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METRO SPIRIT August 7-13 Vol. 15 No. 1

Augusta’s Independent Voice

r u s o d i d a e T Ro s Odd i t ie

2 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3



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Contents Metro Spirit

3 M E T R O S P I R I T

A U G U S T 7 - 1 3 • F R E E W E E K LY • M E T R O S P I R I T. C O M



Roadside Oddities Tour By Brian Neill....................................................................18


Cover Design: Natalie Holle

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“Reefer Madness” By Brian Neill ..........................................................................16

Opinion Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ...............................................................................4 This Modern World .........................................................4 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ............................................5 Suburban Torture ............................................................6 Letter to the Editor .........................................................7 Guest Column .................................................................8 Commentary .................................................................10 Austin Rhodes ...............................................................11 Insider ............................................................................12

Metro Beat

Kolb’s Drop-Dead Date ................................................14



Peeking Inside Violins ..................................................35 “The Importance of Being Earnest” Is One of Many ACP Membership Perks ...............................................36


8 Days a Week .............................................................28

Liz Phair Appears at On The Bricks..............................................28

Just down from Bobby Jones Ford Across from La-z-boy

Cinema Movie Listings .............................................................37 Close-Up: Jamie Lee Curtis .........................................40 Review: “S.W.A.T.” .......................................................41 Movie Clock ..................................................................42

Music Sugarland Brings Sassy Country to the Soul Bar .......26 Sulcus Groove Juggles Responsibility and Rock ........43 Music by Turner ..............................................................44 Music Minis ....................................................................46 Night Life .........................................................................47

Stuff Food: Le Café Du Teau .................................................24 News of the Weird ........................................................50 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ......................................51 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................51 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................52 Date Maker ...................................................................53 Classifieds .....................................................................55

3526 Wrightsboro Rd


METRO SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809



4 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3

Whine Line I

have a friend who lives in Aiken and has fought for several years a running battle with squirrels. He is a kind soul and traps the little pests but does not kill them. He takes them off. I asked where he releases them and he told me Augusta. I was intrigued by his traveling such a distance and asked why. He said he started turning them loose in Augusta so they could be with the other squirrels that are sitting on the Augusta-Richmond County Commission. I told him that was very unfair to the Aiken squirrels. Can anyone explain why those automobile company pitchpersons have to scream and shout in the automobile commercials that appear on television? Honest to goodness it’s enough to drive you crazy. When one of the commercials comes on I reflexively hit the mute button on my TV clicker. Why has no media other than the Spirit’s Whine Line mentioned that the police responded to a domestic disturbance call at Austin Rhodes’ home? He spends every day slamming other people and sharing their dirty laundry? We need a real newspaper in this town. If giving money for the fight against AIDS in Africa and giving tax breaks to poor, working class families constitutes liberalism (Bush is in no way a liberal), then most people should be thankful, because this is what America should stand for. As I get older, I see that Democrats have more common sense than most Republicans and more concern for people and domestic issues. Well, it seems that the management of Channel 26 is now the sole determiner of what we get to watch. They decided not to show the NBC show “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” because they thought they would offend local sensibilities. Isn’t it

odd that they were the only station in the United States to do that? Does the Channel 26 management think they know more than we do about what is good for us? Only in Augusta would the NBC affiliate bump the 9:30 Thursday night showing of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” to 2:35 in the morning and show a rerun of “Home Improvement” instead. It’s ignorant homophobics like them that help keep this city down. No doubt they use some nonsense about “community standards” to justify their own bigotry! Way to go Channel 26! Whenever good citizens start lining up to run for public office, the drunks in the bleachers start throwing wine bottles (empty, of course) at them. I must give Sonny Pittman credit for several things: (1) He is active and involved; (2) he wants to serve in a “hot seat” that most of us wouldn’t touch; (3) he is an excellent communicator and wants to keep us informed about important issues; (4) he is a change agent; and (5) he is a retired military officer with nearly 30 years of service to his country. For those of us who would like to see such a fine man elected to replace another in Augusta’s Commission District 10 seat, Sonny’s candidacy can’t come soon enough.

Words “We had every reason to believe it was a gator.” — Steve McClain, spokesperson for the University of Florida, told the Orlando Sentinel last week after it was discovered that what Florida officials thought was an enormous gator on the front of Florida’s 2003 media guide for the upcoming football season turned out to be a crocodile. Must have been chosen by a Florida graduate.

we are asked to make. But then we also have to deal with flag-burners and analretentive old men like you who are unsupportive and ill-informed as to what’s really going on in today’s military. Marion Williams is the perfect example of the old adage “Give a man some rope, and he wants to be a cowboy” Based on all of the recent comments regarding Judge Wheale, I think he should have opposition at the next election.

In case you’ve not seen it, there is a large billboard out on Washington Road in Martinez (well done I might add) castigating Republican Congressmen Norwood and Burns for their lack of action for veterans.

Webster’s defines “rebel,” “one who resists the lawful authority as of a government: revolter: revolutionist: one who is defiant.” I see nothing prejudicial. Why should that local school be forced to change its mascot/nickname?

I would like to reply to the rude retired military man who called deployed personnel and their families idiots. Of course military members and their families complain. It’s because when we return home from a deployment we get screwed over by our government, who pay us jack regardless of the sacrifices

An at-large, elected school board chairman in Columbia County? Just remember Rep. Ben Harbin and Sen. Joey Brush’s behind-the-scenes maneuvering to get an at-large elected commission chairman resulted in Ron Cross’ entry into the political arena. Can the county afford another dumb political referendum?

Am I the only black person who feels that every time somebody black is accused of a crime, that the whole race is on trial? Is there anyone else who feels that our so-called black leaders talk at us instead of to us and are not standing up for what we really need, but are just looking out for themselves? But my main question to fellow blacks is how many of you are just as relieved as I am that most of us don’t live long enough to have to face the woes of becoming a senior citizen? OK … with all the recent hype about Augusta Regional Airport (Continental and Delta flights), why in the world would someone want to pay $670 (Delta) for a round-trip flight from Augusta to Chicago when you could save $439 by flying out of Atlanta. The prices were about the same (give or take 20 bucks) for Continental. Nothing has changed (price-wise) at that airport. By the way … this flight is for November, not next week ... It sounds like Congressman Charlie Norwood is in bed with the big money

developers. Norwood recently introduced a bill that would return 84,000 acres of federally owned land around Lake Thurmond to the counties in which the land is located. Hotels dotted all around Lake Thurmond — what a travesty that would be! Let’s hope that Duncan Wheale is removed from the courts. I see Andy “Why Can’t We All Get Along” Cheek has been writing into the Whine Line again last week. I have many opinionated, funny friends who also love to read the Spirit. Then why is it that your Whine Line is full of sevenparagraph treaties about the school board, or nine-paragraph whines concerning some loser considering running for some seat. Why doesn’t anyone cool whine? I read with great interest the article about the local NBC affiliate choosing not to air “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” OK. It’s not surprising. The thing that caught my attention, though, is when the station GM claimed he had received

“2,800 e-mails” imploring him not to air a specific “Tonight Show” episode because of some planned dirty puppet routine. Oh, Pleeeeze. I read three papers a day and every national magazine I can get my hands on, and never heard of this. And you want me to believe: (1) that almost 3,000 people that simple-minded actually own computers; (2) That almost 3,000 people that actually live in Augusta and watch TV were so offended by this notion that they fired off an email to you; (3) That almost 3,000 that simple-minded stay up past 10 p.m. in the first place? Let me get this straight: Billy Morris wants a new civic center, the arts community wants a new arts center, the judges want a new judicial center, the golfers want a Golf Hall of Fame and now some guy wants to build a new baseball stadium on the Riverwalk? Meanwhile, dozens of buildings are empty all over downtown and in Richmond County, most notably the enormous white elephant, Regency Mall. It doesn’t take a lot of logic to figure this one out, now does it?


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Congratulations parents. You can send your children to any public school in Georgia and not worry about it being a “persistently dangerous” campus. According to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, there has not been a school in Georgia that for three years in a row reported members of its student body being charged with a serious crime such as murder, rape, armed robbery

or aggravated child molestation. Georgia schools also have not had a case in which 2 percent of a school’s population was charged with weapons possession, making terroristic threats or drug possession within that same three-year period. Whew! What a relief. Your kids might not be getting a great education, but at least they’re not going to get shot.

Thumbs Down It’s sad when a predominantly black church in Shreveport, La. has to resort to doling out its own dollars to achieve a diverse congregation. Greenwood Acres Full Gospel Church reportedly started a new campaign last week which pays whites $5 an hour to attend church on Sunday and $10 an hour for a Thursday night service. According to

the Associated Press, the church’s bishop, Fred Caldwell, believes God is sick of America being segregated on Sunday. “God wants a rainbow in his church,” Caldwell was quoted as saying. Well, let’s hope whites who decide to take Caldwell up on his offer realize God may want diversity, but it shouldn’t have to come at a price.

A person should be considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. However, someone accused of sexually assaulting a 19-year-old girl in Colorado maybe should think twice about accepting a Teen Choice Award for favorite male athlete of the year. According to The

Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Bryant, along with his wife, attended the Teen Choice Awards — which was taped on Saturday, Aug. 2 but aired on Fox on Aug. 6 — where the L.A. Laker accepted his award. Kobe Bryant: Today’s role model for teens.


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continued from page 5 Chris Kane, Channel 26 sports anchor, ruffled my feathers when he commented after the Bridges Golf Tournament Monday night, between Mickleson and Garcia and Woods and Els, as if anybody cared. After he commented about the match he said, “As if anybody cared.” Well, I cared and I am sure thousands of other fans enjoyed the match. That remark lowered my opinion of him as a sportscaster. The sponsors surely cared or they would not have spent 2.2 million dollars in prize money. Watch your tongue, Chris! The Spirit just made Sonny Pittman famous! I don’t know the dude, but at least he can put two sentences together, which is more than some of our commissioners can. I would like to thank Ed Turner, whom I have known for years and who has the best show that I have ever heard. I wish they had him on every day of the week and he knows his music. Does anyone know where Dr. Owings formerly of First Baptist has gone? I would like to follow, because First Baptist is not where I want to be! I would like to say that Judge Duncan Wheale is probably one of the finest judges around here. If they would check, just about every judge carries a gun and I don’t blame them. So many judges and lawyers have been killed by people in the courtroom. If I were there, I would carry a gun too! I’m tired of hearing about Judge Wheale and his antics. I would like to hear of someone investigating other judges and looking into things like some of the judges throwing books at attorneys in court, calling defendants derogatory names based on their ethnicity, taking children away from their parents without the appropriate court hearings and making sure family members get cushy jobs at higher pay than their predecessors do. This is in support of Judge Duncan Wheale. He is very supportive of victims

of domestic violence and child abuse. He is a man that stands by his convictions and in the face of adversity. Therefore, he steps on political toes. Judge Wheale volunteers with the Salvation Army, Augusta Sports Council, Safe Homes, Warren Baptist Church and many other organizations in this town. Just wanted to know what other judges that we have working for us volunteer their time like Judge Wheale does? Dear Wal-Mart: Apparently you have forgotten that no matter how much stuff you put in your stores, you can’t make any money if I can’t get through the check-out line. So much for your promises to open more lines ... oh, and sorry about you having to put all that stuff back ... The fountain’s working again. Yaaay. Maybe we can get a band or two at the amphitheater. Thank you on your article on John Mann bumping “Queer Eye”. I was very disappointed to miss the show when I tuned in that night. Of course, regardless of what John Mann said it was censorship! And it was mentioned in a New York Times article entitled “Gay-Themed TV Gains a Wider Audience” that Channel 26 was the only NBC affiliate to not show it at that time. Thank you John Mann and Channel 26 for making Augusta look like a bigoted city to all of America. What happened to Rebecca and John in the mornings on WBBQ? Is News-Times editor Barry Paschal a political prognosticator? Not! And State Representative Barry Fleming isn’t going to be appointed judge either. Paschal thought Fleming’s hob-knobbing with the governor gave him an inside track for the appointment, but Gov. Perdue fooled them both. Too bad! — Call our Whine Line at (706) 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to


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Letters to the Editor

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Downtown Stadium Addresses “Big Picture” Dear Editor, I think David Moretz proposed an excellent idea for a new stadium. Don’t get me wrong; the Lake Olmstead stadium is a beautiful venue. I should know, as I am one of the fans you’ll see there many home games. Our current stadium’s price tag was approximately one-fifth of some other cities’ stadiums. Why (or how) does one of the largest MSA’s in Georgia continue to under-develop almost everything it touches? It sounds like a Catch-22 when it comes to luring new business to the area. I can hear the sales pitch right now: “We’re not a very big city, and we don’t have many attractions, but if you move here, we’ll look into adding some things like that.” Augusta, it’s time to start putting your money where your mouth is.

We need to look at the “big picture” for Augusta and develop plans congruent to socio-economic improvement through means of increased tourism and gentrification. These things do not happen overnight or without area attractions; people do not go out of their way to see (or live in) cities that offer nothing exciting or out of the ordinary. Imagine a possible downtown Augusta in 10 years with a beautifully landscaped Riverwalk that serves as the hub to all things downtown. Within walking distance you could have the new baseball stadium, Augusta Golf and Gardens, Springfield Village Park, the Morris Museum of Art, Augusta Commons, the National Science Center, Artists’ Row and plenty of restaurants, hotels and nightlife venues. Other cities such as Greenville, Savannah and Charleston


Mixed Colors

have exactly this; a large number of fun things to do in a small space. If space permits, then a stadium next to the Augusta Golf and Gardens would be a wonderful attraction. The whole point is so that people stay around the area near the stadium. If you alienate the stadium geographically, then once the game is over, the people leave. Regardless, downtown needs to be developed so that people will want to congregate. Kudos to Augusta Tomorrow ( for a great start (i.e. Augusta Common). Two axioms come to mind. If you build it, they will come. If you don’t build it, you’ll never know.

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Opinion: Guest Column

SPLOST Idea: Out of Left Field at the Wrong Time


really appreciated David Moretz’s ideas in his July 24th guest column. No doubt, he made a sincere and worthwhile presentation to members of the Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax (SPLOST) citizens committee. His heart is in the right place. He cares about downtown Augusta and makes his livelihood convincing businesspeople to take a chance on leasing space there. It’s a hard sell, which has gotten easier because of enthusiastic, creative people like him. His “baseball for culture” trade is intriguing. He is recommending that city leaders take part of the approximate $300 million in sales tax funding to move Lake Olmstead Stadium to downtown Augusta. However, his timing is off by more than 10 years. His idea to displace the Augusta Golf and Gardens at the Georgia Golf Hall of Fame came out of left field. It seems wrong to me and I don’t feel it will ever happen for many reasons, but more on that later in the column. First, in fairness to Mr. Moretz, he has some good points. He mentioned a downtown baseball stadium would increase traffic in downtown Augusta. A game would prove to be a great companion to a stroll on the Riverwalk, a visit to the Morris Museum and dinner, etc. He’s right. When my family goes to a game on Lake Olmstead, we go straight to the ballpark and go home. The stadium is sort of isolated from other compatible activities. The other intriguing part is what I learned from my 9-year-old son, who is quite a fan of Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants. Drake wants to fly to California with me to watch Barry hit a home run and check out people on boats fishing the baseball out of the bay. I know it would be cheaper for me to replicate my son’s thrill by watching a Green Jacket game in downtown Augusta as a local boater fishes a homerun out of the Savannah River! Of everything Mr. Moretz said in his guest column July 24th, the one statement I agree most with is the following: “This is an old idea that should have been heeded long ago.” He was referring to a deal that was on

the table in the early 1990s, which would have moved the Green Jackets to downtown Augusta to play on the river. The idea fascinated me when I was assigned to cover it by WRDW back then. The Riverwalk was in need of a shot in the arm then——the Port Royal complex, featuring a shopping mall and overpriced condos—-was flopping. It would have become the centerpiece of a more than $80 million Riverwalk project. What a great story that was back then. It had many of the key ingredients: Money, politics, sports, growth, etc. It was the pre-consolidation era, so Augusta city council leaders tried to work with Richmond County commission leaders, who tried to work with the owners of the then Heaton Stadium on Lake Olmstead. Proposals drifted back and forth on financing and construction and tax advantages and when it became decision time the idea struck out. The baseball team owners decided to put millions of dollars into refurbishing the ballpark, where it now stands. Now, the part about how Mr. Moretz’s idea is out of bounds and plain wrong. In 1996, the Georgia Golf Hall of Fame acquired its first parcel of land on it’s Reynolds Street site. It’s where the proposed baseball stadium was to be constructed in the early ‘90s. This monumental step came 14 years after the Georgia Legislature created the GGHF. Over the years, many people took part in countless lobbying and fund-raising efforts to take the dream from the “seed-planting” phase to reality. Personally, I was there for “open house” with my wife and children. The Garden staff graciously provided entertainment and wonderful activities for the kids. I’ll never forget my oldest son, Rodney, showing his young brother and old dad how to build a birdhouse without hammering our fingers! This past Valentine’s Day, they ran a 2-for-1 special that I couldn’t pass up. For about $5 or $6 my wife and I got to walk around the Gardens, receive little trinkets and talk. When the weather turned a bit blustery, the helpful staff unfolded a table and let us eat our picnic lunches under a makeshift awning. By next

By Neil Gordon

Valentine’s Day, we’ll be able to sit under a 250-seat Pavilion, thanks to the tireless efforts of the staff to find a way to get the next phase of the Gardens completed. In the last year, they hired a special event coordinator who’s helping to bring countless weddings and important tourism events to the Gardens. Educationally, the GGHF just started the Garden’s education department to provide your child’s school another option for field trips. Professionally, I am so excited that the company I work for is working with Easter Seals to market December’s “Fantasy of Lights” at the GGHF. Mr. Moretz assumed it would be OK to “swap” the current 16-acre site (12th and Reynolds) for the 6-acre site at (5th and Reynolds.) It’s not OK. I think Easter Seals is going to have a great problem in December, when it moves its display to the Augusta Gardens. How to fit more than 120 light displays, entertainment, activities, and concessions on just 16 acres! We’re hoping tens of thousands of families will have a wonderful holiday season thanks to a mix of lights, gardens, waterfalls and holiday cheer! It would be just plain wrong to even ask the GGHF to move to a site with 10 less acres for many reasons: The current site is their home—— any agency or business knows it’s a kiss of death to move, unless it’s to expand. Since the GGHF will continue to expand with future interactive exhibits, theatre, rotunda and much more, they want to go forward, not backward. One other key point: More than 6 million has already been spent for the land; grading, preparing, and planting of the gardens, trees; and the installation of the lake and waterfall. By the way, that took years and years to construct—-why would the GGHF stop the momentum it’s worked so hard to achieve? It just doesn’t make sense and it won’t happen. As for the vacant city’s pension land at 5th and Reynolds, my understanding is that it’s zoned for mixed-use retail and residential shops. If anyone could find a businessperson to take a risk on developing that area, I think Mr. Moretz could do it.

Lastly, although it would have been wonderful for the community to have the Green Jackets play near the river, it’s an idea that is long in our political rearview mirrors. Thanks to the aforementioned upgrades and others the current stadium is one of the nicest minorleague facilities anywhere. It’s clean, familyoriented, and well-managed. My son and I may have to go to San Francisco to catch a game on the water—- but that’s OK. We’d much rather have the GGHF’s Botanical Gardens in its full splendor, where it belongs. That’s on 12th and Reynolds. — Neil Gordon worked for more than 10 years in the local TV news market as an investigative reporter, anchor and news director. He currently works for a Martinez company and specializes in Public Relations and Media Placement. The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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10 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G

Opinion: Commentary

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Green Party Taking the Plunge for 2004 By Norman Solomon


or the 2004 presidential race, the Green dye is cast. “The Green Party emerged from a national meeting ... increasingly certain that it will run a presidential candidate in next year’s election, all but settling a debate within the group over how it should approach the 2004 contest,” The Washington Post reported on July 21. The Green Party promptly put out a news release declaring that Greens “affirmed the party’s intention to run candidates for president and vice president of the United States in 2004.” That release quoted a national party co-chair. “This meeting produced a clear mandate for a strong Green Party presidential ticket in 2004,” he said, adding that “we chose the path of growth and establishing ourselves as the true opposition party.” But other voices, less public, are more equivocal. Days later, national party co-chair Anita Rios told me that she’s “ambivalent” about the prospect of a Green presidential race next year. Another co-chair, Jo Chamberlain, mentioned “mixed feelings about it.” Theoretically, delegates to the national convention next June could pull the party out of the ‘04 presidential race. But the chances of that happening are very slim. The momentum is clear. Few present-day Green Party leaders seem willing to urge that Greens forego the blandishments of a presidential campaign. The increased attention — including media coverage — for the party is too compelling to pass up. In recent years, the Greens have overcome one of the first big hurdles of a fledgling political party: News outlets no longer ignore them. In 2000, the Green presidential ticket, headed by Ralph Nader, had a significant impact on the campaign. Although excluded from the debates and many news forums, candidate Nader did gain some appreciable media exposure nationwide. Green leaders are apt to offer rationales along the lines that “political parties run candidates” and Greens must continue to gain momentum at the ballot box. But by failing to make strategic decisions about which electoral battles to fight — and which not to — the Greens are set to damage the party’s long-term prospects. The Green Party is now hampered by rigidity that prevents it from acknowledging a grim reality: The presidency of George W. Bush has turned out to be so terrible in so many ways that even a typically craven corporate Democrat would be a significant improvement in some important respects.

Fueled by idealistic fervor for its social-change program (which I basically share), the Green Party has become an odd sort of counterpoint to the liberals who have allowed pro-corporate centrists to dominate the Democratic Party for a dozen years now. Those liberal Democrats routinely sacrifice principles and idealism in the name of electoral strategy. The Greens are now largely doing the reverse — proceeding toward the 2004 presidential race without any semblance of a viable electoral strategy, all in the name of principled idealism. Local Green Party activism has bettered many communities. While able to win some municipal or county races in enclaves around the country — and sometimes implementing valuable reforms — the Greens stumble when they field candidates for statewide offices or Congress. When putting up candidates in those higher-level campaigns, the Greens usually accomplish little other than on occasion making it easier for the Republican candidate to win. That’s because the U.S. electoral system, unfortunately, unlike in Europe, is a non-parliamentary winner-take-all setup. To their credit, Green activists are working for reforms like “instant runoff voting” that would make the system more democratic and representative. In discussions about races for the highest offices, sobering reality checks can be distasteful to many Greens, who correctly point out that a democratic process requires a wide range of voices and choices during election campaigns. But that truth does not change another one: A smart movement selects its battles and cares about its impacts. A small party that is unwilling to pick and choose its battles — and unable to consider the effects of its campaigns on the country as a whole — will find itself glued to the periphery of American politics. In contrast, more effective progressives seeking fundamental change are inclined to keep exploring — and learning from — the differences between principle and self-marginalization. They bypass insular rhetoric and tactics that drive gratuitous wedges between potential allies — especially when a united front is needed to topple an extreme far-right regime in Washington. — Norman Solomon is co-author of “Target Iraq: What the News Media Didn’t Tell You.” The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Opinion: Austin Rhodes

Godfather of Soul Wins Crowning Honor, Judge Nominees Loved Barnes, Hollings Goes Out Hating


e has been hailed by princes and prime ministers, called an inspiration by the likes of The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, and this week Augusta’s own James Brown was named recipient of one of the top awards given to popular artists worldwide, the Kennedy Center Honors. Brown will take his place alongside fellow honorees Carol Burnett, Itzhak Perlman, Loretta Lynn and Mike Nichols for the 26th annual awards event December 7th. The impressive company will be honored with a White House reception hosted by the president, followed by a gala presentation at the Kennedy Center Opera House. The evening’s celebration will be taped by CBS and presented as a two-hour primetime special later in the month. It may be the first time the Godfather of Soul sits still for such an occasion. Brown usually refuses to be honored passively, recently taking the stage to perform as he received a Lifetime Achievement Award from BET. His presence and talents dwarfed those of his presenters, most notably, Michael Jackson. The Kennedy Center Honors are usually handled much differently, with the honorees sitting quietly detached from the showcase of luminaries brought in to recognize them. Perhaps Augusta city leaders can take this opportunity to revisit the idea of naming a major performance venue in honor of Augusta’s most famous son. While James Brown Boulevard is an appropriate reminder of where the music legend grew up amid humble surroundings, it is hardly enough to honor a man recognized worldwide as a peer of Elvis Presley. The rest of humanity seems to appreciate James Brown much better than we do. Speaking of Legends ... While we contemplate a fitting and lasting local honor for JB, talk of remembering another local giant has quietly resurfaced. There is talk that a movement to rename Lake Olmstead Stadium in honor of Ty Cobb could materialize soon. Cobb, who called Augusta home for many years and started his pro career here, is honored with an impressive statue outside Turner Field in Atlanta, but has no real shrine anywhere in our city. As one of the charter inductees in the Baseball Hall of Fame, Cobb is by far the most successful professional athlete to hail from Georgia, and he is arguably one of the best all-around baseball players who ever lived.







Judge Nominees Showed Barnes the Money While perusing the campaign finance disclosure forms for a few of the folks hoping Governor Sonny Perdue will choose them to be Augusta’s next Superior Court judge, it becomes clear that, while Perdue had no contributors among the finalists, the man he vanquished sure did. Finalist Sheryl Jolly and her husband Clay were big fans of the governor who went down in flames, Roy Barnes. They gave him $2,000 in 1998, and $3,000 in 2002. Not to be outdone, the lawfirm headed by finalist Jim Wall (a man who purported to be a closet Republican) gave Roy Barnes $5,000 in 2001. Talk about betting on the wrong horse. Don’t Let the Doorknob Hit You, Senator Hollings The very fact that a state could elect two U.S. senators as different in political beliefs as Fritz Hollings and Strom Thurmond always puzzled me. Hollings announced he is retiring as South Carolina’s senior senator after this term, and he is going out in typical style. Assailing President George W. Bush as a “frat boy� who doesn’t know or care about what is going on in the congress, and calling him “the weakest president I have seen in my career,� it is clear Democrat Hollings is out of touch with the 60-percent-plus of his state who supported Bush in the last election. Hollings has far more in common with Ted Kennedy than Sam Nunn when it came to national Democratic leaders, and his retirement is a very thinly veiled acknowledgment that his seat is likely going to a Republican next term whether he retires or not. Congressman Jim DeMint is viewed by many as the favorite to replace Hollings, and DeMint is keenly aware of the South Carolina voters in the CSRA, making frequent visits here. No doubt a DeMint victory would be a plus for this area, and its many federal installations. — The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at

M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7

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Opinion: Insider

Will Don Grantham Run for the Augusta Commission?



nsiders report that efforts to recruit a strong candidate to replace Augusta Commissioner Bill Kuhlke are gaining momentum. Kuhlke cannot seek another four years due to term limits. Sonny Pittman is the only announced candidate for the 10th District. Due to the lack of broad support for Pittman, Kuhlke, along with several politicos, has been working diligently to encourage others to enter the race. Several political insiders asked former head of Bankers First, Monty Osteen, to run but he refused. Local businessman Wayne Hawkins was recruited and reluctantly discussed the possibility. While Hawkins Bill Kuhlke was encouraged to consider the race, there were few formal commitments coming his way. He vowed not to enter the Wayne Hawkins fray

unless he had moral and financial support from those courting him. It appears the primary reason Hawkins agreed to consider running is because of increasing concern that nobody would challenge Pittman. Hawkins, Kuhlke and several political and financial power brokers have little confidence in Pittman. Now, there is a move to bring former Richmond County Commissioner Don Grantham into the race. Insiders report that he is giving it serious consideration. Grantham would easily defeat Pittman and it is doubtful that Hawkins would run if Grantham decides to. Hawkins has agreed to run only if no valid candidate opposes Pittman and he would be relieved to sit this one out. Grantham and Kuhlke are lifelong friends and Kuhlke will support Grantham if he says yes. Longtime southside politico Bobby Cheeks has also been mentioned but he has made no commitment to the race. Cheeks spent most of his years in south Augusta before moving to west Augusta. He currently serves on the Tax Assessors Board. With qualifying deadline for the election a little over a month away, all those considering their options will be forced to make a decision soon. Airport Director on the Hot Seat As The Insider goes to press, the future of Augusta Regional Airport Director Ken Kraemer is in question. It is no secret that airport commissioners have become increasingly unhappy with Kraemer’s job performance. A meeting scheduled for tomorrow (Aug. 7) is a pivotal one and may result in a conclusion to the ongoing saga. If the meeting goes as planned, the results of Kraemer’s job performance evaluation will be dis-

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cussed. Insiders report that it doesn’t look good for Kraemer. Random Notes on the Judge Selection Process • Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue’s office is reportedly upset with Mike Bowers, the head of the Judicial Nominating Commission. Bowers submitted the much– maligned short list of judge candidates to the governor, then bolted to Alaska for some fishing. While Perdue’s office is Lee Beard attempting to fault Bowers for the list, local Republicans don’t know what to think. Insiders in the guv’s office have readily admitted they should have consulted with local Republicans and suggest that the list was presented to the press before they were ready. Spin control is the order of the day at the governor’s mansion these days. • Several Danny Craig supporters were miffed with the recent report in The Insider suggesting that, due to overwhelming opposition in the black community, the appointment of District Attorney Danny Craig to the new judge position would directly result in the defeat of District 22 state Sen. Randy Hall. Miffed or not, that is a reality. Hall

faces a tough election campaign next year in the primarily black district. If he can’t stop the appointment of Craig, what power does he have to represent the interests of his black constituency? Anyone needing further evidence should check out last week’s edition of both local African-American newspapers. The frontpage story of The Augusta Focus and The Metro Courier featured Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard blasting Craig. The Metro Courier quoted Beard as saying, “How can he come to the black community when he has tried for the last five years to put two black commissioners, black department heads, and our former fire chief in jail?” Beard said virtually the same thing in The Augusta Focus and added, “I don’t think the black community should support him in any effort. If he did this as district attorney, just think what he would do as superior court judge.” Sorry, the truth hurts. AfricanAmericans don’t trust Craig. Fallout in Radio Land Since the mass firing of on-air staff at Clear Channel radio station WBBQ, local broadcasters and listeners are curious about what will happen to morning show hosts Rebecca Mackey and John Patrick. Reliable sources report that Mackey is interviewing with Beasley Broadcasting and Patrick, after being encouraged to apply for a newly created marketing/community relations position with Clear Channel, is strongly considering it. Insiders report both want to stay in the area. —The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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14 M E T R O S P I R I T


A U G 7 2 0 0 3

Kolb’s Drop-Dead Date


eople often say hate is too strong a word. But when it comes to describing the feelings Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams and City Administrator George Kolb have for one another, hate comes pretty close. Ever since Kolb started his position in May 2001, he and Williams have clashed over everything from the responsibilities of a city administrator to Williams’ assertion that Kolb has tried to block him from receiving public information regarding city departments. The two have butted heads so many times that Williams is no longer shy about the fact that he wants Kolb gone. However, for more than a year, Williams has not had enough support from his fellow commissioners to achieve that goal. Now, Williams has a deadline. On Aug. 5, Williams asked County Attorney Jim Wall to clarify the terms of Kolb’s contract which is scheduled to expire on June 30, 2004. Wall explained that Kolb’s contract with the city will automatically be renewed for another year unless either party, the commission or Kolb, notifies the other by Dec. 31 that the contract will not be extended. “You are required to give at least 180 days written notice (prior to June 30, 2004),” Wall told Williams. Otherwise, the contract will be automatically extended or the commission will have to provide a lump sum cash payment to Kolb equal to six months of his salary, benefits and deferred compensation to terminate the contract after the Dec. 31 deadline. Currently, Kolb is paid approximately $127,000 a year. Therefore, the city would be required to provide Kolb with more than $63,500 if it failed to give him the proper written notice, but still wanted to end his contract. Technically, Wall explained, the 180-day written notice could be given on Jan. 1, 2004; however, since that is a holiday and the mail does not run on that day, Wall suggested New Year’s Eve as the last day the commission or Kolb could give proper notice of the contract’s termination. “I just need a drop-dead date,” Williams said. “That’s it Jim. Give me that.” “The drop-dead date is Jan. 1,” Wall explained. “But I say, the drop-dead date is Dec. 31, since Jan. 1 is a holiday.” For example, Wall explained that if the commission used the drop-dead date of Jan. 1 and waited until the last minute to notify Kolb, someone from the city would have to track him down on a holiday and hand deliver the written notice.

By Stacey Eidson

“So, the 31st of December, 2003. After that time period, there would be an automatic extension of (Kolb’s) contract. No ifs, ands or buts about it.” – Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams

“That’s why I’m asking these questions now,” Williams said. “I don’t want to get to the point where we can’t mail it and have to track him down.” “So, the 31st of December, 2003,” Williams continued, quickly scribbling down the date. “After that time period, there would be an automatic extension of the contract. No ifs, ands or buts about it.” Wall said that was correct; however, the commission or Kolb wouldn’t have to wait until Dec. 31 to notify the other that the contract was not going to be extended. “Dec. 31, 2003 is the last day,” Wall said. “But you can do it whenever. It can be done on Dec. 1 or Nov. 15. You can do it anytime up until Dec. 31.” Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays joked that he didn’t want Kolb to get the wrong impression by listening to the commission discuss the details of his contract. He said the discussion had nothing to do with Kolb’s performance as city administrator. However, Williams had not finished evaluating Kolb’s contract. For the last several months, Williams has pointed out that Kolb has not followed all of the terms of his employment agreement. There is a section of Kolb’s contract that states that he must “submit once per calendar year to a complete physical examination by a qualified physician selected by the employer, the cost of which shall be paid by the employer.” The contract goes on to state, the commis-

sion “shall receive a copy of all medical reports related to said examination. To the extent permitted by law, the medical report shall be treated as a confidential record not subject to public disclosure.” “Mr. Kolb has not fulfilled that part of the contract. ... Now, is that not a violation of the contract?” Williams asked Wall. According to Wall, Kolb has received a physical since he began work in the spring of 2001; however, he did not provide the commission with a complete copy of his medical report. “But, at this point, the commission has indicated that they are not going to mandate the complete medical records be delivered to this commission,” Wall said to Williams. “You’ve said that you’ve wanted that, but I have not heard five other commissioners join with you saying that.” It takes six commissioners on the board to take an official action. “But, is that not a violation of the contract?” Williams asked again. “Not what I want. It’s what’s written. If it is a contract, a legal document, whether the commission says anything or not, that’s what’s supposed to be performed. Right or wrong Jim?” Wall agreed that the contract clearly calls for Kolb to deliver his medical report to the commission. “That’s what the contract says, but it’s up to the commission as to whether or not they want to enforce it to that very letter of the contract,” Wall said.

Williams expressed frustration that Wall wasn’t going to demand that Kolb follow his own contract. “We got a hand-written report saying that he had a physical. That’s not the way the contract was written,” Williams said. “James Wall, I’m going to ask you a legal question. In a court of law, a contract is a legal binding document. Is that right?” “Yes sir,” Wall responded. “In a court of law ... I think the court would require that all of those medical reports be turned over.” However, Wall again reiterated that at least six commissioners would have to agree that the city should take the matter to court and demand that Kolb release the medical records to the commission. “The law still says that is a binding document and it has not been performed. That is a breach of contract. Is that right?” Williams asked Wall. Wall disagreed with Williams’ assessment of the situation. “Has the contract been fulfilled to the letter of contract? No,” Wall said. “But no, it’s not a breach of contract.” By this time, Williams was getting highly irritated with Wall’s answers. “This is a legally binding document and it don’t take no brain surgeon to see that and it sure don’t take no lawyer,” Williams said. “And if it has not been fulfilled, it’s been breached.” If that’s the case, Wall said, the city is also in breach of the contract. “We have not fulfilled the commission’s obligation to do the annual evaluation,” Wall said. “Is that a breach of contract that would allow him to terminate the contract?” Williams had had enough. “We need another lawyer,” Williams suddenly announced after Wall finished reading the section of the contract regarding an annual evaluation of Kolb. “Because a lawyer, with your legal expertise, should have brought whatever document we are bound to, to us. It ain’t my job as a commissioner to look at the contract and say, ‘This is where we are and this is what we have to do.’” Wall calmly said he pointed out to commissioners on several occasions that they are required to perform a yearly evaluation of Kolb. Finally, Augusta Commissioner and local attorney Steve Shepard ended the lengthy debate with one simple word to Williams. “I will just give you one word Mr. Williams, and then we will have a little law school later on after the meeting,” Shepard said. “That word is ‘waiver.’”


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resh from his in-depth and, at times, unsettling exploration of the fast food industry, freelance investigative reporter Eric Schlosser now takes readers on a probative journey into America’s black market economy. From surreptitious marijuana farmers in the Corn Belt to downtrodden migrant farmers in California strawberry fields, and from the first origins of “girlie” magazines and “sexpulp” novels to an estimated $10 billion “adult entertainment” industry in America today, Schlosser examines the country’s swift underground currents in “Reefer Madness: Sex, Drugs, and Cheap Labor in the American Black Market” (Houghton Mifflin Company hardback, 310 pages, $23). In his introduction, Schlosser suggests that our mainstream economy — the very fluctuations in the stock market and value of our dollar — are inextricably linked with the black market. Bolstering that statement, he asks the reader to consider that Americans now spend more on illegal drugs than cigarettes, and that three-quarters of all U.S. $100 bills currently in existence circulate abroad, the note being a favorite of underground traders for its high face value and relative stability. “The supremacy of the dollar in the global underground has proven a boon to the American economy. The outflow of U.S. currency now serves, in essence, as a gigantic, interest-free loan,” Schlosser writes. “In 2000 the U.S. Treasury earned an estimated $32.7 billion in interest from its banknotes circulating overseas. The 1996 redesign of the $100 bill was partly motivated by fears that Middle Eastern

counterfeiters had created a convincingly real $100 bill, a ‘supernote’ that might threaten the role of U.S. currency in unofficial transactions.” Schlosser begins his journey in the Heartland of America’s Midwest, where weather and soil conditions for corn are every bit as ideal as those for what one DEA agent in Schlosser’s book calls America’s largest cash crop: marijuana. It is here that the entrepreneurial-minded have discovered that $70,000 for a bushel of well-tended marijuana beats, hands-down, the $2 they’d typically get for the same amount of corn. It is also here that, according to Schlosser’s research, America spends part of its annual $4 billion budget to fight marijuana, though maybe only nipping in the bud 10 to 20 percent of the total yearly crop. Schlosser interviews DEA Agent Steve White, who knows the ins and outs of every Indiana corn field, as well as the workings of state-of-the-art, helicopter-mounted equipment used to detect the heat of highpowered, indoor grow lights used to raise marijuana. The author also gets a tour of an equally state-of-the-art marijuana grow room, where hundreds of highly potent plants flourish from rock wool cubes attached to a maze of nutrient-fed pipes. Schlosser also explores the contradictions inherent in America’s drug-enforcement policies, following the case of a man serving a life sentence for merely introducing two parties in a large marijuana transaction, and refusing to accept a plea deal. Mandatory minimum sentences and

rampant prosecutorial leeway often inflict the most harm on the least serious offenders, Schlosser suggests. He gives the example of a liberal activist and attorney in Bay City, Mich., who was caught with less than 2 grams of marijuana — essentially, a fat joint. Ordinarily, the offense would have brought a $100 fine, but because federal prosecutors took an interest in the case, he was sentenced to 14 months in prison and had his law license revoked. And then there are those political connections, like the case involving the son of former South Carolina Gov. Richard Riley, who faced 10 years to life in prison and a $4 million fine for conspiring to sell marijuana and cocaine. Instead, Schlosser notes, the son of the politically connected Riley (who also served as education secretary under Bill Clinton) received six months — of house arrest, that is. From the battle lines and casualties of the drug war, Schlosser takes us to the strawberry fields of California, where illegal immigrants toil during 10- and 12-hour days, sometimes in return for a fraction of minimum wage. Schlosser’s sources estimate there are more than 1 million migrant workers in this country. The typical migrant worker, Schlosser writes, is a 29-year-old male making less than $7,500 a year, who has a life expectancy of 49. Experts in Schlosser’s book equate the practice of sharecropping — essentially, contracting out the managing of a farmowner’s own land to a migrant worker in return for a significant portion of crop proceeds — with serfdom.

Schlosser suggests that capitalism’s never-ending search for cheaper labor will only result in unlivable wages for migrants and American citizens, alike. Near the conclusion of his book, Schlosser postulates: “If the current abuse of illegal immigrants is allowed to continue, the United States soon won’t have to import a foreign peasantry. We will have created our own.” Though titled “Reefer Madness,” the majority of Schlosser’s book is devoted to the porn industry. A theme and historical reference throughout the 99 pages Schlosser spends on “An Empire of the Obscene,” part three of the book, is the story of porn peddler Reuben Sturman. Sturman created a multi-million-dollar porn industry, initially by selling girlie magazines and pulp novels to various stores he serviced with his comic book route in the late 1950s and early ‘60s. Schlosser details at great length Sturman’s run-ins with the law and the attempts of various agencies and prosecutors to have his wares declared obscene. Sturman serves as a foil for the everevolving adult entertainment industry, though Schlosser’s constant back-andforth from past to present grows a little tiresome at times. Still, Schlosser interestingly documents the hypocrisy that existed in the early days of porn, when anti-smut campaigns flourished, even as groups of men at Kiwanis clubs and American Legion halls hunkered together to ogle stag films. From tawdry peep show booths and magazines sold on the sly beneath the counter, Schlosser brings us to the present day, where all the fantasy flesh one could desire is just a few remotecontrol clicks away. “In 2001, Americans spent about $465 million ordering adult movies on payper-view. Most of the money was earned by well-known companies that don’t boast about their links with the sex trade, such as EchoStar, DirecTV, AT&T Broadband, and AOL Time Warner,” Schlosser writes. “Americans spend an additional $200 million or so on adult films piped into their hotel rooms. Indeed, about half of all the films rented in hotel rooms are porn films. The

leading hotel chains — such as Hilton, Holiday Inn, Sheraton, and Marriott International — get a cut of up to 15 percent.” Throughout “Reefer Madness” is an underlying theme that these transactions of the id that swell just below Mainstreet’s view are illogically at odds with the moralizing and punishing, selfproclaimed status quo. Scenes such as that of the late Senator Strom Thurmond feeding coins into a peep show machine as members of an all-male Commission on Pornography and Obscenity laugh and jeer, smack of such hypocrisy. Politicians taking tough stances on importing cheap, migrant labor, while doing little, if anything, to the farm owners who hire such workers, is another example of giving lip service to morality and ethics, Schlosser suggests. Granted, although Schlosser refers to the three parts of his book as “essays,” “Reefer Madness” could have easily comprised three separate books. Though Schlosser’s reporting here is as solid as in his 2001 expose on the fast food industry, “Fast Food Nation,” some of the interviews in “Reefer Madness” seem rushed, as if sources were swiftly ushered in, their information downloaded, then sent on their way. And though the 67 pages Schlosser includes for notes and bibliography suggest solid, fact-based reporting, he doesn’t shy away from using his editorial voice, advocating, for instance, the immediate decriminalization of marijuana, harsher penalties for employers of cheap, migrant labor and turning a blind eye to victimless crimes that occur behind closed doors. Still, Schlosser seems to give us plenty to think about and after reading his book, it might be hard for one to glance at the day’s Dow Jones closing without thinking of all those dirty little secrets that contributed to a particular company’s rise or fall. “Black markets will always be with us. But they will recede in importance when our public morality is consistent with our private one,” Schlosser concludes. “The underground is a good measure of the progress and health of nations. When much is wrong, much needs to be hidden.”

$iTsH$RanO$U$GH$OU$T $“R$EEFER $ un MA$ DN$ES $ transacti derlying them$ ” e that t $S$ ons of th $abte$loow$M$ai$ns$tre$et’s$eviiedwthat swell hjuesset dds wit ar$ e i$ $ llo$ gically h the $ punishing m $ o ralizing $ , self-pro a $$$$$$$$claimed status qunod $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ Scenes s uch as th at of the coins into late Sena a peep s tor Strom . h Thurmon ow mach Commiss d feeding ine as m ion on Po embers rnograph of an all of such h y and Ob -male ypocrisy. scenity la ugh and jeer, sma ck

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AUGUSTA CLEARANCE CENTER 2705 Peach Orchard Rd. (Closed Sun) ..................706-798-8882 AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 274 Rob’t C. Daniels Pkwy............................................706-667-8008 CENTRAL AUGUSTA 617 15th Street (Closed Sun) ...........................................706-724-5800 EVANS CROSSING 4359 Washington Rd. ...........................................................706-210-8010 HEPHZIBAH 2601 Tobacco Rd. ...........................................................................706-790-0977 MARTINEZ 3849 Washington Rd. .........................................................................706-860-6303 N. AUGUSTA 404 E. Martintown Rd. (Closed Sun) .............................................803-278-4466

A U G 7 2 0 0 3

18 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G

d i t d i e O s T e ou r d R oadsi B y Br ian Neill

7 2 0 0 3

They are things of wonder, those chance stop-offs and sightings along the road to where you’re really going. Often, they are the dreams of big-minded, smalltown people, looking to put their burg on the map. These attractions, these roadside oddities if you will, range from the strange to the outlandish. How outlandish? Well, how about Elvis Presley’s wart preserved in a test tube? These are places often overlooked in those tank-ofgas summer trip stories. Sure, you could go to Hilton Head and look at a bunch of golf courses, or Atlanta and look at a bunch of buildings. But you aren’t going to see Elvis’ wart at those places. Nor are you going to see a mammoth granite monument inscribed with messages to a future race. And you can bet you won’t be standing on the precipice of Georgia’s own version of the Grand Canyon. So, as the dog days of summer begin to gradually wind down, we suggest a different set of day trips — The Roadside Oddities Tour:

GEORGIA: Loudermilk Boarding House Cornelia, Ga. (706) 778-2001 Everything Elvis you’d want to see, and maybe a thing or two you wouldn’t, is on display at the Loudermilk Boarding House. “The strangest thing I have, and it’s listed in the ‘Guinness Book of World Records,’ is a wart removed from Elvis’ wrist,” said museum/boarding house proprietor Joni Mabe. “You know, when I was on the road it was a big draw and it got in the National Enquirer.” Mabe, who did her thesis on Elvis Presley for her master’s in fine arts from the University of Georgia, has been collecting Elvis items and making her

own Elvis art for the past 20 years or so. At one point, she loaded up her roughly 30,000 Elvis items and art pieces in 22 wooden crates and toured the country and abroad. She later bought and restored an old boarding house in the middle of Cornelia that belonged to her great-grandparents and filled the entire third floor with her Elvis installation. Mabe keeps the wart, which she claims to have bought from the doctor who removed it from Elvis’ wrist back in 1958, in a test tube filled with formaldehyde. “And that’s inside a shrine that’s lined in red satin,” Mabe said. “It’s sort of presented as the crown jewels.” Mabe also has a toenail clipping she found in the Jungle Room in Graceland on display, which she has labeled “The

Maybe Elvis Toenail.” She also hosts the “Big E” Fest every August. The event features an Elvis impersonator contest with performers from around the Southeast. Cornelia is located about 40 miles north of Athens. From Augusta, take I-20 to Thompson, then U.S. Highway 78 to Athens. From Athens, take U.S. Highway 441 north to Cornelia. The Loudermilk Boarding House is in the center of town, a block from City Hall, next to the train depot. Open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and by appointment. Admission is $5. For more information, contact Mabe at the above phone number. At the time of this writing, her Web site was only partially complete.

“Little Grand Canyon” (Providence Canyon State Park) Lumpkin, Ga.

The Lunchbox Museum Columbus, Ga. (706) 653-6240

People often say that if you do only one more thing in your life, go and visit the Grand Canyon. So what if you cheat a little bit? Georgia actually has its own version of the Grand Canyon, albeit on a much smaller scale. “The first reaction is, they can’t believe it’s in Georgia,” said Joy Joyner, park ranger at Providence Canyon State Park, the site’s official name. Joyner said there are 16 canyons in all, each averaging 150 feet deep and covering a combined 300 acres. Each canyon varies in length from a quartermile to three quarters of a mile. The entire park, located in western Georgia near the Alabama state line, spans 1,100 acres. The canyons formed when pioneers came to the area in the 1820s, stripped the area of its vegetation and began to farm cotton. “When the pioneers came to this area, the topography was rolling hills,” Joyner said. “So as they plowed downhill the soil washed away and the canyons started forming in like 20 years.” Joyner said the canyon walls contain 43 different colors of sand. Hikers can trek a three-mile trail and also walk through nine of the canyon bottoms. Because the canyon floors have creek

If you’ve reached the point in life where birthdays don’t matter anymore, you’re probably old enough to remember the creaky sound the latch made on that metal school lunchbox. Slamming back the lid, the aroma of mom’s PB&J wafted from its armored surroundings like a hug from home amid the lunchroom chatter. Maybe you had a “S.W.A.T.” one, or maybe “Land of the Lost.” If you can’t remember, Allen Woodall’s Lunchbox Museum is sure to jog your memory. “It’s like a time capsule,” Woodall said. “So many people have walked down through there and all of the sudden something clicks in their mind and they say, ‘That’s the one that I had.’ And they get this big smile on their face.” More than 2,000 lunchboxes and 1,400 thermoses can be found at this attraction. Woodall has co-authored a book on the subject, titled, “The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Metal Lunchboxes,” and his museum even piqued the interest of the Smithsonian Institution, which purchased five of his boxes for a traveling exhibit. Feel free to touch and pick up at this museum, which is the centerpiece of the River Market Antique Mall at 3236 Hamilton Road. Woodall said duplicate items in the museum are also available for sale and range from around $20 on up. Open 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday and noon to 6 p.m. Sunday. Free admission. Directions available on the Web site or by calling the museum.

(229) 838-6202

beds and are often muddy, Joyner advises people to wear footwear they don’t mind mucking up. Joyner says people will truly be amazed upon their first visit to Georgia’s Little Grand Canyon. She doesn’t, however, guarantee visitors will come away with the same feeling they would from visiting the real Grand Canyon. “We’re a drop of water compared to the Grand Canyon,” Joyner said. “So, a little bit.” The park is located about 40 miles

south of Columbus. There is limited camping for backpackers and groups; however, there is no family camping, Joyner said. Hours of operation are as follows: 7 a.m. - 6 p.m., Sept. 15 to April 14; and 7 a.m. - 9 p.m., April 15 to Sept. 14. Admission is $2 per family-size vehicle. Vans with carrying capacity of 13 to 30 are $20. Buses and motorcoaches are $50. Consult the Web site or call for directions.

continued on page 21

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a Has I e stin t D s d d u t atio s s Share of O A ug n By Brian Neill

You don’t even have to go as far as some of the destinations we’ve listed in The Roadside Oddities Tour to find several unusual sights and places. Augusta has made it onto various Web site guides to offbeat attractions. The most frequently mentioned is the old Haunted Pillar on the corner of Fifth and Broad streets.

Legend has it that this concrete pillar was part of the old Lower Market. According to Historic Augusta, back in the late 1800s an itinerant preacher was mad that authorities wouldn’t let him preach in the market, so he cursed the city and said the market would be destroyed.

Reprint courtesy of King Features Syndicate

Not long after, in 1878, a freak cyclone struck the market, leveling it. A local grocer purchased the pillar for $50 and moved it to the corner where it now stands, according to Historic Augusta’s account. Apparently, as the legend goes, two construction workers who attempted to move the pillar during a roadwidening job were struck by lightning and killed. Stories of the pillar’s evil powers have taken on a life of their own, and the common theme holds that disaster will befall anyone who places their hands upon it. Go ahead. Touch it. We dare you. You know how sometimes you live around something for a long time and never give it much thought, then suddenly, its peculiarity suddenly dawns on you? Well, we have a bridge named Butt. Sure, it’s named after Maj. Archibald Butt, an aide to former President William H. Taft, and someone who heroically ushered countless passengers aboard the Titanic into lifeboats before perishing in the disaster. But most people simply call it Butt Bridge. That, along with its lions, eagles and glass spheres has gotten it mentioned on a site or two of unusual places of interest. The bridge almost fell prey to federal transportation spending cuts

back in 1989, but received an eleventh-hour reprieve through legislation by two Georgia Congressmen who saved it from impending demolition.

1947, when the building was home to the Lily-Tulip Cup Company. It was emblazoned with the Sweetheart logo in the early 1980s, McGuire said. “Everywhere I go,” McGuire said, “people always ask me, ‘What’s inside that cup?’ “ Well, the company’s lobby on the first floor, and storage just below the cup’s lip on the second floor, McGuire tells them. The unique structure even recently garnered the attention of nationally syndicated cartoonist, Bill Griffith, a.k.a Zippy the Pinhead, for one of his strips, featured below. “It’s a landmark,” McGuire said. “Everyone knows where it is.” Here are some additional sources of information for those interested in plotting future roadside oddities tours:

Another oddity Augusta possesses falls into the category of giant muffler men statues and other ostentatious, oversized signs representative of their particular businesses — like those huge bugs for pest control companies, for instance. It’s the Sweetheart cup built into the facade of the company’s offices, located at the eastern portion of Wrightsboro Road. Brett McGuire, plant manager at Sweetheart, said the cup dates to “The New Roadside America: The Modern Traveler’s Guide to the Wild and Wonderful World of America’s Tourist” (Fireside paperback, 288 pages, $14).


continued from page 19 Georgia Guidestones Elberton, Ga. Much mystery surrounds this huge granite monument erected in Stonehenge-like fashion in a cow pasture on a high hilltop in Elberton, about 30 miles northeast of Athens. Some say it was a crazy whim on the part of a man named R.C. Christian who commissioned the Elberton Granite Finishing Company to create the 100-ton-plus monument, the vertical slabs of which stand roughly 20 feet tall. Others suggest something more diabolical, such as the monument being a link to and beacon for the Freemasons or various cults. That thinking comes from the fact that the upright granite slabs are actually tablets that contain commandments for living, etched in eight different languages — English, Hebrew, Hindi, Arabic, Russian, Chinese, Spanish and Swahili. The commandments read as follows: 1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature. 2. Guide reproduction wisely – improving fitness and diversity. 3. Unite humanity with a living new language. 4. Rule Passion – Faith – Tradition – and all things with tempered reason. 5. Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts. 6. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court. 7. Avoid petty laws and useless officials. 8. Balance personal rights with social duties.


9. Prize truth – beauty – love – seeking harmony with the infinite. 10. Be not a cancer on the earth – Leave room for nature – Leave room for nature [Sic]. Are these doctrines intended for before mankind’s demise, or after? Joe Fendley Sr., former president of the Elberton Granite Finishing Company, told us he swore himself to secrecy as to the true identity of Christian, a pseudonym for the man who brought him the monument plans and financed the undertaking. Fendley said by phone that after work began on the monument, he didn’t hear from Christian until about a decade later. He said Christian truly believed that another race would come to live on our planet and the secretive man wanted to leave a message for them. “I think the man is honest in his desire to leave a message to the next, we’ll say, mankind,” Fendley said. “I don’t think he expects to live long enough to say it personally, himself.” Not surprisingly, perhaps, many visitors to the site report feeling an intense energy coming up through the stones, which were unveiled in 1980. The monument is always open. Just park and walk up. Elberton is about a two-hour drive from Augusta. From Augusta, take I-20 to Thompson, then U.S. Highway 78 north to Washington. In Washington, connect with State Road 17, heading north to Elberton. Once in Elberton, take State Road 77 a little more than seven miles north of the town. The monument will be on the right.

S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3

continued on page 22

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22 continued from page 21 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3

SOUTH CAROLINA: Bee City Cottageville, S.C. (843) 835-5912 The idea of a petting zoo at a place called Bee City might make some people nervous. However, owner Archie Biering assured us that the hands-on aspect of Bee City only pertains to the deer, llamas, donkeys and other animals at the attraction. But the true stars here, of course, are the bees, all 1,260,000 of them when the hives are at full capacity. Biering created a miniature city with hives decorated to look like buildings, each of them carrying cutesy names like “Buzz-Cut Barber Shop,” “Glory Bee Church” and the “Pig-Bee Wig-Bee Supermarket.” When contacted, Biering said the miniature city is under renovation, which should be completed in a couple of months. “It’ll be even better when we get through,” Biering said. “We’re working on it as we speak.” Pearl Fryar’s Topiary Garden Bishopville, S.C. (803) 484-5581

Biering said there’s still plenty to do and see. “We do have glass beehives right now, that you can look at the bees behind glass,” Biering said. “And we have a regular classroom where we do field trips.” Bee City also has a restaurant that serves hamburgers and the like, and on weekends, serves seafood dinners. The buzz surrounding this quirky stop even managed to attract the attention of The Washington Post for an article it ran several years ago. Open from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday. Regular admission is $2.50. There is also a hands-on tour available for $8.50, which allows visitors to fill their own 8 oz. honey bear, roll a pair of beeswax candles and make a melted beeswax figurine. Now, that’s sweet. Cottageville is about 40 miles northwest of Charleston. Directions can be found on Bee City’s Web site or by calling the attraction.

Sheldon Ruins Sheldon, S.C. Edward Scissorhands had nothing on this guy. Pearl Fryar has meticulously sculpted trees and vegetation on his three-acre topiary garden and invites the public to marvel at his hedge trimmer-crafted wonders. Born to a family of North Carolina sharecroppers, Fryar had a single goal in mind as he neared retirement from the National Can Company: to win Bishopville’s Garden of the Month Award. Suffice it to say that was the least he accomplished on the green thumb front. The garden, located in a residential neighborhood, has been featured in various magazines and on the Discovery Channel. “I have tours from all over the world,” Fryar said. “As a matter of fact, last week I had a group from Sweden.” Fryar says he is always happy to take people on tours of the garden, or people can come and walk through it themselves. “It takes about an hour to tour the gardens and I explain kind of what I do,” Fryar said. “And they take pictures and everything.” A brief TV interview with Fryar at his garden in 1998 can be viewed at (scroll halfway down the page and click on TV icon next to the blurb on him). Fryar said the hours of operation are flexible, adding that any time between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m., seven days a week, is fine to tour the garden. However, groups and individuals wanting a guided tour must call in advance, Fryar said. Parking is available in a vacant lot across from Fryar’s house. There is no admission, but Fryar does have a donation box. Bishopville is about 40 miles east of Columbia off I-20. Consult the Web site or call for directions.

One who’s not expecting it is certain to do a doubletake driving past this ruined church consisting of stately brick columns, peering from behind the trees on an otherwise overgrown stretch of road leading to Beaufort. Originally established in the 1700s before the American Revolution, this church had the ill fate of being burned not once, but twice. The first time was by the British Army in 1799. The second time was by General William Tecumseh Sherman’s troops in 1865. And yet, its remains still stand. The church, originally called Sheldon Prince Williams Parish, was named for the British home of its founder, William Bull of Sheldon, born 1683. He is buried at the site. A strange aura surrounds the church, with its tall columns reaching up to nowhere. The surrounding oak trees, with their

unusually elongated, sweeping branches and shadow castings also add to the vibe. However, contrary to what you might expect, ghost stories about this site are hard to come by. Somebody had better get busy. The ruins make for great photographs and have been the subject of various art prints. The site makes for a great stop-off along a day trip to Beaufort or Hunting Island. The Sheldon Ruins, a little more than two hours’ drive from Augusta, are accessed by a small pull-off on Sheldon Church Road, the road connecting Yemassee with Gardens Corner. From Augusta, take U.S. Highway 278 until just after it crosses I-95. A few miles after this, you’ll come to the town of Yemassee. You’ll cross over some railroad tracks and wind around onto Sheldon Church Road. The ruins will be a few miles up on your left. If you reach Gardens Corner, you’ve gone too far. There’s no contact number for the attraction; however, various information about it can be found on the Web.

23 M E T R O

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t’s not just the menu that calls patrons to Le Cafe Du Teau. Anyone who’s been there even once can tell you the atmosphere plays a big part in making customers come back again and again – the soft lighting, the music, the candles. There is even a mural on one wall, courtesy of late Augusta artist Jim Lyle. Owner Donn Du Teau said that Jim – who became well-known during his life, and about whom many local artists still speak with affection or even a tone of reverence – sold the majority of his art in the restaurant for years. “Before he hit big galleries, that was his main method of selling his works,” Donn said, also mentioning that Randy Lambeth, another well-known artist, exhibited here in the old days, before Augusta became art-savvy. His work can still be found there. “Oh, we’ve always been avant garde,” Du Teau said. “I can’t tell you how many dishes I’ve brought here.” Speaking of avant garde, Du Teau added, “We are the original jazz spot in town.” Jazz is still going strong at Le Cafe Du Teau, with music playing Thursday nights through Sunday night; weekly. Come in and see Mac MacIntyre play solo jazz piano or perhaps get down with a little help from his friends in a quartet on Sunday. Planning on attending the theatre, a concert or even the ballet later in the evening? Then you will want to take advantage of Le Cafe Du Teau’s Pre-Theatre Twilight Dinner Special from 5 p.m. until 6:30 p.m. for $12.95. And that, my friend, includes a scrumptious dessert.

Wednesday is also an especially fun night to visit for people from MCG and those in the food and beverage industry. They will get well drink specials, shooter specials and $5 beer pitchers. It runs from 9 p.m. until. But you can’t forget the food. It is a restaurant after all. Du Teau credits the restaurant’s success with his insistence on working with top-quality ingredients, and with always taking a hands-on approach to the kitchen. Literally. “I’m always in charge of my kitchen,” he said, adding that he learned from chefs who have worked in town and abroad. “In a lot of ways I’m self-taught,” he said. “I’ve studied a lot of different cuisines.” Sunday brunch includes wonderful egg dishes, hot entrees, hot hors d’oeuvres and tasty desserts, 11 a.m. until 2:30 p.m. And it all started so long ago – on May 20, 1977. “I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. None of us were restaurant people,” he said of himself and his four founding partners, including his brother, Gary. A lot of people have walked through those doors over the past two and a half decades. Du Teau sends a big thanks to them all. “I want to thank my patrons for helping me make Cafe Du Teau one of Augusta’s unique signature restaurants,” he said. Come enjoy Le Cafe Du Teau from Wednesday through Sunday, when dinner starts at 5 p.m. On Sunday night, dinner runs from 5-10 p.m. but you can get tappas and pizza until 1 a.m. Mondays and Tuesdays are reserved for catering. For reservations and information, call (706) 733-3505.

1210 George C. Wilson Dr.





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26 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3


& Entertainment

Sugarland Brings Sassy Country to the Soul Bar

By Lisa Jordan


hat do you get when you combine three of Atlanta’s most distinguished singersongwriters, two polished musicians and a good dose of pop-laden country music? The answer, of course, is Sugarland. Comprised of Jennifer Nettles, Kristen Hall, Kristian Bush, Simone Simonton and Bret Hartley, the band is quickly gathering critical praise for their debut album, “Premium Quality Tunes.” “I think it’s super flattering,” says Nettles of a review of their recent Nashville show posted on the Country Music Television Web site. In it, the author referred to Nettles as the band’s “secret weapon.” “It was so flattering and so positive, and a lot of people have been able to read it and are just so supportive. I hope to be able to live up to that.” But Nettles is just one of the elements that makes Sugarland so great. Also bringing the experience of Hall and her solo career, Bush and Hartley’s work in outfit Billy Pilgrim and Simonton’s performances with her group Lift and also with the Indigo Girls, Sugarland has an impressive pedigree for a band that’s been together a little over a year. “It was Kristen’s (idea),” says Nettles. “She wanted to do a country band, and it was maybe about a year and a half ago. She and Kristian got together and they had a band; they just didn’t have a singer.” With the Jennifer Nettles Band undergoing some personnel changes, it seemed like the perfect time for Nettles to try something different. “I was pretty open at that point to change, I guess in general, and so (Kristen) approached me and said, ‘Would you be interested in doing this?’ I said, ‘Sure, I’d love to try it.’ And I did. I went in and sang some songs, and we did some writing together, and I was hooked.” The ease of collaboration among the artists in Sugarland shows in how effortless the songs on “Premium Quality Tunes” feel. “Baby Girl” has a smart, poppy vibe, but Nettles’ voice is just weighty enough to anchor the song in reality. Add to that strong melodies

“If it’s not fun, we’re not doing it. We’ve all done it the hard way. We’ve all done it the self-dragging way, going through your problems onstage every night through your music, and this is not that.” — Jennifer Nettles

like the one that characterizes “Fly Away” and enough attitude to carry off the sassy “Mississippi,” and you’ve got one fun album. “This is writing for the sake of storytelling,” Nettles explains, adding that Sugarland’s songs are designed to make the audience have a good time and forget

about their problems. “It’s very high-energy. It differs thematically as well, and we’ve even overall tried to have the ethos that if it’s not fun, we’re not doing it. We’ve all done it the hard way. We’ve all done it the self-dragging way, going through your problems onstage every night through your music, and this is not that.”

That’s just one of the differences Nettles has noticed in working with such a collaborative group. Another is the joy of working as an equal within a group of skilled performers. “Everybody is very seasoned as far as they’re professional and they understand how to be professional with each other and with other people, very courteous, very kind,” she says. “Egos are put aside. … So it’s good. It’s nice to be working with seasoned professionals, with people who understand the pressures, at times, of being out there up front or making sure things get done businesswise. We’re very supportive and encouraging of each other.” August 16 marks the first time Sugarland comes to Augusta, and Nettles, herself an area favorite, is looking for her Augusta fans to head down to the Soul Bar and get a taste of something just a little bit different from her. “I really want them to see it,” she says. “I hope people that are familiar with my music will come out and celebrate the difference in that – people who are familiar with Kristen or Kristian, too. It’s a lot of fun. So far, many of my fans have crossed over to become Sugarland fans. … On each one of my records, I’ve had a country song, pretty much. So it’s not a departure for me.” And, of course, you haven’t heard the last of Nettles’ solo work, despite the prominent place Sugarland currently occupies in her musical career. “This has actually come more into focus for now. I still do a solo acoustic show once a month or something,” she says. “I found it really difficult to focus on both (Sugarland and the Jennifer Nettles Band) because they are so different. The stuff that I write for my own band is my own, and then this is a collaborative project. That’s different for me because of that. Also, I think from a thematic perspective, where writing is concerned, it was the way I kind of purged that and worked through certain issues in my life.” Check out Sugarland’s tunes Aug. 16 at the Soul Bar. Special guest Gran Bel Fisher also performs. For more information, visit


ARE YOU AN INSULIN-USING DIABETIC WITH ASTHMA? We are conducting an investigational drug study with inhaled insulin

M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7

You may qualify if you are: • diabetic, requiring insulin at least twice a day • asthmatic • not more than 80 pounds overweight • willing to perform blood sugar monitoring • otherwise healthy All study related care, including; Diabetes and study medications, bronchodilator medication, glucometer and test strips, visits and procedures are provided at no charge. Travel compensation provided.

CSRA Partners in Health

Diane K, Smith, MD 1220 Augusta West Parkway • Augusta, GA 30909 706.860.3152

HOME security There’s comfort in familiar surroundings. That’s a good reason to choose AGS over ATL when traveling by air. Besides, once you clear AGS security you’re cleared for the duration of your outbound trip. Our new program called “The Extra Mile” is designed to provide even more customer assistance so you feel more at home, even in the airport. On your return, we’ll even drive you and your luggage to your car. So, we’re good to leave from but even better to come home to.

Take life easier. Fly there. Fly home.

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28 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3


DaysA Week


Auditions COLUMBIA COUNTY CHORAL SOCIETY OPEN HOUSE for interested singers and suppor ters Aug. 19, 7:30 p.m. at First Baptist Church of Evans. For more information, call 364-5920 or visit AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND rehearses Monday evenings and is looking to fill vacancies on most band instruments. Interested par ties should contact Ben Easter, (803) 202-0091 or e-mail SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

Education SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCE CLASSES Saturdays at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts, 122 Laurens St. Beginners and experienced dancers welcome. For information, contact Marilynn Knight at or Brenda Sleasman, (803) 641-9094. ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday af ternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or par tners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016. ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are of fered yearround at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pot tery, weaving and sculpture. For a newslet ter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Ger trude Herber t, call 722-5495. The Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t also of fers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number. ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Available programs include voice lesson and pantomime workshops, as well as classes in dance, theater, music, visual ar ts and writing. Call 731-0008 for details. USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGR AM now open. Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area. (803) 641-3288.

Exhibitions WORKS BY ETHAN BROCK will be on display at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History through Aug. 30. Call 724-3576.

DISPLAY BY THE AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE EMBROIDERER’S GUILD OF AMERICA will be at the Friedman Branch Library in August. 736-6758. ART BY ARLENE DENGEL will be at the Gibbs Library in August. Call 863-1946. PAINTINGS BY DIANE DAVIS go up at the Euchee Creek Library throughout the month of August. Call 556-0594 for details. “PICTURES FOR MISS JOSIE,” collages and drawings by Benny Andrews, will be at the Mar y Pauline Galler y through Aug. 16. For more information, call 724-9542. THE WALTER O. EVANS COLLECTION OF AFRICANAMERICAN ART on view at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Aug. 10. Call 724-7501 for details.

Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No par tners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Line and circle dances are taught. For location information, call 737-6299. THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honors the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15 to 11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE Facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information. CSR A/AUGUSTA BOGEY-WOOGIE DANCE AND SOCIAL GROUP meets every Wednesday at 6:45 p.m. at A World of Dance Studio. Couples, singles and newcomers are welcome. The group also of fers beginner shag lessons all summer. For information, phone 650-2396. SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adul ts. Held at Westside High School. Tickets $5 for members, $7 for non-members, and are available at the door. For more information, contact Doris Heath, 736-3376.

Music AN EVENING OF JAZZ sponsored by Paine College Aug. 31, 5-10 p.m., at Riverwalk’s Jessye Norman Amphitheatre. For information, call 821-8223. SHAWN GALLAWAY’S MULTI-MEDIA PRODUCTION OF “I CHOOSE LOVE” with percussionist Eddy Greene Aug. 8, 7:30 p.m., at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion. Tickets are $10 at the door. For more information, visit

This week’s On the Bricks concert series in Atlanta’s Centennial Olympic Park features Liz Phair (pictured), Hootie and the Blowfish, Tonic, The Clarks and Bain Mattox. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE event at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza Aug. 9, 23 7-11 p.m. Free admission. Live enter tainment by Westobou and the H.B.O.Y.S., food and other fun is planned. Concession sales benefit the Imperial Theatre. For details, call Riverwalk Special Events, 821-1754, or Lara at the Imperial Theatre, 722-8293. UNLEASHED TOUR, STARRING BOW WOW, comes to the Bell Auditorium Aug. 7, 6 p.m. Tickets are $31 for floor seating, $26 for first and second balcony seating and $21 for third balcony seating. Tickets are available at the Civic Center Box Of fice or through TicketMaster, 828-7700. MUSIC ON THE RIVER Aug. 8, 15, 22 and 29, 7 p.m., at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre. Contact Riverwalk Special Events, 821-1754. SOULFUL SATURDAYS with live soul music, spoken word and theatrical per formances through Aug. 30. Held at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre, 8-9:30 p.m. Admission is $5. For information, call 821-1754. RIVERWALK JAZZ CANDLELIGHT CONCERT SERIES Sundays through Aug. 24, 8-9:30 p.m. at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Bulkhead. Schedule is as follows: Jazza-ma-tazz, Aug. 10; Quiet Storm, Aug. 17; Josef Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express, Aug. 24. Admission is $5 per concer t, or you may purchase season tickets for $50. Bring a blanket or lawn chair

and a picnic basket. Rain location is the meeting room at Rio Bomba. For information, call Riverwalk Special Events at 821-1754. DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE Aug. 7, 14, 21 and 28, noon-2:30 p.m., at Augusta Common. Bring a lunch or eat lunch catered by the featured restaurant while listening to live music. 821-1754. HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES continues Aug. 11 with a per formance by For t Gordon Stage Band. All concer ts begin at 7 p.m. on the Windham Per forming Ar ts Stage at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. In the event of rain, concer ts will be held in Gym 2 at the H.O. Weeks Center. Free admission. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

Theater “INTO THE WOODS” will be presented by Augusta Players Youth Theatre 7 p.m. Aug. 7-8 and 5 p.m. Aug. 9 at Episcopal Day School. Tickets are $12 adult, $10 students and seniors and $8 for children 12 and under and are available at the door. For more information, call 826-4707. “THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST” membersonly per formance by the Aiken Communit y Playhouse Aug. 8-10 and 15-16. Held at the Washington Center for the Per forming Ar ts in Aiken, S.C. Call (803) 648-1438.


29 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7

Here’s your chance to be America’s next Singing Super Star! The First Ever

Augusta Idol!



You could be the next


The person named “Augusta Idol” is guaranteed an audition at the American Idol auditions in Atlanta in front of the show’s producers! Join us at Augusta Mall Saturday, August 9th, beginning at 10AM to see who will be the

Augusta Idol! Ages 16 through 24 only!

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30 ▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼ M E T R O S P I R I T

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years 1987-2002


“OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS” will be per formed at the Abbeville Opera House in Abbeville, S.C., Aug. 8-9, 15-16 and 22-23 at 8 p.m. Matinees are Aug. 9, 16 and 23 at 3 p.m. Admission is $15 for adults and $14 for youth (ages 4-12), seniors (65 and up) and groups of 10 or more. (864) 459-2157.



2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875


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SEASON TICKETS FOR THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS 2003/2004 MAINSTAGE SEASON now on sale. Shows include “Grease,” “Annie,” “Evita” and “The Wiz.” Season ticket packages range from $75-$124, with additional packages including the Glass Slipper Ball annual fundraiser in October. For more information, visit or call 826-4707.

ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP DRIVE Saturday August 2nd & 9th From 10 am to 2 pm FREE TOURS & REFRESHMENTS

NEW SEASON SHOWS Once Upon a Mattress, Love Letters*, Noises Off, A Thousand Clowns. It Runs in the Family, Boy Gets Girl, Brighton Beach Memoirs, Anne of Green Gables, Butterflies are Free* * Denotes free shows for Members

For Information Call (803) 648-1438 The Washington Center for the Performing Arts 124 Newberry St. Aiken, SC 29801

Register Now! • Small Classes for Individual Attention • Ages 3-Adult • Combination Ballet, Tap & Gymnastics Classes for Younger Students • Graded classes in Classical Ballet • Beginner to Advanced Tap, Jazz, Pointe and Theatre Dance • Ballroom

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the tex tile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admit ted free. For information, visit or call 823-0440. THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presby terian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages five and under. 722-9828. AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1-5 p.m. on Sunday. New spring and summer hours begin March 21: open Tues.-Sat. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. and Sundays 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Grounds and slave quar ters are open Thursday-Monday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. House tours will be of fered on Saturdays and Sundays at 1, 2 and 3 p.m. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6-17. For more information, call (803) 8271473. 181 Redclif fe Road, Beech Island. SACRED HEART CULTUR AL CENTER is of fering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700. HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free. The center also of fers guided driving tours of downtown Augusta and Summerville upon request. Cost for tours is $10 for adults and $5 for children ages 12 and under. Call 724-4067.

OPEN HOUSE & REGISTRATION Tues. Aug. 19 & Thurs. Aug. 21 • 4-7 pm Sat. Aug. 16 & 23 • 9 am-2 pm

Paige Mims Kortick & Kerry Bruker

40 Years Combined Experience with Margie Bruker 3497 Wheeler Road • West Augusta • 2 Blocks from Target • 733-0115

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

Museums “GONE WITH THE WIND” THEME TOUR of the Morris Museum of Ar t Aug. 17, 2 p.m. Free admission. For information, call 724-7501. SENIOR LUNCHEON AT THE LUCY CR AFT LANEY MUSEUM OF BLACK HISTORY Aug. 13, 11:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. Saudia Law ton will be the guest speaker. Luncheons are $6 per person. For reser vations, contact Kelvin Jackson, 724-3576.

“THE BLACK AESTHETIC IN AMERICAN ART HISTORY: A WALKING TOUR” Aug. 10 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Free admission. Tour star ts at 2 p.m. 724-7501. “HIDDEN IN THE GROUND: THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN PLANTATION EXPERIENCE” 30-minute film will play continuously in the History Theatre at the Augusta Museum of History throughout August. Call 722-8454. “RETURN OF THE DINOSAURS” exhibit at For t Discovery through Sept. 21. A group of animatronic dinosaurs will be on display in the Knox Gallery. Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. For information, call 821-0200 or 1-800-325-5445. THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Ware’s Folly galleries open Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; and Saturday by appointment only. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio gallery is open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 for more info. THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Stor y,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local histor y. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discover y Galler y, where kids can learn about histor y in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the Histor y Theatre and hosts a variet y of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit for more information. THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit for details. THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. Thursday-Monday. For more information, call 556-3448. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

Special Events “A SOUTHERN SMORGASBORD” AUGUSTA GENEALOGICAL SOCIETY HOMECOMING AND SEMINAR Aug. 15-17. Oppor tunities for research, workshops, lectures and more. Cost is $30 for Augusta Genealogical Society members and $35 for non-members if received by Aug. 13; af ter Aug. 13, cost is $40 per person. 738-2241. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY STATE OF THE UNIVERSITY ADDRESS will be delivered Aug. 12, 8:15 a.m., during fall convocation in the Per forming Ar ts Theatre. For more information, call 737-1444. BOOK SIGNING AND POETRY WORKSHOP with author Steve Kowit Aug. 9, 1-3 p.m., at Borders Books and Music. For information, call 737-6962. “MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE” AND “DIGISTAR VIRTUAL JOURNEY” shows at the DuPont Planetarium in Aiken Aug. 15-16. “More Than Meets the Eye” will be shown at 7 and 8 p.m. and “Digistar Vir tual Journey” will be shown at 9 p.m. Make reservations by calling (803) 641-3769, (803) 641-3654 or 278-1967, ex t. 3654. CSR A GREYHOUND ADOPTIONS will be at Animal House Aug. 9, 2-4 p.m. Animal House is located at 2917 Riverwest Drive, of f Riverwatch Parkway. For information or directions, call Animal House, 7375960, or Larry, 868-8180. ALFRED HITCHCOCK FILM SERIES on Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. throughout August at the Nancy Carson Library. No registration required and admission is

free. For more information, contact Derek Marshall or Jennie Elliot t, (803) 279-5767. MISS AUGUSTA SCHOLARSHIP PAGEANT Aug. 9, 7 p.m., at the ASU Per forming Ar ts Theatre. For more information, e-mail or call 733-8927. AT SPIRIT CREEK EDUCATIONAL FOREST: Monarch But ter fly Workshop, 8:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Aug. 9, is free. For registration information, call 790-2351. METEOR SHOWER WALK Aug. 12, 9-11 p.m. at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park. Contribution is $3 for members and $5 for non-members. Register by Aug. 11. Call 828-2109. AUGUST FILM SERIES at Headquar ters Library. All films star t at 6:30 p.m. and admission is free. Aug. 12 showing of “Y Tu Mama Tambien,” Aug. 19 showing of “Frida,” Aug. 26 showing of “Lone Star.” Call 821-2600 for information. SATURDAY MARKET ON BROAD: Main Street Augusta is seeking farmers and vendors in the CSRA to market homemade and homegrown products in downtown Augusta on Saturday mornings from August-October, 2003. The market opens Aug. 9, 8 a.m. at Augusta Common with an of ficial ribbon-cutting at 10 a.m. For an application or more information, contact Mary Killen of Main Street Augusta, 7228000, or Sheri Chambers, 664-1054 or 564-6231. PEACE VIGIL every Saturday until U.S. troops come home, noon-2 p.m. at the corner of Wrightsboro and Walton Way Ex t., near the Army Reserve Office. For more information, contact Denice Traina, 736-4738. MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz of f Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836. THE CSR A HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

Out of Town ART IN THE PARK show 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Aug. 16 at the American Legion Grounds in Blowing Rock, N.C. Free admission. For more information, call (828) 295-7851. “THE SHAKESPEARE COMEDY SPECTACULAR,” featuring performances of “The Taming of the Shrew,” “All’s Well That Ends Well,” “Twelfth Night,” “The Merry Wives of Windsor” and “Much Ado about Nothing,” will be at the New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta throughout August and September. For more information, visit or call (404) 874-5299. THE GR ANDFATHER MOUNTAIN HIGHLANDERS perform Aug. 10, 4 p.m., at the Blowing Rock Memorial Park in Blowing Rock, N.C. For more information, contact the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce at (828) 295-7851. “WILL ROGERS FOLLIES” will be presented at Theater of the Stars in Atlanta Aug. 12-17. (404) 252-8960. “RUINS AND RECONSTRUCTIONS: RECENT DR AWINGS AND SCULPTURE BY BRIAN RUST” exhibition at Bank of America Plaza in Atlanta through Oct. 2. Open 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday and by appointment. Free admission. For more information, call (404) 816-9777. DIXIE REIGNING HORSE SHOW Aug. 8-10 at the Georgia National Fairgrounds and Agricenter in Perry, Ga. Call (229) 423-2137 for information. “THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE” will be per formed through Aug. 10 at Theater of the Stars in Atlanta. Call (404) 817-8700 or visit GEORGIA MOUNTAIN FAIR through Aug. 17 in Hiawassee, Ga. Admission is $7; children under 10 get in free. Live enter tainment is included in the ticket price. Call (706) 896-4191 or visit


CUTTING HORSE SHOW Aug. 7-10 at the Georgia National Fairgrounds and Agricenter in Perry, Ga. Call (770) 943-4929 for information. GULLAH GOSPEL SUMMER CONCERT Aug. 7 and 14, 8 p.m. at the Ar ts Center of Coastal Carolina on Hilton Head Island, S.C. The Hallelujah Singers perform. Tickets are $26 adult and $13 for children under 16 years of age. Call (843) 842-ARTS for ticket information. “THE ART OF LYON HILL: THE MYSTERY AND MECHANICS OF MARIONETTES” through Aug. 18 at the Sumter Galler y of Ar t in Sumter, S.C. Call (803) 775-0543. “A SALUTE TO 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME AWARDS” runs through Jan. 18, 2004, at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga. Exhibits, programs and events honoring the 25th anniversary of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame awards. Call 1-888-GA-ROCKS for info. COWPARADE ATLANTA features over 200 life-sized, fiberglass cows painted by local ar tists and placed throughout Atlanta. The cows will be on public display through Sept. 14. For information, call (404) 898-2915 or visit GEORGIA SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL runs through Nov. 2 with per formances of “Much Ado about Nothing,” “The School for Wives,” “The Tale of Cymbeline” and “The Tempest.” Tickets are $23-$32, with special $10 preview shows. Held at the Conant Per forming Ar ts Center on the campus of Oglethorpe University in Atlanta. Call (404) 264-0020 for information.


drive less. see more.


We know you don’t have a lot of time to run all over town for appointments. That’s why we’ve opened MCG South Augusta Eye Care Associates – the only eye care center in your area. We offer

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treatments such as cataract, glaucoma and diabetic eye care.

MCG South Augusta Eye Care Associates offers: – Board certified optometrists and ophthalmologists – Comprehensive family eye care and on-site optical services – State-of-the-art equipment – Major insurance plans accepted

Please visit our new location at 3145 Peach Orchard Road (just

ON THE BRICKS concer t series continues Fridays through Aug. 22 at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta. Aug. 8 concer t features Hootie and the Blow fish, Liz Phair, Tonic, The Clarks and Bain Mat tox. Tickets are $3 per show or $25 for 12. Kids 5 and under get in free. Gates open at 5:30 p.m. Purchase tickets by phone at 1-800-594-TIX X or online at

Peach Orchard Road). To schedule an appointment, please call

HARDEEVILLE (S.C.) MOTOR SPEEDWAY 2003 R ACING SCHEDULE is Aug. 9, 16 and 30. For information, call (843) 784-RACE. THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART’S FOLK ART AND PHOTOGR APH GALLERIES host two exhibitions through Aug. 9: “Land of My th and Memory: Clarence John Laughlin and Photographers of the South” and “Faces and Places: Picturing the Self in Self-Taught Ar t.” Call (404) 577-6940.

Benefits “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR” event to benefit the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation Aug. 15, 11 p.m. at Club Argos. The Argos Angels and special guests will per form. For ticket information, call 481-8829. BEACH BASH to benefit the American Cancer Society Aug. 15 at the Radisson River front Hotel. The Swingin’ Medallions will provide live enter tainment. 722-8900. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 643-7996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home


comprehensive care – from routine eye exams to more complex

REEDY RIVER NIGHTTIME CONCERT SERIES through Aug. 28 at the Peace Center Amphitheatre in Greenville, S.C. Free. (864) 467-6667.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Old Worlds, New Lands,” through Aug. 31; “Becoming a Nation: Americana From the Diplomatic Reception Rooms, U.S. Depar tment of State,” through Aug. 31; “‘Leaves Have Their Time to Fall ...’: Reflections of Mourning in 19th Century Decorative Ar ts,” through Sept. 14; “Af ter Many Years: The Paintings of Wilmer W. Wallace and Lamar Dodd,” through Sept. 14. Call (706) 542-4662.


off Bobby Jones Expressway at the corner of Windsor Spring and (706) 796-3723.

Medical College of Georgia Health System, Augusta GA

Calling All Moms & Tots Give your children a jump start on building their faith, education & socialization.

The Most Holy Trinity’s Mother’s Day Out • New state of the art facility • Activities for moms • Minutes from Riverwalk, eateries & shopping • Easily accessible from Riverwatch Pkwy & 13th St. Bridge

For registration information please call 722-4400 Office Hours: 9:30-4:00 PM Monday - Friday

“…Let the little children come to me…” Mark 10:14

32 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3

Drug or Alcohol Problems?

Call Augusta Steppingstones to Recovery An outpatient counseling service dedicated to the relief of individuals & families suffering from Alcohol or Drug Problems

1701 Wrightsboro Rd Augusta, GA 30904


Don’t pay designer prices ...

Design it yourself.

Glass Beads • Swarovski Crystals • Vintage Glass Semi-Precious Stones • Classes “Augusta’s only full service bead store.”

YaYa Beads Beading Supplies Behind Applebee's on Washington Rd. 651-1147 • Tues-Fri 10-6 • Sat 10-5

Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning “READ HEBREW AMERICA” at the Augusta Jewish Communit y Center Wednesday evenings, 7-8:30 p.m. Aug. 20-Sept. 17. Free. Register by Aug. 15; call 228-3636. MULTIMEDIA ON THE COMPUTER WORKSHOP Aug. 16, 1-3 p.m., at the Wallace Branch Librar y. Call 722-6275. POWERPOINT COMPUTER TR AINING: BEGINNERS AND INTERMEDIATE Aug. 9 and 23, 1-3 p.m., at the Wallace Branch Librar y. Call 722-6275 for more information. BASIC MICROSOFT WORD COMPUTER TR AINING Tuesdays, Aug. 12-Sept. 9 and Thursdays, Aug. 14Sept. 11 at the Wallace Branch Library. 722-6275. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is now of fering the following classes: stained glass, ice skating, yoga, beginning shag, belly dance, introduction to the world of wine, drivers education and more. Also, ASU of fers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION of fers the following courses: Microsof t PowerPoint XP, Adobe Photoshop 6.0, Microsof t cer tified technical Education training, Health care courses, infant massage, rape aggression defense, S.C. childcare training system, defensive driving, driver education, motorcycle safety and more. Aiken Tech also of fers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health YOGA AT THE AUGUSTA JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER Sundays, Aug. 17-Sept. 21, 1:30-3 p.m. Cost is $55. To register, call 228-3636. “TALK IBS: UNDERSTANDING IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME WITH CONSTIPATION” EDUCATIONAL SEMINAR Aug. 11, 6 p.m. Held in the Senior Friends Meeting Area in Of fice Building 3 on the Doctors Hospital campus. For more information, visit or contact Deborah Hor tenstine, 651-6131. RESEARCH-BASED STRESS REDUCTION PROGR AM at St. Joseph Wellness. Call 729-6309 for more information. HATHA YOGA with Tess Stephens at the St. Joseph Wellness Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Day time classes held from 10 a.m.-noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Evening classes held from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Monday and Wednesday and also 6:30-8:30 p.m. Tuesday and Thursday. Cost is $60 per month for unlimited classes or $10 per class. For more information, contact Tess at 738-2782. FREE HATHA AND KRIYA YOGA CLASSES at Christ Church Unity. Hatha Yoga classes Mondays and Wednesdays, 9-10:30 a.m.; meditation-focused Kriya Yoga Tuesdays 6-7:30 p.m. Voluntary of ferings are accepted. Call 738-2458 for more information.


problems in your

relationship? You are not alone.

THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the third Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and suppor t for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467. DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also of fered. Call 736-0847 for details. PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE offer free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information.

See the H.B.O.Y.S. (pictured) at this weekend’s Saturday Night Live event at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza; Westobou also performs. YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m.-noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294.

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4-7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit for more information.

A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Services include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444. W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids STORYTIME AND CR AFT PROJECT Aug. 20, 11 a.m., at Headquar ters Librar y. For information, call 821-2600. “BUILDING READERS” project and story time Aug. 16, 10 a.m., at Headquar ters Library. Registration is required; call 821-2623. CHILDREN’S STORYTIME 11 a.m. Aug. 11 at Borders Books and Music. Featured stor y is “Don’t Take Your Snake for a Stroll.” For more information, call 737-6962. AUGUST FAMILY FUN DAY at the Augusta Museum of History Aug. 10, 2 p.m. The program features guided tours of the museum’s “Augusta’s Story” exhibit. Free admission. Call 722-8454 for more information. GIRLS INCORPOR ATED OF THE CSR A AFTERSCHOOL PROGR AM begins Aug. 12 and runs through May 21, 2004. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergar ten through high school. In addition to of fering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated of fers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-of f, homework room and a hot evening meal. Registration opens Aug. 4. For information, call 733-2512. STORYLAND THEATRE is now taking reservations for the 2003-2004 season: “Sleeping Beauty” Oct. 28Nov. 1, “The Cour tship of Senorita Florabella” Feb. 24-29 and “Hansel and Gretel” April 13-17. Season tickets for weekday school per formances are $9 per student; season tickets for weekend family matinees are $10.50 per person. For reservations, call Storyland Theatre at 736-3455 or fa x a request to 736-3349.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m.-noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors SPARKLING SINGLES FOR THE 50-PLUS GENER ATION social group meets Aug. 14, 2-3:30 p.m. For more information, contact Regina Orlosky or Bobbie Olivero, 826-4480, ex t. 360 or 242. SENIOR VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR THE NEW VISITOR CENTER AT PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK to greet visitors, hand out literature and sell merchandise. Volunteers are asked to commit one Saturday or Sunday per month, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1-5 p.m. Call 828-2109 for information. FIT 4 EVER LIGHT IMPACT FITNESS CLASS is $25 for 12 tickets for Aiken city residents and $45 for all others. Classes are held at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 10-11 a.m. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. THE CARE MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT COMPANY, a non-profit organization, provides transpor tation for seniors who live in the 30906 and 30815 zip code area. For a minimal fee, door-to-door shut tles provide safe, clean and dependable transpor tation 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Appointments must be made 24 hours in advance; call Linda Washington, 733-8771, or leave a message for more information. COMPUTER CLASSES FOR SENIOR CITIZENS Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. For more information, call 738-0089. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION of fers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, ar ts and craf ts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631. JUD C. HICKEY CENTER FOR ALZHEIMER’S CARE provides families and caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia a break during the day. Activities and care available at the adult day center, and homecare is available as well. For information, call 738-5039. THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING of fers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact

SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are of fered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Of fice at (803) 641-3563.

Sports TOTAL FITNESS LUNCHTIME classes at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. For ty-minute classes of fer a full workout, and full shower and locker-room facilities are available. $15 per month. Call (803) 642-7631. THE AUGUSTA JUNIOR ROWING ASSOCIATION will host an informational meeting regarding the fall season for prospective rowers and their parents Aug. 21, 6:30 p.m., at The Boathouse. For more informaton, visit or call 821-2875 or 738-3991. FAMILY Y FALL IN-LINE HOCKEY PROGR AMS are now accepting registration. Programs are available for ages 4-17. For more information, contact Donna Pope, 364-3269, or Winn Crenshaw, 733-1030. FAMILY Y FALL SOCCER REGISTR ATION: Southside Branch registration Aug. 18-29 for children 4-5 years old as of Aug. 1, 2003, 738-6680.

INTRODUCTORY AND DROP-IN CLIMBING Fridays, 5:30-6:30 p.m., at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall in Aiken. Cost is $5 per session. Call (803) 6427631 for information. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 7-9 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or email augustar You may also visit

The Fountain Is On! Come join us and enjoy lunch by the 8th Street Fountain (Don’t Forget Dinner)

Friday Karaoke with Mr. Russ Saturday Dancing with DJ Rickey Rey

--- Rio Bomba i --i

AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES Aug. 613, 18-19, 28-31 and Sept. 1. Tickets are $6-$8 for adults; $5 for senior citizens, military personnel and children 4-12; and $1 for children 3 and under. For tickets, visit or call 736-7889.



THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSR A of fers a variety of classes, including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, crochet, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.



the USC-Aiken Of fice of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288.

We open at 11am, so come spend the day!

8th & Riverwalk • 774-.0053

Want to keep that beautiful golden glow year round?

Volunteer ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA FESTIVAL is looking for volunteers to sell badges, beer and festival merchandise at this year’s festival, Sept. 19-21 at Augusta Common and Riverwalk. For more information, contact Lisa Bryant, 560-3950, 724-3728 or

Ask us about All New


EDUCATION TR AINING for those interested in leading school field trips through Augusta Golf and Gardens. Training sessions will be held 9-11 a.m. Aug. 19-21, with training to lead kindergar ten and first grade Aug. 19, second and third grades Aug. 20 and four th and fif th grades Aug. 21. To par ticipate, contact Beda Johnson at or 724-4443.

For Only $19.95/month, you can:

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Mon-Fri 7am-7pm • Sat 10am-6pm


828-0-TAN (0826)

30-day notice required to cancel Payment made by Automatic Bank Draft or credit card payment

M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3


at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation star ts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information.


WORLD HERITAGE FOREIGN EXCHANGE PROGRAM is looking for area families, couples and single parents to host high-school-aged foreign exchange students for a semester or a year in the U.S. For more information, visit or contact Beth Folland, (803) 279-2696 or 1-800-888-9040.


THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed at 481-0105 or


GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, from 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, to help sort donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds, can commit to at least 3-4 hours per month and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 736-1199, ext. 208.

7 2 0 0 3

THOROUGHBRED RACING HALL OF FAME DOCENT TRAINING DAY Aug. 11. Duties include opening and closing the Hall of Fame, greeting visitors and providing information about museum exhibits. Call Lisa Hall, (803) 642-7650 for information.

VOLUNTEER FEST at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Aug. 14, 7-8 p.m. Free. Call 828-2109 for more information. SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople star ting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business. Ser vices are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta of fice at 793-9998. SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to per form a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205.

THE SAVANNAH RIVER SITE CITIZENS ADVISORY BOARD is looking for interested Georgia and South Carolina citizens to run for membership in 2004-2005. Board membership requires a 10-15 hour per month time commitment and active par ticipation on one or more issues-based commit tees. Female applicants are especially needed. Call 1-800-249-8155 for a packet. COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGR AM VOLUNTEER TR AINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile cour t system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631. CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month

“A COURSE IN MIR ACLES” DISCUSSION GROUP meets Wednesdays, 7 p.m., at Christ Church Unity to expore writings on spirituality and inner peace. Call 738-2458. NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. in Room 430 of the Summerville Building beside St. Joseph’s Hospital. For information, contact Kathy, 650-0947, or Josie, 414-5576. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m. Call 785-0006 for location and information. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times.

CHRIST-BASED RECOVERY MEETING every Tuesday, 6:30 p.m., at the Love & Light Healing Center. Please use the back entrance. For information, contact Kenny Stacy, 373-5585.

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

FREE ‘N’ ONE SUPPORT GROUP for those bat tling addiction to drugs and alcohol. Approach is a spiritual one. Held ever y Thursday night. For information, contact Sarah Barnes, 772-7325.


TOUGH LOVE SUPPORT GROUP Monday nights, 6:307:30 p.m. at the South Augusta Resource Center. Learn how to understand addiction and how to exercise tough love with those you care about. Call Sarah Barnes, 772-7325, for info.

THE CHILDREN’S WRITERS meets Aug. 11, 6:30 p.m., at Barnes & Noble. Visitors and new members welcome; if you have work to share, please bring five copies. For information, contact Anne Iverson, 855-9433.

GEORGIA-CAROLINA TOASTMASTERS meets Wednesdays at noon at the Clubhouse, 2567 Washington Rd. $8 for lunch; visitors welcome. 860-9854.

THE GREATER AUGSUTA CHAPTER OF THE ASSOCIATION OF FUNDRAISING PROFESSIONALS meets Aug. 15, 11:30 a.m. at the Par tridge Inn. Luncheon cost is $13 for AFP members and $18 for non-members. For reservations, contact Beth Jones, 724-8481, by noon Aug. 13.

Bow Wow brings his Unleashed Tour to the Bell Auditorium Aug. 7.

Weekly OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS 12-Step Recovery Program meets Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays in Augusta and Saturdays in Waynesboro. No dues or fees. For meeting times and places, call 278-5156.

CSRA WRITERS meets Aug. 12, 6:30 p.m., at Barnes & Noble Booksellers. Writers in need of a suppor t group are invited to at tend; please bring eight copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. For information, contact Lela Turnbull, 738-4114. THE AUGUSTA ARCHAEOLOGICAL SOCIETY meets Aug. 8, 8 p.m., at Augusta Tech Building 100, Room 111. The public is welcome to at tend. For more information, visit THE AUGUSTA GENEALOGICAL SOCIETY meets Aug. 7, 7-8 p.m., at the Augusta Museum of History for a program on the origins of early set tlers of Lincoln County. Free admission. For information, contact Carrie Adamson, 738-2241. THE GIBBS LIBRARY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP will be reading “The Six teen Pleasures” by Rober ta Hellenga and will meet Aug. 18, 7 p.m. Call 863-1946 for information.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. and Saturdays at 7 p.m. at Augusta Counseling Services. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured. AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church. Call 868-8431. BUSINESS NETWORK INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7-8:30 a.m. at the Cour tyards by Mariot t. The group is a business networking group designed to give and receive referrals. All professionals welcome. For more information or to join, call Barbara Crenshaw, 868-3772. RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071. GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fa x (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to or Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

Celebrating 53 years!

Return of the Dinosaurs! NOW THROUGH SEPTEMBER 21, 2003! ! 12 robotic dinosaurs in the Knox Gallery ! Dino Dig and Rub Stations ! Photo opportunity with a Triceratops and a T.Rex ! Birthday Parties, Camp-Ins, Day Camps, Mini Camps,

Join Us For the Finest In Mediterranean Cuisine Before or After The Arts of Downtown Augusta

Daycare & Group Visits, and School Field Trips

! Dinosaur Souvenirs in The Science Store ! Special Presentations in the Discovery Theater One Seventh Street on Riverwalk 706.821.0200 ! 800.325.5445 Get Your Dino Dollar Coupon online at

Downtown Riverfront Augusta 590 Broad Street



Arts: Performance

Peeking Inside Violins


By Rhonda Jones

A U G 7 2 0 0 3


udy Volkmann’s workshop is a smallish building beyond the fig tree and the swimming pool in his backyard. A black dog chases well-fed squirrels and birds, which flutter and fuss at its approach. Inside, it’s quiet, and hot and wonderful. Tools litter the shelves. Violins in all states of repair hang glistening from the ceiling. A half-built frame rests on a table and beyond it, next to what may be a band saw, waits a box full of the body parts of violins that Volkmann has rescued from various places. Sawdust and pipe smoke fill the air. The Augusta Jazz Project director picks up half of a violin and points out the pale line of glue scarring the top. “It’s actually a remarkably unsophisticated process,” he says. “It’s just painstaking.” Blood, Sweat and Sawdust Later, he will place a damp cloth atop the glue to soften it so he can pull apart the piece and realign it. Many times, he said, amateur repairs are committed with something like Elmer’s glue, which isn’t made for violins. And even those who know enough to use wood glue, he said, often make the mistake of leaving it on the instrument. “It ruins the violin for all intents and purposes,” he says. “The glue in this doesn’t transfer sound. The glue is dead, acoustically dead.” That doesn’t sound like much, but it can make a great deal of difference, Volkmann says. “On a very good violin, even a little bit of that will be detrimental to the sound.” He explains, then, how a violin works – that the strings don’t actually send out sound themselves, but only transfer it to the top of the violin which in turn sends it to the back along a peg. So if too large a section of any sound-transferring part doesn’t

participate, he says, then the violin doesn’t sound as good as it should. In a well-done repair, he says, much of the glue will be scraped away so that the wood fibers will be attached to wood fibers. Repairing a split in the front or bottom of an instrument is a relatively easy task compared to some projects that Volkmann takes on – like the violin that had been given to him after being run over by a school bus. “I had to rebuild everything on it – tailblock, headblock.” He holds up the patchwork fiddle with the neck in one hand and the base in the other. It catches the sparse light in the shed, showing off its grain and finish in spite of the puzzle-piece scars. “It probably started out its life as a pretty decent violin,” Volkmann says, pointing out the set of fine dark lines etched around the edge of the violin’s face. Purfling, he calls it, and explains that they are layers of wood glued into the piece to prevent cracks. “Anyway, double purfling is rare. Somebody thought pretty highly of it – when they built it anyway.” As for now, he says, “I think it’s going to be a nice fiddle.” And of course, it’s his now. As often happens with Volkmann’s violins, the owner couldn’t afford to pay for the restoration, which carries a several-thousand-dollar price tag. Volkmann’s reason for taking on the project in the first place is an interesting one, and is about more than just accepting a difficult challenge. He did it, he says, as a tribute to the man who taught him to repair instruments in the first place. One of Volkmann’s first jobs after college involved keeping instrument inventory for a Michigan music store. “I had fascinating instruments to look at,” Volkmann says. “I also had a bunch of junk.” So he found Milan Trbovich, a

Yugoslavian instrument repairman who wanted to take a break from his job in Chicago, and who wound up working with Volkmann and teaching him the craft in the process. He went by the name “Mike.” Trbovich told Volkmann the story of a friend who had come to him asking to have his violin repaired. It had been in his locker at a symphony hall that had been in a bombing. Of course, Trbovich told his friend he would help him. “Where is your violin?” he asked. The unfortunate violinist presented a kerchief filled with tiny pieces. “Mike said it took him some time,” Volkmann says, pronouncing the man a master craftsman for being able to bring the shattered violin back to life. So bombs and schoolbuses can be pretty rough on instruments, Volkmann agrees. “Maybe ultimately not as hazardous to them as amateur repairmen,” he adds with a chuckle. Music Voodoo Volkmann takes down a red-stained instrument of tiger-striped maple. “This is a nice violin,” he says. I ask him what type it is. “It’s hard to tell,” he says. “It’s a private maker, but there’s a note on the inside indicating it was purchased in the 1890s.” He says that each violin is like an entity unto itself, each with its own history, each with its own personality. One piece will be going back home to Brenda Durant, executive director of the Greater Augusta Arts Council. It was the one her daughter had grown up playing and which now is being used by the ArtScape Camp kids, he said. It has been dropped, but will be back in circulation soon. Volkmann says that violins are more difficult to work with than are larger instruments like cellos and basses, but there are none of those to be seen, while several

violins await his attention. He can’t wait to see what they sound like, what personalities he will find behind those plates of maple and spruce. “There’s almost no predicting it,” he says. In addition, they seem to go through a sort of trauma when they have to undergo work, and it takes some time before they are themselves again. “You often hear things like, ‘Well, it’ll settle in. It’s still a little raw.’” Generally, he says, it takes six to eight weeks before an instrument has completely “healed.” There are also some freaky stories about what becomes of instruments based on who plays them and what happens to them on their journeys through life. “It’s generally accepted among top musicians that an instrument will change its character depending on who’s playing it,” he says. “I know that sounds just metaphysical.” “By the same token,” he adds, “a good instrument, in the hands of a not-so-good player … folklore says the instrument will lose some of its character. That’s the sort of thing that’s sort of hard to quantify.” Like music itself, he agrees. He says that, though a series of notes can be written down, the musician still needs to know how to interpret those notes. “There are hundreds of ways to play the same phrase. How it’s done, how precisely it’s done, absolutely cannot be, and should not be, written down.” Where one musician can wrench gut-felt emotion from an audience, another may not be able to move them at all. Though he has seen it all in action, he can’t tell you why it’s so. “It’s witchcraft. It’s voodoo,” he jokes, glancing at the string of injured violins, each waiting to make its voice heard.

36 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3

Arts: Theatre

A Delicious Escape! $59

“The Importance of Being Earnest” Is One of Many ACP Membership Perks


By Rhonda Jones

Enjoy a night’s stay at Augusta’s

premier hotel – The Partridge Inn. This package includes a deluxe room, the Grand Continental Buffet Breakfast and $10 Dining Credit for two people in either of the Hotel’s two acclaimed restaurants:


BAMBU ON HICKMAN – “A trendy fine dining restaurant…(where) we achieved culinary nirvana.”

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f you haven’t bought your Aiken Community Playhouse membership yet, you can still sign up in time to catch the members’ only special production of Oscar Wilde’s “The Importance of Being Earnest.” It will show Aug. 8-10 and Aug. 15-16, so if you hurry, you can seat yourself before this weekend’s performance. And to help you out, there is going to be a membership drive Saturday, Aug. 9 between the hours of 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. According to ACP’s marketing manager Dave Long, members who sign up now will not only get to see six mainstage productions for their $70 membership fee, but they will get three shows for free: this season’s “The Importance of Being Earnest,” next season’s “Once Upon a Mattress” in September, and the October members’ only production of “Love Letters.” Of course, if you miss Saturday’s membership drive, you can still sign up any time you like.

sounds they are lacking in their repertoire. So it isn’t surprising that she would find it important to handle the language of the play as authentically as possible. Asked how the actors are doing with their attempts to become English for a while, she said, “Very well.” “I have a wonderful, wonderful group. Most of the actors that I have are theatre majors. The ones that aren’t, we’ve spent a lot of time listening to accent tapes.” The show is set in 1895, and so that gives them quite an opportunity to play dress-up as well. The ladies have been practicing moving around the stage in their skirts. There have been a couple of tripping episodes, she said, but that should be ironed out by opening night. Thankfully, there are no hoop skirts in this production, as that would lend a fascinating array of mistakes. Huey herself has had some experience with them. “I used to do Christmas caroling in hoops. The first time I sat down in it, the thing The Production Basically, it’s a turnwent over my head.” of-the-century British We asked why she – Shannon Huey, Director of comedy about two was so determined to “The Importance young bachelors on a direct this particular of Being Earnest” quest for … well, the play. She had grown to sorts of things that love it a couple of young bachelors quest years ago while for. Jack Worthing and Algernon attempting to direct an ill-fated high Moncrieff want excitement and so they school production. use embellishments. Big ones and often. “My two lead actors ended up with Jack has invented a brother, whom he mono, so we had to cancel the show.” calls Ernest, and who becomes a vehicle She said the show had been chosen to allow him to leave his country home partly because it is a classic and partly to play in town. Algernon’s imaginary because they had found a royalty-free buddy, Bunbury, allows him to escape version. As she worked with the play, she the city. Of course, three’s a crowd in grew to love it. “The more I read it, the romantic pursuits, even if the interloper funnier it gets,” she said. is an alter ego. And so these young This production, she said, gives her an men’s quests – Gwendolen Fairfax and opportunity to work with a play that she Cecily Cardew – are on the line. loves, but also gives her a chance to The repartee is witty, to say the least. If complete something that she started with expertly crafted, fast-moving dialog is that high school production. your bag, then get thee to the playhouse. We asked what she loves about the play. Director Shannon Huey has opted for a “It’s a language play. It’s a lot of talkvery traditional approach to “Earnest,” ing, but it’s very engaging.” and has avoided the adaptations and any “The Importance of Being Earnest” will temptation not to use period costuming. run Aug. 8-10 and 15-16. Performances And accents. are in downtown Aiken, S.C., at the During the day, Huey is a language Washington Center for the Performing pathologist for University Hospital, help- Arts at 124 Newberry Street. For reservaing adult stroke victims relearn the skill tions and info, call (803) 648-1438 or of speaking, and helping youngsters with visit their Web site at underdeveloped speech skills make

“The more I read it, the funnier it gets.”



“Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life”


Movie Listings stewardess on a flight, doofy Dave (Adam Sandler) is ordered by a cour t into anger therapy. That means bonding with Buddy (Jack Nicholson), anger management guru, and time with Buddy's pet circle of hair-trigger loons, including Luis Guzman as a gay par ty beast and John Tur turro as a rage-aholic called Chuck. Buddy and Dave get in each other's hair, play mean pranks on each other, trade frat-level penis jokes, run up to Boston, and return to New York, where both seem to have something going with Dave's girlfriend (Marisa Tomei). "Anger Management" is not bad enough to make you angry, because inevitably the cast cooks up some silly fun. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Adam Sandler, John Tur turro, Marisa Tomei, Luis Guzman, Woody Harrelson. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ American Wedding (R) — Jim (Jason Biggs) is going to marry his nerdy, peppy, fresh-faced, relentlessly horny girlfriend Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). This, of course, requires a bachelor par ty (strippers), a meeting of the in-laws and shopping for the wedding dress (a dance-off at a gay bar), not to mention the catastrophe-bound event itself. "American Wedding" becomes something of a showcase for Seann William Scot t, who gets to strut his stuff right up to — and then well over — the top. Another saving grace is the presence of Eugene Levy, once again por traying Jim's dad, and Fred Willard, as the father of the bride. All of which might sound like a recommendation, which this most cer tainly is not. But essentially, the thing is harmless. Cast: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scot t, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 Bad Boys II (R) — Vulgar, brazen, crass, violent, stupid, juvenile, loud, long and pointless — "Bad Boys II" is all that, plus a thin slice of enter taining. The scene is Miami. Marcus (Mar tin Lawrence) and par tner Mike (Will Smith) are back as narcs pledged to double duty: to collar nasty crooks, and to tickle the audience with cute bonding humor. They kick off this par ty by blowing a major drug bust while messing up a Ku Klux Klan rally at the drop site for smuggled dope. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer gives us not story, but the idea of story as gooey plot pizza; not violence, but the idea of violence as car toonish pulp; not style, but the idea of style as

shiny pictures for gaping apes; not comedy, but the idea of comedy as compulsive imbecility; not fun, but the idea of fun as a migraine of lavishly cheap jolts. Cast: Will Smith, Mar tin Lawrence, Gabrielle Union, Joe Pantoliano, Jordi Molla. Running time: 2 hrs., 30 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) — English teen Jess Bahmra adores football star David Beckham. She’d also love to be able to play the spor t, but her strictly traditional parents forbid her from doing so in the hopes that she will marry in an Indian wedding ceremony. After Jess meets new pal Jules, who plays on an all-female football team, she joins the squad while keeping her new ex tracurricular activity a secret from her parents. Fur ther complicating mat ters, both girls find themselves falling for handsome coach Joe. Cast: Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Anupam Kher, Archie Panjabi, Shaznay Lewis. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. Bringing Down the House (PG-13) — Queen Latifah smoothly pockets "Bringing Down the House" as Charlene, a good-hear ted fugitive from the law, turning to a starchy, divorced tax at torney for refuge and suppor t. Steve Mar tin is the lawyer, Peter. The core idea of this very simple comedy is pure buzz of contrast: Latifah is abundantly, explosively black, while Mar tin may be the whitest man ever to star in movies. Latifah rides out the nonsense in her queenly, Pearl Bailey style. It's a cookie-cut comedy. The movie delivers its very manufactured goods, but it lacks the guts to be a meaningful comedy. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Joan Plowright, Jean Smar t, Bet ty White. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Bruce Almighty (PG-13) — Jim Carrey is Bruce, the goofy features repor ter on a TV station in Buffalo. He aspires to become a "serious" anchor, but af ter blowing his cool on the air, loses his job and has a rif t with his sweet, please-marry-me girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston). There cometh unto Buffalo the Almighty (Morgan Freeman). The Lord loans his powers to Bruce. Time for some payback, some wild stunts, some sexual dazzling of Aniston, some nudges of satire. Like Mel Brooks as Moses in "History of the World, Par t I," Carrey has climbed the comical Mount Sinai and, like Brooks, he has dropped a tablet on the way down. One of the pieces is "Bruce Almighty." Cast: Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Baker Hall, Catherine Bell.

“American Wedding”


2 0 0 3

Courtesy of Paramount Pictues

Anger Management (PG-13) — Af ter "assaulting" a


Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Chicago (PG-13) —- It's been 23 years since Richard Gere stripped on Broadway for "Bent." Now he gets to pull off his clothes as slick shyster Billy Flynn. Mostly in wonderful suits, his hair shining like creased silver, Gere is having the best time of his movie life, singing and tapdancing and lording over women with rakish snaz. He's a lioness-tamer; the main cats are Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a cabaret sex bazooka and killer on Death Row and newcomer Roxie Har t (Renee Zellweger), a Bet ty Boop who killed her lover. For cash and headlines, Flynn will help guilty women beat the law. "Chicago" is zip for depth, but it has all the sexy sur face it needs to be ex travagantly alive. It tops off at the Chicago Theater, and the old show palace looks delighted. Cast: Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Richard Gere, John C. Reilly, Queen Latifah, Christine Baranski, Taye Diggs. Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Daddy Day Care (PG) — Looking very much like the engorged warm-up for a future TV sitcom, "Daddy Day Care" stars Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin as cereal company promo men who lose their jobs, then star t a home day-care facility. There is an absurdly snooty villain (Anjelica Huston), owner of a posh day-care school. The kids are central casting darlings. The movie, which has a stern warning against sugar-based cereals, is sugared cereal. Cast: Eddie Murphy, Anjelica Huston, Jeff Garlin, Steve Zahn, Regina King. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (PG-13) — may be the dumbest, at least this year. Sad, for

Courtesy of Universal Pictures

those who recall its very popular and funny parent. 1994's "Dumb & Dumber" had Jim Carrey (Lloyd) and Jeff Daniels (Harry) as per fectly cast dodo buddies who don't know they are stupid losers. As slob soul mates, they achieved a rare blend: crass with finesse. Now, the finesse is gone. For the new, young H&L, Eric Christian Olsen as Lloyd looks like a teen Carrey, and has some of the crazed ego energy. Derek Richardson has Daniels' flying hair and pudding face, but without the sly craf t that Daniels brought to foolishness. It's a prequel, and in high school the boys bond so firm and fast that soon the movie stages a slow-mo salute to their friendship. You must be very challenged to enjoy stuff like that. Cast: Eric Christian Olsen, Derek Richardson, Rachel Nichols, Chedri Oteri, Luis Guzman, Eugene Levy. Running time: 1 hr., 22 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Finding Nemo (G) — A father clown fish (Alber t Brooks) tracks young son Nemo through the Pacific to Sydney, Australia, af ter the small fry is caught and sold for a fish tank. Ellen DeGeneres voices adorable Dory, who is very pret ty and helpful as Marlin's search mate. The humans are alien invaders, big and nearly thoughtless. If "Finding Nemo"


★★★★ — Excellent.

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

is just another of our plex distractions, then it's a giddy bummer, but as a whimsical warning with bite it arrives just in time. Helping to make the seas a lasting realm for real Nemos could be the good, giving backwash of "Finding Nemo." Cast: Alber t Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe, Austin Pendleton, Vicki Lewis, Geoffrey Rush, Barry Humphries. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Freaky Friday (PG) — It’s the updated version of the ‘70s film, starring Jamie Lee Cur tis as a frazzled mom and Lindsay Lohan as her rebellious teen-age daughter. The two are constantly arguing and both wish they could be someone else. When their wish comes true and the two end up switching bodies, they have to find a way back to their normal selves – before Mom walks down the aisle again. Cast: Jamie Lee Cur tis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Christina Vidal. Gigli (R) — This is about the "chemistry" of Jennifer Lopez (J.Lo to millions) and Ben Affleck (B.Af to fewer), who have been having, to the joy of all tab readers, an S.Rom (sizzling romance). Their new L.Mo (lousy movie) is Mar tin Brest's comedy about a tough guy, Larry Gigli (Affleck). He is hired by a scumball (Lenny Venito) who substitutes profanity for English to kidnap the retarded teen brother of a federal prosecutor. He and Gigli both learn to love Ricki (Lopez), another "contractor" hired by the scum to watch them. She is a proudly lesbian killer-tootsie. This is the cinema of at titude pampered beyond lousy teen comedy to some post-Tarantino end zone of stupified "adulthood." Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, Justin Bar tha, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) Rated R. 0 Holes (PG) — Adapted by Louis Sachar from his highly successful novel, "Holes" has a thick shellac of literary fidelity — Sachar trying to tuck his book elements into one of the quirkiest movies Disney has ever released. "Holes" is mostly set in a juvenile detention camp in the deser t. Teen boys are made to dig big holes to find a legendary Old West crime treasure, coveted by the whip-voiced warden (Sigourney Weaver), her yokel henchman called Mr. Sir (Jon Voight) and their prissy assistant (Tim Blake Nelson). The new boy on the digging detail is Stanley Yelnats. Director Andrew Davis, so sure with the tensions of "Under Siege" and "The Fugitive," is amiably sweating this assignment. His tone veers off on fishing expeditions, sly humor and pathos casting their baited lines nex t to teen terror and prat falling hokum. My kids liked it somewhat more than I did, which probably sums up the movie about as well as anything should. Cast: Jon Voight, Sigourney Weaver, Shia LaBeouf,

0— Not worthy.

continued on page 38


“Bad Boys 2”



2 0 0 3

Courtesy of Universal Pictures


Courtsey of Columbia Pictures


continued from page 37 Khleo Thomas, Tim Blake Nelson, Henry Winkler, Ear tha Kit t. Running time: 1 hr., 51 mins. ★★1/2 Identity (R) — Plot disposables converge at a Nevada motel in this "thriller," victims of bad luck, ripe for grotesque ends: Rebecca DeMornay as a snippy actress, John C. Ginley as a nerd husband, John Hawkes as a motel geek, Amanda Peet as a prostitute, Clea DuVall as a bride who keeps screaming, Jake Busey as a killer psycho, Ray Liot ta as a cop who may be a psycho, John Cusack as ex-cop and possible psycho, Bret t Loehr as a witnessing child who should, by the end, be psychotic. This soggy pulp has rain on the brain even worse than "Basic." Running time: 1 hr., 27 mins. (Elliot t) 0 Johnny English (PG) — The film, set in England, has a paper-thin plot that goes something like this: A mad nobleman seeks revenge against her majesty for not receiving his right ful inheritance. He sets in motion a chain of events, such as stealing the crown jewels and forcing the queen to abdicate to make him king. The only thing standing in his way is Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson). English is a lowly

office worker who suddenly becomes a secret agent af ter the rest of the agents are killed. And English, who thinks he's the right man for the job, hasn't a clue that the rest of the world sees him as a bumbling idiot. During a daydream, English says to a slinky vixen that he's going to "try not to disappoint." Too late. Cast: Rowan Atkinson, Natalie Imbruglia, Ben Miller and John Malkovich. Running time: 1 hr., 27 mins. (McCormick) 0

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (PG13) — Sean Connery's Allan Quatermain is a former

adventurer suffering from disillusionment and a broken hear t. A mysterious Brit who calls himself "M" finds the physically fit Quatermain in Africa with predictions of impending doom and a request by Queen Victoria to help save the world. An opium-wracked Quatermain is tracked down by the Dracula-inspired character Mina Harker (Peta Wilson), who is introduced a lit tle later in the film, as are Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Invisible Man. One might forgive some of the clunky editing and pasted-together plotlines. Less forgivable is the contrived, bringon-the-sequel ending. Unforgivable and completely baffling is the dimming of Connery's star-power. Cast: Sean Connery,

Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Stuar t Townsend and Shane West. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Wood) ★★ The Lizzie McGuire Movie (PG) — is something between taffy, tapioca and a gold brick smoothly entering the Disney vault. It stars Hilary Duff, 15, the lit tle Houston gal made a household name by the Disney Channel's "Lizzie McGuire" show. The movie takes Lizzie to Rome, where she soon splits off from her school tour to be shown the city by dreamboat Paolo (Yani Gellman). He's half of a bubble-gum Euro-pop duo, the female half being gone for reasons that are stupid. Lizzie is her look-alike, and gamely subs for her at appearances, even a concer t at the antique Colosseum. The city looks grand as ever, Lizzie smiles splendidly, Paolo gets a bum exit. His dreamboat sinks, but Rome, being old and wise, does not weep. Cast: Hilary Duff, Adam Lamberg, Alex Borstein, Yani Gellman. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) — Brad “B-rad” Gluckman ain’t no Eminem. He’s Malibu’s worst rapper, a rich white boy who thinks he has the nuances of the hip-hop lifestyle down pat. Nothing could be fur ther from the truth, and when B-rad’s embarrassing antics creep into his father’s

campaign for governor of California, the family decides that some tough love might be in order. Cast: Jamie Kennedy, Blair Underwood, Ryan O’Neal, Taye Diggs.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13) — The movie will be a shocker

for anyone expecting watery gruel ex tracted from a Disneyland-ride base. This "Pirates of the Caribbean" is an original, with clever plot ting, some rapierlike dialogue and a scurvy crew of first-rate second bananas. When the Black Pearl, the invincible pirate ship commanded by the dread Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) storms Por t Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the governor's beautiful daughter, what can her secret admirer, the lowly blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), do but go af ter her? He's forced to team up with the immensely unreliable Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). The movie lies becalmed when Depp/Sparrow is absent; when he's on screen, it's a rousing good time. Since he's on screen a good par t of the time, that makes "Pirates of the Caribbean" a rousing good movie. Arrrrr! Cast: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Pryce. Running time: 2 hrs., 14 mins. (Salm) ★★★

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Seabiscuit (PG-13) — Charles Howard, acted by Jeff

Bridges, is a brawny, self-made man whose success as an auto biz wiz led to personal tragedy, then a healing fancy for horses. Mostly, for Seabiscuit. Two other men also are saviors of Seabiscuit, in turn saved by him. Chris Cooper is trainer Tom Smith, a folksy genius of horse sense; and the scrappy jockey, Johnny "Red" Pollard, a Depression castaway stuck with dud horses and even bare-knuckle boxing, is acted by scrawny but muscular Tobey Maguire. The film piles on glossy contex t, but it finds its legs once the beloved horse turns into a come-from-behind challenger, egged on by the media. As a scrappy fable, this corn pops well, emotionally. Cast: Jeff Bridges, Tobey Maguire, Chris Cooper, William H. Macy, Elizabeth Banks. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) — Now the boyish Juni Cor tez (Daryl Sabara) is a private investigator, the rest of his family away spying, and Juni is pulled into the evil video game empire of the Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone). He must rise through levels, liberate sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) and prove himself as the Guy. Mostly he must sur f through gaudy storms of computerized effects, of ten in 3-D (yes, you wear glasses). There are robots and blue-tongued monsters and frantic chases. For a while, leathery grandpa Ricardo Montalban is liberated by animation from a wheelchair to clank around in a huge metal suit. Montalban is always a kick, but the movie is about as Hispanic as a pinata made in Taiwan. Cast: Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega, Sylvester Stallone, Ricardo Montalban, Salma Hayek. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) — Situations are reversed when the Los Angleles Police Depar tment’s S.W.A.T. team is called on to protect a high-profile criminal. The film is based upon the shor t-lived ‘70s television series. Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Farrell, LL Cool J, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeremy Renner. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (R) — An almost unbroken stream of mighty mayhem, high on the bliss of eviscerated metal. Arnold returns as the Terminator, to save the future leaders of mankind (Nick Stahl, Claire Danes) from a vicious terminatrix (Kristanna Loken) who is like the sleek evil twin of the computerized vamp in "Simone." It goes where it must, to nuclear hell, and is weirdly satisfying. 1 hr., 48 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★

Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) —

Angelina Jolie recycles as Lara Crof t, tracking down a golden ball that leads to a magical chest that is Pandora's mythic box. Chief villain Ciaran Hinds is a bulging suit who wants to release hellish plagues on the world. The high point goes nowhere but down, a long, gliding jump off a Hong Kong skyscraper. Many exotic places are visited, each one posing

like a theme park. But then the wowzer payoff: a hokey cave with acid pools and ugly tree monsters fiercely auditioning for "Lord of the Rings: The Final Nonsense." Cast: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, Djimon Hounsou. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Elliot t) ★ 28 Days Later (R) — opens with berserk lab chimps being freed by perhaps crazier animal rights activists. The chimps infect the British Isles, so that London is soon deser ted except for corpses, some prowling zombies and a very few healthy survivors. Twenty-eight days af ter the chimps escape, cycle messenger Jim (Cillian Murphy) stumbles into the scared, but tough Selena (Naomi Harris). They light out for the territory. The infected zombies, whose blood can ruin you with one well-placed drop, are ready to pounce from shadows. Inevitably the plot heads for genre midnight, with strobed lightning and ravenous gobblers and a rock score amped for madness. The posh is pulped. Cast: Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Noan Huntley, Brendan Gleeson, Christopher Eccleston. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 Wrong Turn (R) — Bad luck befalls Chris (Desmond Harrington) when he sets out on a three-hour tour to Raleigh for a job interview. He’s barely star ted down the freeway when an accident up ahead halts traffic. Taking a windy and isolated dir t road to get around the jam, Chris doesn’t see the SUV full of teens that is stopped in the middle of the road, tires mysteriously blown out. Investigating the accident scene, the group finds a strand of barbed wire stretched across the road — could it be a trap? Cast: Eliza Dushku, Desmond Harrington, Jeremy Sisto, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Lindy Booth. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. X2 (PG-13) — At the hub is the dutiful sequel section, laboring to ex tend the fantasy of a human world infiltrated by power ful, feared mutants, which the 2000 film transplanted from its comic-book roots. Then there is the effects section, each mutant get ting a chance to show his/her powers. There is the senior section of power ful old men, the creepy wizard Magneto (Ian McKellen) maintaining a duel of Elite British Accents with the paranormal seer Xavier (Patrick Stewar t). And the "check 'em out" section for new or aspiring stars (Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Kelly Hu, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Aaron Stanford). "X2" seems to have been made by and for people who constantly switch between "Star Trek" episodes and James Bond reruns, while hoping for some Hannibal Lecter. Cast: Patrick Stewar t, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin. Running time: 2 hrs., 5 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

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Cinema: Close-Up

Jamie Lee Curtis Makes “Freaky Friday” Fun By Joey Berlin


efore she takes her seat in a luxury Beverly Hills hotel suite to discuss her new comedy, “Freaky Friday,” Jamie Lee Curtis writes “Make Good Choices” on a dry-erase board at the front of the room. That is her signature improvised line in the new Disney movie, the one she yells across a high-school parking lot to her rambunctious teenage daughter. A fun remake of the 1976 film, the new “Freaky Friday” is a modern fable about a mother and daughter who magically switch bodies and learn to appreciate each other. The daughter of Tinseltown stars Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh, Curtis, 44, is an acting veteran who first found fame in a series of low-budget horror flicks. She is also a writer of children’s books, the wife of actorwriter-director Christopher Guest, and the mother of two adopted children. Q: “Make good choices.” As a mother yourself, is that your favorite line from the movie? A: That’s my mantra. That’s my ad-libbed contribution to “Freaky Friday.” I say it now to my own daughter, every single time she leaves the house. Q: Lindsay Lohan, who plays your daughter in “Freaky Friday,” seems to have taken the advice as well. She is so grounded. A: She has made good choices. My daughter does also. She’s got a great head on her shoulders. And, you know, the whole idea of raising kids is that, at some point, you’re supposed to let them go. You have to hope that the person you have helped all along makes good choices in their life. You have to let them make choices, and make some bad choices, so they know the difference.

Q: Not very many Hollywood actresses would scream to the camera, “I look like the Crypt Keeper!” the way you do in “Freaky Friday.” A: But I do look like the Crypt Keeper. I throw vanity out the window in every single thing I do. It’s actually why I think I’m successful, because I really don’t care. I think the best I can ever be is when I really let go. I was never pretty. But to me, the more I can become somebody else, the more fun and the better the work is going to be. I much prefer to be the clown.

Q: Why did you choose to do a “Freaky Friday” remake? A: It was not my choice. That’s the miracle of being an actor, you just show up. You know, I think the original “Freaky Friday” was a farce. This version is more of a fable, so you have the opportunity to actually tell something magical, but then ground it in some reality.

Q: Do you hope this film really affects mothers and daughters who watch it together? A: There’s a nice sort of walk-a-mile-inmy-shoes message at the core of the movie, but it’s not reaching for any great Oprah moment. This is a fun family comedy. It’s designed to be a movie that a father and mother, a teenage daughter or son and even their 8-year-old can go to. This is a light, frothy Disney comedy that I think works terrifically. And if it sparks a little dialogue, wonderful.

Q: Why do you not take part in your husband’s movies? A: You know, I’ve been married for a long time to Chris, and appreciated his talent for a long time. None of his stuff is written, it’s all improvised, so all of his movies are totally made up on the spot. I prefer having my line on the page, then I read it, then I say it. That’s my background. So I don’t think I’ll ever be in a movie of his. Of course, I now have the pleasure of people coming up to me saying, “Hi! I liked ‘Freaky Friday,’ it was good. But Chris is a genius!” And, you know, that’s just really fun, because I’ve known that for a long time. It makes me just smile.

Q: Are you still amazed by your body of work over 25 years? A: If I look back, which I rarely do, I’m just shocked that I’ve been able to do any of this. It’s just not the way I ever thought my life would go. I have a weird career. You know, I’m driving down Sunset Boulevard and my little boy, Tommy, the greatest little boy you’ve ever met — funny guy, funny voice — he’s in the back seat, he says, “Mom, is that you on the side of the building?” And I look up, and there I am on a building on Sunset Boulevard. I’m sitting there thinking, OK, this is weird. I really never thought any of this would ever happen. It’s really surreal.

Cinema: Review

“S.W.A.T.” Full of Stale Action and Hot Men By Rachel Deahl

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41 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7



he S.W.A.T. team, or Special Weapons and Tactics division, is that police group which comes storming into dire situations decked out in riot gear and armed with an excess of semi-automatic weapons. What’s more exciting than that, right? Apparently, quite a bit. In this tired police procedural, which focuses on the equivalent of the L.A.P.D.’s special ops division, the titular acronym says it all as a rash of various guns and door-smashings stand in for a stimulating plot and interesting characters. Director Clark Johnson, who heretofore has worked in television (helming episodes of such gritty police dramas as HBO’s "The Wire" and lauded series "The Shield"), seemingly sleepwalks through his big screen debut. “S.W.A.T.” opens with a frenetic downtown assault on L.A. as a group of bank robbers open fire on the streets of the city and attempt to escape a botched crime. Police cars fill the streets and helicopters buzz overhead as the scene is intercut with jumpy digital video shots of the action above and below. When the S.W.A.T. team is finally called in to deal with the criminals inside the bank, a dashing Colin Farrell leads the charge. And, when his partner (Jeremy Renner) disobeys the order to hold and nicks a hostage while taking out one of the gunmen, we all know what waits at the end of the day: a suspension. As Farrell’s clean-cut boy in blue heads into the chief’s office the obligatory exchange about Farrell unfolds: he’s a great cop who can’t obey orders and, of course, he’s got an attitude problem. Waiting for mention of Farrell’s hero cop father or some other cliché (which thankfully never comes), the indignant officer sells out his buddy to keep his place on the force and to right the day’s wrong. Farrell’s top cop may have a bad attitude, but he also has a conscience. Played out like a cop show that should have been cancelled seasons ago, “S.W.A.T”. is nothing if boring. Samuel L. Jackson shows up as the veteran S.W.A.T. trainer who’s called in to put together a team to improve the tarnished reputation of the department. And, since he’s also got beef with upper management, he opts to

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476 Flowing Wells Road, D1 • Martinez, GA 30907 • 706-364-0731 have Farrell (the guy who screwed up the reputation of said department to begin with) on his young squad. What ensues are training sessions followed by a series of actual situations in which the new team tries to recapture an escaped international arms dealer (the stunning Olivier Martinez, who made more than a few hearts skip a beat as Diane Lane’s boy toy in “Unfaithful”). The only thing “S.W.A.T.” does have is a plethora of hunks. While Farrell and Martinez alone are enough to make the venture worthwhile, “S.W.A.T.” offers something for everyone. Fellow cops played by L.L. Cool J and Josh Charles allow those who like their men buff or dorky, respectively, to feast their eyes as well. Although “S.W.A.T.” has plenty of hardbodies and chiseled faces, it never capitalizes on its beefcake factor. Why the director neglected to include some towel-slapping locker room scenes and shirtless volleyball games (who wouldn’t love to see an update on “Top Gun” with Colin Farrell and L.L. standing in for Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer?) we’ll never know. Than again, opening one weekend after the abysmal "Gigli," audience standards might be so low that “S.W.A.T.’s” stale action will seem almost acceptable.

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REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 8/8 - 8/14 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 12:50, 2:35, 3:20, 4:50, 5:30, 7:05, 7:55, 9:40, 10:15, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 12:50, 2:35, 3:20, 4:50, 5:30, 7:05, 7:55, 9:40, 10:15 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 12:40, 1:15, 2:45, 3:30, 4:15, 5:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:15, 9:45, 10:20, 11:00, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 12:40, 1:15, 2:45, 3:30, 4:15, 5:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:15, 9:45, 10:20 Gigli (R) Fri-Sat: 9:50, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 9:50 Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 6:45, 9:20, 11:55; Sun-Thur: 6:45, 9:20 American Wedding (R) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 12:35, 1:10, 2:25, 3:00, 3:45, 4:45, 5:15, 7:10, 7:40, 8:10, 9:30, 10:00, 10:40, 12:00, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 12:35, 1:10, 2:25, 3:00, 3:45, 4:45, 5:15, 7:10, 7:40, 8:10, 9:30, 10:00, 10:40 Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 3:10, 6:50, 9:35, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 3:10, 6:50, 9:35 Seabiscuit (PG-13) 12:55, 1:25, 3:55, 4:25, 6:55, 7:25, 9:55, 10:25 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 12:30, 2:20, 2:50, 4:30, 5:00, 7:15, 9:25, 11:35; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 12:30, 2:20, 2:50, 4:30, 5:00, 7:15, 9:25 Bad Boys 2 (R) Fri-Sat: 12:45, 1:20, 4:05, 4:40, 7:35, 8:05, 10:50, 11:30; Sun-Thur: 12:45, 1:20, 4:05, 4:40, 7:35, 8:05, 10:50 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) 1:30, 4:35, 7:45, 10:55 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (PG-13) 2:05, 5:00, 7:50, 10:30 Terminator 3 (R) Fri-Sat: 1:35, 4:10, 7:20, 9:50, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 1:35, 4:10, 7:20, 9:50 28 Days Later (R) 12:15, 2:45, 5:20, 8:00, 10:45 Finding Nemo (G) 2:00, 4:30, 7:00

A U G 7 2 0 0 3

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EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/8 - 8/14 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri-Sun: 12:55, 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) 1:55, 4:40, 7:25, 9:40 Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) 2:10, 5:00, 7:15, 9:35 Gigli (R) 2:00, 9:55 American Wedding (R) Fri-Sun: 1:10, 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:00 Seabiscuit (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 4:10, 7:10, 9:50 Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:20, 7:20, 9:45 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:45, 3:45, 5:45, 7:45, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 3:45, 5:45, 7:45, 9:40 Bad Boys 2 (R) Fri-Sun: 12:50, 3:50, 7:05, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 3:50, 7:05, 9:50

Johnny English (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 7:00, 9:55 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (PG-13) 9:25 Terminator 3 (R) 4:30, 7:35 Finding Nemo (G) Fri-Sun: 12:50, 3:00, 5:10, 7:20; Mon-Thur: 3:00, 5:10, 7:20 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/8 - 8/14 Freak y Friday (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 5:10, 7:10, 9:25 S.W.A.T. (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 4:15, 7:15, 9:50 Gigli (R) Fri-Sun: 1:30; Mon-Thur: 4:00 American Wedding (R) Fri-Sun: 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 7:20, 9:30 Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:25, 4:25, 7:25, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 4:25, 7:25, 9:40 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 7:05, 9:05 Bad Boys 2 (R) Fri-Sun: 3:45, 6:45, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 6:45, 9:35 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:00, 4:05, 6:55, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 4:05, 6:55, 9:45 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/8 - 8/14 Bruce Almighty (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 12:55, 3:00, 5:05, 7:25, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 2:15, 4:40, 7:20, 9:35 Daddy Day Care (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:10, 7:35, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 2:25, 4:45, 7:25, 9:40 X2 (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 12:50, 4:25, 7:50; Mon-Thur: 1:55, 4:50, 7:50 Wrong Turn (R) Fri-Sun: 1:10, 3:10, 5:15, 7:40, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 1:45, 4:50, 7:40, 9:55 The Lizzie McGuire Movie (PG) Fri-Sun: 12:45, 2:50, 5:00, 7:15, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 2:20, 4:50, 7:15, 9:30 Dumb and Dumberer (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 12:50, 2:55, 5:00, 7:20, 9:35; Mon-Thur: 2:30, 5:05, 7:30, 9:45 Identity (R) Fri-Sun: 1:00, 3:05, 5:10, 7:30, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 2:35, 4:55, 7:35, 9:50 Chicago (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:30, 4:40, 7:05, 9:20; Mon-Thur: 2:05, 4:25, 7:05, 9:20 Holes (PG) Fri-Sun: 1:20, 4:30, 7:00, 9:25; MonThur: 1:55, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 Anger Management (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:25, 4:35, 7:00, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 2:00, 4:20, 7:00, 9:15 Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:15, 3:15, 5:20, 7:45, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 2:45, 5:00, 7:45, 9:55 Bringing Down the House (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 1:35, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30; Mon-Thur: 2:10, 4:35, 7:10, 9:25

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.


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Sulcus Groove Juggles Responsibility and Rock

A U G 7

By Lisa Jordan

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irst of all, imagine (that is, if you’re not there already) you’re a student in medical school – the studying, the tests, the specialized training. Then, on top of that, picture yourself as part of a band – the practice sessions, booking gigs, hauling equipment. Sound stressful? It’s all in a day’s work for the guys in Sulcus Groove. “We’re all students at MCG. Four out of the five of us all came in the same class together,” says drummer Bryan Wells. “Just through conversation, we realized we were all interested in music and had a little bit of experience, so we decided to get together and play just for fun.” What started out as a “just for fun” proposition has turned into an all-out band, complete with monthly gigs around the Augusta area. “We didn’t actually play gigs until the second year. That’s when the singer came in,” Wells explains. “We got a studio, started practicing a lot, learned a setlist of cover songs. … I would just book our gigs months in advance, because I knew our test schedules.” “We tried to schedule most of our shows after a test,” says guitarist Dave Townsend. “It’s very much so a release from the stress of school.” Bassist Andrew Franklin also sees the band as theraputic. “It’s odd that banging on drums or playing music really loud is stress relief,” he says. “It’s just kind of maintained our sanity a little bit. Basically, we’re in it just for the fun of it. It’s not a job or anything to us. If we want to do a show, we do a show. If we want to write some music, we write some music. It’s just really relaxed. It’s one of the main reasons I’ve continued with it.” Wells agrees that Sulcus Groove’s pastime is a pleasant diversion from the hard work they put in as students. “It’s just really a great hobby, a good release from school, hanging out with four guys that you’re friends with,” he says. “That helps because there’s not a lot of free time in medical school, and you want it to be well spent. You want it to be spent with people you enjoy to be with.” Now that most of the band members are entering their third year at MCG, the time crunch will be a little more pressing. Wells explained that the first two years of med

school are spent primarily in a classroom setting, with focus on courses like anatomy, physiology and pathology, as well as some clinical training. The last two years are spent in hospitals, working on specialized areas of medicine in four- to six-week rotations, which is when students decide just what area they’ll focus on before applying for a residency. “Just the time, we can be working as much as 80 hours a week on certain hospital rotations,” Wells says. “We had time the first and second years – some of your classes end at noon. It actually worked out well. Although we were busy, when we had off time, it was on the same schedule. If we had a few hours off, we’d just go play that day.” Although singer Andrew Hester took a year off between his undergraduate studies and medical school, which makes him the only Sulcus Groove member going into his second year at MCG, he’s not worried

about scheduling conflicts within the band. “For me, it’s fine, because I always end up having a little bit more time to do whatever,” he says. “At least this way, when we need to practice, they can set it up. I can pretty much show up.” And anyway, if you’ve already made it as far as med school, Hester says, “You’ve got to be very, very good at time management.” So far, Sulcus Groove’s organized approach has also shown a few benefits. “We’re making the calls,” says Wells. “We can play as much as we want or as little as we want, because it’s not a career for us. … And that’s another benefit: We’re not too worried about pleasing anybody, so we get to pick the songs we want to play.” That includes everything from The Doors and Van Morrison to newer material by bands like Incubus and Pearl Jam, as well as Sulcus Groove’s original material.

“We play a little different music than anyone in town,” Wells says. “We’re playing more of the stuff that you’ll hear on the radio. So it’s old and new songs.” Between the support of fellow MCG students and staff and the curious public, who want to know just how the members juggle their responsibilities, Sulcus Groove – rounded out by guitarist John Gleason – draws quite a crowd wherever they play. “It’s completely due to our classmates,” says Townsend. “We got so much more support than we ever expected.” “We have a strong following just from MCG,” adds Wells. “We have a large class of medical students, and it’s a pretty tight-knit group that likes to socialize.” Sulcus Groove kicks off the school year with an Aug. 16 show at Crossroads. For more information, call the venue at 724-4511.


44 M E T R O



A U G 7 2 0 0 3




Sun, Aug 10


Music at 10 pm $3 Cover 21 & Up after 10 pm $2 HAPPY HOUR Mon-Fri 4:30-7:00 Sat & Sun 3:00-7:00 LIVE MUSIC EVERY SUNDAY!

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OME OF WE’RE YOUR H FALCONS THE ATLANTA Live Music Every Thursday Night Brandon (Big Mighty) & Friends 10pm-1am 23 TV’S COLD DRINKS GREAT FOOD

here’s only one brother left but in this band everyone’s like family. The ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND visits Atlanta’s Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheater on Friday Aug. 8 and Charlotte’s Verizon “shed” the following night. Touring in support of their retro-excellent “Hittin’ the Note” disc, the band hasn’t sounded this good in years. The return of guitarist WARREN HAYNES to the fold has been the catalyst for the band’s gelling on stage and in the studio, and his guitar interplay with DEREK TRUCKS gives the group the same intensity that they had back in the “Live from the Fillmore East” days. A sober GREGG ALLMAN completes the circle. It’ll be a party. Looming Large in His Legend Dept. Liking RINGO STARR’s solo career has long been a guilty pleasure. It’s obvious that the drummer’s voice has never been that great, but his charm, charisma and the fact that he was part of “the greatest show on earth” gets to me almost every time. Sure, some of his albums, especially from the late ‘70s to the early ‘90s, were quite uneven affairs but his ALL-STARR BAND concept is a terrific way to spend an evening. Performing along with THE BEATLES drummer this time around are COLIN HAY (MEN AT WORK), JOHN WAITE (THE BABY’S), PAUL CARRACK (ACE, SQUEEZE, MIKE AND THE MECHANICS) and percussion wonderwoman SHEILA E. The hit-filled contingent visits Atlanta’s Chastain Park August 13. BLUES TRAVELER’s newie “Truth Be Told” drops this week. The band, who’ve recorded six gold and platinum albums over the past decade, spent a short two months recording the disc in California. It’s 12 new songs from harmonica ace JOHN POPPER and band, who plan on a long U.S. tour in support. More good news: Blues Traveler recorded their July 4 performance at Red Rocks in Colorado for release later this year on DVD and video.


FLEETWOOD MAC has added an Atlanta date to the second leg of their “Say You Will” tour. The foursome visits Atlanta’s Gwinnett Center Sept. 7 and reviews of the tour have been solid. STEVIE looks and sounds great and LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM’s guitar virtuosity is as good as rock guitar gets. There’s still no CHRISTINE MCVIE, but with the group’s amazing body of work there’s plenty of hits for everyone. It also helps that their new album is the best thing they’ve done since “Rumours.” The fat cats in Washington have designated 2003 the “Year of the Blues” and, no, they’re not referring to the economy. Look for some sharp reissues this month featuring some of the best and most influential blues performers in history. New packages featuring the best from BB KING, ELMORE JAMES, MA RAINEY, JOHN LEE HOOKER, SKIP JAMES, LIGHTNIN’ HOPKINS, SON HOUSE, FRED MCDOWELL and the REVEREND GARY DAVIS will be in stores throughout the month of August. Turner’s Quick Notes Over 400,000 people enjoyed THE ROLLING STONES, RUSH, THE GUESS WHO and AC/DC July 30 at Toronto’s SARS benefit. It’s the biggest crowd the Stones have ever entertained … The original JOE JACKSON BAND is set for an August 15 show at Atlanta’s Roxy Theater … You can purchase any or all of the 26 shows from the current version of THE DEAD at the band’s Web site … The five original members of DURAN DURAN made their first appearance in over 17 years last week. A tour and album are in the works. Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. This DAVID BOWIE hit was co-written by JOHN LENNON. Q. What is “Fame?”(Lennon also plays and sings on the track.)



Shannon’s Live Entertainment Friday, 8/8 - Bamboo Sunday, 8/10 Keith Gregory Band “Fossil” Wednesday, 8/13 Bart Bell & Shelly Watkins

Food & Drink Specials Nightly

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45 M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3


LIVE MUSIC EVERY SUNDAY NEVER A COVER! 8/10 - john kolbeck 8/17 - michael & jason 8/24 - brandon bower 8/31 - john kolbeck FIRST FRIDAY 9/5 MICHAEL & JASON

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46 M E T R O S P I R I T

Bring your friends to our inaugural

Buffett Night We’re turning our pool into a tropical Buffett Bash!


Sat, August 16th • 6pm


Buffett Band by the pool Bring your swimsuit & take a plunge!

2 0 0 3

Wear your favorite Hawaiian Shirt & receive a free tequila shot!

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MUSIC MINIS Mick’s Sick, Stones Don’t Roll The human body is just not cooperating with The Rolling Stones on this tour. First they had to cancel dates in the East because of SARS. Now illness has infiltrated the band itself. The bad boy of rock ‘n’ roll has gotten himself a case of laryngitis. It was going to be their final fling in Spain, at a resort on the coast. They are rescheduling, however, for Sept. 19. Alleged Eminem Bully Takes Rapper to Court Slim Shady says an eighth-grader named DeAngelo Bailey did terrible things to the kid who would grow up to become the rapper Eminem when he was in the fourth and sixth grades. The lyrics appear in “Brain Damage” from “The Slim Shady LP,” and allege that, among other things, the older boy broke Mathers’ nose on a urinal and choked

him. Bailey is now a sanitation worker. With a lawyer. They’re supposed to have a face-down in court on Aug. 18. Of course, Bailey’s lawyer says the allegations are a load of BS, but there was, apparently, a 1982 lawsuit against the Roseville school district in which Eminem’s mother claimed little Marshall Mathers was being regularly beaten with some nasty side effects. Vince Neil Accused of Attacks Andrea Terry, who works at a brothel called the Moonlite Bunny Ranch near Carson City, Nev., has accused Mo¨tley Crüe frontman and former hottie Vince Neil of grabbing her throat and throwing her against the wall, which apparently was not in her contract. Last year, he was accused of punching record producer Michael Schuman in the face and knocking him down. He could get six months in jail.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES AND LISA JORDAN Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

Friday, August 15

Friday 8/8

NEW DAY Saturday 8/9

Blues Legend,

Tinsley Ellis live at


Thursday Wednesday



THE LIGHTHOUSE 2911 Washington Road ❘ Next to Jumbo Sports ❘ 736-9334

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Night Life

M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7 2 0 0 3

The Big Mighty will be at the Red Lion Pub Aug. 8-9.

Thursday, 7th

Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Meditate on This! The Big Easy - Buzz Clif ford, George Sykes Blind Pig - Open Mic Night with Randy Carver Jr. Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Par ty with DJ Joe Steel Coliseum - Karaoke with Travis, Hi-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Cotton Patch - Forest and Jef f Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Homemade Bikini Contest Registration Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - SKYNN with DJ Richie Rich

Hope for a Golden Summer comes to the Soul Bar Aug. 7.

Playground - Open Mic Night Red Lion - Paul Arrowood Soul Bar - Shaun Piazza, Hope for a Golden Summer Stillwater Tap Room - Sibin Stool Pigeons - Brandon Bender and Friends Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard Time Piecez - DJ Dance Par ty

Friday, 8th

Adams Nightclub - DJ Andy’s - Donnie McCormick, Eddie Tigner’s Happy 77th Bir thday Bash Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Projections and Selections: Audio/Visual DJ The Big Easy - Air Apparent Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips featuring “Pops” Williams Borders - Paul Gordon Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Argos Angels Cabaret with Diane Chanel, Petite DeJonville, Dixie Divine, DJ Joe

Steel Coconuts - Augusta’s Hot test Mom Contest Coliseum - Petite DeJonville Cotton Patch - Patrick Blanchard Band Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Jemani, Mud Wrestling D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Roger Enevoldsen Greene Streets - Karaoke Highlander - Heavy Dose Jeremy’s Nightclub - Cycle Joe’s Underground - Sabo and the Scorchers The Lighthouse - New Day Marlboro Station - Lauren Alexander Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Kenny Ray Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Jazz Soulstice with Anthony Carpenter Red Lion - The Big Mighty Rio Bomba - Karaoke with Mr. Russ Rumors - DJ Doug Romanella, Wet T-Shir t Contest

The Shack - DJ Chip Shannon’s - Bamboo Soul Bar - ‘80s Night: Just Like Heaven Surrey Tavern - Cagle’s Choice

Saturday, 9th

Adams Nightclub - DJ Andy’s - Donnie McCormick Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Sessions with Moniker The Big Easy - Buzz Clif ford, George Sykes Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders - Jeremy Carr Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Pageant Benefit for Petite DeJonville, DJ Joe Steel Coconuts - Dance with DJ Stump Coliseum - Beat the Clock with Sasha Cotton Patch - Westobou Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band

continued on page 48




i o CAGLE’S CHOICE Friday & Saturday

Surrey Tavern

Tuesday Night Jam Session






471 Highland Ave. | 736-1221 | Open Mon-Fri at 4 pm until & Sat 6pm until



M E T R O S P I R I T A U G 7

Avett Brothers - Stillwater Tap Room - Aug. 14 Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation Benefit - Club Argos - Aug. 15 Jimmy Buffet Beach Party - Last Call - Aug. 15 Male Revue - Coliseum - Aug. 15 Thee Fine Lines, Flat Stanley, Estrela Hangnail Gallery - Aug. 15 Sugarland - Soul Bar - Aug. 16 Buffett Night - Adams Nightclub - Aug. 16 The Fort Gordon Freedom Jam - Bar ton Field, For t Gordon - Aug. 16 Bio Ritmo - Modjeska - Aug. 16 Real Time Travelers - Stillwater Tap Room - Aug. 16 DJ Calvin Johnson - Soul Bar - Aug. 22 ph Balance - Soul Bar - Aug. 23 Seether - Crossroads - Aug. 25 The Gibson Brothers - Stillwater Tap Room Aug. 26 Chris Duarte - Blind Pig - Aug. 29 Hobex - Soul Bar - Aug. 30 doubleDrive, Minus Driver - Crossroads - Sept. 5





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7 9 14







AV E T T B R O S .

COMING SOON: August 16 REEL TIME TRAVELERS August 26 GIBSON BROTHERS “This is the pure stuff, the way bluegrass sounds best.” - Music Row Magazine

974 Broad Street 826-9857 (Next to Nacho Mama’s) Open Tues-Sat 4pm-until

Andy’s hosts Donnie McCormick Friday and Saturday. continued from page 47 Crossroads - Knowface, Lea D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Roger Enevoldsen Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Cycle Joe’s Underground - Black-Eyed Susan Last Call - New Day The Lighthouse - Tony Howard Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - The White Par ty with DJ Ted For tenberry Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars Red Lion - The Big Mighty Rumors - DJ Doug Romanella, Sexy Legs Contest The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Soul Bar - Silver Dash Music Stillwater Tap Room - Dark Corner Surrey Tavern - Cagle’s Choice

Sunday, 10th

Adams Nightclub - DJ Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - Wayne Capps Marlboro Station - Claire Storm Mellow Mushroom - Deathstar Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennet t Pizza Joint - John Kolbeck The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha’s Cabaret Shannon’s - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Somewhere in Augusta - Jayson and Michael

Monday, 11th Coliseum - Q.A.F.

Continuum - Monday Madness Crossroads - Club Sin with DJ Mykie G Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Mike B., Little Brian’s Birthday Michael’s - Mike Swif t Surrey Tavern - John Kolbeck

Tuesday, 12th

Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - 12*Tone Lounge Blind Pig - Sabo and the Scorchers Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Mike Swif t Stool Pigeons - Karaoke Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session

Wednesday, 13th

Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Heliocentric Cinema Blind Pig - Acoustic Sounds with David Bryan and Mark Jones Club Argos - DJ Joe Steel Coliseum - Wet ‘n’ Wild Talent Search Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Michael’s - Mike Swif t Playground - Karaoke The Pourhouse - Edmond P. “The Lurch” Kida Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Shelly Watkins Somewhere in Augusta - John Kolbeck Soul Bar - Live Jazz Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard

Eels - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Aug. 7 The B-52s - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 7 The Legendary Shack Shakers, James Mathus & His Knockdown Society - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Aug. 7 Liz Phair, Hootie and the Blowfish, Tonic, The Clarks, Bain Mattox - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - Aug. 8 Three Dog Night - Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Ga. - Aug. 8 The Headhunters - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Aug. 9 Flashback Festival - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 9 Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Atlanta - Aug. 13 The New Amsterdams, Jesse Malin - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Aug. 13 George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic, North Mississippi All-Stars, Kevn Kinney Band - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - Aug. 15 Atlanta Symphony Orchestra - Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, Ga. - Aug. 15 Joe Jackson Band - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta Aug. 15 Bebo Norman - Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, Ga. - Aug. 16 k.d. lang - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta Aug. 17 Saw Doctors - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Aug. 19 Huey Lewis and The News, Billy Bob Thornton - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 19 Gin Blossoms - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Aug. 20 Carolyn Dawn Johnson - Wills Park Equestrian Center, Alpharet ta, Ga. - Aug. 21 Goo Goo Dolls, Pat McGee Band, Marc Broussard - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta Aug. 22 311 - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 2 Indigo Girls - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Aug. 23 Don McLean - Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, Ga. - Aug. 23 Blue Man Group, Tracey Bonham - Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta - Aug. 23 Jump Little Children, Bain Mattox - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Aug. 23 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to or

metro a coffeehouse

Espressos & Cocktails

49 mon 11th

thurs 7th “Metro Orientation” - Welcome Back MCG! $1 Bud Light Draught - $2 Purple Hooters $4 Irish Car Bombs

fri 8th

Cocktail Hour Nightly 5-8 pm 1054 broad • downtown (on corner of 11th & Broad) 706-722-6468

$1 PBR/Miller Highlife $5 Red Bull/Vodka Pints - All Night

tues 12th

Ladies Late Night Drink Specials for the ladies 12 til 2 $2 Well Drinks - $5 Cosmopolitans

Irish Eyes are Smiling (8-10 pm) Live Irish Music w/ Sibin $2.50 Guinness & Harp/Irish Drink Specials

wed 13th

sat 9th Bluegrass in the afternoon w/ Eryn Eubanks & the Fold 2-5pm $5 Bacardi Rumtinis all night

White Party Saturday, August 9

Dress Code is fashionably casual to absolutely glamorous, must wear white to attend. Doors open at 9pm Ladies in free until 11pm

Introducing one of Atlanta’s hottest dance club DJs … Ted Fortenberry


the third Saturday of every month Live entertainment by

Bio Ritmo starting at 10pm

“Bio Ritmo clicks all the right cowbells, blows all the right horns, to make salsa with all the heat of a habanera.” -New City Chicago

Arrive early for complimentary champagne cocktails & heavenly desserts RSVP for reserved seating and VIP bottle service

Free Salsa lessons every Saturday by A & E Dance Studio. Salsa dance competition to be held at this event. Winners will receive a prize and advance to the finals held November, where a grand prize will be awarded. Doors open @ 9pm Stylish night attire required Come early - Stay Late

706.303.9700 • 813 broad •


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a latin musical explosion

Celebrate the Summer in White



$2.50 Jagermeister Shots $3.50 Jager Bombs



50 M E T R O





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Wednesday - Women Thursday - Men 1st 12 weeks - Country & Western 2nd 12 weeks - Rock/Pop/ Rhythm & Blues/Soul

Be the one to go with us to Laughlin, NV for the Karaoke Finals. National Grand Prize Winner receives $3,500 cash, plus gifts & possible recording contract.

Greene Streets Karaoke Bar

Corner of Greene & 11th Street • 823-2002 Mon-Fri 3pm-3am • Sat 6pm-2am

of the

Weird T

oning up one’s body is apparently a need that unites diverse soldiers in America’s so-called culture war. In July, USA Today profiled the Lord’s Gym in the West Palm Beach suburb of Greenacres, catering to devout Christians (sales pitch: “Your body is a temple for Christ”), where mothers say they can bring their teenage daughters without men ogling them. But in April, Reuters profiled a “Slavercise” class in New York City, where dominatrix “Mistress Victoria” led her clients through punishing fitness and weight-loss routines while wielding an intimidating riding crop. • You Break It, You Bought It: Australia’s High Court ruled 4-3 in July that because Dr. Stephen Cattanach’s sterilization surgery on Ms. Kerry Melchior had failed, it was Cattanach’s (and the Queensland Health Department’s) responsibility to pay the cost of raising the Melchiors’ unwanted child until age 18. The decision stunned the medical profession and insurers in Australia, especially because Cattanach had relied on Melchior’s inaccurate statement that her right fallopian tube had been removed at age 15 (and so performed surgery only on the left tube). Leading Economic Indicators • The Salon Mexico restaurant in New York City introduced a $45 burrito in July, with a filling of filet mignon and truffles. And the founder of Paul Mitchell salon products recently launched John Paul Pets (shampoos for dogs), joining Estee Lauder’s Origins line in the so-far-uncrowded upscale pet hair-care field. And a June runway show at Mitsukoshi Department Store in Tokyo featured eight dogs modeling fashions such as a yellow dog raincoat (U. S. $72) and a wedding dress and matching hat. • At a New York legislative committee hearing in May, a Manhattan building owner revealed that he had hired as a lobbyist former U.S. Sen. Alfonse d’Amato to make a single telephone call to the chairman of the Metropolitan Transit Authority regarding a real-estate issue that eventually was decided in the owner’s favor and for which he paid d’Amato $500,000.

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People with Issues • Until May, Darlene Heatherington, 40, was a well-regarded, high-achieving city councilwoman in Lethbridge, Alberta, but then she traveled to Great Falls, Mont., on city business, during which trip an incident occurred. In several shifting public statements since then, Heatherington said she was drugged, kidnapped to Las Vegas and raped. However, police in Las Vegas, Great Falls and Lethbridge have contradicted her accounts, and (in Great Falls and Lethbridge) have charged her with filing false reports. Still, she has stuck to her story (baffling most people in Lethbridge) and

denies any emotional problems (“I’m a long way from nuts,” she said). (A National Post columnist wrote in June that, most likely, she had a consensual tryst and was then tormented by her own super-straight image.) Least Competent Criminals • Brian Kline, 10, playing with his father’s old handcuffs (Dad used to be a security agent) on Father’s Day, lovingly cuffed himself to dad William Kline Jr., 33, but the key was lost, and William called police (in Des Moines, Iowa) to get the cuffs off. As is routine, police ran Kline through their database, found two arrest warrants outstanding, and re-cuffed Kline for real. And in Tulsa, Okla., in July, suspected shoplifter Jacob Wise, 18, had cleverly removed security tags from clothes he was allegedly walking out of a store with, but the alarm went off anyway because he had merely put the removed tags in his pocket. Awesome! • In July, at an isolated hospital in Peru’s Andes mountains, Dr. Cesar Venero realized that patient Centeno Quispe could not be airlifted to a full-service hospital in time to save his life from a brain injury incurred during a street fight. Luckily, the hardware store in the town of Andahuaylas was open, and with a drill and pliers, Venero (who earns the equivalent of about U.S. $5,000 a year) saved Quispe’s life by making the necessary holes in the skull to remove the clots that were putting pressure on the brain. Weird Labor News • According to Norway’s Newspaper VG (which is currently running a series on odd summer jobs), teenager Svein Tore Hauge’s job may take the prize: Armed with a shovel and a container, he works at Saerheim Plant Research, following cattle around and catching their excreta before it can hit the ground. Because the work-product is used for scientific study, it must be “pristine,” free of grass, dirt, foreign bacteria, etc. Sometimes it’s easy, he said, but, “Sometimes it just sprays in all directions.” • A labor tribunal in Denmark concluded in May that the rule about not drinking alcoholic beverages on the job, issued by management of MJ Mason Co. (Broenderslev, Denmark), was illegal and could not be enforced. The Mason owner had issued a no-drinking rule, but since he did not follow the procedure in the union contract, it was declared void, at least as to employees’ break times. Updates • In the latest news from Philadelphia’s Monell Chemical Senses Center, a researcher said in June that his study had found that men’s underarm odor has a stress-reducing effect on women. The week before that, The Wall Street Journal, profiling the Gillette Co.’s research lab, reported that lab director Ahmet Baydar is working not just on ordinary antibacterial-plus-fragrance products, but on a substance that actually blocks odor receptors in other people’s noses. (Gillette’s tests use a synthetic malodor compound so strong that more than a few molecules can make a room uninhabitable, and involve five odor judges who sniff actual armpits and rate them 1 to 10, with 10 meaning “your head snaps back.”) — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Fifty years ago prophets believed we’d all be working no more than 32 hours a week by now. Some predicted we’d have as many as 220 days off a year, devoting just 145 to earning our daily bread. What went wrong? Most of us are putting in more hard labor than our grandparents did. But if you want to be faithful to current astrological mandates, Aries, you will spend the next few weeks doing everything you can to bring your life into closer alignment with the old prophecy. The naked fact of the matter is that you need more playtime.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“You may enjoy this movie if you shut down enough brain cells. I turned off all except the ones needed to remember where I parked my car.” This observation comes from a critic’s evaluation of the first “Charlie’s Angels” film, but I’ve read similar comments in many other reviews. Indeed, it’s an approach that many intelligent people employ routinely in response to all the loud, shiny garbage our culture foists on us. What about you, Taurus? Do you assume you have to make yourself dumber in order to have fun? Has the blaring inanity of the world caused you to shut down your smart sensitivity? If so, work hard to reverse this trend in the coming week. You’ll receive help from unexpected sources if you do.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

You and I and everyone else in the world talk to ourselves constantly. The conversation is mostly silent and covert, however. As a result, we get away with abusing ourselves; we assail ourselves with mean thoughts that we’d be far less likely to fling if we actually spoke them aloud. The astrological omens suggest that now is a perfect time for you to break this bad habit. In fact, I’m going to officially declare that it’s Speak More Kindly to Yourself Week. For best results, shun the usual telepathic communion with yourself. Instead, say every word

aloud as you carry on your dialogues. (P.S. You may want to consult the book “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself,” by Shad Helmstetter.)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“Dear Rob: In a recent column, I think you mentioned a book that dealt with making everyday tasks more spiritual. I’m gung-ho to do exactly that: give thanks before I eat, wake up laughing, bless the ground I walk on, notice with joyful appreciation the divine bounty that overflows in ordinary moments. Can you direct me to the book in question? — Grateful Crab” Dear Grateful: You must have dreamed it. Not since I touted Thomas Moore’s “Care of the Soul” in 2000 have I made reference to any such a book. To tell you the truth, though, you don’t need authorities to guide you right now. Your intuition will lead you unerringly in your quest to find sacred mojo in the smallest details.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

I advise you to avoid ingesting rocket fuel in the coming days. That means you should be careful about eating lettuce grown in Southern California. Much of it contains high levels of perchlorate, a main ingredient of rocket fuel. (The Environmental Working Group says it’s because defense contractor Lockheed Martin has been dumping the stuff in the Colorado River.) In any case, Leo, you won’t even need metaphorical rocket fuel. Cosmic forces are conspiring to boost your physical energy and mental agility to record levels.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Mata Amritanandamayi is one of India’s most beloved gurus. Also known as Amma, she preaches no doctrine but believes all religions lead to the same goal. Her renown has grown largely through the power and quantity of her embraces. She travels from city to city doling out hugs, often more than a thousand a day. Since she launched her mission as a young girl, she claims to have hugged 21 million people. Amma is your role model for the coming

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

Note: A certain letter of the alphabet appears in this puzzle exactly 21 times. When you have finished solving, find and connect these letters to get an appropriate design. ACROSS 1 Smelling salts container 5 Mooch 8 Learn in passing 14 Weaving together 16 Add 17 1955 musical version of “Cinderella” 19 Cowpunch’s moniker 20 Tree whose winged seeds look like tiny canoe paddles 21 It’s an honor 22 Northern Indians 24 Low ___ 26 More cunning 29 Grandkids, to grandparents

30 Philosophical 57 Resulted (from) 32 Carlo who wrote 59 Superhuman

“Christ Stopped at Eboli” 33 Roadside sign 35 Not very engaging 37 Side dish, for short 38 One who delivers papers 42 How Miss Piggy refers to herself 43 Delicacy at a state dinner? 44 Urchin’s home 45 Frequently 47 Hideaway 49 Old West gunman Jack 53 Los ___ 55 Fragrant ring 56 Brad Pitt thriller















ability 61 Cockpit abbr. 62 Mission of a sort 66 Morning music 67 Wordsworth, for one 68 Casserole crust 69 Private 70 Hammock holder

accuracy 2 Be essential (to) 3 Greek princess 4 Time difference 5 Judge’s no-no 6 Never expressed, as tears 7 Some British imports 8 Portraitist Frans 9 Long stories 10 Revolt 11 Stay on death row 12 Start of a longdistance call 13 N.Y.C. artery, with “the” 15 Person of grace and dignity 18 Prompts grave thoughts in 23 As a result

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

George Washington was afflicted with smallpox, malaria, pleurisy, consumption, amoebic dysentery, rotten teeth and Kleinfelter’s syndrome. That didn’t stop him from accomplishing feats that earned him a place in the history books. I suggest you make him your patron saint in the coming weeks, Libra. Draw inspiration from his heroic ability to overcome personal discomfort. You’re in a prime position to render months of suffering irrelevant with a decisive triumph.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In 1914, the science magazine “Nature” found that 30 percent of the world’s top scientists believed in God. In a second survey in 1934, the number dropped to 15 percent and by 1998 it was seven percent. From these data, we can speculate that it’s getting harder for smart intellectuals to commune with the Divine Wow the way we smart mystics do. That’s a shame. Luckily for you, though, Scorpio, you’re now in an unusual phase in which there’s no contradiction between cultivating both rigorous critical thinking and an intimate relationship with the nine-tenths of reality that is hidden from our five senses.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The most venerated object in Islam is the Kaaba, a large cube in a mosque in Mecca. Lodged in a corner of the Kaaba is its most sacred part, a black stone surrounded by an oval silver structure. Muslims kiss it at the climax of their pilgrimage to Mecca. Astrologer Caroline Casey points out that this holy of holies has the shape of a vulva, and suggests that it reveals Islam’s unconscious yearning for the Goddess. That’s ironic for a male-dominated religion, which, like Judaism and Christianity, has suppressed the feminine aspects of the divine. I offer this vignette as a starting point for this week’s meditations, Sagittarius. What feminine aspects of the divine do you unconsciously long for and need? How can you bring more of their influence into your life?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Frank O’Hara’s poem “Meditations in a Emergency” is mostly a meandering, self- indulgent mess, but it

y 1

















contains three lines that should inspire you for weeks. I suggest you regard them as pithy teachings. Here they are. 1. “Each time my heart is broken it makes me feel more adventurous.” 2. “I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love.” 3. “It is easy to be beautiful; it is difficult to appear so.” By the way, Capricorn, O’Hara’s poem is a microcosm of your immediate future, when small but valuable treasures will be embedded in heaps of useless nonsense.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Last year Nigerian women launched a new form of protest against the U.S.-owned oil company that wreaked environmental havoc in their country: They threatened to get naked in public. During the invasion of Iraq, several groups of American women, inspired by the Nigerians, registered their dissent through mass nudity. More recently, Mexican farmers stripped to their underpants during a demonstration against their government’s policies. From an astrological perspective, it’s a perfect time for you Aquarians to further develop this new tradition. Take off your clothes to those you oppose! Or if that’s too extreme, try the metaphorical equivalent: Disarm your adversaries not by attacking them but by expressing your vulnerability.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Every Thursday night I roll my trashcan to the curb so that the sanitation engineers can pick it up next morning. Usually it’s three-quarters full of garbage bags and requires no special treatment. But on some weeks I generate more than my normal share of refuse. To fit it in, I have to become a human trash compactor. I grab a low-slung branch from the persimmon tree, pull myself up, and lower myself down inside the trashcan, jumping up and down to compress the load and make room for more. I hope I can serve as an inspiration for you this week, Pisces. By my astrological reckoning, you should gather, compress and throw away at least six months’ worth of outworn junk, including both the psychic and physical varieties. — © Rob Brezsny You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope


$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 •



18 20

19 22







29 33 38



31 35




44 47





54 57





64 67





Puzzle by Patrick Berry

monster 27 By any chance 28 Set up 31 They have wedges 34 It makes an impression 36 More fancy 38 Knit shirt




25 Fairy-tale

37 41










1 Checked for

week, Virgo. The astrological omens suggest you’ll be most likely to thrive if you suspend all your spiritual theories and ideological opinions and become a pure channel for unconditional love. Try to hug at least 20 people. For extra credit, do 40.

6/26/03 (No. 0626)

39 City in central

Ecuador 40 Balance 41 Sheltered spot 42 Bad start? 46 Clawed 48 Carpentry tool 50 Embodiment of a god 51 Computer key

52 Main order 54 Old Italian

coppers Grasped Stay away from She-demon Lord’s Prayer beginning 64 ___-pitch 65 Replayed shot 58 60 62 63

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, ($34.95 a year). Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network,

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very woman I know complains about fighting with her boy friend. The battles range from irritated bickering to terrible screaming matches. I’m worried because my boy friend and I have been together a year, and we’ve never had an argument, big or small. In fact, we seem to be the happy couple other couples hate because our relationship seems so perfect. Does being really happy 99 percent of the time mean we aren’t dealing with issues we should be? — Too Good for Our Own Good?

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A lot of women in relationships hear that “love is a two-way street” so they run out in the middle of the night and put up signs on both sides of the street that read “my way.” No, women aren’t to blame for all the misery — just more than their fair share of it. According to my mountain of mail, the single biggest relationship wrecker is women who think men will double as falsies for their flat self-esteem. Instead of flailing about in hopes of get ting a life, then get ting someone to share it with, these women simply get a guy who’s already got a life, then at tach themselves to it like a sucker fish on a whale. This saves all their unused personal grow th hours to be funneled into more gratifying pursuits, such as combing the mall for deeply discounted shoes and telling the guy why he can’t go drink beer and make man noises at the spor ts bar. Ah, love. Well, at least that’s what these women call it — probably because “love” goes over bet ter than “I’m the queen and he’s the peasant who must bend to my will.” Men are simple creatures. Give the average guy a hamburger, a naked girlfriend and a wide-screen TV, and he’s happy. Throw in a Universal Remote, unfet tered access to his friends and time alone to use, fix or stare at mechanical objects, and he’s delirious with joy. Sounds pret t y simple, huh — find a good guy, let him be and he’ll probably be good right back? But no, even blissed-out girls like you can’t leave well enough alone: “Why am I so happy? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with us? Do you think we’re too per fect?!” Not to worry — it’s easy to be miserable like everybody else. Just throw your sense of self of f a ledge, then turn your relation-

ship into an endless list of demands because you feel powerless unless you’re “winning” a giant power struggle. Keep your boy friend on his toes by telling him you love him, then treating him with the contempt you’d normally reser ve for a fleeing pursesnatcher. Demand total honesty, then torch the paint of f him when he tells you so much as the date or the time. In no time, you’ll both be storming around the house hear tily despising each other. By then, he’ll have learned the secret saying of all beaten-down men: “What she doesn’t know won’t hur t me.” If this seems like too much work, bringing unconditional loathe into your life, just keep doing what you’re doing — probably acting like a rational human being (rare among women, according to men) and using your powers of obser vation for the greater good. For example, take a look at your boy friend’s business card. Unless it says “Minds Read, $5 a Lobe,” he probably can’t guess what you’re thinking. Should it happen to be something negative (“Do you know how stupid you look in those plaid shor ts?”), remind yourself that men and harsh micromanagement don’t mix, and motivate with The Power of Positive Ego Massage; i.e., “I can’t help but jump you when you wear your black pants.” If you’ve picked a guy with half a brain, he’ll get that you really, really want him to remove (and burn) the plaid shor ts, and he’ll love you for let ting him know without eviscerating his dignit y. Contrary to the “wisdom” found on selfhelp shelves, a happy man isn’t one with a “yes, dear”-ing wife-a-tron, but one who’s smar t enough to hook up with a woman who’s happy alone (but happier with him). These people find happiness in making each other happy. This doesn’t take the soul of a saint. In fact, you might talk to the rest of the world as if it had just dropped a giant dresser on your toe. You simply make a pact with yourself to never say a cruel word to the one you’re with. Remember “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble”? Think “The Relationship in the Plastic Bubble.” Like “The Boy,” you’ll have visitors bringing news from beyond the zip-lock; for example, what’s wrong with your boy friend’s friends according to their girlfriends (every thing, including how they breathe). This should be enough to remind your boy friend how lucky he is to be encased in plastic with you — a woman who stays up nights worrying that she’s much too happy. — © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon

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To respond to ads using a A LOT TO OFFER SWPF, 39, 5’2”, 155lbs, loves, sports, dining out, cooking, movies, walks in the park, playing pool, travel, dining out. Seeking young man, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. ☎321666 ENVELOPING EMBRACE Kind-hearted SBCF, 52, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, attending church. Seeking loving SBCM, 52-65, with similar interests. ☎287845 FIRST TIME AD! Employed SBF, 35, no children, wants to meet a laid-back, spontaneous man, 33-41, race unimportant, to get to know as a friend and maybe progress to more! ☎280007 BE MY FRIEND Attractive SWF, 29, 5’7”, 129lbs, brown/brown, N/S, no kids, never married, seeks SWM, 2037, in shape, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎945103 GOOD GIRL Attractive SWF, 38, 5’4”, 145lbs, blonde/hazel, N/S, Pisces, enjoys outdoors. Seeking tall SWM, 30-42. ☎864247 AN AUTUMN SPECIAL Hard-working WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs, blonde/ brown, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. Seeking WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. ☎965904 GOOD-HEARTED DWF, 61, 5’9”, honest, neat in appearance, with a good sense of humor. Seeking WM, 6070, who’s honest and caring. ☎574264 WIDOWED SENIOR WF, honest, neat appearance, good sense of humor, seeking WM, 55-75, honest, caring. ☎449726 LEO SBF, 31, wants to share quality time with a man who loves movies, dining out, quiet times, for friendship. ☎202217 A GOOD-HEARTED WOMAN Honest SWF, 5’4”, long dark brown/hazel, would like to meet a trustworthy SWM for a good, honest, open relationship. I smoker, so another smoker is preferred. Grovetown. ☎111411 Men Seeking Women

DELICATE HANDLING DWM, 27, 5’4”, Libra, N/S, does glass work, non-custodial dad, seeks a serious WF, 20-35, N/S, to settle down with. ☎589673

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Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 MUTUAL RESPECT SWM, 28, 5’, brown/blue, Sagittarius, N/S, loves line dancing, shooting pool, and long walks. Seeking WF, 18-35, N/S, good-natured and good-hearted. ☎583044 FLEXIBLE AS A RUBBER HOSE DWM, 56, Leo, smoker, enjoys traveling, and partaking of the area restaurants seeks WF, 45-55, with an agreeable disposition. ☎583222 EASYGOING ALL-AROUND SBPM, 6’2”, 196lbs, educated, very secure, Leo, N/S, loves romantic moments, live music, and family time. Seeking BF, 28-42, N/S. ☎583499 EVERYDAY MAN SBM, 19, 5’7”, very outspoken, very outgoing, all ears, Capricorn, N/S, seeks BF, 18-28, N/S, for movies and mall shopping. ☎585897 COUNTRY DAD Male, 39, 6’, 205lbs, sandy brown hair, with 2 children, Gemini, seeks and outgoing country woman, 28-45. ☎578137 SUMMER FUN SWM, 60, self-employed, enjoys casinos, reading, travel, sports. Seeking SWF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. Serious inquiries only. ☎556936 NEW TO AREA SBM, 30, 5’7”, medium build, caramel skin, Gemini, smoker, works in health care field. Seeking BF, 25-35, sure of herself. ☎568136 FUN AND ROMANTIC DWM, 36, 6’1”, Gemini, N/S, likes talking, movies, exercising, and traveling. Seeking woman, 21-45, N/S, in shape, for romance. ☎573045 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎557954

SUN AND FUN SWM, 43, 5’7”, 160lbs, medium build, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, dancing. Seeking SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎558039 NEW TO AREA SBM, 5’3”, 185lbs, enjoys travel, working out, sports, music, reading. Seeking attractive, outgoing SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎559583 ARE YOU THE ONE? SBM, 34, 5’10”, 170lbs, enjoys bowling, movies, travel, dining out, reading. Seeking positive, active woman to enjoy life with. ☎561078 HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6’3”, 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎556440 OUTDOORSMAN SWM, 19, Capricorn, N/S, landscape architect, likes sporting events, movies, fishing, hunting, anything outdoors, seeks SWF, 1825, N/S, similar interests, who is outgoing, likes to have fun. ☎541345 SOMETHING TO ADD? SBM, 42, Gemini, N/S, 6’, enjoys going out, romance, seeks SWF, 25-40, N/S, who will have something to add to a relationship. ☎546480 READ ON SWM, 29, Pisces, N/S, 6’3”, 235lbs, athletic, likes the outdoors, playing sports, watching sports, going out to eat, watching movies. Seeks SWF, 23-35, N/S, for dating. ☎549310 HERE I AM SBM, 32, 6’9”, glasses, Aries, smoker, loves singing, drawing, and dining out. Seeking a woman, 21-56, with whom to connect. ☎430788


YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SBF, 39, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 38-45, down-toearth, very direct and straightforward, to have fun with. ☎582549 OLD-FASHIONED VALUES Honest, relaxed, christian SBF, 56, Aries, N/S, enjoys cooking, dining out, quiet times at home. Seeking marriage-minded, financially secure SBM, 50-56, N/S, for LTR. ☎829149 I’D LIKE TO HEAR... what you have to say. SBF, 18, 5’5”, darkskinned, pretty, Aries, N/S, enjoys shopping, vacations, and movies. Seeking a man, 20-28. ☎578781 JUST BE THERE FOR ME SBF, 23, 5’2”, Pisces, N/S, enjoys traveling. Seeking a romantic WM, 25-31, N/S, for LTR. ☎576613 LEASING W/OPTION TO BUY SBF, 30, fun, outgoing, romantic Pisces, N/S, enjoys song writing, music, traveling, and conversation. Seeking man, 30-50, for friendship and more. ☎567142 RAINY DAYS AND COOKING... are a few of my delights. DBF, 38, 5’5”, 125lbs, pecan tan complexion, laid-back, down-toearth, Aquarius, smoker, N/D, seeks BM, 3045. ☎569952 LOOKING FOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, attractive, compassionate, easygoing, desires SWM, 24-34, honest, open-minded for friendship and companionship. ☎323553 STILL SEARCHING SWF, 47, 5’8”, 148lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, interests vary, seeks SWM, 37-48, for LTR. ☎342017 TABLE FOR TWO SWF, 57, 5’4”, blond/green, easygoing, outgoing, enjoys cooking, fishing, reading, NASCAR. Seeking honest, respectful S/DWM, 57-65. ☎965851 MAKE YOUR OWN DESTINY Loving, intelligent SBF, 34, seeks SBM, 35-45, for companionship, long walks, movies, dining out and more. ☎550597 TAKE ME DANCING SWF, 25, 5’9”, blonde/brown, Gemini, N/S, seeks WM, 30-38, N/S, who likes kids. For dating. ☎385501 SEEKING DECENT MAN SBCF, 32, Cancer, N/S, CNA, likes having fun, going to the movies, eating out, fishing, looking for decent man, 25-45, N/S, who is hardworking and will treat her with respect. ☎544912 SINGLE MOM SEEKING SBF, 20, Gemini, N/S, mother of twins, likes going to the park, spending time with family, going to the mall, movies, seeks compatible SBM, 18-35, N/S. ☎532672 GREAT PERSONALITY SWF, 45, 5’2”, blonde/blue, likes cooking, bowling, movies, travel. Seeking affectionate, caring, compassionate SM, N/S, financially secure, for dating, possible LTR. ☎525164 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? SWF, 48, Cancer, N/S, seeks WM, 40-56, who wants to have a great relationship. Why not give me a call? You never know. ☎511453 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. ☎463610 BEACH BUM SBF, 31, with bachelor’s degree in communications, Taurus, N/S, loves dining out, movies, working out, and reading. Seeking man, 2636. ☎869451

COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 48, enjoys antiquing, travel, dining out, movies and more. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. ☎732056 BIG HEART, BIG BRAIN? Creative, expressive SF, 41, graphic artist, loves the country, with passion for gardening, nature, flora/fauna, needlework( knitting, crochet, quilting). Seeking creative, spiritual man, to share hopes, dreams, desires. ☎483300 MAYBE YOU’RE THE 1 SBF, 30, 5’7”, brown complexion, auburn/ brown, thick, seeks independent, loving SM, who’s fun, active, commitment-minded, a handyman type, to share romance, fun, friendship and a possible lasting relationship. ☎488232 ARIES/TAURUS DWCF, 52, 5’4”, brown/green, likes the beach, playing pool, sailing, flea markets, dining, movies at home, stargazing. Looking for tall, honest, kind, affectionate, Christian man, 3958. Let’s adore each other. ☎479572 ALL I WANT IS YOU SB mom, 28, is in search of a man, 25-45, who would want to start off as friends, leading into more. ☎459939 DON’T PASS ME BY SHF, 18, 5’1”, 126lbs, short/brown, would like to meet a guy for bowling, dancing and romance. ☎463061 LOVES TO LAUGH Attractive SWF, 19, 5’9”, Libra, smoker, seeks WM, 18-35, for a solid, good, honest friendship leading towards LTR. ☎455393 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. ☎456544 OUTGOING WF, 50s, 5’5”, 150lbs, brunette, likes dining out, dancing, cooking, interior decorating, more. Give me a call. ☎443130 NO INTRO NEEDED SBCF, 26, 5’4”, 130lbs, single parent of a 7year-old son, very independent, Gemini, N/S, seeks BM, 27-40, to be my friend. ☎432010 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 3760, for possible LTR. ☎421273 A SPECIAL SOMEONE SBF, 25, mother, seek financially stable, independent man, 20-45, who loves children, for LTR . ☎415803 A SIMPLE GAL SWF, 35, 5’4”, seeks laid back man, 18-40, for casual dating, friendship maybe more. ☎418340 NICE EVENINGS Attractive SBF, 35, enjoys nice evenings, conversation, seeking loving SBM, 30-37, for nice evenings. ☎400597 OUTGOING/OUTDOORS TYPE Tall, full-figured, SF, 5’10, long red hair, green eyes, outgoing, outdoors type, spends allot of time with two children, likes movies and sports. Seeking compatible SM, 24-40. ☎402582 LIGHT UP MY LIFE Beautiful BF, 60, 5’11”, with a brown complexion, N/S, N/D, has lots of love and passion to share with a SBM, who goes to church. ☎383766 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5’2”, independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter. Seeking independent, mature SBM, 48-65, for friendship first. ☎369627 HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER SWF, 57, 5’11”, 130lbs, very trim, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys canoeing, backpacking, nature photography, and hiking. Seeking WM, 52-62, N/S, with similar interests. ☎358288 ATTENTION! Your military date is in Augusta. SF seeks military male, 29-45, with good sense of humor, good values/qualities. No abusers. Race open. Children ok. Will answer all. ☎334255

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To respond to ads using a ONE-IN-A-MILLION SBM, 19, Sagittarius, N/S, 5’9”, braids, gray eyes, medium build, likes to have a good time, seeks compatible woman, 18-30. ☎531369 SEEKING FUN SHF SWM, 26, smoker, 5’11”, 195lbs, former military, security guard, will be joining police academy, likes to hang out, go to bars, have good time. Seeks SHF, 18-32, for fun, dating. ☎534532 SEEKING NATURALIST SM, 50, 5’11”, 163lbs,enjoys travel, fine dining, swimming, the arts. Seeking adventurous, attractive, fit SF, with similar interests, to explore the world with. ☎516833 TAKE ME AS I AM SWM, 31, 5’6”, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, enjoys movies and more. Seeking SWF, 25-35, N/S, N/D, who enjoys good times, dating, for LTR. ☎341418 THANK YOU VERY MUCH SWM, 25, 5’9”, 164lbs, brown/hazel, told he looks like Elvis Presley, Rick Nelson, and one of the Everly Brothers, enjoys fishing, history, art. Seeking WF, 19-26, N/S. ☎508305 NO GAMES HERE SBM, 36, brown/brown, long distance truck driver, Aries, smoker, seeks honest W/HF, 3036, smoker, who likes to travel and is looking for LTR. ☎509226 SEEKS HONESTY SM, 55, 6’, 200lbs, professionally employed, seeks outgoing, fun, sincere lady to share casual times, friendship, fun and maybe something more later on. ☎494413 WELL-ROUNDED SM, 27, loves art, theater, movies, music, long walks, conversation. Desires to meet attractive, cultured, social woman for dating, possibly more. ☎471543 ARE YOU THE ONE? SM, 29, enjoys tennis, movies, dancing, dining out, long walks, antiques, Asian culture. Seeking confident, sweet, good-natured woman for LTR. ☎471619 HARD-WORKING SWCM, 48, enjoys sports, travel, dining out, dancing, reading, movies. Seeking stable, sincere woman, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎474643 NEVER BEEN MARRIED SWM, 40, would like to meet a woman who enjoys simple pleasures such as outdoor fun, music and exercise. ☎463381 WANNA DANCE? SWM, 37, smoker, wants to share outdoor fun (fishing, hunting, camping), with a wonderful woman. ☎464905 SOMETHING SO RIGHT SWM, 46, 5’8”, 195lbs, wants to meet a lady with good moral character, who is looking for a lasting relationship. ☎464950 TRY ME SBM, 31, enjoys sports, movies, park walks, good conversation. Seeking pretty, honest SF, to share these with. ☎448964 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated DBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet female, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. ☎442021 I CAN COOK SWM, 51, 6’1”, 193lbs, with blue eyes and a laid-back attitude, seeks a woman with a spontaneous, creative spirit. ☎434997 TAKE ME ON Male, 34, 5’10”, 180lbs, black/hazel, Capricorn, financially secure, smoker, seeks woman, 27-39, smoker, petite, who loves Nascar and beaches. ☎429058 SAY ‘BYE TO LONELINESS Male, 35, 5’2”, H/W proportionate, attractive, light-skinned, Leo, proportionate, smoker, seeks woman, 18-35, laid-back, committed, and faithful. ☎432003 YOU AND ME SWM, 34, enjoys outdoors, good times, movies, laughter, romance. Seeking loving, caring SWF, 20-50, for LTR. ☎412476

JUST FOR YOU SWM, 29, brown/green, 5’8”, 150lbs, employed, seeks outgoing, active SWF, 21-35, who can appreciate a loving man. ☎416629 COMMITMENT SM, 6’1”, 205lbs, outspoken, outgoing, very loving, looking for SF, who is not afraid of commitment, is loving and caring. ☎406726 LET’S HOOK UP 34-year-old SBM, 5’9”, 180lbs, Aquarius, nurse, bald head, new to area, open-minded, fun-loving, hopeless romantic. Seeking woman who loves to be romanced. ☎849401

ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126 WHAT’S HAPPENING? SWM, 30, 5’7”, 200lbs, brown/blue, Aries, N/S, seeks BM, 19-35, N/S, outgoing, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎958402

SEEKING A RELATIONSHIP GBF, 24, enjoys dancing, sports, movies, music, quiet evenings. seeks goal-oriented GPF, 24-33, who knows what she wants. ☎474251

Women Seeking Women

WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. ☎448489

Men Seeking Men

LET’S GET CRAZY SWM, 35, 6’1”, with green eyes, is in search of a man to get together with, and share good times. ☎384239 LOOKING FOR LOVE GWM, 41, 5’8’, 140lbs, Pisces, enjoys fishing, television, wood working, gardening, arts, crafts. Seeking GWM, 25-45, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎705204 MASCULINE AND FIT SWM, 39, Libra, smoker, 5’8”, brown/brown, masculine, works out, fit, likes movies, riding bikes, camping, cooking, time at home. Seeks SWM, 30-43, with similar interests. ☎545309 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. ☎436231 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. ☎532700 A NEW START Retired, fit, outgoing GWM, 44, enjoys walks, movies, sports, reading. Seeking outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527836 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707 ARE YOU THE ONE? SWM, 34, 6’1”, 195lbs dark blond/blue, goatee, enjoys quiet nights home, going out with friends, travel. Looking for masculine, easygoing SW/HM, 18-38, for casual dates, possible LTR. ☎502698 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. ☎493530 COULD IT BE YOU AND ME? GWM, 24, enjoys quiet evenings, movies, quiet evenings at home, dining out. Seeking fun, outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎471342 BOY NEXT DOOR SAM, 27, 5’9”, 147lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks WM, 25-45, who enjoys fun times and a true friendship. ☎456425 ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. ☎425471 SEEKING THE REAL THING BM, 32, 5’8”, 200lbs, enjoys reading, cooking, dining out, movies, spending quality time at home. Seeking WM, 25-35, who has similar interests, and wants a long-term, monogamous relationship. ☎389698 LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP Senior SWM seeks sincere, honest SWM, 2545, to share home and lifestyle. Many interests including gardening, cooking, arts and crafts, travel, camping. ☎294303

How do you

GIVE ME A TRY GWF, 27, 5’7”, 150lbs, brown/blue, enjoys dancing, movies, travel, conversation. Seeking attractive, warm GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎553580 LOOKING FOR LOVE GBF, 19, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎554721 WAITING FOR YOU GWF, 18, 5’4”, blonde/blue, enjoys music, movies, animals, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, honest GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527575 IS IT YOU? SGF, 42, soft stud, loves movies, cuddling, traveling, plays, comedy. Seeking feminine Christian female, compassionate and understanding, with like interests, to share friendship, good times and maybe something more. ☎487095

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HAVE A GOOD TIME SB mom of two, 35, wishes to spend time, conversations, friendship and life with a great lady. ☎458794

GOAL ORIENTED Intelligent, happy, attractive SBF, 23, student, seeks similar SBF, 24-40, N/S, for all that life has to offer. ☎411842 LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. ☎388943 ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES SBF, 30, 5’5”, with brown eyes, seeks a woman, 30-36, to hang out with, get to know, and see where it goes. ☎380595 OPEN-MINDED CHIC Broken-hearted GWF, 30, Libra, smoker, seeks woman, 20-45, to mend my heart. Let’s not be afraid of who we are. ☎370110 “EVERYONE’S BEST FRIEND” GWF, 26, 5’6”, medium build, likes watching movies, bowling, hanging out, malls, phone conversations. Seeking fun-loving, seriousminded GWF, 22-35, medium build, for friendship and possibly more. ☎335046


BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063 A REFRESHING CHANGE SWF, 30, Libra, smoker, is hoping to find it in a woman, 25-45. Will show a lot of a affection. ☎307177 FALL FEVER SWPF, 46, 5’6”, 129lbs, college graduate, enjoys reading , home movies, camping, country-living, seeks same in SWF, 45-50. ☎965910 LOOKING FOR LOVE SBF, 32, 140lbs, 5’8”, down-to-earth, likes clubs, movies, and quiet times. Looking for a female, 30-35, with the same interests. If you’re the one, call me. Aiken, South Carolina. ☎113533 OUTGOING FUN WF, 28... 5’3”, medium build, loves movies, putt-putt golf, and bowling. Seeking WF, 25-40, medium build, for fun and friendship. Hope to hear from you soon. ☎958847 NO INTRO NEEDED SWF, 39, 5’7”, 145lbs, homeowner, easygoing, selfless, Taurus, smoker, loves movies and bowling. Seeking WF, 35-49, with comparable interests. ☎935299 I WON’T LET YOU DOWN Single GBF, 32, mother, non-smoker, looking to become acquainted with a laid-back, sensual GBF, who enjoys quiet times, movies. Interested? ☎910581




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Classifieds The Shack ... You’ll Be Back


Blue Party w/ Guest DJ No Cover Free Draft Beer


Karaoke Dance Party with DJ Joe Steel.


Argos Angels’ Cabaret with Diane Channel, Petite DeJohnville & Dixie Divine $5 Beer Bust All-U-Can-Drink Draft Beer $10 Drink N Drown All-U-Can Drink Well Liquor


Pageant Benefit for Petite DeJohnville

Monday-Sunday Happy Hour from 4pm-12 midnight $2 Long necks $3 Wells Fri

DJ Chip


DJ Buckwheat


Karaoke 8-12 with DJ Joe

Sasha Sundays Her showcast is not just Drag it’s pure talent. Come let us entertain you. Show starts at 12:30am.

Fri, Aug. 15th Benefit for The Elizabeth Taylor Aids Foundation Argos welcomes Gay, Lesbian, Bi, BDSM, Swingers, TVTS & all openminded patrons

Call us @ 481-8829 or email us at

(803) 441-0053 425 Carolina Springs Rd North Augusta, SC Come have fun where the party doesn’t end!

... You’re Not Partying


Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music

Fri, 8/15 Hot Male Strippers Hollywood Creations

Drink Specials: WED $9 Wet N' Wild FRI & SAT Famous Beer Bust All You Can Drink $9

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m. 1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA


Turn Your “Trash”* Into Cash! Sell your unwanted items or advertise your garage or yard sale in Metro Spirit Classifieds.

Call 738-1142 We accept VISA or Mastercard. *And remember ... one person’s trash is another man’s treasure.

Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol com


Club Argos Presents ...

An Evening to Benefit The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation Friday, August 15th • Showtime 11pm Featuring “the argos angels”and special guests

Tickets: $10 in advance, $15 at the door all proceeds to benefit amfar and the elizabeth taylor aids foundation

For more information call (706) 481-8829 1923 Walton Way, Augusta Ga.

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad!

Begin a New Career In Massage Therapy Train for a rewarding career in Massage Therapy in only 6 months


Augusta School of Massage Inc. 3512 1/2 Wheeler Road • Augusta, GA 30909




Help Wanted 59 People needed to lose weight! All natural, doctor recommended 100% Guaranteed Call for free sample, 706-284-7650 (08/07#8171)



Fri, 8/8 Petite DeJohnville

Request for Qualifications Augusta Neighborhood Improvement Corporation, accepting sealed qualification from vendors for: Construction Manager, experience must be, but not limited to: Pricing Subcontractor Negotiation Quality Control, Timing & Specifications Draws & Compliance with codes Provide documentation demonstrating: Length of time in business Description of firm’s capacity Description of firm’s client base Resume’ for principal representative assigned to our organization Sealed submissions must be received at: Augusta Neighborhood Improvement Corporation 753 Broad Street, Suite 702 Augusta, Georgia 30901 At tn: Rober t A. Cooks, President & CEO No submissions accepted after August 15, 2003 ANIC reserves the right to: be sole judge of all responses and accept or reject any and all submissions. (08/07#8179)

WOLFF TANNING BEDS AFFORDABLE • CONVIENENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color-Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305 (08/07#8131)

Private Investigator R AY WILLIAMSON & ASSOCIATES Private Investigations 17 years experience Domestic Relations and Child Custody Cases Licensed and Bonded in Georgia & Carolina 706-854-9672 or 706-854-9678 fa x (08/07#8183)

Professional Services VIRTUAL SENTRY Watch any location from remote sight over phone line or cell. Record activity with hidden cameras, in smoke detector’s, VCR’s, clock’s toy’s, etc. Call 706-564-5819 for more info. (8/14#8166)

Religion Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454

Resort Rentals Amelia Island, Florida 2 Bedroom 2 bath direct ocean front condo in the hear t of historical Fernandina Beach, Florida. A convenient location without the crowds. 736-7070 -----------560-8980 (08/07#8184)


Mrs. Graham, Psychic Reader, Advises on all affairs of life, such as love, marriage, and business. She tells your past, present and future. Mrs. Graham does palm, tarot card, and crystal readings. She specializes in relationships and reuniting loved ones.

Seeking 2 males to rent rooms in private home. Good neighborhood, many ex tas. $100 wkly, utilites included, call for more information 706-733-0990 (08/14/#8175) Travel

341 S. Belair Rd. Open from 9 a.m. til 9 p.m. Call (706) 733-5851

Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 706-771-9470 or John - 706-868-5598 (08/07#8182) Professional Therapeutic Massage Prevention & Treatment Sciatica, Back, Neck, Hip, Knee, Ankle, Shoulder, Whiplash, Hamstrings, Tennis Elbow, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Repetitive Use Injury Therapy 706-592-9450 Or 399-8527 (08/07#8178)

Miscellaneous For Sale Golf Clubs: Nike Drivey, 9.5 degree stiff graphite $140; Top Flight Irons, S.S. rifle shots $140. Also callaway woods. Les 860-3387 (08/14#8133)


Mind, Body & Spirit


If You’re not Partying at Argos, The Tower of Argos or at The Shack…

1923 Walton Way Open Mon-Fri for Happy Hour @ 6:00pm with $1 off everything Every Fri & Sat Garage Party from 9-10 with all drinks only $1 (Everything $1)

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!


Alt. Lifestyles

Club Argos Dance Club & The Tower of Argos Leather Bar Augusta’s Premier Progressive House Dance & Entertainment Zone with DJ Joe Steel.


Wanted Local collector wants to purchase authentic GA/SC/FL Indian arrowheads and arrowhead collections. Serious calls only 706-855-2910. (08/07#8176)


Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676



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A U G 7 2 0 0 3

Metro Spirit 08.07.2003  

The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond...

Metro Spirit 08.07.2003  

The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond...