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METRO SPIRIT Dec. 25-31 Vol. 15 No. 21

Augusta’s Independent Voice

CONCERT FOR A CAUSE 12 Bands of Christmas

page 16 Champagne Everywhere …


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Keeping a Sketchbook and Journal of your Travels Languages: Arabic, Mandarin Chinese, Dutch, Spanish, French, German, Italian Line Dancing Medical Billing Medical Coding Medical Terminology Microsoft Excel Music Conservatory Online Courses* Origami Photography PowerPoint Real Estate SAT Review Courses Shag Dance Stained Glass Tai Chi Traveling Alone Writing Your Memoires Yoga: Power Yoga Vinyasa Your Home Gym

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Contents Metro Spirit

New Hope Worship Center Presents Legacy Five Saturday, January 3rd at 6:30pm

D E C . 2 5 - 3 1 • F R E E W E E K LY • M E T R O S P I R I T. C O M

ON THE COVER

Concert for a Cause: 12 Bands of Christmas By Amy Fennell Christian

I-20 at Belair Road (Exit 194) • 706-868-6410 • www.nhwc.org

All They Want for Christmas Is a Job

By Brian Neill . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12

Shock and Awful: A Look Back at 2003

Happy Holidays!

By Roger Naylor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15

Opinion Whine Line .............................................................. 4 Words ..................................................................... 4 This Modern World ..................................................4 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ......................................6 Insider .....................................................................8

Metro

Events

8 Days a Week . . . . . . . . . . . .20

Morris and Lawrence Face the Coliseum Authority.................................................10

Bite

Champagne, Champagne Everywhere … But What If You Don’t Like the Stuff? .......................................16

Events

8 Days a Week .....................................................20

Arts What If Art Came Out of a Cigarette Machine? .......25 ACP Holds Black-and-White Ball New Year’s Eve ...26

Cinema

Movie Listings ......................................................28 Close-Up: Ben Affleck Discusses “Paycheck” and Singing in the Shower.....................................31 Review: “Cold Mountain” .......................................32 Movie Clock ..........................................................32

Music

Modjeska Makes Going Out an Event.....................18 Music by Turner ......................................................38 Music Minis ............................................................38 Night Life ...............................................................39

Stuff News of the Weird ................................................42 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ...........................42 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ................................43 New York Times Crossword Puzzle .......................43 Date Maker ...........................................................45 Classifieds ............................................................47

• Large private courtyard with fountain accessible from main room

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Champagne, Champagne Everywhere … But What If You Don’t Like the Stuff? . . . . . . . .16

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Kriste Lindler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Bell, Natalie Holle, Erin Lummen ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Amy Fennell Christian, Rachel Deahl, David Elliot t, Chuck Shepherd CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow

METRO SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © Metro Spirit, Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

S P I R I T

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Whine Line W

hat has happened to radio in this town? We don’t even have Imus anymore. You can choose between redneck, redneck filth, whatever that is on 105 or listen to discriminated-against Serbian dirt farmers on NPR. This whine is directed at the Augusta Chronicle online. I tried to access the Chronicle online today and when I clicked on a story on the main page I was redirected to a login page. I don’t know how long this has been going on, but they now require you to register a user name and password before you can enter the site. This is a bunch of garbage and another way that the Chronicle can track your every move. The Atlanta Journal Constitution and the Metro Spirit DO NOT require this and freely give out the latest news online. Howard Dean made a statement Monday that we should have found Saddam six months ago. Where was Mr. Dean six months ago? If it was that easy, he should have come forth and helped out then. How would he have found Saddam six months ago? Duh? He probably already knows where Osama is but wants to wait another six months on him also so he’ll have something negative to campaign on. Our great and noble leader Bob Young made a comment that the X-Mart would set up in a spider hole if they could. Well, shame on you Bob! This is America and we have the First Amendment that ensures that we won’t have to hide from people like you when we have beliefs different than yours. And to make a reference that compares an adult entertainment store to Saddam Hussein is irresponsible and childish. It was people like you who ran ads with Max Cleland next to Saddam and Osama. Shame on you and your immature tactics. Is this what you want to

be remembered for when you are out of office, Bob? Do the real people of Augusta a favor and grow up. Marines bowed their heads in prayer during a recent ceremony honoring the birthday of the corps, and it has the ACLU up in arms. “These are federal employees,” says Lucius Traveler, a spokesman for the ACLU, “on federal property and on federal time. For them to pray is clearly an establishment of religion, and we must nip this in the bud immediately.” When asked about the ACLU’s charges, Colonel Jack Fessender, speaking for the Commandant of the Corps, said (cleaned up a bit), “The heck with the ACLU.” Attention Mr. Red Sweater Vest: Go home. Have you noticed you are 20 years older than anyone here? Stop hitting on the women and go to Cadillac’s or something. Every time I turn on the television set the news is warning the public about the flu. It’s gotten to the point that me and my neighbors are freaked out when one of the kids sneezes around the others. The flu is serious but come on; sometimes I wonder how we ever lived through childhood. Bobbsey twins Morris and Lawrence have lost touch with reality, for now they want the average citizens and the sales tax money to buy their new toys. Tell it to Santa! Strom Thurmond’s deep, dark secret: He has a black daughter! Big surprise! You could have asked anyone in Edgefield 30 years ago and they would have told you that tale. The liberal sweetheart of the Dems appears to be Vermont Governor Howard Dean. Here’s a guy the had his records as governor sealed. It is an embarrassment to the nation when he speaks about the war in Iraq, and he appears to be “The

Words “The throwing off of all restraints has produced a culture without rules, without signposts and without meaning. Is [Hugh] Hefner ever asked by the numerous toady interviewers about what responsibility he bears for this? Not that I’ve seen or read.” — From a recent column by syndicated columnist Cal Thomas about all the positive attention being heaped on Playboy, and its publisher Hugh Hefner, for the magazine’s 50th anniversary

Waffle Champ” on nearly every issue. I don’t hear the Greenbaums and the Cooks defending Dean as the standard bearer of the Dems. Is he too far to the left even for those four? I want to know how much the city is paying to fight Video X-Mart? This court case has been going on for at least a year and it seems like it’s going to be a neverending fight. I know a lot of people are upset, but do they realize that they are having to pay thousands of dollars in attorney fees to fight this? Logo-Schmogo! What Columbia County needs is a set of commissioners who have the backbone to say “NO!” to spending. And a new county administrator wouldn’t hurt either.

Really people, get a grip. I’m not interested in being invited to a dinner party at your house only to find out you’re wanting to sell me some god-awful jewelry or jacked-up cheese grater. Don’t you have any shame? Yes, Dan Reeves had a bad season this year in Atlanta, but he is still one of the greatest coaches ever in the NFL and for the Falcons to not let him finish out the year is shameful. I hope he goes on to coach some great college team like Alabama where he will be appreciated. Colleges are the only places these days where coaches still can be coaches and not babysitters. I am very happy they have captured Saddam, but questions beg to be asked,


like how long have they known where he was and was this another timely media stunt to boost Bushleague’s declining ratings? Hum, I wonder.

5 M E T R O

I know people complain every year about the Target shopping center around Christmas, but is there any other place in Augusta that people are just that rude?

S P I R I T

Strom, what a stand-up guy you were. I never thought cellular phones could get more annoying than constantly ringing in the middle of movies, but I’m so sick of seeing all these teenagers at the mall taking pictures of one another with their new photo phones. It’s gotten to the point that some get downright gross in public.

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If I am almost killed one more time by a blue hair commandeering a Lincoln on Walton Way I’m going to make a citizens arrest. The argument that excessively pierced/tattooed individuals are NOT clamoring for attention falls flat. Every person I have met that puts holes where the sun doesn’t shine, and in their nose, and “surface” piercings anywhere else, usually is some sort of substance abuser or just freaking nuts. It never fails. Their whole life is dictated by Hot Topic. Their musical taste, their clothing taste, everything. It’s as if a CD-ROM were loaded into their brain, each person uniformly expresses their individuality. It’s childish. In the real world, you can’t hold a job with a bone shot through your nose. You want to express yourself? How about stopping the heroin habit and going into rehab. Since it is illegal to park in a handicapped parking space without a handicap sticker, should it not be illegal for autos to park in van handicapped parking spaces? I think so. To the jerk that brags about the fact that he “keys” cars that take up more than one parking space: news flash. If I catch you keying a car, mine or someone else’s, you will certainly have a bad day, that day! I have 1/2 a pool cue I want to introduce you to. Merry Christmas to you. I think Clark Griswald lives next door to us. The lamp by my bed dims when his Christmas lights come on. To the person who said they “key” a car that is taking up more than one space in a parking lot. If I catch you keying my car, you will be guaranteed a trip to the ER of your choice. Get a grip and grow up.

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So what’s with the glowing tooth decoration outside that house on Walton Way? Completely bizarre. continued on page 6

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Georgia legislators, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported, will start keeping a closer eye on the Board of Regents after members agreed to give outgoing Chancellor Stephen Portch $450,000 over the next three years for “advice.” Legislators, the article stated, had an even harder time swallowing Portch’s

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sweet deal knowing that the state faces a potential budget shortfall of between $440 million and $1 billion. Local legislator Ben Harbin (RMartinez) told the AJC, “The only thing more embarrassing would have been for Portch to be paid out of HOPE scholarship money.”

Thumbs Down A man in Cordele recently spent 13 months in jail without ever seeing a lawyer or being apprised of his case status, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported. In addition, Samuel Moore, initially picked up on a loitering charge,

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continued from page 5 Now that we know the truth about Strom Thurmond’s sexual affair with a black lady, we realize what a life of hypocrisy he lived. Even though he knew he had a black daughter and black grandchildren, he continued to build his political career as a racial bigot. He fought against the 1964 Civil Rights Act and supported racial segregation. Publicly, he didn’t want to see black children go to school with white children, yet privately he shared his bed with a black lady. His hypocrisy continued during the impeachment trial of President Clinton in the U.S. Senate. He voted against President Clinton’s sexual affair while knowing full well he was much more guilty. But wait, this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone because he was a Republican, and hypocrite is spelled GOP Now that one of Strom’s African American children has come forward to tell her story, will the rest also follow suit? Oh yeah, there are others ... I don’t understand why we would need or allow Billy or Frank to have our Civic Center. Putting up less than one percent of the total cost of a facility, then being allowed to run it? Keep your money and let the ones who pay for it run it: The taxpayers. Ed Turner, thanks for your advice to watch the Wilco documentary. No one in Augusta either rents or sells it. (I heard a rumor we were supposed to be the second largest city in Georgia.) This Hinckley guy who tried to assassinate Reagan, why is he alive? I mean, he’s living comfortably in a nut house. Brady is in a wheelchair. He wounded

but with an outstanding warrant for selling drugs, remained in jail for four months past the time the charges against him were dismissed, according to the article. Scary business.

two cops. He almost killed President Reagan! Why wasn’t he just shot dead? Now they are allowing him unsupervised visits from his parents! These visits can extend overnight. A big whine to all you people protesting the X-Mart. How come you all aren’t protesting down at the local nudie bars, or the local gay clubs or any nightclub where people are drinking themselves blind with alcohol. There’s a word for you all: Hypocrites. I guess as long as the cameras aren’t rolling, you’re not interested in protesting. Regarding Augusta’s proposed new civic arena. I hope this does come to fruition. We can’t even get the World Wrestling Entertainment Company to come to town anymore. Augusta has always been a big wrestling territory. It’s always been a sell-out but we can’t put enough people in there. I hope we do get a new civic center so that we can have decent acts come to this town. I agree with the Augusta commissioners and Mayor Bob Young. The last thing the city of Augusta needs is X-Mart. We have been plagued for years by the Disco Tech Lounge, the Joker, Baby Dolls — all these girly bars so that men can go in there an ogle women and treat them like they are nothing more than sexual objects. Now we have a place for the perverts to hang out. I agree with the Augusta commission and Mayor Bob Young: They need to be shut down. — Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.


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As Santa’s newest helper, I want to give you $500 cash to spend however you like…. Dear Homeowner, It’s true! I’ve just received word from the North Pole that I’ve officially been named as one of Santa’s Helpers. With this special assignment comes the power for me to do something very special for you …. From now until December 31, I am going to give you an immediate $500 cash rebate on any new furnace you buy from me. This is cash you can use to pay for holiday gifts, travel -- whatever you like. Think about this. If your furnace is 10 years old or older -- even if it’s still running -- you’re probably heating your home on borrowed time and paying more for utilities than you need to. But at this time of year, who really wants to think about buying a new furnace, right? That’s why I’m pleased Santa has asked for my help. In addition to the $500 instant cash-in-your-pocket rebate, here’s what else I’m going to give you: • $500-$1000 off the regular list price of a top-of-the-line furnace and air conditioning system

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Opinion: Insider

George Kolb’s Future

O

n Monday, Dec. 29, Augusta commissioners will meet to discuss the future of City Administrator George Kolb. Commissioners are required to inform Kolb of their decision six months prior George Kolb to the expiration of his contract. Otherwise, the contract automatically renews. The deadline for informing Kolb of their intent is Dec. 31. The commission is split on Kolb. Most African-American commissioners want to fire him while most white commissioners want to keep him. Commissioner Marion Williams initially led the charge to oust Kolb but he has been joined by several other commissioners who now would prefer for Kolb to leave. The big question is whether either side has the votes to win the struggle. Williams has been adamant about getting rid of Kolb and has attempted to cut deals with

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specific commissioners that would result in Kolb’s termination. This scenario provides an opportunity for some old-fashioned political horse trading. For example, Commissioner Steve Shepard wants to Steve Shepard replace outgoing City Attorney Jim Wall. Williams has attempted to convince Shepard not to vote for Kolb’s contract renewal in exchange for Williams’ vote for Shepard as city attorney. Reliable sources report that Shepard has refused that overture. A compromise is working its way through the back channels of commission communication that will impact the Dec. 29 meeting about Kolb’s contract. Metro Spirit will cover the meeting and report the outcome in the Dec. 31 edition. — The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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10 M E T R O S P I R I T

MetroBeat

D E C 2 5 2 0 0 3

Morris and Lawrence Face the Coliseum Authority

A

ugusta Entertainment LLC, the local company proposing the city of Augusta build a $94 million civic arena at the vacant Regency Mall site, brought out the big guns for its Dec. 23 meeting with the Augusta-Richmond County Coliseum Authority. Local businessmen William S. Morris III and Frank Lawrence, founders of Augusta Entertainment, presented the coliseum authority with their company’s proposal to construct a new 10,000- to 12,000-seat arena in south Augusta. “This will allow a new state-of-the-art building to be built in Augusta that is much larger than the one we’ve got,” Morris said on Dec. 23. “This is an old building and it really needs to be replaced. The life of these places are not indefinite. They do wear out. They need to change and grow. “And I think we are making a strong case here. Augusta can support a larger facility and it deserves a larger facility.” In effect, Morris and Lawrence were there to inform the authority of their company’s plans for the ultimate demise of the current downtown civic center. A civic center the coliseum authority has managed for more than 20 years. These are also the same two men – Morris, as chairman of the Augusta Futurity and the National Barrel Horse Association, and Lawrence, as owner of Augusta’s now-dormant arena football team – who have been highly critical of the civic center’s management by the public board and the shoddy conditions of the facility. Needless to say, the coliseum authority was a tough crowd. “We think we can make this happen,” Paul Simon, spokesperson for Augusta Entertainment, told the board. “But we’ve got a lot of work to do and we need everybody’s help. That’s why we’re here today.” What Lawrence and Morris have proposed is a public-private partnership with city and local investors. In November, Lawrence and Morris announced that they intend to sell shares in their company to local investors at $1,000 a unit, with the goal of raising approximately $3 million to pay off the $1 million loan Augusta

Entertainment used to recently purchase the Augusta Lynx hockey team, fund approximately three years of the company’s operations and also help promote developing the new arena. Buying shares in this company would not mean investors would own the new civic arena. The new $94 million arena would actually be owned by the city of Augusta, because public funds are being proposed to build the facility. Augusta Entertainment has suggested that the Augusta Commission ask voters to support spending $60 million of special purpose local option sales tax money on building a new arena at Regency Mall. Citizens are expected to vote on Phase V of SPLOST funding in July 2004. Augusta Entertainment is also asking the city to underwrite $24 million in excise tax bonds and $10 million in revenue bonds. In addition, Morris and Lawrence have requested that, if the new civic arena is built, Augusta Entertainment be allowed to contract with ScheerGame Sports Development, LLC., a management company from Jacksonville, Fla., that also operates the BI-LO Center in Greenville, S.C., to privately operate and manage Augusta’s arena. That would effectively eliminate a governing public body like the coliseum authority. But just because there wouldn’t be a public body managing the proposed civic arena, doesn’t mean the city would have no control over the facility, Simon tried to assure the board. “If we don’t do our job, they can fire us and get somebody else,” Simon said. However, there is still the matter of the existing civic center having approximately $6 million left to pay on its bond. Augusta Entertainment asked the authority to consider voting to sell the current civic center property to the city in order to pay off the bond indebtedness. Simon told the authority it made sense that the current civic center would then be torn down because Augusta couldn’t possibly support two such entertainment facilities. While Simon told the board it was too early to predict how profitable the arena could be, last November when Morris and Lawrence gave their first presentation for a new arena, Steven Stern, CEO

By Stacey Eidson

“I think we are making a strong case here. Augusta can support a larger facility and it deserves a larger facility.” – William S. Morris III, partner in Augusta Entertainment LLC


of ScheerGame, told the audience, “This building could make up to $1.5 million a year before contributing to debt service.” Under Augusta Entertainment’s proposal, the arena will take any profits made from the facility to service the bond and also earmark approximately $250,000 a year for a reserve cash account for the maintenance of the building. Then, the remaining portion will be cut into thirds. A third will go to pay off the 15-year bond and the remaining profits will be split between the city and Augusta Entertainment. Authority member Millard Cox said he didn’t believe that the building could possibly make that much money. “Can you tell me how much money the BI-LO Center has made to date? As a profit?” Cox asked Simon. While Simon said he was unsure, Morris told the board that he couldn’t quote actual numbers but it was a “financially successful center.” “That’s not what I’ve been told,” Cox said. “And you are talking about splitting a profit with the city. You know you are going to have to have a profit before you split it.” Simon simply replied, “I agree with that.” Authority member Joe Scott asked why Lawrence and Morris, as the new owners of the Augusta Lynx, are complaining so much about the current facility when the past owners of the hockey team said the civic center was a perfect atmosphere for a hockey game.

“(The Augusta Lynx General Manager) Paul Gamsby and Peter Gillespie, the former team owner, said they would not want to go anywhere else,” Scott said. “They said this was ideal for a hockey game.” Instead of building a new arena, Scott suggested that Augusta Entertainment support putting at least $20 million of sales tax monies into the current arena. “You want $94 million,” Scott said. “How inviting would it be for you if we ask for funding like $20 million to improve this building? Then you would have the best of both worlds.” But Morris and Lawrence didn’t quite see it that way. They felt that a new civic center in the proposed south Augusta location would be the best plan for the city’s future. “This type of plan works in other places,” Morris said after Simon’s presentation. “In every case where these new facilities have been built, the areas around them have taken on new growth and it’s just been good for everybody. It’s working in other cities and I think it will work well here.” Morris said under this proposed private-public partnership, the motivation changes. “We know we’ve got to make a profit,” Morris said. “We’ve got to think about the bottom line. So, we have a whole ‘nother dynamic that is not in play here (at the civic center). If it works like the others have worked, then the city will win, the citizens will win, the bonds will be paid off and all these things will work very well.”

