Issue number 006
South African CHRISTMAS ISSUE
CONNECTING SOUTH AFRICA AND NEW ZEALAND
Inside Sol Kerzner SA’s Casino King see page 8
Great SA Sportsmen Gary Player see page 16
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South African W
e present the sixth edition of “The South African” and the last for 2008. We have tried to make it a monthly publication but we are unable to s ecure sufficient advertising to justify this. So next year starting February 2009 we will publish every second month. I would like to give a big thank you to all advertisers who placed their ads in the South African this year. It is your contribution that makes the magazine viable. So pat yourselves on the back. Well done. Most of you have seen the benefits of regular advertising. If you decide not to advertise, how are you going to improve your sales in these very hard times? One often dispenses with advertising when the market gets quieter. But this can have dire consequences. If you consider the big players like “The Warehouse” and “McDonalds,” you will find that they carry on advertising despite market conditions, because they know if they do not they will lose turnover. Wendy’s have recently brought out a $5 meal to combat dropping sales and make a meal more affordable. So my advice to you, in these tough economic times, is to continue advertising so that you can stay afloat. I have had to increase my company’s advertising overseas to get the same responses. This is inevitable, but totally necessary. Let’s hope that not too many ex-South Africans are affected by the downturn. If you know of people looking for work please refer them on to someone that may be able to help. We have recruitment advertisers who place advertisements regularly in the South African who will in all probability be in a good position to assist. To all of our loyal readers, thank you for choosing our magazine to grace your coffee tables. Please support our advertisers. You will notice that a lot of them are ex-South Africans and we as a nation are known for supporting each other no matter where we live in the world. Best wishes to all of you and we hope that you have a fun-filled and rewarding festive season. See you next year.
Regards, Peter Woodberg
mob: 021 791 284 e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
ADVERTISING Peter Woodberg
GENERAL ENQUIRIES ph: 09-520 4107 Fax: 09-520 4127
The South African P.O. Box 303 250, North Harbour, AUCKLAND 0751
CLUBS & ASSOCIATIONS SANZ Chairman - Brian Casey ph. (09) 476 1996 email. email@example.com SANZ Business Group - Lesley Langer ph. (09) 970 3837 email. firstname.lastname@example.org Die Afrikaanse Klub - Phillip Langenhoven email. email@example.com
Front cover: Live picture taken of an African Buffalo in the Kruger National Park. Only the hat is phony!
“The South African Magazine shall provide current, high quality, relevant editorial on subjects relating to the links between South Africa and New Zealand. It shall also be a platform for South African immigrants living in New Zealand to advertise their products and services.” All rights reserved. “The South African” is subject to copyright in its entirety. The contents may not be reproduced in any form, either in whole or in part, without the consent of the Editor. Opinions expressed in the magazine are those of its contributors and not necessarily those of the Editor. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information in this publication, the Editor assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions or for any consequences of reliance on this publication.
GEORGE DEEB A S S O C I AT E S Barristers ~ Solicitors ~ Notaries Public
Are you SorTed? For expert legal advice, from a team with 30 years combined experience in New Zealand and South African law, call us. We’ll help you sort out your affairs and make sure your new life in New Zealand is successful. Property - Trusts and Estate Planning - Company and Commercial Business Law - Immigration - Matrimonial ENSURING YOUR SUCCESS IS OUR PRACTICE
94 Anzac Street Takapuna Auckland Tel: 09 486 1415 | firstname.lastname@example.org | www.georgedeeb.co.nz
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Get Pumped on Nando’s Win a session with the best! (Jamie Cameron)
Get trim, taut and terrific with Jamie and Nando’s. See instore for details. Nando’s butterfly-cut chicken is trimmed of fat, marinated in our Afro-Portuguese sauce for 24 hours, flame-grilled to order and then basted in your choice of lemon and herb or our unique peri-peri sauce. High in protein and lower in fat and sodium, free of artificial preservatives, added MSG and colourants! Nando’s is ‘fuel for life’. It’s not fast food, it’s good food, fast! Jamie Cameron (pictured) former Mr New Zealand, proudly sponsored by Nando’s Takapuna.
Nando’s – Takapuna 162-168 Hurstmere Road, Takapuna, Auckland (09) 489 3004 Open 11.00am – 9.00pm 7 days
The SA issue6.indd 3
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Running a home business in New Zealand
We present part two of a fascinating series written by Heather Douglas.
THE BUSINESS PLAN How much planning should a home business do?
Responses to a HomebizBuzz online poll indicate that less than 20% of home businesses create and actively use a proper business plan. Nearly 18% don’t have any plan while by far the greatest portion of home businesses (over 40%) say they have a plan but it’s mainly in their heads.
Why a businesses plan Business plans usually serve a variety of purposes. Among the most important are: • helping the business owner decide whether the business is viable • facilitating the raising of bank finance, venture capital or private capital • facilitating goal setting, prioritising and planning of sales, marketing, manufacturing or other processes within the business • facilitating agreement between owners, partners, shareholders, management and employees with regard to the goals of the business • helping predict and facilitate the cash flow of the business • helping to identify potential problems or difficulties • serving as a benchmark against which the actual performance of the business, can be measured • assisting with the sale of the business
What are the benefits?
If the business is intent on securing a bank loan or raising finance, it will require a business plan that meets the requirements of the lender. However, any business owner that takes their business seriously should take the time to decide on their goals, clarify how they will get there, identify potential problems and take measures to counter or circumvent these, and measure their progress - and in this regard, home business owners are no different. As this is a live poll, these figures were accurate at the time of writing this article. Subsequent entries may alter the figures given.
What, then, should a business plan for my home business comprise? The important part of writing a business plan is the thinking behind it. Many home businesses will find a two or three page plan sufficient for their purposes; others will need a lot more detail. Among the questions you will want to consider are: • What are my goals for the business? • What do I need to do to reach those goals? • What can help me achieve those goals? • What can hinder me in trying to achieve them? • What can I do to overcome identified obstacles? • How will I know if I am on track to achieving my goal? A business plan usually has most or all of the following sections, along with several others which may be suited to the business’s own situation or the purpose for which the business plan is to be used: • an outline of the business • who the market is, and what competition you face • what the product (or service offering) is, whether it will be developed and if so, how it is to be developed • your staffing, premises, equipment and other requirements • a more detailed marketing plan (expanding on point 2 above) • a financial plan.
Using your plan as a tool
To capitalise on the time you put into writing your plan, make sure you use it as the tool it is intended to be. Measure your progress against your plan regularly - preferably monthly and at least once a quarter, and review your plan regularly - at least once a year. Spending time on your business plan will help you reach your goal faster, make running your business simpler and less stressful, help you foresee challenges and counter unexpected developments, and enhance your chances of success. You are the person who will benefit most from having a business plan. Make it a document that suits your needs and gives you the tools you need to push your business in the direction you want it to go, evaluate your progress and determine your next move. As long as it does that, it can be as short and simple as you wish. Article supplied by Home Business New Zealand. Its web site, www. homebizbuzz.co.nz helps make running a home business in New Zealand fun, easy and successful. Site visitors can access screeds of free home business focused information on finance, tax, technology, starting up, marketing, growth and more. All home businesses qualify for a free online listing in the HomebizBuzz Directory.
