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November 30 to December 6, 2010 [Volume 35. Issue 13]

The story of home

Pioneers Museum remembers Colorado Springs (page 8) Inside this issue...

OSA chooses winning parade float (page 10)

How to live with our wilder neighbors (page 9)

UCCS gains support for Jewish community (page 4)


The philosophy of Insane Clown Posse Page 2

Editor-in-Chief Avalon Manly A few days ago, I attended a lecture by Biblical investigator Robert Cornuke, the founder of the Biblical Archaeology Search and Exploration (BASE) Institute, who has travelled the globe in his attempts to substantiate historical events mentioned in the Bible. As an anthropology major, I was interested to hear his perspective, and to see how it differed, if it did, from the things I learn in my studies. Turns out, Cornuke professes much the same level of philosophy and intellect as that bygone shock rap band, Insane Clown Posse, in their infamous song, “Miracles.” You know the one. It’s a meme now: “I see miracles all around me/ …Fucking [sic] magnets, how do they work? / And I don’t wanna talk to a scientist/ Y’all motherfuckers [sic] lying, and getting me pissed.” Don’t mistake me. By no means do I associate religiosity with a lack of intellect or examination; in fact, I’m a Christian myself, and I know a great many believers who happen to be some of the smartest, wisest people I can ever hope to know. But I am also a scientist. I learned long ago that miraculous occurrences and scientific explanation are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Just because we understand how our bodies heal doesn’t make our regenerative properties less wondrous; recognizing what happens during a thunderstorm doesn’t diminish its power. Humans have an innate and deeplyset desire to understand the world in which we live, and that’s one of the beauties of being human, but by no stretch of the imagination should that reduce our awe. On the contrary: The more we learn about the

world, the more astonished we should become by its flawless, perfectly-shaped methods, and the more miracles we should unearth. Cornuke, on the other hand, believes, as many do, that science and faith are inherently and persistently opposed. Theory is anathema to the way he has chosen to understand the world and scientific explanation little more than charlatanism. Now, I know nothing of the man’s character, and have no wish to disparage him personally. It’s entirely possible that he’s a wonderful, charitable person who seeks to better the world around him. His work, however, is backward and an immediate detriment to the work of real archaeologists all over the world. He makes himself out as some kind of Christian Indiana Jones and misuses and abuses archaeological interpretation and testing as well as the principles of basic logic. By ignoring international archaeological policy and sometimes the outright laws of international passage and interaction, he makes the world a much harder place for archaeologists who, per established methods, obey laws, respect cultural artifacts and attempt to be sensitive to their hosts in foreign lands. But I think the thing that bothered me most about Cornuke and his work was his treatment of the high school-aged kids that attended his talk. He said – and I’m not making this up – that when those kids grew up and went to college, the world would attack them with things like “philosophy” and “big words” and draw them away from their faith. He claimed most of them would never to return. He suggested that the entire realm of academia was designed as a direct affront to religion, and that scholars and all their science have nothing to offer, because some of their theories don’t fit with his worldview. The kicker, though, was that no one questioned him. The kids nodded and gulped and looked appropriately chagrined. I wondered, later, if those kids, who owe their critical thinking skills to Google, even know how to question the things that are handed

to them from behind a podium or atop a brightly lit stage. Is the ability to view authoritative sources like teachers and professionals with any healthy degree of skepticism completely foreign to them? I’m no fool: I know that journalism as we know it is dying, and while that is neither here nor there, the future of the world of news is unclear. The world now belongs to the blogosphere, to citizen journalists, to digital investigators and the power of the keyboard. And perhaps that’s fine. Maybe that’s just the way the world turns and the evolution of how we ingest information is just a sign of natural progress. But maybe it’s not fine. Maybe the loss of the watchdogs is more dangerous than it seems at first glance. Maybe, when Homeland Security starts ignoring due process and shutting down websites without notifying the operators, like they did last week, we’ll need someone at the forefront who can ask tough questions and tell the world that story. We need people who can shine the light on the things that thrive in the dark. But the one thing I value most from all my years as a reporter is the gift of skepticism. As I began to work for print media I was taught that everybody has an agenda, and that every story has more than two sides. You can’t take what people say at face value because someone else’s perspective is just as valuable. Multiple voices is the key; learning to recognize the important questions, and having the courage to ask them, is what makes journalism important. By that same token, it’s important to question the news. Journalists are the watchdogs of the machine; readers are the watchdogs of the journalists. As media ask questions from the ones with the power, you, the readers, the consumers of news and information, should ask questions of the media. Demand ethical conduct. Understand the boundaries and reach of the First Amendment. Start the outcry for transparency and truth. Ask the tough questions. Because it seems that no one else will. S

November 30 to December 6

the scribe The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs

Editor-in-Chief.........................................Avalon Manly Managing Editor........................................Jessica Lynch Business Manager.....................................John Christian Advertising/Sales Manager..........................Luis Hidalgo News Editor.........................................Catherine Jensen Culture Editor.........................................Brock Kilgore Athletics Editor......................................Matt Crandall Opinion/Scribble Editor...........................Cherise Fantus Photograhy Editor.................................Ariel Lattimore Copy Editor.............................................Cherise Fantus Web Master.............................................Dorian Rogers Video Master............................................Joseph Ruffini Layout Designers..........................................J.D. Osorio ....................................................................Shreya Raj Reporters...................................................Alex Cramer ............................................................Ryan Piechowski Photographers.....................................Carrie Woodruff ...........................................................Chelsea Bartlett .............................................................Michelle Wood Junior Reporters.........................................Amanda Putz ................................................................Kristin Garst .................................................................Sara Horton ...................................................................Amy Koumis ...................................................................Ryan Adams ...............................................................Corey Mensing .....................................................Wellington Mullings ..............................................................Jeremy Lengele Junior Photographer...................................Brett Owens Contributors...........................................Steven Farrell Cartoonist............................................................Arno Distributor...........................................Donald Trujillo Advisor.....................................................Laura Eurich ----------------Cover photo by Avalon Manly----------------The Scribe UC 106 (719) 255-3658 | (719) 255-3469 | (719) 255-3600 |

Information Letters to the Editor The Scribe strongly encourages letters to the editor. Letters intended for publication must not exceed 350 words, must be legible and include the writer’s name and contact information. Letters must be submitted to The Scribe via email at by 5:00 p.m. on Thursdays before publication. The Scribe reserves the right to reject letters to the editor that are libelous, obscene or anonymous and has the right to edit as necessary due to space limitations, spelling or other grammatical errors and AP style guidelines. Distribution Policy The following conducts are prohibited by The Scribe: Publication and news rack theft. A person commits the offense(s) of publication and/or news rack theft when he or she willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than one copy of any edition of a publication distributed on or off campus (a “publication” is any periodical that is distributed on a complimentary basis). Any person who commits these offences is responsible for compensating The Scribe for any reasonable costs incurred, including, where appropriate, the refunding of advertising fees. Archives Additional copies of the current publication volume are available in The Scribe’s office. The Scribe keeps issues from the past five volumes for internal use only. The Office of University Records will handle any request for additional issues from the past five years and before. Advertising If you, your club, organization or business wishes to advertise with The Scribe, please call (719) 255-3469 or email

student life

November 30 to December 6

all aboard



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New technology plays into the hands of airport employees Having your pants around your ankles is no longer a private bathroom activity. Last week at Denver International Airport, officials discovered a full body scanner operator utilizing his right hand while a team of high school netball players made the increasingly arduous trek through security. According to Jeb Rather, a passenger on a flight to New York, “…every time one went through, this guy’s face was getting redder and redder. His hand was moving and then he started sweating. He was then seen doing his ‘O’ face.” Upon discovery, the operator was dragged from the booth and cuffed. While many have voiced concern over the intrusive scan, head of the TSA’s scanning department, Rodney Schroeder, said, “What do you want to do, get blown up by a goddamn Arab at 30,000 feet, or we get to see your private parts? It’s up to you, the ball’s in your park.” …Or in the hands of a scanning operator.

Chlorophyll rocks.

The Advent of Ski Season

And there shall be light! As long as there is plenty of vegetation, of course. Scientists from the Academia Sinica and the National Cheng Kung University in Taipei and Tainan are working on implanting glowing, sea urchin-shaped gold nanoparticles into the leaves of plants. The violet light found in the gold nanoparticles would cause chlorophyll, known for its ability to absorb light, to glow red. These nanoparticles, known as bio-LEDS, could potentially replace the electricity needed to power streetlights and make trees luminescent at night. According to Yen-Hsun Su, “This will save energy and absorb CO2 as the bioLED luminescence will cause the chloroplast to conduct photosynthesis.”

On Dec. 1, the UCCS S.O.L.E. Club is hosting a ski workshop, where students can tend to their winter wonderland equipment in preparation for hitting the slopes. The workshop will cover the basics of ski maintenance and repair, including waxing, edge tuning, base repair and general maintenance. Be ready for the powder this year by readying your gear now.


“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” -- Shirley Temple

Fill out the sudoku puzzle below so that each row and column contain the numbers 1 through 9 with none repeated. Return it and the adjacent crossword to the Scribe office when finished; if you’re the first one done (and they’re done right), you’ll be awarded 1with adifficulty $5 gift certificate to Jives Coffee Lounge. Puzzle (Very hard, rating 0.85)

Why Are We Tired? 1


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7 1





1 5


9 5

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Generated by on Sun Nov 28 21:19:05 2010 GMT. Enjoy!





