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HOW TO TIE A SHOE FASTER THAN A YETTI. . . PAGE 10 MOOD RINGS CAUSE CANCER . . PAGE 14 T hu r s d ay, M a r c h 29, 2012

w w w.t h e rac q u e t . n e t

6 6 Pa g e s

Volume 102, No. 47

S i n g l e Co p i e s Fr e e

REC’s indoor track converted to go-kart ramp By Mario Luigi Expert Kart Report

Fantastic news for go-kart enthusiasts, appalling information for UW-La Crosse’s avid runners: the Recreational Eagle Center’s four-lane running track has been voted on to be stripped away and replaced with concrete to accommodate a brand new, state of the art go-kart raceway The deciding vote was secured by UW-L’s Chancellor (and running aficionado!) Joe Gow. “It is true that I am a passionate marathoner, so I can understand why people were shocked by my ultimate decision to install this ramp,” said the Chancellor, “but this entire idea was mine in the first place. Statistics show our esteemed university is home to way too many fit students. We need to create something that unmotivated students can do to pass the time. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned go-kart race?” Obviously, the student body is completely torn on the big

change. Regular runners are especially frazzled considering the running track is to be rebuilt… ten miles away. “Hey, I think that is the perfect location for their beloved track. Since they’re so into exercise, now they can squeeze so much extra in due to the fact they have to climb over the bluffs and run a few miles to reach it,” said Super Senior ‘Fat Sam’ Smith. A fun feature to be incorporated into the new project is ‘Wasted Wednesday’. Each Wednesday all you can drink maroon-colored cocktails will be served to students age 21 and older. After consuming at least three drinks, students will be able to race one another for the title of ‘Wasted Winner’. While this may seem fairly dangerous, the campus police assure everyone that it is, in actuality, very safe. “We will cover up the large gaping hole that overlooks the courts many feet below with tarp, so if a cart flips over the ledge, all will be A-OK,” said Officer Tommy Boy. “Plus, we here at the police station believe this is an effective means of keeping these drunk kids off the streets.” Please see RACES page 13

Desperate times call for desperate pleasures Students encouraged to get pregnant for fiscal concerns By Stacy Salmons Sexy Thang

As government officials have been debating the necessity of birth control and other safe sex instruments, UW-La Crosse administrators have been encouraging their own female students to toss those condoms and birth control pills out and take a chance! Not only does being pregnant bring a new, precious human being into this world - it provides fast cash! Wonda Dunkin, financial aid officer, has made some compelling remarks encouraging pre-marital sex. “Quite honestly, there is no better way to get free money. If students are looking to win the lottery, they might as well hop in the sack!

Pet cemetery all too close By Rik Melk pro skate

Local clairvoyant and medicine man, Rik Melk, recently brought to the attention of the higher-ups at UW-La Crosse that the new dormitory, Eagle Hall, has been built on a Pet Cemetery. The dorm is perfect, except for two things, the copious amount of animal spirits and lack of running water. Melk, whom has been active as a clairvoyant for two-plus years says, “I have been choice-homeless in this area for quite some time, and when I brought my sleeping bag and grillin’ beans for a evening’s rest in that dorm, I was kept awake all evening. The constant pitter patter of the spirit’s soft feet really urked me to my core. Needless to say, I have experienced some filthy things, and this is one of them.” Melk has had numerous encounters with the law, and is currently on probation for a fist fight which he says was over ‘squatting rights’. Don’t let that run-in with the law fool you, his vast knowledge on the subject and passion towards the subject fuel his studies. He fills his time researching, “Animals and Ghosts, sometimes the two together. Ghost animals. I have studied under the late great Steve King, and really try to exercise all his studies.” 231 & 232 Cartwright Center 1725 State Street La Crosse, WI 54601

Get wasted at Whitney Center Whitney Center to open bar in basement of popular eatery By Daisy Winterfresh Social Butterfly

It’s faster - and a lot more reliable!” Though Dunkin’s remarks have been dismissed by some, others are embracing this new advice. Sally Jane, junior, says that she “has been waiting for permission to do [my] boyfriend Jimmy for sometime... it’s like an unanswered prayer!” Though not all female students are eager to get impregnated, the monetary rewarded for college is more than enough to live on while studying in college. “One of my friends got pregnant a year ago... she said she is still living off the money they gave her in the first six months,” added Erica Urgay, freshman. So ladies, what’ll it be? Free money, nine months of pain, puking and cravings or respect, confidence and a future?


Layout plan for track to be compleated by 2013.

It’s finally happened! After weeks of debating between Student Senate and faculty Chartwells has agreed to install a bar in the Whitney Center basement. UW-La Crosse is notorious for their drinking habits, and the community believed it would be a nice fit in order to begin the movement to push students away from the downtown scene. Assistant Dean Chancellor of Student Business, Dr. Carry Away said, “It’s a great way for students to collaborate with professors, faculty, staff and other students in a social setting.” Many students cannot wait for the newly arrived bar that should be in place by the end of this spring semester. “Students are encouraged to send in submissions for the new name of the bar,” said Dr. Away. This isn’t the first time that La Crosse has made a movement for a bar on campus, and the financial gains anticipated will only help similar projects in the future. In fact, if this new project goes over as big as is anticipated,

Student, and current resident of Eagle hall, Larry Savage has also reported that nightly, since December he has heard pounding and yelping from the room next door. “I really don’t know what to do. I mean, it sounds like there is an animal being attacked, or the passing a kidney stone, but in a good way. Happy pain?” Melk’s professional advise on the situation, “dig ‘em up. It’s the only way. I mean, I have seen Pet Cemetery like 2 and a half times.”

“It’s a great way for students to collaborate with professors, faculty, staff and other students in a social setting.” Dr. Carry Away Assistant Dean Chancellor of Student Business Whitney Center bar will look to add weekly drink specials, including half-off drinks and appetizers. Away added that “UW-L is all about satisfying students. It’s obvious alcoholism is at the top of the list, so why not let them double major?” Please see BAR page 14



Rik Melk, clairvoyant, seeks truth.

Wisconsin legislators agreed March 27 to switch the state mascot and symbol to the honey badger. In order to create more awareness of the animal they are releasing 120 into the bluffs.

Word of the Week

Gullible How you must be feeling after realizing all of these stories are total B.S... Happy April Fool’s!


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Melissa Moss News Editor

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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Senate tackles green fund By Kelly Farrell Staff Reporter

After a break from politics, the Student Association jumped right back into business with several important agendas concerning the allocation of funds. The new business started out with the Resolution Approving Green Fund Referendum Language. While several student senators collaborated on this resolution, there was still much to be discussed. This resolution became a priority for factors of environmental sustainability at

UW-La Crosse. With little to no money being allocated by the state to help solve these environmental problems, a resolution is in order to properly distribute the funds. The Green Fund is responsible for making our campus more eco-friendly with energy efficient and waste reducing systems. It is proposed that the Green Fund ask each student for no more than seven dollars (an increase from the five dollars asked for last year) to help fund sustainability projects. Funded projects in the past include low flow shower heads, energy efficient LED lights, a vermicomposting system, an electric van, and outdoor recycling bins. The Green Fun. Language Resolution also requires that the fund may not exceed $120,000. The senators writing the referendum are very conscious of overflow accounts and want to keep student segregated fees as low as possible. Large projects will be categorized into another fund that cannot exceed 60%

of the total, and can only be in place for up to five years. These designated projects will receive the majority of the funds while another account will be set aside for smaller

It is proposed that the Green Fund ask each student for no more than seven dollars (an increase from the five dollars asked for last year) to help fund sustainability projects. projects. The money in the Green Fund can and will be carried over from year to year to ensure that no funds will go to waste. The resolution also states students can vote every four years on whether they want the fees to continue. This resolution was approved and

forwarded to Chancellor Joe Gow and Vice Chancellor for Administration and Finance Robert Hetzel. In other news, David Wermedal, Director of Local Affairs had a very exciting announcement for the Student Association this past week. There is a vacancy in the 5th district city council. This position is usually filled by a student representative. Any student interested in having their voice heard should look into this position. Lastly, the Resolution Approving Higher Education Award was approved giving the honorary mention was awarded to Kevin P. Reily, the UW System President. This award is given to someone who was pivotal in making positive changes to the University of Wisconsin La Crosse higher education.

Weather phenomena spread across U.S. By Nicole Laegler Staff Reporter

While some went away for Spring Break to more exotic places, many also got a dose of unseasonably warm weather without traveling very far. La Crosse gained six new record temperatures from March 11 through March 16 with temperatures ranging from 67 degrees to 83 degrees. The average temperature for this time of month ranges from 41 degrees to 45 degrees. But that’s just the start. All over the United States, the weather has been strangely abnormal. The average amount of tornadoes in the United States for January is 35, but this year there were 95 preliminary tornado reports. February, the least active tornado month, also had a similar situation with having a total of 57 preliminary reports, while the average is 29. During a tornado outbreak on Jan. 22, an EF-3 tornado produced one of two fatalities over the month and over 100 injuries. Between Feb. 28 and March 3, the Midwest took a beating with an EF-4 tornado and multiple EF-2 tornadoes. These tornadoes killed over 50 people and injured over 100 others all while damaging or destroying hundreds of homes and businesses. The most unusual part about these tornadoes is that weather that severe doesn’t usually occur until late March.

All over the United States the weather has been strangely abnormal. Colorado and Nebraska got quite a bit of snow in the beginning of February. Between Feb. 2 and 4, there was a large snowstorm that covered many cities with heavy, wet snow. Pinecliffe, Colorado

received 46 inches in a few days while the average snowfall in the month of February is 13 inches. Meanwhile in Stapleton, the average snowfall per year is roughly 33 inches and about 20 inches was dumped on the town in just a few days. That’s not all. Many western states have been having very dry winters. California had its second driest winter with 7.82 inches below the average, while Montana had its eighth driest season and

From heavy snow to heat, and from tornadoes to extra dry climate, these past few months have been very eclectic. Melissa Moss The Racquet

Oregon and Idaho had their tenth driest winter season. From heavy snow to heat, and from tornadoes to extra dry climate, these past few months have been very eclectic. However, don’t be so quick to say all of this unusual weather is caused by global warming or because doomsday is supposed to happen this year. There have been many theories as to why this is all happening. One theory is Arctic oscillation, meaning much of the arctic air has been trapped in the far north and allows warmer air to reach Canada and many states in the United States. Another theory is that there is a correlation between the temperature of the Pacific Ocean and the debris field from the Tsunami that hit Japan last March following a 9.0 magnitude earthquake. Others include North Atlantic oscillation, Atlantic oscillation, the Pacific/North American Pattern and El Niña and La Niña. Whatever it may be, it’s Hannahrose Rand The Racquet clear that the climate is rapidly changing. Students of the East side residence halls take advantage of the unseasonable nice weather on Tuesday afternoon.

