THE RIDERâ€™S MAG The Magazine for Riders
MARCH 2015 Volume 17 - #1
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16th Anniversary Issue
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Table of Contents
www.hipscycle.ca 900 Colborne St. East 519-756-6218 Brantford, Ontario
Pg. 4 - What’s Skakin’ Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm Sat. 9am - 1pm The Events Keep on Coming. Pg. 7 - Cruising with Critter The Boss Sure can get Around Pg. 13 - HAMC Florence Arizona Prison Run 2015 Hank’s Still Riding in January, Where? Arizona! Pg. 15 - Hip’s 27th Annual Open House Throwin’ a Bash Like Only Hip’s Can. Pg. 18 - Fighting For Your Rights Rooster Finally Gets his Dream Ride Pg. 20 - On The Road JR Got to Dover, But Where’s Senior? Since 1988 Pg. 22 - Joke Page They Just Keep Comin’ Pg. 24 - February Calendar and all thats going on. With Biker TV Heather Pg. 26 - Shop/Builder Of The Month M.T.O. INSPECTION STATION PD Restorations in London Pg. 28 - Shenanigans with Sherri O’Irish Assume The Position. PARTS AVAILABLE FROM ALL SUPPLIERS Pg. 29 - The Wild One: The Birth of the One Percenter Donny Petersen Tell the Real Story. Pg. 31 - From the far East………Ontario that is. Beau Meets and Greets at The Ottawa Show. ALL LICENSED MECHANICS Pg. 36 - Sticker Stories Sharon goes to Dover for the 3 Day Weekend Pg. 38 - Biker Church Is Heaven and Hell Real Pastor Dave? Pg. 40 - Feature Bike “Retiring Shovel” 164 Main Street, Pg. 42 - Whispers of a Neoteric Nomad That Northern Guy, Tries to stay Warm indoors Lucan ON N0M 2J0 Pre-Owned Harley Davidson Sales & Service
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Publisher / Editor : Rick Davis
Publisher Emeritus: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor Emeritus: J.B. Ballantine
THIS YEAR’S DATE HAS BEEN SET MARK YOUR CALENDAR
Managing Editor: ACE Wolske Creative Content Manager: Peppermint Patty Office Manager: Diane Davis
Advertizing and Sales Eastern Ont./Western Que. Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 Southern Ontario Rep: J.R. MacRae 905-631-5890 Southwestern Ontario Rep: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 Contributing Writers Pastor Dave Neals, Danni, Scary Larry, Manon Kellman, Beau Rooney, Jonathan Musson, Al Marentette, Rossaire, Tim Armstrong, Donny Petersen, Bob Laidlaw, Sherri O’Irish, Al Kasza, Dangerous Donnie, Bad Bob, Aaron Hesmer, Sharon Nicolson Contruibuting Cartoonists Critter, Michael MacDonald
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Critter’s Crew Cards
hogtowncycles.ca THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 3
Every Tuesday Starting March 31st Tombstones Motorcycles is hosting a Bike Night at Tom & Jerry’s 10593 Yonge Street in Richmond Hill. Let’s hope the weather is with us for this one.
Mar. 21st- Thursty’s Wounded Warriors Winter Bash
The Gayety Theatre, 161 Huronontario Street, Collingwood. Danny “Count” Koker & Count’s 77 Band with The Carpet Frogs 7pm Tickets $60 available at Thrusty’s or www.ticketbreak.com or call 1-866-943-8849
Mar. 28th- Jacox Harley-Davidson Lunch & Learn-Infotainment Systems
Mar. 1 - Alvinston Motorcycle Swap Meet st
Complimentary Lunch & Learn – Infotainment Systems. For More Info or to Register, please contact Julie Martin, Jacox Harley-Davidson Marketing & Promotions Coordinator at email@example.com or at 905-858-6763.
Alvinston Community Centre Complex, 10am-3pm, $5 Admission, Kids under 12 Free
Mar. 13th- Friday the 13th Dover Part II Port Dover
Mar.28th- New Moon Tattoo Fundraiser for Ride for Dad Ottawa
Mar. 13th- Jacox H-D Friday 13th Sale
March 2015 In-Store Specials at Jacox HarleyDavidson 2815 Argentia Road, Mississauga
At Both Locations in Ottawa and Orleans, See their ad on page 33 for Contact Details.
Mar. 14th- Clare’s 60th Anniversary Celebration Open House
Mar 31st- Tombstones Motorcycles 1st Tues Bike Night
Come on out and help us Celebrate 60 Years of Motorcycles at both Fenwick and Niagara on the Lake for more details check out www.clarescycle.com
Mar. 21st-22nd- 25th Annual Motorcycle Spring Show
International Centre Toronto, Saturday 10am-9pm, Sunday 10am-5pm, More info at
At Tom & Jerry’s Bistro, 10593 Yonge Street in Richmond Hill, See their facebook page for more details at facebook.com/tombstonesmotorcycles
Apr. 8th- Jacox H-D Garage Party
2815 Argentia Road, Mississauga. From 6:30-8:30. For more Information please contact Julie Martin, Jacox Harley-Davidson Marketing & Promotions Coordinator at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 905-858-6763.
& Zuber Company LITIGATION
David A. Zuber, LL.B.
Certified as a Specialist in Civil Litigation
Free Consultation Personal Injury Disability Claims Medical Malpractice Tel: 416.362.5005 Fax: 416.362.5289 THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 4
Email: email@example.com Website: www.zubco.com
May 23rd- Flat Track Canada’s Burford Race Day
May 2 - Capital City Biker’s Church Swap Meet nd
Burford Fairgrounds 6 Park Aveune, Burford. Gates open at 10am Opening Ceremonies at 4pm More Info: www.ﬂattrackcanada.com
155 Carillion St., Ottawa. Admission $2, Vendor spaces free but sign up early as they are going fast.
May 3rd- Fort Erie Motorcycle Swap Meet
June 7th- 7th Annual National Memorial Ride
West End Arena, Ridge Road, Fort Erie. 10am-4pm For more info: Contact Sean 289-686-6797 or 905-246-1282 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Canadian Aviation and Space Museum, 11 Aviation Pkwy., Ottawa. Rendezvous at 1300hours (1pm) Join us for the ride to Remember our fallen and wounded. We Welcome all Veterans and Supporters.
May 13th- Jacox H-D Boot Camp
2815 Argentia Road, Mississauga. From 6:30-8:30. For more Information please contact Julie Martin, Jacox Harley-Davidson Marketing & Promotions Coordinator at email@example.com or call 905-858-6763.
May 16 - Flat Track Canada’s “Kick Oﬀ 2015” Racing
June 21st- 5th Annual Bobcaygeon Bike Fest
At The Paris Raceway Half Mile Track, Gates Open at 10am Opening Ceremonies at 4pm More Info: www.ﬂattrackcanada.com
May 23rd- 3rd Annual Ride 2 Reach Charity Ride
For More Contact Cass at Motorcycle Enhancements 1-888-842-2123
Downtown Bobcaygeon, 9am-5pm Family Event, For more info Call Doug 705-793-1751 or www.BikeFestOntario.com
July 11th- Hogtown Cycles “Baconfest”
Lucan, Ontario. Everything Bacon and Bikes, All day event More info at www.hogtowncycles.ca
Proudly Presents COLLINGWOOD, ON 705-443-8751
Saturday March 21st - 7:00 pm at The Gayety Theatre Collingwood Danny “Count” Koker, Kevin Mack & Count’s 77 Band with special guests The Carpet Frogs Proceeds to Wounded Warriors Canada Tickets -$60 per person Available at Thurst-T’s Cycle & The Gayety Theatre Online @ www.ticketbreak.com or by phone 1-866-943-8849 THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 5
THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 6
Cruising With Critter Well we made it through another year which brings up to our 16th Anniversary issue of the Mag and my 2nd year at the helm of The Good Ship Riders Mag. We have changed things up a bit in those two years and this month you will note some more changes particularly in the cover this month as we are growing up and expanding the areas that we cover and give coverage to. We have added to our crew of contributing writers to encompass more ground and give you, our readers a wider range of events and the areas in which these events occur. We now have Guy covering the Northern part of the Province with him being based in Sudbury and the availability of the Mag in the North will increase dramatically as will the coverage of Northern events. We are also answering calls for representation in other Provinces such as New Brunswick and Nova Scotia and have people ready to provide it and provide pages to encompass these areas. We are not looking to produce a regional magazine as there isn’t enough of an advertising base to support it but we are thinking there is enough to support some pages in the existing Mag.
The Riders Mag is a World traveler.
We have long had several subscribers from the USA and United Kingdom and I know that the Mag gets plenty of distribution throughout the US by truck drivers and such and I know it gets mailed by friends to New Zealand and Australia as well. With our new and improved Online Version at theridersmag.com we know we are being read in many different Countries in different parts of the World. Our stats tell us that. So we are now mak-
ing conscious efforts to expand our content. Our South Western rep who we know and love as Guardrail, has sadly taken leave of his duties with the Mag due to health concerns lately but that still doesn’t stop him from taking the Mag with him wherever he travels and sends us back pictures from his far flung destinations. Take care Bob and thanks for all you’ve done for us.
Shawn McCooey’s Adventures in Cuba
Shawn McCooey for those of you who haven’t met him, is the man behind the Fort Erie Swap Meet and is the Ultimate promoter as well as a strong supporter of The Riders Mag. He doesn’t let the fact that he is on vacation in another Country like Cuba interfere with his need to publicize his fantastic annual event on May 3rd or having a great time doing it. He even takes The Riders Mag along with him and we get to share in his notoriety and high jinks. Lee another new addition to our crew, doing advertising sales is now on vacation in New Zealand and Australia and has taken the
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416-804-2292 firstname.lastname@example.org THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 7
Cruising With Critter while trying to multi task by carrying a box of magazine subscriptions to be mailed out to the truck, doing my best to keep the Wonderdogs behind the gate with one foot, while kicking the blue boxes along with the other and trying to close the gate with my knee. The result was me falling hard partially on the blue boxes but mostly on the icy ground (No I didn’t have the ice melter down yet, nor had I properly shovelled WE CAN KEEP YOU the walkway! That was next on my list of things to do! Yes I know I should have reconsidered the order that RIDING ALL YEAR things were done! Christ! You people are starting to ROUND! sound a lot like Godzilla!) falling solidly on my right COMMING TO FRI.13TH? hip with the heavy box of magazine subscriptions falling on my new knee and thigh and thereby scattering STOP IN AND SAY HI envelopes along with the contents of the blue boxes all over in what is my version of 52 pick-up as we do CUSTOM WORKS have a lot of subscriptions while the dogs, while looking really concerned, stayed on their side of the gate, 7 MAIN STREET EAST SELKIRK ONT. N0A 1P0 not sure if my cursing was directed at them. My hat was sent flying out onto the lawn. I picked myself up opportunity to promote the online version of the gathered all the Mags and retrieved my hat and limped back Mag down there, as the to the house. This was not a good start to the day and while I motorcycle tourism is huge got all my deliveries done I was in sad shape by the time I got and the Countries are gor- home and for days to come. It has been weeks now and the geous! She has also been last remnants of the bruising is fading and my shoulder still sending back pictures from aches from time to time just to remind me of the incident, so there with the Riders Mag go ahead, ask me what I think of winter! The Trike is coming along and we managed to get some prevalent in all of them. Hankster from Boothill more stuff done to her. We will not have it all completed in Hearse has provided us time for The Spring Motorcycle Show but we and she will be with a write-up of his ad- there! I’m looking forward to it as Peter Derry has told me ventures down in Arizona that there are some changes in the works to make the Show where he gets to winter even better. See you there March 21 and 22 at The Internaand this month covers the Hells Angels Annual Prison Run tional Centre. that we hope the readers will find interesting. There are lots of motorcycle tours available and tons of events happening Dix Davies - June 1936 – Feb. 2015 down there where it is warm and sunny and we hope that – R.I.P. Hank can provide some insight into how our readers can join I was saddened to hear of the passing of Dix in the fun and get away from the frozen north for a break. Davies one of the founding members of ABATE
PARTS, ACCESSORIES, AND INSTALLATION
WE’VE GOT QUAD AND ATV PARTS
But for those of us, like me, who are, too busy or too poor to get away to the sun so we just grin and bear it and count the days until spring. I’ve never, ever been a fan of winter and feel that the only good place for ice is in a glass of rum but this has been one brutal, bitchy winter and I can’t wait to see the end of it! Tons of snow and cold as a whore’s heart! I hate walking in it, driving in it or even acknowledging it.