ACROSS 3 There are ten dozen more cookies to bake before tomorrow morning! Quick, knead! Knead, I say! 6 The last exams of the year, when no one's slept for days and everyone has to regurgitate information they can barely recall and will never remember again. 8 'Tis the season to give back until you have nothing left to give and end up drowning in the soup you're supposed to be ladling out. 10 We drink three pots a day, and it's lost all ability to influence our sleep patterns. 11 The last defense of the turkey. Unfortunately, it's also posthumous. 12 Who can sleep when there's fresh powder on the slopes?

DOWN 1 Affording presents requires more of this. 2 It's sparkly and bright and distracting and your cat keeps trying to eat strands of it. 4 You'll never pass finals of you don't do this. 5 You're naked, standing in front of 400 other people, giving a presentation on something you know nothing about, and it's worth 300 percent of your grade. Also, your parents are there. 7 You're heater broke and all your coats are at the cleaner's, so you're this and can't sleep till you thaw. 9 Trying to get everyone you have ever met a gift before the 25th of next month can take it out of you. 10 Try not to go crazy and kill them all as they travel door to door with their bells and infernally cheery songs.


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November 30 to December 6

Hillel comes to UCCS’ Jewish community Catherine Jensen Hillel, a foundation for Jewish campus life, provides Jewish students at over 500 colleges and universities the opportunity to build community and explore Jewish culture. UCCS had its own Hillel from 2004 to 2005, which dematerialized after a decrease in student involvement, according to Anthony Cordova, director of Mosaic. After working with Mosaic, students Andrew Roome and Aaron Novy have recently reestablished a Hillel here. Hillel was created in 1923 at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign and adopted by B’nai B’rith the following year, enabling Hillel to grow into the world’s largest Jewish campus organization, according to B’nai B’rith was founded in 1843 in New York City as a Jewish fraternal order and is the largest international Jewish service organization and the sponsor of Hillel until 1994. Novy has tried to

bring Jewish life to campus before, but has had little success until he met Roome, he said. Roome a freshman this year, expressed feeling isolated and alienated when he arrived at UCCS. “The first week of school I ran into Cru [Campus Crusade for Christ] handing out Bibles and I thought, ‘Is this what I’m going to have to go through all semester?’ I was worried I wouldn’t find any other Jewish students.” Novy has previously made due by attending services in other parts of town. CC offers kosherstyle Friday night dinners for Shabbat, but Novy said sometimes it is difficult to make the drive, especially when going alone. Novy and Roome are looking forward to building community on campus. They are hoping to hold inter-faith events for student across all faiths. “As long as people are respectful we are open to all. We are not trying to convert anyone or argue with them. We all believe in important things,” said Novy. Student Isabelle

Photo by Brett Owens

The InterFaith House, located on Colorado College’s campus, is where the students in Hillel come to practice their faith.

Soifer said she is looking forward to participating in Hillel and brining attention to Jewish life. “It feels like Jewish students here can’t be proud of who they are because there is such a strong Christian presence; it feels awkward.”

The future is now

The ability to use your Munch Money is now at your fingertips Customers at Jazzman’s might soon have the opportunity to pay for their java with a thumbprint scanner, courtesy of the OneCard system. The method is spearheaded by Terrance Boult, Chair of Innovation and Security and Professor of Computer Science, and is still in the testing phase—according to baristas, it “works somewhat” and has not seen much use yet. The current scanner at Jazzman’s works by reading an impression of a user’s thumb, then logging the unique parts of the fingerprint into the system’s memory. When a fingerprint is scanned, the system refers to the unique image and opens a pre-filled Munch Money or OneCard account. Susan Szpyrka, Senior Associate Vice Chancellor for Administration

and Finance explained, “I love it because I don’t have to carry my OneCard, which is my Munch Money card, everywhere.” The system may also be used in the future for age verification for purchasing alcohol, but first needs to be cleared through liquor licensing. Although the scanner is currently only in use at Jazzman’s, the university hopes to have similar devices across campus by the Spring semester. “It’s our goal to have it operational for people to voluntarily enroll in by the beginning of the spring semester,” said Szpyrka. Changes and upgrades have already been made to improve the existing system, and eventually students should be able to pre-register to use the scanners at University Center. -Amy Koumis

Photo by Chelsea Bartlett

Erin Cullipher pays for her items by using the finger pay system instead of having to use her student ID.

Roome and Novy are hoping to host services on a weekly basis in the UC. Both Novy and Roome come from Air Force families and said they know what it’s like to have to make do with what you have. “Some Air Force bases don’t

even have a chapel, much less a space for Jews, so we are used to doing what we can with what’s there,” said Novy. There may be some setbacks, they said. There is a policy against the use of candles in campus buildings, and the group is cur-

rently without a Rabbi. If they are unable to find one, Novy said students will conduct the services. They will be hosting a Chanukah party on Dec. 3 in the UC. All are invited to attend. Anyone interested in Hillel may write to S


November 30 to December 6

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The magic of the Livescribe smartpen Sara Horton Studying for finals is hard enough without also struggling to decipher the notes that now resemble hieroglyphics. With the Livescribe smartpen, illegible notes are a thing of the past. Livescribe smartpens are gadgets that record the audio of your lecture and connect it to your written notes. While you’re writing, your smartpen links everything you hear to everything you write. By tapping a particular line in your notes with the tip of the smartpen the corresponding lecture will play. According to the Livescribe website, you can “enjoy the feel of pen on paper while capturing that brilliant idea, rough sketch or even adding a personal touch to your emails.” The smartpen can also transcribe your written notes into a word document by plugging it into a computer’s USB port. Everything you have both

written and drawn on the pen’s dot paper will upload. Notes and audio can even be made into interactive movies to share with friends. For example, if a student drew a piano on their paper, it would become interactive and the keys could be played. Student Tina Gallegos purchased a Livescribe pen as a birthday gift for herself, and uses it every day in her classes, tapping the page to record bits of lecture that she wants to be able to recall verbatim. It’s nice, she says, because sometimes she writes too slowly catch every nuance - but now, her pen does that for her. Livescribe currently offers two smartpens: the Pulse and the Echo. The Pulse smartpen has 2GB of memory and can hold over 200 hours of audio. The Echo smartpen, which is available with either 4GB or 8GB of memory, holds at least twice as many hours of audio than the Pulse. To use any smartpen, users must have a Mac or Windows operating sys-

Photo Courtesy of

The Livescribe pen records your lectures, digitizes your notes and interactions with your scribbles. Now, if only it would write that term paper for you.

tem. Mac users need an Intel Mac with OS X 10.5.5 or newer, and Windows users need Windows XP with SP3, Windows Vista or Windows 7. Livescribe smartpens are not cheap and are offered at Livescribe’s online store. A new Pulse is $129.95. New 4GB and 8GB Echoes are $169.95 and $199.95.

Now hiring! Looking for a job that will provide you with realworld experience and increased marketability? The Scribe is hiring for the following positions: News Editor

The News Editor retains a position on The Scribe’s editorial board and is responsible weekly for gathering and selecting story ideas, editing and producing content, managing reporters and remaining current on all campus happenings. This position works very closely with the Managing Editor, Editor-in-Chief and various section editors. Applicants must be skilled in journalism, Associated Press guidelines, management and working against deadlines. Previous experience preferred. Position interns until January 2011, at which time the anticipated schedule will include approximately 12 hours per week at hourly pay and piecework awards. If interested, please email a cover letter and resume to

Assistant Advertising and Sales Manager

This job requires footwork, navigating among potential advertising customers throughout the city. The Assistant Ads Manager will work closely with the Advertising and Sales Manager, Managing Editor and Editor-in-Chief. Previous experience in public relations, sales and/or advertising preferred. Applicants must be good with people, professional, capable; have access to reliable and consistent transportation; and anticipate working 10 to 15 hours per week for hourly pay and a to-be-determined commission. Please email a cover letter and resume to


Reporters are responsible for supplying the paper with content. Each week, they propose ideas, investigate stories and work closely with the section editors, Managing Editor, Editor-in-Chief and sometimes layout staff in order to create articles and columns that are ready to print. If interested, please email a cover letter, resume and writing sample to


Two photography positions are currently open. Applicants must own their equipment and have previous experience in photography. Consistent access to reliable transportation is required. These positions require working against deadline on a variety of assignments and the ability to function well in teams. Positions are unpaid as internships; promotion is possible. If interested, please send a cover letter, portfolio and resume to

Refurbished smartpens are occasionally available online for a fraction of the cost. A Livescribe smartpen may pay for itself over time if a student finds the smartpen helpful, but costs do not end with the smartpen itself. Livescribe smartpens only write on special dot paper. While a notebook

full of dot paper is provided with every smartpen purchase, additional 150 page notebooks cost about $8 each, depending on the number of pages or sections provided. Additionally, smartpens only use special ink cartridges. Again, some are provided with a smartpen purchase, but an extra pack

of 5 ink cartridges costs almost $6. These costs can quickly pile up for a college student. Livescribe smartpens are available online at Livescribe’s website at They are also sold on and at Best Buy, Target, the Apple Store, Brookstone and Staples. S

