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Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at m.© events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per


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Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Matt Matt Stone|Adam Wadding|Jenny W Wr Wright ht

o r t e m IR P S



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MichaelJohnson|sightings ‡ ValerieEmerick|writer ‡ AmyPerkins|editorial intern ‡ LauraPerry|volunteer


lights and tail lights be on for 30 minutes after sunrise and for 30 minutes before sunset. This Keep Christ in Christmyth! was one of the questions on the everyone I work with is a moron. drivers test when applying for a license. sometimes it sucks to be smarter than everyone else. Good riddance to Matt Aitken! Despite being slender, he was The reason the local radio a dead weight that did not help station announces the exact out District 1 at all. Now we will time for sunrise and sunset is have leadership! simple if you operate a vehicle in Georgia. You do know that Georgia Law requires both head

Austin, go back to white space. People who wear bow ties are Don’t polute our beloved “Metro just begging to be called dbags. Spirit” with racist commentary Since the Metro Spirit has been like the daily paper! under new management, it is To the person who deliberately plain to see that the diversity that was once the hallmark aimed for, hit and killed the of your paper is no longer animal crossing the road: I there. In the 3 issues after the believe there is a special place elections, there has been no in Hell just for people like you who hurt children and animals. mention Pres. Obama’s reelection and the historic victory For the angel on Mack Lane, thank you for your empathy and for Richard Roundtree as the first black sheriff in Richmond assistance.

18 o r t e m IRIT 8 SP 12 14

County. I believe you need to move your offices farther down Washington Rd. to the Windmill and Riverwood Plantation area where you can isolate yourself along with the folks who live out there. I’m from the north and most Americans don’t think like the “still living in the civil war” south. And….we won that war, too. Peace.

(continued on page 46)

Gathering Storm: Sentinel Probation faces an onslaught of cases threatening its stranglehold Blue Light Special: New law enforcement vehicles serve and protect Movin’ on Up: New construction at Plant Vogtle starting to rise out of the ground Rare medal: Medal honoring Chicago hero turns up in Augusta… over 100 years later

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Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.








Poor John Boehner: forced to sit alone in the Congressional cafeteria with no milk, scared by a rubber snake left in his office desk, pelted with rotten eggs at a “pizza party” he was invited to. Oh, wait. That’s not real, is it? Dang.


Who’s up to see “Suite 2806,” a play currently showing in Paris, about former International Monetary Fund Director Dominique Strauss-Kahn and the New York hotel housekeeper he was accused of sexually assaulting? Anyone?

Downtown Development Authority Director Margaret Woodard wasn’t feeling all that good before addressing commissioners at Monday’s committee meetings. She could only have been feeling worse after it was over. Woodard was there to inform commissioners that the Business Improvement District (BID) was 20 votes short of the 51 percent of property owners needed for renewal. If she didn’t get the 51 percent before noon on Monday, Woodard said she would remove it from Tuesday’s commission agenda, which seems an odd move, since she also announced a public meeting right before the commission meeting — a meeting that would be moot if without the 51 percent and perhaps counterproductive with it, since Commissioner Jerry Brigham confirmed with legal council that even with the 51 percent, the commission could still consider whether or not to approve it. The BID, created in 2007, was intended to provide extra funds to help the Broad Street area become a destination spot similar to those in Charleston and Savannah, and it has several things going against it, not the least of which is the fact that it has fallen short of many of its originally stated goals — things like safety, maintenance, marketing, business recruitment and business retention. Commissioner Wayne Guilfoyle called it a $350,000 cleaning service, then insisted that the prisoners who used to do the clean up did about as good a job. Woodard apparently considered that a compliment, because her defense for the lack of a safety component rested squarely in the idea that sometimes cleanliness can be considered safety. That’s like using a negative to prove another negative is really a positive. Even more unpopular than the condition of Broad Street was the revelation that the Marriott not only controls two of the 12 BID board members, but it exists in its own sub-district and is taxed at a lower rate than the rest of the business owners in the BID. Woodard said it was because that, unlike the rest of the BID, the Marriott has its own security, landscaping and cleaning crews, but in the wake of the TEE Center/parking deck fiasco and the fact that Woodard pretty much established that no one else was getting security or landscaping services, no one seemed too impressed with her argument.

Margaret Woodard



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An Augusta Mystery II Last week we reported on the Imperial Theatre’s fundraising campaign and recalled the case of the missing 150 large from the historic theater’s coffers five years ago. The story has pursued us since. As of press time, we have new, compelling information that has come to us that we are in the process of vetting. One thing is clear, however. There was systematic financial fraud going on under the Imperial Theatre’s Board of Directors’ noses, and when it hit the fan, it appears the most important thing on the board members’ minds was saving face.

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The crime itself was, and is, bad enough. But the stone wall built around the truth by the members was, and is, deplorable. “No SPLOST dollars were involved!” was about the most that anyone involved would own up to. Looking back at how the affair was handled, it is a great case study in what not to do in a similar situation. Fraudulent financial reports. Glaring top and bottom line inconsistencies. And some pretty conspicuous spending. Pretty dirty stuff. Ahh, the holidays. This story is developing…

Play Ball! As we reported on our Facebook page days ago, the Augusta GreenJackets are apparently moving to North Augusta. The deal, which has been in the works for about a month or so, would put a stadium adjacent to Hammond’s Ferry on the riverfront just north of the 13th Street bridge. There’s been talk about something moving there for some time now, but speculation was that it would be a hotel. Now, it seems, it will be the downtown stadium so many wanted, only in the wrong downtown. Apparently, a full development plan was revealed on an overlay of the property. Who would build what remains to be seen, but the word is Cal Ripken would be selling to an investor group and staying on for about a year. 706.863.7172 3830 Washington Rd, Augusta, GA







Back-Pew Hero Worship Guard-changing, liberal America and closure

If any high-profile members of the GOP attended or watched the myriad of combat sporting events from this past weekend — Mitt and Ann Romney were actually ringside at the Pacquiao-Marquez fight, for some reason — they likely found themselves looking into a mirror of sorts. In the interest of a more extended metaphor, they likely found themselves gazing into an abyss that not only gazed back, but also pointed and laughed, Nelson-style. See, our nation recently turned a corner, and I’m not just saying that because Obama — i.e., the dude I voted for — won. Candidates win and lose hundreds of offices every year, and the world turns as per usual. The outcome of this presidential election, however, perhaps more than any in the past few decades, hinged almost purely on social issues. Yes, the economy was front and center, but burgeoning (if covert) class and gender warfare were at the root of it. This election saw issues like abortion rights, Planned Parenthood funding, gay marriage and tax hikes on the wealthy inextricably intertwined with the state of our nation’s bank account. In essence, it was a clearly delineated victory, a snapshot of a nation moving gradually, though inexorably, in a certain direction. When BJ Penn, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and Manny Pacquiao entered the ring or cage for their respective fights this past weekend, they did so as living, breathing legends. The term gets thrown around quite a bit, but consider the facts and figures: BJ Penn, nicknamed “the Prodigy” for his early, preternatural grappling and striking ability, is one of only three fighters in topshelf MMA history to win belts in two weight classes (lightweight and welterweight), separated by 15 pounds, no less, and has been competitive across an astonishing four weight classes, spanning 50 pounds. Shogun, a whirling dervish of Muay Thai bloodlust, was only 24 when he won the PRIDE Middleweight Grand Prix, running through a murderers’ row of top-flight 205-pounders, including future UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Quinton Jackson, Alistair Overeem, Antonio Rogerio Nogueria and Ricardo Arona. Later, in the UFC, he became the first man to definitively solve the puzzle of karate stylist Lyoto Machida, first losing a controversial decision, then scoring a first-round KO in the immediate rematch, and winning the LHW championship. I’ve gone on and on about Pacquiao before, so I’ll just remind you that the man has won titles in six weight classes, retired Oscar de la Hoya and Ricky Hatton, and was ducked by Floyd freaking Mayweather for two years.



It had to have been sobering, then, for these three men, this trio of finely tuned, battle-tested badasses — who, by the way, will be able to tear any lay mortal apart no matter how old they get — to each wake up on Sunday morning, just having had the tar thrashed out of them. Granted, for Penn and Rua this is a less-alien sensation. Penn has been beaten up, even TKOd before, and Shogun has been in more knock-down, drag-out brawls than I can remember. For Pacquiao, however, this is jarringly unexplored terrain. He’s been knocked down a time or two, roughed up here and there, but never been truly rocked, and certainly never been knocked out cold. Promoters are already talking about a fifth fight, because you can apparently never have too many tiebreakers, but I doubt we get it. This past weekend, and this past November, we saw inevitability laid bare, come to fruition. The outcomes of each fight, in varying ways, reflect and sum up the results of the election, the way they transpired, and the GOP reaction. Penn and Rua were in similar positions. Fading yet still potent veterans, they were matched up on Saturday night with well-rounded killers in their athletic primes: Alexander Gustaffson, coming off several straight dominating wins, was tapped to fight Rua, while Rory MacDonald — wunderkind training partner of current welterweight kingpin Georges St. Pierre — welcomed Penn back from a brief retirement. The promotional angle was clear: give the up-and-comer a marquee win in order to fast track them to a title shot. In combat sports, a tale as old as time. And you know — just like conservatives last month — everyone saw it coming except those that had it coming. Rua had a few moments, but was otherwise picked apart, his cardio gradually failing, by the bigger, younger Gustaffson. Penn, on the other hand, was destroyed. MacDonald landed massive body shots, peppered his jab at will, controlled Penn against the cage and on the ground, and just generally turned the former champ’s entire body into hamburger. It would have been hard to watch if Penn wasn’t such a dick. The signs were there. About a year ago, Penn, who had otherwise demonstrated an impressively high fight IQ coupled with ridiculously dangerous hands, was lured into an ill-advised slugfest-at-distance with Nick Diaz. Just a few months back, Brandon Vera — who came into the fight with zero expected of him — gave Shogun all he could handle, even floored the onetime phenom a time or two,

until he was finally finished, exhausted, at the end of the fourth round. These were not men that Penn and Rua were supposed to, should have, struggled with. They were, in fact, tailormade for victory. Conditions, it seemed, were perfect. While neither man was finished this past weekend, they were gradually broken, and bore witness to their own dismantling, painfully conscious of it all the while. So it went during the last month of the election, as Obama battered Romney in the latter two debates, public opinion of him soared, and the best Romney could do was pretend to give a damn about Sandy victims. And yet it seemed, as more and more states swung blue, and as each punch landed with more and more force, the soon-to-be-defeated couldn’t bring themselves to believe it. Penn and Rua stayed on their feet, bewildered, and Romney refused to concede until the late hours of November 6, late hours that finally saw the GOP ticket pick itself up off the floor and begin to come to grips with reality. True fighters — those who have been in the game long enough to know the score — are harder on themselves than anyone else. They’re also, in general, smart, and know when to get out. That, I’m afraid, is where these fighter-to-conservative comparisons end. Pacquiao, Penn and Rua all will have sobering decisions to make in the coming weeks. And they will make them, according to the evidence at hand. According, as I say, to the evidence at hand. At least I hope. Penn, for his part, failed to see the writing on the wall last year, and paid for it in the extreme. Shogun’s shelf life is dwindling. And poor Manny Pacquiao — if you can generate sympathy for a man who commands $40 million purses when he fights — after three incredibly problematic fights with Juan Manuel Marquez, finally ate the punch that had been in the making for nearly a decade. It’s sobering, to question one’s place in the world, a world you previously, greatly impacted. You can either adjust and evolve, or live in a state of perpetual denial. Those who do the former live to see their legacy intact. For those that choose the latter a footnote, the refuse pile.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.



