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Christmas in Manitou page 6


Monday, December 12, 2011 Vol. 36, Iss. 16



Your school. Your voice.

University of Colorado Colorado Springs Weekly Campus Newspaper

‘Shawn the Baptist’ called to preach on campuses nationwide Kaitlin Nelson

Shawn the Baptist shares his gospel message.

Photo by Robert Solis

Shawn Holes has had a long history of sharing his gospel message. A Christian from a young age, he ended up getting his seminary degree and preaching in jails, on the street and in various other venues. Then, “The Lord sent me to college campuses,” Holes said. His work eventually earned him his current nickname, “Shawn the Baptist,” in reference to the famous Biblical figure and preacher John the Baptist. On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, the calling he followed led him to UCCS. He spoke at the University Center lower plaza, next to the Mountain Lion statue. Preaching soon evolved into more individualized conversations between Holes and various students. Holes loves what he does, and encourages discussion with students who hold different world-

views. “People tend to listen. Sometimes they listen in terms of being excited, sometimes they get angry, sometimes they get convicted,” he said. “As a Christian, I love people in spite of who they are, in spite of their [views],” he added. “I just have to, that’s the call of a Christian.” Holes said it is not his intention to preach a message of condemnation. “As Christians, we can’t condemn anybody,” he said. “I didn’t mean to offend people.” He pulls his viewpoint from the Bible verse he referenced, John 3:17, which states, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” Holes tries to live up to this standard by sharing his beliefs in a respectful, considerate way. Did many students still feel judged by the nature of his message? “I hope not,” said Holes. Nonetheless, some stu-

dents said otherwise. One witness, biology sophomore Jon Witt, recounted a conversation between Holes and a student. “There was this one kid standing there, and he was like ‘You’re no better than the rest of us.’ And the preacher guy was all like ‘You’re right, I’m not.’ So [the student] was all like ‘Then get the [sic] out of here and stop preaching your [sic].” “And I was like, if you don’t want to listen,” said Witt, “just leave.” However, Witt did not believe it got out of hand. “If there’s somebody preaching out there, they’re just going to fight them,” he said. “[Holes] was pressing buttons. Religion always presses buttons.” How far does free speech go before it becomes harassment? Witt said, “As long as it doesn’t get violent, I say you’re alright.” Other students disagree, however, as evidenced by

on homework and exams. Robert Carlson, mathematics professor, said, “On homework ‘person b’ copies the work of ‘person a’ or copied big chunks of it because they don’t know what’s going on, or they make the same mistakes – a series of [identical] mistakes.” According to Jenna Vaughn, human biology major, she was falsely accused of plagiarism as a freshman when she allowed her lab partner to double-check answers from her homework, who then copied directly from the assignment. However, even after being cleared, Vaughn said that her teacher became “vindictive” and “she would give me extra assignments; she would have me stay after [class];

she would have me do procedures I’ve never heard of [and] wouldn’t properly explain how to properly do them.” Unfortunately, due to the lack of statistical data, the amount of students being accused versus found guilty of plagiarism on campus as a whole is relatively unknown. The Office of Academic Affairs does not keep official records of plagiarism statistics, which are left up to the discretion of individual college deans, according to Tina Collins, executive assistant to the vice chancellor for student success and enrollment management. According to the “Student Academic Ethics Code Policy,” students can

be turned in to their professor, another faculty member or the college dean by anyone who suspects them of misrepresenting their work. It states that the reporting process allows the professor to decide whether or not a student is guilty of committing plagiarism based on the evidence available and to decide on the punishment, such as a grade reduction or failing the assignment. The professor is then required to submit a report to the college dean detailing the offense and the punishment given. If the dean determines an offense is severe enough, the policy states that the student can be placed on “probation, suspension, expulsion, or [the] withholding or revoking [of] a degree.” S

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Plagiarism can be committed in more ways than one Rachel Bradford

Academic plagiarism is commonly defined as when a student falsely represents someone else’s work as their own. However, using information from a previous paper is also considered plagiarism and students need to properly cite such information, according to Lynda Dickson, professor of sociology. The “UCCS Bulletin,” released each semester, contains the University’s official definition of plagiarism, which includes circumstances, such as direct copying, stealing ideas and inadequate citations. Professors who hand out writing assignments

Inside this


often rely on computer programs to detect plagiarism, such as Safe Assign and TurnItIn. Dickson said that in the past couple years, she has known about “three big cases where there really was a debate about flunking [students accused of plagiarism] for the assignment or… the whole class.” According to Dickson, she has seen students turn in writing assignments where up to 30 percent of the material included came directly from another source. Students interviewed agreed that plagiarism is wrong; however, their experiences differ. Juanita Whitaker, sociology major, doesn’t believe plagiarism “is as widespread as some peo-

news Text book buyback page 2

ple would like us to think it is.” Whitaker also said that it “is a condition of not knowing what you have inside yourself and seeking it in others.” David Magoon, game design and development major, said, “In my class, apparently six people just turned in the same work; they all got F’s.” Magoon explained that plagiarism within game design is “stealing code, everyone working in a group and sharing code they’re not supposed to… go[ing] online and steal[ing] an entire game someone else has already built.” Subjects that do not require writing assignments, such as mathematics, still have to deal with students who plagiarize


Nickelback resentment club page 7

opinion Speech war page 12

sports Chess boxing page 15


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December 12, 2011

Shawn the Baptist Textbook buyback is a game of economics (continued from page 1) April Wefler The store will conversations such as the one Witt overheard. Jim Spice, director of the Public Safety Department, looked at the issue from more of a legal perspective. He said, “There’s certain crimes that could be committed by [Holes], but he never crossed the line.” In the Mountain Lion Statue area, the only “unscheduled” space on campus, anyone is allowed to speak freely within state law. According to Spice, people take advantage of this space very often. Normally, things stay calm.

In a situation where a speaker gathers, a large audience or yelling occurs; however, campus security keeps an eye out for common problems. “Some of the violations could be harassment, could be interference with student/staff/faculty, could be disorderly conduct,” Spice said. “Because we had officers present there, and monitoring it, I don’t think [Holes] violated any of those.” Holes was in Northern Colorado and Utah after visiting UCCS, but he hopes to come back sometime in the spring. S

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It’s the end of the semester, and while packing up to go home, you find yourself glaring at your mound of textbooks. You remember how much they cost and hope you’ll get your money back for them. But when you bring in that book that cost $120 to the bookstore’s textbook buyback, you are shocked and annoyed to only receive $10 in return. Why do you get $110 less for something that cost you a whole paycheck? Ultimately, the amount of money you receive for your textbooks depends on supply and demand. Companies are more likely to buy a textbook that they’ll need more. “It kind of works like clothing; I mean, you literally get pennies on the dollar, depending on supply and demand,” said Sharon Coddington, textbook manager at the UCCS Bookstore. She noted that the process for buying back textbooks is like if you go to a clothing store and try to sell back your clothes.


only take what it needs, leaving the rest for you to figure out what to do with. Coddington mentioned that the supply and demand factor is based off of general economics. If the textbook brought back in is in popular demand, then comPhoto by Tasha Romero panies will buy it Student Rachel Newton sells her books for some extra cash. and the student bring in profit for them. our students instead of gowill get a lot of The bookstore works with ing straight to wholesale money back. On the other hand, if the companies throughout the companies. They’re on the book is an old edition on nation, mostly MBS in shelves and ready to go,” its way out, or one that is Missouri and Follett in Il- said Coddington. Textbook buyback less demanded, the student linois. Since there are no com- happens in the store once will get little to no money back. Often, old editions panies in Colorado, Cod- every month and more of textbooks are worth dington said they have frequently toward the end nothing and the student is to travel all over to buy of a semester. This month, books back. textbook buyback was on stuck with it. Coddington noted that Dec. 8-10 and will happen If the bookstore is looking for that particular text- it’s easier for her to know again Dec. 19-21. If you are unable to book, the student will re- what to buy back if the ceive 50 percent back for faculty member for that bring your books into the new or used books. With course puts in their text- bookstore, there is also the wholesale companies, book order for the next an online option. On the the student can receive semester. If she doesn’t bookstore website (uccsanywhere between 10 per- have the orders, then she, you can doesn’t know what they put in the title of the book cent and 40 percent. and the companies will say The wholesale com- need. “It’s the best because I how much they’ll offer for panies need the textbooks that are more likely to can buy books back from the book. S


