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Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at m.Š events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per


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Contributors Jamess Allen|Greg Baker|Rob Baker| Brezsny|Sam Eifling |Matt Matt Lane|Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Andy Ruffin Andy Stokes|Matt Stone|Jenny W Ruff Wright

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WHINELINE Josh Ruffin’s criticism of Julio Cesar Chavez jr. is unfair. Chavez can’t help it, if he has a famous father. He has beaten 46 boxers. I bet Josh Ruffin couldn’t beat a single one of those 46.

“fair share�? Many people died for US citizens to have a right to vote. Those who don’t exercize that privledge are not american and might should move to a country lacking the right to vote. I am sick of seeing people whine that they are not going to vote this time. Shame on YOU!

With all the talk about people paying their “fair share� of income taxes, why do nearly half the people in this country pay no I was thumbing through last income taxes at all? Is that their weeks spirit in my usuall

routine... Same ole same ole... Then about page 20 21.. I saw the pictures and recognized Jordan white .... I was aware of the terrible tragedy that took here life but i didnt know her or her family . when I saw that montouge to her life I realized that i Had a brief encounter with her in the recent past.. Most would think It was nothing spectacular just a chance encounter at a restaurant but

I take Time to notice people. I was struck not only by her smile but she had such a wonderful disposition. I knew her briefly and I won’t forget her.... My heart goes out to her friends and family ....your loss is heavens gain and I know you must have wonderful memories to cherish.. God bless! To all you people out there who have been lied to and think you can drive simply because some

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government branch gave you that little piece of plastic with your ugly mug on it, the right turn from Doug Barnard onto Gordon Hwy is an ACCELERATION LANE! What’s doubly worse is most of you sit there and wait until all the traffic clears in the far lanes before driving out onto the acceleration lane! Get a clue, buy a vowel, take a shot and learn how to drive, you four-star idiots! (continued on page 46)

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World Class Close to Home: FATS trail system brings riders — and fear — to the CSRA Fired Up: Commissioners look at Regency Mall fires and wonder what to do Fair Deal: Davis campaigns for District 3 Iron Finish: Preparations for the ESi Ironman 70.3 are almost complete

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636





INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Honoring Jordan’s Memory


Those who would like to honor the memory of 19-year-old Jordan Elizabeth White may now contribute to a fund named in her honor, the proceeds of which will go toward creating a youth arts outreach program. Jordan, daughter of Metro Spirit Publisher Joe White, died Thursday, September 13, from injuries she sustained in a car wreck the previous night. To make a donation to the fund, please send a check to the Hibbard Law Firm, 205 Pitcarin Way, Augusta, GA 30909.



To Rusty Fleming, public information officer of Texas’ Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Office, for the most delightfully un-PC statement issued to the public in quite some time. How you got to be a public information officer, Rusty, we have no idea, but please keep doing what you’re doing.


To the NFL, the replacement referees and, most of all, to those taking the outcome of the Seahawks-Packers game way too seriously.





So Close Though at times throughout the process he might have wanted to burn them at the stake, Paul Simon came before Augusta commissioners Monday looking to put a fire under them. Paul Simon The TEE Center is almost finished and Simon is looking at the calendar and things are getting close. Seems his manager needs 90 days to train staff, order supplies and get the liquor license squared away. If he can’t start that 90 days soon — like real soon — they might have to cancel January’s first convention, the State Police Chiefs Convention. That would mean not just turning 300 people away, but canceling the first group to take a chance on the new facility, which no matter how well built or managed is bound to have some glitches anyway. Glitches are one thing, telling people to go home is another, so Simon put the ball in the commission’s court, asking for a work session to hammer out whatever details might be left to hammer out before all the official paperwork is through He even sweetened the deal by letting them know that as far as the parking deck was concerned, the deeds have been transferred without liens and the annual plan for 2013 will soon be delivered. Of course the commission could instruct him to go ahead and cancel the convention, he said. That was up to them.


Dudes — You Lost Okay, so remember all that Rick Allen/Wright McLeod fighting that was going on during the primary? At times it had all the absurd single-mindedness of a school yard brawl. It was vengeful. It was personal. It was out of control. And it’s still going on. That’s right, almost two months removed from the primary, they’re still at it. The issue this time, flimsy as it is, happens to be that pink playhouse everyone’s been talking about. The one that was apparently — or allegedly — in violation of a homeowner’s association covenant. McLeod was retained by the HOA, and of course that’s when the fun started. And certainly, somewhere among the actual legal issues, there’s a lot of fun to be had. The Naval Academy, Tomcat flyin’, Congressional Candidate versus the little girl and her pink playhouse. You’ve got to admit that’s pretty awesome stuff. But the glee with which Allen’s bunch has kept fueling this thing is just a little odd. Hired guns are supposed to move on to the next two-bit town. They’re soulless, right? They’re not supposed to care. But obviously, they do care, which means McLeod hit a nerve somewhere. Hit it deep and hard. You’d think there’d be some satisfaction in that, which makes you wonder why he’d send out statements bringing more attention to it? “It’s time to stop this side-show?” That truly goes with out saying.





On the Ropes Why Mitt Romney Should Go Ahead and Quit Yeah. I know. I can already feel the molten lava dripping from some of your sulfuric maws as you read this headline. From my occasional skimming of the Whine Line, I know a few of you stockpile your indignation reserves for when you read this column, and I want you to know I’m flattered. Bonus fun/infuriating fact: I used to teach at the college level, so some of you may know or be related to someone I brainwashed into godless liberalism. Anyway. I’m not the first to suggest that Romney might want to just pack it in right now. One of Fox News’ bottle-blonde talking heads took it further a few weeks ago, saying that if Romney can’t beat Obama this fall, the GOP should shut the whole party down. True, I’ve thought that was a good idea for about 10 years now, ever since I’ve been mature enough to feel ways about things. But I’m not here to try and convince you that Mitt Romney is a terrible candidate; that should have been evident months ago, when he trailed, at various points, Newt Gingrich, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and Herman “Uze-bekky-bekkybekky-stan” Cain. No, I’m here to outline why his campaign has self-imploded the way it has (which, I might point out, I predicted some weeks ago), and why the GOP as a whole is going to suffer for it. These are just facts, so don’t shoot the messenger — though you could probably get away with it if you invoked Stand Your Ground. 1. Mitt Romney is a Gaffe Machine Now look, you and I both know that our best politicians practice a special kind of diplomatic clean-speak, the many iterations of which are run through focus groups and demographic studies in order to determine the most PC, inoffensive ways to say even the most objectively offensive things. George W. Bush is kind of an idiot, but he surrounded himself with able politicians who were able to filter out most knee-jerk utterances. There is, however, no middleman between Romney’s brain and his mouth. At first, these were worthy of a quick eye-roll and nothing more: such gems as “Ten thousand dollar bet?” and “My wife drives a couple of Cadillacs” fall into that category. But the ones that have since cropped up are more glaring, and bespeak a candidate who has experienced not an inkling of financial hardship in his life, and exhibits a glaring lack of worldliness and self-awareness: “Some of my best friends are NASCAR owners.” — It speaks primarily to the perpetual lobotomied nature of his base that he got away with that one unscathed by the right. “I like being able to fire people.” — To be fair, this one was taken slightly out of context, but still. If your brain doesn’t register that phrasing and immediately stop the presses on your tongue, you have no more business in politics than you do in procreation. “Forty-seven percent of people in this country see themselves as victims… My job is to not care about those people.” — Jesus Popsicle Christ. First, let’s get this out of the way: in no way was this a “gotcha” moment. No one asked Romney leading questions or tried to paint him into a rhetorical corner. The man was at a podium, talking to his constituents, and these words — essentially, “I don’t give a s**t about half the country” — came willfully out of his mouth. The 47 percent he mentioned refers to the number of Americans who received some sort of government assistance in the past year or so, which includes those receiving welfare benefits, Medicare and business loans. Twenty-two percent of that number includes the elderly. By definition, it also includes corporations who received funding and subsidies from the government. Fox News wanted to know why we were spending so much time on a “hidden video.” Because read above, Fox News. By the way, if you want to know why Fox News is the paste-eater of bulls**t artists, they tried to sidestep this controversy by pointing out that the video was taken from a fundraiser “all the way back” in May. They then released an out-of-context video of Obama saying he was for redistribution… back in 1998. Bonus I-didn’t-expect-to-add-to-this-category-when-I-woke-up-Monday-morning quote: “Well, we do provide care for people who don’t have insurance. If someone has a heart attack, they don’t sit in their apartment and die. We pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital, and give them care. And different states have different ways of providing for that care.” — Uh-huh. Never mind that someone without health insurance — aka those of us too lazy to take responsibility for our own lives, right? — could be financially destroyed after one trip to the emergency room. A co-worker of mine was recently, incorrectly, billed for an insurance-less ER



procedure during which she had a fish bone removed from her throat. The whole thing took about 12 seconds. She was charged more than $800. 2. The Base Is Turning One of the most baffling aspects of this nation’s ideological divide is the fact that, in an era in which the GOP is controlled by the super-rich, a large percentage of their base is still composed of middle-class and economically disadvantaged whites. For the most part, this is a holdover from Joseph McCarthy’s virulently anti-Communist rhetoric, a streak that was born of, and has in turn perpetuated, what is in reality an anti-intellectual stance. Writes Neil Gabler of Politico: “Ever since McCarthy, the GOP has had its anti-elitist, anti-intellectual wing. The mantra of which has been: They hate you. ‘They’ being the Democrats, who were in league with the professors and planners. This seed, planted by McCarthy, has grown a political sequoia. As Rick Perlstein documented in his brilliant book ‘Nixonland,’ ‘They hate you’ became the basis of Nixonian politics and the force that shifted the nation’s political geology for the past 50 years.” The party has devolved into a conglomerate of wealthy donors, religious wingnuts and special interest groups, but has remained rhetorically cohesive enough to keep this train of thought functioning. It’s not surprising. One of the quickest, most primal methods of keeping a population, or a constituency, in check is to tap into their fear of an other. Throw an articulate black man into the mix who promises change and actually tries to deliver on it in a big way, and what you have is the sort of ultra-reactionary response that manifests itself in organizations like the Tea Party. But something funny is happening right now, and it’s indicative of a trend across the broader scope of the nation: the Republicans are seeing their reliable base dwindle. Yes, they’ll always have hardcore evangelicals, billionaires and bigots, but key demographics are beginning to turn against them. A specific example: Paul Ryan recently gave a talk at an AARP conference, where he laid out his voucher plan for Medicare, and was nearly booed off the stage. Keep in mind, these are not people who would be affected by the potential changes, but they harbor a very human, very empathetic conscience that will not allow them to cheer the dismantling of the Medicare safety net for future generations. The campaign, for the record, has said that it’s plan moving forward is to let Ryan off his leash a little more and let him get into specifics regarding his policy plans. I really can’t see how that could backfire. 3. Foreign Policy Conservatives love to knock Obama for his perceived softness on foreign policy. In response, I have two points to make: Osama bin Laden? Dead. Moving on. The second one is a little bit deeper and, I think, vastly more telling. Via Fox News, no less: “[Libyans] stormed the compound of the Islamic extremist militia suspected in the attack, evicting militiamen and setting fire to their building Friday. In an unprecedented show of public anger at Libya’s rampant militias, the crowd overwhelmed the compound of the Ansar Al-Shariah Brigade in the center of the eastern city of Benghazi. Ansar Al-Shariah fighters initially fired in the air to disperse the crowd, but eventually abandoned the site with their weapons and vehicles after it was overrun by waves of protesters shouting ‘No to militias.’ “The crowd was waving, in many cases, swords and meat cleavers, chanting ‘No more AlQaeda!’ and ‘The blood we shed for freedom shall not go in vain!’” Let me end by boiling down that last point: Muslims, of their own accord, rejected Muslim extremists, and kicked them right the hell out of their city. It is a victory for freedom, for democracy and for the right of humankind to govern itself freely.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published journalist and poet who just

received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.



AUSTIN RHODES Time for ASU Faculty to Step Up

If the current faculty and staff at Augusta State University had been working during the civil rights era, which end of the bullhorn would they have been on? If they had to remain true to their current mindset, apparently neither. Most of the current group apparently do not believe in getting involved in “controversy.” Well, at least not publicly. Privately, I have had conversations with over 30 faculty, staff and administration officials and not one, not a damn one, agrees with move to rename the consolidated GHSU/ASU hybrid Georgia Regents University. All over the country there are amazing college protests where everyone from Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush, and all persons in between, are accused of being card carrying (pick one) war criminals/terrorists/fascists/homophobes/effete libs/angelofiles/Muslim extremists/warmongerers and/or petty thieves. Students and, yes, faculty alike use every ounce of freedom the U.S. Constitution gives them to be as outrageously outspoken, and often disrespectful, as they care to be as they protest everything from abortion rights to women’s issues to tuition increases right there on their own campuses. While it is clear that public college faculty members have to make sure to emphasize that they are speaking as individuals and not as representatives of their institutions of employment, they may be one of the few protected classes of employees who expressly have immunity while voicing even the harshest of direct criticisms at their own bosses. The widely embraced 1940 Statement of Principles on Academic Freedom and Tenure, jointly authored by the American Association of University Professors (AAUP) and the Association of American Colleges covers not only in class discussion/debate, but also political and public affairs speech in any appropriate venue. To paraphrase a number of online definitions of the above policy, while instructors are urged to be careful to avoid unnecessary controversial matter that is unrelated to their instructional material, outside the classroom they can really let it all hang out. In other words, when they speak or write in public, they are free to express their opinions without fear of institutional censorship or discipline. Common sense dictates they show restraint and clearly indicate that they are not speaking for their institution. That said, under the prevailing principles of the statement, academic tenure protects freedom of expression by ensuring that teachers can be fired only for causes such as gross professional incompetence or behavior that evokes condemnation from the academic community itself. Pretty ironic, huh? The one group of professionals who basically have a get out of jail free

card to publicly criticize their bosses, are too chicken to actually do it. Contrast the behavior of the invisible ASU faculty to the striking Chicago teachers, who make no bones out of calling for the public flogging of their political nemesis, Mayor Rahm Emanuel, who just so happens to be their ultimate political boss. Just in the papers this week were countless pleas from NFL players urging their commissioner to remove his head from his own fanny to get a labor deal settled with their locked out officiating crews. I could go on, but the point is well made. The ASU faculty seems to be almost universally opposed to this bizarre name change, yet they are sitting squarely on their well-paid asses refusing to do anything about it. A no-confidence vote on the topic, concentrating on what has clearly been a dishonest treatment of the issue by their boss, Dr. Ricardo Azziz, is a good place to start. I understand that threats have supposedly been made if such protests materialize among the paid faculty, but damn it, call their bluff on it. If 20... 30... or more of you (and we know there are many more) feel Azziz has mishandled this process, get together and voice your concern. There is no way he can come after you if you make your concerns a matter of public record. Last week a group of well-heeled business and community leaders announced an organized effort to protest this hideous move, and get the name Augusta restored to the new school name. That is wonderful news, about 45 days late, but better late than never. These movers and shakers reportedly include and/or are supported by, Billy Morris III, Fleming Norvell, Nick Evans, Louis Wall, Dr. Randy Smith, Dr. Al Stocks, Trex Bollick, Chris Cunningham, Dr. Charles Coleman, Josh Gregory, Barry Paschal, Michael Ryan, Harley Drew, Helen Blocker-Adams, Rick McKee, Harry Jacobs and many others. It would shake the administration building to its foundation if the faculty members who disagree with this heavy handed garbage would just step up say so. They have every right; as a matter of fact, in their profession, you might say it is a birthright. The city is standing up for you. Won’t you stand up for yourselves?