It doesn’t help when you have a tendency to be clumsy and fall and I’d taken a nasty fall early one Friday morning
THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 8
Ontario. In lieu of a funeral there will be a Celebration of Life on June 6/15 at 12:00 Noon at The Final Frontier property with a Ride following the Celebration ending up in Clinton at Perth County’s Chilli Festival. Dix would have been 80 on Monday June 8/15 two days after the Celebration.
He will be sorely missed! G.B.N.F.
Hip’s 27th Annual Customer Appreciation Day & Open House
It was a better day weather-wise than what I drove through last year to get to what has become a must attend event for me. It was still colder than a witch’s tit but the warm hospitality that I knew would be waiting in Brantford is well worth the drive and The Black Bitch has a good heater. The ever effervescent Sherry O’Irish was coming along this year as I wanted a fresh perspective on this Annual event and want her to spread her wings a bit and to introduce her around. Burlington Bad Bob was also coming along again just because I enjoy his company. As usual the place was packed and they had sales on everything and I even managed to do some shopping and picked up a few trinkets and bling for the lovely Petoonia
Cruising With Critter who has been feeling neglected lately since I’ve been paying a lot of attention to Black Bitch 3. I handed off my camera to Sherri and spent my time just socializing and grazing on all the tremendous food that has become synonymous with this event and just hung around checking out this really great store and all the people who work and get work done here. I even ran into Tom Mann the Producer/Host/Camera man/ Sound man/grip/Travel and accommodations arranger/Driver/Editor in Chief and All around Good guy as well as being the guy who makes all the major and minor decisions and who sweeps out the place and signs cheques at Biker TV along with his ever lovely “Heavenly Heather Ireland” while they were doing a feature for their TV show. They are always a pleasure to talk to although Heather is always better to look at! I had commented on how great Heather always looks and her reply was, ”You ought to see me 1st thing in the morning.” My response was that I have seen her 1st thing in the morning as I lay in wait for her outside her tent at an ABATE event several years ago first thing in the morning. Camera on and focused on the front of the tent and waited patiently for “The Road Queen” to emerge from within with no make-
up and in all her early morning splendor after a late night that involved heavy partying into the cruel light of day. I was crushed by the fact that she looks radiant all the time folks! What a fucking disappointment! I still talk to her anyways! In fact check out the Calendar feature this month. Hippy was his usual cheerful self and made his way around meeting and greeting the multitude of friends that he has made over the years. I say friends rather than customers because while they may start out as customers, they soon become more than that as the relationship develops and they are introduced to and immersed in “the Hips” experience. All these people don’t come back year after year and drive for miles just for the food! They come because they feel welcome and appreciated! This may be Hip’s way to express his appreciation of his customers but it is also his customers way of expressing their appreciation for Hip’s and his great crew who have made them feel welcome for all these years! Over to you Sherri O’Irish.
The Brothers of the Blade Throttle Itch - 2015
I made it out to the Throttle Itch Party hosted by the Brothers of the Blade Motorcycle Club as it is a party that I’ve always enjoyed partially because it is all for a good cause, as it is a fund raiser for the Wish Foundation that provides much needed support for group homes in the area and par-
THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 9
Cruising With Critter
tially because it is always a great time with friends from all over in attendance. Downsized from what it used to be but still really well attended and what may be missing in volume is more than
y r a s r e v i n 5th An
Sunday June 2
MUSIC FOOD VENDORS CAMPING & LODGING PEOPLE’S CHOICE SHOW & SHINE
FAMILY EVENT 9am - 5pm
in The New Tradition yg d Ontario’s Summer Pla roun For More Information or Vendor Space
Call Doug at: 705-793-1751
THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 10
made up for in heart. They had some of their Southern Brothers up for the event. Members from The Brothers of the Wheel up from West Virginia, Tennessee and Ohio extended their visit and managed to get in some ice fishing with Dusty and Swanny getting them out on Lake Simcoe in a vintage 1956 Bombardier snow machine owned by Heyinks Fish huts and souped up with a lumpy cam. The place was packed and the buffet table was full to overflowing with really great food that just seemed to keep on coming! If you went away hungry it was your fault. My plate was heaped right full and I hadn’t even got to the end of the buffet to where the turkey was and there were plenty of other dishes that caught my eye but I was unable to get back for more as my stomach could not have taken another morsel without bursting! I’m sorry that I missed the Paradice Riders MC Valentine’s Day Party but had to go out of town, but thanks for the invitation. I hear that it was a great night with great turnout despite the crappy weather and that Laura Lee and the Tequila Rockingbirds once again did a fantastic job.
Ottawa Motorcycle Show.
I made my way to our Nation’s Capital through some of the worst weather imaginable to spend the day (Actually just the afternoon as it took so long to get there due to the shitty weather.) with our Eastern Ontario rep; Beau and his tremendous crew from the Celtic Brotherhood who he affectionately calls the Paper Boyz. They do a great job and are one cheery bunch. Beau has a great set up for The Riders Mag booth. He has told me about it but I wanted to check it out for myself and will implement some of the features in the displays that I do at the shows in this area. It is not a huge show but it is a good show with a warm friendly atmosphere with its own distinct character and the venue itself is very nice and it should grow as it is getting good support although I think the shitty weather did have an adverse effect on attendance and this part of the Province gets more than its fair share of shitty weather. I took advantage of the time to visit with Beau and bounce ideas back and forth before wandering around taking in the show seeing many familiar faces. Matt from Lucas Oil and the crew he came into town with were involved
Cruising With Critter in an accident the previous night after setting up the displays that saw the truck that they were driving totalled but fortunately all coming out unscathed except for a minor abrasion on Matts hand. Like I said, it was shitty weather! There were some awesome bikes on display and some very unique vendors and great displays and there was a lot to see. There was a constant line up for two of the actors from The Sons of Anarchy Television Show who were signing autographs and posing for pictures in one corner of the room. I made my way back to the booth and then took my leave electing to allow extra time for my trip home’ Still more shitty weather is what I drove through again that evening to get back home but I got it done and I was glad that I went. Thanks for the hospitality Beau and company.
A number of years ago as I was searching for parts of some kind for Petoonia and was out that way driving truck and when I called my buddy Steve Force ( who is now our London area rep) and asked where I might find them. He recommended PD Restoration and as I was delivering just down the street from the store I swung by to check it out.
That’s when I first met Phil and his lovely daughter Krystle and they were really helpful and knowledgeable. They were also familiar with the Riders Mag and I put them the list to distribute them out of their great store.
They decided to do the calendar feature for this month and we set up the date which again gave me short notice to get a model but I had some choices and had started making calls but when I called Steve to tell him I was doing the shoot and was trying to get a model he suggested Heather as she is a local girl and there was no disputing her great looks. I wasn’t sure that she would want to do the shoot due to her involvement with Biker TV but Steve said he would check. By early this next morning the questions of time, date and who would be at PD Restoration for the Calendar shoot were answered. I was good to go, until the day before that is. That’s when Mother Nature decided to dump huge quantities of snow along with high winds and record low temperature on Ontario and my plans. Heather, you see, isn’t just a pretty face. She operates a tow truck and bad weather and the demand for tow trucks go hand in hand and her ability to be there was now questionable. I didn’t have much choice but to go and just hope for the
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Cruising With Critter
a terrorist plot and are being orchestrated in an attempt to drive us all stark raving mad! It was certainly not promising for anyone expecting to get attention from a tow truck driver best. A stop at one of the local strip clubs for a recruitment unless you were in a ditch, but I pressed on. drive might have been in the cards but I would hope that It cleared up substantially as I neared London and while things would work out with Heather. still cold and windy it looked good. I stopped for breakfast So I left for London early with the wind howling as it and received an e mail from Heather saying that although swirled large quantities of fresh snow up in front of the Black she had been up all night pulling stranded vehicles from the Bitch as I put it in 4 wheel drive and bulled my way out of ditches it was a go. the driveway and through the huge drift that the snow plows I headed right over to PD Restoration and went in to talk had deposited at the end of it as if that would deter me and to them and get set up for the shoot, as we waited for Heathheaded west along Hwy. 9. Wanting to avoid at all costs er to arrive. My choice of model was well received as both swinging down anywhere near the top of Toronto and Mis- Heather and her mother are regular customers of the shop. sissauga (The Nightmare Zone) that will come to a standstill We didn’t wait for long as the large Silverbird Towing truck at the very hint of snow, rain or any condition that is less pulled onto the lot, parked out front and Heather clad in a than perfect weather. Hell, I’ve seen traffic get snarled up in snowmobile suit wool hat, and massive big boots emerged perfect weather conditions for absolutely no reason whatso- from within, along with her faithful sidekick, Squeeze (A ever. I’ve come to believe that these traffic nightmares are beautiful German Shepherd) and stomped on in to the shop. Even that bulky cold weather working outfit could not diminish her natural beauty. Hey I’m not sucking up here! I just call them like I see them. I’ve included pictures of her 1-800-310-1389 in her working gear and you decide if she 2822 HOWARD AVE. VE. WINDSOR, ON looks good or not. RIDING GEAR SUPERSTORE Anyhow like Clark Kent jumping into the Motorcycle Jackets, Pants, phone booth and emerging as Superman, so it was as the “Ditch Witch” (Her own deGloves, Helmets, Rain Suits scription!) clomped her way into the washroom and emerged as the elegant and radiant “Road Queen” resplendent in her Biker TV garb high heeled boots, tight fitting jeans and a smile that lit up the room! The shoot went well and even Squeeze tried her best to squeeze herself into every JOE ROCKET TOUR MASTER shot not wanting to venture very far away from Heather. Phil and company run a great friendly shop here in London’s west end and BOULET SPEED & STRENGTH Phil has stories to go with everything and I could talk to him for hours as he is BATES SOA SHOEI truly an interesting guy. Krystle is also a treat to talk to and from what I saw runs a tight ship. FLY WESTERN TEKNIC The store is crammed with all kinds of stuff from neat t shirts and memoraRACING WEAR GEAR bilia and walls chock full of accessories TALISMAN MOTORCYCLE LUGGAGE and shiny stuff that I purposely avoided SADDLE BAGS RIDING BOOTS looking too closely at WINDSHIELD POUCHES VESTS so as to stay on budget. It was a good CHAPS GLASSES TANK BAGS day spent with some HOODIES T-SHIRTS GOGGLES real nice folks. If you’re in the PATCHES STICKERS BIKER PINS London area, stop in Come in and Visit us or and check them out.
