Page 1

Tuesday 22nd January

ISSUE 138 U niversity


E sse x ’ s

S tu d ent

N ewspaper





Students Targeted by Thieves




Can Comedy Go Too Far?



Introducing... HAIM



Winter in The Big Apple

”The biggest issue though is that no students outside of the Sabbatical Officers were consulted.”

SU responds to ticket trial concerns full story on p2


News Editorial Greg Bailey On behalf of myself and the Rabbit team I would like to welcome everyone back to Essex. I hope everyone massively enjoyed their break. You may have noticed a few changes; the Rabbit has had a facelift. But we’re not all about looks here, what’s inside counts just as much. This issue has some great stories for you packed in this runway model of a student paper. You will find shock SU resignations, CBEs, southern fried brains and of course ‘Ticketgate’. All of this is just in the first few beautiful pages. Deeper inside is an interview with a bond girl, a review of The Psychopath Test and our sexy volley balling girls and boys as our Team of the Week. We have Valentines Special coming up where we have sent a single girl and boy from Essex to attend a seduction master class at the London School of Attraction. Make sure you grab a copy of the next issue to find out who our Lotharios are and how they fair putting into practise what they learn. I mentioned in the first issue we are striving to constantly improve the Rabbit to give you the student paper you deserve. We would love to hear your comments and views on any other the stories you have read so please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Lastly I would like to thank; Annette Simpson for her design wizardry, my deputy Rachel, my designers Laurry and Ali and Steve for all of you help and guidance putting everything together.

Contact Us: Editor: Greg Bailey Deputy Editor: Rachel McGrath Head Designer: Ali Shah


Campus nights out still a success despite worries over new offline only ticketing system In an unforeseen move, the Student’s Union removed the ability to buy tickets online for the first week of term., the SU website, stated that ’tickets are only available on the door’ as part of a trial run of an offline ticketing system. The move led to many students voicing concerns via Facebook and Twitter. An email sent to SU President Nathan Bolton and copied onto Facebook has received over 150 ‘likes’. “Students who live off campus, guests and alumni don’t want to leave pre-drinks when there’s no guarantee that we’ll get in,” states Henry Stevens, in the email. “In this day and age why does there need be a huge queue outside? This isn’t Liquid. It’s the Union; we should be treated as members, not customers.” A number of comments focus on what they consider to be a lack of communication between the SU and its members.  “The biggest issue is that no students outside of the Sabbatical Officers were consulted, not even the elected entertainments committee, and once the decision was made nobody made a statement explaining

why you have changed to this system.” adds one student.

At Monday’s Milk It the average queuing time was 6 minutes A lengthy apology was published on the Student Union Facebook page on 9 January and gave a number of reasons for the trial including saving money, shorter queues and the ability to sell more tickets by eliminating “noshow” online buyers.

Nathan Bolton SU President explains: “We’re always looking at ways of improving our nights out, so set up this one-week trial to test out a different way of getting into the venues.” On Monday, the average queuing time for Milk It was 6 minutes and while it was busy, it did not sell out. The majority of students were in the venue by 12:30 and any who turned up before 01:30 were not turned away. The SU has monitored queue times over the week and carrying out surveys to obtain your feedback all results will be posted on the Students Unions’ Facebook page. Michael Thorns and Greg Bailey, Editor

Your Comment Omid Safi

“I live off campus, so I wasn’t happy when I heard about the trial, but after going out I had no problems getting in and I didn’t even end up waiting that long.”

Your Comment Ben Griggs

“I think this move shows that they are more concerned with money than students. I just don’t see how this will make it easier for me.”

Tuesday 22nd January | ISSUE 138



Chris Fowler in Shock Resignation international

Egyptian Official: Israel Won’t Exist In 10 Years Essam el-Erian, who also serves as an adviser to President Mohammed Mursi of Egypt, has said that Israel will cease to exist within a decade. el-Erian, also deputy head of the Muslim Brotherhood’s political arm, spoke to Egyptian Channel ONTV. In the statement he encouraged Egyptianborn Jews to return to their home country and depart Israel. Erian told the channel “Jewish occupiers of the territory of historic

Palestine are an obstacle to the Palestinians’ right of return. Anyone who can read the future can see that this project has a decade, less than a decade to go, and it is our faith that the people of Palestine can then return to Palestine”. The official also spoke to Dream TV, and was quoted as saying “It is better for Jews to live in a country like Egypt rather than in a country contaminated by occupation” Eleanor Brimelow, International News Editor

The New Year starts with the sudden announcement that Chris Fowler VP of Services and Communications has resigned from his post. As Fowler’s role is an elected one, a replacement has not yet been appointed. Now with the elections for next year’s Sabbatical Officers looming ever closer a possibility of a new candidate filling this position looks slim. Fowler’s manifesto is full of beneficial pledges that now look like they will be unaccomplished. He promised things such as; driving down prices on campus for better overall value, keeping all venues fully stocked, providing the best Summer Ball yet and most importantly having students’ voice heard and making them a big input into the University of Essex.

STUDENT Commenting on his decision Fowler said: “I began to review my role within the SU as I felt it was more limited than the job description originally suggested. When I accepted the job I was very proud and excited to be given the opportunity to achieve real change and everything set out in my manifesto. As time went on I felt there were factors which constrained my

performance in this position. It was with regret I decided to step down so I could pursue an opportunity in the field I want to build a career in. However it is a dream job and I wish the best of luck to any candidate running in the election as you will get the chance to work with some great people.” Greg Bailey, Editor

Kentucky Fried Cranium Unfortunately, Ibrahim Langoo didn’t make a smart choice when it came to his lunch. Colchester Institute student Ibrahim Langoo has been featured in national headlines after he was left horrified, when he found what appeared to be a chicken brain in his KFC Gladiator box meal.

and insisted that there was no risk to health. They did however acknowledge that the finding was “unsightly”.

The student was visiting the Colchester High Street branch of KFC with a friend for lunch when he made the shocking discovery. Ibrahim described feeling “grim” and “really sick”.

Despite being offered vouchers as compensation Ibrahim vowed he will never eat at the fast food chain again - “I never want to eat KFC again - in Colchester or anywhere else. I’ll eat chicken at home, where I can see how it has been prepared.”

He says: “I couldn’t bring myself to pick the lump up so I went to the serving counter to complain.” After being ignored by staff Ibrahim took a picture of the meal on his smart phone; it wasn’t until he left the branch and complained online that KFC took the complaint seriously. Upon further investigation, KFC said they believed the foreign organ was actually a liver

Nick Atling



Thieves Target Essex Students

inspiring quotes “You’re happiest while you’re making the greatest contribution” Robert F. Kennedy

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. Wayne Gretzky

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. Eleanor Roosevelt

“If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves”. Thomas Edison

LOCAL Two members of the women’s rugby team have recently had their phones stolen while out in Colchester. The Essex students were targeted by thieves, particularly in popular venues such as Missoula and Yates. Final-year student Ida Delic spoke to the Rabbit about the time she had her phone stolen on a night out in town: “I was out in Missoula on a Saturday with my friends. I didn’t notice

till after I had left the club that someone had taken my Iphone out of my blazer pocket. I had to go to the police station the next day to make a statement so I could claim on my insurance. When I was there the police told me I was one of 25 people who had reported a stolen phone on that night.” Ida added that claiming on her insurance was a long process which disrupted her studies, and that since the incident she has been “more wary” on nights out. Natilly Macartney, Local News Editor

If you have any information relating to either incident contact local police on 101.


Man Attacked on New Year’s Day Local police are renewing their request for more information after a twentyfive year old man was attacked on New Years’ day. The incident took place in the early hours of the morning on the premises of the Silk Road Lounge and Cocktail bar in St Botolphs Street in Colchester town centre. The victim, who was said to have been enjoying the New Years’ celebrations with friends, had to be hospitalised after the vicious assault left him with a triple fracture to his jaw.


90,000 Students Branded ‘fake’ Following the news that London Metropolitan lost its license to enrol international students, warnings have been made over as many as 90,000 “fake” foreign students in the UK. The University lost its license in August 2012. The move prompted warnings by other universities over foreign students who may have failed to enrol on courses or who had stopped attending classes. Mark Harper, Immigration Minister, said London Metropolitan University It is believed by police, that the victim was approached and assaulted by one of the men from a group who had been thrown out of the bar earlier in the evening by security. Detective Constable Eva Woods of Colchester Police said: “One of those ejected was a white man, in his mid 20s, with short dark brown hair and tattoos on both arms. He was wearing a white t-shirt. We would like to talk to him in connection with this investigation.” This attack is one of seventeen that Colchester police responded to throughout the News Years’ celebrations, and is an example of the growing violence in the town centre. Meena Ameen

served as “a lesson” to institutions over “what would happen if they didn’t meet their sponsorship requirements.” A parliamentary report on the matter warned that international students should not be the target of the Governments investigations in immigration, because it could potentially damage the the quality and competitiveness of British universities, and the UK’s reputation. Eleanor Brimelow, International News Editor

Your Comment Philip Sanderson

“I’ve never felt at risk at Essex, but these stories remind me that I should be wary when out in town. You never know what could happen!”

