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TOP 10 METAL ALBUMS OF 2012 (SO FAR) by ian stanley

10) Municipal Waste – The Fatal Feast There isn’t much on Municipal Waste’s latest album that we haven’t heard before from the Virginia thrash metal band. And yet I don’t care. These guys are a party band and don’t presume to be taken as anything more than that. The fun factor has always been a major component of their music and that endures on The Fatal Feast. The beer still flows, the sweat still pours, and the greasy long hair is still whipping ever so fervently back and forth. 9) Black Breath – Sentenced to Life Black Flag’s Damaged, Pantera’s Vulgar Display of Power, Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All; all are heavy albums known almost as much for their hard-hitting cover artwork as they are for what is contained inside. Black Breath continues this tradition with their monstrous album Sentenced to Life. Although it’s technically hardcore, the band mixes in some good old-fashioned metal and turns quite a few heads doing it. It’s a thorough brain-punch of an album that rarely lets up let alone allows its listeners an opportunity to catch their breath. 8) Bosse-de-Nage – III Surprisingly the only black metal representative on this list comes from a band that barely holds the tag itself. Bosse-de-Nage is their name and they’ve been (not so) quietly tearing up the underground metal scene for a few years now. They’ve got the tortured vocals down pat and there are plenty of blast beats to be had, but the band’s third release, aptly titled III, experiments with the sound much like many of their contemporaries do. Surprisingly the member the stands out the most on this album is their drummer. Ridiculously complicated fills permeate the entire release making this album one to pay attention to. 7) High On Fire – De Vermis Mysteriis Whenever I hear that my friends like Motörhead I immediately recommend that they listen to High On Fire. The stoner metal band very obviously looks to those grandfathers of metal for inspiration and their music absolutely bleeds it. And in case the Motörhead reference wasn’t enough for you, know that frontman Matt Pike also plays for doom metal legends Sleep. On De Vermis Mysteriis (which was produced by Converge’s Kurt Ballou) the band unleashes their most cohesive and hard-hitting album to date. It’s pummels like a rogue rhino with Pike’s gravelly vocals leading the charge. If anything I’ve described sounds appealing to you, you’re going to want to let this one run you over. 6) Gojira – L’Enfant Sauvage I’ll admit that L’Enfant Sauvage was my introduction to veteran French death metal band Gojira. I kept hearing great things about the album and so I decided to check it out. Long story short: the fanboys were right. Compared to a lot of the death metal albums that have been released this year (see #4) L’Enfant Sauvage seems almost like a lightweight. It hits hard but not in the ways you’d think. Think of it as boxing compared to bare-knuckle brawling; it’s more about strategy than brute force. With a lot of deep chugging guitars and vocals that make you want to sing/scream along to, this is just a really strong and straightforward metal album.

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5) Wreck and Reference – Youth Wreck and Reference might be the least well-known band on this list and that’s a darn shame. I’ve been plugging these guys for a while now and I was so pleased with how their sophomore album Youth (or No Youth) turned out. Most surprising is that this is a metal album that contains no live guitars. Everything that you hear is created using samples, drums, synths, and of course the tortured vocals. These guys also might surprise you with their original sound. Pinning genre tags on this thing can be a bit of a chore since doom, black metal, industrial, and noise rock all play a major role. On top of that it is probably the one of the more evilsounding releases you’ll experience this year. If you want to feel despondent for an hour this is your ticket. 4) Cattle Decapitation – Monolith of Inhumanity This kind of death metal is one that I rarely find myself dabbling in. You know, it’s the kind that is constructed to tightly in the studio that when replicated live must be performed to a lesser degree. Yet with all of this in mind Monolith of Inhumanity is an album that I absolutely cannot bring myself to stop listening to. It’s a hulking mutant that culls so many brutal styles together and I love every minute of it. The vocals alone on this thing are so varied it’s impossible to get bored. Grindcore pig squealing; growling,; shrieking; and a strangely melodic, high-pitched singing(?) are all here and I am still jaw-dropped that they all come from the same tortured and gristled throat. 3) Torche – Harmonicraft Calling Torche’s most recent album Harmonicraft metal might be a bit of a stretch, but there is still enough sludge inside that I feel comfortable placing it here (plus the album just flat out rocks). And as far as accessibility goes, this is probably your best bet if you’re not much of a metalhead. Heck, the guys even went as far as to label this thing “stoner pop.” Yet for all of its sugary goodness and over-the-top candy themed artwork, Harmonicraft is still a tightly constructed and well-executed exercise in sludge metal greatness. If you’re hungry for a rock album chock full of thick riffs, stadium-ready guitar solos, and radiant melodies then Harmonicraft might be the album for you. 2) Pallbearer – Sorrow and Extinction “Throwback” and “old-fashioned” were some of the words that first came to mind when I listened to Sorrow and Extinction. Taking doom metal back to the early days, Pallbearer has lifted my spirits with their majestic debut album. Sure they have all the staples of the genre with the plodding, down tuned guitars, the methodically slow tempos, and the soaring vocals; but Pallbearer injects it with so much heart and beauty that all you can do is just sit back and admire the gorgeous masterpiece. This is doom metal for the ages. 1) Baroness – Yellow & Green Baroness knew that what they were planning for Yellow & Green might very well lose them some fans, but that didn’t matter to them. What they had up their sleeve was bigger and more amazing than what anyone could have imagined. Taking what is usually a bloated medium (the double album), Baroness has done the impossible by crafting two albums of epic proportions. Building on their already strong sludge metal foundation, these Georgia boys pushed their creativity into new territories and have made the journey back with their arms full of treasure. Featuring crushing rock metal anthems, searing guitar solos, beautifully restrained instrumentation, and everything in between Yellow & Green is not only my favorite metal release so far this year, but my favorite in any genre.