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December 12, 2011

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Patriot Act allows government to seize student records Rachel Bradford

UCCS attempts to protect student library records from the USA Patriot Act of 2001, which allows the Federal government to search and seize student information. Section 215 of the act states the Federal government can access “any tangible things (including books, records, papers, documents, and other items) for an investigation to protect against international terrorism or clandestine intelligence.” This includes student library records that, according to Kevin Jacobs, UCCS library circulation supervisor, are currently being managed by the remote database program, Millennium. One feature of this program is that it stores a small amount of student information in a long-

term library record on campus. This information is limited. “Once an item is checked in, it comes off the patron record so we can’t go back in and find out what somebody has checked out in the past,” said Liz Taylor, UCCS library circulation supervisor. However, Taylor also said that if an item has an associated late fee, this record becomes part of the student’s permanent library record. In comparison, the library at Pikes Peak Community College (PPCC) utilizes a similar database program, AG, in an effort to protect their students’ information as well, according to Susan Dodson, PPCC library tech. However, the Patriot Act also gives the Federal government power to seize information from an “electronic communication service or remote computing service.”

This means that the Federal government can go directly to the remote database operator of these programs and access their backups. Dodson said, “I can’t imagine they couldn’t tag a bar code number and find out who had [a specific book]. I don’t know what AG saves.” In addition, the Federal government does not have to notify students who are under surveillance prior to obtaining records. Section 213 states that the courts may delay notifying students that there is a search warrant against them as long as notice is given “within a reasonable time period of its execution, which period may thereafter be extended by the court.” Furthermore, section 215 states, “No person shall disclose to any other person…that the Federal Bureau of Investigation has sought or obtained tangible things

under this section.” In other words, no one at UCCS is allowed to inform a student under surveillance that their university records have been searched and/or seized by agents of the Federal government. However, UCCS does not automatically hand over a student’s library records to the Federal government either. Taylor said that if the Federal government were to ask for student records at UCCS, the library staff is “instructed to call our legal department and they will handle it; we don’t get involved.” Reactions vary from UCCS staff and students regarding the Patriot Act. “I feel

what somebody has checked out is their own business; librarians don’t like to censor materials,” said Taylor, “although… it all depends on what the activity is.” Jacobs said, “It makes me have questions.” Emily Hecker, biology major, said, “It is violating my personal information that they don’t need access to.” Rob Prose, global politics and geography

major, said, “Most of the Patriot Act is an infringement on the civil liberties of American citizens and I think it’s up to us being in a representative democracy to challenge our elected officials to reform [it].” While UCCS’ efforts may not allow the Federal government to immediately seize student records, it can’t permanently bar access, either. S

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December 12, 2011

CU a potential bidder for local Memorial Hospital April Wefler

Next spring, you will have the power to decide who will control Memorial Hospital. Brian Newsome, a spokesperson for Memorial, said that an issue of what to do with Memorial has been on and off for years, if not for decades. He noted that city ownership is a dying business model. “It’s pretty well-established that Memorial can’t stay the same even though we’ve had a good track record for a long time,” said Newsome. However, the plan is to preserve the things that people like about Memorial. Chancellor Pam Shockley-Zalabak and Beth-El College of Nursing both have been participating in this process and providing input. A citizens’ commission met to figure out what to do with Memorial. One year, multiple document analyses and 50 meetings later, it was decided that Memorial should become an independent, locallycontrolled non-profit. In August, the City Council threw the idea out to organizations. Five organizations responded with their own bids for the hospital: Centura, University of Colorado,

the current administration of Memorial Hospital, HealthONE and Sisters of Charity of Leavenworth. The five presented their proposals at a community meeting on Dec. 7. The first organization to share its proposal was Centura. Centura insisted that their proposal doesn’t call for a takeover of Memorial, rather, a community health collaborative to bring value to healthier interactions. “The beauty of it is we can make it whatever we want to make it. This is ours. This is Colorado Springs,” said Greg Campbell, CEO of Centura. The second proposal was University of Colorado. The University plans to use Memorial to expand Beth-El College throughout the region. Memorial will become part of a new, unique Colorado health care system. During this presentation, Chancellor Pam Shockley-Zalabak said that there will be an absolute, specified commitment. If University of Colorado Health acquires Memorial, they will also support quality patient care. Under this bid, Memorial would be used to hold clinical trials that will help bring better

CU would use Memorial Hospital to expand Beth-El College of Nursing. treatments more quickly to more patients. BethEl noted that the change will be transformational for the community. Memorial Hospital itself has also put in a bid. The organization noted that health care is the biggest industry in the country and is the industry with the second-highest job growth. Newsome commented that Memorial’s proposal is the only one that is truly local. “We think local control is key to ensure that the community’s needs

remain first and that they don’t come into conflict with corporative directive from another community,” said Newsome. He noted that any money that is made treating a patient gets reinvested into the community. HealthONE and Sisters of Charity of Leavenworth (SCLHS) were the final two presentations. HealthONE said that it has the strongest track record in improving quality patient care. They plan to partner with our university for a medical school branch

in Colorado Springs. HealthONE will also provide a residency program at Memorial and make it the top provider in the Pikes Peak region. HealthONE has created 1,000 jobs in Colorado in the last four years because of increased patient demand. SCLHS plan to form a board with local members that will hold full responsibility for quality, safety, and medical staff issues. SCLHS’ core mission is to deliver quality health care. They will have a pub-

Photo by Shandi Gross lic health commitment of $1 million upfront and then $500,000 yearly. Campbell pointed out that the decision of what to do with Memorial will be the biggest decision that the community has made in over a decade. A city hall task force will be selecting one of these potential bidders to place on the spring ballot for Colorado Springs voters. Public input on this decision is encouraged; questions may be submitted to or by calling 385-5961. S

Q&A With the UCCS Student Health Center with Jefferson Spicher; DNP, FNP-C Every other week, we ask questions on a healthrelated topic to a different provider at the Student Health Center here on campus. This week, we asked Jeff Spicher some questions about sleep and energy before finals. With finals coming up soon, I need more time

to study. Do I really need a full eight hours of sleep every night? This can be a bit tricky to answer. Research has shown that sleep needs vary from person to person and between age groups. Some adults do just fine on six or eight hours of sleep a night, while others need nine hours of sleep to function at their optimal level of performance. You should have a good sense of the number of hours that you need to be at your best. According to researchers at the National Sleep Foundation, there is good evidence to show that not getting enough sleep decreases your ability to remember and retain information and actually decreases your productivity. These research-

ers also note that lack of sleep also increases your risk for illness, motor vehicle accidents, obesity, diabetes, depression and remembering new information. The best thing to do during finals week is to not change your sleep schedule, maintain your usual number of hours of sleep and try to start studying for your exams as soon as possible. Your will do better on finals if you study over several days instead of pulling that all-nighter. A lot of energy drinks are packed with B vitamins. Can vitamin B supplements really help keep me more energetic and alert while I study? The answer to this question is no. B vitamins are essential to convert

food energy into energy that your cells can use and most of us are getting enough B vitamins to maintain this essential function in the foods that we eat. In fact, in an article written for the Los Angeles Times (July 14, 2008) by Chris Woolston, titled “B vitamins don’t boost energy drink’s power,” it is noted that mega doses of B vitamins do nothing to boost energy, it is the caffeine in these drinks that gives you a boost. In this same article, Victoria Drake, a researcher with the Linus Pauling Institute at Oregon State University in Corvallis stated that for usual users of energy drinks or vitamin B supplements, this is nothing more than a “gimmick.”

My secret to finals success is a ROCKSTAR energy drink five minutes before the exam starts. Am I onto something? Perhaps. In a study by Hunt, Momjian and Wong (2001) at the University of Pennsylvania, the researchers found that caffeine seems to improve test taking capabilities, in particular slightly faster response times, for students taking exams who regularly consume caffeine. In a study that used MRIs to look at brains on caffeine, Dr. Florian Koppelstatter, a radiology fellow at the Medical University of Innsbruck in Austria, found that there was an increase in the frontal portion of the brain that controls atten-

tion and concentration while the subject was using caffeine. So, it may seem that some caffeine before a test may be helpful, however there is a limit to the positive effects, and too much caffeine can make you jittery, sick to your stomach, unsteady on your feet, make your heart race and give you a dry mouth. These types of symptoms will not enhance your performance and make it hard to concentrate while taking a final. Do you have healthrelated questions for the Q&A with the Student Health Center? Email them to and we’ll publish them here. All questions will be posted anonymously. S

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Dickson shares her passion for the sociological perspective Matt Sidor

Lynda Dickson knew she wanted to be a sociologist since the start of her undergraduate career. “I have loved this discipline since my freshman year when I took my first introduction to sociology course,” she said. Dickson received her B.A. and M.A. at Western Kentucky University and received her Ph.D. at University of Colorado at Boulder. After a brief teaching job outof-state, she searched for a position in Colorado and was surprised to learn about the UCCS campus. “I was in Boulder for seven long years of my life and I never knew that the CU system had a Colorado Springs campus,” she elaborated. “I was so embarrassed when I did come for the interview and see how

this is right down the road [from Boulder].” She added, “A few months after I got here, I went to Boulder, and I was talking to people in the Sociology Department, and they’re saying, ‘Now where are you?’ And they didn’t know either!” Dickson’s studies focus on families...well, putting it simply, anyway. “My area of research and teaching is really shifting households and family arrangements,” she explained. “Instead of saying, ‘I study the family,’ it’s really much broader than that because it’s not just families that are changing, it’s the way we live our personal lives. Singles are changing – they’re cohabiting more, and that’s fascinating.” She added, “I’m very interested in especially African-American households, because they are probably at the forefront of the changes

that are happening with all other groups.” Dickson’s research has found that trends within African-American families in particular tend to be at the forefront of global changes to our culture. “Overall now, about 35 percent of all births are born to women who aren’t married,” she said. “That’s a relatively new trend for whites, but within African-Americans, about 70 percent of all black births are born to women who aren’t married.” She added, “These are things that are happening globally, it’s just that African-Americans are further along that path. So the same forces that are causing it to happen in any group have already been in existence for African-Americans for a much longer period of time.” She’s also been interested in changes to marriage patterns over the past several decades and

their effects on society. “Even as recently as 40 years ago, it didn’t matter what race you were, what income level you were, what educational level, what region of the country, it didn’t matter – the overwhelming majority of people got married at least once,” she explained. “Today, it is much more associated with educational level and income level – the higher the educational level, the higher the income level, the more likely are people to marry in the first place, and have a long, stable, happy marriage. So it’s really becoming very classspecific.” Dickson is a strong advocate for what she terms ‘the sociological perspective’ as a way of looking at the world, with applications in everything that we do.

“Often, because Intro to Sociology is a general ed. requirement, the vast majority of people aren’t in sociology, don’t plan to be in sociology, and they don’t like it,” she said. “And I have gotten just horrible things that people say on course evaluations – but you know what, I still love the idea of selling the importance of the sociological perspective.”

She added, “I’m hoping before I retire I will have found a strategy that works – not that I’m trying to get everybody to be sociology majors, but just that people who go into business and history and education and engineering will see the importance of using a sociological perspective. That’s why I love teaching sociology.” S

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Page 6

Colorado Springs’

Christmas in Manitou

Best Kept Secrets Rachel Bradford With themes that range from tourist souvenirs to Coca-Cola merchandise, a wide assortment of ornaments line the walls of the Christmas in Manitou gift shop. Even a few engraved jewelry boxes are kept on hand for those who celebrate Hanukkah, and many items can be personalized. Decorated Christmas trees of different colors, shapes and sizes also decorate the floor. Christmas in Manitou was originally one of the St. Nick’s gift shops that was purchased and renamed almost three years ago by owners Joe and Paula Pasteur, according to Tami Hernandez, store manager.

December 12, 2011

It is open all year long and Hernandez said, “A lot of people will go shopping for Christmas in the summer time because they’re on vacation.” According to Hernandez, business is slow from January to March, which is when she spends most of her time working on inventory because “by the end of May you have to get your orders in.” The most popular items are the personalized name ornaments, along with the Coloradothemed ornaments, according to Hernandez. Christmas in Manitou is visited by people from all over the world who come to see Pikes Peak and want “an ornament for their tree to show they’ve been here,” said Hernandez. Deals are offered

Photo by Alex Gradisher

Several Santa figurines dressed for all occasions decorate the shelves at Christmas in Manitou.

Photo by Alex Gradisher

Above the shelves are some old-fashioned toy decorations.

through grab-bags containing old and discontinued stock, which are located at the entrance of the gift shop. “It’s a blind sale. You buy whatever you get,” said Hernandez. The gift shop also carries ornaments from select local artists: Aspen Leaf Design, Whitney’s Designs, Jewelry by Marks and Country Christmas Eggs. Margarita Osterman, owner of Aspen Leaf Design, paints wood disks made from “real aspen” trees that “sell like crazy…she cuts all the wood herself,” said Hernandez.

Whitney’s Designs crafts metal ornaments that are also a big seller, according to Hernandez. According to product labels, Jewelry by Marks creates gilded aspen and maple leaf ornaments, and Dan Stevens, owner of Country Christmas Eggs, transfers his designs onto real eggs. The Christmas season holds a different meaning for everyone as they shop for presents and decorations. Colorado native, Jeremy Weeks, said, “I think it’s ironic to have a Christmas store in Manitou Springs, which is well known for its pa-

gan-themed stores. I also find it interesting that it sells products related to Christ-mass, which are based on historically pagan icons.” Hernandez said, “It’s the birth of Christ, so it should be a joyous time for everybody.” S

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December 12, 2011

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‘Masks We Wear’ emphasizes military, healing after combat Rachel Bradford

UCCS military students may identify with the struggles that local soldier and upcoming artist, Anthony Ngo, has experienced. Ngo is a local soldier that is participating in the Military Creative Expressions program sponsored by Aspen Pointe, which is a local non-profit company that focuses, in part, on mental and behavioral health issues. According to his biography, Ngo is regaining a passion for the arts after three combat tours between Iraq and Afghanistan. He was unavailable for comment and Kim Nguyen, manager of Military Creative Expressions said, “In the past he has refused to talk to a reporter; I don’t know if he’s ready yet.” However, Nguyen did outline the meaning of Ngo’s exhibit and this art therapy program. Ngo’s current exhibit is in the ARTSpace Gallery and is titled “Masks We Wear.”

The Lowdown What: Masks We Wear When: Dec. 6, 2011 - Jan. 6, 2012 Where: ARTSpace Gallery Hillside Community Center 925 S. Insitute How much: Free More Info: Kim Nguyen 492-2524 He chose this title because the experiences Ngo went through allowed him to “see how people put on and take off the mask every day from different cultures,” said Nguyen. Ngo’s work consists of several paintings and colorful mask sculptures of various designs. The mask sculptures on display were colorful, but also very simplistic, and the cultural influences weren’t entirely obvious. However, Ngo’s paintings demonstrated a high


Photo by Rachel Bradford level of skill, and Nguyen said, “He…is an amazing artist; to have the innate talent that we were able to draw out because it was the right time, right place.” The piece that best exhibits Ngo’s talent is the painting which shows a nude woman sitting in the fetal position, hugging herself and holding a mask depicting an anguished expression.

