Career Or Family? What If Your Dream Is to Have Both!! BY KRISTA WELLS, THE MILITARY SPOUSE COACH® When I dropped my kids off at preschool, I thought I would see my new coaching clients from 9–12 and then be a mommy for the rest of the day… but the clients I was attracting to my business also had day jobs and wanted to come at 6pm! What?! It was hard to see how I could ever be successful at motherhood and grow a business, much less have a long-term dream. In hindsight, I realized I needed to plan less and trust more. Focusing on military family life and a career isn't easy, so take it slow and be gentle with yourself during each stage of your career journey. When I think back to the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I don't remember saying I want to be a part-time life coach for military spouses and drive my four kids around in circles to school, sports, and religion, but that is my life right now. When my four kids were little and my spouse was away for reserve weekends, I had moments where I was envious of single friends climbing the corporate ladder; however, I continued to take baby steps toward my longer-term career goals. I set doable goals like getting three new clients, starting blogging for military spouse magazine, and attending Toastmasters. Although those goals weren't big, they were my way to keep one foot moving forward at a time towards my dream of becoming a published author. When I'd tuck my four kids into bed at night, I'd make up stories with hopes of publishing one someday. I wasn't sure if I wanted to write a children's book or a military spouse coaching book, but I dreamed of my name in print as I tucked Rosemary Wells' book back on the kid's shelf.
When my military spouse coaching business slowly filled up with private clients, I decided that the next logical step was to start working on this coaching book to reach a broader military spouse audience. (Why?) But, as a working mom raising four kids, I found excuse after excuse to put off this far-off business "dream." Meanwhile, I was teaching my life-coaching clients that there are two ways to achieve a goal: write it down or believe it will happen. One way is to set aside time every day and take action aimed at that goal, and the other way is more organic. The other way involves acting "as if" you were the person who had already accomplished the goal that you'd like to achieve. For example, how would I approach my business and clients if I had a book? If I had the perfect job, what would my day-to-day tasks entail? I used to tell my life coach that my "ideal day" likely included browsing the library shelves for research, maybe having lunch with a friend, brainstorming the next steps for my business, and then motivating others to follow their bliss. I would tell my clients that, even if they couldn't quit their paying job to pursue this ideal lifestyle, they should try and weave elements of their "future self" into the present. I did this; I replaced "I should" with "I feel like."