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Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at metrospirit.com. m.Š events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per

CONTENTS

04 08 09

METRONEWS PRIMARY 2012 GET DOWN

10 10 19

EVENTS CALENDAR CROSSWORD THE TEEN YEARS APPROACH KICKING IT OLD SCHOOL

23 29 35 36

SLAB SIGHTINGS

37 42

THE8 ALWAYS IN STYLE THE 30TH OLYMPIAD PET PAGE

43 46 48 49

WHINE LINE

50

Contributors Jamess Allen|Greg Baker|Rob Baker| Brezsny|Sam Eifling |Matt Matt Lane|Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Matt Ruffin Matt Stone|Jenny Wright Ruff

o r t e m IR P S

INSIDER A STUPID, STUPID WEEK ANOTHER WIFE PROBLEM

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

GabrielVega|lead designer gabe@themetrospirit.com

AmyChristian|arts editor/production director amy@themetrospirit.com

JoshBailey | graphic designer AmberKuhn|sales manager amber@themetrospirit.com

BrendaCarter|senior account executive brenda@themetrospirit.com

10

JoeWhite|publisher joe@themetrospirit.com JohnnyBeckworth|circulation manager johnny@themetrospirit.com

Michael-RKQVRQ_VLJKWLQJV‡Valerie(PHULFN_ZULWHU‡Amy3HUNLQV_HGLWRULDOLQWHUQ‡Rashad2¡&RQQHU_HGLWRULDOLQWHUQ‡Terence%DUEHU_HGLWRULDOLQWHUQ‡LauraPerry|volunteer

WHINELINE

neglect. I’m already taking care of far too many lazy ones.

job and are paid “x-dollars� and clearly do more than the other guy, well, that’s just not fair. As my friend would say: “The amount of pay you recieve is inversely proportional to the amount of work you do.� Or, as I would say: “If everybody does a little bit, nobody has to do a lot!� C’mon, man!

Metro spirit, y u employ josh ruffin. He stinky writer. His So the Council voted to use the sentences incomprehensible. Also he love gay people too city’s 1+ million dollar surplus to tear down abandoned houses much. while at the same time raising Man, working for a living is hard our fire tax. Shouldn’t the - especially when the others that individual property owners be you have to count on don’t pull You can get to your destination billed for this instead. Why do I their weight. When you do your quicker with Greyhound than have to pay for someone elses Colorado. Again.

using US Airways . It’s no wonder they’re going broke ! I have a GREAT BIG RAVE for Claudia Wells and her staff at Katies pool at the Wilson family Y ... I witnessed some of the most dedicated and effective individuals who dillegently provide their services and our world is A MUCH BETTER PLACE for their Work! Thank guys?

o r t e m IRIT SP

I know that its slang, and that its politically incorrect, and that it may or may not be said with malice, but if you want to call me a rednecked Georgia cracker I wont get mad. Im just a little bit bigger than that. You see when I was about three years old my mother taught me that sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me.

15

GET DOWN: Downtown initiative begins this Friday with Metro Spirit cover shoot open to the public

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(continued on page 50)

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PRIMARY 2012: The depressing part of this election issue is that statistic on the cover: 70 percent. In spite of all the effort and all the money and all the signs, 70 percent of us won’t even bother to vote. All those speeches. All that smiling. All those back slaps and all that fear mongering and only 30 percent of us will even bother to enter the booth. In spite of those sorry numbers, however, we’re forging on and giving the 30 percent of you who give a damn a little bit more reading before it’s time to choose your ballots and make your decisions.

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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Letter to Editor Divorce Because of an Election?

SIDER

Mayor Bob’s a Drivin’ Look out boys… and lady… There’s a roundtable a’comin, and former mayor Bob’s a drivin’ the stagecoach… Word is he’s in the burlap bag for a certain carpenter, and insiders say his wife has a nasty feeling about a certain flyboy. It may be a rootin’ tootin’ sit down a comin this Friday from 8-9 p.m. on WJBF, but expect some friendly back and forth. These are all good Southern folk, after all.

THUMBS

up

Oh, Fred Willard. You’re still hilarious. A word of advice, though: Next time take advantage of all the internet has to offer.

down

To the Metro Spirit: I am appalled at the Austin Rhodes column of the July 19, 2012, issue of the Metro Spirit. To suggest that Ronnie and Patti Strength divorce because she is supporting her brother is ludicrous! They have a great marriage. The last time I checked, in the eyes of God and man, supporting and voting for your brother is not grounds for divorce. Adultery, maybe. Neither one has committed that offense. In America, anyone, male or female, can vote for the person of their choosing. That’s why we are the greatest country in the world. Shame on Austin. God bless Ronnie and Patti Strength. May they live a long and happy life together! Sincerely, Caryl Pender Augusta

Well that’s one way to keep your name in the news, Madonna. Just quit trying to pass it off as “art.”

706-863-0080

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(behind Applebee’s on Washington Rd.)

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METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

26JULY2012


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Two Guys Talking... About the Primary “I don’t get it.” Get what? “The whole election thing. We’ve got a lot that’s just not making sense this go around.” Like? “Don’t get me started.” No, really. Like what? What’s not making sense? “Well, that little leaf dotting the I on Maria Sheffield’s business card for one thing. What the hell is that about?” It’s supposed to look nonthreatening, I supppose. “It looks like some Green Party bullpucky to me. She’s a Republican — she’s supposed to look threatening. How else are they supposed to distinguish themselves from John Barrow.” There’s certainly not much threatening about him. “Which is why you know he’s not a Republican.” I see. “I mean, Lee Anderson’s a badass. He knows how to drive a tractor. Wright McLeod flew around shooting at stuff in the Middle East, and Rick Allen knows — he knows how to hire a hit man.” A what? “That little campaign manager he hired. The guy went all righteous assassin on McLeod. Tried to nail him for FEC violations. Stealing addresses. The works.” Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. “True, but there’s flicking your Bic fire and then there’s Towering Inferno fire. And the way the daily’s been covering it, you’d think it was a Sherman’s March to the Sea fire.” They do seem to dislike McLeod. “Let him set some missiles loose on the TEE Center and see how they like him then. And Allen too, for that matter. Seems to me Allen’s getting a bonus for keeping the price of that thing down.” I don’t know if I’d go that far.

“And another thing I don’t understand — if Austin’s so worried that Peebles won’t win the sheriff’s race, why doesn’t he ease up on poor Ronnie?” Maybe he believes in Peebles that strongly. “But isn’t this whole thing ultimately jeopardizing Peebles? I mean, no matter how right for the job Peebles might be, people like Ronnie. What if the whole thing looked like it was Peebles who was orchestrating it?” I’m pretty sure Austin speaks for himself. “But for the last few months it’s looked like Austin and Peebles have been one in the same, you know what I mean? Why should it look any different now that the crap has hit the Crosley?” You might have a point. “Say the race is close and it goes to a runoff. Peebles versus Roundtree. Maybe Peebles wins, but maybe he doesn’t.” That’s a lot of maybes. “Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” So, what is it about Roundtree? “Have you seen the paperwork?” Not all of it — some of it he left behind in that apartment he moved out of. “I’m talking about the court stuff. The suits for child support. There are at least a couple of them. And wage garnishments. And then there’s that business with his taxes and whether or not he was even eligible to run for office.” But the Board of Elections ruled on that. “Sure they did. But that didn’t make the tax issues go away. That was right there in black and white.” According to those 12th District Republicans, filling out your taxes in pretty complicated these days. “Yeah, but isn’t the sheriff supposed to be an administrator? And beyond reproach? I’m starting to think John Ivey has a point when he talks about the

sheriff being someone to respect.” Who? “Yeah — you’re right. What good is being a good guy if nobody knows you’re there?” Kind of like Butch Holley. “Exactly. Show me someone who knows him.” I suppose it’s possible you might be surprised. “What surprises me is the damn school board race. That’s where the money is. And the future.” And the headaches. “You’ve got that right. Can you imagine the butt chewing you’d get at the grocery store if you decided to cut middle school football?” It would probably help the pizza delivery drivers. “I mean, you rezone a school and you’re messing with hundreds of lives. You win a judgeship and you end up affecting a hell of a lot less people.” Somehow, I don’t think that’s an adequate comparison. “Maybe not, but can you explain why there are so many signs for the Chief Magistrate race?” They’re a committed bunch, that’s for sure. “It’s a shame they all spent so much money for a slam dunk.” A slam dunk? “Troiano. He’s got it in the bag.” Really? I thought he was the one with the issues. “Sure he has issues — we all have issues. But whatever those issues are, it doesn’t change the fact that Hastey’s not well regarded among those who count.” And Hudson? “He’s a flippin redhead. What more do you need to know than that?

H O L L E Y 2 0 1 2 . C O M

COLUMBIA COUNTY COMMISSIONER 26JULY2012

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT

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CONTINUED

Unintended Humor The following are actual transcripts from a recent debate question on GPB this past Sunday, in which the 12th Congressional District Republicans were asked if they supported a spending cap of $50 on lobbyist gifts. Lee Anderson Absolutely… I’m, I’m you know, I’d go on down to $25. I mean, I’m not a big spender when it comes to goin’ to suppa. To go, I mean, you know, we can go and have a hamburger at McDonalds or Burger King. I bleve in servin’ the people, I bleve in gettin’ this country back on track, I bleve in balancin’ the budget, and it doesn’t take a hundred dollars to get the job done.

e ot V ary e m s i a r Ple an P 1st 3 c i y l Jul ub p y e a R esd Tu

Conservative Leader Lower Taxes Better Quality of Life

Rick Allen Well, ahem, why, why do these folks take you, take you out in the first place, I mean, I ah I uh I don’t uh uh understand exactly you know what what the issue is there. I mean… are they tryin’ to buy your influence? I mean, you know the way I was raised… you don’t buy me. Ah ’ve been in business 35 years and you’ll see by our track, you know… record that ah, uh, you know, we just don’t participate in that sort of thing. And uh, and I’m not gonna do that in Congress. Maria Sheffield You know absolutely I support the limits. When this first became an issue at the state level, and although it is a state issue, I came out immediately in support. I released a press release. The thing that I find troubling is Mr. Anderson, I was actually at a press conference with the Tea Party and Americans for Prosperity and Georgia Conservatives in Action where he stood up and announced that he was running for Congress and mentions his support of the pending legislation, but then the very next day when establishment type members of the General Assembly and lobbyists decided that the $100 cap was not appropriate, his name came off the legislation like unfortunately other members of the General Assembly and I think that’s the difference between being a leader and just going along to get along with the people who are in the leadership. Lee Anderson’s rebuttal Maria, I never did sign it in the first place. I said I supported it and I still support it… you have to understand when you got enough numbers to su… you got to have enough elected officials to be able to get the job done, and we didn’t have the numbers. But this a time where we have to, you know, get the job done, but it’s not about the hundred dollars, like I say, you don’t even have to take me out at all. Wright McLeod It’s a state issue. It’s a crazy issue. Absolutely we should have a ban. I don’t even know why we have the discussion. My dad has always taught me son, you first of all, you do the right thing and second of all, everything you do must look like you’re doing the right thing. I don’t know how you legislate ethics, it’s very hard and obviously it’s very hard at the state level. But the answer to your specific question, do I support it? Absolutely.

