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FO MO this month: > Mojo Interview > Wilding Pines Volunteer Days > Why Burning Man Is For You > Whatâ€™s the Source Shakedown?
BEST DRESSED Ladies First Downhill Evening BBQ from 8pm
DJ CUZ from 10pm 2
thismonth... the chapter where you just go with the flow. Turn your phone off, stop snapchatting your junk and stop being obsessed with everything all the time. Slide under the radar and be the quiet achiever – skip the shit that isn’t awesome. Pick one thing and own it. Multi tasking is so 2012. Stop being a chickenshit and forget what you think you are missing out on, true story; you’re not. Turn off Facebook, close the blinds, powerdown the Sega, sit in a chair and read this issue of The Source. It’s a gooder, we think you’ll like it. If not, you totally missed out on something while you were reading… Source Out.
FOMO – the fear of missing out. We’ve all been there, we’ve all dragged ourselves to too many things just in case they were rad. Hands up if you went snowboarding hungover this winter, hit three parties in one night and consumed enough Breaking Bad before the final that you looked like you were on meth? I can do everything. I must do everything. I will do a shit job at everything because I don’t want to miss out on anything. Yeah, how’s that working out for you? Here at The Source we know this game, it’s kicked our arse before too. So we are turning over to a new page –
EDITOR: Scott Kennedy: email@example.com Advertising: Sophie Kennedy: 021 339 173 firstname.lastname@example.org Construction: Tim @ Fluid 03 442 6739 email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org 021 341 249 SNail us: PO Box 689, Queenstown, NZ FACEBOOK: the source mag queenstown 3
Exit Facebook. Close laptop. Get into bed. Unlock phone. Check Facebook. True story.
By NED MYOPUS
Burning Man Dirty hippies. Raver kids farting glitter. Pseudo Mad Max wannabes. Drugs. Sex. Sex and drugs. Art. Mischief. Music. Mayhem. Fire. Dust. Dehydration. Doof-doof. Welcome to Burning Man. You may have heard of this American festival. Maybe you know somebody who’s been. Maybe you’ve thought about going. Maybe you’ve thrown the idea around the same cavalier way people suggest ‘riding a moped through Italy’. It sounds cool but it never happens. So what is it? Should you go, is the hype worth the price of admission? Burning Man has hit some sort of cultural critical mass. It’s gone from decades of stereotypes - lovable losers laid bare to something approaching the mainstream zeitgeist. Every August 50K of humanity mass in the desert of Nevada and live the simple life for a week. Totally self contained, radical self-reliance in the harshest environment on the planet - all while dressed in the most ridiculous outfits in history. Tutus and dust storms were never meant to meet. So why go? What’s the deal? Imagine a town the size of Queenstown where
for a week every house decided to put on a theme party every night. Some of the parties are weird some are sedate. Some are filled with the most amazing art you’ve ever seen and some are what Ibiza was in ’97. You can go to bed every night at nine and just look at rad art and have the best week of your life. Or you can stay awake for 5 days straight and find a telephone to speak to the gods and have the same experience. No, it’s not a music festival; there aren’t stages or shows. It isn’t some neohippy gathering; it isn’t some kind of narcotic dystopian anarchy either. You can fight in Thunderdome with foam bats and ride on a full sized Spanish Gallion across the desert. You can lose yourself and find yourself. You can get messed up and you can fall in love. You can get inspired and you can remember what really is important in this world. Or you can forget all of it. Go if you want – but if you go and you really ‘go’ both you and Burning Man will be better for it.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
By THE QUEEN
firstworldproblems Sufferers are said to find Instagram the most depressing social network, with other people’s pictures of perfection being implicit and explicit cues of wealth, happiness and success which provokes immediate social comparison. This is plain, oldfashioned jealousy in disguise, combined with a vulgar lack of self control and an age where every feeling of inadequacy has to be analysed, diagnosed and labelled. It is nothing more than a firstworld problem. The Twitter feed of a FOMO sufferer usually goes something as follows: Should I lunch with the girls or supervise the gardener? #fml #woeisme I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops. #heartpalpitations My fear of missing out is wreaking havoc on my bank balance. #FOMOmademedoit #crazyandbroke Whatever happened to real issues? If a person is constantly fearful that others are living more fulfilling and exciting lives then it’s not an anxiety disorder, it’s probably the truth. Take a deep breath and resign yourself to a life of inferiority, or get over it.
New research that was probably a lunchtime survey conducted by a Psychology undergraduate has exposed that 70% of people suffer with the fear of missing out in their day to day lives. The study, which recognises the fear as an actual real-life anxiety disorder, claims that feeling left out makes sufferers end up taking financial risks out of fear of not keeping up with their peers. The problem is being blamed on over exposure to - you guessed it - enemies of society: the smartphone and social media. These are also to blame for cancer, radiation and teen suicide if you weren’t already aware. Yeah, that’s right: the picture of your poutine that you just Instagrammed into art probably just gave someone a nose bleed. As far as irrational fears go, FOMO (yet another acronym to learn, FML) has to rank even higher on the stupidity scale than my friend’s fear of baked beans. FOMO differs somewhat significantly however, in that ‘sufferers’ are anxious of feeling left out or not up to date. They don’t have a phobia of anything tangible, they have an obsessive compulsion to click the refresh button, and therefore logically it is actually the ‘fear’ of absolutely nothing at all. 6
do or diy DIY Cinema
Next up, the fixtures, cleaning and reupholstering (or at least trying to) half of a salvo’s worth of antique furniture. Step 3 - Dark night of the soul. We arranged. Had a beer. Rearranged. Had another beer. The “This was harder than I thought, but at least I learned something” step, which is a weird way to arrive at a childhood dream. A dream I realised isn’t just mine but shared by nearly everyone I work with. If this thing works, it will be our arrival at another collective dream. If it doesn’t work, we’ll have built Queenstown’s only 90% accurate replica of Eric’s basement from That 70’s Show.
What the hell are we going to put there? I was feeling optimistic when I shouted “Theatre!” Ladies and Gentlemen this point of a project has become known in our circle as “The top of the check” or the “Oh My God This Is The Best Idea Ever” phase. I knew exactly what I was thinking, it was somewhere along the lines of; summer nights, dreary days, cold beer and proliferating really, really good movies. Then came the licensing, planning, logistics. A step on our linear line down, “Wow, this is harder than I thought.”
You can keep track of Chris and his exploits at: bearandshark.com
WTF? Jemal Tkeshelashvili, from Georgia, is a superhuman with a very unique ability. He can blow up hot water bottles to the point where they explode, with his nose. Jemal currently holds the Guinness World Record for most hot water bottles burst with the nose in one minute. What Jemal does is quite extraordinary considering most people can barely blow up a balloon with their nose. You might think it’s his lungs that do all the work, but tests have shown that his lungs are not much different than those of an average healthy person. He has good pulmonary volume, but it’s the force
with which he’s capable of pushing out the air that makes him special. That means his strong intercostal and abdominal muscles push out all the air in his lungs really fast, creating enormous pressure. In 2009, the 23-year-old judo practitioner set a new record for most hot water bottles burst with the nose in one minute, managing to explode three. 8
TECHNOFILE Do you have a complex about your nose? Then reach for the Hana Twin Nose, a much cheaper alternative to plastic surgery and it doesnâ€™t hurt either! The makers reckon that 20 minutes per day is enough to strengthen and straighten your nose to help you achieve that perfect nasal profile you so desire! 9
QUEENSTOWN ROCKS By MATT BOOTH
This moNth The Source catches up with Mojo frontman and bon viveur Shay Muddle. So how’s the world of Mojo, how long you been on the go now? It’s been about four years now, kind of after the Cartel came to an end. We’re gigging, getting prepared for a busy summer season! Yeah, it’s looking good, but we’re minus one now, Sam our guitarist is leaving town! What do you do when that happens, do you find it difficult to get new talent in? In this case, we’re quite lucky cos we have Pol, who’s a great guitarist, he’ll just take on a bit more work. It’s good with two guitarists, but you don’t need it. We’ve got Pearly, myself, Rachel, Jodi and Pol. If we’d never had another guitarist, and started out as a five piece, I’d say “this is a bloody awesome band!”. Sam’s a pretty exceptional guitarist though. The theme this month for The Source is FOMO. With Mojo is it a case of playing everything you’re offered or do you tend to be more selective? We could go for more gigs in more bars, but just we’d burn out, and then we’d be really sick of it. We’re happy with
what we’re doing, playing The Find, and we like to play at the Vinyl Underground every so often, and when World Bar starts up next year we’re definitely be in there; it’s my favourite gig, a lot of fun! We’d like more corporate work, more money for less work! What do you think of the live music scene at the moment? Could Queenstown do with more venues? For touring bands, well, the World Bar had it covered for the smaller bands, which could fit 2-400. Vinyl Underground is trying to capture that market now, they’ve got a good stage and a good PA system. As far as a bigger venue for bigger bands, it wouldn’t be used that much. Maybe a new convention centre? I think that’s the only place that would be viable. Finally, what’s the most rock and roll thing that Shay Muddle has every got up to? It’s pretty pathetic really, and we wouldn’t put that in The Source. Not if my daughter was going to read it - not if anyone was going to read it!