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Two UW-La Crosse students are pictured having their heads shaved by St. Baldrick’s volunteers in support of cancer awareness. Donors who cut off more than eight inches of hair are supporting a project that creates wigs for cancer patients.


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Shooting on south side shocks community

Top: Police officers at the seen of the crime. Bottom: Officers block of the part of Division where crime occured.

Western Tech student shot, ruled homicide By K.C. Powers Editor-in-Chief

Student, Sara Hougom was shot and later died at Mayo Clinic in La Crosse after a shooting at a home on Division Street Monday March 26 around 4 p.m. Hougom was a 2009 graduate of West Salem high school and was currently attending Western Technical College in La Crosse part-time. Hougom had friends all around the area including UW-La Crosse, VIterbo University, and WTC. According to the La Crosse Tribune the death was ruled a homicide Tuesday March 27 after extensive investigation headed by the La Crosse police and 16 agents from the Wisconsin Department of Justice Division of Criminal Investigation. UW-L police do not believe there to be any extra danger in the area of campus or the nearly surrounding areas and remain in constant contact with the La Crosse police to notify students, faculty and staff of any safety changes. Students appear to have similar reactions, Junior at UW-L Teresa Turner remains shocked, “I’m mostly just shocked that someone was shot only a few blocks away from me. It makes me want to carry defense with me when I go out alone. It also makes me nervous that they don’t have anyone in custody.” Other students simply give condolences and hope to learn from it, “It’s extremely disheartening to hear of something so tragic

No suspects are in custody at this time.

happening to someone so young. While I have always felt extremely safe on campus and in the community, this incident makes you second guess those feelings a bit. However, in the hands of the University Police, the La Crosse Police, and the UW-L administration, I know that our campus will remain a safe place for students to learn and grow. My heart goes out to all those affected by this. Things like this really make you realize that life is so short, and it always reminds me to live each day as if it were my last,” said Senior at UW-L Hannah Henderson. The article located on the Tribune website is filled with comments of concern of the future of the city of La Crosse and many wonder whether it’s a safe city still. UW-L Junior Dave Dull isn’t concern, “I drive around at night without fear of being carjacked and I walk around at night without fear of being mugged. Severely bad things happen but they exist as anomalies for the most part. So no. I still believe it’s a safe city.”

Anyone with any possible relevant information is to call La Crosse police at 608-785-5962 or the local La Crosse Crime Stoppers at 608-784-8477. Courtesy Jared Ponce

Candidate for recall elections visits UW-L By Kelly Farrell Staff Reporter

Kathleen Vinehout visited UW-La Crosse on Friday March 23rd to continue her strides for her campaign as governor of our great state of Wisconsin! Vinehout identifies as a strong independent, able to attack our bipartisan system from both sides. “check your egos and hats [your affiliated organization] at the door, and let’s talk solutions.” Vinehout started out as a nurses aid, then moved to be a professor, and after spending 10 years milking cows on a dairy farm gained a new perspective that inspired her to become a state legislature. Now, she is determined to continue her dream for change as she runs for her spot as Governor of Wisconsin.

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Vinehout believes in creating a vision of prosperity for everyone. However, her plan for Wisconsin for the fiscal year leaves much to the imagination. Vinehout argues that the deep budget cuts were unnecessary for wisconsin, as governor walker didn’t make over 500 million in payments for our state’s debt, which is why our debt isn’t paid. Vinehout points out flaws in Governor Walker’s financial actions, as he proposed the largest extension on debt payments in history of Wisconsin. However, Vinehout fails to mention the reasons behind Governor Walker’s actions. In order to protect the middle class workers from the monetary consequences of our state’s debt, an extension had to be proposed. Also, had previous the debt would not have escalated to this large amount. As a university in the the UW system, we are all aware of the competition Wisconsin has with

our bordering state of Minnesota. Superiority in football however is one of the few things we have them beat on. Vinehout is passionate about her priority to beat MInnesota in higher education. While Minnesota has 32% of its population holding a bachelor’s degree, Wisconsin is lagging behind with a mere 26%. While the constant reminder of bordering state competition is great for football, it doesn’t exactly create credibility in politics. Vinehout also talks about being a leader that creates openness in government. Instead of saying “open for business it should say open for everyone.” Vinehout proclaims that she will govern with self restraint, listen to the people and the will of the people. The primary elections are held May 8th, and the general elections follow that on June 5th, 2012.

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The Racquet 231 & 232 Cartwright Center 1725 State Street La Crosse, WI 54601 The Racquet is an Award-Winning Newspaper, achieving the Third Award for Best Editorial in 2010 and Second Award for Best Advertisement in 2009 through the Wisconsin Newspaper Association Foundation . The Racquet is a student-produced weekly newspaper distributed for the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. The editorial staff assumes full responsibility for content and policies. The Racquet values accuracy and will publish corrections if necessary; please send them to Deadline for article submission is Friday by noon.



Caleb Brown Viewpoint Editor

.NeT primaries just Don’t get stuck inside Republican business as usual

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Thursday, March 29, 2012

By Ashley Reynolds Staff Reporter

As all of us are aware, it is finally spring! That means shorts, flip-flops, outdoor volleyball and…outside classes? We have all seen the typical college brochure that almost always advertises a class being held outside where the students are all sitting in a circle: smiling and laughing at each other. This all looks like great fun, but is it a realistic and productive way to conduct class?

