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Volume 90 Issue 9, June 13, 2014 1410 NE 66th St. Seattle, WA 98115

The Roosevelt News THE SENIOR ISSUE



the roosevelt news

Superior Seniors Guardian of the Masses Emma Dunlap Bop-It Competition Finalist Adam Houston Sheriff of the Lab Rhian Lindhjem Weiner Dog Enthusiast Madeline Nelson Satan Cole Garry The Real Art Teacher Anna Baldi Self-Proclaimed Chop Stick Mira Fisher LittleKidLover69 John Peterson Golden Monkey Tea Sensei Carmen Abbe The Real Red Head Josie Diether-Martin That Other Red Head Daphne Jacobsen Real-life Assasin Forest Machala That Grin Alec Scully Prime Minister of Narnia Sydney Flynn Spice Girls Background Dancer Spenser Holman Is a Zoo Taylor Sherman Cavalia Star Christina Roux Mission Statement The Roosevelt News aims to represent the diverse student population at Roosevelt. We strive to provide accurate, fair and unbiased news in order to increase reader awareness of issues apparent to the immediate and global community. We are a student-run publication serving students, staff, parents and alumni and are an open forum for opinions of all those we serve. Signed opinion pieces represent the views of the writers and not necessarily those of the Editorial Board. The Roosevelt News accepts signed letters to the editor. Please submit them to Room 235 or Ms. Roux’s mailbox or by email to caroux@seattleschools. org. The Roosevelt News reserves the right to reject any advertisement deemed unacceptable for publication. The Roosevelt News does not run illegal, hateful, or inappropriate advertisements. If you are interested in placing an ad, call (206) 252-4880.

june 13, 2014

This month in The Roosevelt News: 4 5 6 7 8 9

Juniors: choose your destiny (Do’s and Don’t’s) An ode to our teachers

Houston, we have a winner College athletes shine bright like a diamond Senior Destinations Senior Destinations

10 11 12 13 14 15

Forest: the final test Carmen and Daphne: the wise and wonderful Senior haikus and secret crushes

Senior Wills Senior Wills Senior Wills

Senior Wills

Check out senior Sarah Koseff’s parting article on the Roosevelt News blog at

Heard in the Halls

“I just learned yesterday that my great-grandpa was a burlesque dancer” “Woah it’s cold in here; nobody look at my nips”

“After eating a green apple hichew, cherry coke tastes like cheap beer” “I don’t know which face to look at when people wear shirts with faces on them” “And then my best friend stole my Sombrero” “I mean she’s ratchet but I love her” “Do tampons expire?”


@Roosevelt_News: Haiku no. 50 (aka Mira) Cocoa butter seeks The faint and friendly spirit Forty yards from here @thereal__cg: would insta a pic of the musical but unlike most I recognize the horrific lighting and I don’t try to fix it with the toaster filter @thereal__cg: that AP calc test was the local minimum of my life @daphdaphattack: I just tried to wash my hands with toothpaste #issues @thedudejohn: How do I get into the babysitting business? middle school girls have a monopoly on that shit i swear @thedudejohn: Whenever I spill something on my homework I just circle it and label what it was #applejuice The Roosevelt News does not take responsibility for the content of these tweets. The column is intended to present the diverse and possibly inflamatory opinions on Twitter.

Best of Senior Photography

Photo by S. Ayers

Photo by A. de la Iglesia

Photo by S. Shomburg


june 13, 2014

Just do it!

The Ayatollah speaks


oincidences are fascinating. It’s the fourth night of Kiss Me Kate and I am sitting next to an older woman who is very chatty. She is commenting on the talent, the songs, and overall “wow” of the musical. The opportunity and stellar performance by the cast had made quite an impression on her and she tells me she is so amazed us riders have the chance to be involved with something so grand, that she and her daughters never had such an opportunity. “I grew up here and everyone knew that Roosevelt was the best.” I’m continuously agreeing with her, making small talk as one does when they feel a little on the spot and awkward. She asks me my grade and I tell her that I am thankfully nearing the end, ready to leave this all behind. She looks at me in a serious, tilted-head manner, again full of amazement and appreciation for what is before her and says, “Let me tell you something: this only happens once.” As I am truly in the final days of high school, I am of course reminiscent

of my time spent in these halls. I savor each ringing bell, find the quirks of each teacher more and more amusing than annoying, and watch each period slowly pass. But the final thing this woman left me with suddenly seems more meaningful than anything I have heard, no matter how unoriginal I know her statement was. It was her sincerity, her tilted-head, serious tone, and strong glare that made it anything but cliché. It is true: this only happens once. As I think about what has been sitting in front of me the past four years with open arms, classes, people, clubs, sports, I now search for any sign of regret. I completely and honestly have none. I have absorbed all that I could from this building. I know that cannot be said for everyone but the funny thing about regret is that it hits you when its too late to change anything. So this is what I say, what I leave you with, my wise parting words if you will: don’t regret, just do it. I applaud all of you seniors I watched act, dance, and sing their way through the musical for the first time. I see you Joe Bigelow, Shane Gomez, Jake Klees, Dexter Kopas, and all the others: you have been noticed. I don’t expect any of you to seriously contemplate my words of wisdom: to sit down and meditate, have some sort of life-affirming catharsis that tells you, “Tennis, that is my path.” What I guess I hope you do is think about how unbelievably lucky you are to be here, appreciate what is in front of you, notice those who are doing amazing things here, and take advantage of what is right there. And my final insight I will share: listen to strangers. It is astounding how what they say sticks with you far more than what anyone else says to you. Sincerely, Your Ayatollah Dunlap

the roosevelt news


Break the rules Parting advice from JP


s my lackluster senior year winds to a bittersweet end, the whirlwind of possible advice and pondering of lessons learned has finally settled. Perhaps the most prosperous asset I have added to my repertoire of character traits over the past four years is the inclination to break rules and piss people off. I’ve always loved a good argument, but I love a good conversation even more. In my time here at Roosevelt, I’ve noticed that some of the most brass actions and brazen statements have lead to the most meaningful and interesting conversations, often regarding topics that we stray away from in the politically correct environment that is erected for us by most adults. Too often we are concerned with obeying each and every rule that has been beaten into our brains since Kindergarten. Yes, some of the parameters set up for us happen to make our daily lives easier and safer; it’s good that there are laws against murder, and laws that don’t allow people to drive 69 MPH down a residential street, and in no way do am I telling you to go around being a jerk. However, when you take a look at the lower eche-

lon of societal restrictions, it’s hard not to scratch your head in bewilderment at some of the things we can’t do. My parting advice is this: go for it. Don’t be afraid to make a raunchy joke. Drop an F-bomb or two. Argue with an adult. Tweet what you feel. Make an obscene video. Write an opinionated newspaper article. Pull a prank. Run with scisors. Buy an inflatable sex doll as your class mascot. The day you start to care a little less about what you’re allowed to do and who you might piss off, just might be the day you do something f**kin’ legendary. Sincerely, John Peterson

