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April 16, 2018

(306) 825-5694 labean@sasktel.net The views or opinions expressed in The Weekly Bean are not necessarily those of the publisher.

As I sat at a dinner theatre Friday evening the first of many text messages came in, saying that the Humboldt Broncos’ bus had been in an accident on the way to a playoff game in Nipawin.. The text message from a hockey friend simply said “It’s bad”, another radio friend texted saying “I’m in shock” In 2018 bad news travels fast. You’ve all heard that hockey is a tight-knit community. Saskatchewan is a tight-knit community. So throw them both together and you’ve got a tragedy that seemingly has affected everyone in this province. Colossal devastation. Finding out more and more details over the weekend only made you feel worse. It was a disaster beyond our worst nightmare. As officials said during Saturday’s news conference at the Uniplex, “First Responders came upon things they’ll never be able to forget.” I didn’t know those Humboldt Broncos players personally, but I knew them. I have played hockey and for the last, close to 20 years I have managed hockey and have spent what feels like more than half my life on a bus going somewhere. So Junior hockey players are all the same and they’re my favourite people on the planet. Positive, happy, and full of life. Until they’re not. And what some of those players went through Friday night can’t be put into words. What is there to be grateful for? We should “thank our lucky stars” for what? Being grateful today seems selfish while families are grieving the loss of their sons, fathers, husbands, brothers, boyfriends and friends. They are NEVER coming home again. What are the odds of two vehicles of that size, travelling at that rate of speed, colliding at that split second in conditions that are clear as a bell? It almost seems pre-determined by some twisted divine intervention, but then you’re ashamed for even thinking as much. When I woke up Saturday morning, it seemed that the bright sun had indeed come up and it was confirmation that the world isn’t going to stop turning. It just stopped for these 15 souls. We will heal - together – and it will happen one day at a time. Greg Buchanan ~ For The Weekly Bean


Mom ments & Mem mories

www w.lcyc.cc

The Lloydminste L er Communitty Youth Cenntre (LCYC C) has plenty to offer teenns 12-18 yearss of age! LC CYC providees a safe, acccepting, and fun environm ment for all youth. Our current c addreess is 4201 47 4 Avenue (O Old RCMP B Building). LCY YC hours: Wednnesday 3:00pm - 9:000pm (2:00 pm m -7:00 pm on early dissmissal days)) Thurssday 3:00pm - 9:000pm Fridaay 3:00pm - 11:000pm Saturrday 6:00pm - 10:000pm Transportation iss provided too LCYC on Wednesdayss, Thursdays ys, and Fridaays. School Pick up locations: l Bishoop Lloyd LCHS ES Laird HS HRH Colleege Park Schhool

m 3:00 pm 3:15 pm m 3:30 pm m 3:45 pm m 3:55 pm m

Hot Mealls are offereed on Wednesdays, Thuursdays, and d Fridays @ 5:00 Trannsportation home h is also provided froom LCYC foor youth mem mbers. For a ddetailed list oof times and pplaces for

pickuups, please chheck our Instaagram page @lloydyouthce @ entre. You caan also find prrogram inform mation and reeceive updatess by likking and folloowing us on our o Facebook page at Lloyydminster Com mmunity Youuth Centre.

Updatee  

Rememberr that in orderr for the Youtth Centre to ttransport anyy youth, the youth must haave an  updated an nd complete m membership form signed.  This is for insurance purpposes.  If yourr youth needss  a ride home on his first vvisit, please bbe sure to havve the forms completed.  Forms are available on our  website or can be pickedd up at the ceentre. We havve several ouutings plannedd as the weatther  improves, aand don’t want anyone to miss out duee to an incomplete membeership form! W We will be  doing our SSenior’s Connection this w week and hopeefully some ggeocaching – if weather peermits!   

 

Lloyd dminster Coommunity Y Youth Centrre “Buildingg Our Community… Suppporting Our Youth


SIX SIGNS YOU HAVE A REALLY BAD COLD You look in the mirror and wonder; What’s Keith Richard’s doing here? You get a thank you note from the president of KLEENEX Your eyelashes ache You’ve taken to frying bacon on your forehead The label on your favorite cold medicine read “This won’t help at all you poor wretch.” TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR FUTURE. At Lakeland, we have an online education for you! • • • • • •

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Share your voice on cannabis and more on April 19 You may have heard news about the anticipated legalization of cannabis in Canada; this new legislation is expected to become law later this year and will have a broad effect on our community. City Administration is working diligently, preparing for the new federal and provincial legislation and examining what it means for Lloydminster moving forward. The introduction of legalized cannabis will affect residents on both sides of the city in different ways; this is, of course, is nothing new for us. Our bi-provincial nature provides many interesting opportunities and challenges for all new legislation. To meet these challenges, the City is reshaping a number of bylaws affecting all residents based on which side of the border they reside. The revised bylaws that received first reading at the March 26, 2018 City Council meeting included: • Smoking Bylaw • Business License Bylaw • Traffic Bylaw (includes Dangerous Goods Routes, schools zones, and bike safety) • Community Standards Bylaw Many of the bylaws have to be updated to include cannabis and how the community will meet residents’ interests and concerns. Additionally, the Traffic Bylaw has been brought forward to improve road safety in our community. Your Council and Administration are looking forward to the upcoming ‘Your Voice Night’ at the LloydMall on April 19 as an opportunity to connect with residents and address specific questions and concerns. Learn more at www.lloydminster.ca/yourvoice. Mayor Gerald S. Aalbers, City of Lloydminster