We’re off to see the Wizard…
thumbs UP Spring energy The Shakedown Queenstown Mountain Bike Club The Empanada Kitchen
thumbs DOWN No more skiing those Wild fires - watch fag butts Missing out! G out) FOGO (fear of GOIN NG out) DI FOFO (fear of FIN 11
TOPsigns: You have fomo
• Endlessly checking facebook • Endlessly checking email • Endlessly surfing the internet • Constantly texting • Constantly phoning friends • Watching mindless celebrity reality TV • Going out when you should be staying in • Dropping priorities at the first hint of something better going on
If you suck at playing the trumpet, that’s probably why.
Don’t trust Munchkins. It’s a solid philosophy and here at The Source we stick to it. That said who doesn’t love a bit of musical theatre, on ice. The Queenstown Ice Skating Club is putting the final touches on their production of The Wizard of Oz, set to skate up a storm at the Queenstown Ice Arena on the 4th and 5th of October. You don’t have to be a friend of Dorothy to get right behind this one. It’ll be a good laugh with the local club spending most of the winter getting ready for the show. Tickets are still available and this is a great way to support some nice folks up to some good old family fun. If it’s past the 5th then you’ve totally missed out. And it was awesome.
Every summer a growing team of tireless volunteers sets off into our precious backcountry with saws, hatchets and loppers on a quest to protect our natural heritage. Saving the environment with saws? Sounds like a contradiction for sure but these guys are fighting a war and they are our last line of defence.
metres in Otago. Wildings invade alpine and lowland areas quickly closed canopy can occur within 10 to 20 years. They out-compete and suppress native vegetation. They potentially form a monoculture, reducing the bio-diversity. Once the canopy closes very little native flora will survive due to lack of light and competition for water and nutrients.
Wilding pines are unwanted pests that reduce biodiversity, dominate native species, disrupt water runoff and lower the amenity values of the landscape. They also over-run and replace native beech forests and tussock.
The The Wakatipu Wilding Conifer Control Group Incorporated (WCG) is a community organisation created in April 2009 as a charitable ‘notfor-profit’ organisation. The focus is on protecting the biodiversity and remarkable landscape of the Wakatipu, for the benefits of residents, users, tourists and particularly future generations of kiwis.
Exotic conifers have no natural control in New Zealand and can grow to well above our natural tree line which is between 900 and 1,100
I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to narcotics and alcohol. I break out in handcuffs. Robert Downey Jr
WINNING THE BATTLE
ONE CHOP AT A TIME None of this is possible without the help of volunteers... If youâ€™d like to join in and you have some spare time in the coming months the WCG would like to hear from you. For more information and to register interest, please contact Grant McLennan at: Grant.McLennan@qldc.govt.nz Information on wildings: http://www.wakatipuwilding.co.nz/
The WCG group is presently finalising plans for their annual assault on the wilding invaders. This year they have decided to target 4 dates over the summer and hope to boost numbers by issuing the dates well in advance: Nov 16th 2013 Jan 18th 2014 Feb 15th 2014 March 15th 2014 Each is a Saturday with the Sunday as the reserve for bad weather.
DON’T MISS OUT Verdelho! Don’t be left out in the cold on this remarkable wine. Easy to drink… not so easy to say. Ver-dell-oh. Actually, not really that hard to say either. What is it? It’s a grape grown widely in Portugal, but also found in Spain, Argentina and more latterly, Australia. The Aussies are making a dry style which is so expressive, there is no need to blend it with anything else. It is a zingy wine, full of tropical fruit character, lime and honeysuckle, but balanced by refreshing acidity. Older (correctly cellared) examples often display an oily texture and the grape’s resilience to hotter climates makes it perfect for growing across the Tasman. True - it’s not the easiest thing to find in the shops but with a little hunting you will be rewarded. Check out Wine Tastes in Beach Street, or look through the fancy new wine section at New World. Once all your mates are up with the pronunciation you should have a happy summer supping the fruits of this interesting and different grape variety.
ROLL UP ROLL UP LADIES AND GENTS. WE,LL ONLY SAY THIS ONCE... CALLING ALL BARMEN AND BARWOMEN this November Queenstown will witness the inaugural ‘Olympics of Bar Culture’, the Source Shakedown, We are looking for one representative from every self-respecting bar in town to stand up and be counted for a series of tests of skill, chance and downright trickery culminating in a quest to claim the title of:
n there ca one only be and it’s not ly probab is you. Or it?