The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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Our Interest is in You! 27SEPTEMBER2012






Fired Up

Commissioners look at Regency Mall fires and wonder what to do

Driven by reports of fires inside Regency Mall, commissioners received an update on the status of code enforcement violations at the long vacant mall. Development Manager Rob Sherman admitted there had been another incident where vandals had accessed the building and said that, because of that, he had been in contact with the owners of the mall. “They sent us an email today saying they would be in town this week and that they wanted to have some doors fabricated so it can be welded shut.” In addition to securing the doors, the owners told Sherman they were planning to bring in equipment to gut the inside of the mall along the common areas and storefronts. While Commissioner Bill Lockett seemed doubtful of the owners’ intentions, Sherman maintained that the mall’s owners had been responsive in the past. “Each time we’ve notified them that we have an issue here, they’ve come in and secured the mall, cut the grass and trimmed the trees,” he said. “And then every time they leave, it reoccurs.” While commissioners and staff have bickered about the condition of the building and the unkempt grounds, even going so far as entering the building to follow up claims of mold, this discussion 8


centered on safety questions brought up by the recent fire. “There are combustibles in the building,” said Chief Chris James, referring to carpeting and ceiling tiles that are still present. “The issue that we have with this building is that the alarm system is not in service. It needs to be in service. And the sprinkler system is not working throughout the building and it needs to be in service.” James reported that the previous issues the department had with the building, that they were prevented from entering the property because of barriers, had been corrected with the removal of the barriers and the installation of a gate with a key. James also expressed some concern about the condition of the parking lot near the back end of the mall area, which prompted discussion about the fact that a traveling circus was allowed to set up on the grounds when their arrangement on Wrightsboro Road fell through. Though Commissioners Mason and Lockett spent quite a bit of time talking about the parking lot, which has been weakened by the erosion of the ground underneath it in an area near the old call center, it was the alarm system that dominated the discussion while also causing some dissent. “If the building’s alarm system is inoperable, that’s unacceptable to me as a commissioner and it should be unacceptable to all commissioners,” Mason said. “But it’s certainly unacceptable to me, because if those types of combustibles are still a part of

that building and we clearly know that there have been individuals inside the building, authorized or unauthorized, then that is an issue.” Commissioner Jerry Brigham disagreed, urging restraint against singling out the mall building for violations that are undoubtedly being experienced elsewhere. “I don’t think we ought to be singling out this place any differently than we should any other place that you think should have an alarm,” he said. “I think that we ought to only address these by ordinance. I don’t think we ought to address them by meeting with individual locations.” Alluding to several other situations in the city’s past where commission actions have instigated further issues, he warned against getting themselves in a situation where they cause problems for themselves. Though the committee agreed to receive the discussion as information and allow the Fire Department and License and Inspection to continue to work on the problem, including working with the fire marshal and Judge Jennings to figure out how to send a citation to the absentee owner, Planning and Development Director George Patty did restate what the commission has always known. “If it’s the majority of the commission’s desire, we can start a process that would ultimately lead to requiring them to demolish that property,” he said. “That’s where all of our processes lead, to be honest with you, and maybe that’s what needs to happen.” 27SEPTEMBER2012



Fair Deal

Davis campaigns for District 3 Her Election Committee reads like a Who’s Who of Augusta movers and shakers, and her stint as Mayor Deke Copenhaver’s campaign manager doesn’t exactly scream Everywoman, but to hear District 3 Commission Candidate Mary Fair Davis speak about the Augusta she wants for her kids, she sounds like she could be speaking about any of Augusta’s 10 districts. “People want our city government to work together,� she said. “I plan to listen to the needs of Augustans and bring those needs to the table. I feel like I’m going to be a communicator and help people collaborate.� Davis, who currently works part time in development for St. Mary’s, is running against former Coliseum Authority attorney Ed Enoch and Cleveland O’Steen for the District 3 seat held by Joe Bowles, who will be term limited out of office. “We’ve been busy since December, so I’m excited that we’re in the home stretch,� Davis said. Though she obviously has campaign experience, this is the first time Davis has been a candidate, and Mary Fair Davis while she said she enjoyed working behind the scenes, she also said she’s learning to appreciate being the one actually running for the job. “The biggest difference is that you get to talk to people first hand about their concerns and their needs,� she said. “I’ve really appreciated getting to know people in that way, and I’ve formed a lot of new relationships that I otherwise wouldn’t have had the opportunity to form if I wasn’t the candidate.� Though conventional wisdom says that the upcoming elections will have a high turnout, Augusta is coming off a hotly contested primary and runoff. Is it possible that after paying so much attention to local campaigns, voters will be politically hungover and fail to turn out come November? “I think actually the primary and the runoff has energized more voters,� she said. “It’s also made them realize that every vote does count and that these races can be close, and if they want their votes to be heard, they need to vote.� She said she believes the voters understand that there is a lot at stake. “They want us to make decisions based on all of Augusta, not just individual districts,� she said. Sounding a little like Copenhaver, who has always maintained a positive, progrowth equilibrium, Davis emphasized that she would do everything she could to make sure Augusta was the safest, cleanest city possible, because a safe, clean city is what attracts new businesses. As for the candidate forums, she said she’s welcomed the chance to learn more about her opponents. “The only thing difficult to me about a forum is that you don’t have a lot of time to try to get your point across,� she said. While Enoch has logged plenty public exposure with the Coliseum Authority, Davis doesn’t see that name recognition as an advantage. “I’ve been involved in so many hard decisions and big decisions that have helped change Augusta State University and the Medical College of Georgia,� she said. “I might be the one who’s behind the scenes bringing people together, but the outcome is so impactful for that organization that I work for.� So instead of trying to compete with that exposure, she concentrates on the relationship building that has been part of her professional career since she jointed ASU in 1996. “I’ve done alumni relations and fundraising and development work my whole career,� she said. “That’s what I do every day — I bring people together, and I’m going to continue to listen to the needs of Augustans.� Ultimately, she said, her reason for running was to make sure her daughter Morgan, 15, and son Charlie, 11, would want to live in Augusta after college and raise their families here. “People have been very welcoming of my campaign,� she said. “They’ve been very receptive of what I’m saying.� 27SEPTEMBER2012


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Iron Finish

Preparations for the ESi Ironman 70.3 are almost complete

of the bikes. “We’ll have a lot of people who just kind of roll off the plane on Saturday night and come in here to get their bike assembled,” he says. “It gets a little chaotic, to say the least.” According to Carly Kobasiar, marketing manager for the Some, like the members of the Augusta Sports Council, Augusta Sports Council, chaos would reign supreme if not which we’ve been covering in a series of articles, have been for the 1,100 or so volunteers who sign up every year. working toward this point since before last year’s event was “We’ve got a lot of groups that have agreed to volunteer, torn down, while others are just now gearing up. and most of them are providing anywhere from 20 to 60 With all those athletes riding all those bikes, you volunteers as part of their group,” Kobasiar says. expect Augusta’s bike shops to be working hard selling The groups include the ASU cheerleaders, St. Paul’s last-minute items and conducting 11th-hour repairs, but Church and several groups from Fort Gordon. given the cost of traveling with a competition-grade Many individual community members volunteer, too. bike, the shops have also become UPS delivery points In fact, volunteering has become a popular way for for many of the competitors’ bikes. locals and those who have accompanied participants to According to Brett Ardrey of Outspokin,’ it all kind of experience the event. makes sense. “They sign up for a specific position,” Kobasiar says. “A lot of these guys don’t know much about their bikes,” “We’ll have our volunteer orientation Thursday night, where he says. “They can swim and run and ride their bikes, but we’ll run through everything they’re going to be doing and they don’t know that much about their bikes. So to take a where they’ll need to go. Then, we’ll pass out the T-shirts bike apart, put it in an airplane and then get it over here and and stuff.” back together — they don’t have the tools and they don’t All 1,100 volunteers will be wearing navy blue volunteer have the place to keep it.” T-shirts throughout the event. By the Tuesday before the race, Drew Jordan of Andy Those volunteers will be fanned out across the massive Jordan’s was already starting to see the arrival of some event area while accomplishing a variety of different tasks to

As the time ticks down to the start of the ESi Ironman Augusta 70.3, different parts of town are coming alive with unusual activity centered on the event.


help the competitors and the spectators get the most out of the event. According to Kobasiar, spectators at Augusta’s Ironman are particularly fortunate. “The beauty of this course is that it is really spectator friendly,” she says. “Anywhere on the run course, especially if you’ve got one athlete that you’re trying to follow, you can just leapfrog through downtown Augusta and see them multiple times. The zigzags through downtown really make it fun.” For those who want to get up early, one of the most exciting places to be will be at the swim start. For obvious reasons. “Putting 3,000 bodies in the Savannah River is just an awesome sight and is not something you see every day,” she says. Swimming will be going on from approximately 7:30 to 9:30 a.m., she says. Officials expect the winner to cross the finish line about 11:50 a.m. Finish line activities will be going on at the Augusta Common, and although Broad Street might be closed, the restaurants will remain open. “All our downtown restaurants are going to be open for business,” Kobasiar says. “It’s going to be an awesome time.”




World Class Close to Home

FATS trail system brings riders — and fear — to the CSRA

for another, even more exclusive distinction at the World Mountain Bike Summit in Santa Fe next month, an annual meeting that was hosted by FATS back in 2010. Throwing myself down one of those trails would have been like having my first surfing experience off Oahu, right? The wisdom not to make my first mountain bike ride Or taking the lift to the black diamond run my first time out down one of the six FATS trails: whatever a trip to the on skis. emergency room goes for these days. “We can have injuries,” admits Susan Messick. She’s the Okay, so that’s a pretty cheesy way to start a feature story president of the CSRA chapter of the Southern Off-Road about the world-class mountain bike trail system that’s Bicycle Association (SORBA) and she knows a thing or snaking around through the Sumter National Forest barely two about what she’s talking about. Her organization has 15 minutes out of Augusta, but it’s an honest one. a Memorandum of Understanding with the U.S. Forest Standing there at the top of the trail, ready to hurl myself Service to maintain the 35 miles of FATS trails. They also down into the great, brambly unknown, I was seized not have a mountain bike patrol, meaning that if the local fire so much by fear or an awareness that an overweight, department ever needs help getting to someone or getting Dew-addicted person like me had no business tackling them out, they are the ones to call. anything quite so daunting, but by an unreasonable personal The group, which has close to 200 members, also has aversion to being on the answering end of awkward and similar agreements with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers embarrassing questions like the ones I’d certainly be asked and the Augusta Canal Authority. In total, they are by the first responders called to extract me. responsible for nearly 150 miles of area trails. “You’ve never ridden a mountain bike before and you “If it’s rained and it’s really muddy, we discourage folks came here? Really?” from riding it because they can cause a lot of damage to the The FATS system — FATS is an acronym for Forks trail,” she says. “We try to be good stewards of the land.” Area Trail System — has been awarded Epic status by the But what about me, I ask. Was I a good steward of my International Mountain Bike Association (IMBA) and it’s up body for not riding the trails?

You know how the commercial goes — Riding shorts: $29.95. Borrowed bike and helmet: free.