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this issue is brought to you by test pressings.

Single of the

Week

This week’s single comes from Joshua Michael Robinson’s upcoming full-length record, Intentions. “Black & White” is one of my favorite tracks on this record, with beautiful vocals and a stunning guitar riff. Be sure to check out Cassandra’s review of the album in this issue! 4


A Song is Worth a Thousand Words by kenzie weeks

What I’ve been trying, again and again, to do since I moved back home from New York is explain an inexplicable feeling, to somehow translate a brief, oneiric summer—in which each apartment stoop, bodega, offbeat show, and Two Boots medium pizza was every bit as intoxicating as the ample stream of gin—into a sound bite of vague reassurance to the friends and relatives who ask me how the City was. But besides the wild exhilaration, which naturally accompanied the sort of freedom and independence this summer in the city afforded me for the first time, there was solipsism, sulking, sweat-drenched unease, and a persistent coat of dust and grime clinging to my legs. Then there are feelings that I don’t think have names, at least not in English. The feelings that flooded me during Teen Mom drinking games, cringe-worthy sexual encounters, and while dancing on top of the coffee table, records on high volume, with my best friend. While walking to work on St. Marks and tripping over the mannequin in front of Search and Destroy vintage. While riding the Q all the way to Coney Island and splitting iPod earbuds to watch an episode of Scooby Doo. The feeling of being at once very grown up and important and superlative and also small and bumbling and terrified. So instead of trying that same, old hopeless game of Rosetta Stone, I’ll just let the music speak for me—the soul-shaking combination of joy and anxiety. Here’s to The Levee, the L train, best friends, Mexican Car Crashes, Olivia Benson, internship cubicles, Union Square benches, sleeping on couches, and a summer in New York City, where things always get a little weird. 1. “I Guess The Lord Must Be In New York City” – Harry Nilsson 2. “Shake Real Low” – The King Khan & BBQ Show 3. “Crash” – Belle and Sebastian 4. “Queen Bitch” – David Bowie 5. “Over and Done With” – The Proclaimers 6. “Cobrastyle” – Robyn 7. “I Love It” – Icona Pop 8. “Baby Missiles” – The War on Drugs 9. “I’m So Unclean” – Evans the Death 10. “Stuck In My Id” – Reptar 5


by matt boswell Emo once was much more than kids hanging out at the mall with their dyed black hair and multi-colored extensions, wearing jeans that fit too tight, and a band shirt with large neon lettering on it. Emo was made up of shy and awkward kids who liked to read and watch films (not movies), and would go to the high school prom stag if they went at all. These were the wallflowers before there were “Perks”, and these were the albums that best defined them. Nothing Feels Good by The Promise Ring “I don’t know God, and I don’t know anyone, and I don’t know God, and I don’t know if anything at all will be alright” The Promise Ring are one of the definitive emo bands of the Golden Age (mid 90’s), and their highest achievement was the album Nothing Feels Good (which later became the title of a book all about emo). The wailing vocals of Davey von Bohlen seem unsure at times, and coupled with his distinctive lisp leaves the image of a vulnerable kid we can all relate to. The line “nothing feels good like you in red and blue jeans and your white and night things” from “Red And Blue Jeans” leaves everyone yearning to be cuddled up next to that special someone. Listen to: “Nothing Feels Good” American Football by American Football “How I should say goodbye, with a handshake, or an embrace, or a kiss on the cheek, possibly all three” This album is arguably the biggest influence on modern emo (as in Snowing and Joie de Vivre, not The Black Veil Brides). Mike Kinsella (now playing music under the moniker Owen) put together what could very well be the saddest collection of songs about a girl. However, he never comes off bitter or angry, just bummed out. All of us shy guys can understand that in many situations of heartbreak, that anger just doesn’t come. The light and “mathy” guitar parts strung throughout really help everything hit home as well, and once the trumpet parts come in, game over, the waterworks are flowing. Listen to: “Never Meant”

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Dear You by Jawbreaker “I scratch my accidents into the wall. I couldn’t wait to breathe your breath. I cut in line, I bled to death. I got to you, there was nothing left” Many people wouldn’t consider Jawbreaker an emo band, usually lumping them in with punk rock or post-hardcore, but the subject material and songwriting on Dear You fits it perfectly on this list. So much more apparent in the lyrical content aren’t stories of heartbreaking, but moreso just a serious case of selfloathing. However, Jawbreaker still IS a punk band with loud guitar riffs and driving drum beats, which ends up leaving a bunch of broken down kids locking themselves in their room or car and blasting these songs at full volume. Listen to: “Accident Prone” Something To Write Home About by The Get Up Kids “There’s room to believe, out of sight, out of mind, out of reach. Start over is no way to begin.” This is without a doubt the most poppy album from the world of 90’s emo, but the lyrics of Matt Pryor are juts as relatable for any kid dealing with missing someone. The last track on the album, “I’ll Catch You”, fits in perfect on any love mixtape, whereas a track like “Out of Reach” or “Valentine” could be the soundtrack of the breakup however long after. Also, this album has one of the best intros I can think of, with the pickslide and pounding drums going into the opening riff of “Holiday”. If you’re going through a heartbreak, but want to keep a smile on your face, be sure to spin this record. Listen to: “Red Letter Day” Clarity by Jimmy Eat World “I close my eyes and believe. Wherever you are, an angel for me” Jimmy Eat World have become pop music powerhouses over the past 15 years, and with less than amazing records such as Invented and Chase This Light, it’s easy to forget how perfect this band was at one point. Clarity still stands as one of the greatest emo records of all time. The lyrics are clever but not unattainable. The music is raw but not dirty. It’s sad and beautiful, but they never have too much angst. There are louder, faster, rock n’ roll songs, but they are always complemented with slow ballads. This is a record that can take you all over the emotional spectrum throughout its duration, ending with a giant, progressive end of “Goodbye Sky Harbor” clocking in at 16:15 Listen to: “A Sunday” Honorable Mention: Domestica by Cursive, Pinkerton by Weezer, Do You Know Who You Are? by Texas Is The Reason, Frame & Canvas by Braid, Read Music/Speak Spanish by Desaparecidos