Tuesday 22nd January 2013 | ISSUE 138






Professor Ades awarded CBE

STUDENT Professor Dawn Ades from the School of Philosophy and Art History at Essex has received a CBE for services to higher education and Art History in the New Year’s Honours List. Founding director of the University of Essex Collection of Latin American Art (UECLAA), now the Essex Collection of Art from Latin America (ESCALA), Professor Ades is one of the UK’s most influential art historians and curators. She said: “I am very pleased to receive the CBE.  I regard the award also as recognition of the wider achievements of Art History at the University, and the success of ESCALA.”

Professor Ades has been responsible for some of the most important exhibitions in London and overseas over the past thirty years, including Dada and Surrealism Reviewed, Art in Latin America: the modern era 1820-1980, Undercover Surrealism and The Colour of my Dreams: The Surrealist Revolution in Art and Francis Bacon. She also organised the highly successful exhibition to celebrate the centenary of Salvador Dali’s birth. The exhibition was shown in Venice and Philadelphia in 2004. Jatinder Kalsi, Student News Editor


Marios Mariosa Snaps up Photography Award Clear winner in Christmas Photography Competition. Last term University of Essex’s Facebook page ran a winter photography competition. The competition was looking for people to submit photographs which they thought captured the Christmas atmosphere or winter weather on campus. The page was flooded with entries throughout December up until the deadline of 2nd January. Thousands of students and alumni voted for the photograph they liked best online.

Get Involved This term all societies and clubs are half price as part of the ‘New Year New You’ scheme. Societies will be out and about on the squares in the next two weeks, while memberships are half price offer. They are looking to advertise their societies and recruit so look out for any you are interested in! For more information contact either Dominic King, dking@, or Becky Fisher,, or the SAD Team at sadteam@essex.

There were two photographs that received over a thousand votes each. The winning photograph (pictured above) was captured by Marios Mariosa and received a staggering 1,494 votes. The photograph has received an overwhelming amount of positive comments of the University’s Facebook page. Dimasis Konstantinos simply said ‘breathtaking’ whilst Gemma Tunbridge stated ‘this should definitely be in the prospectus.’ Marios Mariosa will receive a £100 gift voucher of his choice as a reward for winning the competition.

Runner Up: Giannis Politis

Have your say.

The Rabbit:News @Rabbit News

To take a look at all the entries in the competition visit www. Jatinder Kalsi, Student News Editor

Friday 18th January 2013 | ISSUE 138


Help to protect yourself and your belongings at uni...

1 in 5 STUDENTS has either lost their computer or had it stolen or damaged at some point during their time at university.

of STUDENTS did not back up their uni work.

50% of break-ins are through unlocked doors and windows.


570,000 bikes stolen every year.

Unbeatable laptop and mobile phone replacement in

Get a quote. Visit Call 0800 028 3571 / 01282 672 108

24 hours*

/endsleigh us on facebook

@endsleigh Follow us on twitter

*24 hours represents 1 working day from us approving your claim. Endsleigh Insurance Services Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority. This can be checked on the FSA Register by visiting its website at Endsleigh Insurance Services Limited. Company No: 856706 registered in England at Shurdington Road, Cheltenham Spa, Gloucestershire GL51 4UE. Source: Endsleigh claims statistics 2012, NUS Services limited 2012, Experian 2012 and Wheelies 2012.


Comment There’s No Reason to be Offended by Comedy Not so long ago Channel 4 aired the 2012 edition of “Big Fat Quiz of the Year”, you may have watched it. I did not see any of the show and so do not care about the content and if you did not see it you shouldn’t either but I do care about the fact that the Daily Mail cares. Not a Moral Authority Leaving aside the content of the programme (which no doubt left readers deeply enraged), a bigger issue lurks in the background: offence. There is no reason to be offended by comedy, even in its crudest form. The medium is not a serious one and cannot be considered a reliable authority. To claim such humour might validate prejudices is unpleasantly patronising; essentially saying “we know it’s a joke but lesser minds won’t; the humour is too subtle, too complex.”  

Martin Besserman: “We’re a democracy here and if we’re going to have comedy in a democracy, especially satire then anything has to go really. If you don’t like it, you walk out.”

More importantly, comedy is contractual. Very few people accidentally stumble into a theatre, or channel hop to a comedy show and watch or listen until they are offended.

Kit Cherry says


Your say, your way. We’d love to hear from you, facebook, tweet or email us!

Lexi Keegan says


Should Comedy Be Taken Seriously? From Jack Whitehall to Frankie Boyle, comedians are under fire, when does comedy go too far? By seeking out any form of entertainment one essentially signs a contract agreeing that they accept the content as legitimately being there. In the realm of comedy this means that one must acquiesce to the topics discussed within. Comedy has integral value This isn’t some dull shout of “you watched it what did you expect?”, it is merely the suggestion that the content claimed to be offensive is contextually appropriate and has value in and of itself, as well as in relation to other sections of a performance. “I am offended by that” is nothing more than a whine and one I will have no truck with.   Neither should you.

Rape Jokes Perpetuate Rape Culture You have free speech but why would you say that? You joke that gay is repulsive, women are commodities or that blacks are criminals. If you believe that then you are prejudiced and intolerant. If not, why say it? There is a difference between clever satire and using lazy and inaccurate stereotypes to grab a cheap laugh. Deconstruct racist jokes and there is no irony, no social commentary – just prejudice. Comedy desensetises Many people are genuinely intolerant, and jokes that poke fun at a characteristic inherent like race or disability are just used to bully and victimise. Misogyny is apparently hilarious: tell a joke about gang rape and it is never the rapist we laugh at. Jokes that reduce women to sex objects perpetuate rape culture, and rape culture is one reason why violence against women isn’t taken seriously. Comedy means responsibilty Good comedy is more than just laughing at people who are different. It is clever wordplay, irony and parody. Great comics are rare for good reason - ever tried to write a joke? It is hard. Free speech is not an excuse to be a prick. Do comedy a favour: be smart or be gone.

DO YOU HAVE AN OPINION? Let us know and we’d be glad to hear from you! You may even get published.

Tuesday 22nd January | ISSUE 138

You Have to be Funny! I recently welcomed a rare success: I told a funny story. While I paused to let my audience catch their breath, a thought came to me. What would it be like to be a real comedian? That itself is a joke, yet I did pause to consider it. It seems pretty good: touring the world, making thousands laugh and earning a lot of money in the process. But where’s the fun in that? Sure, it’s empowering to have people at your comical mercy; but wouldn’t it be more enjoyable to be the one laughing rather than the one making the jokes? I’m

no genius, but I woud rather be sat down, warm, lightly drunk and laughing my head off; than be stood alone on a stage facing thousands, struggling to remember every joke I intend upon telling, and then tell them correctly. Then, on top of all of this you actually have to be funny! If this wasn’t enough, Imagine that after going through all of this heart attackinducing performance horror, you then need to drive through the night to your next theatre, and do it all again, and again, and again. Be a comedian? You must be having a laugh. Jake Stones

Why Women Aren’t Funny When was the last time a female comedian became the headline of such a controversial media scandal as the one Jack Whitehall currently faces? In fact, when was the last time any stand-up comedienne was

Martin Besserman: I went on a radio show last year and suggested something similar. But in retrospect, I have to eat my hat because there are some really good [female comedians] ... [Although] I think it may be a bit harder for female comedians to make an audience laugh.

at the forefront of any scandal? Of course there are less, but we must ask why. Obviously, some of Catherine Tate’s earlier sketches were genius, but for some reason, give a woman fifteen minutes to talk on stage and the magic goes. There is something

Have your say.

about a man’s perspective that just seems to give us a giggle. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure my preparations for a first date would give every female out there a laugh or two, but not so many for men. Perhaps it is not that women lack humour but, for some reason that it simply doesn’t translate to an audience. A woman making an observation on her life can reek of nagging, and is not television-worthy. Like engineering, perhaps comedy is simply a more masculine environment. Not to say that women cannot be comedians, but unlike other roles in the performance industry, the comic sphere simply doesn’t hold the same level of attraction for women. Christopher Hitchens argues, “Men do not want women to be funny. They want them as an audience not as rivals.” Camela Cuison

HOT TOPIC “I think political satire should just be taken with a pinch of salt. The probability is that it was all engineered beforehand with the objective of getting some publicity out of it. Jack Whitehall, although he’s on telly a lot, is not a household name yet. But they [management, etc] would like him to be. It’s all in the name of satire. I expect it was all aimed at getting a bit of publicity. It’s all harmless stuff and it worked. They did things like this with Russell Brand.” Martin Besserman on Jack Whitehall in Channels 4’s Big Fat Quiz of the Year

Comedy Should be Taken With a Pinch of Salt


Martin Besserman, owner of the Monkey Business Comedy Club For the full interview visit The Rabbit Comment blog at

Martin Besserman has been the manager of the Monkey Business Comedy Club since 2004. Having been performing poetry and public speaking since the age of 16, Martin took the step to open the comedy club, quickly becoming one of London’s top stand-up venues, playing host to a myriad of big names and rising stars. What makes a good comedian? Every comedian has to work hard and has to be in tune with the particular audience. A comic can write some great lines and deliver it well but there’s more to it than that. He has to be in tune with the audience. It’s quite a skill. How do you get big names to perform at your club? It doesn’t just happen. You build up relationships over a period of time. Now I have a very good relationship with Lee Nelson (Simon Brodkin) Harry Hill’s another one. He put in 4 [gigs] last year. [It] is really important to broaden up these relationships and they don’t forget you. Does a joke need to offend or push boundaries in order to be funny? I don’t think it’s always essential for comics to be controversial in order to get laughs. The problem is that if there are too many comedians that have a dark side to their comedy it becomes irritating in the end because no longer is it rebellious or anarchic.