6

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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METROSPIRIT

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A Stupid, Stupid Week Trying to Make Sense of It

Breaking news: politicians said a lot of dumb s**t this week. If that sentence made you pay any more attention to this article than you normally would have, your anxiety sweat has probably smudged the note your mom wrote you on the inside of your crash helmet. The rest of you, I know, are not surprised. Actually, check that; I don’t know. I’ve never been clear regarding the approximate demographics we’re going for with this column. All I know is that after I wrote several pieces about Rocky Mountain spirit quests, my bosses told me to just write about Mitt Romney’s real-world fever dreams from here on out. If we’re being realistic, we should probably cut politicians a little more slack. Yeah, a good many of them — mostly Republicans, now that Keith Olbermann has been ripped apart by the vortex of his own ego — probably have little more than perpetuating their own influence in mind, but it’s got to get old having every syllable you utter being scrutinized in an hour-long special edition of Al Sharpton’s “Politics Nation” or Sean Hannity’s “What’s With the Blacks?” We prefer our political figures more akin to a toilet bowl: cool, sterile and willing to take whatever crap comes their way without slamming the lid on your junk. Personal note: if I took every metaphor that far, Quentin Tarantino would sue me for plagiarism. In the real world, we don’t often check our speech for correctness because we either A) are among like-minded individuals, or B) harbor an implicit trust that those in our company will be intuitive enough to delineate the (admittedly) thin line between humor and insensitivity or downright stupidity. In some public figures, even within the same profession, this line exists in varying degrees of solidity. Take Howard Stern and Don Imus: Stern has generally gravitated more towards a seriocomic commentator role as of late, but even at his raunchiest he was a near-perfect cross-section of cultural insight and moron-baiting. If Martin Luther King, on the other hand, were alive today, Imus would exhibit genuine, pleasant surprise at his being “so well-spoken.” I hope, then, that this week’s column serves as something of a guide to distinguishing between cause for genuine anger and face-palming gaffes. I’m taking these quotes from two relatively small-time conservatives so that we’re on an even playing field. Again, I’m not sure of our audience demographics, so young people, think of this as two C-level Hufflepuff students slap-fighting for the last Chocolate Frog. Elderly folk, this is kind of like central casting got Perry Mason and Andy Griffith mixed up. Case No. 1: The Legitimately Stupid Quote: That the Aurora, Colo., shooting was “an attack on Judeo-Christian beliefs.” (Rep. Louie Gohmert, Texas, GOP) Since Gohmert — which sounds kind of like a noise both ends of you would make after eating way too much creamed corn — goes on to wonder why no one else in the theater was strapped and ready to take the gunman down, I have to assume that he either A) lives his life according to the apocryphal Book of John McClane, or B) mistook, as I did at age six, the word “Calvary” for “cavalry.” Either way, Rep. Gohmert is a deep-fried wingnut. Truly, only a deep-fried wingnut would suggest that the best preventative measures to curtail mass shootings is to arm a greater percentage of the population. It’s like fixing a defective stovetop by burning your house down. I had to stretch for half an hour before typing this next statement, but Louie Gohmert is the kind of maniac who watches “Stomp the Yard,” then buys camouflage tap shoes for every white person in America. You know: JUST. IN. CASE. Forgetting the logic-rape of Gohmert’s statement for a moment, I’m not sure when we started associating “Judeo-Christian beliefs” with packing heat. Depending on whether my crisis of faith is at a crest or a wave, I’m either not a Christian, or at least a very bad one.

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METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Still, I attended church and Sunday School on a regular basis for more than two decades, and this is the first I’ve heard of a Christian Militia. Yeah, there was war: most of it was in Judges, and it was awesome. Here’s the problem, though: while the Bible is based loosely on historical fact, that’s sort of like saying “The Lion King” is based on Hamlet. It’s true, but there are liberties taken. Hairy, hairy liberties. It’s hardly surprising. Studies consistently show that the highest percentages of gun owners are located in deep red states. Deep red states tend to also be the most destitute, and when destitution looms, people get desperate and simple. Gohmert is loosely threading together two things that shouldn’t have anything to do with each other — guns and God — in a cheap, deplorable attempt to stay in the good graces of his redneck constituency. And for that, he deserves your undying loathing. Case #2: I Know What You’re Thinking, But WAIT… Quote: “During the 1980s, Tip O’Neill and other liberals said, ‘We were hoping that Reagan would grow in office, but he hasn’t grown at all.’ What they meant was, he had not shed his small-government principles and his hawkish views... Truth is, some conservatives lamented that he had indeed ‘grown’ in office. He had gone out of his way to accommodate liberals and moderates, and to accommodate the Kremlin. He was raising taxes, spending like crazy, welcoming wetbacks, pursuing arms control.” (Jay Nordinger, The National Review) I don’t have time to run down the National Review’s penchant for vague or outright racist epithets, but let’s just say that every time the editors’ kids watch a Lil’ Wayne video on TV, the local Ghostbusters get a really awkward call about “spooks.” But I think we all need to let our blood cool a little and give Nordinger a bit of a break here. Subsequently, he said that he was simply trying to mimic the hyper-conservative attitude of the time in the use of that phrase, and I believe him. Ill-conceived? Well, hell yeah. But I believe him, if only because I’m pretty sure it’s damn near impossible for anyone to be stupid enough to lay bare his bigotry in national print. Maybe I have too much faith in the human race, but that’s a ship I’ll go down with. Some sources are already debunking this interpretation, asking why actual quotes wouldn’t have worked just as well, and pointing out that the other key phrases — “raising taxes,” “spending like crazy,” — were used in place of other possible throwback terms. I’ll tell you why, and it’s the same thing Patrick Swayze gave so much of himself telling us: pinkos and Valley Girls just aren’t funny. Guns and satire, I think, have a lot in common. Wielded by a skilled, even-keeled operator with the cognitive capacity to tell right from wrong, it is a beautiful thing to watch. Marine snipers amaze me, and there will never be a more perfect mockery than “Dr. Strangelove.” But for every tragically necessary headshot and work of comic genius, there are a thousand clumsy, dangerous, sociopathic asshats ruining it for the rest of us. Paint in strokes too broad, and you risk obscuring the shape of your subject.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published journalist and poet who just

received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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AUSTIN RHODES Yet Another Wife Problem

There is some solace in knowing that someone has a much bigger wife problem than I do. I am referring, of course, to my unwise choice of words in last week’s Spirit column (and thank God the problem has nothing to do with my wife... at least this time). Before I get to the new wife problem that has come up for the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department, let me set the record straight concerning my previous entry here. In addressing the very real tactical error made by Sheriff Ronnie Strength in his decision to stand quietly while four members of his agency, along with his own attorney and very best friend, all signed up for the strangest political race seen in these parts in many years, I chose some words poorly. While I believed last week, and believe even stronger now, that it was right to question whether Strength’s wife Patti was ultimately behind his decision to withhold an endorsement in the race to succeed him, I should not have made comments that appeared to reflect poorly upon her as a wife. While she is clearly working her fanny off to get her brother Robbie Silas elected your next sheriff, that is no reason to even joke about the possibility that her husband should “cut her loose.” Please do consider that the entire piece spoke to the “what if” possibility that Mrs. Strength had given her husband some kind of ultimatum to keep quiet unless he wanted to endorse her younger brother. Clearly that premise, the “what if” scenario, was too subtle to show up for many readers. But it was there. And when I used outrageous humor to suggest Strength could “find a new and better wife before we could get a new and better sheriff” (if the wrong man won the race), clearly many of you were not smiling. Neither was he. If you think you were offended, you should have heard the sheriff. As I have already explained to my radio audience, he called to tell me we were no longer speaking. He is mad, and I understand why. It was wrong of me to write those things, even if I did it knowing full well the whole city has been asking why he has been so quiet on the most important issue requiring his attention right this minute. Sheriff Strength is, without question, the best chief law enforcement officer Augusta or Richmond County has ever known. He has never been afraid of bad guys or the politicians who occasionally hinder his department’s ability to do their job. Which is why it baffles me that he has been silent on his possible successor. He personally told me that, without a strong leader, and someone his people could respect and trust, that his best officers would begin to leave for other agencies, and it would create a talent void that would be hard to overcome. Years ago when Sheriff Charles Webster announced his retirement, he ordered his top people to

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decide among themselves who would run to succeed him. Once that decision was made, the emerging candidate would get Webster’s full support and any one of his team who challenged that chosen man would incur the wrath of the sheriff, and the political machine that put and kept him in place. Strength was selected to be that man, and while he did get token opposition from a few outside Webster’s inner circle, there was a united front among the top officers. If they had any disagreements or conflicts, the public never knew about it. How ironic that one of the few good and original ideas Webster is known to have had on his own was squarely ignored by Sheriff Strength. How bad is it now? It is so bad that we have the wife of one of his internal affairs investigators, Shane McDaniel, slinging mud and nasty allegations at officers she perceives to be working in support of someone other than their (her and her husband’s) chosen candidate, the aforementioned Silas. Karen McDaniel submitted official Freedom of Information requests to see the personnel files of those officers in the quest to drag up any and all damaging information she could on them. She is posting a lot of the crap, much of it out of context and incomplete, on social websites, and of course she loves to toss out the occasional tidbit as she trolls the Augusta Chronicle comments sections. The nasty rhetoric got so bad Monday night that AC moderators pulled the entire exchange between her and several officers who were calling her out on her campaign of mass destruction. In one entry, she belittled Investigator Griff Garrison by making light of an incident a few years ago when he was forced to shoot and kill an armed suspect. Pure evil, that is. Oh, and just for good measure, she posted online that I dislike Sheriff Webster and his Southside Mafia fanbase, saying “Sheriff Webster had you FIRED from the TV station. Is that why you don’t like people from South Augusta because you got put in your place?” It is hard for me to be bothered by that because it is so laughable, but given the fact that she is spewing such ignorant trash in such high supply, Sheriff Strength now has a new wife problem. He better get it under control, because it is tearing his department to pieces.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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ERICJOHNSON

The depressing par t of this election issue is that statistic on the cover: 70 percent. In spite of all the effor t and all the money and all the signs, 70 percent of us won’t even bother to vote. All those speeches. All that smiling. All those back slaps and all that fear mongering and only 30 percent of us will even bother to enter the booth. In spite of those sorry numbers, however, we’re forging on and giving the 30 percent of you who give a damn a little bit more reading before it’s time to choose your ballots and make your decisions. 10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

The Rundown on Runoffs

With many voters crossing party lines, many are unclear about the rules regarding runoffs With the heated sheriff’s race likely to drive a considerable number of Richmond County Republicans to pick up Democratic ballots on July 31, this year’s primary promises to be confusing to voters, especially considering the fact that chances are good the two most followed races will end in runoffs. “I don’t recall a time when there has been such good, interesting, contested races on both party’s primary ballots,” says Lynn Bailey, executive director of the Richmond County Board of Elections. According to Bailey, interest in the sheriff’s race and the 12th Congressional District Republican primary will

likely drive numbers way up. “The last two primaries — 2008 and 2010 — we had a 23.6 and a 14.5 percent turnout,” she says. “I think this one, from what we’ve been seeing so far, will probably be somewhere around 30 percent, give or take.” Larger numbers mean more voters unschooled

in the primary process. “Voting in a primary can be a bit tricky in a lot of people’s minds,” she says. “It’s the whole having to choose a party thing. It throws people off.” Typically, voters choose their ballots according to their party affiliation, but given the races this year, many will find themselves strategizing, and most are uncertain how a runoff might affect their vote. In order for a candidate to be the outright winner, he or she would have to receive 50 percent plus one vote. Otherwise, the

top two vote getters face off in a runoff, which for the upcoming primary will be August 21. Voters, however, are bound by their initial decision, Bailey says. Whichever party’s primary a voter participates in initially, that voter will have to stick with the same party through the runoff. “In other words, you can’t switch midstream,” she says. “The runoff would be an extension of the initial election.” Voters who do not vote in the primary are eligible to vote in whatever party’s runoff 26JULY2012


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they choose because they did not declare a party. The same is true for those who initially vote non partisan — they can choose to vote in a party’s runoff election because they did not declare a party in the initial primary and the candidates they have to choose from are only the non-partisan ones. Bailey says she’s seen considerable confusion throughout early voting, especially among Republican voters, who choose a Republican ballot, then change to a Democrat ballot when they don’t see the sheriff’s candidates they’re looking for. Scott Peebles, Richard Roundtree, Robbie Silas and John Ivey are running as Democrats, while Freddie Sanders and Michael Godowns are running as Republicans. “It’s been a tough choice for voters here in Richmond County to make

this go around,” Bailey says. “To choose between participating in the Congressional race and the sheriff’s race — it’s been tough. Once you get to November, though, you can do whatever you want. Your vote in the primary has nothing whatsoever to do with your vote in November.” As for Richmond County’s commission and school board races, voters won’t be able to weigh in on those until November. Candidate qualifying, however, will open up at 9 a.m. on Monday, August 6, and close at noon on Wednesday, August 8. Had redistricting proceeded as anticipated, candidates for these offices would have qualified with the rest of the candidates in May. Any runoffs needed for these offices will occur on December 4.

Fine the Way it Was Congressional district hurt by interference

In spite of what some might say, the 12th Congressional District Republican primary was fine the way it was. It had four easily identifiable conservative candidates that were working with an eight-point Republican advantage thanks to the redrawn map that actually drew out the incumbent, Democrat Rep. John Barrow, who ended up moving to Augusta from Savannah the way he moved to Savannah from Athens for the 2006 election when a similar fate befell him. The primary really didn’t need any help to be interesting. With its cast of characters, their backgrounds, their individual strengths and weaknesses, it had all the makings of a great race. The farmer. The businessman. The fighter pilot. The woman lawyer. It was fine — and fair — the way it was. Enter Larry Peterson. Peterson is the political writer for the Savannah Morning News. No stranger to reporting on the 12th District, it became quickly and almost embarrassingly apparent that his stories were becoming a part of the campaign itself. With the exception of a 12th District roundup story and final profiles of each of the four candidates, Peterson has written about the 12th District Congressional Republican primary 15 times since May 17, the date when Rick Allen’s campaign first brought up allegations of Wright McLeod campaign violations. Of these 15 stories, 13 were outwardly critical of McLeod, leading many to ponder a connection between Peterson’s one-sided reporting and the political desires of Augusta’s William Morris. Morris, of course, owns the Augusta Chronicle and the Columbia County News Times. He also owns the Savannah Moring News. Both the Chronicle and the News Times have frequently published Peterson’s stories. McLeod, an Evans real estate attorney and former F-14 radio intercept officer in Desert Storm, raised eyebrows earlier in the year with his first-quarter fundraising totals, which eclipsed Allen’s, who was considered the odds on favorite to win the fundraising arm of the competition. McLeod raised nearly $150,000 in the first quarter of 2012 compared with Allen’s $76,000. Anderson raised $90,000 and Sheffield raised just $14,000 over the $100,000 loan she made to the campaign. Soon after, Allen’s campaign manager, Scott Paradise, filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission, charging McLeod with not fully reporting expenditures, accepting donations larger than allowed and stealing campaign donor lists. “McLeod is either ignorant of the law or he thinks he’s above the law,” Paradise was quoted by Peterson. “We have too many folks in Washington, D.C., that think they’re above the law. We don’t need another one.” Paradise, a political operative known for participating in hardball campaigns in 26JULY2012

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Maria Sheffield

Lee Anderson Wright McLeod

Rick Allen Kansas and Louisiana, continued to be the frontman for Allen’s attacks against McLeod. He was quoted in nearly every one of the 13 stories critical of McLeod. As campaign manager, it’s certainly his job to respond to questions, but it’s important to note that the FEC complaint central to much of the reporting was made by Paradise himself, which makes him an independent part of the story he’s consistently commenting on. In effect, he is the reason for those questions so consistently involving McLeod’s apparent wrongdoing. Which isn’t discounting Peterson’s role in what’s going on. Ultimately, he’s the one writing the stories. In a July 15 story, titled “Congressional Candidate Wright McLeod Still Hiding the Ball,” Peterson reports on the McLeod campaign conceding to an incomplete reporting of $51,000 identified only as payroll as well as other inadequately described outlays as if McLeod was stonewalling the way Peterson had previously claimed. With enough raw data, speculation is easy to create, especially in the already murky world of campaign finance. A look at Allen’s paperwork shows

12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

that, in one day, Allen received $4,000 in donations from nine different people in Sunset Hills County Club in Carrollton, Georgia. Carrollton is on the other side of the state, far from District 12. Of the 17 total donations, which amounted to over $20,000, several were from housewives or the self employed, red flags for the Allen campaign when they were sifting through McLeod’s donors. Rather than going on the attack himself, McLeod in large part explained his position in these and other issues the Paradise/Peterson team raised — he said a vote for Democrat Bill Richardson in the 2008 Democrat primary was a vote for the lesser evil and told voters that the Democrat candidate for attorney general he and his wife donated $10,000 to was a law school friend — but Peterson continued to hammer away. In forums and debates, however, McLeod began to shine while Allen often seemed to fumble. At the West Augusta Alliance forum, for example, Allen looked less than gracious when endeavoring to compare himself to McLeod when it came to military service.

“I congratulate Wright on serving his country,” he said. “I, too, want to serve this country. My military experience is two years of ROTC at Auburn. That was at the end of the Vietnam War. Frankly, there were no opportunities for our folks after school, so I elected to go into the business world.” A reasonable decision for the 1973 graduate, considering the amount of blood that had yet to be shed before the U.S. fully pulled out of Vietnam in April 1975, but certainly not one most would want to stand up against the decisions made by a combat veteran, especially in a district that includes Fort Gordon and all the current and former service members attached to it. And for all Allen’s talk of McLeod’s voting record, he has also registered his share of Democratic votes, not to mention a financial donation to Augusta Democrat Champ Walker’s campaign. Walker is the son of imprisoned state Senator Charles Walker. It seems clear to many political watchers that the Allen/Peterson/Morris front has invested so much time and effort trying to trip up McLeod that they may actually done the Allen campaign

more harm than good. By taking such an aggressive stature and operating as if they were the frontrunner with only one other candidate worthy of fighting, they may have opened of the way for Grovetown farmer Lee Anderson, who despite several poor showings and a general perception that he is often overwhelmed by the issues, has managed to garner considerable support in suburban Columbia County. Combining that with the rural voters who would be his natural constituency, and he could end up surprising a lot of people, at least enough to make it to the runoff. With four in the race, it’s easy to imagine that no one will earn the 50 percent plus one vote to take him or her over the top. It also appears increasingly likely that Allen will be hurt by the hotly contested Richmond County sheriff’s race, which seems to be persuading more and more Richmond County Republicans to choose a Democratic primary ballot. Columbia County Republicans, who will likely favor Anderson or McLeod, won’t be faced with that pressure. How the final story will be written, however, is anybody’s guess.

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Road Rules

Silas looks to move from road patrol to sheriff Though Robbie Silas has often credited former Richmond County Sheriff Charlie Webster and his brother-in-law, current Sheriff Ronnie Strength, with being role models, he looks to Aiken County Sheriff Michael Hunt for inspiration. “A lot of people downplayed him because he was on road patrol,� Silas says. “Being on road patrol is a great thing. You learn the streets, you learn the community. He came out with first-hand knowledge of what needed to be done in the community and made it work over there.� It makes sense that Silas should be inspired by Hunt’s rise. As a road patrol lieutenant, Silas is attempting to make the same jump Hunt did. On the other hand, there’s Scott Peebles, who is running as the head of the Criminal Investigation Division (CID), which is considered a more traditional path to the top spot. Though it may not be conventional, it’s clear road patrol has no bigger advocate than Robbie Silas. “People say you don’t have criminal investigation skills — that’s bull,� he says. “Road patrol officers handle the same things that investigators handle, and there are lots of times we don’t even get an investigator.� Investigators are mostly called in for murders and rapes and times when they’ve got to build a better case file, he says. “Everything they can do in CID we can do just as

good on the road patrol,� he says. “So saying that if you’re working here you’re not prepared to be sheriff

is false.� Throughout the campaign, Silas has fought against the notion that because Peebles comes from CID he’s not only better qualified, but he’s shown more initiative toward becoming sheriff. Silas disagrees, saying that the command structure does not favor a supervisor moving from road patrol to CID. “A good supervisor knows people,� he says. “A good supervisor has leadership skills — you wouldn’t have made him a supervisor if you didn’t think he was going to be a good leader — so to me you should be able to take him and put him anywhere in the department. We don’t do that. Once you get promoted to road patrol, you’re stuck.� Though it’s still possible to make the move, Silas says you’re not going to get promoted to CID once you become a sergeant or a lieutenant on road patrol unless you give up your supervisory duties. And then there are the lifestyle changes. “Going to CID — you’ve got to make adjustments,� he says. “In Criminal Investigations, you don’t get the family time. I’ve got a wife and two children that are

still in school. I love being at the baseball games and spending time there at Masters City [the Little League program where he currently serves as president], and being up there would have shut a lot of that down.� It’s not that he’s not dedicated, he says, he just wasn’t ready to accept being somewhere that would take away that family time. “Plus, they don’t move supervisors around, so once I made rank, there wasn’t an option to go up there as a supervisor,� he says. “If I could have gone up there as a supervisor, I would have done it. But it just wasn’t there.� And then there’s the fact that Strength is his sister’s husband, which has spurred rumors of nepotism, which he vehemently denies. “From Day One when I started back under Sheriff Webster, Ronnie’s never done anything for me,� he says. “He’ll tell you to this day that he’s probably done more to hurt me than to help me, and it makes me feel good that I can go home and lay my head down at night and know I’ve earned everything I’ve gotten.� His entrance into the race was also seen by Peebles supporters (or Roundtree detractors) as a complication, potentially splitting the white vote which could conceivably allow Roundtree to walk away with the sheriff’s office. Another thing Silas has worked to overcome is

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14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

the perception that he resists the administrative requirements of the office. “There have been some comments, and I think Scott made some comments, about pushing the pen,” he says. “I made that statement, and it wasn’t directed at any candidate. It’s basically saying that I’m not in the office pushing a pen, because I’m not.” He does his administrative work when he first gets to the office, he says, then he’s on the streets. “I’m not going to just sit in the office with my feet propped up, which I could if I wanted to,” he says. “To me, I want to get out there and make a difference. That’s what I meant about pushing the pen. I’m not in the office pushing a pen

“With the black and white issue — I think there is some disparity with black supervisors in our department,” he says. “However, there have been some black folks that have turned down promotions — and white folks, too — because what happens most of the time is, when you get promoted now, especially in road patrol, you pretty much go to night shift. A lot of folks — they don’t want to change their lifestyle, so people have given it up.” Such a slight answer might have drawn fire from those at a recent NAACP forum, but Silas left after the introductions, citing a previous engagement. Another thing Silas says he would

all the time. I’m out there on the street.” As a candidate, he is running on the platform of adding more officers, building better community relations, revitalizing youth programs and creating a citizens advisory board. The citizens advisory board is something Strength strenuously opposes. “Some people have a different take on it,” he admits. “My thing is — I don’t want a group of folks coming in telling me how to run my department. I want a group of folks to come in and see how the department is being run.” That kind of public understanding does more than help public awareness, he says. It can trickle down to the commissioners, who hold the purse strings. “That way, when it comes down to the commissioners having to add another millage rate to the taxes or whatever, they can say, hey — I’ve seen it in action. I’ve seen how things are going.” He also wants to tighten up the promotions procedure, making it less about who you know and more about being qualified.

like to see is more communication among the divisions, and he points to one of Peeble’s shining moments as an example. “This Operation Smokescreen,” he says. “They had a lot of folks they were supposed to arrest, but it was weeks later before we even got photographs of the folks that we wanted. When you’ve got 300-some people on the road patrol, it would be nice to have those pictures, because we’re out there every day. We see what they’re doing.” Silas says he finally got the information, but only after requesting it. Regarding his association with South Augusta and its long but fading legacy as the real seat of Augusta’s political power, Silas shrugs. “People have misconceptions about the Southside Mafia trying to restore itself with me being a candidate,” he says. “That’s not the case. What’s the difference between a group of folks in South Augusta wanting to better their community when you’ve got a group of folks in West Augusta who meet on a regular basis, too? They don’t call it the West Augusta Mafia.” 26JULY2012


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should be teaching.

move forward.

DEBORAH FISHER Metro Spirit: What are the biggest problems in your school district? Deborah Fisher: Budget cuts are the main issue. But increased classroom sizes is also an issue that I plan to address.

Spirit: Why are you best suited for this position as opposed to your opponents? Fisher: Because I believe that right now, it’s a time for change and that more is required [from the school board]. I believe that our schools face so many challenges, with the growing population here in Columbia County, with increased classroom sizes, etc. In light of this, and with my experience and leadership and as an educator, I feel that I can bring something to the table that can help us grow throughout the 21st century. I also have a very patient attitude and I listen; I’m a great listener. I find that being a great listener helps me in all of my involvements. I used to be a manager at Eisenhower Army Medical Center and I’ve managed so many people and sitting down and actually listening to people was probably the most effective tool that I could have had as a leader and as a manager.

Spirit: How do you hope to address major issues in the system once elected? Fisher: I hope to be able to provide a new vision and a new perspective on the agenda and the path forward. Hopefully my new perspective will offer some change in the way that we look at things and the way that we manage things. Spirit: Why are you running? Fisher: For most of my life, I’ve been serving my country and I’ve served my community and even today, I continue to volunteer for various organizations. And, along with that, I’m a professional educator and I know that I have a great deal to offer this office. I think considering all of those things, I have the tools to help our schools

of the Criminal Investigations Division (CID) and as SWAT Team commander. Peebles was a prominent figure in some of Strength’s most successful operations, including the recent Operation Smokescreen, which liberated hundreds of guns and rooms full of stolen merchandise. Peebles announced shortly after the operation that he was running for sheriff. This hand off of power was complicated, however, when Strength’s brother-in-law, Lt. Robbie Silas, announced his own run for office. A well-respected road patrol supervisor with strong ties to South Augusta, Silas was not immediately considered a legitimate threat to win, but political observers understood immediately that he stood a good chance of splitting the white vote, potentially paving the way for a Roundtree victory. Another African American, Lt. John Ivey, joined the race, but his impact on Roundtree was gauged to be minimal. On the Republican side, former Chief of the Richmond County Police and longtime attorney Freddie Sanders, who is also Strength’s closest friend, threw in for the office, as well Mike Godowns. It was Silas’ entrance, however, that was seen as particularly tough on Strength, who would be unable to endorse Peebles as planned because of his wife’s loyalty to her brother (she briefly had a Strength for Silas sign on her car). That sign and Strength’s unwillingness to make an endorsement in spite of the perceived consequences came to a head last week when WGAC talk radio host and Metro Spirit columnist Austin Rhodes lashed out against Strength. Lost in all the drama is the thing no one seems willing to come right out and say — the fact that many in the community actually fear what a Roundtree victory could mean for Augusta, a city with plenty of racial tension already. Though it’s easy to blame the South’s engrained racism, Roundtree isn’t just a black man aspiring to power. He is a black man, yes, but he is also a man with significant baggage. Roundtree lost face — and his position with the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office — after repeated scandals, some personal, some professional and some so fundamentally manipulative that it would be hard for much of the community to respect a sheriff with such things in his past. And a community that doesn’t respect its sheriff is a community on the brink of dissolution. Though by all accounts a likeable man and an exceptional investigator, Roundtree’s lack of control, displayed by reports of checking women out of the jail, having relationships with multiple women under his command, being sued for unpaid child support and reports of wage garnishment, all lead to the question — is this what the community wants their chief law enforcement officer to be? And then there are the files and guns and equipment he left behind as he moved out 26JULY2012

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of an apartment and the Grateful Mother issue, in which Roundtree allegedly defended himself on message boards through the use of a pseudonym. Regardless of all of that, if it weren’t for a Board of Elections ruling many still don’t understand, Roundtree wouldn’t be in the race at all because of unpaid taxes at the time of filing. In an interview with the Metro Spirit, Freddie Sanders refused to criticize any of his fellow candidates outside of the issues. “Everybody’s got baggage,” he said. “If you’ve lived this life, you’ve got baggage. And you’re not running for pope.” While all that may be true, the fact remains a certain portion of the city fears the particular baggage Roundtree brings with him almost as much as they fear those in the community willing to overlook it.

Scott Peebles John Ivey

18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Robbie Silas

Freddie Sanders

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AMYCHRISTIAN

Get Down

Downtown initiative begins this Friday with Metro Spirit cover shoot open to the public

Fill the stands at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre this Friday and you’ll be on the cover of the Metro Spirit next Thursday, August 2.

Christy Beckham lives downtown with her husband and two children in a 19th centuryera house they’re restoring, so she was pretty close to the action last First Friday when gunfire injured six people. “We live on the corner of 9th and Greene and the shooting was on 9th and Broad,” she said. “I was right in the middle of packing toys for vacation.” The event, which almost instantly renewed fears of downtown as an unsafe place for peaceful, law-abiding folk, did not send Beckham and her family running for The Hill… or Columbia County. “We did not,” she laughed, when asked if she stuck a For Sale sign in her yard the next day. “I was more mad than anything because I felt like I was super naïve to think that something like this couldn’t happen. We moved here at a time when we knew there was a transition going on.” 26JULY2012

In fact, that’s precisely why they moved downtown from Summerville’s Russell Street. “I grew up in the suburbs… Hephzibah, and there’s so much more to Augusta than just the suburbs,” she said. “We live in a very historic area, our house was built in 1899, we walk to dinner and walk home. We have all the amenities of a city.” And the violence — her family’s first incident in a year of living downtown, it’s worth noting — prompted her to action, even though she was out of town the following week. “I was on vacation for a week, but I read about it and stayed informed,” she said. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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“When we got back, I called Coco Rubio and he and I went to lunch on Tuesday.” Rubio, one of downtown’s biggest advocates, is owner of the Soul Bar and Sky City and Beckham found out that he had already been in touch with Molly McDowell, executive director of the Westobou Festival. McDowell had planned the Westobou 2012 ticket launch around August’s First Friday and was worried what the violence and calls to shut down the event would mean. So the three decided to organize an event that would highlight all the good to be found in downtown. “We thought it could actually bring a lot of attention to First Friday and we wanted to organize something meaningful,” she said. The result is Get Down Downtown, two events taking place on First Friday, August 3. The first is a free family event at the Augusta Common that will feature live entertainment from Tara Scheyer and the Mud Puppy Band, Folly and the JAMP (James Brown Academy of Music Pupils) Masters, as well as children’s activities and local food trucks. But no alcohol. “You keep hearing about drunks on the streets, so we wanted a family friendly, family targeted event,” Beckham said. While they were planning this event, McDowell had also been working with the Friends with Benefits Fund on a concert that they hoped to have the same night for the 21-35-year-old crowd.

“We were trying to decide which one to do and thought, why don’t we do both?” she said. The concert at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre will start at 8 p.m. and will feature Bloodkin, Stewart & Winfield and Funk You. Proceeds from the concert will benefit local charities. As originally planned, Westobou tickets will be available during First Friday. Get Down Downtown, however, actually begins this Friday, July 27, with a photo shoot at the amphitheater open to anyone who supports downtown. Those interested in being featured on the cover of the August 2 issue of the Metro Spirit need only show up at 6 p.m. “For the picture, the idea is to bring exposure to who is downtown,” Beckham explained. “We don’t want people to have the idea that downtown people don’t care and aren’t contributing. We want to feature the faces of downtown: kids, grandparents… the people who aren’t out there shooting people with guns. It’s to give a face to the story and make it make sense.” Beckham went on to say that the Get Down Downtown initiative is not just about First Friday, and that her loosely formed group doesn’t have a name and doesn’t just kick around ideas like so many of the ineffective groups she’s seen formed in the past. These events, she hopes, will spur people to think past one incident that could have happened anywhere. “Really we’re just trying to raise awareness, to

take a negative story and make it a positive thing and put it behind us,” she said. “We’re trying to better the community for the long haul. Not just for First Friday for one month. We want it to be a better place for forever.” That, she said, can only happen if those downtown remain committed to the area. And for those who say that the gunfire is prompting them to move? “I think that’s a shame, but there are some people who will not ever be happy or satisfied,” she said. “But if you’re not willing to put in the effort, if you’re going to be a naysayer all the time, then it’s probably best for you to move. You can’t change it. All you can do is say, okay, what are we going to do to make it better?” Get Down Downtown Photo Shoot Jessye Norman Amphitheatre Friday, July 27 | 6 p.m. metrospirit.com Get Down Downtown Family Friendly Event Augusta Common | Friday, August 3 5-10 p.m. Concert w/ Bloodkin, Stewart & Winfield, Funk You Jessye Norman Amphitheatre Friday, August 3 | 8 p.m. | $12 eventbrite.com

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TERRENCEBARBER

Crime Happens Your Weird Week in Crime

Is Augusta-Richmond County really as crime ridden as you think it is? As the crimes and the times change, so will the report. Those aren’t even aviators On Friday, July 20, an man entered Dillard’s and hid two pair of Costal sunglasses in an unpaid for shirt. The suspect returned the shirt but attempted to leave the store when he was spotted by a RCSO deputy and a Dillard’s loss prevention officer. The suspect fled to his SUV, entering and locking the door. The suspect started the vehicle and backed out, nearly hitting the deputy in the process. The deputy hit the passenger-side window with his baton but the suspect successfully fled. Beware of peaches On Friday, July 20, at 11 p.m., an Augusta male invited a female known as “Peaches” into his residence. The man went to the bathroom and upon exiting two other men were in the room, one armed with a black pistol. One man stated, “Give it up you know what it is,” according to the incident report. When the victim said that he did not have any money, “Peaches” said that he was lying. The robber hit the victim with the butt of the gun. The victim regained consciousness at 10 a.m. on Saturday, when he contacted authorities. Gangs in Augusta? *GASP* On Saturday, July 21, a deputy walked upon two victims of a robbery. The two victims were talking by their cars when four men in masks, three armed with pistols, one armed with a modified AK-47, approached. The robbers told then to lay on the ground, where they took the male victim’s pants and car keys, and the female victim’s purse. The men said “Bloods for life” and fled the scene on foot.

26JULY2012

When calling the police goes wrong On Saturday, July 21, an Augusta woman called the RCSO in reference to another Augusta female following her. The two parties had an argument about sex and the complainant said the other female wouldn’t let her sleep, and later bit her on her shoulder. When the reporting officer ran background on the complainant, it was revealed she had four confirmed warrants. When the deputy attempted to restrain the complainant, she resisted, forcing two other officers to assist and place her in leg restraints. On the way to the RCJ, the complainant kicked out a window of the squad car. Crime totals for the week 60 counts of larceny (both felony and misdemeanor) 30 counts of invasion of privacy Nine counts of burglary with forced entry (night time) Nine counts of assault Seven counts of financial fraud Six counts of burglary with forced entry (daytime) Six counts of burglary with forced entry (time unknown) Five counts of theft/mislaid property Four counts of vehicle theft Four counts of recovered property Four counts of robbery Three counts of property damage Three counts of obstruction of a law enforcement officer Two counts of forgery One count of public peace disturbance One count of burglary with no forced entry (night time) One count of burglary with no forced entry (daytime) One count of flight/escape

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The Only Candidate with Judicial Experience

I am Jason Troiano. I now serve the people of Columbia County as Associate Magistrate Judge. On July 31, 2012, Columbia County voters will elect their next Chief Magistrate Judge. I am the only candidate with judicial experience; therefore, I face every day. I hope to have the opportunity to serve you in that role. I am asking for your vote so that I may continue to serve the citizens of Columbia County. As your Associate Magistrate Judge, I have dedicated myself to defending the rights of our your family safe.

22 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

VOTE JULY 31 In the Republican Primary

26JULY2012


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26JULY2012

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 23


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Yep, it’s almost time for the kids to go back to school. Before they do, however, here are a few events wor th checking out. A town hall meeting to raise awareness about youth alcohol abuse and prevention, featuring a presentation by Judge Wade Padgett, dinner, school supplies and giveaways, is Tuesday, July 31, at the Headquar ters Branch Library at 6 p.m. Call 706-721-8418 or visit didyouknowfacts.net. Columbia County Back to School Festival is Saturday, July 28, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Evans Middle School. Call 706-312-7192 or visit ccboe.net. And Stuff the Bus, in which par ticipants donate school supplies, is Friday, July 27, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Kroc Center and Saturday, July 28, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Walmar t in Waynesboro. Call 706-724-5544 or visit uwcsra.org.

ENTERTAIN

ME

Arts

Call for Entries for the Augusta Photo Festival, which is October 27-November 4, is going on now through August 15. For contest rules and more information, visit augustaphotofestival.org/competition.html. Call 706-834-9742 or email info@augustaphotofestival.org. Active-duty military personnel and their families will receive free admission to the Morris Museum of Art through Sunday, September 2, as part of the museum’s participation in the Blue Star Museum program. Call 706-7247501 or visit themorris.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

Strange Fruit: Lithographs by Joseph Norman is on display at the Morris Museum of Art through September 16. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Painters Freddie Flynt and Tricia Mayers exhibit their work at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through August 31. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Works by Jesse Lee Vaughn and Lauryn Sprouse show in July at Gaartdensity Gallery downtown. Call 706-466-5166 or email gaartdensitygallery@rocketmail.com. Photography Outreach Camp Exhibition will be on display in the Morris Museum of Art’s Education Gallery July 3-29. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Hamburg: The Forgotten Town, an historical exhibit on the town which flourished on the South Carolina banks near the modern Fifth Street Bridge, shows through August 24 at the Arts & Heritage Center of North Augusta. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. 24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

South Carolina Heart Gallery, a photographic exhibition featuring children in foster care waiting for adoption, shows in July at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Adult Student Art Exhibition shows through July 28 at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. The Work of Ceramic Artist Kyungmin Park is on view through July 27 at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. Annual Photography Exhibition shows through July 31 at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Tying the Knot, a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, now shows at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. ACA Summer Camp Exhibition, featuring the works of participants in the center’s summer art camps, shows June-August at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Music

Jazz Series on Sunday, July 29, at the 8th Street River Stage downtown at 8 p.m. $6; free, those 12 and under. Visit gardencityjazz.com. 2012 Hopelands Summer Concert Series, featuring Aiken Big Band, is Monday, July 30, at 7 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens in Aiken. Participants should bring lawn chairs and blankets. Free. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Mindless Behavior with Jacob Latimore and Lil Twist play the Bell Auditorium Thursday, August 2, at 7 p.m. $45-$99.50. Call 877-4AUGTIX or visit georgialinatix.com. The Augusta Mall’s Food Court Concert Series is each Saturday in July at 7 p.m. Call 706-733-1001 or visit augustamall.com. The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-364-4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Literary

Cookbook Club meets Thursday, July 26, at 4 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Music in the Park, featuring 246th Army Jazz Band, is Thursday, July 26, at 7 p.m. at the Grace UMC Wesley Center in North Augusta. Free. Call 803442-7588 or visit naartscouncil.org.

Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Jamp’Cert: Hot on the One, a concert by the students of the J.B. Academy of Musik Pupils, is Friday, July 27, at 6 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Free and open to the public. Call 706-736-6216 or visit jamesbrownfamilyfdn.org.

Dance

The Columbia County Amateur Series, featuring Sharon Maina, Allison Skipper, Reese Evans and Folly, is Friday, July 27, at 7 p.m. at the Columbia County Amphitheater. Call 706-868-3349 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. The Mike Frost Band performs as part of Garden City Jazz’s Candlelight

Tango Night is every Thursday, 7-9:30 p.m., at Casa Blanca Cafe, 936 Broad Street. Call 706-504-3431 or visit casablancatime.com. Belly Dance Class is every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477. 26JULY2012


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V23|NO30

“A” TRIP AROUND THE WORLD By Randolph Ross / Edited by Will Shortz

82 Sealing wax ingredient 84 Woman in Progressive Insurance commercials 85 “You’re on!” 88 Punjabi princesses 90 Camel group? 92 Like a heckling crowd 93 Sight from Mount Olympus 94 Field fare, for short 95 Three more stops 100 Three more stops 102 River through Wroclaw 103 Wrapped (up) 104 Bubbly choice 105 O-O-O 106 Acid 107 Grammy winner born in Nigeria 108 Extrema, e.g. 109 Takeoff points for many test flights Down 1 Meadow sound 2 Introduction for Romeo? 3 Flit 4 Designer Pucci 5 Ruling against a receiver 6 Eschew one’s food? 7 Cheese choice 8 Braided bread 9 Home wrecker? 10 Gym wear 11 Traces 12 Singles grp.? 13 Love/hate separator, they say 14 Honoree in the arts 15 Some city sounds 16 “Patience ___ virtue” 20 Tab 21 Root in perfumery 23 “But despite it all …” 24 Thief, slangily 25 Highly rated 30 Six make a fl. oz. 31 Classic toothpaste brand 32 Early European visitor of India 33 Satirical Randy Newman song 35 Gain, as consent 38 “Don’t play favorites”

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French ladies One clearing one’s throat? Piece of gold? Name formerly on New York’s MetLife Building 47 Handel bars? 48 The Fonz and Hannah Montana 50 “Ach du ___!” 52 Widens 53 Spoil 54 Campaign coffer fillers 56 Staff 57 Kay Jewelers competitor 58 Stored on board 59 Kind of nut 60 European event of 1948 62 Danny of “Do the Right Thing” 64 Olympian Apolo ___ Ohno 69 Branch of Islam 70 Fedora features 71 Put down 72 Warming periods 73 “I ___ you one” 75 Maze navigator 78 Ruinations 79 Score of zippo 80 What Madonna and Cher are each known by 81 Go-between 83 11-time M.L.B. All-Star Fisk 86 “___ Is Born” 87 Christian in France 88 Done over 89 Twisted and turned 91 Blow up, maybe 93 Like pop-ups 96 Electronics company bought by Sony 97 “Darn!” 98 Hollywood clashers 99 P. G. Wodehouse’s ___ Agatha 100 E-mail inits. 101 Loser to D.D.E.

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PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 European spa site 6 Non-fiction 10 Clam (up) 14 French pronoun 17 Historic mission, with “the” 18 Borg rival 19 Words before may and might 21 They’re often seen in banks 22 Four stops on “A” trip around the world 26 Three more stops 27 “___ be an honor” 28 Flashes quickly 29 Soft 31 Three Stooges specialty 34 John who is half of a popular singing duo 35 McIntosh alternatives 36 Bert, to Ernie 37 Lang. from which 8- and 24-Down come 39 Mag mogul with a mansion 40 Moneymaking concern 41 Bikini part 42 Like many an out-of-towner in Times Square 44 Sci-fi drug 46 Window-shopping purchase? 47 Manual contents 49 ___ Observatory 51 It comes and goes 53 Wander 54 Long-running PBS documentary film series 55 Three more stops 61 Three more stops 63 Three more stops 65 “That’s yucky!” 66 Former senator Stevens 67 Speaks, informally 68 11-time N.B.A. All-Star Iverson 69 Bake, as an egg 72 Works on 74 Tostitos bowl? 76 Channel choker 77 Solo in the movies 78 Hacks 79 S.A. tin exporter

C O I L A N N I B L I N Y M C B O I I N C L A C A I S E L L J U P F O G O I N G R R S E M I T A C T I L O O Q U E E A P P S E L I S D E C O A S K

A D O B T I R A D E D B Y A S H L S D S I N E D I B E T P U T O O E T O R R U S G T H R O Y O U G A T E E A C H T V Y U E P A D N O F D E T O R E L I V E S C O T A N D

E N D O W S F R A U S

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F E I G N E O D P E P N I I R T O G I

P A M E N O S L I G H T E L A U L L O W D A Y K Y N R A D E S C E S P A Z R L I H D E M O O R T N A C T I E T E S T S T A G P C R U A L S Y R E G T E L L D O D E E P N S E T S

C R D A E B L O M N T V E T I O N N G L E I S S E S E T L O

T H E B A B E

D E A L T I N

S T R E E T S

O K O K

T I N E

E A S Y

O V E R P A I D

G E R O N I M O

O R S O L E N

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS. Elliott Sons Funeral Homes ELLIOTTFUNERALHOME.COM

26JULY2012

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 29


V23|NO30

Theater

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Almost, Maine,â&#x20AC;? a Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre production, shows July 27-28 and August 2-4, with dinner at 7 p.m. and the show at 8 p.m. $40, civilians; $38, seniors, retirees, DA civilians, active-duty E7 and above; $30, active-duty E6 and below; $25, show only. Call 706-793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com. Auditions for the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s production of Agatha Christieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Witness for the Prosecutionâ&#x20AC;? are Monday-Tuesday, July 30-31, at 7 p.m. For more information, email steven.r.walpert.naf@ mail.mil.

Come in for a tour TODAY!

Flix

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Noraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Willâ&#x20AC;? shows Thursday, July 26, at 7:30 p.m. at the Jabez Sanford Hardin Performing Arts Center as part of the Augusta Jewish Film Festival. $10. Visit augustajcc.org. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hachiâ&#x20AC;? shows at the Aiken Public Library on Friday, July 27, at 1:30 p.m. as part of the Dog Days of Summer Movie Fest. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Angel Dogâ&#x20AC;? plays at 3 p.m. Free. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Â&#x2021;%HDXWLIXOUHWLUHPHQWFRPPXQLW\ORFDWHGLQDQ DIIOXHQWVXEXUERI$XJXVWDLQ&ROXPELD&RXQW\ Â&#x2021;DVVLVWHGOLYLQJDSDUWPHQWVXLWHVWKHSHUIHFWVL]H WROHWWKHVWDIIDQGUHVLGHQWVJHWWRNQRZRQHDQRWKHUOLNHIDPLO\ Â&#x2021;3URPRWHVDVSLULWRIIDPLO\DQGVWULYHWRSURYLGHDKLJKTXDOLW\RIOLIH ZLWKLQWKHLUTXDLQWFRPPXQLW\WKURXJKDGHGLFDWHGWHDPDQGVWDII Â&#x2021;&RQYHQLHQWO\ORFDWHGQHDUPDMRUPHGLFDOIDFLOLWLHVVKRSSLQJDQGGLQLQJ

&DOO.HOOLH3XJKDW WRVFKHGXOH\RXUSHUVRQDOWRXUWRGD\ 353 N. Belair Rd | Evans M O R N I N G S I D E O F E V A N S . C O M

Outdoor Movie Night at Reed Creek Park, featuring â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Bugâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Life,â&#x20AC;? begins at dusk on Saturday, July 28, and will be preceded by a dance contest. Participants should bring blankets, beach chairs and snacks. $2 per person. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark. com. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Matchmakerâ&#x20AC;? shows Tuesday, July 31, at 7:30 p.m. at the Jabez Sanford Hardin Performing Arts Center as part of the Augusta Jewish Film Festival. $10. Visit augustajcc.org. Monday Movie Matinees show at 2 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Participants are invited to bring their own snacks. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Special Events

CSRA Community Outreach Summer Explosion 2012, feature a guest speaker, awards, lunch and activities for children, is Friday, July 27, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Homes Community Center on Service Street. Call 706-737-0242 or visit mercyministries.org. Italian Wines of Banfi Tasting Seminar with Avery Harris is Friday, July 27, at 7 p.m. at Wine World in North Augusta and features 10 wines as well as bread, cheese and appetizers. $15, pre-paid reservations required; $20 at the door, if space is available. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. Tour of the Billy Graham Library Complex and a visit to the Concord Mill Outlet with the Mothers 2 group is Saturday, July 28. The bus leaves for Charlotte, N.C., at 7 a.m. from the Lowes on Peach Orchard Road and leaves to return to Augusta at 6 p.m. $40 per person, meals not included. Pre-registration required. Call 706-631-0611 or 706-790-4479. Last Saturday in the Park, an interactive glimpse of life during the colonial period, is Saturday, July 28, beginning at 10:30 a.m. at North Augustaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Living History Park. Free. Call 803-279-7560 or visit colonialtimes.us. Town Hall Meeting, to raise awareness about youth alcohol abuse and prevention, is Tuesday, July 31, at the Headquarters Branch Library at 6 p.m. and features presenters including Superior Court Judge J. Wade Padgett, dinner by Fort Gordonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chef Reddâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cafe, back to school supplies and a chance to win a $50 Walmart gift card. Call 706-721-8418 or visit didyouknowfacts.net. Augusta Area Newcomers Club Welcome Coffee is Thursday, August 2, at 10 a.m. at Jones Creek Golf Course. Call 706-495-9064, 706-868-3668 or visit augustanewcomers.net. 30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

First Thursday at Midtown Market on Kings Way is Thursday, August 2, from 5-8 p.m. Featured artists are members of the Augusta Photo Festival Steering Committee and the cup charity is the Augusta Photo Festival 2012. Call 706-364-8479. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. The Augusta Market at the River is every Saturday through October 27 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead and features produce, arts and crafts and more for sale, as well as live music and entertainment. Call 706-627-0128 or visit theaugustamarket.com.

Health

Mobile Mammography Screenings, offered by appointment, are available July 26 at Lamar Medical Center, July 27 at Internal Medicine Partners on Peach Orchard Road, July 30 at Wills Memorial Hospital in Washington, July 31 at Barneys Pharmacy and August 1 at University Hospital. Appointments can be made from 8 a.m.-3 p.m. each day. Call 706-774-4145 or visit universityhealth.org. Big Brother/Big Sister, an infant care class for older siblings, is Thursday, July 26, at 6 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Childbirth Education 101 is Thursday, July 26, from 6-8:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Preregistration required. Call 706-481-7727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Bariatric Seminar is Thursday, July 26, at 6 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Weight Loss Surgery Seminar is Thursday, July 26, at 7 p.m. at GHSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cancer Center. Free, but preregistration required. Call 706-721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.org/weightloss. Infant CPR Class is Thursday, July 26, from 7-8:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth. org. Weekend Childbirth Education Class is Friday, July 27, from 6:30-9:30 p.m. and Saturday, July 28, from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Diabetes Seminar is Saturday, July 28, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Free, but preregistration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl. org. Cribs for Kids, a seminar on safe sleep environments for infants sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, is Thursday, August 2, at 5:45 p.m. at GHSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Medical Center. Families who can demonstrate a financial need will receive a portable crib, fitted sheet, sleep sac and pacifier for $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth. org/safekids. Center for Women Tour is Thursday, August 2, at 7 p.m. at Doctors Hospital. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital. net. Child Safety Seat Inspections and Car Seat Classes, sponsored by Safe Kids East Central, are offered by appointment at either the Safe Kids Office or MartinezColumbia Fire Rescue. Call 706-721-7606 or visit georgiahealth.org/safekids. 26JULY2012


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Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday from 11-11:45 a.m. at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta. com.

or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program will be held Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit georgiahealth.edu.

Education

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Free for members; $3 for nonmembers. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual ½-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. $10, members; $20, non-members. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Support

Insulin Pumpers Support Group meets Thursday, July 26, at 6 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-8683027 or visit universityhealth.org. AWAKE Sleep Apnea Support Group meets Thursday, July 26, at 7 p.m. at GHSU’s Children’s Medical Center. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-7210793 or visit georgiahealth.org. Multiple Sclerosis Support Group meets Monday, July 30, at 6 p.m. at the Augusta MS Center at GHSU’s Medical Center. Call 706-721-8664 or visit georgiahealth.org. Cancer Share, a support group for all those diagnosed with cancer, meets Monday, July 30, at 6 p.m. at University Hospital’s Breast Health Center. Free. Call 706-774-8308 or visit universityhealth.org. Spine Education and Support Group, a class for those preparing for spine surgery, is Wednesday, August 1, at 1 p.m. at University Hospital. Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org. Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. For more information, call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org. Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. For more information on meetings, as well as for pre-registration, call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org. Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support meets for group counseling. For more information, call 706-7245200 or visit universityhealth.org. Narcotics Anonymous, sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. Call 706-855-2419 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center (Aurora Pavilion), and features an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital (Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building). All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 26JULY2012

Moms Connection, a free support group for new mothers and their babies, meets Tuesdays from 1-2 p.m. at Georgia Health Sciences Building 1010C. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org. Beginners Access Computer Class is Thursday, July 26, from 10 a.m.-noon at the Headquarters Branch Library. Valid PINES card and pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org. SRS Public Tours, including an overview presentation, safety briefing, Savannah River Ecology Lab tour and general driving tour, are Thursday, July 26, from 12:30-4:30 p.m. Pre-registration required. Call 803952-8994 or email laurie.posey@srs.gov. Columbia County Back to School Festival is Saturday, July 28, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Evans Middle School and includes information on immunizations, beforeand after-school programs, college planning and more. Call 706-312-7192 or visit ccboe.net.

Get Ready for Back to School Upscale Children’s Consignment Boutique. Previously Loved & Brand New Items in Excellent Condition! Trunk Show, Top Brand Names & Custom Made Items (and of course anything smocked!) Baby-Tween-Maternity Boy/Girl Furniture, Bedding, Accessories & Everything In Between. Exquisite Hand Made NEW Christening Gowns, Baby Dresses, Diaper Sets & Graduation Dresses Finest Quality...A MUST SEE! Room Decor/Paintings Accepting New Consignors! www.hissyfitsaugusta.com 1417 Monte Sano Avenue (Across from St. Mary's Church) 706-736-4006/ 706-394-4040

Summer hours: Tuesday - Saturday | 10am-3pm Regular hours: Tuesday - Saturday | 10am-5pm (Start end of August)

Let’s Talk: Self-Esteem, a free seminar for women led by Tara Tanksley Stallings, is Wednesday, August 1, at 6 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. 27th Annual SEED, The Ruth Patrick Science Education Center’s Science Education Enrichment Day, is now accepting exhibit proposals from CSRA organizations who want to present the fun and excitement of science through hands-on, interactive exhibits, performances, demonstrations and entertainment. This year’s theme is Ignite Your Mind. Call 803-641-3474 or visit http:// rpsec.usca.edu/SEED/. Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by ASU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Mondays-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit aug.edu. GED classes meet weekly at the Kroc Center. Preregistration required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Work Networking Group is held each Monday from 8:30-10 a.m. at Grace United Methodist Church in North Augusta. A networking and informational meeting for anyone looking for a job, the group meets in room 206 of the Asbury Building and is facilitated by career and business professionals. Call 803-279-7525 or email doctor@pritchardgroup.com. GED classes are offered every Monday and Thursday at 6 p.m. and every Monday-Thursday at 9:30 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). PINES library card required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. ESL classes are offered every Wednesday at 6 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library (Third Floor Writing Lab). Pre-registration required. Call Charles Garrick at 803-279-3363 or visit ecgrl.org. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

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Benefits

Miracle Treat Day is Thursday, July 26, at four Dairy Queen locations in the Augusta area, including Central Avenue, Washington Road, Peach Orchard Road and Wrightsboro Road. Proceeds will benefit GHSUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Medical Center, the local Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Miracle Network hospital. Call 706-721-4004 or visit georgiahealth.org/miracletreat. Stuff the Bus, in which participants donate school supplies, is Friday, July 27, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Kroc Center and Saturday, July 28, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Walmart in Waynesboro. Call 706-724-5544 or visit uwcsra.org. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item, which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio. com.

Sports-Outdoors

The Augusta GreenJackets play the Hickory Crawdads Friday-Saturday, July 27-28, at 7:05 p.m. and Sunday, July 29, at 5:35 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Greenville Drive Thursday-Friday, July 12-13, at 7:05 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. $7-$11. Call 706-7367889 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com. Grass Roots Series 10K is Saturday, July 28, at 7:30 a.m. at Blanchard Woods Park. $12 per race in advance; race-day registration also available. Call 706-731-7914, email award4@aug.edu or visit codehugger.com/runrunrun/grassroots.pdf. Savannah National Wildlife Refuge, S.C., Field Trip, hosted by the Augusta Aiken Audubon Society, is Saturday, July 28, meeting at 9 a.m. at the entrance to the Laurel Hill wildlife drive. Participants will drive the loop, hike, eat packed lunches and more. Visit

augustaaikenaudubon.org/fieldtrips.html. The Soul City Sirens are currently looking for new skaters and invite women of the CSRA to Redwing Rollerway Monday, August 13, at 7 p.m. to their mid-season recruitment meeting. There is no cost or obligation and men are also encouraged to attend because the group is also looking for referees and volunteers. Email training@soulcitysirens.com. Free Canal Boat Tours are available to teachers throughout the month of July, Teacher Appreciation Month. The daily tours last about an hour and depart at 9, 10:15 and 11:30 a.m., as well as 1:30 p.m. and include free admission to the Canal Interpretive Center Reservations suggested. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4, or visit augustacanal.com. Wii Bowling for Adults is every Monday in July at 6 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. $35 a month, members; $50 a month, non-members. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Wheelchair Tennis is each Monday at 6 p.m., weather permitting, at the Club at Raeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or visit alsalley@ wrh.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered Monday-Saturday at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., and Sunday at 1:30, 3 and 4:30 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-7228878.

Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com.

Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net.

Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Branch Library meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Zumba with Sohailla is every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-4216168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com. Saturday Historic Trolley Tours are Saturdays from 1:30-3:15 p.m. at the Augusta Museum of History. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. $12. Call 706-724-4067 or visit augustamuseum.org.

The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week

Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. For more information, visit augustastriders.com. Kroc Trotters Running Group meets Tuesdays at 6:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free for members. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Hott Shott Disc Golf is each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf, 863 Broad Street, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/ hott-shott.

Kids

Pond Exploration, an outdoor class for those ages 5 and up, who must be accompanied by an adult, is Thursday, July 26, at 10 a.m. at Reed Creek Park. Free, members; $2 per child, non-members. Pre-registration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark. com. Summer Reading Parent and Guardian Appreciation: Tea and Cookies Drop In is Thursday, July 26, at 11:30

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a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-7366244 or visit ecgrl.org.

thefamilyy.org.

706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Death by Chocolate YA Program is Thursday, July 26, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Parent’s Night Out for Children of Deployed Soldiers at the Marshall Family Y is Saturday, July 28, from 6-9:30 p.m. For those ages 2-12 years. Free, but preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Splashdown at North Augusta’s Nancy Carson Library, with water provided by the North Augusta Fire Department, is Friday, July 27, at 11 a.m. Participants should bring their towels and sunscreen. Call 803-2795767 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Parent’s Night Out at the Wilson Family Y and the Family Y of Augusta South are Saturday, July 28, from 6-9:30 p.m. For those ages 2-12 years, the event is $12 for members and $20 for non-members. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

In My Backyard shows Saturdays in July at 8 p.m. and Digistar Laser Fantasy shows Saturdays in July at 9 p.m. at the DuPont Planetarium in Aiken. Digistar shows are $5.50, adults; $4.50, seniors; $3.50, 4K-12the grade students; $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. General shows are $4.50, adults; $3.50, seniors; $2.50, 4K-12th grade students; and $1, USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-641-3654 or visit http://rpsec.usca.edu/planetarium.

Camp Be Your Best, fun, interactive experience for girls ages 11-18 hosted by Cher’s Sisters Only Club, is Saturday, July 28, from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. in Augusta. It includes hands-on activities, guest speakers, and all meals. Visit 963kissfm.com.

On Being a Girl, a class on puberty designed for girls ages 9-12 with their mothers, female friends or relatives, is Tuesday, July 31, from 6-9 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. $10. Pre-registration required. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Introduction to Signing with Little Ones Workshop, a two-hour event in which participants will learn the hows and whys of signing with children as well as more than 35 signs, is Saturday, July 28, from 9-11 a.m. at the Innovative Workspace. Children 3 and under are welcome. $30 per family, with preregistration required. Call 831-869-9828 or visit flyingfingersacademy.com.

American Red Cross Babysitter’s Training, for students ages 11-15, is Thursday, August 2, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Center. $30; pre-registration required. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional. com.

Author Laurel Snyder visits the Headquarters Branch Library on Saturday, July 28, at 10:30 a.m. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Author Laurel Snyder visits the Friedman Branch Library on Saturday, July 28, at 2:30 p.m. Call 706736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Parent’s Night Out at the Marshall Family Y is Saturday, July 28, from 6-9:30 p.m. For those ages 2-12 years, the event is $12 for members and $20 for non-members. Pre-registration required. Visit

26JULY2012

What’s in the Box? Summer Fun at the Beach is a kids program on Thursday, August 2, at 10 a.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Participants will view painting and create a sculpture. Free, museum members and parents; $4, non-members. Pre-registration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Kroc Tots Activity Hour, featuring story time, crafts and more, is every Friday at 9 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Free Junior Fitness Class, for those ages 7-12, meets Sundays at 3 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays at 5:30 p.m. and Saturdays at 9 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Call

olds; and Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 11 a.m. for preschoolers. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Thursday at 4 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl. org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org.

Zumbatonic, a Zumba class for kids, meets Wednesdays at 4:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Story Time is every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must preregister. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. at Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for Pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Story Time at the Columbia County Library is each Tuesday at 11 a.m. for those under 2; Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. for 2-year-

Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at Nor th Augusta Branch Library.

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Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org.

Seniors

Golden Agers meets Mondays from 9 a.m.-noon at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta. org. Senior Computer Classes meet weekly at the Kroc Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Medicare and You is a program that meets every Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.3:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc. gov. Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Yoga I and II are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

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Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

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Hobbies

Genealogy Class meets every Thursday at 1 p.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Limited to the first 15 students. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Introduction to Crochet Class meets every Monday in August from 4:30-6:30 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

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Learn How to Crochet, a Lunch & Learn Series, meets every Tuesday in August from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library and participants will learn how to make a winter scarf. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2604 or visit ecgrl.org.

Spiritual

Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Volunteers

The Morris Museum of Art is currently accepting applications for the 2012 new docent class for the 12-session training program that begins in September. Candidates must commit to one year of service following the training and no prior experience is required. Call 706-828-3865 for more information and an application. Visit themorris.org. Hospice Care of Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@ msa-corp.com.

Elsewhere

Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org. If you would like to see your organizationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Food, Faith and Fitness, a womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s group, meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-3645762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

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Morning Manna, a community devotion time, meets Wednesdays at 11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

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26JULY2012


V23|NO30

Worst Case Scenario

What’s it going to be like living with a couple of teenagers? Last week, I had the pleasure of traveling with 12 kids. It was different than traveling with my own. These were teenagers. Also, since I’m not their mom, none of them talked back a single time. We weren’t traveling as leaders of the group. We were more like herders. They were all assigned a number that was theirs for the week. Anytime we went anywhere, we had them count off. We waited to hear every number, in order, from one to 12. Only once was a number skipped, but it was just because a kid was sick and resting on the bus. Being with that many kids (and only three adults) made me think. I can’t imagine ever having so many kids that the adults were outnumbered. We always thought we’d have three or four kids. I’m fully aware of the simplicity of two. I also thought about what it’s going to be like actually living with teenagers. The kids I was charged with keeping track of are good kids. Their parents may not always think so, but they were well behaved for us. Besides, I got to send them home at the end of the week. Now, I have my ideas of how things will go when The Boy and The Girl hit the teen years, but I’m pretty sure those of you who actually have teenagers are laughing at the thought. Ideas? I probably have no idea. You see, being 16 now is totally different than being 16 in 1993. No one had email, and the few cell phones that did exist were in a big black bag and you couldn’t take them out of your car. We couldn’t call our friends unless we stuck a quarter in a pay phone. A curfew was set, and unless you could find a blue phone booth, you simply had to be home. Have you heard of this thing called Family Map? If you’re a kid, and your parents don’t have it yet, I’m sorry to put any ideas in their heads. Anyway, this thing is crazy. At any time, you can locate any member of the family who’s on your cell phone plan. You can tell if the car is moving or still. I’m sure it’s great for parents, but is it too much? Is it like reading your kid’s diary, or is it just parenting in the information age? I’m torn. I’m friends with several people who’ve told me that having a child that’s of driving age is terrifying. Every time the phone rings, you must wonder if something bad has happened. As long as the kid is holding their own cell phone, Family Map must eliminate some of that worry. If you know where your kid is all the time, they can’t really get into trouble, right? Ha. Fat chance. I guess the peace of mind is worth it, though. So how much leeway do you give them? I’m all for throwing them a rope and giving them choices. They can use the rope for good or hang themselves, but it’s their choice. Their mistake to make. However, if we can keep them away from trouble and out of harm’s way, the resulting situation is definitely preferable. With Facebook, email, texting and all of the iPhone apps that I know nothing about, are they allowed privacy? Do we demand to

26JULY2012

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

know their passwords? I mean, I’ve seen Dateline. People get in trouble on the internet. There are scary people out there. I can’t even imagine the trouble we’ll have with double standards in our house, seeing that we have a boy and a girl. Do you give boys more freedom, or is it a different kind of freedom? With boys, you worry about one boy. With girls, you have to worry about every boy in Augusta (and beyond). I’m pretty sure I can hear The Man polishing his shotgun as we speak. There are clearly a few unanswered questions. They may never be answered, and if they are, I’ll bet the results will be completely unexpected. Nothing will go as planned, and the plans I do have will change daily, depending on our kids’ moods. I’m not looking forward to having two kids who like me just fine half the time, while they absolutely hate me the other half. I am looking forward to seeing what type of people they become. Life is already much more interesting as they grow up. The good news is they still like me. They still want to snuggle with me and hold my hand. I know the password for their iTouch purchases — they don’t. Family Map isn’t anything we need yet. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ll probably even use it when they’re out driving around. Is it mean to microchip them, too?

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 35


V23|NO30

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Kicking It Old School Please Pass the Floppy

So the call came last Saturday night. “I rebooted my server and it’s not coming back up. I’m getting a blue screen that says I should contact my administrator — That’s you, right?” Yep. That’s me.

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Bone in fried catfish over blue cheese grits and salad $6.99 *din *d ine in only

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French Market Grille West 36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

As it turns out, it wasn’t as bad as it first sounded. We had received an alert earlier in the week about a disk inconsistency, and it was during a scan of the disk that the system crashed. A pretty easy scenario actually — boot to the recovery console, run chkdsk and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Oh, but did I mention that it was a 2003 Windows Server with a SCSI RAID? Now I know that only about three or four people out there fully appreciate that last line. Long story short, when booting to recovery on older servers, it’s commonplace that device drivers are added by the technician during the process. No big deal there. However, Windows Server 2003 looks in only one place for these drivers, the A: drive. So here I am in the wee hours of Sunday morning thinking, “Where the heck am I going to find a floppy drive?” Fortunately, our company has Matthew and Keith. Both of them have been working here for over 20 years, and I don’t believe I have ever seen either of them throw away anything. While the clutter drives me crazy at times, on this night I was somewhat amused by the fact that I knew we had one. But where? It would be an exaggeration to say that I just reached up in the cabinet and pulled out a floppy drive and formatted floppy disks, but it’s not entirely inaccurate either. Less than an hour later, I was sitting in the recovery console letting chkdsk do its thing. Riding Through Mayberry — The past month saw the loss of one of the all-time TV greats. Andy Griffith made his name being the honest, standup lawman on The Andy Griffith Show. He built his reputation by doing the right thing and being friendly to strangers. It’s a reputation much different than you find from the public safety department of poor little Oliver, Georgia. Oliver is a small city in the southern-most tip of Screven County. The city itself has a total area of 0.9 square miles with no buildings or other significant structures. As a matter of fact, all that is in poor little Oliver, Georgia, is a fourway stop with a blinking caution light. In most communities, a blinking caution light would be an indication of potential danger. In poor little Oliver, Georgia, however, this blinking light is a significant source of income for the county. My family found this out last weekend as they drove the back roads from Savannah coming home from a family reunion. As they approached the city center of poor little Oliver, Georgia, the speed limit dropped suddenly from 55 to 45 to 35. My mother, who has never gotten a ticket in a whole bunch of years driving (I’m not allowed to say how many), and who I very much doubt posed any danger to the residents of poor little Oliver, Georgia, became the target of an all-points bulletin. Fifteen minutes and almost $400 later, the kind officer thanked us for visiting his quaint town. So you may ask, “You mom got caught in a good ‘ole country speed trap… so what?” Well, it turns out we should have known better. On the Internet, poor little Oliver, Georgia, is a famous place. Quoting from Wikipedia: “The city is known for being a speed trap with outrageous speeding fines. Do not drive through the town unless you want a ticket of 55 in a 35 and a fine of $375!” So the county that counts among its residents the most decorated Georgian war hero of World War II now garners international fame for its predatory law enforcement. If anyone knows any members of the Screven County Chamber of Commerce, you might want to let them know that the Internet is telling everyone to stay away! Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

26JULY2012


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40 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

26JULY2012


V23|NO30

26JULY2012

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 41


V23|NO30

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Ashynn Miles and Tyler Russell with Diesel and Decklan Crosby at the Augusta Southern National’s Night of Fire at the Augusta Common.

SIGHTINGS

Lisa and Dayton Sherrouse with Cindy Picher at the Augusta Southern National’s Night of Fire at the Augusta Common.

Cassie Hall, Troy Taylor and Taylor Croft at the Augusta Southern Nationals at the Riverfront Marina.

SIGHTINGS

Casey and Amber Crawley with Lacey Whitton and Matt Eley at the Charlie Daniels concert at Evans Towne Center Park.

Columbia County Sheriff’s Deputy Jim DiArenzo and Charlie Daniels at Evans Towne Center Park.

SIGHTINGS

Scott Penland, Brittany Barden, Ashlyn Aycock and Black Brown at Stillwater Tap Room.

42 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Artist Leonard “PorkChop” Zimmerman, Meredith Monroe and Phillip Ellis at the Soul Bar.

Ron Hummel, Cheryl Skinner and Robyn Hummel at the Charlie Daniels concert at Evans Towne Center Park.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Kevin and Amy Kosh with Tina and Jason Hawes at the Augusta Southern Nationals at the Riverfront Marina.

26JULY2012


V23|NO30

THE

EIGHT

BOX TOPS

The Dark Knight rises above Friday’s massacre to grab the third best opening weekend of all time. RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

$160,887,295

$160,887,295

1

-

2

ICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT

$20,416,978

$88,840,284

2

1

3

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

$10,887,111

$228,611,425

3

2

4

TED

$10,011,610

$180,431,425

4

3

5

BRAVE

$6,024,987

$208,774,173

5

4

“The Dark Knight Rises”

SAMEIFLING

Can you watch it without thinking of Aurora? Probably not. About a third of the way into “The Dark Knight Rises,” the villain Bane and his henchmen storm a stock exchange. To breach security, Bane, a human with the physique of a gorilla, clobbers and shoots some guards. Upon entering the trading floor itself, he and his goons train assault rifles and handguns on traders and blast them indiscriminately. If you see this film in a theater, this is the point where your eyes will dart to the lit exit signs that flank the screen. And you’ll imagine what it was like for the folks in a theater in Colorado when a maniac armed with an assault rifle and handguns stalked in and began blasting them indiscriminately. For all the mass shootings in the bloody recent history of America, the greatest country in the world where a three-month-old baby can get shot to death during a superhero movie, this massacre in Aurora may be the first to ride mass media in quite this fashion. The shooter did not conscript news media in the way that the 9/11 hijackers did. They implicitly goaded cable news networks to re-run images of murder so that instead of a few thousand people seeing a terrorist act in Manhattan, we all became witnesses. That’s how terror works, of course. Killing 3,000 people is not the point; the explosive anger, fear and grief of 300 million is. When in those dark weeks after 9/11 people in flyover America repeated earnestly that “We are all New Yorkers,” it was more than symbolic. We all had experienced, vicariously, the horror bearing witness to slaughter. Who knows if this James Holmes fellow turns out to be so coldly rational as al Qaeda, which succeeded in igniting multiple wars and steering the United States, one of the freest countries in North America, toward becoming a cowering surveillance state. Barring some revelation of design, we’ll merely evoke Brad Pitt’s lines from “Se7en” when addressing this fellow Holmes: “When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you’re insane? Maybe you’re just sitting around, reading ‘Guns and Ammo,’ masturbating in your own feces — do you just stop and go, ‘Wow! It is amazing how f***ing crazy I really am!’?” He’s no messiah. He’s a movie of the week, at best. But what Holmes has done, whether he meant to or not, is to baptize this particular Batman movie in anger and fear and grief. Whenever we watch television or attend a concert or a play or — especially — watch a movie in a theater, we pay for the pleasure of sharing a hallucination with people around us and many others around the world. The most beloved films are those which lull us into a hallucination so vivid and real that our rational senses do not pull us out until it finishes. Filmmakers who accomplish this are revered as geniuses and visionaries. Audience members who

26JULY2012

whisper or open their glowing phones during this experience are scorned. And the result is one that is unique to each film. Where you see “The Dark Knight Rises” is no more consequential than where you drink a can of Coke. The hallucination, like the soda, is fungible. As we share the hallucination on a mass scale, so too do we share such a massive disruption to it as occurred in Aurora. Nightclub fires make us more aware of emergency exits in dark, crowded rooms. Cruise ship disasters prompt us to make mental note of lifeboats. Seventy-one people got plugged in a public theater as they watched “The Dark Knight Rises” and so now anyone who goes to see “The Dark Knight Rises” in a public theater is condemned to feel that twinge of awareness. We hold our breath when driving past graveyards to acknowledge exactly this mortal sensation — there but for the grace of God. At nearly three hours, “The Dark Knight Rises” requires that you breathe. To attend is to visit a crime scene and to attend a hallucination already punctured. No movie is strong enough to overcome that association, at least not yet, and not when it features scenes that mirror the shared collective vision we’ve all had in recent days: trying to imagine how we would clamber out of a crowded theater panic with children in arm and spouse at hand while a man shot and shot and shot and shot and shot and shot.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 43


OPENING FRIDAY, JULY 27

V23|NO30

COMEDY

“The Watch,” rated R, starring Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill. Yes, this is a movie about bumbling members of a Neighborhood Watch group. It seemed particularly ill timed, considering the Trayvon Martin case, but then we discovered there are aliens involved. That’s right, aliens, so awkwardness averted. Well, nearly: Jonah Hill is in it, so there will still be some awkwardness.

DRAMA

“Step Up Revolution,” rated PG-13, starring Peter Gallagher, Kathryn McCormick. This landing spot for “So You Think You Can Dance” alum, including Augusta’s McCormick, is sure to be short on plot and acting. For those into this series, it hardly matters, though.

This 2006 movie starring Zach Braff (Scrubs’ J.D.) as Michael is actually based on the 2001 Italian comedy-drama “L’ultimo bacio,” but “The Last Kiss” dumbs it down for us Americans. Michael tells us, “Jenna and I met three years ago. She’s smart, she’s beautiful, she makes me laugh. If you absolutely have to become an adult and all that comes with it, this is the kind of woman you wanna do it with… right?” Not so fast — “The Last

WERECOMMEND

“The Last Kiss”

Kiss” isn’t such a simple story, and maybe it lost something in the American version. “The Last Kiss” classification of “comedy” is a little confusing. Comedies don’t usually include worry and stress as a reaction, but maybe that’s how they do things in Italy. Film critic Roger Ebert said that a problem with the movie is that it has no idea if it is serious or not. After a bit of a bump in the road, so to speak, Michael tells Jenna’s father, played by Tom Wilkinson, that he’ll do anything to get Jenna back. Her father says. “Well it’s very simple… do whatever it takes. You can’t fail if you don’t give up.” Wise words. Now that’s dedication. — Laura Perry

44 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

26JULY2012


V23|NO30

26JULY2012

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 45


V23|NO30

Always in Style

AMYCHRISTIAN

TGI Friday’s offers taste and affordability

We may be in the middle of the dog days of summer, but the slow pace of the unbearably hot days doesn’t seem to be having much of an impact at TGI Friday’s. “This has been a good summer; we’ve been staying pretty busy,” says Kitchen Manager Perry Steele. “Peach Jam last week was pretty crazy. I don’t know if it was because it was at the same time as the [Southern National] boat races, but it was a pretty crazy time around here.” It says a lot about a restaurant that, 20 years after opening, it is still able to pack in the customers. Remaining in the same location on Washington Road as when it opened in the early 1990s, TGI Friday’s is a locally owned franchise that prides itself on a fun family atmosphere and a consistency in quality that has a lot to do with the longevity of the staff. Several of the restaurant’s employees have worked there for more than a decade. And that includes Steele. “I’ve worked here for 12 and a half years and started as a 19-year-old,” he said. “It’s unusual, but it’s the only restaurant I know.” Now as kitchen manager, Steele’s days begin early. Even though the restaurant opens for lunch at 11 a.m., he and his staff are usually in by 7 or 8 a.m. preparing for the rest of the day. And that preparation usually doesn’t stop once the restaurant opens. “There are so many things you have to make in preparation,” he says. “Honestly, people are still prepping after the lunch rush and into the afternoon. There’s a lot of stuff you have to make.” 46 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Because Friday’s likes to change its menu to reflect the changing seasons, some of the food Steele and his staff find themselves preparing now includes lighter fare like the popular Strawberry Fields Salad. “We always bring back that salad,” he said. And it’s no wonder. With balsamic vinegar marinated strawberries, parmesan and goat cheeses and glazed pecans over mixed greens with balsamic vinaigrette, it’s light and filling at the same time, especially if customers choose to add grilled balsamic chicken. Steele, however, says that some of the most popular items on the Friday’s menu are also the most affordable. Many are included in one of the restaurant’s longest-running specials, the Pick 2 for $10 or Pick 3 for $12.99. “For the Pick 2 for $10, you get an entrée and then your choice of a starter or a dessert,” he explained. “But the Pick 3, which includes a starter and a dessert, is only $3 more, so why would you not do that?” The Pick 3 also has a slightly more decadent option that is $16.99. It includes many of the same menu items but with the addition of steak and seafood entrées. Customers don’t have to splurge to enjoy many of Friday’s most popular dishes, however. Included in the $12.99 Pick 3 are starters like their Spinach Florentine Flatbread, Pan-Seared Pot Stickers and White Cheddar Spicy Beef Queso. And, of course, their Crispy Fried Green Beans. “People love the green beans,” Steele said. Entrées include Bruschetta Chicken Pasta, the Black Angus Cheeseburger, Dragonfire Chicken

and the Tennessee BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich. It’s the dessert choices, however, where Steele says customers can splurge without paying a lot. One of his favorite menu items, the Vanilla Bean Cheesecake, is included in the special. “That’s the best cheesecake I’ve ever had,” he said. “It’s dense and it’s got whipped cream frosting and chocolate shavings on top. Just altogether it’s very good.” A more recent addition, also included on the special menu, takes advantage of a recent trend. The Salted Caramel Cake is served with vanilla ice cream. “It’s got the salty-sweet thing going on that’s all the rage right now,” he explained. “I’m in love with it.” And, of course, along with great food at reasonable prices, Friday’s also prides itself on its bar area, with generous Happy Hours from 4-7 p.m. and 9 p.m.close every day. Specials include $5 appetizers; $2 Budweiser and Bud Light bottles; $3 Long Island Ice Teas, House Margaritas and Absoluts; $4 glasses of house wine; and $5 pitchers of Bud Light, Michelob Ultra and Yuengling. 26JULY2012


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Always a popular spot, the bar is especially lively during Wednesday night trivia, which includes cash and other prizes. “We usually have a pretty good crowd,” he said. “Just like anything else, it has its

slower nights and then there are times when it’s overflowing.” Also a popular day is Saturday, when military personnel receive 25 percent off instead of the 10 percent they receive other days. All they have to do is be in uniform or show their military ID. Friday’s may be fun and affordable, but customers wouldn’t keep coming back — for 20 years, no less — if the food wasn’t good. “That’s one thing that Friday’s is especially good at,” Steele agreed, “is finding a way to get the best quality out of the food that we’re preparing.” TGI Friday’s 2800 Washington Road, Augusta Sunday-Thursday, 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 11 a.m.midnight 706-736-8888 tgifridaysaugusta.com

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The 30th Olympiad

The Olympics head to the land of Wimbledon, Wembley, lifts and lorries “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players,” as William Shakespeare so eloquently put it in his play “As You Like It.” And while you’re sure to be overwrought with quotes from the Bard of Avon over the course of the 17-day Olympic Games, they will all perfectly capture the tone and personality of a fascinating city hosting the Games for a record third time. It’s been four years in the making, and the time is finally here. Things kick off with the opening ceremony, which has become the springboard for the entire Games. “Slumdog Millionaire” director Danny Boyle has been chosen to lead the ceremony, and much like when he took $15 million and turned it into an $141-plus million grossing masterpiece, he’ll have to work with about a third of the budget that was available for the Beijing Games in ’08. For all the athletes who will represent their countries in London, they are all linked by their unity of purpose. Each one putting their life on hold for four years in dogmatic pursuit of athletic immortality, a golden medallion and knowing all the words to the song that’s played while standing at the apex of the podium. While the finish to the Beijing Olympics set the bar to unprecedented levels and reignited our national fandom for such sports as track and field, swimming and women’s soccer, the stories that this year’s group of athletes provide is no less impressive nor stunning. It’s a year for firsts at the Olympics in London in several ways. South Africa’s Oscar Pistorius will become the Olympics’ first double-amputee athlete when he competes in the 400 meters and the 4x400 relay. Also, in a story that comes during the 40th year anniversary of Title IX, which helped ban sex discrimination in federally funded schools and colleges and helped champion gender equality in sports, the countries of Brunei, Qatar and Saudi Arabia are sending female athletes to compete for the first time ever. The U.S. and London also share other distinct parallels in events that have attempted to sink hopes and commandeer the peace that accompanies normal, everyday life. Both are

faced with a deflated economy, with riots even manifesting themselves through the outrage in London last August, but most harrowing are the acts of senseless violence that have occurred within both locales, most recently in Aurora, Colo., as a coward shot up a Dark Knight movie premiere killing 12 people as of this writing, and injuring dozens more. For London, their chilling moment came on July 7, 2005. It was the morning after they were awarded the bid for the Olympics when four Islamic suicide bombers scrambled through multiple segments of the local transit system, detonated four bombs, killed 52 people, as well as themselves, and injured over 700 more. The Olympics come at no better time. We’re in need of something positive to cheer for to help with the ongoing grieving process. A bridge towards closure that we’re not sure will ever get to, but it does help traverse that potholed path. And that’s for both of us. Just as the Olympics serve as a platform for the world’s best to compete against each other with everyone watching, they also serve as an instrument of the symbolic change that’s happening all around us. I hope everyone is watching.

MATTLANE is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-TalkSports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @Mattlane28.

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T H E

METRO SPIRITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S amber@themetrospirit.com PET PAGE! The Dog Days of Summer by Beverly Hixon

Webster defines â&#x20AC;&#x153;dog daysâ&#x20AC;? asâ&#x20AC;Ś 1. The period between early July and early September when the hot sultry weather of summer usually occurs in the northern hemisphere; 2. A period of stagnation or inactivity. Tell us something we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know, huh? Every time we open our front door we are reminded that it is summertime in the South â&#x20AC;&#x201D; hot, humid, muggy, miserable summer. We all love spending time during the warmer days outdoors with our friends and family, but it is so important to remember that some activities can be dangerous for our pets. Special Events Augusta Humane Society offers obedience classes twice The following are tips on how to keep those HDFK\HDUÂŹ)RUPRUHLQIRUPDWLRQFDOO furry family members cool at this hottest time of the year: Ongoing Adoption Events: Visit the Vet â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Have PETCO your pet tested for 4209 Washington Road, Evans heartworms and make Saturdays, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Sundays, 1-4 p.m. sure that they are on a heartworm preventive PetSmart every month. Place 225 Robert C. Daniel Parkway, Augusta your pet on a safe flea Saturdays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and tick control program. Summer Style â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Tractor Supply Giving your dog a %REE\-RQHV([SUHVVZD\QH[WWR6DP¡V&OXE lightweight summer Saturdays and Sundays from 1-4 p.m. haircut helps prevent overheating. Shave down to a one-inch length, never to the skin, so your dog still has some protection from the sun. A Shady Spot â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Pets can get dehydrated quickly, so give them plenty of fresh, clean water when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hot outdoors. Make sure they have a shady spot that gets them out of the sun. When it is extremely hot, keep them indoors! No Parking! â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Never leave your animals alone in a parked vehicle. On a hot day, a car can become a furnace in no time even with the windows open. This could lead to a fatal heatstroke! Street Smarts â&#x20AC;&#x201D; When the temperature is very high, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let your dog linger on hot asphalt. Being so close to the ground, you poochâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body can heat up quickly and sensitive paw pads can burn. Keep walks during these times to a minimum. Pool Safety â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave your pet unsupervised around a pool â&#x20AC;&#x201D; not all dogs are good swimmers! Introduce your pets to water gradually and make sure they wear flotation devices when on boats. Rinse your dog off after swimming to remove chlorine or salt from his fur. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let him drink pool water which is full of chemicals. Know the Warning Signs â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Symptoms of overheating in pets include excessive panting or difficulty breathing, increased heart and respiratory rate, drooling, mild weakness, stupor or even collapse. They can also include seizures, bloody diarrhea and vomit, along with an elevated body temperature of over 104 degrees. Certain species such as Pugs and Persian cats, both of which have flat faces, are more susceptible to heat stroke. Older pets should be kept indoors in the air conditioning. Paying attention to your pet could save his or her life! Happy

Available at Augusta-Richmond County Animal Services 5IKS4IVMÂ&#x152;! 


WHINE

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

LINE Hey, Metro, maybe you can use an even smaller font for the Whine Line page…. how’s this for you?

Eagerly anticipating Rhodes Aurora shooting tirade. Wonder how long into the show it will be before the now famous “I wheel keel yew” line stumbles out of his mouth. Has anyone else noticed since nobama lied his way into office that truth is almost non-existent-that evil has overcome godliness-that lying is common place and handouts are so called free, but we as taxpayers know that this is a falsehood, so will the majority join me to ensure that nobama has to go come Tuesday november 6,2012 To the person whining about the garden in the middle of Broad St We couldnt

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get all the shell casings and cigarette butts to bloom so we planted a garden

i always enjoyed josh ruffins funky column until he revealed his uninformed youthful stupidity in his romney attack ad,i hope the check obama gave him bounces.save america from josh ruffins dumbness! Georgia Ar ts and Sciences University GAS U. Are you serious? What in the devil are the head honchos at The Broad Street Temple thinking about when they reassign a principal who’s turning around a high school with a recent history of shameful underperformance? Does anyone else think that “speaking Truth to power” is a most dangerous exercise when the “power” is the corrupt, ineffective RCBOE and its effete puppet-masters? Honesty in politics is critical to me . I live in the 12 th district and if goose would be honest and come out of the closet I could vote for him!

I think you should hire me to write whines. I could fill this page up weekly. Augusta-Richmond County minus Columbia County equals the great modern stone age; along with its cavemen leaders. Another century from now Augusta-Richmond County might catch up with Columbia County. Hey Insider! Didn’t your mother tell you never pick on a girl? Leave Lori Davis alone...She’s only doing the work most media in this town are too lazy to do.... WTF....OH, I see the “New Christians” can not stop at the stop sign on their proper ty, cut me off and it’s okay. It’s their “New Christianity” that let’s them break the laws and be okay with it. Sorry, don’t mind the person with the right of way I must not be as Christian as you are. Or do you just ask for forgiveness everytime? And just keep doing it? Please explain....

Austin Rhodes seems to have put the kiss of death on Scott Peebles, he told the world that Mike Hunt was not qualified and if you voted for him the depar tment would fall apar t. he was wrong The Augusta Southern Nationals Drag Boat Race was recently touted as the 2nd event to the Masters in bringing in two million in revenue to the community. In it’s heyday family oriented people in the area would attend to enjoy the racing of around 125 boats. Today, the respectable families have left and about 60 boats showed up this year. After operational costs of supplies, etc. have been paid out of the proceeds, bow big of a check is cut for the Area 9 Augusta Special Olympics Charity. Is it more than the $3,000 check two years ago? The charity depends on this check as their main revenue to operate their non-profit yearly. Too bad the thousands of patrons who pop $3 down for a beer (many times all day), can’t reach into their pocket for $1 to put in a large envelope to send to the charity official presenter.

                

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Metro Spirit 07.26.2012