GOP Rocks Detroit City One of the foundations of the modern conservative political movement has been its steadfast opposition to the heavy handed and often irrational policies and behaviors of organized labor. So this week’s movement by Michigan state legislators and their Republican governor to remove regulations that require mandatory membership and dues payment to said labor unions is a huge milestone, especially in the state that is most known for its domestic automotive production. To say the recent troubles of two of our American auto giants were largely selfinflicted would be a huge understatement. General Motors and Chrysler landed right where their hideous behavior and business practices put them, broke, busted and holding the bag for the union bullies DBA the United Auto Workers. You gotta love the UAW! They may know how to build cars (feel free to debate that one) but their math skills leave a helluva lot to be desired. That union bigwigs did not see or understand that they were riding their horse into the ground should be considered nothing short of criminal negligence. These folks were either incredibly crazy or incredibly stupid or both. The numbers have been right under their noses since the early ’70s; only a moron wouldn’t have known what was coming. But still their demands were made and still their demands were met. The unions and the idiots who signed off on the booty not only killed the goose that laid the golden eggs, they fed it whole straight into a wood chipper. But this wasn’t a sudden development; the slaughter was years in the making. Once the example by which all global industrialized development was measured, our domestic automotive producers put out dependable machines, paid a fair wage to workers and managed to make a profit for their investors. Then someone decided that the workers were getting the short end of the stick. Sadly, management caved (as did the feds) and allowed the unions to dictate policy, profit margin and just about everything else that mattered. They got fat, they got lazy, and they got their fannies kicked by the competition. In the ’70s, the American car companies started building substandard vehicles (that continued up until very recently), paid their labor far more than reasonable wages and guaranteed retirees benefit packages that looked like something Warren Buffet should be getting (at least he still works!). The upside down financial mess that


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GM and their compadres find themselves stuck in is almost 100 percent the fault of the unions and piss poor management decisions. The only thing the 2007 global economic meltdown did was rip away the thin sheet that had been covering the mangled remains of the industry for most of the prior two decades. So what happens? Instead of calling this abortion of a business model out for what it is, we have not one, but two American presidents take taxpayers’ hard-earned money and continue to feed the addicts with no real corrective action, much less any honest assessment of what put their ass in the wringer. Okay, I understand that President Barack Obama is about as likely to attack a labor union as I am to run a marathon, but GW? C’mon now! President George W. Bush could have used his bully pulpit to nail these greedy union SOBs for everything they have ever done wrong, but instead, he quietly steps out of the way while handing over a big fat check for billions of your dollars. That is like paying a gang of thugs to slap your grandmother. I have never been more disappointed in a so-called conservative. It was enough to make me pine for Jack Kemp. The good news is that the unions had to accept steep pay cuts and a near top to bottom common sense reform of their gluttonous pension plans in order for GM and Chrysler to survive. The move now to remove mandatory union membership as a condition of employment in the state of Michigan is a beautiful thing. Mandatory participation in anything is about as anti-American as it gets. To those who say conservatism is dead, look north. Oh, and give credit to the Yankees for appreciating the right-to-work philosophies the south embraces like a righteous religion.


The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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Blue Light Special

New law enforcement vehicles serve and protect

The recent upgrade in police vehicles has the streets of Columbia and Richmond counties teeming with fresh new car designs. In 2011, it was released that the Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor—the model used previously in both Richmond and Columbia County—would no longer be manufactured. The teams had to begin their search for their new interceptor, with a few options to choose from. The Ford Police Interceptor, Dodge Charger, Chevrolet Caprice and Impala were all in the running. In their decisions, the two counties decided to go in separate directions for the vehicles that would patrol their county streets. “Our fleet team went out and tested multiple [vehicles] and decided on the Dodge Charger because of its history of good maintenance,” said Pam Tucker, director of the Emergency and Operations Division in Columbia County. As director of Emergency and Operations Division, fleet services falls under Tucker’s direction. This history of good maintenance behind the Charger was the driving force for the decision over the Ford, which is packaged specifically as a pursuit vehicle. The Charger had already been assigned to traffic units in Columbia County, which made for an even easier decision of what new patrol vehicles to purchase. “With only 14 people on staff to maintain these vehicles, the team didn’t want anything too high maintenance,” said Tucker. The Charger has been, and continues to be used in many North American police agencies across the 8


country, including the NYPD and LAPD. Richmond County looked at a separate factor while making their decision — idling cost. The Ford Taurusbased Police Interceptor proved to be a cheaper route to go, as vehicles have to idle while at an accident scene or directing traffic. In a metropolitan area, this factor would prove to be an important one to consider. “Idle cost was the huge difference,” said Capt. Scott Gay, who works for the Special Operations division in Richmond County. While the Charger outperforms in an interstate environment, it didn’t prove to be a better choice for Richmond County, where there is a lot of stop and go driving. The choice of the Interceptor would lower the

cost of gas—an important aspect to consider with today’s rising fuel prices. “I drove the Charger, Caprice and Impala, and it was my opinion that the new Ford Interceptor, for its price, outperformed the other vehicles for a metropolitan area,” said Gay. Other aspects of the Taurus proved more worthy to Gay as well. “They put a lot of technology into the [Interceptor] that they got from NASCAR; such as aerodynamics and the cooling of the brakes. In a pursuit, it is important for brakes to stay cool.” He also said that while they lost some trunk space, the vehicle appears and feels the same as 13DECEMBER2012

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the Crown Victoria. While the Interceptor was the No. 1 choice for patrol vehicle in the metro area, the county still chose to use the Charger and Impala for investigators and administrative staff for its cheaper cost and because those jobs didn’t require a vehicle that would be put under heavy use, such as a patrol vehicle would. Columbia County is also making use of their options. Along with the new Chargers, the county fleet still has a mix of older Dodge Chargers and Ford Crown Victorias. The makes and models of any unmarked vehicles that are on patrol were asked to remain confidential. “We don’t want to give out those makes and models for obvious reasons,” said Capt. Steve Morris, Criminal Investigations division in Columbia County. These patrol cars and unmarked vehicles are not the only thing on the road, however. Motorcycles and bicycles are also in use. For these two-wheeled patrol officers on the road, the two counties also used separate brands of motorcycles. While Columbia County went with Harley Davidson, Richmond decided to go with 10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

the Honda ST1300, a made for police motor vehicle. “The reason we went with the Honda over Harley Davidson was because of its cooling system,” said Gay. “The Honda uses liquid cooling.” One reason liquid cooling can be a better choice over air is that water can conduct heat 35 times better than air, allowing heat to move in and out of it much more easily. Also, the Harley’s can’t idle as long without over heating. Columbia County leased two BMW motorcycles in late 2001 but the proved difficult to be serviced. High horsepower vehicles are not the only thing patrolling Columbia County, either. Cannondale bicycles have also been put into use. They cost around $1,000 per model. Despite being less intimidating than a vehicle, bicycles allow easier maneuverability in off-road locations. When it comes to purchasing these new additions, the process was the same for both counties. It comes down to a bid process between the local vendors in the area. Once a decision was made for what model to go with, the chosen vehicles were bid

on through four to five different local vendors, and the lowest bidder won. Fairway Ford and Bobby Jones Ford were among the vendors purchased from. Columbia County has started to become more frugal with the amount of new police vehicles added than they have in the past. “In the past it could be from 60 to 70 [purchased vehicles], but in the last few years, due to the economic downturn, the department has been good about keeping them a little longer and now we average about 30,” Tucker said. According to the Columbia County Fleet Replacement Program, patrol vehicles are not checked for replacement until they reach either 125,000 miles or 6,000 hours of drive time. From the 2009-2012, the amount of Sheriff Department replaced vehicles in Columbia County dropped from 37 to 19 per year. “For the last three years we have adjusted to making the cars last on the road longer,” Tucker said. Once purchased, each new unit is installed with police equipment and extras. These range from the light

package — police lights on top of the car — to a radio system, computer mounts and computers. “We are a digital agency. Each car has to be outfitted with a computer,” said Gay. With the exception of radar, most of the vehicles are all installed with the same devices. 13DECEMBER2012


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Traffic patrol vehicles are usually the only unit with a radar system installed, said Morris. Richmond County decided it would be easier to purchase the vehicles to be ready and stocked upon delivery. “We found it to be cheaper to have it delivered turn-in-key, already equipped,” said Gay. 13DECEMBER2012

FREE! Any old unused vehicles needing replacement do not go to waste. “[Old vehicles] in surplus are sold in auction,” said Morris. Although it may be hard to recognize the new models that are still fresh to the streets, the flashing lights in your rearview mirror should be an easy giveaway.

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Movin’ on Up

New construction at Plant Vogtle starting to rise out of the ground Reactors 1 and 2

Unit 3 Turbine Building Island

According to Mark Rauckhorst, the vice president of construction for the first two new nuclear reactors to be built in the U.S. in 30 years, 2013 will be a very big year for Plant Vogtle. Big in a vertical sense. “We’re coming out of the ground,” he said. Up until now, nearly all of the massive construction effort, which began with earth moving work in 2009, has been below ground. But with the first X brace on the Unit 3 cooling tower, which was placed upright on Friday, December 7, the project is starting to get a skyline. “The landscape of this whole site is going to change drastically in the next 12 months,” Rauckhorst said. Though the Unit 3 cooling tower is currently 40 percent complete, it’s all been below ground. While admitting to being slightly behind schedule, Rauckhorst said the delays were to be expected in such a large, ambitious project. “This is a large construction project, and there will always be things that will go on and off of the overall project’s critical path,” he said. “What was on critical path 14 or 15 months ago is different today — that’s just how these projects unfold.” Particularly exciting for everyone involved in the project is the fact that the plant, which will become the nation’s largest nuclear power plant, is about ready to receive the reactor vessel. “That is a huge, huge milestone for this industry,” he said. When you think about the nuclear industry and what we are trying to reestablish in this nation, having a reactor 12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

vessel that’s gone through all of its testing and is ready to be received on site — that is a big deal.” For security reasons, Rauckhorst would only say that it had already passed through the Panama Canal. The two new Vogtle reactors are the first nuclear reactors authorized for construction since the year before the accident at the Three Mile Island plant in 1979.The construction process has changed significantly in the last 30 years, ushering in a kind of uniformity to all new reactors. “One of the issues in the 1970s and 1980s was that the process was just not as streamlined,” said Mark Williams with Georgia Power media relations. “The way I’ve had it explained to me is that you could build something and then you would go to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) and ask them to bless it, and if the NRC came in and said no — that’s not how it should be built, then you had to go back and start over. This process — everything is certified and designed the same way, so we know when we’re building it that we’re building it to a certain spec that’s already been approved and already been okayed.”

With the addition of the two new reactors, set to be operational in 2016 and 2017, Plant Vogtle will be the only four-unit site in the United States, and already its economic importance is being felt. Approximately 2,500 people are employed in the construction of the new reactors, and about 300 have already been hired for the operational side. The physical size of the project is tough to understand as well. The entire site is on 3,200 acres along the Savannah River in Burke County. The iconic cooling towers, which are separate from the self-contained nuclear process, are nearly 550 feet tall, and the crane built for most of the big lifts for both units sits on a circular track as big as a football field. It’s powered by four diesel engines and its counterweight, required to keep the crane from toppling over, is located in the ground itself. One of the most dramatic phases of construction, the pouring of the concrete for the containment buildings, will be accomplished in a 54-hour continuous pour. 13DECEMBER2012


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Medal honoring Chicago hero turns up in Augusta… over 100 years As medals go, it’s about standard — just about the right size to pin on a chest full of other commendations — but size is about the only thing standard about the Chicago Fire Department medal at Friedman’s Jewelers. Bought for its gold value, it quickly became apparent that it had historic value beyond its gold and diamonds. So the medal was sent to Friedman’s cleaning technicians to be detailed. There, they discovered a tantalizing bit of its history — it was given to a Captain Pearson for valor during the Union Stockyards Fire of 1910. Though far less famous than the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, which killed more than 300 people and left over 100,000 people homeless, the Union Stockyards Fire claimed the lives of 21 firefighters. Not until the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, were more U.S. firefighters killed in a single disaster. Early in the morning of December 22, 1910, sparking wires started a fire in one of the warehouses at the stockyards. Firefighters driving horse-drawn steam engines rushed to the scene, and soon they were fighting the fire in the brutal, 24-degree temperatures. The blaze quickly grew out of control, however, and once the men made their way into the windowless, eight-story building, the unthinkable occurred. A brick wall buckled, then collapsed, falling onto the firefighters, most of whom had congregated on a loading dock. Though little is known about Captain Pearson or the medal that was given to him, one thing is for certain — the medal is a work of art, complete with hinges, diamonds and powerful engraving. Though finds as exceptional as this one are rare, they nevertheless keep the staff at Friedman’s on their toes.




