Chloe & Zoe Issue 3: Q12017
Information, Inspiration, DIY, & Community for Today's Woman
If It Matters To You, It Matters to Us.
Lifeline for Pets
S S S A A to
! s s a S it in cking
WORKPLACE confidence in
3 EASY Steps
EXTRA! EXTRA! Kevin Barry Beauty News
Financially Wise Woman
Time Management = Self Management
Letter from Caroline We don’t like to brag, but we have to admit we’ve started 2017 by kicking some butt. We here at The Show & Tell Show know first-hand that Today’s Woman faces loads of challenges in the multitasking fast lane. Whether you’re a mom, a single gal, millennial, baby boomer, and anything in-between, you should feel right at home here - reading our mag and/or watching our show (hopefully both!) because we aim to give you everything you need to help you be the best for yourself and those you love. So in these first month of the year, we decided to tackle some of our BIGGEST issues head-on, to build some high-intensity momentum to keep us on-track and progressing throughout the year. You’ll see in this fresh-off-the-presses toasty-warm issue you’re holding on your computer, coverage of our segments on time management, personal finance, fitness, style, nutrition and SO much more. As always, we aim to give YOU all the the information, inspiration, DIY, and community you need to fuel your ambitions, keep all the balls in the air, and fulfill your dreams. We want to stay in touch between issues and episodes, so be sure to connect with us on social media. Share your questions, comments, and ideas, and you will be heard - your voice helps to shape our content and create community among our viewers, readers, and followers. Holla! Facebook: @TheShowandTellShowTV Instagram: @TheShowandTellShow Twitter: @TVShowandTell There’s power in numbers so read on, get inspired, and let’s all get more confident, fit, and on track in this gamechanging year, together! Here’s to new beginnings, acceleration, and continued success
Q1 To Do List 1. Try one new group fitness class per month 2. Revise 2017 calendar for important dates. 3. Plan two getaway vacations & make list of destinations
4. Pick 5 books to read this year in each category:
Business, Personal Growth, History, Fiction, Biography
5. Eat foods of each color daily: White, Green, Brown, Red, Yellow, Orange, Blue/Purple Cover Photo Dress by Calvin Klein; Shoes by Charles David; Jewelry by Kenneth Cole; Makeup by Iliana Chavez
6. Create a financial plan and schedule (including monthly “date night”)
7. Create a beauty maintenance schedule
Which movie marathon can prevent you from doing anything productive for an entire weekend? “Any John Hughes marathon can suck me in for a weekend. Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller, Uncle Buck, Planes, Trains and Automobiles were all great movies from my teens and take me back!” – H. Sandimore Washington, DC
“Whenever A Christmas Story marathon runs; I feel like I’m fully immersed in the holiday season and will have it on in the background for an entire weekend” – S. Dhali Forest Hills, NY
When no one is looking, what is your guilty, or NOT-so-guilty, pleasure?
“I started taking naps along with my children back when they were babies, and now they’re older and not taking naps anymore – but I still am! Should I feel guilty?” – Farrah A. Chicago, IL
“I still feel guilty about getting my nails done every week, instead of putting the money away, but when I treat myself it just puts me in a good mood, and I feel happy every time I look at my hands” – Ariana D. Brooklyn, NY
Peter and Abby from Bunny World Foundation
Peter and Abby are siblings who were rescued from a shelter on the day they were due to be euthanized. They had been separated at the shelter, and because rabbits are highly social animals, their health declined while at the shelter. Bunny World Foundation rescued Peter and Abby and brought them back together at a foster home where they are both thriving and waiting adopted into a forever home. In addition to placing homeless rabbits, Bunny World Foundation works hard to pass legislation for all animals, combating animal cruelty, illegal animal sales, exploitation and the neglect of all animals. Learn more at bunnyworldfoundation.org
Chloe and Zoe from Lifeline for Pets
Chloe and her sister Zoe were rescued from a pet-hoarding situation. Pet hoarders usually have very good intentions, wishing to save strays from a life on the streets or potential euthanasia at a shelter, but if not very careful their home lives can quickly spiral out of control. Lifeline for Pets is a no-kill animal rescue group based in Pasadena, CA that cares for homeless cats and dogs until a loving home can be found for them. They are contacted by people who can no longer care for their pets, as well as organizations with limited resources to care for pets temporarily. Lifeline for Pets welcomes donations, as well as gift cards to pet supply stores like Petco and PetSmart. Learn more about them and how you can help at lifelineforpets.org.
Laura Gail Diamond
Natifah is a writer and singer. She is a single mother of two boys and lives in Los Angeles.
Laura is a mother of four, an Ace Certified Personal Trainer, and instructor of Pilates and Hoop Fit. She has her own fitness DVD called Hoop@home and is a threetime recipient of IDEA WORLD Inspiration Medals.
Patricia is an award-winning author, internationally collected artist and lyricist who has lived in France, Denmark, Greece and Hungary. Formerly a cruise line executive, she uses her travel and experiences to inform her creative work. She is a proud aunt to her nieces and nephews and a second mom to many.
Contributors Kevin Barry Our crew and talent spontaneously and unprovoked burst into applause when celebrity makeup artist Kevin Barry arrives on set to share his celebrity beauty secrets in each TV episode Kevin Barry Minute. Kevin’s clients include Christina Aguilera, Drew Barrymore, Faith Hill and more. In this issue Kevin shares insider tips on alternative uses for Botox and the latest trends in eyeliner PLUS a monthly beauty to-do list to keep handy throughout the year. Contact Kevin Barry here.
Rayne Parvis Our favorite in-demand personal stylist moderates our viewer panel each TV episode. This month she also shares her New Year style resolution and Valentine’s Day advice. Read more about Rayne, her styling services, and her book The Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab here.
Devika Chibber Mehta Our Editor-at-Large also contributes our monthly Global Perspective article. Devika is a journalist and mother who believes that only strong women can bring the needed change in society. Contact Devika here.
Crystal Kwan Crystal Kwan is a registered dietitian at Huntington Hospital in Pasadena, CA. She’s our go-to resource for all things nutrition, so when our viewers asked how to safely transition to a vegetarian diet, we knew just who to ask. Contact Crystal here.
Lindsay Leopold In our Closing Thoughts this month we share a favorite tapas recipe demonstrated by one of our fave contributors Sur La Table resident chef Lindsay Leopold during last year’s Pajama Party episode. Contact Chef Lindsay here.
Information At the Office Build your public speaking confidence ...................6 Kevin Barry Minute Alternative uses for Botox plus the very latest in eyeliner trends...........................10 Wise Up 5 steps to becoming a financially wise woman...........12 Creating Balance A balanced diet for the healthy mind and body...............................................................................18
Inspiration Speaking of Women Author and radio personality Lian Dolan........................................................................................7 Fashion FocusCopying your fashion role models may hinder your closet AND wallet.................................................9 Who Has Time? Managing ourselves will help us manage our time...........................................................................14
DIY Quick & Easy Gourmet Le Cordon Bleu's Gazpacho for all seasons.................................................................................8 Fitness Focus Say "tah-tah" to toneless triceps.............................................................................16 Nutrition Rehab Transition to a vegetarian diet gradually and safely......................................................................20
Community Global Perspective You've heard stories of Silver and Golden anniversaries, but what does being married feel like after 6 years?.....................................................22
In Every Issue Letter from Caroline...............1 Viewer Questions....................2 Pet Mascots............................2 Panelists..................................2 Contributors............................2 Closing Thoughts..................23 Masthead..............................24
Overcoming Shyness For the shy and introverted, speaking up can be even MORE daunting than it already is for the baselineto-extroverts. If this is YOU, here are some bonus tips:
You’ve heard the phrase “fake it til you make it.” A great way for the shy to become effective speakers is by first watching those who do it well. Pay attention to colleagues who seem to captivate their audience, and understand what it is that makes them so poignant. Mimic the behavior of those you admire. It will feel awkward at first, but as you practice the behavior will become more a part of you and eventually feel organic.
Practice Like anything, practice makes perfect when it comes to speaking up -- especially if you’re shy. “One way shy people can gain confidence to speak in måeetings is to practice outside of meetings,” says Susan Newman, co-founder of School2Life, an organization that helps students transition to the workforce. “Share your point of view and participate in conversations in and out of the workplace. Doing this helps you recognize where the discomfort sets in.” You can also practice by joining a group like your local chapter of Toastmasters.
The Speech Ring
Shyness and fear create tension in our faces and create a barrier to getting our messages across. Lauren Lovett created this soft, BPA-free tool that inserts into your mouth and forces the mouth and face muscles to expand while you practice speaking. When used frequently The Speech Ring (pictured) increases flexibility and erodes tension, resulting in clearer speech and messaging, and a face that is more inviting of the attention you deserve.
At the Office Building Public Speaking Confidence
id you know? After the fear of DEATH, the most common fear in the United States is the fear of public speaking. But strengthening these skills in the workplace – whether for public presentations, or even just speaking up in a meeting – can go a long way to help us advance our careers. “Women have been criticized for their voices, for being meek and not taking seat at the table,” says Los Angelesbased voice and speech empowerment coach Lauren Lovett. Once we make the choice to “show up” in a place where we are expected to express our ideas and strategies - the next step is to present and project our best selves in order to be effective. In other words, even if we don’t FEEL confident, we can still SOUND confident and thus get our message across with more impact. Here are Lauren’s tips, which she recommends practicing BEFORE an important event:
Tip 1: Alignment While sitting in meetings, it can be easy to shrink down and fade out from the group’s landscape of attention. Lauren suggests that as you sit, “move your gluteal muscles to the side and sit on your sit bones. Strengthen your core a little and think of your pelvic basin as a flower pot for energy which shoots straight up. Now your head should rest comfortably on your spine. Visualize your arms as wings opening from your sides to open your chest.”
Tip 2: Breathing Once your alignment is correct, expand your visualization to create optimal breathing and breath support from the diaphragm. “Think of your ribcage as a barrel. Your diaphragm is a dome inside it that expands, so think of yourself three-dimensionally.” Placing your hands at the base of your ribcage and feeling it expand with your breath will help you to feel and remember “correct” breathing so that you can re-create it in the office.
Tip 3: Eliminate Vocal Fry Vocal fry is the reverberation you sometimes hear (and many of us make) at the end of a sentence - think of a line following the ups and downs of your voice as you talk, and the vocal fry comes audible as your voice goes down and trails off. “Vocal fry is common among millennials, it becomes a habit.” Like mumbling, vocal fry communicates fear, uncertainty, or retracting. “A good exercise to is to practice things you normally say and move your hand straight outward from your body as you speak to ‘carry it through’ your message as you ‘land’ what you are going to say.” Watch Caroline’s complete interview with Lauren Lovett here. Voice and speech empowerment coach Lauren Lovett works with actors and professionals for a variety of services. Learn more about Lauren at breathpath.com.
Cats have powerful night vision, allowing them to see at light levels six times lower than what a human needs in order to see.
are taught to use the vocal fry, but you don’t want to end your sentence with it.”
teach this in schools - start it in early grades because it’s important.”
“As a singer we
“I think you should
“Please, let’s kill the vocal fry!”
Speaking of Women: Lian Dolan F
or over 20 years, Lian Dolan has written and spoken about the lives of modern women with warmth, humor, and bite. As an author, radio personality, and public speaker, Lian makes audiences think, laugh, nod in agreement, sometimes cry, and then laugh a little more.