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Betty the Brave here is a dog that survived the odds. black betty the shiny labrador that defied death after a serious car accident By Peter Woodberg, our Editor
eating again. Over time she started hobbling around favouring her left back leg, lifting the other one off the ground. After about two weeks Betty started waking on both legs but she shuffled around like an old invalid. We thought that this was how she would end up; our beautiful Betty Boops, once a proud newspaper-fetcher, now a hopeless cripple. Two months after the accident Betty is now her old self again; running and jumping and getting the newspaper from the postbox every morning. Much thanks goes to Kit Lill and his team at Bayvet, 37 Bute Road, Browns Bay. We can certainly recommend them as caring and highly professional veterinarians and they certainly had much to do with Betty’s remarkable recovery. I know many people who have lost their pets to cars and accidents, but Betty beat the odds and with sheer guts and determination she literally “pulled” herself through to a full recovery.
etty is a black Labrador dog that lives with her best friend, Rosie in my house up in the hills of Torbay, Auckland. Rosie is a Rottweiler who was born after Betty and presented to her as a puppy. So Betty became the Mom of Rosie and she does her job of protector very well…until dinner time. Then Rosie becomes a predator! Both dogs have been to puppy training school and are very sociable. They accompany me and my family to the beach, Betty delivering the Herald pubs and cafes, and can be seen in the Torbay area going for walks without leads. They are well trained and will listen to basic commands from most people. Betty does have a slight edge over Rosie in the brains department, though. I managed to teach Betty how to fetch the paper from the letter box at the top of the driveway. Rosie prances around and gets very excited when her mom does her thing every morning, but she is not quite sure what is actually going on! One early evening these two naughty dogs decided to go on a “walkabout,” which involves some illegal exploring without anyone in charge. As soon as we found out that the dogs had gone we called the City Council Dog Control. They took the details but did not have any reports of two stray dogs. 15 minutes after putting the phone down a call came through from a couple who had reported that the dogs were involved in a car accident.. When we got to the accident scene we found Betty lying in the gutter with some very attentive people trying to care for her. They had put a towel around her to keep her warm but were cautious not to move her in case she had broken bones etc. Rosie the Rottweiler was quite oblivious to what was happening, and she was strutting around her “mother” with a furrowed brow, trying to figure out why Betty wasn’t moving. We thanked the people who found her and took Betty to the emergency Vet who took Betty straight into her consultation room to check her out for any broken bones and worse, to try and establish if she had any major internal bleeding which is normally the killer in these circumstances. The next morning we picked up Betty and were told that she needed an X-ray. We took Betty to Bayvet in Browns Bay where we met Kit Lill at the door of his practice. He picked up Betty who could not walk but was conscious, to his consulting room; felt her all over to check for any broken bones and any other injuries. She had a minor scrape on the side of her head and her eye was badly swollen. Betty stayed the night and we took her home the next day. The X-ray showed that she had cracked her hip bone, so Betty was unable to walk. We took her home and tried to nurse her back to full health, but she wouldn’t eat. She would leopard crawl every day to do her ablutions away from her bed and slowly, after more than a week, she began
Well done, BETTY THE BRAVE. But has she learnt her lesson?
Rosie the Rottweiler
“hey betty, y’done any walkabouts lately?”
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IMMIGRATION INFORMATION FOR NEW KIWIS Continuing with part five of this series produced by North Shore Immigration Services to assist new immigrants to NZ
This issue: New Zealand’s public health system
nvied the worldwide, the public health system in NZ ranks amongst the best to be found anywhere.
Comprehensive life-long medical care is available to everyone. All essential health care is provided free through the public health system. This means that while some routine services, such as visits to local doctors and dentists, have to be paid for, more costly services, such as hospital treatment are, with minor exceptions, available free to all New Zealand citizens or residents.
PUBLICLY FUNDED HEALTH SERVICES INCLUDE: • Free public hospital treatment • Free treatment at public hospital 24 hour Accident and Emergency (A&E) clinics • Subsidies on prescription items • Subsidised fees for visits to general practitioners (GPs) • S ubsidised fees for visits to physiotherapists, chiropractors and osteopaths when referred by a GP • Free or subsidised health care for those suffering from acute or chronic medical conditions • No charge for most laboratory tests and x-rays, except at privately operated clinics • No charge for health care during pregnancy and childbirth, unless provided by the private medical sector • No charge for GP referrals to a public hospital for treatment • Free prescription medicines for all public hospital patients • S ubsidies for children under six for visits to the doctor and
for prescriptions • Free breast screening for women aged between 45 and 64. Your first point of contact with the health system will probably be your GP (General Practitioner), also known as your family doctor. New Zealand has about 3,200 GPs. These are located in almost every city, suburb and town throughout the country. Local GPs are listed in The White Pages
WHERE TO FIND HEALTH SERVICES General Practitioners (family doctors), Specialists, After Hours and other Medical Centres are listed in The White Pages. Public and Private Hospitals, Residential Care Centres, After Hours Pharmacists, Registered Nurses and Midwives and Specialist Clinics are listed in The White Pages Physiotherapists, Dentists, Chiropractors, Osteopaths, Opticians, Pharmacists and Natural Therapists are listed under their respective sections in the Yellow Pages GENERAL PRACTITIONERS Registration Registering with a GP is free and easy. Simply provide the doctor’s receptionist with your address, phone number, and the names and ages of your family. You can choose which GP to register with, even if that doctor is not in your suburb. So, if you would prefer to deal with a female GP or a GP who shares your national or ethnic background, you are quite free to choose any doctor you wish. You are also free to change your GP at any time. Opening hours Most GPs are open from 8:00am-6:00pm – these are known as surgery hours. Some practices are also open one or two evenings a week, and sometimes on Saturday mornings. Emergencies In emergencies, most GPs will either provide an immediate appointment or make home visits – sometimes referred to as house calls – any time during the day or night. Medical examinations You have the right to have a friend or support person with you during medical examinations. Female patients may also request that a female nurse or other female staff member be present during examinations by a male nurse or doctor. Routine services such as cervical screening, blood pressure checks, and immunisation are often conducted by the GP’s Practice Nurse.
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LIVE AND WORK IN NEW ZEALAND !
We deal with all the unknown factors........
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What’s in it for you? The benefit of a reputable “one stop service” including assistance with the processing of your residence or work permit application, obtaining nursing registration, electrical license, official recognition of qualifications and trades, job search, business migration and help with settlement services for those migrants recently arrived.