LO AND BEHOLD! By Steven E. Atwood / Edited by Will Shortz

39 City on the Little Cuyahoga 40 Clear, in a way 42 Italian port on the Tyrrhenian Sea 43 Attic’s purpose 47 Sport involving paddles 48 Olive ___ 49 Grazing area 50 “Wise” one 51 Patronized, as a restaurant 55 Fr. title 56 Unyielding 57 Lunatics’ outbursts 60 Denver-to-Albuquerque dir. 61 ___ Paulo 62 Quaker cereal 63 Contents of jewel cases 65 Ones going through channels? 67 Fencing unit? 68 “Vive ___!” 69 Kind of personality Down 70 Up to, briefly 1 Loan figs. 71 Brian of ambient music 2 Nuuanu Pali Lookout locale 3 Grp. that has held summit meetings 72 Big maker of 65-Down 74 Permeate in Caracas and Riyadh 75 Jewelry chain 4 Paul Bunyan, e.g. 76 Turn inside out 5 Used a FedEx Office service 80 Separate out 6 Actress Woodard 83 Braves’ div. 7 Actress Vardalos 84 High-performance cars 8 Source of northern exposure? 85 Bond girl Adams 9 Belarus neighbor 86 Given enough to be happy 10 Old minelayers 88 Out around midday, say 11 Critic Clive 89 Emphasize 12 Quarantine 90 Some car radio buttons 13 Composer Salieri 14 1957 #1 R&B hit for Chuck Willis 94 B-baller 95 Small rented farms, in Britain 15 Or or nor: Abbr. 96 Keep out of sight 16 “Let ___ good unto all men”: 97 High, in a way Galatians 6:10 98 Pay for a hand 17 Suffice 101 Terra ___ 18 Salinger girl 102 “Aristotle Contemplating ___ of 22 Like superhighways Homer” 24 Actress Lena 103 Certain bra specification 30 Counter orders 104 Legal scholar Guinier 32 To the same extent 105 Quaintly antique 33 SeaWorld attraction 106 German quaff 34 Offshore bank, e.g., for tax 109 Actress Lupino and others purposes 110 Undercover agent 35 Normandy campaign city 111 Bits and pieces, e.g.: Abbr. 36 Writer Fleming 114 “That’s it!” 37 Writer Wallace 115 Roofing material 38 11th-century king of Denmark 98 “Don’t be ___” 99 Caught in ___ 100 Thick skin 101 Prop for Mr. Monopoly or Mr. Peanut 103 Paintball weapons? 107 Voluminous ref. 108 Comes by 112 Salsa specification 113 When there might be a two-forone special on ice cream drinks? 116 Beat in a price war 117 Props for Mr. Monopoly and Mr. Peanut 118 Make 119 Building support 120 Some printers 121 Curse 122 Mil. awards




































58 63



99 106








84 88

















64 68












35 42
























































Across 1 [It’s gone!] 5 A pop group might have one on Facebook 12 Pouch 15 64 or 1,000 19 Head of a family 20 Woodcutter of legend 21 Rings 23 Consideration in choosing a deli? 25 Without rhyme or reason 26 Baby pig, e.g. 27 Name part meaning “from” 28 Part of a butcher’s stand-up routine? 29 Camouflage 30 Sharpness 31 French wave 32 Pallid 35 Laundry basket of just colors or just whites? 41 ___-Pei (dog breed) 42 Reqmt. for certain graduate studies 44 Get an ___ effort 45 Actress Sommer 46 Wise lawmaker most likely to be re-elected? 51 Miniature 52 Protestant denom. 53 Anthony Eden, Earl of ___ 54 Red-berried tree 55 French spouse 58 Rock’s ___ Fighters 59 Seeks, as office 61 Artistic expression on the slopes? 64 Levels 66 Thrust upward 67 Causing Election Day delays? 73 Car category 77 Skin growth 78 Negatives 79 Time ___ 80 Mideast capital 81 Dallas player, for short 82 Jungle critter 84 Chart indicating the progression of darkness after sunset? 87 Disturb 88 Sched. listing 91 Eve preceders 92 Boy: Lat. 93 Power in Hollywood?


















Technology incubators in Augusta become reality Over the past couple of years, we’ve heard a great deal from community leaders about technology incubators and such. Most of it has been just talk. I guess our so-called leaders haven’t been able to figure out if they have the political capital to follow through. Fortunately, in a free society, all it takes is an individual with a dream to make something happen. Eric Parker is such an individual. “The last two years of my life has been spent pursuing a dream of revitalizing downtown Augusta through the creation of a very broadly encompassing coworking space, inventor’s workshop, education center and think tank,” he said. “Together with the help of a great many contributors from our community, we are making that dream a reality at” opened its doors last Friday. At the beginning level, is a place where like-minded technologists can get together and share ideas. The area provides resources, either natively or through other members, not typically found outside commercial environments. Whether drafting, prototyping or other R&D, accelerates the transition from conceptions to delivery. Eric likes to think of the space as Leonardo Da Vinci’s Inventors Workshop re-imagined for the 21st century. Watch the website for technology events at And stop by anytime! (816 Broad Street, across of Augusta Common.) Tech Gifts — Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t sense the same frenzy for tech gadgets as we’ve seen in years past. Don’t get me wrong… they are out there, no doubt. The Wii U looks to be a nice follow-on to the Wii. There’s the iPad mini along with 23 other versions of tablets. But there is nothing that really redefines the market… nothing that I can point to and say, “That changes everything.” So here’s what I suggest… Bluetooth speakers. As we all know, the native speakers on

mobile devices are horrible. At best, they perform as a lousy speakerphone. You can’t blame the manufacture… speakers which produce good acoustics require a little bit of space, and mobile device makers aren’t yet interested in trading battery life for sound quality. External speakers connected via Bluetooth are designed to provide that hi-fi boost. Yes, I know… Bluetooth speakers have been around forever. But they’ve always been overshadowed by the sexier gadgets. So crank up Spotify, and make 2012 the year of the external speaker! Not buying it? I knew it would be a tough sell. How about trying one of these niche products? GPS Pet Tracker — Never lose your puppy again with Tagg — The Pet Tracker. The system uses GPS and wireless technology to track your pet’s location. Receive a text alert when the breakout occurs and track the fugitive on your iPhone. While not explicitly stated, it appears to be suitable for use on children under 14. Available at the Apple Store for $99.95. Key Chain Finder — Wherever you go, two items that you must keep close are your keys and your phone. The ZOMM Wireless Leash now keeps a connection between the two. Put the ZOMM dongle on your keys and create the Bluetooth connection with your phone. If your phone and keys ever get separated, an alert will sound. Never leave your girlfriend’s place without your phone again! Available on for $46. Retro Handset — This one is for the older folks that never quite got used to talking on a cell phone. The Yoyo Bluetooth Retro Handset is an “old-school” telephone handset that connects to your cell phone via Bluetooth. Add a bit of comfort to your calls. Also, with a shrug of your shoulder, you can go hands free the old fashioned way! Available on Amazon for $26.90 (bargain!). Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

A Spa Gift Certificate 706.364.7347

Salon & Spa 706.651.0202

georgia therapeutic massage 7013 Evans town center Blvd. Suite 201 | Evans


All Georgia Licensed Massage Therapists 13DECEMBER2012



Gathering Storm

Sentinel Probation faces an onslaught of cases threatening its stranglehold on probation services and questioning the legitimacy of its existence Jack Long

“The court should not encourage loan sharking.” The cases against Sentinel Probation Services are quickly piling up, and they could prove extremely costly for the private probation company, which operates in both Richmond and Columbia counties. Not only is Sentinel in the crosshairs of a lawsuit looking to find private probation unconstitutional, but several suits are also claiming that Sentinel does not have the proper authority to operate in Columbia County. A class action suit was filed in Columbia County Superior Court on November 20 requesting that all funds collected by Sentinel during the years it was operating without a contract be returned to members of the class action together with interest and attorney’s fees. The plaintiff in that case, Jacob Martin Glover, was sentenced on February 22, 2012, to a misdemeanor charge of theft by taking. He was fined $200 and required to pay various other fees as well as a $39 monthly probation fee. The suit alleges that because Sentinel does not have a contract with the chief judge of the Superior Court of Columbia County that has been approved by the Columbia County Board of Commissioners, the probation fees charged by Sentinel should be refunded. Georgia code requires such a contract for the privatization of probation services. Without the contract, the suit alleges Sentinel has no authority to operate as a probation company in Columbia County, and hasn’t since 2006. Since a controversial move by the legislature in 2000, Georgia law allows local jurisdictions the option of either contracting with a private probation company or handling misdemeanor probation service themselves. 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Felonies are automatically assigned to state probation officers who are generally highly regarded for their professionalism, their attention to detail and their understanding of the law. The same cannot be said for Sentinel, however, which is almost universally regarded with disdain — and not just by those stuck in the system, which penalizes those who don’t have the money to pay off their fines by prolonging the pay off, therefore increasing the number of monthly fee payments that go to Sentinel. Because private probation companies are for-profit businesses that make their money from charging fees for services — they call them offender-funded programs — critics maintain that there is no incentive for Sentinel to run a transparent, ethical operation. In fact, the opposite seems to be true. In the case of Pamela Tennille, filed December 7, Sentinel allegedly added drug testing fees that were not part of the sentence, which then allowed them to charge more fees, resulting in the revocation of Tennille’s probation. She was arrested, released, then told to report to Sentinel the next day or risk another arrest warrant. Attorney Jack Long, who represents both Tennille and Glover, contends that because Sentinel is not properly

Automated “Probation Officer” contracted, it is not authorized to pursue Tennille or have her locked up. Because of that, and because of Tennille’s fear that she could be arrested again for not appearing on December 6, Long submitted a consent order to Judge Danny Craig, who has been assigned all related cases against Sentinel, to prevent Sentinel from issuing any warrants or orders regarding her pending sentence. According to Long, Craig did him one better. He not only drafted the consent order preventing Sentinel from contacting Tennille, he suggested that a referee be appointed to approve the issuance or execution of any misdemeanor probation warrant coming out of the Superior Court of Columbia County. If approved the way Long drafted it, the move would mean an individual, independent review of each misdemeanor probation warrant coming out of the county. At press time, Craig had not yet issued a ruling. With the hundreds of probation revocation warrants 13DECEMBER2012


Sentinel has caused to be issued, that is a lucrative pipeline in serious jeopardy of drying up. It could also relieve taxpayers of the cost of jailing these offenders. The cost of that taxpayer burden is clear in the case of Willie James Gilyard, who concluded his probation in 2008. Despite completing his probation, he was arrested and jailed in July 2010 because he did not report to the Sentinel office in December 2009. The day after he was arrested, Gilyard suffered a medical emergency and was taken to the hospital. Once incarcerated, health issues are paid for by the taxpayers. In Gilyard’s case, he was arrested again on September 15 and was held until October 25. At a cost of nearly $50 a day, that jail time adds up. In previous cases against Sentinel, Long has also introduced information showing that Sentinel employees receive bonuses on the company’s profitability, meaning that the scales of justice for those in the system are not fairly balanced. “The court should not encourage loan sharking,” Long said. On Tuesday, December 12, Long filed another complaint against Sentinel on behalf of Brandon Tyler Osborn, who pled guilty to misdemeanor theft by shoplifting on June 1, 2011 and received a fine and a year of unsupervised probation. Despite the fact that the term of probation had expired on June 1, 2012, Sentinel signed a petition for modification/revocation of probation on September 18, 2012 and filed it in Columbia County Superior Court on October 9. “They put him on a year’s probation, and that was up,” Long said. “And once his year’s probation is up, that’s it. They can sue you civilly, but they can not enforce it through the criminal process.” Though Craig has not yet established the parameters of the class action lawsuit, Long said those who were jailed because of warrants issued by Sentinel will not be part of the suit. “If [the warrants] have been executed and people come to us, we will probably file individual suits on their behalf,” Long said. The theory behind that is that somebody who’s been arrested has suffered a loss of liberty and damages above the simple loss of money experienced by those who paid their supervision fees but were not jailed. In spite of his zeal against the Sentinel operation, Long said he didn’t want to be too hard on the Superior Court judges, who mostly deal with felony cases and are perhaps mistakenly giving the Sentinel agents the same latitude they give the state agents. “They are used to dealing with state probation people, who are absolutely professional,” he said. “A state probation person would not present an order to any

Inside Sentinel judge if the probation had expired.” Long thinks having former D.A. Craig hear his cases is potentially a good thing. “There are a lot of people in society that need to be in jail,” he said. “Having a former district attorney who’s a judge is probably good. Danny has seen a lot of crime and he’s able to look at it in perspective.” In other words, he is uniquely able to evaluate the cost and importance of jailing someone who is a threat to society versus someone who is simply too poor to be able to pay off his or her probation fees. Given the long list of people who have suffered during the time Long alleges Sentinel has been operating in Columbia County without proper authority, Sentinel could be looking at some serious financial trouble in the near future. “How many cases will be filed against Sentinel?” Long asked. “One hundred? Two hundred? I don’t know.”








“The Five,” Ester Melton and T’is the Season exhibitions show at the Aiken Center for the Arts through Friday, Dec. 28. Call 803-641-9094 or visit Lillie Morris, Lucy Weigle and Judy Avrett Exhibition shows at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through Friday, Dec. 28. Call 706-826-4700 or visit Annual Doll Exhibition shows through Monday, Dec. 31, at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Free with museum admission. Call 706724-3576 or visit Annual Quilt Exhibition shows through Monday, Dec. 31, at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7243576 or visit “Reflections on Water in American Painting” shows through Sunday, Feb. 10, at the Morris Museum of Art in downtown Augusta. Call 706-724-7501 or visit Tying the Knot, a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, will be on exhibit at the Augusta Museum of History until May 2013. Call 706-722-8454 or visit “Blast From the Past” is a new exhibit currently on display at Augusta Museum of History in downtown Augusta to celebrate the museum’s 75th anniversary. Call 706-722-8454 or visit


U.S. Army Signal Corps Band Holiday Concert to be held at First Baptist Church in Augusta at 7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13. Doors open at 6:30. Free 13DECEMBER2012

Marco Panuccio brings his astounding lyric tenor voice to Covenant Presbyterian Church in an encore of last year’s “Oh Holy Night” performance, which also includes Schubert’s “Ave Maria” and David Foster’s “Thankful.” Aaron Matthew Dixon will accompany him during the performance, which is Tuesday, December 18, at 7:30 p.m. at the church. $20 for adults; $10 for students. Call 706-733-0513. tickets available at First Baptist Church, Navy FCU, Fort Gordon FCU, and the Augusta Metro and Columbia County Chambers of Commerce. Call 706733-2236 or visit

“And on Earth, Peace” to be presented by the Augusta Choral Society at Saint Paul’s Church in downtown Augusta at 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Call 706-826-4713 or visit

Sights and Sounds of Christmas concert will be performed by the Richmond Academy Music Department, at 7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13 in the Richmond Academy theatre in Augusta. Free. Call 706-737-7152, ext. 251.

Lyra Vivace Chamber Orchestra performs at 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15, at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Augusta and at 6 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 16, at Christ Church Presbyterian in Evans. Call 706-495-4455 or visit

Carolina Brass Christmas Pops concert will be held at the URS Center for the Performing Arts in Aiken at 8 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13. Adults $35, students with valid I.D. $15. Call 803-648-1438 or visit Gavin Reilly performs live music at The Stables Restaurant at Rose Hill Estate in Aiken from 7-10 p.m., Friday, Dec. 14. Call 803-648-1181. St. Teresa of Avila Christmas Choir Concert will be held 7 p.m., Friday, Dec. 14, at St. Teresa of Avila Catholic Church in Grovetown. Call 706-863-4956. POPS! At the Bell Season Preview featuring Joe Gransden trumpet & Trio will be presented by the Augusta Symphony Orchestra at 7:30 p.m., Friday, Dec. 14, at the Bell Auditorium. $40, $80 and $150. Call 706-826-4705 or visit or Suzy Bogguss performs 7:30 p.m., Friday, Dec. 14, at the Imperial Theatre in as part of the Morris Museum of Art’s Southern Soul & Song series. $13-$17. Call 706-722-8341 or visit or Jennifer Bassett Piano Recital presented by the Aiken County Historical Museum at 10 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Free. Call 803-642-2015 or visit

December Pops Concert, presented by the Aiken Symphony Guild, is Saturday, Dec. 15, at 8 p.m. at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. $40, adults; $7, students. Call 803-641-3305 or visit Kiokee String Quintet performs at 11 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 16, at Aiken First Presbyterian Church featuring “The Messiah.” Call 803-648-2662. Magellan String Quartet performs at 4:40 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 16, at Reid Memorial Presbyterian Church. Call 706-733-2275. A Night of Christmas will be presented by Dayz To Come and guest singers at 6 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 16, at Living Waters Full Gospel Church in Augusta. The concert will feature Christmas jazz, bluegrass and Christmas songs. Free. Donations accepted for the Wilkerson Adoption Project. Call 706860-0441 or visit Keyboard Ensemble Recital: The Music of Claude Debussy will be presented the Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre at 7:30 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 16. Free. Call 706-737-1453 or visit O Holy Night: A Evening of Holiday Song presented by Marco Panuccio will be presented at Covenant Presbyterian Church at 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 18. Adults $20, students $10. Call 706-733-0513. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989



Christmas With John Berry will be presented at the Imperial Theatre Thursday, Dec. 20. Call 706-7228341 or visit The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-3644069 or visit


Book club meets at the Maxwell Branch Library each Thursday at 10 a.m., with a special holiday meet and greet Thursday, Dec. 13. Call 706-793-2020 or visit Author Wanda R. Seals will announce the release of her book, “A Balanced Body: Mind, Body & Spirit,� 10 a.m.noon, Saturday, Dec. 15, at New Life Natural Foods in Augusta. Call 706-550-7710. Book Club at the Harlem Branch Library meets 4 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 20 to hold their selection party for the next year. Pre-registration required. Call 706-5569795 or visit Poetry and spoken word open mic held at M.A.D. Studios every Thursday in December except Dec. 27. $3. Call 706-836-5683 or visit Submission deadline for “Quickies,� Le Chat Noir Theatre’s short play festival, is Dec. 31. The theater is seeking original scripts by CSRA authors. Email scripts and a cover sheet with contact information to info@ Visit Poetry Matters is accepting entries through March 23 for their annual poetry contest. Cash prizes will be given out. Categories are middle and high school, adults, and seniors. Visit


“Misconception: The Lost Gospel of Christmas,� a musical comedy by local writers/performers Mark Swanson, Doug Joiner and Krys Bailey, will show at Le Chat Noir at 8 p.m., Thursday-Saturday, Dec. 13-15. $30. Call 706-722-3322 or visit “Little Mermaid, Jr.� will be presented by Musical Theatre Workshops at Greenbrier High School at 2 p.m. and 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 15. Adults, $10; students, $5. Call 706-650-6040 or visit


“A Charlie Brown Christmas� will be shown at the Harlem Branch Library at 4 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 18. Participants will be making a Christmas craft after the movie. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-9795 or visit

Come in for a tour TODAY!

“A Charlie Brown Christmas� will be shown at the Euchee Creek Branch Library at 5:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 18. Pre-registration is required. Call 706-5560594 or visit “Sleepwalk With Me� will be shown at 6:30 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 18, at the Headquarters Branch Library as part of the Tuesday Movies series. Call 706-8212600 or visit



School’s Out Movie Matinee will be held at the Friedman Branch Library at 2:30 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 20. Free. Title to be announced. Call 706-736-6758 or visit School’s Out Movies, featuring double features, will be held at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library at 2 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 20 and 27. Bring your own snacks. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit

Special Events

Sand Hills Christmas Party is Thursday, Dec. 13, from 5:30-7 p.m. at Sand Hills Community Center. Call 706842-1912 or visit Henry H. Brigham Center Visit with Santa, which

includes pictures, a bike raffle and refreshments, is Friday, Dec. 14, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Henry H. Brigham Community Center. Free. Call 706-771-2655 or visit Christmas Cancelled: A Special Civil War Holiday Experience will be held at Redcliffe Plantation State Historic Site from 4-6 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Live musicians and local actors bring alive the holiday experience of free and enslaved families during the Civil War. There will be tours of historic slave quarters and decorated historic mansion, music, dramatic readings and games. Adults $10, S.C. seniors and ages 6-16 $8, age 5 and younger free. Call 803-8271473 or visit Bethlehem Village, an interactive re-creation, will be presented by Martinez United Methodist Church in Augusta from 6-8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15, and Sunday, Dec. 16. Call 706-860-9385. Columbia County Snow Festival is Sunday, Dec. 16, from noon-6 p.m. at Evans Towne Center Park and includes live music, arts and crafts, a winter wonderland, inflatables and more. $5 admission benefits Golden Harvest Food Bank; kids 5 and under get in free. Call 706-854-8636 or visit Christmas Music and Santa Visit Special Event is Monday, Dec. 17, from 7-8 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held from 4:30-6:30 p.m. each Friday, and from 1-6 p.m. each Saturday. Call 706-922-9463 or visit Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 2 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends. $2, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Visit Christmas in Hopelands will be held in Aiken 6-9:30 p.m., Dec. 13-23, 26-27. Free; donations accepted. Call 803-642-7631. Lights of the South, located off the I-20 Appling/ Harlem exit past Grovetown traveling West from Augusta (Exit 183), is open daily from 6-10 p.m., Dec. 1-30. It features more than five million lights in a 100-acre forest, as well as food, sweets, beverages, hayrides, walking trails, a Christmas train, a Christmas Tree maze and more. Call 706-825-6441 or visit


Car Seat Class will be held 5:45-8 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13, at the Safe Kids Office in Augusta. $10. Financial assistance available to Medicaid and Peach Care eligible families. Call 706-721-7606 or visit For appointment at the Martinez location, call 706-860-7763. Bariatric Seminar will be held 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13 and 27, at Doctors Hospital. Focuses on exploring options for medical weight loss. Drs. Michael Blaney and Darren Glass will speak. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit Babies, Bumps and Bruises, a class covering infant safety issues, will be taught 7-9 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13, at Doctors Hospital in Augusta. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit Water Safety Class will be held at the Kroc Center from 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Free and open to the public. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Weight Loss Surgery Seminar will be held at the Columbia County Library in Evans at 7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13. Free. Pre-registration required. Call 706-72113DECEMBER2012



Day Camp

Jan 1-4, 7, 18, 21, 22 | Feb 6, 18-19 | Mar 1, 6, 21-22, 29| Apr 3, 8-12 | May 1, 27

9:00am - 3:00pm

$25.00 | $30.00

5 - 12 yrs

Kroc Tots Activity

Every Friday

9:30am - 10:30am

FREE | $1.00

18 mo. - 5 yrs

Kid’s Night Out

Jan 4 | Feb 1 | Mar 1 | Apr 5 | May 3

6:00pm - 10:00pm

$15.00 | $20.00

2 -12 yrs

Family Movie Night

Jan 25 | Feb 22 | Mar 29 | Apr 26 | May 31

6:00pm - movie end



Babysitting Course

Feb 16 | Apr 13

9:00am - 4:30pm

$50.00 | $60.00


Teen Movie Night

Mar 1

7:00pm - movie end



Cowboy & Princess Party

Mar 2

10:00am - 12:00pm



Junior League’s Kids in the Kitchen

Mar 23

9:00am - 12:00pm



Hip Hop Bunny Drop

Apr 6

10:00am - 1:00pm



Spring Break Camp

Apri 8-12

9:00am - 3:00pm

$25 day / $100 wk | $30 day / $100

5 - 12 yrs

Mother’s Day Breakfast

May 11

10:00am - 12:00pm



Day Camp Students will play games, swim, do arts and crafts, and make wonderful memories while giving parents a chance to go to work without having a break in their schedules.


Kroc Tots Activity Hour Join us every Friday for an action packed play date for mothers and toddlers.

Pottery Kids 101 & 102



7 - 12 yrs

Kid’s Night Out Kids can enjoy swimming, gym play, inflatables, and crafts while parents enjoy a night out. Dinner included.

Winter Sesssion | Jan 7 - March 4 Spring Session | March 18 - May 21 NO CLASSES Masters Week

Pottery Adults 101 & 102




Family Movie Night Join us in our state-of-the-art theater for a family-friendly movie showing. Free and open to the public.

Winter Sesssion | Jan 7 - March 4 Spring Session | March 18 - May 21 NO CLASSES Masters Week

Intro to Painting 101 & 102




Teen Movie Night Join us in our state-of-the-art theater for a teen-specific movie showing. Free and open to the public.

Winter Sesssion | Jan 7 - March 4 Spring Session | March 18 - May 21 NO CLASSES Masters Week

Advanced Painting 102 & 103




Cowboy and Princess Party Dress up like a cowboy or your favorite princess and join us for a Saturday breakfast.

Winter Sesssion | Jan 7 to March 4 Spring Session | March 18 - May 21 NO CLASSES Masters Week

Fundamentals of Digital Photography 101




Junior League’s Kids in the Kitchen This event will empower youth to make healthy lifestyle choices by engaging kids in the preparation of healthy meals.

Winter Sesssion | Jan 7 to March 4 Spring Session | March 18 - May 21 NO CLASSES Masters Week

“Beats Afrique” - World Beat Drum Class 101 & 102




9 - 15 yrs

Hip Hop Bunny Drop Bring your family to celebrate Easter with games, crafts, and easter egg hunts for ages 12 and under. Spring Break Camp Students will play games, swim, do arts and crafts, and make wonderful memories while giving parents a chance to go to work without having a break in their schedules. Mother’s Day Breakfast Make your mother feel appreciated by bringing her to a delicious breakfast at the Kroc Center.

gold:10%off | members: 5%off | non-members: $90 Pottery Kids 101 & 102 Students will expand their clay building skills using hand building, surface treatments, and glazing techniques. Pottery Adults 101 & 102 Students are encouraged to create functional or sculptural pieces in their own individual style. Intro to Painting 101 & 102 Basic principles of design will be used to create masterpieces. Advanced Painting 102 & 103 Discover new ways to perceive and select subject matter and different approaches to painting it. Fundamentals of Digital Photography 101 This class will cover the factors of exposure, shooting modes, white balance, and the auto focus systems of digital cameras. “Beats Afrique” - World Beat Drum Class 101 & 102 If your child has always been attracted to rhythm and drums but you didn’t know how to get started, this is the class!



Theater Classes | Preschool



10% | 5% | $90

Theater Classes | 2nd - 5th



10% | 5% | $105

Theater Classes | 6th - 9th

5:30pm - 6:30pm


10% | 5% | $105

Harry Jacobs Chamber Music Society

Feb 17 | May 23

Theater (Preschool) Preschoolers will learn to express themselves through dramas using familiar childhood and Biblical stories. Theater (2-5th) Create theater using scripts and musc from popular children’s literature. Theater (6-9th) Develop core theater skills using improv, theater games and music. Kroc Music Series presented by Symphony Orchestra Augusta ‡ Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse- Jan 16 ‡ “Basically Beethoven” Kids Day at the Kroc Center- Feb. 23 ‡ Harlem Quartet- Mar 8




Spanish 101



*see below

GED Class




Cooking Demonstration

Feb 27 | May 1

Crafters Night

1st Wed



Kroc Book Club

4th Wed



DANCE Ballet Workshop ages 8+

Winter Sesssion | Jan 7 - March 4 Spring Session | March 18 - May 21 NO CLASSES Masters Week


*see below

Kuumba | Dance Afrique African Dance Classes for Children ages 6-12 yrs

Winter Sesssion | Jan 7 - March 4 Spring Session | March 18 - May 21 NO CLASSES Masters Week

SATURDAYS 1:00pm - 2:00pm

*see below

Kuumba | Dance Afrique African Dance Classes for Teens ages 13-18 yrs

Winter Sesssion | Jan 7 - March 4 Spring Session | March 18 - May 21 NO CLASSES Masters Week

SATURDAYS 2:00pm - 3:00pm


* gold: 10%off | members: 5%off | non-members: $90 Cooking Demonstration Enjoy how-to demonstrations, delicious sampling, and innovative recipes. Spanish 101 Learn basic vocabulary, common phrases, and correct pronunciation skills. GED Class Prepare for the GED free of charge.

* gold:10%off | members: 5%off | non-members: $90

Crafters Night Join us for various arts and crafts.

Ballet Students will begin training in classical ballet for grace, strength, coordination, and self confidence.

Kroc Book Club This group meets monthly to discuss a different book.

Kuumba Kuumba means creativity, and that is what this children’s African Dance class offers!



Guitar Classes


TUESDAYS 4:00pm | 5:00pm 6:00pm | 7:00pm

Guitar Classes

SPRING QUARTER Mar 19 - May 21

TUESDAYS 4:00pm | 5:00pm 6:00pm | 7:00pm

Piano Classes


TUESDAYS 4:00pm | 5:00pm 6:00pm | 7:00pm

Piano Classes

SPRING QUARTER Mar 19 - May 21

TUESDAYS 5:00pm | 6:00pm 7:00pm

Percussion Class



Percussion Class

SPRING QUARTER Mar 19 - May 21


Brass Class (lvl 1-2)



Brass Class (lvl 1-2)

SPRING QUARTER Mar 19 - May 21


ages 7+ gold: 10%off | members: 5%0ff | non-members: $90

ages 7+ gold: 10%off | members: 5%0ff | non-members: $90




Prayer Meeting




Hand Bells




Medicare & You Meet with a Medicare Specialist


2nd Thursday of month

Adult Sunday School




The Alzheimer’s Project

Jan 8 | 2:00pm

TUESDAYS (recurring)

Youth/Young Adults Sunday School



0 -35 yrs

Powertools for Caregivers

Feb 12 - Mar 19 | 3:30pm


Worship Service




Got 30 minutes?

Golden Agers




Prayer Meeting




Jan 28 | 1:00pm Feb 21 | 12:30pm Mar 18 | 1:00pm Apr 25 | 12:30pm May 20 | 1:00pm

Food, Faith & Fitness





Feb 4 - Apr 15 | 10:00am


Home League




Powerful Tools for Caregivers

Feb 12 - Mar 19 | 2:00pm - 3:30pm


Men’s Club




Computer Classes for Seniors











Morning Manna







Home School P.E. | 5 - 12yrs 9:30am - 11:30am


MON - FRI mem|non 706.922.8361

Futsal Division 2

Jan 21 - Apr 29



$50 | $60


Volleyball League

Jan 22 - Apr 30



$40 | $50


Basketball League

Jan 23 - May 1



$50 | $60


Futsal Division 1

Jan 24 - May 2



$50 | $60



Upward Basketball / Cheer

Jan 14 - Mar 25



$87 | $87

6-12 yrs

Drop-in Basketball

7:00pm 1:00pm


Drop-in Pickleball



members FREE



First Time 5K

March (TBA)

5:30pm - 6:15pm 9:00am - 9:45am

$60 | $85


Junior Fitness


5:30pm 9:00am 3:00pm

members only

7-12 yrs

Smart Start for Teens

1st & 3rd Sat of each month

11:00am - 12:30pm

member only

13-15 yrs

Kroc Trotters

Tues & Thurs

5:30pm - 6:30pm

member only


Silver Sneakers

Tues & Fri (weekly)

1:30pm - 2:30pm

$15 yrly



3rd Wed & Sun of the month

Wed | 7:30pm - 8:20pm Sun | 5:00pm - 5:50pm


Saturday Super Stacker

Mar 30

9:30am - 12:00pm

FREE | $5 w/ member

Personal Training | | 706.922.8332


2609 or visit

706-721-3264 or visit

Breastfeeding Class will be held 7-9 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 18, at the Georgia Health Sciences Medical Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit

Weight Loss Support Group will be held 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 20, at Doctors Hospital in Augusta. Call 706-651-4343 or visit

The Benefits of Exercise, a heart and vascular education class, is Wednesday, Dec. 19, at 8:25 and 9:25 a.m., as well as at 1:55 p.m. Free, but preregistration required. Call 706-774-3278 or visit Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; non-members, $3. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706922-9664 or visit Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit

Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit Moms Connection, a weekly support group for new mothers, is held 1-2 p.m., each Tuesday. All moms and babies welcome. Free. call 706-721-9351 or visit Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit

Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets from 11-11:45 a.m. every Thursday at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit

Brain Injury Support Group meets 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13, at NeuroRestorative Georgia. Survivors of stroke, traumatic brain injury, aneurysm and other acquired brain injuries and their families and caregivers are invited to attend. Call 706-829-0370.

Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program is held at 6:30 p.m. every Thursday. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit

PFLAG of Augusta, a support group for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, meets at 7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13, at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Augusta. Visit

Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members $10, non-members $20. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 or visit

ALS Support Group meets Friday, Dec. 14, at the Georgia Health Sciences Medical Office Building in downtown Augusta. Lunch provided. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-2681 or visit

Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Classes, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or MartinezColumbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 or visit


Breast Cancer Support Group will be held 12:30-2 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13, on the first floor of the Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center. Call 706-7214109 or visit Cancer Survivor Support Group meets 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13, at Augusta Oncology Associates at Doctors Hospital in Augusta. Call 706-651-2283 or visit

Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. For more information about meetings, call Gerry Nail at 706-855-8636. Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. For more information, call 706-868-3241 or visit Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. For more information on meetings, as well as for pre-registration, call 706-774-5864 or visit Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support meets for group counseling. For more information, call 706-7245200 or visit


Cancer Share Support Group meets Monday, Dec. 17, at 6 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-774-8308 or visit

Free guided tours of the Aiken County Historical Museum in Aiken at 10 a.m., Thursday, Dec. 13 and 20. Call 803-642-2015 or visit

Prostate Cancer Support Group meets 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 18, at the Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center. Call 706-721-0550 or visit

Computer Boot Camp: Part II will be held from 10 a.m.-3 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13, at the Columbia County Library for those who attended Part I. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit

Spine Education and Support Group meets Tuesday, Dec. 18, from 1-2:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-774-2760 or visit

Intro to Computer Class will be held at the Euchee Creek Branch Library at 10:30 a.m., Thursday, Dec. 13. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit

Total Joint Replacement Class meets Tuesday, Dec. 18, from 1-3 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-7742760 or visit Blood Cancer/BMT Support Group meets 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 19, at the Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center. Call 706-721-9134 or visit Trauma Support Group will be held noon-1 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 19, on the fourth floor of the Georgia Health Sciences Medical Center. Call 706-721-4633 or 13DECEMBER2012

Augusta Downtowners, a Toastmasters chapter, meets at noon on Thursday, Dec. 13, on the basement floor of the Wells Fargo bank in downtown Augusta. Toastmasters is a club that allows you to practice public speaking and leadership skills. Call 706-8284319 or visit Student appreciation and open house will be held at South Wesleyan University in North Augusta, 5 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13. Application fee waived for any prospective student who brings a new, unwrapped toy AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989



to donate to Toys for Tots. Call 803-426-7981 or email Intro to Typing: Part II will be held at the Wallace Branch Library Thursday, Dec. 13, as part of their ongoing computer classes. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit Barriers to Employment, a JobSeekers Workshop, is Friday, Dec. 14, at 3 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit Computerized Greeting Cards class will be held at the Wallace Branch Library Tuesday and Thursday, Dec. 18 and 20, as part of their ongoing computer classes. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit

Put a little

CAJUN in your stocking Monday -Thursday nights One pound of shrimp (fried, grilled or boiled) $9.99

Tuesday night

Crab Legs served with redskin potatoes and mixed green salad $7.99 a pound

Wednesday night

Bone in fried catfish over blue cheese grits and salad $6.99

Basic computer classes will be held at the Columbia County Library on Wednesday, Dec. 19. Microsoft Word will be held from 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m., and Microsoft Excel will be held from 12:30-2:30 p.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit Augusta State’s fall commencement takes place 2 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 20, at the Christenberry Field House. Reception will be at the Maxwell Alumni House. For commencement info, call 706-737-1444. For reception info, call 706-737-1759. Visit Open houses for culinary students will be held by Helms College 9 a.m.-2 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 19, and from 2-6:30 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 20, at their Augusta campus. Visit Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by ASU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit Holiday Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. each Tuesday through Saturday. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit Augusta Museum of History in downtown Augusta is open Thursday-Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday 1-5 p.m. Closed Monday-Wednesday. Adults $4, seniors $3, kids 6-18 $2, children 5 and under free. Call 706-7228454 or visit

*dine in only

Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit


Hand-Warmer Packing Party will be held at Be My Guest Catering in Evans at 9:30 a.m., Tuesday, Dec. 18, to pack and send hand-warmers to the troops in Afghanistan. Call 706-306-3734. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio in downtown Aiken at 10 a.m. each Friday. Participation is free with donation of a personal item to be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from 1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit


The Augusta RiverHawks vs. Columbus starts at 7:35 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13, at the James Brown Arena. $10-$21. Call 706-993-2645 or visit Day-long bird count field trip will be held by the Augusta-Aiken Audubon Society Chapter starting at 7:30 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 15, and they need birdspotters. No experience required. Teams will cover the count circle in Georgia and South Carolina. They will break for lunch at 1 p.m. at Popeyes, and continue the count after lunch. Call 706-793-2788 or visit Christmas Bird Count field trip deadline is Saturday, Dec. 16, to get involved as a bird-spotter with the Monday, Dec. 24, Augusta-Aiken Audubon Society event in Aiken. No experience required. Call 803-6422264 or visit Augusta State Lady Jags basketball team will face Montevallo at the Christenberry Field House in Augusta at 5:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 17. Call 706-731-7925 or visit Augusta State Jaguars will face Montevallo at the Christenberry Field House in Augusta at 7:30 p.m., Monday, Dec. 17. Call 706-731-7925 or visit Augusta State Jaguars will face Lincoln Memorial at the James Brown Arena in downtown Augusta, 6 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 19. Call 706-731-7925 or visit Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or visit Zumba Sentao and Zumba classes meet every Monday and Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. at the Aiken County Recreation Center on Jefferson Davis Highway in Graniteville, S.C. $6 per class, with coupons available. Call 706-627-1767.

Christmas bike and toy giveaway to be held at Mount Carmel Baptist Church in Augusta at 9 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Free. Call 706-828-3693. Let Me Help food drive will be held by the U.S.S. Star League Star Trek fan club, Saturday, Dec. 15, from 10:30 a.m.-8 p.m. at the Regal 20 Cinema. Call 706267-7016 or visit

Augusta Canal Interpretive Center and Petersburg boat tours winter schedule runs through March 31 and is as follows: The Center is open from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Hour-long Petersburg boat canal tours depart at


375 Fury’s Ferry Rd. next to Earth Fare · 706.855.5111

Carolina Christmas will be held in support of Toys for Tots Foundation in Clearwater, S.C. at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. $15. Call 803-474-2411.

Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit

Historic Trolley Tours of Augusta offered by Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m. each Saturday. Call 706-722-8454 or visit

French Market Grille West

Salon at Surrey Grand Opening Celebration is Saturday, Dec. 15, from 6-8 p.m. and includes music, beverages, food and a silent auction to benefit the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Call 706-364-1969 or visit



11:30 a.m., 1:30 and 3 p.m. Admission to Center is $6, or free with $12.50 boat tour ticket. Seniors 65+, active military/dependent and students (age 4-grade12 or with valid college I.D.) are $2. One child under 3 per ticketed adult may get in free. Closed Christmas Day and New Year’s Day. Call 706823-0440, ext. 4. Groups call ext. 7. Visit The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee $5; ace pool $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706724-6777 or visit Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, firstserved basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit


Swamp Saturday is held at Phinizy Swamp in Augusta the first Saturday of every month at 9:30 a.m. Excursions feature free hikes of 1 ½ hour, 2 ½ miles through the park’s wetlands and over scenic hills. Groups can call in advance at 706-828-2109. Zumba with Sohailla is held every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1:30-3:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members $35 a month; non-members $50 a month. Pre-registration required. Visit


“Santa’s Noisy Christmas,” a storybook Christmas play, will be presented at the Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m., Thursday and Friday, Dec. 13-14. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit “Holidays of the World With Mr. Bill,” featuring songs and stories with Mr. Bill and his guitar, George, will be held at the Friedman Branch Library from 10-10:45 a.m., Thursday, Dec. 13. Groups of six or more must register in advance. Call 706-736-6758 or visit Santa’s Workshop Drop-In Craft Extravaganza will be held by the Columbia County Library from 4-6 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 13. Make Christmas gifts, and have a warm drink and a snack. All ages welcome. Call 706-863-1946 or visit Lego Club for those in grades K-5 meets Thursday, Dec. 13, from 4-5 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit Freedom Friday will be held at the Family Y of Augusta South from 6-9:30

p.m., Friday, Dec. 14. Kids age 8 weeks to 12 years can have fun at the Y while parents enjoy some freedom. Free for active duty military families. Pre-registration required. Visit the Breakfast with Santa will be held at the Kroc Center at 9 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Kids can get a picture and eat breakfast with Santa, buffet-style. $5. Free for ages 2 and younger. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Amerigroup Winter Wonderland will be held at May Park Community Center at 10 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 15, with toys, inflatables, refreshments, games, and other entertainment. Free. Call 800-600-4441. DoNut & Milk With Santa will be held at the Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m., with pictures taken with Santa from 10:30-11 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit Polar Express Breakfast for kids is Saturday, Dec. 15, at 10:15 a.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit Decorating a Gingerbread House with Shirley Christie will be held at the Headquarters Branch Library at 2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit Wii Gaming for ages 7-11 will be held at the Columbia County Library at 2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Tournament games are decided at the free-play sessions. Call 706-447-7664 or visit The Best Gifts Are Inexpensive, a craft session to teach kids age 11-17 how to make gifts, will be held in the library’s YA Room of the Headquarters Branch Library at 2 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Bring the gifts to the Wrap Party the following week. Pre-registration required. Call 706821-2600 or visit “Arthur Christmas” shows at the Aiken Public Library Saturday, Dec. 15, at 2 p.m. Call 803-642-2023 or visit Parents’ Night Out will be held at the Family Y of Aiken County from 5:30-9 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Kids age 2-12 can have a fun night out. Members $12; non-members $20. There is a discount for additional siblings. Financial assistance available for all Family Y programs. Register at any Family Y location or online at




‘Tis the Season shows at 6, 7 and 8 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15 and 7 and 8 p.m., Dec. 17, at USC-Aiken’s DuPont Planetarium. Weather permitting, the observatory housing the Bechtel telescope will be open for viewing after each show. Adults $4.50; seniors $3.50; grades 4K-12 $2.50; USC-A faculty, staff and students $1. Call 803-641-3654 or visit

Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. through Dec. 18 at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-772-2432 or visit

Story Time Special featuring Mrs. Claus will be held at the Appleby Branch Library at 11 a.m., Tuesday, Dec. 18. Call 706-736-6244 or visit

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit

Anyone Can Dance and Cook Camp will be presented by Augusta Ballet, for kids age 6-12, at the Jessye Norman School of the Arts, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., either Monday-Wednesday, Dec. 17-19, or Wednesday-Friday, Dec. 19-21. $50. Pre-registration required. Visit Winter Crafts Drop-In will be held at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library from 2-4 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 19. Make and take different winter-themed crafts. All ages welcome. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit Holiday Craft Workshop will be held at the Appleby Branch Library at 11 a.m., Thursday, Dec. 20, for ages 3-5. Bring glue and crayons or markers. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit Gingerbread Wars kids program is Thursday, Dec. 20, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-6422023 or visit All Aboard the Christmas Express, a kids storytime and activity, is Thursday, Dec. 20, at 7 p.m. at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or visit Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m., Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m., Wednesdays, for all ages. , call 706-863-1946 or visit Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday-Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit Mother’s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for non-members. Register at any Family Y or visit Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit 30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit

Lap-Sit Story Time, for children under two, is every Tuesday at the Columbia County Library at 11 a.m. Story time for two-year-olds is every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. and for preschoolers at 11 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736-6244. Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for Pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803613-0484. Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854-0149 or visit Kroc Tots Activity Hour, for those 5 and under, meets every Friday from 9-10 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit 13DECEMBER2012


Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit

Carolina Christmas concert to be held at 7 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15, in Clearwater, S.C., in support of the Toys for Tots Foundation. $15. Call 803-474-2411.

Registration for the next session of story times at the Columbia County Library is being offered now. Call 706-447-7657 or visit

Christmas Praise Celebration to be held at Young Storm Branch Baptist Church in Warrenville, S.C., at 4 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 16. Free. Call 803-593-8346.


Story time is held at the Warren County Library in Warrenton at 10:30 a.m., Wednesdays. Call 706-465-2656.

Eastview Senior Center Christmas Luncheon is Friday, Dec. 14, from noon-2 p.m. at Eastview Senior Center. No charge for senior adult services members. Call 706-722-2302 or visit


Crafters Night is each Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Simple Cooking Class meets each Monday from 6:308:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Belly Dancing Classes are held Tuesdays at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit

Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit Story time and craft is held at the Burke County Library in Waynesboro at 10:30 a.m., Fridays, for preschoolers. Call 706-554-3277. Story time is held at the Midville Branch Library in Midville at 4:30 p.m., Fridays. Call 478-589-7825. Story time is held at the Sardis Branch Library in Sardis at 3:30 p.m., Fridays. Call 478-569-4866.

The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at North Augusta Church of Christ on W. Martintown Road. Visit

Contra dance class is held each month at the Arsenal Hill Park Building in Columbia, S.C. Next session will be held 6:15-10:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 15. Live music by Corner House. General admission, $8; students with valid I.D., $5. Call 803-760-5581 (Columbia), email or visit


If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic support and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held MondayThursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706-796-5046, email or visit Grits ‘n’ Grins is a group of needleworkers partnering with The Salvation Army of Greater Augusta to donate a variety of handmade baby blanket/hat and hat/scarf sets to be given out as Christmas gifts to newborns up to age 12 through Salvation Army programs. They meet second Saturdays at Panera Bread Co. on Robert C. Daniel Parkway, 8 a.m.-noon, and fourth Thursdays at O’Charley’s on Robert C. Daniel Parkway at 5:30 p.m. All welcome. Beginner materials provided for those who interested in learning to knit, crochet or loom. Call 706-434-3185 or email Kate at or Crystal at cbhathcox@ United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office. Training is provided. Call 803-641-0060 or email Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email volunteerrcsas@ The Greater Augusta Arts Council offers volunteer opportunities for those interested in volunteering for events like Arts in the Heart, First Friday and special concerts, as well as helping in the GAAC office. Call 706-826-4702 or visit Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@


Wreaths Across America Ceremony will be held at Georgia Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Milledgeville at noon, Saturday, Dec. 15. Seven wreaths will be laid to honor those who have served in the armed forces. Free. Call 478-445-3363. 13DECEMBER2012

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Highlight Reel

No matter how much we try, we can’t get everything done. And that’s okay. I hate to say it, because I hate when people say it, but I’m so busy. That’s not to minimize your packed schedule. I know you are too. Holiday prep is still in full force at our house. School activities seem to be ever multiplying. Not to mention (though I guess I’m going to mention it anyway) the fact that everyone is sick right now. I get sick about once a year. When I do, it’s usually not all that bad. Maybe I tend to ignore it, hoping it will just go away without any major incidents. Last week was a different story. I had a fever. My whole body hurt. I called The Man and asked him to come home and help with The Kids. The last time I was too sick to care for a child was the day The Girl was born. I got the stomach bug, which eventually put me into labor, but I couldn’t take care of The Boy. Otherwise, I get sick, rest for a day, and I’m over it. When Amy Christian suggested that I take a day off and not write a column last week, I immediately thought, “No, no. I can do this.” I knew it would be rough, but I didn’t want to skip it altogether. I felt bad about it even. Once I listened to reason (and her insistence), I said, ”Thank you,” and went back to bed. Don’t think there weren’t still moments that day when I considered doing it anyway. Those moments could’ve been prompted by the feverinduced nightmare where Joe White laughs maniacally while rubbing his hands together and announces, “We finally got rid of her!” The truth is, we just can’t do it all. Sometimes we have to say no. Not my strong suit. Anytime I go to a meeting, I have to practically sit on my hands and chant “don’t say yes don’t say yes don’t say yes,” or I will say yes. I truly enjoy most everything I agree to do, but there isn’t enough time to get it all done. I don’t take on nearly as much as some of you, though. There aren’t any Pinterest inspired dinners, homemade Halloween costumes or dinner rolls from scratch in our house. Like you, I wonder if I’m not doing enough with my kids, either in their classrooms or at home. Do my husband and I need a vacation? So and So and Such and Such just got back from one, and they seem so happy. I see that girl always doing kind things for others, volunteering for this organization, or chairing the gala for that club. That family made all of their Christmas gifts this year. How organic.


All of this worry is unnecessary, but maybe I’m afraid appearing inadequate. Steven Furtick (who is apparently a minister in Charlotte), sums it up: “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Wow. Guilty. As. Charged. Because of Facebook, life is nothing but a big fat in-your-face highlight reel. Listen up at the next Christmas party. The highlights include vacations, children’s accomplishments, job promotions and new houses. We don’t mention the little, possibly boring, stuff that happens every day. We do homework and the dishes, piles of leaves are raked and put at the street, and floors are vacuumed. Bo-ring. The highlights stand out, which is clearly why we brag about them. Instead of focusing on the things I can’t get done, I try to really enjoy the things I can. Christmas gives me a good chance to think about it. So many people are stressed about gift buying and “getting it all done” in time. I ask you this: What if it didn’t all get done this year? Does just thinking about it stress you out? There will be things that don’t get done. A few years ago, we stopped saying yes to every holiday party. We limited the monetary size of Christmas in our house. I refuse to be stressed. If I’m that overwhelmed, I must be missing the point. We can’t do it all. We won’t get everything done. My highlight reel may not look as fancy as yours, but I like what’s behind the scenes, too. Getting bogged down is exactly why we miss those scenes. Time to recover from an illness, a chance to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas or time to clean out my filthy car (and LORD, is it filthy). Say no. Spend less. Go behind the scenes. Don’t stay back there forever, though. I happen to enjoy your highlights. Plus, I need help. I can only sit on my hands for so long.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.



Irreverent, Not Sacrilegious


”Misconception” pokes gentle fun at the birth of Christ

Back for a second year, “Misconception: The Lost Gospel of Christmas,” the original musical comedy by Mark Swanson, will be presented at Le Chat Noir this weekend only. You may want to call right now for tickets, because it is selling out fast. The show was so well received last year that Swanson decided to submit his work to several musical theater festivals; the most prestigious of the festivals being The New York Musical Theatre Festival (NYMF). NYMF has been the launching pad for a number of successes in New York and around the world. To date, festival productions have led to further life on Broadway, OffBroadway, regionally (in 44 states) and internationally (in 16 countries). “It’s like the Sundance of musical festivals,” explains Swanson. “We’ll find out if we’re accepted in January, and if we’re accepted I’m going to take the cast up to New York and that’s one of the big reasons we decided to do the show this year, it’s a fundraiser in case that happens.” For anyone who missed out on the show last year, Swanson gives a little background information: “Last year Doug Joiner and Krys Bailey approached me because I had written some music for them down here at Le Chat Noir, and they approached me and asked me if I could write a Christmas musical — and it was about August or so, so I thought, ‘Well, I better get busy,’ and we started throwing around some ideas,” says Swanson. “The idea that I had was that I wanted to approach this in a pretty modern way the whole Immaculate Conception idea.” Uh-oh… “The first thing I thought of was I’ve got a 13-year-old 13DECEMBER2012

daughter. If my 13-year-old daughter came to me, came home from school and said, ‘Daddy, I’m pregnant and God’s the father…’ well, you know what would happen. For one thing, she’d probably be committed if she really believed that and you know, she’d have to deal with her father.” He chuckles and adds, “So, I kind-of took a very realistic view — a more modern view of how Mary would be treated in that situation. I was very careful to keep Mary and Jesus out of the whole play… because it is irreverent, no doubt about that — it’s not sacrilegious, but it is irreverent. The original title before “Misconception,” he said, was “Who’s your Baby Daddy?” “And that’s the first song,” Swanson continues. “It’s the village, the people that live with her, family members asking her, ‘Yeah, OK — who’s the baby daddy?’ Then we decided to change it ‘Misconception: the Lost Gospel of Christmas.’” The subject matter might lead one to wonder how something as sacred as the conception of Jesus would be received by the Augusta community, but audiences loved it last year. “One of the things last year that I was really worried about,” says Swanson, “was how it was going to be perceived here in the belt buckle of the Bible Belt, but it really surprised me. Even my dad, who is a Southern Baptist preacher, and all the other clergymen who came to see the show, they loved it.” “Misconception: The Lost Gospel of Christmas” Le Chat Noir Thursday-Saturday, December 13-15 | 8 p.m. | $30 706-722-3322 | AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989


December 13 13Thursday, Live Music

Ahhhh… it’s that time of year again. Time to haul out the Festivus pole and participate in the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength. It’s also time for the seven-night musical celebration of Festivus at Sky City. Here’s the line-up: Thursday, December 13: Mason Jars, She N She, Acosta, Celia Gary, Happy Bones; Saturday, December 15: The Ramblin’ Fevers, Sibling String, Livingroom Legends, Shoo Fly Pie; Tuesday, December 18: Cameras, Guns & Radios, The Radar Cinema, Jesup Dolly, Panic Manor, Mann Ray; Wednesday, December 19: Fuzzy Sun, Sure Eel, Elephants Gerald, (Improvisational Sessions) December 20: Dr. Bread, MC Ayo K, DJ Cielo, DJ 808, DJ Ben, Doying (Fresh*Sounds); December 21: Funk You, The Reggie Sullivan Band, Young Goodman Brown; and, December 22: The Favors, Shaun Piazza, Brothers, Night People, Eat Lightning, M Tank.

100 Laurens - Open Mic Night w/ Wes French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sky City - Festivus of Bands w/ Mason Jars, She N She, Acosta, Celia Gary, Happy Bones Somewhere in Augusta - Granny’s Gin Soul Bar - Arboles Libres The Willcox - Four Cats in a Doghouse Wild Wing - Tiki Barflys

What’s Tonight?

Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Somewhere in Augusta - Country Line Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke


Friday, December 14 Live Music

100 Laurens - Brent Lundy Bell Auditorium - Holiday Pops w/ Joe Gransden Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Country Club - Ben Wells Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz Fox’s Lair - Chris Hardy French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Imperial Theatre - Suzy Bogguss Joe’s Underground - Keith Gregory MAD Studios - Tim Brantley, Joe Stevenson Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Polo Tavern - Southern Meltdown Sky City - The Whigs, New Madrid Somewhere in Augusta - The Unmentionables Stillwater Tap Room - Waller Surrey Tavern - Stereo Reform Wild Wing - Tony Williams

What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic 34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

December 15 15Saturday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Celia Gary The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Country Club - Outshyne Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band The First Round - Lost in the Middle Iron Horse Bar & Grill - John Berret’s LaRoxes, Skilyr Hicks Joe’s Underground - Jam Samwich Malibu Jack’s - Tony Williams Blues Express P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Jim Fisher Band Sky City - Festivus of Bands w/ The Ramblin’ Fevers, Sibling String, Livingroom Legends, Shoo Fly Pie Somewhere In Augusta - Sibling String Surrey Tavern - Soul Demension Wild Wing - Big B & The Stingers What’s Tonight? Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke with Beth Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

December 16 16Sunday, Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice (brunch) Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio The Willcox - Jon Vaughn (brunch; Preston & Weston (night)

What’s Tonight?

Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

December 17 17Monday, Live Music Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Poker Tournaments Wild Wing - Trivia

December 18 18Tuesday, Live Music

Fox’s Lair - John Fisher/Irish The Highlander - Open Mic Night Joe’s Underground - Happy Bones Sky City - Festivus of Bands w/ Cameras, Guns & Radios, The Radar Cinema, Jesup Dolly, Panic Manor, Mann Ray The Willcox - Piano Jazz Wild Wing - Sabo & Dave The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - DJ Ray Thompkins Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia

December 19 19Wednesday, Live Music

Joe’s Underground - Kathleen Turner Overdrive Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Sky City - Festivus of Bands w/ Fuzzy Sun, Sure Eel, Elephants Gerald, (Improvisational Sessions) Wild Wing - TJ Mimbs Duo



What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - Comedy Zone w/ Tim Pulnik and Michelle Harrington Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey


Brent Lundy - 100 Laurens December 20 Another Lost Year - The First Round December 20 Christmas with John Berry - Imperial Theatre December 20 Jerod Gay - Joe’s Underground December 20 Go Radio - Sector 7G December 20 Festivus of DJs w/ Dr. Bread, MC Ayo K, DJ Cielo, DJ 808, DJ Ben, Doying (Fresh*Sounds) - Sky City December 20 The Joe Stevenson Band - Surrey Tavern December 20 Acosta - Wild Wing December 20 Larry Frick - Country Club December 21 She & She - Fox’s Lair December 21 Robbie Ducey Band - Polo Tavern December 21 The Hollerers - Somewhere In Augusta December 21 Jackaroe - Stillwater Taproom December 21 Festivus of Bands w/ Funk You, The Reggie Sullivan Band, Young Goodman Brown - Sky City December 21 Festivus of Bands w/ The Favors, Shaun Piazza, Brothers, Night People, Eat Lightning, M Tank - Sky City December 22 Will McCranie & Friends - MAD Studios December 27 The Matthews Tribute Band - Surreal at Surrey December 28 My Instant Lunch Reunion Show - Sky City January 5 The Welfare Liners - Stillwater Taproom January 11 Sam Bush - Imperial Theatre January 18 Camper Van Beethoven - Sky City January 23 Jeff Mangum, Tall Firs - Sacred Heart Cultural Center January 28 13DECEMBER2012


Switching It Up

Downtown bars spruce themselves up, and not just for the holidays

After a steady night of bar hopping down Broad Street I ran into a pleasant surprise. No, it wasn’t a nice young lady offering me a ZJ at a discounted price; it was a pretty sweet renovation to a new bar downtown. I’m talking about the bar that’s fit snuggly right behind Metro Coffeehouse, The First Round Bar. Alan, the owner of First Round, is trying to make the bar a legitimate venue. This meant tearing down their old stage and sound booth, and building a new one. The bar has a long way to go before the finishing touches are complete, but it’s always good to see a place making itself bigger and better. With New Year’s Eve only a couple of weeks away, I definitely see the construction crew going full force to bring in 2013 the right way. Another bar downtown is switching it up, this time it’s Stillwater Tap Room. Matt and Barry, owners of Stillwater, aren’t messing with the stage, they’re refining the menu. Stillwater has always been known as a great place for beer on tap, live music and the laid back atmosphere. That tradition will continue by bringing in more diverse beer. Dozens of new craft beer can be found each week, I recommend the Hop Notch IPA, at 7.3 percent, it only takes a few. I’m an alcoholic. To cap off my night of bars, I ended it at one of my old stomping grounds, The Playground. But funny enough, it didn’t look or sound anything like the Playground. It seems Skrillex has taken a residency inside of The Playground. The Transformers would even be intimidated by the sounds that were rumbling out of this place on Friday night. You can’t get mad; they were packed! But for me, the old Playgound may have died a little. No need to fret, my friends; luckily The Playground still has live music every now and again. On Saturday, December 15, The Playground will sound like old when they welcome in False Flag. The 55th Grammy Award nominations are in and I actually got excited when I heard the nominees this year. They didn’t leave out real rock music. I’m referring to the five nominations for the Black Keys, along with singer of the Black Keys, Dan Auerbach, getting another one for producing. The combined six nominations for the Black Keys tie them up with Jay-Z, Frank Ocean, Kanye West, Mumford & Sons and fun. Here are a few highlights: Along with the Keys’ “El Camino,” Coldplay, Muse, Bruce Springsteen and Jack White all are up for Best Rock Album. One of those doesn’t fit there. Best new artist category is always a good one to watch. This year’s nominees are fun, Hunter Hayes (?), The Lumineers, Frank Ocean and, my pick, Alabama Shakes. I do have to say that the best thing the Grammys did this year was leaving Justin Bieber off the ballot. For that, I will watch your program. The full list of this year’s nominees can been seen at Uh oh, look guys, it’s that time of year again! Not Christmas, Festivus! I call dibs on the Feats of Strength. I will bring the Festivus Pole if you guys are prepared for the Airing of Grievances. Sky City celebrates with the Festivus of Bands, seven crazy nights of music. I could try to name them all but I’m only allowed so much space for this article. Everything kicks off tonight, Thursday, the 13, with A Verry Merry Krunkmas Tacky Sweater Party. Enjoy music from Happy Bones, Celia Gary, She N She, Acosta and the Mason Jars, and dress to impress. To get the exact dates and lineup, head to There are great bands playing all over the CSRA for the holidays, check them out right next to this column. What else is going on around Augusta? What bands do you want to see in the New Year? Have you seen Skrillex’s haircut? Email me at

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. 13DECEMBER2012







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Food, Sports and Fun

Carolina Ale House is a great sports pub that wants to make a difference

In the two years since Carolina Ale House opened at the Robert C. Daniel Jr. Parkway shopping area, it has seen many would-be competitors spring up around it. That might worry some, but Carolina Ale House knows it has many unique qualities, qualities that keep customers coming back for more. “We focus on food, sports and fun,” said Sullivan Management District Manager Mark Coleman, who oversees operations at the Augusta outpost of Carolina Ale House. “Those three things I think just define us and really set us apart from the possible pretenders who think they’re a great sports restaurant.” The focus might be on fun, but there’s also another 38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

aspect of Carolina Ale House that makes a difference: community involvement. Almost immediately upon opening, the restaurant known for its draft and bottled beer selection and plethora of TVs on which to watch any sporting event that might be going on anywhere in the world also became known as the place that

wanted to give back. Carolina Ale House has sponsored the local Alzheimer’s walk, participated when “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” came to town, helps Fort Gordon and Harley Davidson with many events. “Pretty much any time someone comes and asks us to 13DECEMBER2012


donate for a cause we do, whether it’s a child in need, whether it’s a family in need,� Coleman explained. “Last year we fed five different families so they could have a Christmas dinner. We’re very philanthropic and want to do our fair share to give back to the community.� Carolina Ale House is especially involved with the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department and the local motorcycle community, so it’s no surprise that they held many fundraisers after Deputy JD Paugh was killed on duty October 23, 2011. In fact, the restaurant recently commemorated the one-year anniversary of Paugh’s death by feeding, for free, any police officer who came in that day in uniform. More than 100 showed up, and Coleman said it was the least they felt they could do. “You know, giving to people is a good thing,� he said. “I believe that it makes people aware that, hey, we’re not only here to make money, we’re also here to build relationships and really become a strong part of the community. Our owner is a fantastic man and our parent company does a tremendous amount of giving as well. It’s just something we believe in very strongly.� One thing, Coleman explained, that helps Carolina Ale House stay involved with the community is the local staff they have running the restaurant. “It’s like Cheers,� he said. “When people come in, Sharla Lamar, who is running the restaurant, she is from the area. She knows everyone and I think that’s a huge hit. And we listen to our customers; that’s a very important thing. Obviously, we’d like to do everything everybody asks us, but there are limitations. But we do listen to them and we do thank them.� But what about the food? After all, that’s why many of Carolina Ale House’s patrons visit. Coleman says that it is in this area that the restaurant sets itself apart from other sports bars. Proteins, for example, are fresh not frozen, desserts and soups are made in house, and popular appetizers such as wings come baked, fried or grilled with a number of sauces and dry rubs. “If you look at our menu, it’s extremely diverse,� he said. “Look at all the choices on our menu, from the appetizers to the salads to the soups that are homemade to the burgers that are 100 percent Angus, to the desserts that are made in house. Even our kids menu has a multitude of items, it’s not just the same one, two, three things.� Along with popular menu items such as the Asian Sesame Grilled Chicken Salad, fried pickles, Philly cheese steak, the Pub Burger, grilled teriyaki salmon, a Meathead flatbread pizza and the Potato Chip Crusted Banana Split Sundae, Carolina Ale House serves up plenty of specials as well. From rotating drink specials and Tuesday nights, when kids eat for .99 to Thursdays, during which active military get 10 percent off, and Sunday-Wednesday food service industry specials. It’s all part of the plan to make dining out at Carolina Ale House not only fun, but affordable. “We all understand that times are tough, the things that are facing society today and things coming down the road,� he said. “And nothing is more important to us than providing value to our guests. When they come here, we want them to know that they’ll get a great meal at a great value with great service in a great environment.� Carolina Ale House 203 Robert C. Daniel Jr. Pkwy., Augusta 11 a.m.-2 a.m. daily 762-333-0019 |




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Michael Johnson

Theresa and Doug Barrow, Grace Ebers and Xerxes Tzolis at the Willie Nelson concert at the Bell Auditorium.

Taylor Haddon, Kristen General, Laura Nichols and Chris Neal at the Willie Nelson concert at the Bell Auditorium.

Mike and Katie Smith with Ashley and Patrick Pearson at the Willie Nelson concert at the Bell Auditorium.


Wendy Poss, Taylor Poss, Jason Herrera and Ashlyn Poss at Wild Wing.

Miriam Bryant, Barbara Temin, Willie Nelson and Martha Goodrich at Nelson’s concert at the Bell Auditorium.

Christopher Black, Bethany Wint, Megan Waters and Tucker Heffernan at the Country Club.


Parker Whitaker, Carleigh Cresswell, Glynn Carter and Grace Barrett at Stillwater Tap Room.

Michael Johnson

Kara Apel, Vicki Graf and Samantha Intihar at the Bee’s Knees.

Bonnie Buff, Sheila Newman, Melissa Plummer and Kristi Newman at Whiskey Bar (Kitchen).


706-855-0068 Locally owned and independently operated franchise A^XZchZY™7dcYZY™>chjgZY 40 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989















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Leading men? Seems most prefer Bond to King Leonidas. RANK




































“Playing for Keeps”


This. Is. Not. Sparta. Or anything else close to being good. “Playing for Keeps,” the perfectly harmless if cloyingly banal semicomedy that just wafted into theaters, has the sort of plot that does not, alas, attract much attention to the screenwriter at rooftop cocktail parties. Aspiring starlet: “And what do you do?” Robbie Fox, screenwriter: “I write the movies.” A.S.: “Oh! Really. What have you written?” Fox: “Well, I wrote ‘So I Married an Axe Murderer.’” A.S.: “Doesn’t ring a bell.” Fox: “It starred Mike Myers? Came out in — oh, 1993. Probably before your time.” A.S.: “No, I was born in 1989, so not quite. Anything more recent?” Fox: “Yeah! OK, yes, it’s, uh, it’s a soccer movie. Basically Gerard Butler, the Spartan king in ‘300,’ that guy, he’s a washed-up soccer star. He’s Scottish but he’s living in Virginia, near his ex-wife, Jessica Biel. They’ve got a 9-year-old son, but the retired athlete, George, has never really been much of a father. So he coaches the kid’s soccer team and tries to fend off all the single soccer moms and then tries to get back together with Jessica Biel before she gets married to a guy with no discernable personality whatsoever.” A.S.: (blank stare) Fox: “It’s a family comedy, but you also get to see Uma Thurman in her underwear. Also George is trying to get a job as a sportscaster. Because he’s broke.” So you’re hooked, right? Because what could go wrong with a movie about watching Gerard Butler run little kids around cones while he waddles through a midlife crisis, weaving in and out of romantic scrapes? As it turns out, plenty. For starters, the guy who six years ago was screaming “Spartans never retreat! Spartans never surrender!” at a pack of bloodthirsty, spearwielding Abercrombie models is now telling a pack of rugrats to bring it in for a chant of “one, two, three, Go Cyclones!” and if you remember listening to Nine Inch Nails’ “Just Like You Imagined” over the trailer for “300,” this is an altogether unforgivable situation. (YouTube it. Seriously.) Even if it’s terribly small-bore, you have to give “Playing for Keeps” this much: It seems earnest in its apparent attempt to sandwich a family drama around the former soccer great and the woman with whom he couldn’t hold it together. Alas that leaves director Gabriele Muccino flinging Butler (b. 1969) in the general


direction of Biel (b. 1982) for most of the film while a cougar brigade that includes Uma (vamping), Catherine Zeta-Jones (panting) and Judy Greer (cringeinducing) fling themselves at Butler. Dennis Quaid also shows up as a greasy high-roller soccer dad, turning in probably the film’s best performance. But even he isn’t funny. No one here is. The basics here are often amiss. The tone’s mottled. The dialogue is rote. Even if you’re not the sort of person who notices cinematography, you’ll find yourself wondering why some key shots are full of the backs of people’s heads. Butler’s clearly trying to balance his age against the types of roles he can expect at his age. (He also has a producer credit in “Playing for Keeps,” so this really is his baby.) It can’t all be “300” and “Machine Gun Preacher” and “RocknRolla” forever, even when you’re 40-something and still have abs like a marimba. You have to show leading-man range. Unfortunately this fellow George, this protagonist, he is something of a noncharacter. He’s a nice guy, and he tries to do the right thing. But there are precisely three phases of life in which a man is at his most vapid. They are: When he tries to get a job doing television news. When he tries to talk his way out of women’s romantic advances. When he tries to talk his way back into the life of his about-tobe-married ex. Alas, Butler is all three in this movie, and at no point does he say anything particularly memorable, interesting or inspiring. This. Is. Not. Sparta.





“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” rated PG-13, starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Andy Serkis, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Elijah Wood, Bret McKenzie, Benedict Cumberbatch. Wow… this prequel to Peter Jackson’s “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy has everyone in it, from BBC’s Sherlock (and rumor has it Benny Batch may be playing Khan in the upcoming “Star Trek Into Darkness,” so he is everywhere) to Bret (pronounced Brit) from “Flight of the Conchords.” Michael Caine’s not dead yet, which begs the question: Why is he not in this one?


“Save the Date,” rated R, starring Lizzy Caplan, Alison Brie, Martin Starr. Another raunchy indie about women’s love lives? It sure looks that way. This one’s about two sisters: one who just turned down her boyfriend’s marriage proposal and the other who’s planning her own wedding. Beware, husbands and boyfriends everywhere!


Good movies that start with the letter Z are few and far between: I mean, how can you choose between “Zombies on Broadway,” “Zookeeper” and “Zebra in the Kitchen”? And that’s not to say that “Zoolander” is any great work of art. But take another look at this 2001 comedy about male models and a diabolical assassination plot, directed by Derek Zoolander himself (Ben Stiller), and you’ll find that it is stupidly funny, not to mention the fact that the number of notable people in it is staggering. It stars Stiller, his wife Christine Tayler, Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell, but also boasts appearances by Milla Jovovich, Jerry Stiller, David Duchovny, Jon Voight, Donald Trump, Christian Slater, Cuba Gooding Jr., Tommy Hilfiger, Natalie Portman, Fabio, Lenny Kravitz, Gwen Stefani and Heidi Klum. And that’s just to name a few. It also boasts a pre-“True Blood” Alexander Skarsgard and the introduction of the term Blue Steel into the lexicon. All those put together, my friends, still might not make it a good movie, but it sure does make it an entertaining way to pass a couple hours.






METRO SPIRIT’S PET PAGE! You Can Help The overpopulation of companion animals causes thousands to be killed in our local shelters and on our streets and roads every year. It’s not a pleasant thought. It’s one of the reasons that I work with a huge network of caring people to raise money for spaying and neutering more animals, and paying for medical expenses when animals are abused, neglected or injured. We work tirelessly to try to adopt out and save as many as we possibly can. We know we can’t save them all, but we do all we can to save as many as we can. It isn’t their fault there are so many of them. It’s our fault. As a community we have continued to feed stray animals without thinking of the consequences of their reproducing habits. Once you start feeding an animal, they become your responsibility. This responsibility includes spay/neuter because, before you know it, you have a blossoming population of cute babies. Well, that’s real sweet for a little while until they, too, start reproducing. When there are so many, it is nearly impossible to take care of the vet bills to get them spayed or neutered, vaccinated and cared for when they are sick or injured. So, more animals are put out to fend for themselves, UHJDUGOHVVRIWKHZHDWKHUDQGWKDWWKH\KDGJURZQGHSHQGHQWRQ\RXWRIHHGWKHP,W¡VQRWWKHLUIDXOW Pets have a life span that varies by breed. Whether it is five years or 20 years, they are your responsibility for their lifetime. Think about that before you adopt and animal into your life. Think about your lifestyle, and what kind of time and attention you can give an animal. They become your companion and you love and care for them. But you are their world. They depend on you for their food, shelter, comfort, wellness and companionship. They depend on you. Life does throw us curves, but we are how we handle the curves. If you have to move, find a place you can move to with your pet(s). If your grown child goes away to school, leaving you their pet, know that the pet is going to be a traumatized Pet Food Drive starting now going through the because their main caregiver is gone. Before end of the year, with many drop off points: Animal you start thinking of getting rid of the animal, think about the animal, his needs and that House, Boots, Bridles and Britches, Pet Safari, commitment given him. The pet is in an Grovetown Seed and Feed, Paw Perfect Grooming environment he is comfortable with, and you already know how to care for him. Trying to Salon, Martinez Animal Hospital, National Hills find homes for adult pets is difficult at best. It Animal Hospital, Vineyard Wine Market can be done, but it is difficult. You could start with friends and neighbors that know the pet, Through December 30 and might be willing to adopt him. Share the Sponsored by the Pawprints Foundation and Long information on Facebook, a very popular social media that spreads information far and Dog Rescue, those who wish to donate can also wide. Put flyers up at places people frequent. call to schedule a pick up. %XWUHPHPEHULWLVQ¡WWKHSHW¡VIDXOW 706-863-2067 Below are a few pets that also really need a home. If you are willing to make a commitment to them, make that call.

Upcoming Events


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This beagle is a really sweet male, about 2-3 years old. Call 706-554-2395.

This Siberian Husky-Shepherd mix is an 8-year old-female who needs a new family. Call 706-285-4701.

Ă&#x20AC;VKZLQGRZFOHDQLQJFRP Locally Owned & Operated This Jack Russell mix is a female, approximately 5 years old, who is playful and needs a new home. Call 706-831-3115.

These two Beagle-Jack Russell female pups are happy little butterballs who can go together or separately. Call 404-936-4121.

ÂŹ Third Annual Dog Gone Cold 5k Run/Walk Julian Smith BBQ Pit Saturday, January 19, 2013 Sponsored by Hopeful Hounds, Inc. and The American Black and Tan Coonhound Rescue, organizers are currently looking for sponsors as well as participants for this fun fundraiser. Pre-registration required. 706-294-6200

Ongoing Adoption Events PETCO 4209 Washington Road, Evans Saturdays, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Sundays, 1-4 p.m. PetSmart 225 Robert C. Daniel Parkway, Augusta Saturdays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Augusta Animal Services 4164 Mack Lane, Augusta 706-790-6836. All cat and dog adoptions will be priced at $50 from November 26 through January 2, 2013. Presents for Pets drive, collecting cat, dog, puppy and kitten food, as well as treats, leashes, toys, beds, crates and more, is going on now through Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s What Friends Are For. Items collected will be distributed among local rescue organizations. Call 706-736-3691 or visit


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Where is Jenny Wright’s column? I miss my weekly lunch read. Correct me if I’m wrong, but out of all of the candidates from the primary, general, and runoff elections, were Donnie Smith and Ashley Wright the only candidates that won that were endorsed by the daily newspaper. The Metro Spirit actually let Austin Rhodes use the stupid made-up word “libtard,” for some who disagree with his opinion about gun rights. Ironically, the illogical examples he used in defense of gun rights were not even worthy of someone with a diminished mental capacity. If black people had used guns to battle the KKK in the post Civil War south, they and their families would have been completely massacred. OJ Simpson’s victims would still be dead, if they carried.. OJ snuck up behind them and slit their throats, making any gun they might have had as useless as Austin’s brain. sheriff strength has driven a normal police car for years, but our new sheriff is getting an almost 40,000 gas eaten suv complete with leather & sunroof. what’s wrong with that picture. an ad on tv shows so called ‘famous’ people beseeching the public to send money to new york to help the governor ‘rebuild’. are you kidding me? give money to a blue state? dream on, cuomo. i’ll give money to a crack whore on the street before giving you ignorant poops in a blue state anything. i suggest the blue folks hold a massive statewide bake sale if they want money to ‘rebuild’. Just got home from a great night in downtown Augusta. Had a nice dinner and drinks with the wife, then saw Willie Nelson at the Bell. Other than the loudmouth piece of crap and fat Sally sitting behind us TALKING NONSTOP, it was a great show. Hey Elmer, next time do us all a favor and you and the missus stay home at the trailer park. I promise nobody will miss you or your nonstop blabber. Roll yourself up and smoke that.




Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

Be careful who builds your home and double check your warranty and read the fi ne print. sleazy things may be the outcome if you have issues with the work and don’t know what’s covered Happy Festivus Everyone Can anyone tell me where to get the top pimento cheese in the area? I know that only one WifeSaver in North Augusta does it like what they served during the Masters. I can’t get out there. Any place else in Augusta with great homemade pimento cheese? Just wanted to say that I really enjoy Eric Johnson’s balanced approach to issues. Thanks for keeping an eye on local government for us! So the whiner is blaming President Obama for the drastic rise in his health insurance premiums? I strongly suggest you talk to your robber baron insurance company and shop around, because the Affordable Health Care Act HAS NOT kicked in yet, and will not until 2014, fully. Where is the Christmas tooth? Tell you what else we could do without in Columbia CountyMetro Spirit’s sh***y attitude. So Austin has his panties in a twist because one Kansas City sportswriter pens a column concerning the ease with which a professional athlete in this country can arm themselves to the teeth? Save the angst Austin, President Blackenstein (credit Bill Maher for that one) is not coming to your house and seize your firearms, nor are the liberals screaming to void the second amendment. Such a small life you must lead, living in constant fear and abject terror upon leaving the house unless your trusty Smith & Wesson is strapped to your body, with the omnipresent threat of you pulling a Barney Fife one bullet scenario at any given moment. Typical Repugnican boogeyman hogwash.

what the hell is the deal with the imperial theatre? Im seein stupid commercials about them beggin for money. They have plenty of greenbacks from all the out-of-town circuit bands they book in there(southern song series)Who stole all their money? Also, they DO NOT suppor t local music or bands whatsoever,unless they get a $1150 rental fee in their hand. Be more honest with the CSRA. Wanted to say that the cover designs for The Metro Spirit are fabulous. But I wish there was more web content. And if we’re taking a ride in the way-backmobile, I really used to enjoy the old e-newsletter.

Let’s see if I have my facts straight. 1.) Purchase motorcycle. 2.) Hire young female (wink-wink) as “assistant”. 3.) Accidently crash #1. and #2! 4.) Get fired from job. 5.) Get NEW job at pay rate of $850,000 base salary per year. Am I talking about a politician? NO! Am I talking about a CEO? NO! Am I talking about a NFL quarterback? NO! I’m talking about Bobby Petrino, ex-Arkansas football coach that just got hired by the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. We’ve got millions of unemployed “honest” people -and a chump like this pulls a second-grade stunt and gets another gig worth almost a million per year? I quote Bobby Petrino: “I’m going to be able to sit down with mom and dad and the student-athlete and make them understand how this experience has made me a better coach, a better person and will make me understand their son better.” Yea, right. First Arkansas, now Kentucky, what’s next Mayberry, R.F.D.?


Metro Spirit 12.13.2012  

The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond...

Metro Spirit 12.13.2012  

The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond...