January 26, 2012
volume 103 • issue 21 • thesheaf.com
Speaker highlights role of Canadian mining companies abroad.
Doing away with the stigma surrounding masturbation.
The Wheat Board is dead. What happens now? Page 5
A controversial shootout goal enrages Huskies.
What Timmy’s new extra large cup size says about us.
Interviewing Enver Hampton from Reform Party.
The University of Saskatchewan student newspaper since 1912
University hunts for childcare funding USSU asked to endorse $5 to $10 per-term student fee increase
Early architectural rendering of refitted seed barn. DARYL HOFMANN Associate News Editor The University of Saskatchewan has a plan to double its number of childcare spaces by 2014, says Associate Vice-President Student Affairs David Hannah. The design, which consists of two separate components, is projected to cost between $4 and $5 million and would increase the university’s total licensed childcare spaces to 220, up from 110. The first component of the plan includes the renovation and expansion of the current university daycare centre located in the Education Building and would add 46 spaces, all of which would be for children 30 months to 6 years old. Meanwhile, the second component is a new, standalone facility at College Quarter that would provide 64 spaces, 12 for infants and 52 for children 18 months to 6 years old. Early drawings of the facility have incorporated the reuse of the century-
old seed barn currently sitting by the volleyball courts on College Drive. “We’re keeping our fingers crossed,” Hannah said of the possibility of relocating and refitting the seed barn. “Our architects are pretty pumped.” An initial survey by engineers and building movers reported that moving the seed barn is likely doable. In the coming months, more tests will determine if the building can handle the necessary heating and ventilation requirements. But Hannah made it clear that, if feasible, the university is eager to reuse the barn. “It’s a sustainability thing for the university,” he said. “There’s all that good wood in there, it’s a beautiful old building and we would rather reuse it and preserve it than knock it down.” Recently, architectural drawings for both components were subcontracted to AODBT Architecture and Interior Design, a Saskatoonbased firm with previous experience designing modern childcare spaces.
Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor
This 100-year-old seed barn could potentially be reused as a childcare facility. Estimates show the Education Building renovation and expansion would cost $1.3 million and the seed barn refitting would run just over $3 million. Last May, the provincial government allocated $1.4 million in capital for childcare spaces at the U of S, and Hannah suggests that the university, faculty, students and community donors should provide the rest. Ideally, he explained, funding for
university childcare should come from “roughly equal donations from the government, the university, students and donors through a fundraising campaign.” The university has already committed to confirming a specific amount — probably in the range of $1 million — before summer. And a fundraising campaign targeting alumni is set to kick-off soon. After asking the U of S students’ union in December to implement a
fee hike that would have required an undergraduate referendum, Hannah was denied. Now, he is simply asking the union to back his request that the university implement a blanket increase for all students.
Daycare cont. on
1,000 points, 1,000 rebounds
Huskies forward Michael Lieffers angling for second championship KEVIN MENZ Sports Editor When the Huskies men’s basketball team hosts the Brandon University Bobcats at home on Jan. 27 and 28, it is very likely that Michael Lieffers will cross a career milestone. The 6-8 forward from Saskatoon became the 37th Huskie ever to reach 1,000 career points on Jan. 20 when he put up eight points in a game against the University of British Columbia Okanagan Heat. He is also only 14 boards shy of becoming the fifth Huskie ever to grab 1,000 rebounds. Lieffers, however, isn’t paying attention to the numbers.
Lieffers cont. on
Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor
Michael Lieffers has scored 1,000 points in just four years as a Huskie. He is also close to reaching 1,000 career rebounds.
2• News TRAVEL CUTS
Presentation Travel Europe with Contiki—Holidays for 18-35's
Thursday, February 2, 7:30 PM
M.C. CONACHER Signing Jonah’s Daughter
Saturday, February 4, 1:00 PM
run January 26, 12.indd 1
Arts Editor: Aren Bergstrom, arts@thesheaf. com Sports Editor: Kevin Menz, sports@thesheaf. com Opinions Editor: Michael Cuthbertson, opinions@ thesheaf.com Copy Editor: Holly Culp, copy@thesheaf. com Web Editor: Bryn Becker, web@thesheaf. com Ad & Business Manager: Shantelle Hrytsak, firstname.lastname@example.org
Board of Directors: Victoria Martinez, Andrew Roebuck, Blair Woynarski, Peter Yee, Asleigh Mattern Office Numbers: General 966-8688 Advertising 966-8688 Editorial 966-8689 Corporation Number #204724 GST Registration Number 104824891 Second Class Mailing Registration. #330336 The Sheaf is printed at Transcontinental Printing Ltd. 838 56th St. Saskatoon, SK Circulation this issue: 6,000
The Sheaf is a non-profit incorporated and student-body funded by way of a direct levy paid by all part- and full-time undergraduate students at the University of Saskatchewan (U of S). Membership in the Society is open to undergraduate The Sheafatisthe a non-profit incorporated and students U of S, but all members student-body by wayare of encouraged a direct levy of the U of Sfunded community paid by all partand newpaper. full-time undergraduate to contribute to the Opinions students at the University of Saskatchewan expressed in The Sheaf do not necessarily (U of S). Membership in the Society is open reflect those ofstudents The Sheaf to undergraduate at the Publishing U of S, but Society Inc.of the TheU Sheaf reserves the all members of S community are right to refuse to accept any encouraged to contribute to or the print newpaper. Opinions expressedunfit in for Thepublication, Sheaf do not material deemed as necessarily those of The Sheaf determined reflect by the Editor-in-Chief. The Publishing Inc. The Sheafduring reserves the the Sheaf is Society published weekly right to refuse to accept or print any material academic year and monthly from May deemed unfit for publication, as determined by through August. The TheSheaf Editor-in-Chief the Editor-in-Chief. is published has theduring rightthetoacademic veto any weekly year submission and monthly deemed for the SocietyThe newspaper. from Mayunfit through August. Editor-inChief has the right veto any In determining this,tohe/she willsubmission decide if deemed unfit the Society In the article or for artwork wouldnewspaper. be of interest determining this,portion he/she of will the to a significant thedecide Societyif and article or artwork would be of interest to a benefit the welfare of Sheaf readers. The significant portion of the Society and benefit Sheaf will of notSheaf publish any The racist, sexist, the welfare readers. Sheaf will homophobic, libelous not publish anyor racist, sexist,material. homophobic, or libelous material.
University to launch new online degree mapping tool in PAWS DegreeWorks may relieve some academic stress, but expect a learning curve BRYN BECKER Web Editor
01/16/12 2:21:05 PM
Editor-in-Chief: Ishmael N. Daro, editor@thesheaf. com Production Manager: Matthew Stefanson, layout@thesheaf. com Senior News Editor: Tannara Yelland, news@thesheaf. com Associate News Editor: Daryl Hofmann, news@thesheaf. com Photography Editor: Raisa Pezderic, photo@thesheaf. com Graphics Editor: Brianna Whitmore, graphics@ thesheaf.com
thesheaf.com/news • the sheaf •January 26, 2012
Understatement of the century: mapping out your degree progress can sometimes be confusing. Come on. Up until now, making sense of your academic achievements — total credits earned, actual program requirements, and how everything all fits together — has been like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle with Jenga blocks. Frustration levels have been known to shoot off the charts. When the towering stacks of crumpled papers, spreadsheets and broken dreams threaten to topple along with your sanity, academic advisers are the only ray of sunshine and logic at the end of the registration tunnel. Believe it or not, the university is aware of this. And they’re finally doing something about it.
t the end of January, the U of S will launch an online program called DegreeWorks, available to all undergraduate students in the College of Arts and Science. Accessible through PAWS, DegreeWorks is a piece of degree auditing and program advising software designed by the same company responsible for the current online student registration system — SunGard. But don’t fret, so far it seems that using DegreeWorks is less clunky than registering for classes. “It’s long overdue,” said Jamie McCrory, manager and assistant registrar at U of S student information systems (SIS). “The university has been thinking about a tool that does automated student advising sine the late ’90s.” SIS opted to purchase DegreeWorks in April of 2009, at a cost of roughly $200,000. Since then, they’ve invested more than a million dollars into the project, the vast majority of which consists of staff hours.
How does it work? D
egreeWorks can be broken down into four main components, or worksheets: degree audit, audit history, “What If” and “Look Ahead.” There is also a planner mode that lets you map out classes in future semesters, which looks ideal for meetings with academic advisers. The main degree audit page is the bread and butter of DegreeWorks and where you will probably spend most of your time. It shows a complete list of the classes you have taken and are currently enrolled in, along with your grades and the credits you have earned going toward fulfilling your degree requirements. It also shows a list of potential courses to complete your degree, complete with links to in-depth information from the course calendar. The audit
history page lets you travel back in time to look at your degree progress from various points in your academic career. The “What If” and “Look Ahead” tools are a little bit more abstract. “What If” works kind of like a hypothetical degree transplant. You can place yourself in any degree program and see where you would stand under the new requirements. For example, if you’re an English major, you can check to see how far your current credits would get your in a History program, or vice versa. “Look Ahead” is pretty self explanatory. With it, you can add hypothetical classes to your current audit to see what your degree progress would look like if you took that class.
complex step in the right direction
he wide release of DegreeWorks at the end of January follows a successful fourmonth trial period involving students from the college of Agriculture and Bioresources. More recently, the testing pool was expanded to include a random sampling of Arts and Science students as well. One important factor to bear in mind: they have been using an early version of DegreeWorks, meaning that what they experienced does not necessarily match the final product that will be rolled out to the masses. Some programs are not yet fully mapped into the system. These include those with very few students, double honours programs and programs where students are earning their second degree. Kathy Bergen, a third-year AgBio student who has had access to DegreeWorks since the fall, feels that while it can be finicky and confusing to begin with, it’s a step in the right direction.
“It’s useful for planning classes, instead of using the manual course calendar,” said Bergen. “But it looks like a huge wall of numbers. At first, I had no idea how to use it.” This sentiment was echoed by other students who hit the learning curve — hard. Another noteworthy complaint from several students is that DegreeWorks will, occasionally, display incorrect information about your degree progress. For example, certain credits won’t be applied in the correct categories. Quite a jarring error, but likely not reflective of the final product. Only time will tell. At this stage, considering the money and effort going into developing the program, it’s probably safe to assume that grievous errors in degree audits won’t linger for too terribly long. Until all the kinks are worked out, though, academic advisers can expect a few frantic phone calls and emails from students getting wonky degree information.
The extended three-year development period of DegreeWorks (which included a 12-month hiatus during which SIS shifted their focus to a separate project) can be chalked up to the sheer number of academic permutations that had to be considered. McCrory admitted that it was a daunting task. “We thought we had about 600 program variations initially — majors, minors, concentrations, etc. — but we found out quickly that we had more than 1,600.” It didn’t help that some of the degree regulations, requirements and rules aren’t in the university calendar, which has served as a “bible” throughout the development process. The team at SIS has had to work closely with academic advisers from various colleges in order to make sense of the nit-picky nuances unique to each degree. “We’ve taken down the majority of the work now,” McCrory was happy to say.
Adding it all up L
ike most fancy new tools, DegreeWorks will take some getting used to, especially when there are still a handful of potentially confusing bugs that have yet to be quashed, lurking under a somewhat intimidating outer surface. Bugs aside, there’s no doubting the fact that this kind of online, automated degree auditing software has been a long time coming. It has always been odd that there was no way to view your credits and degree progress mapped out online. It seems like an essential part of a modern university’s student services offerings. After years of development, the university has finally come through. All things considered (did someone mention Blackboard?), the university has done a remarkably solid job. Once you take the time to familiarize yourself with how the system works, untangling various layers of functionality, you’ll wonder what you did before DegreeWorks came online. Or you might catch a glimpse of a giant stack of cryptic papers and spreadsheets that only academic advisers can decipher. Nightmare fuel.
