 Improv, Irvine – Tracy Morgan – 8 p.m. $20, 3 nights Knitting Factory – The Adored, Weirdos – 8 p.m. $12 Roxy Theatre – The Archbishops, Rusty Eye, The Faded, Six Gun – 8 p.m. $10

26th Wiltern LG – Fiona Apple – 8 p.m. $40

STAPLES Center – Paul McCartney – 8 p.m. $51.50-$259.25

House of Blues, Sunset – Senses Fail, Saves the Day, Early November, Emanuel – 7 p.m. $20 Glass House – Aquabats, Aggrolites, Bad Credit – 7 p.m. $15 Vault 350 – Hed P.E. – 7 p.m. $15 Pond of Anaheim – Gwen Stefani, M.I.A. – 8 p.m. $37.50-$69.50 Key Club – Black Eyed Peas – 8 p.m. $200 Spaceland – The Muffs – 8 p.m. $12

27th House of Blues, Anaheim – Senses Fail, Saves the Day, Early November, Emanuel – 7 p.m. $20 House of Blues, Sunset – Children of Bodom, Trivium, Amon Amarth – 7 p.m. $19

28th House of Blues, Anaheim – Fear Factory, Soilwork, Strapping Young Lad, Darkane – 7 p.m. $20 Avalon – Babyface $48.50-$83.50



Pond of Anaheim – Gwen Stefani, M.I.A. – 8 p.m. $37.50-$69.50


25th Galaxy Theatre – The Germs, Franki’s Broken Toys, Six, T.U.K. – 8 p.m. $25


House of Blues, Anaheim – Super Furry Animals – 8 p.m. $15

Arrowhead Pond – Depeche Mode, The Ravonettes – 8 p.m. $49.50-$85

Glass House – Saves the Day, Senses Fail, Early November, Emanuel – 8 p.m. $21

Speakers Platform (CSULB) – Iraq Open Mic – 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

Galaxy Theatre – Children of Bodom, Trivium, Amon Amarth – 8 p.m. $20

The Grove – Babyface – 8 p.m. $40

Galaxy Theatre – The Fenians, Merry Wives of Windsor, Gypsy’s Kiss – 8 p.m. $15

STAPLES Center – Paul McCartney – 8 p.m. $51.50-$259.25

House of Blues, Sunset - Fear Factory, Soilwork, Strapping Young Lad, Darkane – 6 p.m. $20

Coach House – Henry Rollins – 8 p.m. $25

Echo – Deerhoof, Paul Williams – 6 p.m. $10

Cinespace – The Rolling Blackouts – 8 p.m. $5

29th Chain Reaction – Yellow Card, Acceptance – 8 p.m. $20 House of Blues, Anaheim – Rasputina, Aberdeen City – 8 p.m. $14 Avalon – Super Furry Animals, Caribou – 8 p.m. $20

December 1st Showcase Theatre – The Briefs, Clit 45, Thretning Verse, Neon Maniacs – 8 p.m. $10 Avalon – Alanis Morissette – 7 p.m. $22 Bren Events Center (UCI) – Avenged Sevenfold, Saosin, Death by Stereo, Bullets and Octane – 8 p.m. $20

2nd Wiltern LG – All American Rejects, The Academy Is… - 8 p.m. $22.50 Improv, Hollywood – Bob Saget – 8 p.m. $20 Glass House – Jimmy Eats World, Jade Shader – 8 p.m. $25 Long Beach Terrace Theatre – Ron White – 8 p.m. $42.75 Royce Hall (UCLA) – De La Soul – 8 p.m. $80-$185

3rd House of Blues, Anaheim – The Bangles – 8 p.m. $35 Improv, Hollywood – Bob Saget – 8 p.m. $20

4th Chain Reaction – Propaghandi, Greg MacPherson, Toys that Kill – 8 p.m. Arrowhead Pond – Orchestra – 8 p.m. $50.50



