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October 19 to October 25, 2010 [Volume 35; Issue 7]


A guide to this year’s Haunted Houses

(pages 8 & 9)

Inside this issue...

Punk rock hit the Springs (page 7)

Denver hosts annual Zombie Crawl (page 6) Marisa miller: perfect for the nfl? (page 12)

editorial The ulterior motives of the scribe candy and costumes

October 19 to October 25

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Editor-in-Chief Avalon Manly Ancient Greece had mastered the art of the status quo. Women in Greece ran the home. They were, on the whole, less educated: their options, therefore, were fewer; their autonomy, diminished. While some held political and social sway, most interacted almost exclusively with their families and fellows in their own smaller domestic spheres of influence. Humans everywhere are averse to restriction, especially the constraints placed upon us by others. Naturally, the women of Greece required some catharsis of their daily lives, some opportunity to purge their social frustrations. To this purpose, the women of Ancient Greece had the cults of Dionysus. Dionysus, called Bacchus by the Romans, is commonly considered as the god of wine – but his patronage extended far beyond the boundaries of fermented drinks. Dionysus was the god of ecstasy. He ruled the landscapes of abandon. His were the actions of excess, the lapses of reason, the derailments of prudency, propriety and inhibition. Dionysus was the god of the wilderness that exists inside each of us, and, wherever excess existed, there he was, as well. He was fierce and unpredictable, the rival of reason but, at the same time, not a villain. He was closer to a force of nature than a personified individual; like a storm, he was merciless and raging, unrestrained, primal and beyond the everyday. The Dionysian mystery cults were comprised almost exclusively of women. His

followers were the Maenads – the Bacchae, in Rome. Their festivals are shrouded in rumor and what we know of them is gathered largely from artistic representations of their goings-on, but all accounts recall woodland music, dance and the use of intoxicating substances. In some cases, the festivals entailed such a complete loss of touch with oneself that the women tore live animals apart. Dionysian festivals occurred several times a year, so far as we can tell, and may have lasted for days at a time. They were times when those who existed day-today on the margins of society – foreigners, women, slaves, disenfranchised men – could throw off the yoke of their social restrictions and celebrate the animal inside, that roaring beast that would threaten the stability of their everyday existence if perpetually denied satiation. The cults, therefore, served as a form of social control. Allowing those people who felt the most consistently oppressed the chance to blow off steam, to put it mildly, made them more productive members of the society in which they lived. The festivals served to keep them contented and moderate, confining their fits of excess to specifically limited spans of time and space. They kept the status quo. Though cults are fewer, contemporary social celebrations serve much the same functions. When I was a kid, my church always celebrated Harvest Festivals in lieu of Halloween. I think those were attempts to depart from the culture surrounding the holiday, and allow us as children to celebrate from without the secular sphere. Truth be told, though, a harvest festival is closer to the truth of the day than the common way it’s celebrated. Halloween began, by most accounts, in the land of the Celts. This time of year stands with one foot in summer and one foot in winter, and is the end of what, in agricultural civilizations,

would have been the effective end of harvest time. The Celtic people called it Samhain, and embraced the advent of winter with a feast. They believed that this time between seasons made thin the veil between worlds, and the ghosts of their departed could return to prowl among them, seeking fresh victims to abduct back to the world of the dead. To disguise themselves from these ghouls, they wore costumes through the night, so they might blend in with the walking dead. Samhain, like many other pagan holidays, was rapidly Christianized upon the conversion of Britain, which began late in the sixth century. The ancient Celtic traditions of costumes and carving squash sentinels to guard their doorways were blended with the Catholic Hallowmass, All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day, as well as the Roman festival, Feralia, to create the Halloween we know today. Halloween is the predominately-beloved holiday of our age group. High school and college kids wait for late October with bated breath, planning parties, antics and costumes sometimes for months in advance. Then, for 24 hours, we get to leave the world in which we exist each day and enter into a landscape of costumes, candy, celebration and revelry. No matter what goes on on Halloween, the real world reemerges the next day, ready to take us back into its stable breast. During a constrained period of time, we exercise our wildness, assured not only by its widespread social participation, but also by its temporary nature. We know it cannot last forever, and so we enjoy it all the more. Holidays like Halloween, that turn the real world in upon itself, are just like Dionysian festivals: they reinforce the status quo, they allow citizens from every strata of society to equalize and celebrate on the same tier, they purge our social frustrations and send us back to the real world refreshed, and ready to exist again inside its stable boundaries.

The official student newspaper of the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs

Editor-in-Chief.........................................Avalon Manly Managing Editor........................................Jessica Lynch Business Manager................................Robert Rodriguez Advertising/Sales Manager..........................Luis Hidalgo News Editor.........................................Catherine Jensen Culture Editor.........................................Brock Kilgore Athletics Editor......................................Matt Crandall Opinion/Scribble Editor..............................Jasen Cooper Photograhy Editor.................................Ariel Lattimore Copy Editor.............................................Cherise Fantus Web Designer...........................................Dorian Rogers Layout Designers..........................................J.D. Osorio ....................................................................Shreya Raj Reporters...................................................Alex Cramer Photographers.....................................Carrie Woodruff ...........................................................Chelsea Bartlett .............................................................Michelle Wood Junior Reporters.........................................J.P. Niehaus .................................................................Amanda Putz ................................................................Kristin Garst ............................................................Ryan Piechowski ...................................................................Amy Koumis ...................................................................Ryan Adams ...............................................................Corey Mensing .....................................................Wellington Mullings Contributors...........................................Steven Farrell Cartoonist............................................................Arno Distributor...........................................Donald Trujillo Advisor.....................................................Laura Eurich ------------Cover photo courtesy of Scribe UC 106 (719) 255-3658 | (719) 255-3469 | (719) 255-3600 |

Information Letters to the Editor The Scribe strongly encourages letters to the editor. Letters intended for publication must not exceed 350 words, must be legible and include the writer’s name and contact information. Letters must be submitted to The Scribe via email at by 5:00 p.m. on Thursdays before publication. The Scribe reserves the right to reject letters to the editor that are libelous, obscene or anonymous and has the right to edit as necessary due to space limitations, spelling or other grammatical errors and AP style guidelines. Distribution Policy The following conducts are prohibited by The Scribe: Publication and news rack theft. A person commits the offense(s) of publication and/or news rack theft when he or she willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than one copy of any edition of a publication distributed on or off campus (a “publication” is any periodical that is distributed on a complimentary basis). Any person who commits these offences is responsible for compensating The Scribe for any reasonable costs incurred, including, where appropriate, the refunding of advertising fees. Archives Additional copies of the current publication volume are available in The Scribe’s office. The Scribe keeps issues from the past five volumes for internal use only. The Office of University Records will handle any request for additional issues from the past five years and before. Advertising If you, your club, organization or business wishes to advertise with The Scribe, please call (719) 255-3469 or email

The Scribe wants you! Interested in writing, photography or business and advertising? Email or call (719) 255-3658 for details.

student life

October 19 to October 25

all aboard



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That’s not pee, that’s drool -- hey, I think she’s dead! Ghouls and ghosts and vampires, oh my! In lieu of trick or treating, a Milwaukee man will be spending his Halloween in jail. Justin Owen has been accused of and recently indicted for firing shots into 58-year-old Marzella Woodson’s house near 16th Stree and Hadley Avenue. Woodson’s medical records show her death to be directly attributed to the emotional fear caused by Owen’s actions. Initially charged with second degree reckless homicide, after admitting his careless behavior, the charges have been lessened to a charge of negligent handling of a weapon. Who knew that bucket you kicked was full of fear and a subsequent death? I’ll toast to that. Care to join me?

Test Anxiety Workshop

Due to an insatiable love for and obsession with toast, it is of no surprise that this week’s for the win would involve the toasty treat. Let’s imagine, for a minute, that toast isn’t a morning staple for you. Let’s say, for arguments sake, your day begins with the newspaper, or a prayer to Jesus, a peace sign or maybe even a satirical headline from the Onion. The Scan Toaster will allow you, the consumer, to eat toast imprinted with any number of these. The device connects to the internet via USB and is capable of printing images or text directly to your bread. Using a flexible “module” heated by a wire, each module moves 30 degrees vertically to burn the design. Talk about a holy breakfast.

On Wed. at noon, join the Counseling Center for a workshop on how to dinimish the apprehension many students experience when faced with exams. It is open to students, faculty and staff and is the first of a three-part series; the second and third are $5 each, but this one is free. It should last about 90 minutes. Contact Dave Richardson at counsel@ for details.


“I learned three important things in college - to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes.” -- Agnes Demille

Fill out the sudoku puzzle below so that each row and column contain the numbers 1 through 9 with none repeated. Return it and the adjacent crossword to the Scribe office when finished; if you’re the first one done (and they’re done right), you’ll be entered into aPuzzle drawing two 1 (Very hard,for difficulty ratingfree 0.89) tickets to the Haunted Mines.