January 26, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/news
Budget cuts force University of Alberta to eliminate 10 faculty positions
Quebec students to strike March 22 SARAH DESHAIES Quebec Bureau Chief
Dan McKechnie/The Gateway
U of A Dean of Arts Lesley Cormack announces faculty cuts. ALEX MIGDAL The Gateway EDMONTON (CUP) — The University of Alberta’s faculty of arts has found nearly $500,000 in savings by closing three vacant faculty positions, but must cut a further $1 million from its budget, dean of arts Lesley Cormack announced at a public forum on Jan. 18. Closing the faculty positions will result in fewer support staff positions being eliminated. The Administrative Process Review Project, which is tasked with finding these savings, originally aimed to cut 15 support staff positions as the result of a two per cent budget cut. The faculty has found another $1 million in savings by eliminating seven tenured faculty positions from professors who have accepted retirement packages, which will take effect July 1. Those savings will go toward the next faculty-wide two per cent budget cut that will eliminate roughly $1.5 million from the arts budget on April 1. Savings from next year’s cuts will not be found by eliminating more non-academic and support staff, Cormack said. “My hope is that next year’s cut we can take with a combination of better management of our endowments, being able to use them
a little more creatively, fundraising and the closing of those [faculty] positions,” she said. In addition, the faculty will be offering a voluntary severance plan for both non-academic and academic staff, as well as a declaration of interest for those interested in reducing their full-time position to part-time. Cormack also addressed the issue of whether the budget cuts are diminishing the quality of education for students in the arts faculty. “Of course, anytime you take resources and people out of the system, of course it has consequences for those things. I think it would be foolish to say it does not,” she said. Cormack’s stance differed from that of U of A President Indira Samarasekera, who was quoted in the Edmonton Journal the day prior as saying the budget cuts were “modest” and would not have an impact on students. “I don’t buy the argument that the two per cent cut is going to change their experience,” Samarasekera told the Journal’s editorial board. “We have not laid off profs, the number has increased over the last five or six years and now it’s constant and may go down slightly.” Further staff restructuring is expected to continue until April.
MONTREAL (CUP) — After a day-long meeting Jan. 21 in Quebec City, the Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec and the Fédération étudiante collégiale du Québec have reaffirmed the intention to strike on March 22 to protest rising university tuition fees in the province. But first, the individual members groups need to seek approval from their constituents. “We have the mandate to ask our associations to go on strike, but first they need to ask their members if they want to, and then we will be able to say the FEUQ is on strike,” said president Martine Desjardins, who made the announcement with FECQ President Léo Bureau-Blouin in Montreal on Jan. 23. The date was chosen earlier in December to coincide with the timing of the release of the finance minister’s budget. Desjardins said that FEUQ, the student lobby group that is often a government negotiator, has not been invited to sit in on the pre-budget consultation meetings that are now taking place. After walking out of the same meetings in December 2010, she said their calls have not been answered by the finance department: “We asked them to talk with us. But they won’t do it.” Quebec Premier Jean Charest has said the government will go through with gradual tuition hikes, beginning in fall 2012, to culminate in a total rise of $1,625. Quebec permanent residents currently pay the lowest tuition fees in Canada, but FEUQ and FECQ, which represent about 200,000 students in universities and general and vocational colleges, or CEGEPs, across the province, assert that further tuition hikes could harm students’ finances. The education ministry could not be reached for comment.
Did you know that as a University of Saskatchewan undergrad, you partially pay for and own the Sheaf? It’s the “society” part of the Sheaf Publishing Society. So if there’s something you don’t like about the paper, you can tell us. You’re technically our boss! thesheaf.com/contact Twitter: @theSheaf1912
in brief Apple unveils e-textbooks Promising to lighten the backpacks of students everywhere, Apple revealed new iPad-based textbooks last week that could finally make the long-promised electronic textbook a reality. On Jan. 19, the company announced the update to its tablet-based iBooks, which can now include audio, video and interactive content. It also introduced a new free app for creating such interactive books, called iBooks Author. The iPad has already made an impact in education, with some schools offering the devices to students in order to better engage them with course material. More technology in the classroom may even help students' grades. Textbook publisher Mifflin Harcourt found, in a year-long study, that students who used its iPad algebra app rather than the textbook covering the same materials tended to score better on tests. The new iPad textbooks will target high school texts first, with an expansion into the college market planned for the future. Emergency phone service app launched
A new Canadian-made mobile app could come in handy in case of emergencies. Guardly, a Toronto-based company founded in 2010, has just released a suite of apps for iPhone, Android, BlackBerry and Windows-based devices aimed at university students. The Guardly app can quickly notify friends and family, campus safety and 911 operators in case of an emergency, along with the user's physical location. “It was a natural evolution of our technology, to enable a service like this for students,” CEO Josh Sookman said in announcing the expansion of Guardly to 67 Canadian universities and colleges.
“Given the high prevalence of sexual assault against women and increases in violent acts on some campuses, we feel this innovation should be something provided to students for free. So we’ve done just that!” When the app is launched on a smartphone, it automatically starts a 10-second countdown to call, text and email the user’s emergency contacts with a distress call, including the user’s location. People can also sign up to become “heroes” and join a local emergency network that can respond to distress calls on campuses. UBC introduces nonacademic acceptance criteria
Beginning with the 2012-13 school year, everyone applying to the University of British Columbia’s Vancouver campus direct-entry undergraduate programs will have to submit answers to about five “personal profile” questions in addition to high school marks. This broad-based admission system has been in place at UBC’s Sauder School of Business since 2004. It is intended to provide admissions officials with the information to “select students who will really engage in the life of the university,” according to Associate Vice-President and Registrar James Ridge. While the questions will deal with personal experience outside the academic sphere, the university says they will not involve simply listing the extracurricular activities a student has been able to participate in. American universities have faced criticism for their emphasis on extra-curricular activities, which some people claim leads to students overextending themselves in an effort to build up an impressive list of activities.
thesheaf.com/news • the Sheaf • January 26th, 2012
Activist says Canada’s mining giants exploit the South Human rights campaigner Grahame Russell to speak on campus Jan. 31 NICOLE BARRINGTON For many pampered Canadians, it is difficult to imagine a foreign company evicting an entire community, claiming the land for mining purposes and doing so without any form of government intervention. Sadly, this is the reality for thousands of displaced families living in South America — and at least 500,000 people in Guatemala alone. What’s even more difficult to fathom is that a handful of these mining companies are Canadian. Also surprising is that Canadian citizens greatly benefit from investments in these companies — perhaps in ways they haven’t considered. According to Canadian human rights activist Grahame Russell, this is only one example of “global economic order” at work. Russell was born and raised in Toronto, experienced a “totally awesome life” as a Canadian and was unconscious of human rights issues — until he travelled to Mexico as a young adult and came face-to-face with the poverty many citizens there live with. “I came to the conclusion that the countries of the global North are often part of the problem when it comes to understanding why there’s so much poverty in other parts of the world,” he said in a phone interview. Desperate to ease his conscience and also to bring the issue of poverty to others’ attention, Russell joined small, North American-based human rights groups specifically geared towards aiding Central America. Eventually, Russell joined Rights Action, a North American-based group that he co-directs and has been involved with for the past 15
oil, gas and military production companies. Russell suggests that perhaps this is something that most Canadians aren’t even aware of or that they prefer to not think about. “Yes, we’re responsible for what happens inside our borders, but it’s a global economy. And yes, there are positive and negative aspects to a global economy, but if Canadian companies are contributing and benefiting from violations and abuses, they should be held accountable. It’s a pretty simple moral position.”
Canadian mining companies are making shitty working conditions even worse down South. years. There are two main aspects of his job with Rights Action: fundraising for a wide range of “community-based projects” in Guatemala and Honduras and educational activism. Through educating privileged North Americans and promoting social activism, Russell aims to address the underlying causes of the injustices experienced by countries such as Guatemala and Honduras, where two-thirds of the population live below the poverty line. Both countries also suffer from “brutal military regimes,” according to Russell. “Mining becomes the perfect example” of these injustices, said Russell.
For the past 50 years, large, powerful nickel-producing companies such as Vale, whose headquarters are in Toronto, have bought land and built mines throughout Central America. Canadian companies HudBay Minerals, Goldcorp and Pacific Rim have also developed a mining presence in South America in recent years. While these corporations claim to provide economic benefits to the countries in which they operate, they have failed to gain the confidence, support or even consent of the locals in many cases. On their websites, they use words such as “sustainable” and “economic prosperity” to describe their
objectives, but acording to Russell, the local population is often subjected to serious health risks and human rights violations if they live in the vicinity of a mine. “There’s a wide range of environmental harm and destruction in these areas — women and animals are suffering abnormally high rates of miscarriages. People are dying from mercury poisoning.” Added Russell: “The governments are repressing the locals who want to stop these abuses.” Not only are Central American governments placing the interests of foreign investors over the needs of their impoverished, but the Canadian government is making it worse. According to Russell, Stephen Harper’s conservative government has been contributing to the problem rather than the solution, by taking advantage of the corrupt Honduran government, but is doing no worse than the previous Liberal majority, he says. “In Honduras, there was a military coup, which the Conservative government has played a really terrible role in — very similar to the previous government’s military coup in Haiti,” noted Russell, referring to Canada’s participation in the intervention that overthrew the elected government of Haiti in 2004. In 2009, the Honduran army exiled their democratically elected president in what the United Nations deemed a coup d’état. Russell believes that the Canadian government legitimized the coup, as it provided military training to members of the Honduran army. “In addition to support of these regimes, both recent governments have done a poor job of holding Canadian investment companies accountable.” Canadians are indirectly involved in these countries in other ways as well, and even benefit from mining companies taking advantage of South American countries. The Canada Pension Plan is highly dependent on mining, as well as
“If Canadian companies are contributing and benefiting from violations and abuses, they should be held accountable. It’s a pretty simple moral position.” Grahame Russell human rights activist
According to Russell, debate is essential to achieving better living standards for all citizens. This may prove difficult, however, because of a “fundamental lack of awareness” that he says needs to be dealt with first. Moving forward, Russell believes international law needs to be reformed to be more effective. There are currently a swath of international treaties, most of which have been around since 1945, including the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, but there is no political will to enforce them on an ongoing basis. “We live in the fiction of some 230 independent nations,” said Russell. “Everyone knows that it’s one functioning global community, for better and for worse.” Although Russell is optimistic, he acknowledges that sustainable change is very difficult and can only be done through chipping away relentlessly, consistently and peacefully at these economic issues. Russell also credits media — in particular alternative media — as integral to creating an ideological shift. “We have to be more critically aware about what our media does and things like ideological censorship,” said Russell. “Until we become aware of and hold ourselves accountable for our impact across the planet, little is going to change.”
Grahame Russell will cover these and related issues on Monday, Jan. 30 at the Frances Morrison Library, and Tuesday, Jan. 31 in the Neatby Timlin Lecture Theatre from 7 to 9 p.m.
January 26th, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/news
What will the end of the Wheat Board look like? Tories’ move is the last step in a decades-long debate TANNARA YELLAND Senior News Editor “What we’re seeing is an upheaval in the way grain is handled,” says professor Murray Fulton on the demise of the Canadian Wheat Board. Passed on Nov. 28, 2011, the Conservative-introduced Bill C-18 will go into effect on Aug. 1, 2012, and will end the CWB’s monopoly on selling Western Canadian wheat and barley internationally. Western Canadian farmers produce 21 tonnes of wheat, barley and durum annually, 80 per cent of which is exported overseas. While the bill does not legislate the dismantling of the board, it remains to be seen what, if any, kind of role the board will play in a deregulated grain market. Fulton is a professor of economics and policy with the University of Saskatchewan Johnson-Shoyama Graduate School of Public Policy. He presented a paper on the future of the CWB in December. According to Fulton, the economic impact of the bill — on both the cost side and the benefit side — has been overstated. What really matters is the philosophical change this signals. “This reflects a change in who is calling the shots in the grain industry,” Fulton said. “We have moved from an industry where farmers controlled a significant number of key institutions, key organizations within the grain industry, to where they don’t control much at all.” Until recently, small farmers were integral to the operation of the Canadian agricultural market, which in turn was an important part of the Western Canadian economy. Co-operatives such as the Manitoba and Saskatchewan Wheat Pools sprang up in the 1920s to purchase grain from farmers at what farmers considered fair prices. After the establishment of the CWB in 1935, the wheat pools existed mainly to run grain elevators. Over the past several decades, though, the farmers who have some control over the CWB have been fighting a losing battle to retain power in their own industry. Small, family-run farms have been increasingly replaced by larger operations. Many of these large farms seem to think they can benefit from the dismantling of the CWB by finding their own buyers internationally. Fulton disputes this belief because even at their largest, around 30,000 acres, individual farms are much too small to meet the needs of most foreign grain buyers. Large agricultural firms — the big three in Western Canada are Viterra, Cargill and Richardson — have also been moving into the market, and have challenged the idea that there should be a single purchaser of Western Canadian grain.
