Page 30

AMAZON TRAIL

FEMMES AND THEIR GADGETS BY LEE LYNCH

It’s a shame, the things they don’t teach us at Butch School. In the Femme Gadgets class, I learned the basics of eyelash brushes and powdering noses and hoop, stud, drop, climber, and jacket earrings. The femme who has been cutting my hair for about twenty years was today appropriately made up and earring-ed, her own hair mostly blue with a complementary green streak along the part. She obviously has great fun with her various girly tools. But that’s not what she was all excited about. It was Vector, her Kickstarter miniature robot. Vector is not without its useful functions, but is mainly an adorable, irresistible gadget that has learned to say her name. Then, lo and behold, I arrive home and the mailperson has brought my sweetheart a five-inch fan. Small enough for travel, it runs off a USB energy source or batteries. It’s the most flexible little fan I’ve ever seen. She set it up and demonstrated its features one by

30 THESTANDARDPS.COM

one, including its big clamp, its three speeds, and the fact that it was for me. I’m staring it down as it challenges me to try it a day later, after I’ve forgotten all the instructions. My sweetheart also wears a Fitbit and figured out every one of its functions, though she reminds me that we haven’t yet checked her heart rate when kissing. When the arthritis in my thumbs flared up, she was the one who found me a nifty gadget that twists off bottlecaps and lifts up tabs to open cat food cans. She also found me an electric jar and bottle opener, which I’m still learning to use—she was an expert within five minutes. If I manage to position the clamps so they embrace a lid, I get stuck at the dismounting and the contents splatter all over the counter. Possibly the most exciting of her gadgets, which come free, except for taxes, through a reviewing program, was the little toy drone. She’s still trying to get it to work again after hours of setting

Profile for The Standard Magazine

TheStandard_Vol7_Issue5.pdf  

Your Source For LGBTQ News & Culture

TheStandard_Vol7_Issue5.pdf  

Your Source For LGBTQ News & Culture