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EAR CANDY an interview by the miscreant

Vance Barber and Adam Hiniker host a podcast. On said podcast, they talk about music, cruise ships, and fancy beverages, with weekly appearances from artists such as Sean Hayes, Pearl And The Beard, and Swear And Shake. Based out of Queens, New York, the weekly podcast is founded in a passion for music and “humor that you’d generally find inside your weird uncle’s van.” Here the boys discuss their origin, finding an intern, and discovering music that they love. The Miscreant: When listening to the show, your chemistry suggests that you two have known each other for a while. How did you guys meet? Vance: We actually don’t know that much about one another – which is why it’s fun to do the show every week. We both find each other interesting and funny – so what you are hearing isn’t actually chemistry – it’s more like intrigue. Adam: I think we’ve definitely developed chemistry over the last few years but it really is propelled by us being kind of fascinated by each other - in a very heterosexual way of course. We’re just two very different people that were given two very different amounts of hugs growing up. Let’s just say if you want a raise in your allowance you’ll definitely want to talk to Vance. The Miscreant: What inspired you to start Ear Candy, and what was the original format? Adam: I was always really into radio growing up and originally wanted to pursue a career in broadcasting. It didn’t seem like there was much demand for comedic talent outside of hacky morning show bullshit. So rather than resining to a career of doing blow and reading celebrity birthdays with some bitch named Helen, I chose to pursue a career in stand-up which to be fair - isn’t a whole lot different. However, when podcasts became a thing I was totally on board because it allowed the same freedom that I had on stage but you were able to broadcast all of your crazy ideas worldwide. Ear Candy was originally more of a free form thing that I started doing with two comedian friends of 8


mine. At some point I got the idea to play music in between segments - usually by people I knew in bands. It was really just an experiment until Vance and I started doing a weekly show in April 2011. From there we went crazy with the cross-promoting and that’s when it started to take off. The Miscreant: How do you think the show has evolved in recent years? Vance: For me, the big stand out element is the live music and artist interviews. To have these bands come in and give us our own private concert experience is baffling; it’s humbling. I feel like Ear Candy kind of answers the question “What would happen if this band came over and played in my living room?” The interviews get personal and private and funny and honest; I think honesty is our biggest discovery. We like to capture the real moments. No filters. No puppet strings. Not many outlets provide that sort of freedom. Adam: Yeah it’s pretty wild how much freedom most of our guests give us. We figured out very quickly that most people are down for the kind of candid tone that we want the show to have. At this point we don’t even have to ask if anyone ever shit their pants in the tour van, people just blurt it out voluntarily. The Miscreant: How do you choose guests to come on the show? Vance: I get e-mails every day from PR companies that want their talent on the show. From there – it’s pretty simple – if I like them, I book them. I open every e-mail - no matter who it’s from. We don’t care how big or little you are, we just want it to be good. Adam: Sho-nuff. The Miscreant: Talk about some of the guests you’ve had recently on the show. What were some of the greatest Ear Candy performances? Favorite interviews? Vance: We had Chappo on the show and their performance was bananas. They decorated the studio and put on outfits. If you watch the video – everything is covered in space blankets and the guys are wearing feathers and sweating. It’s pretty fucking tits. Interviewing Sean Hayes was an ‘Oh My God’ moment. The man is one of my favorite songwriters of all time and to hang out with him and his’ family was an honor. Favorite interview was probably The Sklar Brothers though – just because it was nuts. Those two guys – talk about chemistry – are turned up to 11 and spitting gold the entire time. Then, out of nowhere, Jay Mohr comes in to the green room, grabs a microphone and blurts, jags and rifts nonstop. It was magical. It all seems like a blur to me now. Adam and I were giddy. More podcasts should be crashed by Jay Mohr. Adam: Yeah it really was amazing. Dude insists that we not mention him being in the room and then proceeds to grab the mic and do a Tracy 9