He said this would be “a nominal fee, possibly in the neighbourhood of five to 10 dollars per term, per student.… This would be a university-imposed fee, not a USSU fee.” The goal, he says, is to take the plan to the board of governors for preliminary approval this spring and to lock up the majority of funding before the end of the year. Early in the 2010-11 academic year, the USSU executive wrote a letter to President Peter MacKinnon advocating for more childcare spaces, which is essentially what sparked this project, Hannah said. “For [then-president] Chris Stoicheff and that executive, this was a really high-priority issue.” However, with the USSU’s bottom line still in the red due to the Place Riel project, president
Loss of farmer-owned co-ops has allowed ag companies to gain power. “If you go back,” Fulton said, “in the late ’80s there were the last large payments to farmers by the federal government to support incomes. In 1995 the farmers lost the crow rate,” a reduced rate at which farmers could ship their grain on a specific rail line. “The agricultural co-ops, Saskatchewan Wheat Pool, Manitoba Wheat Pool, they all disappeared in the early 2000s. So bit by bit, these parts of things that farmers controlled are falling away. This is kind of the last of the change that’s happened.” With the CWB removed from its role as the sole purchaser of Western Canadian grain, Fulton says it is very much up in the air whether the board will continue to exist at all. And while the board says it will continue to function, it faces stiff competition in the form of the large agriculture companies. Viterra, Cargill and Richardson together also control about 90 per cent of the capacity for handling and storing grain at the main ports in Canada. While the board can offer farmers a good deal and has extensive connections in the international market, it would need one of the large firms to lend it space at a port. Fulton is skeptical that this Scott Hitchings says it is not something he feels the USSU should dish out for. “We’ve shown no signs that we think students should pay for this,” he said, adding that students’ council will be discussing whether or not to support Hannah’s pitch at the Jan. 26 meeting. Additionally, before he agrees to support an increase, Hitchings said he wants to see official numbers for how many openings will be available to specific groups like undergraduates and aboriginal students, which is still undetermined. “I have no idea what [undergraduate] students think about this,” Hitchings said, “but we will find out from each college at council.” As of now, U of S childcare per capita ranks roughly in the middle of the pack compared to other Canadian universities, said James Pepler, an administrative staffer who did research for the project. But if the university doesn’t act soon, he added, we could find ourselves trailing.
will happen, since it would mean a company putting another firm’s needs before its own. “It would be a bit like a GM car dealership saying, ‘We have display space, we can advertise Fords in our showroom,’ so that people coming in could buy Fords from them as well.They probably wouldn’t do that, and the reason is that they think they can sell Chevs if they keep Fords out of the showroom.” If the Wheat Board does fail in the newly opened market, there are many possible
outcomes. Proponents of the board’s removal, many of them in the Conservative Party, claim that this will allow farmers to extract a fair market price for their grain, which would, of course, be good for farmers. They have laid out scenarios involving increased economic activity and more jobs, and say this will be a boon for the larger economy as well as for individual farmers. Opponents of the bill, from members of the CWB itself to the Agriculture Workers’ Alliance and politicians in all the main federal political parties aside from the Conservative Party, believe that in the free market farmers are likely to suffer dramatic losses at the hands of corporate giants. Without the CWB to step in during times of trouble, farmers will be at the mercy of the market. The reality, as Fulton sees it, will be much less severe than any of these possibilities. Some farmers who live close to larger centres and have access to all three agricultural companies may see a modest increase in the money they get for their grain, because the firms will compete for the grain. Others who only live in the vicinity of one company may lose money. Neither group is likely to see a significant change. The larger economic change will be on the side of the agribusiness firms, which stand to gain an enormous amount of money. By Viterra’s own estimation, it will be bringing in an extra $40 million to $50 million per year by 2014. Much of this money will come from farmers, Fulton says. “Now, you take that over all the farmers and for each farmer that’s not all that much,” he said. “Some farmers won’t see much of a change at all; they may even benefit.” Others will be less lucky. “I don’t think it’s going to have a huge impact on the overall economy,” Fulton said. “I do think that this is going to put a lot more money in the hands of the agribusiness companies, the rail companies, the grain companies.”
YOUR ADVENTURE BEGINS HERE!
SALE! FLEECE • BACKPACKS JACKETS • SPORTSWEAR HIKING BOOTS • TRAVEL PACKS SLEEPING BAGS • TENTS follow us on
STUDENT DISCOUNT 630 BROADWAY AVENUE
O pinions 6•
thesheaf.com/opinions • the sheaf • January 26th, 2012
Canadians are the truly Am I a feminist? guilty party in politics Celebrating our differences CHARITY THIESSEN
Brianna Whitmore/Graphics Editor
Tomas Borsa Every now and then, several events coincide to renew interest in public affairs. For a fleeting moment, politics can appear sexy, invigorating, even meaningful. This is one such time. The Republican primaries are firmly underway, and once again, four cretinous white men with varying degrees of dementia and fervour are creakily jostling to secure the Presidential nomination. Meanwhile, the ruling Democrats recently rejected the construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline, much to the chagrin of anyone with stocks in cowboy hats, and much to the delight of anyone whose IQ hovers at or above 70, or understands the concept of “risk.” And just last week, the Stop Online Piracy Act and Protect IP Act were similarly prevented from any further legislative deliberation, after Wikipedia and every impassioned Facebook user with the meagrest appreciation for torrents banded together to call attention to the absurdity of the proposed laws. Closer to home, the delightfully vapid and ideologically misguided omnibus crime bill is set to slither its way through Parliament, promising more prisons, higher incarceration rates and a $717 million tab over the next five years. Each of these examples has garnered a considerable amount of controversy in its own right. Be it on CNN, CBC or the front page of CNET, most will have heard and maybe even formed an opinion about at least one of these recent, salient political affairs. Could it be that this surge in public interest marks a genuine societal shift toward an altogether more politically active and engaged form of citizenship? Unfortunately, no.
A modern North American democracy is not about contributing toward impactful societal change through the use of public forums, nor about celebrating the agency each of us is granted over our respective futures. Ours is a democracy that functions to provide the right to exclude oneself from political participation. It is less a platform for civil deliberation than it is a tool for the guilt-free diffusion of responsibility, where a disinterested public is given permission to limit its political contribution to an hour or two’s inconvenience of standing in line at a gymnasium polling station and circling a name on a piece of paper, once every four years or so. Having flexed their sagging muscles of accountability, the less than two in three eligible Canadian voters who bother to turn up are then free to return to the more pressing matters in their life, like microwaving a burrito and updating their Twitter feed. In the current state of affairs, the onus for providing a government attuned to the needs of Canadians falls squarely and exclusively on the shoulders of elected officials. This is the hallmark of our representative democracy: individual decision making is off-loaded to someone else who we hope gives a touch more of a shit than we do. It’s a convenient arrangement, because it saves the public from having to stay informed, while providing legitimate ammunition for complaint when — inevitably — the odd piece of violently misinformed legislation floats to the surface of the porcelain. But ours is also a dangerous and precarious arrangement, and one that causes more harm than it does good. In the last federal election, 39.6 per cent of Canadians voted for the Conservative Party.
Put differently, 60.4 per cent of Canadians did not vote for the Conservative Party. Evidently, we’ve got things a bit back-to-front when it comes to the matter of “public input.” What would happen if the paradigm were reversed — if the electing public was held accountable for the actions of its leaders? If this were the case, we the people would be forced to answer for our own political misgivings and miscalculations. Consider that the aforementioned omnibus crime bill will, according to one estimate, cost $717 million over the next five years; now consider that casting a ballot is meant to represent an endorsement beyond charisma and hairstyle, to a declaration in the most official of capacities of confidence in a party’s ability to make informed and broadly-benefiting decisions. All facetiousness aside (only briefly, I promise), imagine if an index had been kept of each ballot cast by each citizen. Having expressed their full confidence in the social and economic stances of the Conservative Party, those 5,832,401 Canadians who cast ballots in the party’s favour could be contacted and fairly asked to cover their share of the cost of a bill which, as per their collective wishes, has begun the long and wintry trek toward legal institution. Split evenly, that would work out to a piddly $122.90 per supporter over five years. By golly, that’s less than half the cost of a new hunting crossbow! But alas, this will never happen. To frame political participation in anything but a hierarchical model would imply the abandonment of our right to let someone else deal with it. And for that, for once, we have no one to blame but ourselves.
Am I a feminist? What is a feminist anyway? There seem to be a lot of opinions about them, and there is always that braless, hairy, man-hating stereotypical image which I don’t think I fit. Although shaving is a real pain and some days hating men would not be that hard, I don’t want to have to try and be a man so I can make it in the world, and I don’t want to be put into some prescribed role because I admit that I am a woman. The major downfall of the feminist movement is that, in some cases, the battle became against men instead of for women. Respect and honor is not gained by disrespect and dishonor. Trampling underfoot those who once walked over you will not improve anything. Another major issue creeps in when equality becomes associated with homogeneity, instead of unity amidst diversity. Men and women are obviously not the same. Neither are all men the same or all women the same. So I’m troubled by phrases like, “that’s a real man” or “that’s a real woman,” as though you don’t make the cut unless you meet a certain criteria. But none of your actions or tendencies makes you any more of less of a woman or man. I am no more of a woman than any other woman. But there’s this image in many cultures that men feel the need to uphold, which makes it hard feeling okay with just being yourself. It also makes it hard for men to have a woman “above” them in any way, leading to a pattern of power and control — abuse, in other words — just to keep male privilege intact. I am in no way saying this image is pursued by every man, but it’s clearly pervasive in many cultures of the world. This image leads to half the world’s population being marginalized simply because they were born female. It’s all too easy to spot this marginalization. All you have to do is compare the literacy rates of men and women around the world, or the numbers of those living in poverty. Or consider the millions of women who are trafficked and sold for sex around the world, or the fact that a woman in North America will earn around 30 per cent less than a man with the same qualifications — even less if they’re a racial minority. And in the U.S. alone, a women is battered by her husband, boyfriend or live-in partner every 15 seconds, and on average three of those women are killed every day by these intimate partners. Then there are religious views that can stifle the equal rights of women. Take the Genesis description of a woman being a “helpmeet.” I don’t even know what that is supposed to mean, but it is probably a word that a bunch of men translating the Bible came up with to keep women in a position of servitude. And the Bible often uses the word “submission” to describe a
virtuous woman. I have personally sat in church where a man behind the pulpit taught that a woman should never be allowed to speak in church, although I did preach in that same church a couple weeks later. But the idea of women being, in some way, less than men remains prominent in many religions and cultures. I used to feel there was an image of a woman that I wanted nothing to do with. I didn’t realize it but, growing up, I lived to prove that I was not a weak woman, but was as strong as a man. I played football, I didn’t hold babies, I didn’t cook — I still don’t really cook, but for different reasons — and I would definitely never admit that I needed a man. Somewhere along the way I picked up the message that to be a woman meant weakness, so the last thing I wanted to be was a woman. Fortunately, a little further down the road I realized that I could be a woman and be strong. I could just be myself and it didn’t matter if I wanted to hold a baby or not — or if I could tackle a guy twice my size. This is a good thing, because I am a woman and I do need men. A very practical example would be changing my own oil. I know how to do it, but I can never get the plug off the oil pan, and I usually have to get a man to do it for me. A few years ago that would have bothered me a lot, but now I’m okay with it. Surely the feminist movement has brought a lot of progress. I am going to be applying for medical school next year and about half of those who get in will be women — the way it should be. There is almost more stigma placed on being “just” a stay-at-home mom these days, which is not good. What is the point of replacing one archetype of what a woman should be for a different one? What women need is the freedom to be ourselves. Men need this too. There are men out there who will be better nurses and “moms” than I will ever be. The key should be respect. We all deserve respect whether we ask for it or not. Take a woman’s body for example. I can choose to respect myself whether other people — especially men — choose to or not. In fact, I can even respect the men who disrespect me. Maybe instead of demanding respect I should just give it. Imagine if men respected all women, even the ones that didn’t ask for it; or if everyone respected each other. So yes, I will say I am a feminist, even though I would not walk down the street saying I’m a slut, as people in the SlutWalk movement have done. Every human being is of great value, yet all over the world women are being oppressed, discriminated against, bought, sold and abused. And that “helpmeet” word in the Bible, as it turns out, actually meant something more along the lines of a powerful equal, so hopefully one of these days we can work together as equals, each contributing our strengths and helping another where they are weak.
January 26th, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/opinions
thesheaf.com/opinions • the Sheaf • January 26th, 2012
The joys of masturbation Desiree Lalonde Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your sexual partner could get inside of your head? If they knew exactly how to touch you, exactly how it made you feel? Well folks, you don’t need to look very far to find this Casanova because that sexy person is you! Masturbation is not just an activity I indulge in, but it is as much a part of my routine as brushing my teeth or going to the gym. The weird looks shot my way when I talk about masturbation with my fellow ladies, or interject my own opinions on touching myself with a group of guys, leads me to believe that, maybe, not all women masturbate. Female anatomy and sexuality are anything but simple, and learning them can be timeconsuming and frustrating. Don’t get discouraged ladies: we have plenty of tools to get the sex juices flowing. Diamonds were a girl’s best friend, until sex toys were electrified to produce good vibrations. Female-friendly porn, while elusive, can inspire you in many ways. So explore what sights turn you on. Maybe it’s an orgy or maybe it’s girls caressing each other. Whatever you like, learning what gets you off and stimulating yourself in different ways is a thrilling and fulfilling ride.
