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14 VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
EDITOR: Ema Kibirkstis CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org
Star Wars: Identities visits Montreal’s Science Centre MJ CROMP PADAWAN
You’ll think you have the capacity to use the Force when you will get out of the Star Wars: Identities Exposition at Montreal Science Center. Unfortunately, even though it won’t be the case, you’ll be able to say that you created your own Star Wars character, because during your journey through the exhibition, you are the hero. The whole exposition revolves around the theme of identity, and how the environment we lived as children, our entourage, and our values built who we are and justify the decisions we have to take during the course of our lives. When you’re about to enter the exposition area, they loan you a bracelet and a little radio, in which you can hear narration in different parts of the exposition if
you step in certain zones. As for the bracelet, you’ll use it to create your identity by scanning it at different places on the exhibition floor. Throughout your visit, you’ll have to go over 10 identity stations to choose your race, your hereditary background, how you were raised, your planet, your mentor, your occupation, and many more to create build your character. For example, you can decide to be a Gungan from Naboo and your mentor is Han Solo, or a Ewok from Endor with Boba Fett as a mentor. Between the identity stations, you’ll be able to admire the original costumes, space ship models and drawing of George Lucas’ world. Also, videos are presented to explain how Anakin and Luke became such different people, despite the fact they grew up on the same planet and even though they shared similar genetic makeup.
Our Lady Peace Curve Warner Music SARAH PAPSHDFBSFQLOS STAFF WRITER
Our Lady Peace has a history of varied sounds and approaches to each of their eight albums, some successful and some, well, not so successful. However, with their new album Curve, they have created something beautiful: a perfect mix of slow heart wrenching ballads and fast-paced hits that should only be listened to as loud as possible. They have reverted to their original musical style that is found most prominently in their early albums Clumsy and Spiritual Machines. This is surely not disappointing since this style is tremendously creative and unique. It stands out in the alternative rock business next to other mainstream rock bands that fail to call their music art. Curve is art and there is no denying. You can easily hear the emotion and passion behind every song and the talent of each
band member is just plain obvious. The song “Heavyweight” is the well-deserving first single off the album. It is fast, enjoyable and something easily played cruising down the highway on a summer’s day. “Fire In The Henhouse” and “Rabbits” are equally as good and great for an easy listen. For those heart-wrenching songs I mentioned before, “If This Is It”, “Mettle” and “Will Somebody Change” will be sure to impress you… and possibly form a little tear at the corner of your eye. If I were to choose a favorite song it would be “Find Our Way” because of the mixture of rock n’ roll and mesmerizing ballad. However, instead of naming a few standout songs, I can easily say that all the songs on the album are just wonderfully amazing. The whole album is well structured and each song feels like a continuation of the one before yet still different. Curve is an alternative rock powerhouse of an album with its soft guitar riffs, unique progressions and creative use of instruments like synths, piano and tambourines. It is anything but boring. Perfect to put you in a good mood and also to encourage those extra pensive days. Raine Maida has the ability to enter your soul and twist it a little with his signature high nasal vocals, which are extremely present in Curve (as it should be!). Guitarist Steve Mazur plays the softest guitar riffs that are simply… beautiful. Beautiful, after all, is the one and best word to describe this album. Drummer Jeremy Taggart and bassist Duncan Coutts, each their own, do an amazing job as well. Our Lady Peace does Canada proud as born Canadians. Keep it coming guys! But don’t change, keep it beautiful, just like this… Please.
For the true Star Wars fan, you’ll be amazed, maybe even turn hysteric, when you’ll enter. It also teaches you a lot about the film and the whole process of identy behind the story. As for the not-so Star Wars maniacs, you may find the exhibition boring, if it wasn’t for the creation of your own character part. But, you never know. Maybe you’ll enjoy the experience, and you’ll be seduced by this whole new world. Overall, the exhibition is so cool, it’s worth spending another $23 to go back. You’ll feel like a child in there, and you’ll see if you’re the type of person who’s tempted by the dark side of the Force. Aside from that, the Star Wars’ songs will be stuck in your head the rest of your day (Ta-ta TA! TatataTA)! The exhibit will be running until Sept. 16. Now carry on, and may the Force be with you.
Photo Credit: MJ Cromp
Bitch, please. ABC’s new comedy series is a hit... hoe.
Photo Credit: www.theprovince.com
Wow... You guys are... so... cool.............
BARBARA MADIMENOS STAFF WRITER
American television network, ABC, premiered a new comedy series called Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 on April 11, 2012, and has continued on with its second episode last week. The comedy sitcom is of a young woman named June (Dreama Walker), who recently moves to the Big Apple, chasing after her dream job at a mortgage company. Unfortunately, just as luck would have it, the company ends up in a scandal, and falls apart right before her eyes as well as forces her to end up homeless. Jobless, and with no place to live, June ends up moving in with Chloe (Krysten Ritter,) a
sly con artist that likes to party it up and manipulate people. “She is manipulative, self-absorbed and a borderline sociopath (and those are her "positive" traits). Oh, did I mention she's also wickedly funny?” Chris Lackner, a journalist for Post Media News, said. Initially, the two women bash heads, as Chloe tries to take advantage of innocent little June, yet one can see that Chloe isn’t all that evil and that the two will flourish a friendship in the long run. The rest of the cast, Liza Lapira, Michael Blaiklock, Eric Andre and James Van Der Beek as the secondary characters may not be fairly well known, however that only gives viewers less of a judgement call and opens up people’s minds to something new. Plus, you like Dawson’s Creek?
Here’s a bonus for fans of the show; Van Der Beek spoofs himself as his character. This is definitely a show worth taking a peek at, whether you like typical sitcom comedy or not. In addition, as it takes place in the heart of New York, it brings a form of familiarity in comparison to all of the other shows, such as How I Met Your Mother, 30 Rock, Friends, Two Broke Girls and many more, that take place in the Big Apple. There is something about the city that not only helps friendships grow, but sets up for the perfect comedic show due to all of the hussle and bussle in the environment itself ! You can watch Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 on ABC at 9:30pm every Wednesday night.
