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In  this  issue

JULY 18, 2013 COLUMNS

o metIrRIT SP

INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHOES

04 06 07

METRONEWS AUGUSTA TEK CROSSWORD FEATURE

08 10 11 14

EVENTS CALENDAR SIGHTINGS JENNY IS WRIGHT ART 45

18 23 24 25

SLAB THE 8

26 29

WHINE LINE

30

WHINE LINE With all the fuss about this Zimmerman/Martin thing being a racial issue, I guess it’s between Hispanics and Blacks, because Zimmerman ain’t white. To all the those upset with once a wek trash pick

up- you all just got spoiled - after living all over this and other countries never have I seen anywhere where household trash was collected more then once a week... Libertarians. They’re

basically just the John Birch Society with worse haircuts. Wait a minute - there’s another atheist in this town besides myself? I guess miracles really do happen (lol)! Well, now there’s at least two people in the C.S.R.A. that have common

sense, think critically, listen to scientific fact, and question everything. Anybody want to go for the #3 position on that list? With the overabundance of religious articles printed as “news”, the Augusta daily has turned into a Sunday

Bulletin. In the local grocery store, the other day, five Mexican’s were speaking Spanish. I told them, they were in the USA, to speak English and they could not understand me (continued on page 30)

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

BrittanyKolar|graphic designer brittany@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter|senior account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

AmyChristian|arts editor/production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com

JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

14 08 12 16

Enough Already!: Rain impacts area in several different ways

In the Hole!: Augusta Training Shop fundraiser grows into annual event Postponing Peril: Commissioner’s musician son kickstarts creation of historic preservation board Join Up: Help SORBA-CSRA save the canal singletrack trail.

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU MichaelJRKQVRQ_VLJKWLQJV‡ValerieEmericN_ZULWHU‡AmyPerkins|editorial interQ‡LauraPerr\_YROXQWHHU‡KristinHawkins|editorial intern Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling | TJ Kuehn | Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Jenny Wright

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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IN

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER

Giveaway Insiders are bewildered by the recent news that CADI (led by Morris Man Bob Kuhar) donated their (downtown taxpayers’) money to charity. Add to that the proposal that would institute a new tax on downtown property owners to pay for a beefed-‐up police presence, all while the city is considering investing $2.2 million into the Patch and turning over management to Morris Man Paul Simon and First Tee, and you’ve got a true head scratcher. As one downtown property owner stated, “These people should be institutionalized!” The CADI was approved by the property owners and the program failed miserably. While there are a vocal minority who were/are staunchly behind the program, the ones who footed the bill (the large property owners) are outraged. The city of Augusta has a downtown as well as slums, upscale neighborhoods, housing projects, power retail centers and many other areas. Singling out an area with such a dense amount of businesses for higher taxes is ass backwards. Without Broad Street, the city would be just another dot on the map, a land of strip malls, franchise restaurants and everything every other town has. Downtown should be focused on by the leaders of this city, not treated like a pain in the rear. And that $27,000 the CADI board gave away to plant trees and fund some landscaping? It would have paid for 1,500 hours of sheriff department “specials” or devoted one full-‐time deputy to the downtown area. The ones who footed the majority of the fund are plenty pissed. Look for repercussions to come.

The Nuclear Option Though it’s not surprising that the Savannah River Site’s Citizens Advisory Board is pretty much split regarding whether or not SRS should receive waste from nuclear reactors (it voted 12-‐10 in opposition), what is surprising is how little the surrounding area seems to care. It’s easy to dismiss a divided board — especially a divided advisory board without much power — as a humorous bunch of busybodies, but this is an important discussion with far-‐reaching implications. Does SRS invite the chance to become Yucca Mountain East by opening itself up to the idea of accepting commercial nuclear waste? Or does it say it doesn’t want to be a part of the process, something that could cost it — and the area — clout and jobs and a bucket load of money? These are tough issues with complicated answers, yet those who seem to be interested in what’s going on are often looked at with a smirk and a smile. Sure, the conversation draws its share of knee jerkers from both sides of the argument, but so does Project Jackson or the Patch. And though both of those issues could blow up, too, the wrong decision at SRS could impact all of us, and in many different ways.

Is It Time Yet? While Alvin Mason is busy providing the I’s in commission (he has no problem providing both) and Hardie Davis is in Atlanta talking about establishing an office of cultural affairs here in Augusta and Corey Johnson is trying to figure out how to be pro-‐Augusta without looking like another Deke, Helen Blocker-‐Adams is quietly out there in the community doing that thing she does, which is being positive and connecting with people. Though she will forcefully tell you she is running for mayor and then tell you what she’s going to do when she wins, she is doing it in the least aggressive way possible, and she’s doing it one on one. Grassroots campaigning at a grassroots level. In a typical campaign she might not warrant a second look, since people tend to like their politicians pugnacious or tragic or heroic or unhinged, but with the potential for a field crowded with just such characters, her name recognition and her place in the community and the fact that she seems so darn nice might be sufficient to win her enough backlash votes to be a factor. She came close once. Perhaps she can do it again.

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Great Art

On apathy, George Zimmerman and Weezer

Most people of my generation will be able, years and years from now — early-‐onset Alzheimer’s or rage-‐induced dementia notwithstanding — to remember where they were on several monumental occasions: the 9/11 attacks (I was in homeroom during high school); when Barack Obama was elected president (I was hanging out in an ex’s apartment, drinking Ayinger Celebrator); when Barry Bonds hit home run number 756 (I was, like most baseball fans, howling with impotent fury at the television). We can now add another one to the list. For my part, I was at a beer tasting with some friends when I saw — on Twitter, because of course on Twitter — that George Zimmerman had be acquitted of all charges involving the — and I’m being kind here — straight-‐up murder of 14-‐year-‐old Trayvon Martin. There’s definitely some merit in the parallels to be found between being six samples deep while finding out about the outcome of one of the nation’s most high-‐profile murder trials of the last century and what was obviously either a drunken, or retarded, or drunken and retarded jury, but whatever. Find out about it through our culture’s most hyperactive, omnipresent and quick-‐to-‐ gratify social media outlet, though… that has, let’s say, some implications. The week was not otherwise devoid of horrible news, either. In Texas, GOP lawmakers passed, effectively, an anti-‐woman bill closing all but five abortion clinics in the continental United States’ largest state, banning abortions after 20 weeks, and all but guaranteeing that women seeking abortions outside these strict and vindictive parameters will risk causing themselves irreparable physical and psychological harm. Indiana made it illegal to perform same-‐sex marriage ceremonies. Another one of Rand Paul’s staffers was outed as a white supremacist, because Rand Paul doesn’t understand karma or the internet. If there’s some comfort to be taken in any of these cases — the Zimmerman trial and the whole Texas debacle, specifically — it’s that these will almost certainly be challenged at the federal level the instant they take effect, and will likely be struck down, a la Prop 8 and DOMA. It should nevertheless be little comfort that our cultural climate is such that leaders and laymen alike can get away with BS like this — bonus awfulness: Erik Erickson today posted a link on Twitter to a website where you can buy coathangers and then referred liberals to it — but the belief, the faith in logic and reasoning (and, to some extent, precedent) that everything will round itself out has a sort of rhetorical gravitational pull all its own. It is a difficult comfort to shun. And here’s where Weezer comes in, particularly their 2001 effort “The Green Album.” In terms of fan reaction, while it’s not as reviled as, say, everything since “Maladroit,” (not long before Rivers Cuomo decided that every day was Halloween and that he was going to go as Elvis Costello), it struck something of a raw nerve.

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6

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

It’s hard to say exactly why, but I think the gist of it is this: it was the band’s first album after a five-‐year hiatus that followed “Pinkerton,” still their most critically — to be fair, retrospectively — acclaimed album, and still something of an anomaly in their discography. Probably Cuomo’s most personal collection of songs, it took the slightly saccharine, tongue-‐in-‐cheekiness of the band’s self-‐titled debut and took it to a slightly dark, more sardonic realm. Opinion of the album is still fluctuating — blind idol worship notwithstanding — but that’s the true mark of a great and difficult piece of art, and the album’s legacy is secure in large part due to that. “The Green Album” is, for the most part, everything that “Pinkerton” is not: devoid of frills, unabashedly hooky and absolutely slathered in wet bubblegum. It’s smart, sure, and a bit subversive — lead single “Hash Pipe” contains a couple of lines about a transvestite hooker — but the album is, on the whole, something of a digestif after the rabbit-‐hole pop-‐rock mindf*** that was “Pinkerton.” And I’m not sure what it says about me — and, I think, many, many more — that this is my favorite Weezer record. I like the simple math of it, its nary-‐a-‐hanging-‐thread personality (“Sweater Song” reference intended); in most of the songs, Cuomo’s solos are little else but the song’s primary melody, run through a distortion filter. Music like this, art like this, constitutes something so reassuringly formulaic, it’s easy to live outside of it, even as its creators had to immerse themselves in it to the point of suffocation. It’s difficult not to think we’re going through something similar right now. The general nationwide apathy that seems a proper diagnosis at this point has become the three-‐minute pop song; specific incidents — Republicans’ war against women, the Martin shooting and Zimmerman’s subsequent acquittal — are the gnarly solos, and we are not surprised. But again: great art is subversive, is sneaky in its plan of attack; so too are important periods of history. Retrospect, it follows, is sobering. One, two, 20 years from now, we’ll realize how lazy we were. For now, though, I’m simply reminded of a scene from the end of a chapter in Ben Percy’s “Red Moon.” In the midst of the word’s end, a protagonist has a girl up on the sink, furiously, unthinkingly railing away at her. The entire time, he is staring at himself in the mirror, unblinking — seeing, and not feeling a thing.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-‐intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

MONEY

DOESN’T

GROW ON  TREES (Although some local tree services must believe it does according to their estimates!)