A statue in Jeju Loveland, a park in South Korea devoted to sexuality. Everyone knows guys touch themselves. If they say that they don’t, then they are lying. People rarely talk about girls masturbating though. If ladies do pleasure themselves they are discreet about it — and that is perfectly fine. Masturbation is an act of self-gratification, so you don’t need to share it with everyone if you don’t wish to. It is about sexual discovery and exploration without the pressure or judgements of others. There are benefits, however,
to sharing your intimate pleasure with others. Female bodies are difficult to manoeuvre, so discussing what feels good with your lady friends could help you learn how to better please yourself. It is also worth sharing with your sexual partner so that they can know how to better pleasure you. Playing with yourself is not only intimate and arousing, but can also lead to more self-awareness. Openly admitting that we masturbate is also sexually
empowering. Sexual empowerment is about acknowledging yourself as a sexual being deserving of sexual respect and pleasure. Realize that there is no reason to feel guilty or abnormal about a little selfindulgence. If embarrassment or shame is keeping you from sexually satisfying yourself, or from sharing your leisure activity with others, you should consider this: stimulating yourself has many health benefits. So do it for your health.
Getting hot and bothered with yourself is a cardio workout. It can, among other benefits, make you sweat, lower blood pressure and burn calories! For males, ejaculating flushes out the prostate gland, reducing the risk of prostate cancer and infections. Orgasm in females reduces yeast infections and alleviates menstrual cramp pain. Your immune system could also use the boost. Not only is self-love good for you physically, it is great for your mental health. Being intimate with yourself decreases depression and anxiety. It is relaxing and euphoric, which makes it a great way to get drowsy before bed. I fall asleep almost instantly and sleep better following a session with myself. Masturbation is also a safe form of sexual pleasure (but you should wash your hands, with soap). By getting personal with your genitals you can notice any potentially harmful changes, such as a sore caused by an STI, or a lump in the testicles. It will also make you less shy discussing your sexual health with a medical professional. After all, everyone needs to look out for their sexual health, not just those having sex. Nobody is capable of knowing you like you do. So don’t be shy — get to know yourself! It will be a very pleasurable encounter.
Dear Nickelback An open letter to the third-best band to ever come out of Hanna, Alberta Brendan Kergin The Omega (Thompson Rivers University) I’ve been able to bottle it up until now. It has been boiling in the background, but I put a lid on it and let it be. But now — now you’ve done it. You have, once again, ended up nearly at the top of U.S. record sales. Sure, other Canadians have joined you in the Top 10 album sales spotlight — Bublé, Drake and Bieber to be specific. Buble: Great guy, sap music; he’s a wash to me. Drake: Don’t know him, and that’s enough. Bieber? Inauthentic bubble-gum crap, but at least we know it. But you, sirs, of the “our name is the grammatically incorrect way to give change to a customer” tribe, I take issue with. It’s not just that I dislike the music. It's that the music is essentially wholesale copyright infringement. It’s all so similar, the only reason it’s not plagiarism is that you’re not willing to sue yourselves. It has all the sonic creativity of a muffler. Okay, so you don’t intend to revolutionize the way music is played. No one is comparing you to, well, any worthwhile musician. Your lyrics I find more
Rock and Racehorses/Flickr
Chad Kroeger still celebrating his appointment as No. 5 on Spike TV’s ugliest Rock frontmen. offensive. They’re the WWE of poetry. Half are sappiness repackaged for testosterone-based life forms. The other half seem
to be based on a half-dozen KISS songs. Playing Scrabble against you would be a joy, but would likely lack the mental stimulation
of washing dishes. But the thing that bothers me the most is that you exist. You are proof that marketing is more
powerful than culture or taste. You project an idea of masculinity that is not only unhealthy for the individual, but also for society. You’re practically creating an army of unthinking clones who look at your lifestyle and agree that, “Sure, getting drunk off cheap corporate beer and watching guys fight on TV is probably what I want to achieve in my life.” You are seemingly run by marketing executives so morally bankrupt I bet tobacco lobbyists meet up with them to hear tales of the dark side. And that’s where my anger lies. Not with the man-children up on stage, reliving fantasies of junior high. It’s the Nickelback that exists in the boardroom. Adding insult to injury, you just booked a massive, 39-city North American tour for this spring and summer. You are still apparently relevant, what, 10 years after your only real hit? Since then it’s been a constant Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V on album after album. So where does that leave us? I’m not sure about you, but I’m going to go listen to a three-yearold bang on a pot. Sure, it may not be produced to someone’s idea of sonic perfection, but at least it's authentic.
January 26th, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/opinions
The insatiable thirst of consumers Timmy’s steps it up a cup extra large large
(formerly extra large)
3 million cups purchased per day
Brianna Whitmore/Graphics Editor
Lindsay Wileniec On Jan. 23, Tim Hortons hot cup sizes were shuffled down in scale to accommodate the new and improved extra large size. Your small double-double is now an extra-small, your medium is now a small and so forth. The newest addition to the homegrown franchise’s cup family is a rather large 24 ounces. This new size sits neatly between the McDonald’s medium (21 ounces) and large (32 ounces) soft drink sizes, and stands a couple ounces shy of that two-six one must have consumed the previous night to warrant a coffee so large. I consider myself to be a relatively small-bladdered human, so you will not see me lugging one of these new extra larges around (although even I can appreciate the fitting name change from the thimble-sized small to extra small). One wonders whether anyone really needs this much coffee on a regular basis. Health Canada recommends no more than 400 milligrams of caffeine per day for the average, healthy adult. One 24-ounce cup of Tim Hortons coffee contains about 240 milligrams of caffeine. So as long as you keep these mammoth-sized beverages out of children’s reach and stick to only one extra large a day, all should be well. The problem, of course, is that it’s not just Tim Hortons. In January of 2011, Seattle-based Starbucks introduced their own new extra large into U.S. markets, the 31-ounce “trenta.” Mind you, the trenta size is for their iced beverages only, which usually contain more ice than beverage. Why the current trend of upsizing? I am going to rule out the assumption that North Americans are just getting that much thirstier. The trenta is bigger than the average human stomach, and there’s no way anyone really needs that much iced coffee. However, the trenta and the new Tim Hortons extra large are the best deals financially. This desire to get the best marginal deal is what sells the get-18-beers-for-the-priceof-15 Budweiser pack, and compels people to buy 25 pounds of hummus from Costco. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve been there with the tub of hummus that expires long before I can eat it all. It has almost become second nature to want more for less, regardless
of the quality. Some people wonder why they should buy a 12-ounce cup of quality brewed coffee, when they could get 24 ounces of mediocre coffee for half the price. Some people are concerned this new adjustment to the sizes will only add to the mountains of Tim Hortons litter we’ve grown accustomed to. And they may be right. However, as far as I can see, the blame falls solely on the shoulders of consumers. Tim Hortons does offer a 10-cent discount if you use a travel mug and, unlike Starbucks, if your order is to stay they serve your warm bevvy in a classy, branded china mug. The 10 cents may not be much incentive for some, but for those who genuinely care about the environmental effects of the three-millionand-something cups of coffee sold daily by Tim Hortons, it isn’t really about the discount. As is apparent, consumers will consume non-essentials as long as franchise giants, such as Tim Hortons, realize the elasticity of demand present in their market. There is a reason the new extra large costs exactly $1.90; if it were priced at $2.10 the target market may just stick with the large. Somewhat sly pricing such as this is what fuels consumerism. The old woman in me cannot help but dread the day when this 24-ounce extra large is the new small. I can just imagine the special handles they will need to invent so that people’s small hands can hold cups bigger than their torsos. Although regular people largely drive this overconsumption and waste, it’s also the responsibility of Mr. Horton himself. Tim Horton, the company founder, was not some kind of devil, and I don’t like to compare Tim Hortons to franchises such as McDonald’s or Starbucks, because Tim Hortons does aim to serve healthy and fresh food and beverages. Tim Hortons also makes an effort within the Canadian community with initiatives such as their Children’s Foundation and countless local programs. As well, Tim Hortons contributes to our economy in a big way, in large part by supplying over 100,000 jobs nationwide. It could very well be their successful marketing strategy that convinces me that Tim Hortons is truly Canadian and all good, but I’d like to believe I’m not so naive as to associate Tim Hortons with some part of
the Canadian in me. I realize their comparative advantage on cheap ingredients is taking business from local bakeries and coffee shops, which is kind of depressing. But I guess at some point I will have to come to terms with the fact that not everyone cares this much about ethical coffee consumption. Not everyone
wants to sit down and have a small cup of fair trade coffee that is the price of half an hour’s work at minimum wage. I totally get that. I do not value a cup of coffee at $4.50, hence my home-brewed cup of joe in an aluminum Contigo travel mug — that I got from Costco.
What difference do universities make? The annual Academic Address by Provost and Vice-President Academic Brett Fairbairn Other institutions offer degrees, so how are universities different? What are the distinguishing features of a university, why do they matter and how does the U of S differentiate itself?
� Noon to 1 pm, Thursday, February 9
at Convocation Hall
All students, faculty and staff are welcome to attend.
The address will also be broadcast live at www.usask.ca/vpacademic
thesheaf.com/opinions • the Sheaf • January 26, 2012
Addicted to our phones Get out there and shovel! Hailie Nyari Addiction. That’s right; I’m calling all phone users on it. You’re addicted. I know you’re probably raising your eyebrows at me right now. I’m sure I would be too if I hadn’t given this subject some thought. But this isn’t a lecture to all you texters about how phone use is bad for you or how you have lost all ability to directly communicate with real people. I can remember getting a gold watch for my sweet 16. It had its fair share of praise from all of the adults around me and I tried sporting it for maybe all of two days. Now that gold watch sits in its box, ticking furiously because it is being ignored. Watches and watch wearers are a dying breed. A recent study showed that the average phone user checks their phone 34 times per day. That’s once every 18 minutes. So, if all you phone users are checking your phones every 18 minutes, you don’t need to wear a watch because you always have the time. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just means that our society has advanced, once again, to another way of telling time. After all, we are always improving our technologies. We have a consistent need to make everything better, greater and bigger. But as more and more parts of our lives get shrunk and loaded onto our phones, we become ever more reliant on them. Picking up your smartphone is an addiction because of the rush you get. Think back to the last time you checked your phone and there wasn’t a message on it. If you’re
anything like me, you felt a small twinge of disappointment that a fellow phone user didn’t take the time to send you a quick “howdy-do.” Now, what about that time that you checked your phone and saw that magical number on top of your message box stating that someone had texted you? Did you maybe do a small happy-dance inside your head? Well, I can almost guarantee you at least rushed to read that message. Or how about that time when you absentmindedly set your phone down on the table, went to reach for it in your pocket and realized it wasn’t there? Your heart started beating faster, you started furiously patting your body and basically did a tiny freak-out because you just lost your entire world. My phone, for example contains everything: all my contacts (whose numbers I don’t have memorized because they are only a click away), my way to secretly stalk people without them knowing (Facebook and Twitter make it easy), my calendar of my life’s events and all those other little doodads that make my already easy university life even easier. When my phone recently went in for servicing, I felt like I lost a part of myself. Yes, I had a loner phone — a CrackBerry, of all things. Oh the horror! It wasn’t the same. I genuinely missed my phone. Yes, I told people that. And yes, I did get “WTF?” looks. Looking at myself and the people around me, it’s clear that “addiction” is the only appropriate word for how we use our phones.
Pro tip: burying a dead body under snow is rarely a long-term solution.
University area sidewalks are dangerously icy Catherine Nygren Every day, I walk to university. I see many of my kind, heads down against the wind, squinting into the sun checking for traffic and shifting anxiously, waiting for the College Drive crosswalk light to turn. Lately, however, we have faced a new enemy on our daily jaunts. I see my comrades’ eyes glued to the sidewalk, their feet placed carefully, walking in fear of the slippery ice that causes gymnastic feats more appropriate for some twisted Cirque du Soleil performance. This ice is caused, of course, by a combination of people not cleaning their sidewalks and warm temperatures. One is far more welcome than the other. Numerous citizens of Saskatoon, however, seem not to know or care about this rule. On my walks to school, about half the sidewalks are regularly cleared of snow and ice. Unfortunately, many of the residences closest to the University— that get the most foot traffic — are also the worst at clearing snow, preferring instead to let dozens of students slowly pack down a path. A few sidewalks along Bottomley Ave. over these last weeks had at least two inches of ice. Many students opted to walk on the patchy grass or even the road, taking advantage of what paltry traction they could find.