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Dumpster The Wrath of Grapes by Ryan Philips A hangover is but the wrath of grapes, Sense from sanity it perpetrates Unyielding beings of purple power, Whom sit higher in rank than even Matt Lauer, My head set a’pang, my eyes overwhelmed in light, My consciousness hangs, my mind a’flight, Not a soul should claim this right, As I try to stand with all my might, I crave my bed and shards of pain line my head. Right now, I feel I’d be better off dead.
by S. Paps
VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
A party full of strangers and memory thieves has never felt so... invigorating. Drink up and dress down. it might do you some good to live with that middle finger waved in the air, fearlessly. People talk with empty words day in and day out staring with blank faces and uninspired eyes. Maybe they'll be sedated or left by the dumpster hung over to contemplate their alcohol filled lives and the drama behind open scars
Poetry for the Fancy
In Bandit’s Roost by N.D. You have called me robber and thief, And I know all too well that my death would cause you relief, That my capture would cure your disdain, To see me bound by lock and chain, You would see my den burned to the ground, And have my crimes announced and crowned, My compatriots hung by the gallows, Their remains carried off by your morose barrows, But until my bell rings, And the reaper, my death he brings, In Bandit’s roost I shall reside, For your laws, I chose not abide,
As you pass us by, with your shoes shining bright, You gaze at us, akin to a grotesque blight, Too proud to ask for aid, we look away, You skip on, leaving us to our slow decay, Curs among the towers, that’s what you see, Left whimpering, cut down by your morbid society, “Too lazy, too thoughtless” you shout and proclaim, What you ignore though, is that we’ve chosen to drop out of this game, The rules are skewed, the board is slanted, Life has given you so much, but alas, to some that mercy was never granted, In Bandit’s roost we are forced to abide, For your laws have trapped us inside, You call me enemy, you call me fiend But are we that different, do I deserve such esteem? Thousand fold you have kicked
Photo Credit: coveringphotography.com
us, cast us into shame, And who knows, given the opportunity, maybe we would have done the same, A beast you would portray me, my people an infestation, But know that, all the same, we belong to your nation, We are sons, we are daughters, We are mothers, we are fathers, My children wail, their smiles bright, They fear the shadows, late at night, Nonetheless, you’ve come to claim me, The justice you serve, and all its decree,
Then slay the wolf, claim the monster, Know that in the end, you will have slain but a brother, In Bandit’s roost we all shall lie, For your laws will have stripped us of our lives, I cry not for myself, but for what is to come, For those who fall, about to succumb, Fate is a fickle mistress, her wheel ever turning, For Bandit’s roost is every growing…
the plant plant text the plant thethe plant pottermore faakin’ brahhhh petrificus totalus the thesick plant plant the plant plant text textistext. text text text text. text text textbetch text. the
EDITOR: Ema Kibirkstis CONTACT: email@example.com
You have come to fear me, the wolf in your flock, You bind your goods under guard and lock, You sit at your tables, and curse me under your breath, Clueless at how I continue to elude certain death, Mustering up your courage, every now and again, You rush to confront me, followed closely by your kinsmen, But at the precipice of my humble domain, You turn and announce that such a task was better fit for the insane, As you return to your homes warm and safe, You leave us, those who are lost
and waif, As we hunger and die, You prosper and rise, In Bandit’s roost we choose to preside, For your laws have stripped us of our pride,
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SOME TRIPS YOU NEVER FORGET!
Idiot’s Guide to
the C.A.L.L. Festival CHRIS MARTIN STAFF WRITER
VOL. 39 ISSUE 14 - Thursday, February 10, 2011
a film by
STARTS FRIDAY !
Exclusively at CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORY FOR SHOWTIMES.
The Creative Arts, Literature and Language (CALL) program is holding a festival with multiple events from April 25 to May 11. For a list of all of the events, a pamphlet is available at the info desk, but the following are the most noteworthy. For those who love a good laugh, check out the exciting Let the Night Begin: improv and Theatre Games on Friday. For those of you that don’t know what the art of improv is, check out youtube.com and get ready to piss yourself laughing! A bunch of people on stage acting out scenes without any censorship, without a plan and without any structure is definitely a recipe for a good time. The event will be moderated by Dimitri Kyres in Conrod’s from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. That same day, from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m. in 5B.13, there will be a Literature Profile academic conference with Liana Bellon. On May 3, the Creative Writing nerds can go ahead and gather in Conrods from 2 to 4 p.m. for a workshop on “works in progress” with Sue Elmslie. Later that day, you can also attend the Arts and Culture Gala from 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. in 5B.16. If you have time on May 4, then you must see Come to the Cabaret open mic night, hosted by the spectacular Ema Kibirkstis, and Dimitri Kyres from 6 p.m.
to 7:30 p.m. Since it’s an open mic event, anybody can perform, so start preparing! Another open mic event is Slams, Raps and Roars, a poetry open mic event in Conrod’s from 1 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. on May 7, hosted by Vicky Desjardins. If you’re a little too shy to display some of your own work at one of the open mic nights, then you can also listen to some original works by others at We Are Ambiguous on May 9, in Conrod’s from 12:30 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. This event has a ton of hype, and students will be showing and performing original pieces. For movie critics, Cinema students will be displaying their films at Media night, 7 p.m. in the Dawson theatre on May 11 to close the festival. Students in Cinema, Communications and Video have been working on these films for months, and all sorts of genres will be shown. Now that you’ve realized that there are way too many amazing events to go to, and that you can’t possibly see them all with the end of the semester coming up, you can check out the exhibits. The most noteworthy exhibit is Framed, the Visual Arts’ students final projects, of multiple mediums, that will be shown throughout the entire festival in the 5C corridor west. The awards will be given for best work on May 10, in 5B.16 from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. at the CALL festivals very own crazy party, a.k.a. Film Noir Closing Gala. Yes, there will be a DJ and a swing dancing demonstration so don’t miss out!
A CABIN, HOT PEOPLE AND DEATH RACHEL POCHAT SELBY
EDITOR: Ema Kibirkstis CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org
The Cabin In The Woods, that came out on Friday April 13, will please fans of Joss Whedon, creator of the cult series Firefly/Buffy/Angel, and Drew Goddard, writer of Cloverfield, for they collaborated together on this movie. It’s hard to tell what genre this movie is. Is it horror? Is it comedy? Sci-fi? Action? The reactions of the crowd were up and down like a rollercoaster. One second they are hiding behind their scarves in fear, the next they’re almost on the ground laughing. Of course the actors are a big part of the attraction. The very sexy Jesse Williams, better known as Dr. Jackson Avery from Grey’s Anatomy plays Holden. The sweet and sexy friend being hooked up with, Dana, the innocent little college student, is played by Kristen Connolly. Anna Hutchinson plays Jules, Curt’s sexy girlfriend. Curt, the jock of the group is played by actor Chris Hemsworth, A.K.A Thor, and last but definitely not least, Fran Kranz, plays Marty, the stoner friend. Marty looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and you kind of expect him to die first, seeing as he smokes marijuana and acts like a goof. Somehow, this seems to make him more likely to
OH HEY THEREEEEEE....
survive. Moral of the story? Smoke pot? This movie people will is basically a love or-hate situation. If you are a traditional horror movie fan, you might think this is a joke. As much as it scared me, and made me jump out of my seat, I was amused and laughing the whole time. It really is a weird mix of feel-
Photo Credit: media.theiapolis.com
ings. The movie starts in a customary slasher fashion when a bunch of kids go to a secluded cabin in the woods to spend a weekend partying. Things start getting weird at the cabin and the movie becomes more sci-fi as it continues because of an unexpected twist in
the plot. This is when the two weird scientific dudes Sitterson and Hadley, played by Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford, come in. Although some parts of this movie are predictable, the concept is original and the execution is interesting. The script is witty and satirical which makes for a great contrast with the visual. The filming is interesting but nothing very special. If you want a serious horror movie or an artistic film this should not be your first choice but if you want to see something new and you are open to a mix of genres, then go for it. I assure you, you will have quite a laugh. I know it was the case with me and the rest of the people in the theatre. The Cabin In The Woods is a movie full of intrigue. You don’t know what is happening until the very end. The mysterious atmosphere that’s created keeps one on the edge of their seat for the entire movie. But, if you are cynical and like movies to be realistic or artistically inclined then this is definitively not a movie you should go see.
the plant weren’t the text skinny kind when i bought them :( theplant plantthese the plant plant text thethe plant the plant text jeams text text text. the text text. textthe textplant text text.