The winner of Senior Assassin is... Brady Donegan

To our advisor Ms. Roux, We would like to take a moment to express our sincerest thanks to our advisor, Ms. Roux. You have continously and undoubtly been pertinant to our success because of your fearlessness, expertise, and committment to ensuring that we make our voices loud enough to hear. Know that you are an inspiration to us all and promise to keep us rattling chains and ruffling feathers for many years to come. Much love and many thanks, The senior staff of the Roosevelt News

Photo by E. Flennikan

Photo by P. Goudin

Photo by K. Snyder


the roosevelt news


june 13, 2014

Juniors: choose your destiny A guide based on four glorious years of experience

Have your Winterball party at DECA Have your senior mascot be a sex doll Run for mayor Bring a backpack Play Powderpuff Play trumpet at the Grammy's Binge watch Netflix Get tatted

Hit on your teacher Pass your classes Get on TV Go to Whole Foods for lunch Go to Krispy Kreme Take a junior to Prom Make a Senior Girls shirt Love your pets Get a job Eat healthy

Get shut down Confuse it with a wrestling doll Smoke crack Bring it into Bartell’s Lose to the juniors Get a restraining order from Adele Give away spoilers Pierce your buttcheeks together

Shit on your teacher Do your work Smoke while it’s happening Drive there Instagram about it Bitch about their long dress Make love to your pets Get a job at the zoo Go gluten-free

june 13, 2014


the roosevelt news


An ode to our teachers

We say goodbye and thank just a few of the wise wonderers in these halls


As we say goodbye to four years of Roosevelt, we would like to take a moment to thank and appreciate just a few of our teachers. To every single one of the teachers of Roosevelt, your enthusiasim and wise words will keep on inspiring us. Thank you, from the Senior staff of The Roosevelt News.

...Ms. Grace. If Ms. Grace isn’t someone you have spoken to, then you clearly don’t belong at Roosevelt. Her ability to make a notoriously terrible class one of the best I have ever taken is unmatched, her stash of teas is more expansive than Teddy Roosevelt’s presidency, and her room’s cozy atmosphere lends itself to a class that is actually excited to learn (a rarity in today’s detached society). Between her caring attitude, perfect children, and spectacular teaching ability, Ms. Grace is one teacher I will never forget.Thank you. -Cole Garry ... Ms. Magidman Who I am to be, I am now becoming. We like to think that it is true - that high school actually creates an environment where we will begin to find out what is means to be “me.” Teachers, I think, have one of the greatest roles in creating that environment. Ms. Magidman, my Human Geography teacher sophomore year, beautifully embodies this motto. Ms. Magidman is a teacher that reaches out to her students not just in the classroom, but in the community. Because of Ms. Magidman, I had the chance to travel halfway across the globe, was urged to apply to Hands for a Bridge, and was given the opportunity to create an International Club. Ms. Magidman has a powerful energy that inspires her students to work hard and to respect one another. Ms. Magidman has certainly helped shape me into who I am now becoming. Thank you. -Carmen Abbe

...Mr. Grosskopf Upon entering Mr. Grosskopf ’s classroom you may wonder where he is. Although his mind is truly large as the name suggests, he takes up but a sliver of space in the classroom. Which is not to say he doesn’t know what he’s doing. On the contrary he has concocted a plan from day one by taking up so little space. It allows for you as a student to truly talk, discuss, and travel; to the zeitgeist, MLK’s jail cell, and Gatsby’s fantastical world. I can’t imagine a better teacher to introduce me to rhetoric and analysis. So underclassmen, don’t underestimate him on your first day in class, he truly has a wealth of knowledge to share, if you want to hear it. -Rhian Lindhjem

advice to seniors? ”Parting Why? They never listened to

me as freshmen, sophomores, or juniors. But okay: Kindness. Courage. Tough skin. Stay Human and not just a Brain Stem. Exhibit Good Manners. Don’t be a Lout. Never let your friends Drive when of intelligence they are Without.

-Ben Masaoka ...Mr. Landreville I knew I was in the presence of a scientific mastermind when sometime during a lecture in Chemistry class, Mr. Landreville said that as a kid he shocked himself from sticking a fork in a toaster. Truly, this moment began my deep appreciation for the man, realizing that here was a person who was born to hypothesize and experiment. Although my interests never naturally leaned towards the subatomic, Mr. Landreville’s professorial aura was enough to compel me to seriously study it all. As a true chemist, precision and care spilled over into everything he did, from sanitizing goggles to calculating students’ grades--even to making sure that nobody broke the rules of Bingo. For any question, he’d take his time, carefully selecting the best words to produce an answer that was always crystal clear. His patience, often tested, never wavered. And then there was his sense of humor. Yes, always of that excellent corny variety, Mr. Landreville’s jokes would never fail to tickle me, especially with his bone-dry delivery. I have no doubt that Landreville has enough smarts to be splitting atoms with other scientific elites in some high-security lab or ivory tower. But he’s chosen, out of what I think is purely the goodness of his heart, to teach restless teenagers about obscure things that they all too often can’t appreciate. Sometimes I walk by his room and get a faint scent of something acidic, or something that is probably on fire. Ah yes; the smell of science, there to remind me that hidden in this high school is a little genius with an amalgam, if you will, of qualities rarer than Plutonium. Thank you, Mr. Landreville! -Mira Fisher

Photos by A. Houston

...Madame Hilliard I have had the pleasure of being a student of Madame Hilliard’s for the past two years. Madame Hilliard is an exceeding upbeat teacher who keeps the entire class on their feet and constantly participating. There is no room for dozing off in Madame Hilliard’s class and you will not want to. Her commitment to French and French culture allows you to enter a mini France everyday, engulfed in food, music, film, and modern culture. So to the stylish and sincere Madame Hilliard, I say merci beaucoup. -Emma Dunlap

... Mr. Judson Miller If you have yet to engage in a conversation with Judson Miller, then you owe room 335 a visit. Tucked away in a corner on the third floor, Judson’s room is illuminated with creativity, intriguing discussions and the sounds of robots racing around the floor. His tremendous work advising Roosevelt’s now competitive robotics club will not be forgotten and will continue to grow. I will always remember spending my days in Judson’s 10th grade algebra two playing dragonvale as a class and debating on who’s harboring the more magnificent dragon. He is a key asset to the liveliness of our math department and continues to contribute to the Roosevelt community year after year, so for that I say, thank you. -Sydney Flynn

...Ms. Barnes Many sophomores anticipate APUSH with dread. The thought of key terms, weekly quizzes, and hours of reading, cast a gray pall over their befuzzled minds. But never fear - Ms. Barnes will dispel the gloom and doom and fill your soul with the bright light of knowledge. Ms. Barnes’ class was the highlight of my day junior year. I looked forward to lectures filled with sly history jokes about John Brown and Andrew Jackson, Brownie Wednesdays, and Ms. Barnes’ anecdotes about her children. She won’t let you slack off, and you’ll arrive at the AP test prepared to rip and tear the multiple choice section to pieces with your sharp blade of knowledge, and to carefully analyze the document based question with your bright searchlight of intellect. Ms. Barnes’ motherly love will comfort you through what will be a stressful year, and her deep knowledge of American History will inspire you, just as I was so many moons ago. Thank you. -Adam Houston

