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t he scribe

A Look Inside the ISSUE


The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. October 22 to October 28, 2009 [Volume 34; Issue 9]

SSDP stages protest against HCF

Visiting professor gives Student club protests Healthy Choices Fair’s lack of marijuana information lecture on pornography Catherine Jensen

choice facing students, information concerning the effects of both alternatives should be available. Junior Scott Bingham, who participated in the protest, agreed that information concerning the advantages and disadvantages of both substances should have been distributed at the fair. “I think we should have been allowed to give the students our side of the story,” he added. “I understand why the university wouldn’t want to associate with marijuana, but I feel like they could have given us some representation.” Bingham, though, who lived in the campus dorms as a freshman, said he did not remember any explicit promotion of alcohol use on the university’s part. “I don’t think the school condoned usage of any substances at all,” said Bingham. “They didn’t think that was okay to do.”

Last Friday, University of Texas philosophy professor Robert Jensen gave a lecture on campus concerning the roles of race and gender in pornography. Women of Color, a course offered through Women’s and Ethnic studies and taught by Dr. Andrea Herrera, hosted the lecture, which was the latest in a string of speeches the class has heard on subjects ranging from jazz history to Native American perspectives and, most recently, to race and gender in pornography. Jensen has been teaching in the School of Journalism at the University of Texas at Austin since 1992. He teaches courses in media law, ethics and politics. Jensen has been doing formal and informal research and speeches about pornography for the past twenty years. His research draws on a variety of critical approaches to media and power. Much of Jensen’s work has focused on pornography and the radical feminist critique of sexuality and men’s violence, and he also has addressed questions of race through a critique of white privilege and institutionalized racism. Jensen’s interest in feminism and its relation to pornography was realized when he returned to graduate school and developed an interest in 1st amendment law, he told The Scribe.

Continued on page 4

Continued on page 4

Columbine Hall improved to meet ADA standards

page 4

SPORTS RMAC honors three athletes

page 5

CULTURE SSDP in front of the mountain lion statue, just under the Upper Plaza, where the HCF was.

Tim Canon

Movie Review: “Where the Wild Things Are”

page 8

Halloween costumes on the cheap

page 9

OPINION | Truth Bombs | Rush Limbaugh’s ‘N.F.ail’

page 10 PARADOX

IT sticks it to social networking sites

page 11

In the Middle the FEATURE

UCCS’ Athletic History pages 6 and 7

Students for Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP) drew local media attention Oct. 20 as the campus club protested the Healthy Choices Fair’s alleged unfair refusal to incorporate information about the relative harms of marijuana in comparison to alcohol. According to a press release sent out by Safer Alternative for Enjoyable Recreation (SAFER), the campus chapter of SSDP contacted the Student Health Center, which organized the fair, and asked if the club could provide information concerning the relative health risks of alcohol and marijuana. The Student Health Center refused because they have never had any student clubs participate, according to Director of the Student Health Center Stephanie Hanenberg. In response,

SSDP organized a protest to take place in the lower plaza’s free speech zone concurrently with the Healthy Choices Fair. Executive Director of SAFER Mason Tvert, said that the goal of the protest was to highlight the fact that the university held a “socalled ‘healthy choices fair,’” but refused to include information on marijuana, which he claimed was a healthier alternative to alcohol. Hanenberg said the purpose of the fair was “to educate students about not using harmful substances,” and that information promoting any type of illegal substance would be contrary to the fair’s message. ‘Marijuana is not a healthy choice,” she said. “As the Director of the Health Center, I don’t want to be responsible for promoting illegal substance use at an event that’s meant to educate students about not using harmful substances.” Hanenberg also emphasized in an email that “the

vendors at these fairs are departments on campus that offer health services and education, as well as community agencies that provide the same resources.” “I respect the opinions of SSDP members, but those opinions don’t alter my responsibility as Student Health Director,” which, Hanenberg said, does not include the promotion of marijuana use over alcohol. SSDP and Tvert, who at the event handed out informational fliers concerning alcohol and marijuana use, believe that information concerning alcohol versus marijuana use is important for students to know and that by not including such information in its health fair, the University is implicitly promoting the use of alcohol over marijuana. Stephanie Morphet, president of SSDP at UCCS, said that college students like to have fun, and that marijuana is better and safer than alcohol for doing so. Morphet feels that given this realistic

Jackie Parkinson

The UCCS Chess Club practices chess to prepare for the upcoming tournament at the end of October. Kevin Kassem CONTACT | phone: (719) 255 - 3658 | fax: (719) 255 - 3600 | email: | website:



October 8 to October 14, 2009

scribe staff

Love it or leave it: Informal communication is here to stay

Jackie Parkinson Executive Editor One day I was checking my Facebook and randomly an “instant message” popped up from a friend saying hello. My world has never been the same. It was not so much the message conveyed, but that yet another form of communication had been introduced into my life, and an informal one at that. When this new Facebook chat feature was first introduced, many people were amazed and in wonder that now they could sit on Facebook doing absolutely nothing but stalking others for hours on end while talking to other people sitting on Facebook doing exactly the same thing. The past two years, Facebook chat has grown in popularity, and the formality of communication has decreased with it. Personally, I’ve tried avoiding this peril of communication, but it seems to come to haunt me as I am automatically signed in every time I log in. On top of that, a very close friend of mine is currently completing a study abroad program in the Netherlands so the easiest way to keep in touch is through Facebook chat. Therefore, I am subject

to Facebook chats more often than I would like to be. While there are positive effects of informal communication, there enlists the problem that we use an informal communication method for formal affairs. Then, when the formal affairs become a habit in your Facebook chatting, they impede on catching up with friends on the other side of the world. When I get on chat to speak to my friend, I am constantly bombarded by others asking me random questions about rather formal affairs that could best be by other forms of communication. Finally, it comes to the point where I “accidentally” sign off. While this form of communication is sometimes simplest, and I understand that it is somewhat easier to handle things via Facebook, it is not my favored mode for all types of conversation. Lately, I have been instant messaged, or whatever you want to call it, because of complicated situations. If you wish to profess your dying love to me, take your anger out on me or tell me your lifelong story via Facebook chat, I guarantee you I will “accidentally” sign off. There is a time and a place for conversations like these, and Facebook chat is not that place. What is it about hiding behind a computer screen or a phone that allows people the comfort to profess their innermost thinking? Perhaps it is the anonymity, the reaching out of a lonely soul, the drama-lover, or even the shy finally unearthing the