Her left hand reaches around grabbing the right side of her back, giving the appearance that she may be rocking her upper body back and forth in an effort to calm herself. This illustration demonstrates the unspeakable pain of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that wounded soldiers must cope with on a daily basis after returning from war.

This painting, like many of his other paintings and masks on display, did not appear to have a title. Perhaps these pieces go unnamed because it is too difficult to put words together that adequately express the pain felt by the artist. Ngo’s biography stated that he learned “creative techniques as [a] therapeutic means to heal and move beyond any physi-


cal and invisible wounds that occurred.” According to Nguyen, the overall purpose of this program is to help “soldiers, veterans and clients of mental and behavioral health learn coping skills so they can use their imagination and the creative expression as a tool for their whole life so they can release [that which] becomes toxic to their body.” S

Nickelback Resentment Association: promoting ‘better’ music Micki Cockrille

Some fans of music can agree that Nickelback does not fall under the category of music, rather the category of garbage. If you were offended by that gross assumption, then I must make a disclaimer that this article is not for a Nickelback fan. The Nickelback Resentment Association could probably think of a band better than Nickelback for every letter in the band’s name: Nine Inch Nails, Incubus, Cake (you get the point). The club, founded by President Megan Moyles, epitomizes the dislike of the band. Also founder of the Beard Enthusiast Club, Moyles is a junior majoring in communication. She is the senator of housing for the SGA, who loves to play the ukulele and has an affinity for cute

necklaces. You may think a club dedicated to the dislike of one musical artist would not have a direction. A mission, if you will. Wrong. The Nickelback Resentment Association mission states, “Our purpose is to promote the fundamental principle that is NOT okay for people to listen to terrible bands such as Nickelback. We offer solutions and other options for students to better their music taste and to expand their horizons about today’s music scene.” “Students may come together to agree that Nickelback sucks, to discuss their own music tastes, to share and discover new music, to plan going to and/or organizing live music events or to even challenge the club’s beliefs.” Students interested in the Nickelback Resentment Association can find the club on

uccshatesnickelback. So far, all activity has been over Facebook. “I’m going to kick off this club for real next semester,” said Moyles. “‘Like’ the page and stay tuned! I’m sure free pizza will be involved!” With a thriving online community, the club finds people from around the world. “People see it on their Facebook newsfeeds, and I assume they laugh, agree and join. I’m looking forward to actually meeting the members at UCCS once we have real meetings and get the ball rolling with this club on-campus instead of online,” said Moyles. As the next semester rolls around, club members can look forward to events. “I am planning a Chad Kroeger effigy for next semester, as well as a Nickelback CD burning night wherein we will literally set fire to Nickelback music.

Just kidding.” Despite the Nickelback Resentment Association’s feelings toward Nickelback, the idea of the club is to encourage great music with future events. “I’d like to have some local bands play, maybe, with the theme of Nickelback resentment or something. That was kind of the point of this club – to promote music that is actually good, and a lot of the time the stuff that’s not as well-known is the best stuff.” With all of this Nickelback resentment, is there any hope for the band? Does Moyles consider any of their songs “good?” “Ugh, they all suck,” Moyles said. “I was in Kohl’s the other day and I’m pretty sure a Nickelback Christmas song was playing. Tragic. One of their vices is that they all sound the same so to pick my ‘least favorite’ would be to pick all of them.” S


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December 12, 2011

Going green made easy with sustainable gift giving Sara Horton

This time of year can reduce any nature lover to tears. Pounds of non-recy-

clable wrapping paper are hauled off to rot in landfills every year, and the gifts that the paper once concealed tend to be just as harmful to the environment. Waste can seem inevi-

table, especially when you have a long list to shop for, but with plenty of sustainable gifts on the market, going green may be easier – and cheaper – than we think.

Water-powered alarm clock

For most of us, our day begins with that dreaded alarm clock. If you don’t already have a horror story about yours, then you probably have at least one friend who does. The Lowdown The Bedol water-powered alarm clock can be a more reliable eco-friendly alternative as long as you rememWhere: ber to refill it. Amazon/ The company’s stylish clocks keep time without batHow much: teries or electricity. All you have to do is fill the clock’s $10 and up canteen up with water – or beer, if you have enough to spare – and it produces its own energy for up to six months.

Reusable thermos and water bottle

While a vending machine can instantly quench thirst, its plastics clog landfills and can be expensive if you’re regularly searching for quarters or spare dollar bills. A reusable water bottle is not only more sustainable but a trifecta solution: convenient, cost-efficient and fashionable. The Lowdown Threadless sells a line of 24-oz. thermoses at Target that can also hold colder drinks. They feature over a dozen designs by artists who submit their work online for public vote. Where: You can also purchase a 20-oz., stainless steel water bottle from RiverTarget/ keeper, which has the motto, “I Bottle My Own. 100% Fresh NYC Tap WaHow much: ter.” $10-20 Although we’re not all New Yorkers and the price tag is a little steep, profits fund a green cause: the protection of the Hudson River.

Photo by Shandi Gross

Vaya Bags

As students, we know the value of a dependable bag. So does Vaya Bags, a company based out of Ridgewood, Queens, N.Y. Unsatisfied with the messenger bags on the market, Boston University environmental science student Tia Meillinger founded the company and made her own, aiming for them to be friendly to both cyclists and the environment. Meillinger’s first bag was made out of waterproof canvas, but according to a press release, her materials have since expanded to “scrap sailboat awnings, recycled The Lowdown bicycle tubes, old banners and any other recycled material that can be melded and warped into ‘fabric.’” Where: The bags are made of waterproof canvas and vinyl coated fabric. They include a padded strap with a release buckle, another strap that prevents swinging, reflective tape and front pockets. How much: If you don’t have a budget for a messenger bag, Vaya Bags also $10-90 makes items such as recycled bike tube laptop bags, handbags, wallets and waterproof canvas pouches.

Poo Poo Paper

Photo by Shandi Gross

Do it yourself: collage

Yes, you read that right. The Great Elephant Poo Poo Paper Company has jumpstarted a market for elephant, cow, horse, donkey, moose and panda poop. While the idea may be humorous, the craftsmanship is a serious endeavor. “We rinse and boil the poop to a pulp and bolster with about 15 percent other natural waste fibers that are seasonally available such as banana stock fiber, corn husk etc. and boil the pulp mixture,” stated the company on its website. The Lowdown “To color POOPOOPAPER™ we use natural and edible food coloring mixtures. We then make both raw sheets and rolls of paper from which we Where: craft hundreds of different POOPOOPAPER™ products.” UCCS Bookstore The products include colorful journals, stationary, picture frames and more. And don’t worry about the smell; everything for sale is odorless. Our bookstore stocks the products, but it carries fewer than the company How much: website. However, the bookstore does stock its Christmas tree-shaped orna$4 and up ments, which are begging to be amusing gifts for parents everywhere.