Halloween Hocus-Pocus 1







8 9



8 3






13 14

4 7






4 6 7

5 3




8 9









Generated by on Wed Oct 13 03:31:31 2010 GMT. Enjoy!


ACROSS 1 The one time of year you're expected to dress this way 3 The only thing you're allowed to carve this month 6 This is the only time you're allowed to take this from strangers 8 What you hope isn't hiding in your Milky Way 11 What you used as a little kid to replace your real teeth 12 The only beverage you'll drink briefly instead of alcohol 13 Last Saturday they crawled in Denver, few survived 14 What every Twilight fan will be wearing even when its not Halloween night 15 What your church celebrated instead of Halloween

DOWN 2 What you'll get after a week of eating skittles for breakfast, lunch and dinner 4 What the "cool" kids put their candy in 5 The last minute touch to any gruesome costume 7 The only time conservative springs celebrate and decorate for the presence of ghosts 9 The professionals that make the most the week after Halloween 10 You bob for them, big freaking whoop

news October 19 to October 25

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Black Student Union reaches out through dance Corey Mensing

event hopes to establish a positive relationship between students and the black community through shared knowledge and experience. The event is also part of an effort to re-launch BSU. “We would really like this to be a big event, we’re trying to rebrand our image and let people know we’re part of our campus,” said Hadley. The club fosters an environment where people who are black and people who are not black can feel comfortable at UCCS. The event’s keynote speaker will be Stephany Spaulding and her speech will outline the course she teaches called the History of Hip hop. After her speech, an open discussion On Friday, Oct. 15, the Black Student Union will use food, dance, free t-shirts and keynote speakers to address common misconceptions involving the hip hop culture while re-establishing their identity in the UCCS community. The free event will be held between 7:00-9:00 p.m. in the University Center and students are encouraged to erase and reverse negative stereotypes and embrace the history of Hip hop. Whitley Hadley, the vice president of the Black Student Union (BSU) says the event will address what is true and untrue about Hip hop. The

about Hip-hop and its effects on people’s lives will be held. Dance performances will include UCCS’ Unique and Cypher Diapers. Unique will perform different components of Hip hop to demonstrate how differently it can be perceived. Cypher Diapers performed earlier this year at the Foam Dance party “They’re pretty silly and fun to watch,” said Hadley. The event will feature free food from an African catering service. The food, which is based on African cuisine, will be explained by the caterer at the event. The club will also be accepting donations to help fund a club trip to the B12 conference in Missouri. The B12 conference brings

Photo by Michelle Wood The Black Student Union met to plan their hip-hop culture event

BSU clubs from around the country together to learn from and talk to about common issues faced on campus. Courses and lectures on leadership, community, effectively reaching out and fostering a support-

ive environment are offered to help BSU grow and become a significant part of UCCS. BSU meets the second Thursday of each month. To be added to the mailing list, contact S

Energy conference predicts jobs for engineering, business students J.P. Niehaus On Oct. 14, Energy Innovations for our Future was held at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort to discuss an issue that has long been on the minds of Colorado Springs residents. The importance and necessity of clean energy was presented, and the growing availability of jobs in this industry was further highlighted. The conference was sponsored by Colorado Springs Utilities and Colorado Springs Regional Economic Corporation. Clean and Green Technology for renewable and zero emission energy is a consistently expanding field. For engineering and business students at UCCS, this signifies an increase in job opportunities. Colorado Springs has

Photo by Carrie Woodruff

Scott Harvey of Art of Engineering explained at the conference that the need for sustainable, renewable energy will do nothing but increase.

not typically been at the forefront of going green. Unlike other major cities, the importance of green energy has been a slow,

but steady change. Public support and the resources to effectively implement a real change have been difficult to acquire.

STUDY ABROAD: What is it?

How can I experience it?

Monday, October 25, from 5:30 – 7:00 pm Location: UC 116 Studying abroad can be a life-changing experience. Come learn what it means to study abroad and how to make it happen. Learn how to use your current financial aid package, find scholarships to study abroad and receive academic credit. interested? Contact: Center for Global Education: Amy Hill Phone: 255-3065 Email:

However, as explained at the conference, “… we as a city can choose to be leaders and embrace green technology and renewable energy as the future or we can fall behind, either way, 100 percent clean and green energy is on the way.” Another speaker, Scott Harvey, from Art of Engineering, reinforced the importance of this change. “Someday in the future we will have to be 100 percent renewable energy. We must be deliberate and dedicated to get there as soon as practical. The desired outcome for our group would include ownership of clean energy sys-

tems by the citizens of the region, including both the generation facilities and the energy resource.” Green energy is on the rise; it is the energy of the future and it is a needed transition, not just because oil fields worldwide are nearly depleted, but because renewable energy is a healthier, smarter option. One policy, the seventh generation concept, focuses on the needs of the later generations. As elaborated by Harvey, “The members of the Green Cities Coalition invite each of you to become the heroes that create the systems that will sustain the needs and environment of the seventh

generation of our children to come.” “Our mission is to enhance and support conservation and renewable energy efforts in the Pikes Peak region.” The group wants to see one percent clean, sustainable energy via any and all available methods with no emissions as well as stabilize costs through ownership of the systems and resources. When it comes to the community, they only ask one thing: support of “zero environmental degradation.” By backing these efforts the transition to clean energy will be a much quicker, more efficient process. S


For more information, shoot an email to


October 19 to October 25

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Energy Service Corps helps The news in brief to improve power in Springs Eigth annucal Campus Sustainability Day

Kristin Garst With the growing need for energy conservation, UCCS students, in a partnership with CoPIRG (Colorado Public Interest Research Group) and AmeriCorps, are striving to make a difference on campus and in the community. “We are in an energy crisis. The way we use energy is dirty and unsustainable,” said Briana Carlin, Energy Service Corps’ UCCS campus organizer. Energy Service Corps is a joint project of CoPIRG and AmeriCorps; UCCS’ chapter will target low-income housing through projects such as weatherization and several educational projects for children. Energy Conservation Week, put on by Energy Service Corps, began Oct. 18 and will continue through Oct. 23. A talking compact fluorescent light bulb (CFL) is set to appear on campus during the week. There will also be a walking canvas tour taking place, and students will be able to sign a pledge to be energy efficient. By doing so, students will make their mark on the traveling canvas. On Saturday, Energy Service Corps hopes to hold a press conference on campus with possible appearances by members of the administration, the Student Government Association and the City Council. After energy week, the educational projects and


weatherization projects will continue. The campus club hopes to continue eliciting understanding of and knowledge surrounding the Energy Service Corps. Jenn Engstrom, program director of Energy Service Corps, stated, “Our vision is to educate the Colorado Springs community about energy efficiency and how to save money through community service, workshops and kindergarten through 12th grade education programs.” With funding from AmeriCorps and CoPIRG, the organization hopes to fulfill their vision by helping people who do not have the resources to make their homes energy efficient. Service projects, like changing regular light bulbs to CFL’s and showing the owners how to save up to 30 percent on their utility bills, are just some of the ways the club plans to impact the community. According to Engstrom, “It’s about people making a tangible difference right then and there.” Furthermore, Engstrom said that places such as churches and the Pioneer Museum will be weatherized. Education is also a priority for the Energy Service Corps and as Carlin stated, “We hope to have 1,500 school-aged children educated by the end of the year. This semester alone we are hoping to reach 750 kids.” She continued by explaining the importance of traveling around the state to educate school-aged


Wednesday, Oct. 20, is also the Eighth Annual National Campus Sustainability Day, and the first one in which UCCS will participate. During the celebration, tours will be offered of campus’ LEED-certified buildings (The Science and Engineering Building and Recreation Center among them). There will also be an open house at the Office of Sustainability, a panel on the Net Impact of careers in sustainability as well as, in the UC, the possible calculations of UCCS’ carbon footprint, according to Office of Sustainability Events and Volunteer Coordinator Michelle Kissler, who is also the President of UCCS’ chapter of Net Impact, a global network that works of educate business leaders about the social and economic sustainability.


10/20 Conversation with the Chancellor

On Wednesday at 2:30 p.m., the first “Conversation with the Chancellor” will take place in University Center, room 302. Chancellor Pam Shockley-Zalaback will present attending students, staff and faculty with an overview of current issues across campus, likely including enrollment increases and the chancellor’s ambition to hoist UCCS to the position of number one regional comprehensive research university in the nation, as well as the overall organizational effectiveness of the university to date this year. Reminiscent of British Parliament’s “Question Time,” her address will conclude with an open floor, during which students can ask Shockley-Zalabak anything about UCCS or their time here. S

UCCS Student fights asthma, wins

Photos courtesy of The Energy Service Corps seeks to improve general knowldge about energy by working with young adults in classrooms and the real world.

children. Energy Service Corps hopes to use crafts and games to facilitate the learning process and incite excitement about energy conservation. Numerous volunteer positions are available and some of these

Accidents happen–but there is no need to panic

could potentially lead to an internship opportunity, or even a minimumtime membership with the organization. For more information Briana Carlin at Briana. S

That’s why we have emergency contraception (EC). EC can prevent pregnancy up to five days after unprotected sex. It’s safe and effective, but the sooner you take it, the better.

