family
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Beccy Golding on rites of passage for young people, workshops for step families, and the journey of a real nappy pioneer… Spring follies
Avon Wildlife Trust will be laying on an eggs-ellent eggs-travanza over Easter at Folly Farm and Willsbridge Mill. Young adventurers can discover and unscramble egg-citing facts about eggs laid around the nature reserves and follow a treasure hunt leading to chocolate eggs! Also Eggs-plore eggy crafts and try making your own nest (enough Egg Puns yet?!). There’ll be a special activity area for toddlers too. During the school holidays Avon Wildlife Trust are also running ‘Really Wild Activity’ sessions for playschemes and other childrens’ groups, including den-building and bushcraft, ponddipping and minibeast safaris. Grrrrr. Eggstravaganza: Tuesday April 6 at Folly Farm, Wednesday April 7 at Willsbridge Mill. Drop-in between 10.30am-12.30pm or 2-4pm. £6 per child over 4 yrs, Adults free. Search for info on Folly Farm or Willsbridge Mill via www.avonwildlifetrust.org.uk For ‘Really Wild’ sessions contact Ruth Worsley or Alison Logan 0117 932 6885, ruthworsley@avonwildlifetrust.org.uk
Model students
Animated plasticine characters are firmly linked to the West Country’s cultural identity and now you and your kids (aged 9+) can have a go at creating your own 3D animated film and have it showcased at Wiltshire Music Centre in Bradford-on-Avon. To start: a two-Saturday workshop where you’ll make your models, plan a story, then
Stepping out
using the latest computer technology, shoot your film and add sound effects. To finish: it’ll be shown during ‘Animation: Now…And Then!’ a live event at the Wiltshire Music Centre. Animation Now…And Then will take you on an animation journey, from the early days of cinema to Wallace and Gromit and Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, exploring stop-motion animation from 100 years ago to today. Some of the oldest animations were made before they knew how to add music, so Stephen Horne will be creating music to mirror what happens on-screen, including providing improvised, onthe-spot soundtracks to the brand new films made in the previous workshop.
2 day workshop: Saturday March 13 & 20, 10am-4.30pm. Under 18s: £30 for both days, accompanying adults £20. Animation Now… and Then! Event: Sunday March 28, 3pm. Adults £10, under18s £6. www.wiltshiremusic.org.uk Box Office: 01225 860100
Rites of passage S
Are you part of a step-family? Historically a step-parent usually stepped into the place of someone who had died, but in recent times a step-parent often steps into the place of a still-living parent. Stepping Stories is a two-day workshop exploring the dynamics of step-families, facilitated by Vivan Broughton, a systemic constellations facilitator and trainer, and Julia Vaughan-Smith, who has a coaching and psychotherapeutic background. Both of them are stepparents themselves. Using systemic constellations, and the personal experiences of the participants, the workshop will explore how family systems adjust and re-form, and how they are informed and influenced by unconscious dynamics, experiences and emotions. “Step families are highly complex,” Vivian says, “parents separate and take on new partners, and children have to negotiate more complicated parental arrangements. If not understood, subtle systemic dynamics such as trauma, loyalty, guilt and betrayal, can cause great disruption.” The workshop will explore these issues and look at how children and parents make sense of these changes and the resulting complex, sometimes conflicting emotions.
Teen tuning
If you’ve owned a car you may well have owned a Haynes manual: detailed, annotated descriptions of exactly what goes where and why for every model of car. What I didn’t know is that Haynes Publishing (based in Sparkford, near Yeovil) also publish non car-related manuals, the latest being the Teenager Manual (A Practical Guide For All Parents). I really like the tone of this book: it’s contemporary and based in reality; it doesn’t talk down to you; it acknowledges that parents have skills, and it offers advice around the difficult bits. There are even thoughtful sections for single dads with daughters, and single mums with sons, giving advice on how to approach subjects such as shaving and menstruation. I will definitely use this book in future! www.haynes.co.uk
Stepping Stories, March 6/7, in Bristol. Cost: £205. 0117 923 2797 or visit www.constellationswork.co.uk and click Systemic Constellations Workshops.
Beccy discovers a way for young people to mark their transition to adulthood
imply put, Jeremy Thres is an ‘environmental educationalist’. He works to help people reconnect with nature, (including their own nature), and supports people to grow into themselves. I talked to Jeremy about the work he is developing called LandTime, for young people aged 17-25. LandTime is a modern version of an ancient practice: an opportunity for young people to take time out of day-to-day life and experience living closer to the land in a community of peers, with the support of experienced elders. The ancient practice Jeremy is re-visiting and developing is the Rite of Passage, ‘a ritual or ceremony signifying an event in a person’s life indicative of a transition from one stage to Jeremy Thres another, as from adolescence to adulthood.’ In our culture it seems that we are missing these rites of passage for young men and women. The nearest I can think of is the ‘school prom’, ground from which a deeper connection with an import from the USA which consists of a big, both land and community can take place.” social dance party marking the end of secondary Another important aspect of LandTime is school. Other modern rites of passage might helping people find their affinities and work include passing your driving test, leaving home out what they’re drawn to and connected with. or going travelling on your ‘gap-year,’ etc. These The process acknowledges the talents and skills are events that many young people go through you already have but also supports you to learn that may make them feel more ‘adult’, but new ones, such as practical skills using different they don’t tend to be accompanied by a deeper materials. “For instance, one person might find ‘ceremony’ to support and mark the transition, they are drawn to working leather, another with or offer a clear jewellery, another welcoming with stone, another “One person might find they are drawn to working wood,” Jeremy says. from the wider community to with leather, another with jewellry, another with stone These affinities honour that can also be about and another with wood…” young person. exploring and Some religions finding a regular do have these physical practice. kinds of ceremonies, for example the Jewish bar “One of the teachings of many elders and, mitzvah, but in our (largely secular) society lots increasingly, science, is that having a regular of young people don’t have these opportunities. practice such as Tai Chi, meditation, drumming LandTime is a chance to get to know yourself or Yoga is something that supports our health as better. Jeremy says he believes in “planting an adult, so we offer a taste of various practices ancient seeds, such as that of the soul marriage. that can be pursued and continued through You cannot truly (at least healthily) marry life. The journey of finding such an affinity another, without first getting to deeply know can be rich, it can become a lifelong friend.” and commit to yourself.” These skills can also then be shared and used LandTime is also about knowing your to contribute to the community (something environment and connecting with nature. “This young people might have been doing at a much was a natural given in the indigenous cultures younger age in previous times throughout in which rites of passage were the norm,” history). says Jeremy. “Our intention is to recover that LandTime is a five to ten-day programme. connection for young people as part of the Leaders share other practical skills such as
wood-chopping, water-gathering, cooking and building shelters that will prepare the participants for another important aspect: ‘alone time’. There are opportunities for fasting and time alone, varying from 24 hours to three days, as the young person feels ready. ‘Alone time’ marks a period of learning more about yourself and mark the transitions that young people are going through in a different way. To accompany his work with young people Jeremy is building a team of elders. “It’s important that those offering the work have a thorough grounding in it. Fortuitously it can also support and serve you whatever age you come to it, for there are many changes in life.” To this end he also provides talks, consultancy, and training on rites of passage and ‘alone time’, which he believes have been missing from our culture for a long time. I asked Jeremy what sparked him to do this work. “I’ve always been interested in reconnecting with nature,” he says, “it’s a gift to be connected – a joy to see the turning of seasons – many people are missing something that is freely available, and bigger than we realise.” His first personal rite of passage was a Vision Quest (a ceremony most commonly associated with Native American teachings) in Russia 17 years ago, going on to study the pattern of such rites panculturally and working with a number of indigenous elders both in this country and beyond. “That first quest was a real awakening for me,” he says. “I’m particularly struck by how this beautiful balance of community and alone time works, how they both feed and nourish each other.” Jeremy has been delivering and developing this work ever since, with LandTime being the latest incarnation. ‘I love the work because it’s about reconnecting people, resourcing them. We leave something behind, yet in doing so can return hopefully refreshed with fresh gifts and a bit more Shine.” The next LandTime session will be at the end of May. Jeremy also runs Introductory weekends. Contact him for more info, dates, or if you are interested in becoming part of a community of elders. Jeremy Thres 01647 221444, email ojl1@btconnect
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Gary Lamont, nappy chappie
Nappies. Not the most joyous part of parenting, but an essential one. I’m a 33-year-old father of two, and if someone had told me 10 years ago that I’d be spreading the real nappy message across Wiltshire, I’d have run a mile! My wife Daisy and I were living in Northern Ireland when our first child was born. We wanted to use a real nappy laundry service so we could avoid disposables but nobody was doing it over there. In the end, we set up Blooming Bottoms, Northern Ireland’s first real nappy laundry service, and started promoting sustainable parenting alternatives (breast-feeding /organic weaning, etc). We re-used packaging, used washable nappy bags and drove an electric van powered by wind energy: brilliant unless you forgot to charge it and ran out of juice halfway up a mountain! I remain grateful to the kind lady and gentleman who not only helped push the van to their house but also let me plug it in and charge it so I could get home! The laundry service was also run on electric wind power. We both love live music and festivals and had everything we needed to do the festie season, except the money. So we contacted The Big Green Gathering and asked if they would like us to provide a free on-site nappy laundry service. They said yes! Through this and other festivals we’ve met many wonderful, awe-inspiring people, using so many different and innovative ways to educate and inspire people. Much of what I learnt about environmentally sustainable ways of working gets incorporated into what I do today.
“We set up Blooming Bottoms, Northern Ireland’s first real nappy laundry service… we drove an electric van powered by wind energy: brilliant unless you forget to charge it and run out of juice halfway up a mountain!”
Blooming Bottoms ceased trading in 2007, although the business was doing well, because we were offered the chance to move onto a ‘microholding’ in the wilds of Wiltshire. Closing the business in Northern Ireland is right up there amongst the saddest things I’ve ever done, but we had always wanted to live on a smallholding so we grasped the opportunity and never looked back. Even back in England, though, the lure of nappies was never far away! I am now Real Nappy Co-ordinator for Wiltshire and I love it. I still have contact with many people from my Blooming Bottoms days and we still provide free nappy services at many festivals. The job has to have some perks, doesn’t it?! So what sparks me? People. The environment is something that people are concerned with but not everyone realises the changes they themselves can make. Issues such as the real nappy campaign have come so far since I first got involved. The best way I learnt about how to make a difference was simply through listening to passionate, articulate people, from all walks of life, talking about what drives and motivates them. I think we’ve each got to try to instill within ourselves and others values that promote responsible environmental stewardship of our planet and compassionate global awareness, not only for our benefit, but for the benefit of generations to come. If you’re interested in finding out more about what I do, about real nappies or other sustainable parenting issues, get in touch with the Nappy Man. Gary Lamont 01380 725670 ext 236, email GaryL@wiltshirewildlife.org, Real Nappy Week is April 26-May 2, Go Real: The Real Nappy Information Service: www.goreal.org.uk