gumption they possessed deep inside all along. These, my friends, are no excuses to find fallacy in face-to-face conversation or even a phone call. At least with a phone call, you will not be wondering if they ever received my message and chose to ignore it or are just busy with something else, but know that they are the living, breathing person on the other end with the initial reaction to your lowcontext expression. Informal forms of communication plague our lives, and as technology begins to expand, we only weaken proper communication. Instead of saying “By the way, want to go out later?” we say, “btw chill l8r?” In the olden days of T9 text messaging, or for those unfortunate souls who still put up with it, I sympathize with your situation. For those with full keyboards, it is called a word and it’s spelled y-o-u, not u. For text messaging, the above rules for Facebook chat should also be exercised, if it is not too complex a task. At the same time, as technology is increasing at such an impressive rate, my generation needs to recognize that these are severe failures of our age group. Or perhaps it is because even my parents have begun texting, my aunt Facebook chats me and my uncle told me “Happy Birthday” on my wall. Love it or hate it, the technology is here to stay, and as much as I like to express my love-hate relationship with it, it is influencing our ways of communication more than ever. ◆

striving to present the truth to the students by creating an open forum for opinions and ideas

Executive Editor Jackie Parkinson

Managing Editor Tim Canon

Copy Editor Randy Robinson

Culture Editor Avalon Manly

Opinion Editor Byron Graham

Campus News Editor Catherine Jensen

Sports Editor Matthew Crandall

Layout Editor Rosa Byun

Advertising Manager Sarah Tindell

Columnists Tim Canon, Erica Doudna, Byron Graham, Greg Reilly, Veronica Graves

Reporters Ricky Dalldorf, Carrie Horner, Brock Kilgore Lauren Mueller, David Owens

Photographers Kiley Card, Ariel Lattimore, Carrie Woodruff

Layout Designers Alec Bishop, Chris Sheppard

Illustrator Arno

Web Designer Dorian Rogers

Interning Reporters Patricia Cameron, Justin Case, Phillip Jones, Chris Sheppard, Jessica Vaughan

Interning Photographer Kevin Kassem

Distributor Donald Trujillo

Advisor Laura Eurich

Archives Additional copies of the current publication volume will be available in The Scribe office. The Scribe keeps issues from the past five volumes for internal use only. The Office of University Records will handle any request for additional issues from the past five years and beyond.

Letters to the Editor The Scribe strongly encourages Letters to the Editor. Letters intended for publication must not exceed 300 words, must be legible and must include the writer’s name and telephone number. Letters must be turned into The Scribe office, emailed or delivered to The Scribe mailbox in the ROAR office by 5 p.m. the Friday before publication. The Scribe reserves the right to reject Letters to the Editor that are libelous or obscene or anonymous, and has the right to edit as necessary due to space limitations, grammatical or spelling errors and AP style guideline errors.

student life

10/25/2009 - 10/31/2009

what’s going on today?


3v3 Intramural Starts @ Rec Center

mon. tues. 26

Investment Strategy Seminars @ UC Theater 302 9 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. Papa Roach @ Ogden Theatre, Denver, CO 8 p.m.



thurs. 29 28

Commuter Student Donuts @ Engineering Bldg 7 a.m.

Reading Better Workshop @ 9:30 a.m. UC 124

Avenue B @ UCCS Radio 4 p.m.

Get your Zzzz: Better Sleep for College Students @ UC 116a 4 p.m.

Blues Boulevard @ UCCS Radio 2:30 p.m.

Tech N9ne @ Aggie Theater, Fort Collins, CO 8 p.m.

fri. 30 Chess Club Tournament @ UC 3 p.m. – 4 p.m.



Devotchka @ Boulder Theater, Boulder, CO 8 p.m.

Women’s Soccer vs. Nebraska-Kearney @ Mountain Lion Stadium 5 p.m.

Volleyball vs. Colo. Christian @ Lion’s Den 7 p.m.

Volleyball vs. Nebraska-Kearney @ Lion’s Den 7 p.m.

Matisyahu @ Fillmore Auditorium, Denver, CO 8 p.m.

Men’s Soccer vs. Fort Lewis @ Mountain Lion Stadium 7:30 p.m.

want to see your picture? email your photo of the week to


double challenge sudoku! (hard/very hard)

the first person to bring these completed sudoku puzzles will receive 4 tickets to the Haunted Mines. bottom floor UCenter rm. 106

not so brief update One millionth shuttle bus passenger celebration The Department of Public Safety recognized its one millionth shuttle bus passenger, a student, on Oct. 13 in an almost regal celebration of UCCS’s sustainable efforts. The department went all out to celebrate this somewhat arbitrary but still entirely magical benchmark, as two head honchos from the department waited for their quarry on the shuttle bus, enthusiastically greeting the passenger’s arrival and immediately bestowing upon him a quality UCCS shoulder bag (as he was clearly a hipster desiring of such a bag), a UCCS bookstore gift card (enough to purchase an entire textbook page) and a VIP certificate (of unspecified meaning or significance). The honchos then escorted said student off the bus, and drove him to his vehicle in the majestic splendor of one of those super-manly Toyota Prius hybrids. Not wanting to allow the memory to fade into the obscurity of awkward moments better-left-forgotten, posters featuring the student will hang in all of the shuttles for all students, staff and faculty to see until approximately next Tuesday. The 999,999 prior shuttle passengers are still wondering what ever happened to their prizes.

quote of the week: “At college age, you can tell who is best at taking tests and going to school … but you can’t tell who the best people are. That worries the hell out of me.” - Barnaby C. Keeny

Brown University President (1955-1966)

email your quotes of the week to:


campus news

October 22 to October 28, 2009

Pornography lecture (cont.) Columbine Hall improved Continued from page 1

Professor Robert Jensen opens the lecture up for discussion.