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Strange Dichotomy Emerges in Controversy We have all been Trayvon-‐ed and Zimmerman-‐ed to death. Lord knows that everyone from the President of the United States to the chief pepperoni guy at Pizza Hut has had a microphone shoved in his face asking for analysis, which is then usually analyzed itself by network TV mouthpieces, before being summed up in the form of an instant online push-‐poll, and then repackaged for more review from the Vice President of the United States and the assistant mushroom manager at Dominoes. Over all the noise, over all the confusion, I hope this generation can embrace at least two quite valuable and very different concepts from this case that are both vital to future American domestic peace and the integrity of our growing communities from coast to coast. First and foremost: There is no reason to settle a disagreement, or even an aggressive insult, with violence, ever. None. As you can well imagine, I am approached often as I am out in the public by people who disagree with one of my many controversial political stands or social commentaries. If you have lived in Augusta long enough, I have either pissed off you, or someone you know or love, royally, and usually, if pressed, I am more than happy to repeat the comments, and to include any “horses that may have been ridden in on.” I have worn the other shoe as well. I have come face to face with people who have said horrible things about me, threatening my livelihood, my reputation and, yes, even

my family and associates. People who not only want me off the air, and out of this newspaper, but put in a cell somewhere forced to listen to Tavis Smiley on a 24-‐hour loop, all while being physically tortured by Janet Reno, forever. I don’t mean to brag, but if bringing out hatred in people was an Olympic sport, I could make Mark Spitz and Michael Phelps look like pikers. Of course I have never, and I mean never, lowered myself to throwing a punch over such issues. Only twice has anyone ever come close to taking a swing at me (that I know of), and both times the guys in question were drunk. That is pretty impressive peace-‐keeping for a man who has been “stirring the pudding” for over 21 years in the same city. How have I managed to survive intact, unscathed, and unchallenged? I can account for my own good behavior, but, for the most part, I tend to stay safe because I don’t hang out in stupid places, around stupid people, doing stupid things, at stupid hours. The moral of the story: if Augusta’s most obnoxious media personality can avoid fist fights, brawls and gunplay as an everyday way of life, how moronic must the “regular” people of the world be who can’t? Yes, sticks and stones can break someone’s bones, but if you think words are a legitimate reason to start swinging those sticks and throwing those stones, then you should just admit to yourself and to the world that you are a Neanderthal mouth-‐

breather, whose best gift to the universe would be a short lifespan with no children left behind. Now, the irony... The second important concept given to us via Martin-‐Zimmerman, that we should collectively embrace, is the need to defend our homes and neighborhoods, as strongly and aggressively as the law allows, at all times. Should a suspicious man, woman or child be physically attacked when noticed to be clearly out of place within a given community? Of course not. But you better believe they should be approached, challenged if need be and clearly informed that they are under neighborhood observation if they refuse to communicate or cooperate. Populated neighborhoods do not tend to go sour overnight. Bad elements, questionable visitors and gang activity tend to creep in gradually. If concerned neighbors unite and quickly inform interlopers that they are being watched, catalogued and reported to the police, usually the troublemakers move on to less aggressive areas, where complacency, laziness and malaise have replaced community pride and diligence. Evil almost always takes the path of least resistance. The neighborhood where Trayvon Martin met his end did not have a reputation for being aggressively policed. George Zimmerman and his “watch group” were trying to change that. If Martin had survived the interaction with Zimmerman, no doubt the trouble that ensued would have still gotten the word out pretty seriously that “those people ain’t messing around,” which is exactly what you want from any neighborhood watch program. Zimmerman’s gated community was

not made up of mansions, but of the townhomes of the working middle class. These people are far more offended by property crimes than rich people, who can easily afford to replace anything that a burglar can snatch away. Zimmerman’s neighbors worked hard for what they have, and their outrage at the spike in property crimes they had experienced was real and painful. I wish they had drawn their line in the sand earlier, in a way that even Trayvon could have gotten the message that skulking around looking like a thug in that neighborhood was not a good thing for a smart guy to do. Clearly, he did not know that. The Retreat at Twin Lakes should have invested in some serious signage, and perhaps even a mandatory community covenant that all residents would have to sign, acknowledging that their streets were being aggressively patrolled, and that failure to cooperate with said patrols would result in an immediate call to the police, and that the summoned law enforcement personnel could be expected to handle the situation further. Had Trayvon Martin been made aware of such a policy, I doubt he would have made the same choices he did that fateful night.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

www.juliewilliamsmd.com | 706.723.1061 7013 Evans Town Center Drive Suite 202 | Evans, GA 30809 18JULY2013

AUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989  

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ERICJOHNSON

In the Hole!

Augusta Training Shop fundraiser grows into annual event As anyone who’s ever gone to the Augusta Training Shop’s Derby Day knows, Audrey Murell knows how to throw a party. The yearly Kentucky Derby-‐themed fundraiser is one of the year’s most sought-‐after tickets, and she wants her Cornhole Challenge to be the same. Now in its second year, the bag toss tournament, which she bills as a kickoff to tailgate season, has undergone some changes that she hopes will ratchet up the fun. “Each team gets to bring two spectators that don’t have to pay to get in,” says Murell, who’s executive director of the nonprofit work center that employs physically and mentally challenged adults to repair and refinish furniture. “They don’t get to eat like the players do — they have to pay for their own food — but we wanted the teams to have a rooting section.” Another change from last year — it’s double elimination, which means players get to have twice the fun. And while corporate sponsors are still able to decorate a board with their company logo, the look and feel of the boards will be different this year. Made from stain-‐ grade wood and painted black around the edges, the regulation-‐sized boards will have a uniform look, even down to the corporate logos. The Training Shop’s 25 employees earn money by taking on furniture projects brought in by the community, and while the recession has not left them untouched, because their business provides a service, it’s tailor made for weathering periods of economic uncertainty. “You keep your furniture, but you do something to make it look better,” Murell says. “Better paint or a better finish. Basically, things have more sentimental value here.” And while the public has shown they appreciate the Training Shop’s craftsmanship, the public has also shown that they believe in the cause as well. Last year’s Derby Day set a record for attendance and corporate sponsorships, with close to 500 people attending the party. The fall fundraiser, called Lock Stock and Barrel, is moving from Pinetucky Gun Club to the river in North Augusta and will have everything from various forms of skeet shooting to activity fields with cornhole, horseshoes and slingshots. And possibly eclipsing all of this are the snowflakes they’re just beginning to sell. Debuted with four different styles at their Christmas party last year, the snowflakes, which are made from the same seat weaving material they use to fix chairs and stools, now come in 64 distinct — and named — varieties. “We tested a lot more than 64 to see what 8

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

looks good and what doesn’t look good,” she says. “What we’re in the process of doing now is getting every single snowflake on our website and priced so that people can go to our website and order them — especially people from around the United States.” Last year, the snowflakes appeared in the “Garden & Gun” blog, which took the fledgling fundraiser to a large, national audience that she’s anxious to approach again. “They’re so pretty you could keep them up all the time,” she says. “And it’s amazing that they’re made from the same material that we weave seats and stools with.” Not only that, but they are all made by the same employee, who’s nonverbal, yet an excellent weaver. “We showed him the design and he did it,” she says. “Right now he does them all, but I’m in the process of training other employees to do it, too.” Before she moves too far with that, however, she’s focusing on promoting the Cornhole Challenge. “A team is $110, which is the same as it was last year, and sponsors who contribute $250 get their logo on one board,” she says. “If they donate $500 they get their logos on two boards, get spots for one team and receive two boards to take home.” The first place winner takes home $500, bragging rights and the satisfaction of helping continue the Training Shop’s mission. According the Murell, one of the best things about the tournament and the snowflakes is how closely they reflect their work. “It just fits,” she says. “We make the boards and the snowflakes and we’re a wood business. It fits perfectly.” Cornhole Challenge The Exhibit Hall of the James Brown Arena Saturday, August 3 2 p.m. $110 for two-‐person team; $10 spectator admission augustatrainingshop.com/cornhole

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GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Did You Ever Notice?

Everyone is different… even nerds who work with computers

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A colleague of mine and I were up at an Atlanta data center this past week installing some hardware when we made an interesting observation. That observation is that everyone is different. I know, I know… what a brilliant revelation, Greg! But hang with me for a second. When you see a group of people in their normal work environment, there is a certain amount of conformity that occurs. Politicians generally speak more vibrantly than the situation requires, trade professionals tend to give the impression they would be much happier hunting or fishing, and, at the Metro Spirit, the smell of fried tofu and incense is unmistakable. Okay, just kidding on that last one… that’s just Josh Ruffin’s area, but you get my drift. Like it or not, many professions and professionals are identified by superficial characteristics. Getting back to the data center, we weren’t able to discern a single characteristic that seemed to stand out. (Other than the fact that I suspect many folks would group us all under the major subcategory of “nerds,” but that’s just too easy.) Watching the folks come in and out of the building, there were people of different shapes, different sizes, different colors and different nationalities. Had we inadvertently discovered a state of utopian diversity? Alas, we thought we had, until… We noticed the tattoo. While tattoos have become commonplace, for whatever reason, most IT folks still prefer the clean canvas. There is one exception to the rule, and we both spotted it immediately. If you see an IT professional with a tattoo, chances are they install cabling — ethernet or fiber. From there, the sub-‐professions began to stand out and our utopian universe collapsed. If you see an IT professional with a lot of gadgets on their belt, this professional probably specializes in hardware and facilities operations. Are they wearing horned-‐rimmed glasses and dressed with a bit of style? Probably a software developer. Do they display a liberal use of hair gel? Probably a web developer using Java. Hair gel, but no glasses? Then web developer using .Net. How about a neatly dressed professional with minimal style or a company logo shirt? These are the server and network support folks. If they are clean-‐shaven, almost certainly Windows server. A goatee indicates a network professional. Full beard and a guru look? Linux server most definitely. And this is the one that gets me in the most trouble. If you encounter a lady in an IT environment, while this is not completely true — I’ve known some very brilliant engineers who also happened to be female — chances are she is in marketing or sales. So if you ever find yourself at a data center, and you are able to get by the whole nerd thing, don’t be overwhelmed by the diversity. It’s a universe no different than others. Different people fill different roles to ensure the Internet keeps us all connected. Until next time, I’m off the grid. @gregory_a_baker

WWW.AUGUSTAGA.GOV/GREEN 10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. 18JULY2013