No, Your Life is Not a Sitcom Sitcoms are not real life. Your friend who is “totally like Chandler from friends” may be hilariously useless with women in a feeble and yet endearing way, but unlike Chandler he probably won’t marry his gorgeous best friend. He will be spending his evenings alone, tears dribbling down his unshaven cheeks, desperately wishing that it was a girlfriend that he was burying his face in, and not a cheap, greasy chicken burger. Depressed? Then you’re ready to explore the dark and devastating ways in which sitcoms are nothing like real life. 1.)    How I Met Your Mother: Meeting the mother of your children will involve sambuca and failed contraception. Neil Patrick Harris will not be involved in any way.

4) Friends:  In a sitcom, if you’ve had sex with all your friends it means you’re on Season 6. In real life, you’ve just got chlamydia.

2.)   Everybody Loves Raymond: You are not Ray, everybody doesn’t love you. You know Sarah? From your Wednesday morning seminar? She really hates you man, sorry.

And there you have it, a comprehensive guide to why sitcoms are better than your real life. Why fight it? Just do what I do, sit back, open a beer and watch T.V until either the alcohol or T.V screen make you go blind. It works for me.

3) Frasier: On TV talking like Frasier is endearing and charming. In real life, talking like Frasier will get you punched in the face.

Jack Peach

The Rabbit:Comment @Rabbit Comment



m a o f s v t n i Pa The messiest events of last term get brought together for a night of pure wet and wild fun! Definitely dont wear anything you’re planning on wearing again!

n a J h t M sun 26

A 0 0 : 3 10:30pm


r A B u S e h t n i e t antido 2 drinks in the su 9-11 each

Buy te o id t n a l ia c e p s r saturday forhyaotugets you access to wristband t ks offers in sub zero some great drnint dj’s playing in Su bar + Stude

Tuesday 22nd January | ISSUE 138




Artist in Focus



raffiti. Loosely translated to “art” by some and the act of meaningless vandalism by others. The clean-up operations in place to remove it cost the tax payer millions every year, but why must all graffiti be seen as a pollution of public space? One of the most popular street artists of modern times, known as Banksy, has had a tremendous influence on the public’s views of current issues, with his stencilled satirical pieces. Many will agree that his art does indeed take a great deal of skill and technique to produce, but it is his place of production that has people debating whether he is a true artist, or merely another criminal that has emerged from allegedly the suburbs of Bristol. Whilst some other graffiti “artists” simply place what have colloquially become known as tags on the walls of buildings, such as the old cinema on Crouch Street, others such as Banksy are simply using a new type of media to convey their ideas, in the same way that other artists Banksy’s do; replacing a ten by ten foot controversial canvas with a wall, and the art world’s elitist critics with art form has the commuters of London to been taken to enlighten, or simply brighten up their morning a little. the next level. It is in light of this we must ask whether graffiti all comes under one banner of vandalism or is gradually evolving from the idea of a fifteen year old teenager with nothing better to do on a Saturday night, to an emerging artist trying to be heard. Joseph Gunner

Graffiti: Art or Crime? T

he idea of limiting art to display simply in galleries and museums has always seemed odd to me. The context and environment of a piece is crucial to its nature, which is why graffiti can, and should, be considered art. Art is appealing because it targets a fundamental part of every human. Art evokes emotion - it makes us laugh, cry, or perhaps make us angry. Above all it should make us think, question and feel. In this sense, the legality of a piece of art is irrelevant to its legitimacy, whilst also central to its meaning. Consider for a moment the case of the feminist punk protest-art collective Pussy Riot. Their defiance in illegally performing at a Moscow Cathedral in February 2012 not only enhanced the messages behind their music but also made them more powerful than they could ever be when merely played on a CD, regardless of how

loud they play guitar. The members of Pussy Riot are considered criminals in their native Russia because of these performances, yet they would not be the artists they are were it not for the ‘criminal’ behaviour. If I were to tag the LTB building tomorrow, I would be treated as a criminal, and rightly so. However, the message of rebellion expressed through the medium of paint is artistic. In this way, graffiti is both vandalism and art, whether it be Banksy’s ‘Flower Bomber’ or the ‘EDL’ tag on the wall next to Tesco. In the latter case, you might think it mindless extremist ignorance. You’d be right of course, but the act of rebellion and controversial intent in those three letters is as much art as Pussy Riot’s performance a year ago. The anger it causes me every time I walk past it only proves how powerful the media of graffiti can be. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Adam Bond

Great Art – Is it all in the Wrist? The masters of the old frescoes were in competition for commissions and recognition; one main aspect of this was the technique a painter adopted. The pursuit for perfection was for things to look ‘real’ even if they were not. The fresco had to make it appear as though the viewer was looking at nature. Though does ‘good’ painting just come down to the technique? If it is all in the wrist, then surely some of the graffiti of our age could be considered alongside the great masters. Perspective has, of course, shifted away from being about an artist trying to attain the perfect replication of nature, to putting across a message - hence why art is moving onto the streets. So, perhaps graffiti should be considered the new fresco. Lewis Butler, Arts Editor


Music Music’s Best Frontman Who Gets Your Vote? Fronting a band is never easy and on top of that what makes the ‘best’ frontman (or woman) can be measured by many different means. How do they engage with the crowd? To what degree does she dress like a maniac let loose at the Miss Selfridge sale? Some might immediately cite Kurt Cobain or Freddie Mercury as their idols, whilst others lean more towards Morrissey or Joe Strummer. But who is the greatest frontman of OUR generation? We take a look at three often overlooked contenders. 1. Fred MacPherson (Spector) Leading synth-pop band Spector from the front line, Fred MacPherson’s unmistakable humour and most off-the-wall style separate him from the pack. His outrageous, signature Hawaiianstyle shirts and cream suits and over the top stage-persona are reminiscent of Buddy Holly were he to raid the wardrobe of George Michael (pre-filth, perhaps in WHAM). You’ll seldom see a frontman pause mid-song to comb his own slicked-back locks, but Fred is just that kind of guy. 2. Karen O (Yeah Yeah Yeahs) Karen O manages to maintain a healthy dose of sex appeal whilst dressed in outfits which only Lady Gaga would envy. If you’ve seen Yeah Yeah Yeahs live before, this is something you definitely will have noticed. Coupled with her ability to command the stage like Catwoman who has overdosed on catnip, she is by far the strongest female contender. Karen O, we salute you. 3. Pete Doherty (Libertines, Babyshambles) The more drunk and defiant Pete Doherty seems on-stage, the more we relish his presence. Even when he failed to make a number of performances due to imprisonment, I still could not be angry at him - things like this are exactly why we like him. But, when he does finally make it onstage, his much-talked about personal life does not overshadow his music. Yes, he is rough around the edges but he’s a good lad at heart – a quick listen to the lyrics of his solo material will tell you this. Mark Wood

Mumford & Sons @ O2 Arena, London Mumford & Sons’ second album Babel, was released on 25 September 2012 and boy did I count down the days until the late December gig. . . Babel was met with mixed opinions, with one memorable review stating that Marcus’s voice was far too gritty this time round. Since then they have been nominated in six categories for the 55th Grammys, including Album of the Year (and strangely best Americana Album). If ever a journalist looked like a fool… Sigh No More charged into my life in 2009 - it really was a case of love at first sight. The thing is, Mumford are not simply a band I fell in love with; they are the one I fell in love to. After Sigh No More had become the backing track to summer romances, how could the second album possibly disappoint me?

I first saw them at Reading 2010, after muscling my way to the fourth row of a dangerously over-packed NME tent. I was worried as to how their songs would be played out in the vast arena, but it was misplaced anxiety. Here I was a mere two years later, in the O2’s top balcony for their extended Tour of Two Halves. It seemed a million miles away from the band that I could once get so close to. From our elevated position it would be understandable to feel rather isolated, especially when the songs seem to demand such an intense level of intimacy. In an arena that has the potential to hold 23 000 people (and I would say this gig was not far from maximum capacity) the band’s ability to include those of us sitting 100 metres away was stretched. But from my position, one could see the band’s influence on its fans. Like the layout of 2 years ago, the four band members simply

stood side by side and let the music do the talking. While lead vocalist Marcus has been careful to not overstate his religious upbringing and its influence on his music, one would be blind not to see the positive magnetism that Mumford & Sons bring to the stage. As the triumphant I Will Wait played out, the ripples of jumping bodies down below and around us was proof enough that all the joy that the band intended was present. Every painful note of Holland Drive touched each member of the audience, while a 23 000 strong choir belted out the classics such as Sigh No More and Roll Away Your Stone. The exuberance of the music is something that sadly cannot be translated through mp3. Being there was simply good for the soul. Camela Cuison

TUESDAY 22ND January | ISSUE 138

HMV in Administration: Who Has The Time for CDs Anyway? HMV are not the first to suffer the from economic situation. Remember Virgin Megastores and subsequently Zavvi? Gone. Shoppers need to realise they are rapidly running out of places to buy music in the high street. Music fans are voicing their upset over the loss of the music titan. It must be noted however, that most commented on their love of browsing the music, but not actually buying much. I think we’ve found the problem here. In the world of business, if someone’s selling something cheaper than you, you’re probably going to lose out. I am sad, but to be honest I can’t remember the last time I bought a CD that wasn’t from Amazon.