Walk or bike to UCCS 2 bedroom, 2 car garage w/ fireplace, deck all appliances including washer & dryer Extra storage in garage

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24/7 info at 1-888-292-8490 x0035 More pics at AnitaSellsPikesPeak. com The Masters RE Group

3480 Centennial Blvd. when you bring in this ad (one per person).

Get EC to go and keep at home - just in case.

UCCS freshman, David Lightfoot, has used his struggle with asthma to make a difference in the lives of others. Lightfoot is one of ten scholarship recipients, explained, Gentry Lassiter, Elderman on behalf of Merck, to earn the “Will to Win” award. The scholarship is given to outstanding high school seniors who demonstrate excellence in both school and in their daily lives while handling setbacks caused by asthma. Most recently, Lightfoot founded a nonprofit organization for underprivileged children around the world. In high school, Lightfoot pushed through personal difficulties with asthma to propose and then organize a soccer camp for the children of Honduras. S

Efforts to lengthen time between classes squelched

Efforts to lengthen time between classes squelched In an Oct. 8 meeting between faculty assembly members, extending the passing time between classes was discussed. Concern from students, professors and instructors influenced David Moon, senior associate vice chancellor, to propose a change to the group. Many times, students who work, or have families or need child care services, struggle to make it to classes on time due to the limited time given. While discussion will continue, the ten minute break is unlikely to lengthen to the proposed fifteen. Psychology professor Robert Durham suggested altering the shuttle schedule to better accommodate commuters. While no major changes resulted, communication between faculty members and students was stressed. Faculty members are urged to accommodate students unable to make it to class on time due to unavoidable circumstances and students are encouraged to rearrange travel plans and avoid distractions in an effort to not be late. S

- Scribe Staff


Denver Zombie Crawl anticipates recordbreaking numbers this weekend Page 6

Catherine Jensen For four years, Denver and Manitou Springs have been hosting events called Zombie Crawls. Reminiscent of the cult flick “28 Days Later,” Zombie Crawls feature everything from bloody nuns to dead brides and pirates touting an assortment of oozing sores and gunky, bloody lacerations. The next Crawl in Denver is scheduled for Oct. 23 at 2 p.m. at Skyline Park. The earliest zombie walk on record was held on Aug. 19, 2001 in Sacramento, Calif. The event, billed as “The Zombie Parade,” was the brain-child of Bryna Lovig. Since then zombie crawls, walks, mobs and shuffles have taken place in numerous cities across the country. Manitou’s “Crawl of the Dead” on Oct. 16 saw over 145 people, according to their website. The night began at the Underground where make-up professionals waited to transform average pedestrians into the walking dead. Zombies then wandered up and down Tejon Street, until ending the night back at the Underground for a dance party. UCCS student Dan Cordova recalled,

“We were passing Tony’s and the mob starting pressing against the glass, leaving bloody handprints. The people inside sitting next to the window began to get up and move away.” “The general trend of flash mobs and things like that has a really interesting effect on people,” said Danny Newman, whose own Zombie Crawl will take place this weekend in Denver, “People are coming together to do something crazy and fun as a huge group, then go their separate ways. Whether it’s a big public game of ping pong or, in our case, dressing like zombies, people like to be part of whatever that big thing is,” he said. Newman, 29, founded Denver’s Zombie Crawl as a fun way to celebrate his birthday after witnessing a similar demonstration in San Francisco. The first Crawl saw he and 50 of his friends gathered in 2006 to stumble from bar to bar in downtown Denver; the event has grown in popularity and attendance since, to boast thousands of undead shuffling around the park. Newman hopes that this year will break last year’s 4,000-participant record. Newman highlighted that the Crawl is a free event for all ages; Newman only requests that those who can bring a nonperishable food item to donate to the

October 19 to October 25

Photo Courtesy of

This picture actually wasn’t taken during the Zombie Crawl. Just goes to show how messed up downtown Denver is.

Food Bank of the Rockies. Attendees can sign up as participants in one of two groups: People can be either the walking dead or human survivors of the zombie apocalypse, who will be identified by white t-shirts marked with a red “x”. They can be mobbed by zombies at will. On Saturday, the make-up and pre-

party party starts at 2 p.m. At 3:30, the Crawl really starts with a rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” The Zombie Crawl will continue until 5:30 p.m., when the costume contest begins, followed by a zombie-related movie in the park and an after-party at City Hall. For more information, visit Newman’s website, S

Lodge eliminates trays to improve sustainability Corey Mensing The Lodge has recently gone tray-less as part of an initiative to be more efficient with resources. Large oval platters have replaced the traditional blue trays. The transition occurred but a few weeks into the semester, and while the change is inconvenient to some, it is saving water, energy and soap. According to Executive Director Jim Gagnon, “We got the platters so it kind of made the trays redundant.” He added, “It’s so much easier in the dish room.” At this point, the school has supported and embraced the dining experience change. Many people are happy with the change, and as explained by the Lodge’s Robert Davison, “I think it’s great because it saves water and helps keep prices down.” He further explained, “You don’t have as many spills, you just have one plate instead of four.” Russ Saunkeah, gen-

eral manager of dining services on campus, is optimistic about the new direction. “I think it’s a good thing. It’s going to save us energy,” he explained. Saunkeah also expressed his appreciation of everyone’s cooperation during the transition. “Overall, the reaction has been tremendous. Students have been on board since day one.” He also added that faculty and staff has been supportinve of the change, especially since such actions are not isolated to UCCS: “A lot of other schools are going tray-less,” said Saunkeah. Under the old system, trays were washed regardless of any contact with food. This wasted both water and soap. In addition to saving resources, the new platters are more durable, which is another cost saver. “Before, plates and bowls needed to be replaced more frequently,” said Davison. He believes that many students like

the new platters. Some people are indifferent to the change and as explained by freshman Brielle Lindstrom, “I’m kind of in the middle.” While Linstromo understands the new platters save water, she has struggled carry everything without the aid of a tray. Others, like freshman Danielle Welsh, complained, “I don’t like it because you can’t carry your plate, cup, and phone and keys.” For the most part, the freshman class has adjusted well to the change; however, some students, like Welsh, feel slightly cheated. “I liked the trays; they shouldn’t have teased us,” she said. Edna Dungan, a cashier at the Lodge, is uncertain about the Lodge’s new direction. “I do miss the trays because I used to be able to separate my foods,” she expressed. Although she understands the need for the new platters, she explained, “I’m just oldfashioned.” S



The Curry Leaf: A taste of Sri Lanka October 19 to October 25

Brock Kilgore Sri Lanka is the home of cinnamon and a world leader in tea production. If you have ever had Ceylon tea, this is where it comes from. Located on the southeastern coast of India, about four Sri Lankas could fit inside Colorado. From our perspective, their cuisine is very similar to Indian cooking, although their cultures differ tremendously. Their cooking is representative of both the Sinhalese majority and the Tamil minority populations, as well as influences from Portuguese, Dutch and British imperialist invasions. My favorite class right now is a graduate seminar on the history of India taught by Dr. Chris Hill. He suffered a heart attack recently and is recovering, so with best wishes for him I wanted to review a restaurant, and a culture’s cooking, that are as unique as Dr. Hill’s classes. The Curry Leaf is located in the same building as the Triple Nickel Tavern near the corner of Wahsatch and Colorado Avenues. The entire space is no bigger than a

glorified food cart; but it is clean, well-lighted and has excellent service. The exotic smells and decorative items from Sri Lanka make the intimate space feel very homey. Owner Lana Hillstrom usually serves tables, but on our visit, a pleasant young man impressively waited tables, cooked and was the only employee present. Many, many spices are used including actual curry leaves, cinnamon sticks, lemongrass and handmade curry powder. The most unique ingredient, and my favorite, is salt-cured Maldivian fish. Most customers would never suspect the specks of salty goodness are salted fish, but it provides an interesting flavor profile. The good but perceptively bad part of the menu is that it is fairly limited, but don’t fret because a few excellent and truly representative items are always better than a menu full of so-so selections. With menu prices between dinner and lunch not changing for appetizers, and differing only $1.50 from $10 to $8.50 on curry combinations (one meat and one veggie), and $11.50 to $10 on the Deviled Meat Spe-

cialties, as well as little change in portions, go ahead and treat yourself to dinner if time allows. Quite often appetizers take away from the main menu, but the Curry Leaf’s sampler platter contains three distinctive offerings that deserve attention. The Beef Sri Lankan Rolls are like thick-skinned, breaded egg rolls with a spicy curried beef and potato filling. The Cutlets are like South Asian crab cakes made with fish, and the simple vegetarian pastries are one of the best things on the menu with a Phyllo dough like pastry crust. Although the side salads are couched at the back of the menu, they are absolutely essential. They provide a necessary fresh and crunchy texture to even out the rich and creamy textures of everything else. The Coconut Roti flatbread, like firm pancakes with bits of coconut, is also essential to sop up the sauces. Although nearly all of the entrees are described as “simmered or sautéed in coconut milk with Sri Lankan spices,“ the individual curries vary significantly. The Green Bean Curry is my favorite. It is less creamy than the others with a distinctive salty

