The Nerve Magazine - October 2006

Page 1


The Nerve October 2006 Page


TBDSBNFOU JO! TUPSFT! OPX

www.lambofgod.tv

and if you love Lamb of God, check out Canada’s own . . .

IN STORES NOW lamb_threat_unrestrained.indd 1

www.threatsignal.com

8/28/06 6:01:28 PM

Nerve October 2006 TheThe Nerve September 2006 Page Page


Canada’s original Subhumans are back, featuring Brian Goble, Mike Graham, Gerry Hannah and the legendary Jon Card on drums.

AVAILABLE NOW

10.13.06 Vancouver, B.C. - The Lamplighter 10.14.06 Victoria, B.C. - Logan’s 10.17.06 Winnipeg, MB - Royal Albert Arms 10.18.06 Thunder Bay, ON - Kilroy 10.20.06 London, ON - Call the Office 10.21.06 Toronto, ON - Lee’s Palace 10.22.06 Peterborugh, ON - The Trasheteria 10.25.06 Kingston, ON - TBA 10.26.06 Hamilton, ON - The Underground 10.27.06 Ottawa, ON - Maverick’s 10.28.06 Montréal, QC - Playhouse 11.01.06 Regina, SK - Distrikt 11.02.06 Innisfail, AB - The Zoo 11.03.06 Edmonton, AB - Velvet Underground 11.04.06 Calgary, AB - The Hi Fi Club

g7welcomingcommittee.com subhumans.ca

22 namedrops can’t be bad!!!

ON TOUR

Big Trouble in Little China Diamond Cutter

Available nationwide October 31st. Wake the fuck up world. 1 part Black Flag,1 part Turbonegro,1 part AC/DC. This is rock n roll, bold and confrontational. These former grindcore heroes shove the diary of the everyman right down your throat and make you wash it down with too many warm beers and an ashtray lick. Features members of Head Hits Concrete and Malefaction. 4-song 7” on hot pink vinyl still available. Recorded by Craig Boychuk (Propaghandi, Under Pressure, Greg MacPherson) and mastered at Golden Labs by JJ (Melvins, Sonic Youth, Ragin Slab)

KEN mode - Reprisal Efficient mammoth metallic noise rock from (where else) Winnipeg. Probably our heaviest since Kittens/Shallow ten years back. Severe audio treatment captured by Craig Boychuk (cbaudio.com) and mastered especially for vinyl by Nick Z (ISIS, Thurston Moore, Cave In). Double 180gm 12” coloured vinyl available only from No List. October tour with Daughters and Pelican will feature Jahmeel Russell (Kittens, Projektor) on bottom end.

Kilbourne Fashion Police Brutality A stellar 6-song follow up to their debut “Measure of Health”, this trio has grown and matured at their own pace, oblivious to trends and fashion. Think Thrice and AFI in a pissing contest with Iron Maiden (alas, Eddie always wins). Team Kilbourne are still perfecting the optimal balance of melodic crush-core and an all out noise assault that betrays their Calgarian heritage and double-XX gender assignment.

www. nolistrecords.com Distribution in Canada by Sonic Unyon

The Nerve October 2006 Page


CONTENTS

16 TEENAG E HEA

D

S

CONTENTS

17

19 DETROIT COBRA

GELS

CK AN HE BLA

T

Features

19 THE DETROIT COBRAS

Outta the garage and back on the road - Jen

nifer Charlesworth

17 THE BLACK ANGELS

26 SHACK S HAK

ERS

THE NERVE MAGAZINE 508 - 825 Granville St.,Vancouver, B.C.V6Z 1K9 604.734.1611 www.thenervemagazine.com info@thenervemagazine.com The Don (a/k/a Editor-In-Chief and Publisher) Bradley C. Damsgaard editor@thenervemagazine.com Wiseguy (a/k/a Music Editor) Adrian Mack mack@thenervemagazine.com Shotgun (a/k/a Film Editor) Michael Mann mann@thenervemagazine.com Map and Details (a/k/a Skate Shreditors) D-Rock and Miss Kim Launderer (a/k/a Book Editor) Devon Cody cody@thenervemagazine.com The Henchmen (a/k/a Design & Graphics) Dale De Ruiter, Kristy Sutor Weapons Cleaner (a/k/a Article Editor) Jon Azpiri Surveillance Team (a/k/a Photographers) Devon Cody, Dale De Ruiter, Miss Toby Marie

07 26 22 25 27 31 32 34 35

Sections

Cheap Shotz Live Album Reviews DVD Film Books Video Games Crossword Comics

The Muscle (a/k/a Staff Writers) AD MADGRAS, Jason Ainsworth, Cowboy TexAss, Chris Walter, Stephanie Heney, Adam Simpkins, Therese Lanz, Carl Spackler, David Bertrand, Phil Heidenreich, Herman Menervemanana, Ferdy Belland, Dave Von Bentley, Devon Cody, Dale De Ruiter, Derek Bolen, Ethyltron, Johnny Kroll, Andrew Molloy, Boy Howdy, Cameron Gordon, BRock Thiessen, Filmore Mescalito Holmes, Jenna James Plaster Caster (a/k/a Cover Design) Devon Cody Fire Insurance (a/k/a Advertising) Brad Damsgaard, Kristy Sutor advertise@thenervemagazine.com Marketing Manager (a/k/a The Suit) Kristy Sutor The Kid (a/k/a The Intern) INTERNSHIP AVAILABLE (email publisher above) Out-of-town Connections (a/k/a Distro & Street Team) Toronto: Rosina Tassone Montreal: Douglas Ko, Calgary: Mike Taylor Edmonton: Freecloud Records, Bob Prodor Winnipeg: Margo Voncook Whitehorse: Jordi and Jeremy Jones Victoria/Whistler: Jono Jak, Lindsay Seattle/Bellingham: Frank Yahr

What is it about Texans and the Apocalypse? - Devon Cody

16 TEENAGE HEAD

With a bunch of re-issues coming, we’re finally gonna get some Head - Cameron Gordon

15 LAMB OF GOD

Who let that punk in here?!? - Jenna James

22 COMEDY FESTIVAL

The Nerve dares you to make us laugh

- Kliph Nesteroff

20 The Matches 11 Aging Youth Gang 15 The Feminists 20 Gatsby’s American Dream 17 The Tyde 20 Upper Canadian Blues

The Nerve is published monthly by The Nerve Magazine Ltd. The opinions expressed by the writers and artists do not necessarily reflect those of The Nerve Magazine or its editors. The Nerve does not accept responsibility for content in advertisements. The Nerve reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or submission and accepts no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or artwork. All content © Copyright The Nerve Magazine 2006. Est. 1999

The Nerve October 2006 Page


C


CONTENTS

CHEAP SHOTS Vanity Fair Debunks Tom Cruise Truth Movement The surveillance pictures seen here were released by the Pentagon in May of 2006, in order to finally eliminate the questions surrounding the conception and birth of Tom Cruise’s alleged child Suri. According to sources at the Pentagon, these images show very clearly the path taken by Tom Cruise’s semen as it struck Ms. Holmes, demolishing the newly reinforced west wing of the mid-level former TV star, and killing over 100 people including many civilian accountants. Conspiracy Theorists are calling foul, however. They claim that the images show nothing of substance, and were

carefully chosen to further a suspicious strategy of disinformation designed to discredit anyone questioning the government’s official account of Ms. Holmes’ fertilization . According to some, the likely father of the child is actor Chris Klein, star of the movie American Pie. Others believe that Ms. Holmes was impregnated by 19 Arabs with box-cutters, albeit with the assistance of high level intelligence operatives inside both the CIA and the Pakistani ISI.

A recent Vanity Fair cover story has added fuel to the fire, particularly since it fails to address many troubling questions, such as: why did NORAD fail to intercept Cruise’s semen? What happened to WTC7? Who was behind the billions of dollars worth of ‘Put Options’ made on September 10th, 2001, specific to both United and American Airlines? And why was Bin Laden allowed to escape from his hideout in Tora Bora? The Nerve tracked Chris Klein to a facility at Montreal’s Allen Memorial Institute for some answers. After whacking into an

envelope addressed to John Travolta, Klein scoffed at the allegations. “It’s absurd,” said Klein. “My kid was totally conceived by Tom Cruise and my girlfriend Katie Holmes. Anybody who says different must be crazy and believe that TWA 800 was destroyed by a missile or something.” He then added, “Katie Holmes was brought down in a controlled demolition, and can you pass me that envelope addressed to Kevin Spacey, thanks.” The Revolution Will Be Re-issued Sudden Death records has re-released D.O.A.’s classic 1983 album Bloodied But Unbowed in the popular and Anti-Imperialist compact disc format, along with a limited edition picture disc on 12” vinyl. Like you didn’t already know, Bloodied but Unbowed originally collected the best tracks from the band’s first two albums, along with its early

singles and EPs, and subsequently became what the press release I’m looking at describes as “a landmark”. Since I can’t come up with a better word for it, we’ll just stick with “landmark”, okay? In related news, D.O.A. performed at the after party for the film American Hardcore, which received its Canadian premier at the Toronto International Film Festival, and will bring its current line-up - Joey Shithead, Randy Rampage, and the Great Baldini – to the Cobalt on October 7th and the Cloverdale Recreational Centre on October 14th. American Hardcore, meanwhile, chronicles the rise of hardcore punk on this continent between 1979 and 1985. The film features performances and interviews with D.O.A., Minor Threat, Circle Jerks, and Black Flag among others. After viewing the film at its Toronto screening, Nerve film section editor Michael Mann asked filmmakers Steven Blush and Paul Rachman why Henry Rollins is such an asshole, and was promptly removed from the press conference by a private security firm who broke his pencil and tied his shoelaces together, while legions of swivel-eyed crusty punks from one coast to another once again rose up in murderous opposition to the diminutive scribe and his impertinent questions. More Revolution In related news,Vancouver legends the Subhumans will celebrate the release of their new album New Dark Age Parade at the Lamplighter on October 13th, followed by a tour that takes them across Canada throughout October and into November. Known not only for their music, but also for their controversial political opinions (Anti-militarism, Disco Sucks etc.), the band is remembered as one of the finest of the original punk era. All of you stupid little fucks who think Sum 41 is a punk band are urged to check subhumans.ca for more info.

on the Island of Necromancy’s Hot 100. What the Fuck? That crazy Japanese midget Damo Suzuki made a rare appearance at the Anza Club on September 7th. The Nerve would like to point out that we tried reeealllyyyy hard (one email) to get an interview with Mr. Suzuki, but the former vocalist for krautrock monoliths Can (possibly the greatest

Suzuki: actual size shown here band of all time) didn’t get back to us. Chances are the interview would have been unintelligible anyway, based on what we’ve heard of Tago Mago and Ege Bamayasi, but it’s all irrelevant now, isn’t it? Sadly, The Nerve’s editorial department couldn’t persuade anybody to review the show either, presumably because it wasn’t at the Cobalt. I would have done it, but I needed to stay home and write this Cheap Shot. I saw Suzuki last time he was here anyway, with his old bandmate Michael Karoli. They played at the Plaza, which is now Wings on Granville, and Damo hugged everybody in the audience after the show. My friend was carrying a little plastic skeleton around and we thought it would be cute and funny if we slipped it into Karoli’s guitar case on the way out. I found out later that Karoli booked the tour knowing he had terminal cancer and he died shortly afterwards. Whoops. Community Announcements Gofuckyerself Press will launch Welfare Wednesdays by Chris Walter @ Lucky Red, Union & Main, on Friday October 6th. Doors at 8:00. A very tall and frightening spokesperson for Gofuckyerself promises free oral sex for the first hundred customers.

Vital Iron Maiden Update!!! In what will surely turn out to be the most important news we receive this year, Cheap Shotz has learned that Iron Maiden’s newest album A Matter of Life and Death debuted at #2 on the Canadian chart in September, #9 on the Billboard US chart, and a remarkable #1 on the Billboard PanEuropean chart. We had no idea there was a place called Pan Europe, but it evidently means home to a lot of people with appalling taste in music. Sadly, A Matter of Life and Death has also tanked in some of Maiden’s more reliable markets, debuting at a measly 42 on the Billboard Harsh Desert World of Athas chart, and 46 in the Realms World of Toril,

Axl Rose Continues to Fascinate Axl Rose announced at the 2006 MTV Awards in August that the long-awaited Guns ‘n’ Roses album Chinese Democracy will finally be released sometime in the future. Tragically, the albino rocker was flattened by a huge Red Army tank only minutes later.

Dickinson: still looking for elusive “quit sucking” spell right behind Justin Timberlake. Continued civil unrest in the corrupt city of Lankhmar is assumed to be responsible for the failure of the new album to chart at all on the planet Newhon, while the Charonti of Jakandor have boycotted all Maiden releases since Bruce Dickinson proclaimed his solidarity with the Barbarians of Knorr during a performance in 2001, which is probably why the album has yet to show up

Axl Rose: back on top!

Yak Yak Yak While the Satanic overlords of American foreign policy continued to push us implacably towards the Big One, Barbara Walters performed her patriotic duty this month and diverted everybody’s attention with the announcement – made during September 12th’s The View – that her toy dog Cha Cha is capable of speech, and actually said the words “I love you” to the wizened and senile legend of American broadcasting. While the news shocked and dismayed Walters’ co-hosts on The View – including Jack Black look-a-like Rosie O’Donnell – seasoned viewers were less impressed, pointing out that they’ve been listening to talking dogs ever since the program first debuted in 1997. Nancy Grace Finds G-Spot Popular television host and reincarnated Spanish Inquisitor Nancy Grace enjoyed her first orgasm ever this month when she finally succeeded in driving one of her guests to suicide. After being harangued by the pinchfaced gargoyle of vigilante justice on her CNN Headline News program, Melinda Duckett - mother of missing toddler Trenton Duckett promptly went home and blew “I feel your pain.” her own head off. Grace, who was raised out of the earth in a blood rite involving F. Lee Bailey, Joan Rivers, and the skeleton of Senator Joe McCarthy, was unavailable for comment. In a prepared statement, corporate bosses at the leading news network told reporters, “Rise, oh Baphomet,” while several journalists were driven permanently insane in the ensuing supernatural lightning storm and appearance of giant squid-like entities in the sky. Who Wouldn’t Trust a Yale Educated Spook? It was revealed this month that sexy and not-gay CNN anchor Anderson “the” Cooper was formerly an intern with the Central Intelligence Agency, during his junior and sophomore years at Yale. Cooper insists it was merely a summer job however, and that his ties to civilian intelligence ended shortly after they initiated him into their secret program of media infiltration. Other fascinating facts

Cooper: diaper implicated in JFK assassination about the most trusted face in Imperialist Yankee propaganda: his mother is Gloria Vanderbilt, of the famed “Gloria” Vanderbilts, and he was photographed by the extremely weird and troubled American photographer Diane Arbus back when he was just a little baby CIA asset. Writes Arbus’ biographer Patricia Bosworth: “In this truly astonishing picture, the infant resembles a flat white death’s head — eyes sealed shut, mouth pursed and moist with saliva.” Nothing creepy about that.

The Nerve September 2006 Page


THE TYDE - THREE’S CO. “Beach-pop that Brian Wilson might have sounded like if he’d listened obsessively to ‘80s indie legends Felt while he was playing in his sandpit.” - NME 8/10 “Bright, anxious pop-rock melodies that pulse with a geeky charm.” - SPIN

ON TOUR w/ The Black Angels October 22 - Vancouver Richard’s On Richards October 30 - Toronto Horseshoe Tavern October 31 - Montreal La Sala Rosa

THEA GILMORE - HARPO’S GHOST “The most provocative songwriter to emerge from England in years.” - USA TODAY ““H H H H....Gilmore is already in a league of her own.” -Q ““H H H H...the most coherent, literate, and charged singer-songwriter of her generation.” -MOJO

- ALSO IN STORES NOW ADAM GREEN - JACKET FULL OF DANGER 4th solo release from former “Moldy Peaches” member “Blessed with a baritone unmatched in modern pop, he delivers 15 exquisite ditties.” - UNCUT

JEFFREY & JACK LEWIS - CITY & EASTERN SONGS “the Big Apple’s best-kept secret” - NME (8/10) “Weird-folk finery…Vividly surreal, poignant and droll.” - UNCUT (4/5)

LOS ABANDONED - MIX TAPE “Pop-punk en español is still pop-punk, and the way the L.A. quartet Los Abandoned has rendered it on its long-awaited debut “Mix Tape” it’s exhilarating no matter whether it is in English, Spanish or Spanglish.” – LA TIMES

The Nerve October 2006 Page Multi_Nerve.indd 1

20/9/06 13:28:09


IAG_HeartAttack_Nerve.indd 1

Converge_Nerve.indd 1

9/25/06 5:04:34 PM

The Nerve October9/25/06 20065:00:22 Page PM


CONTENTS

A

m s b s g m g l m b

g n a o C w g s m a t Y o m l s C

r b a b A w d G i o h I 1 f

r m b e t fl (

The Nerve October 2006 Page 10

n


CONTENTS

Don’t Get No Respect

By Chris Walter

A

ging Youth Gang has been around for a long time. They were here before emo reared its ugly head. They were here when “Hardcore” meant DOA and Black Flag. They were here when squeegee punks could wash car windows without being fined. They were here when everyone was strung out on crack and smack. They have seen punk go from a marginal oddity to a consumer commodity. They were even here when NOFX made good records - and as you know, that was a very long time ago indeed. And finally, you can bet your mesh trucker hat that Aging Youth Gang were punks before you were a punk. Let’s face it; Chris of AYG is a guitar geek. The guitar is a natural extension of his body and he never puts it down even to shower. Chris can write a new song or peel off a blazing lead easier than you or I can tie our shoes or take out the trash. Though Chris can (and does) mend fences and hunt deer with his guitar, it is more than a tool to him; the guitar is his raison d’être, his reason to live. Now, should a man like this toil in obscurity while fist magnets like Justin Timberlake top the charts? There are many injustices in the world today, but surely this tragedy must be near the top. Not that Aging Youth Gang has made any effort to achieve fame or stardom, but you’d think that a little recognition might be in order. With this in mind, I set out to learn a little more about this band that has endured so long for so little. First, I wanted to know when Chris last got his ass kicked at a punk boozecan. He

The grand total of bands that played the ‘circuit’ we’ve played and have gone on to fame, fortune, and notoriety remains at a calm and constant zero.

responds, “Wow, that’s a loaded question. It should be rephrased, ‘when was the last time you got your ass kicked by more than one loogan?’ That would’ve been outside the second What Gallery. I was in 5 Against 1 at the time (Ha ha, adds editor), and there was a big fracas in the alley after a show. The next day, we came back early to practice, and I remember Greg, one of the guys who ran the place, coming into the room with no front teeth, demanding to see our damage. Mark and I showed him our shiners and he seemed oddly pleased by that. For the most part, I’ll leave fighting to the boneheads and siblings under 10. But don’t try to hassle me about my Hello Kitty fetish or we’re gonna waddle.” I wanted to know if he had any good memories of those punk rock boozecan days, or if it was mostly mud, blood, and beer. “I have tons of good but hazy memories. Silly things like the bathtub o’ empties at Drizzlyland and the doped out art on the walls. Relentlessly pelting Flash Bastard with flat after flat of empty cans. It started with just one (gig) and after a while, those guys couldn’t take the

stage without being barraged. Sadly, after a while the bad shit went down often enough to taint the whole concept of a ‘scene’ in many people’s eyes. In the early days though, everyone got along and helped each other out, be it sharing gear and supporting one another’s bands, displaying their art, networking with like-minded individuals, or just giving people a place to mingle and hang out.You can’t underestimate the social benefit of places like that, and I made many friends there. The jaded will say it was just a place to score, bore, and snore but there was a certain modest dignity that prevailed. It was all lost after the whole boozecan experience was reduced to fighting, fucking, and falling down. Nowadays, it seems to me boozecans are just places to make profit, run by loogans for loogans.” We moved on, and I wanted to know more about the history of Aging Youth Gang. “Not many people know this,” says Chris, “But Aging Youth Gang continues to this day playing gore grind under the pseudonym of Septic Colon. We just got back from a show in Trondheim, Norway. As far as our direct pedigree goes, here’s a short list of some of the bands our members have been kicked out of; in no particular order, the Spores, Curious George, the Insipids, Sex In Sweden, White Heat, Pete Sinatra, 5 Against 1, Motorama, the Probes, Huskee Dudes, Karnivorous Raunch Fux, the Jazz Holes, Betty Kracker, Offday, Hellbent Cuntry, Dog Eat Dogma, Zetetic, and many, many more. Whores, all of us.” “As far as I know,” Chris continues, “The nucleus of AYG was formed in 1991. They released a brilliant four-song demo cassette around the time 5 Against 1 and Aging Youth Gang were playing gigs together at the second incarnation of the What Gallery on Pender Street. Now, there was a crazy boozecan! It was a concrete bunker with a rickety makeshift mezzanine cobbled together with 2 x 4s and plywood. I’m surprised the sucker never came down; sometimes it was just packed solid with people. We joked that if it fell at a certain angle it would hit the stage, and thankfully, take out the band that was playing in the process. That was in late ’92 or early ‘93. After a few years, two of the founding members left the band to focus on work that took them away from the music scene. AYG was near folding when I talked to Sandy after a Buzzcocks show in 1996 and he agreed to let me try out for the vacant guitar spot. Mind you, senility is rapidly taking hold, so those dates and events are approximate and may be out by several years.” I ask what keeps Aging Youth Gang going. The groupies and free cocaine, or is this a higher calling? “You can only do so much coke before the membranes in your nose deteriorate, and you can only bang so many chicks before the doctors at the walk in clinic start giving you dirty looks. We do it because it’s still a blast. I kind of laugh to myself when I talk to young punks playing the bars and all-ages shows these days with visions of success, excess and prosperity in their eyes. They do it because it’s fun and interesting, but they’re still naïve enough to think it’ll pay the bills

and get them pinned up on some gal’s wall if they just get a break. The grand total of bands that played the ‘circuit’ we’ve played and have gone on to fame, fortune and better yet, notoriety, remains at a calm and constant zero. Mind you, some view success as driving to Halifax and back in a half-dead Econoline. If that’s the case, we rub elbows with a galaxy of stars. It all boils down to perception and what you want out of your band. Is it a fashion statement, an artistic statement, a come on, a marketing tool, a

revolutionary flashpoint, or just four guys making loud noise? “We keep playing because it’s a rush to get onstage time after time and see how long we can keep the train from derailing. My bandmates may disagree adamantly, but they’re not here right now, are they?” No, and besides, it’s hard to see how they would be able to put it as eloquently. Check out Aging Youth Gang releases on Crusty Records. n

The Nerve October 2006 Page 11

n


CONTENTS

COMEDY

“Jason Bateman is on the phone …”

PHOTOS AND COLLAGE: DALE DE RUITER

A Week in the Life of a Comedy Festival

by Kliph Nesteroff

T

hey all laughed. Even though nobody “got it.” But an entire audience was too terrified that they might look stupid if they didn’t laugh, so they pretended that they understood “the gag.” The DVD player equivalent of a telepattern - a strange manufacturer’s logo coupled with a looped piece of muzak - played over and over on a big screen at the start of the Comedians of Comedy show at the Vancouver International Comedy Festival. Nobody in the audience had any idea the DVD player was stuck, and the audience laughed uproariously every 10 seconds as this seemingly meaningless loop played over and showed no signs of ceasing. Such a misunderstanding is bound to occur when attending a show featuring a cast of what is referred to as the “New York Alternative Comedy scene.” The phrase in itself is supposed to conjure up images of the weird, the bizarre, the original, and definitely not the hackneyed cliché that too often comes to mind when people hear the words “Stand Up Comedy.” And so the audience at the Vancouver East Cultural Center laughed at this technical foul up, too terrified to admit that they didn’t “get it,” pretending instead to understand what certainly must have been the epitome of New York comedy hipness. On the bill were many faces of NY and LA comedy chic that would become familiar around town for the week; Janeane Garofolo, Brian Posehn, Maria Bamford, Morgan Murphy, Howard Kremer, Andy Kindler, and Vancouver’s hippest stand-up, Graham Clark. The presence of other hip comedy stars didn’t hurt the fest one bit either. At a live taping of the popular CBC Radio One show The Debaters, in which two funny people are pitted against each other to debate a pre-determined topic, Scott Thompson (partly responsible for one of the greatest Canadian television comedy shows ever) got into a memorable cat fight with fellow

gay comic Elvira Kurt (partly responsible for one of the worst Canadian television comedy shows ever). They were supposed to be debating the pros and cons of the “cult of celebrity.” This turned out to be the mere springboard for the two to viciously attack the,seemingly not too good direction of each other’s careers. The result must have felt similar to attending an original drunken Friar’s Club Roast in the ‘60s. And just like those legendarily profane roasts, it’s most likely that the funniest parts of this debate (moderated by TV’s Shaun Majumder) will never air on conservative CBC Radio. Majumder himself did a very funny impression of what CBC Radio sounds like to his ears, “mumble mumble mumble … D Minor … mumble mumble mumble … the next two hours … mumble mumble mumble.” David Cross, perhaps the foremost poster child of “Alternative Comedy,” hero to scores of thousands for his fail-safe taste in choosing projects (Mr. Show, Arrested Development, and several excellent Michel Gondry projects, including a short film in which Cross played a giant walking piece of

shit – and Gondry “his father”), was interviewed for the second time by Nardwuar the Human Serviette on a memorable Friday afternoon. Along for the ride were Janeane Garofolo and another darling of the New York set, Todd Barry. It should be noted if the names of most of these comedians mean nothing to you, a simple google image search should produce faces you will recognize. Most every comedian in town had extensive credits including multiple Conan O’Brien, Tonight Show, Late Show, Chappelle Show etc. etc. etc. appearances. Unfortunately, due to ComedyCentral not being available in Canada (apparently the CRTC has stipulations against laughing, as the tragedy of channels that air the Red Green Show not being fined for this crime prove), they are not household names. The comedy festival publicist tried to make it clear at the start that Nardwuar was only allotted five minutes for the interview, and that “David is in a bad mood.” in reality, this was understandable as many performers and press alike complained of chronic disorganization within the festival throughout the week. And so the three comics were escorted along

Dane Cook imagine if that guy who used to call you a fag and throw corn nuts at the back of your head in high school suddenly became the country’s most famous comedian

the slippery tile of the Sutton Hotel’s swimming pool to be interviewed on the sun deck for a mere five minutes. The publicist left and just as the interview was about to begin, Cross’ cel phone rang. Jason Bateman, star of Arrested Development was on the line, and such an event takes precedence over an interview for Canadian TV. Janeane and David spent the next 10 minutes talking on the phone eating up precious interview time. Finally, the call had ended and Nardwuar had the chance to ask the team about a pile of old comedy records that he brought along. Garofolo was pestered about the origins of many female comedy record stars of bygone years like Rusty Warren (“Oh, Rusty Warren! Knockers Up! I have her album Knockers Up … she was Banned in Boston.”) Garofolo’s act was cause for much debate over the course of the fest for both performers and audience members. Garofolo’s measured pace does not rely on rapid fire jokes, but commentary (that is to say just that, comments – and little else) that explored the continuing right wing turn of Canadian politics. No other performer at the fest was so simultaneously panned and adored, created such heated argument, and at times such pure unadulterated rage. Her act definitely got better over the course of the week as she had more time to study Globe and Mail articles, the history of Stephen Harper, and episodes of 100 Huntley Street. During the excellent Best of the Fest marathon show at The Centre, Garofolo commented on how her inhouse hotel television channel described Gastown. “Looking for something to do in Vancouver? Visit Gastown! An emerging district.” JG explained that coming from New York, “Yes, I am familiar with this phrase … emerging … I understand what that’s supposed to mean.” She then proceeded to do a series of very funny impressions of the familiar

B

I

c s t e t A a i y p r a T ( c t l T B c l p

E p B h c c c s I n – r e h p t t t b o

The Nerve October 2006 Page 12

n


CONTENTS COMEDY

PHOTOS AND COLLAGE: DALE DE RUITER

Vancouver drug-addled posture. Comedian Andy Kindler is the definition of the phrase “a comic’s comic.” He is an expert at alienating audiences due to joking about little other than the shittiness of various hackneyed stand up comedy conventions. More often than not, Kindler’s performances feature audiences confused into silence while other comedians howl uproariously. However, the comedians laugh so hard that if you didn’t know better you’d assume everyone in the audience was laughing. His scathing, bang on impression of the most popular stand up comedian in the United States, Dane Cook, got a cool reception from multiple crowds at the fest due mostly in part to Cook’s lack of star power in Canada. Cook will be the first stand up comedian since Steve Martin to host Saturday Night Live based solely on the star power of his act – a very mediocre act (imagine if that guy who used to call you a fag and throw corn nuts at the back of your head in high school suddenly became the country’s most famous comedian). A few days later Kindler acknowledged that he found out Dane Cook is not a household name in Canada, but that he can’t help but make fun of the blonde-highlight-headed douche no matter what the environment. Local Vancouver talent was just as good, just as hip, just as “alternative,” as anyone coming up from America. The unfortunately titled Words and Music show at the Cultch could easily have been billed as a straight up comedy show, and if you did not know in advance those on the show were “spoken word performers,” there would be no way you would have known the difference. Richard Van Camp, Shane Koyzcan, and Ivan Coyote all put forth hilarious performances and maybe next year they can be

d

incorporated into the regular comedy shows so as to reach a larger comedy audience. The city’s most brilliant character actor, Jason Bryden, hosted a farewell show for the conceptual talk show, It’s Good to Know People, a weekly cult favorite at the recently

I will punch your fucking ho girlfriend in the face … I will rip out your goddamn tongue you son of a bitch deceased Wink on Main. Playing a flaky new age host named Bev, Bryden improvises in character with his given surroundings, bringing on various guests from all walks of life, this night featuring the excellent Run, Chico, Run. Marc Maron was, as I recall, the first stand up comedian to ever appear on Late Night with Conan

O’Brien. A regular on the show for the first year (and I mean regular, appearing almost once every week and a half), the acerbic beacon of punk rock attitude performed in every local comedy venue Vancouver has to offer, telling the occasional drunken jock heckler that if they didn’t shut up, “ … I will punch your fucking ho girlfriend in the face … I will rip out your goddamn tongue you son of a bitch.” So outrageous was the occasional explosion that many audiences assumed it to be a hilarious put-on, although Maron would shake his head at himself after the gig explaining, “I hate when I lose it like that.” He admits to having serious anger management problems, but luckily he has no problems managing jokes and his subversive act is excellent. The same can not be said of Los Angeles comedian Steve Byrne whose performance at Yuk Yuks Friday night was the epitome of everything that was/is/or that you think might be wrong with stand up comedy. With Mitch Hedburg dead and Steve Byrne alive you need little else proof that there is no such thing as God. In a perfect world the awful Steve Byrne would kill himself. If you think that is harsh thing to say just because I don’t like his act, then you obviously have never seen him perform. Riddled with much disorganization (complaints about the way the festival was organized turned into material for David Cross, Todd Barry, and the brilliant Todd Glass just to name a few), the Vancouver International Comedy Festival was an incredible week of brilliant comedic writers, “antiAmerican atheists,” and just a great deal of hilarity that would anger FOX News, confuse your parents, and never air on CBC. n

Jason Bryden

Getting To Know People By Adam Simpkins

I

f you’ve ever spent any time roaming around Mt. Pleasant, with its bevy of coffee shops and abundant supply of watering holes, then you’ve probably encountered likeable actor/producer Jason Bryden. A tall man, an honest man, a man whose sole purpose is to entertain the pants off you - or maybe just get the pants off you - Bryden currently hosts the late-night alternative lecture series The Strip Mall and co-hosts (along with the equally charming David Milchard) the increasingly popular live variety show It’s Good To Know People. As such, Bryden is quickly building a community of like-minded laughaholics, one thoughtprovoking chuckle at a time. Living on Vancouver’s Eastside for the better part of his man-years, Bryden has been getting his hands dirty in all things creative over the past decade: acting in movies and commercials, performing stand-up, and producing short films. The concept for It’s Good To Know People was inspired by the Evening/PM magazine shows made popular in the 1980s – you know, those half-hour infotainment potpourris that would air in that awkward slot between the evening news and prime time, presented by toothy hosts, insipid and broken, who would interview local pastry chefs, attend ice-carving festivals and even test drive the few new Jazzercize moves that were tearing up local fitness centres. Needless to say, that was quality television, and Bryden’s latest show brings that same spirit to the micro-level, focusing on the unique characters of Mt. Pleasant.

“With IGTKP, I wanted to build a community,” Bryden says. “I always thought that was a bastion of the hippies living on the Drive. They were the ones always talking about community; honestly, I never used to like the idea. I’m not a great co-operator, nor do I like sharing creative control, but what started as a comedy show became something greater – people came to be with one another to let their guard down and sing silly folk songs with us.” But what makes IGTKP so entertaining isn’t necessarily its guests – who range from local shopkeepers to unsuspecting mayoral candidates - but the

sheer absurdity of it all. Bryden and Milchard play Bev PoCock and Chris Wes, a pair of sycophantic hosts that unwittingly offend their guests as much as delight them. Often dressed in colourful sweaters lifted from Value Village, the two are known to make guests (and audiences) feel uncomfortable – by either letting them in on the joke too much, or not at all. Mostly inspired by British comics such as Peter Cook, Dudley Moore and Steve Coogan, the two are bringing a welcome twist to the usual dick-and-fart jokes that seem to clutter comedy joints around town. Bryden’s other project, The Strip Mall, is a live showcase for anyone of basic intelligence to speak for 10 minutes on a non-traditional subject of their choice – usually a topic that wouldn’t necessarily be taught in the classroom. Previous lectures have been “Flea Markets: Burning Man for Oldsters”, “Cuba is a Bad Place To Live But A Great Place To Vacation” and “My Mother: The Sexy Priest”. Sound funny? Not always – and it’s not supposed to be - but it’s always entertaining and… you might just learn something. At the time of print, these two dirt-cheap shows are currently being held monthly at Wink Café (151 East 8th Ave), but may be moved elsewhere due to a sudden change in management. For more up-to-date information, check out www.jbryden.com. n

The Nerve October 2006 Page 13

n


ALL PHOTOS: JACKIE DIVES

CONTENTS

Art. Community. Hot Dogs. Maslianski’s Rant.

try and make it legitimate.” Inevitably, once Johnny Moneybags caught wind... that was it. No matter that everyone else was happy, including the Fuzz. No, that isn’t your mom. “I promoted mostly just in Strathcona, trying to provide a space for people in the neighbourhood abriel Deerman is a neighbourhood giant. to come play music and party and drink. We never Why? This laid-back and inviting George received any complaints. I actually made the only Snuffleupagus look-alike turned his warecomplaint – I called the police because there was house home - already a jam space and artist’s haven this really haggard prostitute that was freaking out - into a recording studio, outdoor music venue, and and refused to leave. But they never came.” drive-in theatre! Gabe’s adamant promotion of alternative, versaWaaahhh? tile spaces led to involvement in the 156 Collective, Inspiring! Ridiculous! Hands-on community spirit, which aimed to rework the dilapidated building at right to the tits. 156 Hastings into an artist’s studio and venue. He’s The place, Maslianski’s (christened after Gabe’s also part of ICAN, an organization drawing attention old family name), is buried inside the industrial (via candlelight vigils!) to artist spaces currently shuffle at 1055 E Cordova. Gabriel took his best M.I.A or deceased; spots like Seamrippers, the stab this summer at reinvigorating Vanshitty with Butchershop, and other unique, off-kilter, galleries. the classic cinema-going “And the ridiculous thing experience – for a measly is that a lot of them $5.00 donation, you could aren’t taken seriously watch treasures like by the art community,” Toxic Avengers, Twin Peaks, Gabe continues. “That’s and Enter the Dragon, really a bummer, because projected every Sunday I think there’s a real night onto the wall of hunger for that. It’s sad Maslianski’s parking lot, that it’s rare.” with hot dogs spittin’ So what can we do? on the grill and beer keg “Unless you are really a-foamin’! Bring your good at dealing with the own lawn chair and flask. bureaucracies, money GOOD TIMES. talks. If you can buy a Well. Obviously it was space – and that’s what A few more shows like this and Gabe unlicensed and too good I’ve come to think is the should be able to buy another wall to last. Angry landlord, in way to go – then you this case. Fuck off... don’t have a landlord Why classic cult shit? Says Gabe, “I figure that who is going to shut you down. And if your landlord people who are going to come out and watch a is against you, you’re fucked. And even if they are for movie in, ya know, the ghetto, probably aren’t gonna you, you’re probably fucked anyway with the city.” come out for softer stuff.” On the plus side - MaslianCan’t argue with that! His ski’s returns with a new plan. plans extend to screening Instead of buckling (like a belt), independent and politiGabriel and his mini-crew of cal stuff too, only in other committed freaks are shellplaces... or rather, spaces... ing out the cash and turning This dude is obsessed Maslianski’s into a serious, with malleable real estate. competitive recording studio. “There’s something reWhich is A+ awesome, beally special, not just about cause talented folk + low-key outdoor shows, but shows demeanors = happy recording that are not in a bar, not in a venue, very DIY,” says experience. Gabe. Spaces like Zeppelin (12 Water St.), a new Gabe’s final thoughts: “Really, I’d like to buy this venue/bar/gallery/outdoor patio/lounge/ SOMETHING or other, tucked inside a Gastown courtyard – next to BC Tel’s one millionth telephone – where bands can crank it in the outdoor living room, and no one seems to care. And – oh yeah – Gabriel’s truly magnificent stencil-n-paint canvases coat the walls, one of which has felt the Bertrand ‘touch’. Check this: Gabe: Why don’t you take a piss on my painting? Me: What??? Gabe: I covered it in rust paint. I want to test the reaction. Me: Sure! Art is about diving balls-deep into Notes from the Underground at Wembley Stadium your obsessions, and taking chances. And Gabriel’s empire WILL NOT DIE! Zeppelin will be booking gigs under the Maslianski’s umbrella - starting with the Finches, the Bushes, building (Maslianski’s). That’s my main goal. And it’s and Yukon on Oct. 2nd - now that Maslianski’s, as a going for sale in a year in a half, and if I can get like, venue is defunct. Reminisces Gabe about his HQ, a million dollars, I could buy this whole building and “Shows there were basically rent parties. I think that it would be amazing. That’s sort of pie in the sky, was kind of the demise of the place – after there but it could happen. And if I were to do that, I think were no problems, ever, I just started doing it every this would instantly be the most amazing venue in week. I knew if I asked my landlord for permission, Vancouver. I think it would just be absurdly cool.” he would say no. The worst thing I could do was to I love this guy. Give him money. n

G

Why don’t you take a piss on my painting?

The Nerve October 2006 Page 14

n

T


t

n

m

CONTENTS

The Feminists

Knocking Shit into a Cocked Hat

boardist Allyson Mara, drummer Mike Zobac, bassist Ferdy Belland), united behind one of the greatest misfits you’re likely to see on a local stage (Keith Grief – guitar/ vocals), all of them entertaining a secret hunger for portentous, keyboard driven prog. Not math!! Prog. But in the nicest way, and with hooks that will carry you through the worst day. Are folk intimidated by the Fems’ higher-than-average group intelligence, maybe? I doubt it, but it’s still worth noting that this particular quartet tends to give the impression of a little more life behind the eyes than most. That said, Mara reveals - during a quick phone chat from London, Ontario - that the only books being read on the band’s current cross CanThe Feminists: still better looking than actual feminists ada tour are: Stephen King’s The Watchtower (Zobac), and an Atlas (Belland). “He plans his dream By Herman Menervemanana tours,” Mara reveals about Belland, who contributes to The Nerve and is a weirdo. ancouver – fuck - come on! The Feminists “He writes down pages and pages of cities and dates, are one of the best bands in the city. Easily. stuff like that. When we hang out with other bands, Last year they released an album called She he shows them.” Sometimes Belland and Zobac read Could Be that knocked most of the stuff out there the really gory passages from King’s The Watchtower into a cocked hat. Did you buy a copy? Probably not, out loud. “That can be very cute,” says Mara. Grief, but you probably did show up en masse at some art meanwhile, just plays with his Gameboy. This is what boob’s walk-in closet just to let the Winks or some brainboxes do on tour. No reason to be bothered other half-baked “sensation” take an actual shit right by any of that. in your ears, didn’t you? You stupid fuckers. Is it the whole ‘songwriting/musicianship’ thing The Feminists: power pop built by eggheads (key-

V

that frightens people, then? Mara thinks not. “I think it’s the name,” she announces. “It puts people off.” Mara does agree that her band is a cut above, however. “Everywhere we go,” she says, “We tend to stand out as a band who can play our instruments and have songwriting and arrangements and stuff like that. But we wouldn’t have stood out 30 years ago, and I really believe that musicianship is being lost, that not as many people are learning technique or getting into the history of music. And that shouldn’t be a standout, crazy, weird thing. I wish all bands did it, and that was sort of like the benchmark, or the lowest common denominator.” The Feminists did actually receive a right royal goodbye at Vancouver’s Lamplighter when they kicked off their tour mid-September – it was enough of a wing-ding to persuade Mara that her band isn’t just “toiling away in the unknown” – and their crossCanada jaunt is evidently going well, although Belland comes in for some shit after nearly sinking a sold out show in Hamilton with NoMeansNo. Fifteen minutes after the Feminists were supposed to start their set, Belland bounds into the bar, throws off his coat and jumps on stage, where the rest of his livid bandmates have already resigned themselves to playing without him. “I was so relieved that he showed up,” Mara says (she thought he might have been killed by one of the locals. Hamilton’s a rough town), “But I was so mad. We didn’t want to look like chumps in front of NoMeansNo. During Ferdy’s bass solo, Mike just stopped playing, and hung him out to dry. But we’re all friends again, now.”

It turns out the errant Belland was only enjoying a few pints with an old buddy, but his band still forced him to sleep in the “Punishment Seat.” The last thing I wanted to do is talk to Belland, since, as a regular Nerve contributor, his noxious goodwill towards all mankind gets enough play in this magazine already, and furthermore gives me a migraine. But Mara puts him on the phone anyway, and he proceeds to tell me that the Punishment Seat isn’t all that bad. “I’m long enough that I can just put my feet up against the door and brace myself, much in the same way they used a big iron bar to brace the walls of the trash compactor in Star Wars,” he explains. Of course. The Feminists will roll back into town for another beano at the Lamplighter on October 19th, accompanied by Bend Sinister and the Painted Birds, who are named after Vladimir Nabakov and Jerzy Kosinski novels, respectively. The Feminists, as Belland points out, “ are named after an entire section of books.” He makes a good point. Then he makes another good point right after that, when I tell him that his band should be stuck in the middle of a bidding war. “Yeah,” he says, “But since that’s not happening, our options are to remain inactive and twiddle our thumbs, or make things happen ourselves. So we’re just making things happen ourselves. And then they’ll all be sorry! They’ll kick our ass today, and kiss our asses tomorrow.” Right again.Vancouver, please pucker up. Canada, you too. n

They’ll kick our ass today, and kiss our asses tomorrow

Lamb of God Blythe’s Spirit By Jenna James

D

espite my fancy for thrash metal icons Lamb of God, I was a tad apprehensive to chat with the band’s allegedly uncouth vocalist, Randy Blythe. Once the interview begins however, I quickly figure out that Blythe’s supposed arrogance is more accurately described as frankness, and that I admire it. In support of its new album, Sacrament, Lamb of God will be a significant part of the infamous metal blowout Gigantour – something that most bands would uphold as an honor. But Blythe informs Nerve, “I don’t really care. I listen to Opeth and I’m friends with Arch Enemy, [but] I’m not a fan of any of the bands, really.” Then he tells me that he’s punk rock. Randy has been moshing to punk rock longer than I have been alive. It doesn’t take long for me to notice that this major label metal frontman is pissed off with no one giving a fuck or recognizing the music he listens to. Wound up from having someone to talk to that actually does give a fuck, Randy launches into his personal punk rock history lesson, and lets me know that the metal has yet to transform him. “I am more into punk now than I am into metal. I have been listening to punk music since ‘83/’84. The first punk rock I ever heard was Never Mind the Bollocks by the Sex Pistols and I became a British punk elitist kind of dude, listening to Slaughter and the Dogs and all that stuff up to the second wave like the Blitz. Then I discovered Black Flag and Bad Brains; [then] I started to listen to a lot more of the American hardcore stuff. On up to the late ‘80s, early ‘90s, I started to follow the Bay Area stuff like Crimpshrine.” I’m floored when Randy tells me about being friends with Jeff Ott’s band, Crimp-

shine. How the fuck does one who parties with my gutterpunk idols end up fronting Lamb of God? Randy’s signature vocal sound - described by Wikipedia as “death metal style voice, a very low growl that he can use in different pitches” was actually accidentally discovered while Blythe was hanging out with his gutter punk friends, Buzz Oven. “I didn’t really decide [to play with metal dudes],” he explains. “There’s a certain sub-section of what I considered punk metal that is really unique to the south. There were these really crusty, squatter fucks who come from the more punk rock background, but who played heavier metal cords. I hung out with this band Buzz

You guys must get laid all the time Even though some view punk and metal as being related, the remainder of Lamb of God habitually attack the credibility of the music Blythe enjoys. “I am definitely the black sheep in the band,” he sighs. “I didn’t grow up listening to bands like Annihilator, Megadeath, and Iron Maiden. All that shit was a joke to me.” Blythe continues stressing exactly how important punk rock is to metal. “If you listen to a record from Discharge from like ’82, they are already playing like three times as fast as any speed metal band that came out at that time. I actually got into a huge argument with

I didn’t grow up listening to bands like Annihilator, Megadeath, and Iron Maiden. All that shit was a joke to me Oven. One day we were talking about metal and goofing around. I did a death metal growl and they were like, ‘Holy fuck, you can do that!’ It just kind of became known that I can do that.”

my band about how the speed in speed metal actually comes from punk rock. They were, like, ‘Whatever…’, you know? They didn’t believe me.” That is, until some metal legends offered up the clear proof themselves. Blythe recalls, “We were on tour with this band called the Haunted from Sweden. They had members from this legendary band called At The Gates, that my band just totally revered. I started talking to them about all this punk rock and they were like, ‘Oh yeah, it was a huge influence.’ My band just shut up.” After all the metal and punk comparisons I have to add, emo and screemo have as much punk rock and metal roots as Duran Duran. I say fuck that noise; go grab Lamb of God’s latest, Sacraments, for a true three-way metal, thrash, and punk audio gangbang. n

The Nerve October 2006 Page 15


CONTENTS

Teenage Head ...and How to Get Some

“Believe it or not I’m walking on air, I never thought I could feel so free!!!”

By Cameron Gordon

L

ooking out over the crowded lecture hall, Gordie Lewis knew that he’d come along way since his salad days, largely spent knocking about in the Westdale area of Hamilton, Ontario. He might have been veritable fish-out-of-water (most punks don’t have a lot of experience with lecterns) but he knew the content of his speech back to front. After all, he had lived through it. “I got a lot of good feedback from that presentation but honestly, I was nervous as hell,” he confirms, looking back on the incident. “It was one those things where once I got going, the nerves kinda died down and I did OK with it. The fact that I had lived through a lot of the moments and experiences I was talking about made it easy but at the same time, it was strange revisiting all these really important moments in a setting like that.” This was McMaster University circa 1999 and Gordie Lewis, guitarist for Hamilton rock royalty Teenage Head, is giving a special guest lecture about “the history of punk rock music” for 2AA3E – Popular Music. The class was the ultimate bird course on campus and the sight of a few hundred blank expressions, watching this frizzy-haired legend tell his life story, was unique to say the least. Little did Lewis know, an attentive (and dashingly handsome) future Nerve contributor was in the audience that day and would be hitting him up for an interview years later. …Which brings us to the present. 2006 has seen the long-overdue re-release of Teenage Head’s eponymous 1978 debut album, sparking renewed interest in these Canadian trailblazers. The band was one of the country’s most popular touring acts in the late 1970s and into the ‘80s but typical industry BS has kept much of its catalogue out-of-print for years, even though Teenage Head continues to gig to this day. Luckily, the fact that the debut is finally available in stores once again (thanks to a distribution deal with Sonic Unyon Records) should help boost the band’s profile to where it rightly belongs. “It was just one of those things,” says Lewis. “Business affairs get scrambled and the album slipped out of print for many, many years. As far as this rerelease, our goal was to put out the original mixes,

The Nerve October 2006 Page 16

which had never been available on CD. It’s funny because originally when the album came out, we hated how it sounded. I guess we were pretty naïve at the time but somehow, we thought the album didn’t really do our sound justice. In retrospect, the album sounds great but only after all these years later.” The album is released on Lewis’ own Lobotronics imprint, set-up to corral all Teenage Head material going forward. With a few exceptions, the band’s lengthy back catalogue has never been available digitally and Lewis hopes the formation of the label will help curb this issue. “This is the first step of what I hope is going to be many projects and those lost albums will hopefully be a part of that. Teenage Head is a funny band because a lot of material just isn’t available… and I’m not talking studio outtakes or b-sides. We have entire albums, released by major labels, that never got a proper CD release. With Lobotronics and the company now set-up, it gives us a starting point to work from so we’ll see what happens.” It’s a case of catch-up for the band and yet with its rollicking approach to music making and performance, it’s easy to see why business affairs might’ve fallen by the wayside early on. Rounded out by vocalist Frankie Venom (ne: Kerr), Steve Marshall (ne: Mahon) and drummer Nick Stipanitz (ne: …um, Stipanitz… it’s a moot point anyway as some fella named Jack Pedler is the band’s current drummer). Teenage Head were the first early southern Ontario punk band to make a dent in the mainstream. Sure, the Diodes managed to scratch the pop charts with their pissy take on Cyrkle’s “Red

Rubber Ball” but that was a mere blip compared to the inroads Teenage Head was paving. With echoes of Jerry Lee Lewis, Mott the Hoople and a working class spirit derived from their hometown, the band were a popular live act before they had even pressed wax. “There was never even a proper single from that first album… it was basically a vehicle to help support our gigs,” confirms Lewis. “Before the vinyl was released, we recorded a version of ‘Picture My Face’, which was put out as a 45 with ‘You’re Tearing Me Apart’ - both were part of our first proper recording session. It was a picture sleeve, which we ended up designing ourselves. The idea was to keep up with all the cool releases coming out of the UK at that time but in the typical Canadian way, that was deemed too expensive by the label so we had to improvise on our own. But really, Teenage Head didn’t have a proper radio single until ‘Let’s Shake’ and some of the tunes from Frantic City came out. We were a live band, first and foremost.” Indeed, early on, the band weren’t choosy about where or when they played. While they eventually found success all around southern Ontario (college towns like Guelph and Waterloo were especially receptive), Lewis says the band played some “alternative” venues early on that offered a chance to roadtest their live show before smaller, more sheltered audiences. “Back in the mid-1970s, we used to play these youth detention centres just outside Hamilton. The musicians union was getting us these gigs and it was kind of strange but it didn’t really matter because we

Back in the mid-1970s, we used to play these youth detention centres just outside Hamilton. It was kind of strange but a gig was a gig.

were just looking to play. It was actually really positive - some of these kids were in trouble but they seemed to enjoy the music and best of all, we got paid. A gig was a gig.” By 1979, Teenage Head was at the top of its game and continued to be one of the fiercest touring acts in the country. Things cumulated with the infamous 1981 performance at the Ontario Place forum. As the band tore through material from their first three albums, fans at the badly overstuffed venue rioted, trashed the place, scuffled with police and ultimately caused Ontario Place to ban all “rock and roll” for the rest of that summer. Meanwhile, Lewis says the band was getting busy with other up-and-comers in the Canadian music scene. “When we recorded the ‘Top Down’ single, it was actually [producer to the stars] Daniel Lanois who engineered that session. I guess we used him because he was a local, still living in Hamilton at that time, but also because our management company didn’t want to give the job to a rookie. Daniel ended up singing back-up and playing keyboards with us in the studio but again, that’s just an example of how collaborative and how tight the scene was back then - it was a small number of people but there was a lot of overlap between everybody involved.” The band dipped back underground by the mid-80s and for all intent and purposes, they have remained there until this day. And yet there is still a strong core of “Head Heads” that have stuck with the band plus some old friends looking to collaborate; some living, some not so much. In terms of the latter, Lewis struck up a friendship with the late Johnny Thunders in the mid-1970s when Teenage Head was in its infancy and Thunders’ meal ticket, the New York Dolls, were headlining at Massey Hall in Toronto. Lewis befriended Thunders after that gig and the pair stayed friendly in the years to come. Lewis played live with Thunders on a number of occasions and says that even while the New York rocker battled a serious heroin addiction and other personal demons, he always took time to catch-up when he passed through southern Ontario. “Even when he was bottoming out there in the 1980s, he was still a really nice guy that whole time. He always remembered my name when he came through town and took time to hang out.You’d think he wouldn’t be able to remember anything by that point.” Another ally was Marc Bell, known to the outside world as Marky Ramone. Teenage Head played with the Ramones a number of times over the years and much like the case with Thunders, Lewis struck up a friendship with the drummer that stuck. Ultimately, Ramone twiddled the sticks in a 2003 recording session with the band, burning through a set of Teenage Head classics with producer Daniel Rey (White Zombie, the Misfits, L7). The sessions remain on ice to this day but again, it’s another piece of tape that Lewis is looking to unearth under the Lobotronic umbrella. “I went to see Marky a few months back in Toronto when he was doing a DJ set and the first thing he said was, ‘What the hell are you doing? Where are those tunes?’ So I loaded him up with the first three albums and promised that the next step would be getting those Marky tracks out. Even if the stuff only gets released digitally, it’s really important to me to make sure it gets out one way or another. Same goes for all our albums.” Lewis was recently contacted by Canadian director William Phillips (Foolproof,Treed Murray) about the potential biopic of the band, their story and their music. While the project is by no means a guarantee, the fact that Canadians are still clamouring over Teenage Head 30 years later is a testament to its lasting power. To this day, Lewis remains eternally grateful for the support his band continues to receive. “There’s definitely a sense of accomplishment when we’re still hearing these kind of comments and getting these kind of reactions years later. It’s tough when you’re young and you’re creating; it’s easy to lose sight of the impact of your actions. For us, I think we were pretty aware that we had something special going on because there was that passion for the music we were making and luckily, that passion and that interest is still there.” n


CONTENTS

Black Angels

PHOTO: JUSTIN DYLAN RENNEY

Bringing Black Truth

“I’ll have a bowl of sadness, with a side order of crushing reality and a coffee, black.”

By Devon Cody

T

he son of a preacher, the daughter of a mortician and a guy from a Utah cult all walk into a bar… Sounds like a joke doesn’t it? Well, it isn’t. It just so happens that this preacher’s son, mortician’s daughter, and cult kid make up one half of the Black Angels; a band that is definitely no joke, as evidenced by their full-length debut Passover. For those who don’t know, Passover is a Jewish holiday that commemorates the Exodus from ancient Egypt. The holiday is symbolic of the birth of the Jewish nation and their emancipation from slavery under the Pharaoh. It’s an interesting title choice given the social climate in the US and particularly, the band’s home state of Texas. On the line from

their rehearsal space in Austin, Christian Bland, Black Angels’ guitarist (aka the preacher’s son) elaborates on the inspiration for the album title. “We were inspired by the religious connotations and the Joy Division song called ‘Passover’. The lyrics to that are really relevant to what going on in the world right now. The need for a starting over, cleaning up what’s going on in the USA and all over the world. We’re the country that people look up to and I don’t think we’re setting a great example.” As you might expect, many of Bland’s peers in Texas don’t share his views on his country’s leaders, their policies, and their wars. The band has often received criticism from people with more conservative, nationalistic upbringings. This includes close friends who’ve gone so far with their beliefs as to

sign up to be shipped off to the Middle East. “A lot of the people who are going off don’t agree with what we’re saying because they have pride in their country,” Bland explains. “However, our friends who have come back from there relate to our music, which is kind of interesting. Everyone that I’ve talked to who have come back have relinquished at least a little bit of the pride that they had upon leaving. I think they went over thinking that America’s always the good guy and then after they come back, suddenly their eyes have been opened and they consider the possibility that they’re the enemy.” Finding these revelations in all the bullshit that’s been heaped on us post-911 is no easy task. In fact, it’s downright disheartening just sorting through it. The Black Angels know this. Rather than try to win people over with rousing anthems of hope, Passover injects listeners with haunting, electric cynicism. Like a visit to Dachau, it stirs up righteous anger and dread and serves as an ominous warning against inaction and ignorance. Considering the psychedelic nature of their music however, one’s inclined to think the Black Angels are more likely to attract the average skunk-breathed space cadet before the social activist. So why did Bland and his clan choose psych? “One of my big influences was in 2003 when I

went and saw the Warlocks open up for Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. When I saw nine people up there on stage for the Warlocks, two drums, four guitars… I knew that’s what I wanted to be doing. The stage presence of those nine people looked real intimidating, like an otherworldly power up there. I knew right then that I wanted to be part of something like that.” Let’s hypothesize for a moment. What if the war was to cease tomorrow, and Bush was yanked from power by his dopey ape ears. What would the Black Angels draw on for inspiration? Would their messages remain gloomy, or would it be the beginning of a more hopeful era? “I think that the songs that we sing are the truth and I think the truth is kind of dark, no matter what, “ says Bland. “When you start to uncover the truth, it’s not a very happy subject. As long as we keep singing about the truth our songs will continue to be dark.” The truth is always dark? Not so, Mr. Bland. The truth is the light! Sure, sometimes it’s like the house lights at the end of a night at the bar when you’re blotto with a butter-face on your arm. But it’s what you make of it bucko, and where you choose to look! The Black Angels play Oct. 21st in Seattle,WA, Oct. 22nd in Vancovuer, BC, Oct. 30th in Toronto, Oct. 31st in Montreal, PQ. n

When you start to uncover the truth, it’s not a very happy subject

Who gives a offuck? With Darren Rademaker, the Tyde

W

hat album is currently in your Stereo? The Nice Boys, Untitled. They’re from Portland. The album just came out. It’s kinda glam, ‘70s power pop, but they’re a new band, and really good. I saw them play twice last week and I felt like I was at the Starwood watching the Clique or something. What book are you currently reading or have most recently read? Anthony Bourdain, Cook’s Tour. He has a show on the Travel channel called No Reservations, and it’s about cooking, but he takes drugs a lot, and it’s pretty crazy. He takes Ayahusca, down in South America. From those Burroughs and Ginsberg books that I read a long time ago, that stuff scares the hell out of me. I don’t want to turn into a snake.

What was the last movie you watched? Big Wednesday. I’d seen it when I was a kid, and I read the novel, but it was before I lived or surfed in Malibu. It’s really good. I’m trying to write a song right now called “Jan Michael Vincent”, cause there’s always a guy around who is kinda like the Jan Michael Vincent. (You mean, blessed with everything but destined to fuck it all up?) Exactly. Name one album, movie or book you consistently recommend to friends. Scott 4, by Scott Walker. For 25 years now, I’ve been a Scott Walker fan. Ever since Julian Cope put out a compilation called The Godlike Genius of Scott Walker. When I first put it on, when I was about 18 years old or something, I thought, this is like Frank Sinatra music. Next listen, I was like, wait a minute… I kinda judge people on that. I’ll play Scott Walker and if they say, “It’s like old people’s music,” I just say, “Forget You.” You have to see that there’s something else there. Plus he’s the best singer. Ever. We played with Brian Jonestown last night in Hollywood, and Anton was DJing beforehand off his i-Pod, and he played a bunch of Felt songs, and he played a bunch of Scott Walker songs, and I thought, this is the proper intro music for a band, instead of the kind of rock that we’re gonna be playing. Name one album, movie or book you would recommend to an enemy? Kid A, by Radiohead. I wanna say Jeff Buckley’s Grace, but that’s mean, cause he’s dead. What is a recent guilty pleasure? “Stars are Blind” by Paris Hilton. It’s such a good song. I like all that pop stuff, especially when you’re expecting it to be really, really horrible. What is your biggest pet peeve?

People who don’t know how to order in a restaurant. I just can’t stand going to dinner with anyone that’s obnoxious, or wants something extra, or doesn’t want this, or wants to annoy their server every possible chance they can get, and not even realize they’re being kind of an asshole. I just hate it. Name one bad habit you are extremely proud of? Smoking cigarettes. I resisted most of my life, and then I never started smoking till a few years ago. If you could hang out with any one person throughout history who would it be? Miki Doia. There’s a book about him that just came out. He’s a legend in Malibu. People are always saying, “I know him, I knew him,” whatever. He was basically this crazy son of immigrants who lived in Hollywood, surfed in Malibu, and fought people. He’d get invited to a party, steal everybody’s wallets and then travel across Europe on a bad Diners card, writing bad cheques, wore a suit jacket and surfer shorts. And he didn’t look like a blond haired, normal surfer. He looked like a Greek guy. A real nutcase. What is one thing you want to get done before you die? Achieve a full Hang Ten for more than 10 seconds. Five I can do, but I can’t do 10. I’m fighting against age and time, but it’s still do-able. n

The Nerve October 2006 Page 17


OCTOBER 12

DOORS 8:00PM SHOW 9:00PM

OCTOBER 18

DOORS 7:00PM SHOW 8:00PM

OCTOBER 24

CROATIAN CULTURAL CENTRE TICKETS ALSO AT ZULU AND SCRATCH

ALL AGES

TICKETS ALSO AT SCRAPE

SATURDAY DECEMBER 2

TICKETS ALSO AT SCRAPE, ZULU, AND SCRATCH

SATURDAY 2 PACIFIC DECEMBER COLISEUM

DOORS 6PM SHOW 7PM

PACIFIC COLISEUM

RICHARD’S ON RICHARDS

RICHARD’S ON RICHARDS

NOVEMBER 4

OCTOBER 22

NOVEMBER 14

DOORS 9:00PM, SHOW 10:00PM

WITH GUESTS

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

THE TYDE Sun Arise

TICKETS ALSO AT ZULU, SCRATCH, AND RED CAT

RICHARD’S ON RICHARDS

TICKETS ALSO AT ZULU AND SCRATCH

ALL AGES

RICHARD’S ON RICHARDS

NOVEMBER 10

TICKETS ALSO AT ZULU, SCRATCH, AND SCRAPE

CROATIAN CULTURAL CENTRE

TICKETS ALSO AT SCRAPE COMMODORE BALLROOM

DECEMBER 4 MTS CENTRE WINNIPEG

DECEMBER 6 PENGROWTH SADDLEDOME CALGARY

DECEMBER 7

NOVEMBER 29

REXALL PLACE

ORPHEUM THEATRE

EDMONTON

Limit 8 tickets per person. All dates, acts and ticket prices are subject to change without notice. All tickets are subject to applicable service fees.

OCTOBER 11

BOB DYLAN PACIFIC COLISEUM

OCTOBER 17

ELECTRIC SIX RICHARD’S ON RICHARDS

OCTOBER 17 & 18

GOV’T MULE & DONAVON FRANKENREITER COMMODORE BALLROOM

OCTOBER 21

GOMEZ

THE CENTRE FOR PERFORMING ARTS

OCTOBER 22

GREG KEELOR & THE SADIES COMMODORE BALLROOM

OCTOBER 24

SLOAN COMMODORE BALLROOM

The Nerve October 2006 Page 18

n


CONTENTS

The

Detroit Cobras Don’t Look in the Basement!

C

overing a song is hard, especially if it’s a really good one. And if you’re going to do it, you sure as fuck better not screw it up. That’s the part some bands don’t seem to get. In the right hands, that classic song about a trashy motel love affair or the one about a sleepy marriage gone wrong can be reworked into a glorious little gem worth spending six hours on eBay trying to outbid some dude in Tallahassee for. But… if a bunch of assholes end up highjacking the piece, well - forget it. Once they’re done, it will have as much rhythm as Janet Jackson’s face on speed. Having your favourite song hacked apart by another band is serious stuff. It’s pretty much like being nine and having your mom accidentally run over your foot with the family station wagon.You never really bounce back from that. But wait! Calm that worried brow, there is light at the end of this cautionary tale. Done right, a cover can rival some of the better things in life. It’s like discovering that the 20 bucks you left in your back pocket somehow made it through the wash and you can eat after all. Actually, it might be even better than that. And if it is, chances are the Detroit Cobras are the ones doing it. Since forming in 1995, the Cobras have celebrated the heartache, charisma and feel-good times of ‘60s soul and Motown by reworking “forgotten” songs through their own whiskey-drenched rock’n’roll sensibilities. The Detroit band has built a solid reputation on their ability to find those golden B-side rarities that lie in crumpled record sleeves at the bottom of dusty crates in forgotten flea markets, or disappear from ex-lovers’ rooms while they sleep. It’s a reputation also partly built on the infamy of frontwoman and founding member, Rachel Nagy. Rachel’s story is one framed in lipstick-stained cigarette butts and whiskey-induced personality crises - the usual rock’n’roll bad-girl bullshit.You’ve heard it all before. It’s just the typical stuff any crowd whispers about when a band walks on stage an hour late. And although debauchery is usually the shiny penny of any cover story, I think that this worn out rock’n’roll tale should be left to the likes of Tommy Lee and his entourage of inflatable breasts. Besides, there is a much better story to tell; the one about the woman behind the smoky vocals. I had the pleasure of speaking with Nagy over the phone and discovered a funny, charismatic and completely unapologetic woman who, beyond the whole playin’ in a kick-ass band thing, really just wants to make weird hand-shaped ceramic ashtrays for her friends, and maybe rework a Slayer song into a chunk of killer r’n’b one day. Oh, and on occasion, she’d like to lock a few people up in her basement. Let me explain… It’s Monday morning and Nagy is on the phone from the dirty, industrial wonderland that is Detroit. After a stint in San Diego involving Sea World, fireworks and a houseboat, she’s back in the ghetto where she’s most comfortable. “It’s kind of a sickness,” she laughs, about her strong attachment to the Motor City. “There’s just so much nice, dirty inspiration here…” And fade out… my head is suddenly crammed-full with the long list of legendary Detroit bands that would undoubtedly agree with Nagy on this point… Focus. Focus. I can’t. I’m talking to someone who has first-hand accounts of Detroit’s musical history. I swear it’s only a moment before I totally loose it and blurt out, “So, you know the Gories right?” Jesus. Somehow I hold it together long enough to ask Nagy what it’s like for the Cobras playing in Detroit nowadays. I’m interested to know if the local scene has dramatically changed from the early ‘90s when

they were just startin’ out? She assures me that its still the same cast of characters and like any scene, people go away and then come back, bands disband and then reform with new names. From the sounds of it, Nagy doesn’t actually go out that much anymore but when she does get together with everybody, the night usually ends with the entire gang drunk off vodka-lemonade and splashin’ around in someone’s backyard swimming pool.The fade out thing happens again. I can’t help it. I’m mesmerized by the mention of everybody… and I’m trying my hardest to stop fantasizing about this rock’n’roll Detroit-all-star pool-party… there’s no way to get the Cobras, the Gories, the Dirtbombs, the Demolition Doll Rods, Mr. Andre Williams, and Iggy all into a swimming pool. Or is there? Ok. I’m getting my teenagerock’n’roll-fantasy-montages under control, I promise. There’s still so much more to cover with Nagy, starting with October 4th, the first date on the Cobras six-week North American tour in support of their upcoming album, which Nagy tells me is already done and just waiting to be mastered.You can tell by the way she talks about the new record that she’s pretty pleased with how it’s turned out so far. It’s the same concept as always; a collection of “unsung” oldies held together by the Cobras classic good-style and “we’re here to get you laid”-charm. “We try to make records that have some continuity to them,” Nagy explains. “Whether you’re cleaning your kitchen or fucking your boyfriend, the last thing you wanna do is have to change the next song cause it’s breakin’ up the mood.” Something everyone should appreciate. And for those of you hankering for something along the lines of “Hot Dog,” well, you’ll just have to stick to the Styrofoam lunchmeat section of your local Safeway because the Cobras aren’t offering it up. Ok. So I know some of you are still scratching your heads trying to figure out who the fuck the Detroit Cobras even are, let alone why I’m babbling about ground up donkey-pig-horse shoved in a tube, so I’ll help you out a little... After working so hard to establish their credibility as “just a cover band,” and spending years fending off brilliant questions about when they would finally “progress” and start writing their own material, which is clearly the intention of a COVER BAND, the Cobras wrote an original entitled “Hot Dog.” Now that it’s been done, and done pretty damn well I might add (hear for yourself, it’s on their last album, Baby), I ask Nagy if the band feels even more pressure to come up with originals. “Fuck no,” she interrupts. “There’s never pressure on us. We do the fuck what we want,” she laughs. And with that, you get a picture, my favourite type of picture - colourful and crammed with four-letter words, of what the Cobras are all about. “It’s never been a goal of ours [to write originals],” Nagy continues. “If it happens naturally, okay, but it has to match up with what we’re doing.” And what they’re doing right now is trying to smooth out a new lineup for their upcoming tour and get a handle on what Nagy calls “the curse of the Cobra.”

There’s never pressure on us. We do the fuck what we want

PHOTO: HEATHER MACDONALD

By Jenny Charlesworth

Give her a couple drinks and she’ll hump anything in sight This is where the basement comes in. “It’s a real pain in the ass,” says Nagy of the constant lineup changes. “Whenever we seem to get things perfect someone decides to leave the band.” Nagy and guitarist Mary Ramirez are the only constant members in the band. Herein lies the curse, which most recently took its toll on the Cobras with the loss of their drummer’s manhood… Um…ah… I mean… with the loss of their drummer - He left to go and play with Kid Rock (you can understand my confusion). In an attempt to make things right, he did at least leave them with a little parting gift: another drummer who plays just like him and, according to Rachel, pretty much even looks like the same. So it sounds like a couple beers in, nobody will even notice the change. Not even the Cobras. But something you will notice is the lack of Reigning Sound rock’n’roll-hero-to-all Greg Cartwright on this tour. After a stint moonlightin’ as a Cobra on several records and tours, the man is taking a break… Sob… from the upcoming tour at least. Tony, the Cobras’ current bassist, will move over to take Cartwright’s place on guitar, leaving room for Carol, the bass player from the Reigning Sound, to take his spot on bass, rounding out the Cobras with some new talent and… Sigh… a little tiny bit of Reigning Sound after all. It all works – at least for the time being. But Nagy warns me that she may have to

start filing people down into the basement just to keep it that way. “That’s it! I told Mar, ‘We’ll get some food and water dishes set up and some chains if we have to,’ No one’s going anywhere.” While she’s at it, I tell Nagy she best be buying some extra chains for King Khan & BBQ, the retardedly-good Canadian band (actually, its more of a one-man-band with a crazy-awesome-maniac spazzin’ out next to him really) that will be opening for the Cobras on the entire tour. These are two characters that you need in the basement for sure. So when its said and done and Rachel’s gone on to the next phone interview, I’m left kicking my goddamn stereo tryin’ to make sense of this interview as it rumbles out of my tape player like sloweddown-methadone-style garbled noise. One last kick of desperation and I hear Rachel’s voice comin’ loud and clear out of the speaker. It’s the end of our conversation and I’ve just asked Rachel what she thinks, are the Detroit Cobras “a live band who occasionally make records or a studio band that occasionally play live.” Ggggrrrabbble. The tape slows back down again to distorted nothingness. Fuck. I can’t make out a word. So I guess you’re going to have to find that one out for yourself when the Detroit Cobras play Vancouver with King Khan & BBQ at Richards on Richards Monday, October 16th… or else buy me a tape player that actually works. n

The Nerve October 2006 Page 19

n


CONTENTS

The Matches

By Derek Bolen

PHOTO: CINDY BELGIUM

I

Never stand downwind of the Bukkake Film School

t takes a pretty fucking good band to get me out of bed at 8 a.m. for an interview. It takes a REALLY fucking good band to get me out of bed at 8 a.m. so Mack and I can try and wrap our heads around international dialing, so I can speak to the band in question, as they are currently in Britian on tour with label mates Motion City Soundtrack and current video darlings OK Go. Luckily, Oakland’s the Matches are a worthy band. After proving they were capable of penning the finest pop-punk songs known to man on their 2004 Epitaph debut E.Von Dahl Killed the Locals, the band is poised to take the spotlight with their new-wave tinged release Decomposer, featuring production from some of the biggest players in punk music (Tim Armstrong, Blink-182’s Mark Hoppus, Goldfinger’s John Feldman, 311’s Nick Hexum). “This was our first album written on tour,” says frontman Shawn Harris, speaking to The Nerve on the eve of the tour kickoff from the U.K. “Our first album was us in our basements and bedrooms pining over plans to get out of our hometown, so I think the album sounds a lot more travel-inspired or ‘gypsy-like’. There’s a schizophrenic-movement feel to the album. It was a new experience for us, being displaced all the time.” The band elected to carry the same philosophy

over to the recording of the album. “We tried to keep the recording process as scattered as the writing process,” Harris explains. “We felt that would serve the songs better.” The band subsequently ended up using a total of nine different producers spread over the 13 tracks on the album. Asked if they felt that the varying production styles might distract listeners from the music itself, Shawn replies, “I think a big reason that a lot of people are downloading the music these days is because there’s so many records where there’s two or three tracks that are really awesome and then half an album worth of songs that the label pushed for, or the producer really wanted, that don’t showcase the band so well. We had about 30 songs we’d written and a list of producers we really wanted to work with, so we let them pick the songs that they felt were the best songs and took it from there.” The strategy paid off for the band, as the finished product is 13 ridiculously catchy tracks, any of which could stand alone as a single. Look for the Matches to bring their energetic live show to Canada sometime in late fall, assuming they can find time between writing new music, mentoring bands in the Bay Area, throwing their own L3 (Live, Loud and Local) shows, and bracing for the explosion in popularity that will no doubt result as word of the masterpiece that is Decomposer spreads. n

Gatsby’s American Dream W By Herman Menervemanana

ith the kind of grand perversity more suited to French noblemen prior to the Terror, Gatsby’s American Dream decided to pull the plug on touring about 30 seconds before the release of its fifth (and best) album last month. This kind of willful stupidity deserves our admiration and respect, and not just because Gatsby’s American Dream has actually followed through on its famously contemptuous attitude toward the music industry. No, even better still – the emotionally exhausted band decided to pull out of Warped Tour 06, when they realized they were averaging 300 shows a year already. The decision must have sent the folks at Fearless Records scrambling for the defibrillators, and if you’ll pardon my grin, that’s got to be just about the punkest thing I’ve heard in quite some time, if you measure punk in terms of the number of pre-pubescent Mohawks you see at Pacific Centre these days, divided by the number of record label types it takes to screw in a lightbulb. “I doubt they’re happy about it,” says vocalist Nic Newsham, about Fearless, “but I think our sanity is more important than record sales. From what I understand, talking to other bands and stuff, we have a pretty typical label/band relationship where we don’t really see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. I think that’s normal.”

It’s tempting to dwell on Gatsby’s habitual baiting of the music industry – a position that few bands seem to have the marbles to take anymore – but it’s also the stuff of every Gatsby’s interview out there already. That and the punk-prog quintet’s equally contrary position on choruses (they don’t have much time for them). So let’s allow Newsham to sound off on one of the big questions in life: like, why does everything suck these days? He replies, “Pop music - some of it, right now – has a lot more integrity than punk bands that are coming up, or a band like Avenged Sevenfold or Aiden. That’s our underground music? That’s more contrived and more copycat than anything you’ll hear the Black Eyed Peas doing. I hear Black Eyed Peas, and I’m like, dude, they’re pushing the boundaries. Whether you think it’s great or it’s retarded, they’re pushing the envelope. Then you look at the punk scene… What does the ‘punk scene’, quote-unquote, have to say about music today? They’re doing the same three chord fucking bullshit songs they’ve always been doing. We have a music scene right now where these bands all listen to each other, and it’s incestuous, and the by-product is like a retarded kid. I mean, fuck your sister, you get a retarded kid.You listen to all these bands you tour

T

he Cancer Bats ain’t nothing to fuck with and these rodents should truly be fingered as Canada’s hardest touring band. Yeah, we’ve payed lip service to these guys before but after a sweaty summer of punk/metal mulch, the Bats deserve a firm handshake from the UCB team. The four-piece recently completed a series

The Nerve October 2006 Page 20

with, and you’re going to shit out another mediocre record that sounds exactly like all the same shit.” Well said, sir. As born musical adventurists, Newsham and Co. are just as likely to bring up Elliott Smith, Coldplay, and Daft Punk as they are Propagandhi or Lagwagon. This is vital, kiddies. The protoplasm breaks down otherwise, and that’s why bassist Kirk

Huffman has the word “Because” tattooed behind his ear, in tribute to one of the finest moments in the Beatles catalogue. “That’s the shit,” announces Newsham, and he’s right. It’s why Gatsby’s American Dream is a band apart in these days of full spectrum mall punk dominance. n

s e u l B n a i d a n a Upper C

Music notes from in, out and around Toronto, ON

The Cancer Bats

By Cameron Gordon

It’s Freshman day at BFS! Batter up!

of gigs with Alexisonfire, sorta celebrating the American release of their fab Birthing the Giant disc. After spending most of 2006 on the road, the band is going to celebrate with… more gigs! Check the Internet for details… Punk relics the Viletones recently played a short set in the basement of the Drake Hotel, as the band continues to make inroads with the modern-day, Queen Street sect.

Alongside original vocalist/loudmouth Steve “Nazi Dog” Leckie, this reconstituted version of the band includes ex-members of Change of Heart, Blue Rodeo and the Battered Wives. They apparently rocked reasonably hard and with a decent degree of danger so accordingly, more gigs may or may not be scheduled soon. Possibly by the time you read this, things will have changed… Remember Edwin, the swishy fratboy-cum grunge singer? Well, he’s back with some new material, albeit with less fanfare than his previous two albums or that tripe he used to put out with I Mother Earth. The dreaded “maturity” tag has already been slapped on Better Days, his new solo disc that’s dropping in early October. The lead single “Right Here” has already charted on Much More Music. All acoustic guitars and tasteful piano, the track is absolutely… actually, we’ll stop right there as I honestly wouldn’t want to feel the wrath of Ed’s rippling biceps. So yeah, he’s good at what he does… Folk weirdo Edgar Breau is also back for a spat of late ’06 action. The ex-Simply Saucer frontman recently opened a pair of shows for the

Sadies at the Horseshoe and he is looking to put finishing touches on his upcoming Patches of Blue disc. Samples on his MySpace page are actually exceedingly straightforward so I’ll pass on making the obligatory Syd Barrett reference. RIP BTW… If all goes accordingly to plan, we’ll have some new material from space rockers the Mean Red Spiders. With the band taking a slight break from parenthood and stuff of that nature, they recently rocked alongside the Flaming Lips, Gnarls Barkley and others at the massive Virgin Festival in mid-September. A new long player is rumoured by year’s end, according to “the web” (a clever pun based on the band’s name). Their last full-length was 2000’s Stars and Sons… And finally, Hooch, the singer/guitarist from rockabilly sensations the Matadors recently had his fave guitar lifted. The 1962 Fender Jazzmaster guitar was cased in a large rectangular case and is much loved. Hopefully, this “axe” is returned by now but if not, we axe you to return it ASAP if you know its whereabouts. Please contact Kerry Goulding @ Stereo Dynamite with details. n


CONTENTS MUSIC

reviews Live26

Bob Log III, Blowfly, Hugh Phukovsky / DragonForce, Horse the Band, All That Remains / Hot Loins, Basketball, the Mutators / Th’ Legendary Shack Shakers, the Grange / Of Montreal, Panurge / The Matadors, the Creepshow, Slickjacks

Album22

+/-, Alternate Action/Marching Orders, The Black Angels, The Blow, Bonnie Prince Billy, Geisha Girls, Goatwhore, Gosling, The Grates, Heartless Bastards, Heavens, Horse the Band, Iron Maisen, Isis, Jones Bones, Lamb of God, Los Straitjackets, Meatdraw, The Mind Controls, Mirah, Jason Molina, Motorhead, Nina Nastasia, Parkway Drive, Planes Mistaken for Stars, The Rezurex, Rifu, Sheglank’d Shoulders, Sparta, Strike Anywhere, Suffocation, Sugarcult, Tacoma Redd, The Rapture, These Arms Are Snakes, White Demons, Wovenhand, Xiu Xiu,Yo La Tengo

dvd25 Flogging Molly brings the live experience right into you living room, and so does Zakk Wylde - but only one gets wasted and then denies giving your little brother a reacharound

Book31

Freaks, fire-eaters, vaginal plate-spinners, pretend millionaires, and eating out of a garbage can. Apparently, somebody has finally written Damsgaard’s biography.

games32

NHL ‘07 - the 14th installment of EA’s popular series, including the Burtuzzi-less Canucks patch

The Nerve October 2006 Page 21


CONTENTS +/Let’s Build A Fire Absolutely Kosher Versus guitarist James Baluyut originally formed +/- (plus/minus) as a venue for his own songwriting. However, the side project quickly developed into a fully functional band in its own right as they went from near obscurity to being signed by Absolutely Kosher, earning kudos from CNN’s Anderson Cooper along the way. As much as Baluyut’s rawk instincts try to kick in, it’s in the sparser moments of indie rock with electronic touches that +/- exerts its real power. For example, the opening title track intrigues from the start due to its scratchy, old-timey sounding light jazz intro, but the overwhelming guitars and cheap synth horns that kick in later bluntly disappoint that early promise. The only track that really peaks well is “Steal The Blueprints,” with its drum machine trance beat and distorted bass. Luckily, most of the album is more contemplative and hypnotic than that, so its pretty solid overall. That said, despite Cooper’s prediction they’re going to blow up, I’d be surprised if they graduated to a bigger label than the one they’re currently on. - Filmore Mescalito Holmes Alternate Action/Marching Orders 7” split Longshot You can’t keep a good man down, and when the Lancasters folded, lead growler Greg Huff, formed Alternate Action faster then you can say Oi! Oi! Oi! If anything, the new band is even tighter and more infectious then the aforementioned Lancasters. The two songs here are stripped down and simple but loaded with hooks. Alternate Action features local troublemaker Tobias Chobotuck on guitar. Not only can he play the damned instrument, but he plays it well. Whoever would have guessed? Even if you’re not of the boots ‘n’ braces set, give Alternate Action a chance. Sadly, I didn’t get a chance to listen to Marching Orders. Yes, I suck. - Chris Walter The Black Angels Passover Light In the Attic This album makes me want to suck back a pillowcase full of dope, strip down to my tits and nuts, spill out my pureed brain, spread it on my body like war paint, light my apartment on fire, and dance with my dick out like a crazy fucking Apache! The Black Angels mix fumes of Spacemen 3 and Velvet Underground together with occasional whiffs of the Doors and Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit” to create high-grade, fuzzed-out, bluesy, psychedelia. Heavy with reverb and droning keys, this shit

any sweeter. Bechtolt provides some great production, adding a much needed background for Maricich’s conversational singing and occasional lovelorn lyrics. Like an indier M.I.A./ Diplo combo, the Blow employ a conventional pop song writing approach while tossing into the mix a barrage of killer military-style drum rolls, deep synth beats and fetching melodies that will stick like gum in your brain’s synapses. Assuredly recommended for those not shy of the dance-floor: who needs the blow when the Blow will throw-down? -Adam Simpkins Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy The Letting Go Drag City Will Oldham is one of the great workhorses of rock’n’roll who greets almost every year with something of notable quality. After an album with Matt Sweeney (ex-Chavez) and a live album with Tortoise, he is finally releasing The Letting Go, the first proper Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy album since 2003. While it continues in the warm and melodic vein of the highly praised Master and Everyone, he has upped the variety of instrumentation significantly. Orchestration, subtle electronics, twin-guitars and a rhythm section led by the masterful Jim White add significant depth to Oldham’s

otherwise stripped-down songs. Also, the female accompaniment echoing Oldham’s voice throughout this album turns songs like the electronically laced “Lay and Love” and the eight-minute closer, “I Called You Back,” into some of his most hauntingly beautiful. The Letting Go is by far one of Oldham’s most ambitious and challenging records, proving the old boy has still got it. - BRock Thiessen The Casualties Under Attack Side One Dummy The Casualties are back with yet another collection of fast ‘n’ furious punk rock songs. No experimentation or variation from the formula for these boys, just your basic punk rock noise. Actually, the recording and production is better than it was on the earlier stuff and they have a few good riffs this time around. I wonder if the Casualties take themselves seriously, or is this all a big joke to them? I’m not sure if I get it… - Chris Walter

will envelope you like the black throbbing womb of a woman who’s done dealings with the devil. Unlike most psychedelic creations however, the lyrics here don’t come across as some schmuck just rambling out of his mind on chemicals. The Black Angels aren’t just a bunch of burnouts. Given that the band’s home state (Texas) has the second highest military recruitment rate, it’s no wonder Alex Maas’ lyrics are heavy with ominous war imagery. His vocal style and substance will surely set more phantoms of dissent loose in your skull. - Devon Cody

D.O.A. Bloodied but Unbowed Sudden Death Is there anyone out there who doesn’t own the first three D.O.A albums? Those records are as essential to a good record collection as tartar sauce is to fish sticks. Bloodied but Unbowed is a collection of songs from those classic albums so if you’re uber lame, you can just buy this instead of ordering the first three albums from Joe. Remember, this was when hardcore meant extreme punk rock, not a bunch of jocks spin kicking each other to pseudo metal.You should own Triumph of the Ignoroids, Something Better Change, and Hardcore ’81, but if you’re too cheap to buy those then at least get Bloodied but Unbowed. Buy it now or I’ll give you a spin kick in the head. - Chris Walter

The Blow Paper Television K Formerly a solo-project for Portland-based, multi-talent Khaela Maricich, the Blow is now semi-officially a two-piece, with the addition of long-time collaborator/producer Jona Bechtolt (Y.A.C.H.T.) and the results of this strictly-business marriage couldn’t be

Geisha Girls s/t No. 3 The Geisha Girls cite New Model Army, the Flesh Eaters, and Flipper as influences, but I get more of a Gang of Four vibe from them, but with that guy from the Cure singing. This style of punk or new wave was never my cup of ale, but I’ll give them props for originality and for

not following the well-beaten path. The songs are jangly and melodic and not without appeal. I hate the Cure, but I’ll try not to hold it against the Geisha Girls. Excuse me now while I play some Germs. - Chris Walter

of which having few redeeming qualities or character. Despite a couple of semi-likeable

Goatwhore A Haunting Curse Metal Blade Goatwhore is a band universally loved by the metal masses, which forces me to ask myself, “Have I lost touch with Satan these days?” Don’t get me wrong; if I saw these goat prostitutes opening for a band I’d sit, have a

singles (“19-20-20” and “Trampoline”), the Grates debut is best left alone to sit in the corner and think about what it’s done. - Adam Simpkins Heartless Bastards All This Time Fat Possum Over the past few years, Fat Possum’s been varying its roster somewhat. Seeing as how

drink and dig on the evil that spews from their cocks like fountains of death. But they really don’t do anything for me on record, because Goatwhore is really not much more than a technically proficient Venom ie. A polishedup and modernized turd. Kill me and rape my dead ass all you want you dirty corpse make-up fans of this brand of thrash/black metal, but really, this is a better-produced Goatwhore, and that’s it. Nothing jumps out as original, or different from past releases. Ball blasting double kicks and fuzz crunch guitars surrounded by shitting murder vocals don’t do it for me, but it might do it for you nechrophiliac basement dwellers. I guess A Haunting Curse is good for what it is, but not good for what it could be. - David Von Bentley Gosling Here Is… V2 Guitarist and front man Davey Ingersoll spends most of Here Is switching back and forth between John Lennon and George Harrison style vocals with a touch of Supergrass mixed in, which is a pretty standard way to go. But, unlike the millions of other Lennon wannabe

types, Ingersoll’s lyrics are actually quite solid, dealing with the grim imperfections of the human condition. These words combined with Gosling’s innate understanding of its musical influences – from the Beatles combined to indie rock – make this debut a rousing success. - Filmore Mescalito Holmes

several of their bread-and-butter blues artists have taken to pushing daisies, it seems as good a time as any to diversify. Heartless Bastards isn’t the kind of band you’d expect out of Fat Possum. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, provided you aren’t expecting the brand of mutant blues that Fat Possum built its reputation on. All This Time (their second album with the label) is likeably simple, yet textured and intelligent; all in all, a very difficult album to dislike. Vocalist Erika Wennerstrom has pipes that rival those of 4 Non Blondes’ Linda Perry with more melody and a hint of the gritty sass of Patti Smith. This one’s sure to be a hit with the hairy-pitted rock-broads on Commercial Drive. - Devon Cody Heavens Patent Pending Epitaph Man, wouldn’t it be awesome if Matt Skiba decided to take some time off from Alkaline Trio? Yeah, he should form a band with one of the dudes from F-Minus. What would that sound like? How about a cross between Interpol and the Killers? No, dude, be serious! I am serious. That would be, like, totally gnarly! Like that harebrained wish from the dipshit kid in Big, I’m assuming that this is how Heavens was born. In a way, I want to hate this album just because it seems so contrived. Matt Skiba belongs in a smoky bar sneering at exgirlfriends and stubbing out cigarettes into the arms of passersby, but damned if he doesn’t look hot and sullen in that black turtleneck! Patent Pending actually works because it’s dark and gloomy, but in a more oblique manner than Alkaline Trio could ever successfully pull off. Now if only Paul Banks decided to move to Chicago, that would be something. - Adam Simpkins

is a song on here called “Crippled by Pizza (Pizzarrhea in the Pizzaria)”, which I think is the greatest thing ever. They also cover the TNMT theme at the end, which is the first time I have ever fallen out of my chair for any reason besides being drunk. This means that you should probably buy this. - Simon Illrote Iron Maiden A Matter of Life and Death Sanctuary Sadly I have to report that Iron Maiden mascot Eddy committed suicide on September 12th, 2006 - the same day, ironically, that Maiden’s 14th studio album A Matter of Life and Death was released. Authorities haven’t released his full suicide note to the public yet, but have confirmed that Eddie’s demise is due to, quote, “The shittiness/wretched vomit of a record Iron Maiden keeps releasing over and over again since reuniting with Bruce Dickinson in 1998.” Portions of the note that have been released to the press strongly suggest Eddy had become “agitated” at the length of Maiden’s songs, which currently tend to exceed 10 minutes. He also calls the band “Old pieces of shit who can only start a song with Steve Harris’s bass quietly building up because none of the other members care about making, or writing a song for a dinosaur old-man band controlled by the dick sucking bass player.” Eddy was 666 years old and is survived by his only child, golf pro Tiger Woods. - David Von Bentley Isis In the Absence of Truth Ipecac This is what I fucking needed my friends; a trip of a record. With the 2002 release Oceanic, I felt as though I was sailing the vast Ocean when I was transfixed and listening. Then 2004’s Panopticon felt like I was flying over the ocean going nowhere and just taking in everything that came into my mind’s eye. And now with this record it feels like I’m below the surface slowly sinking into the depths of what is the heart of the ocean. I just read what I wrote and even I’m thinking – ‘this guy is fucked up’ - but this is what I feel (and I’m sober). Feeling anything is rare these days, but if you’re going to get into this, be prepared for the long haul, kids. Songs like “Garden of Light” and “Not in Rivers, But in Drops” transition from incredibly heavy to moodoriented in such a way that you can only fixate on the music and nothing else. That’s why Isis is one of the best, my friends. Buy this and you also support Ipecac Records, so double-bonus. - David Von Bentley Jones Bones s/t Independent Local rockers bring their metal mayhem to your living room with this self-produced CD. They paid a homeless bum 25 cents to write the lyrics for them, and I figure they got a pretty good deal. You can hear beer bottles clinking in the background, so it is not hard to guess where they find inspiration. I think this would make a great soundtrack for the next Beavis and Butt-Head movie. Got a problem with that? Fuck you! - Chris Walter Lamb of God Sacrament Epic Sure, you can hear the Pantera, Slayer, and old school Metallica in their songs, but so fucking

ALBUM

The Nerve October 2006 Page 22

The Grates Gravity Won’t Get You High Interscope When I was in high school, the only cool person that played in band was my friend Trevor. He went on to play drums in some band called Treble Charger, while the rest of them are probably teaching middle-aged women piano scales for $15 an hour. Anyway, Australia’s Grates remind me of those obnoxious band dweebs: the kids that found Veruca Salt to be equally relevant as L7 and currently contest that Karen O is the heart and soul of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Phooey! Gravity Won’t Get You High is an overproduced, jarring collection of half-baked songs – all

Horse the Band Pizza E.P. Koch A conceptual EP inspired by the universal ubiquity of pizza. Genius. This band dropped off a tour because they ate pizza in Chicago, and decided to record this because it was the best pizza they have ever had. They describe their sound as “Nintendocore”, and this is achieved by the use of a Korg MS200 synthesizer. Every song on this disc is about pizza, and the vinyl version is going to come out in a pizza box. That’s fucking rad. There

what? After touring for years in vans, eating ramen noodles, and creating brutal metal that can literally make your bones explode,


d

,

MUSICCONTENTS REVIEWS Lamb of God is now a fully fledged arena metal band. Sacrament has gone beyond what Lamb has done in the past; “Walk With Me in Hell” could be black metal and “Descending” relies on a blues metal, riff-driven sound. The strongest improvement in the band has to be Randy Blythe’s vocals which have taken on far more range, but he also pulls off the Phil Anselmo scream/sing thing just about as good as the aforementioned master. Salute the new Kings of Metal folks; Lamb of God deserves it. - David Von Bentley

Sultan (BBQ), Ysael Pepin (Demon’s Claw), and the Duke (the Confusers). It took ‘em less than a month to record this album after they formed. Two months later, and they were on the road. This debut is 20 minutes long and that right there should tell anyone with an uncontrolled mind that the Mind Controls gets it 100% right. The fact that it reminds me of the Angry Samoans doesn’t hurt either. I feel an album of the year-type statement coming on. - Adrian Mack

Los Straitjackets Twist Party Yep Roc Better known for their instrumental surfrock, Los Straitjacket’s latest party platter focuses more on full-on kitsch with sixteen ‘50s-style dance jams bringing some serious rug-cutting into your living room. From the straightforward “Twist Party” and “Domino Twist” to the more bizarre “Hypno-Twist” and “Kitty Kat”, all bases are covered – and for all you goofball spazzes out there with two left clubbed feet, the album comes with an accompanying DVD complete with stepby-step instructions from the World Famous Pontani Sisters. And while some of this material sounds like it could have pulled from a Dr. Demento compilation, the quality of songs is actually at quite a high standard, all things considered, proving again that Los Straitjackets may be playing in the wrong century but still proficient at getting hips swivelling and rumps shaking. - Adam Simpkins

Mirah Joyride: remixes K Taking the summer off for clam-digging and running through various sprinklers across the lawns of Olympia, Mirah (Yom Tov Zeitlyn) decided to let the local (and some out-oftowner) kids come around to do some work for her: remixing two-disc’s worth of material from her back catalogue! It must have been a pretty enticing offer, since more than 20 musicians showed up to tweak these classic Mirah songs. Guy Sigsworth does one of the better revamps with the ethereal “La Familia” and Shawn Parke gives the originally dirge-like “Nobody Has to Stay” some street credit with some old-school beats and scratches. While some mixes, like the aforementioned, are actually quite impressive, the majority of the album sounds like nothing more than a bunch of friends getting together and remixing just for the sake of it. A fun little project indeed, but may not be of much interest to anyone outside of the Mirah fan/friend circle. - Adam Simpkins

The Mahones Take No Prisoners Stumble Haven’t the Mahones been around for a hundred billion years? Sounds kinda like Sandinista-era Clash with Celtic undertones. It’s easy to hear the Pogues and Clash influences (mostly Pogues), but with all the rough edges smoothed over. I’ll be honest; it’s a bit too commercial for my tastes. Give me ‘ol snaggletooth any day. - Chris Walter The Matches Decomposer Epitaph Damn, I’m not sure which genre to place this band in and they don’t even give me a press release? Now I’m on my own with no neat little pigeonhole to make things simple. Honestly, I don’t know how to describe the Matches. How about quirky, psychotic circus music with pop leanings? They remind me a bit of a modern day XTC, more than a bit actually. I’m not sure if I’m down with Decomposer or not but the Matches are definitely doing their own thing, and this is different than anything I’ve heard from Epitaph in some time. Even if it’s not for me, I’m going to give this the thumbs up for originality and musicianship. More research is required. - Chris Walter Meatdraw s/t Self Righteous Fans of tromp-along dirges with a murder ballad feel will eat up the first track “The Devil In Our Bones”. However, it’s deceiving since there isn’t another track that matches the same stumbling whisky-soaked doom for rest of the album - which is a shame, because the song is a real fucking gem. The closest they get is maybe the final song “Kissin’ Town” but that’s a stretch. It has the same haunted plodding quality, but with a certain pop tinge. It’s this mutant poppiness that seeps into many of the songs here, making the aforementioned track seem a little out of place. Also standing in contrast are the odd (in both senses of the word) stomp-and-holler oompah hoedowns to light a fire in your colon when you’d least expect it. Occasionally the album brings to mind something you might hear at a gypsy camp in the Balkans, but more often I’m reminded of a rootsier Flaming Lips, or portions of The Violent Femmes’ Hallowed Ground, albeit - if you can imagine - a little weirder. And that’s a very good thing. - Devon Cody

Jason Molina Let Me Go, Let Me Go, Let Me Go Secretly Canadian Jason Molina has once again taken a break from Magnolia Electric Co./Songs:Ohia to record an album that drags listeners further into depression rather than pull them out. Like he did two summers ago with his Pyramid Electric Co. project, Let Me Go finds Molina experimenting with his song-craft, but this time to much more satisfying ends. The album spends its 35 minutes revolving around the central theme of depression and how we humans struggle with the evils it brings. Be assured that this is a far stretch from Magnolia Electric Co.’s down-home rock and falls under a much more sinister category of Americana. Molina’s simple use of his guitar and voice sets a dark stage for what is one of his eeriest and also strongest albums to date. Oh, and for CD buyers, you can only buy this one on vinyl, but Molina put a nice CD version in there for you as well. - BRock Thiessen Motörhead Kiss of Death Sanctuary The fact that Lemmy Kilmister gets loads of

will deliver something mean, lean, and totally oblivious to trends. Kiss of Death could quite possibly be its best album since the early ‘80s. One listen to the lyrics of “Devil I Know” is proof that at 61, Lemmy could still kick your ass and fuck your mom. Yes, ol’ wart-face is horny and ornery as ever. - Devon Cody Nina Nastasia On Leaving FatCat Hauntingly evocative New York singersongwriter Nina Nastasia’s debut for FatCat is her fourth full-length album. The only information you really need to know is that Steve Albini “engineered” On Leaving as well as its three predecessors, so you know she’s the real deal. Granted, she doesn’t much change the minimal folk formula used throughout her career thus far, but why fix it if it ain’t broken? Nick Drake wasn’t as moving with a full band behind him, and Nina’s fragility would likely be lost there too. It’s all about her. - Filmore Mescalito Holmes

little irritating. Singer and primary songwriter Daniel deLeon’s flat and flaccid vocals clash horribly with the music. Imagine the monotone moan of Shawn Stern from Youth Brigade backed by reverb-heavy, plucky guitar licks, clickity bass, and surprisingly inventive drumming. The biggest problems Rezurex face is in its lame vocals and stale songwriting. It’s no wonder that only three-fourths of the lineup have an impressive resume. - Devon Cody

know, they’ve all got that crisp n’ clean “Fat Wreck Sound”, which was getting tired back in ’96 – let alone 2006. Even the artwork for these bands is looking suspiciously similar to each other. I get the branding idea… really, I do. But this label is getting dangerously close to losing any semblance of credibility or relevance. Wouldn’t it be more worthwhile releasing a definitive guide to Wizo or something? Just sayin’. - Adam Simpkins

Rifu Bombs for Food, Mines for Freedom Go-Kart I don’t know what the technical term for this is, but it sounds like post-hardcore screamo to me. The music is heavy, well performed, and

Suffocation Suffocation Relapse Suffocation is a lot like Rodney Dangerfield: neither of ‘em get any respect and they both had parts in Caddyshack. Actually they both just don’t get respect. I confused Suffocation with Chevy Chase (a common mistake). You see, in the world of death metal, Suffocation has been around for years and really helped create the modern death metal sound. But very few motherfuckers know them or care to get their records, while bands like Deicide and Cannibal Corpse prosper (as much as any death metal band can prosper). But Suffocation smashes skulls and takes names. Furthermore, it’s rare that a death metal band is as melodic as this, while simultaneously blasting your

Parkway Drive Killing with a Smile Epitaph Growly-voiced deathmetal/core/whatever from Australia. I know this style of music is very popular nowadays but I’d rather drink

intense, but the lyrics hurt my ears and make them bleed. Not in the same way that Robert Plant hurts my ears but in a way that is nearly as painful. In some songs, they have TWO guys screaming away and now I know what hell must truly be like. Hmm…maybe Rifu want to inflict pain upon the listener. Indeed, Bomb for Food, Mines for Freedom is like some sort of sadistic experiment gone horribly awry. - Chris Walter

Drano than listen to this for another second. Whatever happened to Epitaph, anyway? Didn’t the Humpers used to be on Epitaph? I guess they didn’t make enough money for the label. Fuck me, this sucks. - Chris Walter Planes Mistaken For Stars Mercy Abacus The follow-up to 2004’s amazing Up In Them Guts, featuring production courtesy of Matt Bayles, and the band’s first release for Abacus. The fact that this sounds so dramatically different than anything else Matt Bayles has produced truly shows his talents, as the band’s gritty, dirty, getting-the-shit-kicked-out-ofyou-by-drunken-rednecks-in-a-ditch sound is captured perfectly. In spite of this band’s progression over the years, one word always describes them perfectly: unpolished. That is a good thing. I’m kind of amused every time a PMFS release comes out, because when I first heard them, I was told they were emo, before the term was co-opted by legions of crybabies who thought that high-school was the only acceptable song topic ever. Back then, the term was still used to describe the posthardcore stylings of bands like Fugazi. Moody, emotional music with meaning. That’s how I’d describe this, except these guys seem to get a little more evil with each release. You just can’t go wrong when the title of the first song is “One Fucked Pony”. - Simon Illrote

Sheglank’d Shoulders Endless Grind Handsome Dan Ah, yes, Sheglank’d Shoulders is speedy, skatepunk played with attitude and zeal. My girlfriend pointed out that guitar player Dan not only runs the label, but is also in another band called the Motherfuckers. For me, Sheglank’d Shoulders works better than the Motherfuckers and the songs are catchier, harder to forget. With song titles like “Too Twanked to Skate” and “King of Hangovers,” how can you go wrong? Even works for us posers who can’t skate. - Chris Walter Sparta Threes Hollywood After the demise of At The Drive-In, the hype machine that had latched itself on to Sparta took a shit and died with the release of its disappointing debut Wiretap Scars in 2002. To make matters worse, the Mars Volta subsequently released a masterpiece, with De-loused in the Comatorium. But Sparta just moved forward, building a steady underground fan base and releasing a critically hailed followup called Porcelain in 2004. Now with little or no expectations from the media, and with the Mars Volta currently losing their charm, Sparta can now finally sit back and release music in comfort. This is where Threes comes in. A combination of influences ranging without apology from U2, to the Cure, the Smiths, and even a bit of Jeff Buckley, Three isn’t quite cock-spitting great, but it is boner-lubing satisfying. With 2002 long behind us, good is finally good enough. - David Von Bentley

pressure points with a sonic assault shaped like a pick axe (ref. Misconceived). My favorite thing about Suffocation is Mike Smith, simply the best d. metal drummer to pound the skins in hell today. Just listen to “Bind Torture Kill” (yes, that’s the name of the infamous BTK serial killer); Smith smashes the kit so fucking fast that it traveled back in time and was thought to be seen as a roundhouse kick witnessed by Chuck Norris in 1967. What? The point is - it’s awesome and so is a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Give Suffocation respect and keeping disrespecting Rodney Dangerfield because he’s dead and that’s what he wanted. - David Von Bentley Sugarcult Lights Out V2 Download the opening title track intro (c’mon, it’s 37 seconds long) and you’ll have about all you need on Sugarcult. With the choice of playing any kind of music they wanted to, this California quartet decided to jump on the

REVIEWS

The Mind Controls s/t Dirtnap This is casually brilliant garage punk from Mark

ass is both one of life’s greatest mysteries and possibly the biggest incentive for homely motherfuckers to start a rock band. In fact June’s issue of Maxim had him on its list of the top ten living sex legends (along with Jack Nicholson and Julio Iglesias). I’m not shitting you. A part of me wonders if it is purely out of fear that women shed their panties for him, or if, in spite of realizing how fucking ugly he was, Lemmy made it his life-long goal to prove the world wrong. Another part of me wonders if he works some kind of magic on lady love-buttons with that special appendage he has growing out of his cheek. Regardless of this mystery, there’s one thing you can always be sure of: with each new album, Motörhead

Rezurex Beyond the Grave Fiend Force I can just imagine these guys sitting around in their globs of hairspray and mascara, searching intently for a fresh new name for their debut psychobilly slab. Alas! They came up with Beyond the Grave. Blows your mind, doesn’t it? A real bunch of pioneers. You know, Chris Walter made a good point a few issues back about this genre rapidly reaching its saturation point. Rezurex stands as a glaring example. Despite top-notch musicianship from scene vets such as Jeff Roffredo (Tiger Army), Troy Russel (Nekromantix) and James Meza (Tiger Army, Nekromantix) - incestuous bastards - this album is mostly forgettable and often a

Strike Anywhere Dead FM Fat Wreck Having recently left its home at Jade Tree records, Strike Anywhere sounds like it’s fitting in quite comfortably at Fat Wreck. With this three-years-in-the-making, 30-minute outing of melodic hardcore that rarely strays from the norm (a little screamy, some whoaoh harmonies, a mini-anthem here, a catchy sing-a-long there), the band is right on course with the rest of its team members under the umbrella of Fat Mike and co, but despite SA’s often heartfelt, political critiques, I can’t even tell any of these bands apart anymore. You

aging pop-punk bandwagon just when it was fashionable. That’s just what the world needed in 2001 and it’s just what it needs now [note: sarcasm]. Well into their career, Lights Out being the third studio album, Sugarcult and their aging, lame-ass producer Tom Lord-Alge keep making the same songs with the same sound and the same emo lyrics that every 27-year-olds-still-living-with-their-parents band has made since Blink 182 first delivered watered down radio punk to the masses. Will this fad never die? - Filmore Mescalito Holmes

The Nerve October 2006 Page 23


WORST CD OF THE MONTH CONTENTS Tacoma Redd A Momentary Misfortune Independent Regarding Tacoma Redd, Sugarcain Entertainment says, “This band is one to watch, I bet they paint the town redd!” Daunted by such inventive accolades for a wildly unoriginal band, I’m going to have to resort to simply stating: Tacoma Redd sucks a big drippy dick! You can quote me on that. Go pollute pop rock radio and get the fuck out of my stereo. - Devon Cody The Rapture Pieces of The People We Love Universal Motown With Pieces of The People We Love, the Rapture have made a good enough record to avoid the fate of the sophomore slump, but, in the process, they have taken some serious risks that will likely turn off many listeners. While this record will still please those looking for a soundtrack to fuel nights of white lines and rump shakin,’ it’s unlikely to appeal to fans of a rock persuasion. It’s obvious from the overly clean and almost plastic sound that new producers Danger Mouse, Paul Epworth (Bloc Party), and Ewan Pearson don’t know as much

about rock’n’roll as the band’s old production team, DFA. Any of the gritty or challenging qualities that existed previously in the Rapture are nowhere to be seen on Pieces. These Motown recording artists have opted for the safe bet of high sales with a fun disco record instead of exploring something with a bit more depth and substance.

- BRock Thiessen These Arms Are Snakes Easter Jade Tree This band is another shining example of just how incestuous the Seattle music scene is. Comprised mostly of former members of

Kill Sadie, and the bass player from Botch, TAAS continues on its second full-length to create music that is hard to classify. Botch, by the way, were one of the first bands in the hardcore scene to show that it was cool to know how to play your instruments, something that fans of bands like the Dillinger Escape Plan should be grateful for. TAAS’ is similar in spirit, although stylistically it is rooted more in punk and post-hardcore than metal, but still math-core. Featuring the keyboards more prominently this time around, I’d definitely say this band’s sound is more refined, and this record is far more consistent than the last, which was a respectable effort if a little uneven. - Simon Illrote Towers of London Blood, Sweat, & Towers TVT This glam/pop/metal outfit isn’t quite as bad as the cover art and photos with extra fromage led me to believe. If I was a teenage girl, I’d be creaming my panties and driving my parents insane by blasting Blood, Sweat, & Towers loudly. Sadly, I’m a jaded old punk rocker who mostly skips wearing underwear altogether. Has anyone out there heard of a punk/new wave act from the ‘80s called the Depressions? That’s who these guys remind me of, complete

with macho lyrics and requisite sneers. Aw, I’ve heard much worse and this wasn’t meant for me, anyway. Blood, Sweat, & Towers is meant for the little girls. Mmmm…panties…. - Chris Walter White Demons Say So Sonic Swirl It says in the promo package that White Demons include AC/CD, the Cult, Rose Tattoo, Alice Cooper, Dead Boy, Johnny Thunders, and Cheap Trick as influences, but the AC/DC influence is by far the strongest. Singer Nick K. comes across as a Bon Scott wannabee, and it’s hard to get around that at first. Actually, Say So isn’t too bad as far as commercial hard rock goes, but it’s not as hard-hitting as say, Kill Cheerleader. I see in the promo pic that the bass player is wearing a Damned T-shirt. Funny how the rock set has assimilated punk culture for themselves… - Chris Walter

years back. Since then Edwards lost himself in the bleak backwoods of southern gothic and fortunately never really found his way out of them. In a similar fashion to Current 93, a creepy mix of quavering vocals, haunted church organs, and pagan percussion challenges the comfort zone throughout the album. Try going Mosaic alone at some lonely farmhouse somewhere if you want to challenge yourself. It’ll be a bit scary but you’ll come out a stronger person in the end. - BRock Thiessen Xiu Xiu Air Force 5RC Being a long-term Xiu Xiu fan is like watching the hit-by-train matches on YouTube: at first you feel pretty sick, but after the fifth or sixth clip the nausea just kind of passes. Not a whole

Wovenhand Mosaic Sounds Familyre The next time life gets all High Fidelity on you, try filing your records into these two categories: those fit for collective listening and those best consumed alone. Then when you’re looking for all the miserable, alone-time records like Wovenhand’s Mosaic you won’t get so lost. The man behind this goth-country outfit, David Eugene Edwards, started the

lot has changed by the fifth or sixth video – or in the case of Xiu Xiu the fifth or sixth album – but the initial shock value is just gone. In either case, it’s unhealthy and unfortunate. The sounds on Air Force lie close to Kiu Xiu’s last two records, Fabulous Muscles and La Forêt, but it’s just not so outrageous anymore. Yes, Jamie Stewart still shouts and then whispers and then shouts again about suicide, rape, sex and other nasty things, but it’s tamer and more accessible now. This quite listenable Xiu Xiu isn’t so bad, but you wonder if things wouldn’t improve if it was a bit more challenging. - BRock Thiessen

project when his old band, 16 Horsepower, decided to pack things in permanently a few

LABEL SPOTLIGHT Back in 1995, Flying Saucer head-honcho Mick Nitro was taken on an interplanetary rendezvous with a bunch of little green men who had an acquired affection for psychobilly music from recent trips to Europe and Britain. Via anal probe, they implanted the idea into his brain that psychobilly needed an outlet here in Canada; that he should start up a label and a band and take to spreading the psychobilly gospel like they were spreading his pasty little bum cheeks. Despite burying the experience deep in the wreckage of his psyche, Nitro followed through with the plan. He and his band, the Deadcats, recorded their debut album Bucket O’ Love and released it on Flying Saucer Records. It took hard-nosed journalism and several shots of Wild Turkey to coax this story out of Nitro. Catch him when he’s sober and he’ll insist it was simply

V/A Go-Kart vs The Corporate Giant 4 Go-Kart

Billy Lee Riley’s “Flyin’ Saucer Rock ‘n’ Roll” recordings that served as inspiration. But we all know which is the more believable story now, don’t we? Flying Saucer has since expanded into distribution and an online shop (www. flyingsaucerrecords.com). Just last year they released six new albums and they have two more due out before the end of the year. Given the fact that they released the Alley Dukes’ debut of raunchy rockabilly, one’s inclined to assume that the label does most of its talent scouting in seedy sex shops and bars where the blowjobs come just as cheap as the beer. Nitro gives us a little insight on his scouting process… ”A band without morals or one that revels in debauchery and cleavage-shots, like the Alley Dukes, does stand the best shot of being signed by Flying Saucer. However, they must sound as fuckin’ good as the Alley Dukes. To be honest, I basically go with gut instinct. When I first listened to the Zombie Night In Canada CD, the Dukes’ song was the one which really stood out as having that ‘cool’ rockabilly sound. Then I met

What we have here is a compilation of various Go-Kart bands, from indie rockers and pop punkers to dirgey metal (Transmission0). For the most part, the material here, though a bit on the commercial side for my tastes, is not hard on the eardrums. It bumps along pleasantly enough until towards the end, where it seems that they tacked on a few bands they’re about to drop. The CD ended and I was still hungry, but it could’ve been worse. Say, weren’t the Lunachicks on Go-Kart? I loved the Lunachicks. Whatever happened to them? - Chris Walter Yo La Tengo I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass Matador The last two Yo La Tengo albums, And Then Nothing… and Summer Sun, caused quite the little debate. Fans either applauded the more sophisticated and mellow direction or condemned it, saying the band was best when they just made rock songs. Now Yo La Tengo is trying to please everyone with I Am Not Afraid Of You…, by taking slices from its entire 20-year career instead of relying on a singular focus or sound. For 78 minutes the band piles on a bit of everything: lengthy guitar epics, 3-minute pop songs, teary ballads

and even a brilliant Prince imitation on the utterly catchy “Mr. Tough”. Although this wide collage of styles may be hard to digest in one sitting, surprisingly little filler infects the album. Overall, this plays like one big piece of Yo La Tengo nostalgia that will likely go down as one of the band’s best. - BRock Thiessen

the guys at Café Chaos in Montreal and Danny Duke told me the Dutch label their CD was going to come out on had just gone bankrupt. So I felt sorry for those sweet French-Canadian les rockabillies and offered them a 10-album deal. Tabernac!” Keep your eyes peeled for the upcoming compilation The Sick Ones,Volume 1 due out on Flying Saucer January or February 2007, featuring bands from all over the world, including some of Canada and Europe’s finest. To tide you over until then, pick up the freshly released Bloodshot Bill album. It’s a real doozy; sure to give label best-sellers the Alley Dukes a run for their money - who, by the way, are talking with Nitro about releasing their follow-up with Flying Saucer sometime next year. Sounds like another busy year coming up for a guy who had this to say about the burgeoning label: “I don’t know if we’re gonna expand much more than we already have. I want my life back!” Blame it all on the little green men, Mick. Blame it all on the little green men. - Devon Cody

The Nerve October 2006 Page 24 n


TH

n

CONTENTS

DVD REVIEWS

Black Label Society The European Invasion Doom Troopin’ Live Artemis Before I rip this DVD a new one I have to ask why anything filmed in Europe has a certain dull look to it. Ever noticed that? We probably can’t blame Mr. Wylde and the rest of the Black Label family for choosing to employ decommissioned Nazi video technology for their little tour film, but the chronic excess of bare ass exposing, binge-drinking, and guitar solo-oriented footage is most definitely all their fault. Not that a real Black Label fan won’t get his money’s worth from the two DVDs of

material here. The first disc starts with 16 tracks recorded live at the Elysee Montmartre in Paris, with a bonus four songs tacked on from the Astoria in London. Those four songs are performed exactly the same way in Paris, meaning there’s no point to the add-on, but it’s all redeemed by footage of Zakk Wylde busting out the shit-sounding classical guitar and doing what he does best: covering songs Randy Rhodes wrote (Wylde rips out the intro to “Diary of a Madman”). Regrettably, most of the Paris set is composed of newer BLS material, none of which compares to its Sonic Brew-era stuff. I mean, what happened to “Low Down” or “Bored to Tears”? Meanwhile, BLS concerts are exciting if you’re there, but watching it at home – sober – can be really tedious. On disc two you get a featurette with all the wacky, crazy backstage antics we’ve come to expect: like Zakk Wylde drinking, Zakk Wylde talking about kicking people’s asses, and surprise! - Zakk Wylde jamming out solos for half of the program’s 50 minutes.You also get three of the worst music videos ever made, and a behind the scenes feature about one of them (“Suicide Messiah”). All the backstage/ making-of stuff made me pretty uncomfortable, frankly, as it emerges that these guys are hopeless drunks with a mind-numbingly relentless line in the kind of homoerotic bullshit typical to wasted jocks. As such, I can’t say that it was exactly enjoyable watching all of this for nearly three and a half hours, but I suppose if you’re into Wylde’s cock posture solos, his slow-motion whiskey suicide act, or the fact the he behaves like it’s Tough Guy Tuesday all week long, then allow me to recommend this visual enema. Cheers. - David Von Bentley

Flogging Molly Whisky On A Sunday Side One Dummy Fucking Metallica. All it took was one group of whiny, over-the-hill rock stars to release a documentary and the floodgates opened. Now, it seems pretty much any band with at least one fulllength album in the bag feels compelled to make a film documenting their stunning rise to the top, and how well-versed they are in rock cliches. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with Flogging Molly’s brand of Celtic punk, they all seem like amicable enough people, and their live show is about as high-energy as they come. But the only people who are going to buy a two disc Flogging Molly DVD/DVD soundtrack (featuring, of course, live and acoustic versions of songs you’ve already heard) are Flogging Molly fans who already

know they want it and don’t give two shits what I have to write, rendering this entire review an exercise in futility, unless you count the fact I get a gigantic erection every time I see my name in print. ARE YOU PEOPLE EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!?! - Derek “Erection” Bolen Cobweb Society Nickels & Dimes DVD Rel Pictures I always cringe a little when someone I know hands me a computer disc. After all, how could a DIY project actually be any good? Just kidding, and in fact this DVD was much better than I expected it would be. Professionally recorded and produced, Nickels and Dimes was filmed within puking distance of Carnegie Centre on Vancouver’s scenic Downtown Eastside. The video deals with weighty subject matters but is done with plenty of black humour. Hmmm…why does that sound familiar? I don’t know what Cobweb Society is going to do with this video, but it’ll be a shame if more people don’t get to see it. The music, a decent punk/rock hybrid, is hard-hitting, catchy, and energetic. Oh, and the shot with Jay in the dumpster is priceless. - Chris Walter

The Nerve October 2006 Page 25


CONTENTS

LIVE MUSIC REVIEWS

DragonForce / Horse the Band / All That Remains Croatian Cultural Centre,Vancouver, BC Tuesday, September 12th, 2006 Every one who couldn’t get into the sold out show wanted it. Every fan at the Croatian Culture Centre needed it. I was there and I was giddy for the old

though. DragonForce has shown me the way. People can no longer make fun of DragonForce for being drunk geeks who sing about dragons and fantasy while playing a style that was all but dead about 10 years ago. No one will even mock the keytar or the fact that there is a keyboard solo over six minutes long. Herman Lee’s knee length hair is safe from ridicule forever. The reason that this band is now untouchable is because they took a freight train of rock and roll, packed it to the tits with TNT and guitar solos, loaded in some double bass kick, ninja kicks, manly poses and then they drove that fucking train right into the goddamn face of every person at the show. There were two moshpits, I sweated right through my clothes just standing, I SAW TITS, holy goddamn fuck – DragonForce, thank you. Thank you. - Dale DeRuiter

Th’ Legendary Shack Shakers

Hot Loins / Basketball / The Mutators The Lamplighter,Vancouver, BC Thursday, September 21st, 2006 I’m starting to get the feeling that the people at The Nerve don’t really like me. Adrian Mack is a nice guy and a good writer, but he’s started to give me little things to talk about in my reviews so that I don’t just sit there rambling on and on and on and on. Also, I don’t think he likes my over usage of the word “Jewish”. That’s ok. So, Mr. Mack - here are some fun facts about Hot Loins: They are signed to Sound Document and make a little bit of cash here and there. They came up with the name in San Diego, where apparently, everyone has hot or at least warm loins. Their new 7” is teal in color and is being released by the Broadway to Boundary record label and finally, Sean the keyboardist is a pretty cool guy and has a passion for Suicidal Tendencies style caps. Now that all the boring crap is out of the way, I’ll just review the show. I got to the Lamp - which is a venue I love - at around 12am on Thursday. I guess that would be technically Friday morning but who cares? Thank god

PHOTOS: Dale deruiter

DragonForce

fashioned power metal kick in the puckered asshole I was about to recieve. DragonForce played on Sept 12 to the biggest crowd that I have ever seen crammed into the CCC. If over a 1000 good people of Vancouver are willing to all cram in to that box you know something good is happening. The whole scene is pretty hard to explain. It was so good I am finding it hard to put it into proper English that isn’t just expletives for three days. I can easily say this though, Dragon Force with Horse the Band and All That Remains at the CCC on September 12th is the best show I have been to EVER. That’s right I said it: EVER you motherfuckers. You know when you hear old people talk about pivotal shows they had been to and everyone knows exactly the shows they are talking about, like they all have old guy ESP or some weird fogey hive mind. Scary shit! Like, they say, “Oh man, I saw the Stones in New York at some shit club on this random date.” And then all these other people say, “Holy shit, you were at that show… Amazing.” Up untill now this never made sense to me because I always thought a show was a show, some are good most are bad and the odd one is great but over all they fade with the relentless barrage of age. I have seen the truth now,

The Nerve October 2006 Page 26

I showed up just it time to miss all of Basketball’s set with the exception of their last song. These guys sound like Raking Bombs. Oh what? They are Raking Bombs? That’s why they sounded so terrible. Take a music class guys, please.You are not a band. Next up were the Mutators. I spent most of the time watching the Much Music videos that were being played by the stage, pretending that Nelly Furtado was singing the Mutators’ terrible songs. When did Nelly become such a slut? “Maneater”? The Mutators were slightly more tolerable then Baseball or whatever they were called. And then they were done. After a few more videos, Hot Loins, the best name in music today, got on stage and well - fuck. I’ve never had to write a bad review before and was moving along quite nicely until now. The guilt is sinking in. The whole show sucked. Hot Loins was the best though. The singer was too drunk and seemed to be faking his enthusiastic jerks. Sorry Sean. I do like your cap though. I guess the best thing about noise rock/experimental music is that they never play long sets. I feel like a real dickhead right now. Jewish! - Waltergeist.

PHOTO: DEVON CODY

Bob Log III / Blowfly / Hugh Phukovsky Richard’s on Richards,Vancouver, BC Wednesday, September 13th This was the show of shows in my world. The only thing missing was a circus tent. It started with Hugh Phuckovsky breaking into “Islands in the Stream” by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, with Phuckovsky portraying both sides of the coin. Good for a laugh and a site to behold. Sadly, the crowd didn’t quite take to his Neil Hamburger-esque sense of humour, and for the rest of his set, Phuckovsky was pelted with lemon slices and heckles. Maybe he was just too funny for this crowd? Blowfly turned the vibe from frustrated aggravation into a party on the fuck ‘n’ suck train. The Godfather of dirty rap was in full glory tonight, leading his legion of porno freak minded folk down the road of sexual innuendo. Dirty song after dirty song, the crowd was on its toes for more. He raps, he’s funky and - thanx to his new disc - he’s punky too. One true highlight was watching a guy at the front of the stage stuff a 20 dollar bill into Blowfly’s pants like he was stripping for him or something. He brings out the dirty side in everyone. Truly, there’s only one way to cap an evening like this, and that’s to put your boob in my scotch – and that is precisely what Bob Log III did. This one man machine came out in full force; right foot rockin’ the bass drum, left foot rockin’ the cymbal and drum machine, and two hands on his bitch - aka guitar – slidin’ up and down without hesitation. This human wrecking ball picked up the pieces of Blowfly and skewered them all into a blues filled oblivion. The boobs and scotch flowed as cousin ‘couver showed Bob as good a time as he showed us. - Plow

Th’ Legendary Shack Shakers / The Grange Media Club,Vancouver, BC Sunday, Sept. 17th, 2006 While the Grange didn’t come close to matching the balls-out intensity of the headliners, they definitely caught the audience’s attention, starting their set with an a cappella gospel number that gave frontman Beard a chance to showcase his soulful honky-tonk wail (yes, his name’s Beard. How fucking awesome is that?!) Drawing from the ghosts of Hank Williams and Townes Van Zandt, his voice is convincing enough for us to believe that, despite his baby-face, ol’ Beard’s lived hard, or at least done his homework on hard livin’. Highlight of their set? A two-minute slide mandolin solo that made my liver quiver. Almost as awesome Beard’s name. As for the Shack Shakers, you know a guy’s got some kind of gift when he can shower an audience with hearty snot rockets, spit, and fistfuls of his pubic hair, and not only get away with it without getting beaten up, but have the audience revel in it. Personally, I’m pretty sure I caught a spattering of his nose juice in my left eye and there’s a chance I may have breathed in a stray pube or two as they fluttered in the air. And I’m a little concerned that I may have contracted herpes after he shoved a spit-slathered microphone in my face to sing along to “Pinetree Boogie”. However after all of this, I still walked away from the show all shits and giggles, resolute in the opinion that Th’ Legendary Shack Shakers are the best goddamned live band Vancouver’s hosted this year. Now I’ve heard criticisms that the Shack Shakers’ onstage antics lack subtlety; that they are childish and tasteless. But for fucksakes people, this is rock ‘n’ roll! Sniveling about that shit is about as ridiculous as wearing a Celine Dion shirt to a Slayer concert. I’ve even heard people say that the Shack Shakers music is too noisy, too weird. Well, tonight was proof that Robert Plant didn’t invite these guys to tour with him because he’s old and senile. These fuckers can play. At a whopping 90-odd pounds, J.D. Wilkes has mammoth stage presence and can blow a blues harp like a fucking hurricane, guitarist David Lee plays licks so fierce they’ll take your teeth out, and Mark Robertson and Brett Whitacre create a rhythm that will beat you like a pimp. Considering the superb musicianship and bestial showmanship, I can’t fathom how any self-respecting fan of rock ‘n’ roll could have left this show dissatisfied. - Devon Cody

LIVE

Of Montreal / Panurge The Plaza,Vancouver, BC Friday, September 1st, 2006 Back in the day, most indie bands made it a rule to shy away from the egotistic posturing that thrives in corporate rock. Then somewhere down the line, it suddenly became cool again for bands to act like total rock stars when they’re on stage. As Vancouverites witnessed at a packed Of Montreal concert, we’re probably better off without this revival of pompous showmanship. Of Montreal’s lead singer, Kevin Barnes, clumsily tried to give Vancouver a dramatic entrance they would never forget. He bounded onto the stage covered in layers of glittery eye make-up and wrapped in a fancy red cape. In full-blown dramaqueen mode, he quickly tossed off the garment revealing his first of three ensembles for the

evening: a slutty miniskirt, knee high boots and a red puffy shirt, which looked like the one Seinfeld got suckered into wearing. The sound guy then turned on the drum machine and the band proceeded to try to wow a motionless audience with a set of upbeat pop entirely from their last two efforts, Satanic Panic in the Attic and The Sunlandic Twins, along with a few from their upcoming album. It wasn’t so much the music Of Montreal played that was the problem but more the cheap antics used by Barnes and co. when delivering it. There was the old stick-the-guitar-between-your-legs-soit-looks-like-a-man’s-thingy move, the customary self-asphyxiation-with-the-mic-cord maneuver, and even the please-entertain-yourself-while-our-singerruns-backstage-to-do-a-costume-change technique. People expect such flamboyance from Elton John but surely not from Of Montreal. Overall, the band’s shameless flirting with many of the old cliché rock tricks failed to impress and ultimately turned their live show into one big gimmick. Also, local openers Panurge didn’t really improve the night by sounding like a campus bar house band, circa 1995. This was not the type of rock ’n’ roll I originally signed up for. - BRock Thiessen Matadors / Creepshow / Slickjacks Pat’s Pub,Vancouver, BC Saturday, Sept 16th, 2006 Just the mention of horrorbilly is enough to infuriate rockabilly purists and I can see why. Souped up and stripped down, horrorbilly is an updated and modern version of the old standard. Many species of extinct creatures probably felt a similar fear when confronted by sleeker, faster versions of themselves. The Matadors, the undisputed kings of this bold, new music, took the stage at Pat’s Pub Saturday night and really gave the traditionalists something to worry about. The Matadors’ talking skeleton promised the audience that they were about to witness the “greatest rock band in history” and truly, the bag o’ bones was not so far off. The band blasted into the set, and judging from the funny looks bassist Creepin’ Jeff kept giving him, singer/guitarist Hooch might want to cut back from nine shots of Jagermeister to eight. Still, a couple of flubbed lines in no way detracted from the fury and power of the show. Clearly, though, the Matadors do not take themselves seriously and seem much more concerned about having fun than putting on a technically perfect show. Creepin’ Jeff is never still for a second and spends half the time in the pit with his skull-sportin’ stand up bass. Next time the Matadors blow through town, don’t miss out. At first, I was tempted to write female fronted Creepshow off as another Horrorpops clone band, but the personality and charm of the singer soon won me over. As hard as it might be to warm up for the mighty Matadors, the Creepshow bring it to the stage with verve and passion. Even a host of technical difficulties did not keep them from putting on a colourful, explosive show. Off to the side, Hooch from the Matadors played guitar, looking as if the tour was finally starting to catch up with him. Remember Hooch: eight shots of Jager! Sadly, we missed the Slickjacks who must have allowed the promoter to force them on stage too damn early. By all accounts, this is a band to watch for. - Chris Walter

A

B


PHOTO: DEVON CODY

CONTENTS

In the early 80’s there was a lot for the kids to be angry about... Like poor bladder control for instance.

American Hardcore ...It’s no European Softcore By Michael Mann

S

ometimes when punks grow up they go on to do things other than collecting welfare cheques and bitching about how much better it was back in the day. Take Paul Rachman and Steven Blush for example, who made a movie about how much better it was back in the day. The two met in the Washington hardcore scene in the early 1980s— Blush was a promoter who booked bands like Bad Brains and Rachman was a director who made music videos for bands like Bad Brains. The two chose to prolong adolescence by having pretty successful careers in music and film. Blush grew up to become a music writer for magazines as well as the author of American Hardcore: A Tribal History (Feral House). Rachman grew up to direct music videos for bands like Alice in Chains, Temple of the Dog and Pantera as well as the founding the Slamdance film festival. When the two got talking in 2001 they decided to make a film that is inspired by Blush’s book. American Hardcore shows how Regean-era America inspired a generation of suburban punks to pick up guitars, get in vans and spread their angry gospel. In typical fashion, the film consists of archival footage, motion graphics, and the talking wrinkly heads of every hardcore punker you can think of (Joey Shithead, Henry Rollins and Joey Shithead) and a few you might not suspect (Moby and Matthew Barney). The film debuted at Sundance, screened at the Toronto International Film Festival and is now getting a theatrical release. A pretty remarkable feat for a movie about music from the suburbs that’s shot on digital video. Nerve: Why didn’t you have narrator in your film? Because you essentially let talking heads narrate the film. Paul Rachman:Very important not to have a narrator. This scene had no leaders. There were bands that were more important than others but nobody was there directing people. For me, it was very important in this film that the story be told in their own words from the people who created the story. The film ended up with this very authentic passion because of it. Nerve: Why in 2006 should people care about

hardcore punk from the 1980s? Paul Rachman: Look at 2006. Look at 1980. We very clearly start the film with what it was like in 1980. It was a pretty ugly time. It really was a time to scream loudly. I hope people walk out of this and go “huh, why aren’t we like that anymore?” We didn’t make the film to end 25 years later in any kind of precision. We got into Sundance in November 2005 and we hadn’t finished the film. But there is a subversive message in the film. Look at where we were then. Then walk out of the movie onto the street and look at where we are now. That’s the important message. Hopefully people can just realize that on their own. We never went in to talking about today. Everything is about the past. Nerve: Do you think West Coast punk gets the respect it deserves?

from the ultimate Americana, which is the suburbs. I believe this music arose from the Southern Californian suburbs because it was the ultimate in boredom and static… is that a word? Paul Rachman:Yeah. Hot desert sun and boredom. It’s revolting. Steven Blush: I think before us, there was the idea that you had to be from the city.You had to be from New York, Chicago, maybe Toronto, definitely London. But our movie is about Raleigh, North Carolina and Indianapolis, Indiana, San Diego. Places like that where this is a truly suburban American movement. It was the American way of doing punk rock. We didn’t have mohawks or safety pins in our noses. We weren’t on the dole—We didn’t even know what that meant. We created a new version of punk rock that was ours.

We didn’t have mohawks or safety pins in our noses. We weren’t on the dole. We didn’t even know what that meant. Steven Blush: My book and this film are about a music scene that started in the suburbs of Southern California…

Nerve: Have you guys seen We Jam Econo? Paul Rachman:Yeah. Steven Blush:Yeah.

Nerve:That’s what I wanted to get at. You normally think about culture starting in London, thriving in New York and then dying when it gets to LA. But hardcore almost went the other way around. Steven Blush: That is the story of hardcore. Hardcore is not about urbane artists who were part of a legacy that goes back to the Velvet Underground and Iggy and probably even before that. This is a scene that’s truly American because it comes

Nerve: Did you guys use the same footage of Mike Watt driving around in his van? Paul Rachman: No, Mike Watt just likes to be interviewed in his van. He gets interviewed a lot and it’s like, “Okay, they’re coming to my place. Here’s the routine.” It was pretty hilarious. Nerve: Do you think he does it so he can trick people into paying for gas? Steven Blush: We were thinking the same thing.

Paul Rachman: I think he wears the same shirt. Drives the same van and goes up the same street. That’s just Mike Watt. Steven Blush: I reviewed that movie for Times of London. It’s just more to feed into people to let them know what the roots of the music are. And, more importantly, what you can do with music. Paul Rachman: What’s more important was it was a movement. It wasn’t just music on tour. It was an adhered to ethic. A youth movement that had certain values, certain ethics and certain ways of doing things. It kept on spreading with those very minimal ways of doing things. It was a passion that carried forth to the next town and from that town it carried to the next town. That was how it spread. Those things don’t happen all the time. That kind of synchronicity between an artist and an audience. Nerve: Just how bitter are these guys? I mean, the only guy who seemed to have a somewhat enlightened attitude was Dave Brockie from Gwar who was said to the effect ‘I wish I was young and making a lot of money’ like everyone is now off this music we helped pioneer. Steven Blush:Yeah, they’re horribly bitter. Somebody else in the scene could have maybe made this movie, but it had to be somebody like us. They don’t trust anybody. They see what’s happened to music and they see what they’ve started. The general way music is today, we talk about when we came up how rock ‘n’ roll was some genius playing a guitar solo in an arena and you mimicked him. That’s not what music is today. Music is stage diving and slamdancing, independent labels and DIY and tour buses. Those are the legacies of hardcore. That’s not from anything else. That doesn’t come from the Clash or Rush. That comes from hardcore. That comes from Black Flag and the kids from Southern California, particularly South Bay and Orange County Paul Rachman: They might be a little bitter in economic terms.You know, you hit your 40s and you’re not as rich as that 20 year old that is doing what you did. But I guarantee you that Keith Morris, Joey Shithead and all these guys look at MTV and

continued on page 30 The Nerve October 2006 Page 27


S

F

t w p N w f jo c H w g o

MAGNETIZED PRODUCTIONS FOR MORE MAGNETIZED PRODUCTIONS INFO VISIT:

WWW.MAGNETIZEDPRODUCTIONS.COM www.myspace.com/MAGNETIZEDPRODUCTIONS

S s r A a o y t t y a d a y y o r p t

H

The Nerve October 2006 Page 28


CONTENTS

Short Ends F

all is that nice time of year in Toronto between summer, when the city smells like garbage, and winter, when all homeless people are freezing to death in their cardboard box homes. Fall is also when the Toronto International Film Festival takes place and it’s one of the hypest film festivals in North America. TIFF is basically ridiculous in every way imaginable. The whole city catches celebrity fever and on any given day you’ll see 500 people all jockeying for position out front of a Winners so they can catch a glimpse of someone famous like Perez Hilton. It’s not like Vancouver’s humble film fest, which takes place over a never-ending 17 days and is geared towards moviegoers. TIFF is nine solid days of business and for media and industry. Someone must have really been asleep at the switch in the media office because, somehow, I received media accreditation through this magazine. A media pass is like gold because it gets you into any screening you want, it costs $22 to see a film otherwise. Not to brag but I’m pretty sure I’m the youngest person to receive media accreditation for this festival. To give you an idea of how old most of the media are who are covering the festival, when you check in they give you a tote bag with some anti-wrinkle cream in it. I should also add that during 90% of the press and industry screenings I attended, someone’s cell phone went off. Seriously, you people essentially watch movies for a living and you can’t fucking remember to put your cell phone on vibrate? So always keep in mind when you’re reading film reviews in other papers that the writer probably needs anti-wrinkle cream and is too stupid to remember to turn their cell phone off. Here’s a small list of what I caught.:

Super Special Toronto International FIlm Festival Edition A Good Year Sir Ridley Scott The Plot: A heartless stock broker (Russell Crowe) inherits a winery in France. He is forced to go over there to inspect the property so he can sell it.

Black Sheep Jonathan King The Plot: New Zealand flick with animatronics effects are done by the people who did Lord of the Rings and Farscape. A sheep farmers son—who’s

The Plot: Dutch band The Ex played a show in New York. Fascinating. Should you care: Only if the idea of watching grainy super 8 footage of a Dutch band you’ve never heard of really gets you excited. The Book of Revelation Ana Kokkinos The Plot:You know how you’ll be talking about rape at a party and some asshole will try to claim that it’s possible for a man to get raped by a woman? Well this Australian movie explores that. Should you care: Tries a little too hard to be like Eyes Wide Shut. But yeah, I’m not gonna it lie, “it” twitched once or twice while I was watching this. Cashback Sean Ellis The Plot: The British Garden State. An adolescent

Differences between the English and the French are exposed. Romantic comedy ensues. Should you care: No. This was the first film I saw at TIFF and it was also the worst. Seemed to be more about product placement than anything else. Hey Sir Ridley would you please give the people what they want and make another fucking Bladerunner movie already? American Hardcore Paul Rachman The Plot: Old punks talk about punk. Should you care: Why don’t you look on the next page and decide for yourself, ugly.

afraid of sheep— returns to the farm after many years of absence. He finds that his evil brother who now runs the farm has been dabbling with genetically engineered sheep. One of the experiments gone wrong is freed by environmentalists and infects all the other sheep which turns them into rabid killers. Oh yeah, and if a human gets bitten by a sheep you turn into a gigantic killer sheep that resembles an orc Should you care: Fucking hilarious horror comedy. Why doesn’t our government fund movies like this? Building a Broken Mousetrap Jem Cohen

continued next page

The Nerve October 2006 Page 29


CONTENTS

FILM

Short Ends

Cont’

angst story about a young artist who’s having a difficult time getting over his last relationship. Adapted from an Oscar nominated short made by Ellis. Should you care: Fun little movie with some really good laughs. Do guys really get this hung up when they get dumped?

Renaissance Christian Volckman The Plot: Black and white animation that is equal parts A Scanner Darkly and Sin City. I’ve been referring to it as A Sinner Citily. Aren’t I clever? Should you care: Neat eye candy. Not much else going on here.

The Half Life of Timofey Berezin Scott Z. Burns The Plot: An employee at a Russian nuclear power plant gets blasted with radiation and tries to unload

Rescue Dawn Werner Herzog The Plot: Christian Bale crashes behind enemy lines, gets caught and plans an escape.

continued from page 27 look at these punk bands today and thank God that’s not who they are. They’re fine with that. They know better and they’re fine with who they are. They know that their legacy is a lot stronger and a lot more real. So it’s a very difficult type of bitter. It’s like, “Fuck those guys because they’re in tour buses and doing what we did and making millions of dollars. But then again, thank God I’m not that guy on MTV looking like a jerk.” Nerve: So it’s like a smug bitterness? Steven Blush: Well they’re great artists who created something and if you feel you were copied or ripped off you’re gonna have that sense of cynicism. Clown. I saw three movies with bestiality and this was the best of them. Summer ‘04 Stefan Krohmer The Plot: Mom, dad, son and jailbait girlfriend all

some weapons grade plutonium on the black market before he dies so his family has money to live off of. Enlists the help of an incompetent low-level gangster to do so. Should you care: How many movies have you seen where serious drama and screwball comedy work well together? Admittedly, watching a dude snort a rail of plutonium was pretty funny. The Last Winter Larry Fessenden The Plot: Eco-Horror starring Ron Perlman. An artic oil company team is trying to build roads so they can bring drills in and get the precious oil beneath the ice. Only global warming is making it difficult and the melted ice caps have unleashed some sort of evil spirit, which isn’t explained very well. Should you care: Eco-horror? Did I just fucking write that? Macbeth Geoffrey Wright The Plot: The guy who made Romper Stomper tries to update Macbeth into a gangster movie. Should you care: Imagine the worst movie you’ve seen that tried to update Shakespeare. Now multiply how bad that movie was by 10. Now give all the characters Australian accents.

Should you care: It’s a Werner Herzog film that stars Christian Bale and Steve Zahn. Do you really need me to tell you it’s good? S&MAN JT Petty The Plot: A documentary that explores underground horror, voyeurism, snuff and why we like to watch people die. Should you care: This film has some of the most realistic deaths you’ll ever see and it will make you feel like a real creep while you watch it. Sheitan Kim Chapiron The Plot: Some kids go out to a secluded farm in France with the hope of scoring. Satanic ritual and murder ensue. Should you care: Better build up than Hostel but the ending leaves something to be desired. Kind of like getting the world’s greatest handjob while limp.Vincent Cassel is the stand out in this one. $100 says you can’t recognize his Irreversible co-star, Monica Belucci. Shortbus John Cameron Mitchell The Plot: The risque sex comedy where Sook-Yin Lee gets jammed in 20 different positions. A guy also

Outsourced John Jeffcoat The Plot: The manger of a call centre in Seattle sees his office get moved to India. He is forced to go over there and train the new employees. Differences between Americans and Indians are exposed. Romantic comedy ensues. Should you care: Really neat idea. Too bad they had to gay it up with the feelgood humor. Pan’s Labyrinth Guillermo Del Toro The Plot: Set against the backdrop of the Spanish civil war, a little girl needs to perform mystical tasks so she can become princess of the underworld. Should you care:Yes. Best movie of the festival. Better than The Devil’s Backbone, if you can believe it. This film is an amazing amalgamation of all of Guillermo Del Toro’s previous work. In a perfect world, Pan’s Labyrinth would win an Oscar. Too bad the horror elements will turn a lot of people off.

The Nerve October 2006 Page 30

go on vacation together. Girlfriend hooks up with an older man. Mom put a stop to that and ends up hooking with the guy. Should you care: Only if you like intelligent but slow moving European arthouse. Other films of note that I slept through or was too busy drinking to see: Borat Cultural Learning of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Khazakhstan Larry Charles The Plot: Does plot really matter what I say? This shit is going to be fucking hilarious and you’re gonna go see it. Death of a President Gabriel Range The Plot: That fake documentary about George Bush’s assassination. The buzz film of the festival that won the Prize of the International Critics “for the audacity with which it distorts reality to reveal a larger truth.” For Your Consideration Christopher Guest The Plot: That guy who made Spinal Tap and Waiting for Guffman is at it again with all the same cast.

tries to suck his own dick and ejaculates all over his own face. That’s just the first five minutes. Should you care:Yes, provided you have a morbid desire to see a former Much Music VJ get jammed.

The Fountain Darren Aronofsky The Plot: The brilliant mind behind Pi ($60k budget) and Requiem for a Dream ($4 million budget) is given $35 million and Hugh Jackman to explore metaphysics.

Sleeping Dogs Lie Bobcat Goldthwait The Plot: A chick decided to blow her dog one evening. Many years later she has to deal with the fallout when the man she’s engaged to asks, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” Aside from the premise, the most shocking thing about Sleeping Dogs Lie is it’s a pretty serious relationship movie. Should you care: Awesome follow up to Shakes the

Infamous Douglas McGrath The Plot: A movie about how Truman Capote wrote In Cold Blood. I know what you’re thinking, didn’t they do this last year? Well allow me to explain the difference between this and Capote as I see it. Capote was adapted from the book In Cold Blood. Infamous is adapted from the book about the writing of In Cold Blood and has a really shitty cast. n

Nerve: Jello Biafra is conspicuous by his absence. Where was he? Steven Blush: We tried to reach to out everybody that we knew and obviously you can’t get everyone. Jello Biafra turned down our request. Glenn Danzig just blew us off.You’d have to ask them their reasons for that. Ultimately, we felt that we couldn’t cover the bands without them. [the Dead Kennedys and the Misfits] are in turmoil with new lineups touring and all that. So we had to make that call. The big point is that hardcore really isn’t about the stars. Those two bands in particular—the Dead Kennedys and the Misfits—would have been around whether or not there ever was a hardcore scene. Paul Rachman: Jello, early on, kept on changing his mind. It’s not like he flat out turned us down. He was changing his mind and it became this bullshit. At some point we were just like “fuck it.” You know, you’re either going to participate or you’re not. Frankly, it’s really obvious when you see the film that it’s his loss, not ours. This story is really clear without him. It’s better without him. We were huge fans. But like Steve said, there’s turmoil there.You get Jello, you can’t get the music.You get the music, you can’t get Jello. This film did not need that kind of luggage. Nerve: Did you guys see that video of Danzig getting knocked out? Paul Rachman: [laughs] That was great. Steven Blush: We’re Glenn Danzig fans. I’m a huge Glenn Danzig fan. Both those guys, I’ve interviewed numerous times as a journalist. So I can’t really answer why they didn’t participate. Paul Rachman: It was important for this film to talk about all the other bands. Because the movement was best represented by the unity that swept the country. It wasn’t because of one band. It was because there was a receiving end of kids in all these little towns that were open-armed to support this and spread it even further. That’s the story that’s never clearly been told. Nerve: Steven, you’re a music writer. Did Henry Rollins ruin Black Flag? Steven Blush: No, He did not. I’m a huge Black Flag fan. I liked them before Henry and I liked them with Henry. I think a lot of music-type people like to dig on him. Henry Rollins put up with so much crap as the singer of Black Flag. I could tell you, being at those shows, he’d be singing and people would sucker punch him. People would light his balls on fire and pull his legs hairs while he was singing. People have made lots of comments [about] him, but Henry Rollins is a true pioneer. He is an essential part of the hardcore story.Yes, a lot of our friends say Henry Rollins ruined Black Flag. But I saw them at least 15 times and they were a brilliant band. In the film, what we like about Henry Rollins is that he shows exactly what he was. He was the fourth singer of the band coming after Keith Morris and Chavo and Dez. He is reverent to Greg Ginn to this day even though Greg Ginn can’t stand him. He’s a great part of the story. I always defend Henry Rollins. I can’t comment on what he does now in terms of his show biz, but this is what he had to do for his career. I think this film kind of gives Henry back. To that ferocious and dangerous side he hasn’t had in like 15 years. He’s a guy to target because he puts himself out there but he was a great singer and an essential figure of the hardcore movement. n


CONTENTS

Freaks and Fire – The Underground Reinvention of Circus By J. Dee Hill Soft Skull Press I was under the impression that the circus was an animal torture show run by men with red balls on their noses and shoes that were too big. In Freaks and Fire I learned of a new circus—one that is a human torture show run by people who decided they are “performers” instead of hobo buskers. Freaks and Fire provides a description of several modern day circuses and their martyrs.Visit the Jim Rose Circus where Jim’s wife Bebe throws

pointed darts into her husband’s back and where Matt Crowley sucks up a variety of liquids through a tube in his nose, barfs them up, and has audience members willingly drink it. Read about Stix the Clown, of the Know Nothing Zircus, putting a running electric drill up his urethra and Aura Fist lifting a six-pack of beer using her labia piercings. If you’re in Manhattan, catch the Bindlestiffs where you might be lucky enough to see performer Stephanie spin plates on a pole inserted in her vagina, or watch her and her husband sew pom-poms directly onto each other’s chests, draw blood, then use it to paint each other’s faces. Also included are circuses that have a healthier style. Circus Contraption features more of a dressup, goofy aesthetic. A giant deep-sea earthworm and six-foot-tall dung beetle are commanded on stage by Lara, a Ringmistress clad in black leather. Creaking accordions, aardvarks and wagons that convert into coffins are props that decorate their stage. Freaks and Fire offers a glimpse into the land where the human anomaly finds a means of expression; where freaks find employment, and where there are no limits on imagination. The book does its best to describe the groups that made up the underground circus that spewed out of the 90’s. It tells of their gypsy lifestyle, dedication, and strange skills. It also narrates some of the misery encountered, such as living off of less than $20 a week, inspiring them to imitate the unnaturally high ticket booths of the past in hopes that people would forget their change. Tricks like that, and the romantic life-on-the-road lifestyle are what made me read on. However, having read the book, I wonder if I should have just seen the circus instead of reading about it. Or better yet, maybe I’ll run away with one... of the tamer variety. - J.Dives

Play Money: Or How I Quit My Day Job and Made Millions Trading Virtual Loot By Julian Dibbell Basic Books I first heard about this book and, subsequently, the phenomenon of its subject, when a colleague of mine suggested starting a publication for a virtual world. “What, like a webzine?” I asked. “Not exactly,” he said. MMORPGs or MMOs (Massively Multiplayer Online Roll Playing Games), for those not in-theknow, are basically huge virtual worlds (some fantasy based, some Star Wars type world sci-fi based, and some real-world based) where you can interact with other real life people via a character or “Avatar”. Imagine the SIMS, only every character is run by a real person, and you don’t get to be God. And, most importantly, what these enormous online games ultimately create is their own economy complete with currency. To cut a long idea short, one would perform activities in said “virtual reality” and acquire wealth in the game’s currency which he or she could turn around and sell for “real “ money on ebay, for example, to people who wanted virtual bucks but didn’t want to spend the time acquiring them. “What do you mean ‘Virtual World’?” I asked, somewhat suspect of my friend’s sobriety. “MMO’s dude, the matrix, where have you been?” “Uh, I’m not sure now.” And then the idea that people were making money selling nothing became quite intriguing indeed. With that, I picked up Play Money. The book is well written. Dibbell is a staff writer for Wired and his tech credentials are enough to trust he knows what he’s talking about. The book basically tackles two main questions: What is the true essence/nature of play? And the second—the real blogged experiment (juliandibbel.com) this book was spawned from: can you make a real living selling virtual goods? Dibbell wrestles with the philosophy of play throughout the book and attempts to understand it in terms MMOs. He includes a few studies in his attempt to understand what he is doing and also addresses ethical issues as well as the tax man’s roll in his new (temporary) profession. Interested in MMOs and virtual economies? Play Money has got to be the definitive place to start. Or hell, just go sign up to one of the dozens of MMOs out there and jump into the abyss with both feet.You really have “virtually” nothing to lose.

Perishable By Dirk Jamison Chicago Review Press There are some people that just should not be allowed to reproduce. A prime example is Dirk Jamison’s dad. One day, he decides that he doesn’t want to buy groceries any more. Rather, he chooses to supply his family with food scavenged from dumpsters. What’s on the menu? A half open bag of cereal that’s been pissed on and probably contains a dirty needle. Mmmmm, nutritious and fun to eat. Jamison has written this memoir without offering his opinion on his dad, leaving it up to you to tattoo moron on old bugger’s forehead. Dumb ass… I think so. But is he? Come to think of it, he could probably teach a couple of economics courses. One called “Eat Shit and Die… Dumpster Dive and Live” the other entitled “ How to fuck the Government for ski equipment and Season Passes”. Every cheapskate redneck who eats nothing but red meat and potatoes will love this guy. I forsee shrines being built across the prairie provinces. Jamison’s old man is definitely what makes the book so fantastic. The cheap fucker knows no bounds. He even goes to the extent of trying a stay-slim experiment on his wife that consists of stinging her lard ass with bees. At least he had the decency to try it out on himself first… on his wiener! Like, come on! Where the hell did this man come from? I mean for real, the genes that run through his veins must some how have been genetically engineered by some kind of uber-hippy burnout… of course, we all know hippies don’t have the brain capacity for any sort of “engineering”. This family is definitely fucked up. Wait that’s too nice… this family should be put in a freak show museum or a mental facility. We’re talking about a cancerous dog that, despite bleeding from its eyeballs, still humps everything in sight; a sister

who is a horror movie character, yet to be discovered—out to terrorize the shit out of poor Dirk like a hyperactive brat just begging for a roundhouse kick to the cunt; and, perhaps strangest of all, the mother who puts up with it all. If any of this sounds like your family, and I hope to fuckin’ god it doesn’t, you need to read this book—if only to prove to yourself that you should never have babies. As for everyone else, Perishable is a perfect example of quality comedy at other people’s expense. Read the fuckin’ book. -Heather O’Brien

In the end, Dibbell presents a complete report on his experiences in Play Money and draws some interesting conclusions. This excerpt from the press release advertises that for as low as about $2.50 you can begin your education on this phenomenon: In-game versions of Play Money designed by Second Life coder/publisher Falk Bergman are available for L$750. These copies can be signed by Dibbell at his in-Second Life interview with journalist Wagner James Au on July 27th. For the Second Life resident who needs something a bit more tactile, L$6250 buys a real-life copy of Play Money, shipped with care to the buyer’s real life address, in addition to the standard in-game version. (At the time of this press release, Linden dollars are trading at approximately L$300.00 to the US$1.00. Adjusted to US dollars, an online copy costs US$2.50, and the price of a real-life copy bought in-game is around US$20.85.) So, can you quit your day job and try to make millions selling virtual loot? From the looks of things, Julian Dibbell is already on his way. A.D. MADGRAS

The Nerve October 2006 Page 31


CONTENTS

Shreditorial: Fall Out Protest the Hippie The motley skate crue at Protest Skateboards are premiering their new video “Never Give Up” on Friday November 17 at 9:30 pm at Coastal Riders in Surrey BC ( 10310 152nd Street, off Hwy #1). There’ll be a Vancouver premiere as well, location TBA, check calstreets.com for updates. Like a modern-day A-Team run by Murdock, Protest is the brainchild of friendly sasquatch Hippie Mike Faux. Catch the stylish stylishness of Jeff Cole, charisma of Jon “J. Lee” Irvine, mathematical precision of Cisco Gooding, feminine wiles of Carrie Williams and the mystery of Brad Danyluk. Highlights include a great many tricks featuring skateboards, plus Hippie busting out his custom 2x4 deck for some kickflip roof gaps and a 10-stair early grab.Video runs a half hour and comes with a bonus tour DVD. Buy it and protest everything. Share the Rad Jeff Cole organized Douglas Park Community Centre’s “Share the Wealth” Skate Jam and Protest demo for all the groms. All Nerve readers must buy something from each sponsor tomorrow: Protest, RVCA, Momentum, Boardroom,Vestal, Pacific Boarder, Thriller, and especially Downspace. Otherwise you’ll have bad luck for seven years. VanCity Downtown Plaza Underworld hosted the End of Summer Skate Jam to end summer with a bang, hand out prizes and commiserate over the start of rainy season. As usual, Underworld put on a good event to support the skate community. The comp went down at Van’s Downtown Plaza, which is currently only a temporary park. The Vancouver Skatepark Coalition is lobbying the City to make this park permanent, but needs help from skaters. To make this a reality, there has to be less garbage at the site, as far as the City ‘s concerned. It’s something to keep in mind – since we all need more parks and spots, not less. So remember to throw out your crap so we can all enjoy the plaza for a long time to come. Almost Secret If you bought the Almost “Cheese and Crackers” DVD, you’re in luck. Jay at Westbeach tells us there are 2 hidden bonuses. Go to the Main Menu, to the upper left icon and press left left up. Alternately, go to the lower right icon and press right right down. You may be rewarded with big wood and some fat blunts. It’s like Super Mario. If it doesn’t work, blame Jay. This and That “Thatmagazine”, which has been floating around in small format for about 3 years, has grown – into a full-sized skateshop, that is. Drop by 12 E.Cordova St in Gastown,Vancouver and check out various local brands such as Vancity Skateboards, Lowsea Loc Skimboards, Thatmagazine, Powdered Donut

Dan, kickflip, Douglas Park Skate Jam. photo: Derek DeLand Bearings, and Strike Three Clothing . The opening is set for November 1st, Release party coming up too. If you’re cold and lonely, Dan Cummer’s got new Maniac shirts and hoodies and Jay Pay ‘s on Co-Op radio 102.7fm. Calgary If you’re in Calgary you might check out the Group Seven shop’s hardwood miniramp. They’re at 2115 4th Street or call ‘em at 403.229.3117. We forgot to mention last month that D-Rock won Slam City, specifically the high score on Ms. Pac-Man, and won a shirt from a little company called Big Swell who you should support cuz they’re nice. Eastside Zoo York’s AM Getting Paid went down Sept. 22nd to 24th 2006 at South Parc skatepark in Montreal . In it’s third year, the event’s a 3-day Am comp put on by Zoo York and Underworld skate shop. Dan Cordeiro and Dan Vezina were behind the street course design (Vez was the brains behind the Tazmahal park in Montreal in the 90s). Check the site for more details: south-parc.com. Also coming up is the premierefor Underworld’s latest video, check dates across Canada at: yesterdaysfuturevideo. com Now that monsoon season is about to hit, it’s good to do a little research on your local indoor skatespots. This month we want to mention Adrift Skateshop in Toronto, run by ex-VanCity’s very own Lyndsey Westfall. The shop is at 751 Queen St. West, adriftskateshop.com or myspace.com/ adriftskateshop Error! A.N.T.I.S.L.A.M’s Last Man Standing was actually won by John Baker who beat Seb in a confusing overtime scenario. Leeside Sept 24th was the hiphop, breakin’ and skatin’ show at Leeside to raise awareness and fundraise to make the tunnel an official skate, bmx and graf site. Performers included Curtis Clearsky, Rapsure Risin, 49th Peril, Brigee K, In:Stead, Su Commandante, Buzy B and Rupinder Singh. Thanks to antisocial for covering insurance costs, and everyone who came out. Check leeside.ca/ or leematasi.spekt. net/ to donate to the park, which is in memory of Lee Matasi, the skateboarder and artist who was shot last year. On another note, Momentum Wheels has released a memorial wheel for Lee: the ‘I Heart Lee Matasi’ 53mm Momentum Wheel. 100% of the proceeds go to Leeside and it’s available at antisocialshop.com and darkflavour.com. Speaking of dark flavour, Matt Smed came up with Leeside Blend coffee and wants you to know all the profits go to the Leeside project. Now you can push, roll, sweat and piss Leeside - that’s what Lee used to do.

‘Mommy, why does that man have a tail?’ Hippe Mike protests gravity. photo: Derek DeLand The Nerve October 2006 Page 32

n

-D-Rock and Miss Kim. Email us at downspace@telus. net .


CONTENTS

CONTENTS AINSWORTH

The Man That Matters

NHL07

By Jason Ainsworth

T

By Dale DeRuiter

W

hen October rolls around, a few things accompany it, namely a drop in temperature signaling the end of summer and the return of fucking hockey. If you’re like me, you’re not a particular fan of the sport and find that it is pretty much inescapable. I will admit, however, that there is one aspect of hockey I can handle... the video game. In my opinion there is only one real hockey video game and its the newly released, 14th installment, freshly on shelves, Electronic Arts’ NHL series. Since the Sega Genesis, this series has weathered countless contenders and is still the best. EA is constantly finetuning your hockey experience by adding new features and changing some of the old ones. The new game has everything you have grown to love over the years including The Creation zone where you make players and teams, Dynasty mode and every other little do-dad that would take that fast talking guy from the micro machines commercial a year to list. Oddly enough the button layout has been drastically changed. Wrist shot and Slap shot are now two different buttons and are attributed to the triggers. This sounds crazy, I know, and does take a while to get used to. The craziest change though is the fact that the skill stick is no more. One of the biggest additions to last year’s title has been replaced with a passing stick. Now when you are in possession of the puck you

just move the right analog stick in the direction of the player you want to pass too. This is awesome especially if you are like me and used to end up fucking up all those delicious one timers. My buddy said it makes the controls more “organic” but that just sounds weird. With the absence of the need for shooting and passing the buttons have been attributed to different types of dekeing. It’s not organic, it’s bitchin, and now all you motherfuckers will swallow my dekes as I cut you down. As always, the rosters are almost frighteningly current and were updated until mere months before the release. This means that you can play as your ever loved Canucks, who are strangely good beyond their true performance, without having to deal with that useless tit Bertuzzi. With the attempted murderer shipped off to wherever the fuck he ended up maybe those bums can finally win a cup. One shitty thing about the rosters in this game is the 44 million dollar salary cap. It’s good for that true to life feel the game aims for but now you cannot make a custom team made up of 25 troglodytes that fight everything because they cost too much. In fact it is pretty hard to make a team that ranks above 87 which is what all the teams pretty much rank. This year they are all pretty close in rank and don’t range more than10 points apart. Apparently the makers did not want to hurt a city’s feelings by giving their shitty team a shitty rating. n

This means that you can play as your ever loved Canucks, who are strangely good beyond their true performance, without having to deal with that useless tit Bertuzzi.

his computer here at the Nerve Office is absolutely terrible, I’d just like to say that right now. It is very slow and useless. I hate it and can’t work under these circumstances. People working in Ukrainian Coal mines with no legs have it better, coughing up blood. I hate it. I hate it. I’m giving over this month’s space to an interview with a good friend of mine, well, actually only a slight acquaintance of mine, the famous pederast Bob Grenny. He’s been a helping hand to the child molestation community for the better part of three decades, and while his lifestyle choices may be abhorrent to the general population, it’s his life to lead. At least he’s not playing hockey. Well, he coaches hockey, but it’s not the game he’s interested in. He’s interested in the boys. Age 10 to 14. I know, it’s an outrage, he should rot in prison for life etc., etc. Nerve: Where did you take your undergraduate degree? BG: Actually, it’s a funny story in and of itself. Initially I achieved a very impressive score on my LSAT and intended, of course, to pursue a law degree at an…. advanced university. However, my interest in physiotherapy soon overwhelmed my satisfaction with the status of contemporary Law practice. I had the happy notion to employ the foreign student scholarship program at Heidelberg University, and, due to my excellent German, I was accepted. I then went on to complete my Master’s degree at Cambridge, but, funnily enough, it wasn’t in Physiotherapy at all. It was in Information Technology! It still makes me laugh. Nerve: Is that where you became sexually interested in young boys? BG: Actually, funny story, at first it was young girls I was interested in!! Nerve:WOW! BG: I KNOW! I was really very attracted to little girls, ten, eleven… you know…. I liked the cuter ones, well, obviously! Nobody likes unattractive girls who put no effort into their appearance. Nerve:They aren’t being taught at home. BG: And I slow down to a crawl next to her on the street, right, and she looks at me, and holy god if she didn’t have just the beginnings of a moustache….

Nerve: An identity, not a persona. BG:Yes. Pederasty is so much more than just a persona… it develops, like a wardrobe, over time, over experiences, you make a lot of friends, actually, I was surprised about that. Nerve: Has your comparative fame as a child molester caused any animosity in the community? BG: Well, yes and no.Yes, there is some jealousy. But most pedophiles are supportive. Togetherness is a vital pillar of man-boy attraction. They are just glad to have a voice, really. Many pederasts are quite lonely without the company of other pederasts. We share. We share a lot. Nerve:This will seem like a silly question, but how do you go about actually molesting a boy? BG: Its all about the boy.You can’t like, in that way, every boy you see, it’s just not feasible. It’s important that you have similar personalities, and that’s tricky in itself, you know… you’re going to be fucking a developing personality, you have to remember that. Try to find something you have in common. Hockey’s good for that, really good. I never even skated until I became a sexual predator, its really funny. After you establish the….

And I slow down to a crawl next to her on the street, right, and she looks at me, and holy god if she didn’t have just the beginnings of a moustache….

Nerve: She was actually a boy… with long hair! BG:YES! The beginnings of his first moustache! At first, I was a little upset, you know, but… it was like a lighting fast decision in my brain… I was still aroused…. Nerve: Even though you were about to technically commit a homosexual act. BG: I guess… it was the awaking of the gay identity of Bob Grenny.

Nerve: Rapport? BG:Yes, after you have that, it’s just a matter of getting him in the van. Sometimes, yes, I use a bit of force. But children respect strictness, limitations….

Nerve: Is pederasty as… politically … established as recent rumour suggests? Conspiracy theory suggests a network of influence concerning the dissemination of such activities as so-called “snuff ” movies and sex with boys with bags on their heads. BG:Yes. This is true. I am close personal friends with the head of the Water Board for a large city in Minnesota that must remain nameless. But we aren’t criminals. Nerve:You can’t think of yourself as criminals.That just reinforces the stereotype. BG: I know. A lot of child molesters are really beating themselves up inside. Nerve: One last question: Have you ever had a celebrity child boyfriend? BG: Haha! I can keep a secret! n

The Nerve October 2006 Page 33


CONTENTS 21. “It’s the end of the world as we know it” band 22. Open Learning Institute 23. The Boston ____ Party 25. Civilians currently under US occupation 28. Military word for “doin’s” 31. State below S.Dak 34. Navy Seals division 35. Anthrax word 36. Like a lamprey 37. Fixes 41. Knowledgeable 43. Iesvs Nazarenvs Rex Ivdaeorvm 44. US tax watchdogs 46. Abbreviation of average 47. End of a hammer 48. Lie 49. Strata 53. Opp of aves 55. Snitch goof 57. Baby lice 58. 9-11 Ground Zero 60. Author of, “Failed States,” and “Hegemony or Survival.” 65. Horton hears a _____ 66. Ultimatum 67. Board game feat. Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum 68. Cult radio host Bell 69. Portents 70. Roseanne 71. Place for shoes 72. Church benches 73. Abbreviation of session Down 1. Raid (take from) 2. Riddle 3. Reason to scratch 4. Operation Desert Storm, e.g 5. Applause (abbrv) 6. Peruvian Capital 7. Racial slur for “oriental” 8. al-Qaeda leader’s last name 9. “E” to an Army guy 10. Poker slang for “mannerism”

By Dan Scum Across 1. Smallest province 4. Canadian brewery (abbrv) 8. Wager 11. Divided by 13. Not warlike 14. Crystalized di-hydrogen oxide

cards 4/4

15. Guitar playing hook 16. al-Qaeda leader and 9-11 mastermind (1st name) 17. National Hockey 18. Landlocked Asian nation between Iran and Pakistan 20. Laugh Out Loud

full colour digital + offset printing

5k 4x6 postcardz @ 395 12x18 posterz @ 50¢ $

f

(posterz one sided) plus $10 set-up/file check

all $CA or $US w’ free ship’g to WA/OR

digital & offset: cardz • posterz • stickerz • ticketz • brochurz • catalogz

The Nerve October 2006 Page 34

12. Site of Mohawk-SQ (Securite Quebec) conflict 13. Tesla apparatus 18. Jackie O’s 2nd 19. Place for cocaine 24. The E in Einstein’s equation (E=MC squared) 26. Charmingly old fashioned 27. Dictator Amin 29. Dictator Pot 30. US bomber plane 32. India Pale or Cream 33. Alternative Tentacles Ani 37. Common epitaph 38. Compass dir. 39. George W. Bush’s Grandaddy 40. Home of the Tamil Tigers 42. Sinatra’s 2nd 45. Religious oratory 50. Make certain 51. Island jail 52. Pig pad 54. Be a nosy parker 56. Deeds 58. Andrew Ridgeley’s band 59. _____ Bora , Afghanistan 61. It’s either you __ __ 62. From the start 63. European Zig Zag’s 64. Members of the Legislative Assemblies Last Issue’s Answers P

E I

M O L

S

B E T

I

L

I C E

O S A M A

N H L

I N T O

C

L I

C K

V I

A F G H A N I

S T A N

R

E M

I

I

R A Q I S

O L

O P

U D O

L O L

T E A S

N D A K

N O T

E E L Y

R

E P

A I R S

I

N R I

I

R

S

A V G

P

E E N

L

I

E

L

A Y E R S

R A T

N I T

S T S

L E A R N E D

W T C

N O A M C H O M S K Y

H O O

O R N O T

C L

A R T

O M E

B A R R

M A T

P

N S

E W S

U E

S E S


The Nerve October 2006 Page 35



Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.