While Amazon and similar sites are pricing them out of the market, are we not only seeing the end of HMV, but CDs as a whole? We’ve had vinyls, cassettes and now CDs may be perishing in the world of digitisation. I love music, but it’s rare that I’ll listen to a CD on a CD player - I just burn it to iTunes. People listen to music as much as ever, but with the availability of Spotify and Youtube, who has time for CDs anymore? It is possible there will be a revival of CDs in a few years, much like the current trend for vinyl. In fact, I’m sure in 10 years, we’ll have the new hipsters listening to Cassettes again… Keir Waller, Deputy Music Editor


HAIM California sisters HAIM are set to take 2013 by storm, let’s just hope the weather doesn’t follow suit... Since winning the BBC Sound of 2013, Haim have instantly become better known across the UK. The annual poll has brought the likes of Adele, Foals and Franz Ferdinand into the limelight over the years and now it’s Haim’s turn to take

Fleetwood Mac on numerous occasions, but also been Destiny’s Child; how does that make sense or rather, how does that sound like an enjoyable listen? Well, it does not really make sense on paper but it does to the ear. However their unique blend works; the likes of Florence & the Machine and Mumford & Sons seem to agree with this too, having taken Haim on tour with them in 2012. Few artists pushing for stardom can ever write that on their list of achievements; everyone seems to see a unique spark in Haim.

Yet to release an album, we are restricted to listening to the ‘Forever EP’ from July 2012.

Haim are fresh and different from anything around at the moment, something the music scene has definitely lacked in recent years. Their debut album is due out in March on Polydor Records.

They have been compared to

Rebecca Excell, Music Editor

the spotlight - even if they did form back in 2006.




Track Reviews


H a v i n g supported Spector on tour, Birmingham quartet Swim Deep are beginning to set the scene ahead of their own headline tour in February. Latest single ‘The Sea’ is so upbeat that it guarantees to instigate temporary memory-loss (long enough for you to forget your failed resolutions). There’s a distinct ‘90s edge; Austin Williams’s voice lazily sways among the chiming synth and echoing arpeggios; the growing guitar in the background adding a grungy-edge without interrupting the party. It feels bizarre listening to ‘The Sea’ in Winter but don’t let that put you off, ‘The Sea’ is a ray of sunshine in an otherwise grim looking January.

HHHHH BASTILE: POMPEII Bastille have really come into their own within the last year and 2013 looks to be no different for the Londonbased electropop outfit. ‘Pompeii’ has the massive hooks we have come to associate with the band and the instantly infectious melodies that have propelled them to where they are today. Dan Smith’s simplistic, yet enigmatic lyrics are also still present; demonstrating the all too rare feat of balancing of simple lyrics with abstract meaning. The tribal chants throughout the track give it an undoubtedly epic and uplifting feel. Release date: 24 February. Mark Wood







You have to want to do it so much that the idea that you couldn’t would break your heart


Samantha Bond Samantha Bond and I meet in a busy National Theatre she glides in to the NT foyer, gives me a firm handshake, then I’m whisked off to the coffee counter. Bond is the daughter of actor Phillip Bond and television producer Pat Sandys. She trained at the Bristol Old Vic. She has had a seriously successful career, on stage and on screen. Perhaps best known as Moneypenny in the Pierce Brosnan years of ‘James Bond’: “I mean the bit that is alarming

is that I haven’t made one of them for ten years and will never make another one” But being a ‘Bond girl’ does have its advantages, it changes the way the press view you if you’re trying to push something from a charity point of view, it’s a huge bonus” she smiles. Nowadays, you can often see Bond making guest appearances in ‘Downton Abbey’, ‘Outnumbered’, she is quite often heard on the radio, and on various London stages. “My favourite is the

theatre; I love the immediacy of it, no-one can edit your performance, no-one can light you so you look more beautiful. It is absolutely about, your integrity, your honesty, so that’s my first love” I ask if she has any advice for students who want to become actors; “Yeah. You have to want to do it so much that the idea that you couldn’t would break your heart. “ “There’s a terrifying statistic, which means that of a 100%

The rabbit meets miss moneypenny

of actors, only4% work all the time and 11% earn a living. And you need to know that if that’s what you want to do. It’s very interesting because the media talk to people who are successful, but for every one of us there are 4,000 who never will be.” “It’s very easy to just buy the success of people like Benedict Cumberbatch, but the reality of this job is very different.” Naomi Jeffreys, Film Editor

Tuesday 22nd January | ISSUE 138



Opportunity: FDA Cinema Showcase Life is about opportunity, about the choices we are given and the choices we make. They say that, “when you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.” Recently, I have been given the opportunity to see exclusive new films which are to be shown at an exclusive Media and Trade Preview event, to be held in the heart of London. The films include: ‘I Give it a Year’, ‘Wreck it Ralph’, ‘Lincoln’ and many more. The event is also set to have Q and As with actors, directors and filmmakers who are at the heart of the multi-billion pound film business. Film is a wonderful entertainment medium, which can be both an individual and a group experience. There is something magical about a group of people, when plunged in to darkness and engrossed in the same action, the same plot, and the same film, eating salty popcorn and sipping on ice cold coke. And when emotions are shared at the same moment, there is something very unique about that. And, indeed, when you view a film on your own, your own





alien eggs were made for the egg chamber inside the downed spacecraft.


Cameras were used to film the chestbursting scene and it was done in a single take.

Best of the rest

emotion is just as valid, if not more so, heightened. The event is hosted by the Film Distributors’ Association (FDA) who are the trade body for theatrical film distributors in the UK - the companies that release films for UK cinema audiences. They also are the founders of All Industry Marketing for Cinema (AIM) who aim to boost cinema audiences across the country. FDA is a substantial supporter of the UK film industry - geared mainly towards the next generation of filmmakers and audiences.

Naomi Jeffreys, Film Editor

We’ve scoured film forums, upcoming trailers and press releases, in order to bring you our latest recommendations...



THE great gatsby

Man of steel

Del Toro’s latest film, in his own words is, “It’s a film about giant robots fighting giant monsters,’ ‘Pacific Rim’s’ plot is simple, a portal opened in the ‘Pacific Rim’ causing giant monsters called Kaiju to invade the earth, as the world’s populations faced extinction, giant robots called Jaegers were built to fight the Kaiju. But the relentless Kaiju continue their assault. Can these two save mankind from the Kaiju threat? Or will they fall before the Kaiju onslaught?

M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘After Earth’ is about a Father and Son returning to an earth that the human race abandoned centuries before, only to find it completely inhabited by creatures that were bred to kill humans.

It doesn’t look like Mr. Luhrmann is finished badly turning great literature into annoyingly bad films.

Everyone’s favourite red caped superhero flies back onto our screens in June with the Zack Snyder directed ‘Man of Steel’. The franchise has been dormant ever since the 2006 film, ‘Superman Returns’, a film that left many disappointed. However, with Snyder in the director’s chair and Christopher Nolan, the director of the ‘Dark Knight’ trilogy attached as producer, this film has the potential to be a storming success.

Jack Fryer

Benjamin Pinsent


The promotional videos look pretty promising, but I would say that I am cautious about this film, with Shyamalan comes both Will and Jayden Smith, both of whom are well likable and convincing action stars.


This year will see the release of his interpretation of ‘The Great Gatsby’. Again like ‘Romeo + Juliet’ it stars Leonardo DiCaprio, whom is a remarkable actor and will pull of an outstanding performance again, it is just a shame that the film is, at least I’m betting it is going to be a mire of terrible drivel.

Lewis Butler


Martin Richmond




Things to look forwarD to in 2013

In terms of continuing series, 2013 will witness the final seasons of Dexter and Breaking Bad which are both eagerly anticipated. I am also very much looking forward to the third series of Game of Thrones on the basis that I out and out refuse to read the books feeling that I will just ruin it for myself. In terms of comedy, 2013 will see the re-airing of Arrested Development by popular demand, one can only hope that the fourth series brings as many laughs as its predecessors.

Classic Series: Man Vs. Food We don’t get around to reviewing shows only being aired on Dave enough in this section. The channel claims boldly to be “the home of witty banter” but as far as I can tell all wit was lost in MvF An average show and replaced by vulgar food consists of him pornography.

attempting to eat 72 ounces of steak in an hour.

