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London Culture Magazine


Reading Between The Lines

wychwood green man lounge on the faRm off the tracks larmer tree shambala truck hop farm kendal calling burning man

...and many more


E ThE FESTIVAL GUID summer 2011




International Development In partnership with

Journalism Competition 2011

Are you an aspiring journalist interested in issues facing the developing world? This is your chance to become one of the 16 finalists taken out on an assignment to Africa or Asia to write a feature that will be published in special Guardian supplements later this year.

Entry deadline: 13 June 2011 Follow us on Twitter @Journalism_Comp or find us on Facebook under The Guardian International Development Journalism Competition Supported by a consortium of NGOs led by Marie Stopes International, including: CARE International UK, The David Rattray Memorial Trust (UK), Direct Relief International, FHI, International Childcare Trust, Malaria Consortium, Plan UK and Syngenta Foundation for Sustainable Agriculture


the festival issue ’d gone to bed. It was definitely that time. Steve sat awake every night. He was a sort of ‘camp protector’, I don’t think he saw any bands. “It’s not about the music,” he would say at a time when it really was about the music. I recall Radiohead and REM. Them were the days. Dan spent three days in an Egg (or so he thought) and Steve just sat there awake. I’d spent the evening with hippies. I clambered out of my tent. I needed a wee, my head pounding, everything not in its right place. The tree 20 metres away seemed like the exodus. With this in mind, I ventured to a nearby tent, unzipping the tent and my flies (I must have been sleeping in my jeans). I heard a murmuring from Steve, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Steve the camp protector was right, I swiftly retreated and, like Moses, headed for the promised land. A lot happens at festivals, lots of things you don’t tell your mum about. Some things should be kept to yourself and some things everyone should know about. A haven for debauchery, policed by volunteers, the BBC and the Mean Fiddler (note the emphasis on the ‘mean’). They are a place where you can get away with almost anything and live to tell the tale. Enjoy the issue. Ed. x


festivals 2011
























about us

Who we are: Editor Sam Lassman Watts ( A rt Director Nathan May ( Sub Editor Joe Bridal ( Editorial Adam Richmond ( Fashion Brenna Duncan ( Music Meabh Ritchie ( & Dan Moss ( Contributing Designers Rebecca Hall & Josh King Contributing Writers Chloe George, Matt Owen, Zoe Dawes, Casey Purkiss, Will Roissetter, Sara Mccorquodale, Harry Milburn, Greg Nay, Caroline No, Bébhinn Thornton Cronin, Kimberley Smith, Cat Lee, Dan Moss, Clinton Cawood, Natalie Davies Contributing A rtists Lara Taylor, Rebecca Hall, Robbie Porter, Alexandra Marvar, Vincenzo Robino Front Cover P hoto ( Page Three Illustration Robbie Porter ( Become a TOSer: A dvertising enquiries: Editorial enquiries: © No reprinting of anything without our permission Printed in the UK by The Magazine Printing Company

So, what’s this all about? You want to know – right? Well, The Other Side is a class A culture magazine. No bullshit about Cheryl Cole or 974 pages of fashion. This is down-to-earth writing, the sort of stuff you want to read and can relate to. Best of all, it’s put together by a team of people who actually love what they are doing. get involved The website feeds the magazine. If someone wants in, they drop us an email and we get back to them. Write... draw... design... whatever it is you do, The Other Side lets your creative juices flow freely. Email us: advertise The place to get your message out there, starts here. You want brilliant content next to your ad? Well you can’t go wrong with The Other Side... all this lot can’t be wrong. Email us:


the other side

CREATE OUR COVER! Cass Art and The Other Side magazine are launching an amazing competition to design the entire cover of The Other Side magazine’s winter edition 2011. Create Our Cover competition aims to give artists and designers an incredible opportunity to showcase their work. The winning design will be featured on the winter edition cover and runners up will receive gift vouchers for Cass Art. PRIZES 1st Prize - Your design on the cover of the winter edition of The Other Side. Plus an exclusive interview featured in TOS magazine and £100 gift vouchers for Cass Art! 5 Runners up will also receive £60 gift vouchers for Cass Art stores! FOLLOW THESE 3 EASY STEPS TO ENTER: 1.Visit and download the asset pack. 2. Design the entire TOS magazine winter edition cover. 3. Send your design to by 30th October 2011 Good luck!

golders green hampstead

west hampstead

1. Adam Buxton at The Idler Academy Westbourne Park/Royal oak, 7pm on Wednesday 15 June, £20 Adam Buxton, one half of Adam and Joe will be giving a talk on the vague theme of ‘creativity and criticism on the Internet’ which will involve some of Buxton’s own videos and some video’s that he especially likes. He’ll be reading the odd You Tube comments and doing some top quality live business too. Wine and nibbles included. Buy tickets at

finchley yoad & frognal

chalk farm

swiss cottage st. john’s wood

edgware road marylebone

baker street

great portland




warren street

bayswater marble arch

notting hill gate shepherd’s bush kensington ( olympia )

high street kensington

hyde park corner


2. Travel Photographer of the Year Exhibition at royal Geographical Society South Kensington, showing until 10 June, free Your chance to view the very best images from the international Travel Photographer of the Year awards – from bright red parrots in Guatemala to a snowy landscape in Greenland. These best entries from 2010 will be showcased alongside some of the Society’s own historical archived images.

2 court

sloane square

green park piccadilly circus st. james’s




3. Vintage in London Waterloo, 29 – 31 July, £60+ Vintage at Goodwood returns this year, but it’s not at Goodwood and it’s had a name change. Vintage in london, brainchild of the Hemingway’s, will cover a 21 acre section of the Embankment with the area transformed into a vintage wonderland. Celebrating music, fashion, film, art and dance clapham common from the 1920s to the 1980s, the festival is a creative feast for all ages. For info and tickets visit


7. hackney Wicked Art Festival Hackney Wick station, 29-31 July, free

archway hampstead heath arsenal

kentish town

kentish town west

over three days, Hackney Wicked brings you exhibitions, open studios, art markets, performance and site specific installation from emerging and established artists based in the area and VIP guests. To find out more info or to participate, see

holloway road

camden town caledonian road & barnsbury

dalston kingsland

highbury & islington


aldgate east

st. paul’s





leicester square






elephant & castle kennington


liverpool street


covent garden


old street

russel square

tottenham court road


hackney wick

dalston junction

angel farringdon barbican


6. TOS magazine launch party Shoreditch, 7pm on Wednesday 1 June, free entry Join us on the rooftop of the Queen of Hoxton for a party in the sunshine to kick start this year’s festival season. With live music, BBQ, fancy dress, fun and games, you could also win tickets to a whole host of festivals!

5. Miró at the Tate Modern Mansion House, until 11 September, £15.50 This summer sees a rare opportunity to view over 150 paintings, drawings, sculptures and prints of one of the greatest surrealist painters; Joan Miró. In the first major retrospective in london for nearly 50 years, Miró’s work is instantly recognisable through a rich variety of styles and luxuriant colour. Book tickets at

4. Government Inspector at the Young Vic Southwark, 3 June - 9 July, £10-£17.50 brixton

The news that a government inspector is due to arrive in a small Russian town sends its bureaucrats into a frenzy. A case of mistaken identity exposes the corruption at the heart of the town. With comic actors Julian Barratt (The Mighty Boosh) and Doon Mackiachan (The Day Today) starring in this classic comedy, you can buy tickets at

CITY Slicker vs country bumpkin

Cuntry Folk Alex James went stir crazy living in his big country house. It was blindingly obvious from the moment he started making cappuccinos out of breast milk. Chloe George sticks up for us city dwellers


s I packed my bags whilst being temporarily evicted a few months ago, a bailiff enlightened me with his bemusement of why anyone would want to live in London. The bailiff is another story, one I will save for my Falsely Evicted Counselling Circle (FECC), but my annoyance wasn’t directed purely at this space-invader who’d sidled out of the corridor into my flat to scope it out and ask how much I’d paid for it.

buggers down in London. If you fell on the road they’d bloody kick you here”. Not surprisingly, I don’t make a habit of going to rural areas and telling all those country dwellers how sick their way of life makes me. I don’t roll my eyes at their hunting practices or sigh at their nosy neighbours. In rural Ireland last year, when the publican told me about how everyone looks out for each other in his village, I didn’t start yawning or ask where the arthouse cinema was. Yet this kind of disregard Llanelli for people’s choices seems “Don’t know why anyone acceptable when it’s the country chooses to live here,” he told me dwellers’ turn to criticise life in in his broad Welsh accent (read: the big city. bumpkin) as his eyes darted around my flat, my books, my Smug pictures on the walls. “Could At a wedding once, someone’s buy a four bedroom house for husband took a similar stance the same price in Llanelli.” He as the bailiff: when I told him leaned against the wall. “Selfish where I lived he visibly stiffened,


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and the level of smugness at his rural location was quite astonishing. Despite the fact that his village contained little more than a derelict garage and someone who remembered when there was a pub in the village, HE feels superior to ME? His beef about London included public transport, unfriendly neighbours, high-priced houses – I was just waiting for him to announce “blacks and gays” as another reason why the city was a den of social and moral decay. It’s the same every time I go home to the medium-sized town I grew up in and bump into someone I knew from school. I can sense the suspicion coming from them, directed to this person who has ‘moved away’. There’s little interest or tolerance in this new and unfamiliar idea, which is why I chose not to live somewhere like that anymore. Stewart Lee does a great bit

Paddy McGuiness performing ‘his joke’ at the local Corn Exchange and a horse at the bottom of the garden of stand up about friends who’ve moved away to the country, sick of house prices and inner city schools. Their initial smugness at the space and community feel soon gives way to the realisation that there’s little to be offered in their new location except Paddy McGuiness performing ‘his joke’ at the local Corn Exchange and having a horse at the bottom of the garden.

electronic age, a world in which there is endless choice. The other month I decided that, as well as my 80s aerobics class where I get to make like I’m in Flashdance, I’d like to dick around pretending I was on an MTV show, so I signed up for a music video class at Frame in Shoreditch. If your madrigal evening is a bit too madrigal-ly or your Spanish cookery class a little too Spanish, you know, Jealous living here, that you’ll find Deep within those suspicious something a little to the left or country folk you’ve left behind right. Even if it is a little further in your home town there’s more up or down on the tube network. than a speck of jealousy at the cosmopolitan lifestyle. Perhaps Seasonal they’re envious of people brave People say that you feel detached enough to move somewhere from nature’s cyclical character different, or that feeling at the in cities, but at this time of year, core of them that you’re having after a Spring of avoiding the more fun, experiencing more pub (a bit) and of embracing excitement, than them. gigs and cinemas and galleries, I choose to live in London I realise how much I love the because I am a child of the way opportunities mirror the


festivals 2011

progression of the seasons here. There might not be so much of the natural world to observe, apart from the colour of the leaves on London Fields or the presence of kale in your veg box. But you’ll notice the pattern of activity change at certain times of year, the rush of September gigs post-festival period, the best films in January, the parks, pub gardens and lidos in summer. But I’m not knocking people who live in places without these things; they have their own joys. I’m not judging anyone, which is an attitude born in cosmopolitan places. They can keep their horse at the bottom of the garden, and I hope Paddy McGuinness blows them away with his ‘joke’.

Follow Chloe on twitter @misschloeg and


MY life as a manwhore

Hi, I’m Interceptor. Going by the name, you’d be quite right to assume that I’m completely lacking in any discernable morals, and you’d be right. So, what am I doing? It’s not like I have feelings or anything is it? Well sugarbumps, I’m here to tell you about a whole other kind of love. The kind that’ll cost ya…


ow, I wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, I’m not a pro. I’m a slightly doughy bald dude in his 30s, hardly the stuff chocolatecoated stud-muffin dreams are made of, but armed only with a lack of ethics and something once described by a friend as a ‘rapist wit’, I do occasionally give a good date. And hey, if I can get paid for it, so much the better. All across London, there are agencies specialising in ‘Introductions’, and while that traditionally brings to mind red-lit buildings in Soho, there’s a whole other side to things. Around the world bored business ladies are deciding they’ve had enough of the minibar and spa – they want some company damn it. Luckily, I’m just the kind of ne’er-do-well who’s happy to step up to the plate. Signing up is pretty easy, although the initial research requires me to wade through an alarming amount of interweb-flesh (all dutifully bookmarked for research purposes), but I finally find a suitable agency. A quick online form, a 10-minute meeting (in Fulham, renowned worldwide for its romantic mystique) to make sure I’m not wearing a suit made from human skin,

and I’m officially a man-whore. After that it’s a simple matter of putting on a suit and some YSL, and sitting around sweating nervously until I get a call. Finally, I have an ‘engagement’. Dinner, a nondescript restaurant near Canary Wharf. A taxi (I know, flash eh?) whisks me into the city, and I seat myself in the bar, sipping

with only Fox News for company.” As it turns out, it’s also about drinking huge quantities of Prosecco and groping my leg under the table. Against the odds it goes well. She makes small talk about business, feeds me gin, talks about art, feeds me more gin. To be honest I should have noticed the amount of gin before a chat about independent film morphed into an impassioned critique of ‘Superman IV’. Luckily it’s getting late, and I assume I can head off £150 richer. I can’t. As soon as we step into the corridor I’m up against the wall a club soda and wondering and subjected to the kind of what kind of one-eyed, physical I’ve not endured since hunchbacked, septuagenarian my prostate check. Fortunately trog would honestly look at a the copious booze hasn’t caused selection of handsome young any ill effects and I’m up to men and point at me. “Yes the challenge. Unfortunately please, I’ll take potato-head”. I’d sort of forgotten that I’m It seems unlikely at best. at her beck and call. It’s an When my date arrives, I’m interesting evening that gives pleasantly surprised. We’ll call me a very new, very deep her Cathy because it will annoy understanding of exactly what my ex. She’s a good-looking (some) women want. Hey, roll Canadian in her late 30s. I buy with the punches. Three hours her a drink, which seems odd but later I’m politely thrown into is actually all part of the service. the cold with a curt thank you. The pimp explains: “It’s a real My wallet feels full but I feel date. It isn’t all about sex; it’s strangely used, so I donate the about having good conversation. cash to charity rather than blow It’s about not being stuck in a it on phonebox cards. My life faceless Hilton in a strange town as a hooker is over. For now.

I’m subjected to the kind of physical i’ve not endured since my prostate check


the other side

The London everyone knows


Big Ben is the name of the bell not the tower on the HP sauce bottle. When explaining this one, always start your sentence: ‘Actually, I think you’ll find…’ then pause and smile smugly and wait patiently to be punched in the face.

by joe bridal


Tottenham Hotspur don’t play anywhere near Tottenham Court Road, West Ham don’t play in West Hampstead, the Gunners don’t play at Gunnersbury and QPR’s team isn’t made up entirely of park rangers.

In 1962, Geoffrey Fletcher brought out the brilliant book, The London Nobody Knows, exposing the dark underbelly of the capital. The 1967 film based on the book is equally excellent, with the meths-drinking ne’er-do-wells and street urchins providing a stark contrast to the Swinging Sixties of mini-skirts, drugs, mods and rockers. But here at TOS, we like to do things differently, so instead of giving you obscurity and exclusivity, here’s a reminder of stuff you should know already – perfect for reeling off to tourists, hot exchange students and Auntie Gladys when you meet her in an Angus Steakhouse on her day trip to see Mamma Mia. So here are the 10 facts about London that everyone that lives here already knows…

Despite the gift shop that sells premiumpriced tat and the coach-loads of tourists, Sherlock Holmes didn’t actually live at 221B Baker Street. He’s a fictional London character, as are Oliver Twist, Dot from EastEnders and Danny Dyer.



It’s quicker to walk from Covent Garden to Leicester Square than making the journey by tube. Saves you up to four quid too. And when you get there…


Y ou can get half-price theatre tickets from the stall in Leicester Square – it used to be called the Official London Half-Price Ticket Booth, but someone thought it would be much more helpful to change the name to TKTS. Confusingly, many of the other stalls called ‘half-price’ aren’t actually half price once they’ve whacked on a big admin fee.


London Bridge was sold to an American and shipped out brick by brick, then rebuilt. Tower Bridge is the more elaborate one with blue bits. It was rumoured that the guy who bought it actually wanted the prettier bridge but ended up buying the wrong one. He has denied this though – well you would, wouldn’t you.



The Tube map isn’t to scale or an accurate depiction of London, or the underground. There aren’t any mice on it for a start, and the tube stations aren’t all arranged in neat, straight lines. Still, it does have pretty colours – and we love it.


The queen owns all the swans. Not entirely true – some of them are allowed to be gobbled up every year in traditional feasts, but she owns most of them. If you watch QI for long enough Stephen Fry is bound to give you all the info on this one.


There’s aren’t any clowns at Piccadilly Circus or Oxford Circus (unless you count the man with the Golf Sale placard).


Mileages from London are calculated from Charing Cross – not the Queen’s House, Selfridges or Centrepoint. If you ’v to im e got any p more great art to hal f-inte bleedin’ o city, bv re ad — the d them a sted visito ious facts a bu s t theo n ma rs to t o y a dif fer nd bore t be we can hersidema ur ouris ent la c g h . o p ts wit ng u a h the the top of f ge s . m in five

festivals 2011

leaving london Dear London, I’ve decided to leave you – it’s over. Don’t block the exit with scheduled engineering works or promises Boris won’t be around forever. Apart from anything else, the Barclay bikes tell a different story. I’m sorry to do this in a letter, but breaking up face-to-face would be too painful and we’d both end up drunk. You’ve been a highly charismatic if slightly abusive lover – enticing me out to warehouse parties, making me rave even though it’s not the nineties. I want to sit at home and watch X Factor without a sartorially correct sense of irony. I want to wear Adidas classics, just because they’re comfy. Look, don’t get upset. We had a good six years together and truth be told I was too young when it started. Remember the time I ended up in that banker’s flat and believed he was inhaling bicarbonate of soda? Good for flu, he said, try some. Oh how we laughed. Minutes out of university I arrived at your door, wearing tan cowboy boots, carrying just one bag and a copy of 1984. I was seduced by your bright lights, your big smoke, your 24-hour off licences. I wanted to meet Pete Doherty and smoke Marlboro Lights while feigning misery and depth. But instead I got mugged six times, developed a slight alcohol habit and got chatted up by the bassist from Cornershop. Oh the disappointment. What a total gloom boom. A 99p Store version of my dream. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like you got me down all the time. You helped me sing in amazing bands, told me it was okay to wear a tutu to my local and taught me writing requires more than just a pen. “Hard work,” you said, stretching your braces, winking conspiratorially, “and then Robert’s your mother’s brother.” (“Ah Bob’s your uncle!” I said at a later date. “Good one London, aren’t you clever?”) And I know this sounds like a cliché, but it’s not just you, it’s me too. Recently I realised it was time to face up to some unpleasant realities: 1. I identified with The Dickhead Song (blog – check, east London abode – check, loafers no socks – check). 2. I bought an over-priced, Blue Peter style, Terry Richardson-photographed, piece of shit t-shirt from American Apparel. 3. I had this conversation outside a bar in Dalston: Me: Hey man, what time is this place open til dude? Doorman: 2am. Me: Rad man, awesome. Rad. Awesome. Dude. Who the hell did I think I was, Bill or Ted? But no one so much as looked up from their iPad at the distinct idiocy of a Glaswegian adopting Californian dialect without a smidgen of humour in London. I was ripe for a merciless character assassination and all people had to say was ‘yeah man’. And so, I’m hanging up my trilby. Cutting the laces out my brogues. Ending all pretension I care about The Drums. You know I’ll always love you because there is no city quite as good as you, my darling London. But our love affair has come to an end and it is time to say farewell. We’ll always have the Victoria Line.

by sara mccorquodale

Love, Sara x


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FAST LOVE speed datiNg

Inside, everyone’s screaming... Everything’s better when it’s done faster, except dating, which isn’t. Matt Owen finds out why...