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New CU regent wants to keep tuition in check Cherise Fantus With the burdens of student loans and the hope that they might qualify for a scholarship or a grant, students at UCCS would be thrilled to see lower tuition rates. One of Sue Sharkey’s main goals as the new Regent for the 4th Congressional District is to make sure that tuition rates remain fair. Instead of raising tuition and taxes, Sharkey plans to promote a budget “that leverages the school’s assets to control costs,” according to her website. While Chancellor Pam Shockley-Zalabak is “always worried about the budget” here at UCCS, she said that she is not worried in the least about Sharkey’s ability to perform her duties as regent. Sharkey is no stranger to CU or to Colorado Springs. Growing up in a

military family, she moved a lot, but ended up in Colorado Springs at the time of her father’s retirement. Her husband, David, graduated from CU in 1978, began his graduate studies at UCCS and is the president of the CU Parents Association (CUPA). She has three grown children, two of whom went through the CU system. “CU was a part of us,” she said. As such, she understands the needs of the schools in the area. “Her knowledge of Colorado Springs will be important for UCCS,” said Zalabak. Many of the past regents have not spent much time in Colorado Springs, let alone lived here. Sharkey has a second home in Manitou Springs and looks forward to many visits to UCCS. “It’s still in my heart; it’s my home,” she said. With her concern for the budget and the economic struggles of both the university and of the students

and their families, Sharkey wants to make sure that a college education is made available to everyone. Though CU, and UCCS in particular, have made remarkable progress over the years in the areas of research and expansion, the downturn of the economy has slowed the progress. “We’ll get beyond that,” said Sharkey. She has proposed several ideas on how to keep the budget in check. She feels that it is important for CU to maintain its reputation as a worldclass institute in the areas of academics and research. In order to accomplish that, she supports targeted spending cuts to weed out inefficient programs and bureaucratic mandates that “add no value to higher education,” according to her website. A business professional, having made her career in marketing and public relations in the banking

industry, Sharkey wants use business strategies to increase funding. She supports efforts to gain more research grants for the school. With those grants, she supports the development of the findings of that research into commercial products. She brings with her leadership experience, including some experience in the UC system. She is the former president of the Larimer County Republican Women, a former Larimer County Republican executive board member, a former Cub Scout leader and a member of the CUPA board. In her six-year term, Sharkey is committed to making the cost of tuition less of a burden on students, parents and taxpayers. According to her website, she wants to be an advocate for families who “want to make sure they can balance educational goals and their checkbook.” S

tions toward the end of this semester can also be a hindrance, she said, because besides studying, there are parties and gifts on students’ minds. “You’re almost there, stay focused for a few more weeks,” she added. It is important to take care of yourself when you are under stress. Pulling all-nighters is not a healthy habit and alcohol is not a good way to deal with stress. Although they may give you a brief boost, the effects are detrimental. A healthy way to reduce stress is to exercise. Many students incorporate exercise into their schedules during final exam preparation. Visiting the Rec Center on campus is a good way to break up your day when studying for finals because it gets you out of sitting in the library or your room all day. Sarah Randall, a building manager at the UCCS Rec Center, said there are slightly more students at the Rec Center around finals as students continue their exercise routines. “Sometimes it’s really busy during the day,” said Randall. “People come in to use treadmills and elliptical [trainers] and read their notes while they’re doing that,” she added. While final preparations

differ, anxiety is a widespread problem. Monique Dixon, a senior majoring in psychology, has had a lot of practice perfecting her studying techniques. “I take advantage of things I can do ahead of time,” she said. Being bombarded with tests, papers and presentations can be difficult to deal with, she said, but believes that stressing out won’t do her any good. Instead, she uses her time wisely and doesn’t cram. For many tests, she studies in advance and won’t even look at test material within twenty-four hours before an exam. “I’m being tested on what I know, not what I don’t know,” she said. The study habits she has perfected will come in handy in December, when she takes the GRE in addition to her final exams. Although she has good habits now, Dixon wasn’t always an efficient studier. She does admit to cramming as a freshman. For most freshmen, December will be their first time taking college finals. Katrina Alexander, a freshman majoring in anthropology has only one final this semester. She devotes one hour every day to studying for her anthropology class, which she says is her most difficult course.

To keep down anxiety, she likes to escape physically and mentally. “I usually get as far away from school as possible,” she said. Doing that mentally means reading a book or surfing the Internet. Physically, she goes off campus to the mall or the movies to take a break from school. Another freshman, Grace Savage, is a biology and bio-chemistry major. This semester she has five finals. For her math and science courses, she makes study guides from her notes and does practice tests from her textbooks. Although she has a large workload, she is confident about her study habits because she has kept up with her work all semester. “I think it’s important to not focus on how much work it will be, but breaking it up into little pieces.” Regardless of the final exam workload, there are special events during the month offering assistance. Campus Housing will be hosting “Jump Start into Finals” from Dec. 6 through Dec. 9. The University Counseling Center also holds stress reduction workshops every Thursday. Additionally, on Dec. 1, they will be holding another test anxiety workshop. S

Keeping it cool during finals Corey Mensing For many students, the month of December is a unique juxtaposition of merriment and anxiety. While the holidays are quickly approaching, before you can truly celebrate, finals must be taken. For those stressed about finals, there are several resources on campus that can make exam time more approachable. The Office of First Year Experience will provide drop-in appointments the week before finals to all UCCS students. They offer assistance in test preparation and help students prepare for and be better equipped for tests. Appointments can also be made via phone. Ellen Pettijohn, assistant director of the Office of First Year Experience and Student Retention said it is a good idea to have a plan going into your finals week. “I would recommend preparing right away,” she furthered. She also advised not to wait for the week before finals to start studying. If you start creating study guides now, and finish your final papers early, you will have more time to study for final exams. Distrac-

November 30 to December 6

The news in brief Search for missing Boulder grad continues

University of Colorado at Boulder graduate and Greeley, Colo. native Aubrey Sacco, 23, went missing April 20 as she attempted to travel across Nepal and trek the outskirts of the Himalayas. Since she was reported missing in the early days of May, her parents, Paul and Connie Sacco have instigated a massive search and rescue operation in hopes of locating their daughter. Paul and his oldest son, a 2007 UCCS graduate, Crofton Sacco, flew to Nepal in search of Aubrey last June, only to discover her laptop computer and some other personal items where she was staying. Nearly seven months since her disappearance, her family and friends remain hopeful she is still alive. Paul commented Nov. 25 about the latest developments, saying, “We have launched a new on-the-ground investigation using a number of local people in Nepal that we are very excited about, although response from some of our government officials in the U.S. is not as quick as we would like. We are using different angles to find Aubrey based upon recommendations of some very experienced state department people.” -MC S

Students count down to winter commencement On Dec. 17, a predicted 500 students will participate in UCCS’ winter commencement ceremonies. Graduation is scheduled for 2 p.m. at the Colorado Springs World Arena, 3185 Venetucci Boulevard. Chancellor Pam Shockley-Zalabak, CU President Bruce Benson and 1987 MBA graduate Becky Medved are expected to attend and comment on the commencement. Undergraduate as well as graduate students will receive diplomas at the ceremony. Jointly, the CU Board of Regents will reward Robert Berliner, a Los Angeles attorney, with an honorary doctorate of humane letters. Members of the UCCS community are both welcome and encouraged to attend. If you wish to help in any way, contact Tina Collins, program assistant at 255-3258. -JL S

UCCS expects increase in community college transfters

Transferring schools is now easier than ever thanks to UCCS Guaranteed. Proposed early last week, the program will guarantee admission for eligible community college students to any arts and sciences program at Boulder, Denver and Colorado Springs. According to Regent Stephen Ludwig, it’s important for students attending community colleges who have felt intimidated by the admissions process to “see the light at the end of the tunnel.” Having attended two community colleges himself, Ludwig explained that his motivations stemmed from both his personal experience and his belief in the importance of creating and facilitating a less intimidating system in Colorado. Students wishing to transfer must have 30 semester hours of transferrable course work coupled with a 2.7 grade point average or higher. Unlike most guaranteed admissions programs, an associate’s degree is not a prerequisite. For the 135,000 students already attending the system’s 13 community colleges, this provides an excellent opportunity. -JL S

Campus facilitates healthy lifestyles

Cold weather is typically coupled with warm, fulfilling, hardly healthy foods. In order to combat the seasonal tendencies, UCCS’ Nanna Meyer, a registered sports dietician and assistant professor of Health Sciences and Kelly Ping, a registered dietician and graduate student, are offering their services. The nutrition clinic is open to faculty, staff and students and through a series of interviews, personal eating habits will be broken down in order to make a healthy lifestyle possible. The two women run a fee-for-service clinic and under Meyer’s supervision, individualized plans created to meet personal and overarching health goals will prepare UCCS for the baked goods indicative of the holiday season. The clinic is working alongside both the Student Health Center and the University Counseling Center to improve mental and physical health. As explained by Meyer, “Food is fuel,” not something to fear or restrict. For more information, contact Ping at 255-7524. -JL S