MvF falls under the u ns u s p e ct i ng genre of a travel show, albeit a very insular one that never achieves leaving the USA. Its premise consists simply of the hero, Adam Richman, traveling to hick towns and major cities across the States, to indulge in traditional North American cuisine. When I say cuisine, what I am in fact referring to

is a fast food fan’s wet dream; burgers, pizza, steak and burritos. An average show consists of him attempting to eat 72 ounces of steak in an hour. This is perfectly normal to him and the Americans surrounding him as they cheer on with every bite. Each episode follows a typical US dramatic tension scenario. Each challenge Adam takes part in shows images of him at the point of vomiting with a voice over which follows along the lines of “I’ve managed to eat 3 pounds of the 4 pound burger, but I am yet to even start on the coleslaw or pound of french-fries; that’s when I hit the food wall”. Despite this build-up of tension, Adam usually succeeds in his quests and an audience of stereotypical Americans go wild.

MvF is potentially one of the worst shows ever made, but what it may lack in ingenuity it more that makes up for in hilarity. What I like most about the series is how it obviously disregards the depths of the obesity epidemic of the West and just seeks to glorify food for being something which creates a common bond between all of us.

Trash TV is set to follow the standard norms, so I suppose you’ll get more Strictly Come Dancing and stuff. The only real benefits that come from recommissioning in this respect is the treat which is Take Me Out series 5 and daytime classics like Come Dine With Me which never cease to be great entertainment. As long as I don’t have to witness any Celebrity Juice or TOWIE: Live, 2013 can only be a good year.

Your Comment Aysia Lawrence “I’m really looking forward to the second season of Girls. I’m glad Lena Dunham got the recognition that she deserves at the Golden Globes and think the new series will live up to expectations.”

Tuesday 22nd January | ISSUE 138


Dennis Quaid


Clark Gre


SPLASH Splash is effectively a celebrity dive-a-thon which is every bit as dreadful as it sounds. The programme follows an almost identical premise to ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ only Tom Daley coaches all of the divers individually and there are only 5 divers per episode, yet somehow this is dragged out for a painstaking 90 minutes. Celebrities, whereby I mean extras in Benidorm, endlessly philosophise over how much the contest means to them and how they have worked so hard to get there, which is all a joke seeing as they have all

been paid a fortune to partake in such a shit-storm. Vernon Kay presents this catastrophe presumably on the basis that anyone dumb enough to watch is also dumb enough to think Vernon Kay is cool. Vernon ponderously speculates on the “potential” of each contestant. Why bother discussing the potential of Omid Djalili’s diving ability? You will never see him dive again after the show and he is every bit as unlikely to represent us in Rio 2016 as I am to wake up with a penis. Kerri Butcher, TV Editor

Lewis. The end was Dexter & Homeland: Damien anti-climatic, maybe this is what me off so much. The We Stand Corrected turned show potentially realised how I have been a key member of a team that has praised the second season of Homeland in such a way that you could be excused for inferring that I had mistaken it for the second coming of Jesus. I am also guilty of jumping on the bandwagon of hate with the seventh season of Dexter. For this, readers, I apologise. I stand by this but the gift of hindsight is a beautiful thing. Please accept my most sincere apologies and laugh at me as I attempt to grovel and justify my previous perspective somewhat. Homeland was full of an onslaught of clichéd dialogue drove me to become increasingly bored. Aside from dodgy and unbelievable plot lines, I will watch the third season regardless of the lack of hook purely on the basis of the magnificent acting force of Claire Daines and

great it was, got too full of itself and proceeded to piss away all of its glory at the final hurdle. But Dexter was the opposite. I watched the first 4 episodes of the latest season and dismissed it as utter tripe. I stand by this. The acting was atrocious and the screenplay prevailed like it had been written with a crayon. However, after revisiting, late episodes were so much better than the first four. There were the usual twist and turns and the plot development was beautifully dark. Tom Steggall, Dep. TV Editor

You’ll know him for: That Footloose remake Show: Vegas Predicted amou nt of seasons: 2 Expectations: 5 Likelihood of disa ppointment: 7 Hoping for: Co wboys, gangste rs and Elvis impers onators to spare.

w him as: You’ll kno Coulson gent Phil Zombie a e Shield Show: Th seasons: 6 mount of a d te ic d Pre ns: 10 Expectatio intment: 1 of disappo d o o uel h li e Lik uch Sam r: As m fo g in p Ho . s possible Jackson a


IMdB @IMdBtv

“So, in the Tina vs. Amy battle in the Best Actress in a Comedy category, the winner is...Lena Dunham. #GoldenGlobes”



Books What to Expect in 2013 2013 will be a year full of literary excitement. Here is our monthly selection: January – Pow! by Mo Yan 2012 Nobel laureate, Mo Yan, know how to provoke his readers. This is a story of depravity, carnivorous excess, promiscuity, and violence in rural China, told by a man who inspires to become a monk. Family drama, absurdity, and humour are all covered in the book, which is bound to suite even the most cynical and fussy readers. February – A Hologram for the King by Dave Eggers Dave Eggers explores themes of power, struggle, and hope in a globalised world. Set in Saudi Arabia, the novel follows the story of a failed American businessman hoping to score a lucrative IT contract. March – The Childhood of Jesus by JM Coetzee South African master of contemporary fiction confronts his readers with the story of memory and loss of identity. A man, a woman, and a boy are forced to run for their lives, after a violent encounter with authorities.

Jon Ronson The Psychopath Test Elizabeth Fuhr looks into the way pyschopaths and mental illness are stigmatised through Jon Ronson’s satirical piece of non-fiction. The Psychopath Test is a piece of, very entertaining, non-fiction. However, I could easily have been fooled into believing it was a cleverly written book purely created via the imagination. It’s not the kind of non-fiction that makes you feel as though its text book, but rather the kind that can absorb you like any good piece of literature.

character and their psychopathic actions. He shows that it is very easy for someone to judge a psychopath as some kind of monstrous human being just by reading about them But Ronson critiques this by meeting a few psychopaths in order to show the contrast between the evil character implied on paper to the charismatic personality he is greeted with in reality.

The book is compiled using interviews and Jon Ronson’s own original thoughts and ideas to explore the way in which the world deals with mental illnesses (with the main focus being on the mind and behaviour of psychopaths). The benefit of genuine interviews with real people gives the reader the best insight into a psychopaths mind without going to meet one themselves.

Obviously, the charismatic behaviour cannot justify the Ronson explores murderous crimes some of these people have committed, the idea that but it does show that the many corporate evil actions performed are not always reflected through and government the personality. Ronson also critiques how hard it would leaders are be for a sane person put into a mental hospital to convince psychopaths. the doctors that they were in fact sane. To declare one is sane would just make one seem as though they are If you are interested in satirical literature then in denial of their insanity. It seems there fails to The Psychopath Test should be of interest to be enough absolute criteria in order to diagnose you and provide you with much entertainment. someone with a mental illness accurately and I do not usually laugh out loud when reading Ronson highlights this in a highly intellectual a book but this was one of the few exceptions. way. Ronson’s character is just intrinsically funny and he conveys his personality superbly through his words used in this book. A main focus for Ronson is the contrast between a psychopath’s

The book is a brilliant read with not one page, nor even one word, that managed to bore me. Elizabeth Fuhr

April – Children of the Days by Eduardo Galeano Uruguayan journalist and writer’s new book is shaped like a calendar. Each day starts with a poem, a quote, or a story that really happened on that day, but was not been reported by mainstream media. May – A Delicate Truth by John le Carré It is all very mysterious. The details of a secret anti-terror operation in Gibraltar are discovered in Cornwall.

Correction: The review "The Light of August" by Faulkner was written by Ava Dikova and the name printed was Aleksandra V Stankova. Our apologies to Ava!

Tuesday 22nd January | ISSUE 138

eBooks vs Print: The Books Team give their take on the new medium. Do you remember when you were in Primary school and a teacher announced a school trip? Once you had figured out what you were going to wear, who you were going to sit next to on the coach, the next question arose: what collection of 14 songs would be deemed good enough to be played on repeat on your Walkman? In my lifetime, the iPod and the possibility of thousands of songs at one’s disposal was something that became a standard before you could even say “Call my Ishmael”. Why then do we have such a problem with digitising books? It seems inevitable; films, music, writing, learning have all been moved into the digital forum. If this was not fated, then at the very least, it was foreseeable. We asked our writers to give their tuppence on this on going debate. Camela Cuison, Books Editor


True Blood by Charlaine Harris Set in an alternate reality, where vampires have “come out of the coffin” and are accepted members of society, the True Blood franchise is a refreshingly unTwilight-esque dose of guilty pleasure. In the recent past, the Japanese have invented a synthetic blood substitute that makes it unnecessary for vampires to have to kill people in order to feed. The novels revolve around Louisiana- based telepathic waitress, Sookie Stackhouse, who has been battling with her often inconvenient ability to read people’s minds, since childhood.

Personally, as a break from the heavier reading required for my various literature modules, I would say that the True Blood novels make excellent down-time reading. The tone is dry, often funny, and the content is fast-paced and sensationalist. The contrast between the backwards, Southern microcosm of the small town Bon Temps in which the novels are set, and the urban vampire underground life that Sookie is dragged into, provide an entertaining backdrop to this gory, and often explicit romance. Jasmine Crellin

HHHHH The Rabbit Books @therabbitbooks Blog

Adam Bond

Much like when I switched from video to DVD, I have now reached the point where I can resist technology no longer. eBooks are cheaper, easier to carry around and can be accessed anywhere at any time. Problem is, they just aren’t the same as proper books. Whilst all my music is kept in digital form, when I buy an album I always get it on CD. It seems forever my reading interests will be split between accessible convenience and the joy of a real book.


