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The Magazine for the Narley Harley Rider

THE RIDER’S MAG Volume 15 #3


MAY 2013 The Spring Motorcycle Show 2013

Kitchener HD Ladies Garage Party

What’s Shakin’ Joke Page We Support

Feature Bike Our Troops!!!

The Rider’s Guide to Ontario and Beyond!!

You Will Never Be Alone Mazin & Associates PC fights for the care you deserve. Our experienced and compassionate lawyers will work tirelessly to ensure that your rights are protected. With us on your side, you will never be alone.


1.800.432.HURT t 416.250.1234 5 PARK HOME AVENUE, SUITE 120, TORONTO, ONTARIO M2N 6L4

Table of Contents Fighng for your rights

900 Colborne St. East Brantford, Ontario

519-756-6218 Store Hours Mon-Fri 10am - 6pm Sat. 9am - 1pm

Pg 4

From Scary Larry

Whats Shakin’

Pg 6

A Summer of Great Events

Spring Motor Cycle Show 2013

Pg 8

A Cri!ers Eye View of the Show

Kitchener H-D Ladies Garage Party Pg 15 Manon Supports The Cancer Cause

Crusing With Cri!er

Pg 18

Joke Page

Pg 27

Feature Bike I.C.C. 1/1

Pg 28

Bikers Church

Pg 30

Pastor Dave’s Easter

Shenanigans with Sherri O’Irish

Since 1988


Pg 32

Be Prepared

MotorCyco Beau

Pg 41

From The Far East... Ontario That Is

Ladies And Their Harleys

Pg 48

Danni’s Times

Pg 50

Riding The Southwest

Pg 53


Gaurdrail Rides Again

THE RIDER’S MAG 1111 Davis Drive, Suite 501, Unit 23, Newmarket, ON L3Y 9E5 Phone: (905) 235-5353 Toll Free 1-855-873-6680 Fax: (905) 235-5358 Email: Website:

Webmaster:Lost Dog

Publisher / Editor : Rick Davis Publisher Emeritus: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor Emeritus: J.B. Ballantine

Managing Editor: ACE Wolske Creative Content Manager: Peppermint Patty Office Manager: Diane Davis Computer Geeks: Clive, Dan Fournier

Advertizing and Sales Eastern Ont./Western Que. Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 Southern Ontario Rep: J.R. MacRae 905-631-5890 Southwestern Ontario Rep: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 Contributing Writers Pastor Dave Neals, Danni, Scary Larry, Mannon Kellman, Beau Rooney, Jonathan Musson, Al Marentette, Rossaire, Tim Armstrong, Bob Loblaw


Office Security Supplied By: Captain & Morgan “The Wonder Dogs” Printed By : Canweb Printing Inc. Grimsby, Ontario Printed in Canada

The contents of this magazine are copyrighted and remain the property of

“The Rider’s Mag Inc.” For Ad Information or Rate Cards Please Contact The Publisher/Editor or a Sales Rep.

416.663.3382 THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 3

Fighting for Your The Ontario Confederaon of Clubs hosted their annual informaon display at the Naonal Motorcycle Show and the aending public was very recepve to the issues facing bikers in the 21st century. As usual, the Biker Enforcement Unit fielded a huge conngent but, once again, their wet dream fantasies went unsasfied as all clubbers intermingled without incident.

There was a minor moment of concern for my wellbeing when one of their zealous shuerbugs almost knocked me to the floor in his long-legged and bigfooted dash to get a clear shot of a couple of Outlaws M.C. members browsing the vendors. Guess a public stomping is not much of a major concern when you’re on a mission to get a proper pic of Charlie, Eh Ollie? On Saturday, Clubbers from most Ontario M.C.’s flooded the show in an unorganized but calm, demonstraon that underlined and reminded everyone that clubbers are both social and sedate. I was quite impressed with the many new patches that were in aendance - further demonstrang that many cizens are interested in our lifestyle to the point of adopng some form of clubber life. Mmmmm, perhaps the harassment taccs of the past summer backfired and caused a reversal of the


with Scary Larry

desired effect – an awakening of the sleeping masses that are now endorsing our right to freedom of lifestyle and are actually backing that endorsement by becoming patch-wearin’ members of a motorcycle club. Despite all that has been disclosed concerning shoddy police methods – another Law Enforcement fiasco has reared its ugly head and which causes one to ponder; WTF? Exactly who are the real criminals? The Night Wolves Freedom Fighters recently lost their civil court acon against the Waterloo Region Police Services, which has been an ongoing bale for jusce and equality that was spread out over two and a half years. The case began with criminal charges which were dismissed, due to an illegal vehicle search, and then moved to traffic court where the NWFF were successful in having three of the Highway Traffic Act offences thrown out. The final leg of this bizarre odyssey was a Charter of Rights violaon launched in civil court by the NWFF, which was lost - despite the WRPS admitng to an illegal search. The Judge dismissed the claim even though he called the acon a warrantless search of the vehicle. The NWFF are considering an appeal of the ruling and interested pares can contribute to the fund by

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Email: Website:

Fighting for Your


with Scary Larry

vising and submission. then go to the Defense Fund page where there is It’s me to open the curtains and let the light shine a method to donate to the cause via Paypal. It’s an on these self-serving nkerers. There is an elecon in outrage that violaons such as this cannot receive the wings and you need to get out and vote this mess sasfacon via due course. The very least we can do is out of office and perhaps we may experience some support the NWFF by making a donaon today. modicum of police reform. The persecuon of bikers connues simply because Scary Larry OCC Treasurer of our demeanor, are and the negave stereotyping of MC’s in the entertainment media. The police presence at the bike show was a complete waste of taxpayers’ dollars this year and as it is every year. The jusficaon and raonale behind the decision to allow a dozen undercover BEU personnel to stand around all day and snap photos escapes me - but so has the raonale that led to the squandering of millions (perhaps a billion) dollars to move the gas plants in an effort to save two Liberal ridings. The mandarin’s philosophize that ’if you live a long life – eventually you will see everything ‘is ringing true for this reporter. The premise for this overkill of police presence is “informaon gathering”- bet you recognize that chestnut, Eh Ollie? This is the mindset that infringes on our rights and freedoms and gives me pause to reflect that perhaps we are a race that is being governed by extraterrestrial aliens. Not too far from reality when you connect the Hey Mr. Editor, Hank here from the PU dots. These super-beings, complete with super-egos, Squad. Before you run that story on the believe they have the right to abuse the power we candy store bandit……I found a link bestow upon them with impunity and nondisclosure. I between that kid and Bikers and orgahave studied the joke that is our latest Ontario Prenized crime! I’ve got it on good authormier since she was elected (that’s an oxymoron since ity that this kid’s mother’s wife’s aunt she was placed there by the Liberal party) and the is married to a guy whose sister’s boybest she can offer, regarding the many absurdies friend’s brother bought a puppy from foisted upon us by her party, is lip-service. Nowhere is a guy who’s brother is a Hell’s Angel. there a logical and intelligent soluon to any our proScary shit eh? vincial woes. Her strategy is to raise taxes so her party can further bleed the province with its non-governing of the public purse. This has to stop! The barrel of apples is ro#en from FOREST, ONTARIO the top and the only way to fix it is to oust these fools from power and fix the polical system. The Ontario Liberals have allowed Law Enforcement to dictate policy – not the other way around. The adage that law enforceSave on your HD tire purchase's ment should be le$ to the experts Dunlop, Avon, Metzelers, Michelin does not apply here ‘cuz there is nothing expert about persecung a We install and balance visible minority, at best; it is merely an a#empt to bully the cizenry into




Every Monday The Checkered Flag Bar and Grill –

3671 Hwy #6, Mount Hope. (At By-Pass) Monday Night Riders Special – 2 for 1 Burgers – Crier’s Crew Cards accepted for a further 13% discount. 905-679-2419

Every Tuesday The Albion Hotel’s Amazing Bike Night – From May – September! Door prizes and Year end Grand Prize! 1 Main St. Bayfield, On. 519-565-2641

Every Wednesday Checkered Flag Bar and Grill – 3671 Hwy #6, Mount Hope. (At By-Pass) ½ price Wings Crier’s Crew Cards accepted for a further 13% discount. 905-679-2419

Every Thursday Loreo Tavern – Riders Night –

Shakin’ 7994 County Rd. 1 at Hwy 50 – In The Heart of Loreo. Specials for Riders – Crier Crew Cards accepted for greater savings! 905-729-2215

Every Saturday Flat Track Motorcycle Races - June 1st – July 27 603 Netherby Road, Welland Ontario - 7 PM For more info – 905-734- 7058-

MayMay 3rd – Clare’s Ladies Ride – In celebra"on of Interna"onal Female Riding DayRide leaves Clare’s at 6:15 PM- RSVP May 4th – Motorcycle Enhancements – Grand Re opening Open House/Show and Shine – BBQ – DrawsFor more info – 905 842-2123

May 4th – Flag of Love Day – 7:00 PM Zephyr Community Centre. Zephyr On. Admission- dona"on to Uxbridge/Scugog Animal Shelter More info- Mary Dube 905-473-9523 – mary@flagoflove. com

GRAND REOPENING SAT. MAY 4TH Open House / Show & Shine BBQ


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905-842-2123 / 1-888-842-2123 427 SPEERS RD. UNIT 9, OAKVILLE ON L6K 3S8 THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 6

May 5th – Fort Erie Motorcycle Swap Meet – 10:00 AM -4:00 PM Always a sell out! Info

May 11th – Clare’s Fenwick – Yamaha Demo Rides – 10 AM – 2 PM May 23rd – Hamilton Biker’s Church – Bike Blessing The Church of The Nazarene, 92 Oawa St. N. Hamilton 7:00 PM – Free to all! –

May 26th – B.H.M.C. 75th Anniversary – Reunion & Open House S.B.B. 443 Hwy# 20 E. Stoney Creek 12 PM – 4PM –

What’s May 26th – 2nd Annual Mission: 2804 C.C. Run

Complexe J.R. Brisson Arena. 758 Brebeuf St. Casselman On. $20 per bike. More info 613-7643606

Shakin’ June 22nd – 81 2nd Annual Show n Shine & Bike Wash @ EAST TORONTO $10 dona!on – 12:30 PM 3595 St. Clair Ave. E. Unit 14, Scarborough. Rain date June 29th

June 23rd – Bobcaygeon Community Bikefest –

June st

June 1 – Selkirk Choppers – Grand opening Celebra!on

Music- Fun – Food – Vendors- Show and Shine More info – call Doug 705-793-1751 – www,

Continued on Page 27

Open House – 7 Main St. East. Selkirk Ont.905-776-1111

June 1st -11th Annual Kawartha Kids Ride Contact- Joe O’Connell 705-328-5885

June 8th – Cowpaddy’s 2nd Annual Poker Run 1243 county Rd. 2 Maitland, On. Registra!on 9:00 AM – 10:30 AM For info – or call Greg or Susie 613-926-0799

June 9th – Red Devils MC – Annual Bike Show 30 Arden Ave., Hamilton On.