We can help with your immigration process, including: •
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Contact us for a FREE consultation ! Our free and confidential consultation will give you an opportunity to assess your chances of gaining Permanent Residence in New Zealand
Call us at 09-415 3392 or e-mail: email@example.com
“North Shore Immigration have been more helpful than we could have imagined, going through the immigration process. There are many aspects of immigration, such as details on your paperwork, that the websites will never tell you about - things that will delay your immigration! It was definitely worth getting help from North Shore Immigration, because they were able to help get us through dealing with all the unknown factors of immigration. If you want to lessen the sleepless nights, we recommend going with North Shore Immigration - they keep to their code of ethics and will treat you with care and fairness.” Tem Schultz - one of many satisfied NSIS clients
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New Zealand’s North Shore attracting ever more South Africans BAYLEY’S REAL ESTATE, NORTH SHORE, HAVE MADE SOME INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS ON THE RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY BUYING BEHAVIOUR OF NEW SA IMMIGRANTS
he North Shore is developing a South African flavour with an influx of migrants planning new lives in the city.
An immigration expo held in Johannesburg last week attracted a more than 6,500 attendees looking to migrate to New Zealand, particularly the North Shore which already has attracted many of Auckland’s approximately 25,000 South Africans. Opportunities NZ Expo Marketing Manager Kylie Barker of “Working In” says the South African exodus is good news for the Shore with potentially hundreds of families moving to the community. “South Africans are well qualified and hard working, and many are professionals who can help alleviate New Zealand’s skills shortage,” she says. “Most are moving here for stability and the safety of their families. North Shore’s employment opportunities, its beaches and the safety and security they find by settling into a thriving South African community are all quite attractive.” Matt Oosthuizen, administrator of the Albany-based Afrikaanse Klub of New Zealand, says the North’s Shores schools and churches have also played a big part in their decision to settle here. “Right now there is a massive number of new migrants coming into New Zealand. Things are turning very bad in South Africa and people are getting out,” he says. “There are many South African children and teachers on the North Shore, and I think it is comforting for new arrivals to put their children in schools where they will meet others who know their culture. They can also worship in their mother tongue with two congregations of The Afrikaans Christian Church on the North Shore,” he says. Bayleys Real Estate, which attended the Johannesburg Expo, has already received 25 enquiries from attendees wanting to purchase property. Almost 600 expo enquiries had signed up to the company’s database to receive further information about housing in New Zealand. Residential director of Bayleys North Shore, Sue Stanaway, says that many of the South Africans who are purchasing on the Shore are also buying businesses across the region. “Those tsa immigrating here are predominately individuals and ad 100608.ai 10/6/08 11:10:25 well-off AM
families who are serious about relocating to a city they perceive as safe with excellent schools, strong economic activity and a relaxed lifestyle of beaches and barbeques,” Ms Stanaway said. “They are particularly interested in properties in the $750,000 to $1.5 million price bracket with most wanting to settle along the East Coast Bays corridor. The expo is likely to introduce an influx of new residents and this is excellent news for the North Shore property market, as it brings in offshore investment to help counteract softening sales. And it comes from buyers who are committed to this community,” Ms. Stanaway says. Carmen Holtz of Bayleys Albany, a native of South Africa, says she also is seeing a new wave of fellow migrants, driven out of their country by crime, particularly home invasions robberies and rape. “People who have been victims of crime leave. They get out if they can and they perceive the New Zealand as very safe. They like the North Shore because it looks similar to their homeland, with the tropical vegetation and access to the beach. South Africans are very big into sports, not just rugby but water sports, like sailing and windsurfing. It is a similar lifestyle to what they had back home,” Ms. Holtz says. She says the exchange rate for South Africans is unfavorable, but many bring large deposits and shop for cliff top homes. At the more affordable end they like Albany and Browns Bay and are seeking homes there in the $400,000 to $700,000 range.
Issued by Bayleys Real Estate Group. For more information contact Sue Stanaway, 09-489-0991.
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A helping hand for new businesses NATIONAL BANK OF NZ IS CURRENTLY LOOKING AT ASSISTING THE MIGRANT MARKET, ESPECIALLY ex-SOUTH AFRICANS. HERE ARE THEIR PROPOSALS:-
etting up a new business can be hard enough at any time, without the extra challenges of setting one up in a new country. But a unique approach from The National Bank is making it easier for new migrants to establish â€“ and grow â€“ their own business in New Zealand. â€œOur whole philosophy is that if our customers succeed, we succeed,â€? says Will Groenewald, Senior Manager of The National Bankâ€™s Migrant Business Banking team. â€œThat means going beyond normal banking services, and proactively working with our customers to help their business succeed. â€œFor example, one of the biggest issues South African businesspeople face when they arrive here is that they donâ€™t have the networks they had back home. We help our customers overcome that by introducing them to our own business networks, putting them in contact with people who can help. The Bankâ€™s â€˜helping handâ€™ approach goes much further.
A key component is the unique online Business Resource Centre that provides business customers with access to an extensive library of business information, tools and resources. They also offer practical, hands-on workshops on key aspects of business in New Zealand. Itâ€™s all designed to help their customers succeed â€“ and itâ€™s completely free. â€œThe Business Resource Centre is a fantastic asset for businesses,â€? says Will. â€œMigrant customers tell us there is nothing remotely like it in their home country. Itâ€™s a great example of the way we support our customers to succeed with their business.â€? The National Bank has a dedicated migrant banking team, which gives migrant customers a dedicated point of contact for all their banking needs. They can help migrants with information about products and services offered by The National Bank before they leave and help them settle in when they arrive. Like Will, they are all migrants themselves (many from South Africa and Namibia), which means they have first hand understanding of the issues involved in settling in to a new country. â€œWeâ€™re also in the process of creating some additional resources designed specifically for migrants,â€? says Will. â€œWeâ€™re developing a workshop and Solution Guide with important things new migrants need to know about setting up a business here.â€? To find out more about The National Bankâ€™s unique approach to helping migrants succeed in business, contact Will Groenewald by email (will. firstname.lastname@example.org) or phone him on (09) 3569131 or 027 2577689.