Stores aren’t always the answer for memorable gifts. Do-it-yourselfers with access to a pile of old magazines or a color printer, scissors, glue and some spare time can assemble a collage. Two or three years ago, a friend gave me a colorful collection of pictures that featured us and those of my favorite celebrities, musicians and movies. It’s now on display in my room, where I can see it every day and remember how thankful I am to have such a thoughtful, creative friend. We hear this saying all the time, but it would have died out if there were no truth behind it: Sometimes the best gift is that which costs nothing at all. S


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December 12, 2011

‘Hugo’ symbolizes a love letter to cinema-goers April Wefler Rating: Let me take you back to a simpler time: 1930s Paris. It’s a year after the Great Depression, and a little boy is staring into a train station from the inside of a clock. This is how “Hugo,” a film directed by Martin Scorsese, begins. “Hugo” wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be Victor Hugo’s journey through writing “A Hunchback of Notre Dame,” similar to that of Johnny Depp’s “Finding Neverland.” Instead, I learned that “Hugo” has nothing to do with Victor Hugo but enjoyed the movie regardless. “Hugo” tells of a young Parisian boy, Hugo Cabret (Asa Butterfield). Hugo lost his father in a

fire and was forced to live with his drunken uncle, rather than be put in an orphanage. He left his decent surroundings and moved into the train station where his uncle worked. He was taught how to fix the clocks in the train station and so when his uncle left, Hugo continued fixing clocks. The cinematography is beautiful. When the camera first pans through the train station and then zooms in on the boy watching from inside a clock, it almost appears as if the movie is animated. There was some slapstick humor that I felt wasn’t needed. The station inspector (Sacha Baron Cohen) makes it his mission in life to find thieving orphans and send them to the orphanage. When Hugo narrowly escapes the inspector, the inspector gets his leg caught on a train and is dragged through the

train station. I felt situations like this were only included because of Cohen’s notorious humor. But the slapstick scenes were completely unnecessary – “Hugo” isn’t about the inspector’s life. The story is primarily about Hugo’s desire to fix things. Before his father (Jude Law) died, the two were trying to fix an automaton, or robot, that a museum didn’t want. Hugo steals pieces from the train station toy booth to try to fix the machine, hoping it will have a message from his father. The old man who works at the toy booth, Georges Méliès (Ben Kingsley), catches him stealing. Méliès forces Hugo to work for what he stole and takes his notebook. If he wants his notebook back, he has to do whatever Méliès has him do in the toy booth. Méliès’ goddaughter, Isabelle (Chloë Grace Moretz), gets the note-

Photo courtesy of

Asa Butterfield (right) stars as Hugo and Chloë Grace Moretz (left) co-stars as Isabelle.

book back for Hugo and ends up helping Cabret fix the automaton. The automaton draws a picture which leads Hugo and Isabelle to learn that Méliès was a former important name in film history. “Hugo” then becomes a beautiful love letter to the history of the cinema.

For example, the first film in history is shown within “Hugo,” which depicts a train that the viewers believed was going to run them over. Both Kingsley and Butterfield do a good job in their roles, especially Butterfield. Moretz played the part of Isabelle well, but her performance

wasn’t stellar. I found the film history the most enjoyable part of “Hugo.” I also liked that Hugo’s desire to fix things and Méliès’ broken spirit intertwined, which later helped both characters. The ending is cheesy, but it’s the perfect movie to see with the family over the holidays. S

Syfy finally finds magic with ‘Neverland’ miniseries Sara Horton


daunting question: How do they get home? Tiger Lily (Q’orianka Kilcher), her Native Rating: American tribe, tree spirits and Tinkerbell (voiced by Keira Knightley) assist in the quest. The Syfy Channel, While Peter thinks that perhaps best known for he, Jimmy and his friends its D-list monster flicks, can make their own way, deserves rare praise for Jimmy has other ideas. its most recent endeavor. Watching Peter’s and Surprisingly, it has nothJimmy’s friendship dising to do with killer Anasolve into bitter indifference is difficult to watch but extraordinarily well-executed. The scenes between Rowe and Ifans, in which they struggle to find a solution where they can both be happy and keep their family together, pack power with their desperation. Jimmy steadily progresses into the power-hungry Captain Hook and the end rePhoto courtesy of sult is nothing short of chillRhys Ifans (left) and Charlie Rowe (right) star in the Syfy series“Neverland.” ing, signifying Following Theatreworks’ opening of “The Lost Boys,” the Syfy Channel debuted its two-part miniseries “Neverland,” yet another adaptation of J.M. Barrie’s beloved story of Peter Pan. Two orbs, which function as portals to Neverland, fall into the hands of two distinct groups of

people from similarly diverse eras. The first finds pirate queen Elizabeth Bonny (Anna Friel) and a crew that terrorizes the 18thcentury Spanish Main. James “Jimmy” Hook (Rhys Ifans), a 20th-century English fencing instructor who also serves as mentor to a ragtag bunch of pick-pocketing orphan boys, finds the

second. Among the orphans is Peter (Charlie Rowe). In hopes of becoming Jimmy’s business partner, he’ll do anything to please Hooks, but tests his relationships with the other boys because of that very determination. The two troupes clash upon their arrival in Neverland, and characters grope with a common,

that the humble fencing instructor that Peter once admired has been lost forever. “Neverland” exhibits an exceptionally strong cast and story, but you’re inevitably reminded of Syfy and its notoriously bad special effects when the mythological creatures are introduced. The crocodiles look especially out of place and stretch the suspension of disbelief to its limit. A crocodile the size of a house chases after a young Native American, yet he somehow manages to outrun the thing. Nevertheless, the visual effects are still superior to what one may expect and even the crumby ones are at least humorous. The Neverland wilderness is particularly striking and lends great backdrops to the clashes between the pirates and Native Americans. Provided that “Neverland” keeps its otherworldly creatures at a minimum, it may be the only Syfy production worthy of a sequel because the end of the miniseries only feels the beginning to a new adventure. S


December 12, 2011

Page 11

Editorial Proposed media fee to benefit student body, SGA and the media outlets

Along with tuition, every student is required to pay fees every semester to support certain campus services. While tuition covers things like staff and faculty salaries and grounds upkeep, fees are more for student services like clubs and the Health Center. You may feel the inclination to complain about the extra fees on top of the already expensive tuition, but just remember that without those fees, we wouldn’t have clubs. We wouldn’t have the Health Center, the Rec Center or the Family Development Center. We wouldn’t have a bus route to transport people from Four Diamonds all the way to University Hall. We wouldn’t have sports, and we wouldn’t have solar energy powering some of our facilities. In addition to the fees we already have in place, this year’s election ballot might include a few additions. The first is an increase to the existing Rec Center fee. The reason for the increase is that the current Rec Center is not even close to large enough to accommodate the steadily-increasing number of students we have on campus. The increased fee would fund an expan-

sion project to help fill the gap. The second proposed addition is a media fee, which would cover The Scribe, the radio and the TV station. As it stands now, those organizations are funded by a portion of the Student Activities Fee, which funds activities and events for student clubs and is managed by the Student Government Association (SGA). With the addition of the proposed media fee, that money normally allocated to media outlets would go back to the activities fund, giving clubs a chance to potentially increase their budgets for the things they have needed but haven’t been able to have, due to their limited budgets. As of this writing, SGA has allocated $61,404, or more than 62 percent of their yearly $98,010 budget, for clubs. If funding requests continue to be approved at this pace, clubs will run out of money before the end of the year. Having a larger budget for clubs might have prevented this from happening. It would also make room for more clubs on campus. The clubs list is constantly expanding, but the budget for

those clubs is not. Separating media from that pool would free up those funds for more clubs on campus. Another benefit of the proposed fee is that it would resolve a serious conflict of interest created by the media outlets being funded by the student government. Though both sides try to avoid it, there has been plenty of conflict between the two bodies in the past. Common sense dictates that you never antagonize the person who is in charge of signing your paycheck. That being said, the news outlets get pretty nervous about reporting on SGA scandals. If we make a mistake and they end up looking bad, they blame us. But even if the reporting is perfectly accurate on something they’ve truly done wrong, it is natural to blame the messenger. Although members of the SGA certainly wouldn’t withhold funds due to a personal vendetta, it is extremely difficult to put aside personal feelings when making big decisions. Sometimes personal feelings influence a decision without the decision-maker even being

aware of the intrusion. On the other hand, the SGA likely feels some fear about being painted in a bad light in the media if they don’t give us the answers we seem to want. Though we try our best not to let personal vendettas cloud our reporting (we wouldn’t assign someone with a personal vendetta to that story), that fear will always linger. The truth is, it is in nobody’s best interest for the government to control the media. Can you imagine if the New York Times were funded by the U.S. Government? It would certainly be a different publication than we’re used to. The bottom line is, separating the media outlets from the student fees fund would benefit the media, the SGA, the clubs on campus and the student body as a whole. As we close out the semester and enter into election season, it’s time to seriously start thinking about what we want for this campus, and how our money is spent is an important part of those decisions. -The Scribe Editorial Board