Kevin Kassem

have gone through life without exposure,” he said. Pornography, Jensen asserted, does little for society. “Can you create a just world when the bodies of one are sold for the pleasure of another? I can’t imagine a world in which that would exist.” “It gave us a new way to look at pornography,” said Perri Rothweiler, a student in Herrera’s class. “It also helped me personally to explain why I disagree with the pornography industry,” Rothweiler added. “I feel like I have grounded arguments now to back my beliefs.” Herrera believes hosting guest speakers such as Jensen is beneficial to the

class. “It gives students the opportunity to engage in subjects we never talk about and express their feelings on them,” Herrera said. “If we never talk about them we will never solve our problems.” Jensen concluded his speech with a qualified assertion of the importance of the study of the aspects of pornography that his speech highlighted. “When I look at the world I don’t think pornography is the most pressing social issue,” he explained. “But there are realities here, female subordination and exploitation, for example, that we shouldn’t neglect. They are important for what they tell us about our culture.” ◆

From there he developed an interest in feminism, which he said is important in law and the study of pornography. “I came in with a pretty conventional background, I believed that feminists were men haters and had nothing to do with me … I discovered I was wrong.” Jensen spoke to his UCCS audience about the roles of race and gender, particularly the feminist critique of pornography and the way pornography, according to Jensen, is a reflection of our culture. “Porn tells us something disturbing about ourselves and is rooted very much in our culture, ideology and sexuality. Very few of us

SSDP protest (cont.) Continued from page 1 Tvert believes, however, that events like the Healthy Choices Fair contribute to the social norm of alcohol consumption by acknowledging the propensity of students to drink and, instead of providing information concerning alternatives to alcohol, informing students only about responsible drinking. SSDP Vice President and Student Body President Daniel Garcia agreed that

the school is capitulating to this paradigm. “I’m not saying the school should promote drug use, but they should acknowledge that there’s an alternative to alcohol for having fun and socializing with friends,” said Garcia. “The school should also emphasize there are legal ramifications of using drugs, and inform about the effects of drugs, without hyperbole,” noted Garcia.

Students interested in further information concerning the health fair should contact the Student Health Center, which will hold another fair in April. Morphet said that students seeking information on marijuana and alcohol use should visit, or contact Stephanie Morphet at about attending one of SSDP’s meetings. ◆

to meet ADA standards

A students walks down a hallway in Columbine.

Avalon Manly

Columbine Hall has undergone a number of improvements and renovations in the last year, and work continues to bring the building up to par complying with the Americans with Disabilities Act. Last year, due to severe budget cuts, Columbine Hall was inadequately staffed in terms of maintenance, said Carolyn Fox, UCCS architect. Currently each floor of the building is tended by a separate custodian, each of whom follows a specific schedule of operations, which dictates the frequency of his or her duties. During the 2008 to 2009 winter break the building was subjected to a number of renovations. Because five of the eight bathrooms violated ADA standards of accessibility, much of the work was sponsored by ADA funding. Both men’s and women’s restrooms on the third floor were altered,

along with the men’s on the first and fourth floors and the women’s on the second. The lavatories received new flooring tile in place of the pre-existing sheet vinyl, as well as having the corner guards, the protective plastic coverings on sharp corners, replaced. In order to adhere to ADA specifications, some parts of entryway walls were destroyed and reconstructed to allow for wider openings; paper towel holders were also relocated to a more convienient and accessible place, said Fox. During that time, the first and second floors of Columbine Hall were painted, refurbished and (room 128, in particular) deeply cleaned. The side corridors on those floors were painted maroon to match the colored tiles on the floor, and to provide students with colored landmarks as they navigate the building. The first and second floors are “the most heavily used,” said Fox, and received the most attention. “Funding drives everything,” she explained. “Money is very tight right now; we have a

Ariel Lattimore lot of needs. We try to focus our efforts on what’s most critical.” With the last of the ADA and additional UCCS funding, Fox notes that the aforementioned restrooms will experience lighting adjustments and new paint on the partitions. Fox hopes the new paint will cover the bathroom-stall graffiti by the time the holidays are past. “It’s an electrostatic painting process,” she said, explaining that the powdered paint adhering to an electrically charged surface is a more durable coating than liquid paint, but also results in more lingering vapors that require several days to dissipate. Federal stimulus money might allow for Fox to continue renovating the overcrowded Columbine Hall, perhaps ultimately to the point of a full reconstructive overhaul. In the short term, however, she looks to refurnish the building’s study areas and hopes “that students recognize the difference in Columbine from this year to last.” ◆


October 22 to October 28, 2009


RMAC honors three athletes Athlete News (just not about athletics): Get rid of Dick! David Owens Kayla Millar, Cindy Bathelt, Adam Liszewski.

Matt Crandall

Oct. 13 marked the first time in school history that three UCCS athletes were nominated as Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference players of the week. The three student athletes recognized were Freshmen Goalkeeper Kayla Millar of the women’s soccer team, Sophomore Setter Cindy Bathelt of the women’s volleyball team, and Junior Goalkeeper Adam Liszewski of the men’s soccer team.

Photos courtesy of Rick Gorham

Millar and Liszewski were named Defensive Players of the Week and Bathelt was named Setter of the Week by the RMAC. The surge of individual success came after the three Mountain Lion teams combined for a flawless 6-0 record over homecoming weekend, with women’s volleyball winning three times, men’s soccer winning twice and women’s soccer winning once. By earning six combined wins with no losses in a single week, the three UCCS teams achieved another milestone for Mountain Lion athletics as the only teams to ever

accomplish such a winning streak in a single week. All three athletes have shared great individual success this year. Surprisingly, Bathelt is the first UCCS volleyball player this year to receive the honor. Liszewski’s nomination breaks the three year drought since a Mountain Lion has won defensive player of the week for men’s soccer. Isaac Kostro was the last soccer player to earn the distinction on Oct. 3, 2006. Millar, who has been filling in for injured goalkeeper Ashley Armstrong, is the third goalkeeper to receive the award since the start of women’s soccer in 2008. ◆

Check out Sports Shorts on the back!