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THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 12
HAMC Florence Arizona Prison Run 2015 As most people know we spend the winter in Arizona. For the last 3 years we have attended the Florence Prison Run that is held on the second Sunday in February. Critter asked me if I could write an article about this for the Rider’s Mag. I am certainly not the roving reporter that he is or some of the other folks that write for the mag but I have done the best I can. On Sunday we were up at 7 a.m., which by the way is way too early when you are on holidays, and on the comfy Road Glide by 8:30 a.m., cause the wife didn’t want to miss this event. Sixty degrees and plenty of sunshine accompanied us on the road towards Tucson, up to State Route 77 North where we stopped for breakfast after about 45 minutes of riding. Back on the bike after fueling the bike and riders. It’s now 10 a.m. and already 70 degrees out. We head north on 77 towards the 79 cut-off to Florence. From here it’s about 42 miles to the Florence Rodeo Grounds where everyone gathers for the event. It’s a beautiful stretch of 2 lane road right the desert landscape and extremely quiet as most roads are in Arizona. We started to see the flashing lights after about 40 minutes of riding as the cops block all the roads going into Florence when the actual ride starts at 2 p.m. sharp.
by The Hankster
Francisco (about 9 hours of hard riding). By 12:30 p.m. the crowd had grown to about 1500 people, and still more bikers were pulling in. By this time the helicopter was in the air, circling the grounds and taking pictures (the government at work). The temperature was now about 85 and it was hot. The band announced at 1:30 p.m. that we had about 15 minutes to begin forming the line-up. I have been on many poker runs in my time, but this is by far the most organized run I have ever been on. You don’t
We arrived safely around 11 a.m. and there were approximately 300 bikes. The entry fee is $20.00 per person and after coming into the grounds, shaking some hands and hugs from some of the people we have gotten to know over the years, we were off to the beer tent for some well-deserved refreshments. It was warming up even more. We strolled around the grounds while listening to an amazing band, and noted that there were more vendors this year. We went back towards the gate to see all the people riding in. Some of the clubs come from quite a distance, some as far away as San
THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 13
HAMC Florence Arizona Prison Run 2015
by The Hankster
just join the line-up haphazardly, they have guys from various clubs Owner Frank Pastor Jr. directing everybody Horticulturalist Class III U of T where they want to Over 35 Yrs. Experience hook in to the pack. At Hydroponic Growing & Lighting Systems 2 p.m. sharp everybody for Vegetables & Flowers is starting to move and off we go. Now you want to Store Hours hear between 1500 Mon. - Fri.: 11:00 - 6:00 Saturday : 11:00 - 3:00 and 2000 motorcycles Closed Sunday pulling away. It’s like our phrase “Shake the ground one more time”. This year we E-mail : email@example.com went about 2-1/2 miles Tel. (905) 333 3282 480 Guelph Line on the main road and Fax (905) 639 9190 Burlington, Ontario Toll Free 1 800 668 0980 Canada L7R 3M1 then the whole pack stopped. We later found out that because of the amount of bikes this year, they made sure that everybody had left the Rodeo grounds and were all together in one tight line. Off we went again about one more mile into town. People are lining the streets waving and flying American flags. Of course law enforcement is on every corner including State Troopers, ATF and Swat in full gear, protecting the public. I’m not sure from what. I did talk to one of the members last year and he stated that there used to be way more law enforcement years ago, but it worked against them, when the public started cheering and waving flags as the ride went by and then more and more people have started to attend every year. It’s like being in a parade. A little bit of history... This was the 32nd year of the run which was started by the Tucson chapter of the Dirty Dozen at the time until Sonny Barger moved to Arizona, and all chapters became HAMC. Anyway, when we ride to about the middle of town and turn right towards the prison. All the prisoners are dressed in the orange coverCUSTOM MOTORCYCLES alls and standing at the fence waving and cheering as we all go by. It BUILDER PARTS AND ACCESSORIES makes you think for a minute how good it is to be on the other side of the fence riding your motorcycle, in a t-shirt, on a gorgeous day in FRAMES HARDTAIL the middle of February. There are 3 or 4 prisons on this row and as we to the end of the road we turn around and start back the way we FOR ALL MAKES CONVERSIONS come came. This is the time you realize how big this event really is because FOR: BSA SPRINGER now there are bikes on both sides of the road, coming and going, and YAMAHA XS 650 not at a slow pace I might add. FRONT ENDS TRIUMPHS One last wave to the prisoners and the public and back to the roWIDE OR NARROW HARLEY’S deo grounds where everybody is packing up. We kept on going back to CUSTOM SEATS CUSTOM SISSY BARS Tucson. Stopped for some great wings and a couple of beers. I forgot CUSTOM EXHAUST PIPES CUSTOM PAINT to mention that I noticed a lot of people the event were wearing handCUSTOM BATTERY BOXES CUSTOM OIL TANKS guns on their hips out in the open. This is very normal around here CUSTOM HANDLEBARS CUSTOM SHEETMETAL because Arizona is a right to carry State. God Bless America! All in all a great day. Hats off to HAMC Tucson for a great and well YOU WANT CUSTOM CALL ME! organized event. If you’re ever in AriPACE LAW FIRM zona in February, be sure to pencil Ray Bonner 4307 BURNHAM ST. N., COBOURG, ONT. this event in on 647.505.0059 www.martinscustommotorcycles.com your calendar. A terrific experience. Serious Injury Lawyers firstname.lastname@example.org Hankster
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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 14
Hip’s Annual Open House 2015
by Sherri O’Irish
A HIP HAPPENING KINDA PLACE Brantford was the place to be in late January, for the Hip’s Cycle Annual Open House, and when Critter invited me to ride down with him and Bad Bob, I leaped at the chance to be around bikes and people who like myself, can’t wait for spring. I had a sneaking suspicion that an ulterior motive was afoot, but I didn’t mind, and with the camera slung from my neck, and pen and paper in hand, Critter passed the proverbial article torch off to me. I’ve been to Hip’s before (my old neck of the woods), but never to their Open House, and the legendary smorgasbord of food including meatballs and pulled pork, is a big draw all its’ own, but the bikes, service and atmosphere are what people really come for.
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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 15
Hip’s Annual Open House 2015
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email@example.com / www.authenticltd.com After opening the shop in 1988, Jim Hipkin has serviced, built, modified and painted a name for himself. With the help of his son Jon and step-grandson Corey, all of which are certified motorcycle mechanics, their love of bikes propels their business and customer base year after year. The Open House is just one way that they can show appreciation to their customers, and invite others to have a look at what they do. There were many ongoing builds, repairs and completions to look over, as well as the social aspect of the customers, friends and people in general, just trying to shake a bit of the winter blues away. As I wandered the shop, it was hard not to notice all the memorabilia lining the walls and halls, including pictures, posters, autographs, souvenirs and even a 2003 issue of The Riders Mag. A collection recording a lifetime of work and play, which goes as far as having a life sized replica of the Harley Davidson factory shed, that was built on the premises, using as much period materials as they could find. Unbeknownst to me, Jim and I have something in com-
THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 16
by Sherri O’Irish
Hip’s Annual Open House 2015
by Sherri O’Irish
A M SALES family business since 1984 SPECIALIZING IN USED MOTORCYCLES
mon, namely a Triumph Bonneville, which was his first bike, and for me, being perched on my Uncle Bob’s bike at 4, were both the start of something beautiful. Jim is a man of few words, although I did get to chat him up a bit, and chasing him down for an interview was damn near impossible, especially after a blown fuse incident. One thing I did find out, is that Jim is to Crystal, what Critter is to 50, which was confirmed and apparent by the washroom decor. I got a chance to talk with Heather Ireland of Biker TV, who made an appearance and taping there, and got to catch up with some old friends, and made a few new ones from Hamilton, who read my articles. The turnout was great, and apparently always is, and after 27 years in business, it’s a testament to their success, so if you’re ever out and about, remember Hip’s Cycle is only a short ride north from Port Dover, for all of your exclusively Harley needs.
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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 17
Fighting for Your Rights Yep, its official . . . Orange is the new black. The shade swap has crept into my life and caused major change. Chill Ollie, my orange ain’t incarceration orange! This orange is a dazzling HD metallic electric orange and it’s gracing the 2009 Road Glide Screaming Eagle CVO that’s stabled in my man cave. Some background music maestro, if you please! . . . I have coveted this bike since it first made its debut in 2009 but the sticker was an obscene 50+ geez and - although not quite outta my reach – there was no way I could justify the outlay. A couple of years back, there was one used (sweet & mint) FLTRSE3 at the bike show but it was above 35 grand. Plus I was deep into customizing my ‘White Line Zombie’ so, once again, I passed. Then my brother Storm acquired a USA Screaming Eagle Decker . . . and yea, dontcha know, it had to be HD metallic electric orange. We rode together last summer and whenever the mood moved him, he gleefully stomped all over me with very impressive performance. We’ve always had this competitive thing between us so this was his ‘get even’ shot and he worked it beautifully – no Vaseline. The 110 CI with the six-speed dominated my 96 CI five-speed, in the twisties and left me outta sight out on the straightaway. While I was reluctantly eating the carbon monoxide, I was also strengthening my inner resolve to quit fuckin’ around and make the move. Sooooo, last October found me and the Bootiful Babs in Blytheville, Arkansas on a mission to bring back my dream machine. Under the tutelage of Amigo Storm, I also made the move to purchase a machine south of the border and import it back into Canada. The process is complicated, riddled with paperwork and numerous details but, for Moi’, it was definitely worth the extra effort. The bike is cherry! Not a mark anywhere and only 23,000 gently used miles on the clock. Back then our dollar was close to parity so I saved about 5 grand. The border crossing was a long procedure
THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 18
(four hours) with both sides on high-alert . . . at one point I was prodded to inquire if they were taping a segment of ‘Border Security’. The steely, fish-eye staredown silently screamed at me ‘NO SENSE OF HUMOR HERE’ so I shut my hole and waited patiently for the process to come to a successful conclusion. What sages of wisdom can I pass along from the experience, you ask? There is only my twocent’s worth that’s worth every penny . . . don’t try this with our loonie depressed to US$0.70! The procedure demands deep pockets and hours of your precious free time so it’s only worth doing if you can save many G-notes otherwise . . . fuggeddaboudid’. While we’re on the subject of motorcycles; ain’t it time to examine exactly what will be defined as a motorcycle going forward? Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary describes ‘motorcycle’ as “a vehicle with two wheels that is powered by a motor and that can carry one or two people”. IMHO it should also specify that seating should be in-line not sideby-side. This morning I was perusing through Road Runner, a motorcycle touring magazine, when I came upon ads for two unrelated three-wheeled vehicles – one had body structure which resembled a GT sports car and the other one snarled from the pages with an aggressive front end reminiscent of a Dodge Ram pickup on steroids. Both vehicles had side-byside seating and both had a single rear wheel. The Toronto Auto Show featured an enclosed vehicle which also had a single rear wheel but was being touted as a commuter automobile. Echoes of the failed Isetta, Eh Ollie? Two years ago I wrote an article on my blog which featured a hydrogen fuel-cell powered two-wheeled vehicle whose only exhaust emission was water. It could achieve 80 kph top speed, had no gears, no clutch, no shifting, and ran completely silent. It was dubbed the ‘Envee’ due to its prototype designation ENV which stood for ‘emissions neutral vehicle’. Anyway, all this
Fighting for Your Rights causes one to ponder WTF the future holds for our lifestyle and the machines that drew us to embrace the freedom of the open road? Just speculatin’- not judgin’! This month’s OCC member club is the Lucky Devils Riding Club. The club was founded in 2012 to provide both male and female riders an opportunity to ride with like-minded individuals who wish to give back to the community while enjoying the open road. LCRC is located in the Greater Toronto Area and is not brand specific but does have a minimum engine size requirement for membership. The club also supports charities which include Wounded Warriors, the Toronto West Ride for Dad, and the Brampton Toy Run. Members of the Luck Devils R.C. strive to promote a positive image of the motorcycle community. Other interests of the club include supporting bikers’ rights and promoting rider safety. Interested in LDRC? Visit www.luckydevilsrc.ca Political Hot Topic: Is the Ontario Liberal Party a ‘criminal org’? Media reports suggest that our current provincial government utilizes methodology that is either illegal – which is currently under investigation – or lacking integrity which is also under investigation. My Grandpa’s philosophy “if you live long enough, you’ll witness everything” was never more apparent than news reports on events that unfolded on February 9th, 2015. It now appears that our premier is to be questioned about a possible criminal act of bribery. Rewind to December 14th, 2014, a former Liberal candidate Mr. Andrew Olivier - rendered a quadriplegic from a hockey accident when he was a youth - reported that he had been contacted by Premier Wynne’s office - “On Friday, the head of the Ontario Liberal Party campaign, Pat Sorbara, called me to reiterate suggestions of a job or appointment. I told Pat I had a job and that I wanted to seek the nomination to be Sudbury’s MPP. At that point, I was informed that if I sought Over 30 Years of the nomination, the premier Winning Cases. was prepared to bypass the nomination process and appoint their chosen candidate,” (Source: Metro News) Sooo, it appears that the above reported sequence of events reveal an alleged illegal activity. Mmmmmm, Free Consultation wonder if Mr. Olivier was ever No Fees Unless a patch holder? Welcome to the, politically I Recover Money motivated, twenty-first For You century, folks . . . where a gay politician openly discriminates