...Mr. Masaoka Those of us who are fortunate enough to have had the tutelage of Language Arts teacher Ben Masaoka knows that he doesn't fit the mold of a methodical high school teacher. Masaoka has taught 9th grade LA, AP LA, Philosophy and Science Fiction, over his seven years of teaching at Roosevelt. “I decided to go into teaching during an insane moment of certainty. I’ll be teaching at Roosevelt until I can no longer fool people anymore and they’ll kick me out,” Masaoka said. Many of Masaoka’s intellectual qualities defy the stereotypes that come with being an Asian American. “As an Asian American, people assume I teach math or some tech class. But I teach LA because I’m lousy at math and every other subject that Asians are thought to be good at. In fact, embarrassingly, I even have trouble spelling. I love hearing the evil snickering of students as I struggle with common words on the whiteboard,” Masaoka said. When he’s not cracking jokes with a student or unlocking student ideas during class Tai Chi sessions, Masaoka tries to help students find meaning in every assignment. “Whenever a student sits down to write, there is potential for something authentic to happen. It may be just a sentence or two, but it is evidence of a moment that, while relevant to the assignment, has become personally meaningful,” Masaoka said. “The student has breathed real life into an idea, and vice versa. It’s a beautiful thing. Coming upon those moments are the real treasures of teaching.” Thank you. -Alec Scully



the roosevelt news

june 13, 2014

Houston, we have a winner Valedictorian Adam Houston recounts his road at Roosevelt Self-Proclaimed Chop Stick

Adam’s Book List

career that you will pass down to your kids? AH: It was the first day of summer cross country practice, right when everyone was grouping together to start the run. MF: So was this before you even started practicing and becoming super fast? AH: Yes, even before I started practicing. I just knew. I felt my life shift at that very moment. MF: If you could map out your ideal day, what would it look like? AH: I’d...wake up around 8 after a good night’s sleep, go for a run, eat breakfast and go to school. I’d go to Comp Gov, Newspaper, Speech class, go to practice, have a great time hanging with my buds, come home, nap, read a book, eat dinner, read some more, and go to bed. MF: Very important: if you were stuck in a room with Phyllis Schlafly, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Malcolm X, what would happen? AH: First I would propose to Ginsburg; I  know she’s a little older than I am, but I feel that we have a connection on an emotional level. Then I would shake Malcolm X’s hand and say “I really appreciate what you’ve done for our country. And sorry you had to die so early. I found your story truly inspiring.” Then lastly, I’d go up to Schlafly...I would look in her in the eye, turn a high heel, and leave. MF: What’s something we’re most likely not to know about you? AH: I’ve been in the church Christmas pageant for every year of my life, debuting as Baby Jesus himself. MF: What’s been the most difficult aspect of being a high schooler? AH: For me the most difficult aspect of being a high schooler is simply organization. Piece of advice: buy a planner and use it, because you’ll need those skills later on. MF: Quick factoid about yourself? AH: I enjoy gardening and my life goal is to live on a farm. *Adam will be running track at Yale University in the fall.

S. Holman

fter evaluation from a select batch of stellar students, the Roosevelt school administration has chosen Adam Houston as this year’s valedictorian. In addition to maintaining a 4.0 GPA, candidates are chosen based upon their character, contributions to the school, and time spent with extracurriculars. Other outstanding students in the running were Katie Van Koevering and Eric Cooper. I think I’m speaking for the entire class of 2014 when I say that Adam Houston is loved. As a fellow clan member of the Roosevelt News, Houston has been a great source of pride in my life; it’s been almost a motherly type of pride, as if he were the son I thankfully do not have. Adam Houston is not only perfect on paper--that’s not even half of his achievements in my eyes. Nay, long before the valedictorian selection process, I found Houston to be of the rare breed who is firmly rooted in excellent morals. Humble, patient, honest, reliable, friendly, hard-working. All these attributes in one khaki-wearing, ever-smiling package. I have thoroughly enjoyed my friendship with Adam for the last few years. While most of our friendship has been comprised of cracking jokes and making pointless noises at each other, interspersed has been a fair share of good chats, with topics spanning from Siberian gulags to environmental sustainability. Through every one, I have only further trusted the accuracy of my secret hypothesis that Adam is an angel child. But I now descend from my soap box. Following are several questions I asked our man of the hour: Mira Fisher: What was your favorite class in high school? Adam Houston: U.S. History with Ms. Barnes was awesome; it was a defining moment in my education when I discovered how much I enjoyed history and politics; that only continued with Mr. Malcolm in his Government classes. I’ve also really loved Speech class. It was fun to explore a new type of literary expression. In that class I was also lucky to be able to know a lot more about classmates that I wouldn’t have known otherwise. MF: What do you consider has been the stupidest mistake you have made? AH: One day in Ms. Barnes’ class, we were talking about the Spanish American war and I mistakenly thought it was called the War of Costa Rica. MF: What has been THE golden memory of high school

photo by


Catch 22 by Joseph Heller The Monkey Wrench Gang

by Edward Abbey

Freddy the Pig

In A Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson

Photo Courtesy of A. Houston

by Walter R. Brooks A People’s History of the United States

by Howard Zinn The City of Dreaming Books

by Walter Moers

Once a Runner by John L. Parker Jr. A Sand County Almanac

by Aldo Leopold

Illustrations by A. Baldi

Mira Fisher

Adam’s Advice for RHS 1. Take drama classes. 2. Run cross-country. 3. Take APUSH and both AP government classes.


june 13, 2014

the roosevelt news


College athletes shine bright Some students move on to academics or travel, these will play That Grin

Jacob Merkle

Merkle, a three time all-KingCo member and varsity player, will be playing soccer for Pomona College (division III). The team competes in the SCIAC conference in California. After being a critical piece of the Roosevelt soccer team’s success over the last few seasons (a KingCo title in ‘12, a third in state finish in ‘13, and another playoff appearance last season) Merkle hopes to contribute to another winning program at Pomona. “I don’t really have any expectations for the next few seasons,” Merkle said. “But the team’s been pretty successful in the past so I’d love to see that continue.” His run of individual and team success hasn’t taken away his competitive edge. “The thing that I’m most looking forward to with college soccer is how competitive it will be and how serious all the players are about winning. To get ready for the season I need to get myself in great shape. This will help me compete and be able to play for long stretches of time but more importantly will hopefully keep me from getting injured,” Merkle said.

Photo Courtesy of J. Koenig

Photo Courtesy of H. Swanson

Ives will prolong one of the most decorated careers of any Roosevelt athlete in recent memory by swimming at Amherst college and competing in the 100 and 200 freestyle events. Amherst, located in Boston, competes in the NESCAC conference (division III). While he may not play professionally, Ives knows that there is still much to be gained from the college athletic experience. “I think first and foremost I can be a better teammate. None of us at Amherst will be competing at a high enough level where I could possibly go professional,” Ives said. ”It’s more about having a good time and meeting some great people. In terms of the sports themselves, I think I have the dedication that is needed to succeed. I’ll just need to make sure I’m in top physical condition and able to balance the sports with my studies.” Ives recognizes the importance of bonding with teammates and creating friendships that extend beyond the sport. It will be a great way to build friendships that could possibly last for the rest of my life, somewhat of a crazy and scary thought I must admit,” Ives said. Regardless of what he accomplishes as a swimmer in college, he can provide the legacy of being a great teammate, a crucial part of the team chemistry.

Hannah Swanson

After completing one of the more decorated running careers in recent memory at Roosevelt, Swanson will be attending Willamette University in Salem, Oregon (division III). She plans to compete in the 800 and 1400 meter races. “I decided on Willamette because it’s an amazing school academically, and the team atmosphere was what I was looking for,” Swanson explained. Her list of accolades is lengthy, as she went to state four years in cross country, three years in track, and most impressively set the school record in the 800 meter race with a time of 2:13. Despite her major success as a runner, Swanson knows that there is room for improvement. “Hopefully, the improvements will come in college during the season, but I’ll be following a training plan this summer to prepare and get in shape for the season,” Swanson explained. Team success is still an important part of individual sports, and Willamette is in a position to be considering last year in cross country, and all girls will be returning this fall, so the expectations should be high,” Swanson said. “In track, they sent two girls to Nationals which is a pretty big deal. The team is young, and has a strong base so the next few years should be very exciting.”

Bereket Anshebo

After four years of Roosevelt football, two of which included significant varsity playing time, Anshebo will take his talents to the University of Puget Sound (division III), where he hopes to contribute as a freshman next season. “I plan on playing running back as long as I stay healthy. I know I have the talent to become very good at the position and contribute as a true freshman,” Anshebo said. The elusive back hopes to make up for lost time after an all-too-short ending to his senior season, when his sesason ended after just three games. “Just the fact that I get a second chance to play football excites me. Earlier this season I had a season ending injury. Before that I was the leading rusher in KingCo.” Academics were another important factor that played into Anshebo’s decision to attend UPS. “I really liked how they stressed the importance of academics. At UPS the average GPA of all the players was higher than the average GPA of the rest of the school.

Sydney Flynn

Flynn, a versatile athlete and four year member of the Roosevelt varsity soccer team, will be attending Claremont McKenna College in California (division III.) “I decided on CMC because it specialized in the major I am interested in. The location was the factor that made CMC the perfect choice for me because I love the California sun,” Flynn said. One of Flynn’s strengths is the ability to play multiple positions on the field. “I tend to play any position in the middle (center defense, center mid, or center forward) but coaches will put me anywhere except in the goal,” Flynn said. Being able to bond with a new group of soccer players is an important part of the soccer experience for Flynn. “I am excited to be a part of a new team with a great group of girls.

Photo Courtesy of N. Batisti

Nathaniel Batisti

Battisti will be attending Western Washington University (division II) after three years on the varsity basketball team. At 6’6’’ he towers over most of his high school peers, but at Western he will need to shift from his longtime position as a center and power forward to small forward. “At the college level and at Western I’m planning to play the 3 position. Throughout high school I’ve played the 5 and last year a little of the 4 so its going to be a big change for me, but a needed one,” Battisti said. Learning the new position will require Battisti to change his fundamental approach to the game. “For developing into a guard I need to work on defense a lot and being able to defend quick 3’s” Battisti explained. While learning a new position may be a demanding task, Battisti is still ecstatic to be playing at the college level. “I’m really excited to be able to continue playing basketball competitively and with a prestigious program such as Western’s” Battisti said.

Photo by A. Scully

Nathan Ives

Photo Courtesy of S. Flynn

Photo by T. Sherman

Alec Scully

Hannah Corsa

Four year varsity soccer player and track runner Hannah Corsa will be competing at the division I level at Portland University, where she will be running in the 100 and 400 meter hurdles. Corsa looks forward to improving herself further for the division one competition. “I’m excited to have coaches that are really knowledgeable and can help me reach my full potential. And I’m excited about having a new team to get to know and build bonds with. I’m just excited to see how much I can improve with the new coaches and new ways of training,” Corsa said. Although she has been running track for six consecutive seasons, Corsa still has a lot of passion for the sport. “Running and sports in general have taught me a lot about myself over the years. You know it’ll always be there and you can escape to it anytime. Just being able to push yourself to your limits and see the results is pretty rewarding,” Corsa said. “I couldn’t imagine myself not being a part of a team next year and not competing.”

Photo by T. Sherman

Keith Schendel

Schendel, another vital contributer to the men’s swimming dynasty at Roosevelt over the last few years, will compete at the division I level at the University of Utah. Schendel will be one of two seniors to play division I sports in college, along with Corsa. “My main events have been 100 yard breaststroke and 200 yard individual medley but I have done a bit of everything in high school,” Schendel said. “In Utah, I expect to be focused on 100 and 200 breaststroke and 200 individual medley.” Schendel set the school record and won first in state in the 100 meter breast stroke, set the 200 meter medley school record and was part of first team all KingCo. “I decided on Utah over my other offers because when I visited there I really liked the coaches and the team ,as well as the University itself and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to compete for a PAC 12 school,” Schendel said.



the roosevelt news



University of Puget Sound


Sophie Midgeon

Bellevue College

University of Washington Hannah Joss Jillian Flemming Sammy Souaiaia Ryan Flood Sheldon Groh Alex Compeau Mitchell O’Rourke Sophie Rucki Kaitlyn Jakubek Nadja Kahn Carmen Hanish John Redfield Ellie Woodle Elise Stacy Jake Henry Sarah Randall Madeline Clarke Dustine Bowker Tyler Chinn Clara Sutton

june 13, 2014

Guang Quan Li Will Hutchinson Mallory Richey Kyra Stiggelbout Amalia de la Iglesia Quillan Robinson Giorgio Minai Halima Idris Nathan Wolfe Jack Kussick Katie Van Koevering Evenezer Tesfatsion Diana Wang Tyler Jong Ryan Barr Jacobus Van Der Peet Sudi Mohamed Justine Monje Sam Wang Tianshu Song

Spenser Holman Tana Tran

Alex van Zuylen

Claire Teranishi

Malcolm Hull

Emilee Delaisse

Everest Keehnel

Jennifer Matapula

Elena Pomeroy


Montana State University Helena Klein Zoe Kaatz

University of Montana

Gonzaga University

Charlie Dahl Connor Daviss


North Seattle Community College

UC Boulder

Seattle University Celeste Nygren

Seattle Central Community College Jesse Quinto- Tila Mika McCracken Sabrina Schoenborn Amelia Woodford

Senior Destinations

After four years, where has Roosevelt taken you?