“I felt like I was actually learning stuff instead of just seeing pictures.” Missy Curler UW-L Student

Some people think that having class outside is a great idea, I mean why wouldn’t it be? Sitting in the grass, soaking up some sun and enjoying this wonderful weather. But does any actual learning go on? “I had class outside once and I loved it, I thought it was absolutely awesome. I didn’t really feel like there were many distractions. It was actually my Biology professors idea and I felt like I was actually learning stuff instead of just seeing pictures,” says Missy Curler, a Student here at UW-La Crosse. This kind of outside class can be fairly beneficial for some classes, such as Biology courses, where the topic you are studying actually lives and thrives outdoors. What about classes such as Math or History where so much of what we learn is presented on white boards and projectors? “I don’t think I have any classes that would work well outside because we wouldn’t have the right materials for properly teaching the class, but if I had a

class that was more of a discussion type class, I think it would be fun and a nice change from sitting in a classroom,” says Emily Groh. It makes sense that so many teachers don’t appreciate the idea of conducting class outside. There are too many distractions or it’s not the right space for a that class to be productive, but I agree with Emily. The classes that are based on discussion could easily be held outside. In fact, maybe if these types of classes would be held outside more often, the students would be more inclined to pay attention because they would not be preoccupied with thoughts of enjoying the weather. So, with that last thought in mind, those of you in discussion based classes should try convincing your teachers to

“I don’t think I have any classes that would work well outside because we wouldn’t have the right materials fot properly teaching the class.” Emily Groh UW-L Student have class outside! What can it hurt? Unfortunately, even if we are lucky enough to convince one teacher to hold class outside, most of our classes will be held inside for the remainder of the year. But don’t be too distraught by this! I’m sure many of you have noticed the vast number of students studying and doing homework outside, maybe you have even been one of them. That is a great way to get outside as much as possible and avoid being trapped inside like we all have been for the past few months. So, whether in class or in your free time, we all should find time to enjoy this early, and surprisingly warm, spring by getting outside!

By Olivia Mercer Senior Reporter

This is probably the hardest article I’ve had to write thus far. Why? Because it’s about one of the most difficult subjects to talk about….politics. In particular, the Republican primaries. At this point, Mitt Romney seems to be the front runner. However, there is yet no consensus within the Republican arty, or even with independent voters as to who they would choose to run against President Obama this fall. It is also noteworthy to say that candidates such as Ron Paul, a twelve term allegedly straight shooter from the lone star state are not getting a whole lot of press across the board. If you take a look at any major news network, he seems to be little more than a blip on the radar. On the flip side, former senator Rick Santorum, as well as former Speaker Newt Gingrich seem to be getting more attention for their controversial statements, as opposed to their proposed policies for how to change Washington. As for our current Commander in Chief? It would seem that he is the unfair target of public scrutiny that is viewed through the eye of racial bias, rather than the content of his character. I personally think the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. would have preferred the latter. This is not to say that there should be no public discourse or free speech about the trouble behind the beltway, or the different views about different pieces of legislation, but if there must be conversations let them be about the issues themselves and not personal attacks on either the President or those who would paint themselves as the contender who is ready to challenge

Agree to disagree

By Robert Gaunky Staff Reporter

It is 2012- the 21st century. While this seems rather obvious, it is important to acknowledge before I fire off this second word: abstinence. Yes, I am referring to act of refraining from sexual activities 100%. Before our time, this was the number #1 way to avoid pregnancy. And even still, based on the effectiveness of other birth control methods, abstinence is still the only way to 100% avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Being the 21st century, abstinence has a strong tendency to be overshadowed by other birth control methods. Although many of you college students and much of our general population will argue that birth control is innovative and necessary, there is still a portion of individuals who believe very differently. Recently, President Obama furthered the potential policy that would require all health insurance companies to cover the cost of contraceptives. The new potential requirement would also apply to Roman Catholic hospitals, universities, and any social services that insure themselves. This means, matter-of-factly, all women would receive free coverage of contraceptives. Many religiously

The staff editorials contian the oppinions of the editorial staff only and do not represent the views of the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. To advertise with The Racquet, please contact In order to place any type of ad, it is necessary to have the literature pre-approved. The Racquet does not condone advertisements placed in our publication. For general inquiries, contact Single copies are free to members of the UW-La Crosse, WTC, and Viterbo campus communities. Multiple copies can be acquired from The Racquet at a price to be determined by the publisher by contacting the Racquet business office. Newspaper theft is a crime and is subject to civil and criminal prosecution and/or university discipline.


affiliated organizations have objected due to religious beliefs and asked that the policy accommodate their wants and beliefs. Although Obama kindly respects their point of view, he quickly disregarded it. The White House said, according to a recent article in the New York Times, that in those cases the insurer “will be required to provide contraceptives coverage to women free of charge.” Due to the disagreement by religious groups, Washington and the Department of Health and Human Services continues