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and spicy flavor that compliments the green beans. If spicy food sustains you, then you must try the Deviled Meat Specialties. They are like sweet and sour Sri Lankan fajitas with onions, peppers and a sweet and spicy sauce sautéed with pork, beef, sausage or shrimp. Chicken Curry is the house special, and the large, slow-cooked pieces of white meat will satisfy almost any American palate. On the vegetarian side, the Eggplant Curry is a rich and multi-layered concoction that reminded us of “Sri Lankan mole.” The menu does, however, require creative ordering. The true experience needs to include the appe-

Photos by Carrie Woodruff

above: Unlike the spice, the eatery won’t stain clothes. below: The perfect spot for a blind date, even if he seems a little frightened of his food.

tizer sampler, two of the side salads, the Coconut Roti bread, at least one of the curry or Deviled specialty entrees, and the Sri Lankan Iced Coffee. This suggested order costs about $15 a piece

for three people to taste everything without having tons of leftovers. Subsequent visits can focus on your favorite and be far less expensive, but take this chance to indulge in another culture. S

The punk rock movement hits Colorado Springs Brock Kilgore Merriam-Webster describes misanthrope as “a person who hates or distrusts humankind;” to be punk is to be a misanthrope. I started listening to punk rock in the mid-eighties, and although I only recently learned the meaning of misanthropy, it has described me from day one. It’s not that I don’t like other people; I love them; it’s just that I think we, collectively, do a bunch of stupid stuff. This fall, Colorado’s listening audience has a unique opportunity to witness four bands, either in Denver or Colorado Springs, who helped to form the foundations of punk rock. Their names alone – Social Distortion, Suicidal Tendencies, Bad Religion and Danzig – make no apologies for what it means to be punk. Punk rock began as a response to the stupidity of the seventies. The Sex Pistols, The New York Dolls and The Dictators represented the first punk rock revolution bent at exposing idiocy – in three cords.

Social Distortion front man and founding member Mike Ness said, “Without good black music, there would be no white music.” They play a particular brand of punk rock that is influenced by old-time country and the blues; but what makes punk, punk, is attitude. These four punk bands all formed in the late ’70s and all have been recording and touring essentially ever since – so with the drugs that tend to permeate rock and roll, it’s a wonder that they are still alive. Social Distortion’s Ness spent most of that time addicted to heroin, and their song “I was wrong” pretty well sums up his position on his personal history. That they are still playing also means that punk rock has endured and continued to find new audiences. Social Distortion quickly sold out both Friday and Saturday night last weekend in Denver’s Fillmore Auditorium. Nearly everyone knew all the words, and absolutely everyone was still calling for another encore when they finally had to close the thing down. Suicidal Tendencies plays

Tuesday, Oct. 26 at The Black Sheep. Their legendary 1983 self-titled album is what generation X learned to skate to. It defined skatepunk as the combination of punk, heavy metal and curb heads. Because front man and founding member Mike Muir had gang affiliations from an early age, going to see Suicidal Tendencies in the old days was always a rough scene. I saw them at Manhattan’s downtown (sweet music venue we used to have just up the street from Kimball’s) in about 1995 and that element has thankfully diminished. These days Muir and the boys spend more time funkin’ it out with side project Infectuous Grooves than gang bangin’. Regardless, punk rock anthems “Institutionalized,” “Possessed” and “Born to Skate” have just as much relevance today as in 1983, and that’s saying more than “all I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn’t give it to me.” Punk rock gods Bad Religion play Friday, Nov. 12 at the Fillmore in Denver. Founding members Greg

Graffin and Brett Gurewitz have become influential far beyond Bad Religion’s simple punk rock music and searing political lyrics. Graffin received bachelor’s degrees in both anthropology and geology, and an MA in geology from UCLA. His PhD from Cornel was in religion and evolutionary biology. He has taught at Cal Berkeley and is a sought after visiting lecturer. Gurewitz is the founder of the hugely influential Epitaph Records. Despite outside pursuits, they have toured nearly nonstop since their first show, ironically opening for Social DistorPhoto Courtest of tion in 1980. “I want to conquer the world” from the album “No Mike Ness Control” is my all-time favorite song. Danzig also plays in Denver on Friday, Nov. 12, but at the in another direction. Danzig is experimental, to say the least. Ogden Theatre. Glen Danzig’s modern band, From the death punk classical called by his last name, is the arrangement “Black Aria,” to culmination of a lifetime of his comic book company Verideath punk. He was a founding tok, to coming out of the closet member of the hugely influen- a few years ago, Danzig is different. tial band The Misfits. “I think the unifying thread The Misfits brand of rockabilly influenced an entirely new is that basic punk rock attitude,” genre, but the guru has gone he said. S

Terror, tension an Your guide to this year’s most horrifying haunted houses Considering college students in Colorado Springs can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a haunted hause, it’s not suprising that some just aren’t very scary. Since our money tends to drain away like fresh blood, we thought that rating the potentially frightening operations would prevent any unnecessary student moneyshed. Across these two pages you’ll find a list of student scare spots ranked in terms of:

Amount of bejesus scared out of us (Out of 5)

Ease of parking (Out of 5)

Wait time

Tween sightings (Out of 5)

Compiled by Catherine Jensen and Kim Morgan

Overall awesomeness (Out of 5)

Haunted Mines $15-$20

At a Glance

225 North Gate Blvd Colorado Springs



30 min



Held at the Western Museum of Mining and Industry, this haunted house feels just like what it claims to be: a haunted mine. This unique attraction is held on 26 acres of what was once a dairy farm in the 1800s. Wear your running shoes and jeans of which you aren’t particularly fond, because you may get dirty. This place requires you crawl, duck and run to face your fears. It’s made to feel like the interior of a mine so you should be prepared for smoke, dust, some mud and tight spaces. In addition to having mastered the art of surprise, the Haunted Mines explores other elements of fear. Unlike most haunted houses, which have actors jumping out at you from every corner, Haunted Mines gives you spaces of quiet so that you gain your composure before they send something completely different your way. The only haunted house we found with ambiance; this terror-filled journey had a consistent theme and set the mood with miners, a ride on a cart on tracks, and the most realistic fake elevator we’ve ever encountered. (Photo courtesy:

Asylum At a Glance


4601 E Amherst Ave. Denver



15 min

From the awards boasted by the website to being featured in the Travel Channel’s “America’s Scariest Halloween Attractions” in 2007, the hype associated with Asylum filled us with anticipation -- anticipation quickly shot down by the house’s lack of originality and failure to explore more than just the element of surprise. The house would have been much more ef-



fective had there been a back story, something that would psych participants out before entering. The darkness in each room was so impenetrable that you couldn’t see from one end to the other, and though there were a couple of asylum escapees, they weren’t enough to insight genuine horror. You will find no “Silence of the Lambs” asylum here; in

fact, the craziest people in the house were those who were frightened. The space is tight and it is safe to expect to be leapt at from each predictably dark corner. Ever consider holding a haunted house in, uh, a house? It may be more difficult to guide people but walking down an abandoned hallway with swaying florescent lights to find a sole patient whimpering in a corner would do a better job of scaring the daylights out of someone than, “Oh, look, there’s someone in the corner. Again.” Beware of the frightened tweens behind you: you may get kidney-punched. (Photo courtesy:

nd tweens, oh my! 13th Floor At a Glance


4120 Brighton Blvd, Bldg C Denver



1 hr +



13th Floor is paired with Blood Shed, a separate haunted house on the same property. Though our expectations were low for this one, it managed to undermine even those. Blood Shed is a stream of rooms where crazed hillbillies leap at you and ask if you would like to come to dinner. No, seriously, that’s all it is: the ridiculously boring and unoriginal precursor to 13th Floor. As to the main attraction, don’t confuse it with the urban legend. There aren’t 13 floors to get through here. The absence of a theme here becomes less important if you pay attention to the props; expect to see things here you might only encounter in an episode of “Star Trek.” This was the only house we visited that dealt with the fear of heights and did it well. Wear flat shoes but avoid heavy clothing: it gets hot. Due to tight spaces, it is likely you will bump into people (which is hilarious if the burly man two people ahead of you screams like a girl after you run into him). Though the best house to see in Denver, don’t make the drive just for it. If you are in town anyway, however, go ahead and see it; it will be worth your time.