“Pretty much any rider can ride them,” she says. “But how successful you are at riding it would depend on your physical fitness level.” Not exactly the reassurance my ego is looking for, but my spirits will be buoyed a few days later when I run into an experienced rider who had taken a nasty tumble on one of the FATS loops. His entire abdomen is bruised and swollen and screaming “Buddy, you did the right thing.” The FATS trails were conceived and built by Bill Victor, a mountain bike enthusiast who sounds an awful lot like Larry the Cable Guy if Larry the Cable Guy ever happened to talk about mountain bikes “I first approached the Forest Service about a trail in that area in about 1995,” he says. “They were somewhat receptive, but they wanted to know who I was and who I represented.” Since the U.S. government isn’t in the habit of building something for only five or six people, Forest Service officials wanted confirmation that he represented something greater than himself, which is how the local chapter of SORBA was formed. “The guy in charge said he liked to talk with one person who represented an interest group,” Victor says. “He also said they had three or four trails that were part of the system that needed some work and suggested we work on fixing 27SEPTEMBER2012


those up for them.” So, in other words, it was an audition process? “I think that’s one way to look at it,” he says. “But the way I always looked at it was, when I got up and left the office, they were like — okay, that’s the last time we’re ever going to see that guy.” If that was indeed what they thought, they were dead wrong. For the next few years, Victor would make such a nuisance of himself that by the year 2000, when a new person came in to replace the guy in charge, he had made quite a reputation for himself. “She told me flat out — you have really ruffled some feathers in the Forest Service with your aggressive nature,” he says. That aggressive nature paid off, however. By then, he had started the SORBA chapter, formed his own trail building company and discovered the Recreation Trail Program, a federal grant program that allowed him to build trail systems in Baker Creek State Park in McCormick and Hickory Knob State Park. He also wrote grants to fix the Forest Service trails in the area that needed fixing, including equestrian trails. By 2003, the woman who told him he’d shaken up the Forest Service had herself shaken things up enough to give him what he wanted — some land to build on. “The Forest Service came to me and said they were ready to do it, but they told me they didn’t want the six miles I was asking for, they wanted at least 30.” Though Victor’s not all that proud of the first trails he built at Baker Creek and Hickory Knob, by this time he had figured out exactly what he was doing. “Thank God the Forest Service said no for 10 years,” he cackles. “Because if they’d have given it to us in 1995, we would have really screwed it up.” By then, his way of working had changed, too. In 1995, the trails were all hand built, but by the time he started working on FATS, he had discovered machines and learned how to use them. Most of Victor’s trail work is done with a Ditch Witch SK500, a mini skid steer that looks like a little walk behind end loader. He has two of them and they do a great job, but sometimes he needs a more specialized piece of equipment, so he contacts a buddy in Charlotte who has something called a Sweco Trail Building Machine, which unlike the Ditch Witch you can actually ride. “Making the initial cut with the Sweco is the best,” he says. “It creates your trail bed, then you get your guys with the Ditch Witches and they come in and massage all that dirt and build your berms and make your drainage and your grade dips.” It’s that synergy between knowledge and equipment that gives FATS its flow, and to hear mountain bikers talk, flow is everything. “It’s just the way your bike naturally 27SEPTEMBER2012




flows through the woods,” says Messick, who likes riding Brown Wave, Skinny and the Great Wall. “You’re not doing a lot of switchbacks and turns just to make the trail fit in the woods.” Older trails, trails that have been around since the 1950s, often have lots of bridges, for example, and some of the bridges might have 12-inch steps, which are fine for hikers, but present problems for riders. Give those steps a 90-degree turn right after the step — that’s what you call bad flow. “It just feels unnatural,” Victor says. “Like you’re trying to get from A to B, but the course you’re on doesn’t flow well for a bicycle. You’ll find none of that in any of the trails we design and build. They’re all about flow and everything is where you expect it to be.” The flow feels like the entire trail is going downhill. It’s not, of course, but that’s the impression it gives.


The FATS trail system has done a lot for popularizing mountain bikes in the area, Messick says. “Before, the bike shops didn’t carry as many mountain bikes as they did road bikes,” she says. “Now, pretty much everyone wants a mountain bike.” Brett Ardrey, owner of Outspokin’ Bicycles in Augusta, estimates he sells 60 percent mountain bikes to 30 percent road bikes, and he says it’s not unusual to have customers from all over the country, and in some cases the world. “A guy I just bought a van from teaches driving to Formula One drivers,” he says. “He told me a group of five European Formula One drivers are going to ride the trail while their wives do the equestrian thing in Aiken.” Drew Jordan, owner of Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse, agrees that FATS has helped the sales of mountain bikes considerably.

“There’s a definite correlation with the opening of FATS, there’s no doubt about it,” he says. “This was a brand-new trail built and designed specifically for bikes.” Then, he waxes poetic for a moment or two about the flow out there before marveling at what it’s like having such an iconic system so close. “There are people who live here that have never heard of it, and then there are people who come in, buy a bike and go straight out there,” he says. “I mean, a dude from Hawaii knew about it.” But was I dumb for chickening out at the top of the trail? This time I ask Victor. He doesn’t answer directly, but instead starts talking about stupid mistakes he’s seen people make on the trails, which leads me to believe that I made the right call. If the mere idea of me riding FATS gets him talking about people he’s encountered deep down the trail without a water bottle in the heat of summer, or people riding without a helmet, then I definitely did the right thing. For Victor, the FATS saga has been as challenging as it’s been rewarding, and while the system is a showpiece now, there were plenty who doubted him. “It’s kind of like in the Charlie Brown story,” he says. “FATS was the Great Pumpkin and I was Linus.” You can tell Victor is one of those rare dreamers patient enough to devote 10 years to seeing one thing through, yet restless enough not to be defined by it. He has two additional projects he’s excited about right now. One is the idea of building a one-track in North Augusta, and the other has to do with some 40 miles he’s just flagged for the Forest Service north of Columbia. He says if the funding comes through and he’s allowed to build it, the new system will blow FATS out of the water. “FATS is cool and all, but at the end of the day, it’s 600 feet about sea level,” he says. “It is what it is.” For most, what it is happens to be pretty damn nice.




By David Steinberg and Barry Haldiman / Edited by Will Shortz 17 Busybody 20 1972 Eastwood western 24 African port of 2.2 million 27 Couple of buddies? 30 Exhibit apoplexy 33 Oil, for one 34 Per aspera ad ___ 37 Actor Wheaton of “Stand by Me” 39 Septic tank worker? 41 One foot in a line 42 Kind of overalls 43 Ad ___ 47 Sequel 50 See 3-Down 51 Suffix with duck 52 Airport data 54 Not much of a try 55 “You betcha!” 57 Football pride of Detroit 59 Half of an old film duo 62 Daddy-o 64 California’s ___ River 66 New Year abroad 68 Forbidden perfume? 69 ___ Dorney, locale of 2012 Olympic rowing 72 A/C meas. 78 With the bow, musically 80 Casino draws 82 Common place for something to drop 84 Versatile kind of tire 85 Response to a sinking feeling? 87 Arts and crafts supplies Down 89 Istanbul’s ___ Airport 1 Long-billed bird 91 Wrap up 2 Hopeless situation 3 With 50-Down, cry made in [the circled 95 Sans-serif typeface letters] after the starts of 54-, 33-, 30- and 97 The scarlet letter 98 Phone billing plan 14-Down 99 Think that maybe one can 4 Blitzkrieg, e.g. 100 William ___ Henley, “Invictus” poet 5 Goes on and on 102 Denounce harshly 6 Biblical name meaning “high” 103 Pesto part 7 Ones with telescopes 105 1960s TV spy org. 8 Thingamajig 107 Start of a spill 9 Smooth, in a way 111 Designer Lagerfeld 10 Saint Agnes’ ___ (January 20) 112 Rope material 11 Worldport airline 113 Symbol of Aphrodite 12 Vet 115 ___ Paulo 13 Rock’s ___ Fighters 117 Nonhuman villain of a classic 1968 14 Make a mistake film 15 Try to reach headquarters, say 118 ___ kwon do 16 More than 50% of humanity 86 Experience 88 Mauna ___ 90 Skin soother 92 Day-___ 93 ___ v. Ashcroft (2004 privacy case) 94 Coming up 96 Opens, in a way 99 Sign with an arrow 101 Bygone ruler 102 First bishop of Paris 103 Olympic gold-medal gymnast Conner 104 Coins that disappeared during the French Revolution 106 Onetime billionaire investor Laurence 108 Certain ones, in Brooklyn 109 “Rule Britannia” composer 110 Write 111 ___ Lumpur, Malaysia 112 “That is so funny — not!” 114 Appear as such 116 Eastern Conference N.B.A. city 119 “I ___ confused” 120 Androgynous “S.N.L.” skit turned into a 1994 movie 121 Escapade 122 Ersatz 123 New Mexico county or its seat 124 Gambling games 125 Addition, of a sort 126 Dickens’s Uriah 127 Feminine suffix

















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Across 1 Hip bones 5 Safecracker 9 Zip 12 When things aren’t going right 18 Terrific, in slang 19 Jai ___ 20 Web app platform 21 Title heroine of a Gustave Charpentier opera 22 Doctrines 23 Domino’s most important part? 25 Highest taxonomic rank 26 Successors’ spots 28 Host 29 P.M. part 31 Speak raucously 32 Game played with a rope 33 Monk’s wear 34 French possessive 35 Director Wertmüller 36 Grandpa Munster portrayer 38 Coastal indentations 40 City on the Somme 42 Rudely interrupts 43 Wish one ___ (rue) 44 It may be cured 45 Suffix with peck or puck 46 Certain elective surgery, for short 48 ___ es Salaam 49 Vest opening 53 Like strongmen 56 Careful wording, maybe 58 The White House’s ___ Room 60 Suit 61 Obsolescent belt attachment 63 Nautical pronoun 65 Cousin ___ 67 Actor Eric of “Troy” 68 Beam over 70 “Help wanted” inits. 71 2000 Ricky Martin hit 73 One small step 74 It’s separated from N.B. by the Northumberland Strait 75 Barrister’s deg. 76 One letting off steam 77 Half a Yale cheer 79 “Of course, Señor!” 81 Kind of sch. 83 Two long parts of the body












ME Arts

Art Now, featuring artist Anthony Goicolea who will talk about his career, is Friday, September 28, at 6 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Drinks and music by Dr. Bread to follow. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit Fall Fling is Saturday, September 29, from 9 a.m.-noon at the Aiken Center for the Arts and includes mini art classes for adults and teen. Pre-registration required. Call 803-641-9094 or visit Artist Lonnie Holley will be at Paine College’s Gilbert-Lambuth Memorial Chapel on Wednesday, October 3, at 11 a.m. for a lecture, performance and sculpture unveiling. Free and open to the public. Visit The Morris Museum of Art offers free admission through October 14 in honor of its 20th anniversary. Call 706-724-7501 or visit


Re: Noun, An Exhibition of Persons, Places and Things, a thematic group exhibition featuring works by Louise Belcourt, Holly Coulis, William Christenberry, Drew Galloway, Lonnie Holley, Scott Ingram, Ashley Kauschinger, Vivien Maier, Vee Speers, Katherine Taylor, Dayna Thacker and Angela West, shows October 3-7 at the Old Academy of Richmond County as part of the Westobou Festival. Call 706-755-2878 or visit

Augusta ex-pat Troy Campbell, who up until recently had been in South Korea with the U.S. Army, has returned to the area and is showing his whimsical, mixed-media work at Sky City during the month of October. An opening reception will be held First Friday, October 5, from 8-10 p.m. Visit City of Dust: Photographs by John Mulhouse shows at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-834-9742 or visit Portraits of Southern Artists by Jerry Siegel shows through December 2 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit A Sense of Place, the 32nd annual juried fine art competition and exhibition, shows through October 12 at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Call 706-722-5495 or visit Leonard Porkchop Zimmerman: Love Stories shows through October 12 in the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art’s Creel-Harison Community Art Gallery. Call 706-722-5495 or visit Elizabeth Moretz-Britt and Beth H. Jones Exhibit is on display through October 26 at Sacred Heart Cultural Center. Call 706-826-4701 or visit September Exhibitions at the Aiken Center for the Arts include Jane Popiel and the Atlanta Collage Society in the main gallery, the ACA Summer Camp Show in the Brooks Gallery and Raymond Kent in the Aiken Artists Guild Gallery. Call 803-641-9094 or visit

Lonnie Holley Exhibit of found-item art shows at the Old Academy of Richmond County October 3-7 as part of the Westobou Festival. Call 706755-2878 or visit

Social ARTifacts: A World Vision Through Art, shows through September 29 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit

Wonderland, works by sculptor Karen Rich Beall and painter Claire Ellen Corey, shows October 3-6 at the Center for Arts and Heritage in North Augusta as part of the Westobou Festival. Call 706-755-2878 or visit

The Art of Alfred Hutty: Woodstock to Charleston, including 60 oil and watercolor paintings, pastel drawings, etchings, drypoints and lithographs, shows through October 28 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-7247501 or visit

Works by Troy Campbell show at Sky City during October. An opening reception will be held First Friday, October 5, from 8-10 p.m. Visit


Printed Matter by sculptor and mixed media artist Joe Sanders shows in ASU’s Mary S. Byrd Gallery of Art until October 19. Visit Annual Quilt Exhibition shows October 1-December 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Free with museum admission. Call 706724-3576 or visit The Whiskey Painters of America annual exhibition shows through October 31 at the Zimmerman Gallery. Call 706-774-1006 or visit 16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

donation and festivalgoers are invited to bring picnics and coolers. Call 803-642-8966 or visit Evening of Festivities, a Symphony Orchestra Augusta event that features guitarist Jason Vieaux, is Saturday, September 29, at 7:30 p.m. at First Baptist Church of Augusta. $17.76-$41.12. Call 706-826-4705 or visit 21st Annual Pops on the River Concert, presented by the Augusta Concert Band, is Sunday, September 30, at 6:30 p.m. at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre on the Riverwalk. Free. Call 706-825-9124 or visit facebook. com/augustaconcertband. ASU Student Recital Showcase, part of the Westobou Festival, is Wednesday, October 3, at 1 p.m. in the Maxwell Theatre. Call 706-6674100 or visit Julia Easterlin and Bean Summer perform at the Parade Grounds at the Old Academy of Richmond County on Wednesday, October 3, at 7 p.m. as part of the Westobou Festival. Free. Call 706-755-2878 or visit Janelle Monae, Maceo Park, Fred Wesley & the New JBs and Funk You perform at the Parade Grounds at the Old Academy of Richmond County on Thursday, October 4, at 5 p.m. as part of the Westobou Festival. $30, advance; $40, gate; $75, VIP; $550, VIP table. Call 706-755-2878 or visit The Fresh Beat Band performs at the Bell Auditorium Thursday, October 4, at 6:30 p.m. $29-$119. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit


The Morning Book Club hosts Cameron McWhirter, author of “Red Summer,” at their meeting on Thursday, September 27, at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit

Keith Gregory performs Friday, September 28, at 6:30 p.m. at the Augusta Canal’s Moonlight Music Cruise. Participants are invited to bring snacks and beverages on the hour and a half canal cruise. $25. Call 706-8230440 or visit

Cookbook Club discusses the Taste of Home cookbooks on Thursday, September 27, at 4 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit

Aiken Symphony Guild Classic Concert, featuring guitarist Jason Vieaux, is Friday, September 28, at 8 p.m. at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. $40; $7, for children and students. Call 803-641-3305 or visit

Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit

Aiken Bluegrass Mini-Fest 2012, featuring BlueBilly Grit, Iron Horse, Doug & the Henrys, Copper Thieves, Flipside and Harlan County Hoe Drivers, is Saturday, September 29, from noon-10 p.m. at the Whitney Polo Field. There will also be bocce and cornhole tournaments. Admission is a


Christian Singles Dance, a smoke-, alcohol- and drug-free event for those ages 40 and over, is each Saturday night at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Dance lessons start at 7 p.m., and the dance begins at 8 p.m. No 27SEPTEMBER2012






partners needed. $8, members; $10, guests. Visit

at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit


The Manhattan Short Film Festival shows as part of the ASU Film series on Monday, October 1, at 7 p.m. Maxwell Theatre. $3. Call 706-667-4100 or visit

“Witness for the Prosecution” shows September 27-29 and October 4-6 at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre, with dinner at 7 p.m. and the show beginning at 8 p.m. $25-$40. Call 706-793-8552 or visit “The Wizard of Oz,” an Aiken Kidney Benefit event, shows Friday, September 28, at 8 p.m.; Saturday, September 29, at 3 and 8 p.m.; Sunday, September 30 at 3 p.m.; Friday, October 5, at 8 p.m.; Saturday, October 6, at 3 and 8 p.m.; and Sunday, October 7, at 3 p.m. $25, adults; $20, seniors and children 13 and younger. Call 803-648-1438 or visit Auditions for Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre’s production of “Harvey” are Monday-Tuesday, October 1-2, from 7:30-9:30 p.m. Call 706-793-8552 or visit Auditions for “Eli’s Bethlehem Inn,” a production of the Enopion Theatre Company, are going on now for performances of the musical dinner theater production, which will show November 29-30 and December 1, 6 and 7. Parts are available for men, women and youth 15 and older. Auditions are by appointment only and will be held at the Kroc Center. Call 706-7717777 or visit


“The Hunger Games” shows Friday, September 28, at 7 p.m. (or at dark) at the Columbia County Amphitheater as part of the Screen on the Green series. Participants are invited to bring blankets and chairs. $1 per person; free, kids 3 and under. Call 706-312-7192 or visit “Gone with the Wind” shows Saturday, September 29, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit

“Moonrise Kingdom” shows Tuesday, October 2, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Free. Call 706-821-2600 or visit “Scooby Do Spooky Tales” shows Wednesday, October 3, at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library. Call 803-279-5767 or

Special Events

Porkchop the Party, a Greater Augusta Arts Council Contemporaries event, is Thursday, September 27, from 6-8 p.m. at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Participants will view Leonard Zimmerman’s Love Stories exhibit, enjoy cocktails and appetizers, get their photos taken with a robot and can purchase $5 raffle tickets to win one of Zimmerman’s paintings. Free to current members; $15, for non-members to join or renew their memberships. Visit Small Fry Fun Day, for those in pre-k and first grades, is Friday, September 28, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Bernie Ward Community Center and Fleming Athletic Complex. It includes games, rides, shows and lunch. $2.50, with pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-821-1754 or visit Local author and historian Don Rhodes will speak about the life of Butterfly McQueen and a 1999 audiotaped interview with McQueen by former library Director Gary Swint will be played in an event on Friday, September 28, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit

“The Pirates! Band of Misfits” shows Saturday, September 29, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit

Chilean Stars, a wine tasting led by Excelsior Wines’ John Boshart, is Friday, September 28, at 7 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta. $15, advance; $20 at the door, if space is available. Call 803-279-9522 or visit

“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” shows Saturday, September 29, at 3 p.m.

Last Saturday in the Park, an interactive look at life in the 18th century, is


Saturday, September 29, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at North Augusta’s Living History Park. Free. Call 803-279-7560 or visit Voter Registration Drive is Saturday, September 29, from 1-3 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit The Augusta State University Gala, featuring a concert with Wycliffe Gordon and reception, is Thursday, October 4, at 7:30 p.m. at ASU’s Maxwell Theatre. $30. Call 706-667-4100 or visit Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit Apres Market walking tour of downtown art galleries meets Saturdays at 2 p.m. at the Augusta Market at the River. The tour, which lasts until 5 p.m., includes live painting, children’s reading hours, demonstrations and discounts. Visit The Augusta Market at the River is every Saturday through October 27 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead and features produce, arts and crafts and more for sale, as well as live music and entertainment. Call 706-627-0128 or visit


Mobile Mammography Screenings, offered by appointment, are available September 27 at Willis Memorial Hospital in Millen, October 1 at Shane’s Rib Shack in Evans, October 2 at Belk in North Augusta, October 3 at City of North Augusta, and October 4 at Aiken Fiberglass Yarn. Appointments can be made from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. each day. Call 706-774-4145 or visit Bariatric Seminar is Thursday, September 27, from 6-7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit Weight Loss Surgery Seminar is Thursday, September 27, at 7 p.m. at the GHSU Cancer Center. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-7212609 or visit



Infant CPR Class is Thursday, September 27, from 7-8:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit AngioScreen Vascular Screenings are Friday, September 28, from 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit Weekend Childbirth Education Class meets Friday, September 28, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. and Saturday, September 29, from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-7742825 or visit Prescription Drug Take-Back Day is Saturday, September 29, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. in the Kohl’s parking lot in Evans. Coordinated by the DEA and sponsored by GHSU’s Safe Kids East Central, the event aims to prevent accidental medication poisoning in children. Call 706-721-7606 or visit Family Focused Childbirth Tours begin at 2 p.m. on Monday, October 1, at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Free, but pre-registration is required. Visit Look Good, Feel Better, a program for female cancer patients who want to maintain their appearance and self-image during treatment, is Monday, October 1, from 3-5 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit Childbirth Preparation Class meets Mondays, October 1-22, from 7-9:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706774-2825 or visit Lymphedema Education Class is Tuesday, October 2, at noon at University Hospital. Visit Total Joint Replacement Class is Tuesday, October 2, from 1-3 p.m. at University Hospital. Visit Fresh Start Smoking Cessation meets Tuesdays, October 2-23, from 6-7

p.m. at University Hospital’s cafeteria. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-8094 or visit Weight Loss Surgery and You is Tuesday, October 2, from 6-7 p.m. at University’s Heart & Vascular Institute. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-8931 or visit CSRA Huntington’s Disease Support Group meets Tuesday, October 2, from 6:30-8 p.m. at the MCG Movement Disorders Clinic’s conference room. Call 706-721-2798 or visit Showing and Glowing, a two-session class for those in their second trimesters of pregnancy, meets Tuesdays, October 2 and 9, from 7-9:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit The Daddy Class, a pregnancy and baby care class for men, is Tuesday, October 2, from 7-9 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit Infant CPR Class is Wednesday, October 3, from 6-8 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Free, but pre-registration required. Visit Center for Women Tour is Thursday, October 4, from 7-8 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Classes, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or Martinez-Columbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth. org/safekids. Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for members; $3 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706922-9664 or visit Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual ½-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 or visit


CSRA Dream Catchers, a traumatic brain injury and disability support group, meets Monday, October 1, from 6-7 p.m. at Walton Options for Independent Living. Call 803-279-9611 or visit Parents Healing Together, a support group for those who have lost infants due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or stillbirth, meets Monday, October 1, at 7 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-774-2751 or visit The Lunch Bunch bereavement support group for adults meets Wednesday, October 3, from noon-1 p.m. in Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ cafeteria. Call 803-641-5389 or visit Spine Education and Support Group meets Wednesday, October 3, from 1-2:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free. Visit Amputee Support Group meets Thursday, October 4, from noon-1 p.m. at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. A clinic follows at 1 p.m. Call 706-823-8504 or visit Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. For more information about meetings, call Gerry Nail at 706-855-8636. Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. For more information, call

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required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit

Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. For more information on meetings, as well as for pre-registration, call 706-774-5864 or visit

Common Cents, a six-week budgeting class, meets Thursdays beginning October 4 from 5:30-6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support meets for group counseling. For more information, call 706-7245200 or visit

Active Parenting a Teen, a six-week parenting class, meets Thursdays beginning October 4 from 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit

Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit


Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit

Red Shoe Golf Ball, a benefit for the Ronald McDonald House Charities of Augusta, is Saturday, September 29, from 7-11 p.m. at West Lake Country Club and includes dancing, live music by Bill Tolbert and the New BTUs, a red shoe contest and live and silent auctions. $75 per person; $130 per couple; $500, table of 8. Call 706-724-5901 or visit

Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706-721-9351 or visit

Red Shoe Golf Classic, a benefit for the Ronald McDonald House Charities of Augusta, is Monday, October 1, at the River Golf Club in North Augusta. Call 706-724-5901 or visit


Christmas Assistance Applications are being accepted by the Salvation Army of Greater Augusta October 1-5 from 9-11:30 a.m. and 1-4 p.m. at the First Stop Center on Broad Street. Applicants wishing to sign up for the program, which provides Christmas gifts to children ages 12 and younger, are asked to bring photo IDs of all adults in the household, birth certicates for all children, Social Security cards for everyone, proof of income, proof of expenses, proof of current address, and legal custody papers for nonbirth children. Call 706-922-8330.

Operating Systems and Software is a two-session class that meets Thursday, September 27 and October 4, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit Searching the Internet Class is Thursday, September 27, at 11 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit Email for Beginners Class is Friday, September 28, at 10 a.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit Google School for Beginners is Friday, September 28, at 1:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit Free Lunch and Learn Class, led by nutrition coach Jena Harris, is Tuesday, October 2, from noon-1 p.m. in the Kroc Center Cafe. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Seventy-Five Years of Change in Augusta, October’s Brown Bag History Series lecture by Dr. Lee Ann Caldwell, director of the Center for the Study of Georgia History at ASU, is Wednesday, October 3, at 12:30 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Participants should bring their own lunches; the museum will provide beverages. Free, members; $3, non-members. Call 706-722-8454 or visit Free Cooking Demonstration is Wednesday, October 3, from 5:30-6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-3645762 or visit Let’s Talk: Self-Esteem, a seminar for adult and teen women led by Tara Tanksley Stallings, is Wednesday, October 3, at 6 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit

Central Michigan University is accredited by the Higher Learning Commission of the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools. CMU is an AA/EO institution (see 34457 8/12

The Joy of Signing meets each Thursday from 10:30 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit

Excel Class is Thursday, October 4, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit Word Class is Thursday, October 4, from 1:30-4:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration

Auto Auction Preview, a benefit for the Salvation Army of Augusta, is Wednesday-Friday, October 3-5, from 8 a.m.6 p.m. before the auction on Saturday, October 6, at 10 a.m. at the Salvation Army’s Greene Street location. Those interested can look at the inventory and pay the $5 registration fee to bid during those times. Call 706826-7933 or visit Banksia Comes to Life at Night, a benefit for the Aiken Mid-Day Lions Club’s scholarship/educational fund, is Thursday, October 4, from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Aiken County Historical Museum and includes a wine tasting, food, entertainment and more. $30. Call 803-6422015 or visit


Jaguar Jaunt 5K is Saturday, September 29, at the Maxwell Alumni House on McDowell Street, with registration beginning at 6:45 a.m. and the race starting at 8 a.m. $25. Visit jaguarjaunt/info.html. Safe Boating Course, sponsored by Savannah River Sail and Power Squadron, is Saturday, September 29, from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Boathouse. $40 registration fee includes course materials and refreshments. Pre-registration required. Call 706-737-8113 or email ESi Ironman 70.3 Augusta is Sunday, September 30, at 7:30 a.m. Visit Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. Free, members; $15, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit 27SEPTEMBER2012



INTRODUCING WEIGHT MANAGEMENT and MEAL PLANNING by GOLD'S GYM Included with your Gold’s Gym membership

See your Gold’s Gym fitness professional for a customizable weight management and meal planning program see page 7 for more details

Emotional Eating The Trick to Staying Slim Love to eat? No worries! explains how you can comfort yourself with food and stay thin with these simple ground rules. Your idea of a good time after a bad day is a scoop of dulce de leche ice cream piled high atop a fudge brownie. You’re digging in because each creamy mouthful makes you feel inexplicably happy. Is that really so bad? Surprisingly, emotional eating doesn’t have to be a problem, says Michelle May, MD, author of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat. “Trying to talk yourself out of getting a mood boost from food only sets you up for a bigger overeating problem—like bingeing,” she says. WHY WE SNACK OUR WAY HAPPY “We’re hardwired to eat for emotional reasons,” Dr. May says. “From the moment you’re born and your mother holds you close to feed you, there’s an emotional connection between being fed and being loved. That’s why it’s counterproductive to say to people, ‘Just don’t do it.’” The treats we crave most are packed with powerful natural chemicals that bring on pleasure. Chocolate, for example, contains serotonin and another happy-making neurotransmitter, anandamide. And once that double-fudge brownie makes its way to your stomach, your body responds with a rush of endorphins, giving you a kind of snacker’s high. EMO-EAT ONLY WHAT YOU LOVE Before you crack open the Ben & Jerry’s, though, do what Dr. May calls the “Four-Really Test”: Ask yourself if you really, really, really, really want it. “Reach for something you don’t really want, and you’re likely to eat more of it because it isn’t satisfying,” she says. That’s the danger of answering a craving with a lighter version of what you want or with something else altogether. Not only does it defeat the purpose of giving yourself a gooey treat, but it sets you up for a pig-out. “If I’m not hungry, but I need a little pleasure in my life, isn’t it ridiculous to eat a rice cake?” Dr. May asks. “Not only do I not need that fuel, but it’s not even going to give me the pleasure.” MAKE IT BLOW YOUR MIND Step away from that laptop, TV or tablet, so you can focus fully on the treat you want to eat. Here’s why: If you don’t take a moment to enjoy everything about it, “then the real reason you’re eating it won’t be served,” Dr. May explains, and you’ll be more likely to give in to other high-calorie foods—not to mention more of them. DON’T EAT IT ON AN EMPTY STOMACH “If you’ve had a good meal with protein, vegetables, and a healthy fat, your dessert has a better chance of being emotionally satisfying,” says Julia Ross, director of the Recovery System Clinic in Mill Valley, California, and author of The Diet Cure. “But a lot of people skip meals to save calories and go straight to dessert, so their blood sugar spikes, then crashes, and they end up going back for seconds and thirds.”

Going back for another and another also puts you scary-close to emotional eating’s danger zone: overeating. “There’s no harm in meeting any need with food—unless it becomes chronic or extreme,” Ross says. BAG THE GUILT It’ll strip the pleasure right out of your splurge. “Nobody should feel guilty if they use food to celebrate or feel comfort,” Ross says. Besides, hating yourself for loving that chocolate shake will only make you need another (high-calorie) mood boost. It comes down to this: When you eat to feel good, let yourself feel good. Then move on.

GOLD’S GYM: JUNE 2012 |p.3


Tony Dempsey, owner of Premier Fitness, looked over the 27 participants gathered together in a conference room at the Jameson Inn for the initial weigh in for the Phase 5 Fit to Be Gold Challenge and got their attention real quick. “I want 1,500 pounds lost out of this room,” he said. As the competitors, all of whom are vying for $1,000 in cash, shifted nervously in their seats, Dempsey admitted it wouldn’t be easy, that it would, in fact, be brutally hard, but emphasized that everyone had the ability to lose weight if they kept to the program, listened to their trainers and learned to avoid excuses. “Life gets in the way,” he said. “The kids get sick, the car breaks down, you’ve got to get groceries. All those excuses out there — I don’t want to hear them. If you want this bad enough, you will make it a priority and do what you’ve got to do to make it happen.” Sometimes, making it happen requires a degree of selfishness some find it hard to give. “If you have had an issue putting everything in front of yourself for the last 10 or 15 years — the family, the kids, the job — and you look at yourself in the mirror and say, ‘This is not what I envisioned,’ then remember how that feels and love yourself enough not to feel that way anymore.” This time around, the Fit to Be Gold contestants will have advantages over previous competitors. Gold’s Gym and Premier Fitness, the personal training aspect of the program, are partnering with dotFit, a nutrition counseling company with connections to Dr. Oz and Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo Studios. “In the past, we did some extremely aggressive diets to lose all the weight,” Dempsey said. “We’re still going to do that to an extent, but also what we’re

per month



going to work on, because we have dotFIT, is for you guys to be able to transition into the real world and into healthy lifestyle choices.” According to Dempsey, dotFIT not only helps contestants monitor their activities, it provides a bridge between the intensity of the competition and the wideopenness of the real life that follows. “At the end of 12 weeks, I don’t want you guys to all of a sudden start sliding away and then the weight starts coming back,” he said. “Our goal is to arm you guys with all the tools you need to be able to carry this on for the rest of your life. That’s why we love what we do.” With dotFIT, participants gain a further understanding of what it takes to lose weight in a healthy manner. “You are now not just losing weight, you’re going to get an education about yourself,” said dotFIT’s Nichole Guenther. “And at the end of it, you should know why you lost weight and why you didn’t.” The program allows participants to track calories and assemble meals, though the individual trainers will be handling the contestant’s diets throughout the 12-week contest period. Guenther’s mission statement is pretty simple — it’s all about calories in versus calories out, and there are various ways of tweaking that equation. “We eat more and move less today than in any time in history, but we can choose to be different,” she said. One of the ways to bring the calories in versus calories out ratio into favor is to be as active as possible. Like Dempsey, she emphasized that there are no excuses — only solutions, some of which are

unorthodox. In her case, to get more exercise, she’s rigged up a treadmill desk. “I literally walk eight hours a day,” she said. “Keep moving. Think differently. That little bit of movement ends up to be a big burn at the end of the day.” The dotFIT system, which can include an armband sensor for moment-by-moment monitoring of calorie burning, takes the mystery out of what’s going on with your body. “It will let you see how many calories your body burns, and it will help you see how much you need to eat,” she explained. That “right now” snapshot monitors four physical parameters and is 92 percent accurate. With so many advantages, Guenther said, failure is a choice, not an option. Dempsey seconded that tough love approach by looking back at the last session’s competitors. “The last time we did this, I felt like we had the greatest group,” he said. “Everybody, I felt, was committed. I thought everybody was going to show up and give it their all, but it started with 19 and ended with nine.” That kind of attrition is sad on a number of levels, he said. And unnecessary, since everyone loses weight at a different pace. Someone who only lost two or three pounds after the first month can still lose big the next month, providing they don’t get discouraged. Also, Dempsey stressed that 70 people had signed up to be in the Challenge. “So, if you don’t know what you need to do, not only did you affect yourself, you’ve affected these people, because they could have been in this,” he said.

no commitment | month - to - month

no kidding

*amenities vary by location | $10 per month good at Bobby Jones location only


contestants ARE? Maxine Walter, Augusta

Like so many other women, Maxine Walter began gaining weight after she got pregnant and never really lost it. Now that her kids are 9 and 7, however, she thinks now is as good a time as any to lose the baby weight. “I needed a change and I don’t have any more excuses,” she said. “I started gaining weight when I had my first baby and I never lost any weight after I had the babies, so I thought it was about time that I got back in shape.” Maxine thinks her chances of winning Fit to Be Gold are great and she’s especially excited to begin the exercise portion of the program. “I just want to see how much I can do,” she said, “because I’ve never worked out in my life.”

Chandra Thomas, Augusta

Chandra Thomas found out about the Challenge from the Metro Spirit. “I just happened to pick up that issue and saw it in there,” she said. “I was like — wow, that would be something for me. I have a couple of weddings I’m going to be in and I want to get into the dresses and look good.” Thomas, who works odd hours at the prison, said she would like to lose about 70 pounds. The food she’s going to miss most? “Ice cream!” she said, laughing. “I could eat cartons of it, which is, I guess, why I’m right here now.” Though she doesn’t expect the exercise portion of the training to be as difficult as the nutritional part, she admitted she might have some difficulties in the gym, since she considers herself a non-traditional type of exerciser who’s more of an outside person.

Annette Drowlette, Augusta

Annette Drowlette has two jobs. She’s a computer repair technician at Fort Gordon and is a board member at Mercy Ministries, where she works on a volunteer basis for at least 20 hours a week. That doesn’t leave her much time to cook healthy meals and, as a result, she ends up eating out a lot. It’s also resulted in a 60-pound weight gain since she moved to Georgia. “I decided all the money I’ve been spending eating out I’d put toward a personal trainer,” she said. “I’d like to get back into some old pants.” Her busy schedule also means a less consistent exercise routine, which is one of the reasons joining the Fit to Be Gold challenge appealed to her so much. “I’ve been working out by myself since I’ve been here, but I thought it’d be more motivating working out with someone else.” And while Drowlette would love to win, that’s not her main goal. “Winning the competition to me is just a bonus because you’re going to lose weight if you try,” she explained. “If you’re motivated, you’re going to get something out of it.”

Charles Neil, Augusta

Charles Neil, who’s tried a number of different weight loss methods, including exercise and overall lifestyle changes, decided that trying to lose weight on his own just wasn’t working. “I’ve seen the success of [Phase 4 second place finisher Rob Forbes] and some of the guys who have been in it,” he said. “I know Rob personally, and having seen him lose what he has, I figured it would be something worth exploring.” And advertising professional, Neil has been trying seriously to lose weight for about the last three years. Since turning 50, he’s wanted to get his weight down to where it was when he got married. He’s lost some, but not enough. “I’m still athletic, even though I’m big time overweight,” he said, adding that he’s dreading the first couple of days of training. Despite his athleticism, he expects the exercising portion to be worse than the dieting, since he’s already dieted.

Tamiko Wiles, Grovetown

A stay-at-home mom in a house filled with testosterone, Tamiko Wiles was grateful when a friend mentioned the upcoming Fit to Be Gold challenge to her. “She said, ‘Hey, you’ve been talking about losing weight. Why don’t you get into it?’ So it was put up or shut up,” she laughed. “You know you have a good friend when she calls you on your BS.” The mother of two boys, ages 14 and 3, whose husband was deployed last year, Wiles has been on a yo-yo of weight loss and gain due to pregnancy and stress for the past couple of years. Now, however, she feels like the time is right to spend some time and effort on herself. “I just want to have some adult time, to just be productive. Something for me, I guess,” she said. “I don’t want to sound like a fatalist, but if I reach my personal goal, I’ve already won.”


GOLD’S GYM: JUNE 2012 |p.5

(AS OF 9/12/12)

Maxine Walter


Twanda Parks


Beth Cullum


Charlene Crawford


Karen Luckey


Annette Drowlette


Deborah Canada


Jamie McMahan


Natasha Birt heard about the contest from her sister, fellow competitor Chandra Thomas. “I’ve tried weight loss competitions other places,” she said. “They just didn’t work, because there was nobody to hold me accountable.” Birt looks forward to the competition aspect of the challenge and expected to have the most difficulty with the dieting aspect. “I’m a stress eater,” she said. “I like candy.”

Angela Lowe


Mary White


Tamiko Wiles


Grady Lee


Karen Luckey, North Augusta

Yolanda Cason


Kim Bloodsworth


Wendra Gilchrist


Earl Taylor


Charles McNeil


Chandra Thomas


Nataha Birt


Pam Shivers


Alexis Coachman


George Anderson


Deidra Henley


Tim Bryant


Antoinette Hart


Ophelia Tennyson


Twanda Parks, Augusta

Twanda Parks likes the idea of winning the Fit to be Gold challenge, but to her, making the phone call to join was about much more. “I saw it as a big motivator to jump start my weight loss,” she said. “And winning a thousand dollars isn’t bad either.” Parks, who already works out and has tried other diet plans, knows what’s going to be her biggest obstacle and is looking forward to trying something different to reach her goal. “My biggest obstacle has always been food,” she said. “I was already doing something with that, but this is more about doing the right exercises in conjunction with eating the right foods to maximize weight loss.”

Natasha Birt, Augusta

Karen Luckey’s motivation for wanting to lose weight? “I’ve got a closet full of clothes I can’t fit into anymore,” she said. “I’ve let myself go in the past three years, and I’ve just decided that this might be the motivation I need.” Working 12-hour shifts as SRS, Luckey said that finding time to workout is a constant challenge, but she doesn’t expect that to trip her up. “I know I can do it,” she said. “I’ve done it in the past — I just got lazy, I guess. I just let myself go.” Though she said she’s competitive, she has some apprehensions about the public aspect of the challenge. “It’ll give me the accountability I need,” she said. “I’m just not looking forward to the fact that everything is so public.”

Kim Bloodsworth, Evans

There are many aspects of weight gain that annoy Kim Bloodsworth, but there’s one issue that became too big for her to ignore. “My son wanted me to each lunch with him at school the day I saw the ad, and I was stressing over which jeans I was going to be able to wear,” she said. “But that’s not the main reason I’m doing it. The main reason is that both of my parents are diabetic and that’s the direction I’m headed.” A job switch that has her sitting more and stress eating had caused her to gain a few pounds. And in her active family, that means she can’t keep up. “I have three children and my niece who lives with me now, and I have a stepson,” she said. “We have a pretty big family and we’re active. We went to play tennis last weekend and after about two sets I was dead. I thought, I’ve got to do something so I can keep up with them.” In fact, Bloodsworth said she’s not concerned with winning the contest. “To be honest with you, I didn’t even know there was money involved,” she laughed. “I feel like if I lose one pound, I’m there. As long as I get healthy and I can be active with my children, I’ve won.”






You’ve been counting calories and working out and yet you’re not dropping pounds. What gives?Health. com helps you beat the weight-loss plateau. The answer to your frustration may be hiding out amid the random things you do over the course of an average day—those little habits that have seemingly no connection to weight loss, but may in fact be sabotaging your best get-fit efforts.

It also helps to pick foods that are both healthy and seem like a treat, like a warm bowl of soup with crusty whole-grain bread. DO YOU PAY WITH PLASTIC? Carrying cash may feel a little last century, but people who use a credit card when grocery shopping buy significantly more unhealthy, calorie-dense food than people who pay cash, according to a study in theJournal of Consumer Research. Junk-food buyers were perfectly aware of the extra calories and cost of those treats, but since they didn’t feel the immediate hit in the wallet, they gave in more easily to impulse buys, explains study co-author Kalpesh Desai, Ph.D., associate professor of marketing at Binghamton University. DO YOU USE EXERCISE AS A REASON TO SNACK? There’s a downside to that, says a new French study: Simply thinking about exercise can cause you to eat

Ask yourself these questions, and if you answer yes to any of them, you may have found your personal diet defeaters. Outwit them and you’ll soon be back on track to a leaner, fitter you.

50% more. Why? People assume that the upcoming workout gives them license to snack. Avoid excessive munching with a pre-gym snack of no more than 150 calories, advises Keri Glassman, R.D., author of The Snack Factor Diet. Try two slices of turkey with whole-grain crackers. ARE YOU DESK-BOUND AT WORK? Sit for just a few hours and your body stops making a fat-inhibiting enzyme called lipase, researchers at the University of Missouri–Columbia found. Stand and stretch every hour, and you’ll boost your metabolism by about 13%, says research published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Or, fidget all day (tap your feet or bounce in your chair) and increase calorie burn by 54%. DO YOU SLEEP TOO LITTLE? “Not enough shut-eye puts your body into a carband fat-craving survival mode,” says Michael Breus, Ph.D., author of The Sleep Doctor’s Diet Plan. A study in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that women who slept fewer than four hours ate 300 more calories and 21 more grams of fat the next day. Try this to gauge your sleep needs: For a week, go to bed seven and a half hours before you need to get up. If you awaken before the alarm, you can get by with less sleep. But if you hit snooze, you may need eight, even nine, hours a night to wake up refreshed, recharged.

DO YOU ALWAYS EAT “HEALTHY”? A funny thing happens when you focus on making careful diet decisions. If you just “think” of your meal as a light choice, it can cause your brain to make more of the hormone ghrelin, reports a study from Yale University. “More ghrelin makes you feel less full and signals your metabolism to slow down,” says study author and Ph.D. candidate Alia Crum. To keep your ghrelin balanced, focus on the more indulgent parts of your meal—say, the nuts and cheese on your salad, rather than the lettuce.

per month


no commitment | month - to - month

no kidding

*amenities vary by location | $10 per month good at Bobby Jones location only


Track New program helps Gold’s Gym members manage weight Those who work out sometimes think that entitles them to eat whatever they want. Then they wonder why they aren’t losing weight. A new program being implemented at Gold’s Gym, however, aims to change that. Weight Management and Meal Planning Counseling by Gold’s Gym is currently being made available to all Gold’s Gym members. The web-based program, said Premier Fitness’ Tony Dempsey, takes clients’ personal information and shows them how many calories they burn through exercise and how many they’re taking in through calories. “It’s a real-world approach,” explained Dempsey. “So if you eat a steak and a baked potato, it shows you that you have to burn such and such many calories to stay on your goal. It’s a weight-loss plan for the real world. We’re not going to starve people. It’s a program they can implement forever.” Members of Gold’s Gym need only ask a trainer, who will help them get started with the program. The trainers have been through 15-20 hours of training on the program, and are ready to start helping Gold’s Gym members lose weight. “We’re the only club in Augusta that is offering a program like this, and it’s a phenomenal program,” Dempsey said. “This type of counseling has always been the missing link.” It’s no longer a missing link, however. At least for Gold’s Gym members.


Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered Monday-Saturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722-8878. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit

Aiken Bluegrass Mini-Fest 2012, featuring BlueBilly Grit (pictured), Iron Horse, Doug & the Henrys, Copper Thieves, Flipside and Harlan County Hoe Drivers, is Saturday, September 29, from noon-10 p.m. at the Whitney Polo Field. There will also be bocce and cornhole tournaments. Admission is a donation and festivalgoers are invited to bring picnics and coolers. Call 803-642-8966 or visit

The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch, 100 Wood Street in Augusta, adjacent to the Augusta GreenJackets’ stadium at Lake Olmstead. Experienced rugby players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome, and those interested should bring a pair of cleats (cross trainers will work) a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit or Facebook under the Augusta

Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit

Rugby Club heading. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. $35 a month, members; $50 a month, non-members. Preregistration required. Visit

and Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. at the Aiken County Recreation Center on Jefferson Davis Highway in Graniteville, S.C. $6 per class, with coupons available. Call 706-627-1767. Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or visit

Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit

Zumba Sentao and Zumba classes meet every Monday Call us today at 706.667.9009


Are you so frustrated with your computer you’ve considered tossing it out the window? Is it so slow you can barely use it? Are you having trouble getting to your favorite web page... or facebood? Are you even tempted to teake it to one of those Big Box Stores for service? Think again!


Do you really want the place that sells you envelopes or flat screen TVs working on your computer? Bring it to ComputerOne today... and our real computer guys will make it all better at a price you can afford. We’re the opposite of a Big Box Store. We’re the little store in Fairway Square and although we have our own of computer experts, we dont really call them geeks (at least to their faces). They’re just competent, skilled computer technicians with the know-how to clean up your computer at a reasonable price and get you back on the internet fast. And although we’re not keeping score, given the fact we’re celebrating our 25th anniversary this year, it is very likely we’ve sold and repaired more computers than any other company in Augusta... and we have thousands of satisfied customers to prove it.

Professional Virus & Spyware Removal Services $69.95 About Us | Services | Virus and Spyware Removal | Custom Built Computers | Point of Sale Systems | Driving Directions | Contact Us Copyright 2011 ComputerOne Technology, Inc., All Rights Reserved - Website developed, hosted and maintained by Southfire, Inc. 2825 Washington Rd., Fairway Square Shopping Center, Augusta, GA 30909 - 706.667.9009




5 kilometer Zombie-Filled Haunted Trail Run October 27 | First Heat 2 p.m. Intersection of 3rd Avenue & 31st Bypass Next to the Dinner Theatre | Check-in begins at noon

Registration: (must be 14 years of age or older)

Before October 1 - $25 | October 2-19 - $30 October 20-Day of Event - $35

Apocalypse Party End of final heat until 10 p.m. Party FREE to all 5k participants* & spectators with armbands $5 for those without armbands

Register by calling 706-791-4300 or email Visit for Rules & Regulations (including Awards’s details)

*Includes up to 4 armbands, 1 for participant and 3 for their spectators


863-1946 or visit Tot Story Time featuring a color theme is Wednesday, October 3, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit French Language Class, for those in grades 1-5, is Wednesday, October 3, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Pre-registration required. Call 803-642-2023 or visit What’s in the Box: Make a Mini Model, an activity hour for kids and parents, is Thursday, October 4, from 1011 a.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free, members; $4, non-members. Pre-registration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit YA@AL Ghost Story Contest is accepting submissions online and at the library October 1-19. Call 706-8212600 or visit Kroc Tots Activity Hours, for those 5 and under, meets every Friday from 9-10 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Homeschool PE Time, for those elementary school aged, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; call for non-member prices. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Storytime in the Gardens is each Tuesday in September and October at 4 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens behind the Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame. Local senior adults will read children’s books and each family who attends will receive a free book. Blankets, chairs, drinks and snacks are welcome. If the weather is bad, storytime will move to inside the Weeks Activities Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit Registration is going on now through September 28 at the Weeks Activities Center in Aiken for a Kids Marathon for those in kindergarten through fifth grade. Those who register for the two-month running program will receive a log sheet in which to record their one-mile a day runs. A grand finale fun run of 1.2 miles will be held Saturday, November 3, at 9 a.m. at the Weeks Center Track. Those who complete the 26.2-mile program will receive a %-shirt, race number and finisher’s medal. $5. Call 803-642-7631 or visit Kids Saturdays, featuring local celebrity readers, is each Saturday in September at 10:30 a.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit YA@AL, a new young adult group at the library, is accepted slogans and logos for the new group during the month of September. Entry forms are available online and in libraries and the deadline for entry is September 30. Winners will be announced October 14. Visit Mission to Mars shows Saturdays in September at 7 and 8 p.m. at the DuPont Planetarium in Aiken. $4.50, adults; $3.50, seniors; $2.50, 4K-12th grade students; and $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-641-3654 or visit Preschool Story Time (ages 2 and under) is every Wednesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. KinderCare Story Time (ages 3-6) is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-8212600 or visit Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-772-2432 or visit Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman 27SEPTEMBER2012

Branch Library. Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-736-6758 or visit Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706722-6275 or visit Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-793-2020 or visit Story Time at the Columbia County Library is each Tuesday at 10:15 and 11 a.m. for those under 2; Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. for 2-year-olds; Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 11 a.m. for preschoolers; and Wednesdays for families with kids of all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for Pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or


United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office. Training is provided. Call 803-641-0060 or email Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email


Rape Crisis & Sexual Assault Services

Seeking Volunteer Advocates Seeking volunteers for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson, and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Please contact 706.774.2746 or email for more information.

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MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic support and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held MondayThursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706-796-5046, email or visit Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@

UPSCALE EVANS SPA seeking a nail tech. Booth renters only. Very competitive rent; perfect location; elegant, professional atmosphere.



If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

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Banner Year

Kitchen 1454 celebrates the beginning of its second year with additional staff, dinner service

Kitchen 1454 will celebrate its one-year anniversary in October, and what a year it has been. In addition to serving up quality breakfasts and lunches using local ingredients, chef and owner Edward Mendoza also teaches culinary classes on Saturdays and, beginning in October, the restaurant will be open for dinner on Thursday and Friday nights. “We’ve been doing cooking classes for about six or seven months, on Saturdays from 10 a.m.-2 p.m.,” explains Mendoza. “You can sign up for individual classes through the website and just pick and choose the ones you want. We do something different each week.” Patrons can expect the same level of quality in the evening dinners as with the breakfast and lunch, but with a slight twist. “Dinner service will be starting up in October on Thursday and Friday nights, and what we’re going to do is take 40 reservations each night and that’s it,” says Mendoza. “It’s going to be a prix fixe menu and you’re going to be able to choose a three- or four- or five-course meal, and we are going to have cheese courses.” Additionally, the menu will be tailored for beer and wine pairings. “A beer and wine license is in the works; no hard liquor, just beer and wine,” adds Mendoza, “and we’re going to do pairings. You’re not going to be able to come in and get 15 different beers. We’re going to do the wines or beers that will go best with the foods.” While surviving the first year and being successful enough to offer expanded services is a great feat for any new restaurant, what Mendoza takes the most pride in is his professionally trained staff. “Everybody’s got a culinary degree,” he says. “They’ve all worked in the industry at least five to seven years.” He goes on to talk a little about each member of the team. First there’s Jeff Hudson. “He’s been with me since day one,” says Mendoza. “He’s cooked all over Augusta; he’s been around for probably 18 years, the last 15 at the French Market Grille West. He’s still there at night and he works here during the day.” “Me and Ed worked together at French Market Grille West about 15 years ago,” explains Hudson. “When he got back from Dallas, he came by French Market Grille and said he had a business proposition for me. He gave me his number and told me to come down and check him out. Ever since then, I’ve been here. I’ve learned a lot. Ed being an instructor, I’ve learned a lot of formal things here and I get to work with a lot of foods that I’ve never touched before. It’s a little more challenging because of the variety of foods that we cook. I like the challenge, and I really like my coworkers. We kind of joke around and play all day, but we still get the work done.” 32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989


The next chef to join Kitchen 1454 was Clay Byrd. “He’s from Le Cordon Bleu in Atlanta — before he started working here he spent his time for the last year at the Rooster’s Beak,” says Mendoza. “One of the guys [at Rooster’s Beak] knew Ed,” says Byrd, “and said he thought it would be up my alley, so I came over and talked to him and basically started working the next day. It’s been a blast. I really enjoy what we do here, like the fresh produce and local ingredients and real high quality. I’m learning a lot here. I think the opportunity for professional growth here is by far the No. 1 benefit.” The newest chef to join the team is Ryan Bell. “He was one of my students when I taught at Le Cordon Bleu in Dallas so he’s moved here now,” says Mendoza. “Ed was my first instructor in culinary school, so we kept in contact,” explains Bell. “I left the Dallas-Fort Worth area and moved to Jackson, Mississippi, and stayed in contact — he was a very helpful resource in helping open a buddy’s restaurant in Jackson, and then I came out here Masters Week and worked for him doing the Golf Channel house and decided to move out here.” “Between those three,” says Mendoza, “we have almost 30 years kitchen experience. I think it makes a difference.” Kitchen 1454 | 1454 Walton Way, Augusta Monday-Friday, 7 a.m.-3 p.m.; Thursday-Friday dinner service by reservation only coming in October 706-945-1828 |


September 27 27Thursday, Live Music

Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves & the Coyotes Band French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Jeff Johnston Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Polo Tavern - Cody Webb Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sky City - The Simpletons, Mann Ray Somewhere in Augusta - County Line Surrey Tavern - Rock Out Karaoke w/ Tony Williams and David Heath The Willcox - Classic Jazz Wild Wing - Acosta

Looks like fame hasn’t gone to the heads of the members of Canada’s the Sheepdogs. Despite winning a contest to become the first unsigned band to snag a Rolling Stone cover (the August 18 issue), fans can still pay $12 to see them in Hell. The Masquerade in Atlanta’s Hell, that is. The allages show is Saturday, September 29, at 9 p.m. See them now before, like predecessors the Kings of Leon and the Black Keys, fan-friendly shows like this become a thing of the past.

What’s Tonight?

Casa Blanca - Thursday Tango Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Soup, Suds & Trivia Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

September 28 28Friday, Live Music

1102 - John Berret’s LaRoxes Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise - Keith Gregory Carolina Ale House - Jim Perkins Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Country Club - Chris Lane Band Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves & the Coyotes Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz Fox’s Lair - The Simpletons French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Joe’s Underground - Jerod Gay Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic Midtown Lounge - Granny’s Gin PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Polo Tavern - Mama Says Rose Hill Estate - Celia Gary Shannon’s - Robbie Ducey Band Sky City - The Ramblin Fevers, the Black Iron Gathering Somewhere in Augusta - Ruskin Duo USC-Aiken Etherredge Center - Jason Vieaux Wild Wing - Swingin Richards The Willcox - John Vaughn

What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim 27SEPTEMBER2012

The Playground - Heartless DJs Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

September 29 29Saturday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Old Man Crazy 1102 - The Hollerers The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Cork & Bull - The Bastard Suns Cotton Patch - Steven Bryant Country Club - Thomas Tillman Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves & the Coyotes Band The First Round - My Ohh Miii Fox’s Lair - R2D1 Hephzibah Opry - Bill Whyte Joe’s Underground - Swyrv MAD Studios - Celia, Vicky Grady, Allison Foster Malibu Jack’s - Yesterday’s Dream P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Jim Fisher Band Shannon’s - The Perfect Picture Band Whitney Polo Field - Aiken Bluegrass Mini-Fest 2012 Wild Wing - Playback Band Featuring Tutu Devine

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Karaoke with Beth Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Sky City - DJ 808, DJ Richie Rich, jojo the wonder boy, DJ Orchid Wheels - Live DJ Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

September 30 30Sunday, Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - Buzz and Candice (brunch) Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Crazy Turk’s - Playback The Band with Tutu D’Vyne

Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio The Willcox - Jazz Jam Session w/ Preston & Weston Wild Wing - Kolbeck

What’s Tonight?

Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

October 1 01Monday, Live Music Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere In Augusta - Poker Tournaments Wild Wing - Trivia

October 2 02Tuesday, Live Music

First Round - Open Mic Night Fox’s Lair - John Fisher The Highlander - Open Mic Night Joe’s Underground - Happy Bones The Willcox - Piano Jazz Wild Wing - Sabo & Dave

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia

October 3 03Wednesday, Live Music

Joe’s Underground - Sibling String Malibu Jack’s - Mike Swift Old ARC Parade Grounds - Julia Easterlin, Bean Summer Wild Wing - Acosta



What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - DJ Mike Swift Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - Comedy Zone w/ Julie Scoggins and Russell Ehrett Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey


Janelle Monae, Maceo Parker, Fred Wesley & the New JBs, Funk You - Old ARC Parade Grounds October 4 The Fresh Beat Band - Bell Auditorium October 4 Ruskin - Joe’s Underground October 4 Josh Hilley - Polo Tavern October 4 Joyce Lynn & Khirstin - Augusta Moonlight Music Cruise October 5 Pamela Austin - Cotton Patch October 5 Amanda Daughtry - Country Club October 5 Truth & Salvage Co. - Surrey Tavern October 5 Acosta - Sky City October 6 Tara Scheyer and the Mud Puppies Headquarters Branch Library October 7 Swanee Quintet - Bell Auditorium October 7 Playback The Band with Tutu D’Vyne - Crazy Turk’s October 7 Gregg Allman - Bell Auditorium October 10 Mike Epps - Bell Auditorium October 12 Langhorne Slim & The Law, the Last Bison - Sky City October 12 Mike Epps - Bell Auditorium October 12 Playback The Band with Tutu D’Vyne - Crazy Turk’s October 14 Hinder - The Country Club October 16 Same As It Ever Was (Talking Heads Tribute Band) - Sky City October 18 Dailey & Vincent - Imperial Theatre October 19 Devils in Disguise - Stillwater Tap Room October 19 Modern Skirts, the District Attorneys, Tedo Stone Sky City October 20 AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989



Be Nice

Life would be so much easier if we didn’t always assume the worst This weekend, we wanted to get stuff done at home. We were so happy that we weren’t out of town. We planned to paint two of the bathrooms, clean out cabinets and dust everything. A nice little Saturday. No Bed, Bath and Beyond, no Olive Garden, no Home Depot. It was, however, going to be a productive day. In order to be productive, a big breakfast was in order. So off to Waffle House we went. We always order the same things, and no one ever complains. They get waffles and bacon, The Man gets a bacon egg and cheese omelet, and I have my standard. It’s been my standard since the second time I ate there. Chicken melt plate, double hash browns scattered. A few things have changed over the years. I now have to clarify that I do want wheat toast (no offense to Texas, but your toast isn’t as good) and I would like the grilled onions. So we go about our breakfast. I’ve even got a little notepad out, so we can make a specific shopping list. Does anyone else end up at Lowe’s with only one project in mind, only to leave with a new list of eleventy billion important things that “need to be fixed?” It’s sort of like Target. We can’t stick to a budget. Because this was a Saturday morning, all of the tables at Waffle House were full, and a couple of people waited for one to become available. The Waiting Couple (TWC) must’ve been hungry. While they were waiting, Single Male (SM) walked in. I’m not sure of his marital status or anything. I’m just saying that he was alone for breakfast. He came in and headed straight back to the counter area, where he’d spotted a vacant seat. The man part of TWC grabbed his wife, stood up and hauled tail to catch up with the SM. “WE WERE WAITIN’.” He had a loud, booming voice that caught everyone’s attention. SM looked a little flabbergasted, but he conceded, and walked to another table. His new table was a counter with three available seats. T (formerly) WC got to the seat(s?) that SM had supposedly stolen, only to find that there was only one chair available. They huffed and puffed, walking back to the waiting area. As they passed him, SM said “Would you like these seats? There are three here. I wasn’t trying to cut the line or anything. There’s only one seat back there in the corner.” They weren’t thankful. They weren’t apologetic for their part in the confusion. They sat down in the new seats as if they’d finally found what was rightfully theirs. They were obviously still mad at SM. A few glares and stares proved it to be true. T (formerly) WC wasn’t even trying to hide their disgust. Once T (formerly) WC sat down, SM went back to his original single seat at the bar. As he pulled out the chair, one of his new neighbors said, “Some crazy man’s gonna be sittin’ next to ya. Hope you don’t mind crazy!” They laughed, and SM responded with, “Since he’s my daddy, I s’pose I’ll handle it just fine.” SM’s dad returned from the bathroom and shook his son’s hand. Breakfast at this Waffle House was clearly a regular thing. In spite of that fact, though, SM was willing to give up his seat for the people who’d been waiting longer. Somehow those people never realized his honest generosity and respect for time spent waiting in line. They sat, slumped in their seats, regularly glaring at SM throughout their meal. They were so up in arms about SM being a line cutter, they never paid attention to the reasons he might be doing so.


Why are we so quick to assume someone has bad intentions? I’m guilty. If someone uses the emergency lane to avoid standstill traffic on the highway, I immediately think, “CHEATER.” Maybe that guy’s wife is trying to avoid having their firstborn in the front seat. I think the saying goes something like “be kind to everyone, for you never know what battle they’re fighting.” It makes sense, but I know I’m not the only who needs to be reminded. Poor SM. He was just going to sit with his dad for a weekly breakfast. His dad had gotten up to pee and wasn’t saving his seat. All TWC could think was “hey, that guy is cutting in line! Quick! Hurry up and let him know how mad we are about it!” What about TWC? What could their story be? It’s likely that they never knew that SM ate with his dad. It’s likely that they don’t have a clue that he does that every week. Couldn’t they have been a little nicer, though? Maybe they were just having a bad day. Hell, I had one of those just today. I’m sure I was short with strangers, and I know I was short with my family. I tried and tried to keep a smile on my face. Some days just blow. Saturday might’ve been that day for TWC. There are lots of lessons here, but I can streamline it for ya. The chairs at Waffle House are meant for one person. Two people cannot fit. If TWC had realized that, none of this ever would’ve happened.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.











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Whew, that was a close one. The good guys win out in the end, though. RANK




































â&#x20AC;&#x153;End of Watchâ&#x20AC;?


Police drama transcends what could have been just another â&#x20AC;&#x153;Copsâ&#x20AC;? episode The protagonists of â&#x20AC;&#x153;End of Watchâ&#x20AC;? are two beat police stuck cruising one of the worst districts of south Los Angeles. Every day seems to bring some crazy run-in or other â&#x20AC;&#x201D; fisticuffs with an old crank, houses burning, stabbings, beatings â&#x20AC;&#x201D; which we know because one of the cops, Brian (Jake Gyllenhaal), is recording it all for a class. This gives him and his partner, Mike (Michael PeĂąa), chances to deliver exposition and commentary straight to Brianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ubiquitous cameras, like an episode of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Copsâ&#x20AC;? shot by the cops. As gimmicky as this setup sounds, â&#x20AC;&#x153;End of Watchâ&#x20AC;? winds up being one of the most engrossing police dramas in recent memory. Once writer/director David Ayer (who also wrote â&#x20AC;&#x153;Training Dayâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Fast and the Furiousâ&#x20AC;?) commits to scrapbooking an entire feature out of found footage, he still has to decide how to make a complex story look and sound better than YouTube-grade DIY video; coherent edits alone call for more angles. The filmmakers punt, switching routinely to other cameras that no character could possibly hold, while maintaining the same cinĂŠma vĂŠritĂŠ style. Such inconsistency has torpedoed lesser films. Instead, â&#x20AC;&#x153;End of Watchâ&#x20AC;? rides the best aspects of its style (the veracity, the immediacy, the documentary texture) to an effect thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as hilarious and moving as it is fraught. As indulgent as the viewpoint-tinkering feels, â&#x20AC;&#x153;End of Watchâ&#x20AC;? is meticulously paced with anxiety that climbs and plateaus as rhythmically as a staircase. The scenes of Gyllenhaal and PeĂąa riding in the car, laughing and carrying on, are pure catharsis. The two have such an easy, brotherly chemistry that at times â&#x20AC;&#x153;End of Watchâ&#x20AC;? plays like a two-man romantic comedy. But in unlucky (and unlikely) fashion, they keep riding across characters and grisly scenes that suggest a Mexican drug cartel is doing very bad things on their beat. Our heroes are overmatched, plainly; federal agents tell them as much, and there are enough heart-to-hearts between the two that we cannot figure on them both getting to the end credits in the best of shape. Still, both have everything to live for. Brianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s falling for a girl he can actually have conversations with (the WASPeriffic Anna Kendrick) while Mikeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife since forever (the enchanting Natalie Martinez) is big-time pregnant. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just hard being a

young family man on a shift where the bad guys carry gold-plated machine guns. Whatever the recipe at work here â&#x20AC;&#x201D; two solid leading men, a script packed with just enough bravado, locker room talk done right, a palmful of sugar to sweeten the storyline â&#x20AC;&#x201D; â&#x20AC;&#x153;End of Watchâ&#x20AC;? far outstrips most of the outright consumer fraud that usually passes for cinemaplex fare. Maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not coincidence that it was released on the last weekend of the calendar summer; every year when the kids get back to the homework quagmire the average wide release gets a little smarter, a little more dangerous. â&#x20AC;&#x153;End of Watchâ&#x20AC;? doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take risks so much as nail the landing. Its storyline, so simple on paper, becomes enthralling as we warm to Gyllenhaal and PeĂąa. They feel like real people. As oversimplified as that sounds, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s utterly essential to almost any film, especially one ostensibly framed as an extended home movie. Drop characters like that into a high-stakes world, give them some goals to accomplish, stir some pathos with great secondary family characters and, before you know it, your audience cares deeply, suddenly, what happens next, watching enrapt until the end.


706-855-0068 Locally owned and independently operated franchise A^XZchZYÂ&#x2122;7dcYZYÂ&#x2122;>chjgZY 27SEPTEMBER2012

HEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AN EXPERT














Â&#x2122;IgZcX]aZhhhZlZg lViZga^cZgZeaVXZbZci







“Looper,” rated R, starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Paul Dano. Makeup artists had to cosmetically alter Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s face so that he’d look more like the younger version of Bruce Willis. Looking more like Bruce Willis? That’d make us want to kill him, too.


“Hotel Transylvania,” rated PG, starring the voices of Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez. Maybe James and Samberg will have more luck in this pairing with Sandler than they did with “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry” and “That’s My Boy,” respectively.


“Won’t Back Down,” rated PG, starring Viola Davis, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Holly Hunter. Determined mothers and teachers earnestly try and take over a failing school. You know… for the kids.

WERECOMMEND “Jiro Dreams of Sushi”

When two people in one week tell you to check out a documentary you’ve only heard of in passing, you might want to take their advice. You might just discover a little gem about a little gem named Jiro Ono, considered by most in the food biz to be the greatest sushi chef in the world. Surprising, then, to find the 85-year-old’s 10-seat restaurant, Sukiyabashi Jiro, in a subway station… with no bathroom facilities. More surprising still that Jiro is the first sushi chef to be granted three Michelin stars. Three Michelin stars, by the way, is the highest honor a restaurant can attain for “exceptional cuisine, worth a special journey.” And many people do make a special journey down the steps into the Tokyo subway station. “Jiro Dreams of Sushi” (and he really does) is a beautiful doc about a cherub-faced man who still believes, despite all the praise heaped upon him, that he hasn’t created the perfect piece of sushi. It’s also the story of his older son, Yoshikazu who, unfortunately, is fated to one day take his father’s place. The father-son relationship is complicated enough; throw in the fact that many say you have to be twice as good as your father to just be considered equal? Well, that might break a lesser man. Yoshikazu seems resigned but game for the challenge, but let’s hope it’s a responsibility he doesn’t have to face for a few more years yet. 40 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989



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Quality Over Quantity

Tiny TASTE has evolved from a tapas and wine bar to a fine-dining destination

TASTE may have opened as a trendy tapas and wine bar, but Proprietor Brian Bridgers and Executive Chef Dave McCluskey have their sights set even higher. Much higher. “Generally, you open a new restaurant and you begin to evolve,” McCluskey explained. “As you can see, we’re casual fine dining (and I emphasize the word ‘casual’). We’re not white tablecloths. But that’s not to say that we’re not trying to be one of the very best restaurants in the area. We most certainly are and that’s what Brian and I are both pushing for; to improve upon ourselves every day. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don’t, but we’re having a lot of fun.” One look at TASTE’s menu and it’s evident how much fun the kitchen staff is having. They make their own ricotta cheese, cure and grind their own meats and experiment with molecular gastronomy. A recent weekend, TASTE offered diners a deviled egg… but not just any deviled egg. “Tonight we’re featuring a deviled duck egg that’s a little bit spicy because it’s made with sriracha [a Thai hot sauce] and topped with duck bacon,” he explained. “The duck bacon is a smoked duck breast that is sliced and cooked like bacon. And we’re using local duck eggs from Crossed Star Farms and duck breasts from North Carolina.” Those wishing to keep up with TASTE’s daily specials and special event dates should visit their Facebook page (TASTE), which is updated throughout the day. New diners may love the featured daily specials like the aforementioned deviled duck egg and their entrées such as the slow-cooked Heritage pork shoulder with Maker’s Mark and Kentucky sorghum molasses glaze, served with whipped Yukon potatoes and Rawls Farm sweet braised collards, but there is one dish they make a special trip for: TASTE’s House Skillet Burger. “I can’t make enough of them,” McCluskey said of the creation. “Not to toot my own horn, but I have people telling me that it’s the best burger in town.” The House Skillet Burger, which features fresh-ground Angus grass-fed beef from Eubank Farm and Caw Caw Creek pork shoulder on a potato bun with homemade cheese, tomato jam and crispy Vidalia onions, came about after Bridgers asked McCluskey to serve a hamburger that diners could eat at the bar. “My dilemma in looking at that burger is I wanted to do a burger with natural, grass-fed beef,” he said. “The issue with buying grass-fed beef is it doesn’t have the marbling that we’re used to seeing in beef.” Less marbling means less fat, and less fat often means a very dry hamburger. And the idea of serving a dry hamburger was something that didn’t appeal to McCluskey. As he was mulling over the problem, he said, he happened to be cutting up some Caw Caw Creek pork for another dish and the answer came to him: Combine the two meats for a deeper flavor and a better texture. And it worked. “I make 20-30 a day and it’s first come, first served,” he said of the House Skillet Burger. “It’s a top-quality product and we’re selling all of them.” Bridgers and McCluskey recently made it a little easier for those who want to sample the elusive dish to nab it before the kitchen runs out: a couple of weeks ago, they added lunch service. 42 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989


The addition of lunch is gradually taking off, but it’s not the only changes that Bridgers, McCluskey, Sous Chef Jason Rothkin and staff are making. The coming of fall means new, heartier dishes on the menu, new fall desserts from Pastry Chef Aaron Darch and a new batch of fromscratch cocktails in the works, including a spiced rum that they plan to age in a bourbon cask. McCluskey and Bar Manager Paul Covey have also re-written the wine list, a list that now boasts 100 bottles, and are preparing for a wine dinner October 9 and a beer dinner that will follow at a later date. The same care, McCluskey said, goes into the drinks TASTE serves as it does into the food. “We have about 35 bottles of craft and import beer on what we call our Church Key beer list. Most all of them have a 90-plus rating from Beer Advocate and,” he explained. “Again, kind of due to our limitations in space, my thought on doing a beer list was that I’d rather go quality rather that quantity. There’s a lot of research that goes into what we’re doing.” And that research is paying off. Though TASTE can accommodate approximately 50 guests inside the restaurant and an additional 30 on the sidewalk patio — and don’t worry, heaters are on the way for the upcoming winter season — they’re fully booked up most weekend nights. It’s something McCluskey said is due to the creativity and unexpectedness of both the restaurant and the menu. “Are we a small plates and tapas wine bar or are we a nice restaurant or just the right mix of each?” he rhetorically asked. “We’re still kind of feeling ourselves out, but Brian and I have a solid idea as to where we’re going with this thing. In the simplest of terms, we’re continually evolving with an eye on continuing to evolve.” Owner Brian Bridgers added, “The unique setting we enjoy here in Hammond’s Ferry, the quaintness of the restaurant itself, the ambiance (from the art to the lighting to the music), the menu and all the other intangibles came together rather nicely. The place is simply charming. It’s chic. It’s metropolitan. It has a big city feel about it. Sometimes you forget that you’re in the Augusta area. We think we have something really unique going for us. My vision was and still is to make this place extra special.” TASTE Hammond’s Ferry: 465 Railroad Avenue, North Augusta Wednesday-Saturday, lunch from 11 a.m.- 3 p.m. and dinner from 5:30 p.m.-until Reservations encouraged | 803-341-9881 | 27SEPTEMBER2012




On October 27, lace up your sneakers, bring your best friend and join us for a fun filled day at Evans Towne Center Park to raise money for our homeless furry friends in the CSRA. The day begins at 10 a.m. with our second annual Mutt Strutt pet walk sponsored by Diamonds in the Ruff CSRA, Inc. Dress Fido in his or her best Halloween costume and enter our contest! Enjoy demonstrations by talented, well trained and FAST dogs in the park or stop by our kissing booth and grab a big fat smooch. Plan to have lunch in the park from one of our super vendors, boiled peanuts, candy apples, cotton candy and live entertainment. Last year’s inaugural event at the Augusta Commons was a huge success. Thanks to everyone who came out and supported this very worthy cause. Diamonds in the Ruff is a 501(c)3, non profit, all volunteer organization with a mission of raising awareness in our community on the importance of spay/neuter, and raising money to help rescue groups with their daily needs such as medical expenses and food. Rescue groups would not exist without financial help and volunteers. If you love animals and have some time on your hands, I encourage you to contact one of the local groups and volunteer. It’s also a great way to educate children on the humane care of companion animals and become involved in the community. Our goal this year is $25,000! Our sister city, Columbia, South Carolina raises $100,000 each year at their annual pet walk and other groups around the country raise much more! Organize a team or walk as an individual or family. Monitor our progress online at! If you don’t have a dog, walk a recue! We will help make that happen. Just email!! Registration is available on our website or the morning of the event beginning at 8:00 a.m. Walk for the homeless and save lives. Our furry friends are counting on you!

Upcoming Events

That’s What Friends Are For, Inc and Village Deli Rummage Sale, Bake Sale and Pet Adoptions. Behind The Village Deli Saturday, September 29 | 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Put on by That’s What Friends Are For, Inc and Village Deli and Friends to benefit animal rescue work. Donations of any items (except clothing) to sell and baked goods are still being accepted. 706-736-3691 | Pet A Palooza NJ’s Grooming, 523 Shartom Drive Sunday, October 14 | 3-8 p.m. | 706-364-5404 PawPrints’ Wags to Wishes Taylor BMW | Saturday, October 20 | 7-10 p.m. Includes music, live and silent auctions and more Diamonds in the Ruff’s Mutt Strutt Evans Towne Center Park | Saturday, October 27 | Starting at 10 a.m. Includes a dog walk, Halloween costume contest, kissing booth, vendors and more. | CSRA Humane Society’s Pet A Fair Julian Smith Casino | Sunday, October 28 | Noon Contests, raffles, auction and more. 706-261-7387 | Santa Paws’ Santa and Pets Pictures Pendleton King Park | Saturday, November 10 | 8 a.m. Holiday pictures with your pets and family. Sponsored by Jennifer Weaver, photographer, and That’s What Friends Are For. Inc. 706-736-3691 |

Special Events

Pawprints Event | Taylor BMW Saturday, October 20 | 7-10 p.m. For more information, visit $XJXVWD+XPDQH6RFLHW\RIIHUVREHGLHQFHFODVVHVWZLFHHDFK\HDU¬ For more information, call 706-736-0186.

Ongoing Adoption Events

PETCO 4209 Washington Road, Evans Saturdays, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Sundays, 1-4 p.m. PetSmart 225 Robert C. Daniel Parkway, Augusta Saturdays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Tractor Supply 596 Bobby Jones Expressway, next to Sam’s Club Saturdays and Sundays from 1-4 p.m.








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An Unhappy Pair

Google and Muslims at odds over Mohammad video Google and the Muslim community have not had the best couple of weeks given that whole Muslim video thing. Personally, I find some of our responses hypocritical. We’ve been told for years that incredibly grotesque artistic expressions such as Piss Christ (btw, sponsored with tax dollars through the National Endowment for the Arts) must be protected at all cost. Yet we now have to apologize to the world and censor the internet because some whack-o creates a video disparaging the Prophet Mohammad? I’ve only watched parts of the video… it’s too ridiculously annoying to watch the whole thing… but in what I watched, I didn’t see anything worse than Jesus submerged in urine. (Just saying...) The world may not like it, but true freedom can be ugly. God Bless the United States while we still have it! At any rate, Google unilaterally censored the video in Egypt and Libya, as well as blocked the video at the request of a number of other countries. Also, Iran has completely blocked Gmail and partially blocked Google search. I’m not sure where this is headed, but it’s not starting off in a good way. Fighting Tyranny Is No Excuse to Be a Tyrant — We still have problems with our own government continuing to take rights that we haven’t granted. Two weeks ago, the House extended the FISA Amendments Act. This act permits the NSA to collect electronic communications without a probable-cause warrant (“warrantless wiretapping”) as long as one of the parties is believed to be outside the United States. As with other power grabs, the scope of the law has been expanded through “interpretation” to allow collection of purely domestic communication if the real target is al-Qaida. The current law has no mechanism for public accountability, so we don’t have any real idea what is being collected. The government does not have to provide any information on the amount or type of information collected or the targets of the surveillance. Most disappointing to me is the reported unwillingness of the House leadership to consider basic reporting and surveillance safeguards to protect our Fourth Amendment rights. Yes, we are fighting terrorists that don’t care about our Constitution. But if we give up our freedom in the process, what’s the point? Fortunately, not everyone is on the warrantless wiretapping bandwagon. Zoe Lofgren, representing Silicon Valley, recently introduced a bill requiring police to obtain warrants to obtain e-mail, cloud data and cell phone tracking information. Current police


guidelines are based on legislation passed in 1986, well before internet technology was established. The new legislation is backed by a large group of technology companies, bipartisan and non-partisan advocacy groups called the Digital Due Process coalition. Members include Amazon, ACLU, Apple, AT&T, Electronic Freedom Foundation, Freedom Works, Facebook, Google, Microsoft and many others. The coalition’s objective is to update and simplify electronic surveillance rules to protect Fourth Amendment rights while ensuring law enforcement retains its ability to protect the public. Law enforcement organizations have already voiced strong opposition to similar bills, so a heated debate is sure to come. For the record, on the FISA Amendment Act vote, John Barrow, Jeff Duncan and Joe Wilson all voted against your freedom. Paul Broun didn’t bother to vote. Goodnight, iPad — When our kids were younger, my wife and I conducted a night time ritual that included reading the classic “Goodnight, Moon.” After saying good night to the light, the red balloon, the cow jumping over the moon and the bowl full of mush, we would say our good nights to the girls and quietly leave them to their dreams. Times have changed, and Margaret Wise Brown no longer provides the framework for evening ritual. Our nighttime routine is more adequately documented by the story Goodnight, iPad written by Ann Droyd. In the bright, buzzing room, there was an iPad… and a bird launched over the moon… If you haven’t seen the story, the parody is available on You Tube (Google: Goodnight, iPad); however, I would recommend getting the book. For those of you that read “Goodnight, Moon” to your kids, this story describes how your precious and inquisitive children have been infected with technology-acquired ADD. Spoiler alert: The old lady who says hush, 1. Technology, 0. Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.




Michael Johnson

Kevin and Paige Hyman with Keryl and Billy Corley at Safe Homes’ Fifth Annual Casino Night at the Legends Club.

Alison Stewart, Dana Dickerson, Jessica Osborne and Emily Smith at Safe Homes’ Fifth Annual Casino Night at the Legends Club.

Darren and Diane Lopardo with Emma and Captain Ken DeMars at Safe Homes’ Fifth Annual Casino Night at the Legends Club.


Josh and Aimee Howlett with Kim and Dan Durden at Somewhere in Augusta.

Angela Martin, Larane Fraijo, Executive Director Aimee Hall and Mary Young at Safe Homes’ Fifth Annual Casino Night at the Legends Club.


Monai Tripp, Ashton Redman and Maliah Johnson at Masterworks 1 by the Columbia County Orchestra in the Jabez Sanford Hardin Performing Arts Center.

Jennifer Bieller, Sheila Gill, Fumiko Malave and Cassey Broderick at Wild Wing.

Jordan McKinney, Jessica Hawkins, Jessica Brookins and Luke Blankenbeekler at Wild Wing Cafe.

Michael Johnson

Meagan Burkett, Sharon Rogers and Tonya Prescott at Robbie’s Sports Bar.

- Kenny, Owner of Aces and Eights Tattoo & Piercing





LINE Westobou must be delusional. Just because you plaster posters all over town does not change the fact that noone has ever heard of any of the artists in your festival. $30 tickets doesn’t help much either. Would not surprise me if this wasn’t around next year. How many RCBOE/RCSS educrats will earn orange jumpsuits after the USDOE’s OIG completes its audit of the RCSS’s Title I programs? not sure if anyone even knows or cares but 2 years ago a former veteran in the military, feliz vega,


who also suffered from ptsd and was on paxil unsuccessfully robbed a bank of america with a paintball gun. he was sentenced to life in jail for armed robbery. maybe its just me but i definitely dont think thats fair. its overkill. why isn’t this story in the news. it happened right here in augusta, ga.

Out of respect, after a long time of not doing so, I picked up the latest issue of the Spirit....and quickly put it back down. The idiotic whines and silly editorials posted on the first few pages abruptly reminded of the bitterness this publication breeds, and how much better my outlook on life got after I stopped dipping into this weekly



Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

drivel of the ugly side of Augusta. Sorry. Y’all have fun. Carry on. If you are so handicapped that you can’t park in a handicap spot correctly, it’s time to hang up the keys grandma. Why aren’t we testing these senior drivers? They are HORRIBLE drivers. WAY worse than a drunk driver. 15 million dollars to relocate the residents of Hyde Park! Are you kidding me? Has any one deciding this ever been to Hyde Park? If they didn’t have problems with contamination or flooding the place would STILL be a dump. My guess is not a single piece of property there has ever been worth more than a few thousand at best. I’m all for helping those people relocate but don’t put them in new 100K home

and make ME pay for it. Figure an adjustment on fair market value and give them what their property would be worth if it were in another neighborhood. Since the courts will not allow for their execution-convicted drunk drivers guilty of vehicular homicide should be sentenced to stay in prison as long as their victims remain dead. I was thinking if Obama loses some folks will be out of a job. Fox news team. Fair and balanced. Class clowns rush Limbaugh and Michael savage.they want be able to bash Obama all day.what do we get a talk show host. In Romney.and a used car salesman.





FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12 4:00 P.M. 4:00-8:00 P.M. 6:45 P.M. 7:00-10:30 P.M.












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Gordon Highway

Metro Spirit 09.27.2012