11

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All They Want for Christmas Is a Job

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By Brian Neill

C

hecking his e-mails from behind a desk, with a cell-phone pressed to his ear, Keith Partridge looked like any other person at work. But in this case, Partridge wasn’t at work; he was looking for it. Inside the Georgia Department of Labor Career Center offices at 601 Greene St. on a recent afternoon, Partridge was sending out and checking responses to his résumé and scanning the Internet for job openings. A project manager and contractor, Partridge has been out of work for about the past month after completing a job in King of Prussia, Pa. with Lockheed Martin Space Operations. Partridge had been through this routine before, owing to the fact that the nature of his work is cyclical. “Projects are finite entities; they have a definite start and a definite end,” Partridge said. “So as a contractor, you basically work until you work yourself out of a job or that particular portion of the job has ended. Once that’s done, you’re back to job-shopping again. I’ve done that for the last eight years.” But he acknowledged that the experience of having gone through this routine before doesn’t make it any more pleasant to do, particularly at Christmas time. The 50-year-old has two children and a wife whose birthday also happens to be in December.

“It’s just real tight,” Partridge said. “You know, you have Christmas coming up, you’re going to have her birthday coming up, and then I have my kids I have to take care of, and

resulted in her termination during the first week in December. Cunningham, who was employed for the better part of four years as a directory assis-

Keith Partridge uses the Georgia Department of Labor’s Career Center on Greene Street to look for a job. tance operator with a major communications where’s the money coming from?” company, is currently filing a grievance with Minnie Cunningham was also going her workers’ union in the dispute. through the process of trying to find a job Meantime, Cunningham, 41, has to find other work. after a dispute she had with a supervisor

“I’ve made a few contacts,”Cunningham said, seated at one of the agency’s computer terminals. “Around Christmas time, you know, people have already done their hiring for Christmas so it’s really tough right about now to get something for the Christmas season. But hopefully, the first of the year things will look better. “It’s like the worst time of year to not have a job, because at Christmas time it’s just a bad — probably more than normal — feeling,” Cunningham added. “To just be without a job and you really can’t get into the spirit of Christmas.” Fortunately, for those like Partridge and Cunningham, there have been recent, drastic changes at the Labor Department. Gone are the stereotypical long lines and bureaucratic blank stares. “The (Georgia Department of Labor) commissioner, Michael Thurmond, has made a mandate that no one will wait in line to receive services from the Department of Labor and we hold true to that,” said Beverly Johnson, manager of the local Department of Labor Career Center. “You know, when people think about the unemployment office, they think about the big glass (window) and, ‘Take a number and have a seat.’ It’s not like that anymore. We have truly done away with that tradition. continued on page 14


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Beverly Johnson “Everything is automated now. We have a greeter in the hallway to direct traffic. We don’t have that congestion and that backlog. There is a wait to be seen by someone, but we have other activities for our customers to be doing while they’re waiting to be seen by a specialist. We have computers downstairs that they can actively look for jobs, they can actually work on their résumés, they can do some skills-building while they wait.” The Labor Department has also implemented many new programs such as Georgia Works, which allows those who have lost a job through no fault of their own to train with an employer for up to eight weeks, 24 hours per week, Johnson said. While enrolled in the program, the person seeking employment can still draw unemployment benefits and also has potential to receive a stipend to aid in transitioning into a full-time position, should the employer choose to hire the enrollee. Augusta’s Labor Department Career Center is also what’s known as a “one-stop” agency, Johnson said. “We have a DFCS (Department of Family and Children Services) rep, Augusta Tech, a Job Corps rep, Augusta Housing Authority,” Johnson said, adding that a total of 16 agencies are represented at the Career Center. “They (clients) come here and everything is here. They don’t have to run all over town, from this office to this office.” And contrary to what many might think, Johnson said, not all people who come to the Career Center are unemployed. “One of the things we’re trying to do is change what the perception is in the mind of the public,” Johnson said. “This is not the ‘unemployment office’; these are career centers to not only help people become employed, but become better employed.” While unemployment has been a sore subject in the nation since the events of Sept. 11, the Associated Press reported several weeks ago that the nation’s

unemployment rate was actually beginning to decline, reaching an eight-month low of 5.9 percent in November. Still, some economists say it’s too early to get excited about such reports. In fact, the same article pointed out that, despite the improvement in overall unemployment, long-term unemployment was at an all-time high. About two million people, AP reported, had been out of work for more than six months — a situation the nation’s workforce hasn’t experienced for more than 20 years. Georgia saw a slight increase in employment over the past year. According to the most recent Georgia Labor Department data from October, the state added 70,700 non-farm jobs within the past year — an increase of about 1.8 percent over last year. Those sectors with the biggest job gains included construction (18,100 jobs), local government and school system positions (10,600 jobs) and health care and social assistance industries (10,000 jobs). The biggest loser was manufacturing. That sector lost 5.4 percent of its workforce — 24,100 jobs — within the past year, according to Labor Department data. The Augusta-Aiken area added about 3,000 jobs — an increase of 1.6 percent — in the past year, according to Labor Department data. Most of those jobs were in the service sector. The last time Cunningham filed for unemployment was back in 1990, she said. Cunningham said the new services and friendlier way of doing business at the Career Center are helpful to her. “I really like the new way they do it,” she said. “It’s a lot more up-to-date. You can access the Internet and search for jobs at home. You can come down here and do résumés and letters. All the services are free. You can go upstairs and go through some of the job classes they have.” Partridge said it would be easy to get frustrated and upset at being unemployed during this time of year, but he replaces those feelings with a determined attitude. Cunningham said it’s important to have a multi-pronged approach to job-hunting. “When you’re doing your job search, you have to use more than just one vehicle to look for jobs,” Patridge said. “I use Monster (.com), I use Yahoo, I use one of my job sites that’s more indicative to the field I’m in ... So I use a plethora of job sites to look for work.” Just that morning, Partridge had gotten a call from an employment agency, asking him to e-mail his résumé for review. But that didn’t mean Partridge was ready to call it a day. “It’s like a 9-to-5,” Partridge said. “If you’re looking for a job, you have to look for it from 9 to 5. You can’t look for it when you get ready or just when you get a whim. “You have to be very, very diligent.” The Labor Department Career Center is open from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. To contact, call (706) 721-3131.


a S hock

and

wful

A Look Back at 2003

W

hat a soul-crushing, hope-strangling time to be alive. If you were part of a flash mob, a blogger, a homosexual or a Halliburton executive, 2003 was an absolute banner year for you. For everyone else, it was 12 months of a steady crap rain. It feels like God has been running a threecard monte game on his peeps. Everything we believe in turns out to be a sham, a cheap hustle, even (dare I say it) a lie. War is security, death is progress and those fistsized tumors erupting on your neck just prove how healthy you are. How did everything get so twisted? Bill Bennett is a raging slot addict and Rush Limbaugh gobbles pills like he’s lead singer for the Stone Temple Pilots. Sammy Sosa’s bat is corked, Barry Bonds’ biceps are juiced and you don’t have to actually understand the law to be a judge in Alabama. People who ate green onions died, but, tragically, David Blaine did not. Tigers make excellent house pets as long as you don’t mind finding chunks of yourself in their litter box. And even Paris Hilton has a bit of a wild streak. Who knew? The year opened on a jittery note. While giving his State of the Union speech from the flight deck of an aircraft carrier in the shadow of a “Mission Activated” banner and flanked by bloody heads of anti-war protesters mounted on spikes, President Bush reiterated his credentials as a peaceful man. It was during the speech that Bush uttered those controversial 16 words: “With Osama missing and the economy tanking, my only shot at reelection is invading Iraq. Yee-haw!” Thus on the night of the Oscars, a thoroughly international coalition composed of America, Great Britain, Gondor, Freedonia, Lillyput and the Island of Dr.

By Roger Naylor

Moreau tapped a keg of whoop-ass on the cradle of civilization. At first, the war went swimmingly. The air assault began just before the Best Sound Editing awards and by the time Adrian Brody was freedom kissing Halle Berry, troops had entered Baghdad, pulled down a statue of Saddam and a dozen Starbucks were open for business. No weapons of mass destruction were immediately found in Iraq, leading many in the administration to suspect they had been smuggled out of the country by the Dixie Chicks. Meanwhile, back in America, Dick Smothers Jr. launched his porn career while Madonna took a break from hers to publish children’s books. The Material Girl put her own spin on existing classics with such titles as “Goldilocks and the Three Backup Dancers,” “Bi-Curious George,” “The Vibrator on Pooh’s Nightstand” and “The Putting Out Tree.” Steve Case resigned as chairman of AOL Time Warner. Case said he wanted to spend more time with his family, possibly merging them with a larger, more established family, then running them both into the ground. Other relationships that once seemed solid also crumbled. The Buttafucos divorced. Liza Minnelli and David Gest went splitsville. Yet Kobe Bryant and his wife stayed together. Despite the rape charges against him, their relationship is built on a rock — a $4 million rock that Mrs. Bryant currently sports on her finger. Virtues nazi Bill Bennett admitted that he liked to eat breakfast off a hooker’s chest after particularly cruel slot benders. But he maintained that he is not a hypocrite because nowhere in his moral scoldings did he ever condemn using women as Fiestaware. Stepping in to fill the morality void, WalMart announced they would conceal the covers of such scandalous magazines as

“Redbook” and “Glamour.” “We are afraid our clientele might be offended by the revealing photos,” said a statement released by the retail behemoth. “Of course there are some who would say that glimpsing Catherine Zeta Jones in a strapless evening gown isn’t as offensive as watching some manatee wearing a tube top and a pair of Daisy Dukes as she waddles through housewares, popping out her dentures in a playful manner to try and quiet her screaming brood of waterheads. But at the present time we have no plans to try and conceal our customers.” Outdoor enthusiast Aaron Ralston found himself trapped and in horrible pain. Yet he summoned up incredible courage, and using only a dull pocketknife, cut off his own arm to escape a screening of “Gigli.” The situation in Iraq continued to improve through the summer and was upgraded from morass to quagmire. The Bush administration pointed to the increasing number and effectiveness of attacks against coalition forces as proof that “the Viet Cong — er, insurgents are on the run.” In a fair and open bidding process, lucrative reconstruction contracts were won by Halliburton, who edged out Enron, Leggo and Larry, Daryl and Daryl from the old Newhart show. To remind Americans how much safer the world is under his and the president’s watch, a hologram of Dick Cheney appeared on Sunday talk shows. It was beamed via satellite from his secret underground fortress. A leaked memo caused Donald Rumsfeld much embarrassment when it was revealed that Condoleeza Rice was so not attracted to him and that she had no interest in hooking up at the mall later. Allegations of inappropriate behavior threatened to derail Arnold Schwarzenegger’s campaign in the race for California governor. But days before the election, the film star

issued a public apology. “I apologize to women who did not enjoy it when I tuned their nipples like radio dials before we were introduced.” Rush Limbaugh admitted he was addicted to “hillbilly heroin.” Acting on a tip from his maid/drug mule, the “National Enquirer” filmed the conservative pundit behind the barn, tying his arm off with baling wire then shooting up with a corncob syringe. Deciding that prison wasn’t right for a man of his carriage, Limbaugh entered a drug rehab program where he lost a fortune betting on silverfish races with Courtney Love. Through the application of biotechnology and genetic tracking, pop star Jessica Simpson was able to pinpoint subtle molecular differences between tuna and chicken. Scientists hailed the discovery as a breakthrough in both sandwich and salad preparation. In a stunning development that could have national implications, a Massachusetts court ruled that metrosexuals have a right to marry. Gay allegations swirled around Prince Charles when an aide claimed to witness the prince in a blatantly homosexual act. The aide walked in and caught the prince proposing to Liza Minnelli. Montecore was branded the Yoko Ono of white tigers after breaking up Siegfried and Roy. A rash of pregnancies followed a blackout on the East Coast. The most popular baby name is expected to be Bennifer. Michael Jackson was dragged from Neverland in handcuffs. And not the Fisher-Price ones he prefers. And President Bush secured a political victory when Congress passed sweeping Medicare reform legislation that will provide seniors with access and a drastic discount for soylent green. Now we can rest easy because at last our future is secure. Mission Auld Lang Syne.

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Bite

Champagne, Champagne Everywhere … But What If You Don’t Like the Stuff? By Amy Fennell Christian

L

et’s just get this one admission out of the way right off the bat. This article started out as an informative piece to give you, the Metro Spirit reader, some hip drink alternatives to champagne or sparkling wines during your New Year’s Eve celebration. But, as one bartender we talked to so succinctly put it, “I don’t know of any drink as elegant as champagne is.” Indeed. Since its accidental inception during the 1600s — and its development by a Benedictine monk named, you guessed it, Dom Pérignon — champagne has been the drink of choice for the English and French royalty. According to the Into Wine Web site (www.intowine.com), sales of the bubbly nearly quadrupled between 1945 and 1966, and it’s no longer a luxury reserved for the upper classes. So why is champagne considered the “wine of celebration”? Maybe it’s the miracle of its birth (before being manufactured purposefully, bubbles unpredictably appeared in bottles of still wine and often caused bottles to shatter) which signifies that anything is possible — something particularly appropriate in ringing in a new year. Maybe it’s the satisfying pop of the cork (something which, according to proper champagne corking techniques, should not happen) or the way it tends to gush from the just-opened bottle (also a no-no). Or maybe, as gastronomy scholar Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin noted, it makes you do all the silly things you usually only think about. Whatever the reason, you’ll hardly be able to escape the stuff come next Wednesday around, say, midnight. So come to the party prepared with everything from impressive champagne tricks to ways to get around imbibing the bubbly if you’re not a big fan. Hip Drink Alternatives Nothing may be as elegant as champagne, but anything served in a cocktail glass will give you that retro-‘50s glam look. And who can argue with a classic cocktail like a martini or Manhattan?

“BURGUNDY MAKES YOU THINK OF SILLY THINGS;

BORDEAUX MAKES YOU TALK ABOUT THEM, AND CHAMPAGNE MAKES YOU DO THEM.” — BRILLAT-SAVARIN

Remove only enough foil to loosen the wire hood surrounding the cork. While doing so, hold a finger or thumb over the cork so it won’t dislodge on its own. Remove the wire hood unless the cork is loose. If it is, keep following the directions but keep the hood on. Hold the bottle away from you (and other targets) at a 45-degree angle. Hold the cork still and turn the bottle in either direction. Never turn the cork. The cork should dislodge with little sound. Wipe the neck of the bottle with a clean cloth before pouring. Pour one-handed by placing your thumb in the indentation at the bottom and spreading your fingers around the bottle. Pour an inch or so into all glasses (preferably flutes or tulip-shaped ones; never the dessert dish looking things).

But if you want something really different, just ask your local bartender. Most have created their own specialties or know of new ones you may have never heard of before. Veritas, for instance, serves a drink called “gorgeous,” a mixture of mandarin-infused vodka and armagnac served in a brandy snifter. Or how about the “pleasure zone” at Cadwallader’s, a blend of Grey Goose l’orange, Parrot Bay rum, cranberry juice, chambord and fresh lime juice served in a pewterstemmed martini glass. Or even the “Sammy Hagar Special” at Metro: a two-toned margarita served up. Up All Night Worried about drinking too much and missing the big event altogether? Then Red Bull, a fizzy energy drink containing caffeine, may be the mixer for you (although doctors warn that drinking too many of these mixed drinks may be dangerous). The product, first developed as a sports drink, has become increasingly popular as a mixer and it’s most commonly paired with vodka. We sampled one at a local bar and, frankly, it tasted like cough syrup, its faint berry flavor doing little to disguise the bitter medicinal aftertaste. Another company has developed a similar energy drink with the unfortunate name of Sum Poosie that, nonetheless, tastes a little like cherry limeade and is much better than Red Bull. The (Extremely) Proper Way To Serve Champagne Chill the bubbly to between 43-48 degrees Fahrenheit by placing the unopened bottle in a bucket filled with half ice and half water for 20-30 minutes. You can also chill it in the fridge for 3-4 hours, but never put it in the freezer.

“I DRINK CHAMPAGNE WHEN I’M HAPPY AND WHEN I’M SAD. SOMETIMES I DRINK IT WHEN I’M ALONE. WHEN I HAVE COMPANY I CONSIDER IT OBLIGATORY. I TRIFLE WITH IT IF I’M NOT HUNGRY AND DRINK IT

I AM. OTHERWISE I NEVER TOUCH IT — UNLESS I’M THIRSTY.”

WHEN

— MADAM LILLY BOLLINGER

Allow froth to settle before going around again, filling each to about 2/3 full. Oddest Champagne Pairing And now, as a parting gift, we leave you with possibly the oddest champagne drink on the planet. Serve this at your New Year’s party just to see the looks on your guests’ faces. Black Velvet Mix equal parts chilled champagne and room temperature Guinness and serve in a pint glass.


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18 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C

Arts

& Entertainment

2 5 2 0 0 3

Modjeska Makes Going Out an Event

“I

t’s still, to some extent, a hidden treasure,” says Jody Smith, bar manager at Broad Street fixture Modjeska, of the downtown hotspot. Nestled snugly between Eighth and Ninth Streets, Modjeska is quickly becoming known for its unique, eclectic vibe — and its lavish, big-city-style shindigs. Unless you’ve been living in an underground bunker during 2003, there’s no way you could miss hearing the buzz about the club’s special events, ventures designed to push the envelope a bit: a lingerie and pajama party — promised to be a Victoria’s Secret catalog come to life! — ‘70s and ‘80s themed nights and the white party, to name a few. “Those have been huge,” says Smith. “We do one a month; it usually falls on the second Saturday of the month. That’s how we sort of plan it on the calendar. We’ll plan a theme party out and we put a lot of time and effort into it and really make it a first-class event … It’s like you’re entering a whole new place.” Indeed, Modjeska seems to be the chameleon of the Augusta nightclub scene. In addition to its sometimes naughty, sometimes nice, fare, the club hosts events like “Theology on Tap,” Catholic discussion sessions for the barage crowd in a relaxed atmosphere, and new idea “The Comedy Zone,” as well as boasting a diverse mix of music. On the nights a DJ spins Latin music, “You’ll think you just walked into a nightclub in Havana,” Smith says. “And the next night, we can do all European dance, and it’s just a totally different vibe.” If the worldly feel of Modjeska fits, it’s

probably because Jody and Co. travel the globe — that’s right, the globe — to bring ideas for their events to Augusta. “I book all the entertainment. I plan all these events that we have with the help of the owner and the other manager that works here, the bar manager. The three of us are the ones that plan all this stuff,” says Smith. “We try to travel a lot to other cities. We travel a lot, and we go out a lot. We go out to a lot of lounges, a lot of clubs, and we try to hit the highend ones. “We just got back from Europe, and we’re about to go to Paris for a week. When we go out, it might be going out to Savannah, but we’re going to hit the slinky lounges and the best nightclub in town and find out what they’re doing. You kind of borrow ideas and you bring them back here.” It’s not just the European scene the Modjeska folks are hitting — there are a few locales right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. that have made their impression on the club’s inner circle. “Miami has been a huge inspiration,” says Smith. “The clubs in Miami are some of the best in the country and the scene there is incredible. It’s got the best nightlife scene of any city I’ve seen in the U.S., and a lot of what we do at Modjeska is sort of borrowed from some of the clubs in Miami.” Even with all the Modjeska love that’s been in the air as of late, the club isn’t without its critics, those who say that the club’s big-city vibe and dress code aren’t exactly Augusta material. “Some people will say, ‘Oh, they’re too big city,’ but we want to bring a different element here,” Smith explains. “It’s nice

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“We might have a big-city look and big-city ideas, but we’re still small-town folks.” — Jody Smith, bar manager at Modjeska to go out and really experience how I think nightlife was intended to be, more upscale, more of an event. You dress different, you put on different clothes. It could be funky, it could be clean, intelligent. And that’s what Modjeska is all about, trying to bring more of that vibe to Augusta, more of an upscale, fashion conscious, musically aware type of place. You don’t have to know a whole lot about big cities or nightlife or interior design to know this place is tight.” And if it’s the dress code in particular that worries you, Smith explained that it’s not as daunting as it sounds. “You don’t have to wear a suit and tie to come in here; all you have to do is show up and look like you’re going out. It’s OK to put on a nice pair of pants and a nice shirt.” In 2004, Smith anticipates to host more of the same events that have been successful — particularly the lingerie and white parties and Ladies’ Lounge — as well as unveiling a few new surprises. “We’ve got the whole calendar of 2004 already planned. We’ve got one (special event) a month planned, and we’re going to do some of the same ones we did this year that were huge, and they’re going to become an annual event,” Smith says. “And then we’ve got some new ones that

we’re going to debut in 2004. We’re going to push the envelope a little more. “One of the things we want to bring in 2004 are some international DJs that are big, big in the sense of electronic music. These are going to be cutting-edge DJs. We want to push the envelope musically, too.” “The Comedy Zone” brings national comedians to Modjeska on Thursday nights, and it’s one of the new events the club has already launched. “It looks like a comedy house when you come in,” says Smith. “It’s very inviting. You walk in and there’s candles everywhere.” And if comedy’s not your thing, show up around 10:30, and Modjeska will magically be transformed back into a nightclub. It’s Modjeska’s physical space that gives the club its ambiance. “The club’s an old theatre, so we’ve got a lot of space to work with,” says Smith. “It’s definitely unique. The front bar is much more intimate. The back bar is a little more open, a little clubbier, but I think everything comes together. We’re like a chameleon, just always changing for the better. We’re adding a new lounge in the club right now with a new bar. “We might have a big-city look and big-city ideas, but we’re still smalltown folks.”

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8

DaysA Week

Arts

Auditions

THE AUGUSTA CHORALE will hold auditions for new members Jan. 5 and 12, 6:30 p.m., in the Gilber t-Lambuth Memorial Chapel of Paine College. Interested persons must be prepared to sing and be able to read music. For information, contact Jayme Smalley at 733-7809. ENOPION THEATRE COMPANY is looking for volunteers to act, sing, sew, build and more for their new musical, “Creation.” Applications are available at www.imaryproductions.com or by calling (803) 442-9039. SWEET ADELINES HARMONY RIVER CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Rehearsals will not be held during the end of December. Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

Education

ADULT BEGINNER GUITAR CLASS offered by Nor th Augusta Parks, Recreation and Leisure Services begins in January. Open to students 14 years of age and up. For more information and to reserve a spot in class, call Michael at 823-5818 or e-mail simonsays_ed_resources@hotmail.com. ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday af ternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or par tners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016. ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Winter classes begin Jan. 6; those seeking scholarships for the quar ter must apply by Jan. 5. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pot tery, weaving and sculpture. For a newsletter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Ger trude Herber t, call 722-5495. The Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number. ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Programs include voice lessons and pantomime workshops, as well as classes in dance, theater, music, visual ar ts and writing. Call 731-0008 for details.

Exhibitions WORKS BY SALLY GOODWIN will be on display in the ar t hall of Sacred Hear t Cultural Center throughout January and February. Ar tist reception 5-7 p.m. Jan. 8. Call 826-4700 for more information.

ANNUAL DOLLS EXHIBITION through Dec. 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. For additional information, visit www.lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. AT BROADSTROKES ART GALLERY in December: works by Marilyn Landers and Jim Fir th. For more information, call Broadstrokes at 774-1026. “CITY COWS AND COUNTRY DOGS” exhibit of works by Rober t Marinich at the Banker Dearing Gallery through Dec. 31. Call 823-1060. THE POTTERY OF NELLIE ANDREWS PIERCE will be at the Ar t Factory through Jan. 9. Call 731-0008 for info. “LET’S PLAY: PASTIMES FROM THE PAST” through Feb. 15 at the Augusta Museum of History. For more information, call 722-8454. “ANGELS ALL AROUND” exhibit through Dec. 31 at Aiken County Historical Museum. For information, call (803) 642-2015. “THE LOW COUNTRY: PAINTINGS BY PRESTON RUSSELL” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Jan. 11. For more info, call 724-7501. “BABY BOOM DAYDREAMS: THE ART OF DOUGLAS BOURGEOIS” will be on exhibit at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Feb. 15. Call 724-7501 for information. “EDWARD RICE: RECENT MONOTYPES” exhibit at the Morris Museum of Ar t runs through Jan. 4. Call 724-7501. “DEANNE DUNBAR: OBJECTS OF DESIRE” will be on display at the Rabold Gallery in Aiken through Feb. 14. For more information, call (803) 641-4405 or e-mail raboldgallery@bellsouth.net.

AVIS LYLE AND MARY ALICE LOCKHART exhibit in the ar t hall at Sacred Hear t Cultural Center throughout December. Call 826-4700.

Dance

THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honor the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information.

Music

“R ABIN REMEMBERED” photographic exhibition highlighting the life and accomplishments of Prime Minister Yitzchak Rabin at the Augusta Jewish Community Center. Free admission. 228-3636.

NEWSONG’S ALL-NEW WINTER JAM SPECTACULAR with Audio Adrenaline, Reliant K, Todd Agnew, Jadyn Maria and Brock Gill Jan. 8, 7 p.m., at the AugustaRichmond County Civic Center. Tickets are $10 at the door. Call 722-3521 for information.

PAINTINGS BY LINDA BAACK will be at the Gibbs Library throughout December. 863-1946.

GOSPEL CELEBR ATION WITH DOTTIE PEOPLES Jan. 3, 5 p.m., at the Bell Auditorium. Tickets are $25 in

“Baby Boom Daydreams: The Art of Douglas Bourgeois” will be on display at the Morris Museum of Art through Feb. 15.


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“Recent Monotypes,” a display of works by Edward Rice, is at the Morris Museum of Art through Jan. 4.

John Dowdy • John Dowdy, Jr. • David Williams advance or $28 the day of the show. For more information, call 722-3521. “STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN” at the Bell Auditorium has been rescheduled for Jan. 17. Tickets are $34 for floor seats and seating in par ts of the balcony and $28 in the rest of the balcony. Call 722-3521.

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MOTORIZED TOURS OF HISTORIC AIKEN every Saturday, 1011:30 a.m. Tours leave from the Washington Center for the Performing Arts. Reservations are required, and patrons must be age 2 and older. (803) 642-7631. AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admitted free. Guided boat tours of the Augusta Canal depart from the docks at Enterprise Mill at 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Tour tickets are $6 adults, $5 seniors and $4 students and children. For tour information, call 823-7089. For other info, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440. THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages 5 and under. 722-9828. AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4-12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the

wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org. REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quar ters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be offered at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island. SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700. HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free. Call 724-4067. THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Museums “TERRA COGNITA” CONTEMPORARY ARTISTS LECTURE SERIES begins Jan. 8 at the Morris Museum of Ar t with a program by Judy Onofrio. Lectures begin at 7 p.m. and are followed with a meet-the-ar tist reception. Admission is $3 for adults, $2 for seniors, military personnel and students, and free for Morris Museum members, college and university students and faculty with ID. 724-7501. “TRAVEL WITH THE MORRIS” to the Mint Museum of Ar t in Charlot te, N.C., Jan. 8. Reservations are due by Dec. 30 and day trip includes showing of “Raphael to Monet: European Masterpieces” exhibit, boxed breakfast, museum admission, lunch, transpor tation and hors d’oeuvres. Cost is $90 for Morris Museum of Ar t members and $125 for non-members. Call 724-7501. ARTRAGEOUS SUNDAY! Jan. 4, 2 p.m., at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Par ticipants will create a shadow box assemblage. The theme for the project is “peace,” so par ticipants are encouraged, but not required, to bring objects from home that represent this concept. Free admission. 724-7501.


BROWN BAG HISTORY SERIES at the Augusta Museum of History noon, Jan. 7, is a program on World War II Air Force pilots. Program is free to members, $3 for non-members, and reservations are required. Bring your lunch and the museum provides a beverage and desser t. Call 722-8454 by Jan. 6 to reserve your place. MASTERWORKS OF SOUTHERN ART TOUR 2 p.m. Dec. 28 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Free admission. 724-7501. “CELEBRATION OF FLIGHT” exhibit at For t Discovery’s Knox Gallery runs through Jan. 31. Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. For more information, visit www.NationalScienceCenter.org or call 821-0200. THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Saturday by appointment only. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 or visit www.ghia.org for more info. THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information. THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details. THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. ThursdayMonday. For more information, call 556-3448. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events SWAMP SATURDAY hike through Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Jan. 3, 9:30 a.m. Come prepared with seasonal items, comfor table walking shoes, bot tled water and weather-appropriate outerwear. Cameras and binoculars are also welcome. Free; donation accepted. 828-2109. ANNUAL KWANZAA FESTIVAL 6-10 p.m. Dec. 27 at Julian Smith Casino. Tickets are $10 per person and include traditional Kwanzaa dinner feast, lighting of the Kwanzaa candles, guest speaker and live enter tainment. Call Jerry Smith, 582-5249, or Sylvia Robinson, 7746905, for tickets. “DIGISTAR LASER FANTASY” program Dec. 26-27 and Jan. 2-3 at the Dupont Planetarium in Aiken. Shows begin at 9 p.m. and ticket prices are $5.50 adults, $4.50 senior citizens and $3.50 students K-12. Call (803) 641-3769 or (803) 641-3654. CHRISTMAS IN HOPELANDS 6-9 p.m. Dec. 25-27 at Hopelands in Aiken. Light displays, ar tisans’ showcase and holiday concer ts. Free admission, but donations are appreciated. Shut tle buses run from the parking lot of the Goodwill Store on Whiskey Road and Winn Dixie on York Street. (803) 642-7631. “‘TIS THE SEASON” show at the Dupont Planetarium Dec. 27 and 30 and Jan. 2-3 at 7 and 8 p.m. Prices are $4.50 adults, $3.50 senior citizens and $2.50 students K-12. Call (803) 641-3769. MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com. COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz

23

off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aarf.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836.

M E T R O

THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

S P I R I T

Out of Town

“A LION IN WINTER” will be at The New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta Jan. 2-Feb. 1. Optional British pub-style menu available one hour and 15 minutes before the per formance.Tickets are $19.50$24.50. Call (404) 874-5299.

D E C

“CATS” will be at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta Jan. 7-11. Tickets range from $20-$54; call (404) 817-8700.

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NEW YEAR’S EVE PEACH DROP Dec. 31 at Underground Atlanta. Celebration starts at noon with live entertainment by The Temptations Review featuring Dennis Edwards, The Drifters, Cherish, Princess and Seven Sharp Nine. For more information, call (404) 523-2311.

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“A CHRISTMAS CAROL” will be presented through Dec. 28 on the Alliance Stage in Atlanta as part of the Alliance Theatre Company’s Family Series. For ticket information, visit www.alliancetheatre.org or call (404) 733-4600. “ATLANTA BALLET’S NUTCRACKER” will be performed by the Atlanta Ballet through Dec. 27 at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta. For tickets, call (404) 817-8700. “FANTASY IN LIGHTS” holiday light show at Callaway Gardens in Pine Mountain, Ga., through Dec. 28. For ticket info, call 1-800-CALLAWAY. HISTORIC COLUMBIA HOUSE MUSEUM GUIDED TOURS through Jan. 4. Guided holiday tours are available every hour on the hour 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday and 14 p.m. Sunday. Admission is $5 per house for adults and $3 per house for children ages 6-17. Children under 6 and members of Historic Columbia admitted free. Combination ticket for all four houses is $18 on Saturday and Sunday. (803) 252-1770, ext. 24. AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Enchanting Modern: Ilonka Karasz, 1896-1981” through Feb. 8; works by Armin Landeck through Feb. 8; “Decorative Arts at Woodstock” through March. Visit www.uga.edu/gamuseum or call (706) 542-4662 for info. “THE HOLLY AND THE IVY” holiday celebration at Biltmore Estate in Asheville, N.C., through Jan. 4. For information, call 1-800-922-0046 or (828) 225-1333 or visit www.biltmore.com. “EDWARD HOPPER AND URBAN REALISM” will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art in Columbia, S.C., through Jan. 18. (803) 799-2810. “A SALUTE TO 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME AWARDS” runs through Jan. 18 at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga. Exhibits, programs and events honoring the 25th anniversary of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame awards. Call 1-888GA-ROCKS for info. AT THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART in Atlanta: “The Undiscovered Richard Meier: The Architect as Designer and Ar tist” through April 4; “Af ter Whistler: The Ar tist and His Influence on American Painting” through Feb. 8; and “Verrocchio’s David Restored: A Renaissance Bronze From the National Museum of the Bargello, Florence” through Feb. 8 Call (404) 733HIGH or visit www.high.org for information.

It’s the last weekend to catch the light display at Hopelands in Aiken. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations.

CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5294.

AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

STROKE SUPPORT GROUP meets the last Wednesday of the month, 1-2 p.m., in the outpatient classroom at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. 823-5213.

Learning USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers Italian, Ar t for Beginners, Debt-Free Living, Financial Strategies, Taming the Wild Child, Paralegal Cer tificate Course and more. Travelearn learning vacations for adults and Education to Go online courses also available. For info, phone (803) 641-3563. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now offering the following classes: QuarkXPress, A Prosperous Retirement, Intermediate Investing, All Things Dutch, Origami and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

Benefits

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: computer technology courses, healthcare courses, contractor programs, real estate courses and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

NEW YEAR’S EVE BASH to benefit the mentoring programs of 100 Black Men of Augusta, Inc., Dec. 31, 8 p.m.-1 a.m. at The Gordon Club at For t Gordon. Tickets are $35. Call 724-3220, 651-8444 or 733-0923.

Health

BLACK AND WHITE MASKED BALL fundraiser for the Aiken Community Playhouse Dec. 31. Tickets are $100 per person and are available by calling (803) 648-1438.

AUGUSTA RED CROSS LIFEGUARD TRAINING Dec. 29-Jan. 5. Par ticipants must be 15 years of age or older and able to swim. Cost is $115 and the course will be taught at the Augusta Aquatics Center. To register, call 724-8483.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 7906836 for information. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan

WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL AMPUTEE CLINIC for new and experienced prosthetic users meets the third Thursday of each month, 1-3 p.m. 722-1244. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers a number of health programs, including Fibromyalgia Aquatics, Water Aerobics, Wheelchair and Equipment Clinics, Theraputic Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture, Children’s Medical Services Clinic, Special Needs Safety Seat Loaner Program, Focus on Healing exercise class for breast cancer survivors and more. Call 823-5294 for information. THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the first Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and suppor t for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467. DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Jan. 6 program is entitled “Color Me Organized.” Call 721-6838 for information. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details.

AUGUSTA BRAIN INJURY SUPPORT GROUP meets the second Thursday of every month, 6 p.m., at Walton West TLC. Brain injury survivors and their family members and caregivers are invited to at tend. 737-9300.

Kids

FORE THE HEALTH OF IT ADAPTIVE GOLF CLINICS held the first Tuesday of every month at First Tee of Augusta. Physical and occupational therapists from Walton Rehabilitation Hospital will guide the course. Call 823-8691.

KINDERMUSIK CLASSES at the Augusta Jewish Community Center begin in January. Kindermusik Our Time for ages 18 months to 3 1/2 years held 11 a.m. Wednesdays, beginning Jan. 14, and is $190. Kindermusik Village for ages 0-18 months held 11:15


Mondays, beginning Jan. 12, and is $195. 24 a.m. Register by Jan. 5 at 228-3636. M E CHRISTMAS CAMP 9 a.m.-noon Dec. 29-31 at T Harrison-Caver Park in Clearwater. Call (803) 593R 4698 for info. O S P I R I T

HOLIDAY CAMPS at Riverview Park Activites Center in Nor th Augusta Dec. 29-31. Camps are from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and open to children ages 6-12. Registration required. Cost is $25 per day, with discounts available to activity center members. For more information, call (803) 441-4311.

D FAMILY Y HOLIDAY CAMPS held 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. E 26, 29-30 and Jan. 2. Early drop-of f and late pick-up C available. On Dec. 31, camp hours are from 9 a.m.2 5

noon only. Call 738-6678.

FORT DISCOVERY HOLIDAY CAMP Dec. 29-30. For 2 information, visit www.nationalsciencecenter.org.

0 0 AIKEN COUNTY PONY CLUB meets weekly. Open to 3 children of all ages who par ticipate or are interested in

equestrian spor ts. For more information, contact Lisa Smith at (803) 649-3399.

FREE CAR SEAT EDUCATION CLASSES for parents and other caregivers the third Monday of every month from 911 a.m. at MCG Children’s Medical Center. Registration is required; those who are Medicaid or Peachcare eligible should indicate status during registration and bring a card or proof of income to class in order to receive a free car seat. 721-KIDS. GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs through May 21. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergar ten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-off, homework room and a hot evening meal. For information, call 733-2512. WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors HOME-BASED CARE available for low- to mid-income families seeking alternatives to nursing home placement. To participate, individuals must be aged 60 or up or must have disability status as defined by Social Security Administration guidelines. Applicants must also meet program income guidelines. For more information, contact the CSRA Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or 1-888-922-4464. WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL offers Ar thritis Aquatics and People With Ar thritis Can Exercise. Call 8235294 for information. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR THE NEW VISITOR CENTER AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, arts and crafts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631.

THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including ballroom dance, aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

Sports SPRING SOCCER LEAGUE REGISTR ATION for boys and girls Jan. 5-12 at Citizens Park II in Aiken. League play begins in February, and par ticipants must be ages 5 and older as of Sept. 1, 2004. Call (803) 642-7761. 2004 EAST COAST SILVER GLOVES BOXING CHAMPIONSHIPS Jan. 8-10, 7 p.m., at May Park Gym. Tickets are $4 for adults and $2 for children. For additional information, call 733-7533. THE AUGUSTA FLASH FAST-PITCH TR AVEL TEAM is looking for players for the 2004 season. Players must be at least 15 years of age as of Jan. 1, 2004. For tryout information, contact Jef f Towe, 868-8485, or Vicki Parker, 854-7711. THE AUGUSTA VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION is looking for new members. For more information, visit www.augustavolleyball.com. AUGUSTA LYNX HOME GAMES Dec. 28 and 31 and Jan. 2-4, 11 and 15-17. For tickets, call 724-4423 or visit www.augustalynx.com. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 79 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustar fc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

Volunteer WEEKDAY VOLUNTEER EDUCATIOR TR AINING 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Jan. 6 at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park. Learn to lead nature hikes for weekday school field trips to the park. Free; lunch provided. RSVP by Jan. 2 to 828-2109. FORTE INTERNATIONAL EXCHANGE ASSOCIATION is in need of local host families for high school international exchange students for the 2004-2005 school year. For more information, contact Tracy Klemens, (678) 358-5890. AARP TAX-AIDE is looking for volunteers to dedicate four or more hours per week from Feb. 1-April 15 assisting senior ta xpayers. Five-day free training course for Ta x-Aide volunteers begins in January. For more information, contact William J. Kozel at 210-3048.

THE EARNED INCOME TAX CREDIT COALITION is looking for volunteers with basic computer skills to prepare ta x returns for individuals with low and limited income, individuals with disabilities, non-English speaking persons and elderly ta xpayers. Volunteers receive free training and instruction materials from the IRS and will serve at VITA sites throughout the community. For more information, contact Sheryl Silva, 826-4480, ex t. 341. AUGUSTA/CSR A HABITAT FOR HUMANITY needs volunteers at ReStore, Walton Way and Tenth Street, to assist with receiving donations of new and used building and home improvement materials and warehousing them for sale to the public. The store is open Thursday-Saturday year-round. If you can commit eight or more hours per month, contact Steve Buck, 364-7637. MENTORS AND VOLUNTEERS needed to provide suppor t for MACH Academy at the May Park Communtiy Center and the Fleming Tennis Center. Education, tutoring and technology sessions held Monday-Thursday, 3-6 p.m. at each location. Tennis instruction and fitness activities held Monday-Thursday, 6-7 p.m. at May Park and Monday-Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Friday, 6-8 p.m. and Saturday, 2-5 p.m. at the Fleming Center. 796-5046. FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED for children and teenagers in Richmond County. For information, contact Luera Lewis, 721-3718. PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK VISITOR CENTER is in need of volunteers to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers must commit to one Saturday or Sunday each month, from either 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. 828-2109. UNITED HOSPICE OF AUGUSTA is in need of volunteers to suppor t terminally ill patients. Scheduling and training times are flexible. Call Donna Harrell at 650-1522 for information. THE ARTISTS’ CONSERVATORY THEATRE OF THE CSR A is looking for volunteer board members, actors and production crew. Call 556-9134 or e-mail act@theatermail.net. SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople star ting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business. Services are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta of fice at 793-9998. SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to per form a variet y of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205. COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGR AM VOLUNTEER TR AINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile cour t system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631. CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation starts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18

years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed or Espy De Leon at 394-0838 or kodfoundation@aol.com. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sor t donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ex t. 208. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings “THE POWER OF NOW” BOOK STUDY GROUP meets Jan. 4 at 9:30 a.m. For more information, call 667-8734.

Weekly

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets every Sunday night, 7:30 p.m., at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Nor th Augusta. For more information, call 278-5156. NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. Call for location. For information, contact Josie, 4145576, or Lionel, 860-0302. GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS meets Thursdays, 7:30 p.m., in the basement of Fairview Presbyterian Church. 1-800-313-0170. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419. SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. at Christ Church Unity, 2301 Central Ave. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured. GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

Divorce Recovery Workshop

Join us New Year’s Eve

Sundays 4pm - 6pm Beginning January 4, 2004 (Sundays)

Full Menu Available or Choose Dinner for 2 $6495

Walton Building, Room 201

Includes Appetizer, Salad, Entree, Dessert, Complimentary Glass of Wine or Champagne.

No pre-registration required Free childcare provided for children up to age 5 (reservation required)

First Baptist Church

3500 Walton Way • Augusta, GA 30909 • 733-2236 www.fbcaugusta.org

CHOW Downtown

Reservations welcome but not required.

1032 Broad St 706-303-CHOW

LUNCH Mon-Fri DINNER Thur-Sat


25

Arts: Visual

M E T R O

What If Art Came Out of a Cigarette Machine?

N

o, I’m serious. What if you could go up to a large, brightly colored box, toss in some spare change, and get a one-of-a-kind original piece of art small enough for you to fit inside your purse or your

book bag? Well, a few years ago, Clark Whittington had the exact same thought. What’s more is, he decided to actually find out. According to his Art-o-mat Web site, it was 1997 when the project first saw the light of day. Appropriately enough, Whittington’s home town is Winston-Salem, N.C. Just thought I’d throw that in there. Whittington was hanging out in his hometown actually exhibiting his own artwork, carrying around a sketchbook with a most interesting idea inside – a vending machine as installation art. That same year, Whittington set up a machine to vend paintings for $1 each as one piece of his 13-piece show at a local café, Penny Universitie. The owner fell in love with the machine and asked that it be allowed to stay indefinitely, with Whittington and a stable of other artists producing work for it. The idea, predictably, grew, as Penny’s owner introduced Whittington to George Doles III, who joined him in producing pieces for their machine, and in forming Artists in Cellophane (A.I.C.), an organization dedicated to encourage consumption of art by any means necessary. OK, by making art readily available to the masses. Now, Art-o-mat is all Whittington, and he has 49 machines, each filled to the brim with tiny pieces of art in galleries, health food stores, even a children’s hospital. The pieces cost $5 each. The nearest Art-o-mat is at Whole Foods Market in Atlanta, at Briarcliff Road and La Vista. Manager Stephen Culhane said the machine had been in his store for about a year, and that it has proven quite a conversation piece. “It drives a lot of interest because it looks like a cigarette

machine,” he said. And of course, people wonder what in the world a cigarette machine is doing in a health food store. But then, he said, they get used to the idea. As for Art-o-mat customers, he added, some people just buy one or two for the novelty, but others become “almost obsessed” with collecting the pieces and always have to add to their collection. I asked how many artists are involved. Right now, he said, 40. “It holds an awful lot,” he said. Whittington said that the Atlanta machine has not done as well as he would have liked, but that he has Atlanta artists in machines across the country and that those artists do well in general. “Some machines sell up to 200 works per month and buyers are usually happy with their purchase. The energy of each machine depends on its community support.” Asked if he puts his own work in the machines, Whittington said, not anymore. “This year has been too busy for me. I basically just create the machines now.” In fact, he said, he has been able to give up his day job as a graphic designer and make Art-o-mat his full-time business. He said his goal is to expand, but not so much that he can’t still be very hands-on: “…to expand at a rate where I can still manage the project, work one-on-one with artists and keep the equity of the project high. A machine in each state may be a nice, realistic goal.” Anyone who wishes to host a machine pays an installation fee, he said, with entry level being $2,500. Artists who wish to have their work dispensed from an Arto-mat machine are required to submit a non-returnable prototype, ready for the vending machine, to Artists in Cellophane at 5000 Rushland Drive, Winston-Salem, N.C., 27104. He recommends mounting the work on wood blocks (no bigger, of course, than the standard cigarette pack), but work may also be placed in boxes of the same size. Dimensions, assemblage guidelines and other bits of information are available on the Web site at www.artomat.org.

Two of Clark Whittington’s Art-o-mat machines.

By Rhonda Jones

Finding the Amazing Art-o-mat Machine • Whole Foods Market – Atlanta, Ga. • Arts Council of Beaufort County – Beaufort, S.C. • William Halsey Gallery – Charleston, S.C. • Eriksson Art Supply – Greenville, S.C. • Earthfare – Asheville, N.C. • SECCA – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Brenner Children’s Hospital – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Urban Artware – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Seed Collective – Winston-Salem, N.C. • The Garage – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Bistro 420 – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Wellspring Whole Foods – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Mary’s of Course Café – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Borders Books and Music – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Dare County Arts Council – Manteo, N.C. • The Dixie Classic Fair – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Forsyth County Public Library – Winston-Salem, N.C. • Salem Fine Arts Center at Salem College – Winston-Salem, N.C. • The Green Hill Center of North Carolina Art – Greensboro, N.C. • Hickory Museum of Art – Hickory, N.C. • Theatre Art Galleries – High Point, N.C. • Jordon Hall/Cary Cultural Affairs Dept. – Cary, N.C. • Asheville Art Museum – Asheville, N.C. • Wellspring Whole Foods – Chapel Hill, N.C. • Rocky Mount Arts Center – Rocky Mount, N.C. • Third Place – Raleigh, N.C. • Main Art Supply – Richmond, Va. • Suffolk Museum – Suffolk, Va. • Diverseworks! – Houston, Texas (2 traveling machines) • River Oaks Square Arts Center – Alexandria, La. • The Museum of Contemporary Art – Los Angeles, Calif. • Chicago Department of Cultural Affairs – Chicago, Ill. • Faces – Northampton, Mass. • CPOP – Detroit, Mich. • Whitney Museum of American Art – New York City • New Museum of Contemporary Art – New York City • Monkey Hill at ABC Carpet & Home – New York City • New York City Community Machine • Rochester Contemporary – Rochester, N.Y. • Cleveland Center for Contemporary Art – Cleveland, Ohio • Beehive Southside – Pittsburgh, Penn. • Whole Foods – Philadelphia, Penn.

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26 M E T R O S P I R I T

Arts: Entertainment

ACP Holds Black-and-White Ball New Year’s Eve

By Rhonda Jones

D E C 2 5 2 0 0 3

T

he powers-that-be at Aiken Community Playhouse have decided to try a little something different to help its patrons celebrate the new year, and to raise a few funds for themselves – invite the patrons up on stage. Not only invite them up on stage, but create a surreal, black-and-white world for them to hang out in during the most surreal night of the year. Aiken Community Playhouse is throwing a black-and-white masked ball and using all the theatre magic at their disposal to make it as much fun as possible. And they’ve never done it before. “It is the first one,” said Mary Ellen Krippner, chairperson for the event. “We had the grand opening at the playhouse in October, so believe me, we weren’t ready New Year’s.” October 2002 was when the Aiken Community Playhouse moved from its old location to downtown Aiken and their brand-new, state-of-the-art performing arts theatre. But now that they have the brandspanking new performing arts center, they’re making the most of it. “(The black-and-white ball) is on the stage at the playhouse… And we’re actually doing it on the stage, now,” she reiterated. That may sound like a small space in which to hold a party, Krippner said, but it’s plenty big enough. “Our stage is 40 by 60, so it’s huge.” She said that, depending on the shows performed there, ACP uses different stage drops to close off the stage, thereby controlling its dimensions. They can make it more shallow, shorter, or altogether tiny, depending on the needs of any particular show. They can even lower the ceiling. So, she added, it may not always be possible to tell just how much room would be available if all those props were taken down. “A couple of weeks ago, when the Augusta Ballet were there for ‘The Nutcracker,’ they were absolutely amazed,” she said. The party is going to be interesting, she said, because the stage has a lot of options as far as crazy party lighting goes. Not to mention the decorations, including sprayed magnolia leaves. “They’re going to be gorgeous,” she said. “The theatre lobby will be very beautifully decorated for Christmas,” she added. “When they enter the main

Terry Lee and the GT’s will perform in Aiken on New Year’s Eve.

“And the lighting is going to be spectacular. We can have spotlighting that goes off and on. … People who don’t know anything about the theatre will be amazed.” — Mary Ellen Krippner, Chairperson of the Ball doors and are guided through the lobby to the door that enters the theatre, they will only enter by one aisle.” She said the auditorium seats will be darkened, with garland leading up the aisle and down to the stage. There will also be three Christmas trees for the enjoyment of the revelers. And when they enter, she said, they will see the whole stage right away. “And the lighting is going to be spectacular. We can have spotlighting that goes off and on. … People who don’t know anything about the theatre will be amazed. “It’s going to be something different for this town.” I asked her just what else was in store for the theatre patrons on the evening of the 31st. She said there was going to be an impressive band from Atlanta called Terry Lee and the GT’s. “There are five men and they’re fantastic,” she said. “Normally, they’re playing at the Omni Hotel on New

Year’s Eve, but we got hold of them first and they said they’d be happy to come to Aiken.” She said that the band members’ wives may be coming as well, with the couples staying the night and joining in the celebration. And here’s the itinerary for the evening. From 8:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m., heavy hors d’oeuvres will be served. Then it will be time for champagne and noisemakers. “Then at midnight, obviously, they’ll do their celebrating and then at 1:15, we’ll have a full breakfast.” It’s going to be catered by Aiken’s Cal Berry, she said. There will be tables for everybody, she said – black-and-white, of course – to make the dining experience much more comfortable. “People do not like to stand with a plate and eat breakfast, or any other food other than hors d’oeuvres,” she said. You can make your reservations for only two, she said, but many people will be bringing friends and

reserving full tables of eight, she said, adding that people tend to enjoy partying with their own friends on New Year’s Eve. And yes, she said, there is a dress code. It is a black-and-white ball after all. Men should wear a tuxedo or a black suit. “We’re not specifically stressing that they have to have a tuxedo; however, many men in Aiken already have tuxedoes, so it’s not a big deal.” Women, she said, should be dressed in black, white or both – and everyone, in order to get through the front door, must be wearing a mask. “Now I have no intention of keeping people in masks all night. That would drive me crazy,” she said. So you can carry your mask all night if you want to, as long as it’s covering your mug when you walk through the door. In addition to all that fun, there is also going to be a raffle. One – no more. “We have one item to raffle,” she said. “I’ve done many raffles and I’m tired of calling off number after number. No one wants to hear it anyway.” But the one item they are giving away is quite a doozy. It’s a night at the Carriage Inn, in Aiken, with a basket of goodies to go along with it. The entire package, she said, totals somewhere around $800.” Dinner for two on the evening the lucky winner decides to use the package, is part of the deal. And, she said, the winner has a full six months to use it. “All the people who are going to be at the ball are local people,” she said. “People don’t travel for New Year’s Eve. We figured it would be just a nice break for somebody,” she said about the raffle prize. She hopes that the black-and-white ball becomes Aiken Community Playhouse’s annual black-and-white ball. But, she said, she supposes that decision won’t be made until next year. So for now, there’s nothing to do but enjoy the ball at hand. Aiken Community Playhouse’s Blackand-White Masked Ball will be held Dec. 31 starting at 8 p.m. Tickets are $100 per person and may be purchased by calling the Aiken Community Playhouse at (803) 648-1438, or you can send an e-mail to info@aikencommunityplayhouse.com. There will also be heavy hors d’oeuvres and an open bar. Breakfast is served at 1:15 a.m.


Coconuts New Year’s Eve Celebration -

Champagne Toast at Midnight Balloon drop of cash & prizes 4 for 1 New Year’s Eve shooter special Home of the Almost Famous Cruzan Voodoo Juice buckets - DJ Tim spinning August’s hottest dance

It’ Not Too Late! Limited Space Available • Small Classes for Individual Attention • Ages 3-Adult • Combination Ballet, Tap & Gymnastics Classes for Younger Students • Graded classes in Classical Ballet • Beginner to Advanced Tap, Jazz, Pointe and Theatre Dance

* Every Friday Night *

Miss Coconuts Bikini Contest Call about the FREE Coconuts limo Paige Mims Kortick & Kerry Bruker

40 Years Combined Experience with Margie Bruker

Surrey Center • 364-0786 • coconutsofaugusta.com

3497 Wheeler Road • West Augusta • 2 Blocks from Target • 733-0115

3 Parties to Choose From: 5 Course Ultimate New Years Eve Dinner Bar & Grill - The Steakhouse Doors open at 8:00 Heavy Hors D’Ourves & Music By DJ Complimentary Midnight Toast & Party Favors 2003 Ballroom Bash Doors Open at 8:00 New Years Eve International Dinner Display Live Music by Sandy “B” and the Allstars Complimentary Midnight Toast & Party Favors

R O O M S S TA RT AT $ 7 9 C A L L F O R I N F O & R E S E RVAT I O N S

2110 Walton Way | Augusta, Georgia 30904 706-737-8888| 800-476-6888 | www.partridgeinn.com

Having

problems in your

relationship? You are not alone.

27 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 2 5 2 0 0 3


M E T R O S P I R I T D E C

Cinema

“In America”

Movie Listings

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Bad Santa (R) — For very jaded kids and adults already sick of the holiday season but needing a cup of bile nog. If that is you, there is amusing alienation from Billy Bob Thornton as an alcoholic thief and cranky depar tment store Santa, Tony Cox as his rancid "elf" and Bernie Mac, Cloris Leachman and the late John Rit ter, directed with zip plot but a jingle of crass flippancy by Terry "Crumb" Zwigof f. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 The Cat in the Hat (PG) — This bulldozing movie has about as much to do with Dr. Seuss’ wit ty and impressively drawn kids' books as Adam Sandler has with Molière. It's a brash defilement of Geisel's most famous work, yet so compulsively cheery that people might try to ignore the obvious. Mike Myers plays the Cat in a big hat and costume of fake fur that stifles his amusing features. He's supposed to be the spirit of wild, impish fun, helping lif t the depressed scamp Conrad (pudgy, likable Spencer Breslin) and his control-freak sister, Sally (Dakota Fanning), a dwar fish total woman who star ts of f each day by making a list. Director Bo Welch's technique is to just keep hurling (both senses of the word apply). His tireless approach is astoundingly tiresome. Cast: Mike Myers, Dakota Fanning, Alec Baldwin, Spencer Breslin, Kelly Preston. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) — Tom Baker, head of a household numbering 14, is of fered a job coaching football at Nor thwestern University. The move to Chicago proves to be a big change for Baker and his wife, as well as their 12 children ranging in age from preschool-age to 22 years old. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Bonnie Hunt, Hilary Duf f, Missy Elliot, Piper Perabo, Alyson Stoner. Cold Mountain (R) — As the Civil War comes to an end, a wounded soldier, whom doctors have told is on his deathbed, begins a long walk to his Nor th Carolina home on Cold Mountain, where his beloved is waiting. Along the way, he meets a cast of strange characters. Cast: Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger, Jena Malone, Taryn Manning, Natalie Por tman, Giovanni Ribisi.