(Photo courtesy:

Mind Seizure

Hell Scream At a Glance


5825 Mark Dabling Blvd Colorado Springs



~5 min

The name “Hell Scream” should have given away that what were about to encounter wasn’t going to be worth it. Though there was no line, the wait to get in consisted of a 15-minute brag-fest with absolutely no follow-through. Despite having been warned at the beginning of the tour that bodily fluids had been spilled on previous nights, we can say it was unlikely. The beginning made it sound interesting: A crazed doctor blending human with animal to create breathing blobs of horror sounded promising. The remainder of the house, however, held rooms with things we had



seen five times already: crazed clown, guy in an electric chair, the reaper. The only truly horrifying thing about this house was that real children were used as actors. A sevenyear-old girl pretending to get her legs sawed off might have been enough to make bodily fluids flow, but that was it. If you happen to get dragged to this place and endure it, we suggest messing with the chain saw guy by having him run circles around the tire towers at the end. If this isn’t scary enough for you, head next door to Mr. Biggs and play laser tag with tweens and snotridden children.

At a Glance


5225 E. Platte Ave Colorado Springs



30 min

Tween-haters be relieved: you won’t get stuck between groups of squealing 13-year-olds in this one. Mind Seizure does a very good job of seeing that you and your group are kept to



yourselves and given the opportunity to fully experience each room, all of which are detailed to the max. The monsters won’t be the only thing keeping you from a quick escape.

You may find yourself overcome with the urge to stop and gaze at the ornate props and makeup. Be prepared to crawl through some tight spaces and be bombarded with loud noises. There is no smoke, but flashing lights are also to be expected. Mind Seizure truly “seizes your mind” through an intricate exploration of a multitude of fears. Whether it is dying in a car crash or being chased

by a contortionist clown, prepare to have your fears tested. You may also pay an additional $4 to see two side shows. Put on by Ghastly, side shows include the “Black Hole” (an oval tunnel trailer that spins and makes it appear as though gravity is no longer working), and a room of props created by a haunted house company. See the side shows if the wait isn’t too long. (Photo courtesy:


Page 10

October 19 to October 25

Japanese cultural festival held this month Wellington Mullins

Photo by Brock Kilgore

It’s like “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maitenance,” but infinitely more awesome, because it involves vast quantities of delicious food.

Zen and the art of cooking for one Brock Kilgore Zen, as it has been described to me, is both personal and cosmic, and nothing is more cosmically satisfying than learning to cook for one. It may seem easier, less expensive and less wasteful to eat out, but with a little forethought, preparation and work, cooking for one can be healthy, inexpensive and nearly waste-less. Cooking for one starts in the grocery store. Costco may have the best prices, but unless you live with your parents, most students don’t have the storage space to buy in bulk. Instead, study the weekly flyers for the supermarkets in your area, and buy only what is on sale or has a coupon. I’m not sure how they get bananas all the way from Guatemala without bruising, but in my possession they rapidly disintegrate. Try blending frequent trips to the local market for fresh fruit, veggies and bread with one big trip to Wal-Mart for low prices on nonperishables. After nearly twenty years of cooking for one, I know that my favorite meal - no matter where I am - is to go to the local market and get a small piece of cheese, some fruit, a fresh roll and something to drink. This simple meal is inexpensive, bound to be fresh and feels like a treat.

Breakfast may be the most important meal of the day, but it is also the most expensive to eat out. I like to make a whole batch of breakfast burritos or sandwiches with a package of tortillas or English muffins, a six pack of eggs, potatoes, whatever meat you like, if you eat meat that is, and cheese. Roll or assemble, wrap in plastic wrap, label and put them in the freezer. Lunch is the best meal to eat out. Portions in this country are usually enormous, and lunch priced leftovers are perfect for students. Unfortunately, the middle of the day is usually the busiest for students, so going out is not always an option. We all know that soup, sandwiches, salads or anything brought from home are student lunch staples. Reuse plastic containers and grocery bags to transport food, and try bringing along a crockery or glass bowl from home to reheat in, and eat from. Melted plastic in our food cannot be good. Dinners cooked at home are the heart of cooking for one. Make a regular sized batch of anything and freeze the rest. Steak, flavored hamburgers, chicken and fish are all sold in individual fresh and frozen portions. My favorite dinner is an open faced turkey sandwich with instant mashed potatoes and gravy. Side dishes can be as easy as a baked potato in the microwave or a bag

of frozen veggies with sauce. Raw, fresh veggies and fruit are the healthiest. I like to make a “fridge salad.” Buy jars of pickled stuff, croutons, nuts, tuna, canned chicken, dressings or whatever you like when they come on sale, and fill a bowl. Don’t eat ramen noodle packages, they are bad for you. Instead, buy decent oriental noodles and mix with a broth, hot sauce, vinegar, citrus juice, tofu, meats, fresh veggies and herbs. For Italian style pasta, cook one portion of noodles, cover with sauce straight from the jar, cover and then microwave. Hydration is an iatrical part of staying healthy, especially in Southern Colorado’s dry climate. Plain water is of course optimal, but I like to drink sparkling water in aluminum cans. It has no calories, costs about $2 a twelve pack, is highly portable and the cans are recyclable. As a treat, Italian sodas are easily made by adding your favorite flavor of coffee shop syrup. Sun tea is easy to make all year long, and I like to make a whole pot of coffee and put the remainder in the fridge for iced coffee later. Remember to put it in another container because coffee pots don’t hold up well in the fridge. Lastly, buy yourself some good beer, you deserve it. The best microbrews are available in 650 ml “bomber” bottles. It’s like a little two-glass keg party for yourself. S

On Oct. 23, the JapanAmerican Society of Southern Colorado (JASSC) will be hosting its 11th annual cultural festival and bazaar to help promote the interlocking of the American and Japanese cultures. The event will be hosted at the Stargazers Theatre in Colorado Springs and is free and open to the public. The JASSC is a nonprofit, educational and cultural organization that helps to educate Southern Colorado residents about the Japanese culture. They also demonstrate the cultivating of friendships to promote harmony between Americans and Japanese. They have been successful in doing so by hosting cultural events and providing well balanced programs. Some of these include Asian cooking classes, Japanese language classes and Japanese calligraphy classes. The cultural festival will showcase Japanese entertainment and food and items such as house ware, hand kimonos, craft items and wonderful gift items will be available to purchase. There will also be vendors at the bazaar in-

Photo Courtesy of

Shortly after taking this photo, the village was raided by ninjas and burnt to the ground.

cluding Japanese senbei, bonsai, obi-art and much more. There will also be a Ninjutsu martial arts demonstration, Japanese and Okinawa Dance, Taiko Groups and a Koto Music Performance. Japanese food, such as sushi, bento, yakisoba and assorted snacks will be available at the event. JASSC has high hopes for this year and is sure to entertain attendees. The JASSC is a very hard working organization, determined to educate Southern Colorado residents about the richness of Japanese culture and facilitating cooperation, understanding and appreciation for different cultures. “Since I arrived to UCCS this semester, I realized that there are a few diverse groups here.

I’ve been able to make friends with people from Korea, the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Africa and Japan. One of the reasons I’ve been successful in doing so is because I show a great interest in my friends by learning a few things about their culture,” said UCCS freshman Austin Cook. One of the principles to make people like you in the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnige, is to become genuinely interested in other people. Members of JASSC encourage dialogue and communication during the event. Showing interest in people of different cultures facilitates understanding and builds friendships, the group stressed. S



October 19 to October 25

Page 11

Mountain Lions win two out of three on the road, prepare for finale of regular season Matt Crandall The women’s volleyball team improved to 12-9 overall and 6-6 in the Rocky Mountain Conference as they came home with victories over CSU-Pueblo and Western State during their three day road trip last week. By defeating CSU-Pueblo 3-2 (20-25, 25-23, 25-23, 2025, 15-12) on Oct. 14, UCCS took a 10-4 lead in the 2010-11 Steel & Silver Series competition. UCCS women’s soccer and volleyball have contributed with four points apiece, while men’s golf added two points, which increased the lead 10-4. The lady Mountain Lions came up short against Adams State Oct. 15, losing 3-1 (21-25, 2515, 16-25, 20-25). Saturday night’s win against Western State proved to be a much needed conference victory, as UCCS remains in a fifth place standing in the RMAC’s East Division, trailing a game

behind Colorado Christian, which sits at 7-5. NebraskaKearney currently resides undefeated atop the East Division at 12-0, followed by Metro State (10-2), Colorado Mines (9-3) and Regis (9-3). It was only in the first set that Western State displayed any kind of offensive front as they matched UCCS point for point after the score was tied 19-19. The two teams remained consistent as they exchanged kills back and forth, until two subsequent kills from Western’s Jamie Hamsa and Lindsey Huson gave Western State the initial first set victory, 31-29. After regrouping, the ladies never looked back as they stole the next three sets allowing UCCS to win 3-1 (29-31, 25-17, 25-19, 25-17) and increasing their winning streak to seven wins in a row over Western State. The Mountaineers of Western State have not claimed victory over UCCS since Sept. 10, 2004. Junior standout Alex Nutall

led the team with 16 kills and 21 digs, while sophomore Nikki Kinzer and junior Sonja Johnson added 12 and 10 kills, respectively, in the winning effort. Senior Kendall Utz contributed with an impressive 20 digs bringing her season total to 311. Sophomore Lindsay Stich played extremely well filling in for injured setter, Cindy Bathelt, recording 51 assists and 17 digs. UCCS controls their own fate and playoff hopes as they enter the final stretch of the regular season, with four of their last seven games being played on the road. The ladies will travel to Metro State, Regis and Colorado Mines during Oct. 22-26, until finally returning home Friday, Oct. 29 to take on Colorado Christian at the Gallogly Events Center. The team may need to play exceptionally well and win more than half of their final matches of the season in order to secure a chance at the postseason. S

Photo Courtesy of

It might look like she’s happy, but she’s actually pissed because no one wants to do the “YMCA” dance with her.