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ERICJOHNSON

BONUS FEATURES By Joel Fagliano / Edited by Will Shortz

97 -‐-‐-‐ 99 -‐-‐-‐ 100 What the hyphen in an emoticon often represents 101 Nonstandard: Abbr. 103 John Belushi catchphrase 105 Miner’s aid 107 Gold units: Abbr. 108 Minimalist’s philosophy 110 Dean Martin classic 113 Asian wild ass 115 Miner’s aid 117 Baby ___ 119 Pitching awards 121 Spirited? 126 Mythical con man 127 Neighbor of Somalia 128 Will-‐o’-‐the-‐wisp feature 129 God wounded by Diomedes in the “Iliad” 130 Glove material 131 It’s not good when it’s outstanding 132 Exiled character in “King Lear” 133 Recharge, say 134 -‐-‐-‐ DOWN 1 President who was not elected 2 Oscar feature subject since 2001 3 Snowbird’s vehicle, maybe 4 Toughen 5 Preacher’s exhortation 6 It’s known for its big busts 7 Repeat word for word 8 Words of faux innocence 9 “Freaky Friday” co-‐star 10 Bauxite, e.g. 11 Highway caution 12 Something punched into an A.T.M.: Abbr. 13 Hotel amenity 14 Skipjacks and others 15 Chowderhead 16 What’s not yet due? 17 ___ McGarry, chief of staff on “The West Wing” 18 The U.S. banned it in 1968 22 Second or tenth, in a way 28 Gray 31 Numerical prefix 33 Oldest desert in the world 34 Environmental extremists’ acts 36 The “you” of “Here’s to you!” 37 Cheer for

38 Used a keyhole, in a way 39 Neighbor of Dagwood, in the funnies 41 What the winged woman is holding in the Emmy statuette 43 Blog nuisances 46 World’s smallest island nation 48 Fastener with two nuts 49 Equivalence 51 Treat like a pharaoh? 55 Transform 59 Retailer that sells grasshoppers as food 62 -‐-‐-‐ 65 College near Philadelphia 67 “Go on …” 70 Gymnasium decorations 71 Cool 72 Question to a poker player 73 Adjust, as a satellite dish 74 Tease 75 Go after 76 Where the Code of Hammurabi is displayed 82 What’s up? 84 How some N.F.L. games are resolved 85 Many an action movie villain 87 Entered violently 88 U.S.S. Ward, e.g. 89 They’re not on your side 91 Headlines, as a band 94 Cussed 98 One who doesn’t give tough love, say 102 Legend 104 Siouan speaker 106 White rapper with two #1 hits 109 -‐-‐-‐ 111 Sunny? 112 -‐-‐-‐ 114 Twinkle 116 Stick on the range? 118 Barely manages, with “out” 120 Old German duchy name 121 Digs 122 Parrot 123 Take the wrong way? 124 Important no. for car buyers 125 What this puzzle may make you say

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PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

ACROSS 1 Hall-‐of-‐___ 6 Cry like a baby 10 Evolve 15 Zodiac animal 19 Combined 20 Spanish skating figure 21 Long rides? 23 Suddenly smiled broadly 24 “This might get ugly” 25 Like a mischief-‐maker 26 -‐-‐-‐ 27 Polite denial 29 Sgt. Friday’s force 30 Philosopher Hannah 32 It may purr or roar 35 “Zip it!” 39 Archaic verb suffix 40 Prefix with byte 42 Pass 44 -‐-‐-‐ 45 Front part of a chimera 47 Prankster 50 -‐-‐-‐ 52 Spell caster 53 N.Y.C. tourist attraction 54 Sign of pressure? 56 Get ___ (fight) 57 Battle of the ___, 1914 58 Best 60 -‐-‐-‐ 61 Sun spot? 63 An extremity 64 ___ judicata (decided case) 66 Tick off 68 Grab, with “onto” 69 Extremity 70 Infomercial line … with a hint to 10 answers in this puzzle 75 Where the Confederate flag was first flown: Abbr. 77 Cereal box title 78 It’s a lock 79 It’s uplifting 80 Sequel title starter 81 Synthetic fiber 83 Provide with cornrows, e.g. 86 Lines on a staff 90 Belted out 92 15-‐Across, in Spanish 93 “Love the Way You Lie” rapper 95 Snack item that’s round on both ends? 96 Former Chevy subcompact

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ERICJOHNSON

Postponing the Peril

Commissioner’s musician son kickstarts creation of historic preservation board

Columbia County Commissioner Bill Morris was a history major in college, so he knows a thing or two about the subject. And though he’s always been interested in protecting the county’s historical resources, it took his son, musician T. Hardy Morris, to get him focused on formalizing a way to preserve historic sites in Columbia County. The younger Morris’ Places in Peril project, which is part of a larger project run by the Georgia Trust for Historic Preservation, had him filming acoustic versions of his songs at properties identified by the Georgia Trust as historically significant structures in need of repair as well as awareness. You can’t get more awareness than a video on a musician’s website. The project so inspired Bill Morris that he spearheaded the creation of a historic preservation advisory committee for Columbia County. “We’re doing these things all over the state, and in Columbia County we weren’t really doing anything ourselves, and that sort of prompted me to say, ‘Well, we need to do our part, too,” Morris says. Though historic properties aren’t necessarily the first things you think about in a county known for its explosive growth, Morris, a retired Columbia County schools administrator, says there are plenty of places of note in the county. Not only can he trace his own family’s presence in Columbia County to 1790, he’s spent a good deal of time in the

historical room of the courthouse in Appling researching other local history. He says that while the county does have a historical society, the group is limited in what they can do. “I felt this would be a step in the right direction for maybe raising the visibility and making people more aware,” he says. “One day I’d like to maybe move forward the idea of historical preservation in a museum, whether it’s in a stand-‐alone building or something that’s an annex to the library in Evans. I think there’s a lot in Columbia County history in attics and closets because we really don’t have a place, somewhere to catalog and archive all that.” The first step, however, is the formation of the advisory committee, which would begin to identify sites throughout the county that require preservation or protection. Say a developer wants to open up a tract of land and the committee has already identified an abandoned cemetery there. Morris says the committee would make the commission aware that they should consider avenues to protect the area around the cemetery. Even without the advisory board, there are examples where developers have protected certain pieces of property. At the back entrance of Jones Creek there is a grave in the middle of the road, and a similar situation exists at Keg Point off of Washington Road. “There are some other examples where developers were not as conscientious about preserving that kind

of thing,” Morris says. “But I think we, as a local government, have a responsibility to try to look out for these types of things.” Though the advisory committee would be appointed by the commissioners similar to the way other boards are assembled, it would only be an advisory board, meaning the commission would retain the power to enforce the recommendations. Morris also says the historical society has been working with Planning and Zoning to make the area around the Appling courthouse, which is the county’s most concentrated area of historical properties, a historic preservation node. “They’re working on it now,” he says. “They’re actually looking at a circle around the courthouse. You’ve got the old jail there across the street and then you’ve got the old school, and there are some pretty neat little houses there in Appling as well.” The younger Morris’ musical career has taken him all over the world as a member of Dead Confederate, while his Places in Peril project has placed him in some of Georgia’s most threatened historic properties, like the Chattahoochee Park Pavilion in Gainesville, Central State Hospital in Milledgeville, the Ritz Theater in Thomaston and the Rock House in Thomson. His father wants to make sure there’s no place for his son to sing in Columbia County but the Lady Antebellum Amphitheater.

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ERICJOHNSON

Enough Already!

Photo Credit: Yonathan James

Rain impacts area in several different ways

No doubt about it — this has been one lousy year for a staycation. Heavy rains. Flash flood warnings. A swiftly rising river. It’s almost enough to make you yearn for the drought. “It’s been bad for students out of school who haven’t had a summer — and the teachers,” says Columbia County EMA Director Pam Tucker. “Hopefully, most of them had vacations in sunny places away from here, but a lot of people can’t afford to be going too far, and if you went to Myrtle Beach or Savannah, you caught it, too. It has not been good.” The numbers are somewhat deceiving. Though the official 10.8 inches of rain in June was the highest on record, the isolated severity of the storms mean that some areas have received even more than that. And that’s just June. Tucker says that since June 30, some areas have received more than a foot of rain. “I’ve been in this area for 40 years, and I’ve never seen anything like this,” says Bill Clayton, Columbia County’s water utility director. “This is more than unusual.” Tucker, who has 35 years of emergency management experience spread across Richmond and Columbia counties, says this year has been one of the most challenging. “Back in the 1990s we went through a time where it seemed like it rained every day and we had the same kind of situation with flooding,” she says. “But situations like this are few and far between, and people end up getting complaisant. You just have to remember that things can change quickly and you can have these downpours and get several inches.” All this rain comes at a cost, of course, and the impact of that cost — measured in damaged property, lost work, canceled events and a host of other ways — will be felt for weeks to come. In many cases, the scope has yet to be fully realized. 14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

“As far as the day-‐to-‐day cost at this point, we probably don’t have a great grasp of that yet, simply because from what I’ve seen, we’ve sort of managed with what we’ve got at this point,” says Administrator Fred Russell. “We do know that it’s cost us some money, particularly with the Southern Nationals being canceled. That’s economic impact we’ll lose.” For the first time in 28 years, the popular drag boat race scheduled for July 19-‐21 on the Savannah River was canceled because of the high, swift water. “I think it reminds you that Mother Nature can be a hard phenomenon to deal with,” Russell says. Others right now might choose a less diplomatic word to describe Mother Nature. Still, with the Southern Nationals canceled and the Savannah Riverkeeper’s annual Paddlefest fundraiser rescheduled, river events have not fared well this year. Augusta Sports Council CEO Brinsley Thigpen admits that sometimes nature wins, but she insists things are still moving forward for area’s most significant sporting event other than the Masters: the ESi Ironman 70.3 Augusta, a portion of which puts 3,000 swimmers into the Savannah River. “We have over two and a half months before that happens,” she says. “I’m not worried about it. I have thought about it, obviously, but I think we’ll be okay.” The weeks of downpours worked to fill the chain of reservoirs along the Savannah River, and for the first time since 2007 the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers was able to test the floodgates of each of the dams. The dramatic 18JULY2013


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sight brought hundreds of people to the Strom Thurmond Dam area, although the high river levels shortened the planned release. Even before the release, the river had overrun the downriver dams. The lower section of the Riverwalk was eventually closed as water overtook the Jesse Norman Amphitheatre and the marina. And while the river rose, the seemingly constant barrage of isolated thunderstorms caused localized flooding throughout the city. “We haven’t had many problems at all from a traffic standpoint, but the other side of the river has been dealing with some flooding issues and a clogged storm drain here and there,” says Augusta’s assistant director of traffic engineering Steve Cassell. “But really, given how much rain we’ve had, we’ve been doing remarkably well.” However, the rain is preventing a lot of work from being accomplished. Though most of Cassell’s major projects are in the bidding phase or under design, projects like the Georgia Department of Transportation’s widening of Wrightsboro Road have slowed to a crawl. And the regular, ongoing maintenance projects have been severely affected as well. “We can’t fill potholes in the rain and we can’t stripe roads in the rain,” he says. “There are a lot of maintenance activities that we do on a daily basis that are being pushed off.” When the heavy rains do overrun the storm sewers and flood an intersection, Cassell says it’s the Sheriff’s Department that takes the lead by closing the intersection. “You basically block the road off, wait and it drains off,” he says. “Everything I’ve seen so far eventually drains. By the time we mobilize, get barricades out and close it down, the water’s gone.” Some areas, however, are continually plagued with flooding issues, though the solutions aren’t always popular. Two years ago, Columbia County drew considerable criticism for a drainage project in Springlakes. Many residents of the Martinez subdivision thought the project was excessive and unsightly. Over the last few weeks, that area has been one of the hardest hit, and according to Clayton, who steered the project through the contentious neighborhood association meetings, the construction performed as it was designed to. “All in all, it held up well and did just what it was supposed to do,” he says. “They had several significant events in there over that time period and the water didn’t go across the top of the roads. That was the intent of what we did up there.” The Springlakes situation serves to illustrate just how touchy issues involving rain and runoff can be. 18JULY2013

“Stormwater issues, particularly when you have the kind of rains we’ve been having, become hot issues in a hurry because people are affected by them,” Clayton says. “And there’s a little strip that runs from the Crawford Creek area through Springlakes and over to the West Lake area that just seems to attract those heavy thunderstorms.” The term “hundred year event” has been thrown around quite a bit lately, though Clayton says it’s a little misleading. Basically, it’s just a way of saying that you stand a one percent chance in every one year of having a rain event of that magnitude. “But doggone it, we’ve had quite a few of them,” he says. “I know one place one night that got five and a half inches of rain in 45 minutes. You’re probably looking at a 250 year event there for that one spot.” Clayton recommends people who haven’t flooded take a practical look at how their home is located versus the road. If the road were to pond, he asks, would you flood? “Flood insurance is cheap, but it is really expensive if you don’t have it,” he says. Tucker, who was already conducting a flood insurance awareness campaign when the stormy weather hit, says it’s not too late to purchase flood insurance. “It’s going to happen again,” she says. “It’s too late for what’s already happened, but go ahead — it’s 30 days to go into effect, but we’ve still got a lot of hurricane season left.” Tucker estimates that between 911, 311, email and phone calls, Columbia County has received over 100 notifications about flooding issues. Even some swimming pools have collapsed due to the saturated ground. Though the rain pattern seems to be dissipating, Tucker warns that the longer we have the wet weather, the less severe the weather has to be to be destructive. “Normally, it would take a wind gust of severe thunderstorm strength, which is 58 miles an hour or greater, to topple a tree, but we wouldn’t have to have anything to that level now,” she says. “A 15-‐25 mile an hour gust could do it.” And because the ground is saturated, the water that does fall quickly runs off into storm drains and creeks. The Augusta Canal, which starts at the Headgates at Columbia County’s Savannah Rapids Pavilion and supplies most of Augusta’s drinking water, receives water from three separate tributaries in addition to the Savannah River — Reed Creek, Rock Creek and Rae’s Creek. “When we’ve got a lot of excess flow coming in though the creeks, then we have to adjust the gates at the front end to reduce the amount of water we’re taking in from the river,” says Allen Saxon, assistant director of facility operations for the Augusta Utilities. “It’s just a little bit more of a balancing AUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989  

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act. It makes it a little bit more challenging.” During small rains, these adjustments might occur once a day, but during periods of heavy rains, they keep a close watch on the canal level, adjusting throughout the day as needed. Because of runoff, Saxon says the water during these periods tends to be more turbid, which requires a little longer retention time at the water treatment plant, though that time is easy to provide because of the decrease in water usage, since people aren’t watering their lawns. That irony works in the city’s favor in another way, too, since the high river reduces the distance between the canal and the river, limiting the mechanical energy generated at the pumping station and therefore reducing the amount of water they can pump. Again, the difference is negligible because the overall water needs are also reduced. For the Canal Authority, which generates its own power at Enterprise Mill and sells the surplus as well as the power produced by Sibley Mill to Georgia Power, the loss of production means it has less power to sell. “We’re producing less, so it’s less revenue,” says Dayton Sherrouse, executive director of the Augusta Canal Authority. “We’re producing less power, so come the end of the month, the amount of power we would have produced and sold to Georgia Power will be less.” Like the road projects that have been put on hold, the Canal Authority’s $1.5 million section of the River Levee Trail project has also been postponed. “Our trail construction project between Riverwatch and the river is basically underwater, so the contractor has pulled off and won’t be back on site until the water goes down and it dries out enough for him to get back in there and start working again,” Sherrouse says. Large contractors often have other jobs they can bounce

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between, but for many seasonal workers, the rain has dramatically shortened the window they have to make money. Some landscapers are reporting that they have been working their crews only two days a week, while exterior painters have also suffered because of the constant rain. “I think it’s affecting this economy a lot,” says Gerald Robinson, owner of Gerald Robinson Paint, which supplies contractors as well as homeowners. “I see what my last year’s sales were at this time, and though this year I’m up, it’s because of interior and new construction. As far as exterior paint, I can go back and it’s down 10 or 15 percent.” Some outdoor painters have gone inside, he says, while those who are strictly exterior painters are just staying home. “Or some of them go outside and paint in the rain,” he says. “I had one guy the other day say he was going out as soon as it stops raining, but it’s not good for the paint because the wood’s not dry. Moisture causes paint to peel.” The desire to rush the process comes from that short window the painter has to work with. “We depend on summertime to make up for wintertime because the temperature in the winter affects the paint,” he says. “They do make a paint that can go down to 35 degrees, but they haven’t made a paint that’s waterproof yet.” The rain has also wreaked havoc with Karen Gordon’s Candlelight Jazz program, which brings live jazz to the Riverwalk every Sunday during the warm months. In a regular season she suffers no more than three rainouts for 17 or 18 concerts,

DREWJORDAN

When I think about the current situation at the canal singletrack Trail, there’s an old adage that comes to mind. When it rains it pours. Or maybe even an old Milli Vanilli song. “Blame It on the Rain.” Either way you look at it, due to the massive amount of rainfall, the canal singletrack trail, and for that matter a lot of our local trails, will never be the same. There’s a spur on the canal trail known as Razor’s Edge that runs along the river. As everyone knows, the river rose to extremely high levels, and unfortunately took a sizeable section of Razor’s Edge downstream, making it impassable. Other damage to the trail includes extreme erosion, creating V-‐shaped channels on the tread. If the water has nowhere to go except down the trail, it turns into a chisel and literally cuts a trench on the tread. And it’s for these reasons that riders should always stay off of wet, muddy trails. It seems like a lot of fun, but it only escalates the damage. Now, we can’t lose hope. Eventually the rain will stop and eventually the trails will dry out. And this is where the unsung heroes come into play. We are very fortunate to have such a dedicated group of trail champions and an extremely active mountain bike organization in town: SORBA-‐CSRA. These are the guys and gals that assess the damage on the local trails and devise a plan of action to correct the problems. That being said, should anyone want to give back to the trails that give us all so many good bike rides, contact them. Once a plan is put in place, it’s going to take some manpower to get the trails back in good riding condition. This is every local mountain biker’s chance to earn their turn! Visit sorbacsra.org for more information.

16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

held on the River Stage at the end of 8th Street. This season she had three rainouts after only a quarter of the season had past. This last Sunday she was able to move into the Jessye Norman School of the Arts, and she says she’s moved the concerts to the Augusta Common for as long as the Riverwalk is closed. Still, though, she’s set up a weather hotline (762-‐ 233-‐5299) so people can call before they head downtown. At the canal, Sherrouse is dealing with more than power issues and delayed projects. The Canal Authority also manages the towpath and the bike trails, and while the towpath has weathered the rains okay, the single track mountain bike trail has suffered a major loss. A portion of one of the most scenic and challenging loops, called the Razor’s Edge, has caved off into the Savannah River because of the high water. “We’ve had to go up there and put some barricade tape around that section of the trail,” Sherrouse admitted. “Until the water gets down — and the corps is saying it’s going to be two to three weeks at these high levels — nothing can be done. Normally, when we talk about maintenance it’s somewhat minor, but these conditions creates a little bit more than minor problems.” David Kozlowski is president of SORBA CSRA, a mountain bike organization that helps maintain the area’s mountain bike trails, including the Razor’s Edge. Though he has yet to personally witness the damage, he says deciding what to do will likely require considerable deliberation. “Not everybody who goes out there actually knows about it because it’s not a main part of the trail,” he says. “It’s a side loop that over the last 15-‐20 years has gotten steeper and more technical. The question is, is there enough real estate to build something like the Razor’s Edge again? My feeling is that there’s enough maintenance going on at the canal trail that it probably won’t happen for a while.” Kozlowski says the foul, wet weather has been especially tough on mountain bikers, who despite living next to so many exciting trails, have had to travel far out of the area to find some able to support riders. “When you have FATS (the Fork Area Trail System, which is one of the top ranked mountain bike trails in the nation) in your backyard, the thought of driving two or three hours to Atlanta isn’t very appealing,” he says. “But when FATS is not rideable, two hours becomes very appealing.” Because nearly every area trail is too wet to ride, Kozlowski says the more committed riders have turned to riding the fire service roads in the Sumter National Forest, though they’ve been parking in the FATS lot, which has caused some confusion. “It’s a problem,” Kozlowski says. “While we discourage people from riding FATS, we have other people who see the cars parked in the 18JULY2013


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parking lot and think it’s okay, even though they know better.” Even if the rain stops, Tucker says the area needs to prepare for an equally ugly Second Act: mosquitoes. “I’m begging people to walk around their property and look for standing water, because even a bottle cap with water in it can breed 25 or more mosquitoes,” she says. “Anything that has water in it — buckets, birdbaths — just topple it over.” She advises all homeowners to seek out mosquito larvicide, either in the traditional briquettes or in granule form. “They never let the mosquitoes develop,” she says. “The larva never hatches into a mosquito.” In addition to preparing for the onslaught of mosquitoes, Tucker says she hopes people think about the things that have happened over the course of the last few weeks and prepare for a similar occurrence — no matter how long it might be before it happens again. “If people would ask these questions and find out this information in advance, it sure would be helpful to them,” she says. “It would reduce their anxiety and it would free us up to do other things.” Because, as Clayton says, it’s not if something like this happens again, it’s when. “If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that God can take that Gulf of Mexico and fill up all the lakes and river and streams around here if He chooses to.”