It’s hard being a Buffalo Bills fan. Allow me to elaborate, because in no way do those seven words adequately convey the trials and tribulations my fellow Bills fans have gone through in the past decade. For some who may not be familiar with the Bills organization (why would you be?), and are still curious as to what I’m talking about; I’ll explain. I am talking about an NFL team that has failed to make the playoffs since the turn of the century, and this year looks to be no exception. I’m also talking about a city that ranks right behind Detroit and Cleveland with a lower standard of living than most third world countries (see athletes, Oct. 8). Recently though, fans are taking action against the

organization’s abysmal performance. Sports Illustrated reported that after the Bills lost four of their first five games of the season, an unemployed 18-year-old, Ryan Abshagen of New Freedom, Pa., raised enough money through an Internet campaign to rent a billboard and advertise a message of discontent for everyone in Buffalo to see. It only took a little over a week for Abshagen to raise over $1,400. “I honestly never thought it would ever be this big,” Abshagen said in an interview with Sports Illustrated. “Fans are disgruntled. It’s out there. It’s big. People are going to hear about it.” The message is targeted at the owner of the Bills and communicates that their coach Dick Jauron needs to be fired, flashing, “It’s time to clean house RALPH!” The statement started appearing on Billboards this Monday and will be running until next Monday, Oct. 26.

It will be flashed up to 3,000 times per day. During their last home game, cameras focused on a group of fans wearing paper bags over their heads and wearing t-shirts that said: “Fire Dick now!” As a loyal Bills fan, I couldn’t agree more; get rid of Dick! In other news, Sports Illustrated is also reporting that Burger King and the Fox network have apologized for a cartoon skit that recently aired during Fox’s NFL Sunday. The cartoon focused on Jessica Simpson’s supposed weight gain and mocked Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo for dating her. Despite the cartoon failing to mention the millions of other people that have become obese while incorporating Burger King into their diet, I’m hoping Fox entertainer Glenn Beck will shed some on-air tears for Ms. Simpson. Of course, while eating a “Whopper.” ◆

a blast from the past

the history of sports at U




Women’s Volleyball inaugural season

Men’s Basketball inaugural season

Women’s Basketball inaugural season Men’s Soccer inaugural season




Women’s Softball inaugural season

Women’s Basketball posts first winning record – 18-9

Women’s Softball post first winning record – 23-19 Men’s Golf inaugural season

1996 Cross Country Inaugural Season

1999 Track and Field program inaugural season


Women’s C Country competes i NCAA II Champion







The athletics program at UCCS has dramatically changed over the years. From differentiating mascots to adding new teams such as women’s soccer, The Scribe presents photos from the past, a timeline of sports through the years and the history of our mascot. For in depth sports information, visit

From Stretch to Boomer: A history of our mascots Although the mountain lion has stood as our school’s symbol in recent memory, the fierce feline has not always acted as the face of UCCS. Just a little over two decades ago, when UCCS was only composed of three buildings, the university did not have a mascot. It did not even have an official sports program. It featured sports clubs, and those clubs, back in the mid to late’80s, called themselves The Hawks. Doug Fitzgerald, the UCCS Athletics Information Director, explained that the university struggled at first to establish an intercollegiate sports program, and at the time, UCCS Athletics was not taken seriously. “There was a bias towards Boulder at that time,” he explained, “and the regents did not like the name [of The Hawks].” Instead, the CU regents suggested names that were plays on CU Boulder’s Buffs, such as “The Baby Buffs” and “The Austin Buffs.” By the late ‘80s to early ‘90s, in response to the subordinate names suggested by the regents, UCCS chose to go with something completely different: The Gold.

Fitzgerald insisted that the choice of a mascot that was an abstraction is not new or unique. Stanford University’s mascot is The Cardinal – the color, not the bird – and the symbol for the mascot is a tree. Then, in the mid ‘90s, there was another change of mascot. This time, as the rumor goes, a student suggested a giraffe, because a giraffe suit was discovered in the student’s garage. This giraffe, Stretch the Longneck, became UCCS’s official sports mascot up until 1999, when SGA, at the behest of the student body, demanded a new, less-comical face for UCCS. Students voted for the new mascot, and they chose the mountain lion, later named Boomer, to represent the university. The mountain lion was embraced immediately. Today, Boomer is “incredibly popular,” as Fitzgerald noted. Boomer will not be going anywhere any time soon, except “to the play-offs.”

By Randy Robinson (

UCCS’ top scores through the years -

Women’s Basketball: 2,127 points, 31 games, 1993-1994 Women’s Cross Country: RMAC 3rd, NCAA II Regional 3rd, NCAA II Championships 3rd, 2006 Women’s Soccer: 58 points, 2008 Women’s Softball: 84 home runs, 56 games, 2007 Women’s Volleyball: 1816 points, 2001 Women’s Track and Field: RMAC, Tina Gray, 3000m steeplechase, 1st, 2003 RMAC, Shannon Payne, 5000m, 1st, 2007 RMAC, Shannon Payne, 3000m and 5000m, 1st, 2008


Men’s Basketball: 2,301 points, 27 games, 2006-2007 Men’s Soccer: 116 points, 1999 Men’s Cross Country: RMAC 3rd, NCAA II Regional 3rd, NCAA II Championships 11th, 2004 Men’s Track and Field: RMAC, Moses Tum, 1m, 1st, 2004 NCAA, Moses Tum, 1500m, 1st, 2005




Men’s Basketball posts first winning record – 15-10

Men’s Golf qualifies for national tournament for first time

Stephen Kirkham is named Athletic Director

2004 Men’s Cross Country competes in NCAA II Championships

2006 Women’s Cross Country finishes 7th at NCAA II Championships Women’s Basketball loses in first round of RMAC playoffs

2007 Men’s Basketball loses in first round of playoffs



Women’s Soccer inaugural season

Men’s Golf qualifies for national tournament

Men’s Golf qualifies for national tournament



October 22 to October 28, 2009

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Ok tob

009: tap 2 t s e f th r e

Byron Graham

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Brock Kilgore

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* For the college student.


31 Iowa Ave. Colo Spgs, CO 80909 (719) 475-1611 There is nothing like starving yourself all day in preparation for heavy doses of sausage, schnitzel and spaetzle. Most Americans associate Oktoberfest with beer, and it is true that copious amounts are usually consumed, but the famous festival also features food. Oktoberfest started in October 1810 at the wedding celebration of Prince Ludwig of Bavaria and his bride. A good horse race was a way of regal celebration at the time, so the central attraction of the first Oktoberfest was a horse race, not beer. The races were repeated the next year, and by 1818 a fullfledged autumn celebration (with beer) had emerged. Today the main Oktoberfest festival is held in Munich on the same field where the original horses ran. The locals call the festival simply the Wies’n, because the field is called Theresienwiese after the bride, Princess Therese. Most of Oktoberfest is actually in September. The official dates are the second to last Saturday in September to the first Sunday in October.


In Germany the food varies by region because of differences in native ingredients and local cultures. In American restaurants, though, German food tends to be hearty and include pork, potatoes and cabbage. This may seem like a limited list, but the Germans, being as industrious and creative as they are, make an almost laughably endless variety of dishes “from all parts of the pig.” In Colorado Springs we have a wide variety of German restaurants to choose from, ranging from the perennial award-winner Edelweiss to a number of Schnitzel King’s. My favorite has always been Uwe’s because it is a hole in the wall and it is always full of families of German descent. Their leather-bound menu has not changed much over the years, and neither has the consistent quality of the food. When I go to Uwe’s, I always get the Schlachplatte ($16.95), which includes samples of Jagerschnitzel, smoked pork chops and Weisswurst (white veal sausage).

Jagerschnitzel means “hunter’s schnitzel” because of the mushroom gravy that covers this fried pork tenderloin (in past times, hunters wandering through the woods would often gather mushrooms). The special of the day was Zuericher Geschnetzeltes ($16.95), which included sliced veal in a delightfully light mushroom cream sauce with spaetzle (potato noodles) and rotkraut (hot sweet and sour red cabbage). Both dishes proved to be excellent, more than filling and clearly made to order. Beer is important, though. There are many varieties of Oktoberfest-style brews available from domestic and German origin in the U.S. Traditionally, March beers are served at Oktoberfest, because in the days before refrigeration, they quit making beer during the summer and they would save the precious last brew for the fall festival. Celebrate Oktoberfest, but do it with food as well as beer, or risk becoming a bierleichen, or ”beer corpse.” ◆

This weekend, Warner Brothers released “Where the Wild Things Are,” the film adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s beloved 1963 children’s book, and collected $32.5 million in box office receipts, reigning in the weekend frame as the number one movie in the country. Prior to the movie’s release, the studio mounted a hipster-centric ad campaign for their coveted property, emphasizing the pedigree of cineaste-approved filmmaker Spike Jonze (of “Being John Malkovich” fame). In the trailers and in creating a cross-promotional “Wild Things” inspired fashion line at Urban Outfitters, Warner Brothers boosted a lucrative effort to cash in on that demographics’ nostalgic craze. The movie mirrors the structure of the short book, but expands on the ideas author Maurice Sendak (whose production credit suggests that he’s pleased with the outcome) only teases at in the brief, simple words of the source material. Jonze co-adapted the picture book with screenwriter/ novelist Dave Eggers, whose memoir “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” and recent film “Away We Go” challenge the sentimentalization of childhood. Very little about the résumés of these two artists indicates that their powers combined could generate box office revenue, and it’s unlikely that this film would have secured studio funding

at all without the formative skeleton of a highly profitable, Caldecott Award-winning children’s book to reassure studio executives that their investments would pay off. Perhaps not surprisingly, “Where the Wild Things Are” could be described as an art film disguised in the fuzzy puppet suit of a kid’s picture. The film begins, like the book, with a rambunctious boy named Max looking for a place to direct his reckless energy and hyperactive imagination. Incurring the wrath of both his sister and weary mother, played here by perennial Spike Jonze favorite Catherine Keener, Max sails away to a mysterious island populated by furry monsters, or wild things, though they’re never referred to as such during the course of the film. The creatures, voiced by James Gandolfini, Catherine O’Hara and Forest Whitaker, among others, crown Max as their king and immediately commence his royal orders to have wild rumpuses, build forts and pursue childlike glee with little regard to the considerable danger these antics entail. Unfortunately, the emotionally tempestuous wild things, not unlike a crowd of cranky children, cannot work out their interpersonal differences or overcome their respective hang-ups and Max’s kingdom begins to crumble. The creatures, crafted from the seamless alliance of CGI and puppetry, are the

most breathtaking triumph of Jonze’s most visually sumptuous film to date. The dialogue and performances of the live actors ground the fanciful film with authenticity, and the story is often emotionally moving. The heated argument scenes between wild things, however, tend to grow uncomfortable as the voice-over work of adult actors and some of the complicated relationship dynamics between the creatures seem out of synch with the parallels audiences are intended to draw from them. Admittedly, it’s also weird to have an adorable kid snuggling with Tony Soprano. I’m just saying. I liked a lot about this film and I admire the bold perspective of the talented filmmakers who brought it to life. I would, however, contend that the emotional tenor of the movie overall is thrown off key by the movie’s descent into an angsty relationship drama populated by furry beasts until it corrects its course by following Sendak’s original story arc. I’d recommend this movie to UCCS students eager to take a trip down memory lane, but I would be remiss if I didn’t warn parents that this film is not intended for very young children, or those kids who bore easily in theaters. I caught a matinee showing of “Where the Wild Things Are,” and many of the little ones in attendance seemed happier to tear through the aisles than sit and watch quietly. ◆


October 22 to October 28, 2009


The effectiveness of team projects Halloween costumes on the cheap Jessica Vaughan

The Business and Communication Departments at UCCS are very different, but one thing that ties them together is their affinity for team projects. The goal for team projects in these departments is to prepare students for the real world. “They need to get used to working with people and doing projects together so that they can apply it to their careers after they graduate” said Peggy Knock, professor of marketing and business. The students in these two areas of study often find team projects very effective. Roxanne Gonzalez, a business administration major, stated, “For the most part, I think they are good to help with general team and communication skills.” Jacob Smith, an applied communication major, said, “My major is all about talking. With that being said, I love team projects.” Smith

explained that he thinks team projects help students and that they are a good way to experience the real world, where collaboration is often necessary. There is typically a little freedom, depending on the professor, when choosing teams. Some professors allow students to pick their teams, and some assign team members. Knock has done it both ways. “I usually let students pick, but there was one time that I had a shy student ask if I could assign teams because no one picked her, but in both cases the teams have usually been effective.” Teams are sometimes hard to choose. “I personally don’t care, but if I had to choose, I would say let the teacher choose,” Smith said. “Takes the stress out of who you do and don’t want to invite into your group.” There are pros and cons both to team projects. One advantage is that the teams get a feel for what the real world is like and how to work in teams. Communication skills are developed,

and can become very useful in degree programs that employ group projects. One common complaint about the groups, though, is that if there is an invalid team member that does not contribute to the group, the whole group suffers. “I had a student show up on the day of a project who did not do any previous work,” said Knock. The assigning of group projects is not simply a way for the professor to skip making lesson plans, either. “During the time that passes between the assignment date and the due date, I have to deal with questions, bad team members, and helping to solve conflicts within the groups,” said Knock. Knock said her favorite thing about assigning team projects is “the students’ enthusiasm,” and in some cases the usefulness of the projects. In some of her classes, the proposals have been used by businesses in Colorado Springs. ◆

Rosa Byun

Halloween is a time for pumpkins, candy and, of course, the Halloween costume. Costumes can be relatively expensive for attire used just one day a year, so finding a good value is critical for the typically poor college student.

Jack Sparrow and a Trekkie courtesy of ZEEZOS INC.

Carrie Woodruff

Amazon sells a variety of costumes for decent prices. Sexy means low skirt, exposed boobage and overall skankiness. The top ten full costume sets at are, roughly with shipping (for both sexes):

1. The Curious George “Man in the Yellow Hat” $45. 2. Harry Potter Robe $30. 3. Banana Costume $40. 4. Sexy Adult Women’s Catwoman Outfit $80. 5. Star Trek Movie Shirt $30 – $45 (depending on color). 6. Twister Game Mat Adult Minidress with the spinner board as a hat $30. 7. Sexy Adult Batgirl costume $50. 8. The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington costume $60. Lilikoi Lilikoi, more commonly 9. Pirates of the Caribbean Basic Jack Sparrow costume $25. known as yellow passion 10. Sexy Vixen Pirate Wench costume $70 + $30 pirate hat.

Five fruits you’ve never heard of

Dragon fruit (left) and a pomelo (right).

Lauren Mueller When students attempt to get a full serving of fruits and vegetables they have lots of exotic options. Weird fruits may not always be available in the produce section of a grocery store, but new flavors are making their way into Vitamin Water, juices and liqueurs. Gooseberries A gooseberry is the size of a plum with little hairs sticking off the skin, and a cluster of seeds in the center. California Rare Fruit Growers (CRFG) said gooseberries come in white, pink and red, depending on the amount of sunlight they get. CRFG also said that gooseberries have a unique taste, mixing apple, grape and strawberry.

Pomelo A pomelo is a lot like a grapefruit and is the largest citrus fruit. It goes by many names, including Chinese grapefruit and shaddock. It has a pillow-like peel that acts as a cushion to the sweet meat inside. It tastes a lot like a grapefruit, only less bitter. Like other citrus fruits it contains vitamin C. Pomelo is becoming more and more common and you are now likely to find it on store shelves. Kiwano Kiwano looks like a spiny little melon. It is a hybrid of a cucumber and a melon whose insides are often used like a jelly. The taste is necessarily acquired, and these fruits are mostly used for decoration because of their unique spines.

fruit, comes “packaged” just like a pomegranate. It is larger and tarter than the purple passion fruit. The seeds are edible, but some people find them hard to eat fresh because they are so tart. Lilikoi can be scooped out to top ice cream, blended to make juice or used as a salad dressing. Lilikoi is typically found in Hawaii due to particular climate requirements, but may be working its way to stores on the west coast.

Dragon Fruit Dragon fruit, also known as pitaya, grows on a vine and is a cactus-like fruit. The most common variety is red dragon fruit. Dragon fruit tastes a little like a sour strawberry mixed with floral notes. It looks like a pink orb with green petals sticking off the sides. According to, dragon fruit contains a high amount of antioxidants and vitamin C. also says that dragon fruit lowers blood glucose levels in individuals with type 2 diabetes. Dragon fruit is now reaching a U.S. market through Bacardi and other like drinks.

Alternatively, these costumes can be purchased for lower prices at the following stores, or created for cheaper than the pre-made costume (in same numerical order).

1. wins out, with cheaper shipping than most other online retailers. 2. This one is tricky. The Harry Potter robe is basically a black robe (dress-like) over a

black vest, white collared shirt and striped tie. sells “Adult Nativity Black Robe and Hat,” as a set of two for $20, ditch the hat, cut the robe down the front and sew buttons near the collar on both sides, split the cost with a fellow Hogwarts enthusiast to cut the price down to $10. Many thrift stores carry vests and collared shirts. A Hufflepuff crest can be found at for a measly $0.99. Spray paint sells for about $3 a can, so $6 for both red and gold (or black and yellow for Hufflepuff ). In total, a frugal thrift store shopper can recreate the robes and underclothing for a reasonable $20. 3. The banana costume’s basic components are a lot of yellow some black material (for the ends of the banana). Amazon sells acrylic felt, a durable non-wool felt for $12 (72 inches wide and three yards long), and black felt sells for the same price. Total of $24. 4. For $45, Sears sells a skimpier Catwoman outfit. 5. Old Navy sells a cheap long sleeve V-neck shirt for $8, or $15 Online, with shipping. Buy white then dye it any crewmember’s color. eBay has sellers of Star Trek pins as cheap as $5. Total for everything but the dye $15 – 20. 6. Amazon sells the Twister Game set for $22. Sewing is free. 7. sells the Sexy Batgirl costume for $40, but it’s out of stock. Other stores retail the costume for the same price as Amazon. 8. sells the same costume for $50. Buying the costume and the Jack Skellington mask individually doesn’t save very much money, as the mask itself around $20. 9. wins out. 10. Amazon sells cheaper Pirate Wench costumes, just not the same style as the one in the top ten. Same goes for many of the other costume websites. Talented sewers and dedicated thrift store shoppers can save much more money than what is written here, but some costumes are just not cost effective to make. Zeezos on 104 N. Tejon St. is also a local option. And of course, the cheapest costume for Halloween is, simply, a starving college student. Put on a ratty college sweater, ripped jeans and carry a game controller or textbook around. Happy Halloween costuming! ◆



October 22 to October 28, 2009

| Take Down | Grayson to American freedom: Die quickly

Veronica Graves

Representative Alan Grayson announced in congress last week that, “The republican health care plan is for the sick to die quickly.” So what? Sure, Alan Grayson addressed Congress with inflammatory words, but this

is nothing new to the legislative body. Congressional members have been screaming at each other since the beginning. Instead, let’s ask ourselves the following questions. Is there any truth to Grayson’s words? And what is Grayson’s agenda? Grayson is clearly attempting to bolster Obama’s healthcare plan while tearing at the Republican’s views. Grayson attempts to present the “Republican heath care plan” by using the classic liberal game plan of no facts and plenty of emotion. He presents three points on a large sheet of paper. They are as follows: “The republican health care plan is 1) Don’t get sick 2) If you get

sick 3) Die quickly.” Grayson is extremely correct with his first point. Republicans would appreciate if American’s could just not get sick. That’s why these darn Republicans keep pushing free market capitalism, and an environment where whoever develops the best cures gets the most recognition. The people with the best technology and surgical equipment get paid the most and get to keep coming up with stuff that will accomplish not “getting sick.” (Does point one imply that the liberal party wants people to get sick?) Grayson is also correct in his second point. Yes, Republicans do realize that

people will get sick. (Although we wouldn’t mind if Grayson would give a demonstration... say permanent laryngitis?) Point three, however, is completely incorrect. (Though there may be a few potential exceptions) It can be safely assumed that Grayson is referring to the Republican’s no governmental aid stance for his bright conclusion of “republicans want sick people to die quickly.” In short, Grayson is implying that Republicans are Scrooges who sneer at the little boy on crutches. The leftist stance on the matter would be considered, “wanting the sick to throw down their crutches and

leap around in the field of daisies while What a Wonderful World plays in the back ground. Unfortunately, it’s not this simple. I don’t know who convinced the American people that government is this wonderful fairy godmother here to take care of our ills and woes. Whoever it was, he deserved treatment three. What makes us think that government health insurance will be any more “honest” than private health care insurance? Obama says that government insurance is going to keep the private health care insurance in check. Who is going to keep government in check? Oh, wait I forgot

| Truth Bombs | Rush Limbaugh’s ‘N.F.ail’

Byron Graham

Over the past few weeks, radio personality, oxycontin enthusiast and blowhard extraordinaire Rush Limbaugh has flirted with the idea of professional football team ownership. In a group investment bid led by St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts, Limbaugh’s name was included on a list of interested parties vying for the 929 million dollar franchise. Limbaugh’s involvement sparked an inferno of reactionary opining in seemingly every news publication, from ESPN to MSNBC to Vibe magazine, with critics citing some of Limbaugh’s racially inflammatory sound bytes of note, particularly those concerning the NFL, as evidence that he was far from an ideal candidate. For the record, Fox News, and Bill O’Reilly in particular, thinks Rush’s dismissal by his own business partners “... is real 1984 thought-police stuff.” One such Rush Limbaugh quote, the most demonstra-

tive of his real attitudes in my reckoning, is selected from a June 2007 episode of The Rush Limbaugh Show. He remarked, “The NFL looks all too often like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.” One of Limbaugh’s most favored counter arguments is that his critics take incendiary quotes from his broadcasts out of context, so I went to a conservative blog and read the transcript of the full episode with the quote in question, posted under the auspices of absolving the host by grounding his careless statement in the guttural bog of Limbaughian rhetoric. What I discovered is that Rush tagged that punchline onto the tail end of a meandering tirade about the rambunctious on-field behavior of today’s gridiron heroes. I was actually struck by how little Rush’s rant had to do with racial politics until those closing lines, but then the insidious intent behind the diatribe crystallized in my mind. Perhaps it’s incidental that Limbaugh laments the decline of good ol’ boy culture in American football as the sport grows increasingly dominated by African American athletes, but Limbaugh’s catalogue of racial controversy betrays his prejudices. As I don’t know Mr. Limbaugh personally, I cannot attest to whether or not he is a racist, but he

does indeed provide a radio airwave haven for angry racists: three hours a day, five days a week. Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb, whom, according to Limbaugh, owed his career success to affirmative action (statements that led to the termination of Limbaugh’s short stint as a sports analyst), was among the chorus of voices joining to protest Limbaugh’s further involvement in the NFL. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, as well as Colts owner Jim Irsay, also voiced their reluctance to approve Limbaugh’s bid. The Reverend Al Sharpton lended his oddly hypnotic speechifying and slick Gheri curl to the outcry. After days of heated speculation and cable news pontificating, Limbaugh was dropped by the Checketts group in an effort to secure their purchase. Consequently, Rush has taken to the airwaves, bloviating about his victimization by the media in “Obama’s America,” and how his free speech has been infringed. What Limbaugh and his supporters fail to understand, however, is that while Limbaugh is certainly free to promulgate race-baiting vitriol at will, so too are those offended by his statements allowed to air their grievances. So too are his investor friends allowed to remove him from their proposal. It sounds like the free market at work to me. ◆

it’s the health care of the people…never mind, we’re good. Government run health insurance is sure to have the compassion of the IRS, the efficiency of the post office, and the heavenly atmosphere of the DMV. As Ronald Regan stated, “Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem.” Government is not going to solve the heath care issues of the poor. The government is not even going to help. It is incapable. This is an inverse relationship: The more power we give the US government, the less power we have. The less power the American people have, the less free we are. ◆

paradox the

Philip Jones

Top Ten (Not so hot) Pick-up Lines

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

the news is full of contradictions

satire : irony : hilarity

“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.” - Student Press Law Center

UCCS Crud Team notches Homecoming victory By Cat Jensen []

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put your sister and I together. Is your father a thief? Because that’s totally my car you parked outside. You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all night … screaming. Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ... Wait, let me check again! Hey baby, you wanna come study anatomy? I’ll get the cadaver if you get the formaldehyde!