June 9th – Biker TV covers Dukes HD ride. Registra!on 11:00 AM – Noon - info – 519-488-5986 – Registra!on 11 AM – noon – All Makes Welcome!

June 15th – 16th - Westerntown Smokeout – 370 Uxbridge/ Pickering Town Line Rd. Just North of Claremont off Brock Rd. 1st le% past the RR tracks. For more info call The Twins -905-294 4754

June 16th – Orangeville Legion #233 11th Annual Show and Shine High Noon – 7 John St. Orangeville. All makes and models welcome. Outside bar – Entertainment – Vendors info – 519-942-4895


Spring Motorcycle Hey mes and dates may change but there is a constant and that is The Spring Motorcycle Show at The Internaonal Centre in Mississauga is going to happen. I’m not enrely sure of the reason for the change of date (It was explained to me but my notes are not available (Nonexistent as I don’t do great notes. I may be the publisher/editor now but I’m sll the same old Crier and all I really need to know is where and when to show up and the reasons why aren’t always that crucial to me.) at this me and I’ve forgoen what I was told but I’m assuming that there was a real good reason for the switch which had many people really confused. Other than my ongoing physical ailments and thanks to pain pills, tensor bandages, my knee brace and my trusty dragon cane, I was ready for it too. This in itself surprised me, as one of my big con-


Show 2013 by Critter cerns in taking over the Mag was; where the fuck am I going to find a crew? For years it has been just myself and Sr. as the first to arrive and we would slug through hundreds and thousands of Mags and sit, prey much ed to the booth for most of the shows with JR and JB showing up late in the aernoon to relieve us and then spend their me in the beer garden; socializing, while we stumbled home exhausted to get some rest and cleanup to be ready to do it all again the next day. This was our main funcon and that was fine at that me, in that situaon, but now Sr., while sll as passionate and enthusiasc about the shows and The Mag as ever, is slowing down and can’t get up and at ’em as early as he used to and I knew that I now needed to out and about at the show in order to meet with exisng and new adversers and get a proper over-view of the show and

Spring Motorcycle the rest of the stuff that my new posion entailed, in other words the stuff that JR always did while I thought he was slacking off. I pondered oen as to how the fuck I was going to pull this off and get through a major show on my own. I had not counted on friends stepping up to help the way that they did.

Show 2013 by Critter We were also trying out some interlocking anfague mats that Canadian Tire had on sale and I have to tell you that it does make a huge difference over standing on those bare concrete floors all day. The booth looked good and we were ready for whatever the weekend threw our way.

While I knew I had friends out there who are more than willing to come out and help I really hate to 430 Snyders Road East ask them. Baden, ON N3A 2V7 It turns out that I didn’t have to Tel: (519) 634-9138 Ext 224 Fax: (519) 634-9209 ask….I had volunteers! Is Proud to Introduce Peppermint Pay (Who has helped me at the last show.) was The 2013 Iron Horse Line more than willing to come out of Motorcycle Trailers again but it was also layout weekThe Widebody end where the Mag was actually of The Widebody put together and Pay has become a vital and integral part of that process and with me having to be at the show I was sure that she would have to remain behind with Al. However Al and I had been working on stuff all week long, proofing arcles, wring, downloading pictures, laying in ads and seng things up to the point that WWW.IRONHORSETRAILERS.COM he was comfortable enough to say that he could handle the rest and Pay could go to the Show. I also had others step up to the plate as well and I was fairly comfortable with the whole situaon. My buddy Squirrel came down with me on Friday to help set up.

Starting At: $6395 + Freight THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 9

Spring Motorcycle There was sll stuff to do to the Mag when we returned that aernoon but we tried to clean things up fairly early so that I could get some rest for the weekend that lay just ahead. My Grandson Nick was to come out to help once again but had to cancel out on me, due to other commitments but my friend Sco had also enthusiascally volunteered to help at the booth for the first me (Who am I to turn down an ultra -gung ho volunteer when he or she comes my way?) and we were to meet him there in the morning so aer hooking up with Pay and driving through a flash mini blizzard with a quick breakfast stop thrown in we found a great parking spot suitable for a gimpy old fart like me, met up with Sco and reported to the booth for duty. Things were coming together. We astonishingly found our booth to be situated next to The Hooters booth


Show 2013 by Critter and directly across from a Playboy Model’s booth (No folks, I don’t put in special requests for booth space or neighbouring booths but I have a feeling that the good folks that assign this stuff are either trying to make me smile or kill me! I’m not complaining here! The doors opened and the crowds just kept on coming. They set new all-me records for aendance at this show this year, which would explain the huge grin on Peter Derry’s face throughout the Show. As I stated earlier, normally it would be just the amazing Mr. Sr. (Who would be coming in later.) and myself at the booth for much of the Show but I now had the luxury of a great crew that allowed me to strap on my camera wander the show and actually see what was going on.

Spring Motorcycle We were joined by the vibrant and alluring Krysia, another friend who volunteered to help out (And add luster and elegance to the booth.) and soon a!er the always deligh"ul Manon joined our happy group and we were large and in charge and held down the fort unl Sr. arrived to round out our merry band early in the a!ernoon. JR and JB would not be a#ending the show as they were taking advantage of their newfound freedom that rerement from The Mag allowed them and were out of the country enjoying the first March break that they had ever had the chance to enjoy with their kids as a family unit down in New Orleans or some other warm and wonderful spot that had great barbecue cold beer and provided them with warm memories. I took full advantage of the freedom that the large and enthusiasc crew afforded me and took off frequently to explore the Show returning to rest my aching right knee and ankle. The a#endance was huge and walking through the event took some me but I wasn’t in a big hurry at all (which is just as well when you need a cane a knee brace and pain killers to get you through the day.) and just went with the flow and took in all that the Show had to offer, and that was plenty, what with the live entertainment on the stage that included the ever popular Terez Leather fashion show. I got to actually spend some me talking with many of the exhibitors and bike builders and got a be#er appreciaon of the talent and imaginaon of their creaons far more than I did at other shows where I just went through as quickly as possible strictly to get pictures without really looking at what I was taking a picture of. It was kind of like not seeing the forest for the trees. Now that I had me it gave me a whole new perspecve and experience.

Show 2013 by Critter Bar has been celebrang his 75th Birthday all year and as at the Supershow, they had the giant birthday card for well-wishers to sign and there was cake. I stopped by and got some pictures and connued on my rounds. The beer garden was open so I decided a beer break was in order and being the boss now I can do that without noce and without geng approval from anyone. There were a couple of friendly, familiar, faces behind the bar as the same bartender team that I’d met at previous shows were back to do this show as well so

I had a chat with them while they poured my beer. I found out later that you could take your beverages out of the actual beer garden as the whole venue was licensed. To my knowledge, this is the first me that this has occurred at these shows and it is a welcome change. I know London Shows allowed it for some me but this was new to these events in this area. Sr. arrived and our crew was complete.

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Spring Motorcycle The day flew by and I was busy the enre day and the crew was on the ball and distributed huge amounts of Mags at a record pace. One thing about me that many of you may not realize is; prey ladies in sexy ouits do catch my aenon on occasion and when I can put those ladies together with fine looking motorcycles I take advantage of the combinaon and put my trusty Nikon through its paces and try my hardest to fill large memory cards and capture those images for you, our faithful readers. Just another sacrifice I’m willing to make to provide you folks with some entertainment. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it!

Bike Blessing At : Thursday May 23rd 7:00pm Free To All and All Welcome

(Rain Date May 30th) The Church of the Nazarene 92 Ottawa Street North

So needless to say, I was busy that aernoon. By early evening the crowds had waned considerably, Sr. had checked out for the day and I decided to pull the plug myself and we dragged our asses out of there leaving Manon to hold down the fort unl she too wanted to head for home some me later. We dropped Sco off at his place but when we

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Show 2013 by Critter arrived back at the office we sll had some more work to do on the Mag, generally just tweaking this and that before Pay and Al headed home. Sunday I was up early and Al and I worked a while on the Mag while waing for Pay to arrive. We again le Al behind to do what he does and made our way South where we then picked up Sco and aer a bit of breakfast, made our way to the Show for the final day with sll lots to see and do. We had gone through most of our supply of Mags and knew that we would be largely coasng for most of the day and our merry crew had me to wander the Show as well. Sr. once again showed up and he as well took the me to visit with the many friends and acquaintances that he has made over all the years that he has been doing these Shows and events. He has become a fixture and many people ask aer him constantly. Many folks also enquired about JR and JB, wanng to know if they were coming and how they were taking to rerement and so on. For me the day was another blur as I made my way around, leisurely ge$ng pictures of bikes and girls and as much of the show as I could capture. Hell, I even managed to get a couple of boob shots (Is there no end to the sacrifices I make for you folks?) and visit with the many Mag adversers in aendance at the Show, such as; Fred Hale and his kids that run the show at Strictly V Twin in the wilds of Pefferlaw, Nash The Leather King who travelled from Windsor, Gord and his crew from Black Gold in the wonderful town of Newmarket and Trish from Brass Pole who were all doing a great business as was Pamela “The T Shirt

Spring Motorcycle Girl”, Tony and Ursula and their happy group from CJ’s Cycle up in Bolton and John from Motorcycle Enhancements in Oakville, along with the ever smiling Cassandra, a vision in green for St. Pay’s Day and she illuminated his display as she does in his shop on a daily basis so to say that vendors came from far and wide to aend wouldn’t be a stretch. The veterans groups were well represented and had some great displays in support of the troops and the rides and events that they hold throughout the year. It is always a pleasure to see Trapper Kane out and he does such a great job represenng the military and puts in many of hours and covers a Hell of a lot of real estate in doing it and he does it with pride, honour and dignity. We should all be proud as Canadians to have such an individual represenng our fair land, our military and our veterans. The compeon for the bike awards is intense and the difference between winning top prize and lesser prizes or no prize at all can hang on the slightest detail and the work that goes on throughout the Shows by these builders is huge and they take it very seriously. They are constantly cleaning and tweaking through the enre run of the show. It isn’t just showing up with a good looking bike, it is an art and a skill that