In our January episode, Lian tells Caroline how she first started sharing her unique storytelling talent through radio show Satellite Sisters, a collaboration with her four real-life sisters. “Sixteen years ago, my really bossy sister Liz, decided that there was nothing on the radio demonstrating how real women talk in daily life. ‘Why doesn’t anything out there sound like me and my friends talking - all shows are so formatted,’ she’d say to me.” Liz decided that Lian and their sisters should create their own show, and since they all lived in different cities, a satellite radio show would be a perfect place for them all to catch up with each other, discuss the ups and downs of their lives and current events, and share it all with listeners. Over time, Lian noticed that the Satellite Sisters’ topics listeners most resonated with were transitions - going through a divorce, going back to work, caring for aging parents - and she decided as contrast to the “talk, talk, talk” of her radio show to begin the more solitary process of writing fiction on her own. Her first two books, dark satirical comedies Helen of Pasadena and Elizabeth the First Wife, centering around a contemporary “outsider” woman navigating perils of marriage, motherhood, divorce, and rebuilding, became instant bestsellers, and she is now working on her third , about grief - “They all sound really serious, but they’re really not, they’re funny,” she said to Caroline, “you’ve read them!” “Yes, I have- so funny and I love them all,” Caroline answers. “I can’t wait to read the new book.” Watch Caroline’s complete interview with Lian Dolan here. Learn more about Lian and her books at liandolan.com, and listen to Satellite Sisters at satellitesisters.com.
friend - she is the first person you laugh and cry with. It’s great that you all have worked together for 16 years and are still going something positive and productive.”
that friends come and go, but blood relations always stay together. I wish for my kids to grow up to have the same relationship you have with your sisters.”
with me after a terrible divorce, and I am very close to her. I encourage that if you are looking for a partner, don’t accept anything less in your partners than you do your friends.”
“A sister is your first
“I tell my four kids
“My sister has been living
INFORMATION Check out Lian’s Books Helen of Pasadena (2010) Helen Fairchild finds her life turned upside-down after her husband leaves her for another woman and promptly dies in a freak accident during Pasadena’s famed Rose Parade.On the verge of bankruptcy, she’s forced to sell their beautiful home and find a job in order to pay her son’s private school tuition. Buy here.
Elizabeth the First First Wife (2013) Elizabeth Lancaster, an English professor at Pasadena City College, finds her perfectly dull but perfectly orchestrated life upended one summer by three men: her moviestar ex-husband, a charming political operative, and William Shakespeare. Buy here.
You’re the Best: A Celebration of Friendship (2015) “I owe you for that night at that dive bar on our road trip. I should not line dance under the influence, and I think we both know that now.” “I owe you for letting me borrow that really expensive evening clutch with the feathers. I had no idea puppies liked feathers.” You’re the Best is a thank-you note to female friends, the women we call when the best things in our lives happen—or the worst. Written by two generations of Satellite Sisters. Buy here.
The average cat sleeps 16-18 hours per day - that’s 70% of their lives. Sleeping is their way of storing up energy to hunt, or attack an unsuspecting toy
Quick & Easy Gourmet: Every-Season Gazpacho
hat’s no excuse! Even if you don’t have a lot of time or creative culinary prowess, you can still cook a gourmet dish that will dazzle your family and friends. “After this show, I guarantee that Gazpacho will become one of your go-to recipes to impress those whose palates you care about most - whether it’s summer, fall, winter, or spring,” says Chef Richard Hanna of Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Institute in Los Angeles during our January TV episode. Though traditionally considered a summer dish, Gazpacho can be made in every season by tweaking the organic vegetables and the soup’s temperature to the season and climate. “If you’re on the east coast or Mid-west, try adding beans and pasta, and warm it up to give the soup more depth and heartiness in the fall and winter,” says Chef Hanna. A soup like this is a great way to get kids to eat their vegetables, and to dust off that blender you had on your registry and haven’t used in years!
Chef Richard Hanna’s Gazpacho Serves 4-6
¼ Cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil ½ Onion 4 Garlic Cloves ½ Jalapeño Pepper (seeded) ½ Red Bell Pepper ½ Yellow Bell Pepper ½ Green Bell Pepper 2 Ripe Tomatoes ½ European Cucumber (seeded) ¼ Bundle of Basil ¼ Bundle of Cilantro 1. Cut vegetables to fit into your blender 2. Add oil, garlic, and onion, the all remaining ingredients 3. Blend till smooth 4. Garnish with chiffonade of basil, cilantro, and a drizzle of olive oil
“I love that this is like a liquid salad and can be prepared simply and quickly.”
“I’d even serve this as an appitizer with charcuterie and crusty bread!”
“This would be really nice on a sunny day with a sangria or a nice wine.”
Disneyland first started employing cats in the 1950s to keep the park clear of pests. The feral cats are spayed/neutered and released, and are provided with food and medical treatment.
Is Your Favorite Fashionista Costing You Money? By Rayne Parvis
Q: Dear Rayne, During my new-year closet clean-out, I decided to get rid of several items that I spent a lot of money on but only wore one, twice or not at all! I realized I was using my monthly fashion magazine subscription and favorite celebrity styles as a guide but didn't think through how those styles would work with my comparatively less glamorous lifestyle. How should I approach updating my wardrobe in the new year? -Wendy S. Manhattan, N.Y.
ave you cleaned out your closet, gone shopping for a “new year, new you” wardrobe with a list of the “must haves” for 2017, and still can’t find anything to wear in your closet in the morning? Just like a strict New Year's resolution diet we start to make major wellness changes, our New Year fashion goals can quickly go out the window. Trust me, we all have been there! When you buy items that don’t fit your lifestyle, personality or personal message... the pieces don’t get worn and you still scream “I have nothing to wear!”. Understanding the “why” this happens is key to not making the same shopping mistakes in the future. For example, one of my clients who is on a strict budget, in her 40’s, has 3 kids and simple, yet classy taste. She bought a faux-leather black circle skirt based on a YouTube video from her favorite fashion expert. She stated she couldn’t find anything to wear with it and didn’t feel comfortable in it. She bought the skirt because it was a “must-have for winter” but it was a waste. The skirt was never worn and it didn’t go with anything else in her closet. It was $119.00 and past the return date. Making this mistake over and over again can really add up! I watched the video and pointed out to her that this “expert” didn’t have the same body-type as her, was 10 years younger and had a different lifestyle (no kids, different climate, job, and style personality). A textured wool black pencil skirt would of been a better option. Before you buy...I want you to BEWARE! Yes, beware of grabbing the latest trends featured in Vogue or recommended by “experts”, fashionistas, or what you
see celebrities wearing. Why, you ask? Although we’re super amazing in our own way...most of us would look silly in clothes that Rihanna or Lady Gaga or our favorite Instagram rockstar who spent two hours on her hair, make-up and took 300 photos to get a decent one would wear. What about you and your personal style? The everyday, yet extraordinary woman can’t walk around in 4 inch heels, a ball gown and an off the shoulder blouse that after one wear needs to be tossed due to poor quality. However, we all can look fabulous in our wardrobe if we hone in on what makes us happy and brings us joy. We need to buy quality over quantity. The solution is to look at yourself, your closet and define what looks great on you. Create a Pinterest page of celebrity style, not the red carpet pictures, but the images and outfits you admire that are in the same age range and preferably body-type as you. In Chapter 2 of my book Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab I speak about the importance of fine tuning you. “We are like snowflakes...beautiful, unique, and no two are alike! Twins may come close, but even they have different preferences and personalities. Your wardrobe portrays a REFLECTION of you.’ Defining your personal style and asking yourself a few questions before you buy will help you save money, time and the hassle of returning your mindless shopping splurges. For more tips on how to shop for your personality, body-shape and lifestyle check out Rayne Parvis’s website www. StyleByRayne.com and her book Ultimate Guide to Style:From Drab to Fab! Follow her on Instagam @rayneparvis for inspiration to be bold & all kinds of beautiful.
Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Buy 1. Does this item match my
style personality? Do I have a more classic, creative, romantic, minimalist or trendy vibe? 2. Is it age appropriate? Look at what celebrities your age wear in candid street photos. 3. Does the piece go with at least 4 items already in my closet? 4. Does the piece send the message I want my style to portray: put-together, smart, sophisticated, simple, quirky, serious, whimsical, etc. 5. Is the piece comfortable and does it fit well? For example, do I need to wear spanx, a special bra or certain type of garment under it? If so, you probably won’t wear it as much as you think! If you must buy a piece that needs tailoring be sure to take it in right away or it may sit in your closet unworn til it no longer suits you.
Kevin’s Monthly Beauty To-Do List 1. WASH YOUR MAKEUP BRUSHES. Bacteria starts to grow after every use, so be sure to wash them thoroughly at least once a month. This helps avoid unnecessary breakouts. Not to mention muddy looking makeup, which is what happens when too many colors have been layered on your brushes. 2. GET A PROFESSIONAL FACIAL. For complete deep cleansing, help clearing up breakouts, preventing wrinkles and achieving your best complexion, get a facial from a licensed aesthetician once a month. Regular facials also improve the performance of your existing skincare. 3. GET YOUR HAIR TRIMMED. Keep unsightly dry, split ends to a minimum with a gentle sprucing up. Immediately following that trim touch up your base hair color and finish with an ultra deep conditioning under a hot dryer. 4. CLEAN OUT YOUR MAKEUP BAG. Or better yet clean the makeup out of all your bags. Get reorganized and rediscover colors you thought you lost or misplaced. This helps avoid repeated buying of the same products. You don’t need to replace them, you just need to find them. 5. TREAT YOURSELF TO A MASSAGE AND PEDICURE. Give yourself a mini vacation with these two pampering treatments. Sure it takes time but you can manage it once a month with a little planning.
lthough we all know of Botox (or at least some of us do) as our friendly, acutely lethal toxin that is F.D.A approved for smoothing wrinkles in the face...Did you know? Botox is being used by celebs and regular folks alike to solve some unexpected beauty challenges, as well as chronic medical issues. Talk with your primary care physician before seeking out treatment.
Kevin Barry Minute Alternative Uses for Botox
Softening the Jawline Muscles “A great example is Bethenny Frankel of Real Housewives of New York. She was grinding her teeth and over time her jaw muscles built up and her jaw started looking more square. She started using botox to relax those muscles and you can really see the difference,” says Kevin.
Migraines & Chronic Pain “Botox is now F.D.A. approved to block the pain of debilitating migraines,” says Kevin. “Also back pain and shoulder pain can be relieved with Botox now as well.”
Excessive Sweating “Botox can block sweating for up to seven months,” Kevin reports. “If you sweat excessively during job interviews or important events, that can really harm your self-esteem.”
Muscle Spasms & Parkinson’s Disease Cats have more than 100 different vocal sounds
“The F.D.A. has approved the use of Botox to treat uncontrollable muscle spasms, as in Parkinson’s. Botox release the grip of the spasms and prevent the need for surgery.”
son suffers from migraines. Do these treatments work for males?”
“Yes! But talk with your pediatrician before seeking treatment for your son.”
“I use Botox, but only
for beauty treatments. Plastic surgeons are my best friends and I LOVE Botox.”
“You’ve sold me on
this for fixing medical problems, but I am against it for the beauty aspect. I own every wrinkle, and I lived in New York, where all women look like themselves.”
Eyeliner Trends Under $10
yes are the windows to the soul, and they’re the part of our bodies that receive the most attention from those we interact with. Now, with Kevin’s help, we can easily and inexpensively create and change our eye looks by using the latest trends in eyeliners loved by our favorite celebs. Kevin tested out for himself some of the most popular eyeliners on the market to determine which can get us closest to the celeb looks we love...
Beyoncé’s Cat Eye Hard Candy Bold & Gorgeous Dare to Flick Felt Tip Liner It features an intense black formula that lasts up to 12 hours for smudge-proof, budge-proof all-day wear. “It’s like a felt-tip pen, but doesn’t give too much. It’s restrained,” says Kevin. The expertly designed tulip tip was created to achieve precise lines, but is flexible enough to flick on the outer edges for the perfect cat-eye look! $5 Buy Here.
Audrey Hepburn’s Clean & Subtle Maybelline Master Precise Skinny This next-generation gel liner gives you an ultra-thin 1.8mm line “so even the most scared, apprehensive eyeliner user can use it with success. It’s super-subtle, and great for detailing at the base of the lashes where you can sometimes see space between the lashes and the liner,” adds Kevin. $7.99 Buy Here.
Penelope Cruz’s Dark & Deep L’Oreal Paris The Infallible Blackbuster Liquid Eyeliner “This liquid liner deeply saturates like a marker and works for the inner rim. It also doesn’t transfer - or leave pepper-like flakes around your eyes - and lasts for 8 hours.” The specially-designed tip gives you total control, delivering a smooth, mistake-proof application every time. $5.98 Buy Here.
Lucy Liu’s Smoky & Diffused CoverGirl Bombshell Powder Brow & Liner “If you don’t want clean sharpness and going more for sexy, this gives you disheveled yet elegant, romantic yet chaotic…,” Kevin offers. The soft powder adheres to brows and defines eyes with smolder. “This is also a great tool for when you want to just do your eyes quickly and go.” $7.64 Buy Here.
for Women to Get Financially Wise 1.
We oversee a lot of wealth Women control $14 trillion in personal wealth assets. By 2020, we are expected to control $22 trillion.
We are family decision makers. 95% of women will be their family’s primary financial decision maker at some point in our lives.
We can be wrong about our nest eggs. 37% of women are more likely than men to think we will need to accumulate less than $250,000 for retirement.
We’re more likely than men to become poor - 11% of women age 65 and older are poor, compared to 7% of men age 65 and older.
We rely on Social Security - 57% of all Social Security beneficiaries is represented by women.
We don’t put away enough for retirement - Only 49% of women contribute to our 401(k) plans.
We won’t predecease their husbands. Women are four times more likely than men to be widowed. 8.7 million women aged 65 and over are widowed in the U.S.
We outlive their husbands by a lot. Nearly 700,000 women lose their husbands each year. Widows outlive their husbands by an average of 14 years.
We are likely to be widowed before we retire - The median age when a woman loses her spouse is 59 (Sources: Allianz Life Insurance Co., Employee Benefit Research Institute and Mathew Greenwald & Associates, The Family Wealth Advisors Council, Harvard Business Review, Prudential Life Insurance Co., U.S. Census Bureau, U.S. Social Security Administration, White House Council on Women and Girls)
Cats have a higher survival rate falling from a 7 to 32-story building than a 2 to 6-story building because they instinctively create a lifesaving umbrela shape with their bodies, but it takes some time for cats’ bodies to realize they are falling and properly adjust.
Be a Financially Wise Woman
or so many reasons it is imperative for women to be smart about their personal finances. Some people don’t even know where to begin – either someone else has been handling finances for them, or NO ONE has been tracking finances. Financial prowess doesn’t come naturally to all of us, so we invited Brittney Castro, founder and CEO of Financially Wise Women, to talk with Caroline in the studio about how to be smart about money and secure your financial future.
Track Money Weekly, Not Monthly The word “budget” is sometimes more feared than “diet”. Both can be hard to get started! But instead of thinking of budgeting as a restrictive kind of “money diet,” shift your perspective and remember that a budget is just a way to track money in and money out. Set a weekly money date to update your budget. Tracking your income and expenses weekly instead of monthly creates a healthy habit of knowing where you stand with your money. This bite-sized process makes it easier to stick with long-term.
Increase Auto-Savings by 1% The goal is to save about 20 percent of your net income toward various financial goals like debt reduction, building a cash cushion and retirement. Yet, people get overwhelmed by this number and
end up not saving at all. Don’t fall victim to this trap. Instead, start small. Begin by setting aside 1 percent of your net income toward your goals. Then aim to increase it every year by another 1 percent until you reach the 20 percent benchmark. As the old saying goes, something is better than nothing, and even 1 percent can really add up over time.
Get Clear About Debt Debt affects a lot of us. Instead of being terrified and ashamed of debt, face the facts and get clear about what you have. Write down all debt--the type, amount, interest rate, minimum payment-- With this clarity, you can see where you stand and then begin the process of a debt reduction strategy.
Check Your Credit Score Your credit report is a file on you and your credit history. It basically tells lenders how risky a borrower you are. So when it comes time to purchase a new home or new car, you want your credit report and credit score to be in top financial shape so you qualify for good interest rates. If you have not established credit yet, a good place to start may be to open up a credit card in your name. Charge your card only with expenses you know you can pay off every month. Get in the habit of checking your credit report and credit score at least annually, to confirm its accuracy. Make it easy: Set alerts in your calendar to check your credit report and score around your birthday. That way you’ll always remember when to do it.
Ask For More Money I believe income is a huge factor in wealth creation over time, and we women need to get better at asking for more of it. Use sites like www.shenegotiates.com to improve your negotiating skills. Many of us already are negotiating with our kids, friends, etc.-- so now it’s time to start paying attention to what works and what doesn’t work when it comes to negotiating about money. With more knowledge and education, you can become comfortable asking for a higher salary or higher fees in business on a regular basis. You can see Caroline’s entire interview with Brittney Castro here. Brittney offers a FREE financial planning toolkit on her website financiallywisewomen. com where you can also watch her videos jam-packed with tips for making our financial futures bright.
Natifah: “The need for
financial literacy really resonates with me, and I appreciate what you said about the shame that we can associate with debt. Once we deal with it and overcome that, we can move forward and feel more in control.”
Laura Gail: “It is so important to
start young with money matters. Women need to have this training, wspecially if they have or plan to have children.”
Patricia: “I love your ‘money
date’ idea. I come from a generation where wives depended on their husbands and now with so many divorces, women must know what to do with their money.”
Who Has Time? Take Control Before It Controls You
hen you want what’s best for you, your career, and your relationships with family and friends, it’s easy to take on a lot of commitments and suddenly wonder how to prioritize it all. Effective time management does not come naturally for some, and it’s easy to think everybody else is doing it right but YOU. So we asked organizational consultant, psychotherapist and author Shelli Chosak, to help us.
1. Time Management = Self Management We tend to think about having lots of stuff on our plate or things to do - external to ourselves. But time management is really about controlling your environment and that can be done only when you have an internal sense of control and self-management. We have to ask ourselves, “How can I empower myself to make this all happen?”
2. What approach do you take to your time? Are you a proactive? Reactive? If you are reactive, it will be harder for you to manage your priorities than if you are proactive. This comes into play especially with technology. If you feel you can’t keep away from your email or text messages, then it’s the people sending you the messages that you are allowing to have the power.
3. What are your time leaks? * Pleasing others is a BIG time leak, as is media - we spend an average of 23 hours per week watching or engaging with some form of media. * Perfectionism - paying TOO much attention to detail to get something exactly right - can also eat up a lot of time. * NOT being a good listener can make you lose time because you’ll need to correct a lot of mistakes later. * Trying to control too much instead of finding a control balance is also problematic. * It’s important to know your own best work-life balance as opposed to using someone else’s model. Understand your own life, needs, and priorities and work outward from there. * A lot of people who feel satisfied by giving all thetime then feel guilty when they need to care for themselves it’s important to not feel selfish about tending to your own needs. You can see Caroline’s entire interview with Shelli Chosak here. Shelli is the author of Your Living Legacy, empowering parents to become more self-aware and confident in guiding their children to become emotionally healthy and successful adults. Shelli conducts time management workshops, and offers worksheets on her website. You can also email her at shelli@ empoweryourrelationship.com.
When to Evaluate Your Schedule
Natifah: “Being a single mom of two boys who are always vying for my attention, I used to feal selfish when I’d take time for myself. Your statement ‘give to yourself first’ is powerful.”
Laura Gail: “I think sometimes
we moms have to put ourselves in time out, to figure out and regain a sense of balance.”
Patricia: “It has become a part of our culture to tell everybody how busy we are. When people make it sound like their busy is more important thatn everyone else’s, I tell them ‘Mind you own busi-ness’”
1. You’re Feeling Bad If you notice some kind of negative energy coming in or going out - depression, anxiety, feeling burnt out take a look at what is eating your time and see what adjustments need to be made.
2. Major Life Changes A new child, a divorce, caring for your elderly parents - you need to stop and think how you can rearrange your life so that these new expenditures of time and energy can be balanced out.
Free-ranging cats, domesticated cats who spend a lot of their time outside, have contributed to the extinction of 33 different species, including birds, mammals, and reptiles.
Fitness Focus Problem: BATWINGS
hether it was Michelle Obama, or Linda Hamilton in The Terminator, somebody is responsible for making toned and defined arms a fitness AND fashion MUST. The trickiest part as we get older is triceps and it can feel like we’re past the point of no return – BUT NOT SO according to holistic fitness coach Leila Harper. Founder of Sculpted Physiques by Leila personal training, Leila came to the studio to give Caroline some exercises that everyone can do at home to get shapely and firmer arms Leila says, “These exercises can be done anywhere - at home, in a hotel room while traveling, there’s no excuse!”
Tricep Push-Up On the floor, if you are strong enough keep your knees up, if not you can place one or both knees on the floor - but work toward keeping them OFF the floor. Lift up placing your hands under your elbows and, with elbows staying close to the body, do 3-4 sets of 10-15 repetitions.
Elbow Plank Twist In the above push-up position, come down onto your elbows. Lift one arm, opening your elbow up to the ceiling and chest facing the perpendicular wall, then press back into the plank (Leila says "Keep your bottom down and in line with your legs and torso"). Alternate. 3-4 sets of 10-15 repetitions.
But what if you do these exercises on a regular basis and STILL aren’t seeing results? “If you have done everything and still not seeing improvement in the triceps, there could be a medical issue - it could be hormonal, high estrogen or a thyroid issue.” Before beginning any fitness routine, always talk with your doctor. Watch the entire segment with Leila Harper here. Learn more about Leila and watch her exercise videos at Sculpted Physiques by Leila.
Cats only sweat through their paws. The sweat glands on cats’ paws secrete a scent that they use to mark their territory. So whenever they are walking or scratching, they are actually marking that spot as their own.
Using a chair, face your back to the chair’s seat and place your hands backwards onto the edge of the seat. Legs can be bent (easier) or straight out (challenge!). Keeping your elbows in, dip yourself down until the upper arms are perpendicular to the floor. 3-4 sets of 10-15 repetitions.
Weight Push-Up “The tricep area is the “fasttwitch” muscle area, which basically means you have to really work or go home ladies,” says Leila. Holding 10-lb. weights, lay down on your back, bring weights together and bring arms up and down, keeping elbows in.” 3-4 sets of 10-15 repetitions.
Tricep Fun Facts
The tricep muscle makes up 2/3 of the muscle in your arm and is responsible for straightening the arm. 2. The average tricep muscle is twice as big as the bicep muscle. 3. Fast-twitch, the most powerful muscles, are activated when the body nears maximum exertion, which is why heavier weights help strengthen trips. 4. The tricep muscle got its name because it attaches at three points, once at the shoulder blade and two places in the upper arm. 5.
Depending frequency and intensity of your workouts, it can take four to eight weeks for your muscles to get really tones and defined.
Natifah: “My arms have
always been a problem area, though I am working out, and have lost 25 pounds in the last 3 months. I’ve learned the more my body endures, the easier it becomes”
Laura Gail: “I teach an all-women pilates class, and for my 40 and over crowd, I always emphasize the arms using the Reformer.”
Patricia: “I do a cardio barre
class 5-6 times a week. I’m just going to blame it on hormones.”
Creating Balance VS Eat a Rainbow
Feed Your Chakras
reating balance in our lives is not only a matter of time management, it’s also about what we put in our bodies. This is the philosophy of Janie Boisclair, a 5C Clairvoyant Gourmet, who joined Caroline for a 5-part video series. “Chakras are energy points in our bodies, each corresponding to different organs,” says Janie. “By eating foods that feed each of the chakras, we create a balance that allows us to receive clarity from the spirit world.” Ok! The medical world is also keen to recommend “eating a rainbow” to maintain overall health. So below we compare Janie’s philosophy with doctor recommendations. SPOILER ALERT: You can’t go wrong by eating a varied diet! Note that colors must be natural, not artificial, in both cases.
Watch Caroline’s 5-part video series with Janie Boisclair here. You can learn more about Janie Boisclair, 5C Clairvoyant Gourmet, including how to buy her book I’m Living with Angels at janiebiclair.com.
A cat’s whiskers serve an important purpose by helping them detect objects and navigate in the dark. Cats’ whiskers grow to be as long as the cat is wide, so long whiskers help cats know whether they can fit through tight openings.
Feed Your Chakras Crown Chakra:
Eat A Rainbow White:
Regulates sleep and biological cycles, connects you to spirituality. Connected to spinal cord, brainstem and pineal gland.
Supports heart and bone health, cholesterol levels, may prevent some kinds of cancers. Contain flavonoids, vitamin C, allium, and sulforaphane.
Third Eye Chakra:
Regulates hormone production and sharpens awareness. Connected with thyroid, thymus, pancreas, adrenal, reproductive glands.
Promote memory, heart and skin health, and immunity. Contain anthocyanin, vitamin C, potassium, and folate.
Regulates body temperature and increases communication abilities, expressing truth and honesty. Connected with vocal cords, respiratory system, esophagus and thyroid gland.
Enhances your feelings of love and healing.Connected with heart, lungs, and thymus gland.
Solar Plexus Chakra:
Supports intestines, liver, bladder, stomach, and metabolism. Increases feelings of wisdom, power, and balance.
Regulates metabolism and immune system. Increases sexuality and creativity, and â€œeasy-goingâ€?ness. Connected with, bladder, prostate, ovaries, kidneys, and bowel.
Strengthens your ability to trust, feel security and feel a sense of belonging. Connected with reproductive glands, kidneys, and spine.
No recommendations available sorry chocolate & coffee drinkers!
Regulate blood sugar, which is important for individuals with diabetes. Contain chlorophyll, vitamin K, carotenoids, isothiocyanates, and omega-3 fatty acids.
Yellow & Orange:
Contain beta-carotene, alphacarotene, vitamins A, C and potassium. Promote healthy eyes and skin, heart health, anti-inflammation, and immune function.
Contains flavonoids, lycopene, vitamin C, anthocyanin, ellagic acid, quercetin, and folate. Promote heart, health, and memory. May help prevent stroke.
Sources: Janieboisclair.com; Wholekidsfoundation.org
How to Start a Plant-Based Diet By Crystal Kwan, MPH, RD, CDE
t’s the start of a new year, and that means a new set of health goals! Whether you want to shed a few pounds or manage a specific condition, research suggests that following a diet rich in plant-based foods can improve heart health, manage blood sugar levels and promote a healthy weight. Including more plant-based foods into your diet simply means eating these foods in their whole, unprocessed form: vegetables, fruits, whole grains, beans, lentils, nuts, seeds and healthy fats (like plant based oils and avocado). Whether you want to transition to a plant-based only diet, or want to start adding more plant-based foods into your current meal plan, consider these tips to help get you started: Start with meatless meals you already cook at home: This can include meals like black beans and rice, whole grain pasta with marinara sauce, or lentil soup and salad. Try to make these meals more frequently throughout the week. Experiment with new simple recipes: Recreate a typical dish by replacing the animal protein with a plant based protein. Examples include chili with beans and lentils, black bean burgers, vegetable lasagna, or a tofu and vegetable stir-fry. Consider your protein options: We can meet our protein needs from plant based sources, including beans, lentils, soy products (tofu, edamame, soy milk), nuts/seeds, and certain whole grains and vegetables. For variety, try meat substitutes such as seitan and tempeh. (Pescatarian Caroline adds: “I love adding hamburgersubstitute to soups to make them heartier and more filling.”)
In just seven years, a single pair of cats and their offspring could produce a staggering total of 420,000 kittens. Remember to spay or neuter your pets!
Add more vegetables and fruits to your meals and snacks: To ensure you are eating a fiber and nutrient rich diet, try to have at least 1 serving of vegetable and fruit with your main meals. A colorful plate of vegetables and fruits means a diet rich in phytochemicals and antioxidants, protective nutrients that offer a wide range of healthful benefits. To flavor your foods without meat or poultry products, include umami ingredients: Umami refers to the savory flavors that are found in fermented products such as soy sauce, miso paste and aged cheese. They are also found naturally in foods like tomatoes, mushrooms seaweed, peas, corn, onions, tofu and edamame. Start with vegetarian snack: For an energy packed snack, try combining 1 protein source with 1 complex carbohydrate source. This can include Â˝ banana and 2 tbsp peanut butter, raw vegetable sticks and hummus, or 1 handful of nuts with apple slices Following a plant-based diet can be a healthy approach to meal planning for you and your family, and can be implemented gradually. Talk with your doctor or a registered dietician before making major changes to your diet. Crystal Kwan is a Registered Dietitian at Huntington Hospital in Pasadena, CA. For more information, visit www.huntingtonhospital.com/nutritioncounseling
V-DAY: Show Your Love Without the Added Sugar By Crystal Kwan, MPH, RD, CDE Ah, Valentineâ€™s Day! A day of love, special memories, and a reason to indulge in boxes of chocolate, candy hearts and other sweet desserts. But to stay healthy, the 2015 USDA Dietary Guidelines recommend no more than 10% of your total calories from added sugar (about 200 calories for a person on a 2000 calorie diet). So then what are some sugar-smart but tasty ways we can show our loved ones we care? Here are my tips: * Give a gift of fruit that is naturally sweet and colorful. Send your loved ones skewered fruit in place of chocolates, or cut out watermelon using a heart shaped cookie cutter. * Nuts come in many flavors and varieties, and can be dusted with cinnamon, cocoa powder and chili. This protein-rich yet sweet-zesty snack can be enjoyed year round! * Choose lighter dessert options with less added sugar and fat, such as chocolate mousse, angel food cake, and frozen yogurt. * Make your own homemade desserts with less sugar than the recipe calls for, or use Splenda for baked goods. * Give a non-food gift: flowers, gift cards and simple hand-made crafts are timeless gifts that make your loved ones feel special.