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against a physically handicapped politician! Only in Ontario, Eh, Ollie? Fast forward to February 9th and the Globe & Mail reported; “Wynne’s office confirmed she and Pat Sorbara will meet with detectives amid allegations her deputy chief and Sudbury Liberal organizer Gerry Lougheed illegally offered Andrew Olivier a job to step aside for preferred candidate Glenn Thibeault, the city’s defecting New Democrat MP.” Wynne’s office said the premier is cooperating with the probe. “We’ve been clear that the authorities have our full co-operation, and we are confident that after Premier Wynne and Pat Sorbara meet with the investigators, they will reach the same conclusion,” Wynne’s spokeswoman, Zita Astravas, said Monday in an email to the Canadian Press. Reminiscent of that old chestnut . . . two cannibals are eating a clown, one cannibal sez to the other cannibal . . . “Does this smell funny to you?” Written February 16, 2015 so, by the time you read this, the investigation may be concluded . . . LL Larry Lilly aka Duh Roostah OCC Treasurer firstname.lastname@example.org www.occ4u.org
I WORK FOR YOU
(905) 826-3633 email@example.com THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 19
So I was out at Friday the 13th in February, albeit only for a few short hours much of which was spent chasing Senior around as I saw him and tried to chase him down but failed. So I stocked up all the favorite hotels along Main Street and of course On the Fringe, I had a few ladies titty shirts along with me just in case but it was early afternoon as I rolled in just past 1pm thinkin’ lunch. I made my first stop at Angelo’s and was shootin the shit with lots of friends who were in town at that early hour and yeah there were a few brave souls who rode bikes mostly I think local but I do know that I ran into long time friend Mark of A.B.A.T.E up Woodstock way who rode his bike, but that’s another story. I spotted Seniors truck out the window while in Angelo’s and I went out and chased him missing him at the lights. As I had just started I headed down to Captain Billies and the Norfolk drop-
ping off mags and lookin for any potential titty shirt candidates. The ladies were sparce for sure and the few I discussed with were wishy washy to be kind and since I was on the hunt for Senior so I could buy him lunch I wasn’t gonna dawdle around for a gal who was sorta himin’ and hawin’. I ran into SHawn from the Fort Erie Swap Meet out front of On The Fringe where I had a brief conversation with Elaina and then saw Shawn’s truck across the street when I walked out. It looked awesome all done up in event colors with all kinds of parts all over the truck, sorta driving the point home. I think, I was bummed that I didn’t make it last year after we did our feature shoots in Sherkston but by then it was late and we were heading to Salamanca for dinner. Back to Dover, still determined to find the old man I dispatched Mark from A.B.A.T.E. and his brothers who were en route to Angelo’s to look for him while I repositioned my truck. I ran into my good friend Hip from Hip’s Cycle in Brantford who is a fixture in Dover, he was
YEAH I’M TOO FUCKIN LAZY TO PICK UP THE RIDERS MAG FOR FREE! MAIL ME A YEARS WORTH FOR THE COST OF POSTAGE CANADA: $30.00 CDN, U.S.A.: $35.OO U.S.D. INTERNATIONAL: $75.00 CDN
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1111 DAVIS DRIVE, SUITE 501, UNIT 23 NEWMARKET, ON. L3Y 9E5 THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 20
well on his way even at 3ish in the afternoon, he was flyin to Florida so I am down that way too, maybe I will rent a bike and ride over for a day it’s something I’ve never done before. I never did catch up to Senior and when I met up with him the following week he said as he often does that. He couldn’t find a parking spot so he took off. I would have gladly helped
THE TRADITION CONTINUES
THE ENTIRE STORE FOR THE MONTH OF MARCH Harley-Davidson Motorclothes , Collectibles & Souvenirs
SEE YOU ON THE 13th!
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him out of the truck and took him for lunch if I just could have caught up to him but what can ya do. I was out of Dover by shortly after 3 pm having a planned dinner with my family in upstate New York that evening. Thanks to all who have submitted their bikes, the turnouts been great but don’t let that deter you from getting onto our list. We can use a few more special construction bikes and always more vintage and right now I have a special spot for a sportster that I can shoot this summer as I have openings next year in both January and June for men’s sportsters. Ladies don’t be shy we always need more ladies and you know where our
OPEN WEEKENDS ONLY OPEN FRIDAY MARCH 13th 9 - ?
planned trips are this year and more Niagara bikes would be great as I just got a nice special construction rig in from down Port way and a few more Niagara would be good as I spend a lot of time down that way. To all you ladies whom I know were looking to get your 2015 shirt I apologize but I just couldn’t put the time in during the evening to take care of you but I am sure that Critter will have some people there in March. I will make sure he’s got 50 or so ladies spaghettis for that event which regrettably I am going to miss. See you out there on the road.
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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 21
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A young cowboy from Bearberry just outside of Calgary goes off to college in Ontario. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Waterloo that will teach our dog, Ol’ Blue how to talk!” “That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Ol’ Blue in that program?” “Just send him down here with $1,000” the young cowboy says. “I’ll get him in the course.” So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. “So how’s Ol’ Blue doing son?” his father asks. “Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this - they’ve had such good results
THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 22
they have started to teach the animals how to read!” “Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?” “Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.” The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. “Where’s Ol’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!” “Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading Shakespeare, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, “So, is your daddy still messing around with that little blonde who lives in that old house on the street at the end of the town The father exclaimed, “I hope you shot that SOB before he talks to your mother!” “I sure did, Dad!” “That’s my boy!” The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Ottawa as a Senator. Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, folks from Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia will no longer be referred to as: ‘HILLBILLIES.’ You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore,
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘ 2. She is not ‘EASY’ - She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’ 3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ - She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’ 4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ - She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’ 5. She does not ‘NAG’ you - She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’ 6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ - She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’ HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ - He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’ 2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ - He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’ 3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’ 4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’ 5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’ 6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of the back of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’ Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.” The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, “I’d calm down if I were you.” The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Huffed at the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruﬄy, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!” The older alien again warned his comrade saying, “You probably don’t want to do that!, I really think that will make him mad.” “Bullshit,” replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him about 200 feet into a cactus patch leaving him singed and injured. Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. “What a ferocious creature!” exclaimed the young, fried alien. “He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?” The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied,
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder, then stick it in his ear.” Dog For Sale. Free to good home! Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed “Jethro” anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name, “Ho Lee Fuk!” Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on “Involuntary Muscle Contraction” to the first year medical students. Continued on Page 44
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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 23
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PD RESTORATION SHOP/BUILDER OF THE MONTH
This month’s Shop of the Month is PD Restoration, owned and operated by Phil Dickson at his location; 4192 Perkins Rd. in London Ontario for the past 11 years. It is directly across the road from London Truck and Trailer, a very successful business that Phil started and ran until he decided to “retire” to the much more sedate business of running a motorcycle repair shop. Actually he just moved full time into pursuing his real passion of motorcycles, which was previously done on nights and weekends and has not regretted the decision at all. He, along with his daughter; Krystle, and mechanics; Nick and Jeff have been satisfying their ever expanding customer base and gaining a much deserved reputation as “the place to go” for motorcycle work in the London area and show no signs of slowing down. They are fast and efficient and above all, fair in their treatment of customers and that is what keeps people coming back and bringing their friends with them. You will discover a large selection of accessories for all types of bikes and riders in their large, well lit and clean showroom along with memorabilia and collectables that come from long time involvement in the motorcycle lifestyle. Phil and family are not pedestrian or passive but full on riders and participants which, for Phil, started with an old 1942 “45” then moved into Triumphs and now he rides a 1986 Decker and 1973 Servi-car. He was heavily influenced by the Diablos Motorcycle Club who was big in the area at that time and the motorcycle bug that bit him way back then still has a hold on him today. This is a full service shop, where they work on everything and anything, BSA, BMW, Triumph, Norton, Arial, Indian or Victory and some Japanese, but prefer to specialize in Harley-Davidson and British bikes and do everything from regular service and maintenance items; batteries, oil changes, tires, wheels, trueing and balancing of wheels, repair and engine and transmission rebuilds and repair. But he loves a challenge and he is currently rebuilding an old Sunbeam. They have a large parts department and boast a huge in-
THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 26
ventory of used parts for both HarleyDavidson and British bikes and they can do total from the ground up, restorations (As the name would suggest.) or just provide the parts and expertise needed to keep a vintage ride on the road. The full machine shop area enables them to do most jobs and projects almost completely “In House” and they can also do from the ground up custom builds with the ability to custom fabricate fenders and other one off parts to make that project completely unique. They also have an enormous network of specialty shops, trades and service providers to get the job done as quickly and cost effectively as possible. Being that they are also a dealer for The Mystery Trike rear end they can do trike conversions as the need arises. Fully licenced, knowledgeable and best of all, accessible and approachable with the ability to really listen to their customers are much sought after qualities in a motorcycle shop. These qualities are prevalent at PD Resoration, so they are fast earning the trust and confidence of motorcycle enthusiasts from all over the Province and beyond. While they can do service on the newer bikes their ability to work on the older models that the local Harley Dealers really don’t seem to have time for, or more to the point, lack people that really know, appreciate and understand these older bikes which come with their own set of idiosyncrasies. It’s not that these dealers don’t want to please these owners but the current dynamics of the ever-changing motorcycle industry makes it difficult. For the Dealers with their up and coming younger crews who are fully trained on the newer models but are not familiar with these older gems it is a dilemma. It becomes more of a headache for them, especially in a very busy shop to properly service these bikes and they seek out good alternative shops that they have confidence in and where the needs of these much appreciated customers will be fully satisfied. Phil and company get referrals all the time and fill the void and fit the bill for those of us who are satisfied with our “dated” rides but still need service and they enjoy a good relationship with the dealers as well. A good dealer is one that recognizes that they can no longer do it all and in London they do un-
PD RESTORATION SHOP/BUILDER OF THE MONTH
