FRIDAY 1ST MARCH
ISSUE 141 U N I V E R S I T Y
E S S E X ’ S
S T U D E N T
N E W S PA P E R
CULTURE MUSIC FILM TV BOOKS PUZZLES COMMENT
Do People have the right to censorship?
You can’t spell “novelty” without the “novel”
The Failures of Scientists Past and Present
Essex Dance Jeté To Victory
Israeli Protest comes under scrutiny by University and world media
Israeli protest sparks controversy FULL STORY ON P2
News Editorial Greg Bailey As I am sure by now most of you would be aware of the recent protests against the Deputy Israeli Ambassador for Britain who was due to give a lecture. Mr Alon RothSnir’s visit was cut short due to the actions of a number of protestors. Though I cannot condone Israel’s behaviour and their treatment of the Palestinian people I feel the protest went from making a point to counterproductive. Investigations have now begun and some are saying this has damaged the reputation of British Academia. We live in a democratic society where opposing parties deserve to have an opportunity to state their case. If this cannot occur in an institute of learning what does this say about us? The visit was this was an ample opportunity to gain insight into a controversial conflict that has lasted over 45 years and taken many lives on both sides. It is safe to say whatever side you stand on, neither wants the continuation of bloodshed for the next generation and generation after that. The only way of for progression to occur is to discuss the issues and work out the best way forward. This may sound naïve but in an argument shouting louder than the other person does not constitute as a win.
Contact Us: Editor: Greg Bailey firstname.lastname@example.org Deputy Editor: Rachel McGrath email@example.com Head Designer: Ali Shah firstname.lastname@example.org
Students Protest at arrival of Israel Deputy Ambassador SU Organised Protests See Israeli Ambassador Talk Abandoned On Wednesday 20 February, Deputy Israeli Ambassador Mr Alon Roth-Snir was due to hold a lecture on the Middle East for a group from the Government Department. The ambassador was set to talk to selected students, based on the modules being completed as part of their courses. However protests organised by the Students’ Union saw the talk forced to be abandoned after just ten minutes. Students disrupted the meeting, staging a protest outside and banging on the windows. Nathan Bolton, Students’ Union President, has claimed the protest had over 200 attendees, despite only being organised two days previously. However, other reports suggest numbers were lower. Both the Students’ Union and the Socialist Workers’ Student Society (SWSS) called upon students to assemble in Square 3 at 12.30pm, with Bolton posting on the facebook protest page: “The call has been made for students to bring pots, pans, whistles and sirens to make the opposition to this invitation clear to all!”
A statement from the University confirmed that the protests succeeded in disrupting the event, to the point where it was then cancelled. “The event did not follow the original program because of disruption caused by students protesting, It is disappointing that some students prevented those wishing to engage in this way from being able to do so more fully.”
Nathan Bolton, Students’ Union President, has claimed the protest had over 200 attendees The invitation to the Ambassador had been met with opposition as soon as it was announced he had been scheduled to speak, with Nathan Bolton releasing a statement to assert the Students’ Union’s position on the matter. “The University of Essex Students’ Union opposes unequivocally the Department of Government’s move to invite the Deputy Israeli Ambassador, Mr Alon
Roth-Snir,” wrote Bolton. “Israel in its complete disregard of the human rights of the Palestinians and in its illegal occupation of Gaza and the West Bank is in breach of over 30 UN resolutions. Palestinians living within Israel proper and the Occupied Territories are treated as second-class citizens with no equal rights, confirming that Israel is not a democratic state for its entire people. To therefore invite a representative of such a state to the University beggars belief.” The SWSS supported this, releasing their own statement. “We believe that such an invitation not only violates the policy of our Student’s Union and the tradition of our University, but more importantly represents an attack to the Palestinian cause.” University officials relocated the group, allowing the lecture to continue in a small side room before being abandoned entirely due to disruptions, with the Ambassador being escorted off campus by security. Eleanor Brimelow, International News Editor
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH| ISSUE 141
Not all in favour of protests Both before and after the protests took place, a number of students raised questions as to whether staging a sitin outside the LTB was the right way to approach the matter. After suggestions that protesters took things too far and were in violation of both university and SU regulations, further discussion over the protestors’ actions took place. An event page on facebook, created by the SU to promote the protests, disabled the ability to post “because of the nature of the comments” being made.
The protests also attracted large amounts of attention from international press, with the immediacy of the internet meaning many comments were made on the days’ events as well as how the university and SU would both react to criticisms.
President of the Model UN Society, Morten Munch Jespersen commented via social networking: “So disappointed about what happened with the Israeli Deputy Ambassador today. It's depressing that the opportunity to express the strong arguments against Israel's policies was lost, and all that the Deputy Ambassador was left with was the impression of a student body that resorts to shouting, pushing and closing their ears, rather than using sensible argument, constructive dialogue and critical opposition.”
Eleanor Brimelow & Rachel McGrath
“Great action against the Deputy Ambassador of Israel from @Uni_of_Essex students. Solidarity with the people of Palestine. No To Apartheid!”
Keir Waller “Nice to see that an inquiry is going into the protest incident. One thing is to have our voice heard, another is to be threatening and to shout louder than anyone in order to win an argument.”
Ollie Mattock @olliewm “@brucehalling there’s a difference between learning about regimes and providing a platform for these regimes. That’s the key distinction.”
Eddie Bingham @TheFlidMeister Uni protest yesterday stopped an Israeli ambassador giving a talk. You can’t violate a man’s rights because his country does so.#Essex
Vice-Chancellor: Actions of some went beyond legitimate protest
Comment: An Open Letter To Nathan Bolton I listened to the short speech you gave at the demonstration against the, as you put it, ‘Israeli Apartheid regime’ and its representative, the Israeli Deputy Ambassador. In this speech, you bragged about our Student Union having banned Israeli products from its outlets for several years in order to show solidarity with the Palestinian cause. There are many aspects of Israeli policy that I strongly oppose, nevertheless, I do absolutely not agree that Israel is an ‘Apartheid regime’ neither do I believe a boycott of Israeli product is appropriate. Of course, this is not the place to discuss historical and political facts at length, so let us, for now, assume that there was a point in boycotting Israeli products. Then, I need to ask a few questions:
Neil Bamber @Neil_Bamber
Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet, a writer based in the UK, tweeted that the University “should hang its head in shame for deplorable treatment of Israel deputy Ambassador [sic] today.” An Israeli embassy spokesman said: “These students make a mockery of the very foundations of freedom of speech, a pillar of the academic world. Their actions shame Essex University and British academia, and damage a long tradition of positive academic exchange.”
· Did the SU at least discuss banning French and Italian products when their governments expelled Romani even though they held European Union member states’ passports?
members of the opposition in general? · Did the SU ban Chinese products to protest against China’s occupation of Tibet?
· Did the SU ban products made in the United States to protest against the imprisonment of suspected terrorists without trial and the Obama administration’s policy of targeted killing?
Unless you are able to reply ‘yes’ to all of these questions, which are just four out of many more questions I have, let me ask you this final question: Do you really think that protesting against ‘Apartheid’ by applying a double standard is the right thing to do?
· Did the SU ban Russian goods to condemn the Russian government’s treatment of minorities such as Chechen Muslims, homosexuals or
Anthony Foster has released a statement outlining the university's position on the events of the protest. In it he confirms that action willbe taken against any students seen to breach regulations, adding that it is "not just a matter of legal obligation, it is a matter of conviction". "The Registrar and Secretary has formally notified me that the actions of some of our community went entirely beyond legitimate protest and led to the event being curtailed. In accordance with our procedures the Proctor, Jessie Mallinson, will commence an investigation into potential breaches of the University’s Disciplinary Regulations and our Code of Practice on Freedom of Speech, and the Registrar and Secretary has requested the Students’ Union considers whether any actions have breached the Union’s Code of Conduct. "At the very heart of our values and what we stand for as an academic institution is that we are committed to academic freedom and freedom of expression within the law. Whatever the outcome of the investigations that now follow, as ViceChancellor, I want to re-affirm the University’s commitment to these values." Rachel McGrath
UPLIFTING QUOTES "You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." Dr Seuss
"Two things are infinite:the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe" Albert Einstein
"Life is a tragedy when seen in closeup, but a comedy in long-shot"
Essex tutor celebrates Oscar win Experienced film and television producer and executive producer Sheryl Crown, who is also a screenwriting tutor at the Department for Literature, Film, and Theatre Studies, is celebrating after the documentary film she worked on as executive producer Searching for Sugar Man secured an Oscar. The documentary film Searching for Sugar Man, directed by Malik Bendjelloul and produced by Simon Chinn, has already won a Bafta and numerous awards across the world including at the Sundance Film Festival. Crown said: “[this is a] fabulous feel-good film with a very strong story. It seemed to make perfect creative and commercial sense to invest in it”. The film charts the story of mysterious 1970s Detroit folksinger Sixto Rodriguez. His albums enjoyed little commercial success in the United States and he vanished into obscurity amid rumours of a gruesome suicide, but in South Africa a bootleg of one of his recordings became a phenomenon. Then in the 1990s some fans decided to find out what really happened to their hero. Crown also stated: “A lot of my students have watched the film. It shows them the importance of story, narrative drive and taking your audience on a journey. They also really enjoy the music – which
"Take time every day to stare at a lake and cry, only then will you be one with the universe." Ali Shah, Laurence Atterbury
shows how the film’s appeal spans the generations.” Crown is an experienced film and television producer, executive producer and development executive. She has an enviable industry track record in all aspects of the production supply chain, working as an independent feature film producer earning Oscar and Bafta nominations, an Executive Producer running
In South Africa a bootleg of one of his recordings became a phenomenon a feature film production fund of £2.2 million, and a development fund of £150,000 as well as a TV drama producer and BBC script editor. Crown has been working in television for over 25 years which gives her an edge in teaching as she has the ability to help students develop a practical awareness of how films are made so they understand how the industry really works. This is very valuable to students as their knowledge of film is not just theoretical.