Global Perspective: An Open Love Letter to My Husband After 6 Years of Marriage By Devika Chibberr Mehta
ear beloved husband/friend/enemy/lover/partner,
We met as strangers as a result of an arranged marriage determined by our parents, as is traditional in our native India. You seemed like a completely normal and charming guy but I was doubtful that you were my Prince Charming, Knight in Shining Armor, as I had read about in fairy tales. It wasn’t love at first sight but fascination, along with our culture, that made me continue my courtship with you. You were always eloquent about your feelings of happiness about our union, but I was confused - were you my lover, partner, or just husband? One day we married and I hoped, just as in my fairy tales, that we would have a HAPPY ENDING. As time went on, my burden of worries and responsibilities increased, my personal space was gone. Life seemed very uneven. I blamed you for all my problems and lashed out with emotional outbursts. Because of my cultural upbringing I never opted for divorce, though it crossed my mind often. It must have crossed yours, too. Slowly helplessness and depression overtook my happy persona. My life was in chaos. And then one day I reached the conclusion that I was running toward something that does not exist, the HAPPY ENDING, and this understanding helped me shift to another a new phase of our life together - acceptance - as if I had to experience the stages of grief at the loss of my singlehood. Finally after 5 years, we moved to the U.S., where a roomy apartment meant I could have the personal space and privacy I had longed for throughout our short marriage. Meanwhile, you never changed. Solid and steadfast, you identified my weaknesses, and like a Knight in Shining Armor, shielded them with your strengths. You were always there, either by my side or watching from afar. Despite our cultural tradition, you always maintained that a wife is equal and should be involved in key household decisions. You taught me how to smile again - a gift I will never forget. This January, we celebrate our sixth anniversary and I find myself happier than ever. We have settled into our marriage, and it is a living space I never knew to expect from marriage. We have gone through several relationship stages together - strangers, friends, lovers, spouses, enemies - and today, I thank you for being my partner, who is up-close and personal to the best and worst parts of me as we navigate life together. However, as we go forward, I want you to know what I need. I understand that dedication to your job and company helps
you to advance in your career, but I need you to also spend quality time at home. I want you to hear me when I tell you about my day and our household news, to take me on dates and show that you cherish our relationship - especially to model for our young daughter the kind of love to which she should aspire. I need you to approach sex with me as a lover instead of as a co-parent, to set aside time within our hectic schedules to recreate the fun and mystery again. I need you to respect my desire for a response to my communication with you throughout the day - not as a means of control but for reassurance of our connectedness. I need for you to understand that joking about my perceived shortcomings is hurtful and erodes our relationship. I know that both of us have a wishlist of how we’d like the other to be different. I need to know that we can work toward adjusting ourselves to make each other more fulfilled, to have the wisdom to know the limits of these adjustments so that we don’t lose our individuality, and that we can have these conversations without anger and defensiveness. But on this sixth Valentine’s Day together, I am thankful that we have this marriage resulting from six years of toil and love together. In my young girl’s dream of a HAPPY ENDING I didn’t understand what it would mean to have a husband who is a best friend, lover, advisor, and co-conspirator. I am so grateful that life has brought us together and kept us together, even when one or both of us perhaps didn’t want to be. Our small family is my sun, my moon, and my world, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Love, Devika
Enter our Giveaway!
This month we are offering a cooking class of your choice at Sur la Table! Anytime is a good time learn cooking for two, baking, international dishes, and even basic knife skills. Sign up here by March 17th, 2017. The lucky winner will be contacted by March 21th.
Watch our episodes!
We’re so happy you shared your time with us here in the magazine. Need more The Show & Tell Show? Cop a squat and binge watch our January and February episodes, and all of our archived episodes, on our YouTube channel here. See you next time!
Most cats are lactose intolerant and should not be given cow's milk
From the Inbox “I am a recently divorced mother of two and the thought of Valentine’s Day makes me want to crawl under a rock. During my marriage I became disconnected from my friends, and now I find myself feeling painfully alone and uncertain about my future. Besides therapy, is there any advice you can share?”
- Connie W.
Caroline: Oh, Connie, I’m sorry you are in this painful state. I grew up as a child of divorce, and I could see the toll that the whole process took on my parents. I can also understand how easy it is to become disconnected from friends once kids are in the picture, and if your family moves away, all the harder to keep close to loved ones. The good news is that now that we have so many ways to connect with old friends, via social media, I suggest this Valentine’s Day you start by re-connecting with some of your most fun and supportive friends from the past. Explain how sorry you are that you weren’t able to be in touch and how your circumstances have changed. Consider inviting them over for a girl’s night pajama party! If you all have kids, you could create a separate party for the wee-ones that ends with the light turned out early, and let the grown-ups enjoy tasty food, wine, music or a movie, and definitely time to gab. I highly recommend the tapas menu created by Sur la Table resident chef Lindsay Leopold for our pajama party episode last year, which you can watch here. Get your girl-time on, and start understanding the new single you before you start looking to date. Take a class or two on a topic you like, and try learning something new! Understand that you and your kids will need to navigate through the stages of grief, and give yourselves plenty of time to re-calibrate in your new life. Once you feel confident in your ability to support yourself and your family, Valentine’s Day will be much more palatable.
Magazine Editor in Chief Caroline Elliott Editor at Large Devika Chhibber Mehta Art Director Shelby Meyer Production Intern Paloma MuĂąiz Madruga Social Media Intern Dana Dowse Administration Intern Jeanette Haro Publicity Intern Maurine A. Nuezca Loria
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Information, Inspiration, Empowerment, DIY and Community for Today's Woman. This issue looks back at our content from Q1 episodes plus new a...
Published on Mar 14, 2017
Information, Inspiration, Empowerment, DIY and Community for Today's Woman. This issue looks back at our content from Q1 episodes plus new a...