Morgan impression completely disrupting the interview. I would have been pissed if I wasn’t so enamored by being in the same room as someone that had been inside of Nikki Cox. Getting to hang out with Andy Kindler was one of my favorites. We recorded a segment with him that went from the time he got off stage from the early show, to when he walked on stage for the late show. He drank close to a pint of scotch during our hour long conversation and just riffed. The Miscreant: What are your individual roles in the show, both on and off air? Vance: My on air role – I don’t know – I guess I’m the optimistic, ignorant, nerdy, weird one. I put my foot in my mouth a lot. Off air I deal with all social media and guest booking. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Soundcloud, Tumblr, Bandcamp, Instagram – I do it and weirdly love it. It’s a passion I didn’t know I had until I was a part of Ear Candy. This year we won a Facebook poll that got us featured on iTunes and we reached our goal of 10,000 followers on Twitter. It feels great. By the way – if you are a band or comedian and don’t have a Facebook page or Twitter handle – die in a fire. If I come across another Myspace link in my e-mail I will filet your mignon. We live in a social media age. Get your shit straight. Okay – I’m done. Adam: I guess considering that little jag I’m the less hostile one? Though I do agree with Babs – that’s Vance’s nickname – I also call him Sparky sometimes to be creepy cause that’s what his girlfriend calls him. On air I’m the more sporadic, sleep deprived, perpetually single one. Off air I do all of the audio pre and post production as well as the visual stuff like websites and merch. The Miscreant: Tell us about your setup? What does the Ear Candy studio look like? What do you use to edit the podcast? Vance: When we started the show, we recorded in Adam’s sexy, wood paneled bachelor pad. It was super weird. Guests had to enter through the garage and walk down into the dark basement. Still – very sexy. It had a cushioned bar and pink bathroom. When Ear Candy started to get bigger though, Adam moved out and rented a separate studio. A lot more professional… a lot less sexy. Adam: And a lot less like your parents basement in the 60’s - though I still held on to the shag rug from our original place - on some vintage modern shit. Our current studio is in an artist building in LIC. It’s full of all kinds of start-ups and musicians and people that look like they probably hang cinderblocks from their nipples. As far as recording and editing goes, we pretty much use Pro Tools for everything. I work as a freelance producer/ engineer so I’m able to justify having nice equipment by telling myself it’s for work. The Miscreant: I’ve met and befriended your lovely intern, Intern_Lauren, and she is a treat! Did you find her or did she find you? Do you guys regularly take interns? Vance: I found Lauren on Twitter. I started following her because she had an interest in indie music. She became a listener - sent us fan comics – was just really excited about what we were doing. She e-mailed us and wanted to be an intern. Adam and I have 10


always joked around with the idea, but once it became a serious possibility we made it work. Now we love interns. We have a new one coming in next month. If anyone is interested, let us know! Adam: We really just want to collaborate with anyone that’s excited about what we do. One thing that I didn’t anticipate was that we would attract people just like us, it’s one of those details that seems so obvious but didn’t really hit me until we started meeting people like Lauren. The Miscreant: Podcasts, especially in the worlds of comedy and music, have grown hugely popular in recent years. Why do you think that is, and what do you think brought it on? Vance: Smart phones, iPods and computers have become our best friends. We are always connected to our technology. I think podcasts give the technology a personality. I don’t think of a podcast as a show – weirdly, it feels more like time with a friend. When we are with our technology, it’s a lonely relationship; podcasts make it more interesting. Adam: I also think just in promotional terms people are starting to realize the value in doing a podcast. Like Vance said, people have personal relationships with these things and I think people are very loyal to their favorite podcasts. In a way having us play your music on our show is like giving a mix tape to a few thousand of our closest friends. The Miscreant: Are there any podcasts that you guys listen to regularly? Maybe podcasts that influence you when you get behind the microphone? Vance: My subscription list is really nerdy. I listen to The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe, Fat Man on Batman and Star Talk. I like to learn shit. In high school I didn’t care. Now I care. I listen to comedy podcasts only if it has a guest on it that I like. I try not to let anything influence me. You can only be yourself on a podcast; on mic, it’s really obvious if you try to be something else than what you are. Adam: I’m really into comedy podcasts – stuff like WTF with Marc Maron and The Adam Carolla Show. I had to stop listening to Jimmy Pardo because I was afraid I was starting to sound like him. Ear Candy has elements of all of my favorite podcasts and radio shows but the influences are vague and it’s very much it’s own thing. The Miscreant: What’s coming up for Ear Candy? Who can we expect to see on the show soon? Vance: We are in talks about doing our very first live show. We are going to rent out a theater, have a band play and chat with a comedian; probably do something weird. I’ll try pretty hard to make Adam uncomfortable. Really pumped. We have Cult Fever, Chris Gethard and Ava Luna coming on in the next month or so. Love all those guys. Oh – and possibly a former beauty queen – only because it’s weird. Adam: In addition, we’ll be hosting some shows for CMJ and hopefully getting a t shirt gun. Be sure to check the boys out at EarCandyNewYork.com! 11


ALBUM REVIEW: Joshua michael robinson’s intentions by cassandra baim Singer-songwriter Joshua Michael Robinson, is making his solo debut with the record Intentions. Robinson, also of The Careful Ones, is a 21-year-old Florida native. His young age is apparent in his youthful sound, but his overall appeal is universal. Much of the album falls under the category of “romantic.” His lyrics show a sense of desperation, but in the most hopeful and optimistic way possible. Instead, his soft acoustic guitar and whispered words give a sense of intimacy to his music. His vocals are reminiscent of John Mayer, but without the implications of being a womanizing tool. Instead, he shows sensitivity, and a familiarity with longing and heartbreak. The two best tracks come at the middle, and toward the end, respectively: “Black & White,” and “Heavy.” While he relies on a murmur-y croon-whisper for most of the album, “Black & White” showcases a much more soulful sound. It has a faster tempo than the preceding and succeeding songs. “Black & White” opens with electric guitar riffs, a refreshing difference from the soft acoustic plucks of the previous tracks. The song builds to a multi-instrumental end: with more electric guitar, violins, piano, and a bevy of other orchestral instruments. The album begins to wrap itself up with “Heavy.” Like a few of the songs before it, “Heavy” utilizes a female vocalist to harmonize with his soft murmurs with an unassuming soprano. Like “Black & White,” his acoustic sounds give way to a building bridge featuring a lot of piano, and a lot of heart. Both “Heavy” and “Black & White” add a bit of texture to the album, rounding it out and making his sweet sound a little more complex. Joshua Michael Robinson does not shy away from aural references to the singer-songwriters that came before him. One listen to his album calls to mind artists like Ryan Adams, Ray LaMontagne, Ben Kweller, Joseph Arthur, and even groups like Band of Horses and Blind Pilot. Joshua produces a very refined sound, but that’s not to say that his work is overly processed. Instead, he shows commitment to his lyrics by matching his romantic words with soft, unassuming melodies that are easy to digest and identify with. He is not the first male singer-songwriter with a knack for sensitivity, and he certainly won’t be the last, but he certainly makes an impression on listeners with his delicacy, intimacy, and charm.