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tee-hee-pee-pee movie RACHEL POCHAT SELBY PADAWAN
VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
working on his identity and getting over Stifler’s mom. Jim’s dad plays a bigger part in this sequel, which I was happy about. He is just so funny! Towards the end we also see some other minor characters such as Jessica and ‘The Sherminator’ who, in my opinion, could have been more present in the rest of the movie. If you have no idea what I’m talking about maybe it’s time you have a movie night and watch some good old classic teenage comedy. Of course, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. If you are not into these mindless teenage comedies where most of the time sex is the focal point, then don’t watch it. This movie is good for a good laugh but if you looks for deep content and meaning this movie just won’t cut it for you. It does touch on some issues that are less of a joke but gives them a humorous twist. This movie can be enjoyed by people who have not seen the previous ones but I definitively recommend watching the other ones first. Reason being: it is a reunion and if you don’t know the characters background, it’s just not as funny. It would be like going to someone’s high school reunion that you didn’t go to school with, it would be entertaining but not quite the same as going to your own. So, if you ever watched American Pie and wondered what they would be like in 13 years, go see it. If not, well go see The Hunger Games or some other movie.
The weekend of April 6 kicked off with a blast from the past with the release of the new American Pie movie titled American Reunion. The title pretty much says it all. The kids from East Great Falls, Michigan have grown up and are having their high school reunion. If you’re a fan of the old American Pie movies, you will probably like this movie. All the characters from the first couple of movies are at the rendezvous. Jim, Michelle, Jim’s dad, Oz, Heather, Kevin, Vicky, Stifler, Finch, Stifler’s mom and many others reunite and fall back into their old ways. Most of the class of ‘99 are married or have a little routine which they break out of for the weekend and like the previous movies, they go through quite the ordeal to figure out what they really want in the end. We watch them all work out their issues in different , crazy ways. The few people that were in the theatre were all laughing their heads off for just about the whole movie. Although the plot is quite similar to the other movies, as someone who enjoyed the original American Pie movies, I recommend it to others like me. This reunion keeps you wondering what they’re going to do next throughout the whole movie. As always Jim gets himself into some crazy, embarrassing situations. Stifler finds that once again, he is the one person in the group of friends that is stuck in the past and that just has not grown up at all. Oz is still in love with Heather, Kevin is dealing with his feelings for Vicky and Finch... well he is
EMA’S MAN OF THE WEEK: AARON JOHNSON
Nerdgasm KOPISISM BITCHEESSSZZ view of the country and acknowledging it as a religion. Since then, Kopimism has been gaining traction internationally. Actively practicing kopimists are encouraged to encrypt their files, due to harsh copyright legislation that “persecutes” their religion and would have them banned or arrested. Some kopimists are actively involved in protecting their religion: the Canadian Branch of Kopimism has a petition calling for the resignation of Vic Toews, the Conservative MP who attempted to pass an anti-copyright bill in Parliament earlier this year. Of course, not everyone is completely Kopimism-friendly. Many do not want to mix the politics of copyrights laws with something as morally grey as religion, while others find they were kopimists before even knowing what the religion was. They have also been called under fire for their secrecy, since the Kopimist Constitution calls for privacy when practicing (sharing), even though their entire dogma revolves around free information. Supposedly, this is to protest fellow kopimists, since file sharing is still acknowledged as a criminal act by most of the developed world. Such rules were set by the Kopimist Conference, a group of elected officials who advise the churches internationally. If you believe yourself to be Kopimistinclined, then it is easy to start. “For thine is the copy, our power and top ten downloads. In eternity.”
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LAURA MARCHAND STAFF WRITER
EDITOR: Ema Kibirkstis CONTACT: email@example.com
I’ve never been terribly religious, but I just might have to start. A new “pirate” religion, called Kopimism is quickly spreading across the world – and the net. The religion has no god, rules, or fiery brimstone. In fact, they have a single, centralized belief: that information is meant to be spread and shared. Specifically, torrents. Officially known as the Missionary Church of Kopimism (whose name is a pun on the word “copy”), the belief system was started by a 19-year-old Swedish student Isak Gerson, and any form of copying – even the illegal, pirating sort – is “sacred”. They stand for “knowledge by all for all” and believe in the “search and circulation of knowledge”, according to the official site for Kopimism (KopimistsamFundet.se/English). They bolster many mottos and symbols, such as “Internet is Holy”, “Copying is Sacrament”, and “Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V”. Many of their “rituals”, which mostly relate to the copying and sharing of information, music and film, ends with the words “Copy and seed”, referring to the seeding process used to spread information via torrenting. The site of the Canadian branch of Kopimism (KopimistSamfundet.ca) quotes Agni Ortiz, a Canadian artist, stating: “Limiting the use of the Internet and the flow of information is like limiting the use of the wheel. Progress cannot be reversed.” If you question the seriousness of the organization, look no further than Sweden: on January 5, Kopimism was officially recognized by the state, legitimizing it in the
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A Benefit to Remember
VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
18 EMA KIBIRKSTIS SUPER SEXY AND ATTRACTIVE AND SMART AND JUST PLAIN FABULOUS ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR
The Blue Ring Society of Dawson College threw their 15th annual speed painting/auction bash Artists in Bloom April 19 in the third floor cafeteria. For the first two hours of the event, 24 of Dawson’s Fine Arts or Graphic Design students stretched across two walls of the cafeteria. Though most of the students interacted with the impressive crowd, others stuck to their canvases with headphones clinging to their ears. The event drew over 240 family, friends, students, staff and art fanatics and the coagulation of curious spectators made it difficult for others to squeeze by and enjoy the show. Though the crowd was flattering, some of the artists felt a little intimidated: “I was nervous at first, but once you
start painting and get into it, you get used to it. Except for the occasional snarky comments… But I liked it when small children walked by and yelled ‘FISHY!’ at my canvas,” Jonathan Tang Sik Fon, a fourth semester Fine Arts, said who painting two koi fish on a stripped black and red canvas. The artists’ brushes dropped after two hours to begin the auction. This year’s proceeds went to the Elizabeth House, a “private non-profit treatment center for pregnant women, including teens, and young mothers,” as described on their website. “Though every year has a great cause, this year’s really great and touches close to home. Young students supporting young