Recently, President Obama furtherd the potential policy that would require all health insurance companies to cover the cost of contraceptives. to try and make adjustments. Nebraska’s Republican representative, however, Jeff Fortenberry “introduced a bill to let certain employers and insurers opt out of the mandate for contraceptive coverage. More than 220 House members have signed on as cosponsors.” This new proposal by Fortenberry almost guarantees a never ending disagreement. Opinions on this new policy vary in. There are many individuals and

religious affiliations that disagree will the policy offered by Washington. There are also many people who wholeheartedly agree. I, personally, happen to be in relative agreement. That does not mean that I am not a little skeptical. Contraceptives, whether it be condoms or the pill, in this day and age are relied heavily upon. So heavily that the idea of abstinence has nearly left society’s vocabulary. I feel like it would be very beneficial for health insurances to cover contraceptives- even just a portion of the cost. Due to the rising numbers of teen and unwanted pregnancies, it is crucial that society’s approach upon sex needs to changeand fast. While abstinence is still the most effective way to prevent pregnancy, it is not plausible to expect individuals to abide by that idea. Instead, I believe we should be educating those on safe sex and proper contraceptives to use if one does want to participate in sexual activities. To me, having younger generations educated on precautions and consequences is a better route to take than only pleading for abstinence. Because of the growing usage of contraceptives, I feel that this policy would benefit America. I am skeptical, though, about how we plan to access extra money to afford to offer free contraceptives. Although Washington does have some ideas

him for America’s highest public office. There’s an ancient teaching that states, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Now, I’m not suggesting an idealistic view of having every politician sitting around a campfire singing “Kumbaya”. However, it would be nice if this current contest for the presidency, as well as other pending elections, was filled with more civil exchanges of ideas rather than the mudslinging that most people appear to be tired of. Like I said, this is a touchy subject. In honoring my own personal view of full disclosure, let it be known that I myself am a raging independent voter. This means that would be nice if this current contest for the presidency, as well as other pending elections, was filled with more civil exchanges of ideas... I don’t ascribe to any one political ideology when it comes to various crucial issues (i.e. abortion, capital punishment, immigration, etc.), but rather look at both sides, both views, and then make a choice. As I wrote in one of my last article, “I can only be responsible for my own choices.” So to my fellow students, all I can say is that we each have our choices,convictions when it comes to this election year. I only ask that everyone be willing to have conversations where we can agree to disagree on different issues and candidates without getting angry or resentful towards each other.

behind payment, nothing has been locked in place, which worries me. In addition, the future of Options Clinics and Planned Parenthood worry me. Those clinics are all across the United States and have been able to provide free contraceptives to those without an income or health insurance. If and when this new policy is passed, there is great potential for the use

Opinions on this new policy vary. There are many individuals and religious affiliations that disagree with the policy offered by Washingotn. of those clinics to vastly decline. Regardless of my opinion, however, I encourage you all to become educated on this new pressing topic in politics currently. Not only is it important that we college students begin formulating decisions that can impact our lives, but this debate has potential to play a large role in the 2012 election. Being that this topic is new and debated, most major news websites and papers will have some sort of coverage on it, so stumbling upon information will be nothing short of easy.



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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Don’t stress over scheduling By Olivia Mercer Senior Reporter

I just received an email that issued me my fall registration date for classes. This feels rather early to begin thinking about next semester to me. However, it is vital that us students begin planning out schedules even have two or three backups, just in case. Many of you, including myself, completely and utterly dread the scheduling time of year, for it is undoubtedly one of the most stressful times of the semester.

While each of us will undoubtedly face a traumatic scheduling conflisct at some point throughout our college career it is vital that we develop efficient ways to avoid those moments- at all costs. For those of you who are going to be seniors, the scheduling idea to you may seem less than stressful because you all have the first scheduling dates that better enable you to get your first picks of classes. But for many of us, still scavenging for classes with our peers, this time of the year is one of the worst. My editor encouraged me to explore the idea of scheduling classes either in person or by paper. Years back, UW-La Crosse actually did all scheduling by paper. A coworker of mine at the Holiday Inn, Kelsey Szudy, who graduated a few years ago can remember the time when everything had to be done via paper and not online. That, she said, “made things much more difficult than being able to do everything online.” And she believes “you all have it much easier now.” Computers definitely have the ability to make our lives much easier because it allows many students to access it simultaneously and to make changes as many times as we’d like. It also allows us students to make changes at all hours of the night and from anywhere we want, as long as there is internet access. Another aspect of scheduling that makes us students’ lives so much more difficult and stressful is the act of overriding into a class and getting on the wait list. This,

often times, is done in person. When an individual is trying to get an override into the class, initially most people email that particular professor and inquire about their ability to get one, if there is any ability at all. From there, many times students will then visit that professor in their office to further inquire about the class or complete the override process. The other option that some classes offer is a wait list. From personal experience, I had to visit an office and fill out paperwork in order to join the wait list. None of it was done online. Between the override and the wait list procedures, a student’s reliability upon technology and the use of the internet to register for classes becomes threatened- thus, significantly more stress is created causing students to misinterpret how they should act within the situation.

“[scheduling by paper] made things much more difficult than being able to do everything online. You all have it much easier now.” Kelsey Szudy UW-L Alumni This is why we have the tremendous individuals whose jobs are to help us students schedule classes- advisors. I encourage you all to utilize these individuals when deciding what classes to take and when. While we as college students like to pretend we are all knowing, our advisors may have very different, and often times better, routes of scheduling. Scheduling, understandably, happens to be one of the most stressful times of each semester. While each of us will undoubtedly face a “traumatic” scheduling conflict at some point throughout our college career, it is vital that we develop efficient ways to avoid those moments- at all costs. Creating alternate schedules, shopping for classes early, and utilizing our advisors are all excellent tactics designed to make our lives less stressful. While conflicts are unavoidable at times, appreciate the ease the internet has allowed. There was once a time when scheduling was done by hand, on paper, and required an appointment.