Jatinder Kalsi, Student News Editor
Pole Fitness Society outraged by NUS guide NUS Women’s Campaign has sparked controversy over the release of a brief titled ‘Pole Fitness Societies’. NUS Women’s Campaign Officer Kelley Temple, states that the aim of the campaign is to ‘focus on the impact of violence and objectification towards women students. We will be fighting for better rights for student parents and better representation for women in students’ unions’. The brief has created debate over what Pole Fitness symbolises, statements such as ‘Pole dancing was created to exploit women’s bodies for financial gain and still does. Simply having difference circumstances and in different clothes doesn’t make pole fitness a differently thing from pole dancing’. The main aim of the brief was to encourage and support people who wish to stop pole dancing societies in Universities from being allowed to open and current ones to be disbanded. Sophie Logan, Founder and President of the University of Essex Pole Dancing club, commented on the issue, “I found the comments to be very hurtful and did not represent the true nature of pole dancing clubs at universities. I am so proud of the hard work that the members put in, and it has taken us a long time to get the respect we deserve as a sports club and these comments are another setback for our progression.” Ruth Howarth, a member of both the Feminist society and Pole dancing club has argued: “We’re a legit sports society and we deserve to be treated as such. I think that the NUS “woman’s campaign” briefing was ridiculous. You can ask any member of the pole dancers and they will all tell you that pole dancing empowers us. The author of the briefing states we cannot remove the stigma of pole dancing, but I feel its people like her who make it harder.” Jatinder Kalsi, Student News Editor
TUESDAY 22ND JANUARY 2013 | ISSUE 138
£10 CompetItor TraVeL ONLY) £10 Spectator TraVeL ONLY) £15 TraVeL & UEA EVENING EVEnt)
Man attacked in nightclub LOCAL
Colchester nightlife snubbed by popular website LOCAL Local police are appealing for information after a man in his 20s was violently attacked in a popular Colchester nightclub on Wednesday February 20 at around 1am. The victim had been enjoying a night out with friends when he was badly beaten on the stair case of Liquid & Envy on the High Street. The attack left the man with a dislocated collar bone, cracked ribs and cuts and bruises. It is not yet
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known whether there was an altercation between the victim and another reveler which could have spurred the assault. A 30-year-old man has since been arrested on suspicion of obstructing a police officer, but nobody has been arrested for the assault. Anyone with information should contact Local Police on 101. Natilly Macartney Local News Editor
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Student volunteering week a success! University of Essex students are celebrating after completing one of the most ambitious volunteering projects in the county’s history. Over the past week, more than 200 students from the University of Essex Students’ Union’s volunteering network ‘vTeam’, ran a staggering
19 volunteering projects, delivering help and support to hundreds of local people. The projects ranged from renovating community meeting rooms to teaching local school children about Chinese New year and giving parts of Greenstead a facelift by painting a row of 14 unloved garage doors.
Local Councillor, Tim Young, has been left angered after the popular travel website Dealchecker.co.uk recently described a night out in Colchester as “British nightlife at its most vulgar and debased”. The website implied that there was a serious problem with drink and drugs in the town and questioned the morals of some of its residents by writing: “drink, cheap sluts, and massive selection of drugs imported from Holland via the nearby east coast are all widely available for consumption”. Tim Young, stepped in to defend the town labeling the description “insulting and offensive”, and said that the description certainly doesn’t reflect the Colchester he knows. Mr. Young said: “We do have a lively night time economy, and maybe there is a little bit too much alcohol at times, but we’ve got strategies in place to deal with that.” However, whilst many residents have been insulted by the comments, others have suggested that the website’s opinions of
Student volunteers braved wintery conditions to build a wooden causeway through marshy woodlands in Alresford, allowing residents to enjoy this pretty spot, and undertook a mammoth clean-up of the riverbank in Wivenhoe, rescuing everything from ‘For Sale’ signs and desks from the River Colne. The week ended with the Big Project which saw students repainting Level 2 and giving it a much needed revamp. Keith Rowland, Community Volunteering Manager for the University of Essex Students’ Union said that this has
been the “most ambitious challenge we’ve ever taken on, particularly because of the bad weather. The fact that our volunteers were out every day in such high numbers just shows the extreme dedication that students at this University have for making a positive difference to local people’s lives.” The Students’ Union’s vTeam initiative runs volunteering projects throughout the year from one off projects to weekly projects, each supporting the local community from schools to charitable trusts. This year a record number of 800 students
the town may not be that unreasonable. Final-year student Kerri-Ann said: “Their comments are not that far off.” Whilst Law student Matthew Desborough said: “Colchester is far from being the nicest place to go out, there are some decent bars but I wouldn’t go to any of the clubs, they’re quite scummy.” The content has since been removed from the website, and in a public apology Deal Checker has said: “We apologise for any offence caused. Dealchecker is positive about Colchester as a tourism destination and how much it has to offer.” Natilly Macartney, Local News Editor
have signed up to volunteer through the vTeam. The week also benefitted a number of charities, Lyndsay Wood from the Action for Children charity said “The volunteers were all very friendly and willing to help, and without their energy and dedication our event would have had significantly less impact. We look forward to working with volunteers from the University again in the near future.” Jatinder Kalsi, Student News Editor
FRIDAY 18TH JANUARY 2013 | ISSUE 138
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Political Correctness is Censorship We can all deny that censorship is a problem. We have a free press, we have little or no internet censorship, and by and large we can say what we want. Yet censorship, in the form of political correctness, is a massive blight on our free, liberal society. Samuel L. Jackson once did an interview where he tried to force the interviewer to say ‘nigger’. The interviewer refuses. But Jackson’s point is that to start treating words as intrinsically bad is an extremely dangerous attitude. Clearly the offensiveness of a racial slur comes from it being used offensively, but we are forcing ourselves into a position whereby we censor words even in the discussion of their usage. This is ridiculous – there are no ‘bad words’, only bad usage. The other, more damaging, form of censorship comes when we limit freedom of speech – for instance, through hate speech legislation. Initially this seems reasonable, but actually such legislation is counter-productive. The existence of hate speech should be allowed so that we can learn to better refute these distasteful views and defend our opinions against them. This would also present us with an opportunity to truly see our own values and what makes them so important. Obviously an exception should be made for when hate speech seeks to incite violence. Starting a hate speech website is acceptable, but repeating those ideas to a bloodthirsty mob is not. Mike Moore
It’s a Question of Courtesy
Do people have a right to censorship?
Having lived in two countries that come from two very different standpoints on censorship, I do not see censorship as a big deal in all honesty. In the UK, I do admire the extent to which censorship is kept at a minimum and only really used for legal precedence. In the United Arab Emirates, it is not in any way the same case. This does not bother me. Say, for example, I was watching Black Swan in a cinema when at home in the UAE. The film comes to the point where Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are about to partake in an intimate act and then suddenly the film cuts to a point after said scene, fast-forwarding the plot somewhat and perhaps leaving it rather disjointed. That may seem annoying to some people, but to me, it is not a big deal. Yes, it is annoying the scene is cut out, (even more so if your favourite actresses happen to include Natalie Portman or Mila Kunis) but that is something that I have to readily accept when watching that film in that region. Views towards sex are much more reserved and as a resident in that country, I have to accept that. They are letting me stay and so to abide by their censorship laws should not be a huge sacrifice. After all, I can always order the film from Amazon and watch it if I so desired.
DO YOU HAVE AN OPINION? Let us know and we’d be glad to hear from you! You may even get published.
Sometimes, overtly sexual acts need to be kept behind closed doors. Who actually wants to see two people eating each other’s faces on a crowded high street anyway? ‘Get a room!’ Censor yourselves. Jack Gerrard
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH | ISSUE 141
HOT TOPIC The problem with censorship is fuck shit cunt wank arse rimjob faggot brick nigger tits arse telepath.
Positive Propaganda Propaganda – the mere word evokes emotional images of Nazi attempts to socialise and control an entire nation with intolerant beliefs and attitudes. Goebbels’ various productions towards this aim have tainted the word so much that most nations no longer have a ‘minister for propaganda’, a role much more common before WW2. This connotation is unfair. Propaganda is not to blame for its outcome – the ideology behind it is. In Nazi Germany and fascist Italy, propaganda was used to garner support for their expansionist military pursuits, amongst other things. On the other hand, propaganda helped the Allies achieve great things. It kept
spirits up in Britain, it helped to motivate the USSR to fight on despite massive casualties and it helped to garner support within America for them joining the war. Without propaganda and the control of information the Second World War may have gone differently. It is sometimes necessary for those in power to tell people half-truths or even down right lies in order to achieve a greater aim.