The National Bank part of ANZ National Bank Limited
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GREAT SOUTH AFRICAN SPORTSMEN
The Greatest Player of all featuring Gary Player By Ted Woodberg
ARY PL AYER i s described in golfing circles as one of the greatest players in the history of the game. He is up there with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, Ben Hogan, Gene Sarazen…. and even if we compare him to Tiger Woods, Gary is one of only FIVE players EVER to win golf’s “career Grand Slam.” This is a prestigious ac hievement that Gary attained in 1965 at the tender age of 29. When readers of South Africa’s top selling newspaper, The Sunday Times, were asked to vote for South Africa’s Sportsman of the Century, the runaway winner was Gary. His affable nature; his devotion to the development of the game; his current involvement in course design and his well traveled status (Gary has clocked up 14 million miles in air travel) have all contributed to his assumed title as South Africa’s Best Ambassador. Added to this, in 2001 he was named “The World Golf Hall of Fame’s Global Ambassador.” But Gary has never had political
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aspirations. He has very seldom expressed his views on South African politics in public which has endeared him to everybody, because he has always had one gospel …. love! He was born November 1, 1935 in Johannesburg, South Africa, the youngest of Harry and Muriel Player’s three children. When he was eight years old his mother died of cancer. His father was often away from home working on the gold mines, but he recognized Gary’s love for golf at a young age, so he borrowed money from the bank to buy Gary a set of clubs when he was thirteen. Gary hit his first few balls at the Virginia Park golf course in Johannesburg. When he was fourteen he did the course and parred the first three holes. By the time he was 17 he had become a fully professional golfer. As soon as he graduated from school he donned his golf shoes and ran off to the nearest golf course. Gary disregarded his peers who all sought college degrees. He didn’t need no extra education! Gary’s golfing career took off like a helium balloon. He played regularly on the U.S. based PGA tour from the late 1950’s, leading the money list in 1961, going on to accumulate 24 career titles. He held the record for most victories in the World Match Play Championship, with five wins, from 1973 until 1991 when this feat was equaled by Seve Ballesteros, finally losing his share of the record in 2004, when Ernie Els won the event for a sixth time. Gary was the only player in the 20th century to win the British Open in three different decades, an achievement that started in 1959 at Muirfield, where he double bogeyed the last hole. Thinking that he had lost, he broke down in tears, but none of the remaining players on the course could match the clubhouse lead that he had set. Today, at the age of 72, Gary is still active in seniors’ golf and he has been the proud architect of 300 golf course design projects around the world. His business interests are represented by Black Night International, which includes Gary Player Design, Gary Player Real Estate and Gary Player Enterprises, aspects of which include licensing, publishing, videos, apparel and memorabilia. The Gary Player Stud Farm in Colesburg, Cape Province, South Africa
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South African has received worldwide acclaim for breeding top thoroughbred race horses, including 1994 English Derby entry Broadway Flyer. In addition, Gary operates The Player Foundation with its primary objective to promote education around the world. In 1983 he established the Blair Atholl Schools in Johannesburg which has educational facilities for more than 500 students from kindergarten through 8th grade. Gary is happily married to his wife
Vivienne and they spend their time in two homes, one based at Jupiter Island, Florida, USA (close to the PGA tour?) and the other in Colesberg, South Africa at their thoroughbred horse breeding ranch. Gary has appointed his eldest son Marc as the director of Black Knight International, the company that runs his commercial interests. Gary’s brother, Dr Ian Player became known as a world renowned wildlife conservationist who saved the white rhino from extinction. Gary, you are still making an indelible mark on this world in so many ways. To hail you as a South African makes us all so proud. Keep up the good work!
“SALARIES vs WAGES”
We present some vital information for new immigrants on important employment issues written by Crown Recruitment employment consultants: Salaries, wages, and related employment costs are often large and important line items for all businesses. Most Surveys and Statistics are a year behind on earnings. The best way to find out is to build a relationship with a company that has its finger on the market pulse that works with everyday earnings. Salary surveys and statistics on economic trends can be useful guides to estimating these figures. Surveys are conducted by professional organizations, industry publications, governments, and professional placement firms. They are used only as a guide, because the amount of pay usually depends on the employment agreement, experience and qualifications, and the employer’s employment policies. There are also significant regional differences in average earnings. Most people begin their work life earning an Hourly Wage. A salary is not offered unless and until you have achieved a certain level of experience and skills in the work world. This explains why there seems to be a different degree of “status” that goes along with the two different payment methods. However that’s not really true Neither position is any less or more important than the other. In fact, each supports and depends on the other, and they’re both important to the success of any business. As with most things in life, there are pro’s and con’s to both of these payment methods.
Hourly wages When you work a position that pays an Hourly Wage, you’re guaranteed a certain dollar amount for each and every hour you work and most of these positions have a set number of hours you’re expected to work per week. The down-side to this type of payment method can be that you’ll lose money if you lose time at work. Unless - It’s covered by your employer’s policies on sick leave, personal time or vacation time. The up-side to getting an Hourly Wage can be if you have the chance to work more than 40 hours per week. Then you’ll get what’s known as “overtime”. (Explained in the next paragraph.) When you work in a position that pays an Hourly Wage, if you work more than 40 hours per week, you’ll be paid “time and a half” on each extra hour. Occasionally you may be paid “double time” on holidays and some other times
decided by employers. (If you’re not familiar with how “time and a half” works, what it means is you take your regular hourly rate, divide it by half and add that to your regular hourly rate. For example, if your regular hourly rate is $5.00, half of that is $2.50. Then $5.00 + $2.50 = $7.50 and that’s what you’ll be paid for every hour over 40 hours. “Double time” means you double your hourly rate.) So you can see how this can be a real plus! If your employer has the need for you work a good deal of overtime, or on holidays, etc., you can make quite a bit more money! (Ah - But just remember - The more you make, the more Taxman Bob takes)
Salary When you work in a position that pays on a Salary basis, you’re also guaranteed a certain dollar amount per week. The difference comes in the number of hours you work. (Most of these positions have an agreed number of hours you’re expected to work each week.) The down-side to this type of payment method can be that you find your position demands you work more than 40 hours per week and on holidays. Note - You won’t get any overtime or double time. The up-side can be if you’re able to get all of your work done, (and done well), in less than 40 hours per week. Because as agreed, you’ll get the same amount of money. While there can be a few more “perks” to getting a Salary, depending on what employers offer, what you’ve seen here are the basic differences between the two payment methods. These two types of payment methods have pro’s and con’s for employers as well. Based on a number of factors to run their business successfully, they decide which positions offer which type of payment.
Bottom line.... As you go about Earning a Living, you’ll need to decide for yourself just which of these two types of payment methods works best for you. And as with all other aspects involved in Earning a Living, take the time to really research the details of any position. Then you can be sure you’re making the best choice. For more information regarding Salaries and Wage feel free to call
Crown Recruitment Ltd “Providers of Highly Skilled and Qualified Trade, Technical and Engineering Staff New Zealand Wide” www.crown.co.nz Tel: (09) 476 4036
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South African After presenting “Karate Teen: Dominique Foster in Issue 5 we have had a call to do a regular teen feature. If you are aged 13 to 19, please send us your contributions on any topic that would interest teenagers. We are also looking for a ‘Teen Editor’.. any takers? You will then join the prestigious “Power Teen Club”. Here is our first double feature:
My kind of paradise Thirteen year old Amy Stockenstroom renders her thoughts about her favourite city… only one year after arriving!
hen we talk about our favourite place, or “slice of paradise”, most people instantly picture an island, beach or forest.