STOP AND SMELL THE SOFTENER

I had spent the late winter months waiting impatiently for signs of spring. When the first warm, sunny Saturday arrived, I eagerly unlocked the storm door and stepped onto our patio deck. I was pleased by the sight of green sprouts and the sounds of singing birds. More than anything else, I delighted in the sweet aroma of the spring air. Knocking on the kitchen window, I beckoned to my wife to join me in enjoying the pleasures of the season. She quietly brought me back to earth when she reminded me that I was standing over the dryer vent, inhaling the scent of fabric softener. “I am driving a Smart car, you know, the very tiny one. But I don’t do it much, because it’s too dangerous. I could get run over by a pedestrian.” ---------------------------------------------

A commercial boasted that its product could help people live pain-free in their golden years. “Am I in my golden years?” my wife, 63, asked. “Not at all,” I assured her. “But you are yellowing fast.” ----------------------------------------------------“I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone”.


PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING I don’t do windows because ... I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. I don’t wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I’ll feel terrible. I don’t mind the dust bunnies because ... They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say. I don’t disturb cobwebs because… I want every creature to have a home of their own. I don’t Spring Clean because ... I love all the seasons and don’t want the others to get jealous. I don’t pull weeds in the garden because… I don’t want to get in God’s way, HE is an excellent designer! I don’t put things away because. .. My husband will never be able to find them again. I don’t do gourmet meals when I entertain because. … I don’t want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner. I don’t iron because ... I choose to believe them when they say “Permanent Press”.


KITCHEN SIGNS 1. Kitchen closed – – this chick has had it! 2. Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!! 3. I’m creative; you can’t expect me to be neat too! 4. So, this isn’t Home Sweet Home… Adjust! 5. Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer Do it yourself! 6. I clean house every other day…. Today is the other day! 7. If you write in the dust, please don’t date it! 8. I would cook dinner, but I can’t find the can opener! 9. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it! 10. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

When it’s your turn to host a gathering and your guests ask what they can bring, tell them dark socks and low expectations.


Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents: Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL. Son: Why is that funny? Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean? Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud. Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry. Mom: WTF! Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means? Mom: Well That’s Fantastic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Every time you get Mom: What do IDK, LY & the urge to clean, TTYL mean? watch Hoarders. Son: I don’t know, love you, You may decide your talk to you later. house isn’t that Mom: OK, I will ask your sister.

dirty after all.”

Actual excuse for being late for work My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm I had to go to bingo I got locked in my trunk by my son My husband thinks its funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work My left turn signal was out, so I had to make all right turns to get to work A groundhog bit my tire and made it flat I got locked in my garage


Looking for a Spring Break ‘Instagram worthy’ quote? “Suns out, guns out.” “Spring break? Alpaca my bags!” “Sea the beauty in life.” “Shake your palm palms.” “Don’t let the tide get you down.” “Aloha beaches.” “We shore are going to have a great time!” “Beach please.” “I am one fine-apple.” “Single and ready to flamingle.” “Shell we dance?” “Resting beach face.” “You used to call me on my shell phone.” “Whale you be mine?” “Salt in the air, sand in my hair.”

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Will You Buy More Cars During Your Lifetime?  For most of us, car payments will never end until we stop driving.  We will either lease, finance or save our money and pay cash (believe it or not, when you pay cash, you  still have “a car payment” because you must start saving for your next car.) We have been conditioned  to think that these are the only ways we can purchase vehicles over our lifetime.  What if you could recapture the cost of the cars you will purchase during the rest of your life? Would  that interest you?   I’ve been building my private family financing funds over that past five years, and I am now using those  funds to buy my car. The best part is I did it without taking any risk with my money!  Send me an email, and I’ll send you a link to a free copy of “The Bankers’ Secret” audio book, this book  will explain how you can do it too!  “There’s a way to do it better – find it.” – Thomas Edison 


My husband was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter itting in a duck boat in the reeds. My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!” The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”

“Thirty ways to shape up for summer.

Exercise I MIXED RED BULL WITH MY PRE-WORKOUT. NOW I CAN HEAR COLORS. FITBIT MAKES GETTING IN SHAPE AS ADDICTIVE AS CHECKING FACEBOOK AND TWITTER. LIFE HAS ITS UPS AND DOWNS. WE CALL THEM SQUATS EXERCISING WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE FUN IF CALORIES SCREAMED WHEN YOU BURNED THEM PEOPLE WHO THINK A MINUTE GOES BY FAST, HAVE CLEARLY NEVER DONE A PLANK

Number one: eat less.

THAT MOMENT WHEN YOURE ONLY 100 STEPS FROM YOUR FITBIT GOAL AND YOU JOG IN PLACE BEFORE GETTING INTO BED

Number two: exercise more.

I JUST ADDED 2000 STEPS TO MY FITBIT WANDERING THE OFFICE LOOKING FOR DONUTS.

Number three: what was I talking about again? I’m so hungry.”

INSTRUCTORS WHO SAY” LAST ONE” ARE THE REASON I HAVE TRUST ISSUES. I WANT BUNS OF STEEL BUT I ALSO WANT BUNS OF CINNAMON


Ever Notice ? …that …that …that …that

when people say “I want to share something with you,” it’s never money? the harder it is to read a menu. The higher the prices on it are? in the movies, when somebody buys something, they never wait for their change? “price” and “worth” mean the same thing, but “priceless” and “worthless” are opposites?

I was trying to discuss plans for the weekend with my husband and said what I wanted to see An Ideal Husband. Wearily he put down his newspaper “I’m sure you do dear,” he said “But, let’s face it, you’re stuck with me.”

I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous. I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.


Pets on a plane In the same week that a dog perished after a United Airlines flight attendant insisted it be stored in an overhead compartment on a flight from Houston to New York City, another family’s pet was lost by the beleaguered carrier. Irgo, a 10-year-old German shepherd belonging to the Swindle family, was mistakenly sent to Japan instead of Kansas City, Missouri. When Kara Swindle and her children went to pick up their dog on March 13 after flying from Oregon, they were given a Great Dane -- whose destination was supposed to be Japan. The dogs got mixed up in Denver, where they both had connecting flights. Swindle was concerned that her dog wouldn’t survive the long flight back: “He is a 10-year-old dog, and he’s never been on a flight before,” she told KCTV 5 News. However, United had Irgo checked out by a veterinarian in Tokyo and loaded onto a private charter to Wichita, Kansas, where he was reunited with his family on March 15.

I Am Not Dead Yet! Constantin Reliu, 63, appealed unsuccessfully to a court in Barlad, Romania, in March to overturn a death certificate that his wife had obtained after not hearing from him for more than a decade. According to The Guardian, Reliu left Romania for Turkey in 1992 to look for employment, but neglected to keep in touch with his family. In 2003, Reliu’s wife, believing he had died in an earthquake in Turkey, argued in court for a death certificate, which didn’t come to light until Reliu was deported back to Romania because of expired papers in Turkey. Upon his arrival, immigration officers explained to Reliu that he had died in 2003. His appeal failed, as the court maintained he was too late, and the ruling is final, leaving Reliu in an odd state of limbo. “I am officially dead, although I’m alive,” Reliu told Romanian media outlets. “I have no income and because I am listed dead, I can’t do anything.”

“Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.”


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FUN THINGS TO DO IN A CROWDED ELEVATOR WHISTLE THE FIRST SEVEN NOTES OF IT’S A SMALL WORLD INCESSANTLY. SAY ‘DING’ AT EACH FLOOR LISTEN TO THE ELEVATOR WALLS WITH A STETHASCOPE CRACK OPEN YOUR BRIEFCASE OR PURSE AND WHILE PEERING INSIDE ASK “GOT ENOUGH AIR IN THERE?” STAND SILENT AND MOPTIONLESS IN THE CORNER FACING THE WALL, WITHOUT GETTING OFF WHEN ARRIVING AT YOUR FLOOR, GRUNT AND STRAIN TO YANK THE DOORS OPEN, THEN ACT EMBARRASSED WHEN THEY OPEN BY THEMSELVES.


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1. A substance needed by the body for growth, energy, repair and maintenance is called a _______________. A: nutrient B: carbohydrate C: calorie D: fatty acid 2. All of the following are nutrients found in food except A : plasma B: proteins C: carbohydrates D: vitamins 3. A diet high in saturated fats can be linked to which of the following? A: kidney failure B: bulimia C: anorexia D: cardiovascular disease 4. Amylases in saliva begin the breakdown of carbohydrates into __________. A: fatty acids B: polypeptides C: amino acids D: simple sugars

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5. Your body needs vitamins and minerals because ___________. A: they give the body energy B: they help carry out metabolic reactions C: they insulate the body’s organs D: they withdraw heat from the body 6. Food passes through the stomach directly by _________. A: the large intestine B: the small intestine C: the heart D: the pancreas 7. About half of your diet should be made up of __________. A: grains and vegetables B: fruits and milk C: milk and cheese D: fats and sugars 8. A mineral that the body needs to work properly is _____________. A: calcium B: silver C: gold D: lead 1. A, 2. A, 3. D, 4. D, 5. B, 6. B, 7. A, 8. A

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Ounce by ounce, nutritious food costs 10 times more that junk food. Chicken today contains 266% more fat than it did 40 years ago Coconut water can be used in emergencies as a substitute for blood plasma Honey is the only food that will never rot, it can last 3000 years Cheese is the most stolen food in the world The average person in the US eats 35 tonnes of food in their lifetime Airplane food isn’t very tasty as our sense of smell can decrease 20-50% at high altitudes In the US childhood allergies cost nearly $25 billion a year 49% of adults eat one sandwich a day India has the world’s lowest meat consumption per person

Lloydminster April 16  
Lloydminster April 16  
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