- Scribe Staff

November 30 to December 6


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Poet Maria Melendez to visit campus this week Catherine Jensen Prize-winning poet, editor, publisher and author Maria Melendez will be visiting UCCS on Dec. 1 at 7:30 p.m in the second floor apse of the library. Dr. Janice Gould, a WEST professor behind the event, said she decided to invite Melendez after her partner, Marie-Elise Wheatwind, reviewed Melendez’s new book, “Flexible Bones,” for The Women’s Review of Books, which was released in February of 2010. “It’s important to nurture creativity,” Gould said, “When we bring people from outside our local community to campus, this is an opportunity for cultural enrichment and growth, especially if we take the time to reflect on and discuss with one these author, scholar, and artist visits.” Melendez, who has been writing since she was a child, has published two collections of poetry in addition to her recently released book, one of which is called “Base Pairs and How Long She’ll Last in This World,” which received Honorable Mention at the 2007 International Latino Book Awards and was named a finalist for the 2007 PEN Center USA Literary Awards. She is currently the editor and publisher for Pilgrimage Magazine, a publication that features the writing of people of the Southwest, published three times a year in Pueblo. The magazine emphasizes the general themes of spirit, witness, place, peace and justice and each issue holds an individual theme on which all the selections are based, according to Melendez. The next issue coming out in December and will have the theme, “Between the living and the dead,” which Melendez said was pulled from Darwin’s journals. “Charles Darwin’s journal expresses delight and wonder at similarities between South American fossil species and living South American animals. He’s certain ‘this wonderful relationship in the same continent between the dead and the living’ will more than any other line of inquiry, illuminate the mystery of ‘the appearance of organic beings on our earth and their disappearance from it,’” she writes on Pilgrimage Magazine’s webpage. The upcoming theme will consider work that examines the links between the living and the dead, what makes them important and what is celebrated/ feared/buried. Melendez will consider work for this issue through Sept. 15, 2010. Photo Courtesy of “I can’t not write [po- Melendez’s new book, “The Flexible Bones,” came out etry],” Melendez said, earlier this year, and is available online and in stores. “It is central to who I am. Poetry gives us metaphor fundamental to how we see the world as interconnected.” Her work is filled with wit and humor, gentle irony and sometimes severity, according to Gould. “Poetry is an art with a very old history—I think poetry offers a gift somewhat like music: upon hearing a work, we may not follow or understand it intellectually, but we can nevertheless at times derive a kind emotional insight from the work, and that is every bit as important, if not more so,” Gould expressed. “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along,” a poem about injustice and unjust media, refers to the murder of Laci Peterson, who was killed by her husband when she was seven months pregnant, as well as about Evelyn Hernandez, another murdered pregnant woman. The poem questions the silence in the media and the way one tragedy (that of Laci Peterson) was valued over another (Evelyn Hernandez). In addition to drawing inspiration from political and local issues such as in “Why Can’t We all Just Get Along,” Melendez said she is inspired by being a mother and being in nature as well as the work of Chicano poets Pat Mora and Valerie Martinez; she continues to be inspired by the work of her mentors in graduate school. Supporters and sponsors of the event include the Free Expression Poetry club (FREEX), Gender Alliance and Liberation (GAL), MOSAIC, the Matrix Center, Dean Teri Switzer from the Kraemer Library, Vice Chancellor Peg Bacon and the Women’s and Ethnic Studies (WEST) Department, as well as the Social Science Symposium Series which contributed to the initial donation. S

Photo Courtesy of

It is likely that Maria Melendez will read some poetry from her new book at this week’s gathering.


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Historical immersion at The Pioneers Museum

The Rundown What Historical Emersion at the Pioneer’s Museum Where 215 S. Tejon St. When Tues - Sat, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. How Much FREE More Info 719.385.5990

History happens. This much we know for sure. Our conceptions of what happened are as varied as each of our human minds. This is what makes history so fickle. As a graduate student in history here at UCCS, most of what we do in class is to debate what history should be. The one, and maybe only, thing that is generally agreed upon amongst historians is that academic history has to be written using primary documents. Primary documents are, simply, objects and ideas from a specific time period. Most of the time historians focus on written documents like diaries, journals, manuscripts, and public and private records, but things like maps, photographs, oral histories and artifacts qualify as well. The Colorado Springs Pioneers Museum specializes in primary objects that can, and really need to be, looked at, listened to and examined in different ways than words. This is not to say that they don’t have written documents, because they have many, but what makes this local museum fun is a sense of emersion. The museum is free to the public, although donations are accepted and encouraged, and is open Tuesday. The grounds surrounding the museum are well-sculpted, offer interesting views and are filled with statues depicting subjects like skiing in Colorado and the Tenth Mountain Division. The architecture of the old courthouse combines nearly all styles and is worth spending some time deciphering. The building itself is a piece of local history. Built in 1903, it used to be the El Paso County Court House. Inside is a combination of large, ornate halls with great golden arches and patchwork stone floors, and smaller, mazelike corridors all brimming with interesting artifacts. Most of the displays and individual pieces are about, and from, the Pikes Peak Region. Museum Cultural Services Manager and Director Matt Mayberry, explained that “What is valuable to UCCS is a strong take on our museum’s role not only in local history, but in its national and international context.” A perfect example is “So far from home: the American POW experience

Photos and Story by Brock Kilgore in WWII” exhibit. Twelve local veterans who were POWs are featured, and their stories are presented as individual sub-exhibits with relevant artifacts and well-written texts, some that admittedly tug at the heart strings. At the same time the exhibit flows with an overriding experience of what it might have been like to be a POW in any war. Mayberry, described the parts and the whole by saying, “We tell stories through artifacts, but they must tell a complete story.” He went on to describe the tangible importance of the exhibit by saying, “It is such a great human story. It gets to key points of how people return from war and get reacquainted, which can help modern returning vets and their families.” The museum houses many other exhibits and individual pieces. They have a room full of paintings of Pikes Peak, a display about how Pikes Peak has been marketed to tourists and others over the years, and a Health Care in Colorado Springs cavern with a scary dentist’s chair and a crazy mirrored room full of potions. Probably the most popular objects are the murals of the history of the Pikes Peak Region painted by local artist Eric Bransby. Other popular exhibits include: One Man and His Vision: General William Jackson Palmer, Walking Into An Ancient World: The Paleontology of Red Rock Canyon and a replica of Helen Hunt Jackson’s Colorado Springs home. The museum’s exhibits are fun and informative, but what is not on display is important to potential researchers. They have extensive archives full of documents, photos, artifacts and other things that can be used for historical research, but please make an appointment and have respect. UCCS students have a unique research connection to the museum in Archivist Leah Davis-Witherow. Besides having a keen eye for setting up displays and managing the archives for the museum during the day, Davis-Witherow is a history professor for UCCS at night. Davis-Witherow’s Colorado History and Museum Studies courses are among the most popular in the history department, and she is a necessary and indispensable re-

Top: The Pioneer Museum once served El Paso County as its court house. Above: A POW living space, displayed as it would have been circa WWII.

source for any local or regional history researcher. The future of the museum has been in jeopardy lately because of city budget cuts, but they have persisted, and are looking towards the future. According to an Executive Summary in July, “We are transitioning from a City museum with private sector support to a nonprofit museum working

in partnership with the City.” To keep the doors open they proposed a “New Financial Model” where they plan to generate revenue through “fees, sales, rentals and leases,” increased grants and sponsorships, and proposed partnerships with entities like the Pikes Peak Library District, Sustainable Parks Initiative and the Colorado Historical Society. S

Lions & Bears

Story by Sara Horton Photo Courtesy of Nancy Manly

When a mountain lion— the actual animal, not a costumed UCCS mascot—was sighted at the UCCS campus earlier this month, we were all reminded that we share Colorado with a number of creatures. Unfortunately, not all of them are friendly. Conflicts with wildlife should be avoided at all costs, but it’s always useful to know how to react during a potential encounter. Mountain lions are most active during dawn and dusk because deer have the same schedule. They are generally calm animals that shy away from loud noises, so make plenty of sounds when walking around campus boundaries. Attacks are rare, but they can be provoked if people turn their backs on a mountain lion and run. In such a situation, mountain lions may mistake people for prey and pounce. Instead of running, stay calm and back away slowly. Make yourself look as big as possible, raise your arms, and speak firmly. In the rare event a mountain lion reacts aggressively, the Colorado Division of Wildlife recommends throwing things at the mountain lion, without crouching or turning around. The trick is intimidation. Convince the mountain lion that you are a threat, and it will most likely dismiss you and go about its business. If attacked, fight back. Fighting is the fastest way to end an attack because a mountain lion will eventually decide you are not worth the hassle. Rocks and sticks can help in a fight, but the only weapon needed is your body. Last month in Divide, Colorado, a teenager fought off a mountain lion with her bare hands and made her attacker flee by kicking it in the head. Pets must also be protected from mountain lions. Never leave a pet outside and unsupervised for an extended period of time. In Colorado Springs, mountain lions have been reported to snatch cats and dogs from people’s yards in broad daylight. Bears have also been seen at the UCCS campus this semester. Unfinished food and wrappers are in the dumpsters outside student housing, and the stench of rotting garbage can attract hungry bears from miles away. The Colorado Division of Wildlife says bears need 20,000 calories during the early fall and often return to where they have once found food. Moreover, a confrontation with a bear can result in the bear’s euthanization. To prevent bears from needlessly dying or returning to UCCS, every dumpster on campus should be locked overnight. Fortunately, bears tend to be shy like mountain lions. They are not nocturnal, but they are most active at night to avoid people. However, bears are remarkably powerful animals that should never be approached. If a bear approaches you or your residence, make loud noises to scare it. If you witness a mountain lion or bear on campus, call UCCS Public Safety at (719) 255-3111. Sightings off-campus can be reported to the Colorado Division of Wildlife’s Southeast Region Service Center at (719) 227-5200. If the sighting is after Colorado Division of Wildlife office hours, Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., contact Colorado State Patrol.