My “slice of paradise” is quite different; my favourite place is Auckland city. This city is an exciting place. Especially at night, the bright lights blind you. It’s busy, loud and “happening.” You can either go by ferry, bus or even a car, but we usually catch a ferry in, as it’s very busy and hard to find a parking! When you get there you can walk around to all the interesting shops, or go to the yummy restaurants. If you are too tired to walk you can take the free bus that drives around the main streets of the city. When I’m there, or even looking at the city from the distance, I can see the tall sky tower and all the big buildings. I can see all the shops and restaurants. I see the people scurrying past. I can see the cyclists going past, and motorists. I see the decorations at Christmas time and hear the traditional Christmas Carols, and watch the people carrying armfuls of shopping. I can see the sale signs in the shop windows. Couples sitting in the cozy coffee shops sipping on their warm drinks. There are many different noises in the city. I hear the ferry’s horn blowing. I hear the people chatting, some shouting. I can hear the music playing, the people humming or whistling, the car wheels screeching or drivers angrily blowing their horns at the slow paced pedestrians. ‘Ka-ching’ goes the sound of the cash registers in the shops as they take money from paying customers. The smells… the yummy bakeries, coffee shops and restaurants. I can smell peoples breath as they walk past, and their perfumes, their colognes. Some people carry the smell of stale cigarettes and alcohol. Yuck!
Marisna Roodt showjumping
My favourite part of visiting the city is the shopping!!! There are SO many interesting shops to look at and cool things to buy. Things to touch are the different textiles and fabrics of the clothes and accessories. The traffic lights are controlled by touch as I wait to cross the road. I touch the buttons of a payphone as I dial someone’s phone number. I think the city is a wonderful place although some people may not agree. I LOVE to stare out of the car window as we drive across the Harbor Bridge at night. Auckland City is truly a beautiful place, and although not my place of SA Directlink Tax Ad.pdf 4/8/08 birth, it will 0350 always have a special place in my heart.
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Success Story M
arisna Roodt is a highly accomplished equestrian athlete who has represented her school, Long Bay College in her Equestrian Team numerous times this year. Her father, Herman Roodt is very proud of her achievements. They have had a number of victories which ranks Marisna amongst one of the most successful equestrian teenagers in New Zealand today. Well done, Marisna! Keep up the good work.
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SA’s Casino King conquers the world
we highlight the iconic career of one of south africa’s greatest hotel magnates By Ted Woodberg
he mind boggles when we consider how much this little Jewish man from Jo’burg has achieved in his illustrious lifetime. He must have spent most of his holidays as a child with his Russian immigrant parents in Durban, South Africa, because his first deal involved the purchase of the Astra Hotel, Broad Street, Durban. The Astra was a run down, flea-bag of a hotel at the bottom end of Durban, far from the beachfront. Sol must have picked it up at a bargain price. Sol’s career began in accountancy, so he knew precious little about running hotels when he made this acquisition. He quickly learned the simple rules of good hotelier ship and turned the C-grade establishment into a high quality venue for tourists of South Africa’s “Gold Coast” who weren’t able to afford the luxury of a beachfront hotel. But Sol knew that the big profits would only come from venues closer to the sea views, so after he sold the Astra he put all of his money into a beachfront project which became Durban’s first “Southern Sun” hotel. Thus began a joyride that has seen this highly creative man produce holiday venues throughout the world that have set unsurpassed standards in the hotel and casino industry. Sol’s next big venture was closer to his heart. He knew that big money tourists loved to gamble, but South Africa’s restrictive gambling laws of the 1980’s precluded him from putting casinos into his local hotels. But the ugly politics of the time made his next move
JIM PRETORIUS B.Ch.D M.Ch.D (Pret)
ORTHODONTIST Suite 3 • North Shore Medical Centre 326 Sunset Road • Mairangi Bay Auckland 10 • New Zealand Telephone: Surgery 09 479-7963 • Home 09 410-8768 Fax: 09 479-7941
highly fortuitous. The SA government had created a number of “homelands” which were supposed to “belong” to the disenfranchised black people of the country. The laws in these “homelands” were different to those that applied in the rest of the country, and, fortunately for Sol, the laws allowed gambling casinos. So he took a helicopter ride over a beautiful valley that was part of an enclave close to Johannesburg in a newly Sun City Resort created black state called “Boputatswana.” The geotechnical reports revealed that the valley had a rock strata base that would support large quantities of water. Sol consulted with a variety of engineers before he decided to flood the valley with water from a nearby river. The results were spectacular. The valley soon had its own system of interconnected lakes that Sol turned into one of South Africa’s most famous holiday resorts, SUN CITY. Being unrestricted by South Africa’s draconian casino laws, Sun City soon became the “Las Vegas” of Southern Africa, drawing tourists from every corner of the country. The valley was an ideal setting for a golf course, so Sol employed the skills of the best designers in the world to produce a course that has placed Sun City on the international golfing circuit. Sun City has grown over the years into a series of hotel complexes. The final phase, known as “The Lost City” depicts an ancient structure that could have been inhabited by an African civilization lost in history. Kerzner has often been questioned about his use of the word “sun” in the naming of a number of his international resorts. His first name, Solomon, shortened to “Sol” means “sun” in most of the European languages, and
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he wanted his resorts to depict sunshine and pleasure. Clever boy! His most memorable hotel/casino achievements include:“The Atlantis” in the Bahamas. “Atlantis on the Palm” in Dubai. The “Mohegan Sun” in Connecticut, featuring local Indian tribal idealogy. He has designed other resorts in Mauritius, the Maldives and Mexico. Sol was named “Hotelier of the World” by Hotels magazine in 2004. He plans to return to South Africa with a luxurious six-star hotel in the Victoria and Alfred Waterfront in Cape Town estimated to cost more than R450 million. Sol, born 23rd August 1935, has had a number of relationships over the years which have included Anneline Kriel, S A winner of Miss World in 1974. He is currently happily married to Heather Murphy, but Sol has had to recover from the recent death of his only heir and son, Howard (Butch) Kerzner who died on 11th October 2006 when the helicopter he was traveling in crashed near Sosua, Puerto Plata, South America. Sol, we grieve with you, but what you have done around the world makes us proud as South Africans. Don’t stop!
SURVIVAL GUIDE for SAFFERS fresh off the boat/ Boeing 747
“Emigration is really tough” – I’m sure you heard that a lot when you decided to pack up your life and move to the other side of the world. “We had friends who went for a year and now they’re back” – I’m sure you heard that too. Like us, you probably shook off the warnings and decided that you knew it would be tough, but you would do it anyway. The warnings cannot prepare you for the harsh reality of starting life over in a foreign country. It is probably one of the toughest things you will ever do, but when the going gets tough, a Saffer gets tougher! Below are a few tips for surviving your first year as an immigrant:
1 2 3 4 Our co-editor, Ted Woodberg, visited his son, Edward, in South Africa recently and was amazed to hear that just after his departure, his son had met with an icon of history, Nelson Mandela. Here is the picture of Edward and Madiba, as he led him through to his unit at Tintswalo Lodge, mid-Rand, Gauteng, where Edward is the facilities manager.”