mothers,” Donna Verrika, Dawson’s Director of Communications, said. This year, Artists in Bloom secured approximately $9,450, which included ticket sales, beverages and the varying paintings sold at auction. The prices for students’ paintings ranged from $110 to $600 and ten per cent of the amount accrued went to the actual artists themselves. “It was nerve-racking,” Tang Sik Fon said. “But it was cool seeing Christelle [Deer Bourdon] get $600 for her canvas. It was crazy.” “The art is amazing every year, but this year the art was across the board,” Verrika said. “Everyone was a strong contender and the quality was exceptionally high.” Simon Davies, chairperson to Dawson’s Cinema, Video & Communications De-
partment, in collaboration with CTV Montreal’s News Reporter, Rob Lurie, hosted the event. Lurie, a Dawson Alumni, took on the task of auctioneer for this, the tenth official year of the event. “I love doing this event,” Lurie said. “I think it’s a great event. So much work is put in by the artists and organizers […] [Artists in Bloom] is something really special.” The event was a great success and rests as Dawson’s biggest, non-profit, fundraiser of the year. Though tensions grew asphyxiating as signs were flung into the air and the yelp of bids overwhelmed one’s senses, the event was actually quite fun, exciting and, most importantly, memorable. “If you have the chance, you should do it,” Tang Sik Fon said. “It’s an experience
For pictures of the Fashion Show scan this badboy:
DRAMA DRAMA MONIKA SEFIS
EDITOR: Ema Kibirkstis CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dawson College’s Student Affairs shows no mercy when choosing wether or not posters may be put up on the school’s banners. The New School Showtime Troop were no exception to the College’s strict regulations with their teaser posters for their upcoming play, Marat/Sade. Their advertisement consisted in an array of mug shots representing the different characters in the play, in this case, the mental patients and staff of the Charenton Asylum. Gabriel Favreau and Terry Chiu, two fourth semester Cinema Video & Communications students who designed these dauntingly beautiful posters were quite frustrated when they were told their pictures could not see the light of day. “The person from Student Affairs disapproved our posters because, first of all, they were smaller than the normal poster size, which made them look like random flyers,” stated Favreau wishing not to denounce the staff member who rejected his work. “They also had inscriptions such as "prostitute", "bulimic", "alcoholic" and "pervert", and their purpose wasn't clear because they contained no precise information regarding the play itself. These three factors reunited made our posters look like they were promoting negative behavior.” The entire Showtime Troop was baffled by the reaction of Student Affairs towards their teaser posters. Dimitri Kyres, a fourth semester Literature student and a member of the troop, was truly struck by their decision.“There are much worse things on the Dawson walls then a little teaser flyer illustrating a person pretending to be drunk. One does not become an alcoholic after seeing a picture of some guy making
a funny face,” Kyres said. “In no way do the posters glorify being an alcoholic, or a prostitute, or even a pervert at all.” Nevertheless, the Showtime Theater Troop did not confront Student Affairs after they had made their decision. “I don't want to put the blame on the person from Student Affairs, whom I'm not going to name, because I know he was not actually against putting these posters up,” said Favreau. “He told me he validated the Dawson College Theater Collective’s poster with "Vagina Monologues" as their title a few years ago, and that he got a serious warning from the school council saying it was inappropriate.” In this case, making a scene would not help their cause. Laura Mitchell is the director of the play and teacher of the class “Intro to Theater” that brings together the students in the New School Showtime Troop. “It is exciting that Marat/Sade is still causing controversy,” she said. Even though their teaser posters were not approved by Student Affairs, Mitchell seems quite confident that New School helps her students break out of their shell and gives them the opportunity to express themselves. “It is, ultimately, the students who decide what they want to read and perform,” she said. Do not miss the Showtime troop’s adaptation of a controversial play in which the inmates of the Asylum of Charenton reenact the persecution and assassination of Jean-Paul Marat under the direction of the sadistic Marquis de Sade. Their show will take place in New School from May 7th to 9th and, from what has been heard, it will certainly succeed in rattling and amazing you with its erratic scenes and its musical numbers.
oh yea he must totally be a pervert, I mean look at him... Duh... Wow. What were they thinking making these? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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19 VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
EDITOR: Oliver Nacey CONTACT: email@example.com
Montreal, we need to talk. LAURA MARCHAND STAFF WRITER
Montreal, we need to talk. It’s been a while, and I understand things haven’t been great between us as of late. You seem angry, about a lot of things. Occupy movement was a little spat, but then there were brutal anti-brutality marches, harpings about Harper, not to mention the student protests (and protests and protests). If I see any more red squares on historic monuments, I’ll scream. What’s gotten into you, city? You’ve always had a habit of standing up for yourself. It’s one of the things I love about you. Sure, we’d get into little scrapes once in a while, a little hockey riot here and there to keep things interesting, but you’ve hit a whole new level of “crazy” over the past year. It’s not if there was a conflict, it was where. Can’t someone walk down St. Catherine’s without getting tear-gassed now-a-days? Is it so much to ask, that when I get off the metro, I don’t walk into a warzone? “But it’s the police’s fault!” I’ll be the first to admit that Montreal Police can be a bit … strong-willed, to say the very least. They have to be to put up
with you. And yes, they probably pushed it a bit too far. But you guys brought a gun to a knife fight. Throwing rocks at police? Bricks on the metro? Smoke bombs? Setting buildings on fire? How is any of this supposed to help your cause? How can you not expect police to go full-force, when you’re forcing yourself into the Palais? (Besides, it really doesn’t help that one of the “peaceful student organizations” refuses to denounce what’s been going on. Stay classy, CLASSE!) I was watching the news recently, and they were speaking about the uprisings in the Middle East. To paraphrase, they suggested that to win a battle, to change a regime, you have to have the people on your side. Guess what, Montreal. You’ve lost us. Occupy accomplished nothing. We know we hate Harper, we’re Quebec from god’s sake, it’s our job, but we have a couple years of him left to go. The police can be brutal, but when you start flipping cars, they need to be. And if you’re going to throw rocks, metal rods, and try to crash a metro car, then guess what? The police aren’t the enemy. You are. I don’t know what you’ve become, but I don’t like it. To be honest, I’m scared of you, Montreal. You’ve become a violent caricature
This is our purrty city.