AR STT he Of
es huge priz g includin g somethin nice for your ece mantelpi
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FOR A FULL RUNDOWN ON THE SHAKEDOWN VISIT OUR FB PAGE - THE SOURCE MAG QUEENSTOWN 15
BELOW ZERO ICE BAR
ABOUT: Australasia’s largest ice bar designed by New Zealand’s original Ice Bar pioneer, Below Zero is right in the heart of town. Over 35 tonnes of crystal clear ice imported from North America has been professionally carved by two of the world’s top ice carvers to create a sculptured ice masterpiece; from the bar, the leaners, the bar stools, the chandelier, even the glasses are made of ice! Everything! Features include a full size ice gondola, photo booth and it’s the first Ice Bar in the world to include a real gas fire. SPECIALTIES: Vodka Cocktails and alcoholfree Mocktails. SOURCE SAYS: Experience the Antarctic elements in a friendly fun environment. Warm clothing is provided (coats, gloves etc). Opening Times: 12noon -late Food: Available but it’s all about the cocktails Bookings: Recommended Music: Yep. Outdoor area: No need
BELOW ZERO ICE BAR Searle Lane, Queenstown New Zealand P: 03 409 0040 email@example.com 16
ABOUT: One of Queenstown’s hard to find little gems, The Bunker is an intimate, rustic, fine dining and late night cocktail bar with a lounge-style outdoor deck. The focus is on great service in a unique rooftop location. An old locals’ favourite. SPECIALTIES: Cocktails, fine dining, DJs. SOURCE SAYS: This is the bar with the best two barstools in town. Get in early and stake your claim.
Opening Times: 5pm - 4am Food: Some of Queenstown’s finest Bookings: Recommended Music: DJs after dinner Outdoor area: Yes, with open fire
The Bunker Cow Lane, Queenstown New Zealand P: 64 (0) 3 441 8030 firstname.lastname@example.org 17
‘Yiminy Cricket!’ exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic in his hands. ‘Vere dit yew git dat monster?’ ‘Vell,’ replied Ole, ‘I got it from my Genie.’ ‘You haff a Genie?’ Sven asked. ‘Ya, shure. It’s right here in my tackle box,’ says Ole. ‘Could I see him?’ Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough out pops the Genie. Addressing the Genie, Sven says, ‘Hey dere! I’m a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?’ ‘Yes, I will,’ says the Genie. So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks. The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting. Soon the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks flying directly overhead. Over the roar of the million ducks Sven yells at Ole, ‘Yumpin’ Yimminy, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!’ Ole answers, ‘Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10” Bic?”
events . entertainment . arts . culture
Teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says: “I wanna be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, get me the finest bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe and an Infinite Visa Card, while banging her three times a day”. The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this response, decides not to acknowledge what he said and tries to continue with the lesson. “And how about you, Sarah, what do you want to be?” “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch”. .......................................................... Ole and Sven were fishing when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light. ‘Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,’ he replied and then reaching into his tackle box he pulled out a Bic lighter 10” long.
NEXTMONTH: As you’ve probably gathered, The Source runs with a theme each month. Why? Just because we can. We’d also like you to know what’s coming up next month so you can join in and have your say. We’re keen to hear from artists, writers, photographers, DJs and opinionated freaks - especially if you’ve got something you want us to publish or you’ve got something you need to get off your chest... Next month’s issue flies under the banner of:
Nothing ruins humpday like not getting humped.
“revolution” if you’d like to contribute email us: www.thesourceonline.com
ON SALE NOW
GONDOLA ACCESS TO QUEENSTOWN BIKE PARK
Season runs Sept 26 - May 4* Trails for all abilities For all the latest updates: skyline.co.nz/queenstown/mountain-biking queenstownbikepark.co.nz *Visit our website for blackout dates
send yours to: email@example.com
As a long time local I’m angry and offended that the local government and now local business are considering building a convention centre. I like Queenstown the way it is - there are already enough foreign tourists around, we should be catering to a different market. I look at the vast number of potential weekend visitors from the South of the country as the prime target market of the Queenstown of the future. The money these rural visitors spend here in Queenstown is just as valuable and by catering for a Kiwi crowd we will only increase the popularity of our town to these traditional visitors. We don’t need a convention centre, we just need to embrace ‘real’ Kiwis with open arms. “Longtime Local”
Dear The Source, As an American here for the season I’m learning a lot about you Kiwis. You guys seem to love all these odd sports that nobody cares about anyplace else in the world. Yacht racing? Isn’t that just rich dudes flaunting their money? Woman’s Shot Put - is that even a sport? Rugby - how can you be world champs in a sport that only like 6 countries actually do. Rowing? Yawn. Don’t get me wrong, NZ is pretty beautiful and stuff, but you guys really need to come up with some better sports to cheer about. Luke Chapman, New York