UCCS Club Tennis brings growth Ryan Piechowski The club tennis season at UCCS is under way and looks as though it will be a big success. The first club match was Saturday Oct. 16 against Colorado School of Mines and besides the furious winds blowing in at the Colorado College tennis courts, the event went on just as planned. The team has grown substantially in both personnel and recognition since its induction three years ago. The club started out as a group of ten enthusiasts who came together once a week for casual tennis conversation and occasional competitions. Advertising and marketing efforts via campus wide flyers, emails and word of mouth caught the attention of many students who were looking for a forum to share their love for tennis with others of a similar passion. These days, the club team has about 75 members and holds regular practices twice a week at various courts around the

Colorado Springs area. The rapid growth has even shocked Club president and Captain Josh Lorenzen, saying, “We’ve had over 120 or 130 new additions total in the last two years. There’s a lot of people signing up, a lot of growth right now.” Along with the tremendous development of the club team’s roster, the skill level of the team itself is at an all time high. With only a few members lost to graduation or transfer, the club looks practically identical to last year’s squad. Now, with the increase in practices and competitions, the team is working together and becoming quite the exhibition of talent. Lorenzen also commented on new additions and how they have factored into the squad. “We have a few new freshmen and couple transfers from places all over such as New York. We have some good players coming out, so overall we look pretty good.” As for right now the club team is simply taking it set by set, game by game and match by

match. Every season they have increased the number of schools they compete against as well as the number of locations they are able to borrow for competition. Lorenzen reiterated how tough it has been to get this club off the ground. “It’s tough to set up travel arrangements and to find other schools with similar tennis programs,” he said. The overall goal with the UCCS Tennis Club Team is to keep developing and gaining notoriety as well as new, passionate members. In time, Lorenzen hopes to regain the varsity status the team previously had before the university disbanded its tennis program. Lorenzen is currently a senior at UCCS and is hoping that this team will continue on its path of development and expansion after he departs from the university. However, with so many unidentified tennis aficionados waltzing around in the campus shadows looking for an opportunity to put their rackets to use, this club team should have no fear of ever slowing up. S

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athletics October 19 to October 25

Page 12

A drop in expectations Jessica Lynch

Photo Courtesy of

We tried to find a photo of Marisa Miller actually doing something work-related to the NFL, but you try throwing her name into Google and see what pops up. Go on, try it.

Going beyond the ‘T&A’ of America’s female sportscasters Matt Crandall If you were to take a microscopic view into the largest and most popular male-dominated sports franchises in the world today and primarily focus on the media, sportscasters and journalistic variances themselves, what would you see? The answer to that question in one abstract word is sex, and lots of it. Sex sells, and it’s something society has known for a long time, but it can come with a devastating price because sexism tends to flow sporadically and tangentially along with it. The attractive, young, hott (yes, the additional letter‘t’ is needed here for emphasis) female sportscaster has become the new global standard for sports media and sports coverage. Upon further investigation and digging below the surface level of the professional sports industry itself, I came across these revenue statistics for each league and the numbers are quite astounding, to say the least. According to

tries/Sports, the revenue sales for the National Basketball Association (NBA), Major League Baseball (MLB), National Football League (NFL), and National Hockey League (NHL) for each of their perspective last seasons were defined as follows, in billions of dollars: NFL 7.8, MLB 6.8, NBA 4.0 and NHL 3.0, totaling 21.6 billion dollars. Now if we integrate that phenomenal statistic toward a marketing point of view, sex appeal and sexual icons appear to be an influential and alluring antidote for the industry today. Let’s be honest, the target audience for these sports is the typical male consumer. Television networks are fully aware of this male nirvana and seem to apply a two-step strategy with their game coverage; place the unattractive, old and outdated male sportscasters that offer creative, insightful and intelligent commentary behind the camera and introduce the attractive, young, intelligent, vibrant women in front of the camera and into the field for the television timeouts, injury updates, and some pre- or post-

game analysis. The majority of networks seem to follow this questionable format but the real argument remains: Is this right or wrong? Across the board there are many young, talented and driven female sportscasters out there today, including ESPN’s Erin Andrews, NASCAR on Fox’s Krista Voda and the NFL Network’s Michelle Beisner. If you remove attraction and beauty from the equation of these three women and solely assess their performances on credentials, background and creditability, it becomes apparent that the three ladies have a vast range of experience as sports reporters and journalists. Here are three people who really know what they are talking about when it comes to sports, despite the stereotype of their job requirements being depicted as beauty over brains. The most recent addition to this list is bombshell blonde Marisa Miller, who recently signed with the NFL as the “official ‘Super Fan’, promoting special NFL events and appearing in print

and television ads.” Miller’s background includes several appearances on Sports Illustrated Swimsuit magazine covers and years spent as a Victoria’s Secret Angel model. Her background doesn’t exactly exemplify real credible experience in sports, but then again she has been quoted in various news sources, saying, “I’ve grown up watching football my whole life.” It seems the deployment of Miller binding ties with the NFL is more for show than salient sports coverage. Whatever the case may be, and whichever sport appears to be glued with the superficialities of incorporating a great looking sportscaster, the final judgment is up to the fans. The fans are what fuel the economy of sports, and anything the leagues can do to maintain this simple principle is what it’s all about. Pretty faces will satisfy shallow people, and in today’s world of professional sports, there are a lot of both. The world of sports is like an organism that evolves and adapts over time, and the connected appendage of sports media must evolve and adapt along with it. S

Victoria Secret Angels are dripping in publicity and suffocating society with their incessant appearances. In a recent attempt to strip every young girl of a normal upbringing, the NFL appointed Marisa-sexobject-Miller as its spokesperson. She was never my hero. And as far as I’m concerned, she never will be. Instead, when I was a little girl, I dreamed of playing in the WNBA. I watched star athletes like Becky Hammon and Sue Bird dominate the competition and I admired the courage, determination and athleticism they demonstrated as females. As a little girl and then a young woman, they were my heroes. In 2007, Miller became a Victoria Secret Angel. In 2008, she graced the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. This same year, she was voted Maxim magazine’s “Hot 100.” In 2010, she emerged in FHM’s “Sexiest Women in the World” poll. Miller is set to work with the league to promote high profile events, like the upcoming game in London between the San Francisco 49ers and the Denver Broncos. I bet she wears a glitzy swimsuit. Or, maybe just some lingerie. As she explained, “Going to the U.K. for this game is going to be a blast. I’m looking forward to helping gain new fans and show them how incredible the game of American football is!” No doubt you’ll drink to that. And by gain new fans, how does she intend to do that? Is prostitution legal in London? My point, however, is that the NFL’s decision is one of vapidity and self-interest. It’s a further objectification of the female body. It’s a beer commercial juxtaposed with a five-person orgy. While I am not so hypocritical to comment solely on her scantily, clad appearance and frail, “I could break you over my leg without trying” body, for all the coverage, very little has been written about her actual understanding of and respect for the game of football. Yes, she claims to be an ardent fan of the sport and as NFL Vice President elaborated, “Marisa’s love for the NFL and our sport made her ideally suited for this role.” You sure about that? Because for all we know, she doesn’t even know how many points a touchdown is, or what pass interference means or why a team would ever go for a two point conversion. In my opinion, she is an embarrassment to the sport; she is an embarrassment to female athletes and female reporters in general. In fact, she is nothing more than a glamorized cheerleader, just with less dance moves and flexibility. If she proves to be as ignorant as I believe her to be, then she will be, undoubtedly, a mockery of every woman sportscaster in the business. As a female interested in entering this field, women like Marisa Miller are reason for both frustration and concern. She is undeniably a beautiful woman; however, her beauty has highlighted a few of society’s many problems. It has marked our discretions and our sick obsession with sex and objectification and loss of self-respect. As much as I would like to admire and look up to Marisa Miller, I can’t. Just like I can’t take Glen Beck seriously, especially when he cries. Miller is just another pretty face pretending to feign interest for a sport she may or may not have genuine interest in or appreciation of. She’s no Becky Hammon; I don’t want to be her when I grow up. I hope no other little girls want to, either. S

opinion October 19 to October 25

Page 13

Mom, will you hold my hand?