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A MISCREANT’S STUDY ABROAD PLAYLIST by maya kosoff I’m leaving for Spain in a few days. It still hasn’t hit me yet, likely due to a lot of denial on my part and my physical incapability to pack a whole semester into two suitcases. In the past week I’ve said goodbye to my best friends, sobbed behind a seasonal berry display in the produce section of my local grocery store (I suppose this makes me ‘that’ girl, which is something else I’m coming to terms with), and made a lot of to-do lists (a Maya Kosoff Approved Method for Dealing with Stressful Situations™). I guess what really gets me, though, isn’t my months-old egotistical epiphany that life is going to go on without me at Syracuse. It’s a lot dumber than that—I’m just going to miss the convenience of having everyone I love within walking distance of my apartment. I’ll miss the two months of fall semester we’re allotted before snow starts falling. I’ll miss my boyfriend. I’ll probably miss speaking English a little. But fall semester is going to be over in the blink of an eye, which is all the more reason to start enjoying it while it’s (almost) here. In my compulsive list-making, I’ve put together a study abroad playlist—a few songs about traveling, a couple others that remind me of home (wherever that is…probably a rest stop bathroom on I-81 somewhere between Hershey, Pennsylvania and Syracuse, New York), some for the happy times, and some for the sad times. Enjoy, and safe travels to all the other miscreants abroad! xo “Your English is Good” – Tokyo Police Club “1904” – Tallest Man on Earth “The Lengths” – The Black Keys “Shirt” – Jawbreaker “Claws pt. 1” – Typhoon “Be My Baby” – The Ronettes “Waiting in the Airport” – River City Extension “Each and Every Day” – Best Coast “Take Care of Yourself” – Owen “Heretic Pride” – the Mountain Goats “Jungleland” – Bruce Springsteen “Jude Law and a Semester Abroad” – Brand New “Wait” – Alexi Murdoch “Transatlanticism” – Death Cab for Cutie “The Radiator Hums” – Cursive “Lost in Space” – Teenage Bottlerocket “Baby’s Comin’ Home Today” – Joe Coffee 14


Blog Stumbling:

GLOW

The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, and the NEED to see trailer by liz kenny

Just like the typical college student, I have my specific blogs I like to waste my time on, one of them being The World’s Best Ever. Upon scrolling down the page one day, I stopped on a trailer with pure curiosity, enter: “GLOW, The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling” (2011). It opened my eyes up to a spectrum of obscene pop culture I had failed to ever be educated about. The trailer opens with a scene of some “Maury” type show, with some dull woman of the 80’s standing up in the crowd wearing her pastel pink shirt and short mom of a haircut to ask the women apart of GLOW, “When you were little, did you dream about becoming a wrestler?” Lady, did you dream of being that woman who gets to speak on the microphone on a daytime talk show when you were little? The women of GLOW look like total badasses, as they stare back at this lame middle-aged hater, and then the trailer continues on to prove how badass these ladies actually are. GLOW looks like its about to be a total VH1 “Behind the Music” episode, only its woman of the late 80’s who look like ex-groupies of hair and metal band, that wrestle. With their hair teased up properly and Kisslike makeup around their eyes, in pinks, purples, blues, and glitter… lots of glitter, these women undergo rounds upon rounds of wrestling one another while using crafty fillers, such as comedy sketches and introductions of their characters involving chainsaws (real ones, these ladies are too legit to quit). The actual television show began in 1986, hiring women who saw GLOW as their gateway into show business. In 2011, Brett Whitcomb created the documentary, which includes the crazy live footage of the 80’s, and interviews from the women years after the “20th Anniversary Edition of the Very Best of GLOW” was released. The best of the interviews has to be of a hefty sized woman wearing the same eye makeup she once wore in her GLOW matches recalling, “I used to love to make ‘em boo! I’d make children cry.” A woman, who is apparently having an identity crisis and has come to convince herself that she is Russian, after playing one on the show, then follows that. Straight up gems. Although I have not seen the actual documentary, the trailer was just too good not to recommend. Seeing the live footage of this late 80’s phenomena, mixed with interviews of empowered women who “changed wrestling forever” and were apart of a “reality show, before reality TV hit”, makes GLOW a must see, trailer.

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From The Leftover shelf: Zipperface (1992) by kyle kuchta

I have a movie collection. It’s a collection that I am quite proud and fond of, and it keeps growing. However, I get carried away sometimes and purchase movies that just sit up on my shelf. It reminds me of that scene in Talladega Nights where the bartender refers to certain artists on the jukebox only there for “profiling purposes.” As much as I do have more of a reason for having movies on my shelf than for profiling, they don’t always get watched right away. Or at all, even. I keep all my movies very organized. They are all alphabetical on my shelf and I have an Excel document to keep all of them in. It may be slightly obsessive, but it really isn’t that bad. So here’s the plan. In order to get through my abundance of unwatched movies, I am going to watch them and then write about them here. On a blog called the Leftovers. It will give me something to do rather than just sit and watch them. I don’t know what each movie will bring for me to write about but that’s fine by me. Check it out at theleftovershelf.wordpress.com. Here’s a little something about Zipperface. Starring: Donna Adams, David Clover, Jonathan Mandell Directed by Mansour Pourmand Format: DVD (Value DVD to be exact) Tagline: “You can’t hide the face of fear! “ZIPPERFACE is the nickname a frustrated police department gives to a mysterious leather clad serial killer whose hideous black leather mask sports a huge silver zipper covering his mouth. ZIPPERFACE is on the rampage, terrorizing the city with bizarre, cool, and calculated murders. The police can find a clue, as victims of ZIPPERFACE continue to mount. Beautiful female detective Ryder who is handling the case has no choice but to go undercover as a decoy to try to solve the mystery, only to find that she is now become the killer’s obsession. ZIPPERFACE is a tightly crafted thriller that will keep you riveted and hanging on tightly to the edge of your seat!” My Story: Yeah, I doubt that. I bought this movie at a grocery store in Fillmore, NY for $1. It is in the exact paper sleeve that you see pictured above. Value DVD in English and Español! I made the mistake of reading a few reviews prior to watching this. I don’t think it’s going to be a very fun night. Let’s watch Zipperface, anyway.

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My Thoughts: - Pretty intense police raid/hostage situation happening in Palm City, California to start off the movie. - The head detective looks like Ron Perlman. - They did NOT just censor him saying “motherfucker.” Oh god if this is an edited DVD I’m going to go insane. - No, nevermind, she just said “shit.” - The prostitutes just said that the killer was a “regular.” I don’t know about that. - Um…he just snapped a woman’s neck with a whip. - The hookers got away! - Sexism in the workplace. Yikes. - Why is this landlady being so uncooperative? it’s not hard to answer the police’s questions. - “I don’t like girls being called chicks, babes, or broads.” “What about bimbo?” - The photographer that takes pictures of prostitutes seems like he would be the prime suspect. - Alright, twenty minutes in and it’s made very clear who the killer is. - Why would the prostitute go out again after almost being killed? - Now the photographer is trying to seduce the detective. Oh yikes. - Is the soundtrack to this all MIDI? - Camera+wine=total seduction. - “Nobody minds too much if a few hookers get killed!” - They keep censoring “fuck.” - The movie spends too much time in every scene. So basically, I’d prefer if the movie didn’t exist. - Are you naked under that robe? Am I bothering you?” People don’t talk like this ever. - They even censored all the sex! For a movie about hookers and murder, they sure did cut a lot out. - Zipperface is no longer killing just hookers, he’s now killing mediocre theater actors. - Nevermind, didn’t kill the male actor. Whose name is Alvin. Just the theater owner and female actress. - They just pulled some Scooby-Doo shit, and pulled a wig off of a “suspect.” And then totally discriminated against crossdressers. Real nice. - You know when you try to have a conversation using only questions? Or when you hear every like, third sentence of a conversation? That’s what this movie is. - The misogynistic coworker is the most annoying character in this movie. Which is saying a lot because I’ve been annoyed since minute one. - WAH, YOU HURT MY FEELINGS, WAH, YOU LIED TO ME, WAH, WHAT DON’T YOU PUT ON YOUR SADOMASOCHISTIC OUTFIT AND CRY SOME MORE. - Where did this weird political storyline come from? - The lighting in this makes me want to cry. - Detective Ryder has said “don’t worry I’m a cop” multiple times. - Wow, they cut out all nudity, blood, and f-words on this value DVD. Not that any of it could’ve saved this movie, but still. - I guess it wasn’t who I thought the killer was! WHATATWIST! The Verdict: I buy Value DVDs for a reason, and that reason is usually because they are bad and hard to come by (usually). Well, this was bad in the worst way, and I’m UPSET I came by it, even. Just a really, really poor movie that I picked up out of my horrendous impulse to buy dumb stuff. Hopefully the three other Value DVDs I picked up are better than Zipperface. Mansour Pourmand has luckily made nothing similar since.

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I GOT THE FEVAH by miss lauren caputi

Everybody loves a boy band, whether you’re willing to admit it or not. And before you get all defensive on me, keep in mind that the Beatles were, indeed, a teenage pop sensation. Now, times have changed and, accordingly, sounds did too. But that doesn’t stop a record company from throwing together a ragtag group of teenage boys for the sole purpose of making that cash money. From the Beatles to Menudo to New Kids on the Block. To Boys II Men to the Backstreet Boys. Every decade had (at least) one. Now, as a female growing up in the 90s, I have to say I still have a die-hard allegiance to “my bands.” *NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees and Hanson. They made my jams. I popped in their cassette tape in and I was ready to go. But lately, upon further listening, I found myself asking the question, “What the hell makes these songs so special or so different?” You see, in my young mind, these were mine. Mine and mine alone. I even staked out claims on which boys I wanted to marry. They were my first exposure to music which, sure, might sound sad. But these songs made the soundtrack to my pre-pubescent life. I memorized every sexual innuendo and double entendre, all the while having no clue what each one meant. It was a glorious time, innocent youth at its finest. And we all kind of miss that just a tiny bit, right? What I’m trying to get at is that no matter the decade, folks will fight tooth and nail that, for the given genre, that band is the cream of the crop. Each decade will declare that their music reigns supreme over the last. Granted, out of all of the aforementioned bands, the Beatles had the most diversity in their career. They stemmed away from their uber-poppy ways of the early 60s. But, you get my point. For example, when someone starts insulting your school. Usually, even if someone absolutely loathes that school, he or she is the peppiest, shiniest ball of school spirit you ever did see for that single, fleeting moment. Because, holy Christ, are we territorial. And the idea holds strong in 2012, with Big Time Rush and Justin Bieber as the poster boys. I don’t know about you, but if I hear a song by either of these artists, I want to scream. I’d rather listen to nails on a chalkboard while a baby’s crying through a megaphone. Yet if I dared to say that to my 12-year-old cousin, she’d claw my face off. Bottom line, it’s pretty funny to step back and look at what’s going on. The hatred and snobbery about our guilty pleasure tunes comes with the decade we grew up in. And we can look at the full cycle: how record companies can make us listen to shit which we believe at the time is “the shit,” only to later learn all of it was kind of shitty.

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AN ODE TO MIXTAPES by tori cote Whenever I sit down and try to write an article for The Miscreant, I always start by writing about a personal story. For example, I started writing about how one of my friends from high school tried to make out with me while we were hanging out. This should not have surprised me considering he had written songs titled with my name, driven me to the airport more than once, and offered to take me on dates (I go on dates with everyone, like I’m pretty sure I have gone on more dates with my best friend than is normal) Alas, it was quite a shock to the system and ultimately made me want to vomit on him a little while creating an awkward atmosphere. I was going to make a mixtape for him that was explicitly about how I only wanted to be friends, aptly titled “u r not my boyfriend,” but the only song that really described this situation was this gem: “Be Your Bro” // Those Darlins For obvious reasons, I was a little stressed from the predicament I had gotten myself into, so I decided to clean the shit out of my room. I found a ton of letters, horseback riding gear that probably makes me look I’m into some really kinky stuff, and mixtapes. My friends and I used to give each other mixtapes like they were candy. I think I have found some of my favorite bands from the mixtapes that my friends have given me. Radiohead, Bright Eyes, Death Cab for Cutie; all of my favorite bands from middle school came from mixtapes. I miss the days when someone would give you a mixed tape for a certain event. You can see a situation in a different light when you set it to certain melodies and lyrics. Relationships can change after hearing relatable mixes, especially if you listen to them together. I’ve never received a mixtape from a boyfriend, friend, or family member that didn’t help me understand them a little bit better. That being said, I think mixtapes should be given to anyone and everyone for different occasions. Birthdays, I’m Sorry, Congratulations, Sucks That Your Dog Died, Time For Drugs I’m Really Really Tired, Congratulations on Taking Out a Second Mortgage for Your Kid’s Undergrad, whatever. Because of the amazing invention otherwise known as the World Wide Web, it’s really easy for people to make playlists and send them to each other. But a mixtape is different than a playlist. A mixtape flows and makes sense. A playlist is just sort of a culmination of your favorite songs in some Internet file that you can’t physically hold. Even though there have been some perfectly crafted and moving playlists, I want to hold the music that someone worked hard to put together for me. The best part of getting a good mixtape is when you find the one song that is your song. It’s just yours. I found mine on a mixtape made by one of my best friends in 2010. “Just Another Day” // Her Space Holiday Songs mean different things to different people. Sometimes, people know more about you than you know about yourself. Mixtapes allow you to see something about yourself that you may not have otherwise seen. Even if you don’t want to make a mixtape, a mixed CD is the same thing at this day and age. So come on, miscreants, lets start trading tunes.

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The First Time A Guy Made Me Dinner by madam v

We met at one of those promotional events - you know, the ones where they give free promotional booze and there’s an awesome free performance, on the night’s bill - Sebastien Tellier. We met at the bar as I was ordering my 3rd whiskey sour on top of free AIR alcoholic carbonated water. He started talking business and asked me for my card- which always seems to erect my lady boner, but my priority was Sebastien Tellier so I grabbed my whiskey sour and hit the dancefloor. Not even two songs in, I get a text from him. “Hey it’s Devan, I don’t know if you remember me. But I’m upstairs if you wanna have a smoke.” I swooned to my friend, flattered that he used my card right away. Now, I have a moderately flirty persona when I’m sober so it’s just next level flirtation once I’ve had a few. So naturally, I respond “How could I forget?!” I meet him upstairs where he has a cigarette waiting for me AND my friend and when the conversation turns stale he invites us to after-hours. We show up to LA’s notorious after-hours spot “Overpass” - a shed turned bar during the witching hour in the hipster ridden neighborhood of Silverlake. I laughed to myself as he talked about how cool and obscure it was as if I hadn’t been there before. I was losing steam as we pulled up at 2am and conveniently enough it was time for my friend to take her Vyvanse. I self-diagnosed myself with ADHD for the night (probably because Devan wasn’t that interesting) and took one myself. One pill, 12 hours of impaired judgement. I felt the pill kick in, bought myself and the punk a Tecate, and was next-level fluttering around the dirty venue like the social butterfly I am. The sun came up but I couldn’t fall asleep if I tried. Devan, Rebekah, and I went to grab a cup of coffee and figure out our lives. I wrote a few emails and decided to spend the day by the pool where I used to live with the access key I wasn’t supposed to have with this guy I didn’t know. We talked for hours on end and by my impaired judgement we were really hitting it off! The sun was setting and so was my energy. I made him drive himself home in my car after he said “I’m not ready to go home yet.” (*REDFLAG*) then drove the back to my apartment and passed out. I woke up 18 hours later with two texts from Devan, an upper respiratory infection, and a voice like Froggy’s from Little Rascals. I was too sick to answer questions like “when am I going to see you again?” much less even think about that, but he convinced me to let him come over. I wasn’t feelin it. He did some of my homework and helped me with a craft project. It was just what I needed after a night like that. Assistance. I went to the doctor the next day and was souped up on Azythromycin and Mucinex DM when he started asking me when if he could make me dinner. I was flattered, nervous, confused, but most of all- sick. It was too good/ weird to be true, but I was too weak to make myself food so I agreed. I showed up to his frat-style apartment where he was playing Emeril in the kitchen. He went overboard with the bam and served salty pasta that was past inedible and tilapia I could make blindfolded. The best part was the ranch, because the salad was cut in squares and I prefer rectangles. I blamed my leftovers on my poor appetite, but agreed to watch Uncle Buck (my choice) but could only think about the end. I was too sick to drive myself home and he doesn’t have a car, so I stayed the night. I don’t know if it was his uncomfortable futon or his short fat dick that was the dealbreaker, but when he texted me to hang out for 4th of July, I was less than excited. I wanted to spend the day eating pot brownies and chillin with my homegirl, but Devan somehow tagged along and when Rebekah’s car broke down pre-fireworks show, he put on a pouty face because all he wanted was to “kiss under the fireworks.” I gave him a piece of pot brownie to shut him up and he passed out in my backseat while we waited for AAA. I thought about waking him up before I dropped him off, but I wasn’t in the mood. I stopped at his front porch, woke him up nicely and drove off before he could realize he just got dumped.

