Thursday 29 November
The magazine for the Northern Line! classic covers issue 001.
Letter from the Editor. Count yourself lucky Londoners. It’s not something we do that often, is it? We get up, we go to work, we go home, we get up blah blah blah...and amongst all that getting up, going to work and doing all the blahing we get to spend time in the best city in the world...and most of us....for the most part at least don’t realise this...So I’m a counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 how lucky will I be today? Well later on this week I’m off to the ICA to see some art and a big light show, maybe I’ll go out to eat beforehand in one of our top-notch restaurants 7 (there’s lady luck now) 8...this weekend sees some of the best parties of the year...Friendly Fires playing at the Bloomsbury Ballrooms followed by a hop skip and a jump to Turnmills for Modular where there is a huge amount of bands, djs and live acts ready to tear up our ears...37...yeah I’m still counting myself lucky... next Saturday (the 8th) sees adventures from the Beetroot Field at SeOne near London Bridge... that’s the youngsters sorted...Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Wizard is taking up Shakespeare at Drury Lane Theatre....Ice rinks...139...that’s enough…for today… at least. Inside this week we find ourselves in Paris (you can get there in 2hrs20 from Kings Cross did you know), drawing pictures, writing poetry and listening to various rants. It’s all good and it’s all packed into this weeks Other Side. It’s gonna be three weeks until the next issue. We are working on a bumper New Years / Christmas special. If you’ve got an event going on and you think it’s worthy of the Other Side then do let us know about it! ed.x
Contents Some stuff
Buy my DVD
Music and that
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Handed out by Pretty Boys
LONDON CALLING People better watch out what they say about London, especially if they don’t live here no more... Adam Richmond gets all high and mighty I’m sure you’ve read about the underground announcer who scarpered out of London and then had the temerity to slag us all off. Oooh, the tube is a nightmare, what comic gold you’ve struck upon. I suppose as selfappointed commentator on all things London you think it’s okay. Well it’s not. You don’t live here anymore sweetheart you don’t get to take the piss. You’ve gotta live in this beautiful city if you wanna chime in with witty bon mots such as “Would the passenger in the pinstripe suit and £1,000 glasses who obviously works in the media please take one step forward on to the track.” or “Would passengers filling in their Su Dokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not more impressive because they contain numbers.” Just cos she’s too stupid to fill in a Sudoku don’t take it out on everyone else. And just cos she don’t earn as much money as some there’s no need to lash out in such an unseemly fashion. Where’s you’re humanity sweetheart? More importantly, where are the bloody funny jokes?
Just cos she aint got the balls to live in London don’t mean she can get on her high horse and start slagging it off. Aren’t we Londoners human? If you cut us do we not bleed? Of course, the joke’s on her. She lost her lucrative voiceover job. Ha. Take that. She now claims her ‘jokes’ were taken out of context. Well boo-hoo. I’ve got a little announcement for you Emma Clarke. Keep your grubby little opinions to yourself. You want to take the piss out of London, you gotta earn it my friend. You gotta sweat it out day in, day out and not bottle it out to the middle of nowhere (the country!) to wile away the rest of your boring lifeless existence talking about where it’s nice to go for a walk and what new cakes are on at the tea shop. Next time you wanna have a pop, make sure you’ve got a topped up Oyster card and copy of the London Lite on you or you’ll be had for high treason.
FOPP’S BACK! Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! Some quality-conscious bureaucrat did decide to keep this great independent chain alive! Fopp is a cultural heaven for anyone in their right mind: obscure but worthy book titles, wide range of interesting music (jazz to folk, soul to rock, punk to pop), and amazing arthouse and cult DVD selection. Prices range from £ 3 to £ 15. If you haven’t been yet, “you know nothing!”
To top off her not-so-funny spoof announcements she adds “Residents of London are reminded that there are other places in Britain outside your stinking city, and if you remove your heads from your backsides for just a couple of minutes, you may realise the M25 is not the edge of the Earth.”
Stinking? Backsides? M25?
by Solange Moffi
HOT MILK by cardorowski
Truth for some is but a feeling. Ever changing, blowing hot and cold. The naughty teddy swapped for thirty pieces at the senti-mental cashbar. A short, sharp stick to prod and jab, cut and twist. A silent, deadly pistol in the mist. Truth.
Some who know no truth at all, would rail at those who stand, standing themselves on-pointe and off balance, yet proud and loud. And brave too. For tawdry banners proclaiming THIS TRUTH are two-a-penny and thrice as hollow. And those who, in pursuit of knowledge, would seek to grasp at truth and own it. For eclosion, elevation, economics. Yet more who claiming truth, would make it perfect by whittling, with increasingly intricate blades,
D LT until it most resembles them. Whereupon The New Truth is discarded for itâ€™s now false face.
Those seeking truth in stars and cards, numbers, Hieroglyphs and throwing bones and stones and wizened crones, will charge for telling. And some who, finding truth to be slippery slivers of soap hidden in milky, steaming tubs, would stand in showers fully clothed, brolly furled and wet, waiting to be cleaned.
And truth is breath; inspiring, conspiring, expiring. So breathe again, to fill the lungs, make fit the blood to swim the head and spread the wing, stir the soul and carry song. And truth is light, neither heavy nor dark though sometimes meaty often shrouded. Hard to bear and hard to find. For we have appetites and blind spots, weaknesses and wounds that change with age. And Truth will wait. Mercifully.
But few who, sliding naked, with bruised and cracking skin beneath hot milk, with unclosed senses and with hands wide open, wait. Knowing that if the sliver will not come to rest, yet the milk will penetrate, cleaning pores, healing sores stilling the mind for the next wars. And all of these we will be many times, in any order. For truth is Motherâ€™s Milk; full fat and freely given.
Illustration by Jamie Jackson
Night At The Museum -
night at the museum original cover by me
Excerpts from the commentary by Ricky “Funny Dance” Gervais 01:12: (Rustling paper) Hello. I’m contractually obliged to tell you that my name is Ricky Gervais and this is the DVD commentary for Night at the Museum, starring me. And Ben Stiller in a role, that while has more screen time, is actually not as important as mine. Sure he was on the poster. As was that bone dinosaur thing. Not that I was upstaged by a computer generated effect.You’re ‘avin a laugh aintcha! (See, I’ve still got it) 05:47 - I’m not in this bit yet, can we wind it on? 10:16 - I’m still not on here, so this is pretty much dead space. Maybe you want to put The Office on in the background. If you’ve got two dvd players. Maybe you could use your computer. You should have a computer really. Even if it’s in another room. I know it’s a hassle to turn it on and find the dvd and put it in and switch the speakers on, but it’ll make all this non-Ricky Gervais related stuff that much easier to swallow. If you’re seriously telling me that you don’t have a computer that plays dvds then what about flicking through my book Flanimals. That flew off the shelves. It must be in every toilet in the land so don’t lie to me and tell me you haven’t got a copy. Even if it was an unwanted afterthought of a present you got from your aunt... which it wasn’t, and we both know it. So just go and get it yeh? Take your mind off all this boring shit with Ben Stiller and his stupid son. It’s not like anyone’s done a funny dance yet or anything is it? 20:19 - I think my bit’s coming up. All this stuff here is just more boring character stuff, making sure you don’t question why Ben Stiller would carry on working at a museum
that came to life at night. I mean, it’s all a bit stupid isn’t it? Why doesn’t he just get a job at Starbucks. Sure, the film would be a lot shorter, but then wouldn’t that be a blessing? 45:44 - In a lot of ways Ben lied to me about the whole film. I said to him on set, how is this the same as the original idea you pitched me about of two ghostbusting detectives who travel through time and accidentally kill Hitler? He said I didn’t understand Hollywood and it would still be, in essence, a buddy movie and maybe I’d be more comfortable in my trailer thinking up offensive jokes and drawing stupid pictures of made up animals to make more money. 60:14 - Despite everything I’ve said, I have always loved the work of Ben Stiller, even if he does have big ears and a stupid face. The way he shouts for comic effect was a real revelation for me. I’d always used the comic crutch of pausing or trailing of at the end of a, er... hmm? Or touching my tie and mugging at the camera. Ben takes it up a notch though. Here for example he’s got to deal with a miniature army AND a mischievous monkey. We sure had fun on the set that day. Even though I wasn’t in the scene. Or any of them really...
BRITBUS GOES GLOBAL IN 2008 FIRST STOP..yep.. UNITED KINGDOM So what’s going on? Harnessing promising musicians and offering them a management contract, ongoing support and a pot of £100,000K of initial investment, live tours, festival appearances and a potential record deal. Woah there....If you’re in a band and fancy getting involved then you’ve got until 1st December where the first round of entries will be put out to a unique opinion panel of students and industry experts. These results will then be sent to an internal A&R panel for consideration before a final shortlist is drawn up The live stages will launch in early 2008 with regional gigs across the UK. The chosen acts will set off in the BritBus on a UK tour before being whisked off on a whistle stop tour of the US, Australia, Japan or China for an unforgettable tour; returning to the UK to play a string of high profile festivals. So what are you waiting for sign up today. www.myspace.com/thebritbus
Tom Brosseau + Guests
The Local is proud to present Tom Brosseau, Mary Hampton & Beth Jeans Houghton, Brosseau has one of the most arresting voices in folk music, a high-pitched, angelic croon devoid of affectation and delivered with utter sincerity. He sings with such pastoral calm, in fact, that nuanced emotional details can become lost within the beautiful simplicity of his sparse acoustic tunes. 5 Dec / the Luminaire, £10 in advance x for the green line
You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat film quiz, The last quiz of the year from the most fiendish geeky fanboy film quiz around, featuring a couple of Christmas-themed rounds, but will otherwise be a review of all the films that have been released since the end-of-2006 quiz... Go on, dare you take on some of the finest film minds in London? Weds 5th Dec Archway Road
Highgate Brent Cross
Chalk Hampstead Farm
Angel Warren Street
Moorgate Tottenham Court Road Goodge Street
Be @ Bloomsbury
BE and Adventures close to Home present a night of decadent music and debauched fun with music from Mystery Jets, Friendly Fires, Holy Hail and stricken city at the Bloomsbury Ballrooms. Find a ticket and we'll see you there! Sat 1st Dec 8pm – 3am
ss o Mi Not t
An unsettling, beautiful sound performance created for the IC Poulet use ambisonic techniqu inhabit the very fabric of the b to rethink their ideas of perspe audience are free to wander a that moves from the familiar t illusion, provoking a feeling of £8.50 30 Nov, 8pm
The best things going on in and around the Northern line both sides of the River
Once we make it out of BE the only place we are headed is to Modular at Turnmills. Sets from MSTRKRFT, Spank Rock's Devlin & Darko & XXXChange.Add to that from France Busy P aka Pedro Winter aka EdBanger boss and Daft Punk manager. There's more the cast of the brilliant Mighty Boosh, the ace Counte of Monte Cristal & Sinden as well as the hosts of the best club in West London, Yo Yo. There will probably be more, but I'm tired just thinking of all that! £15 9pm – 5am - clerkenwell road
7 Stops Pub of the Week
Bar Kick – Shoreditch High Street I recently rediscovered my love for Bar Kick and what was supposed to be a quick game of fusball turned into a full on session. Games are 75p and you can accompany them with Mediteraenean tapas, plenty of Brahma beer and a whole bunch of cocktails. You might even find a copy of the Other Side there!
d installation incorporating a live CA. Alex Bradley and Charles ues - immersive sound - to building, inviting the audience ective, light and depth. The around Whiteplane2, a space to the unfamiliar through sonic f subtle dislocation.
Hyde Park's going all Christmassy, Lapland style. There's a 1400 sq metre ice rink (that's big!) and a toboggan slide, a German Christmas market, a carousel, helter skelter and other enjoyable family fun and if like me you don't like the ice then there will be plenty of space for you to sit and 'ave an ot choccy. Family pass £30 – from 1 Dec – 6 Jan
If you would like to advertise your event in 7 stops then please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
The Other Side’s Off Side Issue 006
By chief football correspondent Jan Vinegar of Hampstead
The England team’s reading material of choice on their summer holidays
Amateur no-hopers of international football are drawn to play Andorra
oddess Football has a strange sense of humour. Just 4 days after England found themselves passed into muddy oblivion by Slaven Bilic’s Barmy Army, their name is plucked by the fickle fingers of fate (OK, by the fingers of Abedi Pele) to once again face this “mighty” foe. As well as trips to Croatia and Barcelona (to play Andorra, a team even David Nugent scored against), the England players can have their fill of toy planes and decks of British Airways playing cards as they rack up the air miles with tricky trips to the Ukraine (here’s hoping Shevchenko keeps up his form for Chelski) and Belarus (here’s hoping Hleb doesn’t keep up his for Arsenal). The only person who’s genuinely happy with the draw is Sacha Baron Cohen, who’ll be able to put a nice little piece away for baby Olive’s Bat Chayil as he wheels out Borat for the umpteenth time when England face Kazhakstan. Steve Mclaren turned out to be better at advertising Rihanna songs than managing a national team and it’s going to take more than a cup of tea
and an umbrella to sort this mob out. Brian Barwick (the inspiration for “I am the Walrus”, allegedly) would do well to listen to Arsene Wenger, who points to the fact that France went from missing out on USA 94 to world champions in 4 years. Part of that bunch of Gallic failures were Blanc, Desailly, Petit and Deschamps, all of whom were pilloried by the press and fans…so the French FA must have done SOMETHING right. We can only hope that serious questions are being asked in the corridors of Soho Square (as opposed to those asked under the previous manager such as “Who thinks it would be funny to play Lescott at left back?”, “Has the rain stopped yet?” and “One lump or two?”).
Fergie throws a wobbly
They (whoever they are) say that to be a real winner you have to be a bad loser. Fergie, then, is a REAL winner. Whilst Le Grand Sulk was busy standing in the shop window screaming “Buy me!” as he disposed of United, Fergie’s face grew even more red (if that’s possible) as he was sent to the stand at half time. When asked why he’d shouted so vociferously at the referee, Fergie replied, “Look, it was a wet afternoon and Mark looked a bit damp – I thought I’d do him a favour by turning the hairdryer on him”. Ahhh, he’s got a heart of gold really…
Despite the rather magnificent achievement of dragging a team out of the frighteningly competitive maelstrom that is the Fizzy Pop league, the door marked “Billy Davies - Manager” at Hubris Park now needs a new paint job. Admittedly, Derby have been re-writing the Wikipedia definition of “whipping boys” this season and seem to have ensured that the relegation fight is for two places only. Davies and his team, though, were years ahead of where they had planned to be, so for their board to have succumbed to such a knee-jerk reaction seems ridiculous. Staying in the Credit Card league was always going to be a challenge, but surely Davies deserved a bit of time? A team like Watford looked down last year before the stuffing hit the turkey, but Aidy Boothroyd was given time to rebuild and make the most of their parachute payments and now the Hornets are top of the league. Boothroyd is the longest serving Championship manager and he’s not even been there 3 years…that should tell you everything you need to know.
Cut-and-paste Wenger post-match interview – now you too can talk like Arsene!
At OSOS, we’ve noticed that Arsene Wenger’s victorious post match press conferences often feature certain standard comments and phrases. With that in mind, here’s a “delete as applicable” press conference – wow your friends as you speak like a successful football manager, but don’t forget the dodgy French accent… Well, I am not surprised by this team. They have an unbelievable/incredible/amazing spirit/belief/commitment. There is a fantastic/superb/unbelievable spirit/belief/ mental strength in the squad and they always fight until the very end/look to kill off the opposition early. <Insert opposition here> are a difficult team to break down and they always defend and focus on every ball. We always knew the goal would come,/Once the early goal went in we were comfortable, and once again you see the fantastic/ incredible/amazing spirit/belief/togetherness of this squad/ team/group. Yes they are young, but you see from game to game that they grow stronger/tougher/mentally/more mature/more experienced. We have a difficult <insert month here> coming but I believe that our passion/ability/ strength/belief/spirit will get us through and I enjoy the challenge. No, I did not see the incident…”
FILM , and.some comedy
If you don’t know the (proper) story of Beowulf don’t go to this film expecting a faithful adaptation of the source material. Go expecting a medieval sweeping epic with monsters and kings and heroes you won’t be disappointed. Improving upon the performance capture technique used for The Polar ‘dead eye’ Express, Beowulf is a serious jump forward for this kind of animation. The film captures the essence of each actor, but manipulates them to create fully formed characters that no amount of make-up could ever achieve. Turning Ray Winstone into a Nordic god, blond, chiselled and six-packed, is quite a feat, and Winstone’s gruff manly burr serves the character well.
Stewart Lee, 41st Best Stand Up Ever!, Soho Theatre, 4th-23rd Dec ‘07 Stewart Lee is an awkward bugger. A smart, awkward, iconoclast of a bugger. A funny bugger too. When he starts his latest stand up show his dry as a bone delivery holds draws your into his world where you slowly find yourself angry at the same things that enrage him - the suffocating void that is television, the state of comedy, why his mum values Tom O’ Connor over him, why he’s not on telly anymore...
For Lee stand up comedy is not about telling gags, it’s about shocking people out of their complacency, and while that may not sound like a barrel of laughs, anyone who misses the edgy, socially The story goes that King Hrothgar’s (Anthony aware and down right funny comedy Hopkins) kingdom is plagued by Grendel of Bill Hicks (like I do), the fact that (Crispin Glover), a slimy, revolting, vicious Stewart Lee is still around tirelessly monster who eats men’s heads and tears plying his trade to similar effect is a bodies apart. No one is able to kill the beast, small joy. As anyone who’s seen Jerry so the famed monster-slayer Beowulf arrives Springer:The Opera (which Lee coto rid the kingdom of this curse. He vanquishes wrote and directed) they’ll know that Grendel and then finds Grendel’s mother Lee can sneak smart satire in among (Angelina Jolie) is after some serious revenge. his comedy seamlessly and that going You will need to get beyond some too far is almost a standard. Recounting unintentionally hilarious moments. When Ray one joke over and over again Lee Winstone resists arrives in King Hrothgar’s highlights why, through sheer dogged kingdom, he says, in a thick cockney accent, “I persistence, he is a master of his craft, will kiwll your mons-tah”, it’s hard not to chuckle. testing the audience’s patience, staring them down and building a daring comic At the Imax though, this really is a must set that is satisfying, thought provoking see experience. The blood and guts (and a and like nothing else you will see practically naked Angelina Jolie) is no small anywhere else. 5/5 incentive to see this in glorious 3-D. There really is nothing else like it. Despite being a little too long, the animation is superb and the action Get the also brilliant and even more controversial 90s Comedian from www. gripping. Katy Carter
gofasterstripe.com for a mere £10
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we think..... it sounds great. looks great. feels great. store up to 500 songs on this sweet mp3 player. weighs less than a mini size mars bar. 10 hours battery life. what more do you want for the journey to work? Get it for £17.99
An Other Side Guide to ......
Un billet pour la jour sil vous plait This should get you the equivalent of a travelcard and comes in at 5E 60
Museum Pass Gives you access to Paris’ main museums and attractions. It is also a queue jump and saves you loads of time. Don’t mistake it for the one the Metro stations sell. Top Brass. 30E for 2 days. Paris is split into 20 districts, known as arrondissements which are arranged in a clockwise spiral starting with the 1st on the north bank of the Seine and finishing at the top in Montmarte. (Contrary to what most Americans think Montmarte is not a pleasure. I suggest a trip up the steps late at night when the caricature artists have left and the bars charging 12 euros for a glass of wine have closed.)
A little tip Unless you really must don’t order a cab. Hail one from the street. They turn the meter on when they receive the call and by the time they arrive may have reached 8-10 Euros.
(tick em when you done em) Notre Dame Arc D’triomphe Champs Elysees The Louvre Eiffel Tower
Try this. Choquette – little hollow brioche balls covered with chunks of sugar. Perfect. Enjoy them from Boulangerie Kayser, Rue Monge 5th
Eat Here. If you want a truly authentic Parisian dining experience then look no further than Café du Commerce, Rue de Commerce 15th. Three floors of hustle and bustle hidden behind the façade of an oyster salesmen and a small dimly lit corridor. There’s a set menu for 28E. The starter of terraine of pork and rabbit served with soft prunes was outstanding and is a must.
Café Angelina, Rue de Rivoli 1st Housed in a rather touristy area over the road from the Louvre sits Café Angelina. Don’t be fooled by the queue, it moves pretty quickly and is well worth a five minute wait. Once you are in you will enjoy one of the most unbelievable hot chocolates possible. It’s almost like drinking a bar of Green & Blacks and er..comes with a bowl of thick whipped cream. It comes with (if you can handle it) cakes like you wouldn’t believe, we chomped our way through a macaroon packed with raspberries, jelly and yep, you guessed it...more cream.
The Palais de Tokyo, Place de Tokyo 16th On the west side of Paris next door to the Museum of Modern Art and just over the river from the Eiffel Tower is the Palais de Tokyo. Here you can check out what’s hot in Parisian art, enjoy a beverage and some food n the superbly designed bar and best of all shop for some brilliant Basquait inspired t-shirts, retro trainers and other bizarre bits and pieces.
Pompidou Centre, Rue Beaubourg 2nd A full on modern art excursion. If you like alligators on the wall and Yves Klein blue then this should be your first port of call. Sail up the escalators for a view over the city from the east and then relax with a drink on the terrace.
The Jewish/gay/trendy part of the city. Situated behind the Pompidou centre and full of bars, boutiques and little restaurants. There’s also a market and the whole place comes to life on a Sunday and in the evenings. If you can tear yourself away from the classics this is a must.
Eat Here – both in the 3rd L’as Fallafel (it’s their spelling) – Rue des Rossiers As authentic as a day-glo hoody in Hoxton. Once you’ve had your fair share of French cuisine, a falafel is the perfect antidote and features more salad than Fresh and Wild. Bar du Marche – Rue Vieille du Temple You need brunch here on Sunday. Eat as much as you like for 22E includes; coffee, juice, cold meats, fresh salads, scrambled egg, bacon, cake, fresh fruit, roast chicken, roast beef, cous cous, chocolate mouse..need I go on?
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