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Make a list of all the reasons why you left SA and whenever you wonder whether you’ve made the right decision, read your list. There is no doubt. You have definitely made the right decision. Gather your family in the lounge and sing “Nkosi S’kelele Afrika” as loudly as you can. If you’re battling with the words, skip to “Uit die blou van ons se Hemel”; Follow this with your own rendition of the Haka; Watch the Springboks beat the All Blacks (this is not a regular occurrence so you need to plan your viewing carefully. A prerecorded game with a suitable result, may be your best bet); Visit a South African shop and stock up: Nik Naks, Frittos, a big stick of Tong, Peppermint Crisp, Savanna Dry and Klippies. Eat and drink everything in one go until you feel ill. This will cure you of your Boere cravings…for a little while, anyway; Check your friends’ status updates on Facebook – at least one will mention a recent incident of crime in SA; Take a walk along the beachfront in the Eastern Bays – you can’t beat the view and feeling of tranquillity; Take a drive – anywhere – and marvel at the lack of homicidal taxis on the road; Buy a gas barbeque – one too many braais extinguished by rain can result in serious depression; Invest in a good webcam and chat regularly to your friends and family in SA; Make an effort to call New Zealand home and it will soon become home.
Most importantly, when the weather starts to get to you…dance in the rain – a lot!
by Michelle Jordan 15
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FULL MOON OVER AFRICA Our intrepid co-editor, Ted Woodberg, has just returned from a glorious 3 week holiday in South Africa. While he was there he recorded his experiences and made some conclusions about life in the “old country.” Here is his story.
By Ted Woodberg
y first visit back to my “homeland” after emigrating here two years ago was amazing!
I spent some real quality time with my family and in between the internal flights from Johannesburg to Durban I managed to squeeze in a few days at my favourite place, the Kruger National Park. And what a time I had! Every night our entire camp was bathed in the heavenly light of a full moon which brought all the campers out of their rondavels (huts) and tents into the centre of the camp for a party almost every night! Our regular routine would be to go on a “night safari” from 5pm to 8pm each night where we would all crowd onto a 12-seater safari truck with open sides and a canvas roof. There was no need for jerseys. The daily temperature in the park ranged from 17 at night to a gorgeous 30 degrees during the day; so we spent our time in shorts, T shirts and sandals.
And as we left the camp the wild life were waiting for us! The African game rangers who led our safari knew exactly where to go to show us the “Big Five” of Africa. The Big Five were identified many years ago by European hunters who came to Africa and judged them on their difficulty to hunt and how dangerous they were to the average hunter. That is why we do not have giraffe or zebra amongst the big five. Despite their size and proliferation, they were easy to hunt and did not pose a risk to the hunters. But the Big Five, namely the rhino, the elephant, the buffalo, the lion and the leopard,were a major challenge to the hunters of long ago. If you want to remember the Big Five, use my acronym, REBLL for Rhino, Elephant, Buffalo, Lion and Leopard. Within 100 metres of the camp gate we observed elephants grazing and buffalos roaming around in the cool of the evening. As the glow of the sun faded in the west, the full moon rose in the east, giving us the light we needed to track down and identify the most dangerous wild life in Africa. We spotted rhino grazing peacefully amongst a herd of zebra against a pink sunset and further into our safari we saw a plethora of antelope, gazelles, impala, wildebeest, duikers and springbok. As our first night safari drew to a close, we were amazed to find a whole pride of lions in a group, going about their evening ablutions, mutual grooming and socializing. We sat hushed in our seats, not daring to venture from our vehicle; our cameras flashing like crazy. The dominant male did not seem to mind. He was probably sick of the sight of tourists! He did get up and growl at us, but he was just showing off in front of his diffident group of ladies, who just sat and stared nonchalantly at our vehicle. Before we returned to camp we were rewarded by a most magnificent sight. Sitting all alone against an outcrop of rocks was the most beautiful creature you ever saw. A full grown African leopard. By this time it was dark and we had to use the headlamps of the vehicle to capture the beauty
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of this rare African specimen. The animal yawned and stretched as our cameras clicked and flashed furiously. Bored by our presence, it rose, turned and disappeared into the dark with a flick of its tail. The whole bus exploded with joy and cheers as we headed back to base camp. Then the party started! We dragged our tables out of our rondavels and placed them in the centre of the camp. The “klippies and coke” started flowing and before you could reach for your next Castle everyone was singing “Sarie Marais” at the top of their voices. Thank goodness the Kruger Park banned “ghetto blasters” a long time ago. You don’t need commercial music at a time like this. By 10pm we were all through the verses of “Jan Pierewiet” and mindful of the fact that at 5’o’clock the next morning we would be starting our next exciting safari. So we kissed perfect strangers good night and headed for bed. After our first night expedition, we had already forged unforgettable friendships despite the fact that we were amongst French, Dutch, German, Italian and a variety of other foreign tourists. I was based at Pretoriuskop, which is the first camp ever to be established at the Kruger Park. While at the camp you can visit the grave of Andries Pretorius, the great Afrikaans Voortrekker, who died and was buried in the vicinity of the camp while trying to cross to Delagoa Bay, which is now Maputo, Mocambique. My days at the camp were spent mostly around the swimming pool because of the heat, but we were regularly entertained by a troop of vervet monkeys who would visit the pool area and engage in aerial acrobatics through the trees and chase each other across the manicured grass between the other sun bathers, without disturbing anybody. There is a strict rule in all of the Kruger camps that NO animals are to be fed. This means that humans will not be harassed for food and hungry animals will not become aggressive around humans who do not feed them. This means that humans and animals can co-exist in perfect harmony. I saw troops of baboon trailing through the park without even glancing at us. There is no need for lawnmowers in the camps. Beautiful herds of impala
move gracefully across the lawns every day, doing their best to chew the grass down to an acceptable level. The impala are extremely tame, but they will skip away if you try and approach them. But alas! my time in paradise had to come to an end. As I headed back to civilization I was shocked by the refuse that littered the sides of the road along the transit from Numbi Gate to White River. It appears that the city fathers of both White River and Nelspruit, the closest cities to the Kruger Park, are not concerned about the condition of the road that is used by so many foreign tourists to the Park. I had to smile as I passed a sign which read, “Keep Mapumalanga Clean.” The base of the sign was piled high with broken beer bottles and empty plastic and cardboard containers. I was literally traveling through LITTERLAND. A re-cycling business could make a fortune from collecting the litter along the 100 odd kilometer stretch between Numbi and Nelspruit. Sadly, conditions in South Africa have deteriorated somewhat since I departed two years ago. Escom electrical power supply is totally unreliable. Most shopping centres in SA have had to make huge investments in generators that can keep them going while Escom reduce their power supply to the country in planned phases, known as “load shedding.” Reactors at the Koeberg Nuclear Power Station in Cape Town have been closed down because of the lack of maintenance and the enforced “brain drain” of qualified white technicians who have either been retrenched or who have resigned out of frustration. The suburban rail system in Cape Town which I used extensively during my time there as a college lecturer, has now closed down. The main trunk roads are all pot-holed. Concrete freeways are repaired by using cheap tarred patches. The differential rates of expansion between concrete and tar cause the roads to deteriorate even further. The politics of the country is in total disarray. In order to distract the populace from the fact that the economy is in tatters, the Defense Minister, “Terror” Lekota has broken away from the ruling ANC party and is propagating sympathy for ousted president Thabo Mbeki by forming a new political party, which still remains to be named. The SA rand fluctuated from R5.30 to R6.60 to the NZ dollar during the 3 weeks that I was away. We cannot blame all of this on the global meltdown. Crime has gotten worse. Everybody lives behind electric fences. People hide themselves at night in fortified complexes guarded by boom gates manned by three security guards 24/7. Children are not allowed through the boom gates during the day. Drive by shootings of innocent civilians are in the newspapers every day. God help South Africa during the 2010 Soccer World Cup. The proliferation of wealthy tourists mixed with a culture of crime will probably attract the Mafia or the Russian underground. So I breathed a sigh of relief as I stepped off the ‘plane at Auckland International Airport. The only problem was I had to change out of my T-shirt, put on a “jumper” and buy an umbrella. But this is the trade-off for living in a civilised Christian country like New Zealand. Better to be cold and wet than die under a rain of AK 47 bullets!
