«he didn’t want to see me ever again»
From 15 to 20 I was a heroin addict. When I was 19 Dad told my sister to tell me that he didn’t want to see me ever again, if I didn’t stop. After one year I quit drugs completely, but I hadn’t realized that it was precisely
his ultimatum which had made me quit. I had started doing drugs to attract my parents’ attention. The last thing I wanted was a complete break up with them. Especially Dad. From then until his funeral, I lived with
the thought that he didn’t really care for me; until my sister told me that he had done it to make me quit. This unfinished business with Dad makes him even more alive inside me.