The recent cold snap and large snowfall inspired people to get out and shovel instead of letting pedestrians make their own way. However, with the weather warming up to over zero again, ice is quite likely to return. Of course, not everyone can easily clean off the snow; some are elderly, or have health concerns or mobility restrictions. Non-profit community organizations, money-hungry kids and good neighbours fill the gaps here. The city has wisely instigated a “snow angels” program recognizing those admirable individuals who help their neighbours clear snow. The remainder of those who consistently refuse or forget to shovel their sidewalks, I must conclude, suffer from laziness and indifference. Uncleared sidewalks can be reported to the city, who will check the site and request that it be cleared. No fines will be placed. However, if the city has to clear the sidewalk, the cost, from $100 to $150, will be added to the property taxes. Perhaps if more pedestrians call in and raise awareness about the often deplorable state of the sidewalks, we’ll be able to walk to school, to a friend’s or just as a break from studying without having to focus all our energy on staying upright. I live in a house. I know it’s a tad annoying to go shovel snow for a few minutes, especially when it’s cold. But bundle up, take a break from Jersey Shore and Skyrim, and for the love of your fellow students and pedestrians, clean the snow off your sidewalk!
January 26, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/sports
Huskies split wins with Bisons Questionable shootout goal propels Manitoba to victory COLE GUENTER It was a controversial finish. On Jan. 21, in the second of two games the Huskies women’s hockey team played against the visiting Manitoba Bisons, the Dogs lost 4-3 in a shootout. Both teams had to send five shooters before Bisons forward Nellie Minshull scored the only goal of the breakaway contest. Minshull, however, fumbled the puck on her way to the net and had to stop to reach back and retrieve the puck before she fired it through Huskies goaltender Mackenzie Rizos’ five-hole. The crowd and the Huskies bench erupted when the goal was allowed, thinking that the play should have been considered dead when Minshull was forced to stop and turn back. After some referee deliberation the goal was still counted, giving Manitoba the extra point and the win. “I don’t know how she makes that call,” commented Huskies head coach Steve Kook in regards to the referee’s decision. “Our goalie thought it was a dead play. Their player thought it was a dead play and probably shot the puck because she was pissed off.” The official ruling on shootout and penalty shots is that the puck, not the player, must be kept in motion towards the goal line. Therefore, as long as the puck did not stop in its forward movement the goal was rightfully allowed. Huskies forward Danny Stone started the scoring in the first period for the Dogs and added another midway through the second frame with help from the nifty passing of Julia Flinton and Breanne George. The Bisons’ Caitlin MacDonald and Addie Miles each potted a goal to tie the game at two going into the third period. Manitoba then took their first lead of the game three minutes into the third frame when Amy Lee tallied one. The Dogs managed to tie it up again late in the third period after a long slap shot from the point rang off the post and bounced to a wide open Sara White, who easily pushed it past the goal line for her sixth goal of the year. Overtime solved nothing despite a twominute man advantage for the Huskies after Manitoba’s Caitlin MacDonald got called for holding. The shootout ensued and Manitoba won with Minshull’s effort. It wasn’t the first time these two teams needed extra time to find a winner. The previous night’s game also went into overtime with the teams knotted at two goals each after 60 minutes. Huskies forward Cara Wooster came up big in that game, scoring 3:28 into the extra frame to give the Dogs a 3-2 win. “I jumped off the bench and went all the way around the net, the puck landed on my stick and the goalie overplayed it so I was able to put it into the open net,” she explained. That goal counts as Wooster’s second overtime winner this year and puts her at sixth in the Canada West points race. Wooster isn’t about to rest on those stats, however, and going into the bye week she recognizes the team can still improve. “We need to get back to hard work,” she said. “We can’t dwell on this loss too long. We got three out of four points [this weekend], but we need to move on.” Huskies Lindsay Karst and Julie Paetsch both scored in the weekend’s first game to give the Dogs a 2-0 lead early in the second period. The lead shrunk to one before the second intermission, though, with a power play goal from Manitoba’s Minshull. Then in the final frame the Bisons scored their second
Cara Wooster, donning the Huskies “Play for a Cure” jerseys, scored the overtime winner Jan. 20. goal on the man advantage, this one coming off the stick of Caitlin MacDonald. The Dogs were sporting their special “Play For A Cure” jerseys in that game. Play For A Cure, held by Huskie Athletics, raises funds and awareness for cancer research. The jerseys were sold to fans and Huskie alumni following the game, and the team sold raffle tickets for a pink Play For A Cure quilt. The Huskies raised a total of $3700 towards the charity, but that amount will rise as more jerseys are still being sold. “Cancer is one of those diseases that no matter whom you know, someone is always affected by it, and I think it’s great that the team does something to try and help out,” said Rizos. “We are all people, and to do something beyond hockey to help the community and the Canadian Cancer Society is great.” The women’s team will rest up this week as they enjoy a week off. They will resume play Feb. 3 and 4 when they travel to Calgary to take on the Dinos, who boast a 9-1 home record.
Bisons trample Dogs
The Huskies men’s hockey team suffered its first back-to-back regulation losses of the season last weekend as they fell 4-2 and 3-1 to the University of Manitoba Bisons. The losses were only the Dogs’ fourth and fifth of the season. They still sit tied with Alberta at first in the Canada West, sporting a 15-5-2 record. Maintoba is two points behind with a 14-42 record. The Huskies, who have a bye week this weekend, will host Calgary at Rutherford Rink Feb. 3 and 4. They have yet to lose at Rutherford this year — their only home loss came at the Credit Union Centre on Oct. 21.
With files from Kevin Menz
Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor
12• Sports Lieffers
“My girlfriend was just saying that I’m getting close to 1,000 rebounds,” said Lieffers. “She told me a number but I can’t really remember what it was.” His focus is on winning a national championship — something he also did in 2009-2010 with the Huskies. Lieffers, who played a year at Lakeland College in Lloydminster before joining the Huskies in 2008, was a major part of the Dogs’ firstever Canada West and Canadian Interuniversty Sport title wins. Those wins were dedicated to their teammate Brennan Jarrett. In 2008, when Lieffers was in his first-year with the Huskies, he — along with the entire Saskatchewan team — lost Jarrett to cancer. It was an event that changed Lieffers’ perspective on basketball completely. “Brennan was an incredible guy,” he said. “He always lived with the motto that with privilege comes great responsibility. Everyday I try to think about that; to realize how privileged you are to be able to play and just to be here.” Now, after witnessing a seasonending knee injury to team captain Nolan Brudehl, Lieffers is only reminded of Jarrett’s motto. Nolan “may never be able to run again,” said Lieffers. “An injury like that is incredible and it makes you realize how privileged you are
thesheaf.com/sports • the Sheaf • January 26, 2012 to play basketball.” It also makes Lieffers laugh at the panic he felt when he thought he had suffered a potentially serious injury prior to the 2009-2010 CIS semi-final. According to Lieffers, he had slipped on a wet bathroom floor while getting ready to leave for the game. “My heels just went way up in the air instantly. My feet hit the toilet. The toilet jumped into the air and it exploded. I smashed my knee on the vanity, hit my head on the door. The [toilet] came crashing down and water just started” spraying everywhere. He suffered a deep gash on his right ankle and was rushed to the hospital via ambulance. The news spread throughout the tournament and to TSN that Lieffers might not play. This was not true. The ambulance supervisor, clearly a basketball fan, stayed at the hospital, waiting for Lieffers to receive his stitches. Once Lieffers was treated, the supervisor rushed him back to the game. Lieffers arrived just before tip-off and, as if nothing had happened, he put up a double-double — 13 points and 11 rebounds — in the game. “I thought that if I get a chance to play tonight, I’m just going to focus and leave everything on the floor,” he told Global Saskatoon following the tournament. It’s that mentality that keeps Lieffers gunning for another championship. “I don’t really care about making an all-star or whatever. For me it’s about getting that ring. That’s what really matters.”
Dogs perfect on weekend
The Sheaf will hire for next year’s staff in March. Until then, you should build up your portfolio by contributing lots and lots. Or, you know, you could just contribute for funsies.
Huskies forward Kiera Lyons shoots over a UBC Okanagan defender. KEVIN MENZ Sports Editor
Dogs women too much for Canada West scoring leader
A 92-55 stomping over the University of British Columbia Okanagan Heat on Jan. 20 didn’t go to the Huskies’ heads when they faced the Thompson Rivers Wolf Pack the following night. Saskatchewan knew they would be facing a much stronger opponent. “I think we all knew that this game was going to be a lot more competitive than the last game,” said Huskies first-year forward Dalyce Emmerson, whose 13 points and 14 rebounds led the Dogs to a 70-62 win over the Wolf Pack. Emmerson, who has seven doubledoubles this year, was charged with the daunting task of covering Canada West scoring leader Diane Schuetze. “I knew Diane Schuetze was going to be a good player but I didn’t realize she was such a threat from all over the floor,” said Emmerson. “At first it was a bit of a shock to me but I think I adjusted well in the second half.” Schuetze, a fourth-year forward, had a game-high 31 points. 16 of those came in the first quarter, however, as Emmerson adjusted well to covering her.
“Coach told me to sit more on her left shoulder because that’s where she goes,” said Emmerson, who had “to battle her so she didn’t get the position that she wanted.” Despite holding a 5-9 record and sitting in second-last place in the Canada West conference’s Pacific division, the Wolf Pack have come close to downing the country’s top teams this year. They came within five points of beating Canadian Interuniversity Sport’s No. 1-ranked Regina Cougars on Nov. 26 and, on the weekend prior to meeting the Huskies, nearly upset the No. 3 University of British Columbia Thunderbirds in a close 59-55 loss. “They’re a quality team. We knew we’d have our hands full,” said Dogs head coach Lisa Thomaidis. “Thankfully we came out with the win.” Against UBC Okanagan, Emmerson put up a game-high 17 points to accompany her 11 rebounds.
Huskies men add two wins
Led by Peter Lomuro and Jamelle Barrett, the Huskies men’s basketball team walked all over the visiting UBC Okanagan Heat and Thompson Rivers Wolf Pack Jan. 20 and 21, respectively. Lomuro, who put up 18 points in Saskatchewan’s 96-67 win over the
Raisa Pezderic/Photo Editor
Heat, added a game-high 26 more against TRU. “He was knocking down shots from everywhere,” said Huskies head coach Barry Rawlyk. “He carries himself with a great deal of confidence and when he gets in a bit of a groove he can really go.” “I just put them up like I do in practice,” added Lomuro. Lomuro, a fifth-year transfer who formerly played for the University of Winnipeg Wesmen, said the scoring came easy because of the Dogs’ strong defence and his ability to find open spaces on the court. Barrett, of course, greatly assisted Lomuro’s efforts by dropping 10 dimes, recording three steals and adding 14 points in the game. He put up a game-high 25 points against UBC Okanagan. Saskatchewan forward Michael Lieffers’ performance over the weekend should also be noted. Against the Heat, his eight points pushed him past 1,000 career points as a Huskie. He added 14 points and 13 rebounds against the Wolf Pack the following night and now sits only 14 rebounds away from breaking the 1,000-rebounds mark.
January 26, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/sports
Rempel’s path to the red and white
Seeing father crumble, sledge hockey player vows not to do the same FRASER CALDWELL The Silhouette (McMaster University) HAMILTON (CUP) — These days, Kevin Rempel is best known for his exploits on a sled. But in 2006, it was another vehicle that changed his life unalterably. The Dundas, Ont. native lived to ride his dirt bike. What he wanted most was to bask in the pure, adrenaline-fuelled freedom of the motocross jump. Four and a half years ago, Rempel realized this dream, only to see it quite literally crash down around him. Losing control of his bike in the midst of a jump, he found himself plunging to the ground. Lying in the dirt, Rempel knew that his life would never be the same. “I remember staring up at the sky and thinking, ‘Oh crap, I’m paralyzed,’ ” the 29-year-old said of his fateful crash. “In that moment, everything just froze.” Rempel had dealt with paralysis since 2002, when his father Gerald suffered an accident while hunting and became a paraplegic. Four years later, it was the younger Rempel’s turn to experience a lifechanging injury. “I recall that when I saw my dad fall out of the tree, my life was going to be little bit different forever in dealing with his injury,” said Rempel. “When I crashed, I knew once again that my life was again going to change.” Rempel’s previous experience with the harsh reality of paralysis prepared him for the aftermath of his own injury. That’s because in the wake of his 2002 accident, Gerald Rempel had struggled and ultimately failed to cope with his disability. He spiralled into depression, developed a gambling addiction and ended his own life. When it came time for the younger Rempel to cope with his disability, he chose to pursue a different path. “My dad was a great person, and I have nothing negative to say about him as a father,” said Rempel. “But unfortunately, he let his accident defeat him and he became a victim of his disability rather than seeing the bright side in that he still had a lot to live for.