YOUR OPINION Hey Eagles, We want to know what you think! Given the recent shootings, do you feel safe in La Crosse? take the pole @




Page 5


Kelli Ponce Student

Recently, the USDA replaced the food pyramid with the food plate and updated the dietary guidelines. However, the government has provided little to no nutritional credibility in their recommendations on the food we should be eating. Instead, those regulating the food industry are dictating and shaping the way America eats based strictly off of how they can make the most capital. I am convinced that the government does not have our best interest in mind when deciding what is considered to be healthy and nutritional. I think it is important that people are aware that the USDA’s food plate is a conspiracy that only increases the industry’s wealth. The Primal Blueprint, a book written by Mark Sisson, discusses the typical American diet and how it is making us fat through the epic amounts of grains in our diet. If you think back to the days of primal human beings and the simplicity of life, you may recall the difference in longevity, infrequency of disease and contrast in brain size. It has taken decades for people to question the American diet, but here we have it; grains are slowly killing us. In order to get the most out of our bodies, it is important that we are aware and curious about the foods we consume. Grains, GMOs, dairy and even some fruits are not recommended, as credible sources (doctors and nutritionist) have found links between diabetes, heart disease, cancer, bowel disease, autoimmune disease and many more. The USDA is manipulating the greater population to advance economically. As citizens of the U.S., we need to use our rights beneficially by channeling our primal nature and listening to what our bodies recommend, which is to eat vegetables and meats. The processed foods, refined grains, dairy products and even some fruits have harmful effects on

our bodies that we may not see right away, but definitely will in the long term. Maybe it is time we begin to think for ourselves instead of allowing the government to influence our choice of making a healthy dinner, or cruising through the McDonald’s drive-thru.

Emily Bero Student

How would you like to participate in something that is rewarding and that sets you apart as an accomplished University of Wisconsin-La Crosse (UW-L) student? Tutoring first through third graders at local grade schools will set you apart and add substance to your college career. Tutoring will distinguish you as a unique and achieved individual to future employers. By observing and working with the kids, you will learn to understand anther’s perspective. Tutoring will allow you to appreciate unique qualities in individuals, improve communication skills, and adapt to new environments. It’s a great way to expand your studies beyond school, benefitting the tutees as well. The kids commonly look up to college students so your enthusiasm towards homework and reading will generate a positive attitude from him or her. The UW-L Pre-College Mentoring and Readiness for College (MARC) Programs can help you get started. To get involved in or learn more about the numerous programs offered, you can stop Monday through Friday at the Office of Multicultural Student Services in 1101 Centennial Hall. The staff will find a program that accommodates your schedule, even if you have limited time availability. Tutoring with the MARC programs is immensely gratifying and beneficial. Now that you have the resources, lend a hand.

Off the Record... I know we all have been enjoying the nice weather. It sure feels like summer to me! But Monday gave us a reality check. Its only March and lets not forget that we live in Wisconsin. With the way people acted when it got below 50 I wonder what they are going to do next winter. -OTRThe clock tower strikes 10…as my 11 o’clock Communications class begins. Even though the clock tower reads 11, it still chimes 10. It bothers me to no end that someone has changed the time on the clock

The UW-L no spin zone, brought to you by The Racquet’s editors

tower for daylight savings time, but has neglected to change the chimes. Maybe it is not the fault of the clock setter, but the fault of the clock itself? After all, isn’t a clock supposed to chime based on where the hands are on the face? I’m no clock expert, but I’m pretty sure there is a way to fix this problem. Please, for the sake of my sanity, someone change the chimes. Thanks. -OTRWith the recent death of 20 year old Sara Hougom I think it’s all time we stop and take a look around.

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School is getting more stressful as the end of the semester approaches, long hours are coming in at work, and we’re stressed out about graduation. We need to account for all the good things we have going in our lives and not the negative. Failed that Econ exam? Who cares? You’re alive and well and small things like this will pass. You’ll get to a point where you won’t remember that exam but you’ll remember your closest loved ones and how you took advantage of your college experience. Live it up. Life is short and unpredictable.

Arts Ect.

Page 6

Album review: Giant Orange by Cheap Girls By Zak Kaszynski Staff Reporter

Maybe the band Cheap Girls require a bit of an introduction. Their music is head-bopping, hard rocking, gritty enough to make you smile and polished enough to play on the radio. This three-piece group hails from the other side of Lake Michigan, in Lansing. Up until this release, which features Against Me!’s vocalist/guitarist Tom Gabel as producer, all songs were written by lead vocalist/bassist Ian Graham with a conversationesque lyrical style set to lovably quirky melodies. These are the kinds of songs you’re glad to get stuck in your head. Giant Orange is the Cheap Girls’ first release on Rise Records and delivers 10 tracks of searing guitar licks, driving bass lines and punchy drum grooves delivering Ian Graham’s usually catchy vocals along with harmonies highlighting the most sing-along friendly lyrics. From the moment the needle drops, the group drives the music like a windows-down, blue sky and sunglasses road trip, stopping at “Cored to Empty” for a refreshing heart-to-heart with Graham alongside some cool brook and hopping back onto the highway, getting to the broad plains of “Pacer” and arriving at the closer still cruising just above the speed limit. And forgive me if I drove that metaphor into the ground. The songs themselves are an interesting blend of selfquestioning and messagedelivering set over unwaveringly assertive rock ‘n’ roll (that is, except the delicately exposed “Cored to Empty”). Graham takes up the messy issue of one’s self throughout most of the album with allusions to hitting bottom, getting thrown around and feeling broken in general. And perhaps he’s getting a little frustrated, as “Mercy-Go‘Round” and “On/Off Switches”