Knitting Factory – Tristeza, Languis – 8 p.m. $10

Troubadour – International Noise Conspiracy, These Arms are Snakes, Nightmare of You, American Eyes – 8 p.m. $12

Echo – Go Go Airheart, The Joggers – 8 p.m. $8

Silent Movie Theatre – Aqualung – 7 p.m. $20

The Smell – The Mae Shi – 8 p.m. $5

Bren Events Center (UCI) – Kanye West, Fantasia, Keyshia Cole – 8 p.m. $46



November 21, 2005 Issue 13 Volume 57

Let ter f



itor Ed


e th


f this is the only paper you grabbed from the stand, turn around—you have no idea what you’re missing. This is The Union’s spoof week, and the latest in a long line of hilariously offensive parody issues. This is something we do once each semester, and the issue remains on stands for two full weeks before our triumphant return, which will be on December 5th this semester.

In case you didn’t see it or confused it with something else, our spoof for the semester is a parody of what a White House newsletter might look like. If you get pissed off about something within those golden sixteen pages, suck it up. Not everyone who worked on it agrees with all of its content, either. It seems like the world has been so politically charged for the past couple months, especially on campus, that we just had to goof on it. Just last week my letter from the editor defended some of the more conservative views on indecency as it relates to television. It ran atop a piece denouncing the Conservative standpoint on teaching of Intelligent Design, and programs that advocate abstinence. This is the type of debate that should be found in a college publication, but we feel the need to poke fun at it as well, lest we become too serious. For the most part, we feel that just about everybody is annoyed in some way about what is going on in D.C., and that this is a slightly more relevant and more intelligent alternative to last year’s Lowlife’s spoof issue. Although I’m sure that the perceived safety of this issue will be shattered when we find out we’re being taken to the Senate for some little, overlooked mundane detail. Enjoy. But if not, see you soon.

attention short story contest enterers Don’t worry! I have your short stories, and I am weighing stacks of them against other stacks of them as we speak. Or as I speak, I guess. The response to the contest was incredible, so another hearty handshake and huge thanks to all who entered. All in all, we received more than 25 submissions, including a surprising 20 stories from non-Union writers. Thanks to the huge response, there will be two top prizes of $50—one for the best Union submission and one for the best non-Union story. The winner(s) will be announced in the December 5 issue, and the cash prize awarded the week after that, so stay tuned—you could be the lucky bastard to take my money.



Editor-in-Chief Patrick Dooley Managing Editors Dan Steinbacher Brian Dunning Associate Editor Natalie Vratney News Director Amanda Parsons Executive Section Editors Opinions Noah Karp News Amanda Parsons Entertainment Katie Wynne Music Conor Izzett Literature Mike Guardabascio Sports J.J. Fiddler Comics Andrew Wilson Creative Arts Jeremy Eichenbaum Random Reviews Brian Dunning Grunion Pineablo Public Relations Music & Entertainment Matt Dupree Literature Mike Guardabascio Photography Editor Alisha Willis Illustration Editor Miles Lemaire Advertising Representative Elijah Bates Graphic Design Brian Dunning Web Design Jeff Gould

Mary Koestner Cover By Brian Dunning Cartoonists Matt Byrd Philip Vargas Distribution Mike Guardabascio Copy Editor Noah Karp Contributors Ray Duran, Kevin Malinowski, Elijah Bates, Victor Camba, Sean Boulger, Jeffrey Spafford, Jesse Gayda, Dominic McDonald, Rachel Woodford, Joey Calmer, Giuliano De Pieri, Jen Perry, Mathew Lavery, Ryan ZumMallen, Jessica Deahl, Caroline Sinay, Brenna Taylor-Ford, Allie Moreno, Daniel Pearson, Matt Brown, Shawn Duenser, Dayna Randazzo, Brady Berthelson Disclaimer and Publication Information The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding by the Associated Students, Inc. All editorials are the opinions of the writer, and are not necessarily the opinions of the Union, the A.S.I., or CSULB. All students are welcome to be a part of the Union staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. All outside submissions are due by Thursday, 5PM to be considered for publishing the following week and become property of the Union. Please include name, major, class standing, and phone number for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters will be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustrations, but they must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 300 words. Letters to the editor will always take precedence over prior in-house content when received. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available at the AS Business office.