As our first night safari drew to a close, we were rewarded by a most magnificent sight... sitting all alone against an outcrop of rocks was the most beautiful creature you ever saw - a full grown African leopard
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BUILDING FROM MATAKANA TO MARAETAI There are a number of ex-SA professional people living in NZ who have made their mark on the local market. Here we present prominent architect, Mike Hackner, who has sent us a self-penned story about his successful career on both sides of the globe.
ichael Hackner has been an architect for twenty-eight years. Starting out as a student by working in his father’s firm in Durban, Mike worked his way up the ranks, becoming one of the most respected architects in Cape Town. He was a founding partner of Dennis Fabian, Berman and Hackner, a prominent firm in the city. During this period, Mike was the architect for Bantry Place, an exciting and beautiful project on the Cape Town Atlantic coast. Since its construction in the early nineties it has become a stunning feature of the prestigious Bantry Bay area of Cape Town. Another career highlight was the architectural award for the design of the South African Jewish Museum. At the opening ceremony of the museum, Mike was formally congratulated by President Nelson Mandela This remains one of the proudest achievements of his career, and the award and photograph of him together with Madiba is displayed prominently in his office. Six years ago, Mike decided it was time for a change and another challenge and so he, his wife Linda, and two daughters, came to live in New Zealand. In order to gain a detailed understanding of New Zealand architecture, Mike
worked in an architectural firm for fifteen months. Mike was able to become a registered architect in New Zealand and is a member of the New Zealand Institute of Architects. As a result of Mike’s characteristic determination and work ethic, he has been able to build up his own practice. The practice was formed five years ago. In that short time, it has grown from strength to strength due to Mike’s vast experience in almost all aspects of the profession. Mike has been involved in both commercial and residential projects, designing apartments, new houses and alterations. His projects have spanned Auckland, from Matakana to Maraetai. New Zealand architecture makes use of timber framing and weatherboard housing which became second nature to Mike as a result of his years as an architect in Cape Town. He used to specialise in wooden structures when he was involved in the construction and renovation of bungalows perched on the rocky cliffs of Clifton Beach, Cape Town. Clifton was recently voted amongst the top five most beautiful beaches in the world. Mike’s architectural preference leans towards the more modernist, clean style, yet he retains gentleness and softness to his work which is often missing in modernist architecture. He also ensures that his buildings complement the surrounding settings and landscape, rather than working against them. Due to his experience and unique sensibilities, he is always
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South African able to create exactly what the client envisioned, while maintaining his style. His influence shines through. Mike combines corporate experience with a personal and dedicated approach to his work and to his clients. In all his designs, Mike is able to mirror the style and temperament of his clients. These personal touches, and a feeling that he really cares and is invested in the project, is what makes Mike so popular. It is all this, combined with his laid-back and famously friendly nature which makes Mike an exemplary and sought after architect.
If you would like to contact Mike, he is available as follows: Mobile: 021 459 110; DD: 09-580 1914; e-mail: email@example.com or you may wish to visit his website at www.hackner.co.nz.
Mike Hackner Architects e firstname.lastname@example.org m (021) 459 110 p (09) 580 1914 f (09) 579 3276
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THE SOUTH AFRICAN MUSIC SCENE
JUST JINJER - JUST AMAZING!
By Ted Woodberg
rom South Africa’s best selling rock band EVER to the opening act for U2, Counting Crows, Toto and Hootie and the Blowfish, this humble band from Jo’burg has certainly come a long way.
Africa was emerging from a dearth of good local talent that could compete effectively with the rest of the western world. A third studio album, Here’s to you (1999) was met with similar success and helped to broaden the group’s fan base. But then, the inevitable happened. They ran away from home. The first time I saw Just Jinjer they were performing in a tent on a soccer I remember so many SA bands of the last century making it big at home ground in the Bluff, Durban, South Africa. It was 1996, a few months after and then running overseas either to the UK or the USA and then flopping. they had formed. They were trying out These groups hoped to reach the world the local gigs in the rough parts of stage with their special brand of music, Durban, hoping to attract a following. but the magic ingredients weren’t They were accomplished musicians there. and I was blown away by their tight Just Jinjer have been one of the performances. few SA band exports to try this and Within weeks of the release of their succeed. first album, All Comes Round, (1997) I They are now billed as a “ San made sure that I had a copy on my CD Francisco band” after sellout front-act rack. performances in London and Dubai in Their debut album shook the 2004. They signed up with Grammy foundations of the SA rock music genre Award-winning record producer David of the time because they appealed to Bianco in Los Angeles in 2005 and such a wide audience. My teenage kids released a brand new album in 2006 loved it, and ageing rockers like myself simply titled “Just Jinjer,” a compilation couldn’t resist their new style that of old and new material. Just Jinger in full swing blended progressive rock ballads with In December 2006 Just Jinjer came The 2006 SA audience, Camps Bay, pounding African rhythms. Their first home for a cross-country tour of South release broke all South African debut Africa to sellout audiences in Cape sales records (240 000 units) and they Town, Johannesburg and Durban. emerged on to the South African music Just Jinger (check the spelling!) stage with much aplomb. started out in 1996 with band members I will never forget their magic Art Matthews, Danie Van Rensburg, performances at the Splashy Fen Music Anthony Galatis and Tuxx Mothomme. Festivals of the late nineties where they When they arrived in the USA in 2002, were held hostage on the stage by a they knew that they had to change the mesmerized audience. spelling of their name to avoid wrong They appeared at the Festival three pronunciation. So they became “Just years in a row and became household Jinjer” to avoid the confusion! Art Matthews names as a result. Art Matthews has been the core Their second album Something for member of the group, composing all of Now, released in late 1998 turned platinum in just three weeks. South their music. The band has seen many changes since settling in America and their current line-up includes Art on vocals and acoustic guitar, Brent Harris (drums), Denholm Harding (bass guitar), and a new recruit, French-born American Sandy Chila on lead guitar. And the international community has not forgotten their South African identity because they appeared on stage with that incredibly multicultural band Freshlyground from Cape Town at the Kensington Olympia, London on Sunday 28th September 2008. The show was aptly titled “TOAST SOUTH AFRICA” and was a sellout concert. Thank you, London, and thank you Just Jinjer. You have made us proud.