“I’m a big fan of movies – I run a review site in my spare time.” “Really? Hey, me too – have you seen little Fockers? It was. So. FUNNY.” Derisory sneers it seems, are not the way to make a good first impression. For that matter, neither is going on about Terry Wogan’s wig or mentioning the time you awoke upside down in a hedge, dressed as a member of KISS (Paul Stanley in case you were wondering). of course, I have a long, illustrious history of making myself look like a sex-obsessed buffoon in front of members of the opposite sex. I’ve just never had the chance to do it in front of so many of them in under an hour. Welcome to speed dating. Now internet dating I’m all for. I’ve had a crack on Time out – hey, it’s cool these days, everyone’s* doing it. Speed dating, however, is an entirely different kettle of utter terror. on a regular date you have at least the length of a large Chablis

to convey two important facts: A. that your sense of humour makes up for your face looking like some sort of non EU Regulation Pumpkin. B. You are not going to stalk them in the woods, if they decide to let you walk them home. of course, on those dates you normally know each other at least a tiny bit first. You’ve emailed, or friends have set you up and told you what a great personality** they have. Not tonight though. Tonight I’m in london’s Swingin’ Clerkenwell, pouring Dutch courage down my neck in rapid succession as I nervously eye the unsettlingly attractive women. The only thing we have in common so far is that we’re all between 23 and 35. on paper, that sounds fine, but it’s actually the difference between actually liking ‘Thundercats’ and just wearing the T-Shirt because you live in Hoxton. A very nice lady does her best to calm my nerves with a quick speech and then we’re off.


festivals 2011

Four-minute bursts of randomly screeching your hobbies at a bizarre mix of hipsters, women who are (shock horror) knocking on a bit, and one lady who desperately tries to convince me that living in Belgium with three kids is my target for the night. So how did it go? Here are some examples of the evening’s dialogue: Biffy Clyro are geniuses. Fact. / I really want, like, eight kids by the time I‘m 30 / I was worried it would be all foreigns / I love Dolce & Gabbana and Gucci of course... / I’ve got a spare room if you’re interested / No, I just put my back out last week / It’s an octopus actually. At least one of these statements was made by me. The only other situation you’d hear this would be on a subaquatic version of Craigslist. Not to be down on speed dating of course, it does have it’s plus points. It’s over quite quickly for one thing. Then of course there’s the extra added fun part – hanging around at the bar trying to look nonchalant and James Bond-esque and wondering if you’ve pulled. I have. Her hobbies may include lARP (Google it) but she doesn’t seem entirely mental*** and we arrange to meet up again next week. All that for only £25 eh? At least somebody is making out tonight.

*Lunatics . **False teeth . ***Until two weeks later when she accuses me of having a C-list celebrity on the side.
















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> > >


Keeping it local If hitting the road with a tent and a general disregard for personal hygiene doesn’t really appeal to you, fear not, there is plenty happening in London to fulfil your annual quota of live music, cider and harrowing portaloo experiences. These are some of the best day festivals taking place right on your doorstep by dan moss

The 1-2-3-4 Shoreditch

9th July

Located in Victoria Park, Field Day is considerably smaller to it’s space-sharing companion, Lovebox. Although, that is not necessary a bad thing. Field Day offers a more alternative selection of bands and artists, compared to its commercial counterpart, while still providing a broad scope of musical genres. Now in its fifth year, the festival is hosted, in part, by the London club nights; Eat Your Own Ears, Bugged Out! and Bloggers Delight. Among the long list of DJs playing, the festival also boasts a strong line-up of live bands, including, The Coral, Gruff Rhys, The Horrors, Trophy Wife, War Paint, Zola Jesus, and TOS favourite, Wild Beasts. As with any festival, Field Day is at the mercy of the weather, but anyone who survived the torrential downpour of 2009 can bear testament to the good natured crowd Field Day attracts. Fortunately last year’s weather didn’t require such fortitude, and saw Phoenix headline with a knock-out performance, in the dry.

Held in the relatively small square of grass that is Shoreditch Park, the 1-23-4 makes for a more intimate festival experience, but a good one nonetheless. Don’t expect any big name headliners, but rather a showcase of up-and-coming bands alongside a number of established, alternative artists. Last year’s festival saw Peter Hook perform a set of Joy Division songs and Bobby Gillespie form the super group, The Silver Machine, for a one-off performance. Notable acts in this year’s line-up include The Black Lips, The King Blues, The Raveonettes, Two Wounded Birds, and Sex Beet. At £22.50 for a day ticket it’s one of the cheaper festival options too, although it’s worth keeping an eye out for special offers leading up to the event, last year we managed to catch a limited release of tickets for only £12.34.

A day ticket to this year’s Field Day costs £39.50.

Field Day

6th August


the other side


15th-17th July

Lovebox is one of several festivals taking place in Victoria Park during the summer months, but of those, it is certainly one of the more impressive. Despite being held in an inner-city park, the weekend offers an exciting festival atmosphere, beyond that which you would expect its location to allow. Having grown year on year, both in reputation and size (attendance is expected to top 65,000 this year), the festival has been able to attract an increasingly high calibre of performers. This year sees The Wombats headline the main stage on Friday, with other acts including Metronomy, Beardyman and Flying Lotus. Saturday features an even more impressive line-up, with Snoop Dogg headlining, plus sets from Fenech Soler, The Joy Formidable and Dry the River. Not to be outdone, Sunday brings the festival to a close in equal style with a headline performance by Scissor Sisters, and also 2Many DJs, Beth Ditto and Blondie. In addition to the jam-packed schedule of live music, there’s a plethora of food stands and even fairground rides to fill your day. Tickets range in price, with Friday day tickets costing £28.50 and Saturday/ Sunday tickets each costing £48.50. A ticket for the whole three days will set you back £99.

South West Four

27th, 28th August

If you prefer your music to be faster paced and measured by BPM rather than guitar riffs then South West Four (SW4) may be the festival for you. Up to 20,000 festivalgoers will descend on Clapham Common as it plays host to the massive dance event, which has become synonymous with the biggest names across the electronic sub-genres. Whether you prefer electro, techno, dub-step or drum and bass, there’s likely to be something that caters to your taste on one of the four stages/arenas. Expect a euphoric experience as you dance the day away with thousands of fellow music fans. This year the headliners are Underworld and Pendulum on Saturday and Sunday respectively. Saturday also features sets from James Zabiela and Pete Tong, while Sunday boasts a stellar line-up of Magnetic Man, Wretch 32, Simian Mobile Disco and Sasha. Day tickets cost £50, while a weekend ticket costs £95.

ATP : I’ll Be Your Mirror

23rd, 24th July

This year, ATP are presenting a brand new, two-day festival called ‘I’ll Be Your Mirror’. It will be held at Alexandra Palace, making it one of the few festivals that is actually immune to the temperamental British weather. As curators of the festival, Portishead headline both days, but are also supported by an impressive list of acts, including PJ Harvey and MF Doom on Saturday, and Grinderman and Caribou on Sunday. As well as the live bands the festival includes a cinema, which among other films, will show Richard Ayoade’s Submarine. Tickets are £59 for a day ticket.

London Feis

18th, 19th June

London Feis is an Irish themed festival celebrating the best of Irish and International music, held in Finsbury Park. The festival follows in the footsteps of Fleadh Festival which ran from 1990 to 2004. Although a relatively small-scale event, the organisers have managed to book some massive headliners which makes this festival well worth a visit. Saturday night is headlined by the legendary Bob Dylan, while closing the festival on Sunday is Van Morrison. Other acts over the weekend include, The Gaslight Anthem, Thin Lizzy and a whole host of Irish artists. Weekend tickets are £120,


festivals 2011


Wychwood festival

words: ade @ / image:


ychwood on Cheltenham Racecourse is now in its 7th year and is always a great way to kick off the festival season because it’s so laid back. If you’ve got kids it’s perfect because there’s lots for them to do (workshops, storytelling, puppet shows, Children’s Lit Fest) and festival ‘virgins’ can cut their teeth safe in the knowledge that they are unlikely to get lost or have their tent rifled through. The site is well laid out, you even get to walk on tarmac paths, and the organisation is such that you rarely have to queue. It’s also a doddle to get to by train, coach or bus, car and even bike if you’re the sporty type, the signage in and around Cheltenham means you’re not having to ask for directions at every turn. Music wise it’s pretty much folk, pop and world dominated with festival mainstays like The Waterboys, The Charlatans, Transglobal Underground The Bluetones on the bill this year, although Robyn Hithcock’s tribute to Captain Beefheart should be a bit more ‘leftfield’ and the organisers have been savvy enough to book rising star Delta Maid. They also ‘stand up’ for the unsigned brigade with the BBC Introducing Stage hosting over 20 unsigned acts, which in the past

has thrown up the likes of Stornoway and Kill It Kid – it’s here where most of the really interesting stuff can be found going on. Comedy and cinema also get a look in and there is a great Silent Disco. How much? Cost wise it’s pretty comparable with other festivals; an advanced adult weekend pass setting you back £115 (camping an extra £20) 10-15 year olds go for £55, 5-9 year olds £15 and under 5’s go free. Day tickets start at £37 and go up to £53 depending on which day you go. The food is pretty good and there’s enough to keep most tastes and pockets happy and you’ll find plenty of bars selling real ales and ciders as well as a Double Decker bus selling Pimms!! There are also lots of stalls selling fairy outfits, Peruvian nose flutes and the like…so take plenty of dosh for the kids to blow. Make sure you check out the sun set in the lee of The Prestbury Hills. It really is stunning. Don’t go if... you’re expecting mud, dope and loads of cutting edge rock music. DO go if you want to have a great time with the family or are testing the festival waters for the first time.


the other side

Liverpool The city has more museums and art galleries than any other in the UK. It’s also where the Beatles are from... Oh, you knew? Writing on the Wall Festival This festival has events spread throughout the city. The programme features appearances from internationally acclaimed authors and poets along with renowned social and political commentators. From literary debates to music events, this festival embraces the entire community. Until 28th May.

The exhibition will include Magritte’s major paintings, as well as his early commercial work, collages, and rarely seen photographs and films. Bringing some of the most recognisable images in the world to the North West, this is an exhibition not to be missed. £9 Tate, Albert Dock. Beatles Day People say that there is more to Liverpool than the Beatles. But the band have done a heck of a lot for the city’s reputation. There is a Beatles day with magical mystery tours, live music, fancy dress and outdoor concerts. Following in August there is a whole week dedicated to the Fab Four. July 10th - throughout the city.

Africa Oye This year reggae legend Marcia Griffiths will be René Magritte at the Tate headlining the festival. You can also expect music The Belgian surrealist Magritte is one of the most from across the whole continent as well as Over popular artists of the 20th century, with his work 40 stalls selling the best food, drink, arts, crafts oyead148.5x105:Layout 1 6/5/11 10:50 Page 1 referenced in everything from record covers (think and fashion from Africa in the Oyé village. 18 & 19 Daltry and Jackson Browne) to advertising (VW). June, Sefton Park.