The end of an era, the beginning of the ‘insteads’

Molly Mrazek It’s your first day of kindergarten. Do you remember what you wore, who your teacher was, what you made for your first art project? Yeah, me neither, but I feel like I should, considering I’m about to graduate. I’m still having trouble believing that statement myself. After 16 years of schooling, I’m at the end point. After Dec. 16, I don’t necessarily have to do anymore schooling; that’s not to say I won’t go on to graduate school, but at this moment, I don’t know if I will. I’m about to enter the “real world” that all my instructors, family and friends have told me about. Soon, I’ll be a bitter worker bee, doing an 8-5 job, getting an hour for lunch and looking forward to the weekend.

I’ll wear nice pants and button-up shirts; I’ll take leave hours when I want a day off. Soon, I’ll wish for the freedom of sitting in a class in my holey jeans and doing nothing but listening and contemplating. My life will no longer be timed by Spring and Fall semester. Bring on the slow decay of my brain no longer being used academically. It’s a new stage in my life, and I’m happy to be moving on. But there will be many “insteads.” Instead of a fifth grade boyfriend who passes me notes and I never talk to face-to-face, there will eventually be a husband whom I come home to and tell about my day at work. Instead of senior prom, there will be work parties and potlucks where I have a glass of wine or champagne. Instead of a class where I learn about marketing, business writing and communication skills, I will practice them and have discussions around a water cooler. And instead of paying hundreds on books every semester, I’ll pay hundreds to pay back my student loans every month. I used to be excited about buying new school

supplies: new mechanical pencils, gel pens, Lisa Frank folders and spirals. As time went on, I grew lazy and poor, reused folders multiple times, tore out used pages of mostlyunused notebooks (from classes that I should’ve been taking notes in) and grabbed free pencils that my mom collected from expos. I was an expert in procrastination and would often finish papers and projects at the very last minute; I’ve always worked well under pressure. Well, now it’s all over: the studying (or lack thereof), the exams, the essays and all the syllabi. I have downloaded a countdown widget on my phone and have been taking note of every subtracted day that goes by. I will sit in an uncomfortable chair for two hours listening to names I’ve never heard before. Then I’ll walk (hopefully not trip) across the stage cloaked in a black Harry Potter-like gown wearing a cap that looks good on no one and flattens my hair. But I’ve been looking forward to that day for a very long time, and it will all be worth it. Now it’s time to get a big girl job. I probably won’t get one for a while

though, because if my professors, parents, family, friends and most of the media outlets I pay attention to are correct, the economy sucks and no-

body is hiring. But I’ve always wanted to have an exceptional life. I want to travel and see the world, I want to have a job that I love and

I want to say I’ve really accomplished something. I promise you I will. And at my high school reunion, I will have a life worth bragging about. S

Page 12

Opinion I challenge you... to a duel!

December 12, 2011

Should insults and offensive slogans be protected by freedom of speech, or should they be considered harassment? These Scribe columnists discuss the issue.

When did freedom of speech Free speech is required to be become freedom to hurt? a free nation On Nov. 22, when many of us were planning on spending time with our families and the inevitable overeating that comes with the Thanksgiving holiday, Shawn Holes, aka Shawn the Baptist, decided to come to UCCS and describe how we are going to Hell. If you don’t believe in Jesus Christ, you are going to Hell. Are you gay or bisexual? You are going to Hell. Sex before marriage? I’m sorry friend, but you are going to Hell. A large group of students surrounded the area, and eventually the whole scene turned into a shouting match between students and Holes. Though this whole ordeal, Shawn the Baptist never wavered in his Robert Solis insults. Thanks to the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights, which states that Congress cannot abridge the freedom of speech, Shawn was allowed to disrupt the student body and spew hateful insults with abandon. Lately, it would seem that more and more people and groups are hiding behind the First Amendment to incite hatred and bigotry. Take for example, the Westboro Baptist Church. This group gets wide media attention by picketing military funerals with slogans like “God hates fags,” “Thank God for dead soldiers” and my personal favorite, “Dumbledore is in Hell.” The Anti-Defamation League and Southern Poverty Law Center categorize this organization as a hate group. Sadly, they work with impunity because they can hide behind the First Amendment. There is no dialogue occurring at these protests, and there is no connection to the soldier being laid to rest – they are there to hurt, plain and simple. Ask yourself: If your brother, sister, son, daughter or best friend were killed in a conflict, and the funeral was going to be picketed by these people, what would be your first emotion? Is it anything other than sorrow and anger? According to Colorado Law, a person or group can be charged with harassment if he or she is “repeatedly insulting, taunting, or challenging someone in a manner likely to provoke a fight” (CRS 18-9111). What the Westboro Baptist Church writes on its signs definitely fits the criteria for harassment. There have been many cases where angry mobs were driven to violence against picketers. So what the church is doing qualifies as harassment, but they remain untouched because of their First Amendment rights and some really good lawyers? We propose that the freedom of speech needs some revising. A narrower definition of what is protected and what is not protected would have the potential to allow states to persecute hate groups more effectively. It’s already unlawful to shout “Bomb!” or “Fire!” in a crowd when there is no danger present, because you can rally the crowd into a panic, and people may become injured trying to escape. Why should harassing a group of people toward anger and violence be any different? In philosophy, the idea of “natural law” (Jefferson and Locke) says it is our natural right to do whatever we want, as long as we do not harm others. Have we allowed free speech to go beyond our natural rights? It’s my right to swing my fist to the tip of your nose – but if I punch you, it’s wrong. It’s my right to say whatever I want – but if I _____, it’s wrong. We’re not sure how to fill in that blank yet, and we already may have gone too far. S

America is a nation that prides itself on its adaptability. The American ideal is individuality – the idea that people can make their own decisions to be who they want to be and to say what they want to say. This concept has been placed into our Constitution in the form of the Bill of Rights. The First Amendment guarantees the people’s right to free speech. Free speech, to a certain extent, is a package deal. Once you start defining what appropriate speech is, you have left free speech and have entered censorship. I am disgusted by people like Shawn Holes and the members of Westboro Baptist Church – people who have decided to use their right of free speech in a way that is so Aaron Collett offensive. They are showing the worst that humanity can offer. I will defend their right to be offensive, though. Offensiveness is not – cannot – be the bar for restricting speech. If we do that, then little dialogue will happen at all; everyone has their own offensiveness meter. Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The question in every case is whether the words used are used in such circumstances and are of such a nature as to create a clear and present danger that they will bring about substantive evils that Congress has a right to prevent.” Shawn Holes, while saying hateful, nasty things, is not causing a clear and present danger – he is not being polite, he is not being appropriate, but he is not inciting riots. Dissenting speech is good. Nations without dissenting speech are nations without freedom. Regardless of whether the speech is coming from a marginalized minority, a religious fanatic or a lone nut-job, a dissenting voice makes us examine our own beliefs. When students heard Holes’ shouts, they argued with him. They engaged. In doing so, they engaged in free speech of their own. Imagine, though, if it had been the other way around. Imagine if this was a Bible college campus, and one of those students was yelling that those students needed to stop believing they were going to Hell and start Comic by Arno supporting gay rights. Many students would support the protester in that situation. If we can’t stomach one, we can’t have the other. In 1798, Congress enacted a law called the Sedition Act, part of a set called The Alien and Sedition Acts. The Sedition Act made it illegal to “write, print, utter or publish…. false, scandalous and malicious writing or writing against the government of the United States.” At first glance, the language seems innocuous – especially as the newborn nation was looking at a possible war with France, and the legislation was designed to be used against spies. But the prosecutions that resulted from this law were not against spies. They were against normal people who disagreed with the president and his government. What is the difference between hate speech in a free nation, and revolutionary speech in a non-free nation? It’s very hard to tell the difference, primarily because the hate speech is often coming from people who don’t believe that the nation they are speaking in is free. Hate speech and bigotry are an unavoidable part of being a free nation. What is more important than quelling that speech is determining our response to it. Will we raise the level of debate and use good words to fight against those hateful words, or will we simply try and shut down all free speech because some people offend us with their rudeness? Careful – your response may say more about you than you’d like. S

Life on the Bluffs

December 12, 2011

Crossword: Scribe Trivia Campus Chatter 1




What do you think are some of the biggest trends or fads right now with college students? I think some of the fads are technology related, like getting the latest and the greatest. I see a trend toward hipster clothing.