Union Weekly 1212 Bellflower Blvd. Suite 256A Long Beach, CA 90815 (562) 985-4867 Visit Us Online @


By Dayna Randazzo

I would like to consider myself a compassionate person. I have a wonderful family and friends, as well as an awesome roommate. There are a few old friends I’ve grown apart from, but I can’t say I hate anyone. However, there are those that apparently hate me: my neighbors. I didn’t realize how bad their animosity was until I was reconnected with them at the worst of places, my work. I’m a server at this restaurant in Belmont Shore, and the hostess randomly sat them in my section. I greeted them with a smile, asked what they wanted to drink, and went about my business. Not only did they flash fake grins, but they started giving each other the eye and left!! I was completely appalled by their rudeness. Am I that bad of a neighbor? To them, apparently so. I can admit that last year my roommates and I threw a few parties that got out of control, but that hasn’t happened for several months now. And, even though I apologized for our behavior a long time ago, obviously they have yet to get over their grudge. Besides having my girlfriends over for a few cocktails before the bars, I haven’t had any parties. Just a drink and we’re on our way. What could possibly be their freaking problem? It can’t be that bad living next door to two college girls. But their hatred has deepened over the past year, and last weekend was a perfect reminder of that. On Thursday night, my best friend and I got ready at my place, sipped on some wine, and were off to the Dubliner. As we waited outside for the taxi, my douchebag neighbor zipped by in his Mitsubishi, flashing me the hairy eyeball. Not only did it scare me, but it made me think of how psycho the two guys living next door to me really were. Why did they hate me so much? Was it because I am a young college student with many friends that like to come over and make use of the complex’s amazing facilities? We go in the spa, swim, and play tennis all the time. No one else does, so why not? I live here too, dammit! However, his evil eye was the least of my worries. After the “Dub” and two taxi rides later, my best friend and our two other friends laughed and stumbled home. If laughing is a crime, than I am completely sorry. As we almost reached my doorstep and passed by the fuckers’ unit, their patio lights started flickering as a signal to shut up. I quieted my friends and we all went inside. A few minutes later my phone started ringing, with an angry man yelling at me—mind you, it’s 2 a.m. He was so vicious and mean I couldn’t reason with him or even apologize, for that matter. He cussed me out and threatened to call the cops. I told him to do what he needed to do and that I was going to bed. I ended up hanging up because I was fed up with the verbal abuse. Who does that? Now, I dodge my neighbors every moment possible. To be quite honest, I think they are psycho and my roommate and I can’t help but be a bit scared. Having neighbors is a part of life, unless you are some rich guy who lives on private property. You can’t necessarily choose who you are going to end up living next to, and you can’t be picky. I know we are nice girls and, even though we are young, we are respectful—which is one thing those bastards never learned. It’s apparent that their problems are deeper than dealing with the two girls next door. In the meantime, I dodge them at every opportunity and bashfully smile at their horrifying glares.

The Student Breed

By Christine Harmon

The last time I checked, this is a college campus, right? If you’re wondering why I’m confused, allow me to explain. It all began with a “library treasure hunt.” As callow as this assignment sounds, it wasn’t the problem. I worked with a student who didn’t know how to locate a book in the library with the call number in hand. Not only that, but he didn’t know how to search for books on COAST in the first place. I felt deeply concerned, but helped him step-by-step. While discussing what to capitalize in a sentence when referring to company names, one student asked, “In the sentence ‘The Senate formed a subcommittee to investigate the Enron debacle,’ shouldn’t the word “debacle” be capitalized, since it’s a part of the company’s name?” Next, the night before a test, a fellow classmate asked if I wanted to get together to study on the day of the exam. I said, “No problem. Let’s get together in the morning.” She replied, “Sure. We should both go over the book tonight, highlight the important information that will be on the test so we’ll be prepared to review together.” The next morning I got this call: “Hey, I can’t get together with you because I stayed up all night, but could you bring your book over to my place? I don’t have the book for this class.” What a stealthy and virtuous move on her part. Just wait—the fun isn’t over yet. In one of my classes, we were discussing the Cambodian genocide that took place in the 1970s. A classmate queried, “Why didn’t the United States get involved and prevent this from happening?” Another student took the liberty of replying and said, “Why does the United States have to get involved? I mean, like, Cambodia isn’t even in the United States, is it?” Wow. It just keeps getting better. Now that we are paying for our education, I was under the impression most of us actually want to be here. Not only that, but I was also under the impression that we were appropriately prepared, intelligent individuals who want to enrich our minds to prime us for our future careers. The more people I meet, the more I realize a lot of us are just here to “check the block.” For those that are, I have no doubt you will skimp through your classes, barely passing, and earn a degree. Now, unless you happen to be the son of a prominent politician, you’d better hope that once you get that interview for your dream job, the interviewer doesn’t notice the word “lazy” stamped across your forehead through your aimless attitude. And, if they don’t notice the meagerness in your character, you might take a moment to ponder whose spot it is you’re stealing, just like you should now. There are many ambitious and resourceful students vying for your seat in class. Any of you constantly denied admission to a full class, only to find that most of the students later dropped, know what I mean. Or any of you that have sat in a class filled with computers, only to be surrounded by Myspace whores during the middle of an important lecture, know what I mean. Let’s not forget the extra coursework involved in gaining admission into impacted majors. It isn’t a secret that this university is crammed. I’ve compiled a small list of characteristics that may define you as not ready for inclusion in the student breed: 1) If you think Cambodia is a city in New Jersey. 2) If you think the Dewey Decimal System is a mathematical equation. 3) If you’re in the eighth week of classes and you still don’t know where the bookstore is. 4) If you’re failing a class because “Beachboard is too complicated.” 5) If you show up to the first day of class two hours late and your excuse is, “I had to pay for classes.” (Who didn’t?). Now, don’t misinterpret this. I don’t think there’s a problem with not knowing, but I do think there is something wrong with not trying. I understand that some might have received poor educations before the Beach, but now is the time to take advantage. This is a great school with incredible opportunities for us. While you’re here, you ought to get your money’s worth and leave as an intelligent, well-rounded individual. If that doesn’t happen, it’s just a waste of time.


“That” Neighbor




Verdict Recieved in AS President Pollock Suit By Amanda Parsons

Because Pollock appointed Chief of Staff Robert Godina as an executive officer; former executive officer, Administrator Sally Bulquerian, was not performing the duties of her titled position and was not receiving the same monetary stipend that former administrators had. This appointment was not cleared with the AS Senate beforehand, thus resulting in a violation of the AS bylaws. John Kitihara, CSULB senior in Communication Studies filed the suit against Pollock last month, raising questions as to his motives. Kitihara is not currently a member of the Associated Student Senate, although he was Commissioner of Special Events in 2002. “It’s not personal against Jamie [Pollock] or Bobby [Robert Godina], it just wasn’t following bylaws,” Kitihara said. “What they do is part of student money. The organization reflects all students. In my opinion, being a student, I want it to be done right if I am paying for it.” “People knew so I caught wind of it... “ Kitihara said. “It seemed like it wasn’t right. I still have friends that are involved in ASI… Sally Bulquerian is a friend of mine.”


ssociated Students Inc. President Jaime Pollock was found culpable of restructuring the Associated Student government by appointing her Chief of Staff, Robert Godina, as an executive officer and thus violating AS bylaws, the senate judiciary stated last Friday. The ruling resulted in a declaration that Godina “SHOULD NOT be receiving an executive stipend equal to the sum of which he is currently being granted.” Pollock was not issued a punishment, suggesting a slap-on-thewrist for her actions. “The verdict is incomplete,” head of Pollock’s defense, Attorney General Kevin Rhodes stated. “They [the judiciary] found her culpable, which is pretty much the same as guilty, saying that she was responsible for her actions, but they gave no sentence. They can’t find her guilty and then not take action. “ Rhodes would not comment on what action he and Pollock plan to take on the matter.