Photo Courtesy of

The best part of this picture? The “Spy Kids” promotional poster in the background.

Halloween: It’s not for you

Jasen Cooper “If you’re an adult, and you’re planning to dress up on Halloween… Don’t. I will find you; I will hurt you.” Lewis Black issued this threat during his Carnegie Hall performance in 2006, and I have yet to find a wiser old man. He goes on to rightly explain that, as adults, we are capable of dressing up in costumes whenever we want. We don’t need permission and a special holiday anymore. Just ask all the nerds at the Renaissance Festival. So stop dressing up for what is clearly a children’s holiday. Just go get plastered with your frat brothers over a game of beer pong, as you would any other weekend. Hell, be daring and celebrate on Saturday, so you can let the hangover wear off before Monday morning’s class. The only good reason to dress up on Halloween if you are an adult is if you have a young child with whom you will go Trick or Treating. And even then, you just have to

make the kid think you’re into it so he doesn’t feel like a freak of nature for wanting to wear a princess costume. Note: you are the only one who will not mock your son for wearing a princess costume. Just something to be aware of. There are plenty of alternatives for appropriate costume partying, such as murder/mystery parties or masquerade balls thrown in honor of your grandmother’s funeral. You can also always laze about the house in a Superman outfit while your mother cleans your room. These are occasions which I would like to dub ‘Adultoween.’ Adultoween can be celebrated any day or time, with any number of other participants, and is not something for which one should necessarily pine. It would be more appropriate to dedicate all this time spent planning intricate costumes to more productive things, such as passing your midterms, getting into someone’s pants, or figuring out how to rob every third child who shows up asking for sugary handouts. Adult-appropriate Halloween celebrations include visiting haunted houses, telling spooky stories to friends around a bonfire, and bobbing for apples. Bobbing never gets old. Adults might also consider peeling grapes for hours on end on the off chance that the

one kid who would get grossed out by feeling “eyeballs” happens upon your doorstep. Throw in some pumpkin innards and you have yourself a regular ol’ spooky festival. And no, before you ask, I am not bitter. I had a perfectly fulfilling childhood of never dressing up for Halloween because my parents made me make my own costume and sixyear-olds can’t sew well enough to staunch the piercing laughter of their peers. My stance is founded purely on science, reasoning and a three-week diet of candy corn. I plan on celebrating this Halloween in accordance with American traditions: visiting Walmart at 5 a.m. on Nov. 1 to buy bags of candy for 50 percent off, then stopping by the holiday section to start rounding up decorations for my Christmas tree. I don’t yet have a Christmas tree, but I hear if you start shopping early enough and completely ignore Thanksgiving they give you a discount at the Boy Scout tree lot. And if I see any adults in costumes while I am at Walmart, I will likely not do anything about it. I don’t weigh enough to back up any actual threats against people who want to enjoy themselves on a calendar-designated day of enjoyment. Mostly I’ll just grumble, then stare at the ground and run away because, oh, God they might have heard me.

Pain. No hair. Gone. Can’t look at her. Is she smiling? The summer before my senior year of high school, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time, I wasn’t home, but at a basketball tournament in California. I was standing in line for a ride, and as the kids rushed by in excitement and my teammates pushed forward, I crumbled to the ground, clutching for something, anything, to hold my life together. My coach turned to me, he offered his condolences, but they were silenced, silenced by the hand wrapped around my throat. The next day, I had the game of my life, I went 5 for 5 from three; my coach told me it was the grace of God. I would have gladly missed every single shot. There was nothing I could do. Unrequited questions. Just pain. Not fair. Hapless. A few days later, I was home, and the reality, the stark truth of the situation, hit me and I thought I would surely drown. Chemo came and went taking her hair; it tried to take her dignity with it. But she was too strong, too beautiful, too brave, to succumb. Standing on the stairs. A wig. A cap. A scarf. Her pace slowed as her body struggled to heal. She spent great amounts of time in bed, reading, talking to me. She was never the victim. Sometimes, I think I was. She was the clichés I usually refuse to write. “Fighter.” “Hero.” “My everything.” Her struggle followed me to school, to practice and to my bed at night. It twisted my dreams and hung like dirty clothes, stiff and stark against my skin. Like a wool blanket, the air thickened. It made it hard to breathe. And while I gasped for air, she breathed deeply with life. Through all this, she emerged, cleansed. She swept my fears away with the firm squeeze of her hand. She soothed me with hope for an idyllic future, a future of remission. I was seized with wonder. It has been over four years since her life took a new direction. To this day, she amazes me. To this day, the women who fight and conquer breast cancer amaze me. They are growing in numbers; they are increasing in size; proof that God triumphs. Because when I look back, and I replay her fight, I see nothing but triumph. I see ecstasy in her determination. I see fierceness and dynamism in her actions. I see a woman chasing fear with a smile. I see hope. Flawless. God. Beautiful. I’m the one smiling.

- Jessica Lynch

opinion October 19 to October 25

Page 14

The debate some don’t want you to hear

Stephen Farrell How did we get here? This has to be one of the most perplexing and hotly debated questions of the last hundred years, hands down. While many academic experts will, without hesitation, back “Darwinism,” the theory of evolution, many other equally qualified experts (usually college professors) would say otherwise. Well, at least they would if they knew it wouldn’t get them fired. Professors losing tenure (a permanent state of employment) at major universities for so much as even mentioning that Darwinism may not be as accurate as it seems is nothing new. According to, just one of many sources where this story can be found, Dr. Guillermo Gonzalez, an astrophysicist at the Univer-

sity of Iowa, was denied tenure in 2005. This occurred after colleagues in the astronomy department created an elaborate plot to have him ousted based solely on his views on what is formally known as Intelligent Design. Now, I’m not here to give you a science lesson. And truth be told, I’d sooner dig my eye out with a fork before sitting in a college level anatomy course; instead, I think I’ll just do my part to exploit those who would have others silenced for no other reason than because they have differing views. But to be brief: Intelligent Design is the theory that the origination of life in the universe is best explained by an intelligent cause. Exactly what or who this cause could be is another issue entirely, but many scientists seem to fear that it will lead to bible studies in the classroom. The issue of Intelligent Design vs. Darwin’s Theory of Evolution is one that begins long before the college level, but at the elementary school level. I remember bringing home permission slips in my sixth grade science class before the subject

According to the Book of Genesis, God is a hell of an architect.

of evolution would be broached. Across the board there seems to be a subtle rejection or “cold shoulder” on the part of the scientific community to any proponent of Intelligent Design. The said proponents are often dismissed as being “out of touch” or “disengaged” with reality. It’s no secret that the idea of Intelligent Design has been snubbed by the academic community. Some scientists, like Richard Sternberg, who

has two doctoral degrees in Biology from Binghamton University and Florida International University, have spoken out for the theory of Intelligent Design, albeit with a price. Sternberg was the editor of a scientific journal affiliated with the Smithsonian Institution, where he was also a research associate. Although Sternberg has admitted to finding many flaws with the Intelligent Design theory, he decided to publish it

Photo Courtesy of

because it was something worth discussing For Sternberg’s attempt at creating academic dialogue, he was rewarded with accusations of fraud and the spreading of false rumors. Other Smithsonian scientists claimed he wasn’t even a scientist. There is, in fact, a conscious effort to silence the idea and theory of intelligent design. Even when people, like Dr. Sternberg, try to bring just a smidge of logical debate to the table, their efforts are

squelched. This is an issue that you probably have not heard much about; that is because thousands of scientists and professors throughout our nation would prefer to keep it that way. That people have their life’s work discredited for favoring one idea over another is nothing short of reprehensible. But that freedom of speech in a professional field has been obstructed without recourse is unforgiveable. S