both suggest the numbing back and forth of it all. Although Cheap Girls may not claim this as a concept album, the themes have a way of building up to “Pacer” where Graham portraits himself pacing hallways late into the night, feeling as if his head was a tangled mess of melted wires the just “doesn’t want to get… together.” These lines, with ethereal vocal treatment, more of a spacious mix and a dynamic breakdown cueing the outro, suggest that perhaps the trialand-error mentality his lyrics suggest is wearing him down. In closing, he regrets that it’s not until the end that he finds the ‘right’ way of doing things. But still, as the record reveals, the Cheap Girls have got the music right and that rocks. This album is both party-ready and deserves close listening. It’s great to jog to, easy to play along with (the chords are intentionally simple, as if the band was begging you to cover their power chord Polaroid rock), and perfect for unabashed car-speaker blasting as you cruise down West Ave. on a sunny afternoon. Born in

Get It Here: $12+S&H Fun Song To Learn: “Cored to Empty” Awesome-ness Rating: 10 out of 10 tracks of greatness.

Michigan and mixed/mastered in Madison, it’s a Midwest Masterpiece and easily worth the two-hour shift you’d have to work to buy it. And by the way, these guys are fantastic to see live.

z.morin. bathroom.2011. 4.2x3.5”. instant film. pathway. Untitled. Bird.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Khay Alwaissi Sports Editor

Sports Page 7

Thursday, March 29 , 2012

Flynn hits the Coast By Greg Nickel Associate Reporter

Back-up quarterbacks of Packer’s past have generally been given a chance to be successful as starters in the NFL. Matt Hasselbeck, Mark Brunell, Ty Detmer, and Kurt Warner are the most notable of soonto-be starters that passed through Green Bay in a back-up role to Brett Favre. Matt Flynn may be the next name we add to this list. On March 18th Flynn inked his name on a 3 year contract worth $26 million with the Seattle Seahawks, $10 million of which is guaranteed. Now, there seems to be a general consensus among Packer fans, they want to see Matt Flynn be successful. And why wouldn’t they? He gave Green Bay an amazing start in December of 2010 against the great Patriots, where he almost led the Packers to an unprecedented win. More recently, he broke franchise single-game records for passing yards and touchdowns against the Lions in week 17 of 2011. But that’s only two starts, and the low number of starts shouldn’t be Flynn’s only worry. Seattle isn’t right for Matt Flynn for a couple reasons. Having only two career starts, Flynn has a lot to learn about playing quarterback in the NFL, and while he may have picked up quite a bit from Aaron Rodgers, he will be going into a new offense and atmosphere in Seattle, not inheriting his current team

(much like Rodgers did). Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll is still unproven in his second stint in the NFL. Sometimes coupling these young coaches with young quarterbacks can work (i.e. Mike Smith and Matt Ryan in Atlanta; John Harbaugh and Joe Flacco in Baltimore). But Carroll has largely been a defensive coach during his time in the NFL, and had only been a head coach for one season prior to joining Seattle (with the NY Jets in ‘94 who went 6-10). And while Seattle made the playoffs two years ago under Carroll, they were the first 7-9 team to do so. Flynn should be the happiest man in Seattle because the team decided to re-sign star running back Marshawn Lynch. He doesn’t have a lot of other talent surrounding him. The wide receiving core is a group of nameless and unproven young guys (aside from Sidney Rice). He doesn’t have a great tight end to speak of and their offensive line allowed 50 sacks in 2011, which is less than stellar for a young quarterback. If Flynn has one thing going for him in Seattle, it’s that his offensive coordinator will be Darrell Bevell, who was Brett Favre’s quarterback coach in Green Bay and Minnesota, and will undoubtedly bring some of the same schemes to Seattle that he used in Green Bay. While Matt Flynn clearly has the physical tools to play quarterback in the NFL, and has shown he can make good decisions on the field, young quarterbacks can be delicate. It

The Big Dance is underway

“Bracketology” brings new fans to NCAA men’s basketball By Jonny Brennan Staff Reporter


Matt Flynn, former Packer back-up quaterback, signs with Seattle.

would benefit Flynn and Seattle if the team would draft to help him on that side of the ball. Otherwise, he could easily relapse into a pool of anonymity: the pool of back-ups in the NFL.

Player profile: Jeremiah Burish By Allen Knappenberger Staff Reporter

Jeremiah Burish, a senior and pole vaulter for the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse’s Men’s Track and Field Team, bleeds maroon and gray. He has been a four-year competitor on the team and has accomplished many feats that most do not get to see. As the Men’s Track and Field team heads into the outdoor season, Burish has nothing but positives to say about the season thus far.