derstand the been dug out c o m p l ex i o n of an old barn of the indus- in Calgary and try. shipped to To many Phil to work of us “Relicts” his magic on. our bikes are It was a chalour pride and lenge but Phil our joy and an was up to the essential part task. There of our very was even a existence and bullet hole in our persona the old girl and we often which could take more easily have care in finding someone qualified to work on them than we been repaired but Phil left it in to give it character and predo in choosing a family doctor to work on keeping us alive! serve the authentic look that the bike deserved as a war Phil has earned that kind of trust and the word is spreading wound to be displayed proudly as if to say “Look what hapquickly in the motorcycle community. pened to me and I’m still here!” “ Been there done that and Phil takes great pride in his ability to restore and preserve have the scars and bullet holes to prove it!” these old bikes and put them back on The 16H has a proud history and was the road where they belong and keep the workhorse Canadian Dispatch Riders them there. and was used to deliver everything includHe has testimonials from many ing emergency medical supplies, officers happy and satisfied customers such as and other essential services to and from the case of local resident, Tom Brooks the front lines in Italy, France, Holland who bought his 1969 Triumph brand and other fronts during World War II. This new from the dealer in London, rode bike restoration was a tribute to the mait, met his wife on it and together enchines and the men who rode them and joyed the Hell out of it for many years Phil wanted to do them all proud. until for whatever reason the bike was PD Restoration is a great little shop relegated to storage where it sat coland they are great people who know how lecting dust until they dug it out and he to treat people. If you are in the London asked Phil to restore it. The paint was area and need work done, especially on faded and everything was covered in the older models, or if you just want to dirt and oxidization. It looked sad and see a great traditional MotorcyTom in turn was sad at what had becle shop with some really great come of this once, great motorcycle. people running it, stop in and say Phil went to work on it breathed that Critter sent you. new life into the bike and Tom now has his shiny Triumph that had brought him such joy for so long back. His smile might even be broader now than THE CANADIAN DISTRIBUTOR OF: in his younger years before he truly appreciated what he had as he CONTINUOUSLY proudly rides it once again and enjoys the BALANCES THE youthful feeling that it evokes. COMPLETE WHEEL While Phil derives much pleasure and ASSEMBLY satisfaction from all of his projects and can’t really say which one was his favouAVAILABLE FOR HARLEYS, GOLDWINGS, rite, as each had its VICTORY & THE NEW INDIANS own set of challenges and just getting them complete was an ac- Come See it at the Spring Show Mar. 21-22 complishment. They are all special to him. One rebuild he did 4192 Perkins Rd. Unit 2, London, Ontario of a 1940 Norton 16H for The Elgin Military www.pdrestoration.ca firstname.lastname@example.org Museum that had
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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 27
ASSUME THE POSITION I’m sure that most of us with Facebook, at one time or another, have come across the posting of a letter by a “dirty biker” to the family in the red SUV, with its’ all too well know moral being “Don’t judge a book by the cover.” theme. Some may wonder why people lay such prejudice on others, based on outward appearance alone. In today’s society, media plays a large roll in how the world is perceived, from body image, wealth and happiness, to race, religion and sex. This can create a skewed way of thinking, for when people know and care more about talentless icons, than they do about what is going on in their own communities and country, something is wrong. Talking in terms of people, bikers are among many, who fall within the biased circle of misrepresentation. As with anyone though, a few bad apples do not spoil the bunch, and rightfully so, this would be stereotyping. To me, this is just a cheap substitute for clear thinking, which produces negative assumptions and attitudes. The definition of a biker in the Oxford Dictionary reads as follows, “ a motorcyclist, especially one who is a member of a motorcycle gang or club.”, where as a motorcyclist is defined as “one who rides a motorcycle”. This is similar to the word gang vs club, the first denotes an organization with criminal affiliation, while the other, a group with common interests or goals. When news media report events related to motorcycles, they frequently use the terms “bikers” and “gangs”, even when saying proper names, which is a defa-
with Sherri O’Irish mation of character, right off the bat. You have to admit, the Bubble Gum Biker Gang gives off a worse unconscious mental image, than the Bubble Gum Motorcycle Club (a proper, but fictitious name), which can lead to a huge misconception. The fact that law enforcement are engaging in the act of profiling, based on the assumption that particular people are more likely to have the disposition to commit a crime, based on their appearance, is a stereotypical prejudice in and of itself. The selective targeting of a certain individual or group, based on how they look, what they wear, or what they drive, on the grounds that they are under suspicion of criminal activity, has the sour taste of assuming without proof, and we all know that to ASS-U-ME means. With the introduction of the proposed BILL C-51, the vague nature of its’ outline, leaves many individuals, groups and organizations, susceptible to prejudice, stereotyping and targeting. We as a motorcycle community, have seen and endured the results of what can happen, when the negative connotation of assumption is placed on us, lumping us all into the “bad apple” category. Today it may be the bikers, tomorrow ....?
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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 28
The Wild One: Birth of the One
by Donny Percenter Petersen
The Wild One (1953) is a loose depiction of a 4th of July motorcycle run to Hollister, California in 1947. The movie NEW FOR 2015 portrays a fictionalized account of of the famed Hollister riots. This is not an intellectual movie like Easyriders but the first depiction of the biker threat. The Wild One bases on a story, called The Cyclists’ Raid by Frank Rooney. It was published in the January 1951 issue of Harper’s Magazine and as part of a book The Best Build Design American Short Stories 1952. The Cyclist’s Raid is about the 1947 Hollister bike rally Hollister (renamed Wrightsville, California, in the movie) is an inland agricultural town just south of San Custom Bikes & Engines Francisco, Oakland, and San Jose. The city has been the site of organized annual bike rallies named the Hollister email@example.com 519-636-3717 Independence Rally on the July 4th weekend in its present form since 1997, the 50th anniversary of the riots. The 23983 Melbourne Rd. Strathroy, Ont. supposed riot at the 1947 rally trouble. Never has a deflecting “its became the basis for the 1954 film not me, its them” speech created The Wild One. such a powerful symbol for the bike The rallies are on-off affairs clubs who wear the 1%er flashes mainly because of organizational with pride. financial onus placed on organizers The Real Story by the town. However, the Top So, what really happened July Hatters MC mother chapter for the 4th, 1947? Demobilized WWII statewide club is located in Hollister. veterans formed hundreds of The Top Hatters invariably organize small motorcycle clubs with names a poker run on the anniversary like the Boozefighters, 13 Rebels, weekend. In any case, bikers Jackrabbits and the Yellow Jackets. continue to arrive at Hollister every The membership colours were club July 4th, even without vendors and sweaters. Many called them the sponsored, organized events. They straightpipers for obvious reasons. need no permission since they view These guys drank a lot, partied, and Hollister as the birthplace of the rode their bikes. At first the AMA American Biker. welcomed these clubs with open Life Magazine Creates the arms but not for long. Mythology Thousands of bikes rode into Life magazine sensationalized Hollister from all over California the event by splaying a picture and beyond. The 7-man police force of a drunken sot laying across a decided to separate the town locals motorcycle surrounded by beer from the crowds of motorcyclists bottles. Problem was that the and set up roadblocks at either end picture was a fake. I guess the real of the main street. story wasn’t all that exciting. The town’s 21 bars hit pay dirt. The 1% is Born These veteran bikers learned to The American Motorcycle drink in the army and consequently Association (AMA) rides to the drank more. Everyone thought it rescue with its own media take. funny when some rode their bikes Ninety-nine percent of motorcyclists into some of the bars. The police are decent people. The 1% cause the advised the bars to close two hours
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The Wild One: Birth of the One
dispersed and left town. Never Get in the Way of a Good Story How bad was it? Five months later, Hollister sanctioned motorcycle races and the bars welcomed the bikers back with open arms. However, this was never reported as it would have gotten in the way of a good story. In the Wild One, the BRMC (Black Rebels Motorcycle Club) roars into town with their president, Johnny played by Marlon Brando. Johnny does not ride a Harley. Brando rides his personal bike in the movie, a Triumph Thunderbird 650cc. He doesn’t look like a real biker of the day. Brando is clean cut. Chino played by Lee Marvin is not. His character oozes reality and bases on Willie Forkner better known as Wino Willie of the Boozefighters. Chino is grizzled with a cigar stuck in his mouth. He heads up the bad guys, The Beetles MC. He and his boys ride HarleyDavidson’s…and he’s looking for trouble. “I love you Johnny. I’ve been looking for you in every ditch from Fresno to here, hoping you was dead.” In another scene, the pretty small town waitress asks wide-eyed “Hey Johnny, what are you rebelling against”? The iconic Johnny replies, “What’ve you got” as he cooly taps his fingers on the counter to the jukebox jazz. Interestingly, Lee Marvin studied violin as a youth. He rode a Triumph 200cc Tiger Cub in real life competing in AMA desert races. The story goes that George Christie of Ventura California buys the red-and-white horizontally striped shirt that Chino wears in the movie. Another report in www.edwardre. com/bike/FamousBikers.aspx disagrees, saying that “San Francisco biker, Frank Sadilek bought the striped shirt that Lee Marvin wore in the movie. Sadiilek wears the iconic shirt when meeting with police officials.” Regardless, to this day, bikers will wear a same style shirt. Here I am in 2012 reading about the “boot suit” between Brando’s estate and Harley-Davidson. It matters not that Marlon Brando did not ride a Harley-Davidson in real life or the movie. However, it appears that Marlon’s leather calfhigh boots with a buckle on each one have an appeal to the modern biker. Ahhh, why not market a Harley T-shirt with red and white stripes from Lee Marvin’s character? Wrong image. The image of a rebellious, independent soul who is really a good guy underneath it all is what we are after. Hopefully, the image depiction organizes charity runs in his middle years. In March 2012, Brando Enterprises LP and HarleyDavidson, Inc. along with Wolverine Worldwide Inc. (the current boot manufacturer) settle a lawsuit over the unlicensed use of the Brando name on a Harley-branded boot that resembles the ones that Johnny (Brando) Strabler wore in the Wild One in 1953. Brando Enterprises did not authorize H-D to use the name. However, Brando Enterprises has licensed other products including the Triumph that Marlon Brando rode in the Wild One. donny petersen www.donnypetersen.com
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early. The 3-day party overwhelmed the police as many bemused townspeople watched the show of impromptu drunken drag racing, wheelies, and burnout contests. The local hospital treated about 60-bikers for various selfinflicted injuries. About the same number were arrested for misdemeanor disorderly conduct, public drunkeness, and reckless riding. Most were released as they sobered up. However, no one died, there were no rapes, arsons, looting, or other serious crimes. No locals were harmed. On the Sunday about 40 California Highway Patrol (CHP) officers arrived and threatened tear gassing. The bikers
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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 30
by Donny Percenter Petersen
2015 Ottawa International Motorcycle Show Well there were four things that were guaranteed to happen in February of this year, two of them were the sound of the brass monkey’s balls hitting the ground because it was so damn freaking cold out this winter and the other two things were the 6th Annual Ottawa International Motorcycle Show taking place and The Riders Mag (E.Ontario) being there taking part in it. This year the show was extended to three days and as coincidence would have it that included not only Friday 13th but also Saturday was Valentines Day so there were a lot of couples coming to the show and as in last year the main attraction were two members of the cast of the hit television series, Sons of Anarchy. Tommy Flannigan aka Chibbs returned this year and brought along with him Mark Boone Jr aka Bobby. The layout for this year’s show was greatly improved with additional space and layout allowing for a larger stage area for the bands and award presentations as well as refreshment area where the public could enjoy a bite to eat and rest up a bit before they made another tour of the aisles and all out of the way of the displays and vendors. With the help from some of TCB we had the Mag booth up and ready to rock and roll in no time and as usual allowing me to sneak away and get a pre-show look at who and what
were at the show and what bikes were participating in the show & shine. Much like the layout, the number and the quality of the motorcycles that were on display was a vast improvement and it is nice to see this show developing and attracting more and more participants from outside the local Ottawa area with some riders from Switzerland. While many of the exhibits were not up or had not arrived yet, one of the ones that immediately caught my eye was a large display of motorcycle related artwork created by the artist Marc Lacourciere, whose renditions capture not only moments in the biker lifestyle but also celebrate the heart and soul of forever two wheels and what it
tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!