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featuring music from: THE COASTS // BATTLE AVE. // THE NEW DIET // ELIJAH & THE MOON // JUST KIDS // THE MIAMI // TIME TRAVELS // THE WIGGLE ROOM // REGULAR FUCKED UP PEOPLE // HIDING BEHIND SOUND 21


KEATON HENSON AND OTHER WONDERS OF THE WORLD by queen karen edith millar Exciting things that have happened since we ‘spoke’ last: 1) Keaton Henson hand wrote my name. Unfortunately it was not the letter-form marriage proposal I have been expecting for quite some time now; but it WAS on a gift tag attached to the packaged up bundle of the British artist’s new release. The Lucky EP is, in my (the most important) opinion, Henson’s best release to date. Check out ‘To Your Health’ and ask yourselves why we all of us in our early twenties cannot be as wonderfully talented/tortured as he. 2) I saw Shlohmo at PS1 in Long Island City and it was awesome; the original hipster trap. More ironic facial hair than one could shake a stick at. 3) I’ve dropped so much weight that my ring slipped off of my wedding finger and fell down a gutter whilst I was in the process of trying and failing to hail a cab. I realise this is not music related; but that’s some pretty significant shit if you’re going to go down the semantical analysis route. And I guess the stress induced shrinking is kind of related to working in music 22


PR in Tribeca; so it’s a justified anecdote. (It’s actually closer to Chinatown but I wanted to sound glamorous.) 4) The test pressing for the Dumb Talk release arrived and it is fucking awesome. Be excited bitches #miscreantrecords4lyf 5) After a decade-ish of waiting to see Sigur Ros I finally did at the Osheaga festival in Montreal and it was wonderful; despite all the Canadians. 6) I discovered (credit to Jeanette during our very important, top secret ‘Meeting of The Miscreants i.e. we talked about boys and ordered an vulgarly large pizza) Nutter Butter cookies and from now on shall be viewing the world in an infinitely better light. 7) Godspeed You! Black Emperor are playing in the City next month and I’m now planning on creative ways to solicit myself in order to fund the 75 buck ticket fee. Classy. And one not so exciting thing: I dreamt Justin Vernon died in the middle of a set and now feel as thought I should seek some sort of cognitive therapy. I’m currently consoling myself by listening to For Emma, Forever Ago on vinyl. I’m healthy like that. Peace out bitches; as ever feel free to follow me going about my everyday tasks on Twitter - @karenmillar British Miscreant’s Playlist 8/17 1) Comes In Waves - PSYCHOLOGIST (Shout out to the Doctors Miscreant!) 2) July - YOUTH LAGOON 3) Outro For NYC - VONDELPARK 4) Brains - LOWER DENS 5) The Dream - THEE OH SEES 6) Fjogur Piano - SIGUR ROS (If only at least to see a naked Shia LaBeuof in the video.) 7) Landslide - FLEETWOOD MAC 8) Make It Gold - OHBIJOU 9) Big Feelings - SHLOHMO 10) Lift Yr. Skinny Fists, Like Antennas to Heaven... - GODSPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR 23


WANT MORE MISCREANT? My Miscreants, So much is afoot in the Miscreant world as of late! First off, I’d like to extend a huge thank you to Ear Candy for gracing the cover. It’s amazing how long ago it seems I was just tweeting back and forth with these guys, talking Swear And Shake and favorite scenes from The Parent Trap. I had the rare and extremely rewarding opportunity of being a guest on their show a few weeks ago. The episode will be up soon, I am told, so you can enjoy some pretty hilarious miscreant banner. The Miscreant will also be hosting a monthly portion of their show where we’ll pick artists for the boys to play. A lot of good stuff is in the mix! I always say this, but I really mean it: each issue of the Miscreant just keeps getting better and better. Thank you guys so much for submitting your work and reading each issue. It means absolutely everything to me, and I’m overjoyed each week we put one of these bad boys out. The amount of awesome music I’ve been learning about through you all has filled my heart and my hard drive -- I wouldn’t have it any other way. Speaking of, I’d like to highlight this issue’s Single Of The Week! Joshua Michael Robinson and I have been friends for several years, and it is wonderful to see him putting out this album. Please be sure to check it out; Intentions will blow you away! In other Miscreant news, you’ll see we have received the test pressing of Dumb Talk’s self-titled LP. It’s on coke bottle clear, and we’ll also have some baby blue copies for you to feast your ears and eyes on. The release date is at the end of August, and the boys are playing their album release show with the Babies at the start of September. So, stay tuned for more details on these exciting developments! So, it’s time to submit your work for issue 27! Send your summer make out playlist, your love letter to Mac McCaughan, your interview with your favorite local band, whatever you have to say about the tunes you groove to. Email your work, as well as any questions you might have about the Miscreant, to themiscreant@miscreantrecords.com. And don’t forget to check out the bands, films, and podcasts featured in this issue! Look to miscreantrecords.com and the Miscreant Facebook for more info on the music you read about here and more. My undying love and affection, The Miscreant


The Miscreant - Issue 26