The Biggest Live Free African Music Festival in the UK Saturday 18th & Sunday 19th June 2011

Sefton Park, Liverpool, Free to all visit for more information on the 20th celebration of African music and culture est. 1992

30-03 jULY / DENMArK

Roskilde photography

Arctic Monke y Kings of Leo s / Iron Maid n/ en Foals / Pj har The Strokes vey / M / .I.A how much? Including camping, tickets are about £200.

stalls... keep an eye out for little kids running through your legs to pick up empty paper cups.

how to get there Get a plane to Copenhagen. Flights from Heathrow are about £100. once you are there you can take a train to the campsite from Roskilde station.

What was it like last year? As ever the festival was pretty spectacular. Having Prince helped but then the line up is always storming.

The vibe The festival is massive, it’s the biggest in northern Europe. The campsite is also huge and split into different sections or agoras. Each agora has a theme Cinema, Art City, Poor City, Game City, Street City and Swim. It’s worth making a decision where you want to stay before you arrive. It’s best to camp away from the main entrances to the festival arena, you’ll avoid having your tent burnt down or pissed on. There are hot showers, but they have a weird nude-euro vibe about them (don’t drop the soap). There’s a great feeling of responsibility at the festival and it’s very clean. Recycling is very important and you can get refunds for taking bottles, crates and so forth back to the refund

Pros/cons Roskilde is like a mini city. There is so much to do from swimming and fishing to chilling out in the cinema. The UK contingent is still small but pretty much everyone is super friendly. You can only take 0.5l of liquid into the main festival area, including water. If you like... you’ll like this Glasto is probably the only comparable thing in the UK, but there are other super-festivals similar around Europe such as Rock Werchter in Belgium or Pink Pop in Holland. Best stop on the way If you get an early flight out of Terminal 5 why not try Ramsay’s for breakfast.


the other side

01-02 july / kent

How much? £70 for a day ticket. Quite reasonable, although it only works out a tenner cheaper paying £130 for the weekend. If you want the ‘luxury’ of staying in a tent, you’ll have to fork out an extra £25 too. How to get there Hop Farm is quite easily found by car, on the A228. But petrol’s expensive and car insurance sucks (just ask Iggy); so we took the train: going from London to Tunbridge and then onto nearest station Paddock Wood. There’s a coach service going from there to the actual Hop Farm (it’s quite a way); although we unwisely walked it. I can’t quite remember why: it’s either because we had a crate of beer to get through, or because we thought it would be more scenic. The vibe Family oriented. Last year was full of old acts, and this year’s line up doesn’t look much different.

Hop Farm

What it was like last year Chaotic. It’s a young festival, so the infrastructure was poor…which meant serpentine food and drink queues and water shortages. We even managed to meander our way into the arena on the Friday with just a Saturday wristband on: obviously no one had briefed the security team on the subtle differences between bits of coloured plastic. Expecting a better organised festival this year. Pros/cons It’s a new festival and as such, quite chaotic. Best service station on the way There’s a little Tesco right by Paddock Wood train station, which is good for stocking up on smuggleinto-the-campsite-able supermarket priced alcohol. Not that I’d condone that sort of thing. If you like… your festivals small and less corporate’ll like this.

by Harry Milburn

Eagles / Bryan Ferry / Brandon Flowers / Death Cab For Cutie 21

festivals 2011

7-10 jULY / SErBIA

Exit festival

by will roissetter



Getting there There are a few options of getting to Novi Sad. You can fly straight to Belgrade (pricey) and hop on a train for a short journey. You can also get there from Croatia. I would recommend flying to Budapest and spending a night in a cheap hostel and visiting a public bath in the day to deal with the hangover before making your way to Serbia. We got an overnight sleeper train from Budapest – make sure you book a seat as it gets incredibly crowded and sleeping in a train corridor isn’t great prep for a four-night bender. You can also charter a minibus that takes about six hours and from other reports it is a more comfortable option. Cost wise Serbia is still quite cheap. Fags and Where to stay booze won’t break the bank and about £30 a day The camping option is, as you would expect, loud, will ensure that you are well fed and ‘watered’ for hot and messy (in many senses). It isn’t near the the evening. festival either, but don’t let this put you off. The Exit is a great festival, but be prepared, it isn’t 20-minute walk turns into a ritual and helps easy. Some of our friends experienced racism from generate anticipation as part of the long night both the police (who are a very, very serious bunch) ahead. Alternatively booking accommodation and the locals on a couple occasions. However, at an apartment isn’t going to break the bank in most Serbs are delighted and proud that you are Novi Sad, but make sure you do it early as the visiting and the festival was started up as a protest good accomodation that is available will fill up against the tyrant Milosevic, so the overall spirit is very quickly. that of inclusiveness. ike all good festivals Exit isn’t simply all about the headliners. Good festivals need something that sets them apart from the rest. And what Exit has going for it is its location. The town of Novi Sad where the festival is held is about as inspiring as eating flour, but the fortress that stages the music is stunning. Getting an opportunity to mix with Serbians and a plethora of other Europeans that go to Exit is a great experience. Combine that with watching some of the biggest acts in the world perform surrounded by imposing stone walls, grassy banks and views of the Danube mean that Exit is a unique experience.


the other side

8-10 july / canterbury

Lounge on the Farm

by casey purkis

Who’s on - The buzz: Lounge on the Farm organisers have just announced a rather impressive and eclectic line up: The Streets, Ellie Goulding, Echo and the Bunnymen and The Vaccines will all be heading to Merton Farm this year. Indie labels Moshi Moshi, Transgressive and Chess Club will also be hosting the sheep dip stage so expect a plethora of new cutting-edge music. How much: £105 (adult camping ticket) How to get there: Only a couple of hours by car from London, Merton Farm is just outside Canterbury in the beautiful Kent countryside. For a more environmentally friendly option, trains depart from St Pancras taking just under an hour to reach Canterbury and the Big Green coaches are departing from Victoria on the Thursday or Friday.

decorated Further tent, Toots and the Maytals in the cow shed (complete with inflatable cows dangling precariously from the roof) and the legendary Witchita label’s indie folk offerings were all highlights of the festival. The peaceful Meadows area with stalls and the folk tent was the perfect place to lounge on the farm, soaking up the atmosphere away from the sound systems. Pros: Beautiful country surroundings, rustic farm atmosphere and the perfect place to discover new talent while sipping local Kent cider. Family friendly, plenty of activities to keep the kids entertained at the ‘Little Lounge’. Genuinely electic mix of musical offerings and ready to be discovered new music.

Cons: An unexpected early shut down left many festival goers begrudgingly heading back to the campsite The atmosphere: at midnight after the headline acts, although the Big names such as The XX, Toots and the Maytals organisers have reportedly applied for a later and Mr Scruff have all graced the main stages licence for this year’s festival. of this genuine working farm. Locally sourced Gaggles of over-excited teenagers seemed to food and cider, a comedy stage and Lounge on appear from nowhere and took it upon themselves the Farm’s very own samba band adds to the to provide entertainment for the rest of the village-like family friendly atmosphere. Scattered campsite until daylight. hay bales, maize fields and the odd whiff of cow Capacity for the festival has doubled since last manure add to the authentic festival-in-a-farm- year, which could be detrimental to the chilledyard experience. out, small festival atmosphere. What was it like last year: Last year the sun made an unprecedented three-day appearance, temperatures soared and the festival most certainly lived up to the hype following a number of awards and accolades. The proximity of the three main stages meant that the usual dash between each one was a cider fuelled meander: Wolf people at the psychedelically

Best service station on the way: If you need to stock up on festival essentials, the Medway services on the delightful M2 have the usual shops and junk food outlets. If you’re partial to a retro fast food chain serving reheated meat patties and you don’t mind a little detour, you can whet your appetite at the Wimpy in the Maidstone services just off the M20.


festivals 2011

13-17 july / Near Salisbury

by nathan may

Larmer Tree I ’ve heard it all before: “We’re like Glastonbury, but friendlier and more intimate”. Pretty much every festival in the chasing pack claim to have something of the Glastos about them, but most fail miserably because they don’t offer anything close to the staggering variety of that ol’ behemoth. Larmer Tree, however, has a legitimate claim. For starters, it lasts for five days, and unlike Glasto, there is live music on every one of those five days. Tick. The festival also subscribes to the ‘lack of in-you-face big-name advertising’ mantra that Glasto championed, and arguably spent the last few years backing down on. Add to that, the overriding sense of peace and love and nice stuff at Larmer Tree, and you really aren’t that far off a Glasto mini-me. So it stands to reason they would charge the same price right?

How much? For the full five-day experience, you are looking at something just shy of £200, and… breathe. The ‘good’ news is, you can easily dilute the cost by knocking off a day here and there, so it can work out a bit cheaper. Suffice to say, its yummy mummy and hunter wellies central. Who’s on? Larmer Tree avoids the mainstream chartbotherers and instead, assembles an eclectic lineup of acoustic folk, world music, roots, blues, jazz and some reggae. Traditionally, Jools Holland and the Rhythum & Blues Orchestra kick things off on the Wednesday night, accompanied this year with special guest Sandie Shaw. Other big names include Seasick Steve, Imelda May, Asian Dub Foundation and Ozomatli. Aside from the music, there is also an extensive list of comedians performing, and Larmer Tree can boast more than 70 artists performing across six stages in during the five days. How to get there The festival is held at the Larmer Tree Gardens, on the Wiltshire/Dorset border, just off the A354

between Salisbury and Blandford. If you don’t have the luxury of a motor, Larmer Tree is not the easiest festival to get to. There is a limited bus service from Salisbury train station, but other than that you might be advised to try hitching a lift. Failing that, the Ordnance Survey reference for the area is ST940170 – remember a whistle to ward off the bears. If you are reading this, while looking out the window at your trendy Mini, firstly, I hate you a little bit. But the good news is, you can speed past those mugs on the side of the road waiting for a lift, with your favourite Scissor Sisters track blaring out the iPod. A word of warning though, the festival site shares its postcode with the neighbouring village, so don’t follow your Sat Nav – you’ll end up going in the wrong direction. From London, take the A350 to Shaftesbury and then the A30 towards Salisbury. When you get to Ludwell, turn right and follow signs to the Larmer Tree Gardens. Pros The beautiful countryside location has to be a positive. Waking up to rolling green hills goes some way to help forget the three-hour wait for a bus the night before. Cons Families are great, I like being friendly to them, but being nice comes at a price. In this case, a ban on your own alcohol in the site and a lack of latenight frivolities. If you liked... Latitude, but wanted it to last longer and cost more, you’ll like Larmer Tree.


the other side

Art festivals

Making a day of it.


London is packed to the rafters with art. In galleries... people’s homes... right through to the amazing graffiti and yarn bombing. However, galleries can be tiring and if it wasn’t for those marvelous wooden benches opposite the Turners a big art gallery can really take it out of you. Apparently the air is thinnerinside large galleries so it’s a bit like being in space without the helmet. We say you should make a day of it when looking at art. Plan ahead and where you are going - a visit to the Tate should definitely include breakfast at Borough Market and a walk along bankside. Here’s our top days out with art.

Dulwich Picture House Gallery Road Dulwich London SE21 7AD South London Gallery 65 Peckham Road London SE5 8UH Serpentine Gallery Kensington Gardens London W2 3XA

1. Dulwich Picture Gallery ALL year

This year is the 200th birthday of the Dulwich Picture Gallery and to celebrate they have a masterpiece a month on loan from galleries around the world including Rembrandt, Van Gogh and Gainsborough. After a morning spent soaking up the classics it’s about a mile to Brockwell Lido where you can spend the afternoon sitting in the sun. The newly refurbished Art Deco cafe is a perfect way to spend an arty afternoon.

2. South London Gallery until 3 july

In June the South London Gallery will be hosting a solo exhibition by George Shaw. His Humbrol enamel paintings chart the urban landscape of his childhood home in Coventry. Two miles down the road sits the Oval Cricket ground. We suggest you plan your visit to the gallery to co-incide with an evening 20-20 match. Surrey have a host of England stars inlcuding Kevin Pietersen and tickets start from just £15.

3. The Serpentine from 12 july

Michelangelo Pistoletto is one of the pre-eminent contemporary artists working today. For his exhibition at the Serpentine he will create an entirely new, site-specific installation, comprising a labyrinth of corrugated cardboard. Pistoletto’s exhibition will draw visitors through the galleries, leading them to hidden installations and sculptures. A visit to the Serpentine must be followed by a picnic in Kensington Gardens.


the other side


seTTiNg up YouR owN f e s T i va L So you’ve done the big name festivals. You’ve been pissed off at the rubbish set timings, nearly cried as you desperately queue for a portaloo when your favourite band’s playing, and despaired at the cheese-fest that is the post-gig dance tent. What do you do about it? Well, you moan. Talk about how you’d do a much better job. And sign yourself up for exactly the same thing next year, as you look back on festival memories through rose-tinted glasses. But there is an alternative. ToS editor Sam lassmanWatts has been running his own festival for the last few years. It might sound like a lot of hassle to those of the ‘grinand-bear-it’ school of thought. A lot of organisation. But it can also be the festival experience of a lifetime...

why did you decide to put on your own festival?

We had this space in the garden and a big sound-proofed warehouse-style garage, plus access to an unused wood – it needed to be used. I also had loads of mates in bands and a dodgy bloke who gets booze off the back of a lorry. Charged a fiver to get in and it was drink as much as you can. Messy.

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how did you persuade artists to take part?

Well, it’s a secret festival in a wood, with endless booze. Why wouldn’t they want to play? over the years we’ve had The Joy Formidable, Citadels, Jukebox Collective and othello Woolf (before he was othello) play. last year Videopia turned up and we filmed ET which was pretty awesome.

what was the highlight?

The wall of sound that The Joy Formidable created was immense. But you can’t beat when the DJs get going in the woods. Candles everywhere and pounding music. Some randoms turned up one year, we charged why do people want to come to them a tenner to get in and a small festival in someone’s pointed them in the direction of back garden? the woods. That was it and we See above... plus there’s five didn’t see them again. acres of woods and no twats asking when Radiohead are on. what was the lowest point? It’s really just friends and their The rain is a pain, but it’s not the mates. We don’t put the address end of the world. down anywhere. You have to are you planning a re-run? know us to find it. Maybe. We’ve done it four how easy is it? years running now and each It depends how drunk we get. year is better than the last. I’ve got a mate in lA who wants to did you have a theme? organise it this year. As it gets Ha, yeah. one year when we closer to summer and starts to went to Bestival we thought we warm up it seems like a better should do fancy dress but only and better idea. told about five people. They words Meabh Ritchie turned up dressed as pirates.


festivals 2011

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21-24 july / Huntingdon

Secret garden party Who’s on? With a manifesto designed to encourage wild abandonment and sheer joy in their ‘Gardeners’, Secret Garden Party have no fixed rules when it comes to booking headliners. This year New York punks Blondie share their backline with soul legends Martha and The Vandellas and The Mystery Jets all play the main stage along with festival stalwarts Leftfield and Alabama 3. The line-up transcends guilty pleasures with a host of exciting new bands like LA electro-punks Yacht and their London counterparts Chew Lips. How much? £155. Full price tickets include regular camping, parking and programme. The Vibe Latex grannies chase vicars around the village hall tea room, superheroes spring out of phone booths, fluorescent paint cannons shower group huggers at the floating lake stage while midnight mead parties descend into winner-stays-on mud wrestling, Secret Garden Party’s surreal take on the lost weekend has to be seen to be believed. Since the first event in 2004, the SGP has ploughed its own creative furrow by offering grants to ‘Gardeners’ who have an idea for a stall, art project or, indeed, jelly rink who then make it their mission to create flash mob moments of sheer brilliance for everyone else. The focus is definitely on the experience rather than the music so avoid if you’re pinning all your hopes on seeing your favourite bands as you may get side-tracked.

by caroline no

people last year there were some initial logistical problems that threatened to spoil the love-in, such as a four hour wait to get on site and huge queues for exits, loos and bars. But by the time Friday rolled around the party was in full swing, with secret sets by the Mystery Jets and DJ Annie Mac eclipsing the headliners Gorillaz Sound System by a country mile. At the Artful Badgers stage, located in a shamanic woodland hideaway, Wicker Man style theatrics gave way to the house band Badger Badger and the Egg. Pros One of the most fun festivals around with art, music, theatre and cabaret at its heart. Amazing atmosphere where you’re guaranteed to make at least 20 new best friends. Cons You might develop a taste for nitrus oxide and you’ll be washing the glitter out of your hair for days. Not really one for the serious muso types. How to get there The Party takes places in the stunning grounds of a Georgian farm house in Huntingdon, around 18 miles out of Cambridge, and as such is easily accessible from the north and just over an hour and a half away from London up the M11.

Best service station With such a short commute your best bet is to stop at one of the supermarkets in Huntingdon or Abbots Ripton en route to the site. That way Last year your beverages will still be icy-cold when you’ve With a huge jump in capacity up to 20,000 finished pitching your tent.


festivals 2011

29-31 july / the lake district

Kendal Calling by zoe dawes

A real eclectic mix of dance, folk and mainstream indie

The Cribs / Blondie / Chase and Status The Levellers / Echo and the Bunnymen Beardyman / The Young Knives Also check out: Skinny Lister + Frankie and the Heartstrings

Hou much? Adults with camping £102 (inclusive of booking fee). For an extra tenner you can get into the campsite a day early. There is also a whole range of different ‘boutique’ camping options this year (a new addition) – yurts, hand-made wooden shed-like structures, recycled plastic bunkers, pop-up hotel rooms and teepees. The vibe This is a small festival that’s proud of its intimacy. There are eight performance spaces, all pretty close to each other so there’s no rushing around a massive site hoping not to miss anything. The focus is pioneering emerging talent in art and music (Calling Out Stage and Glow Dance Tent), married to a traditional, agricultural, outdoors ethos (Kaylied Stage). This festival won the 2010 Best Small Festival Award, so you know this year is going to be bigger and better. Last year their headliners were Calvin Harris, Doves, Badly Drawn Boy, Stereo MCs, Dj Yoda, Erol Alkan and High Contrast, with some folkier stuff further down the bill – so they seem to have hit a balance that works.

Pros Comprehensive public transport service, lots of different camping options, good for people with kids, intimate and eclectic and you’re allowed to bring your own booze. Cons None of your own booze allowed into the arena, there have been complaints about the dance tents not being loud enough in the past (but they say they have remedied this). How to get there Train to Penrith and then a shuttle bus. Or they have a Big Green Coach service from various UK locations. Driving, it’s 25 minutes north of Kendal up the M6 and south down the A6 from Penrith. There’s a £5 parking fee as they’re trying to encourage people to share vehicles and use public transport more. If you like… ale and the great outdoors with a side of folk and a big dollop of dance… you’ll probably love Secret Garden Party.


the other side

12-14 August / Near LUTON

Standon Calling


tandon often leave it late to announce their headliners but so far the line-up looks like this: Spiritualized, Battles, Hercules and Love Affair, Penguin Café, John Cooper Clarke, Hypnotic Brass Ensemble, Saul Williams, Errors, The Correspondents, Born Ruffians, Trophy Wife, Malachai, Brassroots, Raghu Dixit, Various Cruelties, Silver Moths, Tripwires… and undoubdtedly lots more to be announced. This is the only UK festival Spiritualized are playing this year – so that’s a big reason to go. Standon Calling has a track record of booking acts that have gone on to make it big; Florence + The Machine, Friendly Fires, Mumford and Sons and The Noisettes all played at the festival before they became widely known. So bear that in mind when looking at the line-up. Ones to watch: Maddox, Cut a Shine, Cocos Lovers, Kidnap Alice, Caravan Palace, and pretty much anyone playing on the smaller stages. An adult weekend ticket without booking fees is £120. Under-18s tickets are £100, and kids under 12yrs go free. Boutique camping is available and prices start at £455. How to get there Standon Lordship is near the village of Standon, just off the A10 approx. 30 miles north of London. Bus: Festival Coaches offer a coach service from London, Bristol and Reading. £35 (London, Reading) and £38 (Bristol) return. Train: Bishop’s Stortford or Ware are the

by zoe dawes

closest stations to Standon Calling. A cab from either station takes around 15-20 minutes and costs between £10-25 depending on the time of day. There will be a shuttle bus back to Bishop’s Stortford station that will be leaving the site on Monday between the hours of 10am and 1pm. It costs £5 in advance on the website. The vibe The theme is Gods and Monsters this year. It’s a serious party festival, with all-night bars, a swimming pool and a night club. A town away from town – perfect for die-hard urbanites with a penchant for the wellies/fancy-dress combo. Pros All-night bars, a swimming pool, more showers and toilet facilities than previous years, easy travelling distance from London (and, if the photos on their website are anything to go by; celeb-spotting). Cons Not a big-name line-up, not a lot of performance art/alternative lifestyle stuff that a lot of other festivals offer. No shuttle bus to the festival from the train station. If you like... Spiritualized, dressing-up, partying hard and all-night drinking, listening to bands who are about to make it big… you’ll love Standon Calling.


the other side

19-21 August / Wales

Green Man Who’s on ? As one of the highlights of the folk music year Green Man’s headliners are always a far cry from your popularist Beyoncés and U2s, with a bent towards cult favourites and Americana icons. This year organisers have scored a home run with Seattle’s finest shanty-rockers Fleet Foxes topping a very eclectic bill. Other highlights include an exclusive set by post-rock heroes Explosions In The Sky, folk duo Iron and Wine, the lovely Laura Marling and the always offbeat Gruff Rhys.

by natalie davies

ale drinkers, indie kids and beard fiddlers with their mix of literature, film, all-night bonfires, comedy and secret performances. Outdoor fun is provided at the art/science experiment in Einstein’s Garden and locally sourced food and drink are provided by the exciting variety of independent caterers and old-timey bars.

What was it like last year? If you’re going to hold a festival in the Welsh mountains you’ve got to expect a little bit of rain but last year it was literally shitting it down for at How much? least half of the duration, which turned the rolling Adult ticket (inc camping) – £135 green site into something of a mud soup. Flaming Student ticket (inc camping) – £115 Lips brought their kaleidoscopic carnival to the main stage on Friday night, with Wayne Coyne’s How to get there plastic bubble turning out to be a smart sartorial Nestled among the magnificent Black Mountains choice considering the sloppy ground conditions. of Wales, the site must be a contender for the title While previous years have been lacking in late of most beautiful and remote festival in the UK night entertainment, 2010 saw the advent of Far (not including British Sea Power’s annual shindig Out After Dark with Greco Roman Sound System at the Tan Hill Inn, the highest pub in all of and special guests Gold Panda continuing the England). Driving to the site via the A40 takes you action until 4am. on a tour through Monmouth and Abergavenny to the Victorian estate of Glanusk Park. The drive Pros takes about three and a half hours from London The most interesting and sought after folk music but there is an active car sharing forum if you with bands you’re unlikely to see doing the would rather let someone else take the wheel. The traditional festival circuit. Great for kids but not nearest train station is Abergavenny (change at at the expense of everyone else’s party. Worth Cardiff central station) and shuttle buses that take going for the dramatic mountain landscape and you straight to the site run from the first train to Welsh hospitality. the last on Thursday, Friday, Sunday and Monday. Cons The vibe It rains every year. A lot. Remote location means Created in 2003 by folktronica duo It’s Jo and an extra day off work for travel. Danny as an ethically minded one-day affair, the Green Man has grown into one of the most loved of Best service station on the way the independent British festivals attracting 15,000 Once you get on the A roads of mid Wales there’s people last year. With more musical credibility not a lot of places to stock up so it’s best to stop on than other family-friendly festivals – thanks in the M4 before you get to Bristol. Membury has an part to their ability to bag exclusive appearances M&S, WHSmiths and they sell a lot of camping from cult bands like the Incredible String Band, gear in case you’ve forgotten any essentials. Avoid Silver Jews and Wilco – Green Man manages to major services in Monmouthshire like the plague appeal to boutique campers, young families, real unless you are in danger of soiling yourself.


festivals 2011

Win Festival tickets

We’re giving away 11 (eleven!) pairs of tickets to some of the summer’s best festivals. You can win them by visiting We’ll also be giving away a bunch at our party on Wednesday 1st June on the roof of the Queen of Hoxton.

find out EXACTLY how to win all these amazing tickets @


Shambala by clinton cawood

Who’s on? The line-up is a secret until you arrive, but expect to see countless bands you’ve never heard of, a vast selection of dirty electronic fare, and more gypsy than you can shake a big stick at. In addition, for the first time this year, nine acts will be decided by a public vote. The buzz This is a real word-of-mouth job, with a loyal very following. Finding out about it is part of the fun. how much? £119+ booking fee how to get there The exact venue’s a secret, and even ticket holders only get given a vague idea of where it is. Green travel is encouraged, so take a train to nearby Market Harborough, or make use of a Shambala Express coach (£16 return). If you have to drive, follow the signs once you’re in the area. The vibe Shambala is non-commercial to the extreme – you won’t see an advert for anything here. There’s a real culture of participation – arts, crafts, you name it – not to mention one of the friendliest crowds on the festival circuit. Expect no end of

random conversations with strangers. The forest transforms by night, with seemingly endless installations and areas to explore, not least a series of suspended nets in the trees to navigate. There’s a real sense of care and attention to detail as you explore these beautiful grounds. What was it like last year? A cold spell tested the mettle of attendees, but no one was deterred - this remained as heartfelt and raucous a celebration as ever. Daytime chilled sounds and en masse dance classes gave way to serious all-night revelry. No complaints. Pros/cons Shambala attendees are responsible for what is undoubtedly the best dress up of any festival on the circuit. This culminates in a parade on the Saturday night that is second-to-none. This is also an extremely family-friendly festival – the grounds virtually belong to children in the daylight hours. Not only that, but there’s a new family camping area this year. It’s held on a bank holiday weekend, so you get a government-sanctioned day to recover. If you like.... hippies, dubstep, arts n crafts, and blessed freedom from being marketed to for a few days... you’ll like Shambala.


festivals 2011

29-05 september / NEVADA

Burning Man F

ive of us friends from uni went to Burning Man in 2006. I went as a 19 year old, posing as a 23 year old to a group of about 20 San Franciscans who ate, slept and dreamt Burning Man. The group called themselves the Coalition of the Chilling and named me Desert Fox. My friend Rachel (soon to be christened Pounce) hooked us up with the Coalition via a Craiglist ad while we were in San Francisco that summer. The Coalition were to give us shelter, food and love. Soon we were in a convoy of U-Haul trucks and mom’s people carriers heading for the Nevada Desert. Driving through the night, and our last pit stop was Reno. In this conservative town only known for its casinos, these pilgrims stand out a mile. We shopped alongside the screeching young and beautiful loading up school buses and trucks. We arrived couple of hours before dawn greeted by ticket checking, whoops and tears as thousands return to the place they call Home. If it’s your first time home, you must ring a large gong to mark your arrival. For six days we were residents of Black Rock City, Nevada. Set on a Native American reserve, the organisers and participants aim to ‘leave no trace’. Each year attracting more and more participants, it seems this challenge is harder than ever. The festival organisers are all burners. After a couple nights duty, they’ll be back on the playa painted head to toe in blue paint driving one of the many art cars which are the only mode of transport allowed at the festival. It is incredibly well organised, and it is for the love of the festival that the effort it made. Barter system The festival is often associated with a barter system but in my experience rather than bartering for goods, people are out to simply give to others. It is overwhelming to what extent; you will see that the regular burners are kitted out with camps to offer gems such as cold towels, bloody marys, roller discos, eggs and big, dirty, blow out raves. You’ll need goggles and plenty of SPF for the

by bébhinn thornton cronin

intense heat and frequent dust storms at this extreme location: the altitude might take getting used to, as might the real contrast between scorching days and cold nights. The festival is set out on the dusty earth flooring of the reserve in a circular plan with the ‘man’ at twelve o’clock; centre camp at six and streets of laid out in a concentric bands labelled alphabetically. The playground space in the middle or the ‘playa’, approximately three miles in diameter, is where the magic happens. Art cars roam at slow speeds, pumping music, ready to pick you up, weaving through commissioned installations. It sounds busy, but there is an incredible feeling of space. Themed pop up bars, chilled parties and raves line the inner circle and when the night falls the man is lit up, fire installations and neon glo-sticks dart across the landscape. Naked energy The real extreme is the level of costume and colour. Whoops and cheers float for days on end; you are probably guaranteed never to see so much energy in your entire life. The same goes for nudity. You won’t get a line-up of music acts; this festival is (for most) about utopian living for one week. Culminating in the burning of the man, burners circle the pyre to bask in the glow of redemption and paganist cleansing. The new year has begun and Burning Man comes to a close. Don’t be a tourist Tickets for this year’s festival are steep at $320, but if you are organised you can write an application for a cheaper ticket earlier in the year. My advice is to dress up, get involved and be nice to everyone you meet. If you don’t you may come off as a ‘tourist’. Ideally for your first year you can hook up with a group of experienced burners to show you the ropes. You won’t need to shower with that much dust, but if you feel like a clean, water trucks spout water every morning. You just have to chase it. Come prepared, because you can’t use money at the festival.


the other side

02-04 september / NORTH DORSET

End of the Road by nathan may

What’s on One of the final few festivals on the calendar, End of the Road doesn’t need to rely on that fact to entice revelers desperate to prolong the summer or sneak one last sweaty shag in a Vango Spirit200. The line-up is really very good, with Beirut, Mogwai, Joanna Newsom, Midlake and Wild Beasts all making an appearance this year. How much? For the full three days – that’s Friday, Saturday and Sunday – an adult camping ticket costs £145. How to get there Using public transport, you can take a train to Salisbury from Waterloo. There will be shuttle buses running from the station to the festival site on Thursday, Friday and Monday. If you are driving, it will be a good idea to check the website for details, because following a Sat Nav will get you very lost apparently. Pros Great festival atmosphere that is down to the fact it is a well-organised affair. Beautiful setting in the Larmer Tree Gardens – watch out for the occasional Peacock waltzing past your tent. Last years highlight was the secret goings-on in the woods – Okkervil River treated a lucky few to half-an-hour of live music in among the trees. Cons Not many of those to be honest. Last year, The Horrors cancelled. It was a bit tricky getting to the main stage to see Fleet Foxes, and the Tipi tent was pretty small.


festivals 2011

02-04 September / derbyshire


ow celebrating its 23rd anniversary, and bringing you two events each year, Off the Tracks offers fantastic camping weekends in truly atmospheric surroundings. It’s fairly small, especially the May event, but that works in its favour – think mini-Glastonbury and you’re just about there. With two stages of live music, a dance barn, and a hugely expansive music policy that blends folk, world, roots, trance and fusion, there really is something for everyone.

Off the tracks

The line-up This year’s line-up boasts more than 30 artists and bands includes The Christians, Oysterband, Los Pacaminos feat. Paul Young, System 7 and also featuring a psy-trance night from Cabbage. Saturday nights are party nights, with the majority of campers opting for fancy dress and face paints. The bar offers more than 40 real ales and ciders and a traditional hog roast means the festival is a family friendly knees up with the emphasis firmly on atmosphere, good food, and comfort, including hot showers. Last year’s festival was all about soaking up the sun in stunning surroundings, getting stuck into the acoustic sessions and quite simply blissing out to the start of summer. Tickets are £65 per adult including camping and then it’s £32 per child (aged 12 to 16) including camping. Camping this year includes a ‘glamping’ option of a deluxe pre-erected tent away from the hustle and bustle of the main campsite. Campervans and Caravans are also welcome. How to get there Donington Park Farmhouse, Castle Donington. From the M1 (South) Leave the M1 at junction 23a, following signs for Nottingham East Midlands Airport (A453) and brown tourist signs for Donington Park. Go past the main entrance to the airport and on the A453 at Isley Walton take the Melbourne turning. Donington Park Farmhouse is half-a-mile down the road next the competitors entrance to Words: Cat Lee Donington Park Circuit.


the other side

03 september / secret location

For a cheaper, tinier, shorter festival fling this summer, head east for In The Woods


evolving around just one night’s camping and an single day of music across two stages, it features plenty of camping space, a walk in the woods splattered with fairy lights and coloured lanterns and a whopping bonfire, not to mention the actual entertainment. Organised by The Laurel Collective, it’s really a private party for fans and friends of the band. But if you’ve never heard of them, it’s not really a problem as they’re so modest, they usually invite (slightly more famous) friends to headline the event. What you will need though, is a personal invite, which can be procured by adding yourself to a mailing list a few months before the September hoedown. Deep in the Kent countryside (the address will be revealed to you shortly before the event), the campsite is a field, cleared of cows and with plenty of space to remove yourself from the vicinity of the portaloos. Between you and them is a monster bonfire and entry into the “arena” is via a narrow woody path. The vibe is part East London hipster, mixed with a healthy dash of hippy and flower power. Braided hair is encouraged but optional. As there’s only around 300 people wandering the forest floor, it’s easy to keep track of your friends and as everyone feels part of this secret festival club, and

is most likely to be at least quite drunk, they’re a friendly bunch. The acoustic stage takes on anyone you may have seen on London’s Boogaloo/Slaughtered Lamb circuit and varies between beautiful harps and violins to ill-advised cowboy folk. On the main stage are better known bands as well as the Laurel Collective, who always put on an energetic show for the home crowd. The main stage sits in a valley, so a guaranteed view can be had from the sides or you can get down and dirty in the front row for a bit of mosh action. Last year we were treated to a DJ set by Late of the Pier and Micachu DJ had the crowd bouncing. Food isn’t high on the agenda but there is a BBQ during the evening and a hog roast – which you’ll notice hotting up from the early evening – kicks in around midnight. The organisers are very relaxed about booze and your own food, and you can wander in and out of the stage area with whatever you fancy drinking in whatever container you’d like. Throughout the night, the majority of revelers make the most of the isolated location and bonfire and tents are generally there for show. And for the morning after, there is bacon. Chilled, cheap, close to London and a great intro to new bands and old faves, this is an unsung Words: Kimberley Smith gem.


festivals 2011


food stuffs Taste of London June 16-19, Regents Park

get on down to Jimmy’s farm in Suffolk. In the countryside the food tastes way better. This is the full blown festival experience, so This is the big one. If you are in you get your music, camping and the capital you know that there Tickets prices vary from the food all in one place. is a smörgåsbord of outstanding standard no frills £22 entry, to Trust me, this grub is not going places to eat. It could take you the £95 Secret Garden pass which to be a takeaway container full a lifetime to make your way includes champagne, canapés, of mystery meat. Demos by the through every one of them, but entrance into the ‘Secret Garden’ likes of Francesco Mazzei, Nuno here you have the chance to at and £20 of crowns (currency of Mendes and the hottie Ravinder Bhogal will get your mouth least taste 40 of london’s top the festival). Tickets sold on the day will be a watering, ready for the array of restaurants. ‘Damn’ you might pop-up restaurants on site. Not say to yourself that is gonna cost few pounds more. enough? Well, you will also be a bomb, or how do I fit all this into my belly? Well the dishes For more information on the able to buy farm fresh products straight from the proverbial. will be served up as smaller event go to Also take a few masterclasses to portions. More space in the sharpen your cooking prowess. tummy and more wedge in the wallet for your dining pleasure. Tickets range from £36 for adult Not only will restaurants be Harvest at Jimmy’s all day tickets to £97.50 for the represented there, but around September 9-12, weekend with camping. To go 200 food and drink producers Suffolk all out you can rent one of their will be flinging their wares. letting you have a nibble, maybe london in the summer is blissful, luxury tents from £520. but sometimes the Big Smoke striking a deal. A whole slew of famous chefs can be a little too much. Garbage For more information visit: will be dazzling everybody with baking in the sun, shirts soaked their skills, live on stage. The in sweat choking you up on the latest news is that chef René tube home. Get some fresh air, Redzepi from Noma, voted the world’s number 1 restaurant and the food foraging king, will be turning up.


the other side

I am just cooking down a piece of pork. Thyme, oregano and some bay leaves will permeate the hog flavour. The liquid leftover can be used as a pork broth. one hour to go until the meat is tender and ready to serve up next to collared greens, corn on the cob, my constantly changing mac n’ cheese and a cold brew. Finishing off the Easter leftovers in style. As one holiday leads into another and the weather keeps kicking it up a notch, it is time to leave the melting chocolate eggs of spring and prepare ourselves for summer. The festival season is upon us and if the epicurious physcobabble was not a clue, here are a few culinary festivities to check out in-between bouts of headbanging or whatever else the musically moving kids get up to nowadays.

The Real Food Harvest Festival September 22-25, Southbank Centre, London

slicing a flank steak, then get your pork butt down here. What would a festival be without live music and drink stalls. This The harvest season is a combo will ensure you release backbreaking time of the year your pagan self into the swampy for food producers all over the air of london town. British Isles. They wash the mud from their hands while you More details of this free festival pull gum from your city worn can be found at: sneakers. They smell the plants come alive at night, you watch daylight turn to streetlight. At the Real Food Harvest Festival you will hopefully gain some London Restaurant Festival respect for the people that October 3-17 supply you with all the tasty treats that you nonchalantly fill As the weather drops a few your basket with. From the same degrees, there is no better time guys that put on the monthly to drop in on one of the many Real Food Market at the (600 plus last year) participating Southbank, comes a cornucopia restaurants in this popular of a festival full to the brim with festival. At these venues, special top tier chefs, producers and festival menus will be laid on other entertainment. All of them at reasonable prices. Pop-up there to engage you in autumnal eateries will also be dotted bliss. There will be workshops around the city, serving up grub to boot, so if you never knew to the general populace. the difference between hacking Fancy a heart warming jaunt at piece of meat and properly around the city? Then food tours


festivals 2011

entitled ‘Gourmet odysseys’ will see diners venture to a run of restaurants during the festival, experiencing a certain type of cuisine. This is a two week ordeal, so pace yourselves. You may have a hit-list of places you want to eat at this year, without a doubt many will be participating in this event. You probably have a ‘maybe’ list of eateries too, now is your chance to tie up those loose ends. To start the ball rolling sign up to their newsletter here:

by greg nay

Should we be eating at your place? Email us and tell us what makes your eatery special. We’ll come and get our sticky mitts round your food and let our readers know what we think. Email:




With captivating prints of tropical and exotic fruits, bright colour clashes and neon bling... you may need some sunglasses to help protect your eyes this summer. Snapping some stylish folk in the park we found a tantalising mix... from nude and pastel shades to the bold and brash, we discovered maxis, minis, jumpsuits and accessories galore.

Above: Dani, works in Beyond Retro. All vintage Right: Rosie, 29, marketing Skirt, Pretaportobello Below: Neil, musician Grandads wifebeater tee Top: Georgio, experimental musician. Shirt from camden market. Sofia, hair sylist. Vintage bag and head scarf, American Apparel skirt. Above: Alberto, Milan fashion design student. Vintage hat, Milan. Antonio, Milan fashion design student shoes, Burberry 2011 collection


the other side

Right: Daisy, vintage seller Fruit print jump suit from an online vintage shop Below: Holly, 25, designer Skirt, American Apparel Left: Jo, styling assistant Shoes, Marni Shorts, China town in Sydney, Australia

Left: Ruby, CandiceJoelle, Angharad, Ruth & Harriet A mix of Primark mens tees, jumble sales and vintage attire. Photography by Tinker Taylor {lara.taylor1@}


festivals 2011


Brooklyn a New York folly

When Brooklyn became a borough of New York in 1898, it was considered a great mistake. But how wrong they were. Brenna Duncan went to see what all the fuss was about


ow one of New York’s most popular boroughs and with more than 2.5 million people living there, Brooklyn has become a legitimate rival to Manhattan. Tree-lined avenues, brownstone houses, old warehouses, quirky cafes, graffiti, vintage shops, trendy restaurants, delicious food, underground bars, incredible views of Manhattan… we almost didn’t come back to london. Here’s a pick of the top Brooklyn spots we found on our trip across the pond...

BRookLYN BRidge

Truly an icon of the city. It is the ‘Hollywood star’ of tourist attractions. Don’t miss the chance to walk across it, or at least half way if you’re feeling lazy, to view the NYC skyline in all its glory.

BRookLYN heighTs pRoMeNade

You can see Brooklyn Bridge, the Empire State Building and the Statue of liberty from this stretch of promenade. This was our favourite place to watch the world go by. Photographers, artists and couples aplenty all seem to flock here, and with a view of lower Manhattan like that, who could blame them?


An acronym for ‘Down Under Manhattan Bridge overpass’, this was once a manufacturing area rife with warehouses and factories. Now home to many artists, DUMBo is brimming with little shops, art galleries, loft apartments and trendy bars. Still a little gritty in parts – in a good way – rapid gentrification of the area means it’s bound to be different by the time this goes to print.


the other side


A neighbourhood full of the young and hip, Williamsburg rivals Manhattan’s lower East Side as the place to go for eating and drinking. once an industrial area, the neighbourhood now has a big art, fashion and music scene, with an array of galleries, bars, restaurants, cafes and boutiques to keep you busy. It’s a vintage clothes shopping heaven. Here are our favourite bits of Williamsburg: Vintage shops Beacon’s Closet at 88 North 11th Street is a huge warehouse with great pre-worn stock at affordable prices. Urban Jungle at 118 Knickerbocker Street (great name for a street right?) is another gigantic and affordable vintage shop with prices even lower than Beacon’s Closet. »

Photograph by Brenna Duncan

festivals 2011



Cafés and bars Ella Café at 117 Bedford Ave provides a range of organic food, juices and smoothies. Make sure you devour the pancakes with maple syrup. Blackbird Parlour at 197 Bedford Avenue is cosy and perfect for soaking up the atmosphere at the bar while sipping on a coffee or indulging in some wine. Restaurants Marlow & Sons at 81 Broadway is a cafe by day and restaurant by night. With a seasonal menu

of Mediterranean and American cuisine, the food, all locally sourced from New York state/ Hudson Valley, was delicious (we had the steak) and it’s good value. The cocktails and the candlelit wood interior are a joy.

of time to go back for dinner. Rumour has it the truffle fries, oysters and unique burger with beetroot and egg are all a must.

Bars Union Pool at 484 Union Ave shouldn’t be missed. one of Five Leaves at 18 Bedford Ave the best spots for dancing and (on the border of Williamsburg doubles up as a music venue. and Greenpoint) with its rustic Cheap drinks, a friendly vibe and somewhat nautical interior, and there is even a fire pit outside first made it on the map when to sit around and eat tacos or Heath ledger announced he grilled corn from the taco truck was opening it. The smoked run by Greg in the back yard. salmon open sandwich with chive cream cheese for brunch Hotel Delmano at 82 Berry St was delicious, but we ran out will make you feel more like you


the other side

are in a Parisian cocktail bar, with its beautiful vintage décor and bespoke cocktails. We’d recommend the Corpse Reviver No. 2 cocktail, which certainly woke us up.

craft vendors… the market is outdoors in the summer and inside the spectacular one Hanson Place during winter.

CoNeY isLaNd

once the largest amusement area in the US between 1880 and WWII, Coney Island is home to famous rides including the Cyclone Roller Coaster and the Wonder Wheel. like stepping Restaurant No.7 at 7 Greene Ave nr Fulton back in time, this seaside resort With block after block of St, is an American bistro had a cold, deserted and eerie historic brownstone houses, serving imaginative food with feel when we visited out of leafy Fort Greene is perfect for Eastern European, Korean and season. However, with major a stroll at the weekend. It has Southeast Asian influences. regeneration happening, its cafés, bars and antique shops in Set in a cosy space, there are popularity is on the rise. abundance, it’s also home to the five daily appetisers & entrees biggest flea market in the whole meaning you don’t have to spend of NYC. Independent designers hours choosing. Whatever you Photography by can be found among gourmet do decide, don’t miss the soft- Alexandra Marvar food stalls, vintage clothes and boiled, then fried egg appetiser.

foRT gReeNe


festivals 2011

short story


beans by adam richmond


the other side


t was a mistake giving her my kidney. When she had my heart already. The kidney just confused things. The gift of a heart makes sense, clearly. A sticky red emoticon’d heart – remedial in its simplicity – tagged at the end of emails. Feeling boiled down to an essential. Foisted and crammed into that anaemic logo. And yet it always said enough. Said the right things. Even if they were but a dull reminder that I was hers’. That she was mine.

So I silently fume: where’s the reciprocity? That kidney is quite a big card to play though – I can’t waste it on trivialities like the washing up, or her nagging me about going out to the pub… in fact, it’s a card that can never be played. Meanwhile, she can sense me holding my giant metaphorical kidney over her head, the ever-present threat that I could throw the bloody mess in her stupid face. If he was going to be such a worthy prick about it and rub my nose in it all day long, I wouldn’t have taken his sodding kidney in the first place.

Just that. Just us. Me, her, and a ball of sinew and clotted lust. My heart. My symbolic heart. Clutched in her warm hands. Dripping.

Resentment bristles between us, a simmering hatred, to remain unrequited and unexpressed. She can’t give me the elbow – I gave her my fucking kidney. And I’ll be damned if I let her off the hook that easy. I’ve still got a lifetime’s supply of smug selfsatisfaction to impress at dinner parties and keep me warm at night.

Once she had that, she thought she could have all of me. Like it meant everything. Like she had everything. That easy contentment of just the right words and just the right illusion. Even when I lied, even when I didn’t mean the things I said – that slab of meat, my beating heart, could never be caught out. Its I-love-you immediacy filling in the blanks, blurring out the concerns.

Surely she’ll stumble, go that step too far so I can finally scream at her: “I gave you my fucking kidney you fucking whore. Show me some fucking gratitude.” But she’ll never give me, small-minded prick that I am, the satisfaction; she’d become a nun first.

What’s a kidney in comparison? You can’t fill that with anything but bile. It hides nothing. It conveys nothing.

Which leaves us here. With X-Factor shimmering on the TV screen, dirty washing up piled high. Where every gesture, every word, every call, every glance, every passing comment, every ‘between you and me’, every ‘you go to that party, they’re your friends anyway’, every humming silence and fading goodbye, every thing, everything has taken on a meaning. A meaning that has poisoned and wilted and killed all in sight.

Now love… love really is a many-splendored thing. Until you start losing body parts. Until you really start giving yourself away. Saving her life, letting rubber-gloved men in white tear out a piece of me to put into her. A part of me, inside her, surely it would it make us even closer. It was a no-brainer really. But the glow of my selfless act dulled… She has a glass of wine…She has a glass of wine and sits on her ever-fattening arse in the lounge, and me, Jonny One Kidney, is doing the washing up. Why am I doing the washing up? I gave her my kidney. The least she can do is wash up.

Gesture conveyed and imparted with a nod and wink. Meaning stuck malevolently to the undercarriage of these things deployed. A concealed message, glancing blow, or veiled attack. All things something else. So here we sit, staring each other down, waiting for the other to crack. Yes, the kidney really unbalanced things. Next time I’ll just get her a diamond fucking ring.


festivals 2011


RICK EDWARDS [Him off of T4]

Kentish Town livin’ T4 guru Rick Edwards tweeted with us about The Heath, Bluestones & Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus What do you love?

Do you call it Kenny Town? If not, why not?

Bowling. Snooker. Football. My goddaughter. Crisps. Sums. My girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order.

No I do not. I call it K Town, as all good K Town residents should. Kenny Town? Really? Not for me.

Where do you take your missus for a treat?

Bluestons on Kentish High Street... Town Money Laundering front or perhaps just a place for ladies blouses?

Manna in Primrose Hill. She’s one of these ‘vegetarians’ you hear so much about. What’s your favourite place in London? It’s impossible to call between Rowans in Finsbury Park, and the Heath. Both brilliant, both threatening in their own ways.

Go to the Pineapple?

How do you get to work?

Of course I do. I live very nearby. I’ll have a pint of Staropramen please.

It depends. Sometimes my employers will get me a taxi. Otherwise, weather-permitting, I’ll cycle. If it rains, the tube.

What do you think of the rebranded HMV Forum? Soulless or just clean fun?

What fictional character would you be and why? Marty McFly. Surely everyone says that? Have you ever said “Do you know who i am?” No, but it’s on my ‘To Do’ list. What’s your ideal dinner party line up? Nigella (can cook/make out with food items), Larry David, Dave Eggers, Grace Dent, my dad. And what music would you play at it? Eels. TV On The Radio. Beck.

I think it’s a lovely venue. It’s not really changed much in the eight or nine years I’ve been going there. Do you know what happens at Rio’s tropical paradise? I think I do, although I’ve never sampled its delights personally. It’s a ‘naturist gym’, right? So lots of nakedness and sweating. What’s the best for grub in kenny town?

Don’t be cynical. It’s purely a ladies’ blouse emporium. I’ve had my eye on the red and white polka dot dress in the window for years. Who do you follow on twitter? Apparently I follow 469 people. I’m not going to list them all. My favourites are @timkeyperson, @lloydwoolf and @gracedent. Mega shark octopus?



Tough choice. I think the shark just shades it for me. According to Wikipedia you have no sense of smell... is this true? Yes, it is true. Could be worse. Would you rather wee out your nose or poo out of your ear?

I’d obviously wee out of my nose. I love The Wine Cellar for Anyone who says they’d shit out sandwiches, Tolli for lunch, of their ear is mental. Kentish Canteen for dinner, Mamma Mia for breakfast. Tweet us @theothersidemag


the other side


Edition Launch




ON THE ROOFTOP @ the Queen of Hoxton FREE ENTRY 6.30pm

1- Curtain Road London EC2A 3JX



1st - 3rd July

Funeral For A Friend

The Animals & Friends , from The Jam

Hi-on Maiden, Sonic Boom Six, Dr. 8Ball [Reunion gig], Six Hour Sundown, Spy Catcher, Badness, Lower  Than  Atlantis, Jettblack, Moses Melkonian & Ghost of the Gully, Charlie  Costello, Izzy Stone • Supported by: The Indegenerates, Tinlin, Coastal Cities, Hugo William, Xuuki, The Barker Band, The Drop, Grindhouse, Mike Bryant … and many more. Inverted Audio Bass Arena: Sigha, Blawan, Icicle, Mensah, Shifted, Antepop, wAgAwAgA, Fidelity Visuals: Elektropastete

4 Stages, 3 Days, 1 Festival

£12 - £45

A music festival celebrating homegrown talent in the heart of Buckinghamshire.

Buy tickets online at

sponsored by

Location: Kennel Farm, Little Missenden, Amersham, Buckinghamshire HP7 0RJ

The Other Side Festival Guide 2011  

An in depth look at some of the smaller festivals on the circuit and some of our favourites. Plus all the usual tos stuff including speed da...

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