Oh, my!


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November 30 to December 6

Spice is always nice: A guide to Thai Brock Kilgore When the temperature drops, and the pressure builds toward the end of the semester, the cuisine of Thailand provides ample spice to warm you up and quick service to get you on your way. Many Thai restaurants dot the landscape of Colorado Springs, but not all are authentic, very good or student friendly. Thai cooking can be described as infinite variations of a four part melody of salty, sweet, sour and spicy flavors using both native and imported ingredients. The following three restaurants are not ranked per se, but each scores high with varying levels of authentic representation and quality, ease of dining (sit down, pickup or delivery) and overall student value. Arharn Thai 3739 Bloomington St. (shopping center on the NE side of Powers and N. Carefree) 596-6559 11 a.m. - 8 or 9 p.m. daily and closed Wednesday

Dine-in and pickup only 5 out of 5 Authentic Thai Peppers

Arharn Thai was the best place I have tried in terms of authenticity, overall deliciousness and value. All entrees range from $6 to $8, all the time and all single appetizers are less than $4. This is absolutely unheard of anymore in a place with such a pretty, warm and inviting interior - and excellent, prompt service. The only downside is that it is on the other side of the village from those of us who live downtown or on the Westside, and they don’t deliver. Try the Shrimp Cocoon appetizer ($4 for 3) that look like deep fried cotton candy on a stick, but actually contain a shrimp wrapped in deep fried egg noodles. Som Tam is my favorite Thai dish because it is a well-balanced shredded green papaya salad with peanuts that starts out like a cool cucumber salad on a hot summer day and ends up like the spiciest thing you have ever tasted in the middle of the driest desert. Arharn’s version is

the best in town, but is entrée sized at $6.50, so it is best to share. They also have excellent versions of most Thai classics including: Tom Yum (lemongrass soup with chicken or shrimp), Tom Kha (coconut milk soup with chicken or shrimp), Pad Thai, Drunken Noodles and Jungle Curry with lots of veggies and no coconut milk. The Tropical Fried Rice and Gai Gra-thiam (garlic and black pepper chicken) are best sellers for a reason.

Thai Basil 7882 N. Academy Blvd. (across from Chapel Hills Mall) 268-1688 11 a.m. -10 p.m. daily (9 p.m. on Sunday) Dine-in, take-out and free delivery 5 out of 5 Happy Hour Stars 4 out of 5 Asian Fusion Stars Thai Basil has $1.25 import and domestic bottled beers (including Tsing Tao), $2 house wines and $3 cold Sake from 5 p.m. until 9 p.m. every day. You must purchase an entrée to

Photo by Brock Kilgore

If you ever stop by the Scribe office and it smells of curry and other spices, it’s because our copy editor has been there, and she eats more Thai food than Thai people.

get in on the deal, but their food is worth it, although not necessarily Thai. Thai Basil calls itself Asian fusion. What restaurants like Thai Basil, which is the only southern Colorado member of a six restaurant chain out of Denver, do is provide user-friendly interpretations of indigenous Asian cuisine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this approach, and it sells well. The service is fast, friendly and competent; the prices are normal and range from $6 to $8 at lunch (11 a.m. to 3 p.m.) and $8 to $12.50 for din-

ner, and everything we tried was very good. I am a noodle fiend, and my two favorite things were the Drunken Noodles with tender, slow-cooked beef with plenty of Thai basil flavor and the Hong Kong Noodles that are pan fried with dark, spicy gravy. Pho-N-Thai Restaurant 125 N. Spruce St. 329-0705 11 a.m. – 8 p.m. daily FREE DELIVERY TO DOWNTOWN, take-out and dine-in. 5 out of 5 delivery guys

Those of us who live near downtown have had a decent Thai food void for a long time. Pho-N-Thai is in a terrible location just west of the Bijou Street Bridge, but their food is authentic and inexpensive, and they have free delivery. The new owners took over a former Yakitori restaurant in the same location three months ago, and the Yakitori menu remains, but they added authentic versions of most of the traditional Thai dishes, as well as good Vietnamese food and, surprisingly, a great Philly steak. S

UCCS participates in annual Festival of Lights Jeremy Lengele The annual Festival of Lights, held in downtown Colorado Springs, is celebrating its 26th year next month, and thanks to the Office of Student Activities (OSA), UCCS students are participating. Each year, people from organizations all over the city build floats to add to the parade. Many belong to non-profits, schools or churches, and this year, one belongs to UCCS. The various creations, all designed to celebrate and communicate the joy of the holiday season, will travel south through downtown, starting at the intersection of Tejon and St. Vrain Streets, on Dec. 5 at 5:50 p.m. The floats in the parade have boasted as many as 3,000 participants in 80 separate entries during previous years, and the numbers aren’t anticipated to decline this year. Coordination for the float entered by UCCS was handled by OSA, as part of the OSA monthly

challenge for the month of November. Students could submit ideas for a float either individually or as part of a group, like a team or club. The last entries were received on Nov. 15, and the selection of the winning design was facilitated the next day by the Visual and Performing Arts Department (VAPA). The criteria for entry were established by OSA. In consideration for the multitude of religious observances during the winter holiday season, non-denominational float designs were required, a rule which aligns with the Festival of Lights’ basic criteria for any floats participating in the parade. The judging of submitted float designs happened on Nov. 16, utilizing members of the VAPA faculty, as well as student leadership. The judging criteria emphasized the overall creativity of submitted designs, as well as adherence to the governing theme set down by OSA – a “Seussical” holiday presentation. In addition to these factors, stu-

dents were given a budget of $800 for construction and were required to provide a design for matching costumes. The first place winner was Nathan Jones, with the float design of Seuss’ famous holiday character, Mr. Grinch, atop his mountain with all the stolen presents, looking down upon Whoville. Following in second place were Paul Wood and Chris Mellott, with a design that combined “Horton Hears a Who” with “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” Michelle Wood, OSA’s coordinator for the float’s construction, said that the top two entries were very close in the judging process; Jones only won out by one vote, because, according to Wood, it stuck more closely to the holiday theme and presented a more realistic construction project, given the amount of time allotted. In third place was Sabrina Chaco, with an idea that morphed the Cat in the Hat into the Boomer in the Hat, along with Thing 1 and Thing 2, all enjoying a holiday by

Photo Courtesy of At the Dr. Seuss Character Reunion this year, the Grinch and the Lorax got into a brawl, and Yurtle the Turtle had to separate them. No one talks about it.

the fire. Jones received as a prize two free tickets to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s performance later in December, and the chance to see his design become a reality at the parade on Dec. 5. The Festival of Lights event is not just a parade; it also provides an increased awareness of local charities. In this year’s case, the charity chosen for the

Festival of Lights is the El Pomar Foundation’s “Fill An Empty Stocking” fund. This fund was established to provide funding benefits for 15 local health and human services agencies such as the American Red Cross’ Pikes Peak Chapter. Such beneficiary funds would be used to assist families in critical need or to assist those less fortunate in achieving a measure of

self-sufficiency. Collections for the charity can be made at the Festival, as well online. Construction of the winning float design began this week, and will continue until just before the parade. Wood notes that any students are welcome to participate in its construction, and, if interested, should contact her at or 719- 237-7438. S


November 30 to December 6

Page 11

Lady Lions defeat national champs Ryan Piechowski The UCCS women’s basketball team experienced both historical highs and dramatic lows during the 2010 Marriot Mountain Lions Thanksgiving Classic at the Gallogly Event Center. With two games during the Thanksgiving holiday, the Lady Mountain Lions looked to begin their season with a much needed win. UCCS kicked off the tournament with a 67-59 loss to the Winona State Warriors on Nov. 26. Despite a second half comeback attempt, the women could not overcome a first half to forget, as they dropped the opening match of the tournament. The lady Mountain Lions missed their first 18 shots from the field en route to an early 22-6 deficit. The team went 5-29 from the field and 0-9 from three point range in the opening 20 minutes before heading in to the locker room looking up at 36-18 deficit. The Mountain Lions regrouped halfway through the game, due in part to a much improved second half shooting percentage and increased defensive intensity; this helped the ladies slowly cut away at the lead. UCCS eventually pulled within five points with one minute left but could get no closer as they suffered their third defeat in a row. Freshman guard Jeri Pikul contributed off the bench with 15 points, shooting 3-5 from behind the arc. Pikul attributed the second half comeback attempt to increased offensive productivity. “In the second half we actually had a sense of urgency and we were pushing the ball up and looking to score. If our defense would have been there more

Photo Courtesy of

Junior Jessica Brown knocks down a jumper against Emporia State Nov. 28 as UCCS defeated the defending national champions 70-67 at the Gallogly Events Center.