Unfortunately now you don’t know if this was insightful or just completely vulgar. Prepare the foil caps. Censorship titties cocksucker
I am The Rabbit - Comments
and I approve this message. Should political broadcasts feature on TV? It is easily the most common way for people to access election manifestos and campaigns. Television broadcasts allow people who don’t normally support a party to have their views challenged and their minds expanded. However, in these broadcasts no opposing view is presented. No one wants endless campaign ads or endless political montages. Election broadcasts should be on television, but they should not go undisputed. I’m glad our TVs are not rammed with Americanstyle campaign ads. Jack Fryer
People are all too happy to sit in ignorance unless they are convinced otherwise. Far from being a threat to humanity’s freedom, propaganda may just be the best way of helping to protect it sometimes. Josh Amos
“All aboard the Censor-Ship”
You Can’t Please Everyone We create propaganda daily, by communicating opinions or arguments that are one-sided or misinformed. Yet this becomes a problem when people start to consume that opinion as fact. We form political opinions, prejudices and consumer preferences based what we see and hear everywhere around us. It is too easy then to become influenced or offended by something you might read, maybe even something printed in this very newspaper. It is easily avoidable: keep an open mind and don’t take it all to heart. Adam Bond
A friend of mine recently wrote me a letter. He writes for his student paper and had this to say: “Welcome to the censor-ship! Everyone on board is happy and no-one will say any different.” It’s stupid but the atrocious punning just doesn’t hide that insidious second sentence. Censorship is difficult to justify, and impossible to do so in student media. To criticise a holder of public office is the best way to provide a constructive response allowing the elected to shape their actions to the need of the public. Without this our
leaders can simply ignore the electorate and blithely make decisions and churn out policy. If there is no malice in the actions and the criticisms are legitimate then I can see no problem. Nerves must naturally afflict the newly elected, all too aware of the insecurity of their positions and there is no point pointing fingers and dishing out blame. You just have to hope the new lot have more sense than the old ones. Kit Cherry
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Housing Workshops - for all the advice you need about moving Every Wednesday from 16th Jan - 20th March in the Teaching Centre TC2.8 at 2pm. All Welcome!
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH | ISSUE 141
Culture Laugh out Loud! I’ d like to start with a joke. I can’t remember where I heard it, but it’s amazing. So here goes ..
Two muffins are in an oven. One turns to the other and says “man it’s hot in here.” The other one looks back and says ... “Ahhh...a talking muffin!” Laughter is the best medicine. Throughout the realm of culture there have always been those wanting to make us laugh. Be it in response to critics, painting them as monkeys or even as elephants in a couple or even to get us to look at a dire political situation differently. This is where satire steps in. Everyone who reads a paper or even the internet with all its wonderful memes, will find an image which hits upon a certain issue, as well as the funny bone. Take for example the Illustrator and satirist Chris Riddel, whom draws for the Guardian, among other publications, his work displays in a sort of hyperbolic insane way contemporary government systems. He is a spectacular artist I do recommended checking him out. Satire is the wonderful weapon which keeps those in charge in check, and the best part about it is no one gets hurt. The way to survive in the art world, well in real life as well is to not take yourself too seriously. Charlie Chaplin once said “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy is in longshot.” Comedy can distract us from the woes of this mortal toil, yet it does this by pointing out the silliness of it all. It’s why in film comedy has so much of a stake, because people will always go and see a film which makes them laugh, where as you only really want to be scared once or twice a month, unless you’re like myself. But I guess the key to remember when addressing comedy is “Time flies swift like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.” And of course to all ways look on the bright side of life! Lewis Butler
Can art be comical?
Comedian: Romesh Ranganathan here is only continuing to try and do as well as you can while enjoying yourself. I manage neither.”
One of the new comedians on the scene is Romesh Ranganathan, who has recently starred on numerous TV programmes, as well as touring seemingly ever venue in the country. With wit as dry as a desert, this man will have you in stitches! KW: Earlier in your career, you performed in numerous rap battles. Are we to see any more of that?
RR: My combination of ethnicity and having a lazy eye mean I am an excellent box ticker, so in sure I’ll be on something soon. KW: You have been recently supporting Sean Walsh; how has it been to support someone of his comedic calibre? RR:Sean is using me to try to get rid of some racism accusations that have been following him around. When I can’t get to the gigs to support him he sometimes browns up and pretends to be me. It’s quite the show.
KW: We’ve seen you featuring on C4’s “The 50 Funniest RR: Absolutely not. It was a Moments of 2012”, you’ve horrendous experience for all got an entry on BBC3 involved, not to mention the comedy, and you even damage to hip hop music itself. have PR assistants! Are we witnessing your KW: As an ex-student of The breakthrough? Beacon School, (Yes, we’ve caught onto you) would you RR: There’s no such thing as say that we’ve seen the last a breakthrough. There is only of Rangasgonnabangya (A continuing to try and do as self-imposed nickname) or will well as you can while enjoying he be on terrestrial television yourself. I manage neither. anytime soon? Keir Waller
“My combination of ethnicity and having a lazy eye mean I am an excellent box ticker”
Art is something which varies from person to person as interests in art will always be something personal to each individual. Some people do not like art work that has a comical element to it, as they feel this defeats the true meaning at the heart of art. Examples of this is work such as caricatures that are drawn to emphasise features of a person, this art form is also used as a tourist attraction on the streets of several countries. Caricatures I feel are a great way of expressing ones imagination by creating a piece of art that “exaggerate(s) the physical qualities of a person” such as the many caricatures of Will Smith that emphasises the shape of his face and the size of his ears. This is done whilst still “leaving the subject of the caricature entirely recognisable”, Anthony Geoffroy who has created some amazing pieces that he often produces to utilise humorous drawings of celebrities. I have always found caricatures very intriguing as they are so different to the art forms I have created in the past and have drawn several of my own in the past. After seeing the many caricatures of Will Smith, I always wanted to create my own until one day I did and really enjoyed to piece I created and since then I haven’t stopped drawing them, the comical side of them are what make them so interesting to me and are why I enjoyed it so much. Jenni Draper
Music Exclamation Pony @ Hoxton Square Bar 19/02/2013 We love an exclusive and catching a glimpse of Ryan Jarman (The Cribs) and Jen Turner’s (Here We Go Magic) latest side project at the Hoxton venue certainly ranks high where exclusivity is concerned. Jarman jested “We’re not dealing with a bunch of Hoxton squares!” as the band kicked things off with ‘3 Hour Onslaught’; a track which showcases the band’s animalistic side and immediately sets this project as a world apart from The Cribs. The contagious track ‘Rumours’ followed suit adding enough of a twist to the trademark, lo-fi melodies of Ryan Jarman to comfortably fall under the Exclamation Pony umbrella. Not surprisingly, the gig started to become more and more unpredictable with each swig of Jen Turner’s bottle of Jack Daniels. As the consequential tracks unfolded, Jen Turner began to partake in full-out snogging several of a few willing female fans from the stage, as the crowd watched on in amazement. ‘Real Male’ was a personal highlight which transpired to be heavier and more experimental, with a catchy disco groove. Regardless of the on-stage antics which certainly made for a most eventful gig, it certainly gave us a glimpse of what to expect from the future of Exclamation Pony. To say this gig was unpredictable would certainly be an understatement. Mark Wood
Time for a Festival Fling? As festivals begin to announce line-ups and rumours of surprise appearances emerge, I have begun the annual debate of whether to give up home comforts for a weekend of sludge and showers this summer. When I held this one-woman debate last summer I decided that, for the first time since 2008, I would abandon muddy music festivals and instead watch from the comfort of my living room on television (or not, the line-ups were pretty poor last year). But this didn’t mean I ditched music festivals entirely. ‘A music festival, in a cool cosmopolitan city... no camping, no mud and a whole host of fantastic venues you failed to have right on your doorstep because you chose
Colchester as your university town of choice’. Sounds pretty good right? Well in May the likes of Liverpool, Leeds and Brighton continue to be epic cities while simultaneously and temporarily become epic festival sites. And whilst you won’t see the likes of Coldplay, Eminem or some 70-year-old comeback band headlining; you will find a bunch of new up-and-coming artists that I can guarantee will include an oversized handful of bands that will hit the big time within the year. The venues are mostly small and intimate which is all the better. Soon enough some of these artists will only be seen at sold out Brixton Academy gigs where the closest you will get to the band is a kick in the face from an obese crowd surfer wearing the band merchandise.