The power of ally-ship and a letter of gratitude

Catherine Jensen Thursday, Oct 14, after a successful day of celebrating National Coming out Day, the LGBT Resource Center held a candlelight vigil in memoriam of the recent suicides among members of the LGBT community. As I stood amongst the flames and tears at the vigil, I was overcome with a feeling of immense appreciation for those around me and for what this community at UCCS has been able to accomplish. Moments like these give us hope. Despite all the darkness around us, all the hor-

rific things we discover human beings are capable of doing to one another (bullying someone until they are convinced that killing themselves is preferable to being alive, for instance) there are still incredible things we are able to accomplish. Even in the middle of Colorado Springs, our community came together in a beautiful and powerful way. A day earlier in Chile, 33 miners who had been trapped under ground for 69 days were freed and all came out alive. The thought of waiting in the dark of a 28-inch diameter hole with little to no chance of survival must bring one to contemplate their worst fears, cannibalism among them. The pride that took the nation of Chile by storm in the days following was immense and inspiring. The country came together to support the people in that mine, recognizing that regardless of work they do, or that the majority of them come from some of Chile’s

most impoverished communities, they are members of the larger community and all of them are someone’s son, spouse, friend, co-worker or father. At the vigil for the LGBT youth, the UCCS community did the same. Students and faculty set aside concern for anyone else’s sexuality and concentrated on the human beings that had lost life. The week of Oct. 18-22 is LGBT Ally Week. This week celebrates and recognizes those who love and defend those from the LGBT community. This week is about understanding that allies are necessary and important in whatever form that may be. Being an ally involves being mindful and aware of the history of those around you, recognizing that all people deserve the right to be treated with respect and love and doing all you can to stand with those whom you are an ally to. The work one does as an

ally does not stop at the end of an Ally Week, however. Being an ally is a commitment for life. It means avoiding using phrases like “that’s gay” and asking people to be respectful when they use disrespectful language. It means when visiting an organization where only straight couples are mentioned, asking about options for same sex couples. It means telling your LGBT friends and family members and co-workers and professors that you support and love them and then attending the rallies, wearing the buttons and eventually attending their weddings. The work done by allies in my life is irreplaceable and I am indescribably grateful to have all of these people. I am also proud to call myself an ally to members of other disadvantaged communities and honored to be a part of the lives of so many incredible human beings. This week, it is our turn to honor you: Those who have advocated for equal rights and fair treatment, who have

defended LGBT friends on the playground and at work regardless of what those around them might think. Being an ally requires bravery and is not always easy. Though I cannot speak for all of the LGBT community I would like all those who have ever been an ally to me that I love and respect you, as you have me. I can say with fair confidence that the remainder of the community feels the same. To all those for whom I am an ally: thank you for welcoming me into your life and teaching me how to be a better ally and friend. Mother Theresa once said, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Let us begin to remind each other, not just on National Coming Out Day, but every day and every week, just how important belonging to one another is. We are all a part of this world, so let’s accept and embrace one other. S



“Still, if a statement cannot reasonably be interpreted to be one of express or implied fact, it cannot be libelous. This means that humor columns, spoofs, cartoons and satire are protected as long as readers understand that the material is not intended to be taken seriously.” -Student Press Law Center

Freshman wins staring contest, gains disproportionate noteriety Corey Mensing UCCS freshman Jeffrey Sanders made history last weekend, not only by winning the first annual UCCS staring contest, but by shattering the Guinness World Record for blink resistance. His victory, however, has been contested by his recent surgical eyelid removal. “All allegations against my client are 100 percent false,” said Sanders’ attorney as a mob of angry on-lookers jeered at Sanders following the competition. Fueling further speculation of cheating, an anonymous friend was overheard saying, “Won a staring contest? Jeff’s never won anything in his entire life!” Sanders’ former high school teachers commented on his life leading up to this achievement.

“He was a pretty average student,” said Pardo Silvestre, Saunders’ former math teacher. “He had two best friends that acted as foils to all his schemes. I mean, he accidently went to prom with the wrong girl,” he added. On the day following the competition, Sanders finally admitted to the surgery. “It’s a simple outpatient procedure, you’re in, you’re out, anybody got a problem with that?” explained Saunders’ attorney. Sanders also noted that nothing in the rulebook disqualified him of his title. Being surrounded by an angry mob is now part of Sanders’ daily life. “It’s kind of annoying when I have to pee,” explained Sanders. Others have thrown their support behind Sanders. “I think he’s kinda cute,” said freshman Mia Larmore.

Obama and Snookie sighted at Jersey party Cherise Fantus Who is that incredibly tan midget with the 6-inch poof talking to President Obama? Her name is Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, and Obama obviously knows who she is. The two were seen together Friday night at a popular club in Seaside Heights, N.J. The pair partied until 3 a.m., drinking and fist-pumping all night. “What happens at the Shore stays at the Shore!” Obama shouted as he dropped a shot of Jaegermeister into his glass of Red Bull and downed his Jaeger-bomb. At one point in the evening, Obama and Snooki were seen doing an awkward swing/robot type dance in the middle of the dance floor. Obama lifted his miniature friend over his head and spun her upsidedown, revealing her infamous cooka. Obama did not focus all of his attention on little Snickers, though. Club-goer Marcela “MScream” DeBlasio said that she let him take a shot from between her breasts. “Of course I let him,” she said, “He’s hot; why wouldn’t I want his face buried in my bazooms?” As the night progressed,

the pair took countless shots and beat up the beat like a cheap Atlantic City hooker who hasn’t paid her pimp. “That dude is crazy,” exclaimed Mike “Juice Box” Molinaro, “He got more game than any Guido I ever met. I’ll party with him anytime.” As they were exiting the club, a woman approached Snooki, accusing the tiny terror of flirting with her boyfriend. When Obama stepped forward in an attempt to quell the situation, the boyfriend, John “TanJovi” Barbieri, took a swing at the president. Secret Service immediately jumped into action, tackling Tan-Jovi and tasing him repeatedly. “That shit was crazy,” Obama was heard saying to Snooki as they left, “Nobody messes with POTUS!” The outing came as quite a surprise after Obama asserted that he didn’t know who Snooki was in an interview on The View earlier this year. It appears they just happened to have run into each other at the beach earlier that day. It has also been revealed that Obama is planning to present the pint-sized TV personality with an official presidential exemption from the “tanning tax” sometime next week. No doubt they’ll find an appropriate way to celebrate. S

Photo courtesy of

The goat later initiated a restraining order against Mr. Clooney, citing his intense stare as ‘creepy as hell.’ “He should know that I am fully aware that he stares at me during English,” she added. Despite the tremendous feat, Sanders feels remorseful since the win. “Besides being a background character in a Shawn Levy film,

nothing exciting ever happened to me. I never won anything in my life,” he said. To replace his natural blinking, Sanders applies eye drops every five seconds. He also sleeps in complete darkness to simulate closed eye-


places you didn’t know about on campus

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Perfectly placed parking spot, two minutes from your 8 a.m. class, which is never taken.

Portal to Narnia underneath the University Center Help Desk.

Speakeasy underneath Clyde’s. Access is granted only to the trendiest drinkers.

A financial aid office without lines, just past the regular financial aid office. Marijuana dispensary in Professor Bredlam Metereo’s office.

Reservoir of school spirit under Berger Hall. COB 355, where cell reception is perfect and nobody is snoring on a sofa.

lids. “It’s been difficult,” said Robbie Jackson, Sanders’ roommate, “especially since he’s afraid of the dark.” “Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and pretend it never happened,” explained Sanders. S

The news in brief Student struck by ice cream truck

An ice cream truck, while making its weekly visit to UCCS, struck and badly injured a student on Friday after the student ran into the road to order an ice cream sandwich. The student, whose name has not yet been released by campus officials, allegedly heard the truck approach as he was walking to class. Excitedly digging into his pocket for his wallet, he ran into the road, misjudging the location of the truck. He was knocked down by the vehicle and promptly trampled by other eager ice cream seekers. Most of his injuries were sustained from the trampling, as the ice cream truck was obeying campus speed limits at the time. Campus police are surprised the truck was following the speed limit, citing recent studies that found that nobody ever goes that fucking slow up a Godforsaken hill without their car stalling or some shit. S

Parking garage to be leveled, replaced by new dining hall

In response to anticipated growth in enrollment, as evidenced by record numbers of freshmen arriving on campus this semester, campus officials have decided to level the parking garage in favor of building a new dining hall. “We need somewhere for all of these new students to go, to eat and socialize and become a part of the campus community,” one official said, on condition of anonymity. “That parking garage has just been taking up space, we feel that this move will make better use of campus real estate and really benefit our students.” Student and faculty response to the announcement has been near-unanimous dissent, with the only people in favor of the new dining hall being those who are forced to live on campus without a car during their freshman year. One such freshman was excited at the possibility of a new dining hall, shouting something to the effect of fewer lines and more time to pick up chicks. Those opposed to the construction project have begun posting flyers throughout campus, containing simply the phrase “What the fuck, people?” in bold letters. S

Mascot breaks free, causes student stampede

At a recent volleyball game, UCCS’s real mountain lion mascot, Clyde, broke free from his cage and began ramRoom in the library where computers paging through the stands. Students nearest the cage, are available for use at 3 a.m. upon his escape, immediately attempted to flee and instigated a mass panic. Because the event took place during a White-Out event, all the students were sporting the same colors; it was like watching a herd of zebras in Shop to buy decent food and coffee, two the Serengeti. Many students were injured at the event, miles up the bluffs. both by trampling and by Clyde’s impressive claws and frying-pan-sized paws, but their identities have yet to be The perfect study spot, located three feet from determined: as all of the students lacked IDs and sported similar mauling injuries, it has been difficult to identify them. -Scribe Staff S

-Jasen Cooper

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Oct. 19, 2010  
Oct. 19, 2010  

Volume 35; Issue 7