I think it would have gone a different way.” UCCS quickly put Friday’s loss behind them with an improbable 70-67 victory over the defending Division-II national champion Emporia State Hornets the following day. It was the first win over a top 10 ranked team in UCCS women’s basketball history. Keeping the score close throughout the first half with aggressive defense and consistent shooting, the Mountain

Lions went in to the locker room at halftime still in the game. The Hornets did their best to shake the feisty Lions in the second half taking a 10 point lead with seven minutes remaining. UCCS continued to play smothering defense, forcing 17 Emporia State turnovers. Sophomore guard Lauren Wolfinger grabbed hold of the offensive reigns to lead an impressive comeback. She had 24 points and five threepointers, while hitting big shots late in the game to grab a one point lead with

34 seconds left. Emporia State missed a couple free-throws which sealed the victory for the Mountain Lions. Wolfinger explained the importance of a win over a team of Emporia State’s caliber, saying, “This win gives us confidence for the future just to know we can play with anyone the rest of the season.” The lady Mountain Lions will aim for continued success Dec. 3 as they take on conference rival Fort Lewis at the Gallogly Event Center. S

NBA’s hypocrisy, ignorance drove Iverson to compete overseas Matthew Crandall As football season surges into the climactically acclaimed and highly anticipated month of December, while playoff and postseason rankings begin to simmer energetically for both the NFL and NCAA venues, basketball season begins to awaken like a sleeping giant. The floodgates of ESPN and similar affiliates begin to downpour headlines of news of what the public and fans need to know. Unfortunately, one small, somewhat mediocre headline I found important and appalling is nothing I would consider beneficial or supportive to the game of basketball. After being absent for nearly a year in the news, Allen Iverson finally emerged from the shadows and made headlines. Since the end of last season, Iverson fell below media radar system-

atically, quickly and in all regards, pretty quietly. Since his departure from the Denver Nuggets after the 2008-09 season, he bounced around from franchise to franchise, including Memphis and Philadelphia, the latter being a return trip to the city where his career began 14 years ago. Iverson played in only 28 games last year; 25 for Philadelphia and a mere three for Memphis. Whether or not his bitter exit from Denver had something to do with his short duration in the NBA last season remains up for debate; he made it clear with the hat trick of games he competed in for Memphis that he didn’t want to be the sixth man off the bench; he wanted to start. Let’s be honest, the kid always had an impenetrable ego and an “it’s that time of the month” attitude which resulted in conflict and friction among coaches and team-

mates, but he always had heart and hunger to compete and win. Where is he now? The man is currently playing for Besiktas Colaturka Istanbul over in Europe. I watched a few highlight clips of his opening debut two weeks ago, and although he scored a respectable 15 points, watching Iverson in that atmosphere was like trying to put a square peg through a round hole; he doesn’t belong there, and it was just awkward, period. Here’s a guy that came from the 1996 NBA draft class, one which produced a dozen of today’s best players in the game including the likes of Kobe Bryant, Stephon Marbury, Steve Nash and Ray Allen. Here’s a man sitting in the NBA’s top ten scoring leaders of all time with 24,368 points and claims right to the league’s 2001 Most Valuable Player Award.

And to add insult to injury, I witnessed one of the lamest television interviews I’ve ever seen during The Colbert Report’s Nov. 15 episode that featured NBA Commissioner David Stern, who blatantly commented the NBA has the best basketball players in the world and the most talented athletes on the planet; yet the league offered no assistance or direction for him to play somewhere, anywhere, and finish off his career successfully, as many have before him. He deserved it, and I find it appalling and somewhat disheartening that he had no choice but to travel and compete in a league that by comparison is nothing more than a junior varsity organization in contrast to where he’s been. The guy is approaching 35 years of age, and I understand in the world of professional basketball, that number equates to an elderly man in need of De-

pends and on his way out in regards to the game itself, but Iverson didn’t deserve to be let go like a fart in the wind. It causes me to marinate the thought that today’s NBA does not honor value, loyalty or credibility anymore. Iverson’s Photo Courtesy of career re- “I wonder, if I got this tattoo removed, sembled the would they let me back into the league?” life cycle of a star: It was much like Stern (who alborn, it shined brightly for ways has a facial expresa decade with vast inten- sion of constipation meets sity and luminosity, and a puckered colon), injusit died violently without a tices like this will continsoul around to intervene. ue to occur. There’s always the Basketball season is unchance he could return derway, but the thought of to the league, but as long one of my childhood iconic as there exists hypocriti- figures playing abroad in cal and ignorant people someone else’s backyard atop the ranks in the NBA just isn’t right. S


Page 12

November 30 to December 6

Senior Kaitlin Frier ends cross-country career on high note with All-RMAC honor Alex Cramer Setting and meeting goals are two very different things. When cross-country senior Kaitlin Frier decided that making the All-RMAC team was a goal she wanted to set, there was no stopping her. Posting a time of 22:35, she placed 16th at the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference Championship in Las Vegas, N.M. Her finish was good enough to garner Third Team All-RMAC. While Frier had made the All-Conference team before in her career, this was the first time she was able to accomplish the feat in cross-ountry rather than track and field. Even though the NCAA North Central Regional race in Wayne, Neb. didn’t end like she would have liked, it didn’t take anything away from her best year as a crosscountry runner. “My RMAC race was

a complete blessing,” said Frier, “I had been waiting all season for a race that felt as good as all the hard work I had been putting in.” Putting in hard work isn’t anything new for Frier, however. Frier has been named All-Academic in both the RMAC and nationally. Currently an English major, she also has a job on top of school and athletics, making time management a must. Last fall she managed to maintain an impressive 3.69 GPA. “I’m going here to get a degree and you want the GPA to look good. Plus if you don’t have a good GPA you can’t run,” said Frier. Like most elite athletes, Frier doesn’t perform at her high level on and off the track without the important people in her life supporting her. When asked who her mentor is, she struggles to choose just one, finding several people worthy of the moniker. “My biggest mentor would be God. In terms of whom I get the most

Photo Courtesy of

Senior Kaitlin Frier finishes up at the RMAC Cross Country Championships.

motivation and inspiration from, it’s him,” said Frier, “Also, my family is obviously really supportive of me, and my coach is great.” Mentors aside, Frier has a competitive side that drives her to win

Men’s golf head into winter break sitting atop RMAC Matthew Crandall In a season that brought UCCS nothing less than two second place finishes, the men’s golf team concluded fall competition with their third tournament win of the season at The Cactus Thaw in Silver City, N.M. on Oct. 19. This launched them to a 26-25 point lead over Fort Lewis and the possibility of a sixth consecutive Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference (RMAC) championship. The men took home a pair of second place finishes at the RMAC/NSIC Crossover and Grand Canyon Fall Invitational, while claiming local and national media attention for back-toback tournament wins at the Peaks Classic and Falcon Invitational at the beginning of the season. UCCS received immense attention and praise after completely dominating the Falcon Invitational by defeating every competing Division-I squad in the

tourney; the men appeared to be an underdog as the only Division-II school participating in the event, but shocked the golf world and sent a resonating message to the conference and nation that they can and will compete with anyone. The Mountain Lions have achieved more success in the first half of the season than most schools will over the course of the entire year and as competition lays dormant until spring, play commences in February. Head Coach Phil Trujillo remains confidently aware that the team will continue to work out and practice as the semester draws to an end with the lengthy holiday break on the horizon. “We have three mandatory days in the weight room and gym for cardio, [and] we have a variety of different workout programs that we use, so we’re constantly mixing it up,” expounded Trujillo. The holiday season may bring forth opportunity for excessive dining with family and friends, which can

prompt a decline in nutrition, but Trujillo believes the men will continue to focus on strength and conditioning. “The team is really committed to being fit, so the workouts are intense,” he further explained. After winter break, the golfers will aim to improve and expand on their perspective short games and begin to exercise hitting balls at the practice range. With a delayed beginning of winter, the Mountain Lions are quite familiar with adapting to cold conditions out on the course and will continue to sharpen their skill sets in all areas of the game. “It’s all about the weather for us,” added Trujillo, “but typically we can get in some solid days of practicing so we can be as prepared as possible going into our first event.” UCCS will begin spring play Feb. 26 through March 1 as they enter the Golf Week D-II Spring Preview in Orlando, Fla. in pursuit of their sixth consecutive RMAC championship and a national championship. S

during any given race. “I’m very competitive. I don’t really know what’d I’d be doing if I wasn’t racing people, because I don’t know how I’d be getting my rage out; maybe tennis,” she added.