And whilst no camping means hotels, hostels or shacking up with a mate who goes to university in one of these cities, it is so worth it. The festival ticket is often dirt cheap which definitely compensates for accommodation prices. So before you go a little mad forking out £200+ for a weekend in the mud at Bestival or T in the Park this summer (though highly recommended too!) It’s worth considering these: The Great Escape (Brighton), Live at Leeds (Leeds), Sound City (Liverpool). The line ups are all available on their websites and continue to grow as the festivals come closer. See you there. Becky Excell, Music Editor
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Interview – Young Kato For anyone who is a fan of E4’s reality TV Show ‘Made in Chelsea’ then you may have heard of up-and-coming British indie band Young Kato, who have just embarked on their first January tour. With catchy melodies, indie vibes and an ear for some banging tunes, this band is definitely one to watch out for. Formed of vocalist Tommy Wright, guitarists Jack Edwards and Jack Green, bassist Joe Lever, keyboardist Harry Steele and Sam Henderson, this is a band which has something special. Can you tell the students at The University of Essex a little bit about yourselves and how you became Young Kato? “We’re a group of six lads in a band from Cheltenham. We formed through two stepbrothers each inviting two of their friends to play together.” Joe Green, the guitarist for the band explains. When did you all know you wanted to pursue music as a career? “I don’t think there was ever a definitive moment but its something that’s incredibly addictive. You’re always striving for the next goal as a band.” Who are your musical influences? “My taste in music changes all the time and I go through stages of listening to particular genres or themes. The obvious ones would definitely be bands like The Beatles, Duran Duran, Tears for Fears and The Stone Roses. But music that influences me changes from day to day.” He explains.
ONE TO WATCH:
This eclectic mix of influences is evidently one of the reasons why they have such a loyal following, on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, I wonder how important their fans are to the band. “It sounds cliché but we would still be in our drummer’s bedroom without our fans. We wouldn’t be anywhere without them.” You were recently featured in E4’s ‘Made in Chelsea’, how important are other entertainment platforms in ensuring people hear you music? “They’re incredibly useful especially as a small, new band. It’s a massive leg up and projects your music way further than you could on your own.” How did you come up with the name ‘Young Kato’? “We had a week as a band to think of a name and it was just a case of putting forward endless lists of suggestions. I kept finding the name Kato and really liked it especially as ‘Young Kato’. At first the band hated the idea but I kept putting it forward and in the end won them over.” Having just released their debut EP ‘Dance, Drink, Play’ Young Kato are now working on their debut album. Keep an eye out for this band, they are going to go far, I think. Naomi Jeffreys, Film Editor
Album Reviews Wet Nuns – ‘Broken Teeth’ Clocking in at just over two minutes, Sheffieldbased duo Wet Nuns are maintaining top form with their latest single ‘Broken Teeth’. Exploiting the stoner-blues formula that serves them so well, this track is yet another barbed-wire winner; think Black Keys on an unrelenting rampage. With Robert Graham’s abrasive vocals and visceral riffs combined with Alexis Gotts’ animalistic drumming, ‘Broken Teeth’ shapes up to be another riff-tastic facemelter – and it’s all over before you’ve even realised what hit you. My repeat button has been sincerely violated. Mark Wood
HHHHH The Cribs – ‘Leather Jacket Love Song’
This Many Boyfriends
Hailing from Leeds, indie-pop outfit This Many Boyfriends are one of thoe instantly infectious bands; leave the concept albums, slow burners and seven minute soundscapes at home, it is what it is with This Many Boyfriends and that’s what we love about them. Richard’s vocals feature all the poetic qualities of Smiths’ legend,
Morrissey, but without the bleak lyrics that often accompany him. Tracks such as ‘(I Should Be A) Communist’ are immediately arresting and rough around the edges; ‘Young Lovers Go Pop!’ is a melodic gem and really shines in its simplicity. It’s no surprise that they attracted the attention of frontman of The Cribs, Ryan Jarman who produced their self-titled album.
BBC Radio 6 DJ Steve Lamacq aptly described them as sounding ‘like 5 people high on several bowls of sugary cereal, bouncing down a stair case on a number of bright orange spacehoppers’. So what are you waiting for? Someone pass me a spoon! Becky Excell, Music Editor
IF YOU LIKE THEM YOU’LL LOVE...
Plucked from ‘Payola’, The Cribs’ recent greatest hits album, ‘Leather Jacket Love Song’ is a cult classic among fans of the Jarman brothers. Having previously existed strictly as a ‘live performance only’ track, we had feared that we’d never hear the infectious arpeggios of ‘Leather Jacket Love Song’ outside of a Cribs gig. Thankfully, this cult favourite has finally been immortalised in all its lo-fi glory. Expect distorted guitars and trademark pained Cribs vocals working in harmony with the catchiest melodies known to man. It’s got a certain naïve happiness that just keeps on giving; a true Cribs masterpiece. Mark Wood
WILD PALMS UNTIL SPRING (2011)
HATCHAM SOCIAL ABOUT GIRLS (2012)
ZEUS OPERA (2013)
It can be said that the animated films of the Walt Disney Studio are a mainstay of a childhood.
The Disney Renaissance It can be said that the animated films of the Walt Disney Studio are a mainstay of a childhood. It can be very hard to find someone who is a native English speaker who hasn’t seen any animated films by the ubiquitous studio. There are generally two types films that any one in our generation has seen, these include either the classics, mostly relegated to the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Bambi or other films of that ilk, or those films that have fallen into a rather special category; the Disney Renaissance.
Set in a period between the 1980’s to the 2000’s this period was a of reaffirming Disney’s house hold name after poor business decisions, management reshuffles and the start of a short lived rivally from former employ Don Bluth, the creative force behind Robin Hood, The Rescuers and An American Tale. The first in this new breed of Disney films was The Little Mermaid (1989) which set the template for a new breed of Disney movies; a musical added to a traditional tale of
romance and magic. Many of the films included with in the Renaissance have contributed to the Disney princess franchise with characters like Belle, Ariel and Mulan. The Renaissance was so successful that Beauty and the Beast was nominated for the best picture, in fact many of the Renaissance where nominated for multiple Oscars. This was not to last and many consider the last in this era was 1999’s Tarzan.
dominated by Pixar and Dreamworks. John Lassiter, co-founder of Pixar animation studios, took over as creative director at Disney animation studios. Among his first projects was The Princess and the Frog a film that combined an already established fairy tale with an America twist, while still retaining all of the old tropes we have come to know from the Renaissance.
There was a return to form though after a decade
Benjamin Pinsent, Deptuty Film Editor
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH | ISSUE 141
Animated Films of
2013 marks the return of the Animated Film, with a whole host of re-releases, which include Finding Nemo 3D and Monsters University. Who says that animated films are for kids? The storylines often have a deeper meaning which adults can understand and many a private joke for us to laugh at. If University life is getting a tad stressful, watch one of these films and they are guaranteed to make you feel better. The Animated Film Genre is led by the big giants of Disney, Dreamworks and Pixar. Perhaps best known for Shrek, Cinderella and Toy Story. But these are past films and the Rabbit Film Section prides itself on embracing the present. So we are going to give you a lowdown of the best animated films to watch this year: Monsters University – for those of you who remember the original Monsters Inc, this prequel promises to include your favourite animated characters, with the voice talents of comedian Billy Crystal, Kelsey Grammer, Helen Mirren . Set about ten years prior to the first film, it follows Mike Wazowski and Sully as they prepare to scare for Monsters Incorporated. A film which promises to be full of laughs and with the setting in a University, its ideal for students. It’s released on 21st June. The Croods – this fun loving animated film follows a protective Caveman father who leads his family out of his comfort zone, after
DID YOU KNOW ‘Die Hard‘ (1989)
• During filming, Alan Rickman was found proficient at mimicking American accents; the scene in which McClane and Hans Gruber meet was then inserted. • Nakatomi Plaza, the setting of the film, is actually Fox Headquarters in Los Angeles. • Alan Rickman’s feature film debut • Bruce Willis received $5 million dollars for the role
Who says that animated films are for kids? an earthquake destroys their home. With the voice talents of Ryan Reynolds and Emma Stone, it looks fun loving and has an impressive cast, it will be in cinemas on March 22nd. Frozen – With the voice talents of Idina Menzel, Kirsten Bell and Johnathan Groff, this film follows a kingdom which is trapped in eternal winter, and the two protagonists must fight to save their Kingdom from the Snow Queen. Fantasy and top quality animation, it could be the surprise hit next Winter, it is set to be released November 27th.
Best of the Rest
This short film, with a running time of 6:35 and was made as an extra on the Wreck it Ralph blu ray DVD. A visual masterpiece and produced by Disney, directed by John Kahrs, has become a surprise hit for the company. Filmed in 2D and set in the 1940s, Paperman is a sweet love story, with that Disney touch, with an Oscar nod, this is a cinematic treat.
This animated adventure follows one girls adventure to find her father in the forest, where she encounters a species called the Leafmen. With the voice talents of Amanda Seyfried, Colin Farrell and Beyonce, this could be a rather fun adventure for audiences. It is out in cinemas in May.
From the makers of Cars, Planes is set to be another clever melding of man and machine as one. Unlike its Cars predecessors, the film isn’t produced by Pixar, instead, it’s produced by DisneyToons Animation. If you’re looking for something to escape the sometimes humdrum university life, give this a watch. It is scheduled to be released on August 9th.
With an Oscar nod for Best Animated Film and with an interesting concept, of an 80s video game called Fix it Felix Jr, players get points to fix windows which are broken by Wreck it Ralph. This nostalgic film has a nice idea, where the anti-hero must become the hero of his own game. But, as with other animated features, something is missing.
Naomi Jeffreys, Film Editor
Naomi Jeffreys, Film Editor
Naomi Jeffreys, Film Editor
Naomi Jeffreys, Film Editor
T REV V IEW
One of the disadvantages of being at university is my pure reluctance to purchase a TV license. Most of the time this only serves to my advantage as it means I am not distracted to the point of idiotic procrastination indulgences like Caesar the Dog Whisperer. However, it does mean that I find it harder to keep up to date with the latest shows. This causes me to become somewhat dependent upon catch up services. This is how I discovered Cardinal Burns. Cardinal Burns may sound like one of the most cryptic names in history, but it is little more than a British sketch show named after it’s writers and stars. The sketches range from the silly to the dark as well as a good degree of the absurd. The first series won the British Comedy Award for best sketch show, and it was a well-deserved winner. In classic sketch show style it has a tendency to be hit and miss at times, but it is forgiven for not designing a show built around catchphrases. Cardinal Burns returns to E4 this year for a second series. Watch the first series on 4oD, it won’t take the world by storm, but at least it’s original. Tom Steggall, TV Deputy Editor
BLACK MIRROR If you’ve seen it, then you probably love it. If you haven’t seen it, then stop what you’re doing right away, go to the PC labs and get onto 4OD. The usually sarcastic and satirical comedian Charlie Brooker is back with the second series The usually of the Baftanominated scisarcastic fi drama Black Mirror, which and satirical is so good comedian that Robert Charlie Brooker Downey Jnr has recently is back bought the rights to make a movie version of this glorious piece of art. Here’s hoping it’s not the episode with the pig and the Prime Minister… Series 2 started with Be Right Back, a futuristic, emotional
rollercoaster centring around a young couple; comprising of Ash, who is obsessed with updating his Facebook and Twitter (aren’t we all?) and his new wife Martha. After Ash dies suddenly, Martha joins a new kind of social networking; talking to her dead husband via his previous status updates and Tweets. Sounds weird, right? But Brooker makes it seem like this will be part of the perhaps not-too-distant future, given today’s social media obsession. After his death, Martha finds out she’s pregnant, so investigates this innovative software which has the ability to recreate a virtual Ash based upon everything he’s ever said online, as well as his uploaded videos and pictures. Using all this information, she is able to hear his voice, have conversations with him and eventually actually see and
touch him. Oh and when I say him, I mean Ron Weasley’s long lost Irish brother. As farfetched as it might sound, it starts off almost believable; the idea that you can use years’ worth of internet updates to recreate a personality. Although thankfully it is just something of fiction, as most of our virtual personalities would just be moaning about being hung over and sharing pictures of hilarious cats. Not only is first episode Be Right Back completely gripping, it also has a greater emotional connection than the first series; you get drawn into the love story and Martha’s quest to get back her husband, as well as perhaps questioning the role that social media plays in life today. Each series comprises of three different stories, every one being an hour long, so there is no excuse to not go and watch Black Mirror…now! Kirsten Alexander
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The Fried Chicken Shop: Life in a Day “Fried chicken is part of everyday life… it’s the frontline and breadline of Britain… and fried chicken doesn’t just have consumers, it has fans.”- Over-exaggerating commentator on TFCS. Listed as ‘crucial viewing’ on 4oD, ‘TFCS’ is a fly on the wall documentary following the on-goings inside a typical fried chicken shop on Clapham high-street. It’s really quite hard to see why 4OD might suggest this is as ‘crucial’ viewing when nothing is really achieved in the programme, with very little happening other than watching a few people devour some greasy chicken. Instead I am left disappointed as this had the potential to be really quite good; like most I approached the show expecting drunken antics; lads chundering on girls, grown men passing out and maybe a battered chicken brain discovery or two… None of this happens. I have been to a fried chicken shop after a drunken night out, I know what goes down and this is what I wanted to see! Perhaps their customers were camera shy, or maybe they just need to come to Chicko’s in Colchester on a Saturday night.
It seems as if the documentary’s main goal is to convince the entirety of Great Britain that each bite of a piece of chicken is like the second coming of Jesus into your life; as chicken shops are described as “the foundations of the high street”. Saying that, I did enjoy further thoughtful, useful insights into a few idiots’ minds that they would “rather go to a chicken shop than WHSmith at 3am.”
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I just can’t help but think that Channel 4 are scraping the barrel producing a show about a chicken shop; avoid. Kerri Butcher, TV Editor
Why the British do it Best: Sketch Shows British TV is notable on numerous grounds: recommissioning ‘Big Brother’ 14 times; ITV believing the public to have the IQ of a deformed chimp; and giving Piers Morgan a platform. This delivers the conclusion that TV and our population are doomed. However, Britain is less commonly commended upon providing the best sketch shows on the planet. “So what?” you may ask, disregarding that this is actually quite a good achievement when you consider the sketch shows that appear in most foreign countries are simply sold from British TV channels (Australia being the exception). For example, America, despite all of its non-hilarious sitcom shitting doesn’t generate sketch shows of any acclaim. Whilst racking my brains attempting to come up with an American example the best I could manage was ‘Family Guy’ and ‘Robot Chicken’, however, I refuse to include these on account of their pure lack of originality.
Britain expresses various forms of comedy through sketches. Ranging from the dark and cynical like ‘Harry and Paul’ and ‘The League of Gentlemen’, to the erudite and silly like ‘That Mitchell and Webb Look’. Sadly they are sometimes let down by catchphrase calamities like ‘Little Britain’ and ‘The Catherine Tate Show’ but I am accepting of these on the basis that in-between the catchphrases there is some genuinely brilliant comedy. Briefly I wish to draw your attention to a few classics that you would be forgiven for never having heard of. The inventively named ‘The Sketch Show’ was a 2001 BAFTA award winning series, bizarrely aired on ITV. ‘The Sketch Show’ provided the first TV appearances for prospective comedians like Lee Mack, Tim Vine and Ronni Ancona. The real beauty of the show was that it didn’t focus on characters, instead simply delivering fast paced unconnected sketches one after
the other which succeeded laughs at an unparalleled rate. This can be likened to ‘The Mitchell and Webb Situation’ which was watched by at least 4 people on Play UK back in 2001. Mitchell and Webb delivered some of the most original material years before anybody ever really came to know them. Sketch shows are typically hit and miss, but having watched ‘The Sketch Show’ and ‘The Mitchell and Webb Situation’ time and time again I can assure you that this doesn’t always have to be the case. Sketch shows provide budding comics the entrances they are otherwise denied, making our nation so unique and prominent in comedy. Disregard their snubbing, praise the sketch show. Tom Steggall, TV Deputy Editor
The problem with film adaptations is they are never going to be the 19 hour, page by page epic that every bookish uber fan wants. And even then I doubt it would satisfy the needs of a few. A film will never be as individual as a book; there isn’t the same level of interpretation inherent in a film as literature. But what we must not do as fans is disregard one person’s interpretation and place our own higher. Instead view the film for what it is, a film: if it is a rubbish film then it’s a rubbish film, but don’t say it’s rubbish because it missed out this and this. That doesn’t make it rubbish, it just shows constraints. A good example of this is A Clockwork Orange by Kubrick. His work has been taken into the film cannon wholeheartedly, and the images that he created are iconographic. But, in my opinion he misses the point of the novel. This does not let the film down, instead it changes the meaning. And as an artist he well within his rights to do so. There are many adaptations out there that aren’t page by pagers but grasp the crux of a novel so well, there really cannot be ground to persecute. So stop looking for your interpretation on screen, and just enjoy what you see. Who wants to sit in a cinema for 19 hours anyway? Rebecca McEwen
You can’t spell “novelty” without the “novel” Although there are many critically acclaimed character, Roman general Coriolanus, got a 2011 book to film adaptations, claiming the movie is makeover from Ralph Fiennes, in a fictional 21st as good as the writing could be quite flawed. century Rome warzone. That’s a few millennia between the timelines! The process of compressing Thus, we could also a novel into a two hour mention the two Coens’ movie may squeeze out Although O Brother, Where Art much of the depth. However, there are many Thou? a rendition of if you think about music Homer’s Odyssey in the covers or remixes, the focus critically ‘30s Mississippi. also shifts to presenting it to acclaimed another type of audience. Speaking of Greek lore, While music is adapted to book to film did you know that other genres, books may adaptations, the Pygmalion myth, be brought to a different, previously adapted into modern setting. claiming the George Bernard Shaw’s eponymous play, was U n s u r p r i s i n g l y , movie is as good the base of Julia Roberts’ Shakespeare’s Romeo and as the writing Pretty Woman? Juliet is a relevant example. The highly praised ‘60s could be quite Movies like these classic West Side Story flawed. show that novelty updates the tragic love tale to can compensate the NYC gangland, while Baz for the inevitable Luhrmann’s “Romeo + Juliet” brings a ‘90s feel to it. Hamlet meets the 2000s content loss from book to film. After all, technology through Ethan Hawke, whose name you can’t spell ‘novelty’ without the ‘novel’! should ring a bell. He also played Finn Bell – the contemporary artist version of Pip from Dickens’ Great Expectations. Another Shakespearian Stefan a stoican
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH | ISSUE 141
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I am always excited to hear that a book I love is being adapted into a film. Sure the stakes are high. There is so much pressure on the director and the actors to get it right, the fans want their favourite scene, their favourite quote and their favourite characters to make it to the big screen. But when it’s done right it’s such a pleasure to watch. Late last year one of my favourite books The Perks of Being a Wallflower was released in the cinemas and I thought it was perfect. Part of the reason; the author had a say. Stephen Chbosky wrote the book, he wrote the screenplay and he directed the movie and it was beautiful to watch. I recommend you do read the book first if you haven’t yet seen it. Another success is One Day by David Nicholls; they managed to stick to the book which is what we love when we’re watching and it definitely helps when the casting director chooses actors who fit the role perfectly, Anne Hathaway portrays Emma better than I could have asked for or imagined. We know parts of the book won’t make it to film and
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the director will never please everybody and yes, there will definitely be some failures. However, I think it’s worth the risk. People who don’t read that much might find a film they love and want to read the book and I think that always marks it as a success.
BO REV OK IEW
by Hilary Mantel
Set in the bloody world of Tudor England, Hilary Mantel’s 2009 novel is the story of Thomas Cromwell: lowborn boy, bully, master of manipulation, and the most powerful of Henry VIII’s courtiers. Wolf Hall is not an easy read - this should be made clear up front. It’s a formidable mixture of history, fiction, myth and allegory, with a colossal roster of characters that is occasionally hard to follow, but make the effort and you’ll find an absorbing, intelligent and beautifully written book; a magnificent,
regal feast that will leave you spent, but satisfied. Wolf Hall’s chief strength is that it takes sweeping historical events and reconstructs them on a foundation of character. Cromwell, in particular, is a fascinating figure: sympathetic, menacing, calculating and loyal: “Sometimes it’s quite difficult, sir, to distinguish being persuaded by you from being knocked down in the street and trampled on.” Mantel’s women are also beautifully drawn. We seldom
imagine Henry’s wives as human-beings in their own right, but Wolf Hall makes this unavoidable. How would it feel to be Katherine of Aragon, to have your 28-year marriage called invalid, to be labeled a harlot? How would it feel to be Princess Mary, unwanted and illegitimized?
antecedent) but neither of these things bothered me. What did bother me, at least at first, was Wolf Hall’s relentless anti-Catholicism. Its history is meticulously researched, I’m sure, but it’s also selective and the extra-historical characterization exhibits a clear agenda.
Some have complained about Mantel’s erratic omission of speech-marks and her idiosyncratic pronoun use (essentially, Cromwell is always ‘he’, regardless of the expected
Ultimately, however, it’s a novel and not a history book and I made my peace with it: sometimes you can’t argue with beautiful writing.
We cannot help but reimagine the past; we cannot help but rewrite it: “It’s the living that turn and chase the dead. The long bones and skulls are tumbled from their shrouds, and words like stones thrust into their rattling mouths: we edit their writings, we rewrite their lives.” If the writing is as good as Wolf Hall, long may this continue. Tim Andrews
Puzzles If, like us, you’re looking for something to distract you from essays and dissertations, look no further than the Puzzles page!
Anagrams Famous Inventors
SIDE CAR HEM
1. Netting 5. Grave marker 10. Rate 14. Chocolate cookie 15. Snouted animal 16. Black, in poetry 17. Savvy about 18. Matchless 20. Coping 22. Saloon 23. Bother 24. Extreme 25. An armored dinosaur 32. Keyboard instrument 33. Twelve dozen 34. Observed 37. Thrust with a knife 38. Ecru 39. Part of the outer ear 40. Commercials 41. 1000 kilograms 42. Restaurant 43. Blend 45. Sand bar 49. “___ Maria” 50. Have 53. Stretchable 57. Secondary 59. Numerous 60. Its symbol is Pb 61. Clamor 62. Circle fragments 63. Stringed instrument 64. Sound from a nest 65. Tidy
1. State of mind 2. Sea eagle 3. Bristle 4. Ruffian 5. Smells 6. A tart spicy quality 7. Upon (prefix) 8. Arm or leg 9. Diva’s solo 10. A type of necklace 11. Monastery head 12. Hue 13. Colonic 19. A framework of beams 21. Weightlifters pump this 25. Couch 26. Stepped 27. Auspices 28. Go-between 29. Pee 30. “Message received and understood” 31. Utilize 34. A short musical composition 35. Cain’s brother 36. Used to be 38. French for “Good” 39. A certain sports official 41. Covered with linoleum squares 42. Opera star 44. Hammer 45. Overflow 46. Product of bees 47. Academy award 48. Comment to the audience 51. Dispatched 52. Winter precipitation 53. Leisure 54. Container weight 55. Ancient Peruvian 56. Vesicle 58. Bind
LLAMA RELAXER BEG HAND
ACID DRAIN ON LOVE
SAME HOOD TINS
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH | ISSUE 142
TWEET OR TWIT
Below are a selection of tweets, some are real and some we have fabricated – which ones are the real deal? William Shatner @williamshatner
“Lenny, it’s your time to pay for a meal. I must talk to you about how you’re wasting your life. My best, Bill.” Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
“Can’t believe the pope quit. It’s like that old saying goes: “Does the pope quit in the woods?” I’m pretty sure I got that right.” Kourtney Kardashian @KourtneyKardash
“Do ants have dicks?” Betty White @BettyF*ckinWhite
“Don’t hate the playa, hate the game. FU Sudoku!”
Wordwheel There is at least one nine letter word hidden in this wordwheel. How many more words can you find?
Last Weeks Solutions
Burt Reynolds @NotBurtReynolds
“When I lose a follower, I just assumed they died. Because let’s face it, it’s hard not to love me,” Bill Clinton @PimpBillClinton
“There’s a thin line between being the world’s shortest regular dude and the world’s tallest midget. #yeahimhigh.”
TWEET OR TWIT TRUE: RAINN WILSON AZIZ ANSARI KEVIN SMITH FALSE DARTH VADER GOD
How to Write a Cover Letter
Cover letters are essential when applying for jobs, as most employers only spend approximately half a minute on each application. So, make sure your cover letter has an impression that would make the reader look further into your application to learn more about you. This letter should build up the reader’s excitement to give your CV the attention it deserves. But what should it contain?... RESEARCH the company and the job that you are applying for. Look at what they do, who their competitors are and where they stand in the market. This will gives you the knowledge you need to tailor your cover letter so that you can demonstrate that you have the passion needed for the role with the company.
ADDRESSING the cover letter may get tricky at times but you must write this to the person handling the job applications, which is usually listed in t h e
advert. If you are unsure of the name do not hesitate to give the company a call and ask –
Language is our first line of defence Mandarin Chinese language opportunities I London MI5 and MI6 protect the UK from threats to national security including terrorism and espionage. Join us as a Mandarin Chinese language expert and your Mandarin Chinese language skills and cultural awareness will make a key contribution to the work of the investigative or operational team you’ll be embedded in. For language opportunities with more impact, visit www.mi5.gov.uk/careers or www.sis.gov.uk To apply you must be over 18 and a British citizen. Discretion is vital. You should not discuss your application, other than with your partner or a close family member.
there is no harm in showing initiative! If you know the person, Dear Mr Smith, and if you don’t; Dear Sir/ Madam
will do fine. LAYOUT of your cover letter plays an important
role t o t h e re a d e r. Opening of the letter must be short and to the point, explaining the reason. In the second paragraph explain why you are best suitable for the job; briefly describe your experience and qualifications relevant to the role. The third paragraph is an opportunity to emphasise what you bring to the company, which you
may do by outlining your career goal. Before closing the letter you should reiterate your interest in the role and why you are the best candidate for the job, here you should indicate that you would like to meet with the employer for
an interview. Close the letter with Yours Sincerely and your name. Zain Kukaswadia, Vice President Education/Deputy President
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH | ISSUE 141
Politics Department Awarded Prestigious Regius Award The University of Essex has a great track record when it comes to politics including producing Nobel Prize winner and Costa Rican president Oscar Arias Sanchez.
Science as a Way of Life? Scientific thinking has existed throughout history. Man has continuously wanted to answer every question thinkable and many modern theories can be traced back to the philosophers of ancient Greece. Democritus believed the world was made up of atoms, Empedocles propounded a form of natural selection and Heraclitus image of the universe as constant change is reminiscent of contemporary physics. It is no coincidence that the original name for the physical sciences was natural philosophy, and Greek philosophers have had vast influence on the development of modern science. However, the most important thing to remember about these protoscientists was that philosophy was not merely something they did; ultimately, for them it was a way of life. Perhaps we should ask: is this way of living possible for us in contemporary society? The characteristic mechanisms of science: reason, inquiry and objectivity, seem unlikely candidates. But could it be? Reason holds the promise to eradicate prejudice, inquiry allows us to see through the lies so often handed out by those around us, and objectivity could allow us to better orientate ourselves to those around us. But the question remains: can - and should - we take up science as a way of life? Michael Moore
However, now the University has been officially recognised, being awarded one of twelve Regius professorships by the Queen, to mark her Golden Jubilee.
The Mystery of the Car Park King
The Failures of Scientists Past and Present Like the modern day sportsman, the trials and tribulations of scientists were historically watched upon by many. Such as when Archimedes ran naked through the streets crying ‘Eurika’, after he discovered he could determine the density of a crown by sinking it underwater, enabling him to determine the purity of the gold. Although Archimedes is an example of a science ‘win’, there have been many anecdotes of scientists’ ‘fails’ caused by the deadly condition ‘absentmindedness’. One of the earliest examples occurs around 600 BC, when Greek mathematician and astronomer Thales fell down a well while trying to predict a solar eclipse. While
cooking mechanics seemed to elude Isaac Newton, as he boiled his watch while staring at an egg. Even the modern day scientist is troubled by this plague of the mind. 20th century cybernetics originator Norbert Wiener, once reported his car stolen, only to find he had driven it to a conference and returned by train. Meanwhile, American geneticist Sewall Green Wright, mistook an unfortunate laboratory guinea pig for a chalkboard eraser, tucking under his armpit whist giving his lecture. So, next time you think, beware of second thoughts! Stefan Stoican
SCIENCE TWEET OF THE WEEK
Early in February, the Greyfriars’ skeleton, found under a car park in Leicester, was confirmed to be that of Richard III, 527 years since the date of his death. A team of Archaeologists and Scientists led by the University of Leicester were able to identify the King by combining a variety of genetic and osteopathic techniques. Richard, after the death of his brother Edward IV, assumed the reins of power above that of the rightful heirs, his nephews Edward and Richard. Soon after the two young princes disappeared giving birth to the ‘princes in the tower’ mystery. Developments in science and new techniques allowed a compelling case to be made in order to identify that this skeleton was in fact the lost king. The curved spine of the body indicated scoliosis, a condition Richard III was known to suffer from. Multiple injuries to the skull also suggest a violent death and humiliation wounds. Consistent with the bloody end the king met at the battle of Bosworth. But the most conclusive evidence of all comes from analysis of the skeleton’s DNA. Samples of DNA were extracted from both the teeth and a femur. The samples were compared with known descendants of the Monarch by DNA profiling (genetic fingerprinting), and a match was found. Head of the excavation, Richard Buckley, believes the investigation will “serve as a benchmark for other studies”, leaving a positive legacy for both Richard III and archaeological science.
Fake Science @FakeScience Have Be vigilant: Now that meteors have left the your say. news, it’s the perfect time for them to attack again.
TheRabbitScience @SciRabbit Blog
Ancient, Old, Brand New: 7 Principles for Health and Well-being
Ancient civilisations believe the human body was like a temple – here are 7 natural ways to improve your health. 1) Air We are spiritual, air-breathing beings. The Latin word for breath is ‘spiritus’. Air is electrical and therefore vital. Air needs to circulate to electrify itself, so open your windows!
LEFT: Cinnamon sticks
TRIED & TESTED
Natural Remedies Here are some foods and simple mixtures for both males and females, addressing certain aspects of health. Before you read on, I must tell you that I am not a physician, but a passionate student of life! My friends and I have tried these, they worked for us and I hope they will help you too. You might not be thinking of having a baby any time soon, but when the time comes, avocadoes are full of vitamins which are particularly good at protecting unborn babies. They also contain natural anti-oxidants, lower your cholesterol and contain oleic acid which makes you feel fuller faster.
and cool off a little bit, apply lightly onto the skin and then scrub away with cold water. (Thank you Elche Doluner)
Cinnamon is a wonderful natural remedy for menstrual cramps because of its high manganese content, try putting cinnamon sticks into a cup of hot water for a delicious and healing tea.
Tribulus, sweet potatoes, yams and figs are rich in male hormones and good for overall male health.
For a skin-cleansing lotion: mix oatmeal, coconut oil and honey into a thick paste. Let it congeal
Mixing olive oil and salt will give you a great body scrub, when you have a thick paste, apply a little bit on to the skin and rinse very well. (Not for application on the face and intimate parts).
For gym users looking for high protein foods: bee pollen contains 40% protein, spirulina 65% and chlorella 60%
memory/ brain power include honey, almonds, walnuts, cauliflower and broccoli.
3) Water Just like the earth, our bodies contain more water than anything else. Water that sits is not electrical and will not hydrate you. To electrically charge water: pour water through the air into a cup, or shake the water bottle a couple of times. 4) Wholesome foods Choose local, fresh and seasonal foods for inner cleanliness. Wholesome, un-processed foods carry intelligence that we call nutrition.
Ginger root teas are ideal to soothe headaches and nausea.
5) Passion/gratitude In ancient times it was believed that making sacrifices and offerings provided moments of sensory passion and thankfulness - resulting in longevity.
For healthy eyes it is good to eat avocadoes, spirulina and berries (we see in colour so….eat colour rich foods!)
6) Healthy relationships Non-toxic relationships are the key. Surrounding yourself with positive, caring people will enrich the human experience.
To make your own cough syrup: mix equal quantities of honey and water. Add in one onion and one chopped clove of garlic, add sage or thyme and let steep overnight. Strain and use the liquid as a cough medicine.
7) Movement Life is movement. Regular exercise enlivens the nervous system, activates the lymphatic system and strengthens the structure and function of joints.
Catalin Voinea Foods
2) Sunlight Natural sunshine is essential to good health. It can help with skin conditions and also elevates the mood whilst improving immunity and metabolism.
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH | ISSUE 141
09:30 TSOM tour (costs €40 but worth every cent!)
e Do R
Recreate the classic film moments, dancing unashamedly through Mirabell Gardens
IMAGE 1: Above: Mirabell Gardens IMAGE 2: The Sound of Music Tour bus
14:00 Sit by the beautiful Salzach River with a bratwurst or pretzel
Birthplace of Mozart and home to my favourite film of all time, this cultural goldmine is located just over the easterly German border in Austria, making it a perfect day-trip destination if you are staying in Germany.
in Salzburg rt a z o M f o e c a l p h t Bir
Shopping in the Old Town/ Altstadt: traditional market stalls and craft shops as well as top designer stores
Whether you are a fan of the film or not, I cannot recommend The Sound of Music official bus tour highly enough! It takes four hours, but the amount of things packed in is unbelievable. All the major highlights of the film are covered; you will be taken to the amazing Mondsee Cathedral where Maria and your camera is well charged. Captain Von Trapp got married, the iconic pavilion where Liesl At the end of the tour you will be deposited back in the and Rolf danced and sang city centre, and even ‘Sixteen Going on though you will Seventeen’ and the ! e e S be exhausted stunning Mirabell t s Mu from all the fun Palace and nd of you’ve had – gardens where The Sou there’s more to the ‘Do Re Mi’ cial Music offi see! sequence was filmed, as well bus tour So revive yourself as many other with a gigantic beautiful locations. pretzel and head over Listening to the magical to the Altstadt district for soundtrack as you drive some retail therapy; the streets through the magnificent themselves are so picturesque alpine scenery, it truly you will think you’ve fallen into does make the hills seem a fairy tale, then round your alive! There are spectacular day off by visiting Mozarts photographic opportunities Geburthaus (the house where at every turn, so make sure Mozart was born) and as a last
There are spectacular photographic opportunities at every turn, so make sure your camera is well charged.
16:30 Visit Mozart’s birthplace (standard entry is €10)
17:30 Head to Café Fürst for the best apple strudel in the city
homage to TSOM - who can say no to schnitzel with noodles? Michelle Kitsell
1 YoHo International Youth Hostel offers twin rooms with a private bathroom for €30 per night and is located very close to both the airport and main train station. 2 If you’re going in the summer it’s best to book TSOM tour online in advance to make sure you get a place: www.viator. com 3 Shop around for the best flights: www.kayak.compa dusam
Hot and Sour Chicken SERVES 4 Noodle Soup
You will need: • 140g dried wholewheat noodles • 1 tbsp groundnut oil • 2 tbsp grated ginger • 1 medium red chilli , deseeded and finely chopped • 4 skinless, boneless chicken thighs , chopped into small chunks • 1 tbsp Shaohsing rice wine • 700ml hot vegetable stock • 4 chestnut mushrooms , sliced • 1 tsp dark soy sauce • 2 tbsp light soy sauce • 2 tbsp rice vinegar • 1 tbsp cornflour mixed with 2 tbsp cold water to make a paste • 1 handful beansprouts • 2 spring onions , sliced
Bring a small pan of water to the boil and cook the noodles following pack instructions. Drain, rinse under cold running water to stop them cooking further, then drizzle over a little oil to prevent them sticking together. Divide between 2 deep bowls.
Heat a wok over high heat and add the rest of the oil. When it starts to smoke, add the ginger and chilli, then stir-fry for a few seconds. Add the chicken and stir-fry for 2 mins. As the meat starts to turn brown, add the rice wine and cook for a further 3 mins. Add the vegetable stock, bring to a simmer, then add the mushrooms. Season with the dark soy, light soy and rice vinegar.
ALL THOSE CHEKED SHIRTS FROM MILK IT THEME NIGHTS WILL ACTUALLY COME IN HANDY Festivals will play host to cowboy inspired fashions this summer
Welcome to the Wild Wild West That’s right; the Western style trend is back in our fashion foreground. But s/s13 gives us Western like we’ve never seen before. The classic details, the tassels, embroidery and that number one staple denim, are applied in fun new ways and given a modern twist. The bolder ones among you might be tempted by the cowboy boots creeping into high street stores. In order to stay the fashionista side of
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Bring back to a simmer, then add the cornflour paste. Simmer and stir until thickened. Stir in the beansprouts and most of the spring onions, then ladle the soup over the noodles. Serve immediately, scattered with the remaining spring onions.
Dukes of Hazzard, favour an ankle length boot over the traditional knee high. For the more timid, a good bag is the best way to dip one’s toe into a trend as bold as this; one step too far and it’s fancy dress. A black clutch bag I spied in Miss Selfridge does the trick nicely. The cowboyesque tassels fringe only the bottom edge of the bag, giving it a Wild West allure without making you feel like a John Wayne wannabe. Kesi Johnson
Have your say.
NEW Blades supporterâ€™s range and kit available at everythingEssex now www.everythingessex.co.uk
Sports Ammar Al-Saad selected to represent GB Essex Student Ammar Al-Saad has recently been reselected to represent Great Britain in his sport, Taekwondo. Ammar has been part of the World Taekwondo Federation (WTF) for four years and has finally been given a second chance to fulfil his childhood dreams. Being in the British squad is nothing new to Ammar as he was first selected to represent his country in 2011 when he was just 17 . However the yearly selection process meant that unfortunately he was deselected in the following years, until now. His recent selection came about after Ammar’s attendance at the British National Championships this February. At this competition, Ammar was picked up by one of the GB coaches and soon received a letter informing him that he has been reselected as a member of the GB squad for 2013. With his new found recognition, Ammar is aiming to be selected for this year’s European and World Championships. Seeing as he trains over four times a week, there is no doubt that he will be in a fighting chance at accomplishing this goal. Ammar’s determination to succeed is what makes him one of the top Taekwondo athletes in Britain and also Europe. His motive to “aim high and never give up” puts hope in the idea that Essex may soon have a new world champion on campus. Jennifer Monger, Sports Editor
Essex Dance Jeté To Victory In an effort to top last year’s success, Essex Dance have been training and competing hard in preparation to bring back the trophies. In the last academic year, Essex was able to add a number of achievements to their records. Not only did they defeat UEA on derby day in all dance categories bar one, in which they drew, the club were successful in winning best overall university in competition ‘Expression 2012’ and were also awarded ‘Best University for Dance’ for the fourth year running on their most recent tour. Essex Dance are currently the largest sports club on campus and hope to continue their glory in all of the eight different dance categories they train in. So far this year Essex
have danced alongside ‘Twist and Pulse’ and Tyler James at a high profile charity event at Colchester’s Charter Hall. As well as this they have competed in the Buckinghamshire New University Dance Competition in which they came away with a total of five trophies. On Sunday 24th February, Essex Dance held their second ever dance competition ‘Expression 2013’. This competition saw the arrival of four universities who travelled to campus for a full day of sweat and dance in front of three specialised judges. As well as the competition, Essex Dance promised special performances, free-style battles and an awards ceremony in which all universities hoped to take away a trophy. Despite all their competitions, Essex Dance has found time to
allow those close to Essex to experience their moves. On the 21st and 22nd March, they will be holding their annual show at the Lakeside Theatre on campus. It will be a chance for all their members to showcase their talents and promises to be an exciting evening full of music, dance and surprises, as the club portrays the evolution of dance through time. The show is available to all to watch, and tickets can be purchased at the Lakeside Theatre website. For any information of the events mentioned, dance classes, or anything else please contact President, Hannah Burns firstname.lastname@example.org Jennifer Editor
FRIDAY 1ST MARCH | ISSUE 141
Fencing hope to place in BUCs cup final
Squash teams celebrate success Since the begging of the year, Squash have always been proud of the strength of play throughout their club. However, recent events have meant that tensions have risen within the club as teams start to meet each other in the final stages of competition.
After three Essex teams qualified for a place in the BUCs cup semi-finals, the likelihood that the cup would be coming back to Essex was high. On Wednesday 20th February the Women’s Hockey and Fencing teams as well as the Men’s Tennis team took to the playing field with hopes to secure a place in the BUCs final. Unfortunately the hockey and tennis teams were unsuccessful. After a time consuming match, the men’s tennis team lost their chance of a place in the final to Royal Holloway who beat Essex 10 games to 2. The women’s hockey team were equally unsuccessful. Despite their best efforts Royal Free University College beat Essex into the final with a 9-1 score behind them.
However all hope to bring the trophy back to the final is not lost. The women’s Fencing team were also due to compete in the semifinals against opponents University of Kent. However Kent’s failure to attend the match meant that Women’s Fencing have been given a lifeline. Although it has not yet been decided as to whether Essex will be awarded a walkover, the squad hope that this may be a blessing in disguise as they prepare for a possible position in the final against Sussex University. Jennifer Monger, Sports Editor
Essex Blades Netball finally brings back a win After a gruelling season of near misses, on Wednesday 13th February Essex Blades Netball 1st team could finally celebrate success after defeating second in their league Hertfordshire Royal Veterinary College by a total of eleven goals. The team started the first quarter with a positive attitude, by focusing on short passes and keeping possession they were able to fly themselves into a single point lead, leaving the quarter with a score of 8-7 to Essex. Some tactical changes in the second and third quarters allowed Essex to further their lead despite defensive pressure from Royal Vets. Player of the match Yasmin Harry was able to make some excellent interceptions against the Vets team, helping secure Essex in a 26-18 lead by the end of the third quarter. Despite Vets quick movement down the court, accurate passes and excellent attack, Essex’s defence were successfully able to ward off the goals returning possession into the attacking circle. The fourth quarter required constant focus from shooters Abi Marshall and Ellie Wynee who were able to make a number of consecutive goals. The team were able to leave the game with high spirits after achieving a 38-27 win against Royal Vets. They are determined to maintain their new found confidence and determination throughout the rest of the season, where they hope to be bringing back more points to the Essex league tables. Jennifer Monger, Sports Editor
At the beginning of February the squash teams made an awesome feat where three teams made it into the semifinals of the BUCs cup. Although both the first and second men’s squads soared through the quarters, they were now to meet each other head on as they secured a place against each other in the semi-finals which was played on Wednesday 20th February. In the semi’s Essex’s 1st team proved victorious and are now preparing for their final which is to take place on Derby Day. The women’s teams have also proved successful within the club. Their 4-0 win against Roehampton University allowed them to cruise through to the semi-finals where they are to meet University College London. The team anticipate a tough match ahead of them, but they are hopeful that they will be able to secure a place in the final against Reading which will be played on Wednesday 13th March. Jennifer Monger, Sports Editor
Team of the week
Jodie Dove President
One to watch: Amber Woodward How long have you been involved in your sport?
What move do you find most difficult? Why?
On and off for about 4 years, however I only really got into it properly once I joined uni.
The most difficult move I found to learn was the back somersault What is your greatest achievement?
Do you have a favourite move/routine? Why? My favourite move is probably a barani, just because it’s a fun move to do.
My greatest achievement was either learning to actually do a back somersault or coming 12th out of 50 in my first competition.
Contacts President: Jodie Dove
Volunteering Sec: Honor Morris
Vice President: Tilly James
Competition Sec: Esra Oman
Social Sec: Lizzie Wilson
Treasurer: Luciano Fioresi
“Trampolining is a competitive but fun sport to take part in. Here at Essex we are a mixed club of both gender and ability. This year we have welcomed more members than previous years, making our trampolining family bigger than ever. Our sessions consist of gymnastics, trampolining and conditioning exercises. As well as our training sessions, we volunteer with a local primary school to give other children the chance to experience bouncing! Overall, we are a friendly enthusiastic club and are always looking to encourage new members to give it a try whether they have bounced before or not.” Social The social side of trampolining is very active. We regularly attend sports fed, encouraging everyone to bond as a team. Our friendly atmosphere means we often meet up outside of training whether it’s for fundraising or just to have a laugh. At the end of every term it’s our tradition to go out together and enjoy an evening meal and drinks. When we travel for competitions we socialise with member of the other clubs and have made some great friends along the way so always look forward to meeting up with them around the country. Of course the biggest social of the year is tour; previously we have been to Salou however this year we are all looking forward for some fun in Croatia.
TUESDAY 22ND JANUARY | ISSUE 138
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An ace result from Essex Mixed Golf Team see them soaring into Finals! Essex Mixed Golf Team was lucky in securing a place in the BUCs semi-finals after Royal Holloway failed to turn up to their quarter final round. However in securing a place in the semi-finals, it also meant that Essex would be up against University of Kent, who are currently top of the league. Eager to qualify, Essex started with high spirits and determination to win. Christian McMillan was successful in securing the first point for Essex, the following point being won by Sam Mason. By this point the tie was definitely swinging in Essex’s favour and Kent were bringing out all stops in the hope for semi-final glory.
With a 2-0 lead, Essex was hopeful for another point on the green from President Robbie Walker. Although all was going well, the eighth tee meant that the Essex side took a turn for the worst when an uncharacteristic outburst meant that Walker was left with a broken driver. This set Kent at an advantage, allowing their captain to gain a point against Essex, bridging the point gap between both teams. All hopes for a win were now laid upon the fresher’s of the team however the pressure of a semi-final did not detriment their game. Elliot Chandler and Mitch McAuley fought bravely to secure a win for Essex however a few
unsuccessful holes meant that the pressure was left on the remaining member of the team Constance Frayssineau. Managing to keep her nerve throughout Frayssineau left the green with a solid win against Kent proving here importance and solidarity to the team.
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Essex’s victory has not only left them just two points behind
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