Ed Gove

Have pride in your literary tastes. Don’t retreat behind the anonymous cover of a kindle to hide your unusual literature. You must be proud! Be unashamed. Simply because you read about something does not mean you practise or condone it. I’ve read a Neil Gaiman book where a retired god eats a man with her toothy vagina. That simply does not mean that I condone that sort of behaviour. To hide your book away is both unnecessary and selfish. If there are raised eyebrows, just turn the page and get over it.


Elizabeth Fuhr

As a student, I can see why e-books may be appealing. They can be downloaded instantly and usually cost less than a printed book; some can even be downloaded for free. We live in a world where technology seems to play a part in almost everything we do. A printed book is that one chance to escape the glare of an energy run screen. I want to be able to use page numbers, feel the pages and, yes, even smell the ink.


Unlike the traditional gothic heroine, and in complete contrast to her counterpart Bella Swan, Sookie is not in any way an underdog. She shares none of the traditional “emo” hang-ups about her appearance, friends, or ability to attract male attention, and spends no time whatsoever lamenting her awkwardness in social situations. Drawn to her friendly neighbourhood vampire, Bill, for her inability to read his thoughts, Sookie consequently finds herself entangled in the familiar dilemma presented in vampire fiction, namely, that of the inevitable complications involved in a relationship with a walking dead person who has an innate inclination for murder.

Have your say.




Naomi Jeffreys

Is there a debate between ebooks and real books? In my mind, there is no question; real books are the real winner. Books have been in print for thousands of years, there is nothing like reading a real book. Something tangible in your hands, you can corner your favourite pages and get lost in the words. In a world which is dominated by iPads and now ‘ eBooks’, if you really want to enjoy a real book, go and buy one.


Kieran Layer

e-Books have been readily available for a number of years now, yet there is still an air of dissent when it comes to accepting their legitimacy. Purists scowl and hiss at those of us which are unfortunate enough to stumble across them with our Kindles out in public, leaving us with feelings of inadequacy in pursuit of our literary needs, but I for one am a firm believer in the future matrimony of the hardback and the hardware.


Puzzles If, like us, you’re looking for something to distract you from essays and dissertations then try your hand at these...

Anagrams Michael Jackson Track Names

Her Trill

A Day Rind It



1. Warning signal 6. Back talk 10. Part of a comparison 14. Hawaiian veranda 15. Gait faster than a walk 16. Be worthy of 17. Twelve dozen 18. Competent 19. Doing nothing 20. Alteration 22. Its symbol is Pb 23. A promiscuous woman 24. Stylish 26. Adriatic resort 30. Consumed food 31. Best seller 32. Brother of Jacob 33. Ripped 35. One of the Canterbury pilgrims 39. Slide 41. Spat 43. Electrical pioneer 44. Not mine 46. How old we are 47. “Eureka!” 49. Large 50. Old stories 51. Short sleep 54. Goulash 56. Matured 57. Irregular 63. Hindu princess 64. Food 65. African virus 66. Chooses 67. Nobleman 68. Water lily 69. Netting 70. Type of sword 71. Considers

1. Aquatic plant 2. Piecrust ingredient 3. Dwarf buffalo 4. Coarse file 5. Fogs 6. Legal 7. Judge 8. Alone 9. Unpleasant odor 10. Involving three parties 11. God of the underworld 12. Collection of maps 13. Poverty-stricken 21. Winged 25. Former Italian currency 26. In order to prevent 27. Small island 28. Speaker’s platform 29. Eccentric 34. Impartial 36. Therefore 37. Swerve 38. If not 40. Laugh 42. Prods 45. Make less visible 48. Orbital high point 51. Billiards bounce 52. Slack-jawed 53. Canvas shelters 55. Brandish 58. Poop 59. Double-reed woodwind 60. Memo 61. Astringent 62. Young girl

Liar Bile Ring

Hear Bolt Wick


Fun Facts

The giant African land snail, is the largest species of snail found on land and generally grows to around 20cm in length.

Tuesday 22nd January | ISSUE 138


TWEET or twit

Below are a selection of tweets, some are real and some we have fabricated – which ones are the real deal? Stephen Hawking @Prof_S_Hawking

“I can’t believe I missed the Horizon programme on black holes. I was hoping to pick up a few tips.” 50 Cent @50Cent

“I can’t believe my Grandmother’s making me take out the trash. I’m rich, f*ck this I’m going home I don’t need this sh*t.” Gwyneth Paltrow @GwynethPaltrow

“Who do I have to bang to get an advance copy of the new Coldplay album? I mean, really.”

Wordwheel There is at least one nine letter word hidden in this wordwheel. How many more words can you find?

Last Issue’s Solutions

Michael Bay @MichaelBay

“I just taught myself how to play the cello. Magnificent.” Christopher Walken @C_Walken

“I claim to be frightened of horses but do so only to get out of attending parades. It’s peculiar but has served me well. The horses get it.”



TRY THESE SPECIALS NEW FOR 2013 New Dishes NEW SIDE Sweet potato mash Chicken, Chorizo and Paprika soup


Chicken and Chorizo Salad


Chicken Skewer roulette


Served with warm ciabatta bread

Mixed leaves, red pepper and red onion with chicken and chorizo

A selection of chicken skewers in all our SEVEN tasty marinades including our new corona and lime – watch out for the extra hot! Enjoy as a starter or a main


NEW FLAVOUR! Corona and Lime marinade

- just ask your Frangette to add it to your chicken SPICE LEVEL

Tuesday 22nd January | ISSUE 138


The Double-Edged Sword: Embryonic Stem Cell Research Stem cells are categorised into two broad groups: embryonic stem cells and adult stem cells. The most striking difference (apart from the obvious) is that embryonic stem cells can grow and replicate into any varying type of cell. Adult stem cells are limited to differentiating into the cells of the tissue they were originally harvested from. This means, of the two, embryonic stem cells are far more valuable to researchers. In order to obtain these miracle cells, they must be harvested from living organisms. Most of those currently used in research are donated by excess embryo production associated with In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) treatments. This is where the ethical implications come into play, and like most situations where humans play God, there’s a Catch 22. Do we destroy the budding human life, in an attempt to alleviate suffering? Or do we respect the value of the human life and stop this kind of research? Sotiris Kakanos, Deputy Science Editor

‘Bug Drugs’: The Future of Medicine? In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the Chinese Black Mountain Ant, (Polyrhachis Vicina) is seen as a universal remedy, purportedly treating infertility, preventing aging and restoring vitality. Some are sceptic. However, research has shown that formic acid, defensively secreted, is a strong antibiotic. The ant extract also contains high levels of zinc, a powerful antioxidant, known to boost the immune system. Other treatments include Maggot Debridement

Ted Benton’s research has delved in to the realm of animal rights and social justice. In his publication, ‘Natural Relations: Ecology, Animal Rights and Social Justice’, Benton questions the divide between humans and animals. His current research attempts to think through feasible political strategies for alternative social and ecological futures.

Therapy (MDT) involving the addition of live maggots into an open, unhealed wound. The maggots consume dead tissue (debridement) and disinfect surrounding tissue by secreting Phenylacetic acid and allotonin, an antibacterial and antiinflammatory. Recent research has shown that maggots are able to destroy a variety of antibiotic resistant bacteria, including MRSA. As bacterial resistance to antibiotics increases, MDT could become a key defence in the fight against superbugs.

Dom Whittall


Paul Coxon @paulcoxon: “Before measurement, samples were kept free from contamination & if we dropped any we totally followed the 5 second rule #overlyhonestmethods.”


Last Rhino Standing

Research Focus

Merging Paradigms Ted Benton: Bringing Philosophy, Ethics and Nature together


It’s an amazing feat that some of the largest megafauna on the planet, survive only on salad. The rhino is a prime example. This one tonne, bald giant, historically roamed the planet, including Europe and America. However, it is now confined to just five species in Africa, Asia and India. A prized trophy species, rhinos are among the most endangered species in the world. According to traditional Chinese medicine, the horn of the rhino can cure and alleviate an extraordinary number of diseases and ailments. The origin of these legends, however, is largely unknown and instead of hard scientific facts, demand is driven by the faith of millions. Regardless, self-made Asian millionaires and other medicinal traditionalists are happy to devour groundup rhino horn, which can quite repulsively be compared to the consumption of ground human toenails. Rhino horn can fetch up to £40,000 per kilogram on the black market. Because of this, over 600 of these endangered mammals were slaughtered in 2012 alone. Their threatened status just makes rhino more desirable.

Rhinos are among the most endangered species in the world.

This unethical practise is not confined to the Asian and African continents. Petty criminals here in the UK have jumped on the bandwagon, swiping museum exhibits and targeting individuals in Zoos. In museums, many original exhibits have been placed in secure stores while replicates have been replaced on display. Where live rhinos are kept, such as at Colchester zoo, high-tech security features have been installed to prevent brutal thieves attempting to execute these animals. Sarah-Jane Walsh, Science Editor TheRabbitScience

Have your say.

@SciRabbit Blog



Be Resolute in Your Resolutions Succeeding in sticking to your promises will not be easy. Follow our tips to make sure you don’t fall off the resolution bandwagon.

LEFT: Heres a few suggestions, but please don’t try them all at once.

New Year’s Resolutions Sticking to your resolutions might be easier said than done , so take inspiration from our writers and kickstart your goals with a new approach On the other side of the world, in South America, families traditionally welcome the calendar transition a little differently. A life-size male doll called ‘Mr Old Year’ is dressed in old clothes from each family member and symbolically stuffed with memories of the outgoing year. At midnight, the dummy is set alight; burning away the bad memories of the past 12 months and inviting good fortune. These locations share a sense of the renewal and vow to make and stick to resolutions. I may have fallen into the 25% of people who abandon their resolutions by the second week of January, our writers are having more success.

Visit A New Country Every Month I’ve given up all the usual things: chocolate, sweets, crisps, cheese but this year is my biggest challenge yet. Not only have I given up cheese, a staple in my non-conventional selective meat-etarianism, I have decided to take on something new. The past few years I have done well in racking a total of 27 countries visited. In order to kick start my goal, my resolution this year is to bring my total to 39 by 31 December 2013.

Wear Bright Colours I read an article recently by an older woman writing to herself in her twenties and tip number seven hit me: ‘Find an age-appropriate style.’ I ran to my wardrobe and organised my clothes by colour: there was black then navy; cream, grey, beige... greige. But it was too late. Wearing brighter ones can make you feel happier and more optimistic, whereas dark tones have the opposite effect. Had I accidentally stumbled upon the reason for my sarcastic pessimism?

After December deadlines the Christmas holidays were a much needed break. At home, next to box of chocolates, with the lull of Christmas television occasionally disturbing your slumber, it was easy to forget that regrettably life does go on. Overcome with the sinking feeling that you should definitely have been more productive over the festive period, the Christmas bubble bursts and the majority of us sink into the January blues. Here at The Rabbit we have some tips to combat this month of misery.


Plan ahead - Making plans for the upcoming months is a great quick fix. Having something to look forward to, be it a holiday, a festival or just a visit to a friend’s university is an easy way to bring a smile to your face.


Get organised - Tidy your room and throw away the things you know you really do not need. A de-cluttered room means a de-cluttered mind, making it much easier to study.


Change your diet - Omega 3 fatty acids are amazing for blocking chemicals which can cause bad moods, upping your intake of oily fish, nuts or seeds can have a positive effect on how you feel. And don’t skip meals,


I know you may be trying to shift the extra Christmas pounds but skipping meals is detrimental to this. Low blood sugar means low energy and low moods.

Whether you want to lose weight, stop smoking or improve your study skills, have a great year and good luck!

This promises to be a challenge, but now set, it is a goal I must complete. So far, two weeks in, I have one country knocked off the list and five planned. But the year is still young so watch this space.

I am proud to say I have worn a red dress, yellow jumper and even experimented with coral lipstick all on separate occasions of course, I haven’t completely lost my mind. Everyone loves a fashion statement, some avant-garde bravery.


Michelle Kitsell, Lifestyle Editor

Sarah-Jane Walsh

Kesi Johnson

Becca Johnson, Deptuty Lifestyle Editor

Socialise- No Twitter and Facebook do not count. Humans are social creatures, spending a few hours a day with good company will no doubt improve your disposition. So yes that trip to Milk It, is completely justified.

TUESDAY 22ND January | ISSUE 138



Travel Timeline 09:00 Head to Absolute Bagels for a classic NY start to your day

LEFT: Time Square by night is a must see

11:30 See how the other half live across the pond with a stroll down Park Avenue

BELOW: Sports fans should catch the New York Yankees in action, join NY natives for an afternoon on the High Line

12:00 Take a tour of the city through the eyes of your favourite show Sopranos or Sex & The City


Have a break from the hustle and bustle and enjoy a coffee in Central Park

14:00 Lunchtime! Why not try a giant pizza slice from Little Italy?

I have been fortunate enough to see some of the most beautiful buildings the world has to offer, but never have I found a collection of concrete structures as sexy as New York. This iconic city is in a league of its own. Not in the Lady Gaga kind of way, shocking in order to be remembered, but more Audrey Hepburn-esque; where its beauty is nothing but outstanding. Every block provides another incredible photograph waiting to be taken.

Fairytale of New York Camela Cuison explores the Big Apple and shares her top tips for finding the city’s hotspots - though tea lovers might want to stay away

The day I was designated

and child stampede their way

world was scheduled to end. I found myself sitting on the plane thinking: in the case of the world being attacked by aliens or destroyed via comets from outer space, New York was definitely going to be the first target. Luckily I arrived safely, welcomed by the first of many Hazelnut Americanos, accompanied by the first of many cheesecake slices. For coffee addicts, it doesn’t get much better.

attempt to wheedle his car through the crowd and lose his nerve half way through. The hordes were merciless and swamped around him. Overcrowding is certainly an issue in the big Apple, but when you are outside the beautiful jewellers Harry Winston, listening to what sounds like falling diamonds, you can see what Mr. Sinatra was harking on about.

Radio City) and the smell of

17:00 to fly was in also the day the across roads. I did see a man coffee can resurrect even the

Scale the Empire State Building for breathtaking views

19:00 Head to China Town for some cheap eats and a taste of the orient

22:00 It might not be Sub Zero but thrown down your game face and head down to 21 Club

02:00 In the abscence of the safety bus, a yellow cab will be the best way home.

Ali Shah

New York at Christmas is really something. Oxford Street has nothing on Fifth Avenue; this is a whole new level of retail therapy. Here, people are suddenly indestructible to cars, the green man responsible for our pedestrian habits can do nothing but blink as man, wife

It is understandable how New York can be seen as cold and isolating; the rush can make you feel remote as easily as it can make you feel part of something. But just step into any of the diners or bakeries that are sprinkled across the city (I recommend Magnolia Bakery, a spitting distance from

weariest of tourists. You might be hard pushed to find a decent cup of tea though; just saying.

Soundtrack Your Stay... 1 Frank Sinatra - New York, New York Who could forget the crooner’s city celebrating lyrics as he declares “I want to be a part of it”. So do we, Frank, so do we. 2 Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind 40 years after Frank and still loving the Big Apple just as much, get Alicia’s track on your iPod before pounding the pavements and hitting the shops. 3 The Strokes - New York City Cops Let NY native Julian Casablancas provide the backing track to a raid of the hotel minibar before hitting the Bowery Ballroom for a live gig.


Cold Weather Hotpot

RIGHT: Ooh 50% off on blue sequined hot pants!


Hitting the Sales – Is It Worth All the Hassle? As much as I love shopping, I find that, in the Christmas sales, the atmosphere changes to hysteria. Normally shopping is fairly simple activity, the average shopper casually browses rails of clothes, deliberating whether to go for those jeans or indeed whether or buy anything at all. You calmly pass shoppers in the aisles and stroll through Westfield without any trouble.

As January is the coldest month, chip in with your flatmates and make a giant saucepan of ‘Cold Weather Hotpot’. It’s the perfect thing to warm you up after battling the infamous north towers wind tunnel.

You will need: • 2 Onions • 300g Carrots • 1kg Potatoes •450g Lean Minced Beef • 2 Beef Stock Cubes • 400g Baked Beans • Splash of Worchestershire Sauce

But not in January. Then, it all changes. Once the question changes to “what shall I buy? I need to use my vouchers!” a

Cut each onion into eight wedges. Roughly chop the carrots and cut the potatoes into large chunks. Put the kettle on.


Heat a large non-stick pan, add the mince and fry quickly, stirring constantly, until evenly browned. Crumble in the stock cubes and mix well. Add the prepared vegetables and stir. Pour in 900ml of boiling water.


Reduce the heat, cover and simmer for 25-30 minutes. Stir in the baked beans and a generous splash of Worcestershire sauce and heat through. Add salt and pepper to taste before serving.

sense of urgency takes centre stage. Full use of the January sales must be made: this is the only time everything will be cheap, it would be a crime to walk away empty-handed,





Pete Morton

Colchester Arts Centre

21 January 19:45

£9/Conc. £8


Sub Zero

22 January 23:00–03.00


CAMRA Winter Beer Festival

Colchester Arts Centre

23-26 January 12:00–23:00

Free before 15:00, £3 after

Artists in Residence

Slack Space @ Victoria Place

26 January


Stomping at Stanway

Colchester Jazz Every Sunday Club



There’s something about January sales that turns shoppers into maniacs


The Rabbit:Lifestyle:2012/2013

Have your say.

@rabbitlifestyle Blog

whether or not the reduced clothes are actually attractive, fashionable or the sort of thing you would normally buy – it’s the January sales! After nabbing a roll-neck jumper for a return to Colchester and a Middletonesque dress without suffering injury in the mayhem, I have proven it is doable. Obviously, there are lots of great clothes on offer, and it is possible to make good buys, but let’s stay calm, please? Jasmine Crellin

TUESDAY 22ND January | ISSUE 138

31st Jan 10pm-3am


Tickets available online Early Bird Student Ticket - 6 Advance - 8 Guest advance - 9 On the Door - 10 guest on the door - 12 www.facebook.comjaguarskills



Sports Colchester to Stage English University Boxing Series After winning 14 local, regional and National titles, it has been announced that the University of Essex Amateur Boxing Club will host the English University Series over two weekends at the end of the month. Since forming in 2010, the club has grown into a strong force which has succeeded at numerous levels of amateur boxing contests, finishing second in the overall league table in 2011 and achieving their first ever BUCS Gold medal in its inaugural year. In June 2012, two Haringey Gold cup winners in Cruiserweight Danny Azeez and Light Middleweight Zac Keating added to their tally of seven titles and set the pace for the upcoming season which has seen Toyin Alafobi become Essex Novice Class A Champion and Danny Azeez reach the Eastern Counties LightHeavyweight Champion. Coach Gordon Charlesworth has been pleased with the progress made so far this year, and considers the team to have built well on the successes of last year. “The start of the season has been great with many goals achieved. Targets are now in place for the New Year - the English University series, the novice schoolboys and the open ABA’s,” he explains. “This is, has and will be, very exciting times for the club and all its boxers.” Gordon Charlesworth

New Year, New Start: Get Fit With Rugby Union Rugby Union is the perfect way to get fit and kick start those New Year’s resolutions to get healthy (don’t worry though, you can reward yourself with Wednesday nights off). So far, the First XV have performed admirably in a higher league, despite a bumpy start and the Second XV should begin to have their hard work reflected in their results in the new year. For those thinking about gaining some match fitness, feel free to join our Monday and Friday training sessions at 6.30. Restore the manly figure you deserve, and rid yourself of that mince pie belly once and for all. Keir Waller

Rowing Club Aiming For Strong Start To Race Season January sees the rowers put their training to the test as competive competition gets underway Now that Christmas is over the Rowing Club are gearing up for race season. For the last fortnight UERC have been training hard to work off the festive treats consumed over the Christmas break. Despite being a small club in comparison to rowing clubs at other universities, the Essex team thrive on being underdogs. A surge of enthusiasm has flowed through the club this year and record numbers of first year students signed up in October. The club also boats the highest amount of female members since its formation nineteen years ago.

The club’s optimism and positive attitude has shown on the water, including recent results ending with a win for Essex over sides such as Kent, Bath, Worcester and Lincoln as well as rivals UEA. Moreover, they also raised over £2500 for charity in a 24 Hour Rowing Machine Marathon in December. Strong team spirit and determined group efforts is at the heart of the rowing club’s success. Club President George McIntosh puts it simply when asked how the club achieves success. “We just kept rowing, that’s it,” he states. “No-one wants to let each other down.”

David Havis

Fitness Testing: Round 2 After the success of last term’s contest, the Sports Centre is holding a second ultimate fitness competition. Taking place on the 24 – 25 January, at £3 to enter, the testing involves a number of components including an agility test and 20m sprint. Last term’s winners were American Football. Clubs with six or more entrants will be entered into the team contest with the chance to win free entry to the next round of testing. There are also prizes for the first place, individual competitors will receive a fitness test worth over £100 courtesy of the Human Performance Unit. To take part please email: pbonne@essex. Peter Bonner

TUESDAY 22ND January | ISSUE 138

BUCS Conference Cups: The Quarter Finalists



2012 Upcoming Home Fixtures Sunday 20th January Rugby League University of Essex Men’s First Team v. University of Reading First Team

Sunday 20th January Futsol University of Essex Men’s First Team v. University of Brighton First Team

Wednesday 23rd January Many teams at Essex are heading into the spring term and aiming for cup victories. With the quarter finals of BUCS Cup Competitions getting closer, here’s our quick guide to get you up to speed with this season’s cup contenders… The Men’s Fencing First XI defeated the University of Sussex in their first encounter in the cup this year and will face Surrey at home on the 6 February 2013. The ladies side are proving equally as successful in their search for silverware and will face UCL. Essex’s Men’s Football First XI beat UCL last term to cement their place in a quarterfinals on 6 February, against the University of East London. The only hockey team which remains in the South Eastern Conference Cup is the Women’s

First XI. Their Cup run has seen them confidently win games, with one match ending in a more than comfortable 21-0 win. Essex will face the University of Hertfordshire First XI in the next game.

Support our sides - Matches taking place from late January

The Men’s Lacrosse side were knocked out in the last sixteen of their cup run but the Ladies First Team will play their quarter final match against Kingston University after receiving a bye in the first round. This fixture will place at the Colchester campus on the 6 February 2013. After a strong win against Medway the Men’s Rugby Union quarter final match away at Queen Mary will be played a week earlier on 30 January. The Ladies side will face the University Of East London at home on the same day. Squash have an impressive three men’s teams in the quarter finals to the quarter final of their cup while the ladies teams have two teams remaining in the cup competition. Women’s Table Tennis face Queen Mary’s on 20 February, while the Men’s tennis side host KCL. Fred Forster, Sports Editor

Basketball University of Essex Women’s First Team v. LSE First Team

Wednesday 23rd January Badminton University of Essex Men’s First Team v. UCL First Team

Wednesday 23 January Lacrosse University of Essex Men’s First Team v. Royal Holloway First Team

Join in! Email:


Volleyball Team of the week

Rauf Saatcioglu Team: Men’s 1sts

Hiroki Aso Team: Men’s 1sts

Patrick Tang Team: Men’s 1sts

Jevgenijs Malcevs Team: Men’s 1sts

Zenonas Severis Team: Men’s 1sts “There are four volleyball teams performing in BUCS and a team playing in the newly formed local Essex league. We have two great coaches, who have enjoyed illustrious careers in the game. Despite low intake this year we are still dominating the BUCS and local leagues, making this a season to watch. I look forward to getting back into training and bringing home the titles!”

Join In: Training and Social Events . As we are a small club, we come together like a family unit. We spend a lot of time together on court and off court. Every day is a social for the volleyball club if it’s a cheeky meet in the SU, attending Fed very regularly or off campus socials. We love to celebrate our victories and when we have to drown our sorrows we are always capable of putting the past behind and getting a group together and put on a good ol’social. Non-alcoholic socials are always encouraged within volleyball; we always put on a recreational tournament and trips to watch other local volleyball teams.

2012-2013 Achievements: As a club we are currently ranked 37th out of 147 volleyball clubs registered to BUCS. Mens 1st are currently 1st in the 2nd division and the Womens 2nd are currently sat in 5th.

One to watch: Patrick Tang

Contacts President: Lewis Gowans Vice President/Men’s 1st Captain: Rauf Saatcioglu Next

raining Mixed T Treasurer: Session Hiroki Aso 20th Sunday Jan Social Secretary: 0pm Anastasija Lukjancenko 1.00-2.3

Women’s 1st Captain: Ginevra Floridi

Why did you start volleyball? I learned so much from my high school coach and team, I played all positions and decided (as a lefty) to become an Opposite, mainly because I love to spike! What is crucial to your game? I spend a long time practicing and getting into the right mindset. If you focus on winning it becomes too stressful so what I have learnt is, if you want to win, do not aim to win. Best Volleyball moment? During high school I captained the team, this was the most memorable match I ever played as I found that losing a great match in which we perform our best is much more valuable than winning a match by luck.

Lewis Gowans Team: Men’s 1sts

Radoslav Georgiev Team: Men’s 1sts

Georgi Dimitrov Team: Men’s 1sts

Frank Alheit Team: Men’s 1sts

Ginevra Floridi Team: Women’s 1sts

Megan Harper Team: Women’s 1sts

Carmen Gutierrez Team: Women’s 1sts

Maria Aristeidou Team: Women’s 1sts

Claudia Iona Team: Women’s 1sts

Anastasija Lukjancenko Team: Women’s 1sts

Marina Kapona Team: Women’s 1sts

Ioanna Lapa Team: Women’s 1sts

Yulika Tzavara Team: Women’s 1sts

TUESDAY 22ND January | ISSUE 138





Squash Lead Form Tables and Set Sights on League Success A number of the university’s sports teams got off to great starts last term, achieving both league and cup successes. The BUCS form tables a great indicator as to which teams are heading for success. Men’s Squash lead the way, standing top of their South Eastern 2B League with no losses. They have also reached the quarter finals of the Conference Cup. The Women’s side is also riding high in the league standings, just three points behind league leaders Reading with a game in hand.

Essex’s success is not just limited to the squash court; the Men’s First XI football side have also had a highly successful season and did not concede a single goal in the entirety of last term. They are also hoping for cup success and play their BUCS Cup quarter final in early February. The ladies’ teams are represented in the top five by Badminton. Despite having had a number of games cancelled they stand mid-table with three games in hand meaning



it would not be impossible for them to climb the table. They are also one match away from the quarter finals of the cup. Golf take fourth place in the form table though look unlikely to take the top spot and gain promotion unless the current leaders fail to maintain their winning streak. The Essex side are unbeaten and are yet another team through to the

Conference Cup quarter finals. The final team in the top five are the Hockey Men’s first XI, who are unbeaten in the league and also drew against the current leaders. With one game in hand and standing only one point behind, maintaining top form means it is possible they will secure promotion to league 2B. Fred Forster, Sports Editor


The Rabbit: Issue 138  

University Of Essex's Student Newspaper

The Rabbit: Issue 138  

University Of Essex's Student Newspaper