Can’t believe you haven’t seen... searching for sugar man This is the incredible true story of Rodriguez, the greatest ‘70s rock icon who never was. Discovered in a Detroit bar in the late ‘60s by two celebrated producers struck by his soulful melodies and prophetic lyrics, they recorded an album which they believed would secure his reputation as the greatest recording artist of his generation. In fact, the album bombed and the singer disappeared into obscurity amid rumours of a gruesome onstage suicide. But a bootleg recording found its way into apartheid South Africa and, over the next two decades, he became a phenomenon. The film follows the story of two South African fans who set out to find out what really happened to their hero. Their investigation leads them to a story more extraordinary than any of the existing myths about the artist known as Rodriguez. Sony Pictures 20
The return of the infamous Source Secret Shopping Crew
Where did all this ice cream come from? All of a sudden downtown Queenstown is floating on a sea of frozen milk products. Just in time for summer the crew at Source Labs have tasted, tested, crunched the numbers and use their surprisingly scientific skills to decide once and for all, what’s the best ice cream in QT. The team hand selected for this mission was the Special Forces of ice cream. Who’s ice cream really for anyway – kids. Our testing crew consisted of four ice cream aficionados all under the age of majority. We sent them off to The Big Four – Patagonia, Lick, Mr. Whippy and Movenpick - to see what measured up over a host of categories. Taste, Texture, Value for Money, Shop Service, Optional Extras, Chunkiness, Shop Atmosphere and their overall favourite ice cream. To keep it fair the test team had Hokey Pokey (or as close as they could get) at each shop, in a cup all one after another. Yes, it’s a tough job sometimes. The results were unsurprisingly close – we do have some good ice cream here in Queenie. The overall winner was… Mr. Whippy, followed closely by Patagonia and Movenpick in a dead heat with Lick only a point or two behind. Unsurprisingly our younger testers dug the atmosphere and gummy bear options at Mr. Whippy. Patagonia was the clear winner on the taste front and a Movenpick scored high on the shop atmosphere with a high-brow feel to the show. Lick divided opinions with the size of their Hokey (or is that Pokey?) in their ice cream – the meteor size chunk is great – unless your brother Bogarts it from you as you are about to dig in. Mr. Whippy for the kids, Movenpick if you’re on a date, Lick if you want to grab and go, Patagonia if you take your ice cream seriously. Special thanks to the crew at Source Labs – Marcus, Toby, Jeremy and Olivia. Top work team.
It’s easier to stay out than get out. Mark Twain
THEQUESTFORTHEBEST: ICE CREAM
MOVING PICTURES By SCOTT KENNEDY
Youth OF Yangon
Local Filmmaker James Holman is no stranger to attention. For the last couple of years his brand of awesome has been a hot commodity both herE in Queenie and overseas. He’s shot film in Antarctica, Africa and lots of other places that start with A. Holman has made films about all sorts of cool stuff, but his first love of Skateboarding is what really blows his flowing locks back. He started a half decade ago with Altered Focus his award-winning documentary about the fledgling skate scene in Burma. Yes, Burma. The follow-up to this film, Youth of Yangon has just hit the webs and is ready to download for your extended viewing pleasure.
Returning to Burma, this film traces the growth of youth culture in this quickly evolving country. We’ve seen it and it rocks. It’s everything a good doco should be; smart, engaging, beautifully shot and a real eye opener. Get into it, a digi-download will only run you a buck and half, cheap as chips and a cool way to get behind a local-as rising film star. To download the flick – hit this link: http:// vimeo.com/ ondemand/ youthofyangon
Check out the Source TeeVee profile of Holman: http://vimeo. com/61394791
Chicken & Leek Risoni
Ingredients 1 leek, (quartered and sliced), 1 cup risoni, 2 cloves garlic, Oil, 2 tsp cumin, fresh spinach leaves, 1 litre chicken stock, 2 skinless chicken breasts Method: Heat a little oil in saucepan and cook garlic and leek. Add cumin; stir a few minutes. Add chicken stock and chicken breasts and poach for about 20 minutes. Take
out breasts and shred with 2 forks. Add risoni to stock and cook till soft. Add shredded chicken and spinach and serve.
STEAK RECESSION NIGHT SESSION H UG E STEAKS
ff 50% sdoay
every Thur 4pm from
FIRESID E SUNDAY LIVE MUSIC FROM 5PM
$5 PINTS $5 WINE
12 Church Street. P: 4500 008 W: montysbar.co.nz 23
Here’s our take on your month ahead. If you’re looking for spiritual guidance this is not the place... Libra – Life is too short to be unhappy, smile while you still have teeth.
Aries – You never know what you have until you clean your room. Taurus – Why fall in love when you can fall asleep? Gemini – Life is too short to remove the USB safely. Cancer – You are lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag. Leo – Imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told.