means to all of us and if To all Veterans and this sentence doesn’t tell Supporters of our you how impressed my buddies and I were with Fallen and Wounded Motorgraphics by Motor Join us for the: Marc Art then click on his 7th Annual website and take a glance yourself, you will like what he does. It is my hope that one day Marc might consider participating in the Mag or perhaps let us do a write up about him. Not too far over was the Indian Motorcycles Rendezvous: display and trust me it was a people stopper because June 7th, 2015 for many this was the first 1300 hours (1pm) opportunity to have a look at the various models that Canadian Aviation and Indian Motorcycles have come out with. There was Space Museum something for everyone and while they were all 11 Aviation Parkway, Ottawa mind boggling my personal favorites were their trike model that eye-popped with its art deco styling. It gave even those who are not traditionally fans of trikes something to reconsider and just beside that awesome trike was a retro model complete with a sidecar. Now I have noticed over the last few years that more and more sidecars are showing up on the roads and at motorcycle events. I admit it’s nice to see their return, trust me the motorcycle combo with m a t c h e d sidecar was one of the most beautiful things I have seen in years. For me it’s kind of full circle to see a motorcycle on the road that is mostly built and produced in North America because personally I am not a “Global” kind of guy and want to see more “made in North America” labels. I hope that in
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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 31
the near future we will see Indian Motorcycles advertised in our mag!.. Just saying! On Friday night I had the pleasure of meeting our newest addition to the Mag family, Guy from Northern Ontario who along with his significant other, the lovely JM stopped by to introduce themselves so that we could get to know each other and in no time it felt like we had known each other for years and the two of them are great people and I am looking forward to some of us heading up their way when riding season finally makes its appearance and visit Guy to enjoy some of that northern hospitality. There are some incredible roads and places to visit up that way so keep that in mind if you are planning any trips over the summer. Think “North” and who knows if you are lucky enough you might meet up with Guy and JM. One of the people who stopped by to say hello was a good friend and someone I consider a brother, Barry Horan who traveled up from Cornwall in the crappy weather to attend the show and as an added bonus brought me a hoodie he got for me from Irish Choppers who are situated in the Boston area. Now we all like to get a gift especially if it is motorcycle related but getting one that is also Irish and Celtic related well folks that’s like winning the lottery too! Also up from
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tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!
the Cornwall area was another “brother” from a different mother, Perry Montgomery and his wife, the “lovely” Geneanne and they had one of their motorcycles on display and the bonus was we had the pleasure of their presence at our booth for a good part of the show. On one of my many walkabouts during the show I made it over to the Capital City Bikers Church booth and paid my respects to Hillbilly and Nelia along with the Beavan’s, Beth and Bruce. Everyone saw to it that I was informed that the CCBC Swap Meet (which of course is considered the season opener for riding season in the Ottawa area) will be taking place on Saturday May 2nd. In keeping with tradition they will still makes vendor space available for free and all they charge for admittance is $2.00 of which much of that goes for a $500.00 door prize held at 2:00 pm. You can’t get better than that, so please remember if you would like to bring some swap and sell it be sure and get your name in soon as you can, tables go fast and be sure to stop by and say hi at the Mag table & TCB. Earlier I mentioned that the new layout at this show provided a better stage and area for people to enjoy the music and presentations. Part of that m u s i c a l entertainment was our good friend, Blair “GarDog” Gardiner, who along with his fellow band members of the Indelible Shameless Blues Band. Blair and the boys truly belted out some time honored blues sounds. Every time they started to play there was a stream of people grabbing a seat to let the band entertain them. I hope to see the Indelible Shameless Blues Band at many events over the summer and if you are organizing an event you would be doing yourself a favor by considering Blair and the band as your entertainment. Just in front of the stage area was the custom motorcycle display area and compared to previous years the number and the quality of bikes on display was considerable. Hopefully this is the beginning of more custom motorcycle builders coming to Ottawa to show off their creativity and skills. There was also a larger contingent of motorcycle tech equipment
and products being offered to the public. One booth in particular caught the attention of myself and a number of my buddies, Prizma, a company that does sandblasting and powder coating and their display of colors that can be powder coated onto metal, plastic, carbon fiber etc was very impressive and even more impressive was the price quotes they provided. I will be personally visiting Prizma in the next month or so because powder coating and the various textures and finishes that are available today inspire you to make accessories on your bike just that much more your own creation. Our friends from Classy Chassis from Lakefield Ontario near Peterborough are regulars at the Toronto shows and the Ottawa show and if you are looking for a deal on a quality previously - owned Harley then give these folks a call because they are continually getting in new bikes and offer great service. Throughout the year they host a number of events, rides and bbq’s that are fun to attend and at the same time you can check out their ever changing inventory. Just behind the Indian Motorcycle display was Len’s Trikes and while everyone likes to get their picture taken with the large stuffed toy gorillas that sit on some of Len’s trikes, the real draw is the space-age styling of the trikes they sell. If you are looking for something in a trike that lets you stand out then you might want to check out Len’s and see if they have something you would like.
tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!
any younger, better looking or smarter. On one of my trips back I stopped by a booth called Garage Guyz, where they know how to build you a custom setup that is so inviting you won’t give a dam if your significant other banishes you to the garage. In fact you may welcome being banished. These folks are serious artists in creating an ideal environment for you and your toys and trust me they have it all from custom lifts to incredible flooring and their selection of cabinets and wall systems are amazing. At our booth we were handing out flyers letting everyone know that on Saturday March 28th the annual New Moon Tattoo Fundraiser is taking place and over the weekend my good friend Dan Allaston dropped by and we had a chance to talk about his plans for this year’s charity event. Dan along with Shawn Dawson, owner of Fatboys Southern Smokehouse will be heading out to Nepal along with others to attempt to climb to the base camp of Mt. Everest or even higher for various charities. Keep in mind the base camp of Everest is over 17,000 ft high and while I have problems with a couple of flights of stairs Dan and Shawn will be climbing to the base camp. All the funds raised by people who sponsor Dan along with 100% of the New Moon Tattoo Studios net proceeds from the fundraiser on the 28th will be donated to the Motorcycle Ride for Dad and the Prostate Cancer Fight Foundation. Dan will be paying all his own expenses and
Every so often I had to head back to the Mag booth to rest up because those cement floors can really beat the crap out of you and besides it isn’t like I am getting
THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 33
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while I envy both Dan & Shawn on their adventure, for once I am actually glad I am old and an experience like that is entirely out of the question! Like I say to people..my name is Beau..not Schmoo! If you would like to show your support for Dan & for the Ride for Dad, you can stop by either of the New Moon Tattoo shops and you can purchase tickets for one of 5 awesome packages being drawn for on April 9th with first prize being $1,000.00. So show your support for a good cause and make our motorcycle community proud. Some of the other friends that dropped by during the show were Dave and Noella Kuhnle, who are the founders of Ottawa’s Ride for Autism that takes place July 18 and a ride that members of the TCB take an active part in including helping man the bbq. They are offering for a limited time a free Autism Ride T-shirt for anyone who preregisters for their ride. It’s a good cause that affects many families and I sure hope I get the pleasure to meet many of you at this year’s ride. As in past years I
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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 34
tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!
stopped by to visit the ladies at the Motor Maids but sadly the “lovely” Nancy Maloney is down south with her hubby, Mike aka “Grinder” so the boys and I didn’t get our fix of home baking that she always has on hand for us but I am sure she will double up when we see them at this year’s CCBC Swap Meet. If you have read my columns over the years you will know that I am a huge fan of women riding their own bikes and in my last column the boys and I had the pleasure of spending some time with a few of the ladies from the Iron Sirens Motorcycle Club for Chicks (hey! they call it that) and they were dynamite. Hopefully we will see more and more clubs like theirs spring all over our motorcycle communities across Ontario. Just over from the Motor Maids display was the S.O.A.R. booth manned by Mike and Adele Bossio who were handing the literature and bumper stickers promoting the month of May as Motorcycle Awareness Month, which thanks to the efforts of this group which several of the TCB and the Mag were part of the executive, has now become province wide so be sure to watch for more information in future issues of The Riders Mag. One of the highlights of the show was a visit from Critter who came through the bitter cold and freezing snow to see how the show was going and to see our set up with the possibility of doing something similar at the shows he does because in every aspect of the Riders Mag we are always trying to improve. While we are making changes but we are not changing... and we will always be a magazine about the people who ride motorcycles not just about makes of motorcycles. Anyhow it was really great to spend some one on one time catching up with Critter because it seems that when we get together at most shows we never seem to find the time to sit down and catch up on personal stuff or even talk about some of the new projects that we are both working on to bring to all of you in the 2015 season. A couple of other booths I would like to mention were RPM (Recreation – Performance – Motor Show) held up in Havelock where the show is geared towards motorcycles, trucks, cars etc. Considering the success of the Havelock Country Jamboree, I suspect this show will become a major event in no time and who knows, you might see us there this year.
I also want to thank radio station 101.9 Dawg fm who entertained us over the weekend with good blues music and no freaking rap or hip hop music, sorry if I have stepped on any toes among my readers but I am old and it’s my column. I also would like to mention the booth next to us belonging to WFG ( World Financial Group Insurance Agency) or more to the point, Serge Phillips who over the weekend asked a thousand questions about motorcycle riders and how to reach them and figuring out their needs. He wants to reach out to bikers to better serve our community. We had Serge dumping the shirt and tie in no time. Like last year our booth was situated across from Ottawa Goodtime Centre and in the early part of the show I had a chat with Jason and mentioned that I want metric dealers to start advertising in the Mag because our readership is not bound to people who only ride Harley. As the years go by I have friends who are as hardcore biker as they come and they have chosen to switch to metric or have both. Besides these days you have to often look twice to see what make many cruiser-style bikes are and when you live long enough you truly do discover that it is the rider who makes the biker and not the make of motorcycle they ride. Before I close off I want to personally thank all my brothers in The Celtic Brotherhood for once again stepping into an imaginary phone booth and becoming the “Paperboyz”. Spending their weekend not only helping me set up the show but working it. They were amazing and truly charmed the show public. I especially want to thank the “lovely” Bette, my significant other and the “lovely” Sandra who worked so hard managing the booth while the boys and I were out chatting up our readers and making new friends. I also would like to thank Debi Katsmar from the Ottawa International Motorcycle Show for all her hard work and patience in helping those who were participating in the show deal with whatever issues that came up. She remained a true
tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!
lady of grace while making it happen. Debi, you are a class act! As always I want to remind you that if you are an event – ride or a business that deals with either motorcycles or their riders and you might like to advertise or carry “The Riders Mag” please contact me by email or phone. Email: email@example.com You can also follow me on twitter as well ..but please keep in mind I am a newbie and it will be a while before I master it. https://twitter.com/Motorcyco_Beau Instagram: the_riders_mag_east Read The Riders Mag Online: http://theridersmag.com/online/ And as always I want to leave you with this reminder for all of you to follow... We Make Our Motorcycle Communities Stronger!... By Making Them Better!...Ride Safe! Ride Proud! ... Brotherhood! Motorcyco Beau!
THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 35
There is no doubt that winter sucks for bikers and my winter is no different. It’s the time of year when we all get out a bit less as expenses go up and the temperature plummets. It’s the time of year that I miss good times and good friends so I was more than happy to see a winter Friday the 13th. I did not ride, just not quite that tough, but I did make it down. In fact, I had so much fun with old friends that it took me two days to get home - oh yeah, gotta love old friends!!!
ed. I didn’t get a lot of pics cuz I’m really not one to take pics in a bar, maybe a bit old school but hey, that’s how I roll . . . I can tell you that we drank, we danced, and we laughed! So after some fun at Angelo’s I made it down to the Norfolk. I still hadn’t seen a lot of Riders Mags around so I grabbed D.O.T. Certified what I had in the van and Helmets distributed them to the Mag hungry crowd at the Norfolk - it didn’t take long to run out of Mags. After a fun filled Friday night in Dover, I snuggled in Selkirk with an old 277 8th St. East Owen Sound, Ont. up friend. Saturday morning started with coffee and Baileys, then a nice breakFinally, another adventure! I started at Angelo’s where I fast to start the tour to Wellandexpected to run into JR and Senior. There was no sign of them port to visit our old friend Ray. when I arrived, but I did run into Ed who told me his friend on Saturday afternoon was spent the orange and black decker had ridden in from Woodstock with Martinis while listening to - good on ya! I decided Ray’s stories. There were stories to venture around town of the Panama Canal, Panama where I saw a few more Reds, and Panama Jack! Ray has bikes including Craig on a story about everything! After his Enduro style ride. an afternoon on the river of Ray, we headed back to Selkirk Craig is attempting a for dinner and a movie. personal list of riding Next thing you to Dover at least once know it was Sunday in each month of the morning and time to year. When I met Craig, head home - but it he was just checking off wasn’t over yet. One February and the only remaining months were March and more stop was reApril. His list will be complete in 2016. Craig deserves an exquired both to drop tra slice of raisin pie for that one! of a custom hoodie After a quick pic of Craig I went back to Angelo’s and lo and visit with Sue and and behold there were some of my old Hamilton buddies Wes. Sue had been in from the 80’s sitting there!!! That’s when the fun really startDover on Friday yet we just could not seem to be in the same place at the same time! Sue showed me the hammer massage, sure, I -REPAIRS TO ALL thought it was kinda MAKES AND MODELS strange too but it actually -SAFETY INSPECTIONS feels pretty darn good - I have now been hammered -AC SERVICE by Sue. I also took tips on learning to use a urinal, I really hope that is something I do not have to use too much in the future. 1200 TWINNEY DR. UNIT 10 There is a reason men NEWMARKET ONTARIO L3Y 9E4 use urinals and women sit
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down, but I can’t explain it all here . . . While visiting my old friends I had an absolute blast but it isn’t all fun and games. As we go through life and get older there are more and more friends that aren’t around anymore. Many have passed on, some fell into one type of trap or another, and many are not riding as much or at all anymore due to health issues. I realize this is just life but it does pull on my heart strings to see people who I love and respect who are not enjoying life to the fullest. Texts and pms just aren’t the same, please visit your old friends whenever you can, check up on them or phone when you can’t visit because not everyone has someone looking out for them. Be nice to each other and take care of one another!’
DIX DAVIES 1936 - 2015 GBNF I have just received the sad news that our friend Dix Davies had passed away. Dix was a true biker who stuck to his beliefs regardless of who agreed or disagreed, I think that`s what drew me to him. One of Dix’s claims to fame was being a founding father of A.B.A.T.E. here in Ontario. It did not exist before Dix and some friends put it together. Dix and friends felt that Ontario bikers needed an association to stand up for their rights while portraying bikers in a positive way so A.B.A.T.E. was created. I remember visiting Dix at his ``compound`` at Jane and Finch in the early 90`s and Dix showing us all the neat biker memorabilia he had and the A.B.A.T.E. filing cabinet bursting with paperwork, newspaper clippings, and ideas. He was always full of fantastic stories and valid information, he had the archives from the filing cabinet embedded in his memory. Dix was one of the real bikers and will be dearly missed by friends and family. There will be a Celebration of Life on June 6th at The Final Frontier property starting at Noon. This will be followed by a Ride to Clinton ending at The Perth County Chilli Fest. ‘RIP old friend, Ride Forever Free!!!’
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I have received a number of emails asking the same question “Is Heaven and Hell Real?” I have done a lot of research and reading and found books with more info than this magazine contains so I am going to try and summarize this topic. Most human beings believe in life after death. In fact, most people not only believe in a heaven, but also feel sure that they are going there after death. However, very few people believe in a hell, statistically speaking. Moreover, it would be hard to find many people who truly believe they are going to hell. The Bible teaches that there is a literal heaven and a literal hell. Heaven is the spiritual dwelling place of God, and it is where all true Christians will go after death, provided they remain faithful throughout life. Hell is the place of eternal separation from God, prepared for the devil and his angels. It is a place of eternal torment. Heaven - When you think of heaven, do you imagine fat little angels sitting around on clouds playing harps? If so, you are not alone in this thought. However, with all due respect, you could not be more in error. The Bible does not present heaven as a physical place on the clouds in the sky where people will spend time trying to amuse themselves for all of eternity. Rather, it presents heaven as the spiritual dwelling place of God where Christians will reside for all of eternity, worshipping Him and enjoying the glory and joy of God’s presence. Heaven will be the fulfillment of all of the desires and wishes of the heart of man. There will be no pain or suffering, and it will be an eternal morning where Christians bask in the illuminated glory of God. The images of heaven in the Bible only hint at how wonderful it will be for Christians. Revelation 21:1-4 reads: “Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Hell - In the same manner that people imagine heaven as a crowd of harp-players lounging on clouds trying to pass the time, so do many people imagine hell as a little cave where a red man with a tail and horns pokes people in their backs with a pitchfork. This little devil character can sometimes be downright cute. It is sad that the world has popularized this
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This monthâ€™s feature guy is Dick from Chatham and this 1967 Electra Glide is his tribute to not only his first but also his favorite Harley; 1981 Electra Glide. Dicks story is a little bit different than many of those I have encountered over my years writing this piece, he says that like so many of us he started out his riding on metrics saying his most memorable was the now infamous Kawi 900. He says once he grew up he wanted a Harley and he bought himself his 1981 Electra Glide nearly new and rode that bike forever. He was totally happy with it both in terms of comfort and reliability but he never felt the need to ride much further than Toronto or Niagara Falls trailering the bike down to Daytona Beach for the 50th annual bike week. Dick held a steady job at a local plant in the Chatham area for many years until the plant was sold and sold again eventually shutting down and getting shipped off to points unknown. He never married had no particular debt or children to pay for so financially he says he was in good shape and he had a friend in the seed business which is huge in the farming areas of the province. He put 4 years in selling distributing
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and planting corn seeds and others until an opportunity that he really like came along at another local plant that was making steel parts for the automotive industry. Once Dick was back in the factory setting and working he decided that he would like to upgrade his bike since he had been holdin his 81 Electra Glide for more than 15 years at this point he started lookin around for another bike that he might like saying that through the entire evo era he couldnâ€™t seem to find a bike that he really liked. He was kinda sorta partial to the new Road Kings that had come out a few years earlier but he says it wasnâ€™t until he saw a brand new twin cam Road King at a bike night in 1999 that he knew he had finally found the one bike that he would let his beloved 1981
go for. A buddy of his wanted to buy his old shovel so he sold it to him on the condition that if he ever decided that he wanted to sell it that Dick got first rights to buy the bike back before he could sell it to any others. Dick took his road king and literally hit the road doin some serious ridin on his brand new ride and putting a lot of bucks into it in the process as well of course. He liked the Road King but he wanted something a little more touring and he after upgrading his Road King with Chrome wheels and a lot of other goodies which contributed to a large box of spare parts in his garage he traded off the Road King on a Street Glide which he rode for a few years as well but through it all and his trips with his buddies or his lady of the time there was always something missing for Dick. He rode to the east coast of Canada, through the great Smokey Mountains in Kentucky and Tennessee, Lake Placid in upstate New York, Laconia New Hampshire, and even took a ride with his buddy Dave to Sturgis South Dakota 2 weeks before the big event, for their 50th birthday saying well we missed all the crowds and we got to go and see Mount Rushmore and the herds of buffalo and all the other stuff you would usually do only without the big ass crowds that you would expect, but they both wanna return only this time when the event is actually going on and Dick says that he is good to go once he reaches retirement which at the time of the shoot was not too far off into the distance. So getting back to that feeling that something was missing. Dick’s buddy who had bought his old 1981 from him had decided to sell or trade it and let him know of his plans and Dick waived the bike at the time which I understand was
quite a few years back and got himself a Heritage Springer which he sold and ended up buying a brand new Ultra Classic. Dick says he still regrets not buying that bike back but at the time he was happy to be riding either one of his brand new twin cams and putting a lot of mileage on them. A couple of years ago he decided that he wanted to have another old Electra Glide and he knew that his old 1981 had been sold and that the owner was not selling despite not riding it too much so he went in search of a bike to recreate his favorite ride of all time and he found this 1967 bike which was someone else’s project and apparently they had been projecting for about 7 years and had finally threw in the towel and put the bike up for sale. Dick says when he got it, it had no windshield or fairing and no baggage on the back and the entire engine was all aftermarket repop and when he purchased the bike and transferred the ownership over it had to be registered as a 2012 as the ownership went to the aftermarket engine which he says was part Delkron and part S & S. He says that he found an original 74” shovel engine with ownership on one of the popular auction websites and he drove to check it out and ended up buying it.
Fortunately for Dick his best buddy Dave is an exceptional mechanic who has the touch when it comes to the older iron and they tore the bike down and its aftermarket engine then tore down the engine that he bought on line and Dave selected the very best pieces from both engines to put together one fine running engine and added to the mix an S & S 93” sidewinder kit and put together one fine running shovelhead. They had worked on the bike over the winter of 12/13 and once that was all put together dick put the sheet metal and picked up an aftermarket fairing added some high end tunes and an authentic looking set of baggage for the back of the bike and Dave says he picked up a 40amp alternator to swap out from the original generator and the thing just hums. Dick had only put 1500 miles on it by the time they had it all ready to ride in 13 and we got to the shots in April of 2014 on our southwest trip and I know Dick was itchin to get this out onto the road and go for a ride and had definite plans to trailer it down to Daytona in 2016 for the 75th anniversary saying he was last there in 1991 for the 50th, and he says he and Dave are gonna ride to Sturgis for the real even this time once they are both retired.