“I took that experience and decided that I didn’t want to live like that. In my recovery, I wanted to do the opposite and live a prosperous life, regardless of what the outcome was going to be from my injuries.” Two years after his accident, Rempel discovered the sport that would come to dominate and redefine his new life. He had played hockey as an able-bodied individual before the crash, but had never experienced the sled variety. When a friend introduced him to the sport, it took only moments before he was hooked. “As soon as someone told me about it I wanted to try it, and as soon as I got on the ice, I knew that this was something I wanted to do for a long time.” Rempel began to play with the Niagara Thunderblades team out of St. Catherines in 2008, and very quickly took to the game, ordering his own custom sled and gaining the attention of coaches at Sledge Ontario, the organizing body for sledge hockey in Ontario. Battling through a prescription medication addiction to make the provincial squad, the Dundas native continued his climb to the very top of the national sledge hockey ranks. Within two years, a man who had known nothing of the sport saw his name on the roster of Team Canada. Not only is Rempel donning the red and white these days, he’s thriving as part of the successful team. Most recently, the Canadians won the World Sledge Hockey Challenge in December, and look poised to be at the top of the heap when the World Championships roll around this year. Despite the fact that the majority of his teammates are similarly paralyzed, Rempel says the atmosphere in the locker room is never one of commiseration. Rather, the athletes enjoy making light of their shared situation. “We’re all troopers,” said Rempel of his teammates. “We’re all so strong in getting to this point. To be on Team Canada and to reach this level with a disability means that we’re pretty strong as it is. If anything, we poke fun at each other and joke about our disabilities. “You’ve got to have that attitude, not just
Canada West Standings Men’s basketball Standings
1. Alberta 2. Saskatchewan 3. Manitoba 4. Lethbridge 5. Brandon 6. Winnipeg 7. Calgary 8. Regina
10-4 9-4 8-6 7-7 5-9 4-10 4-10 3-10
13-0 11-3 9-4 9-5 8-6 3-11 2-12 0-14
10-2 11-3 9-5 8-6 5-9 2-10
10-2 10-4 7-7 6-8 5-9 2-10
1. UBC 2. UFV 3. TWU 4. Victoria 5. TRU 6. UBC Okanagan
League Leaders GP 12 11 14
Rebounds 1. Kamar Burke - UBC 2. Justin King - TRU 3. Jordan Baker - AB
GP 12 12 12
Assists 1. Jamelle Barrett - SASK 2. I. Bonhomme - BRAN 3. Tristan Smith - TWU
GP 11 14 14
Steals 1. Jamelle Barrett - SASK 2. Tristan Smith - TWU 3. Michael Lieffers - SASK
GP 11 14 13
Blocked Shots 1. Balraj Bains - UBC 2. D. Coward - LETH 3. Tyler Fidler - CGY
GP 12 14 14
FG 106 85 91
3FG 8 19 43
FT 67 38 57
Points 287 227 282
Scoring 1. Diane Schuetze - TRU 2. Nicole Clarke - AB 3. Kristjana Young - UBC
GP 14 14 12
FG 87 84 82
Rebounds 1. Sarah Wierks - UFV 2. D. Emmerson - SASK 3. Diane Schuetze - TRU
GP 14 13 14
Assists 1. Jorri Duxbury - TRU 2. Joanna Zalesiak - REG T3. C. Goodis - UVIC
GP 14 13 14
No. 29 36 31
Steals 1. Jenna Kaye - CGY S. Carkner - TWU 3. Joanna Zalesiak - REG
GP 14 14 13
No. 46 46 40
No. 24 21 19
Blocked Shots 1. Zara Huntley - UBC 2. L. Stansfield - UBC 3. Amy Ogidan - WPG
GP 12 12 14
No. 15 14 15
Off. 35 21 40 No. 67 85 81
Def. 101 109 108
Total 136 130 148
in the locker room but in life as well. You can’t take these things too seriously.” In his continued search for improvement, Rempel works with the training staff at McMaster University’s Pulse Fitness Centre, being led in his routines by experienced trainer Jeremy Steinbach. Steinbach indicates that the sledge standout’s success derives from his competitive attitude, a determination that sees him persevere despite his physical challenges. “He is motivated to get better, that’s the main thing,” said the trainer of his charge’s mentality. “He works his tail off and comes in here with a good attitude, and is never afraid to try new things. We’ve tried things before and they haven’t worked because of his disability, but we troubleshoot things as we go.” New things have come in droves for Rempel since his accident, and he has discovered a talent outside of sport that he never knew he possessed. Since the crash, the Dundas native has begun motivational speaking, through no design of his own. “It was a total fluke that I got into it,” said Rempel of his public speaking engagements.
Standings 1. UBC x 2. Winnipeg x 3. TWU x 4. Manitoba 5. Alberta 6. Calgary 7. Brandon 8. TRU 9. UBC Okanagan 10. Regina 11. Saskatchewan
13-1 12-4 10-4 9-5 9-5 8-6 8-8 6-10 3-11 2-12 0-14 x - clinched playoff spot
1. UBC 2. Victoria 3. UFV 4. TWU 5. TRU 6. UBC Okanagan
Scoring 1. Justin King - TRU 2. Jamelle Barrett - SASK 3. Ryan Mackinnon - UVIC
1. Regina 2. Alberta 3. Saskatchewan 4. Calgary 5. Winnipeg 6. Manitoba 7. Lethbridge 8. Brandon
Kevin Rempel has become a dominant member of Team Canada.
woMen’s basketball Standings
Hockey Hall of Fame and Hockey Canada
Off. 54 42 46 No. 79 70 74
3FG 5 18 4 Def. 91 88 85
FT 96 53 33
Points 275 239 201 Total 145 130 131
Blocks 1. Jordana Milne - MAN 2. A. Keeping - UBC 3. Alicia Perrin - TWU
GP 51 32 51
Solo 8 2 9
Kills 1. Kyla Richey - UBC 2. Kristi Hunter - MAN 3. Ozana Nikolic - WPG
GP 41 54 58
No. Avg. 148 3.61 183 3.39 189 3.26
GP 50 60 53
No. Avg. 233 4.66 240 4.00 210 3.96
1. Erin Walsh - AB 2. Sara Petterson - TRU 3. Nicole Hall - MAN
Ast. 62 37 53
Total 70.0 39.0 62.0
Men’s volleyball Standings 1. TWU x 2. Manitoba x 3. Alberta 4. Calgary 5. UBC 6. Brandon 7. Winnipeg 8. Regina 9. UBC Okanagan 10. TRU 11. Saskatchewan
14-0 13-1 10-4 9-5 8-6 9-7 6-10 4-10 3-11 3-13 1-13 x - clinched playoff spot
“Just by talking to people, they told me that I had a powerful story and that I should be a public speaker. It was through my college co-op program — where someone knew me and my story — that I was asked to do my first event. “I did my five-minute speech and suddenly I was getting a standing ovation. Someone noticed me, got me my next gig, and I thought, ‘Wow, I guess I’ve got something here and people like hearing it.’”
Editor’s Note: On Jan. 22, Kevin Rempel and the Canadian men’s sledge hockey team won gold at the Four Nations tournament in Nagano, Japan. They defeated Norway 5-1 in the final. Their next action is a three-game series against the United States from Feb. 24 to 26 in Buffalo, N.Y. They will travel to Hamar, Norway in April for the 2012 International Paralympic Committee’s Sledge Hockey World Championship.
Men’s hockey Plus/Minus
T3. Kyle Bortis - SASK
GP 21 22 20
Total +19 +19 +16
Penalty Minutes 1. Brett Leffler - REG 2. Chad Erb - MAN 3. Dane Crowley - MAN
GP 14 16 20
Total 73 73 60
1. Sean Ringrose - AB
Blocks 1. Joseph Brooks - MAN 2. C. Kauenhowen - MAN 3. D. J. Van Doorn - TWU
GP 54 50 35
Kills 1. Nate Speijer - UBCO 2. Mitch Irvine - AB 3. Dane Pischke - MAN
GP 41 54 54
No. 172 226 216
Avg. 4.20 4.19 4.00
Digs 1. Ian Perry - UBC 2. J. Offereins - TWU 3. Derek Nieroda - MAN
GP 50 39 54
No. 180 138 170
Avg. 3.60 3.54 3.15
Solo 11 8 11
Ast. 66 61 37
Total 77.0 69.0 48.0
Men’s hockey Standings
x - clinched playoff spot
League Leaders Points 1. Derek Hulak - SASK 2. Kyle Bortis - SASK 3. Kyle Ross - SASK
GP 22 22 22
Goals 8 14 14
Goals 1. Blair Macaulay - MAN 2. Kyle Bortis - SASK 3. Dustin Moore - LETH
GP 20 22 22
No. 16 14 14
Assists 1. Derek Hulak - SASK 2. Kyle Bortis - SASK 3. Max Grassi - UBC
GP 22 22 19
No. 29 20 16
Ast. 29 20 13
WoMen’s Hockey Standings 1. Saskatchewan 2. Calgary 3. Alberta 4. Lethbridge 5. Manitoba 6. Regina 7. UBC
14-4-2 14-4-0 10-3-7 11-7-2 10-5-3 6-11-1 1-15-2
15-5-2 15-5-2 14-4-2 11-7-2 10-11-1 5-14-3 4-14-2
1. Saskatchewan x 2. Alberta x 3. Manitoba x 4. UBC 5. Calgary 6. Lethbridge 7. Regina
Derek Hulak - SASK
Totals 37 34 27
Points 1. Julie Paetsch - SASK 2. H. Wickenheiser - CGY 3. Iya Gavrilova - CGY
GP 20 11 16
Goals 12 12 14
Goals 1. Iya Gavrilova - CGY 2. H. Wickenheiser - CGY T3. Elana Lovell - CGY
GP 16 11 16
No. 14 12 12
GP 16 2. Julie Paetsch - SASK 20 3. Cara Wooster - SASK 19
No. 16 14 13
Plus/Minus 1. Iya Gavrilova - CGY S. Ramsay - CGY 3. H. Wickenheiser - CGY
GP 16 16 11
Total +16 +16 +14
Penalty Minutes 1. N. Brown-John - UBC 2. H. Wickenheiser - CGY 3. Nicole Pratt - AB
GP 18 11 20
Total 54 50 46
1. S. Ramsay - CGY
Ast. 14 11 8
Totals 26 23 22
thesheaf.com/arts • the sheaf • January 26, 2012
Haywire is not what audiences expect Steven Soderbergh’s action movie is fun, inconsequential fare AREN BERGSTROM Arts Editor
There seem to be two different versions of director Steven Soderbergh. One version is the director of the Ocean’s movies, Out of Sight and Contagion who seems to be able to make standard Hollywood fare better than most other directors. The other is the indie wunderkind who broke onto the scene with Sex, Lies, and Videotape and has continued experimenting with the cinematic form through movies like The Limey, Full Frontal and The Girlfriend Experience. Surprisingly, Haywire, a female-centric action movie starring mixed-martial arts fighter Gina Carano as a double-crossed black ops freelancer, is a product of the experimental Soderbergh. Although an action film, Haywire is not going to please the typical action audience whose cinematic diet consists of the kind of mindnumbing, viscerally bombastic films by the Michael Bay generation. At a crisp 93 minutes long, Haywire takes its time and doesn’t jam every scene full of shootouts and foot races, although there are a few of those. The film revolves around Mallory Kane (Carano), a black ops freelancer with a knack for upsetting the expectations her attractive appearance projects. After a job in Barcelona and a double-cross in Dublin, she finds herself pitted against a series of ex-coworkers and bosses played by a veritable cast of Hollywood A-listers: Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas and Channing Tatum. Of course, you don’t really need to know or care about any of this plot. Haywire’s plot is
Mallory Kane (Gina Carano) unleashes lead in the streets of Barcelona. perfunctory, merely acting as a foundation upon which Soderbergh can play with genre tropes. The idea for the movie was apparently spawned after Soderbergh caught an MMA fight with Carano on television in a hotel room one night. He was taken with her athleticism and decided to fashion an entire action film around her. As a result, the action in Haywire is impressive, if unconventional. Soderbergh stages his action scenes from a distance, allowing the camera free movement and an unobstructed view to witness Carano’s bone-crunching fighting skills. He doesn’t manipulate the pacing or the editing to make the fights assault you on a visceral level. He lets the strength of the fight choreography and the unfettered skill of the fighters speak for themselves. The fight between Carano and
Fassbender, in particular, impresses. The fight’s brutality set in a ritzy hotel room really hits the audience in the gut. As well, the peculiarity of seeing a beautiful woman beat the snot out of the guy who plays Magneto is more than intriguing. Part of Haywire’s appeal is that it features a female protagonist who upsets typical action movie expectations. She is definitely no damsel in distress, and her strengths aren’t the typical movie character traits given to underwritten female characters in action movies. Most intriguingly, she physically dominates the men of the film. Thus, the novelty of the whole exercise makes it worth a look. When Angelina Jolie or Kate Beckinsale throw a punch in Tomb Raider or Underworld, you feel like they’d break a bone from the
impact due to their waif-like body-types. With Carano, on the other hand, it takes no imagination to believe the beatings she inflicts on the various men of the film. When she punches and kicks, you know it hurts. As for her acting ability, Carano is pretty good considering this is her first time taking a stab at the whole profession. She is cool and attractive and holds her own opposite some impressive actors. She is a more than adequate heroine for a film of this sort. Just like its strengths, most of Haywire’s problems come from its novelty. Soderbergh, being a natural experimenter, plays with pacing and narrative, and the result is occasionally a little tiring. The film bears more than a passing similarity to Soderbergh’s previous film The Limey, also written by Lem Dobbs, which isn’t a plus. As well, because the plot is so basic and only an excuse for Carano’s fight scenes, the film can seem inconsequential. This gives the film a fun feel, but also makes you ponder the results if Soderbergh had really thrown himself into the whole endeavour. Haywire is an intriguing, unconventional action film that will likely bore the occasional viewer. It’s the product of a technical genius who uses film as a means of experimentation. Steven Soderbergh is like a brilliant kid playing with Lego. With Haywire he introduces action figures into the mix.
Haywire is currently playing at Galaxy Cinemas.
Pink Ribbons, Inc. NFB documentary examines breast cancer business JENNA MANN
Pink Ribbons, Inc. emphasizes the realities behind corporate breast cancer awareness campaigns. Directed by Léa Pool and produced by the National Film Board of Canada, the documentary explores breast cancer culture and what happens to all the funds raised from pinkribbon products. It focuses specifically on the marketing schemes big corporations use on a public frightened by the realities of the disease and eager to be comforted and reassured that if victims fight hard enough they will beat the odds. At the same time, they irresponsibly imply that those who die of cancer do not try hard enough. What pink ribbon campaigns are doing, in essence, is airbrushing the pain and suffering of cancer victims and presenting the public with an alternative reality that acts to profit the companies rather than the victims. The film argues that pink ribbons soften and feminize cancer. The pink degrades the women suffering by refusing to acknowledge how ugly and painful cancer is. Like moustaches in November, the ribbons are a trend. Though participants may feel better about supporting the cause, ultimately Pink Ribbons, Inc. argues that these methods have been relatively ineffective. Breast cancer campaigns are often used as a modem to give companies a publicity face-lift. For example, the NFL received criticism for the high rate of criminal activity amongst its players. Realizing that a substantial percentage of their viewers are women, the professional
Comforting pink images don’t tell the whole truth about breast cancer. football league began supporting the cause in hopes that it would rehabilitate the sport’s image. Pink Ribbons, Inc. also shows us how the cosmetics company Revlon uses substances linked to causing cancer — such as formaldehyde and petroleum — in their products, and how milk products with growth hormones can be found in Yoplait’s yogurts, also linked to potentially causing cancer. With many people involved each year and billions of dollars being raised, Pink Ribbons, Inc. asks the viewer to consider why so little progress has been made in finding a cure. These campaigns show numbers in order to distract from lacklustre results. The audience is confronted with more questions than answers.
Why don’t we know the causes of breast cancer and environmental factors? Why do only five per cent of proceeds go towards funding research in prevention? Why are the most popular treatment methods of the “slash/burn/ poison” variety used when the condition is not yet understood? If the cancer reaches stage four, the reality is that there is no known cure. These are the stories of women who have been silenced because their voices are not attractive; they don’t fit within the comforting pink image. Corporations fear that the reality of how hopeless and angry cancer can be will alienate a prospective audience. They want cancer to seem attractive so that people will buy their products — products that sometimes only
donate a marginal amount of proceeds and that sometimes include ingredients that are known to be linked to cancer. In Pink Ribbons, Inc. the viewer is introduced to a support group of women suffering from stage-four breast cancer. It is a rare chance for their perspectives to be shown. These are woman who, after being surrounded by pink images of hope and comfort, are told that this is the end of the road for them. The women interviewed are smart, articulate, confused and angry because they feel the public is being misled and that breast cancer culture may be doing more harm than good. The problem with the alternative-reality created by breast cancer culture is that the individuals involved are putting money into the hands of corporations to decide how it is divided. These campaigns may motivate otherwise complacent people to become active for a cause, but they are unaware of exactly what their efforts are achieving. While people may believe they are taking measures into their own hands to reclaim bodies, find a cure and save lives by buying pink products, Pink Ribbons, Inc. argues that breast cancer awareness has become an industry fuelled by the fears of a public that feels powerless and frightened — and that the reassurance that pink ribbon campaigns give back is superficial at best.
Pink Ribbons, Inc plays at the Roxy Theatre starting Feb. 3.
January 26, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/arts
There’s a new party in town Chatting with Reform Party’s Enver Hampton RICQUELLE GERMAIN Although a new act in Saskatoon, Reform Party members certainly aren’t new to the music scene. Guitarist Levi Soloudre and bassist Enver Hampton played together for years in Volcanoless in Canada, and have now joined together with other Saskatoon musicians, drummer Tallus Scott, who has been a part of several different local bands, and frontman Kay the Aquanaut, a well known hip-hop artist, to form the new group Reform Party. Bassist Enver Hampton sat down with the Sheaf to talk about the birth of Reform Party, their new video release on Ominocity.com and future plans for the band. The Sheaf: You have all come from very different musical backgrounds. How did Reform Party end up coming together? Enver Hampton: Tallus has played in a bunch of different bands over the years, so I know him through the music scene, and Kay has a background playing hip hop in the city. We got together in March 2011 to play Kayʼs album release party to play as his backing band. In the rehearsal I donʼt think we realized how cool it was, but after the show Kay said to me, “Weʼd be stupid if we didnʼt keep doing this.” We started playing through some old riffs that Levi and I had, which were a lot heavier and
to head to Eastern Canada and the Eastern seaboard of the States. Iʼd really like to drive through and stop to play in the States if at all possible. Driving through Canada, itʼs eight hours from Saskatoon to Winnipeg, another nine hours from Winnipeg to Thunder Bay, another nine hours from Thunder Bay to Sault Ste. Marie. People from other countries think weʼre insane, touring this country.
a little more angular. Kay started rapping and singing over it, and it worked out nicely. It came together to be what Reform is right now. Sheaf: What aspects from previous projects have come to inﬂuence Reform Party? EH: When we initially got together we were going to be playing hiphop music. Levi and I brought in some heavier riffs that we had on the back burner, and it worked out that Tallus was already a drummer accustomed to playing a heavier style of music. Kay still raps over the music primarily, but heʼs trying all sorts of things. When the four of us get together we really encourage and challenge each other to do different things. Not even intentionally. Itʼs just the energy that is created when we play together. It starts in one place and ends up somewhere completely different when we start jamming. This is deﬁnitely the coolest project that Iʼve been a part of. Sheaf: What it was like recording your new video for “Matador” together? Who was the masked man reading in the corner? EH: Weʼd never made a video together before, and it ended up being really good. We got together with a friend of ours, Josh Palmer, who did all the live sound. There was a gentlemen who Kay had worked with on a music video who offered to work on something with
From left to right: Enver, Kay, Levi and Tallus of Reform Party. us and we ended up recording six songs. We really just wanted to capture the essence of what we do live, but not on a stage. Just us hanging out in the jam space. Thatʼs pretty much, aside from the dude in the corner, what we look like when we practice. The masked guy is an anomaly. He’s a friend of ours, but his identity is a secret. Sheaf: How has the local music scene changed since you started playing music? EH: The Bassment closed and I feel that it was so important to this cityʼs music scene. It was the licensed, all ages venue that anyone could rent out. There really isnʼt a place like that anymore. Thereʼs still an underground punk and
hardcore scene, but it doesnʼt really have a home. Levi and I grew up going to shows at the Bassment and checking out metal bands, punk bands, rock bands, anything that would roll through there. It had a cheap cover, teenagers could go there, and people who were of age could go there and hang out. Now the underage fan base canʼt make it out to most shows.
Sheaf: Does the name Reform Party have anything to do with Preston Manningʼs conservative party in the 1990s? EH: (Laughs) It doesnʼt, no. Sheaf: Am I correct in assuming itʼs more about growing and bringing about change? EH: Yeah, and having a good time doing it. It was either that or Brad Pittsburgh. Those were two of the best names that we had. Thank goodness it wasnʼt Brad Pittsburgh.
Sheaf: Do you have any plans for touring this summer? EH: Yes, absolutely. This summer is going to be a big one. Our tour dates are tentative, but we want
Reform Party plays Amigos Jan. 28.
Looking at DC’s new superhero The Ray beams light into a gritty comic world KATLYNN BALDERSTONE
Discover. Invent. Design. Build. Manage. Change. Learn. If you are looking for an advanced career in today’s knowledge economy, Canada’s largest engineering school provides a breadth and depth of graduate programs to help you succeed. Waterloo Engineering offers: » MASc, MArch, MBET, MEng, MMSc, and PhD degree programs » Research and coursework based programs » Degree programs tailored to upgrading professional skills » Full-time, part-time, online study » Inventor-owned intellectual property policy
The Ray is currently a third of the way through its storyline, and while the story isn’t terribly groundbreaking, it’s a fun and refreshing read most people would enjoy. If you liked Gray and Palmiotti’s other work like Jonah Hex and Power Girl, you’ll probably like this series. If you’re new to comics, but would be interested in a story where there are no big-name heroes and the main character turns into light and fights mutant flying stingrays, The Ray is a great place to start.
» Leading international experts in a wide range of disciplines » A broad range of specialized labs and equipment » Extensive collaboration and networking opportunities » Competitive funding and scholarships
FIND OUT MORE ABOUT GRADUATE STUDIES! engineering.uwaterloo.ca/graduate
Graduate programs in: Architecture | Business, Entrepreneurship and Technology | Chemical Engineering | Civil & Environmental Engineering | Electrical & Computer Engineering | Management Sciences | Mechanical & Mechatronics Engineering | Systems Design Engineering Specializations include: Green Energy | Infrastructure Systems | Electrical Power Engineering (online) | Management of Technology | Nanotechnology 5908
Along with the DC Comics “New 52” marketing relaunch, in the last few months there have also been miniseries that have introduced more faces to this new version of the universe of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. One such miniseries is The Ray, written by the team of Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, and with artwork by Jamal Igle (pencils), Rich Perrotta (inks) and Guy Major (colours). Currently on issue two out of six, the miniseries is worth a read. The Ray follows the origin and exploits of Lucien Gates, an everyday California teen with a lifeguard job and new-age parents who gets hit with a blast from an experimental particle cannon. Being a comic book, instead of such an accident killing him, Lucien instead gains superpowers and is able to move at light speed, fire energy rays and disguise himself by manipulating light waves. While Lucien deals with both his new abilities and the mutated sea life that is now attacking California, the reader is introduced to the villain of the story: Thaddeus Filmore. A sadistic documentary filmmaker who gained power from mystical forces, Thaddeus is determined to make the world into his latest snuff film, and
Lucien has been cast as the tragic hero. Art-wise, the comic is good but nothing special, and there are times when the artwork can feel stiff for a main character that travels at the speed of light, but the art team does a good job capturing the various expressions and ethnicities in the first two issues. This is helped by Guy Major on colours, who ties things together nicely with solid palettes and some clever use of a glow effect, reminding you that this is a character who fights with actual light as a weapon. Gray and Palmiotti, on the other hand, work on bringing the personalities of these characters through to the reader, and they pull it off well. In the few appearances Thaddeus has had so far he comes across as a dark, powerful man who you do not want to cross paths with, and Lucien is a good-hearted hero despite some flaws and insecurities. The relationship with his parents is enjoyable and refreshing, where they not only know about and accept his new superhero role, but also give him advice on how to control his powers. The plot can seem rushed for some readers, and that can be a turnoff, but when there are only six issues to introduce this character, give him conflict and (hopefully) ensure a happy ending, this fault can be forgiven.
thesheaf.com/arts• the Sheaf • January 26, 2012
We the Artists, hear us roar Large crowd turns out to support fine arts gala
Jordan Svenkeson (left), Whitney Mather (centre) and Charlie Peters (right) put on various shows for the crowd.
Brianna Whitmore/Graphics Editor
BLAIR WOYNARSKI When I walked into the upper gallery of TCU Place on Jan. 21, I was struck by something unusual. It was classy — a little too classy. But that is the life of the fine arts student: spend your daylight hours shuffling through the hallway in black sweatpants or paint-covered jeans, but be prepared at any moment to clean up and dazzle your audience with elegance and charisma. We the Artists was one such occasion. The event had been in the making for several months, as a collaboration between the departments of drama, music and visual art. Traction had been building this semester, with feverish word-of-mouth and mass Facebook invites abounding, coaxing people into answering that age-old question: what are the fine arts good for? In a perfect world this is not a question that would be asked, but in the wake of last year’s town hall meetings, which seemed to many a death knell for the university’s art departments (not to mention the elusive and mostly forgotten Clarion Project), the question was out there. Once again, the students rose up to meet the challenge. Walking into the gala, I was greeted by a sprawling assortment of visual arts pieces, twisting around the floor and spanning the walls. Some were traditional oil paintings and charcoal drawings, but there were also many unique three-dimensional sculptures, including a partially caved-in mirrored cube and a cow barn made of old Starbucks wrappers. The drama department also had set and costume design projects on display that did not grab attention quite as much, but demonstrated remarkable creativity within their minimalistic form. There was no theme to follow in the gallery; it was a stunning mosaic of wildly different artistic voices that somehow cohered, presumably because they were united in a single purpose. The evening started with a brief dramatic performance, invoking the Muse that inhabits the artists of the world. From there, the program flowed organically, alternating between dramatic and musical performances, visual arts film displays, and addresses to the audience. Toryn Adams emceed the event. She was accompanied by speeches from the event’s organisers, the Drama Students Association’s president Adam Naismith, the Visual Art Students’ Union president Emma Anderson and
A large crowd turned out to support the various fine arts students of the U of S. the Association of Student Musicians’ president Mitchell Bonokoski, who gave a touching invocation to the teachers who have inspired so many students. One of the main attractions was a “live action painting” by visual arts students Shaun DeRooy and Tyson Atkings. Following a drumroll, they attacked a large black canvas with paint and continued working throughout the evening, collaborating with little spoken discussion between them. Appropriately, it ended up as a rendering of artists. The painting was sold by silent auction. The gallery was quiet at first, but soon swarmed with people. Over 240 attendees passed through the doors, whether students, professors, family or enthusiastic patrons looking to talk a starving student into selling. The atmosphere remained relaxed and fluid, which was sometimes unfortunate when a new performance would begin and two thirds of the room did not even realize it was happening. There was a stage on either side of the room, so the audience had to constantly be nudged one way or the other depending on the performance. From Shakespearean comedy to a monologue by Satan, Opera to Jazz, oil paintings to animation to abstract art films, there was a little bit of everything on display. All the elements pulled together to form a picture that was enthusiastic and hopeful. It showed that there is an answer to what the fine arts are good for, but it cannot be expressed in words.
Brianna Whitmore/Graphics Editor
Brianna Whitmore/Graphics Editor
Vanya Hanson’s barn is made out of old Starbucks wrappers and cups!
January 26, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/arts
Who in the world is Frank Welker? Meet the world’s highest grossing voice actor COLIN GIBBINGS Back in October 2011, Samuel L. Jackson was crowned the biggest movie star in the world due to his movies accumulating the highest overall box office total. While I find total movie grosses to be a poor indicator of who the biggest movie star in the world is — my gut tells me that Will Smith or Brad Pitt are more famous globally — I’ll play along. When I first heard this box office number, my reaction was to shout an emphatic “Wrong!” — after which I puffed my inhaler and went back to organizing my action figures. Why were my nerd alarms so dramatically sounded that day? Because I love the truth, and the truth of the matter is that there is one actor whose total career gross is larger than Samuel L. Jackson’s, and not by a small amount. While Jackson’s movies have accumulated a worldwide gross of $9.9 billion overall, according to the-numbers.com, this person’s total gross is a staggering $12.9 billion. Who is this mystery man who has taken our money so greedily for years? That man, believe it or not, is a humble and awkward looking voice actor by the name of Frank Welker. Sound familiar? It shouldn’t. Welker, although he has done several movies, television shows and video games, rarely receives or demands credit for any of them. And yet, it’s highly probable that everyone reading this article has
heard his voice at least once a day for almost every day of their lives the last 20 years. This is not at all shocking. Back in the ’60s and ’70s voice actor Mel Blanc (best known as the voice of every non-female Looney Toon) estimated that 20 million people heard his voice daily due to his talents being so sought after — and that was before most people had a television. You see, voice actors are cherished so much in the film industry that to find one that is not only reliable but so talented that they can get their work done in minimal time is a blessing from the heavens. Frank Welker is one of these actors, so whenever a voice talent is required, most movie and television executives immediately call him. Welker’s earliest big role was as Fred on Scooby Doo, Where Are You! and from there he worked his way up in the ’80s to become one of the most reliable voice artists in Hollywood. He has played roles such as Abu in Aladdin, Santa’s Little Helper on The Simpsons, Pegasus in Hercules, the anaconda in Anaconda, George in Curious George, the dragon in the Shrek movies, and — have you noticed the animal pattern yet? Yes, Welker is particularly well known for his animal voice talents, so much so that he is called up whenever an animal noise is required. In fact, one writer for The Simpsons once stated that Welker had the ability to do any animal
Frank Welker voiced Fred on Scooby Doo, Where Are You! voice on the planet. Even when asked if he could do a flock of geese and a flock of crows fighting each other he was somehow able to do it. But it’s not just in animation that you can hear Welker’s voice. His talent with animal voices is so desired that he has shown up in movies like Alice in Wonderland, Toy Story 3 and Transformers: Dark of the Moon, all films that grossed over $1 billion worldwide.
Add those grosses and the rest of his films together and it makes big money. He voices so many people that you’d be surprised by how versatile he is. Playing vastly different characters such as Nibbler from Futurama and Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget, Welker has a resume as big as Megatron (whom he voiced, by the way). Sadly, the man whose voice has entertained millions over the years
is starting to slow down as he enters his late 60s. That’s why I’m glad to be writing about such a talent. Google him, look up his IMDb page and smile at all the characters he so embodied that you never thought to yourself who the man behind them might be. It’s completely worth it.
Editor’s Pick of the Week Red Tails
Don’t believe the critics. Red Tails is tons of fun. Despite its negative reviews, this George Lucas-produced, long-in-themaking passion project about the African-American Tuskegee Airmen of the Second World War is a rousing throwback to classic war movies. With stellar aerial combat, the film’s action scenes are top of the line. Perhaps it’s not the complex dramatic take on the subject some highbrow viewers were hoping for, but Red Tails never intends to be anything more than a classical, albeit simplistic, war movie: a genre picture that will get the audience up and cheering. And cheer you will. Despite, or perhaps because of, the
BCIT engineers. Are you interested in sustainability and innovations in building science? The BCIT Building Science Graduate program offers a unique, interdisciplinary approach that teaches the theory and practical skills necessary to deliver durable, healthy and energy-efficient buildings. Learn more about these degrees: > Master of Engineering (MEng) > Master of Applied Science (MASc) supplied
film’s occasional corniness, you will feel thrilled by the dogfights, charmed by the likable characters, caught up in the fight against racism and thoroughly root for these scrappy African-American fighter pilots who fight against the hardships of racial injustice and still manage to severely kick Nazi ass.
Apply now for September.
It’s your career. Get it right.
thesheaf.com• the Sheaf • January 26, 2012
1- Averages 6- Barbershop request 10- Thick slice 14- Good point 15- _ extra cost 16- Hawaiian city 17- Blank look 18- Cancun coin 19- Drum sound 20- Chat 22- Guard 24- Periodical, briefly 26- Tiny 27- Bribe 31- Jabber 32- Earlier 33- Alternate 36- RR stop 39- Ethereal: Prefix 40- Syrian leader 41- Drop 42- After taxes 43- Ascended
44- Pueblo Indian village 45- Belonging to us 46- Wounded 48- To bargain 51- _ Paulo 52- Chief Indian officer 54- Underground electric railroad 59- Bunches 60- Yours, in Tours 62- Metal spikes 63- Adhesive 64- Make-up artist? 65- Pang 66- Chow 67- Ages and ages 68- Guide
1- Not fem. 2- This, in Tijuana 3- Slippery _ eel 4- Soft ball brand 5- Vegetable
appliance 6- Faucet 7- Numbered rds. 8- Atlas feature 9- Wide-eyed 10- Contract 11- Big cats 12- Kind of cat 13- Cotton seed pod 21- Bleat of a sheep 23- Drop of water expelled by the eye 25- Vulgar 27- Bridge 28- Algonquian language 29- “Java” trumpeter 30- Miss Piggy’s query 34- Half a fly 35- Clock pointers 36- Problem with L.A. 37- Duration 38- Not much 40- Large terrier
41- South American tuber 43- Batting Babe 44- Quantities 45- Speaks publicly 47- Small batteries 48- Papal seal 49- Circa 50- Rate 52- Wise 53- Horse color 55- Monetary unit of Thailand 56- Metal filament 57- Burn balm 58- Belgian river 61- Apr. addressee
Puzzle provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission. For a daily electronic crossword, go to thesheaf.com/crossword.
Thinking of Teaching? Applications open for the Bachelor of Education Secondary12-Month Option
French, Sciences, Business Ed., TESL, Home Economics, Theatre, Music, P.E., English, History, Geography, Modern Languages, Math, Applied Tech
Middle Years 12-Month Option English, Social Studies, PE, Sciences
Elementary 12-Month Option
Study in Vancouver!
January 26, 2012 • the sheaf • thesheaf.com/advertise
Other than the cucumber, what is the sexiest vegetable?
“Eggplants, because they’re shiny and purple.”
“Pickles... but they are warty.”
“Eggplant.” Danika Knibbs
Jeanine Thrasher & Katia Huel
Fake news of the Week Local reporter wins Pulitzer for journalism in report on winter
Global Saskatoon weatherman Warren Dean was recently distinguished with a Pulitzer Prize nomination for his biting report on Saskatoon’s recent cold snap. Dean says the report began with humble intentions. “It was cold. I didn’t feel like finding some big revolutionary story. So I did what any world-class journalist would do: I parked my ass and camera downtown to query random strangers on their thoughts about the weather,” explained Dean in his acceptance speech. “What I caught them saying was nothing short of lightning in a bottle.” The report has become famous for its statements of jaw-dropping profundity, like when one old man jabs, “It’s cold, but that’s Saskatchewan for you, eh?” Or
“The first thing that comes to mind is eggplant.”
the unforgettable words of an adorable, squeaky-voiced boy shouting, “I don’t like the cold!” Renowned journalist Bob Woodward, who helped uncover the Watergate scandal, says Dean’s report exemplifies virtues that have all but vanished from the world of journalism. “Asking hard questions, stepping on people’s toes, taking a position bound to rattle the public’s perception of reality — all these qualities were followed with uncompromising devotion in Dean’s report.” Dean says that although the nomination is an honour, he already has several other hard-hitting reports planned. “For one big story, I’m thinking of going to a retirement home and asking folks about how things used to be better in the old days,” explained Dean. “I met an old-timer the other day who says at
one time he could go to the movies for a dime, get a big bag of popcorn and still have enough money for a pony ride home. What a scoop!”
Authorities discover schoolboys looking up dirty words
Last Thursday, reading time at Cardinal Leger Elementary began like it normally would, but quickly turned perverse. “I knew those boys were up to no good when they checked out the dictionary,” said crotchety librarian Mrs. Bittersmith. “Ten-year-old boys are interested in dragons, not linguistics!” Bittersmith’s suspicions proved true when she walked over and saw thirdgrader Danny Frank’s finger hovering over the word vulva. “I panicked,” Frank later told the Sheaf. “I tried telling her I was looking
at the word vulture, but she knew I was lying.” According to Sheryl Peters, a secondgrader who was present at the scene, and presumed to be in love with Danny, “The librarian asked if he was looking at the word vulva. Danny and his friends started giggling, you know, because she said vulva. At that point everyone knew what they were up to.” The boys were immediately sent to the principal’s office where they received their punishment: writing the word vulva on a chalkboard 500 times. But according to Kyle Roberts, one of the convicted schoolboys, this wasn’t the most dire consequence of the event. “When our buddy Paul picked up the dictionary, the first word he looked at was scrotum, so we all knew he was gay.”
Join us on November 2nd and 3rd, 2012 to celebrate a century of student journalism at the University of Saskatchewan To volunteer, RSVP, or get more information visit sheaf100.com
KARAOKE CONTEST Sunday to Thursday
SUNDAYS + WEDNESDAYS: GAMES DAY WITH PRIZES! HAPPY HOUR DOUBLE HAPPY TIMES 11:30am-9pm, 7 days a week
Single Hi-balls $4.25 Domestic Pints $4.75
gift certificates give by midnight
Sunday to Thursday after 9pm
THE BEST DRINK SPECIALS NIGHTLY!
Join the official Colonial Facebook Page and win prizes!
Come And Join The Fun!
1301 8th Street East
thesheaf.com/advertise • the Sheaf • January 26, 2012
Published on Jan 25, 2012