Elf (PG) — Years ago, a human boy was adopted

by one of Santa’s elves af ter sneaking a ride back to the Nor th Pole in Santa’s bag of presents. Now he’s fully grown, his height and clumsy nature impeding his duties in the workshop. He decides it’s time to travel to the human world and search for his family. Taking a job as a depar tment store Elf, he inspires humans to believe in Santa Claus. Cast: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Zooey Deschanel, Bob Newhar t, Mary Steenburgen. The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) — Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Darrin, a junior adver tising exec with secrets. He's nearly broke and he lied on his resume to get his job. Then the worst-case scenario happens: His deception is discovered af ter he helps to land a major account for the company. Then he learns that his Aunt Sally has passed away and he's expected to at tend her funeral as her last surviving relative. Darrin learns that he'll gain a huge inheritance if he whips the church choir into shape in time for a gospel contest. This is where "The Fighting Temptations" falls into the pit of stupidity. What saves the movie from being a total stinker is the music. As for Gooding, he seems to have confused charm and enthusiasm for acting. Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr., Beyonce Knowles, Mike Epps, Melba Moore, Angie Stone, The O'Jays, Montell Jordan and Rue McClanahan. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (McCormick) ★★ Freaky Friday (PG) — It’s the updated version of the ‘70s film, starring Jamie Lee Cur tis as a frazzled mom and Lindsay Lohan as her rebellious teen-age daughter. The two are constantly arguing and both wish they could be someone else. When their wish comes true and the two end up switching bodies, they have to find a way back to their normal selves – before Mom walks down the aisle again. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Christina Vidal. The Haunted Mansion (PG) — Another movie based on a ride at Disneyland, again featuring cheesy, story-altering references to the rides, as well as plots about ghosts and curses. Eddie Murphy is a workaholic real estate agent and a smooth-talking sleazebag. A promising real-estate deal turns out to be more than he

“Cheaper by the Dozen”

Fox Searchlight Pictures

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bargains for, and his eagerness to scope out a house on the way to a family vacation leaves his entire family stranded at a creepy, cobweb-ridden Louisiana mansion with a curse. The result is a movie that, while consistently amusing, plays like a hackneyed ef for t to stretch a few minutes of ride into a coherent, hour-anda-half story. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Fu) ★★ Honey (PG-13) — Like having the fluids drained out of your system and replaced by a sugar-loaded, mixed-drink concoction of a color not found in nature. Honey Daniels (Jessica Alba) bar tends, dances and teaches hip-hop dance at a youth center. Discovered, she makes a fast splash as a music-video dancer and choreographer. There are jolts of energy from occasional moments of hip-hop frenzy, but the editing is so rapid-fire that what appears on the screen looks more like a video game than dance. Will Honey remember her old pals in the 'hood? Why, yes. First "Radio," now this; uplif t has never seemed so enervating. Running time: 1 hr., 28 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 In America (PG-13) — A young Irish family immigrates to America and set tles in a tenement in New York City. For the parents, life in America is a constant struggle, but their two daughters see the new country as a magical place. A chance encounter with a mysterious neighbor may change everyone’s outlook. Cast: Paddy Considine, Samantha Mor ton, Djimon Hounsou, Sarah Bolger, Emma Bolger. The Last Samurai (R) — Tom Cruise stars as Nathan Algren, a heroic Civil War veteran and then embit tered cavalry man, reduced to heavy drinking and shilling for a gun company. Algren goes to Japan, paid to train the new imperial army in modern ways and weapons. But he finds himself drawn to the insurgent cause and almost idyllic life in the hills of samurai leader Katsumoto (Watanabe), who fights for the old ways and hopes to win over the adolescent emperor from greedy modernists. Having come to teach, Algren stays to learn. He is captured af ter impressing Katsumoto with his fighting spirit; the "barbarian" has a tiger within. "The Last Samurai" bides its time and has a predictable plot, but gives pleasure of a sustained kind. Cast: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Tony Goldwyn, Timothy Spall, Koyuki. Running time: 2 hrs., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (PG) —

20th Century Fox

Director Joe Dante's hip game plan is a double-decker: one deck of enter tainment for kids (and teens who don't scof f at kids' movies), another for the grown, if not greatly more adult, viewers. Brendan Frasier stars with Bugs Bunny, Daf fy Duck and the stable of Warner Bros. car toon characters. Joining Frasier are Timothy Dalton, Joan Cusack, Jenna Elfman and Locklear and Steve Mar tin as the mastermind villian.

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot) ★★★

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) — lasts 200 minutes, and some of

those are long minutes. The last 20 can feel like an hour, for clearly creator Peter Jackson didn't wish to let his saga go. Bernard Hill, Viggo Mor tensen and Orlando Bloom are impressive fighters, and Cate Blanchet t makes a gorgeous Galadriel. This is posing, not acting. Sir Ian McKellen acts very well as noble Gandalf, but lines about hear t, courage and fate make him Lord For tune Cookie. "Lord" is all epic, all the time. Jackson loves bat tles, which means hurling dense masses of mostly computerized fighters at one another. If the clima x bat tle this time is more overpowering than the Helm's Deep boggler in "The Two Towers," does it truly deepen the story? Maybe it is just more spectacle, as clima xes are stacked high and then the epic winds down with Elijah Wood as Frodo (now mildly matured) exiting sweetly, his destiny done. Cast: Ian McKellen, Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchet t, Viggo Mor tensen, Ian Holm, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin. Running time: 3 hrs., 20 mins. ★★ Love Actually (R) — opens and closes with people hugging and kissing at London's Heathrow Airpor t. In between, you might yearn to fly away. Top confet ti is the prime minister: Hugh Grant with his sweetly sly grace, but so impishly weightless he seems fit to lead a croquet match, not a nation. Meanwhile, Colin Fir th is recovering from his wife's infidelity by slowly cour ting a Por tuguese housekeeper (Lucia Moniz); sulky Alan Rickman fondles the idea of cheating on his dear, sane wife (Emma Thompson); Liam Neeson, recovering from his wife's death, encourages the puppy love of his kid (Tom Sangster). This giggle-fest is a spree of gag situations, maudlin moments and aggressive pop tunes. If you like Christmas goose stuf fed with sequins, don't forget the chutney Spam with a warm side of chips. Cast: Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, Emma Thompson, Colin Fir th, Laura Linney, Keira Knightley, Rowan Atkinson, Alan Rickman. Running time: 2 hrs., 8 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) — “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” is a remake of the 1987 teen comedy “Can’t Buy Me Love.” An unpopular geek blackmails a cheerleader into posing as his girlfriend in an at tempt to improve his reputation. Cast: Nick Cannon, Christina Milian, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Kal Penn, Steve Harvey, Kenan Thompson.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (PG-13) — The best film yet about men

0— Not worthy.

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“Peter Pan”

“Mona Lisa Smile”

M E T R O S P I R I T D E C

Universal Pictures

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Columbia Picutrres

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continued from page 28 fighting at sea under sail. Two of Patrick O'Brian's books have been beautifully transposed into a cogent and moving tale of the Napoleonic Wars. Capt. Aubrey (Russell Crowe) and his friend Dr. Maturin (Paul Bet tany) bond tightly despite amusing frictions and lead through storm and shot a stout crew against a French ship larger and bet ter built. It all fits and works like good seamanship, under Peter Weir's direction, manly without fakery. Running time: 2 hr., 19 min. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) — Julia Rober ts has no Mona Lisa smile — enigmatic coyness isn't in her range — but her big, horsey grin flashes its horse sense and beaming charm through much of "Mona Lisa Smile," and viewers can smile in return. She plays Katherine Watson, a "Bohemian from California" who, in 1953, comes to Wellesley College to teach ar t history. Katherine is, of course, a Pacific breeze, a progressive, star tled to find that her class has mastered the curriculum tex t before her arrival. She quickly teaches the "girls" to stop being rote drones and confront a grand new Jackson Pollock, the holy grail of Ike Era modernism. The movie has pinches of ar t history, but takes more time with Katherine's love life. Cast: Julia Rober ts, Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Constance Baker, Ginnifer Goodwin, Dominic West, Marcia Gay Harden. Running time: 1 hr., 57 mins. ★★1/2 Out of Time (PG-13) — John Billingsley stars as Chae, a drunken wiseguy and pathologist who trades corkers with Police Chief Mat t Whitlock (Denzel Washington), who sloshes through his latest case. The chief is suddenly the big suspect in a double murder caused by arson, af ter his incriminating, illicit af fair with past girlfriend Anne (Sanaa Lathan). Whitlock hustles through a hot day covering up the clues that point to him, while the main detective sleuthing his trail is his vampy, almost ex-wife, Alex (Eva Mendes). Dynamic, but obsessively remote from reality, "Out of Time" is like a drive-in movie for a car junkyard. Cast: Denzel Washington, Sanaa Lathan, Dean Cain, Eva Mendes. Running time: 1 hr., 54 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Paycheck (PG-13) — An electrical engineer, Jennings (Ben Af fleck), has been hard at work on a top-secret project for two years. He wakes up one day

to find that his employer has erased the par ts of his memory concerning the work he’s been doing on the project. Jennings at tempts to collect his paycheck, but instead of cash, he’s apparently agreed to receive a package of meaningless objects. Government of ficials are also af ter him for a crime he has no recollection of commit ting. Cast: Ben Af fleck, Uma Thurman, Aaron Eckhar t, Colm Feore, Paul Giamat ti. Peter Pan (PG) — A live-action take of the children’s classic about a boy who won’t grow up and his adventures in Neverland with three British children. The adventure culminates in a bat tle with Captain Hook and his pirates. Cast: Jeremy Sumpter, Jason Issacs, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Lynn Redgrave, Ludivine Sagnier.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13) — The movie will be a

shocker for anyone expecting watery gruel ex tracted from a Disneyland-ride base. This "Pirates of the Caribbean" is an original, with clever plot ting, some rapierlike dialogue and a scurvy crew of first-rate second bananas. When the Black Pearl, the invincible pirate ship commanded by the dread Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) storms Por t Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the governor's beautiful daughter, what can her secret admirer, the lowly blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), do but go af ter her? He's forced to team up with the immensely unreliable Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). The movie lies becalmed when Depp/Sparrow is absent; when he's on screen, it's a rousing good time. Since he's on screen a good par t of the time, that makes "Pirates of the Caribbean" a rousing good movie. Arrrrr! Cast: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Pryce. Running time: 2 hrs., 14 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Radio (PG) — Ed Harris is Harold Jones, the coach of the high school football team in a small South Carolina town. Coach Jones takes pity on James (Cuba Gooding Jr.), a mentally handicapped young man who mutely pushes his shopping car t past the practice field every day, and makes him a kind of team, then school, mascot. Nicknamed Radio, he melts the hear t of almost everyone he encounters. A few antagonists enter and exit periodically. The

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schmaltz-intolerant would be wise simply to Fed-Ex seven bucks and a vial of tears directly to Columbia Pictures. Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr. Ed Harris, Brent Sex ton, Riley Smith. Running time: 1 hr., 46 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) — The third film in the “Scary Movie” series once again spoofs a series of recent horror hits, fantasy epic films and other pop culture sensations, including “8 Mile,” “The Matrix,” “The Ring,” “The Others” and “Signs.” Cast: David Zucker, Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen, Regina Hall, Denise Richards. The School of Rock (PG-13) — Jack Black, having learned a few things about rocking from singing and playing guitar in his band, Tenacious D, is a wannabe rock star named Dewey Finn who stumbles into a substitute teaching job. In between his outbursts of hair-metal singing and energetic dancing, he teaches his class of private school fif th graders the importance of self-confidence and "sticking it to the man," while he, in turn, learns what it means to be a team player. At times, the film comes close to comedic mediocrity but, like its characters, is saved by rock 'n' roll. Cast: Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White, Sarah Silverman. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Fu) ★★★ Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) — Jack Nicholson plays with his cruising wolf image and his age (66), spor ting with them as compulsive single Harry Langer. Harry's latest find for a fling is svelte Marin (Amanda Peet), an auctioneer who treats him like a lusty antique. They go to her divorced parents' beach house. But when he meets mother Erica (Keaton), a playwright, the awkward moments quiver. Harry has a sudden hear t crisis. He ends up stuck for a night with Erica. What happens is silly, knowing, wit ty, touching and abet ted def tly by a terrific score. When someone says of Erica's new play, "It's sweet, it's smar t, it's funny," that serves as a review of the movie. Critics should be pleased to echo it. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves, Frances McDormand, Amanda Peet. Running time: 1 hr., 47 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Stuck on You (PG-13) — The movie is like a Pez machine dispensing pellets of gags about being "con-

joined twins," as they fear and hate the term Siamese twins: "We're not Siamese!" No, they're the dif ferentlooking, but joined Bob (Mat t Damon), the quiet one, and Walt (Greg Kinnear), the "on" one. United by gut flab and a shared liver, they work in a burger joint. But Walt has giddy acting aspirations. So they go to Hollywood. Kinnear has rumpled lightness as this show guy who just happens to have a 160-pound brother to haul around like a talking tumor, while Damon sulks and frets, perhaps pondering why his other half isn't Ben Af fleck. None of this is awful — it has a brisk spirit of whimsy — but it all runs in a very narrow groove. Cast: Mat t Damon, Greg Kinnear, Eva Mendes, Cher, Wen Yann Shih, Seymour Cassel, Meryl Streep. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Under the Tuscan Sun (PG-13) — is based on Frances Mayes' book, a hit memoir of the Bay Area professor's seasonal life in Tuscany, refurbishing an old villa. Diane Lane plays Frances, always lovely and loveable even when in the grim throes of divorce. She makes a new life in Italy, empowered for the adventure by a lesbian friend (Sandra Oh) in San Francisco. In the book, Frances deepens gradually as the old house is remade, and the estate, food, wine and people saturate her spirit. But it's a dif ficult book to film. "Under the Tuscan Sun" suf fers the sunburn of radioactive pret tiness. This is la dolce vapid. Cast: Diane Lane, Sandra Oh, Raoul Bova, Lindsay Duncan, Vincent Riot ta. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Underworld (R) — For centuries, a bat tle has been raging between vampires, sophisticated city dwellers, and Lycans, werewolf street thugs. “Underworld” is a Gothic twist on “Romeo and Juliet,” chronicling the pit falls of young love between a vampire (Kate Beckinsale) and a Lycan (Scot t Speedman). Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Danny McBride, Scot t Speedman, Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen. —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

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Cinema: Close-Up

New Year’s Eve Package

Ben Affleck Discusses “Paycheck” and Singing in the Shower By Joey Berlin

Q: At what point in your life did you start to believe that happiness is not always about the money? A: In the last couple of years, maybe in the wake of “Good Will Hunting,” I was figuring out that there were things that I wasn’t happy with. It’s an ongoing process. It’s a cliche that money doesn’t make happiness, but I think it’s hard to believe until you get it, and then there’s disillusionment. I think it’s the quality of the life you live. I used to think that happiness was the way things happen to me, how people treated me, what befell me and what didn’t. Now I think it’s how I treat other people, the things I do. I can be kind; I can be pleasant; I can be empathetic; I can be fair and honest. Those are choices I can make, and I found that it actually makes my life better. I think in essence, it’s family and love. Q: With a world-famous singer in the house, do you dare sing in the shower? A: I do because I embrace my bad singing. I’ll sing, “Lahhh!” And she’ll say, “Oh Lord, save me.” That’s me; that’s who I am. I’ve never been afraid. I can’t sing. I mean, I literally can’t sing on tune. She’ll say, “That was good harmony.” I’m thinking, ‘Well, what does that mean? I was trying to sing on key.’ I do sometimes accidentally harmonize. It’s embarrassing, but I embrace it. Q: Looking back, how do you feel about the year 2003 from a professional standpoint? A: Well, from a professional standpoint, I feel like I’m balanced. I had “Daredevil,” which worked and was great. I had “Gigli,” which was an “Ishtar” for this generation. That’s how we should’ve sold it. “It’s a modern day ‘Showgirls.’ From the people who brought you ‘Glitter’ comes a film that no one will see.” So that was a big bomberooni. Then I have this movie, “Paycheck,” which I really like and I really feel confident about. I think it works and I’m happy with it. And I’ve got “Jersey Girl” coming up, which is probably my favorite film I’ve ever done. It’s an exquisite, beautiful movie. It’s really wonderful, and I’m really proud of Kevin for making it. And then I’ve got a comedy next Christmas. So I feel, career-wise, it’s pretty good.

M E T R O S P I R I T

INCLUDES: A Bottle of Champagne STARTER: • Lobster Bisque CHOICE OF HORS D’OEUVRES: • Buckwheat Blinis - with smoked salmon, caviar and sour cream • Cajun Crab Cakes - Louisiana style cakes served with jalapeño corn relish • Stuffed Mushrooms - Mushrooms with lump crabmeat, topped with white cheddar • Carpaccio Fume - Smoked N.Y. Strip served very rare with cracked pepper, chopped onion, extra virgin olive oil, remoulade sauce and toasted French bread • Oyster Rockefeller - Fresh oysters with creamed spinach and parmesan cheese, baked in their shells • Baked Brie - Mini wheel, oven-softened and served with roast garlic, fresh fruit and French bread toast

I

f there is one man in Hollywood who needs to redeem himself pronto, it is Ben Affleck, but he is not worried. The 31-year-old Academy Award winner has had a roller-coaster year as half of the two-headed media monster known as “Bennifer.” The on-again/off-again fiance of Jennifer Lopez, Affleck has attracted extraordinary and sometimes unwelcome attention. The duo co-starred in “Gigli,” a box-office disaster that met with a torrent of scorn. With the Christmas release of “Paycheck,” Affleck gets another chance to remind movie fans why he is an enormously likable and bankable star. A techno-thriller directed by action specialist John Woo, “Paycheck” is the tale of a computer genius who agrees to complete a top-secret, two-year task, then have his memory of those two years wiped clean. But the titular multimillion dollar “paycheck” never arrives. Instead, he is paid with a simple bag of trinkets that provide clues to the last 24 months. Affleck, who once tried to start a business selling home-built computers and describes himself as a “super-tech geekazoid,” may wish that his real-life memory of the past several months could be erased. But he is definitely looking forward to 2004 and the release of his next film with Lopez, “Jersey Girl,” directed by his longtime pal, Kevin Smith. Q: How would you describe your character in “Paycheck”? A: He’s a computer reverse engineer, which is a computer engineer with few scruples. He basically rips off other people’s ideas for different companies, copies them and doesn’t have much of a life. In the future, these companies, in order to maintain the proprietary nature of technology, have developed a way to erase the memory of the person who’s worked on it. So you don’t take corporate secrets with you in your mind. I’m sure technology companies would do that if they could. Q: Were you always aware that your buddy, Matt Damon, recommended you for this role? A: I was most assuredly aware. In fact, John really dug Matt’s amnesia thriller, “The Bourne Identity,” and naturally he wanted Matty for this thing. Matt was pleased and honored, of course, to talk to John Woo. But he read the script and said to him, “You know, I can’t just be ‘amnesia movie guy,’ or that’s all I’ll do.” But Matt called me right after his meeting with John and said, “You’ve got to get on this script, man! This is really, really good.” As luck would have it for me, when John flew back from the meeting in New York, on the plane to L.A. they were showing “Changing Lanes.” When he got here, I got the part. It was great. It was serendipitous for me. I like to think it was “Changing Lanes” that did it and not Matt.

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CHOICE OF SALAD: • Garden Salad • Endive Salad CHOICE OF ENTREES: • Venison Noisette - pan-seared with red wine shiitake sauce • Filet Mignon - Grilled over mesquite charcoal, served with apple and herb infused red wine sauce • Cold Water Lobster Tails • Grilled Double Lamb Chop - Mushroom, mint, madeira sauce • Grilled Chilean Sea Bass - With Cognac peppercorn sauce • Tournedos Jackson Square - Two four-ounce medallions of beef tenderloin, grilled then topped with shrimp, scallops, asparagus and Bearnaise sauce • Singing Shrimp - New Orleans style jumbo shrimp, sautéed in butter with garlic, mushrooms, green onions and white wine served over rice • Coquilles St. Jacques - Pan-seared with elephant garlic vinegarette served over wilted lettuce CHOICE OF DESSERTS: • Profitoroles au Chocolate • Creme Brulée • Tarte Talin • Mousse au Chocolate with Kahlua and Espresso • Bananas Foster • Strawberry Crepes LIVE ENTERTAINMENT Kings of Swing Jazz and Party Music 9pm-1am

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32 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 2 5 2 0 0 3

MOVIE CLOCK REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 12/26 - 1/1 Cold Mountain (R) 10:30, 11:00, 3:00, 3:30, 6:45, 7:25, 10:05, 10:40 In America (PG-13) 1:00, 3:20, 5:45, 8:10, 10:40 Paycheck (PG-13) 10:35, 11:05, 1:20, 1:50, 4:05, 4:45, 7:20, 7:50, 10:10, 10:35 Peter Pan (PG) Fri-Sat: 10:00, 11:40, 1:00, 2:20, 3:50, 5:20, 6:50, 9:30, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 10:00, 11:40, 1:00, 2:20, 3:50, 5:20, 6:50, 9:30 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) 11:30, 2:15, 4:55, 7:45, 8:05, 10:30, 10:45 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) Fri-Sat: 10:05, 10:35, 12:30, 1:30, 2:55, 4:30, 5:20, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:20, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 10:05, 10:35, 12:30, 1:30, 2:55, 4:30, 5:20, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:20 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) Fri-Sat: 10:20, 10:50, 11:50, 2:40, 3:10, 4:10, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30, 11:20; Sun-Thur: 10:20, 10:50, 11:50, 2:40, 3:10, 4:10, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 8:30 Stuck on You (PG-13) 4:40, 10:50 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) 12:40, 3:45, 7:10, 9:55 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) 12:00, 2:30, 5:10, 7:55, 10:20 The Last Samurai (R) 11:55, 3:30, 7:05, 10:15 Honey (PG-13) 8:15, 10:35 Haunted Mansion (PG) 10:35, 1:00, 3:20, 5:40 Bad Santa (R) Fri-Sat: 2:35, 5:05, 7:45, 10:00, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 2:35, 5:05, 7:45, 10:00 The Cat in the Hat (PG) 12:10 Master and Commander (PG-13) 1:15, 7:40 Elf (PG) 10:00, 12:30, 2:55, 5:15 EVANS 14 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/26 - 1/1 Cold Mountain (R) 1:50, 5:40, 9:00 Peter Pan (PG) 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:45 Paycheck (PG-13) 1:15, 3:50, 7:20, 10:00 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) 12:50, 4:00, 6:40, 9:20 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) 12:00, 1:00, 2:20, 3:20, 4:40, 5:50, 7:00, 8:15, 9:25 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG-13) 11:30, 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, 7:30, 8:30, 9:30

Stuck on You (PG-13) 6:30, 9:10 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) 1:20, 4:20, 6:50, 9:40 The Last Samurai (R) 2:00, 5:20, 8:45 The Haunted Mansion (PG) 12:20, 3:10 Bad Santa (R) 7:50, 9:55 The Cat in the Hat (PG) 1:10, 3:00, 5:10 Elf (PG) 12:40, 2:50, 5:00, 7:40, 9:50

Cinema: Review

“Cold Mountain” Both Inspired and Disappointing By Rachel Deahl

MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/26 - 1/1 Cheaper by the Dozen (PG) 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45 Paycheck (PG-13) 1:20, 4:20, 7:00, 9:25 Peter Pan (PG) 1:45, 4:45, 7:15, 9:35 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (PG13) 12:00, 4:00, 8:00 Mona Lisa Smile (PG-13) 1:00, 3:45, 6:55, 9:30 Something’s Gotta Give (PG-13) 12:30, 4:15, 7:05, 9:35 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (PG-13) 7:10, 9:20 The Last Samurai (R) 12:15, 3:50 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 12/26 - 1/1 Underworld (R) 2:10, 4:35, 7:05, 9:40 Under the Tuscan Sun (PG-13) 2:20, 4:35, 7:25, 9:40 Scary Movie 3 (PG-13) 2:35, 4:45, 7:10, 9:10 Love Actually (R) 2:15, 4:55, 7:35 Looney Tunes (PG) 2:30, 4:40, 7:30, 9:25 School of Rock (PG-13) 1:55, 4:25, 7:20, 9:30 Radio (PG) 1:55, 4:50, 7:15, 9:45 Brother Bear (G) Fri-Wed: 2:45, 5:05, 7:40, 9:50; Thur: 2:45, 5:10, 7:45, 9:50 Out of Time (PG-13) Fri-Wed: 2:15, 4:30, 7:15, 9:20; Thur: 2:25, 4:30, 7:15, 9:20 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri-Wed: 2:40, 5:00, 7:35, 9:45; Thur: 2:40, 5:05, 7:40, 9:55 The Fighting Temptations (PG-13) 2:05, 4:30, 7:00, 9:35 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) Fri-Wed: 2:00, 4:55, 7:45; Thur: 2:00, 5:00, 7:50

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

BITE Champagne, Champagne Everywhere!

W

hen I heard Nicole Kidman’s voice ushering in the opening lines of Anthony Minghella’s long-awaited Civil War epic, adapted from Charles Frazier’s brilliant and beautiful novel, I winced a bit at her shaky Southern accent. Minghella, who is known for his ability to turn popular novels into great films (among them “The Talented Mr. Ripley” and “The English Patient”), raised a few eyebrows and concerns by casting a British actor (Jude Law) and an Australian one (Kidman) to play his Southern star-crossed lovers. And, while Law does a worthy job playing Inman, the brow-beaten Confederate soldier trying to make his way home to his beloved, Kidman struggles with the local twang a bit more. But, in the end, “Cold Mountain” is not hurt by poor casting. Unlike Minghella’s other Oscar-winning tale of love in wartime, “The English Patient,” “Cold Mountain” manages to bring only some of the best aspects of Frazier’s novel to the screen. Frazier’s novel, a reimagined version of “The Odyssey” in which a Southern soldier named Inman flees the fighting to walk home to the woman he left behind in his small North Carolina town, ingeniously melded elements of that epic tale with a heartbreaking love story. While Minghella’s film does well with the rich love story, Inman’s journey seems more procedural than interesting. He survives, most notably, a run-in with the sirens — here a gaggle of oversexed Southern women who tempt their men with the aid of some moonshine — and a stay with Calypso, a character named Sarah (Natalie Portman), who’s trying to feed her infant son after her husband died in the war. Kidman, who is in some ways an ideal choice

to pay the prissy Ada, a proper young woman who’s completely ill equipped to run her father’s farm after his untimely death, does ultimately settle into her role though she never quite claims it. Jude Law is surprisingly good as the quiet and noble Inman but the real gem of a performance comes from Renee Zellweger who has a supporting role as the spunky and defiant Ruby. A drifter who shows up on Ada’s door to help her work the land in exchange for an equal stake in its ownership, Zellweger is a welcome comedic spitfire. For fans of the novel, “Cold Mountain” proves to be both inspired and disappointing. To his credit, Minghella does a fine job depicting a love story in which the central characters are essentially apart for most of the film. Most surprisingly, Minghella displays a never-before-seen aptitude for filming battle scenes. In the opening scene of the film the director depicts a harrowing, and lesser known Civil War battle in which Union soldiers filled a huge stretch of land under Confederate barracks with dynamite and then launched the men either into the earth or a big pit in which a bloody battle ensued. Reminiscent of the stomach-churning realism of Spielberg’s D-Day scenes in “Saving Private Ryan” and Peter Jackson’s gruesome clashes in “Lord of the Rings,” Minghella’s strong opening proves he’s just as adept at handling men with guns as he is shooting men in love. Although the film’s strong opening doesn’t hold up, “Cold Mountain” is undeniably beautiful in spots and it does achieve, if only intermittently, the aching feelings of love and loss, for both country and countrymen, that Frazier so unforgettably depicted.


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Music Concert for a Cause

35 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C

By Amy Fennell Christian

2 5

Hellblinki Sextet

A

s any concert fan can tell you, the setting up and breaking down of equipment is the worst part of any live show. Breaks can seem interminable. Now, instead of two or three bands, think 12. That’s right, 12. That was the monumental logistical feat facing organizers of the 12 Bands of Christmas concert Sunday night at the Imperial Theatre. Happily, though, the third annual event, benefiting the MCG Children’s Medical Center, hummed along at a brisk pace, staying firmly on the performance schedule of 20 minutes per band with 10 minutes break in between. In fact, the concert was so well-planned that it stayed 510 minutes ahead of schedule much of the evening. That in itself, along with the fact that the proceeds went to a worthy cause, would be reason enough to write a glowing review. It doesn’t, however, take into account the music which, despite vastly different styles, flowed smoothly from one band to the next and was spoiled by surprisingly few technical problems. The most notable gaff came during Shaun Piazza’s set when, having problems with his amped acoustic guitar, was handed another on which he couldn’t adjust the volume enough to suit the crowd, and it had to be mic’d during the middle of a song. I, for one, liked the balance better after the flub, when I could better hear Piazza’s voice — a lovely one, considering it came from a burly guy in a trucker hat — and the plaintive wails from the accompanying violin. The entire set had a beautiful, melancholy feel to it, and Piazza’s unique interpretation of Elvis’ “Blue Christmas” was one of the highlights of the evening. The song was so incredibly different that I had to look up the lyrics on the net the next day to make sure it was the same one. It is. Piazza’s set was just one highlight in a

night full of them. Lives of Reily, an Aiken band fronted by a husband/wife team Gavin and Brooke Reily, sang a moving original song from the “12 Bands” CD called “Christmas in Harmony” about the effects of war on one family’s holidays. Also exciting were Turtleneck’s speed-metal, not-so-silent version of “Silent Night,” Hellblinki Sextet’s rendition of “Nuttin’ for Christmas” and Impulse Ride’s original “Come Back for Christmas.” In fact, those bands had some of the best sets of the night. The good-natured members of Turtleneck got the normally polite-to-a-fault crowd up and moving with songs like “Down My Back,” “Pachulie” and “Her Mullet.” Hellblinki, on the other hand, provided the rapt audience with a glimpse of what would happen if David Lynch took Tom Waits, made him up, put a top hat on him, paired him with an opera singer and formed a cabaret act. And Impulse Ride, including concert organizer and CD producer Ruskin Yeargain, was clearly one of the crowd’s favorites. During this benefit for children, it was especially fitting that the crowd consisted of everyone from babies to grandparents and that many of the performers, like Livingroom Legends drummer, Soul Bar owner and 12 Bands organizer Coco Rubio, brought their own children. Organizer Joe Stevenson’s son, Louis, for instance, spent the whole set on stage playing harmonica with his dad’s band. When introducing his cohorts, Stevenson called Louis “My favorite bandmate of all time.” Truth be told, there was hardly a lapse in the quality of the performances and the packed house seemed to enjoy every minute of the evening, which often seemed more like a big family party than a concert. And when organizers presented a $10,000 check to MCG … well, that was just icing on the cake.

Pat Blanchard

Turtleneck

The Shaun Piaz za

Band

2 0 0 3


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12 Bands of Christmas Concert

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John Guanlao and Tim Baxley

Jesse Newkirk, Jen Jacob, Mary Margaret Williams and Haven Chavous

Carson Pursley, Peter Newlin, Keaton Sanders, Stephen Wilson and Katelyn Gibbs

Kyra Cumpton, Will McCranie and Laura Pope

Jeff Harris and Paige Patton

“The 12 Bands of Christmas” concert and CD raised $10,000 for the Medical College of Georgia Children’s Medical Center.

All photos by Michael E. Johnson


M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 2 5 2 0 0 3

MUSIC MINIS Song Lyrics Garner Band Prison Time The lead singer of the German rock band Landser (which means “soldier”) has been sentenced to three years and four months in prison. Two other band members were given suspended sentences of 21 and 22 months. The trial itself lasted six months. The court ruled that the band’s lyrics incited racial hatred and made the group a criminal organization. This is the first time a band has been prosecuted under Germany’s anti-Nazi laws. Nyah-nyah to the Recording Industry It was ruled Friday, Dec. 19, that your internet service provider cannot be forced to rat on you, no matter how many freakin’ files you share. But of course the recording industry is still commencing with their lawsuits, going after anyone they suspect of infringing on copyrights. But, alas! They’re going to have to file “John Doe” lawsuits based on the e-mail addresses of suspected file-sharers.

Magazine Allowed To Publish Eminem Excerpt The Jan. 12 issue of “The Source” rap magazine will contain 20-second CDs of the controversial recording made by Eminem which insulted black girls. The rapper has admitted to spawning the recording, but says that it is something he did when he was young and stupid. Whoo-hoo. Not Just Assault, but Aggravated Assault John Anthony Gillis, who goes by the name Jack White for his role in the duo The White Stripes, a band he has made with a woman to whom he alternately refers as his sister and his ex-wife, has been officially charged with assault for beating the crap out of Jason Stollsteimer, lead singer of the Von Bondies. He could get up to a year in prison if convicted.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

NEW YEAR’S EVE AT THE BLIND PIG FEATURING

SHAMELESS SHAMELESS DAVE DAVE && THE THE MIRACLE MIRACLE WHIPS WHIPS

MUSIC BY TURNER

T

he second annual “12 Bands of Christmas” was another great success last weekend at the Imperial. The spirit of the holidays was felt throughout the theater as local musicians came together to help a great hometown cause. Organizers JOE STEVENSON, RUSKIN YEARGAIN and COCO RUBIO announced that over $10,000 was raised for MCG’s Children’s Medical Center through ticket and CD sales and generous corporate sponsors. Stevenson, who also performed at the show, has even larger plans for next year’s event. “I would like to see this show evolve into the biggest local fundraiser for MCG’s kids. None of this would have been possible without all of the great talented musicians who unselfishly gave their time for the concert and CD.” This year’s lineup included LIVES OF REILY, DAZE OF HAZE, LIVINGROOM LEGENDS, IMPULSE RIDE, SHAUN PIAZZA, PATRICK BLANCHARD, DEATHSTAR, TARA SCHEYER AND THE HALF-SHIRT LEROYS, TURTLENECK, HELLBLINKI SEXTET and JEMANI. A splendid time was had by all. Ring In the Panic Dept. Are you ready to say goodbye to 2003 as much as I am? WIDESPREAD PANIC is once again set for two shows in Atlanta’s Philips Arena Dec. 30 and 31. Longtime fans will tell you that Panic at New Year’s is a special tradition that shouldn’t be missed. In addition to seeing old friends and enjoying some fine festive partying, the music ain’t too bad either. It’s GUY LOMBARDO with a twist. Be there.

TRAIN, whose song “Calling All Nations” is up for a Grammy next year, is set for a fivenight stand next month in Atlanta. Singer PAT MONAHAN and band will visit the rather small club Smith’s Olde Bar (hey, I’m as surprised as you are) Jan. 21-25. The group is touring in support of last year’s “My Favorite Nation” and are playing multiple dates at small venues in Chicago and San Francisco as well. One final warning about Smith’s — watch out for those steps! VAN MORRISON’s latest, “What’s Wrong With This Picture,” is perhaps the crazy Irishman’s finest album in years. If you liked “Moondance,” “Gloria,” “Tupelo Honey” or any of his bluesier work, this disc is for you. Morrison still plays and sounds like a man possessed with loads of soul and this set is on many “best-of” lists for the past year. Turner’s Quick Notes MELISSA ETHERIDGE has “Get Lucky” planned for release Feb. 10 with a tour to follow. … JANE’S ADDICTION has canceled their remaining gigs for 2003, claiming exhaustion. Tour organizers say slow ticket sales are to blame. … 10,000 MANIACS has a box set, “Campfire Songs,” with hits, misses, demos and rarities set for release Jan. 27. … THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND will hit New York City’s Beacon Theatre for another eight-night stand in March. Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. This was the flip side of the original 45 of the Eagles’ “Please Come Home for Christmas.” Q. What was “Funky New Year,” written by Joe Walsh.

38

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Night Life

39 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 2 5 2 0 0 3

Catch The Goodies Dec. 27 at the Soul Bar.

Thursday, 25th Adams Lounge - Keith “Fossill” Gregor y Blind Pig - Pat Blanchard and The Broad Street Jams Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Par t y with DJ Daddy Bear Coliseum - Karaoke with Travis, Hi-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ Greene Streets - Karaoke The Helm - Karaoke Locals - Preston and Weston Michael’s - Mike Swif t Playground - Open Mic Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rust y Soul Bar - Christmas Night Par t y with DJ Surrey Tavern - Stink foot Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Friday, 26th Adams Lounge - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Projections and Selections Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and The Miracle Whips Borders - Angel Clear y Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Argos Angels, White Elephant Gif t Exchange

Coconuts - Bikini Contest Coliseum - Petite DeJonville Cot ton Patch - Jayson Sabo and Michael Baideme Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Josh Pierce D. Timm’s - The Section El Rodeo - DJ Sontiago Finish Line Cafe - DJ French Market Grille West - Quiet Storm Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - When Blood Brings Fire, Mor tal Treason, Envy of Angels Jeremy’s Nightclub - Spoken Word, Open Mic, Dance Par t y with DJ Dick Joe’s Underground - J.A.R. Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Michael’s - Mike Swif t Ms. Carolyn’s - The Horizon Partridge Inn - Kari Gaf fney, Jef f Williams R. Gabriel’s - Chelsea Logue Red Carpet Events - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rust y The Shack - DJ Chip Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Allen Black Soul Bar - Disco Hell Stillwater Tap Room - Henr y Wynn Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Saturday, 27th Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Sessions with

Moniker Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and The Miracle Whips Borders - Billy S. Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Charlie O’s - Live Band Club Argos - Argos Angels Coconuts - DJ Tim Coliseum - Red and Green Par t y with Lauren Alexander Cot ton Patch - Forrest and Jef f Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Capital A D. Timm’s - The Section Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Karaoke French Market Grille West - Quiet Storm Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Burns Out Bright, Regarding I, Four Wall Hear tache, LoVid Jeremy’s Nightclub - Open Mic Joe’s Underground - J.A.R. Locals - Blind Draw Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass with Er yn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars Red Carpet Events - Tony Williams and the Blues Express Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rust y The Shack - DJ Buck wheat Soul Bar - The Goodies, Hellblinki Sex tet Surrey Tavern - Playback featuring Tutu D’Vyne

continued on page 40


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Tuesday, 30th

M E T R O

D E C

The Bee’s Knees - 12*Tone Lounge Blind Pig - Sabo and the Scorchers Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - The Section Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - The Residence, Diar y of December, Noviach, Form Follows Failure Joe’s Underground - John Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Mike Swif t Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session with Pat Blanchard and Friends

2 5

Wednesday, 31st

2 0 0 3

Blind Pig - New Year’s Eve Par t y with Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Club Argos - New Year’s Eve Par t y with Mor tisha Deville and the Gospel Echos, Argos Angels Coconuts - Karaoke Coliseum - New Year’s Eve Gala with Evonne Santoni Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Cot ton Patch - John Kolbeck with Live Band Coyote’s - New Year’s Eve Par t y with The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Nobody’s Fault D. Timm’s - The Section Greene Streets - Karaoke The Helm - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregor y Marlboro Station - New Year’s Eve Par t y with The Best of Claire Storm and Miss Peg, DJ Mark Metro Coffeehouse - 4th Anniversar y, New Year’s Blowout Bash Michael’s - Mike Swif t Playground - New Year’s Eve Par t y with Jemani

S P I R I T

LoVid comes to the Hangnail Gallery Dec. 27. continued from page 39 Wheeler Tavern - DJ Dog

Sunday, 28th Adams Lounge - DJ Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cot ton Patch - Keith “Fossill” Gregor y Marlboro Station - Claire Storm Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emer y Bennet t Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rust y The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha Shannon’s - Tony Howard Somewhere in Augusta - Live Enter tainment

T.G.I. Friday’s - John Kolbeck Wheeler Tavern - Karaoke with DJ Dog

Monday, 29th Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - Still Remains, The Bowels of Judas, By the Sins Fell Angels, The Classic Struggle Joe’s Underground - John Michael’s - Mike Swif t

The Pourhouse - New Year’s Eve Par t y with The Recaps featuring Sassy Brass Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Rust y Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Allen Black Somewhere in Augusta - Live Enter tainment Soul Bar - New Year’s Eve ‘80s Par t y Stillwater Tap Room - Tara Scheyer and the Half-Shir t Leroys Surrey Tavern - Soul Dimension Whiskey Junction - Wa x Bean

Upcoming Newsong’s All-New Winter Jam - AugustaRichmond Count y Civic Center - Jan. 8 Willie Nelson - Augusta-Richmond Count y Civic Center - Feb. 28

Elsewhere Derek Trucks Band - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 26 Sister Hazel - Rox y Theatre, Atlanta - Dec. 26 Dave Mat thews Cover Band - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 27 Trans-Siberian Orchestra - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Dec. 28 B2K - Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta - Dec. 28 Widespread Panic - Philips Arena, Atlanta Dec. 30-31 Winterfest - Liber t y Universit y, Lynchburg, Va. - Dec. 30-Jan. 1 Concrete Blonde - Masquerade, Atlanta - Dec. 31 3 Doors Down - Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Ga. - Dec. 31 Mandorico - Riviera Club, Atlanta - Dec. 31 Drive-By Truckers - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Dec. 31 Sevendust - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - Jan. 3 Mike Epps - Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta Jan. 10 George Strait - The Arena at Gwinet t Center,


Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX, online at w w w.tixonline.com or at their outlet location in Southgate Pla za. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.

Cocktail Hour Nightly 5-8 pm thurs 25

n Quiet Storm plays at French Market Grille West Dec. 26-27.

metro a coffeehouse

Espressos & Cocktails

Open Christmas Day at 9pm

wed 31

4th Anniversary New Years Eve Blow Out Bash Happy Birthday to US!!! Gifts Would be Appreciated

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Holiday Hours: Closed Dec. 24th ReOpen Dec. 25th 8:00 $10 Drink-N Drown

Duluth, Ga. - Jan. 15 My Morning Jacket - Cot ton Club, Atlanta Jan. 17 Sarah Brightman - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Jan. 19 Penny wise - Masquerade, Atlanta - Jan. 21 Gomez - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 24 Bet te Midler - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Jan. 25 Henry Rollins Spoken Word - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 25 Ronnie Milsap - Macon Cit y Auditorium, Macon, Ga. - Jan. 30 Pink Floyd Laser Spectacular - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Jan. 30 Taj Mahal - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Jan. 30 moe. - Fox Theatre, Atlanta - Jan. 31 Puddle of Mudd - Rox y Theatre, Atlanta Feb. 2 Vonda Shepard - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta Feb. 6 Kid Rock - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Feb. 7 Rod Stewart - Philips Arena, Atlanta - Feb. 10 Yonder Mountain String Band - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Feb. 12 Robert Earl Keen - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta - Feb. 14

n

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New Year’s Eve @ Coyotes Hors D’ $30 couples Oeuvre $20 single Buffet $10 Table Reservation

New Year’s Eve @ Coyotes Champagne Toast @ Midnite/Balloon Drops & The Best Party Band in the CSRA The Rhes Reeves Band! Call Now for Tickets & Reservations 560-9245

New Years Day - Yes We’re Open We are celebrating the new year by giving away a Spa Crest Hot Tub. Everyone who comes in is eligible to win! Hot tub will be given away that night! Hot tub provided by Sunshine Pool-n-Spa

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706-560-9245

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42 M E T R O S P I R I T D E C 2 5 2 0 0 3

News of the

Weird M

unicipal employee George Pavlovsky stalked through his shop in April, drunk, carrying a loaded, sawed-off shotgun (sending colleagues fleeing in fear), and looking for the two supervisors who had recently passed him up for promotion. As a result, he was fired by the city (Moncton, New Brunswick) and went to jail in November, but he said through his union (Canadian Union of Public Employees Local 51) that he wants his job back when he gets out, and the union has filed a wrongful-firing grievance on his behalf. Several of his colleagues are still on stress leave from witnessing the incident. Questionable Judgments • According to the arresting officer, Devikia Donise Garnett, 20, was calm when he stopped her for speeding in Hampton, Va., in November. However, after accepting the ticket, she quickly developed second thoughts and lit out after the officer, slamming her car into the back of his cruiser, then stopping and accelerating again, smacking the car three more times. After the officer avoided her fifth pass, Garnett spun around and headed straight for him, but he managed to pin her car before it struck his. • After Norm and Darlene Scott’s Montana farm burned in 1996, they collected $75,000 from Mountain West Farm Bureau insurance but weren’t satisfied and demanded more, finally getting another $52,500 in 1999. However, they wanted still more money and sued the company, claiming it was dealing with them in bad faith. In November 2003, a jury in Helena not only rejected the claim for more money but found that it was the Scotts who had started the fire (a finding that probably never would have been made had the Scotts quietly accepted the first $127,500). (The statute of limitations prevents criminal charges against them, but the insurance company will sue to get its money back.) • Toni Lynn Lycan, 44, in a shouting war with a downstairs neighbor over his loud music, stomped up and down on the floor, eventually breaking both her legs about four inches below the knee (Vancouver, Wash., October). Ironies • In October, imprisoned child molester Kevin Kinder, 31, scheduled for a routine court hearing, was temporarily placed in a holding cell in Tampa, Fla., with 60 other prisoners, among them a 22-year-old man who immediately recognized Kinder as the man who had molested him when he was 11. The man started punching Kinder and knocked out a tooth before he was restrained. • Recently Arrested on Sex Charges: The vice chairman of a Louisville, Ky., antipornography group (for patronizing a prostitute, November); a retired New Jersey

Superior Court judge whose job was to administer Megan’s Law for Camden County (for possession of child pornography, August); and a politically conservative Richmond, Texas, radio-show host who is regularly critical of lax moral standards (for indecent exposure to a child, November). Recurring Themes Once again in October, panic spread through some African cities about black-magic men who could, with a mere touch, make penises shrink or disappear. In alleged incidents in Khartoum, Sudan, and Banjul, Gambia, these sorcerers would shake men’s hands and then extort money in exchange for removing the evil spirits they had just incited. As word spread and fears heightened, vigilantes would chase down the suspected sorcerers and beat them up or kill them. (Academics who study this folklore refer to the communities’ hysteria as “genital retraction syndrome.”) Least Competent Criminals James Perry, with four DUI arrests in Florida, feared rejection if he tried to get a driver’s license in his new home state of Connecticut and so pretended to be Robert Kowalski (the name of his neighbor in Florida), but a routine computer check revealed “Robert Kowalski” to be a Michigan sex offender, unregistered in Connecticut (Clinton, Conn., September). And Mr. Chance Copp, 15, who was on probation for arson and who feared testing positive for marijuana, submitted the urine of a relative, instead, only to find out later that that urine tested positive for cocaine (Chillicothe, Ohio, November). Animal Rights Blues The city of Bartow, Fla., amid complaints about stray chickens, repealed a 1922 ordinance that made it illegal to kill, capture or “annoy” birds (August). And the 10th annual cockroach races (and “tractor”-pull) were held at the Indiana State Fair in August, with separate events for American roaches (on an oval track) and the stronger Madagascar hissing cockroaches (on a straightaway). Dignified Death Prominent author and filmmaker Timothy Treadwell, much of whose work was devoted to his love of brown bears and a campaign to make people more tolerant of them, was killed and partially eaten by bears in October near Kaflia Bay, in southern Alaska. Treadwell carried no weapons in the wild, and according to friends, was unmoved by brown bears’ ferocity. He told one friend, “I would be honored to end up in bear scat.” Also, in the Last Month “Thousands” rioted in Sierra Leone when a prominent pair of Nigerian dwarf comedians no-showed a performance and promoters tried to substitute two local dwarfs (Freetown, Sierra Leone). A brother and sister who had thrown away a winning, $10.5 million Illinois Lotto ticket recovered it, only because their garbage had remained uncollected due to a nine-day sanitation workers’ strike (Chicago). And Dog-Plus K-9 Water went on sale in Australia (for about U.S. $2.10) in flavors like “bacon and beef” because, said the inventor, “dogs get bored with plain water.”

— Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

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My boyfriend of six months just divulged that he is not in love with me. This came as quite a shock, since he’d been saying he was all along (the past four months). I made the first move in telling him I loved him. He says he was afraid I’d dump him if he didn’t respond in kind. He claims he has “very deep feelings” for me, and wants to continue the relationship (including going on the Hawaiian vacation we’d planned). Maybe I’m guilty of being too hasty in expressing my feelings. But now, I’m so embarrassed; I can’t tell my family and friends he’s changed his mind. This man is no kid (he’s 37). He has been very good to me, and the perfect gentleman. Perhaps the novelty of the relationship has worn off, and he’s trying to come up with excuses. Now I wonder whether anything he said was true. Am I right to feel hurt and betrayed? What should I do now? — Liked Deeply Of course you’re upset. This confession of his must totally screw up your timetable for getting your as-of-yet-unconceived triplets into Harvard. Clearly, you’re a woman who likes to plan ahead: “To Whom It May Concern: You are the love of my life. From the moment I looked into your deep (insert color here) eyes, I knew you were ‘The One.’” You had the words, you found a man, why keep them apart? Well, if that’s how you see it, you must have great success getting flowers to grow faster by standing over them and yelling “bloom!” When you’re just two months into a relationship, you’re still reasoning with parts of your body not commonly used for thinking. If you must say you’re definitively “in” something, tell people you’re “in bed.” If you can’t live without hearing “I love you,” buy a parrot or go shout it into the Grand Canyon. The last thing you should do is say it to the person you’re seeing. It won’t make them love you back. It will make them feel pressured into telling you they love you back. Which is probably what happened here. Of course, when you said “I love you,” you really meant “Do hold still while I attach this ball and chain.” He answered accordingly: “I love you, too.” (“Right ankle or left?”) In his defense, what else could he have said — “Thanks!” or “Suddenly, I’m reminded of the budget deficit”? Which is why he decided to

toss you your “I love you, too” and parse the details later. Unfortunately, before he knew it, you’d talked him up as a sort of romantic bowling trophy to family and friends, and “later” became too late. It speaks to his integrity that he finally unsaid it. Which isn’t to say he doesn’t care. He’s still there, after all. He might even get to “I love you,” if only you’ll let him do it on his schedule instead of trying to thumbscrew it out of him on yours. This might be your chance to get to know him well enough to see whether he’s the betraying kind, or a guy you could actually love. In other words, stop trying to define what you’re doing with him, and just have fun doing it. It’s a relationship, not a dog. There’s really no need to name it. I’m a single, unattached guy, 35. Several single women at work seem interested in dating me. There’s no policy prohibiting this. Is there a wise way to take advantage of the opportunities running around the office? — Hoping to Bring Work Home With the long hours some people work, they have little chance of meeting anybody who isn’t a coworker unless they get mugged on the way home from the office. Sadly, the most prudent response to the mugger’s “Your money or your life,” isn’t “Shall we discuss that over a glass of wine?” Office romance probably won’t turn you into a crime statistic, but it could turn you into an unemployment one. Try to choose wisely. The girl who swivels her head like Linda Blair in “The Exorcist” probably isn’t your best bet. Be sure to forge a mutual discretion pact — which may or may not keep your after-hours performance evaluation off the corporate home page. Finally, agree upon an exit strategy — including a detailed postrelationship peace treaty. Count on it working at least as well as the ones brokered for the Israelis and the Palestinians. Does workplace romance really need to be this complicated? Well, no. Just find a buddy who also has a lot of hot coworkers, and trade them like baseball cards. Breaking up with the revenge-minded middle manager two offices down isn’t quite so hard to do when she’s two offices down from your buddy, and two miles and two offices down from you. — © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon 171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 • e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com


Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

In his book, “The Degradation of Language and Music and Why We Should, Like, Care,” John McWhorter says he prefers the energetic rants of poetry slams to the “doggedly flat rainy day poems” of more academic writers. On the other hand, the spoken word stuff rarely ventures beyond “alienation and scolding,” which limits its beauty and power. “The vast weight of human artistic achievement was not created in indignation,” he notes. Please remember that, Aries. Your anger will be good and strong in 2004. It will help you tap into a lot of constructive creativity. But you should resist the temptation to let it influence “everything” you do.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“When you’re following your energy and doing what you want all the time,” says New Age author Shakti Gawain, “the distinction between work and play dissolves.” I’d like to add that you can go a long way towards blending work and play without having to reach Gawain’s impossibly high standard of “all the time.” It would be revolutionary to “follow your energy and do what you want” just “20 percent” more than your current levels. And the astrological omens for 2004 suggest that you can easily exceed that. I say shoot for 30 percent, Taurus. Experiment with creating rich new meanings of the term “labor of love.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

One way or another, you’ll be coming home in 2004, Gemini. Maybe you’ll finally locate the sanctuary that brings out the best in you — the power spot where you feel pure and real and true. Maybe you’ll create the community you’ve always dreamed of or else join a network that connects you to resources that have always been off-limits. Perhaps you’ll go explore the land where your ancestors lived and died for many generations, or maybe you’ll make a pilgrimage to a storied place that holds the key to a mystery you desperately need to clarify. And maybe you’ll do all of the above.

ACROSS

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“The great lesson from the true mystics is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one’s daily life, in one’s neighbors, friends, and family, in one’s back yard.” So said psychologist Abraham Maslow. Of course that’s always true, but in 2004 it will be far more true for you than ever before. You won’t have to travel to exotic paradises to drum up life-changing epiphanies, Cancerian. You won’t have to hunt for miracles in all-night revels at the edge of reality. All the amazement you’ll need will glide right up to you while you’re washing dishes or taking a walk or buying peanut butter. Using FBI crime data, a research company determined that Amherst, New York, is the safest city in America, followed by Brick Township, New Jersey, and Mission Viejo, California. My analysis of the astrological data for 2004 suggests that your sign, Leo, will be safest in all the zodiac. You’re least likely to be a victim of crime, abusive relationships, health problems and bad ideas. I think you should take maximum advantage of this coming grace period. What adventures would you set out on if you knew you had little to fear? What brave decisions would you risk? What “forbidden” pleasures would you sample?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Some of the finest minds I’ve ever known have belonged to Virgos. I’ve benefited greatly from your tribe’s analytical power. Though my gig as an astrology columnist may suggest I favor magical thinking over the logical kind, I am in fact a great admirer of the scientific method and objective reasoning. Having said all that, I can in good conscience tell you to trust your passion way more than usual in 2004. Cut out this quote from Ray Bradbury and carry it in your wallet: “If we listened only to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair or friendship. We’d never go into

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synonymist 34 Longtime 4 Pool sites “Today” host 8 Ready for 35 Its hymn drawing contains the starts to 17-, 13 Noted Tokyo21- and born singer 53-Across 14 Foofaraw 39 Creepy one? 15 Schindler 40 Humdinger portrayer 41 Had a big mouth 17 Danger from above 43 Makes nervous, with “out” 19 Typos and such 48 Clever 20 Deleted, briefly 49 Untold centuries 21 Danger on the 52 Popular ground restaurant 23 Other than this chain, for short 24 Euripides drama 53 Danger in the ocean 25 Go bad 56 Kite flier’s aid 26 Takes care of 57 Lacking, with 28 Normal “of” rhythmical 58 Slangy motto contraction of for 35-Across the heart

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE SET

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N O O N E A S P D E A D SET

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sprays 62 Morse tap 63 Flood barriers: Var. 64 Address with the ZIP code 10001 65 Holy ones: Abbr. DOWN 1 Big tricks 2 Working 3 Down in the dumps 4 P.D.Q. in an O.R. 5 Luau food 6 Confuse 7 “Alas” 8 At a future time 9 Soft ball brand 10 Hatcher of “Lois & Clark” 11 Together 12 They cause jolts to bolts 16 Jaw 18 Has regrets 22 Tetley competitor 24 El Cid foe 27 What to sing while skipping 29 They produce lemons and cherries 30 Besmirch 32 Gravy ingredient

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Amazon.com has begun to do with books what Napster did to music: give them away free online. Along with 120,000 other books, you can now read the entire text of my memoir, “The Televisionary Oracle,” without buying it. My first reaction to this was a clenched “Aaarrrggghhh! My beloved creation, which I slaved over for years, will no longer generate any income!” Soon I moved to a new attitude, Buddhiststyle non-attachment: “Everything in this world is transitory. Why worry about what I can’t control?” Later my view evolved still further, spurred by reports that Amazon expects this innovation to actually boost book sales. “Maybe this is a good thing,” I decided. The process I went through, Libra, will be similar to your own in 2004. I predict that an apparent loss will lead to an unexpected gain.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

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business. Well, that’s nonsense. Sometimes you’ve got to jump off cliffs and grow your wings on the way down.”

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In last week’s horoscope, I predicted that in 2004 you will have many exuberant exploits that spread joy and laughter throughout the land. Now it’s time to reveal your other key assignment for the coming months: to seek out experiences that rouse reverence and awe. Do you have any heroes, Scorpio? Do you know anyone whose noble grace or healing genius takes your breath away? Are there any gorgeous works of art or natural wonders that inspire you to fall to your knees and shout “Glory in the highest!”? You need to put yourself regularly in the presence of marvels like that. For extra credit, create adventures in which you feel both worshipful adoration and rowdy pleasure.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You’ll have some heroic assignments in 2004, Sagittarius. They will challenge you to be both ingeniously creative and rigorously disciplined. Can you think way outside of the box without alienating those who prefer to live inside of the box? Are you openminded enough to get fired up about experimental innovations, but authoritative enough to hammer out pragmatic compromises? Do you have the flexibility to be both a maverick and a leader?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Mountaintop perspectives will be your specialty in

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Two thousand four will be the Year of Games for you. Here are helpful guidelines, courtesy of programmer Garry Hamilton (www.c2.com/cgi/wiki?GarryHamilton). 1. If the game is rigged so you can’t win, find another game or invent your own. 2. If you’re not winning because you don’t know the rules, learn the rules. 3. If you know the rules but aren’t willing to follow them, there’s either something wrong with the game or you need to change something in yourself. 4. Don’t play the game in a half- baked way. Either get all the way in or all the way out. 5. It shouldn’t be necessary for others to lose in order for you to win. If others have to lose, reevaluate the game’s goals.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

I’m hopeful that 2004 will be the year you renounce your habit of taking on the roles of scapegoat and martyr. In fact, let’s launch a campaign to do just that right now. The best way to begin might be to engage in one last self-mocking wallow. Tape a “Kick Me” or “Use Me” sign on your back. Attach a chain to a doormat and wear it around your neck like a big necklace. Invite friends to blame you for everything that’s wrong in their lives. Take the whole shtick to the limit, in other words, Pisces. Feel how ridiculous it is. Encourage it to burn itself out in a blaze of absurd glory. And then walk away from it forever. — © Rob Brezsny You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com

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the coming months, Capricorn. You will be invited again and again to gaze at the big picture. To make sure you keep going with the cosmic flow, keep asking yourself the question, “What would the farseeing, adventure-loving part of me do right now?” Your weekly schedule should always be spiced with tasks that serve your master plan. Now here’s your thought for the week, which can also serve as your thought for the year: “When we stop learning and merely act from the knowledge we have accumulated, disorder comes.” — J. Krishnamurti.

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Puzzle by Manny Nosowsky

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39 Equilibrium the St. Lawrence River 42 Coffeehouse orders 35 Still wrapped up 44 “Oh, no!” 36 Save 45 Pieces of music 37 Prefix with day 46 Walk, slangily or night 38 Coffeehouse

orders

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wrote “Call Me Ishmael”

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For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year). Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

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LOOKING FOR ME Female, 34, Leo, smoker, seeks man, 25-38, for romance, real friendship, with similar interests, possibly more later on. ☎844726 OLD-FASHIONED LADY SWCF, 48, 5’3”, 150lbs, blonde/green, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, Bible studies, music, dining out. Seeking SWCM, 35-60, N/S, for friendship and more. ☎840939 DREAM GUY SBF, 29, searching for open-minded, outgoing SM, 22-38, military man A+, for friendship, fun nights out, dancing, talks and maybe more. ☎836990 SOMEONE TO LOVE SWF, 48, enjoys a good horror movie, a drama or a comedy. Seeking a man for romance, quiet times at home, or just dancing the night away! ☎832399 COULD THIS BE YOU? SBF, 45, 5’4”, full-figured, Taurus, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, reading, and quiet times at home. ISO BM, 45-65, N/S, for LTR. ☎810309 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. ☎456544 ENVELOPING EMBRACE Kind-hearted SBCF, 52, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, attending church. Seeking loving SBCM, 52-65, with similar interests. ☎287845 LOVES TO BOWL WF, 48, petite, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys Chicano cuisines. Seeking WM, 46-59, N/S, very outgoing, for LTR. ☎806136 HIKER HEAVEN SWF, 45, full-figured, N/S, enjoys church, exploring, old movies, auctions, and gym. Seeking WM, 46-56, N/S. Let’s make tracks together. ☎807679 ADVENTUROUS MOM SBF, 29, Cancer, N/S, loves beaches, horror movies, and horseback riding. Seeking man, 25-40, N/S, strong-minded, who loves kids. ☎808682 SEEKS SIMILAR SWF, 23, Capricorn, N/S, 5’2”, 190lbs, brown hair, enjoys sports, walks, dining, cuddling. Seeking SWM, 20-33, N/S, for possible relationship. ☎800318 HI! I’m a 49-year-old SWF and I WLTM a onewoman’s man, very lonely person. I WLTM a gentleman who would to be good to me and treat me w/kindness and gentleness. ☎793024 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. ☎421273 NEVER SAY NEVER SWF, 41, 5’2”, blonde/blue, cuddly, new to area, Kentucky girl, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys cooking, waterfalls, kissing, long walks. Seeking WM, 38-46, for friendship, and who knows? ☎686314 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? SWF, 48, Cancer, N/S, seeks WM, 40-56, who wants to have a great relationship. Why not give me a call? You never know. ☎511453 LOOKING FOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, attractive, compassionate, easygoing, desires SWM, 24-34, honest, open-minded for friendship and companionship. ☎323553

A VERY SERIOUS WOMAN SBPF, 34, mother of 3, nurse, independent and secure, enjoys church, movies, dining. looking for commitment-minded, level-headed, spiritual, spontaneous, respectful man, who truly appreciates a good woman. Sound like you? ☎777612 AQUARIUS SEEKING SWF, 46, 5’6”, smoker, enjoys cuddling, movies, gardening. Seeking honest, handsome SWM, 40-50, with similar interests, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎759515 MY OTHER HALF! SF, 46, 5’9’’, loves art, camping, fishing, animals, just getting away, relaxing. Seeking SM, 40-50, with the same interests. ☎732412 THE LORD, ABOVE ALL SBCF, 38, Pisces, N/S, in the medical field (works private duty), would like to meet SBCM, 38-50, who shares my love of the Lord, for LTR. ☎727626 TRAVEL, ANIMALS... and movies make me happy. SWF, 53, Capricorn, N/S, loves the fall and spring and visiting Gatlinburg, TN. Seeking WM, 55-56, for LTR. ☎728854 FRIEND IN FAITH SBF, 47, Capricorn, N/S, involved with church, very creative, artistic, designs tile and cards. Seeking BCM, 44-58, involved with church, who loves the Lord. ☎707742 SOUND IN MIND SWF, 40, 5’6’’, brown/green, mother, Pisces, N/S, N/Drugs, seeks attractive, good guy, sound in mind, body, and soul, for friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎701180 I LOVE ROSES SBF, 31, likes dining out, movies, travel, sports, music. Seeking SBM, 31-40, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎675623 SOMEONE YOU KNOW? Full-figured SBF, 62, 5’11”, H/W proportionate, brown/brown, loving, likes church, singing, movies. Seeking a good man who knows what he wants. ☎676011 SOUTHERN BELL SBF, 50, with a pretty face, wants to meet a BCM, who loves to dance, shop and needs more fun in life. ☎660334 SINGLE MOM Plus-sized female, 29, 5’3”, brown/hazel, cute, independent, enjoys conversation, movies, dining out. Seeking a man with a life of his own and would like to share mine as well. ☎634069 YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, down-toearth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. ☎582549 I’D LIKE TO HEAR... what you have to say. SBF, 18, 5’5”, darkskinned, pretty, Aries, N/S, enjoys shopping, vacations, and movies. Seeking a man, 20-28. ☎578781 RAINY DAYS AND COOKING... are a few of my delights. DBF, 38, 5’5”, 125lbs, pecan tan complexion, laid-back, down-toearth, Aquarius, smoker, N/D, seeks BM, 3045. ☎569952 JUST BE THERE FOR ME SBF, 23, 5’2”, Pisces, N/S, enjoys traveling. Seeking a romantic WM, 25-31, N/S, for LTR. ☎576613 MAKE YOUR OWN DESTINY Loving, intelligent SBF, 34, seeks SBM, 3545, for companionship, long walks, movies, dining out and more. ☎550597 SINGLE MOM SEEKING SBF, 20, Gemini, N/S, mother of twins, likes going to the park, spending time with family, going to the mall, movies, seeks compatible SBM, 18-35, N/S. ☎532672 DON’T PASS ME BY SHF, 18, 5’1”, 126lbs, short/brown, would like to meet a guy for bowling, dancing and romance. ☎463061

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

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46 M E T R O

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ALL EARS SBM, 26, Gemini, N/S, very outgoing, loves working out, easygoing, loves to have fun, seeks outgoing woman, 19-31, who likes to have fun. ☎654007 HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6’3”, 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎556440 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎557954

FUN TO HANG AROUND WITH GWM, 52, 5’2”, smoker, enjoys playing pool, having fun, seeks outgoing GWM, 40-55, smoker, with similar interests. ☎844895 ACTIVE SBM SBM, 49, Pisces, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, playing sports, seeks compatible BM, 30-46, N/S, with similar interests. ☎846543 SEEKING SPECIAL GENTLEMAN SBM, 33, 6’2”, 245lbs, Taurus, N/S, likes movies, camping, music, reading, sports. Seeking out GM, 35-48, for friendship, possible romance. ☎824261 GREAT PERSONALITY SBM, 18, 6’3”, 220lbs, masculine build, seeking SBM, 18-29, very masculine, energetic, fun-loving, to go out for dinners, walks and more. ☎627150 SEEKING SOMEONE SINCERE GWM, 42, 5’11”, 175lbs, brown/blue, somewhat masculine, outgoing and friendly, likes dining out, travel, movies and shopping. Looking to meet honest, passionate SBM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. ☎769411 FRIENDSHIP FIRST GWM, 26, 5’3”, athletic build, N/S, likes sports, working out, travel, reading, swimming. Seeking non-smoking GW/AM, 20-26, with similar interests. ☎764332 HEALTHY AND FIT SBM, 25, 5’5”, 170lbs, masculine, nighttime inventory stocker, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys working out. Seeking energetic, passionate, masculine WM, 20-50, N/S. ☎708544 A LOT TO OOFER Outgoing SWM, 5’ 10”, average build, 44, Capricorn, smoker, seeks WM, 40-50, smoker, to date and enjoy a lifetime companionship. ☎691527 DONT MISS OUT Fun-loving GWM, 24, likes sports, dining out, movies, quiet evenings at home, music. Seeking romantic, affectionate GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎675371 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP SBM, 6’1”, 214lbs, enjoys indoor activities. Seeking masculine SW/BM, honest, sincere, who is looking for new friendships. ☎737679 SPRINGTIME BLOOM SWM, 33, with an education in business, seeks a man who loves country music, karaoke, springtime, and making a connection with a good person. ☎659296 ROAM IF YOU WANT TO SWM, 42, loves cool weather and the renewal of Spring. Seeking a man who is strong both physically and emotional. ☎661792 SEA OF LOVE SWM, 29, Pisces, smoker, 5’7”, 175lbs, swims like a fish, likes water-skiing, bowling, movies, time at home, seeks compatible SWM, 30-40, for LTR. ☎647347 MASCULINE AND FIT SWM, 39, Libra, smoker, 5’8”, brown/brown, masculine, works out, fit, likes movies, riding bikes, camping, cooking, time at home. Seeks SWM, 30-43, with similar interests. ☎545309

How do you

RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun SBM, 26-37, N/S. ☎532700 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating/LTR. ☎436231 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. ☎493530 ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. ☎425471 ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707

1 YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BiWF, 27, enjoys everything, promises you won’t regret it. If you’re looking for a good time and friendship, I’ll be perfect for you. ☎830500 PLAYS GUITAR, WRITES... poetry, and rollerblades. NativeAmerican/African-American female, 18, 5’5”, 117lbs, very toned, laid-back, a goofball at times, N/S, seeks woman, 18-29. ☎818596 BONEVILLE BABE SWF, 31, 5’5”, 130lbs, brown/green, smoker, enjoys playing golf, movies, and picnics at the lake. Seeking WF, 25-40, for friends, possibly more. ☎818908 DIVA WITH DIMPLES Independent DWF, 23, Gemini, smoker, enjoys hip-hop, R&B, and country music. Seeking WF, 20-30, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. ☎808179 GET TO KNOW ME SBF, 25, Taurus, N/S, enjoys movies, travel. Seeking woman, 21-30, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. ☎803723 WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. ☎448489

THE SWEETEST THING SBF, 26, 5’8”, 145lbs, wants to get out and have fun with a new friend, maybe more with time. ☎832018

A LOT TO OFFER Non-smoking GBF, 37, N/S, seeks very attractive, unique, romantic, fun, intelligent, feminine GF, 27-37, for friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎749660

A NEW BEGINNING Attractive and outgoing SWF, 5’ 5”, Athletic build, 20, Aquarius, smoker, loves the outdoors, camping and hiking. Seeking WF, 2150, for LTR. ☎751226 JUST THE FACTS SBPF, 41, Libra, N/S, seeks PF, age and race unimportant, who enjoys dining out, quiet times at home, and movies, for LTR. ☎730225 SEEKING STRONG FRIENDSHIP BiWF, 27, 5’8’’, 145lbs, student, enjoys romantic comedies, fall, quiet restaurants. Seeking female for clubbing, shopping, dancing, dining, movies, television. ☎700095 LOOKING FOR A FRIEND GBF, 38, black/brown, medium build, N/S, likes dining out, movies, travel, sports. Seeking kind, sweet, honest GBF, 30-38, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎695904 ENJOYS BOWLING SBF, 32, Gemini, N/S, 5’3”, 145lbs, mother of one, enjoys movies, the mall, dining, going out to eat, bowling, quiet times at home, seeks woman, 21-38, for friendship, possible romance. ☎646271 LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. ☎388943 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063

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© 2003 TPI GROUP

CAN WE TALK ? Spiritual SWM, 44, Capricorn, smoker, who enjoys the Fall. Seeking AF, 30-50, for LTR. ☎755341 A LOT TO OFFER easygoing SWM, 5’ 11”, Athletic build, 23, Cancer, N/S, seeks woman, 18-35, for friendship, possible romance. ☎761055 ACTUAL NICE GUY Independent, professional SBM, 5’ 9”, Average build, 30, Pisces, with a nice smile, N/S, seeks woman, 27-37, N/S, for friendship, possible romance. ☎751873 DONT PASS ME BY SWM, 41, Sagittarius, smoker, who enjoys cooking. Seeking Attractive WF, 30-50, to date. ☎752123 ACTUAL NICE GUY Handsome, outgoing, open-minded SWM, 5’ 11”, Average build, 51, Leo, smoker, enjoys traveling. Seeking woman, 40-50, for LTR. ☎733850 HERE I AM! SM, 43, likes playing golf, the outdoors, nature, country music, some rock-n-roll. Would like to get together with a young lady, 27-45, who likes the same things. ☎703650 COMMITMENT-MINDED SWM, 5’7”, slim build, new to area, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking SF, 25-47, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎695638 SEEKS WARRIOR QUEEN Warrior SBM, 29, likes movies, horseback riding, travel, romantic evenings. Seeking warrior queen, 18-29, with similar interests. ☎695792 LOOKING FOR YOU SWM, 43, Taurus, smoker, likes funny movies. Seeking WF, 29-35, smoker, for friendship, possible romance. ☎693348 GETTING TO KNOW YOU SWM, 54, Libra, N/S, loves baseball, jogging, and swimming. Seeking WF, 40-55, for friendship, possible romance. ☎685199 A SMILE SAYS IT ALL Easygoing SBM, 32, new to area, enjoys dining, sporting events, quiet times home. Seeking SF who enjoys sports and doesn’t always need to be on the go, for romance, LTR. ☎683984 ARE YOU LOOKING 4 LOVE? you’ve found it! Honest, trustworthy SM, 33, enjoys drives, cruises, quiet times at home, time with friends, good conversations. Seeking communicative, outgoing, intelligent lady to share friendship and maybe relationship. ☎681924 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated SBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet SWF, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. ☎442021 HANDY MAN Medium-built, tolerant, clean, financially secure DWM, 48, 5’10”, Aquarius, smoker, with a good sense of humor, enjoys cooking, house work, gardening, reading, music, cuddling. Seeking woman, 35-55, for long-term relationship. ☎607612 PRINCE CHARMING SM, 25, 6’, 180lbs, brown/brown, truck driver, likes movies, reading, dining out, dancing, sports, travel. Seeking mature, outgoing woman who knows what she wants. ☎675675 SINGLE DAD Attractive, outgoing SWM, 27, 5’6”, 160lbs, likes movies, dining out, travel, conversation. Seeking outgoing, caring woman, 18-35, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎677721 WAITING FOR YOU SBM, 19, with a brown complexion, wants to meet a woman who is through with games, for the fun stuff of life. ☎656637 OUT OF THE ORDINARY SWM, 21, smoker, likes Nelly, break dancing, ideal date would be dinner followed by something out of the ordinary, such as time at the shooting range, seeks SBF, for LTR. ☎651750

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Mind, Body & Spirit

Rosedale Transport Needs OTR Drivers, both team and solo. If you have one year experience, CDL Class A with haz-mat, good driving record. Home weekly, 1-800-486-3681 (12/25#8319)

Professional Massage By experienced male. Designed for healthy men 18 - 45. A great way to rela x House & Hotel Calls Only 706-589-9139 (12/18#8316)

Attention! Do you have construction and/or sales experience? National Building Systems Company looking for local area dealers. Excellent income oppor tunity! 888-755-2538 (12/25#8291)

Religion

Friday, December 26th • Petite Dejohnville

$10 Cover includes party favors & bottle of champagne (over 21) The Best of Claire Storm & Miss Peg DJ Mark Shaking Your Groove Thang Honey Child! Midnight Balloon Drop

Saturday, December 27th • Red & Green Party w/ Lauren Alexander Wednesday, December 31st • New Year’s Eve Gala w/ Evonne Santoni

New Year’s Eve Party

Drink Specials: WED $9 Wet N' Wild FRI & SAT Famous Beer Bust All You Can Drink $9

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

141 Marlboro Street, N.E. Aiken S.C. • 803-644-6485

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

OPEN THUR, FRI, SAT & SUN • 8PM-2AM $3 COVER AFTER 10PM

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

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Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

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••••• ••••• •••••

Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 706-868-5598 (12/25#8298)

Meditation & Buddhism: Tuesdays, 7 - 8:30 PM, Jan 13 - 27th at the Unitarian Church of Augusta 3501 Walton Way Ex tension Ganden Center (803) 256-0150 or www.MeditationInSouthCarolina.org (12/25#8322)

Travel

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Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and Chakra balancing. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

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Call 738-1142 We accept VISA or Mastercard. *And remember ... one person’s trash is another man’s treasure.

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We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676

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Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 557 Greene Street, 11 am and 6 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCOurRedeemer@aol.com www.mccoor.com (12/25#8128)

Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m. Call (706) 733-5851

Professional Massage By experienced male. Designed for healthy men 18 - 45. A great way to rela x House & Hotel Calls Only 706-589-9139 (12/25#8316)

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Real Estate **27 VALUABLE TIPS** Free repor t reveals what you should know to get your home sold fast and for top dollar! Free recorded message 1-877-276-7219 ID#1023 Re/Max Masters, Inc. (12/25#8311)

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RAY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fax (12/25#8299)

Fishing for a good deal on real estate in Columbia County WWW.GAHUD.COM (12/25#8312)

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Summer Camp Jobs We are looking for outgoing, outdoor-loving, outstanding role models to work as camp staff this summer. Positions are available for overnight camp as well as some day camp oppor tunities. Experience working with youth and/or outdoor programming are a plus. Please submit your resume; At tn: Summer Camp Jobs, 1325 Greene St., Augusta, GA 30901, tperkins@girlscoutscsra.org or fax 706-7740045. EOE (12/25#8321)

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• Laundry & Linen Washing • Home Organization • In-Home Companion Care • Much More!


Celebrate New Year’s At

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Modjeska

Photo by Joe White

When only the best will do

706.303.9700 • 813 broad

Make your reservations at www.modjeskalounge.com


Metro Spirit 12.25.2003