Minnesota St. Olaf College Macalester

Colorado College


Conor Rodihan

University of Northern Colorado CorinnaWagner-Smith



Anna Dolde


1 Bowdoin College


Middlebury College

Lise Ramaley

University of Denver Mira Fisher

the roosevelt news


Jorit Pfleiderer Joe Klein Alex Callahan Anthony Weinand Renata Daniels Shane Gomez Hanae Reith

Seattle Pacific University


june 13, 2014

Emma Dunlap

Alex Belmore

Connor Hanify


Julia Morgan



Grinnell College

Amherst College


Nathan Ives

Mount Holyoke College

Columbia College

Annie Galloway

Katy Snyder

Elisabeth Flenniken

Northeastern University

Northwestern University

Dylan Collins

New England Conservatory

Sarah Bowen

Rubin Hohlbein


Western Washington University Eric Wangsness Brenden Nedved Emilie Han Emma Braun Sophie Stevenson David Douglas Elizabeth West Hugh Keefe

Adam Houston

Maryland Roxanne Trager

Washington, D.C.

Calvin Peterson Megan Gallaugher

Ali Cunlisk Josh Lyman

Oregon State University Sean Fox

Connor Riggs

Willamette University Cassie Tallman Hannah Swanson

Rhian Lindhjem



Erin Gillingham Taylor Sherman

New York

Marlena O’Neill

Hannah Corsa Claire Shearer

Hayley Miller-

The New School (Eugene Lang)

Tess Jurcik

Olivia Roper-Caldbeck

Manhatten School of Music John Otten

The Julliard School Noah Halpern


Serendipity Ancira Rhiannon Geving

New Mexico


Taylan Tural

Alida Humphrey

University of Redlands

San Jose State University

Loyola Marymount University

San Diego State University

Claremont McKenna College

University of San Diego

Pomona College

Occidental College

Josie Diether-Martin Julia Haussmann

Ellie Maclean

Mary Alverson John Peterson

Anne Gale

Sydney Flynn

California Polytechnic State University

Julia Torgerson

Lena Owens

Emily Udd

Paulot Gaudin

Manny Loya


Claire Huebler

University of Utah

Saint Mary’s College


Pitzer College

Marco Abbruzzese


Carmen Abbe

Texas Christian University

Scripps College

Lucy Given

UC Santa Barbara


Grant Price

Makeup Designery Olivia Ettl

Gabriela Hiestand-Salgado

Curtis Institute of Music Will Langlie-Miletish

Nepal and Europe

New Caledonia



Jack Snyder


Laura Holmes

Abby Baumgarten


Orsolya Kincso Domiczi CassadySheffler-Brennand

United States Army

David Quinn


University of Alabama Emily Navin

Cecilia Burke

Franklin and Marshall College

Savannah College of Art and Design

Kira Buss




University of Pittsburgh



Keith Schendel

Maddie Nelson


Anna Baldi

Alanna Wight

University of San Francisco

Cameron Eisner

Santa Clara University

University of New Mexico

Kamilah Mims

UC Berkeley Mills College


Carnegie Mellon University

Reed College

Chapman University

Luke Smith Laura Jagels Marissa Liddell


Katy Snyder


Jacob Merkle Eric Cooper

Ithaca College


Pacific University

Hannah Benson



DaphneJacobson Ben Scott


Cole Garry


University of Portland


New York University

> 30


Merrill Liddicoat

Peter Hou Sierra Schomburg Evan Sommerville

Sarah Lober

University of Hawaii

Lewis and Clark College

Sophia Litwin Ginger Riley

Georgetown University


University of Oregon


George Washington University

James Leroux Aiyana Mehta Chris Hankin Jeffrey Gustaveson Leah McFarland- Bennett Christopher Cox



Johns Hopkins University

Natalia Aristides Myles Gouveia Tara Phenix Rose Espinosa-Kibala

Whitman College


Yale University

Sophia von Veh Nathan Henrie Tiarra Beck John Simmons Forest Machala Rehana Sheriff Amie Stevens Katie Juhnke

Washington State University Anna Wood Alexandra Steckler Bijan Safai Alec Scully Martha Berg


*222 Students did not respond.



the roosevelt news


june 13, 2014

Forest: the final test

The best piece of advice that no one wants to teach Forest Machala

Real Life Assasin ut of all the things I’ve learned throughout the four years I’ve been at Roosevelt, I’m still perplexed to see that nobody teaches what is the most important and best change you can do not only for school, but for your life. If you are stuck somewhere on the road in high school, be that a lonely freshman, an insecure sophomore, a struggling junior or a senior secretly terrified of what your future holds, or are depressed and can’t get out of bed, or if you are just trying to survive through high school then heed to this life-changing guidance. It’s not a “tip.” It’s not a “Do, Don’t” chart. It goes beyond study tips and prep books. This is something that shall change your life: get rid of your ego. Your ego is this voice in your head that says, “I don’t deserve to get hurt.” Ego is the root of any and all senses of entitlement and is the foundation of narcissism. Ego’s offspring include envy and jealousy. Ego seeks petty validation and hungers for approval, not respect and compassion. Ego makes you believe that happiness comes from the materialistic and the short-term. Egotism causes one to build a shield around them, view the world from only one angle and become extremely agitated when something contradicts their world. The reason that controlling ego is not being taught is because American consumerism relies on inflated egos to indulge and feed it. It hinges on the fact that people will buy shit simply because they are envious or jealous of others who have those things; thus, they will spend money on things in order to feel better about themselves (when all they did is soothe the ego and drain their wallet.) When the ephemeral “satisfaction” vanishes, people feel empty and feel the need to buy more. Ego also drives people to do a lot of dangerous and unnecessary things in life in order to seek validation and approval from too many people. Sacrificing one’s own values and dignity in order to curry favor with certain people who we mistakenly believe are going to respect


us back is all too common among young people today. There are several paths to deconstructing your ego. Meditation is one of them. While I can’t speak with full force on this subject, it takes significant discipline to get to a level where the ego starts to break down. Another path is martial arts. Try Ju Jitsu or another fighting discipline that emphasizes skills over strength. Getting beat by someone smaller than you will cause you to drop your ego and work hard or just drop out. Ultimately, you have to find what works for you. When you start your path to ridding yourself off your ego, you are on a journey to freeing your soul from the greatest enemy your mind has made. With that newfound freedom comes a greater sense of responsibility. You will start to realize that many things in life do not just fall into your lap – you have to work for it. In time, the emotions you feel start to

become more pure, uncorrupted by the tendencies of the ego. Your social circle will change, as you will seek those who enjoy you for who you are and are compassionate, trustworthy, and loyal, instead of hanging with people simply for validation or status. You’ll start to care less of what others think of you as long as what you do is righteous and true to yourself. Peer pressure will no longer have the weight it once had and you’ll be more rational in your decisions. In school and in your life, superficial satisfactions will seem less important while more fulfilling ones take their place. You will stop being offended at certain things and you will learn to let go of the things y o u cannot change. On the journey, you’ll act and speak truthfully to yourself and you’ll realize that the only thing you can truly change is yourself.

Carmen and Daphne: the wise and wonderful

Carmen Abbe & Daphne Jacobsen Beautiful Humans of the Earth After four years of high school and 18 years of life, we like to think we’ve learned a thing or two. As good friends, the two of us have consulted one another over the stresses and joys of life. These conversations have brought us solace and perspective. While high school may seem trivial, we have learned that the lessons you can learn here, and within your community, will affect you for the rest of your life. We have compiled some of our most thought-provoking wisdom to hopefully help make your life a little better, your joy a little sweeter, and the trees you are capable of climbing a little higher. Love yourself, love your zits A wise mother once told her zit-struggling daughter that the only way to be truly content was to learn to

love her zits. Zits come and go and although some may say there are magic formulas to get rid of them, we suggest you embrace the face you have and remember that the terrain of your face will always be changing with each new foot print you make. Respect the only home you have “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children” - Native American proverb. Make sure you do your part to make sure our children’s children will still know what it feels like to hug a tree whose trunk is bigger than their arms (#compost). Know what kind of success you strive for As one of our favorite female super powers, Michelle Obama, once said, “Success is the difference you make in other people’s lives.” That is kind of success we strive for. Make sure you know what kind of success you want to achieve, otherwise you may get lost along the way. Listen. Listen to the little girl on the side of the street who says she’s found the meaning of life. Listen to the old man in the lawn chair who says he never has. On the search for the Meaning of Life? We think Wild Child’s Crazy Bird music video does a pretty good job of summing it up. The simplicity of joy Things as simple as opening the door for someone or asking a fellow student you barely know how their day was can make you feel more engaged and valuable in your community. Sometimes joy comes from not thinking about yourself. Find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect... They are much more interesting The piece that is different stands out from the rest. After all the times we have questioned our quirks, we have come to realize that these abnormal traits are what make us interesting. Be interesting and be yourself! The energy spent worrying about the imperfections could be invested in loving what makes you interesting. Realize you have choices Each morning when you wake up, you are presented with a choice. There is never a moment when you are stuck, hopeless, or alone. You have the power to choose. Find your happy place. Ours are when curls are being clutched and redheads are being herded. Talk to your teachers

Surprisingly they are not trying to plot your demise. Teachers can help you in school, help you in life, or just tell you a new story. Before the end of high school become friends with a teacher, you will not regret it. Grab Butts Consensually. Adore Life Smile when someone takes the time to make you hot chocolate, wiggle all ten toes everyday, and see the opportunities around you. The world glitters for you, so adore it. This is our list. It contains what we consider to be valuable wisdom. We believe that over the next few years, before graduation (for you underclassmen), you will develop a list of your own, whether you know it or not. Trust in your wisdom.


june 13, 2014

the roosevelt news


Haikus and secret crushes Sydney Flynn

Cole Garry

Don’t walk close to me if you aren’t my friend don’t speak beware, I like death

Here’s my confession: I ski twice per fiscal year In Shnagdong province

Secret Crush: Cam Haslam

Secret crush: Alex Farias

Secret Crush: Tom Fox

Taylor Sherman

Daphne Jacobsen

Mira Fisher

yes yes yes yes yes highschool is almost over yes yes yes yes yes

Jello is scrumptious It quivers. it mirrors life. but don’t add spinach

Secret crush: Baby Noah Halpern

Adam Houston

Carmen Abbe

I leave you with this Don’t put nerds in your froyo It’s really gnarly

Wear your mismatched socks stick them in your birkenstocks howl like a red fox

Secret Crush: “Chris” the tall underclassman I met in the hall once (call me when you’re 18)

Secret crush: That one red head

May the sun ever shine On the glorious wisdom Of Chairman Mao-colm

Secret Crush: Anna Larson

Rhian Lindhjem On my mornings off I roam the Sahara in Search of ivory

Secret crush: Elephants with speckly ears

Josie Diether-Martin I really hate haikus I’m a senior. I won’t try I will nap instead

Secret crush: Baby Mitchell Smith

Forest Machala

Anna Baldi

Found a spot close by Return to see a white slip 2 hour parking

Veggies go bowling They knock down two pins, then eight It’s a-spare-I-guess

Secret crush: _______

Secret Crush: Jordan Woltjer

Emma Dunlap

John Peterson

Spenser Holman

I love Burger beauty Those patties are works of art They are my favorite Secret Crush: Spice Girls

Maddie Nelson

Maple syrup and Ben and Jerry’s awaits me Winter is coming

I just saw your mom She was covered in dog shit Hahahaha poooop

They are so damn long My weiner dogs are the best Come pet my weiners

Secret Crush: My best friend’s boyfriend

Secret Crush: Claire West

Secret crush: Eli D’Albora


the roosevelt news


june 5, 2014

SENIOR WILLS To Maddie Foley, I leave you my skill, my agility, my professionalism, and my razor-sharp focus on being the very best. And of course, as you may have guessed, I give you my finest asset--the very thing that will guide you through this brave new world: ~~~ The transcendent sea foam found within our simple spirits; that rancid, rabid, reckless pendulum that lies just seven train tracks away from what we thought was the truth. ~~~ In addition, I give you a fresh pair of neon earplugs, for carrying on my passive-aggressive tradition of telling all the Chatty Cathies of the world that they are too damn loud. Do not fear this blatant symbol of pissed-offery; I trust that you won’t disappoint me and settle for the more subtle headphones. Keep safe these precious heirlooms, my dear potato munchkin. Oh, and plus, I give you one of my favorite pens. Pilot G-2, bright red, great flow. More magical than the Elder wand, it’s my tool of choice for making the most ruthless edits. (It may or may not be out of ink, but it’s the thought that counts.) And with that I say godspeed. To two of the most wonderful actors, friends, and people I have ever met: I give to you both my love of theatre and this department, my usually irritating seriousness and professionalism, and my passion for art of all forms. To Michael I give my love of the tenor voice; may you lead the boys well next year. To Adam I give my commitment and my willingness to take risks. I know you will be brave and bold. Have a wonderful time next year, my friends. Much love, Liam Keenan

To Anna Baatz, I leave you my deep appreciation for all things beautiful and nonsensical, like Nicholas Cage’s acting career. May you use this appreciation in your noble quest for producing the most outrageous art the world has ever seen. To Emily Nordberg, I metaphorically (but soon to be literally) leave an excellent mix of ‘90s-early 2000s feel-good jams. Usher, Ashanti, Spice Girls...anticipate all the tacky favorites. Swag. (Did I use that correctly?) To the rest of the news staff, I shall say that my spirit will live on. Beckon ye olde Celtic chant towards the heavens if you are in need of divine guidance. Either that or hit me up on mi cell, u kno the number <3 -Mira Fisher