Like any long distance runner, Frier has track and field season to look forward to in only a few short months. As a senior, this will be her final chance to compete collegiately, and she’s embracing the opportu-

nity ahead. “I just want to enjoy track to the fullest. It is my last few months of racing collegiately, so I want to have fun, and I want to see just how far I can go. You only get to do this once, right?” S

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opinion An island of plastic bottles makes the world go round

Page 13

November 30 to December 6

Catherine Jensen Had I been able to see into the future when I was eight, I would have joined Reishee Sowa, the man who earned a spot in “Ripley’s Believe it or Not” in 1998 for creating his own island out of plastic bottles and other waste off the coast of Mexico. “We are being faced with a population explosion and maybe building islands is the answer. This island is an example of something that could be built worldwide. You could be totally self sufficient with it. All is as natural as possible. I catch rain water for showers, the toilet naturally composts, and you can grow your own produce,”

he said. Sowa used 250,000 bottles to build a 66- by 54-foot island. Since then we’ve witnessed the rise of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a vortex of floating trash (much of which is plastic) in the North Pacific Gyre. It stretches from the coast of California to Japan, and it’s estimated to be at least twice the size of Texas, as well as boasting other atrocities to our oceans and land. According to the Ocean Conservancy report, scientists working in oceanic studies have estimated that it takes 450 years for a plastic bottle to decompose in the ocean. That means that given that the first plastic bottle to be commercially used and thrown into the ocean was in 1947, that very first bottle still has until 2397 to decompose. Given the way people (especially in the Western world) continue to live, if there are people on this earth in 200 years, they will not be living as we do. This is because if we con-

tinue to live the way we are, consuming faster than we can produce and with little to no regard for other life, we won’t be here in 200 years. Roll your eyes all you like at my “sustainability talk,” but if you consider that all the plastic ever made is still around and continues to leak toxic waste into the water that your great grand children will end up drinking and becoming terminally ill from someday, listen for just a moment. Biodiversity is important not only because the more species of animals, plants, coral and insects there are, the more access we have to food and medicine for disease, but also because the life on this earth provides us with free services. A few include: Protection of water resources, soils formation and protection, nutrient storage and recycling, pollution breakdown and absorption and the maintenance of ecosystems – you know, those environments comprised of organisms, air, water and light which


we are a part of. Forget what “survival of the fittest” told you; Darwin is to be accepted as a historical figure and recognized for his discovery of new species but not to be taken literally. Let’s change the competitive, egotistical thinking imbedded within survival of the fittest and concentrate instead on how we in fact are dependent on every living thing around us. Recycling and turning out your lights whenever you leave a room may not seem like much. The truth, though, is that electric power uses non-renewable energy fuel and it pollutes the air we breathe. The smoke generated from burning fuels like natural gas, oil, coal and gasoline is one of the major causes of greenhouse effect which increases the temperature of our planet. The recent typhoons, flash flooding and landslides all over the world are side effects of the melting of huge icebergs from the North and South Pole.

In addition to lowering your electric bill, turning off the lights when you leave a room decreases the power demand for electricity. The reduction of unnecessary heat lessens the temperature of the globe. It reduces the burning of fossil fuel, thus limiting the emission of air pollutants to our environment. Non-renewable energy is irreplaceable and irretrievable and the faster we consume it, the greater problem we are imposing on the whole world’s economy. It is a universal responsibility for each and every one of us to help preserve our natural resources. We like to think that humans are part of a separate and higher order than the rest of the living community. This kind of thinking cannot continue and is literally going to kill us if we don’t get rid of it. Earthworms are more important to the life of this planet than humans are, and if earthworms disappear, we will follow soon after. It’s

vital that we realize that we are members of a community, and that all forms of life within that community from the smallest bug to the grass beneath our feet are part of that community. We cannot exist apart from the earth. As Chief Seattle stated in his letter to the American government in the 1800’s, “This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.” We are not custodians of the earth. In fact, it takes care of itself and did so successfully for billions of years before the appearance of humans. We need all life from the smallest seed to the largest animal if we are to survive, but the earth doesn’t need us in turn. Part of our survival means respecting the the earth and being mindful of our relations with all life. S

I need your help. It so happens that I am a 21 year-old virgin. I accept that many consider my virginity a virtue, however, I am quite viral with a voracious desire to vent my frustration in a venue that will void my current predicament. I have arrived at third base on two occasions, once with my high school girlfriend, and once with a one-night-stand, but never seem to make it past that point. I am by no means socially awkward, I just cant seem to seal the deal, and I am beginning to lose hope that anyone will come to my rescue.


Dear baseball fanatic,

Aw, what?! I can’t publish his name!? Fine. This week, I’m trying something new. (Congratulations on being the guinea pig for this experiment.) You see, I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather these past couple days, and in my weakened state, I can’t think of any advice for you. From the sounds of it, you’re doing everything right, and you’re just getting stuck with the wrong ladies. Don’t blame yourself. Now, as stated earlier, I am low on creative ways to solve your problem (I think some of my ideas are illegal in Alaska.) But fret not, because the internet is always bursting with ideas. And really, is there a better place for advice than Yahoo! Answers? I think not! Let’s see what some posters were ready to offer you…

I could mock your situation and tell you to grow some. I could also tell you to find yourself a nice “clean” hooker. Heck, I could even give you my number. But I won’t do any of these. For one, if your balls hadn’t already dropped you definitely wouldn’t be getting a whiff of third base, let alone a few sultry minutes at first. And clearly you are a man of virtue, perhaps even one with a catholic school background, so a hooker, while convenient, will probably break every moral code you’ve ever known or attempted to live by. Then there’s me, and for the sake of keeping this relatively PG, I digress. Instead, you should flaunt your virginity. Casually bring it up around girls you find attractive and believe are sexually experienced. Let the whole world know. Because the thing is, it’s nothing to be ashamed about, and I guarantee more than a few girls will want to conquer you. If that doesn’t work, you are left with two options. You can lose it to a drunk, horny girl who doesn’t matter for the sake of handing over the infamous V-card, or you can wait. Don’t worry though, the concept of waiting isn’t synonymous with forever. And I’m certainly not telling you to wait until marriage. Quite on the contrary, you just need to find the right girl. She needs to be a girl who effortlessly balances a prude side with some kinky tendencies. Bottom line, the problem isn’t you, it’s the girls you’re interested in. Granted, a first date won’t tell you if she’ll be willing to take it on the coffee table, but if she hesitates to kiss you and never makes the first move, you might want to lower your future expectations. Whatever you do, though, don’t give up, and don’t forget to continue to brag about your virginity as much as possible. In the end, if you are as confident and loquacious as you seem, then this will be an enticing, if not a rewarding element to play with…in bed. -Jessica Lynch

PimpBerries’ Ghost: It’s kind of like hunting, imagine you are a lion on the Serengeti; you see your prey, stalk it, and then you strike! Oh this is good, because when you later tell her this story, you can work this scenario into your foreplay! d_antonio11: Dude.. you need to whack yourself privately... what do you think you have hands for? while choking the chicken, sing ‘Super Mario... Super MAARRRRIIOO!!!!!” Now obviously I was kidding including this on the list…or was I? It’s Not What It Is But It sure Will Be: get a prostitude If you can find a “prostitude” than apparently it will provide you solace. Oh wait, a prostiTUTE? Oh hell no dude, don’t go that route. Annie: Im always ready lolz...^_^ =] Ding ding ding! Winner! ...I’m man enough to admit that those weren’t the best answers…except the Super Mario one, because that one was definitely the cream of the crop. You want real advice? Here it is: don’t rush anything. You’re stressing over something that you need to relax about. When you’re meant to punch in that VCard, it will happen. Does this sound like an after-school special? Well, it should. Man, those things got everything right. -JD Osorio

Have a question about relationships, love Email your query to the Devious Duo at

opinion November 30 to December 6

Page 14

The failure of all men

Jessica Lynch As the story goes, men hate to ask for directions. In fact, they would rather cut off their right arms, trail blood along the side of the highway and revert to the call of the wild before asking for assistance. Telling a man to pull over at a gas station for help is the equivalent of kicking him in the balls and then, as he lies cringing at your feet, telling him he throws like a girl. Therefore, the story remains, men believe they are God’s compass to the world. And women, well, we’re supposed to be smarter than that. Tuesday morning I awoke unnaturally and in hindsight, stupidly, confident in my navigational skills. I was just trying to find a hotel near DIA to park my car. How hard could it be, really? Hello, foolish mistake number one. Mistake number two occurred shortly after. It began with a carefully noted address and MapQuest. And so, the first 50 minutes flew by; I drank a half-frozen protein shake I found in the backseat of my car, I listened to my favorite songs and I sang passionately – if off-key – until my chest hurt from Rihanna’s “Only Girl in

the World.” Stupid. But not nearly as stupid as taking Exit 16 to Jewell Street. I made a quick right and soon I was in the hinterlands. I was in God’s forsaken land where the only things worth commenting on are how dusty the dirt roads are, and if the incessant sound of distant airplanes will ever end. As someone who regularly frequents the bathroom, I shouldn’t have been surprised by the uncomfortable, leg-clinching need to pee that attacked me shortly after. These things are to be expected when one is lost and running late. I made two more Uturns before pulling into a gas station somewhere near a military base in somewhere near Denver. But not really, because I have no idea where I was. I should have asked the nice man who held the door open for directions. Instead I gave him a pained I-reallyneed-to-pee-or-I’d-be-awhole-lot-nicer-to-youso-please-don’t-hate-me smile, and scurried – yes, scurried – to the bathroom. Note to future self: Just because your bladder is empty does not mean you will suddenly sprout a GPS system like tufts of hair from an elderly man’s saggy ears. And while it is a liberating feeling, your problems remain problems. Before hauling butt out of the parking lot, I should have sat and reflected briefly on my childhood. If I had, I would have realized that directions will never be my strong suit. Memories of my father

quizzing me on geography as I sweated with consternation in the back seat would have formed before my eyes. Thinking about it now, I think he liked to watch me fail. Had I thought about this, I would have marched back into the gas station. But again, it was my directional vendetta; I was out to prove a point, by losing my way. Minutes later, I was on the phone with my Dad. I was a failure, I was going to miss my flight, I was going to spend Thanksgiving alone, in my bed, wrapped up in a blanket because the heat would obviously have gone out, and I would be forced to eat cold tomato soup in front of a TV that doesn’t work. But still, I faked optimism and I told my dad I was nearing the airport. Apparently he could smell my fear and fresh tears through the phone because he offered me but a few directions. Soon, I was on my way, but this time, in the right direction. When I touched the solid ground of the airport parking lot, I nearly wept. I danced in place. I raised my palms to the air and I scoffed at my pathetic need for help. I vowed to never ask again. I promised to do it all myself next time. Stupid. I guess in five years when I’m flying home for Christmas, I’ll just have to miss my flight, spend a night on the floor of the airport and be hit on by a homeless man to truly learn from my past mistakes. Awesome. S