Scorpio – You look really funny doing that with your head. Sagittarius - You can work well when under constant supervision. Capricorn – You have lovely hair the kind I’d like to pull out. Aquarius – Time is precious, waste it wisely.
Virgo – You have good taste but no money to prove it.
Pisces – I’ve got one nerve left and you’re getting on it!
WIN booty THIS MONTH YOU CAN WIN: $50 Bar tab from the pig & whistle
Bottle of zumwohl PLUM SCHNAPPS
Last month WE HAD X2 WINNERS IN TOTAL. . IF YOU’D LIKE some booty for you and your crew Email: WIN@THESOURCEONLINE.COM WITH YOUR NAME and NUMBER and YOU’RE IN THE DRAW. EASY PEASY.THIS MONTH IT COULD BE YOU SO GET YOUR ENTRIES IN...
JOIN IN ON FB for more chances to win: “source mag queenstown” 24
RHYMIN’ By SIMON HERBERT
the baker’s daughter I’d meet her down in Pinner on the High Street We’d kiss and she’d hand me a sweet meat Dressed in her whites she smelt like a fresh loaf of Rye Hot cross between Diana and Dietrich Her cigarettes all tipped with red lipstick And when this girl baked, the flour sure would fly I looked into her eyes and I told her No better buns than the baker’s daughter So pass me the dough let’s make some loaves She showed me how to put the jam in the doughnuts That was the first that was the very first time
The coffee’s still the same great Addicqtion fix • Our new brekkie and lunch menus are full of great dishes to warm and tempt you • Post Office Café toastie and welcoming this Spring
I loved to knead her dough when she asked me I loved to twist the plats in her pastry And when they were hot I liked to watch her baps rise Her croissants melt and there are no better crumpets The best muffins baked my strawberry stumpet Then she’d turn and say how do ya want me tonight She showed me how to heat up the oven And I wasn’t shy I wasn’t shy No better buns than the baker’s daughter No better buns than the bakers daughter So pass me the dough let’s make some loaves
Ballarat Street Queenstown
*Sign up at PO Café for your loyalty card - your passport to four great dining spots
Keep up with Alpharocket: facebook.com/Alpharocket 25
Drinking rum before 10am makes you a pirate NOT an alcoholic
By ADAM SARACENO
Sorry NZ, You’re Missing Out
Clean the Marmite from your ears, Kiwis. Wipe the mutton pie off your face. Carefully remove your possum fUr nipple warmers for just a second and listen up. You’re missing out big time. America (or as its natives call it, ‘Merica) is where it’s at. Alright, don’t get your gumboots stuck in the manure over this. It’s fact. ‘Merica has things that you could only dream of having. Ever seen the show America’s Got Talent? Fact: you need 300 million people in your country in order to find enough talent to support an entire TV show. Come again? You have a show called New Zealand’s Got Talent, sustained by the aptitudes and eccentricities of a mere 4 million people? So you’ve got flair. Bad example. Monster Trucks. What’s more ‘Merican than taking a useful mode of transport, chucking a 2000 HP engine in it, jacking it up on $15,000 tyres and using it to recreationally drive short, walkable distances? Superfluous car-having is a ‘Merican pastime, just like baseball, deepfried Twinkies and superfluous gun-having. Clearly NZ can’t shake a Kauri stick at the ‘Merican monster truck scene. Say what? There’s a place in Wanaka where anybody can
drive monster trucks around? Must be a new thing. Whatever floats your boat, Kiwis. Boats! Don’t even try to get a Yank going about regattas – the premier yacht-racing trophy in the world is named the ‘Merica’s Cup for a reason. Huh? New Zealand has won more titles than ‘Merica in the last 20 years? Sounds like a fluke. Bet you wish you had some badass mountains and volcanoes like ‘Merica does. What? Your entire subcontinent is a volcanic subduction zone? Well don’t tie a victory knot in your rattail just yet, Hamish. You forgot that ‘Merica is home to thousands of miles of beaches. New Zealand’s coast is over 75% the size of ‘Merica’s? Jesus-John-Keysus, you have to be kidding. You’re definitely missing out on the ‘Merican food scene – when was the last time you shoved a grapefruitsized burger in your face? Last night. On Shotover Street. At 2am. This is ridiculous. Fine. Kiwi’s aren’t missing out on the bounties that ‘Merica has to offer. A piece of advice: try to be a little less gloaty and pretentious about it. 26
in Photo: Jan Ca
GIGGUIDE Wed 9 OCT
mon 30 SEP
THE FIND :: Live music with Mojo 9pm.