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24 24





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Last week’s answers

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Photos by Robert Solis

Junior, Innovation



Kaitlin Nelson

Sara Cap

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W E H L 27 T H I R T Y T E 1 2 5 6 9 10 13 14 17 19 21 22 24 25

Down The first person to isolate caffeine This brand of coffee is sold in Columbine and Dwire Halls _______ gives you wings! Converts caffeine into theorems, according to Erdos This brand of coffee is sold in the University Center The only state in the U.S. that grows coffee This energy drink will give you Gratuitous Amounts of Energy! ____ Hour Energy includes a mega-dose of B vitamins Caffeine can be fatal after drinking this many cups of coffee This term refers to the region on earth where most coffee is grown What happens when you come down from a caffeine high The king of this country banned coffee in 1675 Caffeine is this color in its pure state This cola from the '90s had the highest caffeine content of all the sodas

games, and

James Bentley

Junior, Criminal Justice

What do you think are some of the biggest trends or fads right now with college students? Definitely Facebook. Are there any fads you think are particularly crazy? Flash mobs can get kind of crazy. I never understood. It’s like “Everybody! Just drop whatever you’re doing and come here and do this!” I’m doing homework. I’m busy.

Do you think that in five years people will regret what they are into now? You could, but not as long as you’re not doing anything too crazy.

Jewellanne Heartman PhD student, Physics

What do you think are some of the biggest trends or fads right now with college students? Most of my field, being in the physics field, involves a lot of computers and technology. So, I really see the fourth generation iPhone as a big fad right now, the tablet computers, Alienware laptops. And then, you always hear about all of the applications of gaming computers. You hear of “World of Warcraft” and “Harry Potter” games. Do you think that people will later regret that they were so into those things? Perhaps. They might realize that you lose out a little bit on the tangible when everything is electronic. Have you ever been part of a fad you now regret? Not that I regret. S

Page 14

Life on the Bluffs

the Scribble

December 12, 2011

Caught reading

Disclaimer: The contents of the Scribble are completely fabricated, peppered with inconsistencies and laced with lies.  Any resemblance to the truth found herein is a matter of sheer luck.  The Scribble should be approached with a healthy dose of skepticism, and its claims should be taken - if they are taken at all - with many grains of salt.

NORAD Loses Track of Santa over Bermuda Triangle Gonzalez G. Gonzalez

Mystery and mayhem plague the events surrounding Santa’s disappearance after NORAD lost track of Saint Nick and his reindeer over the Bermuda Triangle. He was en route from France to Cuba when his blip went dark. Things were going smoothly until about 32 miles in. “We just lost contact with him,” said trackers at NORAD. “We’re not sure what happened but we did receive this last transmission from him.” This transmission received was broken, but NORAD trackers decoded the message as following, “Pretty… lights incoming… Rudolph’s nose… not so bright… not guiding the sleigh tonight.” It appears that not even Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer’s nose could save the sleigh from whatever fate befell Saint Nick. As the search for Santa continues, many issues have been left in the dark. Something drastic must have happened to cause Santa to crash. Three theories have surfaced in the disappearance of the sleigh, including freak waves, aliens and the government, all having legitimate claims. Bermuda Triangle scientist Keith Boringmon theorizes that a rogue wave engulfed the sleigh in the Bermuda Triangle. “Rogue waves are freak acts of nature that can rise to be over 100 feet tall. With the poor vision Santa experienced at night over the ocean, a rogue wave would be hard to see until it was too late,” says Boringmon. According to Mariah Jane, author of

“Oh No, I Think I’ve Slept with an Alien,” the possibility of anything but an alien abduction of Santa Claus is ludicrous. “The reality here is that Santa was taken by aliens. The Bermuda Triangle is known for extraterrestrial activity, and Santa being alone out there with his reindeer makes him a prime target for alien abductions. He knows the secrets of every house in the world and how to get in to them. Aliens want this information for future abductions.” But according to local Larry Broeson, the government is to blame. “The truth is that the government wanted Santa to go down, man. They think he’s smuggling stuff into countries and they don’t like that they can’t control someone who can break into anyone’s house and leave something,” he said. “They think he’s a terrorist, bro. I ask you, does a terrorist bring joy to little children around the world?” Harrison Richard Cox of the Department of Defense said, “We’ve followed this Santa Claus character for a long time, and he is still suspected of carrying weapons of mass destruction. For that, we will always follow him. He poses a significant threat still bearing the colors of red, even with the continuous dangers of Communism. Now he wants to visit Cuba and ‘deliver presents to children?’ Highly unlikely.” Whatever the case, Santa Claus is still missing and there are still extremely disappointed children in Cuba with no presents. “I just want my Santa-poo back,” pleaded Mrs. Claus. “Without his sleigh delivering presents to the world, the job is left to Tim freaking Allen, and no one wants that.” S

Photo by Catherine Jensen

Congratulations to senior Tyler Kimsey, who was caught reading The Scribe. Tyler, who is majoring in economics, likes reading The Scribe because “I enjoy keeping up with things on campus, and checking out the lighter side of things as well.”

Invisible Joe

Photo by Robert Solis

Invisible Joe’s opponent has horrible aim, and after missing this many times, Invisible Joe took him down with one shot. S


December 12, 2011

Page 15

Athletes prepare for spring during off-season training Ryan Adams

When the temperatures start to drop and the terrain turns white, options become limited for warmweather sports (unless the golf team wants to try their hands at ice golf). The softball team can’t play on their field, the golf team will most likely not go outside in frigid temperatures and the track team has to find local field houses for workouts. It may seem like there are not very many options

for them, but Phil Trujillo, the head coach of the men’s golf team, begs to differ. “As far as practicing goes, we try and get out every chance we receive once the spring season starts,” he said. “We bundle up and get in some holes and try to just get the club back in our hands. We play a lot in California and Phoenix and that allows us to get our games solid before the regional tournament,” he furthered. Besides trying to get their reps in as far as play-

ing goes, spring athletes also do a lot of physical and mental preparation for the upcoming season. Athletes do training programs set up by their coaches that help keep them mentally and physically in shape during the off season. Trujillo said that since golf is such a mental sport, training the team in the mental aspects of the game is a very important part of their preparation. “Well, the mental side of it is personal; the process is to review what you accomplished during the

fall and how you played each round,” said Trujillo. “As for the team, I really think it’s a matter of taking the time to think about each round and how they can improve on them. What they did well each time they played and what they could do better too. That’s true for any sport.” Spring sports teams find the physical side of preparation to be just as important as the mental side. Although the mental side of sports tends to be underrated, Trujillo believes that being in good mental shape is a big factor in the



team’s success. “It’s really important to keep them active and together during the off season. We work out, play basketball and do some cardio as a team,” he said. Besides that, Trujillo also has his teams participate in a strength and conditioning program that focuses on core workouts and mobility. “It’s a lot of reps and hitting the same muscle group with two exercises and taking short breaks in between each exercise. For us, the main focus is about getting stronger and



preparing ourselves for the long, upcoming season,” he said. Like many other spring coaches in 2012, Trujillo wants his team to stick the program and accomplish the goals they have set for themselves. “Staying focused on our goals, practicing and getting mentally prepared are the biggest things during the off season, in my opinion,” he stated. “If we can do these things, we’ll be ready to go come spring. We may not be at 100 percent in our first two but we’ll get there.” S


BCS or Bull Crap Series? Chess boxing: the ultimate R A battle between brains and brawn yan

Tyler Bodlak

Rooks, hooks, checkmates and knockouts; the ultimate battle between brains and brawn. And, without a doubt, one of the world’s weirdest sports. It’s often referred to as the thinking man’s contact sport, an unlikely marriage between chess and boxing: chess boxing. Yes, chess boxing is exactly what it seems: a bizarre sport that rolls boxing and chess into a single 11 round bout. Chess boxing can trace its roots back to 1992 and a comic book titled “The Nikopol Trilogy.” In this book, one scene depicts men boxing on a giant chessboard. This image inspired a Dutch artist to organize the first world’s first chess boxing match in 2003, which took place in

Amsterdam. A chess boxing match consists of 11 alternating rounds of boxing and chess. The match begins with a four-minute round of speed-chess (players only have 12 total minutes of chess time) followed by three minutes in the ring. This pattern continues until the match has either gone 11 rounds or a champion has emerged. Chess boxers can win by knockout, checkmate or if their opponent has run out of time during the chess portion of the match. While competing around the chessboard, players must wear earphones to avoid hearing hints shouted by the raucous crowds, as well as to cancel out the voice of the live

commentator. If the chess match reaches a stalemate, boxing scores are used to determine the winner. To be a successful chess boxer, competitors must be both experienced boxers as well as highly skilled chess players. Since 2003, the sport’s governing body, the World Chess Boxing Organization, has held a world championship to determine “the smartest, toughest (wo)man on the planet.” The two most popular locations for chess boxing tournaments are Berlin and London, each city having held 10 international tournaments apiece. In recent years, chess boxing has grown rapidly in popularity, sparking rumors that it may one day be an Olympic sport. S


As Christmas break nears, football seasons are drawing to a close. The NFL, after enduring a summer filled with labor arguments, is having one of the best seasons in recent memory. College football, on the other hand, is a completely different story. It’s not like the NCAA is having a miserable season. It has just been a weird, drama-filled, scandalous three month stretch. The scandal that topped all scandals, and one that will probably tarnish the program for years, is the Penn State child assault scandal. Anyone who owns a television probably knows the story of former Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky, who allegedly sexually assaulted children at his summer camps while Penn State icon Joe Paterno knew about the incidents and did nothing to put a stop to it. Paterno was fired and Penn State students rioted.

Besides the scandals – and there were plenty of them – one more looming issue has recently surfaced. It’s called the Bowl Championship Series, or BCS to most. According to Sports Business Digest, an online publication that deals with revenue’s in sports, the Bowl Championship Series will reportedly payout a total of $187 million dollars to NCAA conferences this season and $1.2 billion over the next decade. That $187 million dollars is only a small part of the total revenue the Bowl Championship Series makes annually. Sports Business Digest reports that the BCS has a $1.1 billion dollar annual impact and that number is expected to rise as the years go on. With all those facts, the BCS sure sounds like a great thing for our economy these days, right? Wrong. The truth is that the BCS is not the Bowl Championship Series; it’s the Bull Crap Series. Take this year for instance. Back on Nov. 5, two SEC (Southeastern Conference)

perennial powerhouses, Alabama and LSU, duked it out in what is deemed the “game of the century.” Again, wrong. The score was 9-6, something you would see coming out of a Major League Baseball box score. Fast forward to Dec. 4, when the BCS polls come out after the final weekend of the regular season. Selections for the Orange Bowl, Fiesta Bowl, Rose Bowl and Sugar Bowl were each great matchups that had not already been played out in the regular season. What about the hallowed BCS National Championship game? You guessed it; LSU and Alabama are at it again. No, this isn’t a joke. Get it right, BCS. If it’s all about the money, a playoff would be in your best interests. Not a rematch that was so boring I would rather watch European Tour golf highlights. Do what’s best for the country, not just the SEC, and I’m sure people will start smiling when they hear BCS instead of cringing. S

Winter break sports timeline If you are looking to attend a sporting event over your winter break, Colorado Springs has plenty of options.

UCCS men’s and women’s home basketball games

Friday, Dec. 16: 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. New Mexico Highlands

Colorado College home hockey games (all games at World Arena)

Friday, Dec. 30: 7:37 p.m. Air Force

Saturday, Dec. 17: 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. Western New Mexico Saturday, Dec. 31: 7:07 p.m. Union College

Friday, Jan. 6: 7:37 p.m. Cornell University

Friday, Jan. 13: 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. Regis

Saturday, Jan. 14: 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. Metro State

Saturday, Jan. 7: Friday, Jan. 13: Saturday, Jan. 14: 7:07 p.m. 7:37 p.m. 7:07 p.m. Cornell University St. Cloud State University St. Cloud State University

Sports the


Chess Boxing page 15

December 12, 2011

Enjoy the winter break with a healthy dose of Colorado Micki Cockrille

Colorado is unique in the way that it brings people from a plethora of backgrounds together to explore the outdoors to simply have fun. Colorado offers many options this winter, such as snowshoeing, winter hiking, sledding and ice skating. Though there are many

places to sled near campus, if you are willing to take a little drive, Rampart Range is an excellent sledding destination. One of the best sledding hills in the area is located half an hour from Colorado Springs, near Woodland Park. From Woodland Park, take Rampart Range Road north for half a mile until a large, open meadow pops into view. This sledding hill is one

of the region’s finest and is regularly used by people of all ages who enjoy the thrill of sledding. If sledding isn’t necessarily your way of enjoying the snow, then there is still the possibility of snowshoeing and winter hiking. As well as the ‘super-secret’ sledding hill on Rampart Range, the path to Rampart Reservoir exists to the east of Woodland Park.

Photo by Alex Gradisher

Seritch Ice Center, located at Memorial Park, was voted the best ice skating rink.

The hike is well known to area residents and is frequently traversed by regular hikers in the summer and snowshoers in the winter. The path is great for beginners and veterans alike, with beautiful views of Pikes Peak. A slightly more challenging hike that snowshoers and hikers can enjoy is the Crags. Aside from the scenic views along the three-mile trail, the view from the summit of the Crags is also breathtaking. With the Sangre de Cristo Mountains in the distance, the various reservoirs surrounded by the forest below and the backside of Pikes Peak behind you, the Crags is a great winter hiking trail. Hiking the Crags requires travelling west of Woodland Park to Divide, and then south on Highway 67. Sometimes making a trip up to Rampart or Divide is difficult due to time constraints, so if you are looking for winter fun in the city of Colorado Springs, visit the Sertich Ice Center located in Memorial Park just east of Downtown. Voted as the best ice

Photo by Alex Gradisher

Brenda Tarkinton, a coach at Seritch Ice Center, leaves the ice for a spinning leap during a morning practice. rink in 2009 through 2011 by the Gazette, the Sertich Ice Center provides time for public skating, group skating, figure skating and youth hockey. At the corner of Pikes Peak and Union, the indoor ice rink is open year-round, but regular attenders say the place

becomes almost magical during the holidays. The 35,000 square-foot ice rink has become popular in Colorado Springs as one of the best places to ice skate. Whatever your preference is, Colorado offers a variety of winter activities to enjoy over the holidays. S

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Dec. 12, 2011  

Vol. 36, Iss. 16