of the city I knew. I don’t want to drive down the Ville-Marie waiting for rocks to go through my wind-shield. I don’t want to spend half of my work-shift cleaning red paint. I don’t want to walk out into the street and worry about batons and blood on my way home anymore. Where’s the place I fell in love with? Where is the random music on the street,
I am Français. MJ CROMP STAFF WRITER
I turn red. I feel hot and cold. I have the impression that everybody's targeting me with their eyes. It's like I'm in front of a crowd of 2,000,000 people. I get nervous. Maybe you felt that horrible feeling once in your life, but you must've experience it in a totally different situation than mine. This is how I feel when I have to... speak in English. Being labelled as the Francophone girl is like a slap in your face. It's also pretty insulting when in the middle of an oral presentation, the teacher cuts you and asks you if you would like to do the rest of it “en français”. *slaaaaap*. My high-school English teachers didn't do a great job. "Where is Brian? Brian is in
the kitchen". WHEN WILL I USE THIS IN LIFE?! Yes, that's the basics, but don't push it. Four or five years of this crap is too much. English teacher doesn't make their students practice their speaking enough. It's always grammar, grammar, grammar. That’s why I have a hard time speaking in English publicly. If I had a choice of deciding to learn English, than French when I was younger, I might have taking the opportunity. But, unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. This annoying accent of mine will stick with me for the rest of my life. It seems I'm always on the wrong team, and I have to tell the 90 per cent of you, it sucks. The other thing is that I’m having an identity crisis: I’m not the same person in the “English world”. If you know me as a French speaker, you must know that I have things to say and I talk ALL the time. But if you know me as an English speaker, I'm as silent as the monk in the wheelchair in
photo credit: speakfrench.ericback.com/
The Hangover: Part II. If I want to say something in English, it has to be worth it, because otherwise, I don't talk. Ever since I'm in Dawson, I'm a GREAAAAT listener and unfortunately, it affects my participation grades in most of my classes. Maybe I’ve been complaining a lot here. I aware I’m in an Anglophone cegep. I know what I signed up for. Every Francophone in this school have their own reason to be here. Mine is that writing in English comes easily to me than in French. There are so many grammar rules to learn that still today I don’t speak always correctly in my maternal language. From my point of view, speaking English is easier, and that’s why I want to improve it. Since Wolfe won his battle against Montcalm, the French language has been in danger of disappearing. I see this danger coming closer and closer. In their March issue, L’actualité magazine released an article about the future of the French language in Montreal. Apparently, the survey proves that the Francophones’ battle to save their language is essentially lost. That being said, this whole "Vive le Québec libre" and the loi 101, I don't believe in it. Francophones have to speak English, even if they have to learn the basics. We will not survive without knowing it. Being served in stores will be complicated, and finding a job will get harder and harder if you don’t speak both English and French. We live, after all, in a non-official bilingual city, which I still don’t get, because wherever I go, I hear people speaking English. Why is Montreal’s official language still French?
photo credit: germainmontreal.com
or the lazy Sundays on Mount Royal? I miss being able to walk to the Palais de Congres, if only to play hop-scotch in the shadows of the coloured window panes. Now, I find only broken glass, red paint and battle cries. We can fix this. I’m fine with you standing your ground, but now you’ve lost the ground to stand on. I can’t, in good con-
science, say that any of this is right. I don’t even know what you’re fighting for anymore. So, let’s take a break, Montreal. See other cities for a couple of weeks. I’ll pop back in in the summer. Maybe some sunny weather and a Sunday on Mount-Royal will cool your head. If not, well … I hear Vancouver is nice.
Musings Throwable Things
Gouda Bricks Feta Smoke Bombs Swiss
Emental Parties Monterrey Jack
Kraft Dinner Balls Brie Hats Blue Semi Colons Gorgonzola Morgan Freeman
the plant maricar and steph’s dogs are twins the plant except theyre black and white respectively the plant michael jackson would be proud.....? the plant
THEGOODMASTERWASSUP.e$S:The Master 12-04-25 10:18 PM Page 20
The Friend Zone
VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
Another major part of the friend zone, and ladies this is for you…getting brozoned. You know when you meet a guy and you are not trying to be those prissy girls they say they hate and then you end up getting put in the friend zone as soon as they say “You’re so chill, you’re like one of the guys.” And for the women, I will have to admit, from personal experience, it is kind of our fault. We don’t really realize that there is a limited amount of fucks guys actually give. We women analyze way too much everything. We’re all like, “OMG, his hug was extra-long today!” and guys are like “Okay.” It is true that we’re insecure in various ways but really guys don’t care about that shit. If you like him, you might as well go up to him and be like “Hey, I kinda like you.” And he’ll either be willing to give it a shot or not. And if not, at least you tried and you can stop pondering over what you thought you could’ve had. There is no secretive way or subliminal message we can give them to show them how much we like them unless we tell them. Straight up. Honestly, what I’ve learned is that they do not care about these small things we women look at. They do not. So we should stop trying to make them see it because the only people we are hurting is ourselves. But people in the friend zone, there is one thing that we must learn how to cope
with. And that is learning how to grow balls, being patient and being able to move on. Sometimes, being in the friend zone also requires you to be…the dreaded third wheel. “Come join us to the park,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said. In your head you’re like, “NO! Fun for you while you frolic in the park with your significant other holding hands while I sit there watching.” You say. It isn’t the worst thing in the world being the third wheel either. I mean at least it means your friend-zoner is at least thinking about your feelings and eventually will piss off their temporary other half. But that is likely to happen so what I suggest? Politely decline, fulfill to your friend zone duties and try to move on to the next one. With over seven billion people on this Earth I guarantee you that it is probably impossible for you to be forever alone. I mean cupid probably has some fucked up plan to make you feel all miserable while everyone around you is happy and in 10 years you’re the only one married with the 2.5 kids and white picket, wisteria lane house. In reality, if we are just ourselves and live our lives one day at a time, and not think about being friend zoned and trying to escape it, and maybe grow a pair in the process we might not end up like the present day How I Met You Mother’s Ted Mosby.
Dear Committee of the Lyne that is Beauchamp, You most ridiculous with claims against the CLASSE of students who are most pissed off. Bitch please! You say condemn violence, they condemn violence. Then you get pissed off that they no only break secretary’s glasses but not condemn civil disobedience . This is hard to doing because your people have told police that it is most acceptable to beat shit out of innocent student who is wearing red square because supporting boycott is now civil disobedience. It is most nice that you have decided to sitting down with unions because you not want to lose elections. Make sure you no fuck up because if you act like you always do, say most gracious goodbyes to your position in government! Yes, student Proletariat will storm government ministries and raise the red flag over the National Assembly! Long Live the students! Now back to shitting on your face. Pray to your God everyday that student are running after you and not the whole infrastructure that tell you what to do. They think you have all power. How stupid they are! Do they not know that it is a network of department directors and sousministre that run your most liberal corrupt government.