Show 2013 by Critter is developed and learned through years of doing it. Builders that I have come to know over the years, like Steve Schuller have given me an insight into what goes on behind the scenes that makes a bike a winner, an also ran, or a loser. They strive for absolute perfecon and they are well aware that what is perfect and makes their bike a winner at this show doesn’t mean that it will win at the next one and that is what makes them the professionals they are and that is the reason why they are constantly on the winner’s podium and they know that what posion they hold is determined by


Spring Motorcycle the effort that they put in. That said; I found a good spot and covered the awards ceremonies and was pleasantly surprised when Peter Derry announced The Rider’s Mag as Sponsor of the “Bobber Class” Awards. THE Winners are; VINTAGE MINI BIKE: VINTAGE SPECIALS: VINTAGE PRE 1952: VINTAGE ASIAN: VINTAGE BRITISH: VINTAGE









Continued on Page 26

Kitchener HD As the French saying goes: « Les années se suivent mais ne se ressemblent pas. » Thursday March 21st, 2013 – Hard to believe this is spring with the cold weather, the snow banks and the constant clouds lingering over our heads. Will the heat ever get here? Will the sun show its face? Will the snow melt? Remember last year at this !me? We were riding in 20+ degrees!!! So many ques!ons…But one thing is real, Kitchener’s Garage PartyTM is here and with it, the start of spring and hopefully the riding season! What is a Ladies Only Garage Party? What do you do at

Ladies Garage byParty Manon a Garage Party? What do you learn and see? It’s quite simple; it’s a chance to meet up with old friends, make new ones, see what’s new in the fashion world, look at and try out the motorcycles; get informa!on on what to do and where to go if you want to get your motorcycling license; see what suits you; eat, drink, listen to music and best of all for the new, the interested and the not so new riders, to learn or refresh their knowledge of the motorcycling basics (oil change, !re pressure, etc.); gearing up for the ride (riding boots, jackets, right helmet fit, etc.); picking up a bike (yes, it will probably go down) and have FUN! Kitchener’s Garage Party was all that and more. A


Kitchener HD

Ladies Garage Party by Manon

silent aucon was held with many great items ranging from Billy Talent ckets, T-shirts, wine, Stag Shop gi basket, taoo gi cerficates, jewelry and many other items. All the proceeds from the silent aucon were for the benefit of F.A.C.E.I.T. a program founded by Dr. Annee Richard and nurse Johanne Nichols from London, Ontario for anyone with a

breast cancer diagnosis. The program offers crical praccal and emoonal support for the paent and their family as well. This program is free and they solely rely on private donaons. Congratulaon to Kitchener Harley-Davidson and thank you all (a lile over 130 ladies showed up) for the outstanding amount raised of $1,200.00! As always, the staff at KW was great, the food was plenty and delicious, the pink champagne fountain was

Harley Davidson

Show & Shine July 6, 2013 At L.C.M.C. Clubhouse 4859 Hillside Dr. Beamsville (Mountain St. To Albright Manor east on Hillside) $10 per person entry - Adults Only - No Pets

Food & Beverages Available Gates Open at Noon - Judging at 3:00-Awards at 4:30 pm

Patches for all exhibitors. Trophies for winners! More info: 905-563-4267 or e-mail


Kitchener HD

Ladies GaragebyParty Manon

flowing, and the handsome guitar player and singer, Smokin’ Dave, entertained us all evening. But it does not stop here…it is just the beginning. Kitchener has lots of fun things on the go for the upcoming riding season. Check out their website to find out all the news and events such as the demo rides, motorcycle boot camp

and lots more at: or find them on Facebook. Now, let’s get our gears and motorcycles ready for another amazing riding season. Oh yeah, almost forgot, they can also take care of that! Motorcycle quote: “Young riders pick a desnaon and go.............. Old riders pick a direcon and go.” Manon

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Cookie, the way I see it, you’ve got 3 options here. Drop your pants, bend over and just let her ram that mouse up your ass right here and now, arm yourself with whatever you can find and prepare for a battle which will still end up with that mouse being stuffed up your ass, or just run like Hell and never come back. THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 17

Cruising With Critter Well this has proven to be quite the ride for an old guy with bad knees and apparently fragile bones and also equally apparent issues with balance to go with the other challenges that I have to face on a daily basis. For those of you who are following my lile saga; and I know there are some as I’m asked about it all when I’m out and about. My broken ankle is mostly healed although I sll have to wrap it with a tensor bandage and brace it in order to get comfortably through the day and the right kneecap that I fractured gets wrapped and braced as well before I go out into the cruel old World each day. I’ve got so much wrapping and bracing on me that I’m sort of taking on the look of a mummified version of Robo-cop. I’m healing as well as can be expected although not able to go back to driving truck anyme soon and will wait for the results of an upcoming visit with my orthopedic surgeon who cleaned out my knee last Spring and told me I should go for the new knee at that me doesn’t put that opon back on the table again, and I’m thinking this me it is going to be my only opon. It looks like the neat Dragon cane that Gord from

Black Gold gave me is going to become a permanent piece of equipment and I’m keeping my crutches where I can find them as well, just in case, and now Krazy Bitch Karen has blinged it out and given him green jewels for eyes and ears and red ones for nostrils so it gets some aenon while giving me support. I’m geng excellent feedback from people out there who enjoy the small changes that the crew and I have made to the Mag thus far. I connue to learn and the transformaon from Old truck driver to old publisher/editor is slowly taking place. Thanks for your paence as I sll have lots to learn. Many have noced that the Riders Mag Facebook page is back up and running with Peppermint Pay volunteering to take on those dues as it only serves to confuse me. Our next challenge will be the Website as we are sll looking for the right combinaons or perhaps the right person or whatever to bring it all together the way we want it. We know what we want but right now we’re just not sure about how we are going to get there but get there we will. We have the site and stuff to make it


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Cruising With Critter happen and we want to get it going soon but we want to do it right. It is like planning a trip and knowing the desnaon and having the map spread out before you and deciding on a route that will enable you to take it all the other things you want to see on the way. We want the online print version of the Mag to be there of course, but we want to encompass far more on the website than what could possibly be contained in the pages of The Mag. We want it to a combinaon of all my other sites and offer full picture galleries to all of our contributors so that event coverage goes far beyond what we have room for in the Mag and there will be lots pictures that will be downloadable. It is our hope that the online version will allow us to go beyond the Ontario borders with our writers and give our readers firsthand accounts of events from afar as many do travel quite extensively and then there is our readership, many of whom are willing to share their adventures. But this in the near future and it is something I will strive for but we are not there yet. I know I have had many offers of reports on trips to Mexico, Sturgis, Daytona and so many other spots and I’d love to use them and have no doubt that they would be interesng to our readers but the truth is the print version of the Riders Mag is not the place for those features. We cover events from in and around Ontario and it can be a challenge for us to all of cover our adversed events and fit them into our pages in a somewhat mely fashion with our over worked volunteer staff. If among you there is such a champion in the Realm of Websites who can help us chart our journey through cyberspace please take a giant step forward for Fun, Fame and Fortune (Well more Fun and Fame than fortune……..OK a lot more Fun than Fame or Fortune)…………but I’ll definitely find a t shirt in your size for a start and if you drink 50 ………I’ll share! Seriously! We are in need and interested, so if qualified, give me a call and we’ll see what happens. We are so confident that it is going to happen soon that we are really starng to promote with some fantasc looking sckers, banners and such that my Big Irish buddy Murph did up for me a his newly opened Custom Imprint Business, R.U. O’Kaye up in the wilds of Bradford that we were handing out at the recent Naonal Motorcycle and Taoo Show but the site is sll a work in progress. The Criers crew cards are being accepted by

more and more establishments all the me and should offer some real value to the Riders out there with discounts ranging from 10 to 20% off being offered. It’s starng to get busy. The Spring Motorcycle Show will be covered in an arcle later in this issue and The Naonal Motorcycle and Taoo Show will have been completed by the me you read this. Then there is The Fort Erie Swap meet and then get on into a great riding season for 2013. If the ads that we have coming in are any indicaon this is going to be an excing year with new rides and adventures opening up on top of the regular ones. We got a call from The Ride Manitoulin group who are looking to build on their weekend event and it looks prey excing. I have been geng lots of inquiries about the dates for my Show and Shines and my answer has been that I will likely do two events myself this year one, someme in June and the other the last Sunday in Aug. Watch your Mags for details. They will be held at Black Gold on Gorham St. in Newmarket with some change-ups from last September’s event at that locaon. Being the Guy in training for the last while and being a hands on sort of guy and wanng to know the delivery routes beyond that of my own, so I’ve had the disnct pleasure of riding along with the recently

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Cruising With Critter rered guy, JR for the past two months to have him show me the ropes while he can sll retain the informaon. These routes are in JR’s back yard and I rarely ventured over this way for fear that such an intrusion may have looked upon as an effort on my part to expand the borders of “Crier Country” into the Big Guys turf and therefore I only came over the Big Bridge on special invitaon as I didn’t need reprisal. To me, up unl JR dumped all this in my lap and said now it’s yours to deal with, many of these businesses that we deliver Mags to each month and adverse on these pages each month especially in this forbidden zone or “CAAZ” (Crier aint allowed here zone.) were largely just ads. But now it is different. JR turned the Mag over to me and I can go everywhere and anywhere and not have to worry about reprisal. Not even from Tim! Now I was going to see real mortar and brick and meet real people and at last, be able to put faces and names to the many ads. I was looking forward to it. Last Month it was the Hamilton Mountain, Norfolk run that took us down through Caledonia, Branord, Woodstock, Norwich, Simcoe, Turkey Point, Port Dover, Selkirk, Jarvis, and Hagersville. This is part of Jr.’s Stomping ground and he knows it well. Me, I’m an old truck driver who has driven through all these roads at one me or another over the years but it was a blur to me as I was listening to JR (And those of you out there who know JR and have spent any me with him, you will know that talking is one of his strong suits…………REALLY STRONG SUITS!) and keeping your concentraon and keeping one’s bearings while scoong down this short cut or that short cut is not an easy feat. I saw some great country and he introduced me to many wonderful people, many of whom are adversers like, China King, Paradise Gardens, Kool Kid’s Ice, and many others and I would have met many more but we were pressed for me as JR wanted to be back for the closing of the Markets so we pressed on. This past Month I went along once again with JR, this me through his Hamilton Run and this was a blur at best as JR knows this city like the back of his hand and has the whole one way Street system figured out and zips this way and that way down laneways and in and out of traffic giving me a fast paced guided tour of the City that has always confused me a bit (With me being from the other side of the Lake where our North

and South seem different from North and South on this side of the lake) and my head was spinning. It is clear that JR loves this City and the people in it and they love him back. He was totally in his element. It was a Monday and many of the places we delivered to were closed but I got to actually see where

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many of the businesses who adverse in the Mag are located and meet some of them. We pulled up in front of Leathers and it was immediately recognizable by the fantasc enormous sign. I had never been here before and was impressed to say the least as JR took me in and introduced me as


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Cruising With Critter the new guy as I tried to take everything about this fantasc store in before JR had to physically drag me out telling me that I was on his me and a shopping spree wasn’t going to happen. So we le behind all those great looking boots and other fantasc stuff that I will have to take a trip back there to see and we were off on our mission once again. We did stop for lunch at The Galley Pump as JR well knows my fondness for good roast beef and he has long bragged about the roast beef they serve here being as the absolute best, anywhere. It was not an empty boast and now with appete and taste buds well sasfied and thirst quenched by a cold 50, we were back on track. I even got to meet Cathy from Cathy’s Country Kitchen as we stopped and delivered her Mags. The day flew by and we were back at JR’s where I’d le the Black Bitch, I said good bye to my friend, mentor and guide and headed for home wondering if I’d be able to duplicate the route I’d just covered on my own. We will find out some day how much I was able to retain in my red old memory banks but it was a


fantasc day filled with great stories and facts and me well spent with a good friend. The good news is that with a couple of wrong turns here and there I was able to get The Norfolk Run that I was shown last month completed on my own this past month. So there may yet be hope for this old fart. It seems that every month now, in this column, I have to advise of the death of yet, another friend and sadly, I must report the passing of long-me friend Rick Gunn. Rick lost his bale with Mulple Myeloma at the age of fiy six at Southlake Hospital, in Newmarket. While surrounded by his family with Jimi Hendrix’s version of Voodoo Chile blasng from an I phone placed on his pillow he slipped away peacefully. A fi!ng last moment, and a peaceful exit for a man who’s life was about music and family. I have no real idea how long I’ve known Rick for but it goes back to when he worked at Davies HD in Richmond Hill and while we didn’t keep in constant

Cruising With Critter contact, as our lives and schedules conflicted constantly and his invitaons for me to come out to the spots where he was playing never happened but I was always glad to see him and when I did he was a pleasure to be around. He would always drop by the Mag booth at any of the shows he was able to aend to just shoot the shit and keep in touch. He even brought his lovely daughter Lisa around for a photo shoot on some bikes one evening a couple of years back, to help me promote a line of t shirts that I was markeng. Rick was a very talented musician who could make a guitar talk, cry, sing, moan, laugh or convey any emoon that he wanted it to anyme he wanted it to. He was a master.

I aended the funeral service and was immediately struck by the crowd that had turned out to celebrate the life of the man who had touched the hearts and souls of so many. Not just the numbers, as Rick was well known and his life touched and inspired many people and he travelled in many different circles throughout his life but the diversity of the congregaon spoke volumes. I expected to see friends and family of course and lots of musicians and bikers as Rick was well known to the biker community, and Bob Davies and a large segment of the crew from Davies HD were there as I would have expected, but there was also a large con-


Cruising With Critter ngency of Metro Police officers, not there to keep tabs on the biker segment (As I first suspected.) but to pay respects to Rick and his family. The place was packed with standing room only. I took my turn at signing the giant poster of Rick on his Harley that was displayed just inside the door. Bill Laurin, a long-me friend and band mate of Rick’s got up and did a hearelt, sincere and emoonal eulogy in which he tried to sum up the life and mes of this complex, somemes quirky and complicated individual, Frank’s Magic Crops, Inc. who had a remarkable sense Owner Frank Pastor Jr. of humour that at Horticulturalist Class III U of T mes bordered Over 35 Yrs. Experience on strange, as Hydroponic Growing & Lighting Systems Bill told of his for Vegetables & Flowers ancs that could extremely funny and, at mes, Store Hours Mon. - Fri.: 11:00 - 6:00 explosive, and did Saturday : 11:00 - 2:00 his best to capsuClosed Sunday lize the life that was Rick Gunn. His love and E-mail : respect for his Tel. (905) 333 3282 friend was evident 480 Guelph Line Fax (905) 639 9190 Burlington, Ontario Toll Free 1 800 668 0980 in the masterful Canada L7R 3M1 handling of a job


that can only be done by someone who is emoonally aached. It is a job that is not wanted, but in friendship, you do what you have to do and do the best you can and Bill brought his “A” game and did Rick, his family and his friends proud. Rick would have been embarrassed. As if playing an instrument (Like Rick playing his guitar and squeezing every note and sound out of it.) Bill’s words played on the congregaon’s emoons and brought them to tears one moment then lied them to laughter the next and so it went. It was a roller coaster ride of emoons and a fine tribute to a fine friend whose life was that roller coaster ride. I wanted to applaud when he was done but knew that it would be inappropriate, but it was a job well done. Rick, the World will miss your music, your humour, your smile and your presence. Rest in peace my friend but see if you can raise some Hell in Rock and Roll Heaven. GBNF! I was unable to make the tribute celebraon at the bar on College St. that evening but by all accounts it was a blast and a great tribute to the man. I recently had a meeng with someone who many of you have known for years and has been an icon in the area, Kae formerly of Frankie’s in Mount Hope where many of you have enjoyed her company, hospitality, some great food and beverages over the past fieen years or so suddenly and through no fault of her own, reluctantly closed the landmark establishment last December. The bar served as host for many bike events over the years like show and shines, stops for poker runs and was just a great place to stop on the way to or from Port Dover or just a great desnaon on its own and required no other excuse other that you just wanted to stop in for some great food or a beer. The bar has a new name, new sign and new owners now, but Kae is no longer involved. She wanted to tell all her friends that she misses them and wanted to give them some idea as to what happened as there were many rumours. I also had the pleasure of meeng Jim Stephenson, owner of The Checkered Flag Bar and Grill located just down the road from the bar formerly known as Frankie’s. Jim and Kae had maintained a friendly rivalry over the years and with the closing of Frankie’s Jim has decided to step up and offer to host the same Biker

Cruising With Critter friendly events and perhaps even step it up a notch or for your kind words of support and encouragement. And lastly, but not least, thanks to JR who had the two at The Checkered Flag. faith in me and made all this possible and for his supMany Clubs and organizaons have already port and in doing the incredible job with adversing so pledged their support. that I can keep this Magazine alive. He is starng a Monday Night Riders Special and is offering two for one burgers. He will also offer a 13% discount with a Crier Crew Card. Now you can’t beat a deal like that with a sck! Great food! Great atmosphere and great CUSTOM WORKS prices! There was a hint PARTS, ACCESSORIES that Kae herself may AND INSTALLATION just appear at events from me to me. Now, as for The Mag itself. You all must know that I have 7 MAIN STREET EAST SELKIRK ONTARIO N0A 1P0 always loved what I Now I’m feeling that this is a job that was made for do with The Mag and have been proud to have been a part of it and working the Shows with Sr. especially has me and I see the potenal for growth in The Mag and in myself and it srs my creave juices like never before been a blast and the treatment I got wherever I travand wake each day up wanng to get out to the shop elled was unbelievable and most unexpected. and make this work. I did not however have any intenon of ever My mind is once again racing with ideas to the running the thing and strongly resisted Jr.’s constant point where sleep is hard to come by. aempts to unload it on me as I didn’t believe I was It is indeed another adventure. qualified or capable. Thank you all for your paence and understanding. Now we are four issues in and I pause to reflect. I was stressed out not that long ago as that awful All kidding aside, back in December I had thoughts number 65 loomed ominously on the horizon and that taking this on might well have been the biggest thoughts of rerement terrified me. I found out that single mistake that I’d ever made in my enre life. But with the help and support of my family, friends life aint over ‘l the fat lady sings and my new philosophy is; Don’t quit when she clears her throat and steps and my fantasc crew, Al and Pay (With my Grandup to the stage, live unl that last note resonates in son Nick pitching in as well) in the layout of the Mag your ears. and teaching me skills that I never had but I’ll need to Just when I thought my horizons may have been move forward with this and all their help at the shows collapsing on me things opened up and the horizon is along with the words of encouragement from them expanding in a way I never thought possible. and you, our readers we got over that inial hump So for any of you out there who think calmed my doubts, fears, and insecuries and it is getthat life is over aer you hit a certain age, ng beer, much beer. Godzilla has been a huge help as well and her skills age doesn’t mean shit! See you out there! with bookkeeping will be a tremendous asset in making sense of my haphazard treatment of receips and stuff and teaching me beer habits. For an online library of this and other columns I also have to say thanks to the fine folks at Canand cartoons along with an archive of pictures web prinng for their help and paence. from events covered by Crier check out I have to give a shout out to all of you loyal readers THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 25



Spring Motorcycle

Show 2013 by Critter Winners Continued from Page 14

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What’s Shakin’ July 13 – Aces and Eights MC – Christmas In July Toy Ride Starts – Durham Children’s Aid Society. 1320 Airport Blvd. Oshawa, On (off Taunton Rd.) registraon begins 9:00 AM kickstands up – 10:00 AM- rain or shine. One toy per bike required to register. Ride ends at Kawartha Biker’s Church in Peterborough, more info contact marbles – ken@bltconstrucon. com

July 19 -21 - Ride Manitoulin Motorcycle Rally –-Poker Run – Ladies Ride – Show and Shine – Biker Games Camping – Live Bands – More –

July 20 – Cargill Bike Bash Cargill Community Centre – Jerry Lippert Memorial Poker Run – Saturday 9:00 AM – 1:00 PM Show and Shine 12:00 PM – 3:00 PM and Lots, Lots More! Camping available!

August Aug. 9 -11 – Cow Paddy’s 2nd Annual Rodeo and Roast Starts 12:00 PM – 11101 County Rd. 15, North Augusta. Advance ckets $20 For info – or call Greg or Susie 613-926-0799

Aug. 10 - Recovery Riders Ride For Hope

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There was a family gathering, with all generaons around the table. Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa’s drink, and aer a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom. When he returned, however, his trousers are wet all over. ‘What happened, Grandpa?’ asked by his concerned children. ‘Well,’ he answered, ‘I don’t really know.I had to go to the bathroom. So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn’t mine, so I put it back!’ ”Turtle” Continued on Page 33

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September Sept. 21st- Biketoberfest XI 2013 By “The Fabulous Fenwick Lions” 11th Anniversary of the Largest Motorcycle Event in Niagara, “Come & Enjoy The Day” / 905-892-6004

Sept. 28th - Big Daddy’s Cow Paddy Toy Run All together ride – details to be announced For info – or call Greg or Susie at 613-926-0799

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I.C.C. 1/1

This month’s feature guy is Joe and this is his home built custom chopper that he put together in his basement over 2 years with a lot of trial and error. A good local bike shop owner who supplied many of the parts used in pung this beauty together and spent much of his me talking Joe out of every bad idea that he had along the process. Joe says every me I had an idea of something that I thought might be cool I’d tell Pete and he would usually give me 5 reasons why it was a bad idea ending with but do whatever you want. Like so many of us Joe had been riding since he was a young lad riding metric both on and off the road for many years. He even earned his nickname of Pocono JoJo from his me back in the day racing metric bikes on a racetrack in the Pocono’s that was primarily an oval. The track also had a quarter mile strip built into it and he ended up being sponsored by a local bike shop from the area and they announced him as “Pocono JoJo” when he made his runs down the strip. He says that he travelled to various strips in both the U.S.A. and Canada over the years primarily riding in for the day and racing then riding home that same day. As me went by he lost


two of his closest buddies to an accident and of course that made him think twice about his riding and his racing and he sold off his bikes and se!led down to become a husband and a father. Joe says that lasted for about 10 years and things started to get difficult with his wife who soon became his ex-wife and he started to get the itch to get back onto the road and ride a bike. Once he was certain that he had his finances in order having paid off his ex and ensured that his kids were well provided for he went out and bought himself a Honda 900 Custom and got back on the road. Joe started to do some riding again including making a few longer rides one of which was to Sturgis where he was riding the black hills with bikes from all over North America.

I.C.C. 1/1 but they found aer arrival of the frame that it would not work with the stroker powerplant that they had planned to put into the bike so the frame was put in the window for sale cheap. This frame caught Joe’s aenon and he had the first piece of his project bike and he took it home and put it in his basement and started planning. He purchased a front end and also a set of wheels now having a rolling chassis he considered having the spokes on the wheels removed and powder coated black to give him the black and blue look that he was going for and he contacted an expert in relacing wheels who said that the problem with his idea was that there was the possibility that some of the spokes would get scratched while inserng them through the hub to reconnect with the rim, so the idea was discarded. He purchased an Ulma 120” motor with matching transmission, open primary, and had Pete install the He ran into a rider who once he asked him where he was proper gears into the transmission for the build he was from said to him, what the hell are you doing out here riding contemplang and added a 1” longer output sha to the black hills when you have the best ride in North America accommodate the wide rear re that was going onto the bike. Wanng the extra clean look he opted for the sproter just east of you in the Marimes, the “Cabot Trail” this was on the rear wheel which is a combinaon rotor and sprocket a sign for Joe besides being exposed to more Harleys that he could ever imagine he also had a new mission to ride the giving him that finish. Cabot Trail. Joe had always wanted a Harley so in 2003 he went out and bought himself a brand new soail and over me invested a tremendous amount of money into it buying a kit to offset the engine transmission and primary for a wide re conversion. He manufactured his own swing arm at work as a tool and die maker and put the whole bike together on his own and was very proud of his first ride and also the customizaon that he had done on his own. Joe says that this conversion was somewhat inspired by some of the bike building shows of the day and he enjoyed watching the shows and became interested in building himself a wild chopper like the ones that that guy on the west coast was building so he had it in his mind that if the opportunity presented itself that he was gonna build himself He connected all the controls to the power and brakes a wild ride. with braided stainless cables and all the wiring is internal in The aforemenoned bike shop owner and builder had the frame and he even frenched in some L.E.D. brakelights/ a frame that was purchased for a client to build a drag bike taillights/signal lights into the rear swingarm using bullets on the front. The paint is black and the flames were hand stenciled by a friend and done in blue. He has been riding this bike for 4 years now and sold his 2003 soail aer finishing off this bike as two bikes were impraccal for him taking a Ford Mach I mustang in trade. Joe is interested in selling this bike or trading it for a newer street glide so he can go touring and get that ride on the Cabot Trail that he’s been wanng to get to for a decade he just needs the right ride, oh yeah he’d trade or sell that mustang was well for a nice bike, Joe sends special thanks to Pete Steckler for talking him out of his bad ideas. If you’re interested in playing let’s make a deal with Joe please contact the mag and we will pass your contact info along to him.


Biker Church with Paster Dave Neals What was Easter about?

I.C.C. 1/1 Owner: Joe City: Innerkip, ON General Year & Make: 2007 ACCE Model: Soail Assembly by: Owner Time: 1 Year Value: For Sale Engine Year: 2007 Model: Evoluon Builder: Ulma El Bruto Displacement: 120” Lower end: Ulma Pistons: Ulma Rods: Ulma Flywheels: Ulma Balancing: Ulma Cylinders: Ulma Cases: Ulma Heads: Ulma Valves: H-D Cam: Ulma Liers: Ulma Ignion: Key Coils/Wires: Crane Carb: Mikuni Air Cleaner: D & D Spike Pipes: Marn Brothers Transmission Year: 2007 Make: Ulma Type: 6 Speed Right side drive Shiing: foot Clutch: Dry Primary Drive: Ulma 3.5” Open Pain!ng Painterl: Mike Paint: Black P.P.G. Type: Base/Clear Special Paint: Blue Ghost Flames Type: House of Kolor Blue Frame Year: 2005 Builder: Accesorising

Type: California Soail 1 Downtube Rake: 45’ Swing Arm: Soail Stretch : 4” up, 2” out Rear Suspension: Soail Accessories Handlebars: 1-1/2” Beefy Drags Risers: 6” Ignion Switch: yes Controls: Arlen Ness Seat: I.C.C. Custom Tailight: yes Oil Tank: yes Gas Tank: Street Rod Front Pegs: Yes Rear Pegs: No Foot Controls: Yes Electrics: Yes Grips: Eddie Tro#a Spiral Headlight: yes Speedometer: Dakota Digital Turn Signals: yes Mirrors: two Primary Cover: none Front End Type: 58mm Year: 2007 Trees: 5’ Builder: Ulma Special Features: 12” over Wheels Front Size: 21” Type: 80 Spoke Tire:120/21 Avon Brake: Hawg Halters Fender: Craech Rear Size: 18” Type: 80 Spoke Tire: 300 Avon Brakes: Hawg Halters Sproket Brake Fender: Custom Laser cut Model: Tracey


Queson: Can you remember what you were doing when President Kennedy was killed? How about Elvis Presley? And a real hard one what about the Gulf War? I am sure almost all the readers can do that simple exercise. The end of March we celebrated Easter Sunday, when Jesus Christ rose from the cave aer he was crucified on the cross, a history lesson we know well, the man who was put to death for doing nothing wrong. If that happened today he probably would have been a biker or related to one, RIGHT! But I would like to take you back to an old story in the Life’s Manual “Luke 24:13-53. We find 2 woman going to the tomb with spices but when they got their they found the, stone had been rolled away and the body of Jesus was gone, The first queson was where, when and how has this happened . If you can remember from reading the Easter story you will remember verse 7 – The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again (Easter). The day aer the crucifixion two disciples were walking away from their friends, in shock at what had happened during the past few days. Possibly they had decided it was best to put space between them and Jerusalem but sll in shock at the crucifixion of Jesus. They were heading to Emmaus and as they were walking and discussing what had happened in Jerusalem during the past couple of days, when they realized there was no longer two but now three. The 3rd man asked what are you guys talking about? Their answer was right there. The 3rd man was Jesus. How oen do we caught up in our bikes we become total ignorant of Jesus standing right beside us. I am sure their response was something like man where have you been, an innocent man was hauled into court, found guilty of doing nothing wrong and was sentenced to be crucified, where have you been? And on the third day they found his body gone from a tomb that had been sealed, the guards passed out, linen strips found on the floor of the cave, friends had seen the cave and it was indeed empty. Jesus turns to them,”You guys are foolish,” I am

Biker Church

with Paster Dave Neals

sure that stop them in their,. Jesus always speaks plainly, may be painful but it is the truth that sets us free! These men had certainly been bound up in their own fears and doubts to the point they couldn’t even recognize the truth even if it slapped them on the face. Jesus wanted them to see the words in our Life’s Manual , The Bible that he was the Messiah – just as our sufferings are proof of Sonship. I am sure Jesus revealed his true identy in the quietness and inmacy of that evening meal. Though he was a guest he was a Rabbi, took the honours extended to him, to invoke the blessing of the food. Before they had seen him feed 5,000 – from a few loaves and fish, he had healed, opened eyes. Not waing for next day these men headed back to Jerusalem and did not even wait for morning but travelled at night to tell the others “WE MAKE MORE HORSEPOWER” the good news. Things had not changed but WE DO they had been with man that had HARLEY-DAVIDSON’S been crucified who had the evening meal with them just the night AND METRICS before. ALL MAKES God was in control of all their circumstances. Jesus said he would AND MODELS never leave us therefore he must be with us all the me. He lets us vent but he assures he is right there listening and waing for His turn to speak. He reveals himself in the silence, when we have emped out, and can recognize him to find out he had been there all the me. How too oen we need to be reminded he is in control of all situaons. We need to pour out our heart to him, be honest, then sit and listen. The Easter Message is Jesus is not a God of the past; a dead God can’t help . He is indeed raised from the grave-defeated death and sin and every foe that assails us! And he is right there with you, at all meswalking with you HARLEY EXTENDED WARRANTY CENTER even (especially) in your darkest moment of doubt and confusion. Pastor Dave



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SHENANIGANS EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK. As we all know, there has been a long standing joke, about how women notoriously over pack. Far be it for us, to forget something, that may at some point, by some remote chance, be needed. What can we say, we are beer prepared than boy scouts, much to the chagrin of others around us? Being prepared for your own personal needs, breakdowns, and gremlins, or helping another rider, male or female, with theirs, is always an advantage. This brings me to the topic of saddlebag essenals lists, and the LESS is MORE consideraon, when preparing them. The first list, includes more of a personal items checklist, some of which, you ladies may already carry, in the boomless pits, that are your purses. For our male counterparts, I will include the lists in their enrety , because they are not specific to ladies only, and do not include normally worn riding gear. Items can be placed in durable waterproof bags, or a kit placed in a bag, which will help prevent moisture damage, and keep things secure. - 2nd pair of riding glasses (day or night), or spare visor. - extra gloves or gauntlets - rain gear (pants and jacket) - hat, bandanna, and or hair elascs - first aid kit - suntan loon (travel size) - hand sanizer (travel size) - lip balm (prevents chapping) - eye drops - bole of water and nutrion bar





with Sherri O’Irish - current road map - spare or motorcycle cell charger - small LED flashlight and lighter - glow scks (night markers) - pain relievers, anhistamines, insect repellent and bite care - towel or shammy - ssues and moist towelees (travel size) The second list, is a tool bag checklist, designed to help you and others, to maintain and repair minor problems along the ride. Although pre-assembled tool bags can be purchased, you may want to add or omit any number of items, or simply put together your own array of quality compact tools and items, as availability of space permits, these lists are intended as guides only. - ratchet, sockets and extensions - mul-bit screwdriver - allan wrenches, re gauge - vice grips, needle nose pliers, and or a mul tool - electrical and duct tape (condensed rolls) - spare bolts, nuts, bulbs and fuses - extra spark plugs and a scrap of sand paper - e wraps, hose clamps, heat shrink - 6’ clear siphon/repair hose - rags - bungee cords and a garbage bag (waterproofing cargo) - kickstand plate (so and uneven ground) Some may argue, that you only need 3 things, when you go for a ride on your bike, a cell phone, a credit card, and a roadside assistance plan. This may be the best tacc for some instances and riders, but for others, what you have in your saddlebags, may be the difference between riding or not. A pre-drive inspecon, can alert you to many problems, before you leave for a quick ride or long trip. Always check res for air pressure and tread damage, controls for soness of applied pressure, brake applicaon (front and back), chassis for loose bolts, lights and signals are working, oil and fuel levels are topped up, with no visible leaks, and that your storage and e downs are secure. Taking a few minutes to look over your bike, before you leave home, can save you me, money and even your life. The common recognion, for a rider needing assistance, is to remove your helmet and place it on the ground visibly beside the bike. Although preventave maintenance is always suggested, Murphy’s Law can and does happen! Help out your fellow and female bikers in need, if and when you can.