THE FIND :: DJ Comissar.
tue 1 OCT
thu 10 OCT
LONE STAR :: Free poker with Cardsharks, register 9pm. Cash game THE FIND :: DJ Gee.
BUNKER :: Timewarp with DJ Stevie G and guests, 80s funky/disco/house. MONTY’S :: The Night Watchmen at 9pm. LONE STAR :: Country Thursday, come dressed to impress. THE FIND :: DJ Mr Feet.
Wed 2 OCT
THE FIND :: DJ Comissar.
thu 3 OCT
fri 11 OCT
BUNKER :: Timewarp with DJ Stevie G and guests, 70s funk/disco/house. MONTY’S :: Live music from 9pm. LONE STAR :: Country Thursday, come dressed to impress. THE FIND :: DJ Mr Feet.
PIG & WHISTLE :: The Mutz Nutz at 9pm. BUNKER :: Ribera, deep tech/sexy house. MONTY’S :: Live music with DJ Dani from 9pm. LONE STAR :: DJ Just Cause from 10pm. THE FIND :: DJ Stubacca.
fri 4 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: The Hamiltones at 9pm. BUNKER :: DJ Dick Ingal, deep house. MONTY’S :: Live music from 9pm. LONE STAR :: DJ Just Cause from 10pm. THE FIND :: DJ Stubacca.
sat 12 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: Kayne and Co at 9pm. BUNKER :: Dan and Cuz “Still Getting It”, funky uplifting house. MONTY’S :: Live music with Matty and Jon from 9pm. LONE STAR :: DJ Jules upstairs 10pm. THE FIND :: DJ Stubacca.
sat 5 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: Karaoke at 9pm. BUNKER :: DJ JT, funky house/retro fusion. MONTY’S :: Live music from 9pm. LONE STAR :: Kid Called Kayne 10pm. THE FIND :: DJ Stubacca.
sun 13 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: Pol at 6pm. BUNKER :: Sunday Session 6pm to late with all our resident DJs. MONTY’S :: The Mutz Nutz from 9pm. THE FIND :: DJ Doolittle.
sun 6 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: Jamie & Dan live at 6pm. MONTY’S :: Live music with Matty and John from 9pm. THE FIND :: DJ Doolittle.
mon 14 OCT
THE FIND :: Live music with Mojo 9pm.
tue 15 OCT
mon 7 OCT
LONE STAR :: Free poker with Cardsharks, register at 9pm. Cash game. THE FIND :: DJ Gee.
THE FIND :: Live music with Mojo 9pm
tue 8 OCT
LONE STAR :: Free poker with Cardsharks, register at 9pm. Cash game. THE FIND :: DJ Gee.
Wed 16 OCT
THE FIND :: DJ Comissar. 28
thu 17 OCT
fri 25 OCT
BUNKER :: Timewarp with DJ Stevie G and guests, 90s electronic house. MONTY’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 9pm. LONE STAR :: Country Thursday, come dressed to impress. THE FIND :: DJ Mr Feet.
PIG & WHISTLE :: The Mutz Nutz at 9pm. BUNKER :: DJ Ribera, deep tech/sexy house. MONTY’S :: Live music with Freefall from 9pm. LONE STAR :: DJ Just Cause from 10pm. THE FIND :: DJ Stubacca.
fri 18 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: Freefall at 9pm. BUNKER :: DJ Dick Ingal, deep house. MONTY’S :: The Hamiltones at 9pm. LONE STAR :: DJ Just Cause from 10pm. THE FIND :: DJ Stubacca.
sat 26 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: The Hamiltones at 9pm. BUNKER :: Dan and Cuz “Still Getting It”, funky uplifting house. MONTY’S :: Live music from 9pm. LONE STAR :: DJ Julz upstairs from 10pm. THE FIND :: DJ Stubacca.
sat 19 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: The Mutz Nutz 9pm. BUNKER :: DJ JT, retro fusion/funky house. MONTY’S :: All Blacks vs Australia 7.30pm. LONE STAR :: All Blacks vs Australia 7.30pm. Kid Called Kayne 10pm. THE FIND :: DJ Stubacca.
sun 27 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: Kayne and Sam at 6pm. BUNKER :: Sunday Session 6pm to late with all our resident DJs. MONTY’S :: SUMMER ALE PARTY! Live music. THE FIND :: DJ Doolittle.
sun 20 OCT
PIG & WHISTLE :: Jamie & Dan live at 6pm. MONTY’S :: Live music with Freefall from 9pm. THE FIND :: DJ Doolittle.
THE FIND :: Live music with Mojo 9pm.
mon 21 OCT
tue 29 OCT
mon 28 OCT
THE FIND :: Live music with Mojo 9pm.
LONE STAR :: Free poker with Cardsharks, register at 9pm. Cash game. THE FIND :: DJ Gee.
tue 22 OCT
LONE STAR :: Free poker with Cardsharks, register 9pm. Cash game. THE FIND :: DJ Gee.
Wed 30 OCT
Wed 23 OCT
THE FIND :: DJ Comissar.
thu 24 OCT
BUNKER :: Timewarp with DJ Stevie G and guests, 70s funk/disco/house. MONTY’S :: The Hamiltones live 9pm. LONE STAR :: Lone Star’s Girls bike night with prizes and BBQ. HALLOWEEN PARTY! THE FIND :: DJ Mr Feet.
thu 31 OCT
THE FIND :: DJ Comissar. BUNKER :: Timewarp with DJ Stevie G and guests, 2000s funky sexy house. MONTY’S :: The Night Watchmen 9pm. LONE STAR :: Country Thursday, come dressed to impress. THE FIND :: DJ Mr Feet. 29
COMING UP AROUND THE REGION QUEENSTOWN
ANNUAL TROLLY RACE :: SAT 2 NOV ARROWTOWN BOMBSHELLS :: 4 NOV ATHENAEUM HALL, ARROWTOWN YOU GOTTA BE JOKING ::30 NOV ATHENAEUM HALL, ARROWTOWN
THE WIZARD OF OZ ON ICE :: 4-5 OCT QUEENSTOWN ICE ARENA AROHA QUARTET IN NEAR & FAR(R) :: 22 OCT MEMORIAL CENTRE JAZZ FESTIVAL+BLUES FESTIVAL :: FROM FRIDAY 25TH OCTOBER. VARIOUS VENUES REMARKABLE CAR FAIR:: 26 OCT RED BARN, REMARKABLES PARK SUMMERDAZE:: 31 DEC - 31 JAN VARIOUS LOCATIONS AROUND QUEENSTOWN GLENORCHY RACES:: 4 JAN GLENORCHY REC. GROUND
WILLOWRIDGE WANAKAFEST:: 24-27 OCT, WILLOWRIDGE RACERS EDGE TREK 10 HR RACE:: 27 OCT, WANAKA RHYTHM AND ALPS:: 29-31 DEC ROBROSA STATION, WANAKA
GOT AN EVENT YOU NEED TO PROMOTE? DROP US A LINE:
Guns don’t kill people. Gaping holes in vital organs kill people.
BACHELOR AND BACHELORETTES BALL :: SAT 12 OCT, ATHANAEUM HALL ARROWTOWN SCHOOL 150TH :: FRI 25TH OCT, ARROWTOWN SCHOOL
? who, what, where F
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Lone Star PO Café Bella Cucina Pog Mahones Finz Pig & Whistle Wai The Find The Bunker Monty’s Atlas Skyline Below Zero Cadillac Club Police Post Office Medical Centre
D E F G H i
Bus Stop QT Gardens Memorial Centre Library Village Green Information
FASHION? By SEA READ
spring fashion trends/ideas
Forget the snow, embrace the sun! It’s frolicking season! Queenstown spring means more room for activities. But what to wear? Missing out on frivolous activities due to poor outfit choices is devastating. That lightning fast mission home to change could mean missing the catch/ shot/drink/jump or stack of the day. Don’t be a victim, get spring style schooled. Versatile, casual, with a touch of retro? Denim. It’s got to be denim. Every activity can be done donning denim. It’s a steamy spring day? Rock the cut offs or a bicep-baring biker vest. These denim pieces inject a hint of bad-ass, without looking too try-hard. Put them together? That’s a Canadian tuxedo. Sure double denim can look cool... but rarely. Don’t do it. You’ll look more Jerry Seinfeld than Kate Moss. Speaking of tricky trends? Overalls, This look works
they’re back! Overalls (or dungarees as the Brits say) are now stylish, short and sporty. If you suffer from sneaky muffin top peeking over your shorts, worry no more! Overalls cleverly bypass the pants/top intersection, merging the two in denim harmony. But beware! Full length options are out there, ready to transform you into a giant toddler at any moment. Say no! Rock the short version for instant relaxed cool. But what about your head? Months of beanie-wearing has left many Queenstown guys and girls with dry, ratty hair not suitable to see daylight. No worries! Try a cap. Flat caps aren’t for everyone, definitely, so if your mates say they don’t suit you, they don’t. Try another option, and if all else fails shave your head. Just remember when the weather hots up, there’s no place for beanies. Outside, or inside, or behind the bar. Be activity-ready at a moment’s notice with fresh looks from Queenstown’s fash pack and you’ll never miss out on “that one time”.
cinema Queenstownâ€™s only independent screens
Doco.Cult.classic & Indy Films upstairs-53 Shotover