Dear Henry, Though I only met you this year, you have become my fifth sibling, the little brother I never had. You are my not-so-secret crush, my main bitch, and everything in between. Somehow, you have managed to survive me for an entire year – and for that, you deserve a reward. Therefore, to Henry, I leave my sarcasm, pessimism, horrible attitude, lack of dedication, and everything that comes with it. Skip class, push freshmen, yell on the stairs, walk in and out of class whenever you want, and eat whatever, wherever, and whenever you want. Secondly, I leave you my ego, self-confidence, and undying love for myself. As I leave, you are now the most important person at this school. You have to carry the title of that one kid everyone knows of and wants to talk to, but is too scared to approach. You are now the one who will elicit questions like, “You’re friends with him?” Feel free to gossip – I know you can – and don’t be afraid to say mean things about the person in front of you. As you threaten your way through senior year, think of me – I’m only a few hours away, and I’ll sure as hell be thinking of you. -Cole Garry

To Hannah Brown: As HFB alumni we give you the wisdom that no matter how much you want to be part of HFB next year, always remember and cherish your experiences and the people you shared yours with. Also keep next year’s senior alumni close, they are your family and your support system. Love, Josie and Fionnuala


june 5, 2014

the roosevelt news


SENIOR WILLS To: Maddie Lavrine Ima leave you my best homie-ship with Mr. Walseth. You can come in any time and he’ll talk to you about politics and stuff, and if you see him outside of school you can shoot him a quick “EY YO!” From: Joseph Comin To Fausto Montagna, I leave you with my hair as a kick start to growing yours back to its long, lush, beautiful blondness. I was disappointed that you ever cut it, you look weird with a shaved head. Please grow your hair back, I miss the real you! I also give Fausto the ability to graduate, you can do it buddy! To Emily Thompson, I bequeath the role of the senior in the group who drives people everywhere. I don’t envy you. -Isaac Bartick To Karsten Hendrickson I bequeath the role of chief tormentor of Ben Gauld to Karsten. Keep up my good work. From: Zach Guay I, Benjamin Jin, bequeath all of my wealth to you, Matthew Soucy. I give you my intense farmer tan as well as my sexy triceps. You may also have my title of sexiest Korean of the Year; guard it well. I expect great things from you, Soucy Boy. -Benjamin Jin

To: Emma Seymour We leave you all of our leftover sass, Izzy’s luscious hair (a few pieces), and Helena’s inability to hear people from across the room. We also will you all of our best (worst) pickup lines in hopes that you will continue to make Roosevelt an awkward, sexually charged place. Helena wills you her jump shot, and Izzy wills you her unbeatable serve and the right to heckle Karlovich as much as possible. We both also leave you our misguided fashion sense in hopes that one day you will achieve the fashion icon status that we currently have. Lastly, we leave you all our unfulfilled hopes and dreams, in hopes that you leave high school with no regrets. Much love, Em, -Helena Klein and Izzy Mason

To Asha Johnson Dearest Asha, I leave you the one thing that was passed down from Aviva to Manuel to Paulot to me and now to you. I will always cherish our lunchtime adventures and I hope you continue to eat ridiculous amounts of cheese and that you make friends who drive better than I do. Goodbye my love! -Marissa Liddell

To: Julia Mirick I, Julia Haussmann, am passing my name down to you, Julia Mirick, and letting you be the #1 Julia on tennis. You once were Lil’ Jules, but now that I’m gone you can move up and claim your title as Big Jules In Charge. Get it, girl. xoxo -Julia Haussmann

To Ben “The Duckling” Gauld, I leave you the title of Diligent Ben. The title is bestowed to those who show exceptional diligence in life. Ben’s who have this title never leave well enough alone. Sincerely, -Ben “Swanny” Swanson

To Menaka, I leave the roaming capabilities of the lab. I hope you roam far and help many with their InDesign struggles. There are also many philosophical conversations to be had while roaming. I also leave you the task of email writing for the Honor Club. Make me proud and remember if you get stuck, think of a story I might tell and it will be humorous. To Charlotte, I leave the disgusting news sock, may it keep you warm for winter. I also leave you the awkward news brainstorm and the struggle of searching for graphics. May you become close friends with all the photographers so that they will go to events for you. -Rhian Lindhjem

To Malcolm Roux, I hereby bequeath my banana yellow short shorts to you, which were given to me in turn by the great Hart Hornor. Wear them proudly, and never be afraid to take the lead. It is up to you to pass on the shorts next year to the runner with the best thighs and the biggest heart. Keep grindin’. -Adam Houston To Ben Gauld, Ben, I bequeath to you my spotty attendance record. Your occasional tardiness is admirable, but there are many more classes out there for you to skip. Embrace the automatic calls home! -Marco Abbruzzese



the roosevelt news

june 13, 2014

SENIOR WILLS To Abby Wolfe, I leave my heart to Abby Wolfe. You are a beacon of light from the darkest of gyms (AKA Newport; if hell was a gym, it would be Newport). Keep the volleyball obsession alive and ball out, homegirl. - Taylor Sherman

Dear Kate Emmons, From this moment on, I leave to you Stanley’s infamous cones, a splash of sass (not that you need anymore), and a bucket of patience to get you through next season and the entire year. You will need the patience to endure another round of Stanley’s long speeches and the inevitable senioritis. Exercise this patience throughout senior year because graduation will come quicker than you can imagine. Love ya, -Sydney Flynn

To Sebastian Kent and Frances Gellert, I bequeath upon you the jellybean eating, enthusiastic dancing, critical thinking, world pondering, community building, snack munching, icebreaker breaking, beauty of International Club. May you continue to explore the world with open eyes and enlighten the RHS community with the best club around (hoping as it actually starts the first month of school). With worldly love, -Carmen Abbe To Maddie West, To the selfless Maddie West, I leave her shorts. -Whitney Teagle

To Porter Jones, I leave you a chip, don’t let it go to your head. -Jack Kussick

To: Emma Huebler To Emma I will the glory of redheadness. I hope the power of being a ginger gives you bountiful strength in water polo and in life. Stay forever red. - Cassady Sheffler-Brennard

To: Adam Westerman I, Katie Juhnke, bequeath unto you unlimited beats to freestyle rap to, an attractiveness venn-diagram that overlaps, and admission to Georgetown University to follow your “dreams” (slobe). With blessings from Deezus Christ who adds, “think of all the beautiful babies we could make,” Your friend, Katie. -Katie Juhnke

To: Olivia Mora To Olivia Mora, I leave my fat suit. Because she needs it. -Zac Seymour

To Anna Keenan To you, I leave my diving legacy. Maybe one day you can be the one on the team to do a reverse dive (just don’t get a concussion a week before the season ends). -Sophie Litwin

To: Elliot Clement, Peter Stessel, Lee Swedin, Luke Woodle, Ben Pratt, Ravi Sharma Unto you we bestow the responsibilities of: 1. Preventing unconscious-lee from turning into John 2. Preventing Elliot from getting too emotional 3. Making sure Ben lets loose and shows a little chest hair from time to time 4. Preventing Peter and Ravi from morphing into the one and only Pavi 5. Making sure Luke respects the following rules: a. No buying accessories that do not operate b. Only wear sports gear from teams that actually have a winning record c. One day maybe try to wear your hat forward d. No ugly shoes e. No Instagram posts about shoes… or napkins f. The Tribe shirt is not to be over worn or bragged about g. No, we don’t “wanna go.” Stop asking h. Suitcase should be checked for tuxes before flying across the country i. You are not Stevie Wonder.. or the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air j. Cool it on the “Woodle Effect” and let out your inner “Suki” a little more We hope with full hearts that you will carry out these duties to the best of your abilities. Swing hard, “cats” -Ellie Woodle, Lise Ramaley, Ian Sandico, Will Langlie-Miletech

To Kai Zhu, Dearest Kai, On this fine spring day of fair weather, I have decided to bequesth you with the treasures of my four-year dynansty here at Roosevelt High School. These precious items of the following I gracefully bequeath to you: my big, strong leg power, so that you may continue to thrive in cross-country next fall; my perseverance, so you may study hard to effortlessly conquer SATs and AP tests; my creativity, so you may write the most flamboyant college essays ever read; my love, so you know you are always cared for; and finally, my Girl’s Generation photos in Tyler Jong’s locker (maybe his too), so you may tap into Asian culture, because after all, you need some. -John Redfield

To Clara Raftery, To you, Clara, my Jewish freshman from Indiana, I give DJing the cross-country bus to meets. I want everyone singing and dancing like they are insane, which everyone knows they are crazy. Take my spot on the cross-country bus. Much love, -Leah McFarland-Bennet


june 13, 2014

the roosevelt news


SENIOR WILLS To Madeline Tull, Frannie Nelson, Aisling Doyle-Wade, and Shea Perla As Anya Tudisco once did for us, we bestow onto you the following… 1)The greatness of being a girl saxophone player (basically you are the best). 2)The privilege of making funny faces to your fellow saxophone girls mid-song (it’s too fun not to). 3)The ability to stand BS in sectionals (Santosh, looking at you;) 4)The skill to kick major butt and look awesome while doing it (we won’t make the ‘saxy’ joke, we promise). Finally, we leave the future of jazz to your cute little faces and your mighty instruments. Your friends, -Anna, Natalie, and Madeline

To my three lovely news ladies: Sophie Jones, Sophia Mosshard, Lisa Colligan

To: Chris Nelson and Taylor Klein

To you, we leave our spirit coordination responsibilities. Make us proud and always high-five each other. You will find yourselves in sticky situations together, so always make the most of it ;) Much love, -Hanae Reith and Ginger Riley

To: Justine Cameron, Chloe Miller, Annalisa Brinchman, Bay Loovis You ladies have all amazed me with your talent, exuberance, spunk, and wit. You all are stars. Therefore, I leave you four with four items to carry you all forward next year. 1) My recipe for butterscotch brownies (the closest way to anyone’s heart). 2) My blue snuggie (For late-night movie watching; you guys have to share). 3) A lock of my hair so you can clone me and access my wisdom at any time. 4) Say Anything on DVD (for the movie watching). I hope you move forward with the same grace, hilarity, and vivacity as you have. Love you tons, -Sophie von Veh

To Ben Pratt, I leave to you my hacky sack, may it keep you occupied for many hours when you should be in class. - Dylan Collins To Ella Sevier To you, my dear, I leave my wonderfully jubilus sense of humor. Treat it carefully and cautiously, as it has been known to destroy an entire room from the sheer magnitude of laughter. Go forth and spread the joy and never EVER forget the beautiful effect of a perfectly placed “your mom” joke. -Aiyana Mehta

To my Superior Successor Sophie, I bequeath the stress of 1000 people screaming at you in another language, the “Press” hat that will inspire your journalistic edge when it is atop your head, and the oh-so mysterious Head Editor box. I remember when you first joined, a wee-sophomore, longhaired and curious. Well you stepped into my shoes as news editor, chopped off your hair, and have become a strong-witted trailblazer. My words of wisdom: don’t expect to know how to be a leader, you will find out what kind of leader you are in the midst of yelling at your editors. I am so proud to have someone as clever, scrappy, and who pulls off sexy cropped hair take my place. You, like your hair, are all the rage and I know that you will bring the royal-hipster cult of newspaper into a new era of playing with the line of appropriateness (and occasionally crossing it). P.S. You gave me this press hat last year and I am giving it back to you, starting a new tradition for Editor’s in Chief – continue it! Love and sympathy. To my Special Sweetheart Sophia, I leave 1000 and one hugs for your final year for I will not be there to give or receive them. My dearest Sophia, I have nothing to give you, only the knowledge that I will miss you too much to put into words. You are the happiest, shiniest, brightest thing I have ever met – never lose that. In the words of The Golden Girls “Thank you for being a friend.” I love you. Love, love, and more love. To my Luscious Lovely Lisa, I leave pages two and three in your hands to decorate with your creativity, humor, and complicated, Shakespearian-like sentences that no one understands. Secondly, I leave the oh-so important task of ensuring that 106.1, 93.3, 92.5, and all other types of too-good for us popular music stays clear out of the newspaper lab. Keep on playing our obscure youtube-channel remixes, our hipster folk songs, and the dramatic oldies. Lastly, I leave our shared awkward, Portlandia-Office-like humor to you, for I am off on the East Coast and I think they would point and laugh at me. If the next time your see me, I am in a knee-length plaid skirt and a sweater-vest, I give you permission to pour one of your 12-dollar organic nut-milk drinks on me. Love and loud laughs. -Emma Dunlap To: Porter Jones To Porter Jones I leave a poker chip. May this chip serve as a reminder to the historic game against Jackson High School in which you were chipped from 55 yards. -Nick Matz


No oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a fan of cartoon chefs more than Vance. In an act to show his dedication for Ratatouille Vance got a nose job to better resemble Linguine, the movies protagonist.

By day he strolls down the hallways at Roosevelt, delivering birthday cards, dealing high-fives, and enforcing good morals. However, when the doors lock and the lights turn off, Vance goes on the prowl. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an inside look into the secret life of our principal, Brian Vance:

Face to face, leave some space? This rule does notseem to apply to Vance, as his ever stricter dance policies have led to quite the stress release in underground fight clubs.

The Anchor Bowl Trophy may be enough for Coach Nelson, but not for Vance. After each victory over Ballard, our principal heartlessly stalks the beavers that give the school its name, and upon capturing them, leaves them hairless and quivering. All for a comfortable boat shoe.

Do you have a large collection of argyle? Not as large as Vance. Despite his somewhat modest school attire, Vance has previously beenspotted accepting the Teen Choice Award for best use of tweed in a suit coat.

Vance may seem like the embodiment of rider pride but when heads are turned he races between Roosevelt and Ingraham duel ruling the two schools and never letting the two sides collide.

Roosevelt High School 1410 NE 66th street Seattle WA, 98115

During an angst ridden phase in his twenties Vance somehow acquired sleeve of vibrant skin art. Was this sneaky ink from the local shop or from a brief stint in prison? That remains unknown.

2013-14 Senior Issue  
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