Bulquerian was unavailable for comment. The verdict found the bylaws to be ambiguous in some clauses. “Court recommends that Senate of AS reevaluate its functioning rules and resolve these inconsistencies so that future administrators can no longer exploit and capitalize on them in the future.” “I am still trying to figure out what it means,” Pollock said. “The verdict was very ambiguous.” The official judiciary ruling is posted outside the Senate Judiciary Office in the University Student Union room 309.

Pay Unequal Amongst Day Care Centers By Dan Steinbacher The Isabel Patterson Child Development Center is the most populated day care facility on campus at CSULB; yet its far smaller competition, The Child and Family Center, pays its employees almost three dollars more per hour, causing high turnover rates for the CDC. The CDC, located near the Parkside dormitories, is funded by the Associated Students, and is responsible for roughly 250 children, 90 percent of whom have parents that are also students at CSULB. In addition to helping student parents, the CDC also employs about 60 students as childcare teachers with minimum wage pay. One of the main goals of the CDC is to offer quality childcare at a very low rate, which it does, charging students $22 for a full day of preschool care. Due to the unusually large number of children that attend the center, their budget takes up the biggest portion of the Associated Students budget at $1 million per year. Unfortunately, this means that money must be saved elsewhere, and usually comes from the salaries of the employees. Student teachers at the CDC begin at minimum wage, which is considered to be

low, even by the Director of the CDC, Rhonda Marikos. “Ideally, I would start each student teacher at 10 dollars an hour and give them performance based raises either semesterly or yearly. We have a wonderful staff who love working at the center and genuinely love the kids, but for some students, minimum wage just isn’t enough to get by.” Marikos said. The CDC is not the only childcare facility on campus. The Child and Family Center, located in the Family and Consumer Science building, also provides childcare services, but is only open to faculty. They employ less than 20 student teachers, have 45 children enrolled, and model the National Associaion for the Education of Young Children childcare philosophy, while at the same time operating as a teacher training facility. The FCS charges $600 atweek for 5 full days of childcare, $475 for 3 days, and $375 for 2 days a week. Students majoring in Child Development use it in conjunction with some of their classes as a “lab school,” getting real-life experience in childcare, which is considerably smaller both in size and scale of operations. The FCS Lab School workers have a starting wage of


Drop By Today: Mon-Thurs: 10am to 8pm Fridays: 10am to 3pm

Call Us: (562) 494-1194 $3.99 SLICE AND A DRINK COMBO




On Campus Delivery Only Any Class, Office, or Dorm! All Major Credit Cards Accepted




$10 an hour, and get raises thereafter, although the worker to child ratio is only 1 to 6 at the preschool level and they employ a third less employees than the CDC. Some former employees of the CDC agree that their wages are not realistic for working college students. “I worked on the Purple Side [age 3.5 to 5] for three years, but after I left the dorms, I just couldn’t make ends meet. Now after two months of working at a coffee shop, I’m making more per hour than I did as a seasoned student teacher,” Kristen Preston, an English Education major said. While the CDC was built specifically for students and their children, faculty and community families are also welcome to apply for admission. There is a waiting list for entrance into the CDC, and parents can apply for the waiting list anytime, even when their child is still in utero. Student applicants are given first priority, followed by staff and faculty, alumni, and then community members. The Isabel Patterson CDC uses a very specific childcare philosophy that focuses on facilitating the emotional and social growth of children while still cultivating cognitive and physical development as well.


Something for people who still want their Union when the semesterly spoof comes out.