If they only knew truth...Your Province of the Quebec would be in flames and it would be run by people with a one half bachelor. If I were you I would call up Premier Charest and libertarian party, including Youth wing, and tell them that it is time to stop treating province like fiefdom and remember that you are elected to serve people. If not, we will gladly take over. Good luck tit Lyne! Yours Sovietly, Commissar Anton Plakov
KThanxBai DANIEL SAILOFSKY
EDITOR: Oliver Nacey CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org
Girls, listen up. There is no difference between “hey” and “heyy” and “heyyy”. I promise. I’m talking, of course, about texting. That’s how everyone communicates these days, and so, it comes as little surprise to the male population that women have felt the need to make it more complicated than a Quentin Tarrantino movie. Girls dissect and analyze text messages when there is absolutely nothing to analyze and dissect. They look at every message sent from a guy as if it is some elaborate National Treasure type clue into the deep recesses of his mind. Please stop for a second and think about who you’re dealing with. Guys are stupid. You say so yourselves all the time. Do you think we sit in front of our phones for 10 minutes, wondering what you meant with that extra emoticon? Do you think we sit there sweating, contemplating the potentially drastic results of putting a smiley face or a teeth-showing smiley face, or putting one “p” at the end of our “whatsup” or two? We don’t. We’re probably thinking about lunch, or sex, or both. If a guy says he’s excited to see you, guess what? It means he’s excited to see
you. If you know what the words “excited” and “see” mean, then you should be able to decipher the meaning of the message. Don’t think I haven’t done my research on this crazy female behavior. I know most of you do it, so don’t even pretend otherwise. I’ve had a friend of a friend (girls of course) ask me why I’ve been text flirting her friend. First off, why are you telling your friend about our conversation, and second, I asked you how your day was, not how many karats to put on your ring. I’ve even heard a female friend of mine ask another friend, in real, non sarcastic distress, if she should put an exclamation mark, a happy face, or neither at the end of her text. This matters so little, Mary Kate and Ashley Olson called and they want their irrelevancy award back. The ball’s in your court now, girls. It’s time to stop writing your little hidden messages where we’re supposed to magically understand that when you said “I like cauliflower” it really meant “let’s go on a date”. You wouldn’t say to a dog, “oh, Spot, I just cleaned the floor”; you’d tell him to get
Check dat phone.
photo credit: howtotextgirls.files.wordpress.com
the fuck out of the house and shoo him off because he was dirty. The same thing goes for men. Tell us exactly what you mean and what you want, and I promise we’ll be real with you in return.
Got it, girls? Perfect. Bye. That’s right, bye, with no extra e’s and no smiley face. That’s it.
the plantthe plant demplant lips ontext demtext woman das like next level angelina jolieplant shit the mmmmm whatplant i like the plant the plant text the text.plant text text text text. the text text text text. the
THEGOODMASTERWASSUP.e$S:The Master 12-04-25 10:18 PM Page 21
Man of the Week
Oh girl... This is seriously fucked. You need to tell your boyfriend he needs to calm. the fuck. down. It's a dog. Not another man. Is he off his rocker? In my personal point of view I would run away from that boy as fast as I could. He sounds like a psychopath. If he's jealous over a DOG then what do you think he's going to do if another man talks to you when you're out with your girlfriends? Sounds like way too much trouble for you to deal with. Especially this young in life. I say ditch him and then you and your dog can cuddle all you want in bed. Remember, you're a strong independent woman who don't need no man.
VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
what happens to Rachel and Finn, Quinn or Puck. They are all horribly daft characters. The only person I care about is trout lips Sam and I don’t even think Chord Overstreet (Yes, that is his real name) is even part of the regular cast anymore. I was curious to understand why I lost interest so quickly. I haven’t changed all that much in the past year and I am still watching most of the same shows I did before. So I decided to do a little research, especially after I found out that FOX renewed the series for a fourth season. When typing in the words Glee and Ratings in the Google search bar (yes, this is A+ journalistic research) almost every article that appears contains the words all time low, or shedding viewers, or just simply, drop. According to an article written for The Wrap.com back in December, Glee, at that point in its season, had lost nearly a quarter of its viewers. This is worrying for a show in its third season. More recent articles from the past few weeks have Glee in the red zone as well, steadily declining in viewers each week, often during the hour it is airing. Now, I know the Neilson ratings system isn’t perfect. It only takes into account certain households, and Canada has no play in it. However, it is amazing how quickly the hype for the show died down. Are we
My boyfriend gets really jealous when my dog jumps on the bed during sex. Help. -Frustrated
Love and Lube, The Skank
that fickle? Do we give up that easily? In addition to the fact that a lot of the students I know who don’t watch it blame it on their busy schedules, I also think the show’s writing is quite inconsistent, and I feel this plays a large role in why people got bored. The show was never meant to be a silver screen masterpiece (at least I hope not) but the writing has gotten a lot worse. The episodes are all over the place and I don’t need to be a Cin/Vid/Com student to tell you that the characters themselves aren’t written properly. It’s like they are all suffering from their own type of multiple personality disorder. To cover all that up, the writers throw in random song and dance numbers. Sure, it’s great when they fit the scene and blend in well. It’s awkward as hell when it is squeezed out of a scene, like they are grasping at straws to try to make it work. Oh no, Rachel’s cell phone isn’t working...let’s sing Telephone by Lady Gaga. Slushie to the face? Cut to scene of Mr. Schue being extremely unprofessional and creepy, another scene, oh no, no more tater tots in the cafeteria, better sing a Michael Jackson song. Sometimes I wonder if a group of squirrels write the show. That aside, the actual cast has benefitted greatly from being a part of this show. Lea Michele, Corey Monteith, Darren
Criss and Chris Colfer, to name a few, have all become house hold names, receiving a lot of media attention and singing deals for movies and Broadway shows. In fact, our lovely former Editor-in-Chief and Plant Lurker Dahlia informed me that Colfer’s movie premiered at the Tribeca film festival last week. Michele starred opposite Ashton Kutcher in the cheese fest that was New Years Eve, and Mark Sailing (Puck) and Matthew Morrison (Mr. Schue) both released albums in the past year. They are pretty horrible to say the least, but hey, at least they actually got to release them. Oh how low the standards have fallen. My point here is even if FOX will ride out Glee and let it die a slow and painful death, instead of doing it the British way and ending the series while it still has some dignity, the cast has reaped the benefits of being on a show which sparked a worldwide phenomenon. Keep riding the wave guys, because the music won’t keep playing forever. Another important point to make, Darren Criss is possibly the best thing to happen to this show. His talent is indescribable, with his voice, smile and pink ray bans impregnating women all over the globe. This is all according to a fairly reliable source. (Happy Dahlia?)
the plant I HIJACKED YOUR SECTIONS plant plant OLIVER IM the SORRY I LOVE YOU AND I OWE love text. dahliathe :). the the plant plant the HUGS plantthe plant text the text plant text text. text text text text.YOU text text text
thanks cass! and oliver <3
CASANDRA DE MASI DAHLIA’S FAVORITE PERSON
DAHLIA BELINSKY FORMER EDITOR-INCHIEF AND GLEE EXPERT/FACT CHECKER
EDITOR: Oliver Nacey CONTACT: email@example.com
Here’s what you missed on Glee...everything. Well, that’s the situation I am currently in. I cannot remember when I last watched the hit FOX TV show that swept the nation two years ago, creating a school choir phenomenon. Just a year ago I was so hooked that I found the time to watch the episodes despite my busy schedule. Lately I haven’t even been bothered to take the time to watch any of them, even when I find myself with some free time. I thought it was only me, but I’ve asked around, and the feeling is fairly mutual among many former Gleeks. The show obnoxiously took over the world when it first debuted in 2009. It brought new meaning to the musical and comedy genre, especially because it was aired on prime time television. While the show was never actually praised for its writing, it had dynamic song and dance routines, cheesy yet compelling plot lines and love octagons, and a really good marketing team. Everyone became self-proclaimed Gleeks, and the popularity of school choirs jumped. Even those who hated the show were always talking about it so it garnered even more publicity from the non G-leevers. But now what? I honestly don’t care
Dear Devito Lover This sounds like quite a pickle you have yourself in. I can see how your boyfriend could easily misinterpret that for something much worse.. especially because it's hard to explain you got a thing for the Devito... (seriously? Devito? I'm not one to judge fetishes or anything but that is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard...) All I can really say is try sitting him down and explaining your secret crush and hoping he's understand. If that doesn't work then I'm sorry babe but you're pretty screwed and have to just wait until he cools down and sees the light and that you're a good faithful girlfriend (I'm assuming.)
Skanks I have a huge secret obsession with Danny Devito and I accidentally yelled out "Danny!" during sex instead of my boyfriends... Now he's really pissed and thinks I'm cheating on him... What should I do? -Devito Lover
Name: Richard (Rich, Richie, Richie Rich, not dick) Nashman Program/Semester: Commerce/ 4th Semester Age: 18 going on 30 Hair: Brown with a natural red stripe Eyes: Brown Interested In: Clothes, shoes, cars... did I mention clothes? Favorite Movie?: The Blind Side Favorite Class at Dawson? Why?: Photography (Peter Berra + Valerie Simmons). The teacher makes the class. Do you believe in Love? Why or Why not?: Of course! Nobody would be here if there was no love. Program you dislike at Dawson? Why?: IS, just because. Animal you'd be? My dog a.k.a the pampered pooch, who doesn't want to lay around all day and sleep? Favorite sex position?: Any. Opinion on the Plant?: Very informative Weird obsession?: Justin Bieber Going to University? If so, in what program and where?: Undecided... Concordia or Ottawa U. Either Sociology or Honors Business. . Favorite body part?: Definitely eyes. Opinion on student strike?: Bricks belong on my house and not in the metro... Where can people find you?: Starbucks in Alexis Nihon, Starbucks on Monkland, Starbucks in TMR, Starbucks on Sources, Starbucks on St-Jeans.
THEGOODMASTERWASSUP.e$S:The Master 12-04-25 10:18 PM Page 22
22 VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
EDITOR: Samantha Mileto CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org
Hometown hero SHAUNA ZILvERSMIT STAFF WRITER
Dawson Blues Women’s hockey team winger and assistant captain Gabrielle Davidson’s ambition, dedication and modesty has taken her a long way in her drive for a spot on the 2018 Winter Olympic roster. Davidson didn’t start playing hockey until she was nine years old. Instead, she was playing soccer and skiing. Though she enjoyed playing both sports, hockey was what she really wanted to play because of the freedom she felt when she skated. “I thought [hockey] was fun,” Davidson said. “The skating part I think was the thing that really got me into it, being able to skate around and do whatever I wanted.” Although hockey was the sport Davidson really wanted to play, her parents were reluctant to let her join. With her two other brothers, her twin Alex and younger brother Will, wanting to play hockey as well, traveling to games would be a problem for Davidson’s parents. However, eventually they caved and let her play, but she had a condition to follow. “They let me give it a try,” Davidson said, “but I had to play on the same team as my twin.” Ever since she played on that first team with twin brother Alex, the West Island Atom B Avalanche, Davidson has continued to push forward and move up into higher levels of hockey. While she contin-
ued to play with the Avalanche, she was in the Sport-Études program at John Rennie High School, where she continued practicing with the boys because there were very few girls in the hockey program. After five years of playing on West Island boy’s teams, she switched over to the West Island AA Midget girl’s team, a year earlier than the normal age and played there for three years, until she made the Dawson Blues Women’s hockey team. Davidson, who was accepted at Dawson and John Abbott, chose to study Commerce at Dawson. She believed Dawson was the better fit because of the hockey program. “Its a very good school and there were more opportunities hockey-wise at Dawson,” Davidson said. “It was either Abbott or Dawson and because the hockey program was better and more successful at Dawson I chose to come here.” Her persistence as young girl who loved to play hockey allowed her a spot on the Quebec team roster when she was 14 years old and stayed there until she was 17. Her three years on the team gave her the opportunity to go to the Canada Games and the Nationals twice. In 2009, she made the U-18 Canadian team and stayed with them before she made the U-22 Canadian team. “It’s an honour to represent my country, especially because it’s a sport I’m passionate about and love,” Davidson said. “Just the feeling of wearing the maple leaf, knowing your one of the few given the opportunity
represent your country is incredible.” With the amount of time she spends on the ice, she has to find time for her school work. Between Dawson trainings, Team Canada camps and school, Davidson has her work cut out for her. Because of her determination and excellent work ethic, Davidson finds a way to do it all. “It’s more then a full time job because [I’m] constantly doing something, whether it’s homework, studying, training at the gym or playing a game, and all of it together makes [my] life very busy,” Davidson said. “I think it’s a good challenge though, it prepares you for the future by helping you work on your time management skills.” Everything Davidson has done up until now has put her right where she wants to be in her dream of one day making it to the Winter Olympics. Next year she will be attending McGill University where she has received a scholarship from The “Fondation de L’Athlète d’Excellence du Québec” that pays all school expenses to athletes who choose to stay in Quebec for school. Though she had at least 15 other offers, including many of the Ivy League schools in the United States, Davidson felt like McGill was the best fit for her because of its’ reknowned Business program and McGill Redman head coach Peter Smith. “What I like about [Peter] is his passion for the game and his passion towards helping young players develop and reach their goals,” Davidson said.
Team Canada WOOO
Photo Credit: Facebook.com
Running wild ANDREA ROULET STAFF WRITER
Dawson women’s rugby player and Montreal native, Bianca Farella, known as “B” by her teammates, has been a key piece of the Blues’ rugby team for last three seasons. Her speed, experience and dedication will be missed as she graduated from the Pure and Applied Science program at Dawson last December. Bianca began playing rugby in Grade 7. When she arrived at Dawson, her lightning speed initially earned her a spot on the wing, but in the most recent season she also played as fullback and mostly outside centre. Having experience with the Town of Mont-Royal Rugby Club, Canadian Senior Women’s 7’s team in February, U- 20 Canada team and Senior Quebec Women’s team in summer 2011, as well as the U-19 and U-17 Quebec teams in younger years, Farella is on the right track to meet her goal of representing Canada in the 2016 Olympics. Farella considers her first season with Dawson, “my huge growing year,” and describes the Dawson Blues rugby team as a family. “Our coaches really instill a family feeling in us, because rugby is all about doing your job, and trusting that your teammate next to you will do hers,” she said. “[In my
first season with Dawson] I learned so much, and grew as a player.” The young athlete also admitted to having always wanted to play flanker, certainly quite a different position to her normal spot in the back line. Bianca said it felt great to beat the John Abbott Islanders in the finals last semester, especially on their home field. Bianca and the Blues have met the Islanders in the finals for the past three seasons, and taken home the championship title the last two. According to Farella, this year’s final felt different. “I think myself and each of my teammates had a different idea going into that game about how it would turn out. I've heard some people say that they thought we'd win by 50 points, we ended up winning 12-5.” She added that it really was anyone’s game. Farella earned a spot on the all-star team at the end of the final. Although leaving Dawson’s rugby scene, Farella has a bright rugby future. In February she was invited to play with the Canada Women’s 7’s Team in Las Vegas. She praises the experience, and says she looks up to the women who she shared the field with this winter. “[The Senior Canada women] were so nice and welcoming when I was invited to play with them […] they made my first experience with Senior Canada so great!”
Photo Credit: Alan Ankutowicz
Get out my face
the plant Whatsup y’all It’s Daniel the plant
They call me the white Larry Bird
jokes I’m not white..
THEGOODMASTERWASSUP.e$S:The Master 12-04-25 10:18 PM Page 23
Healthy habits Expos exposed
23 STAFF WRITER
BARBARA MADIMENOS SENIOR WRITER
Strength/resistance Most people believe that resistance training is strictly for body builders, but that is a complete lie. In actuality, body building is an activity for this type of exercise. Lifting a few dumbbells here and there won’t bulk you up, if that is not your goal. It will simply strengthen your muscles and bones, which is vital to keep body fat down and create lean muscle, which also improves stamina. Don’t have dumbbells at home? Grab a pot or pan from the kitchen, a vase that can fit into your hand, or fill up your school bag with lots of items to act like a sandbag, and voila! You have weights at home! Cardiovascular
How people exercised 20 years ago
Flexibility is vital in order to function properly in our daily lives. If we weren’t flexible, we wouldn’t have any range of motion within our joints and muscles, and would be feeling sore. One can increase their flexibility by simply stretching for a few minutes every day, whether it’s in the morning when you wake up or go to bed. Take 20 minutes to stretch your entire body from neck to toes. Stretching releases tension formed from stiff muscles, so if you are ever stressed, or sat in a bad position, stretching will calm you down, but also make you feel better! In addition, there are also many sports that can increase your level of flexibility, such as Yoga, gymnastics, martial arts, dancing and many more. In fact, the majority of sports require some level of flexibility, so by joining something like skating would not only help you in becoming more flexible, but it would also increase your cardiovascular level, as well as balance. Balance and coordination It may not sound like a vital area of fitness, but it is. Again, this component of fitness is usually paired with another when it comes to sports. However, if one wants to improve on this section primarily, there are sports such as tennis, volleyball, baseball and archery that require hand-eye coordination. Balancing sports such as yoga, Pilates, gymnastics and any form of sport that calls for equipment to be balanced on, such as skiing, skating, snowboarding, surfing etc, are good options. All in all, one cannot really give the excuse that exercise is not at their disposal. All the necessary tools are right in front of them. Dawson has several sports teams, that include the sports mentioned above in which range in and out in accordance to all four types of fitness! The gym membership is also manageable compared to other places, and students can even sign up for fitness classes. So, take advantage and turn exercise into something fun!
Photo source: home.comcast.net
Jealous Expos fans?
If there are any Expos fans still fuming over the loss of our beloved baseball team to Washington, I would advise you to stop reading. Those of you who have followed the team to D.C, well, you can keep on smiling. The start of this year’s MLB season has been a weird one, with the Dodgers and Mets off to torrid starts while the perennially contending Red Sox still haven’t been able to shake off last year’s late season collapse. But perhaps the biggest surprise has been the play of the 12-5 (no, that’s not a typo) Nationals. People thought they’d be good, but not this good. Since Abner Doubleday invented the game (allegedly) over 150 years ago, there has been one timeless way to ensure success in baseball, and right now, the Nationals are doing it. It’s still early of course, but no one is pitching like these Nats right now. No one. Washington leads the league in team Earned Run Average (ERA), opponents’ batting average, opponents’ on base percentage, and are second in Walks and hits per inning pitched (WHIP). Some of the Nats hurlers, like super prospect and budding star Stephen Strasburg, were expected to produce near this level. It is the unexpected performances that have made the difference. Ross Detwiler is 2-0 with a 0.56 ERA (all stats as of April 24). Jordan Zimmerman has a ridiculous 0.71 WHIP. Relievers Sean
Photo source: US Presswire
Burnett and Henry Rodriguez have yet to give up an earned run over 12 innings. Never heard of any of these guys? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. The Nationals have won seven of their games by a single run, which for many is a sign of warning. Some people may say they have just been lucky, and they may eventually be proven right if Washington begins to struggle. However, the Nats success in close games is also a testament to their bullpen. Even with stud closer Brad Lidge struggling, Washington’s bullpen ERA of 2.43 still ranks near the top of the league. This doesn’t even tell the whole story though. The Nats have played countless close games and pressure packed scenarios, and each time the bullpen has seemingly been up to the task. Washington’s also benefited from some timely, if not consistent, hitting, with grizzled vet Jayson Werth and young gun Ian Desmond leading the way. If All-Star Ryan Zimmerman can get out of his early season funk, then this offence might really start humming, which does not bode well for the rest of the NL. They say pitching and defence wins championships, and so far, the Nats seem to be applying this formula to near perfection. Who knows, with a little added sizzle on the sticks and the same great pitching, the boys from D.C could ride this wave all the way to October.
Photo source: Scott Ableman
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Cardio is either something you love or hate. Many develop ‘runners high,’ as others hate the idea of feeling out of breath with cramps. There is also the misconception that cardio means walking or running. Cardio exercises are actually more varied, and the most popular out of the four types of exercise. Soccer, for one, is a popular sport. Then we have hockey, tennis, cycling, swimming, even boxing, or an increasing popular trend, dancing, such as
VOL. 40 ISSUE 23 - Thursday, April 26, 2012
When it comes to exercising on their own, many say they are at a loss about what to do to get fit. Others don’t want to spend a fortune on expensive gym memberships and some are just lazy and cringe at the thought of a treadmill, or say that they simply do not have enough time. However, exercising does not have to be given such a bad rap; it is clinically proven that exercising actually makes one feel happier. There are four components of fitness: strength/resistance training, cardiovascular exercise, flexibility, and balance/coordination. The best way to maintain, or if you’re a beginner, build a healthy lifestyle is to incorporate all four aspects in a regular exercise routine. One does not need an expensive gym membership to get fit. All you need are a few tips and tricks!
Zumba. All of these activities are easily accessible, and even incorporate other people so one does not have to feel like they are exercising alone turning it into a social gathering!
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