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SOUTH AFRICAN CHRISTMAS PARTY North Shore Immigration Services are sponsoring an event of note! On Friday 5th December 2008, if you are of South African descent you are welcome to a Christmas Party that will blow you away! We have South African DJ’s who will keep you going on some incredible stuff from the home country. We have negotiated a discount on beer and wine from the owners and we can do a meal @ $10 per person. (that’s cheap!) Wow! Come on guys! Please support this function! Maybe you will meet Jannie or Sannie from your school days in SA! From 6pm to late at Cranks Bar at the old Stadium Bar at Don McKinnons Drive, Albany, opposite Placemakers. See you there!
TIME FOR A LAUGH
Why did the Rainbow Chicken cross the ocean? Ex-SA home improvements expert Chris Thom loves satire on South Africa and he calls it SA-tire. Here is his diatribe.
outh Africans who stay put have a fraught relationship with South Africans who leave to live overseas. It’s an interesting mixture of envy and contempt, even a sense of betrayal. Hence the term ‘Chicken Run.’ Mandela once said,” Those who have not got the courage and patriotism to remain in their country – let them go. It’s good riddance.” And since the mid-nineties thousands of “chickens” crossed the oceans to safer shores. Hospital wards from Auckland to Aberdeen to Abu-Dhabi are filled with doctors and nurses from S.A. - who are all making a good living, and surprisedly, are still alive! Big cheers for all of those .South African expats who are responsible for spreading Ouma rusks and biltong around the world, and, of course, boerewors cooked on donkie- drolle charcoal. Meanwhile South Africans back home comfort themselves by listing Pratley Putty and Kreepy Krauly as a reason to be proudly South African. It’s as though this has to compensate for 40% unemployment and drug resistant TB, but hey, whatever floats your boat my china! The ex-pats are always asking:”Can you bring me a bottle of Mrs Ball’s chutney?” “No….you left, so we get to eat the ‘Balls’ chutney. Sorry there will be no chutney in Putney.” “How’s Cape Town?” ‘’I’m not telling you …you left.” For those who used to live in Cape Town, it is a typical African city with hotels that have air conditioners that don’t work and staff that don’t want to serve you. It is an interesting blend of first world affluence with third world squalor. After the multi-billion arms deal that made all the politicians rich, one
is tempted to ask the question: “What do they need guns and bombs for…. who is going to invade them? The army is 60% HIV positive….all they’ve got to do is bite their enemy to death! You know you are South African when you can’t even go on a business trip to Aussie without somebody saying knowingly: “Oh, having a look around, are you?” I even went and had a look around New Zealand, but it was closed..... must’ve been after 16h30. Rainbow Chickens Ltd. has just succeeded in cloning the three legged chicken. The Africa Bank has sponsored this project from the word go. The intention is to enable five children families to get at least a leg or a wing at suppertime. They asked the CEO of Rainbow Chickens how the production and sales were going, to which he replied: “Not too good….we haven’t been able to catch them yet!”
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Apologies for Apartheid This was a reply to an article, in the Mercury (last week), where the previously disadvantaged (Blacks) stated that it’s not too late for the previously advantaged (including whites, Indians and Coloureds) to apologise for apartheid. Check out the reply. Just too hot and so true. Did anyone read the paper last week (Mercury) where the main headline stated the following? It’s not too late for whites to say sorry for apartheid............. Check the email that went around responding to the headline. It’s a kick ass response.!!! ‘To the Previously Disadvantaged’ We are sorry that our ancestors were intelligent, advanced and daring enough to explore the wild oceans to discover new countries and develop them. We are sorry that those who came before us took you out of the bush and taught you that there was more to life than beating drums, killing each other and chasing animals with sticks and stones. We are sorry that they planned, funded and developed roads, towns, mines, factories, airports and harbours, all of which you now claim to be your long deprived inheritance giving you every right to change and rename these at your discretion. We are sorry that our parents taught us the value of small but strong families, to not breed like rabbits and end up as underfed, diseased, illiterate shack dwellers living in poverty. We are sorry that when the evil apartheid government provided you
with schools, you decided they’d look better without windows or in piles of ashes. We happily gave up those bad days of getting spanked in our all white schools for doing something wrong and much prefer these days of freedom where problems can be resolved with knives and guns. We are sorry that it is hard to shake off the bitterness of the past when you keep on raping, torturing and killing our friends and family members, and then hide behind the fence of ‘human rights’ with smiles on your faces. We are sorry that we do not trust the government. We have no reason to be so suspicious because none of these poor hard working intellectuals have ever been involved in any form of corruption or ‘irregularities’. We are sorry that we do not trust the police force and, even though they have openly admitted that they have lost the war against crime and criminals, we should not be negative and just ignore their corruption and carry on hoping for the best. We are sorry that it is more important to you to have players of colour in our national teams than winning games and promoting patriotism. We know that sponsorship doesn’t depend on a team’s success. We are sorry that our border posts have been flung open and now left you competing for jobs against illegal immigrants from our beautiful neighbouring countries. All of those countries that have grown into economic powerhouses after kicking out the ‘settlers’. We are sorry that we don’t believe in witchcraft, beetroot and garlic cures, urinating on street corners, virginity testing, slaughtering of bulls in our back yards, trading women for cattle and other barbaric practices. Maybe we just grew up differently. We are sorry that your medical care, water supplies, roads, railways and electricity supplies are going down the toilet because skilled people who could have planned for and resolved these issues had to be thrown away because they were of the wrong ethnic background and now have to work in foreign countries where their skills are more needed. We are so sorry that we’d like this country to fulfil its potential so we can once again be proud South Africans. The Previously Advantaged’ Ps. In the old regime...we had lights and water
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The SA issue6.indd 23
13/11/08 4:50:26 PM
NORTH OTEHA VALLEY ROAD
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The SA issue6.indd 24
MON & TUES WED, THUR & FRI SATURDAY SUNDAY
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13/11/08 4:50:33 PM
Published on Dec 1, 2008
Published on Dec 1, 2008
The South African Magazine provides current, high quality, relevant editorial on subjects relating to the links between South Africa and New...