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You’ll have plenty of chances to visit Auggie at Lake Olmstead Stadium this week, as the Augusta GreenJackets have a home game almost every night of the week, including the following: Thursday, July 18, and Friday, July 19, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Lakewood Blue Claws; Saturday, July 20, at 7:05 p.m., Sunday, July 21, at 2:05 p.m., Monday, July 22, and Tuesday, July 23, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Asheville Tourists; and Thursday, July 25, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Savannah Sand Gnats at GreenJackets Stadium. $1-$15. Call 706-922-9467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

ENTERTAIN

Arts

Art at Lunch: Helen Hatch Inglesby is Friday, July 19, at noon at the Morris Museum of Art. John Duncan, historian and owner of V&J Duncan in Savannah, discusses the delicate and intricate silhouettes created by artist Helen Hatch Inglesby. Catered lunch included. Pre-registration required. Members $10; non-members $14. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Exhibitions

Exhibition for artists Cathy Armstrong, Linda Hardy and Susan Porterfield will be on display through August 30 at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. Free. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. “Capturing the Canal” Art Show will exhibit through July 30 at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-KROC or visit krocaugusta.org.

Music

Preston and Weston will perform Thursday, July 18, at 7 p.m. at the Verandah at the Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta as part of the Music in the Park Series. Free. Visit naartscouncil.org. Music at the Morris: Chris Ndeti will perform Sunday, July 21, at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. An acoustic performance from the guitarist and singer-songwriter. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Candlelight Jazz is Sunday July 21, at 8 p.m. at the Augusta Common. The Edwin G. Hamilton Trio will perform. $6, free for children under 13. Visit gardencityjazz.com. 4 Cats in the Dog House perform Monday, July 22, at 7 p.m. at the Roland H. Windham Performing Arts Stage as part of the Hopelands Summer Concert Series in Aiken. Free. Call 803-642-7631. 246th Army Jazz Band will perform Thursday, July 25, at 7 p.m. at the Verandah at the Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta as part of the Music in the Park Series. Free. Visit naartscouncil.org. Thursday Night Jazz at the Willcox takes place every Thursday at the Willcox in Aiken. Visit thewillcox.com.

Literary

S.D. Lewis, Author Talk and Book Signing is Saturday, July 20, from 2-3:30 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Writer S.D. Lewis discusses her book, “The Maid of Honor.” Light refreshments served. No registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Talk the Talk Ladies Book Club is Tuesday, July 23, from 5:30-8 p.m. “Same Kind of Different as Me” by Ron Hall and Denver Moore will be discussed. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Maxwell Morning Book Club meets Thursday, July 25, from 11 a.m.-noon at the Maxwell Branch Library. “The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout will be discussed. Visit maxwellbookclub.worldpress.com.

Theater

Auditions for “The Match Girl,” a musical adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Little Match Girl,” are Thursday, July 18, by appointment at the Kroc Center. Parts are available for men, women and children, ages 9 and up. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com. “Social Security” is Friday, July 19, and Saturday, July 20, at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre. Two married art dealers struggle with the visit of the wife’s goody-goody sister, her uptight CPA husband, and her archetypal Jewish mother, who are there to try to save their college student daughter from running wild. $25-$43. Visit fortgordon.com/theatre. Auditions for “Sherlock Holmes and the Adventures of the Suicide Club” will be held Monday, July 22, and Tuesday, July 23, at 7:30 p.m. at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theater. Parts are available for men and women aged 20s and older, for this play based on the characters created by Arthur Conan Doyle and “The Suicide Club” by Robert Louis Stevenson. All characters are available except Sherlock Holmes. Email Steven,r,walpert@mail.mil.

Special Events

4th Annual Hot Roast & Toast Celebration is Thursday, July 18, at 7 p.m. at Augusta Mini Theatre. Robert “Flash” Gordon is this year’s honoree. $50 individuals; $500 per table. Visit augustaminitheatre.com.

The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-364- 4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

$10,000 Reverse Raffle is Friday, July 19, at 7 p.m. at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion. This is an event designed to provide scholarship support for the students of Claflin University. All attendees also have a chance to win $10,000. $100 per ticket that admits two. Call 706-399-6105.

Live Country Music at the Fraternal Order of Eagles, 1999 Scott Road, is every Saturday night at 8:30 p.m. Admission is $5. Call 706-790-8040.

Recycle Saturday with the City of Augusta is Saturday, July 20, from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. at Diamond Lakes Park. They will accept scrap tires and home

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electronics. Visit augustaga.gov/green.

Evans Towne Farmers Market is held on the grounds of the Columbia County Public Library each Thursday through October 24 from 4:30-7 p.m. All meats, eggs, dairy and produce will be from local and sustainable farms. There will also be cooking and fitness demos, as well as education, local artisans with handcrafted goods, live music, local food vendors and weekly events. Visit evanstownefarmersmarket.com.

Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:30-6:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Saturday Market at the River is each Saturday through November 23 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead downtown and features vendors, food, drinks, entertainment and a group run that begins at 8 a.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com. Wine Tastings are the first Friday and third Thursday of each month from 5-8 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. $5. Call 803-279-9522. Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from 1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit csrahappytails.com.

Health

Mobile Mammography Screenings will be on the following dates and locations, from 8 a.m.-3 p.m.: Thursday, July 18, at Fievet in Washington; Monday, July 22, at Walgreens in Thomson; Tuesday, July 23, at Walmart in Aiken; Wednesday, July 24, at University Hospital; and Thursday, July 25, at the Jenkins County Hospital. Free through Medicare. Appointment required. Call 706-774-4149 or visit universityhealth.org. American Red Cross Babysitter Training is Thursday, July 18, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center. Students ages 11 to 15 learn about leadership, safety, basic care and first aid in order to provide safe, responsible care. Drinks provided. Registration required. Call 800-3228322 or visit aikenregional.com. Advancements in Stroke at Aiken Regional Medical Centers is Thursday, July 18, at 6 p.m. at Towncreek Baptist Church in Aiken. Major advancements in stroke treatment and prevention have occurred over the last several years. Drs. Dillon and Pennington will discuss these advancements and answer questions regarding the treatments for stroke currently being implemented at ARMC. A free, light dinner will be served. Call 800-3228322 or visit aikenregional.com. 18JULY2013


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Breastfeeding Class will be presented Thursday, July 18, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Getting started, latching on and positioning are discussed for a smooth start to breastfeeding. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. GRU Health Care Initiative will be held Saturday, July 20, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Olmstead Homes, 2141 C Street. Services include health education, blood pressure checks, blood sugar checks and more. Free. Call 706-7243576 or visit gru.edu. Childbirth Preparation classes start July 22, and July 24, from 7-9:30 p.m. at University Hospital. These four-week series of childbirth preparation classes are designed to inform and prepare all expectant parents regardless of birth plans. Class topics include various stages of labor, breathing and relaxation, and how to care yourself and your new baby. Free. Call 706-722-9011 or visit universityhealth.org.

Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $11; non-members $22. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; nonmembers, $20. Call 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Support

Weight Loss Support Group meets Thursday, July 18, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. CSRA Parkinson Support Group meets Tuesday, July 23, at 6 p.m. at St John Towers dining room, 724 Greene St. Jody Rocker of Pharmacy Services at GRU will speak on the topic of “Medications and the Parkinson’s Patient.” Free. Call

Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636. Alcoholics Anonymous open discussion meeting takes place every Sunday and Wednesday, 7:15 p.m. at Aurora Pavilion in Aiken. Call 806-641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com/hospital-services/behavioral-health-services. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors- hospital.net.

Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop gambling. Call 800-313-0170.

Yoga I offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken 8:45-9:45 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays; Yoga II is offered 8:459:45 a.m., Fridays; Evening Yoga is offered 5:30-6:30 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays. $41 for 10 tickets. Call 803-642- 7631.

Lupus Support Group meets at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-394-6484 or 706-821-2600, or visit ecgrl.org. Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org.

Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706 394-0590, email sbeasley@ augustameditation.com or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html.

Overeaters Support Group meets locally. Call 706-7850006 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Parents of Hearing-Impaired Children meets locally. Call 706-481-7396 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Reach for Recovery is presented locally by the American Cancer Society. Call 706-731-9900 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; non-members, $5. Pre-registration required. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706-855- 2419.

Education

Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is held every Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Free. Call 706-7745548 or visit universityhealth.org.

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Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331.

Families Who Have Lost a Baby Support Group is offered by GRU. Call 706-721- 8299 or visit gru.edu.

Yoga Class is offered by the Kroc Center every Saturday at The Augusta Market downtown, 10-11 a.m. Free. Bring your own mat. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org.

©  2013  SketchCrowd,  LLC  /  www.sketchcrowd.com

Introduction to Infant CPR is Thursday, July 25, from 7-8:30 p.m. at University Hospital. This class provides you an opportunity to learn and practice infant CPR on mannequins and also learn other aspects of infant safety. Pre-registration required. Free. Call 706-722-9011 or visit universityhealth.org.

Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation program covers topics such as coronary artery disease, heart attack and CHF at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute. Program is held each Wednesday at 8:15 and 9:15 a.m., and 1:45 p.m. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

706-364-1662. Overeaters Anonymous meets at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church, 7:30 p.m., Tuesdays and at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. Call 907-854-1509. AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call

YouTube: A How-To Guide will be presented Thursday, July 18, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. In this class participants will learn how to navigate YouTube, create and maintain their own channel and upload videos to YouTube. Participants need a general knowledge of computing and experience using Internet resources. Registration is required. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Voices of the Past: The Other Tubmans is Saturday, July 20, at noon, 12:30 p.m. and 1:30 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Free with museum admission. Call 706-722-7454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Georgia Download Destination (GADD) Help is Monday, July 22, from 10-11

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a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Participants will learn how to download eBooks and audio-books for free from Georgia Download Destination. Participants need a general knowledge of computers and experience using the Internet. Free. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org. Financial Empowerment Workshop is Monday, July 22, from 3:30-6 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Learn how to repair credit, originate or refinance a mortgage and save for retirement. Registration is required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta aboard the Lady Libby boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends, including the legend of the famous Haunted Pillar. $12, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Call 706722-8454 or visit augustaga.org. Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.

Sports-­Outdoors

Augusta GreenJackets home games are as follows: Thursday, July 18, and Friday, July 19, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Lakewood Blue Claws; Saturday, July 20, at 7:05 p.m., Sunday, July 21, at 2:05 p.m., Monday, July 22, and Tuesday, July 23, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Asheville Tourists; and Thursday, July 25, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Savannah Sand Gnats at GreenJackets Stadium. $1-$15. Call 706922-9467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722- 8878. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $50 a month. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Civil War 150th Canal Tour, “Food, Fabric and Firepower,” is offered by the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center at 1:30 p.m. daily through 2013. Call 706-823- 0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Kids-­Teens

Larry’s Amazing Bird Show is Thursday, July 18, from 10-11 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Mr. Larry presents an exciting show with live exotic birds. Free. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Triple 8 Group Run meets at 8th and Reynolds, 8 a.m., every Saturday through October 26. Choose your distance: 3, 6 or 8 miles. Open to everyone. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Bicycle Safety with Outspokin’ Bicycles will be presented Thursday, July 18, from 2-3 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Registration is required. Call 706-8212623 or email mccoye@ecgrl.org to register.

Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com.

“The Hunger Games” will be shown Thursday, July 18, at 2 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Free. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org.

Upcycled Art for Teens is Thursday, July 18, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Jeanine Rodriguez returns to guide you in creating a mixed media art piece using recyclable materials, ink and paint. Wear clothes you don’t mind getting paint on. Open to rising 6-12 graders. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706- 556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. The Augusta Furies Women’s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email augusta.furies@gmail.com or visit augustafuries.org. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games 20 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-8147514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/hott-shott.

Joy of Digging with Suzanne is Friday, July 19, from 10-11 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Turner and Hooch” will be shown Friday, July 19, at 1 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. A detective must adopt the dog of a dead man to help him find the murderer. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. “I Heart Shakey” will be shown Friday, July 19, at 3 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. A young girl hatches a plan to win back her lovable mutt, Shakey, and teach her father a valuable lesson about loyalty and the importance of keeping family together. Free. Call 803642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. Live-Action Candyland is Friday, July 19, at 3 p.m. at the North Augusta Branch Library. Limited to 28; registration is required. Ages 4-12. Free. Call 803279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Skulls and Scat is Saturday, July 20, from 10-11 a.m. at Reed Creek Park. Participants will learn to identify animal species based on their tracks, skulls and scat (droppings). Ages 5 and up. Pre-registration is required. Members are free; non-members are $2 per child. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. 18JULY2013


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“Oz the Great and Powerful” will be shown Saturday, July 20, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Night Hike and Marshmallow Roast is Saturday, July 20, from 8-9:30 p.m. at Mistletoe State Park. An old-fashioned marshmallow roast around the campfire, followed by a walk through the dark, night woods. Can you walk quietly enough to discover a night creature before it sees you and gets away? Wear comfortable walking shoes for this exciting night hike. $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe. Summer Camp: Drawing Jam with Jay Jacobs at Augusta Preparatory Day School is Monday, July 22-Friday, July 26. Explore a variety of drawing materials and styles, from realism to animation, while participating in creative games and off-the-wall exercises. For ages 9-16. $120 per student. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Bechtel Telescope, will be available for viewing after each show. General admission $4.50; seniors $3.50; 4K-12 $2.50; valid college or military I.D. gets you a 50-percent discount; USCA faculty, staff and students $1. Kids under 4 not permitted in public viewings. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-641-3654. Georgia Connections Academy, a free virtual public charter school has spots for 1,000 K-12 students in Georgia. Call 800-382-6010 or visit connectionsacademy.com/georgia-school/enrollment/home.aspx.

Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Creative Arts offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; non-members, $55 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. 7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Sand Art is Monday, July 22, from 5-6 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Use colored sand to make your own creation in a bottle. Ages 11-17 are welcome. Free. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Live-Action App Night is Monday, July 22, at 7 p.m. at the North Augusta Branch Library. Liveaction Draw Something and Words with Friends. Free. Call 803-279-5767 or visit abbe-lib.org. Nutrition for Kids is Tuesday, July 23, from 10-11 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Join UGA Cooperative Extension for a fun, informative activity about nutrition for children. Limited to 25 participants. Best for ages 6-10. Registration is required for groups and individuals. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Ventriloquist Tawanna Kelly will perform Tuesday, July 23, from 10-11 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Come for the end of the Summer Reading program spectacular with Ms. Kelly and her special friend, star puppet Joy. Free. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Larry’s Amazing Bird Show is Tuesday, July 23, from 11 a.m.-noon at the Appleby Branch Library. Come and watch Larry “The Birdman” and his amazing birds perform tricks. All ages welcome. Free. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Movies at Maxwell: “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” will be shown Tuesday, July 23, from 3-5 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Free. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Larry the Birdman’s Amazing Tropical Bird Show will be presented Tuesday, July 24, from 10-10:30 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Free. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Mr. Bill and His Guitar, George is Tuesday, July 24, from 10-11 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Family Movie Matinee is Tuesday, July 24, at 1 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. “The Pirates” will be shown. Call 706-312-1358 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Porkchop Productions: “The Three Goats Gruff” will be presented Wednesday, July 24, at 2 p.m. and 3 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. Manga Techniques will be presented Wednesday, July 24, from 2-4 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Draw with Artist Xavier Jones and learn new techniques for drawing Manga. Best for ages 12-17. Limited to 10 participants. Registration is required. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Children’s Craft: Ladybugs will be presented Wednesday, July 24, from 3:30-4:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Ages 6 and up are welcome. Space is limited; registration is required. Free. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Book to Film is Wednesday, July 24, from 6-7:45 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Watch and discuss a film based on a popular novel. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Just Dance! Tournament is Thursday, July 25, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Dance for fun and to win prizes. Best for ages 11-17. Free. Call 706-7722432 or visit ecgrl.org. Death by Chocolate is Thursday, July 25, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Eat, drink and play with chocolate at this event. Open to rising 6-12 graders. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. Sidewalk Games Family Night is Thursday, July 25, at 7 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Come to the side parking lot for sidewalk chalk, games and a performance by the Twin Dragons Martial Arts Demo Team. Free. Call 803-642-2020 or visit abbe-lib.org. Paws to Read is every Tuesday in July from 11 a.m.-noon at the Aiken Branch Library. Struggling readers in grades K-5 can register to read to a trained therapy dog who loves to listen to stories. Registered children will have a weekly 20-minute session with a dog and handler. Pre-registration and a signed permission slip is required for this event. Stop by the first floor circulation desk to register. Call 803-642-7585 or visit abbe-lib.org. Watson-Brown Foundation Junior Board needs members. Looking for high-school students to spend one evening a month learning about historic preservation, grants and philanthropy. Call 706-595-7777, email mzupan@hickory-hill.org or visit hickory-hill.org. DuPont Planetarium shows for Saturdays in July are “Explorers of Mauna Kea” at 8 p.m. and “Digistar Laser Fantasy” at 9 p.m. Weather permitting, the observatory, housing the 18JULY2013

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No, it’s not a play about the agency or its (lack of) benefits. Rather, “Social Security” is a comedy about two married art dealers, who struggle with the visit of the wife’s goody-goody sister, her uptight CPA husband and her archetypal Jewish mother, who are there to try to save their college student daughter from running wild. It shows at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre Friday, July 19, and Saturday, July 20, Dinner begins at 7 p.m. and the show begins at 8 p.m. $25-$43. Visit fortgordon. com/theatre.

Retreat THE

TAPAS BAR

Why Eat When You Can Dine?!

TUESDAY-SATURDAY 5:00 - UNTIL

Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

FULL BAR & WINE LIST

706-250-3717 4446 Washington Road | Suite 20 Evans (across from Wal-Mart)

Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706- 556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

DECLASSIFIED

Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

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Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05- 10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736- 6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org. Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-733-9491.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org.

Spiritual

Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5- 8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854- 0149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; non-members, $35 a month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email geoffstew@gmail.com. For Girl Scouts, email sbehrend@bellsouth.net. For Daisy/ Brownie Troop, email bdmrev@yahoo.com.

Have you Aerated your yard?

Bible Teaching Seminar: Understanding the Book of Revelations is Saturday, July 20, from 12:15-1:15 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Chapters 1-3 will be covered. Participants should bring their Bibles. Free. Call 706-691-4023.

Volunteer

Tri the Parks Triathlon is Saturday, July 20, at Mistletoe State Park in Appling. Volunteers are needed from 6 a.m. to noon to help at water tables handing out water to the athletes on the course, course direction volunteers on the run course and bike course to direct the athletes, and help out with packing up the tables, tents, chairs, etc. at the event conclusion. Staff shirts, snacks, and beverages will be provided for all volunteers. Call 706-722-8326x235 or email michelle@augustasportscouncil.org. Dogwood Park Spay and Neuter Clinic, a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization, offers volunteer opportunities for those interested in helping animals in need. Applications available at Dogwood Park, 6100 Columbia Rd. Grovetown, GA, 30813. Email info@ dogwoodparkclinic.com.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

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V24|NO29

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Tammy Moyer, Lauren Rewis and Suzie Beagle at Coyotes.

SIGHTINGS

Chelsea Johnson, Mark Reagan and Amanda Perry at Wild Wing.

Alex Cohen, Halye Cohen and Morgan Cohan at Wild Wing.

SIGHTINGS

Jennifer Stanley with Brooke and Mark Fentress at Coyotes.

Jade Bryan, Anna Spivey and Rachel Jackson at the Country Club.

Bryce Wagner, Katherine Beul and Danny Farrell at the Country Club.

SIGHTINGS

Steve Black, Beverly Bella, Nancy Hannan and Joe Thornton at French Market Grille West.

Daryl, Adam and Karen Fultz at the J. Strom Thurmond Dam floodgate test.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Bert and Allison Craven with Rochelle and Danny Audette at the J. Strom Thurmond Dam floodgate test.

www.choosenottolose.com

Binge drinking, the most common and dangerous form of underage drinking, can cause an athlete to lose up to 14 days of training effect. A typical high school season is 10-12 weeks. Two weeks of lost training is 20% of the season. 18JULY2013

AUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989  

METROSPIRIT 23


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Life Lessons

Most of them shouldn’t be learned via the internet

My daughter is a whiner. We often pick on her for whining, saying things like “it’s tough being a little girl, isn’t it?” Most of the time, it’s not. She may have to do a few chores now and then, and her TV and Kindle Fire time might be limited each day. I make her eat healthy food, and she has to bathe with some regularity. Otherwise, she’s got it pretty good. Besides, she’s just a kid. Her level of responsibility doesn’t go much further than emptying the dishwasher and feeding the dog. Sounds good to me. When asked what’s hard, she tells me that it was scary learning to ride a two wheeler, her eyes burn after swimming in the pool, and making herself go to sleep at bedtime isn’t easy. Being 7 is sweet. She’s had a rough go around lately, though. Life lessons and learning experiences have plagued her summer. A couple of months ago, she was asked to keep track of her suitcase and a small purse in the airport. We realized she can handle exactly half of that. After we realized the purse, filled with a Kindle Fire and her first Sweet Valley Twins book, was missing, we called the restaurant. They had it, and they’d gladly hold it until we came back through for our return flight days later. Easy, right? Returning later in the week, after being assured again and again they still had it, with my name on it, in the restaurant safe, we expected to walk up, speak to the manager and walk away with the purse. No such luck. Somewhere between the last girl I talked to and the 45 minutes before my flight, the purse had been stolen. I returned to crocodile tearing little girl, who learned a hard lesson. We have to keep up with our things. When we were little, we left behind a book. Mom said “Sorry!” We moved on. It gets complicated with expensive electronics. I have a love/hate relationship with electronics. While The Girl was away from me, and therefore under the care of another, she was able to peruse YouTube at leisure. She wasn’t holding the iPad, so I don’t blame her entirely, but I hope she’ll walk away next time. Folks, you have to monitor your kids on the internet. If that’s too much to ask, you really should take away the devices all together. YouTube has great videos of baby panda’s sneezing, and brother Charlie biting fingers, but with the click of a wrong button, it gets so much worse. Like, “9 year old girl gives birth” worse. Yep. Fortunately, The Girl knows our house rule: no kids on the internet without an adult. She asked if we could watch some videos she’d recently seen. I said that sounded good, and I’d be happy to look them up for her. When she told me they were about kids having babies, I nearly choked on my tongue. Because I wanted the full story, I didn’t get mad. After a bit more research, that was the worst one they saw. The worst part was the conversation I was forced to have with my 7-‐year-‐ old little girl. Anyone who knows me well will tell you we are very up front with our kids. They know about 9/11. They know about Sandy Hook. They do not know about 9-‐year-‐olds having babies. Well, they didn’t before June. I told them that having babies is a beautiful thing. Two of the most special days in my life were the ones when my two were born. Having babies is not something a 7-‐, 8-‐ or 9-‐ (and on and on) year-‐old girls should even be considering. Reminding myself to deal with the variables as they arise, we told her to worry about babies when she was a married adult. Phew. She asked a few more questions about how babies come out. The fact that she wasn’t able to say the word “vagina” is rather telling about her maturity and whether she should’ve seen those horrible things. Hell, I didn’t want to see those horrible things. I think we’ve sorted it out for the time being. Don’t worry, BabyGirl. There will be other electronics. Stay little while you can. Don’t believe everything you see on the internet. You just be you, and the rest will unfold as it should. JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

18JULY2013


V24|NO29

Beyond Broadway

VALERIEEMERICK

Tickets are going fast for Russell Joel Brown’s fundraiser for the JNSA Russell Joel Brown with Jessye Norman School of the Arts students.

The Jessye Norman School of Arts (JNSA) will hold a benefit concert featuring Augusta native Russell Joel Brown on August 18. The youngest of seven children, Brown graduated from Aquinas High School and later attended Morehouse College in Atlanta. It was during his childhood in Augusta that Brown began his training in the arts, he said. “I’m the youngest of seven children, with my parents exposing us to really, everything — the arts, sports, everything that they could find just so that we would be well-‐rounded individuals,” explained Brown. “My sister was a ballerina. She started here at Augusta Ballet School, and so when she went to New York to be ballet dancer with the Dance Theatre of Harlem, my parents took me to see her first performance so I came back from that and enrolled in ballet myself.” That was when he was in the fourth grade, Brown said. “I studied at the Augusta Ballet School for eight and a half years under Zanne Colton, who’s now Dance Augusta, and Ron Colton — in my childhood I was involved in every area of the arts,” Brown said. “I was doing plays, I was taking piano lessons, I was taking ballet, I was in two choirs — I even tried my hand at being an instrumentalist, not just piano but I tried to learn the bass guitar as well. So, I was always involved in the arts.” Brown is currently touring with Disney’s “The Lion King,” and will be performing in Augusta for the first time in eight years as part of the JNSA benefit. Brown, who was part of an arts advisory council in the early stages of JNSA’s development, said he’s very proud of what the school is doing and what they have accomplished. “When you take part in something from the ground floor, you don’t know how it’s going to turn out,” Brown said. “It could fold, or it could veer off into a direction that you never anticipated or wanted — but it’s really remained true to its mission. Also, the work has been put in and that’s what it takes. It takes the work and remaining focused. They’ve done a fabulous job of that.” The benefit concert will feature Brown, as well as other musicians and performers. “It’s going to be an exciting mix of classicals, spirituals, Broadway and jazz,” Brown said. “I have some local musicians that are going to be playing with me — Dr. Rosalyn Floyd on piano, David Heath on bass, Mike West on drums and Joe Collier on trumpet. And we have LaShonda Reese, who is a very gifted jazz singer from New York who is coming in for the performance, and she’ll perform solo numbers as well as two duets.” In addition to the musical performances, the benefit will include a live auction featuring art created by students and known local artists in tribute to Russell Joel Brown. Students will be working from a range of photos of Brown throughout the years and will create portraits to exhibit and auction. All the proceeds will go directly to the school.

My daughter is a whiner. We often pick on her for whining, saying things like “it’s tough being a little girl, isn’t it?” Most of the time, it’s not. She may have

Broadway and Beyond w/ Russell Joel Brown Maxwell Perfming Arts Theatre, GRU Sunday, August 18 5 p.m. $40, adults; $20, students under 25 with ID 706-‐828-‐7768 jessyenormanschool.org 18JULY2013

AUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989  

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26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

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METROSPIRIT 27


FEATURED

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July 18 18Thursday, Live Music

Maude Edenfield Park (North Augusta) - Preston & Weston Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Polo Tavern - Brent Lundy Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sidetrack - Songwriters at Sidetrack w/ Robert and Eddie Rhoades, Red Letter Poet, Cathy Benedetto, Dale Lewis, Michael James, Josh Burt, Joyce Lynn Chandler and more. Sky City - The Low Creek Killers Somewhere in Augusta - Jason White Surrey Tavern - Stereotype Wild Wing - Jessup Dolly

Atlanta’s Rolling Nowhere describes their music as junkyard folk, with a big dash of classic country, honky tonk and psychedelic rock. Come see what all that sounds like when the band plays Stillwater Taproom Friday, July 19. The show will start around 10 p.m. and there is a $5 cover. Visit rollingnowhere.com.

What’s Tonight?

Bar on Broad - Liddle Ugleez Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia The Loft - Karaoke MAD Studios - Open Mic Poetry and Spoken Word Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke party with Carolina Entertainment Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Shannon’s - Karaoke Surreal at Surrey - College and F&B Night Surrey Tavern - Dueling Pianos Karaoke Tavern at the Bean - Ladies Night Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

19

Friday, July 19 Live Music

Country Club - Eric Scott Band Doubletree - Jazz Joe’s Underground - Shinebox The Loft - Candyland Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - The Mason Jars PI Bar & Grille - Live Jazz Playoffs - The Southern Meltdown Band Polo Tavern - Reverse Effect Sky City - The Gilded Youth, Dirty Realists, Cameras, Guns & Radios Somewhere In Augusta - Storm Branch Band The Stables at Rose Hill Estate - Savannah River Bluegrass Band Stillwater Taproom - Rolling Nowhere Tavern at the Bean - Musicians Hangout w/ Nine Local Arts Performing Wild Wing - Anybody’s Guess

What’s Tonight?

100 Laurens - Shag Night w/ DJ Murl Augustine Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Friday Night House Party Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party First Round - Mix Masterson Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan

28 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989

Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rana Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - Pop Life Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

July 20 20Saturday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Outside the Box The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Country Club - Michael Stacey Band Coyotes - Scott Brantley The First Round - Stillview, Send the Signal Joe’s Underground - Saint Happening P.I. Bar and Grill - Smooth/Vocal Jazz Polo Tavern - Storm Branch Band Sector 7G - From the Embrace, Of Gods and Man Sky City - The Ramblin’ Fevers, Sinners & Saints, Rebekah Todd Somewhere In Augusta - Dallas Duff Duo Stillwater Taproom - Waller Vallarta’s - The Mason Jars Wild Wing - Dave Firmin & Whiskey Run

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Saturday Night Dance Party and Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Karaoke The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke party with Carolina Entertainment Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Soul Bar - DJ Lowterio Tavern at the Bean - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, July 21 21Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - The Henrys Candlelight Jazz - Edwin Hamilton Trio Partridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio Wild Wing - Cody Webb Duo The Willcox - Live Jazz

What’s Tonight?

Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Party with Carolina Entertainment Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Polo Tavern - Bingo Night Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

July 22 22Monday, Live Music

Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) - 4 Cats in the Dog House Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Chevy’s - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Poker Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia The Playground - DJ Rana Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker Wild Wing - Trivia

23

Tuesday, July 23 Live Music

The First Round - Archers & Illuminators The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night w/ Free Lessons Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Joe’s Underground - Karaoke Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke

Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia Mi Rancho - Cornhole Carolina Meeting The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night

July 24 24Wednesday, Live Music

Joe’s Underground - County Line Sky City - Black Tusk, Chairleg Soul Bar - The Method Wild Wing - Sabo

What’s Tonight?

100 Laurens - Trivia Night with Moose Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - The Comedy Zone w/ Tim Statum and Blayr Nais Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey

Upcoming

246th Army Jazz Band and Art Show - Maude Edenfield Park, North Augusta July 25 The (Joel Cruz) Method - Sky City July 26 Burning Angels - Stillwater Taproom July 26 Sibling String Farewell Show, the Kenny George Band - Sky City July 27 Funk You - 5 O’Clock Bistro July 28 Courtland Saxon & Desire - Candlelight Jazz July 28 Ken Gabriel Band - Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) July 29 Weaving the Fate, Kelen Heller, F.O.C.U.S. - Sky City August 3 Tony Williams & Blues Express - Candlelight Jazz August 4 Aiken Big Band - Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) August 5

18JULY2013


THE

V24|NO29

EIGHT “Pacific Rim”

BOX TOPS

Gru’s on top for the second week in a row! RANK

TITLES

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

DESPICABLE ME 2

$43,892,895

$228,376,775

2

1

2

GROWN UPS 2

$41,508,572

$41,508,572

1

-

3

PACIFIC RIM

$37,285,325

$37,285,325

1

-

4

THE HEAT

$14,002,080

$112,365,557

3

3

5

THE LONE RANGER

$11,506,100

$71,467,292

2

2

SAMEIFLING

A visually unparalleled movie with a couple of savvy plot twists as well ACTION

“Red 2,” rated PG-‐13, starring Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Mary-‐Louise Parker, Catherine Zeta-‐Jones. In this sequel to the unexpected 2010 hit “Red,” a bunch of oldsters who just happen to be former secret agents come out of retirement yet again to find a missing nuclear device. It’s a shame Morgan Freeman’s character is not around for the sequel, but Anthony Hopkins might just be able to fill his shoes. He seems to be an okay actor.

18JULY2013

ACTION

“R.I.P.D.,” rated PG-‐13, starring Ryan Reynolds, Mary-‐Louse Parker, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Bacon. Seems cops don’t even get to rest when they die; instead, they’re called into service by the Rest in Peace Department. Interesting that this is directed by “Red” helmsman Robert Schwentke, whose movie opens the same week as that movie’s sequel does. It also explains Parker’s presence, who hasn’t gotten this much big-‐ screen work in years.

FAMILY

“Turbo,” rated PG, starring the voices of Ryan Reynolds, Paul Giamatti, Maya Rudolph, Samuel L. Jackson. DreamWorks presents a movie that might be cute, but makes no sense at all. A jacked-‐up snail competing in the Indy 500? Come on. We know it’s a movie and all, but still. In theaters Wednesday, July 17.

JULY 19

Plenty of directors have made movies better than “Pacific Rim,” the giant-‐robots-‐vs.-‐giant-‐monsters kaboomapalooza from Guillermo del Toro. Someone may have, at some point, made a more visually impressive film — but now we’re getting into murkier guesswork. What “Pacific Rim” does as well as pretty much any movie ever is to deliver on all its promises. If what you want is to watch skyscraper-‐sized robots tangle with humongous evil space dinosaurs, this may as well be your “Citizen Kane.” Without any household name among the cast (the closest may be star Idris Elba, who was Stringer Bell in “The Wire”), “Pacific Rim” plays to its inspiration, Japanese “mecha” anime. Fans of the genre will recognize the tropes that launched a gazillion Voltron and Ultraman toys. Humanity’s under threat from monsters, called kaiju, so big and ornery that it takes several days to fell them with jets and tanks. They slurk up from the bottom of the ocean through some kind of glowing portal to — “another dimension,” I believe is how it’s explained. Sure, fine. The people of Earth respond by building and piloting massive fighting robots, called jagers (pronounced like the -‐meister). Those robots fight the monsters, often hip-‐deep in ocean water, usually near a city, for maximum carnage; Hong Kong, Sydney and San Francisco, among other expendable hamlets, all catch the brunt of “Pacific Rim” brawls. High-‐quality carnage results. The music and sound effects and lighting effects and robot effects and monster effects all are top-‐flight, befitting the director of “Pan’s Labyrinth.” The fighting scenes echo the earliest Godzilla movies — buildings getting mashed, crowds fleeing in horror — but are rendered so seductively you forget you’re watching, in essence, a couple of drawings locked in combat. Digital effects still can’t hurdle the uncanny valley of human features (our brains are just too keen to fool when it comes to what a person looks like). In the more abstract realm of robots and monsters, though, we’ve arrived at graphics so convincing that they suspend disbelief for you. Beyond mere razzle-‐dazzle, “Pacific Rim” makes two stylistic choices that feed it an actual plot. The first is to stick two pilots in each jager (to share the “neural load” of mind-‐melding with the machine). Those people fuse via a science-‐inspired process called the drift that allows them to act in unison. Thus, when hotshot pilot Charlie Hunnam’s brother is killed during their connection, he’s haunted by the shared sensation. When he’s called to fight again, he has to find a compatible co-‐ pilot, leading him to a “Top Gun”-‐style bromance with Rinko Kikuchi, except maybe it goes deeper than Maverick and Goose, because she’s a lady and all, but we’ll never really know because “Pacific Rim” is PG and the world needs saving (in Strangelovian fashion, it turns out). The other savvy twist is to set the movie in the mature middle distance of this alien war. As stronger beasts have catapulted out of the ocean, the jagers started losing. Governments cut jager funding and opt instead to build the biggest boondoggle in the history of bad ideas: a border wall around the entire Pacific. It’s laughably ineffective measure that gives the aging jager program the pluck of an underdog (and adds a wry touch in a film written and directed by a Mexican national). As the corpses of kaiju have accumulated over the years, cults have sprung up around them, black markets have emerged for their various parts (bone powder, we’re told by trafficker Ron Perlman, is worth $500 a pound), and enough people have made them an object of pop-‐culture worship (as with full-‐sleeve tattoos) that the phrase “kaiju groupie” has become a pejorative. It’s a gentle jab, of course — shamelessly served up, like nearly everything else in the film, for fans on both sides of the Pacific.

HORROR

“The Conjuring,” rated R, starring Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston. The trailers for this one look pretty creepy, even if one of the main images they conjure up is of The Clapper.

AUGUSTA’S  INDEPENDENT  VOICE  SINCE  1989  

METROSPIRIT 29


V24|NO29 V24|NO29

WHINE

LINE

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

up

“Sharknado” is available On Demand!

RCSD arresting a guy for filming on public property and not IDing himself. All that was missing from this scene are the German accents and a Sieg Heil!

down

“Sharknado”: terrible, and it does not improve upon repeated viewing. That’s it’s charm.

THUMBS

Our government has no business promoting a religion. Our motto “E pluribus unum”, as it appeared on our original Great Seal in 1782, should be returned to our currency. The original 1782 motto is inclusive not divisive.

of heroin and cocaine. Hmmm, doesn’t it make you wonder why the all you folks whining about once a week track pickup should just be Big Pharma, the commercial prison industry, AND the dealers don’t thankful you have trash pickup at all, there are a lot places in this want it to become legal? Me thinks that they know their lust of money country where the only option is a weekly trip to the local dump would be compromised!! Still harbor any doubt that the world is turned upside down? How Richmond County Board of Education Policy (Undocumented): It is far about the fact that when the Boston bomber was brought to the easier for RCBOE admin to pressure teachers in to passing students courthouse, he was greeted like a rock star by a large number of What is the point in having a crosswalk in front of the J.B. White’s building leading to the other side of Broad Street if drivers don’t ever that are failing than to support same teachers for holding the line by girls chanting “Free the lion!”? How about the fact that Andrew holding back those that have NOT earned advancement. Old adage: Garfield who plays the new Spider-man on the big screen wants stop for the pedestrians? I stood there the other day in the pouring Spider-man to come out as gay and have a male Mary Jane as an rain as about 15 cars zoomed by waiting for someone to stop, and no You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. This applies as well to students- you can get them to the classroom, but onscreen love interest? How about a Sequestration policy that ever one did. Needless to say I got soaked! you can not instill the drive and desire they need to work at learning. cleverly forbids the use of military troops to fill civilian gaps in security So, like I said earlier, let’s just beat up on the teachers. at Fort Gordon’s gates so that each and every one of us who goes to As an Augusta ex-pat who lives in Atlanta now, I find it the uproar over the post feels the pain of budget cuts? Yet, in a world where the White the Sheriff’s suggestion to close portions of The Riverwalk at 11pm to Trash, trash, trash as far as the eye can see. If my family wanted House tours had to be cancelled, President Obama felt it necessary be amusing but typical of the mental vacuum that exists down there. to fly to Africa with an entourage to the tune of $100,000,000.00. Guess what? Here in the ATL, Piedmont Park closes at dark. Ever been to live in a landfill we would have hitched a ride on the back of a garbage truck. We also did not request flies and maggots along with Yeah, the world is on its blanking head. to New York City? Well the vaunted Central Park closes at 11pm.City our mortgage, but amazingly, they think our home is their home. parks across the country have closingtimes and for good reason. PLEASE! FIX THIS MESS. So what’s up with that City of Augusta? First you cut us to one day What a tragic ending to the Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin trial. An a week trash pick-up and now we get left without a trash receptacle unarmed black youth is dead, while his killer is free to walk the since a truck came thru the neighborhood without notice carrying them away leaving nothing but to put trash on the curb. Sounds like a streets. People of all nationalities will peacefully protest this ruling across the country. The Trayvon case, like 14 year old Emmett Till, plan to me. who was killed in Mississippi in 1955 by 2 klansmen and exonerated OK everyone, repeat after me: It is physically impossible to overdose in 1 hour, shows that this prosperous country, built on the backs of slaves, will always be racist, The only good thing is that God is in on weed!! LOUDER: IT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO OVERDOSE control and He is the ultimate Justifier, Peace.... ON WEED!! Yet it is classified as a dangerous narcotic along the likes To Columbia County School Board: My husband and I are in our 50’s and never had children. We’re okay with some of taxes go to the schools but don’t feel we should have to pay more b/c of a shortage. Make the folks who have all the kids and get all those tax credits and deductions make up for your money mess!

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