Photo Courtesy of Google Maps

Look very closely at step number 43, and see what you must do for that 782 kilometers.

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Correction Some information in the column, “Corruption in the ranks of CU Boulder,” by Steve Farrell, published two weeks ago in Volume 35, Issue 12, was erroneous and warrants some correction and clarification. Dan Hawkins, former coach of the CU Buffalos, was recently paid a $1.8 million settlement at the premature termination of his contract with the team. Mr. Farrell egregiously stated, from information contained in a Denver Post letter to the editor, that this payoff was awarded from student tuition funds. In actuality, Hawkins’ contract severance award was paid from revenue generated by the athletic department, including concessions and ticket sales, according to the Daily Camera, a Boulder newspaper. CU President Bruce Benson clarified, ““It’s not tuition paying for it, and it’s not state funding.” There are concerns about the buyout being misunderstood among the general public. “Given the very dire straits facing the academic side of the university,” said Joseph Rosse, a professor of business and chair of the Boulder Faculty Assembly at CU, “we are certainly concerned about misperceptions that the university can afford a $2 million buyout.” Some speculate that Hawkins’ removal will actually increase the team’s support, inspiring more boosters to donate funds in the face of a hopefully less dysfunctional environment and attitude among the players. While The Scribe regrets the mistake, Mr. Farrell makes no apologies for his previous statements regarding Hawkins’ actions and character. “I will not retract any statement previously made by me,” said Farrell, “with regard to what I think of Mr. Hawkins and his lack of integrity for accepting such an enormous amount of money having failed at his duties. I firmly stand by what I said of him being a ‘villain’ for this.”



“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.” -Student Press Law Center

Royal sex tape creates a worldwide stir methodically removed their clothing, folded it and placed it neatly off to the side. Middleton, of course, left her pearls on. They climbed into the royal bed and commenced shagging. They assumed the missionary position like good British royals should. Then – silence. For 20 minutes, they lay there quietly with barely detectable movement under the sheets. Middleton stared at the ceiling while William stared at the headboard. Eventually, William let out a grunt and exclaimed, “Oh dear, I’m going to come!” After which, they lay quietly

Cherise Fantus A scandal has erupted in Britain, which has rocked the entire world this week. A sex tape has been released, featuring Britain’s most beloved Prince, William, and his fiancée, Kate Middleton. The tape came on the heels of the announcement of their engagement. The tape started with William asking Middleton, “May I touch your bum?” To which she replied, “Oh, please do!” After a quick kiss and bum squeeze, they both

The news in brief

Comm. student realizes she has no future

A communications major suffered a mental breakdown in the UC near Jazzman’s Monday. When senior Amanda Naylor realized she had no future, she suddenly started screaming and ripping at her hair. “I just suddenly realized that I’ve been completely wasting my time in comm. What can I possibly do with a comm. degree?” she said. She had chosen communications initially because it was easy, and she likes dealing with people. Now she realizes that it is completely worthless, and it’s too late to follow another path. “I guess I’ll be a communications teacher,” she said. S

No heat this winter: students hope for a warm one In yet another attempt to cut costs, UCCS administration has decided to cut back on electricity. They have opted not to turn on the heat during the winter months. “Heating all of the buildings is one of our largest costs,” said Chancellor Pat Shocker-Zanzabar. Students are asked to dress accordingly: wear sweaters, parkas, hats and mittens. Hobostyle trash can fires are expected to become commonplace inside the buildings, especially in the dorms. Students should make sure to monitor their fires and not use any accelerators, like lighter fluid or gasoline, in order to keep the buildings as safe as possible. S

Free drinks will get you to second base

Along with the new pat-down procedures, TSA will now be offering drinks to those subjected to the invasive pat downs. Billy Hartsell, a TSA employee said, “I always have to get girls drunk before they’ll let me feel them up.” TSA came up with the idea after hearing so many complaints about the new procedure. In an effort to make passengers feel more comfortable, they decided to offer them drinks. Before being patted down, passengers are taken into a designated lounge, where they are allowed up to three complimentary drinks to loosen them up. “The pat downs have been much easier – and more fun!” said Hartsell. S

Sorority protests topless After hearing about Ukranian women protesting topless in Kiev, one UCCS sorority decided to follow their lead. Tau Iota Tau held their protest Saturday in front of the dorms. Their signs read: “Look at my chest,” “I need attention,” “My daddy didn’t love me enough” and “My daddy loved me too much.” They drew a large crowd, mostly comprised of males taking pictures with their cell phones. The protest only lasted about 15 minutes before all protesters were arrested for indecent exposure. What they were actually protesting is still unclear.

-Cherise Fantus

for a few moments. Middleton politely thanked him for generously sharing his John Thomas with her. Then they showered, got dressed and finally turned off the camera. The royal family is utterly disgusted and embarrassed by this disgrace. Prince Charles has said that the sort of raunchy sex displayed in the video is very unbecoming of a British Prince. Reactions have been varied. Chelsea Chamberlain, a sophomore who moved here from England last year said, “I can’t believe a British Royal had sex, let alone made a video of it! Bloody hell, I saw his bollocks!”

Photo Courtesy of

The Reaction Guys are utterly disappointed with Prince William’s recent scandalous sex video. They demand that someone pull more adequate hijinks.

Freshman Eric Brown, however, was not shocked in the least. “If that’s what sex is like, I’ll never bother losing my virginity,” he said, “I think I actually dozed off for awhile in the middle,


Things to make out of paper mâché

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

An aritificial individual selfgratification device.

A pet to keep you lonely in your lonely, pathetic house. A date - Be careful when lighting the candles.

The sweet Hollister clothes you can’t afford - You’ll smell like glue instead of douchebag.

A magic wand.

A weed card. Oh, wait, we mean, “medicinal marijuana prescription liscense.” A bong. See above.

A fedora - They’re so in right now! A diploma - It may be the only way you’ll ever get one.

A piñata of your mom - All of your friends have already hit that, anyway.

-Scribe Staff

or maybe they did, I can’t really be sure.” The ordeal has created a huge rift within the royal family. Some are saying that Middleton is a bad influence, and William should not wed

her. They feel that sex is an abominable practice reserved only for the depraved peasants. Others have clapped him on the back for performing the crazy deeds that they never could. S

Wild turkeys seen, like, seriously!

Photo Courtesy of

In Soviet Russia, turkey eats you!

Jessica Lynch A flock of turkeys was seen grazing outside Columbine Hall last week, reported a few students stuck in the dorms over Thanksgiving break. Sophomore Billy Highsdale said, “They were just pecking around and then they started doing this crazy, synchronized dance thing,” he giggled. Public Safety deemed the turkeys dangerous a few days later. Students were warned to lock their doors and those living on the ground level to keep all windows fully closed. Chief of Police George Salt explained, “We never actually saw the turkeys, but our students don’t lie. They are the smartest class this school has ever seen.” He furthered, “Highsdale and Marijude, the freshmen who first spotted the birds, looked like they had been crying for days. Poor kids, all alone on Thanksgiving.” According to Marijude, “These things were huge. Like, we were all so scared

and a couple of the turkeys chased us around campus. It was like, there I was, going in slow motion and I kept thinking they were going to get us but then like, they somehow didn’t. I spent the whole week in my friend’s dorm room for safety.” While wild flocks of turkeys are rarely seen in Colorado Springs, Salt advises all returning students to pay close attention to their surroundings and not be caught in a dark alley with a turkey. A demonstration will be held Wednesday to teach students what to do when face-to-face with a flock of wild turkeys. Fake feathers and red paint should be purchased and stored in a safe location; a pamphlet detailing the migrating patterns and mating behaviors will also be provided on Wednesday for interested students. Although there have been no reported sightings since Friday, the turkeys are expected to re-appear near the end of this week. If seen, students should call public safety at 555-8765309 and run quickly in the opposite direction. S

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Nov. 30, 2009  

Volume 35. Issue 13

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