This year UCCS’ homecoming became home to the best match the university has seen since that mountain lion took down Boomer. UCCS’ Crud team has been rocking the pool tables in The Pub since 2007. Commonly referred to as “sophisticated beer pong,” the game was invented by the Royal Canadian Air Force. Crud is a competitive sport in which players run around a billiards or pool table wildly attempting to hit a striped ball with a cue ball into a pocket in order to win beer from the opposing team. Allan Swish, UCCS’ team shooter and the player responsible for trying to sink a striped ball into a pocket and cause a death for a member of the opposition, said this year’s game was worth more than just the win. “We played a team from Canada. I guess they heard how good we were and decided to come and play us and it’s cool cause, they came all the way from Canada and we beat them.” UCCS Crud Coach Christie McGrouchster stated that she invited the team to come play.after attending a tournament in Canada where she met the team coach. UCCS’ team has played teams from all sixty of

I lost my home number. But here’s my cell phone, my fax, my email, my secretary’s number, my work number, my facebook, my myspace, my twitter, etc. I know I’m not the best looking guy in the room, but let’s face it, you’re not a prize pig either. Hi. My name is (name). Remember that. You’ll be screaming it later. In court. There’s a ghost in my pants! Help me come exorcise it!

I have one asshole in my pants already — I don’t need another one.


And, the automatic female response to all of these should be…

IT sticks it to

IT Director Jerry Wilson has banned the use of social networking sites on campus with the aim of improving overall academic and social performance. “I was strolling through the library one afternoon with my weekly box of doughnuts for Public Safety – so they turn a blind eye to all the pirating, you see – when I saw that seven out of ten students there had their Facebook accounts open, instead of doing their schoolwork,” he said. “And one out of ten was watching porn! That means only two students for every ten are actually studying. That’s 20 percent,” he added. Using funds from the federal stimulus package, Wilson and his colleagues have hired a team of programming gurus to help create a network-wide block for Facebook and its compatriot sites.

networking sites “It’s invulnerable to proxies,” squealed one of the programmers present in IT’s inner office. “You’d need a natural 20 and a Glyph of Warding to get past it.” Wilson hopes that the new inaccessibility to networking sites will help students improve both academically and socially. “Now they’ll actually have to talk to one another,” he said. Unable to break through the programmed block, displeased students have been barred from statuses and stalking alike. Dorm denizens were the hardest hit. “If you live off campus, you only have to endure so many hours without it,” said a resident freshman. “If you live here, it’s like it’s just gone. Just gone.” She is one of many students suffering from what has been dubbed “Unlike post,” a type of withdrawal. Symptoms include onsets of delirium tremens (DTs), twitching, loss of appetite, relational paranoia and sensitivity to sunlight. iPhones and other portable media devices have become a haven for those in need of a quick fix. Students can be found between classes gathered north of campus, huddled over a 3G phone, eager for their turn to check

PPCC’s campuses, according to McGrouchster. Though the game is disapproved of in most establishments for the mess and raucous it creates, Pub Owner Roger Tough, told The Scribe he enjoys the action. “It’s no different than having a football team,” Tough said. “If we did they would be doing the same thing to our field..” Tough credits the teams victory to the work of blocker Rhonda Obstruct. As a blocker, Obstruct must do whatever possible to distract the other team’s shooter so that they miss the pocket or stripped ball they are aiming for and, as a result, die. Obstruct used tactics such as jumping up and down, stepping on the feet of the opposing team’s shooter and dancing provocatively. Though Obstruct had no comment regarding the win, the shooter of the opposition stated after the game, “It was unfair. They chose her because she was hot and it was easy for me to be distracted. I mean, you must’ve liked watching, eh?” The winners celebrated with beer on the house and a shiny new trophy that the team hopes to have placed on display in the bookstore along with team merchandise.

By Avalon Manly [] the activity on their account. Wilson has plans for a campus-wide block of 3G networks, too. He is optimistic that it will be in effect as soon as Thanksgiving, and will prevent any on-campus access to social networking accounts. He has also put together a prestigious think-tank whose goal is the elimination of texting at UCCS, though, he says, “There’s no way we can do anything with that until at least Christmas. Oops, I mean: ’til winter break.”

Sports Shorts

for more pictures, visit

Metro State Sports Information

Men’s Soccer

(6-8-1, 3-6-1 RMAC) Oct 18 at Auraria Field UCCS 1, Metro State 4 Rick Gorham

Women’s Volleyball (14-7, 9-4 RMAC)

Oct 17 at Drag’s Court UCCS 3, Western New Mexico 0 (25-15 25-14 25-19) Oct 16 at Wilson Complex UCCS 3, New Mexico Highlands 0 (25-13, 25-21, 25-19) The volleyball team won both their matches last week as they defeated Western New Mexico and New Mexico Highlands. In their win over Western New Mexico, RMAC player of the week Cindy Bathelt recorded an impressive 36 assists and kept the Mustangs off balance. Laura Brodie led the Mountain Lions with nine kills while Sonja Johnson and Jenica Shippy each had seven. The Mountain Lions have shut out four of their last five opponents.

Oct 16 at Regis Field UCCS 0, Regis 1

Women’s Soccer (6-6, 5-6 RMAC)

Oct 18 at Regis Field UCCS 1, Regis 3 Oct 16 at Mountain Lion Stadium UCCS 3,, New Mexico Highlands 0

Patricia Cameron

Oct 13 at Mountain Lion Stadium UCCS 1, Adams State 0 The men’s soccer team went 1-2 last week, falling to Regis and Metro State after defeating Adams State last Tuesday. Prior to their game with Metro State, the Mountain Lions were 9-1-1 over the last two seasons when scoring first. Despite Matt Friesen converting Eric Goldberg’s pass off a free kick in minute 31 to give UCCS the lead over Metro, one goal proved not to be enough. Goalkeeper Adam Liszewski, RMAC defensive player of the week last week, recorded nine saves against Metro.

Oct 14 at Mountain Lion Stadium UCCS 1,, CSU-Pueblo 0 The women’s soccer team finished 2-1 last week, defeating New Mexico Highlands and Colorado State-Pueblo before falling to Regis on Sunday. Ashley Collins, Krista Mirabelli and Josi Heer scored a team season high of three goals. Jessica Escobedo finished with two assists, while Julia Saenz and Meghan Royer each chipped in one apiece.

Oct. 22, 2009  

Volume 34; Issue 9

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