Remember: Karma is only a Bitch if you are!


Joke The pharmacist walks into his store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He asks the Newfie clerk: “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk responds: “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an enre bole of Ex-Lax.” The pharmacist yells: “You idiot, you can’t treat a cough with a laxave!” The Newfie clerk responds.................. “Of course you can! “ “Look at him, he’s afraid to cough”.

Page to her about the raise. She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?” Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.” “The first is that I iron beer than you.” Wife: “Who said you iron beer than me?” Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.” Wife: “Oh yeah?” Maria: “The second reason eez that I am a beer

We’ll have to learn a new term known as ‘Lesbionics’.... What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? A licker cabinet What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well hung. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table doesn’t have balls. What’s the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian? One’s a snack cracker; the other’s a crack snacker. What do you have when you’ve got 50 lesbians and 50 Ontario provincial government workers? 100 people that don’t do dick. “Turtle” The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 33

Joke !

Page cook than you.” Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a beer cook than me?” Maria: “Jor hozban did.” Wife , increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?” Maria: “The third reason is that I am beer at sex than you in the bed.” Wife, really boiling now and through gried teeth. Wife: “And did my husband say that as well?” Maria: “No Señora....”The gardener did.” Wife: “So, how much do you want?” Last weekend I was eang breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, What day is tomorrow?”. Without skipping a beat she said, “It’s Prime Minister Day!”. She’s smart, so I asked her “What does Prime Minister Day mean?”. I was waing for something about Trudeau or Marn, etc. She replied, “Prime Minister Day is when Prime Minister Harper steps outof the Prime Minister Mansion, And if he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Shit.” “Turtle” You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!




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1, Hamilton Road, London, Ont. N6B-1M9 Dave was staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily. What’s up Dave? asked the bartender…It’s not like you to be so down in the mouth. It’s my four year old son…the man replied. Don’t tell me, he’s in trouble for fighng in school? – my lads just the same – forget about it; it happens to boys that age, said the bartender, sympathecally.

Man isn’t this awkward? I only wish it was that, connued the customer, but it’s far worse than that. The lile bastard has got our gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbor pregnant.


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A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever...... Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa. There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen. Rest gets married and wonders what happened! Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument. Why do women live a Beer, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men? A very INTELLIGENT student replied: “Because Women don’t have a wife!”



“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that,” he said. “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about geng married” COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE Dear Mother-in-law, Don’t teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!? I WILL THINK ABOUT IT: When a married man says, I’ll think about it - what he really means is that he doesn’t know his wife’s opinion yet. TALKING IN SLEEP: A lady says to her doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?” The doctor replies: “Give him an opportunity to speak when he’s awake! Lile Johnnie’s neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from The hospital, Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby. Before they le their house, Lile Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that

a the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much menoned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Lile Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, ‘What a beauful baby. ‘The mother said, ‘Why, Thank you, Johnnie. Johnnie said, ‘He has beauful lile feet, beauful lile hands, a cute lile nose and really beauful eyes. Can he see all right?’


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Page when you have been With your partner for a short me, and you are so needy you will have sex Anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with Your partner for a long me. Your sex has goen roune, and you usually have Sex only in your bedroom. The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with Your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say ‘F*ck you..’ The 5th kind of sex is called: Catholic Sex. * Which means you get Nun in The morning, Nun in the aernoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular) The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your Wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a lile each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a top quarterback. ‘Yes’, the mother replied, ‘we are so thankful; the He had scouted all the colleges and even the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision.’ Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ‘That’s great’, said Lile Johnnie, ‘coz he’d be fucked ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. if he needed glasses Then one night while watching CNN he saw a warzone scene in Afghanistan. Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex. In one corner of the background, he spoed a The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible of sex happens when arm. You first meet someone, and you both have sex unl He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story you are blue in the face. window 100 yards away. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is KA BOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! “I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!” So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the game of gridiron. Major & Minor Repairs, Rebuilds & Scheduled Service Complete Machine Shop Service, Frame Up Build to Order And the Bears go on to win the Harley Davidson Trained P.H.D. Mechanic Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother. /

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“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!” “I don’t want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says. “You are not my son!” “I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporng event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.” “No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. “The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, “I will never forgive you for forcing us to move to Chicago !!!

“Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?” “Pepe ees not a bacon tree. Ees... Ees... Ees... Ees... Ees... Ees... Ees... a ham bush.” ‘Hello, is this the Police Office?’ ‘Yes. What can I do for you?’ ‘I’m calling to Continued on Page 45

s l l i r h Spills T


Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert aer crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says: “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.” “Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon.” With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork. “Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!” “Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don’t forget.” “Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon? Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!” With that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath: “Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!”




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Motorcyco Beau Well I guess it was only a maer of me before Spring would finally come around to bless the eastern townships, but the truth is it seemed like it was never going to get here because things would clean up and then we’d get another snow dump but it looks like it is here to stay, what a difference from last year when we were on the road by St. Pay’s Day. Just a lile over a week ago I went down to Toronto along with several of my brothers, to aend the motorcycle/ taoo show in Toronto, and for most of the trip down to Hog town, the main topic of discussion was about how much snow we sll had on the ground and how there was no snow anywhere for the last hundred miles or so of our trip. Coming down to this show was a well deserved opportunity to us to get out and breathe in the smell of new leathers, old swap and to hook up with some long-me friends. Crier & I had a chance to talk over my finally deciding to write a monthly column for the Mag, and for providing me with the chance to reach out to all the motorcycle riders in E. Ontario with more informaon on what is taking place in their community and about some of the special people who make it all happen and hopefully over me I will be able to bring more of what is going on in the Eastern Ontario area that local riders may want to follow or even parcipate in. One event that is coming up on April 27th, will be the official kick-off of the month of May being proclaimed Biker Awareness Month by the Mayor of Oawa. A number of city buses will have signs affixed to their backs reminding drivers to pay aenon and be aware of motorcyclists that share the road with them and along with the buses, there will be a number of automated signs throughout the city that will flash the message to automobile drivers to remain aware of motorcycle riders and to share the road and keep them safe. I want to menon at this me that while some corporate companies were contacted to ask them to parcipate in the awareness campaign the only one that did was Canadian Tire, but while we had hoped they would do something local like print on the back of receipts for people to watch out for bikers, they chose to try and do it across the province, so I take my

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Motorcyco Beau hat oďŹ&#x20AC; to CTC for their response. The whole awareness campaign is the brain-child of a group local to O awa called S.O.A.R (Society of O awa Area Riders) where a number of people represenÂ?ng a wide spectrum of the motorcycle communiÂ?es gather and try and make things safer & be er for those who ride. Some of those who sit on the board of S.O.A.R have been involved in the poliÂ?cs of the biker community for years and projects like having May declared Biker Awareness Month and giving out bumper/window sÂ?cker and other promoÂ?onal items to promote rider safety are just some of the eďŹ&#x20AC;orts they are involved in. I sit on the board S.O.A.R represenÂ?ng the Riders Mag as well as Motorcyco Beauâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and along with great people like Rusty Godin for The CelÂ?c Brotherhood, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;lovelyâ&#x20AC;? Dora Di, for the Motor Maids, Mike â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bozâ&#x20AC;? Bossio, from O.R.R.A. ( Ontario Road Riders AssociaÂ?on) and Derek â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wrenchâ&#x20AC;? Pitcher from Eagle Custom Chopper and many, many others from local area riding clubs or groups including the Bikers Church and the O awa River Riders. Hopefully the gods of weather will give us a great day and allow riders to come by and show their support for this iniÂ?aÂ?ve. In the O awa area the real sign that spring will have arrived is the Capital City Bikers Churchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Swap Meet & Info Day that will take place this year on May 4th at their church on Carillion Street, in the Vanier sector of east end O awa. For many years this swap meet that the church provides is free both to vendors and visitors and their swap meet is a place where most people come to hoping to maybe get rid of some of the parts leÂ?

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from the Far East.... Ontario that is! over from winter builds and to hunt for treasure before they oďŹ&#x192;cially hit the road on their bikes. I actually think that most people a end this event simply because it is their ďŹ rst real chance to socialize with all their riding buddies and to ďŹ nd out what is happening as far as events and potenÂ?al road trips for the upcoming season. Along with vendors dealing in swap there is a large number of motorcycle/biker organizaÂ?ons some of whom I menÂ?oned earlier and they a end the show as an opportunity to provide the biker community with all sorts of useful informaÂ?on. Groups including The CelÂ?c Brotherhood, S.O.A.R., Motor Maids, The O awa River Riders and of course, The Riderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mag where we are always doing our best to keep you informed and where we 5XVW3URRĂ&#x20AC;QJ by Rust Authority will be handing out copies with creeping agent of The Riders Mag to many Cars $80.00+taxes of those who stop by to say Trucks/SUVs Hello! starting at $100.00+taxes The month of May will also see 8QLERG\)XOO)UDPH a number of area cruise nights 6WUDLJKWHQLQJ :LQGVKLHOG5HSODFHPHQW that conÂ?nue throughout the 9HKLFOH6WUXFWXUDO6DIHWLHV whole summer begin their $350 +taxes season, most notably the )UHH&RPSXWHUL]HG(VWLPDWHV Sunday cruise night at Dennyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s KUbody shop rate in the South Keys, Gillardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s &XVWRP3DLQW:RUN cruise   0"   night on Hwy 2 east of &ROOLVLRQ5HVWRUDWLRQV Morrisburg on Thursday nights !%,&$.(/&%+))(-(+*%$0(*'+%,&$.(/&%+))(-(+*%$ on Any Type of Vehicle and the Wednesday cruise

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night at Rideau Carleton Raceway, or just where to go for a all of which are brought to you by good me in the upcoming TCB. weekend, we want to help A few weeks back I had the pleasure you get the best out of of aending a Retread’s Breakfast what makes our lifestyle the in Morrisburg and was felt quite a greatest. home in a group where you have to One more thing that I would be at least 40 yrs old to belong...and like to ask of all the riders the 40 yr olds are the “kids” of the in the Eastern Ontario group. region is that if you know I had the pleasure of sing beside of any businesses that have two lovely ladies who were not only shown you to have gone charming but one of them is a young out of their way to support 88 yrs old and her and I had a great the motorcycle community me trading stories and somewhere where you live, please take during the conversaon we decided the me to let me know who that she would be my “cougar” they are and what they do much to the great amusement of all that makes you feel they go those nearby who got to parcipate that extra mile to make bikers in our conversaon. feel welcome. I have always said that bikers have We have to learn the power more fun than regular people do of our lifestyle because when and all the folks at this breakfast you consider all the money certainly proved me right. that bikers contribute to just If you are over 40 and looking for great people to ride by all the countless charity rides & events that go on all with and for going on runs with, try finding a local across Ontario let alone Canada and the U.S., we make Retreads chapter in your area because if they are a difference and we deserve to be recognized for our anything like the folks in Eastern Ontario Retreads...You parcipaon in the society we live in. will truly enjoy yourself. I guess I had beer stop here because There is a lot going on this summer in the east and when I start geng polical about being a I am hoping that this monthly column will allow buddies all reach for the Tylenol the Mag & myself to reach out and bring the biker 2’s and everyone starts looking for the exit communies together and I also hope that whenever door. Thank you for all your support and I you see me at any of the cruise nights, charity runs or look forward to meeng more of you out any other event, you will come by and say hello and if on the road this summer!. you know of any shows or events that I am not aware Brotherhood! ....Beau aka Motorcyco! of, you will let me know. It will take me a lile bit of me to get the hang of wring a column that covers the broad spectrum of what is going on in our community CLEARANCE SALE! 20-30% OFF STOREWIDE but that is the type of thing that we RIDING GEAR SUPERSTORE GREAT SAVINGS are focused on here at the Mag, we JOE ROCKET, SPEED & STRENGTH. TEKNIC, TOUR MASTER don’t just want to tell you where Motorcycle Jackets, Pants, Gloves, Helmets, Rain Suits to go or what to buy or just make NELSON RIGGS, TALISMAN MOTORCYCLE LUGGAGE TANK BIBS, SADDLEBAGS, TOOLBAGS you laugh at the pages of jokes, we HARLEY-DAVIDSON, BATES, BOULET, want to help riders get important ROADIRON, MARTINO BOOTS informaon that directly relates Riding Goggles, Glasses Patches, Stickers, Biker Pins to their lifestyle and whether it is Large Selection of T-Shirts & Hoodies and much more about legal issues, discriminaon Visit us Online 2822 HOWARD AVE. WINDSOR, ON 1-800-310-1389




Joke report ‘bout my neighbor Jack Murphy. He’s hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there..’ ‘Thank you very much for the call, sir.’ The next day, twelve St Johns Police Officers descend on Jack’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Jack and leave.. Shortly, the phone rings at Jack’s house. ‘Hey, Jack! This here’s Floyd....Did the Police come?’ ‘Yeah!’ ‘Did they chop your firewood?’ ‘Yep!’ ‘Happy Birthday, buddy!’ (Newfies know how to get’er done)

Page I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgoen old lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe. The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in

This says it all about geng older & the whole aging thing. An elderly couple, Lucy & John, were recently aending church services at The Villages. About halfway through the service, Lucy took a pen and paper out of her purse, wrote a note and handed it to John . The note said: “ I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?” John scribbled back, “ Put a new baery in your hearing aid.” Celibacy can be a choice in life, Or a condion imposed by circumstances. While aending a Marriage Weekend, My wife and I, listened to the instructor declare, ‘It is essenal that husbands and wives know the Things that are important to each other..” He then addressed the men, Bring your bike seat ‘Can you name and describe your for mods or gels to the wife’s favorite flower?’ Fort Erie Swap Meet I leaned over, touched my wife’s hand Ridgeway May 5th gently, Call for more info And whispered, ‘Robin Hood All-Purpose, isn’t it?’ And thus began my life of celibacy.......... God bless you for the beauful radio I won at your recent Senior Cizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the West Vancouver Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away so I am all alone.

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Man: Correct tears. Lady: Do you know that if you She asked if she could listen hadn’t drank, that money could to mine, and I was overjoyed have been put in an interest 164 Main Street, that I could tell her to fuck off. paying savings account and Lucan ON N0M 2J0 Thank you for that wonderful a er accoun ng for compound Pre-owned Harley Davidson opportunity. God bless you all. interest for the past 15 years, you Sincerely, SALES & SERVICE could have now bought a Ferrari? Edna “PUT SOMETHING Man: Do you drink? POWERFUL Lady: No Lady: Do you drink? Man: Where’s your Ferrari BETWEEN YOUR Man: Yes then? LEGS !!!” Lady: How much a day? 519-227-1581 Man: Three 6-packs 519-227-1331 Fax: Financing Available A woman had just returned Lady: How much per 6-pack? to her home from an evening of Man: About $10.00 church Lady: And how long have you services, when she was startled by an intruder. She been drinking? caught the man in the Man: 15 years act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: Lady: So a 6 pack cost $10.00 and you have three ‘Stop! Acts 2:38!’ 6-packs a day which puts your spending each month at (Repent and be Bapzed, in the name of Jesus $900. In one year, it would be $10,950 correct? Christ, so that your sins Man: Correct may be forgiven.) Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,950 not accounng for inflaon, the past 15 years puts your spending at The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly $204,250 correct? called the policeand explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: ‘Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.’ ‘Scripture?’ replied the burglar. ‘She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!’ Harley ! BSA ! Norton ! Triumph An American tourist in a small village he was vising in Newfoundland approached a local person and asked, “What’s the quickest way to Marystown?” 12 Carrying Place Road, Trenton, Ont. K8V 3E7 The local scratched his head. “Are ya walkin’ or drivin’?” he asked the stranger. (613) 392-8433 “I’m driving,” said the stranger. The local replied, “That’s the quickest way.”

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Dump the male flight aendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight aendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell-- they don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the ps, female flight aendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect ps would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and


Ladies and their Harley’s

It’s me for our first lady feature of the year and she is Sandy from Windsor and if she looks familiar to some of our long me readers it could be because we have formerly featured her sisters bike. It is also a Sportster although they are not too similar and that’s exactly how Sandy described it when she said that not long aer Silvia got her bike she decided that was something very cool and she went out in search of one for herself. She chose this 2007 XL in the late fall of 2006 at Rocky’s Harley-Davidson and had it delivered just before Christmas. It was her gi to herself but she says they would not put the bike inside the house next to the tree for her but rather le it out in the driveway but the excitement of the new ride quickly overcame the disappointment of not being under or at least next to the tree. Sandy says that first riding season in 2007 the only thing she changed from the stock bike was the seat saying that since she did most of her


riding alone the 2 up seat that came with the bike was not necessary. She changed that right away and that was the p of the iceberg when it came to changes on this bike which became an annual event for each year to follow right up unl we did this shoot about a year ago. When she bought the bike she said she went out purposely to buy something that was not the same as her sisters right away saying it had to be the same but different. Of course once she got the bike she got lots of advice on changing up the bike to make it her own, and of course she had her own thoughts on exactly where she wanted to get to with her ride as well. Sandy started to look at a lot of cosmec stuff that first riding season while riding with her gaggle of girlfriends around the local Windsor and southwestern Ontario area. She says she was averaging an impressive 7000 km’s per season and geng out and checking out

Ladies and their Harley’s

the other bikes belonging to her friends and heading out to some of the local events including cruise nights and poker runs gave her plenty of bikes to look at and see what sort of changes had been made and what she thought might look good on her sporty. Early on she changed the rear taillight and headlight and removing the factory signals from the bike opng for upgraded lighng with integral signals giving the bike that clean look that is so coveted amongst Harley riders. Sandy met a couple of guys who worked on Harleys on the side and found that the one guy did work that she was really happy with and for most of her future upgrades she would take her bike to the guy that she called her “Harley Tech” She did return to the local dealer on a couple of occasions first to have a set of special ordered Reinhart pipes installed as well as a set of forward controls, later on she took it back in to have a stage 1 upgrade to the engine and another set of pipes. Sandy had the unfortunate experience of her bike being rear ended, the good news was it was at the dealership, she was not riding the bike and if I understood the story correctly no one was riding but the bike was hit in the parking lot in the rear end inflicng $8000 worth of

damage. Of course she found this out when she went to pick the bike up from upgrades looking forward to a ride and having to leave her baby for all the repairs saying that they had to replace the back fender, rear wheel, re, swing arm, fuel tank and a few other parts that were damaged when the bike was hit. Sandy says that one of the things that she did in the second or third year was to replace the factory narrow glide front end with a custom wide glide front end. She had told her “Harley Tech” that she wanted to change her front end over to the wide glide look, he sent her off to someone he knew who had a set of triple trees, she selected a set of pullback drag bars, chrome tubes, and braided cables when it was finished all that was le of the factory front end was the mirrors and the controls. Her next ambion is to lower the bike, saying that the rear end was modified lower around the me of the accident but the plan for this past winter was for her Harley tech to put a race-tech kit in the front end of the

bike bringing it down to match up with the already lowered rear end of the bike. As for long rides Sandy says that the longest ride she has taken to date was taking her teenage son to Niagara Falls and she regularly rides to Port Dover for Friday the 13th at least for the warm weather events. She hopes to find some vacaon me from her job as a cabinet maker to take a ride to Sturgis with her friends someme before she reres. As for new bigger rides she says that the year aer she got her Sportster she saw a Soail Classic in Black Cherry and absolutely fell in love with the bike, when I asked her if she had regrets about the sporty aer having seen the soail she was adamant, absolutely not I love my sporty and never want to sell it saying that she would only give the bike to her son but would never sell it but she did say that she wasn’t waing on an upgrade before riding to Sturgis. Look for Sandy and her girlfriends riding the southwest every summer.


DANNI’S Welcome to the Motorcycle Community….This is a community that stands up for their rights.. Oshawa dropped the Heroes Highway Debt………. On April 08, 2013, The City of Oshawa was confronted by some members of the motorcycle community that demanded to know why this city had their legal department take a $5,600 debt to small claims court charging Lou Devino, organizer of the Heroes Highway Ride and Rally for costs of rode closures and garbage costs with his event two years ago. There were approximately 65 bikers present which, of course prompted strong undercover police presence. Born to ride- M.A.Kennedy I was born to ride. The Highway of Heroes Ride is a free ride…Lou Devino and his fantasc team work hard all season in a volunteer capacity to ensure the Ride is promoted. There is no hidden agenda; an o!en used quote by this team states their view, “there is no fee for patriosm”. The only ones who benefit are the Canadian Forces and no-one else. To ride in the event, no one is charged at all. There are places if anyone would like to donate money for the Tony Stacey Veterans Centre or Wounded and all monies collected are directed at these charies, because they provide front line care. Like a bird was born to fly This event was in honor of the Canadian Forces. The motorcycle community is stellar in giving support to our men and women who have gone to war. They


TIMES are role-models to the community; they infuse support from all, in their many fund raising events. If anyone ever aended these rides, they know the community stands on the bridges salung the bikers as they ride by, a scene that encourages all to stand proud and to make sure all the needs are being given to the Forces members who return home. Not to be forgotten the families who face the tragic loss of a family member who does not return alive…An Event such as this provides strength for grieving family members because no-one is forgoen. I need those chrome horses My heart feels fuller Now sing amongst the many supporters of Lou was Kerry Arnold whose husband, Cpl. Glen Arnold died in 2006. Kerry traveled from Trenton that night to be there in support. She stood and told the council it was totally disgraceful that they would aempt this charge. She told of the pride she felt while, herself, riding in the ride with large numbers from the community out along the route cheering support. Mrs. Arnold thanked Lou Devino for this ride and encouraged the many councilors to eliminate this debt. Also standing tall to speak was “Trapper Cane” who speaks so eloquently and from his soul. His speech mesmerized the Council and all in aendance and shared his knowledge, and experience. This City Council was being challenged for their grave error. This area of the city did benefit from this event .The motorcyclists spent money eang, shopping




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DANNI’S at the many different stores and all needed gas to ride out. If you calculate; over 8,000 motorcyclists … this was a profitable venture for the city. The adversing alone promong this event made other Event Planners think of Oshawa as the place to hold their event…It has many great large open venues. It should have been a win, win situaon here. My soul feels freer The City was well aware of this Ride being held here. They had been asked to partner with The Heroes Highway Ride and provide services. The City of Oshawa’s, Community Services endorsed the event and placed the grant to the budget process. But it turns out, the City Councilors actually voted against it and sent off a leer to Lou only giving two months warning. That did not give Lou and his team me tomake alternate plans and made the decision to go through with it as adversing was already done and much was already in place and in their mind, there was no backing out now.. Lou himself is sll out $ 11,000.00 that he had to spend from his own pocket. I was born to ride The Mayor of Oshawa, told of many threats the City Councilors had received over the phones and plenty of nasty emails. Mayor Henry allowed Councilor Chapman to make a moon that lead to the unanimous decision by a vote of 10 -0 vote, to really save face and the charge of $ 5600 dollars was forgiven. Lou Devino was extremely happy about the and had told us all he was not going to pay this, and he was going to stand his ground, he kept his word and it paid off. His objecve is plain and simple, to spread the word…to have this ride go all across Canada. Just one moment here…there is sll another charge he is going to fight. Lou received another bill

TIMES for the amount of $ 3,600 from Durham Region. This amount is for barricades and signs. He will be challenging this also. So I guess City Council can expect another visit from Lou and his supporters. Lou Devino is an amazing individual who stands tall for what he believes. His next step should be getng elected to sit on Council. Many of us have offered whatever support he needs as it is about me we get an elected member from our community. Being a motorcycle rider you encounter the many issues the public encounter and know of the amounts of money that is raised for charies so that research is funded or that support systems are able to keep their doors open, me for a change. Lou get in there! Where would Charies be without the motorcycle community? Lou Devino and your stellar team…I salute you. The endless hours you all work to promote this ride, I personally love those great smiles you show us at all the Shows. You all have become a very important part of our families. The enthusiasm is very catching. ‘Cause that’s the way I’m gonna spend my life To add info about the Heroes Highway Ride for 2013, it leaves Whitby and also Kingston on June 1st heading for Centennial Park in Trenton where the rally is being held this year. It’s a great ride! Born to ride. Now own our Miss Mary Dube, is having a concert on May Zephyr, Ontario…The evening will show local talent up singing to help get a really important message out to all. Mary calls this concert, Flag of Love Concert, It’s a gentle message of reminding yourself to exercise your human right to love, cherish, and forgive one another. Take this day and do something nice for someone. “Random Acts of Kindness” around the globe is encouraged on this special day. Join us in Zephyr, Ontario at the Zephyr Community Centre, 310 Zephyr Rd. Cost is 10.00 with all monies going to Uxbridge/Scugog Animal Shelter. I was born to ride Like a bird was born to fly Its riding me and hope to see you on the road… Ride safe Danni




It’s been a busy and memorable month down here in South-western Ontario. The weather is starng to parcipate at some outside events and I am seeing more and more bikes out for that aernoon jaunt. MY I’m sure we all agree that Mother Nature has been a miserable bitch this year. I a!ended a Fish Fry at the Queensmen MC farm Lenn Curtis on Good Friday and they were serving up some nice 519.919.5535 local pickerel dinners. Cooking and preparing the feast 3143 Walker Rd., Windsor was taken on by Bill and Gonzo and they did one hell 9500 Walker Rd., McGregor of a fine job, The meal came complete with oponal side dishes (chicken was also avail for those not fussy DEALER FOR: HANNIGAN r MOTOR TRIKE r LEHMAN on fish), and even an array of deserts were served. The weather parcipated on this day and lots of folks est Harleys. Boy there are some nice models this year! opted to hang out by the bonfire to absorb some heat Don’t hesitate to check out their Demo-Rides this and share a few laughs. spring. John was also telling me about their WednesThe guys enjoy the company and are always ready day night Mystery Rides. All you have to do is show up to get involved in a charity run or event and they (with a full tank of gas please) before the 6 pm depardonate frequently to the Moose Lodge and the Down- ture me. They begin the evening with a zig-zag ride town Mission, to name a few. The menu changes up through Essex County and have a stop prearranged at over the summer with more B-B-Qs and such, and a a selected secret locaon each week. The restaurants good me can always be had. they choose are always biker friendly and tradionally Congrats goes out to the guys from Phantom have extra staff on hand to sasfy the added crowd. All Thunder M.C. on your new digs and your new threads. are welcome to partake in this weekly oung. These guys have been busy ge#ng their new house Thunder Road HD currently has a new shop bein order and have been enjoying their own home for ing built and pictures of the construcon are on their a few months now. They also did a patch upgrade and website with a grand-opening of the new digs coming are now supporng a 3-piece patch. Congrats Brothers. soon. I’m be#ng we can expect a good party for that I a!ended the Windsor Home and Leisure Show where there was all sorts of home and garden displays, as well as RVs Boats and yes... Motorcycles. It was the first year of this conjoined event and was in a much larger venue than ever before. Rummaging through the show and looking for “can’t refuse” deals and such I ran into Nash from Leather King and his booth had all sorts of leathers jackets, boots, chaps, etc. on sale and at the always welcoming reduced show prices. There were many people patronizing his display and ge#ng their needed riding gear for this year’s season. Nash has been an avid supporter of The Mag from day one and he contributes willingly to numerous local charies. John from Thunder Road Davidson/Buell was there with a 4728 Egremont Dr. Strathroy, ON ( 15 min. west of London ) slew of the motor-company’s new-

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RIDING THE one. More news will be forwarded as I hear and I will let you know the dates as soon as they are confirmed. Another worthy a!endee was Tilbury Auto Sales and Yamaha Dealer. Lindsey had a wide assortment of Trailers there and I especially liked the one TOY HAULER they had. This rig slept 4 to 6 people easy, had a kitchen and des"ned space for 2 large motorcycles. Wow... what a thing of beauty! Also displayed was a great selec"on of Yamaha cruisers, dirt and trail bikes. They are located on Highway 2 in the Tilbury Auto Mall and the staff is willing and able to help set you up with your new Toy Hauler or Motorcycle with condi"ons that are easy on the wallet. Stop by and say hi and check out the offerings at Tilbury Auto Sales. There were a couple other must a!end par"es down this way and I had to get the info from my Brothers as I was not feeling well enough to a!end and did not want to inflict others with my miserableness! :-) This year’s Horsemen MC Fish Fry went off without


SOUTHWEST a hitch. There they served up a hundred pounds of some fine local perch diners and as I understand there was standing room only. The weather was not the greatest for the day and many folks opted to drive instead of ride (good decision). The grounds around the house were saturated and trying to park a motorcycle would be a challenge without it "pping over. Their next event is their Poker Run scheduled for the long weekend in May (May 17th), something you should try to a!end. These fellas always make you feel welcome. See you there! The Red Devils MC also had a Spring Fling bash the same night .They too had a house full and you could hang around the bonfire. I understand everybody had a great "me, as expected! Their next event is their Show and Shine in June. If you never been to a RD event, this is a highly a!ended ou"ng and draws folks from all over Ontario. Last year the street was lined with bikes on both sides of the road and when I arrived we had to park down past the corner, which was okay because I was able to view a wide assortment of customized and unique rides. Well we made it through the long winter here and the weather is ge&ng be!er; SPRING IS HERE, well hopefully......but we all know what that means: Yes ge&ng the bikes out of storage, re-installing the ba!ery, (you did have it on a tender didn’t you ?)..Okay maybe purchase a new ba!ery, change the oils, check "re pressure, brakes, etc., if you cannot do these jobs yourself you be!er be calling your local shop to get your appointment scheduled. DON’T KNOW WHO TO CALL ??? Well there are plenty of our adver"sers willing and ready to take on the task. If it’s needed service or a much sought a'er piece of chrome, just look through The Rider’s Mag and find a shop in your area and give them a call. Also, when patronizing a supporting shop for something you have seen in The Riders Mag let them know where you saw the add so they know their adver"sing campaign is working. UNTIL NEXT TIME GUARDRAIL, Q.M.C. THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 55

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The Rider's Mag May 2013-05v15-03  

The Riders Mag May 2013

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