As the Men’s Track and Field tem heads into the outdoor season, Burish has nothing but positives to say about the season thus far. “The season has gone pretty well. The team captured its 11th consecutive Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference (WIAC) title and we had a good number of qualifiers for Indoor Nationals. We fell a bit short on most of our goals as a team, including bringing home a National Championship trophy. So our pride is a little hurt and we are really looking forward to redeeming ourselves for outdoor,” said Burish. The team may not have been able to accomplish everything they wanted to for the indoor season, but Burish found one thing to be the cherry on top of his final season. “Definitely bringing home the 11th consecutive WIAC Championship title for indoor, especially because we had a large amount of injuries that sidelined several of our big names. It was awesome to watch the younger class-men step up when it mattered and throw down to win that title.” It’s a thing of beauty to witness younger athletes helping the team out in big ways

and with these men who knew how to step up when it counted, the outdoor season looks to be an interesting one. The biggest accomplishment to bring home for outdoors would be something every team wants. Burish “To bring home a gold trophy from Nationals,” said Burish. “It’s been far too long since it has been back in La Crosse, where it belongs. I really look forward to the vault crew being a huge contributor to the points that we will accrue at the National meet since we had three qualify last season that are back to do work!” Burish is in high spirits and ready to attack the outdoor season in his event. The question is what makes one want to pole vault and continue it through their college career? “Vaulting is a sport, not just an event in track and field,” said Burish. “Once you do it, you never want to stop. It will be a sad day when the year finishes and my career will be finished.” With four years of track under his belt, Burish has only one thing that he would like at the end of the season: “A Championship ring that will clang with my teammates’ rings when we shake hands every time we get together in the many years to come.” With the hopes and aspirations to finish his career on a strong note, one may wonder who Burish is as a person and what he enjoys outside of track and field. The answer is just about anything you can think of. “I love to bow hunt and fish. It’s nice to get in the woods or on the river and get away from the hectic days of school and track and just relax once in a while,” said Burish. A true Wisconsinite who loves to hunt and fish, but all that relaxing can work up

an appetite. Burish has one restaurant in La Crosse that he absolutely loves to go to. “Buzzard Billy’s! What dish don’t I like there? The food is incredible from the appetizers and gator to the blackened chicken, shrimp, crawfish and po’boys. Best food in La Crosse hands down, but I make sure to work out a little harder the next day to work off some of the deliciousness,” said Burish with a little chuckle at the end. As one can see, Burish is more than just an athlete. He’s just a college student who loves to relax and eat some good food between his studies. He has taken a lot from being at La Crosse and wants to share what the best thing is that has happened to him while being here. “Making relationships with people that I will never forget and never lose contact with. A lot of my friends will be in my wedding someday and the rest will be crashing the reception and I couldn’t ask for it any other way.”

“Making relationships with people that I will never forget and never lose contact with. A lot of my friends will be in my wedding someday and the rest will be crashing the reception and I couldn’t ask for it any other way.” Jeremiah Burish UW-L Student This statement may ring true for a lot of seniors that will be graduating this May, but any incoming freshman that may want to try out for the track team, Burish had one last piece of advice for them. “Expect greatness, strive for perfection, triumph adversity and beware of THE BEAR!”

‘March Madness’, ‘The Big Dance’, call it what you want, the 2012 NCAA Men’s National Basketball tournament is well underway. This year, no different from years past is one of cheers, tears, and big upsets. Beginning on March 13th this year’s tournament has 64 of the top teams from all around the nation vying to become the next NCAA Div. I national champion. There are many things that attract our nation to this tournament, the competition, the loyalty to school, the upsets, and of course the brackets. “Bracketology”; a term coined by ESPN analyst Joe Lunardi, describes the science that goes into putting together the perfect championship bracket. Experienced “bracketeers” have the ability to choose the correct upsets and wins based off of team dynamics, match-ups, and previous play. Friends and rivals all around the United States began days in advance preparing their brackets in hopes that the teams they select to advance throughout the tournament do so, constantly checking stats and reports to see who beat who during the season, who is a sleeper team waiting to explode, and what team can be tough enough to survive the month long grind that is “The Big Dance”. However, bracket building is not only for the ones who follow college basketball closely.

“Bracketology”; a term coined by ESPN analyst Joe Lunardi, describes the science that goes into putting together the perfect championship bracket. March madness “bracketology” gives people who normally aren’t as in-tuned with the ins and outs of Div. I men’s basketball a chance to learn more about the sport and develop likes and dislikes of their own. Senior exercise and sports major Bobby Dorn says he is one of these people, “I don’t watch basketball very much, but I always make a bracket because it gives me a reason and a team to cheer for. I love it when the underdogs I pick come though and beat big name teams.” Dorn, like the rest of us, have gotten their share of upsets this tournament, including watching number 2 Duke get beat 75-70 by the 15th seed Lehigh Mountain Hawks and the number 3 seed Missouri Tigers get shocked by 15th seed Norfolk State 86-84. Both of these games occurred in the first round. So, now after another gut-wrenching night which saw a number 1 seed nearly upset (Syracuse) and a number 2 seed heading home empty handed (Michigan State), we watch as the final few teams duke (no pun intended) it out for the last two spots in the illustrious elite eight. Then it is on to the final four, and finally the national championship which takes place April 2nd at 9:00 p.m. As the tournament begins to thin out keeps your eyes glued to the w and computer because these last few days of March madness are sure to bring a highlight reel of intense action and emotion.

The Eagle Agenda Date

3/31 3/31 4/1 4/2


Women’s Tennis Baseball Baseball SoftBall


vs Southwest Minnesota State University vs UW-Platteville vs UW-Platteville vs Gustavus Adolphus College (Minn.) (DH)

Winona, MN La Crosse, WI La Crosse, WI La Crosse, WI



5 p.m. Noon Noon 3 p.m.

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Thursday, March 29, 2012

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