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by That Northern Guy
Well here I go writing my first official article for The Mag. It is a bitter sweet moment. As much as I’ve been looking forward to this, I never expected to write about motorcycles and the lifestyle in the dead of winter. With freezing temperatures outside, the bike inside is sitting on the hoist waiting for new parts to arrive and be installed. One thing to remember is that we are on the second half of the winter, and along with that, comes longer daylight hours and warmer temperatures. Heck, February is almost done! Owner: Dick Caron There’s just about another thirty (30) days left to get our PAINTING City: Chatham rides ready to hit the open road. Unlike most people, I use Powder Coating: Steve this neutral time to fix-up, tune-up, and install all those little GENERAL Colour: Black & Birch White extras that I didn’t have time to do last year or want for this Year & Make: 1967 H-D FRAME/SUSPENSION year’s riding season. Model: FLH Year: 1967 This venture of introducing the Mag to Northern Ontario Value: $26,500 Builder: H-D has come with a lot of surprises. The major one is being Assembly by: Dave C and Swing Arm: Disc Brake style totally ignored by those who I thought would embrace the Owner Rear Suspension: 11 ½” shocks opportunity, to being accepted with open arms by the ones Time: 6 Months ACCESSORIES who I thought would of found every excuse in the book to say Chrome By: PlatingMaster Bars: Lots of trouble no. Wow! How I failed at reading people’s thoughts this time ENGINE Risers: Aftermarket 2 piece around. The Rider’s Mag will be a great success in Northern Year: 1967 Controls: GMA Ontario! It has only been around just under a month and Model: FLH Fenders H-D I have people calling me to become distribution points as Builder: H-D. Fairing: Kuryakyn well as people wanting me to cover their events already in Rebuilder: Dave C. the works for this summer. Now, if I could find people to Turn Signals: H-D Displacement: 93” advertise in this fine publication, as this is the only lifeline the Taillight: H-D Mag has in order to survive, the circle would be complete. It Sidewinder Electrics: H-D & Dave C Lower End: S&S Oil Tank: H-D, dip stick in ﬁlter would then be a matter of expanding it afterwards. I even had comments said to me: “It’s about time something like Balancing: S&S Mirrors: Kuryakyn Flywheels: S&S 4 ½” Stroker Grips: Joker Machine vintage this comes to the north!” That’s why; I see it becoming an overnight success. I was aware that the motorcyclist lifestyle Rods: S&S Gauges: what for was alive and well up north, but this has showed me that Cylinders: S&S 3 5/8” bore Gas Tanks: 66 H-D Tanks it’s much more than just the few meet and greets and biker Pistons: S&S Foot Controls:H-D socials here and there. People like me just can’t wait for this Cases: H-D Front Pegs: Floor Boards H-D winter to go away so we can continue where we left off last Heads: H-D Rear Pegs: H-D originals fall on our rides. Cam(s): S&S 514 Primary Cover: Chrome early Toronto Bike show – January 2nd 3rd 4th 2015 Lifters: S&S style shovel As any other year begins, the highlight of the holiday Carb: S&S season for this northern guy is the end of it, as it’s now time FRONT END Air Cleaner: S&S for the Toronto International Motorcycle show. Like a kid at FORKS Valves: Manley Severe Duty Type: H-D Christmas, I find it hard to sleep the night before and usually get up at 3:00 AM to be on the road by 4:00 AM, simply to Pipes: Panghco exhaust Year: 2000 have breakfast before the opening hour of the most exciting w/67-69 style muﬄers Builder: Owner time of the winter. As we enter hall 5, with my advanced Coils/Wires: H-D Triple Trees: Original 67’s Ignition: H-D Special Features: Double Disc purchased tickets, we pass by all the poor unfortunate souls standing in the cold and we sort out how we are going to Machine Work: Walker conversion attack the overwhelming display of chrome and metal Automotive, Bill & Ted’s WHEELS & FENDERS works of art, combined with the compilation of friends and work FRONT acquaintances along the way. People who know us ask: TRANSMISSION Size: 16” “How’s Critter doing at The Mag?” As everybody that know Year: 1967 Type: 2000 Road King 9 spoke us, no bike show is complete without a stop at the Rider’s Type: 4 Speed Tire: Dunlop WWW Mag booth or at the Beer Garden to have a few words with Modiﬁcations: Dave C Fender: H-D my long time friend Critter. This year was no different, I Rebuild Brakes: H-D dual disc Shifting: foot REAR Engine Sprocket: Original Size: 16” H-D Type: Road King 9 spoke Trans Sprocket: 24 tooth Rim Width: 4” Wheel Sprocket: 48 tooth Dunlop WWW Clutch: Not Imported mouse Brakes: Performance Machine trap assist Fender Struts: H-D Primary Drive: Diamond Gears: H-D close ratio Model: Monica Case: H-D
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Whispers of a Neoteric Nomad
thought, until I asked: “When he was going to bring the Mag to North Ontario?”. When he offered me the gig, to take care of this great publication back up north, I was ecstatic to accept the offer. I had often thought that it would be great to write about the biking activities up north. Although they are far and few between for now, they are of quality caliber. One thing I can say is that bikers up north are a dedicated bunch to the cause. Of course it’s like everywhere else, when I say that the few unfortunate individuals that stereotype us are always around, causing a scene, but it doesn’t take long that their unsupported cries fall on deaf ears. Spending a few hours at the bike show for us, is like spending a week on holidays away from this day to day grind in the dead of winter. As in the previous years, it was very fulfilling. Thank you to all those who make it happen! Ottawa Bike Show – February 13th 14th 15th 2015 Who gets out of a warm bed at 4:00 AM, first of all when the temperature is -37º c., and even thinks of motorcycles and such activities while avoiding the blistering cold? And to top it off, being that it is Friday the 13th! This Northern Guy does! You guessed it, we opt to take the cage. Along with my riding and life partner, Mad, one that doesn’t brave the cold too much, all dressed up in her battery operated heated jacket and sweater, that tagged along, not only to make certain I wouldn’t return from the show with a truckload of bikes and parts, but to be my right hand man (woman). Don’t get me wrong, she doesn’t run the show, but keeps me wanting more for the next one. As we were warned previously, this show was more condensed compared to the Toronto International Motorcycle show, but it still offered many of the same key ingredients such as: metal and chrome, classic works of art, great friends, good food, and can’t forget, a beer garden that only in the recent months, I have been made aware that walking around admiring these beautiful creations either on two wheels or on two lovely legs, is permitted. Now this, in my opinion, gives bike shows a major plus in my books. Nothing in this world is better than walking around with a beer in one hand, camera in the other, stumbling through the halls, admiring these beauties! The highlight of this show, was to meet my new friend “Beau”, from the Rider’s Mag, Eastern Ontario, and the Celtic Brotherhood who were all set up with an ongoing display of Mags as well displaying the tremendous work he and his crew do for their supported charities. The words of wisdom that he shared with me were just absorbed and appreciated as I embark on this new journey. The welcome received from him and his crew will be returned in ten folds in due time. I guarantee you that! I had been aware of the Celtic Brotherhood back in the day when they sold t-shirts and apparels at the former Antrim Flea Market which was always a designated stop for us whenever we headed to our Nation’s Capital. We would always make time and a point to stop by the market to see what was up. Although we never
by That Northern Guy
had met officially, I admired what he and his crew were doing with the space provided, how everything was organized and displayed. Needless to say that I have in my collection of swag, a hoodie from the “Banshee Bikers Products” that I wear with pride on any given opportunity. Also at this show, was the SOA meet and greet which I purchased tickets and accompanied Mad for dinner so she could meet her favorite Irish actor. Dinner consisted of chicken pasta with sauce combo, roast beef and vegetables. The best part of the dinner, is when the producer of the event paid our drinks. Being grateful to our host, he simply wanted to know how we were enjoying ourselves. Great turn out and met interesting people. In closing, I must add that people that know me know that I speak what I think. Being in the limelight of the Rider’s Mag, I have chosen to convert the term I loosely use such as “stupid” to “unfortunate” just to be a little bit more diplomatic. ;) Until next time, stay warm, and we’ll see you down the road. Cheers!!!
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This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, “Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?” She replied, “Probably golfing with his buddies.” It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom. A bus stops and Two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.” The lady can’t take this anymore, “You foulmouthed sex obsessed pig!”, she retorted indignantly. ‘In this country, we don’t speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!” ‘Hey, coola down lady,’ said the man, ‘Whooza talkin’ about sex? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda
how to spell ‘Mississippi.’
2 inches - I can’t even hold it. 3 inches - Never been so unsatisﬁed. 4 inches - I’ve had bigger than that. 5 inches - Good, but I wish a bit bigger! 6 inches - Perfect. 7 inches - Love it. 8 inches - Wow! But can’t have it all. 9 inches - Painful but manageable. 10 inches - Too much pressure on stomach. This survey was about ‘Customers’ Feedback’ on different sizes of ‘Subway Sandwiches’. And, ... I’m a little disturbed at the way you think! The old duffer bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer store. He placed them on the front seat and headed back home. He stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jacket which was wide open. She glanced at the beer, bent over, and knocked on his passenger window, and said, in a sexy voice, “I’m a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?” He thought for a few seconds and asked, “What kind of beer ‘ya got?” This is perhaps the most profound observation I have heard in recent times: “Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free...it’s women who make it hard. A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, had attempted to sue St Luke’s Hospital, alleging that after her husband had surgery there he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied “Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology –- all we did was correct his eyesight.” The Great Lao-Tzu said: “When you see a mosquito land on your testicles, is when you come to realize that there is Mention This Ad ﬁa rst way to solve problems without using violence.” and Receive
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The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, “So, YOU are the Great Lone Ranger”? “In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days.” “Before I kill you, I grant you three requests” “What is your FIRST request?” The Lone Ranger responds, “I’d like to speak to my horse.” The Chief nods and Silver is
brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver’s ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger’s tent and spends the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he’s impressed. “You have a very fine and loyal horse”, “But I will still kill you in two days.” “What is your SECOND request?” The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse’s ear. As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief’s surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night. The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. “You are indeed a man of many talents,” “But I will still kill you tomorrow.” “What is your LAST request ???” The Lone Ranger responds, “I’d like to speak to my horse, .... alone.” The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger’s tent. Once they’re alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, Looks him square in the eye and says, Listen Very Carefully !!!! FOR... THE... LAST... TIME... I SAID ... “BRING POSSE”
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Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat. The first kid says, “My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed.” The second kid replies, “Yeah? Well, that’s nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the night shift, he sleeps with the woman next door.” An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 am and he was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer then asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replied, “That would be my wife.” In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.” The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him”. The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if Over 20 yrs of Award Winning Custom Bike Seats Pans~Shaping Engraving~Studs
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1,Hamilton Road,London, Ont. N6B-1M9 she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.” What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said ‘nothing’. The reason I said that instead of saying ‘just thinking’ is because she would have said ‘about what’ At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.”
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.” I rest my case. Time for another beer. A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realized that they were stranded on deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle, a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Kathleen Wynne. That evening, the man brought Kathleen to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get “those feelings” again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Kathleen and told her he hadn’t had sex for months. Kathleen batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him. He said, “Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?”
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Sven and Ole worked togedder in a Minnesota factory,and bot of dem were laid off. So, dey went to da Unemployment Office togedder. Asked his occupation, Ole said, “Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto da ladies panties.” The clerk looked up ‘Panty Stitcher’ and, finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Ole $300 a week in unemployment compensation. Sven, when asked his occupation replied, “Diesel Fitter”. The clerk looked up ‘Diesel Fitter’,and it was classified as a skilled job. So, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week in unemployment compensation. When Ole found this out, he was
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