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Monday, July 25th | Augusta Comfort Suites, 2911 Riverwest Drive

whine line

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- tom tomorrow

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- thumbs up, thumbs down

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insider

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- feature

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- calendar

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- augusta tek

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- the8

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- art45

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- jenny is wright

31

- nytimes crossword

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- free will astrology

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- crisp

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- eardrum

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- after dark

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Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? Call 706-496-2535 or 706-373-3636 Writer Eric Johnson eric@themetrospirit.com

Production Director Amy Christian amy@themetrospirit.com

Account Executive Account Executive Jed Capuy Brenda Carter brenda@themetrospirit.com jed@themetrospirit.com

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Lead Designer Gabriel Vega gabe@themetrospirit.com Publisher’s Assistant Jenn Poole jennifer@themetrospirit.com

Publisher-Sales Manager Joe White joe@themetrospirit.com INTERNS Jordan White design

Nate Lambert editorial

Geetu Vailoor editorial

cover design

KRUHU kruhu.com Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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whineLINE Cotsco is breaking ground, Buffalo Wild Wings is breaking ground....can’t wait to see what else is next....why people thinks Augusta sucks I don’t know The truth has finally been revealed. Fox News is a propaganda tool for the Republican Party. I hope Rupert Murdock gets rewarded for every life he has ruined. Karma is a B...h Your writers and editor need to learn how to spell. In the Carolina dogs story the writer misspelled Bering Strait (it was spelled Bearing Strait in the article). In the Sally Ann K story I found two errors. Hordes refers to large amounts of items or people. Hoarding is the accumulation of stuff. It’s Pensacola, not Pensicola. just wanted to say hi to all thoes hiring illedals this is for that painting company that hires mostly and call them contractors you know who you are you will get caught.the Holliday is yours.davis will end how about this free clinic MCG has set up downtown for illegal latinos I went as a legal us born to see about it and was told it was for illgals only . so now they get free health care too. thank you M.C.G. for your support to legal citizens across Georgia

whineline@themetrospirit.com

heavier side, preferably close to 300lbs. Where can I find my hefty hideaway in Augusta? Austin Rhodes has already asked Lori Davis to host his show at the end of the month. So much for what the Insider knows. After over a decade of Service and a police brutality rate at its highest in decades, maybe old Ronnie should retire. There is plenty of room for a homless tent city on our Summerville neighborhoods’ Historic Bon Air grounds. It is our Christian duty to extend mercy and charity in Jesus’ holy name. It is all good. Have a blessed day! I witnessed corrupt and unlawful acts while I was in the courtroom that make me sick to my stomach and absolutly appalled. The unrelenting sarcasticness and smugness of this judge will haunt the thought of my ever having to appear in court myself. Breaking News from the daily: It’s hot. Unnamed sources say this is often the case in summer. See editorial page for why this is Obama’s fault.

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The Kroc Center’s got Pickleball. If you don’t know, find out.

down THUMBS

Once blamed for the death of the Independent bookstore, the 400 remaining Borders bookstores will be closing by the end of September, leaving readers one less place to grab a cup of coffee.

I don’t like GG. One of the worst live shows I have seen.

Is there a good place to go in Augusta to meet fat women? I am only attracted to BBWs (Big Beautiful Women) and am having a hard time finding a place in Augusta exclusively for BBWs and their admirers. I prefer women on the much

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whineLINE continued...

TAKE THAT, INSIDER!

Oshkosh, by gosh If you like aviation even just a little bit, you’ll want to check out the Experimental Aircraft Association’s AirVenture website (airventure.org) for a healthy dose of all things Oshkosh. Whether you’re all about the Warbirds, are a fan of vintage biplanes or just like to gaze at the pretty girls in their Remove Before Flight T-shirts (it’s a pilot joke), the little town in Wisconsin proves it has what it takes to host the busiest airfield and the greatest airshow in the world. Five minutes on this site and you’ll be in the closet digging out your flight jacket… or ordering one of those T-shirts.

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To the Editor: Tell your “Insider” that Austin Rhodes has already asked me to sit in for him again at the end of the month. Thanks for the plug. Sometimes bad press is better than no press. It’s nice to have a three-hour forum to discuss the true issues of the people. Also, I am helping to host Talk of the Town. I will be sitting in with Andrew. Lori C. Davis President Harrisburg-West End Neighborhood Association Correction The “Angry Waters” feature in the July 14 issue of the Metro Spirit was written by Eric Johnson rather than Angel Cleary, to whom it was attributed in print. Sorry, Eric!

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INSI ER INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Why Buy the Cow…

A colorful parade of characters came before the commission the other day, all of them looking for handouts. First up was the Easter Bunny. Apparently, hopping around Augusta each spring hiding eggs caused him to develop carpal tunnel syndrome in his paws. So he addressed the commission seeking reimbursement from the city for all past, present and future medical bills. Next came the Sandman, who had complaints about working in Cherry Tree Crossing and the Apple Valley subdivision. “I’ve been shot at and my sand has been stolen more times than I can count,” he said. “I feel there are some OSHA issues here. I know my rights.” Then came Mack Nelson, the insurance titan from Macon who purchased the Augusta GreenJackets. What did he want? He went before the Richmond County Commission requesting that the city donate land along the Savannah River — and invest $15 million in taxpayer money — to build his minor league baseball team a new stadium. Oddly enough, he didn’t even play his ace in the hole by threatening to move the franchise if his wishes weren’t met. Instead, he just said he wanted the city to step up to the plate, so to speak, and help him construct his new stadium. Even before this bad dream, area Insiders have been wondering if the Richmond County Commission would be considering a downtown ballpark if it

were Mack Nelson or anyone not tied to Cal Ripken Jr. Yes, Ripken is an American hero in the truest sense. His back-to-back games breaking Lou Gehrig’s consecutive game record, where he hit home runs in both, were voted the most memorable moment in Major League Baseball history by fans and it’s certainly hard not to love the guy. After all, he stands for hard work, commitment, accountability — all those things a good hero should stand for. But the city doesn’t need a hero, it needs a plan. In this economy, with these stakes, it needs to think with its head, not its heart. If we want to revitalize downtown Augusta by spending millions in taxpayer money, how about spending a million dollars per block on Broad Street? New sidewalks. Knock down the vacant buildings to create street-level parking. Lighting. Remove the parking bays. Police. Infradamnstructure. If we have the money to help baseball’s IronMan build a new ballpark, couldn’t we just spend it on ourselves? After all, Mom always said you can’t buy friendship.

Get This One Right... If you ask someone from Dubuque, Iowa, what they know about Augusta, Ga., the first thing they think of is our courtly southern gentility, right? Uh... they probably really think of golf, and specifically the Masters Tournament. Undeniably “The Toonamint” is Augusta’s greatest claim to golf fame, but we’re getting great contributions in Augusta golf from other quarters as well, notably the two-time NCAA Division I champion Augusta State University V. 22 | NO. 48

Men’s Golf Team, the top-flight First Tee program and junior and youth programs throughout our area. Private and public courses throughout the area provide wonderful venues for participation in the sport. Given all this, Augusta-Richmond County should have an outstanding, popular and financially viable publiclyowned course. Instead we have “The Patch.” The conditions on this course have deteriorated drastically in the last few

years — to the point that erosion seems to be a real and serious threat to course design. If present conditions persist, planes won’t be able to land at Daniel Field for the dust storms. The course that so many Augustans have enjoyed for so many years deserves better. The Commission is presently reviewing options for management of our public links in the form of proposals submitted by two private management companies. Private management seems to be the best

way to manage this asset. While the local government should own a course for the recreation of local citizens, it doesn’t seem that we can trust it to water the grass.

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metro Eric Johnson

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Retreat!

While some look at the commission retreat as a chance to move forward, others say moving forward requires stepping back

A year ago, Augusta’s commissioners came out of their retreat talking about what a unifying experience it was. This year, participants were using diplomatic words like cordial and positive to describe the gathering, where the mayor, commissioners and the administrator try to forge a vision for the next year. Commissioner Jerry Brigham calls it giving their “yonder orders.” “We’re here,” he said. “We want to be over yonder.” Administrator Fred Russell, who was looking to the commission for guidance in setting the upcoming priorities, said the meeting allowed them all to focus on some major issues in a way they can’t really do in the commission chambers. “I think the most important thing is that we recognize that the budget is something that’s going to require a lot of conversation and decisions being made,” he said. With the commission showing no appetite to raise the millage rate or continue furloughing county employees, Russell said they will have to be even more creative than in the past at looking for new revenue sources, and creativity may no longer yield enough to rely on. They’ve been innovative, he said, but innovation can only take you so far in this economy. “I think we need to make some hard decisions on what we’re not going to be doing and make sure that the economies that we have are being used to the best of their ability and make sure that what revenue generating resources that we’ve got are used to the best of their abilities,” he said. “A lot of places had to make these decisions three or four years ago, and we’ve been doing okay. But that okay is getting harder and harder.” Mayor Deke Copenhaver touted the possibility of bringing in a consultant to look at the efficiency of the government. “It’s always extremely important to put another set of eyes on things just to see if we’re not missing something

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The idea of bringing in an outside evaluation was broached last year, but Russell was not as keen about it then as he is this time around. “Last year, I thought there were some fairly major things we could do that would improve the efficiencies of the government,” he said. “I was hesitant to bring in a consultant to do things when the executive staff knew what should be done. At this point, we’ve done that, and to fine tune that and to look at other, more detailed areas, I think, would be appropriate.” The reorganization of government Russell was speaking of is currently being implemented, though the savings won’t be known until they are able to look at the end-of-the-year numbers. “We’re in the process of looking at those people who got additional duties to make sure their salaries are appropriate,” he said. “But the changes themselves are there, so we’ve got the structure in a way that, I think, is more responsive to what our needs would be.” Lockett, however, plans to protest the salary adjustments Russell was talking about, indicating a major, substantive rift that could prove to be a wedge in future commission dealings. “I told the administrator and the mayor that I could not support a pay

here,” he said. Copenhaver is especially excited about the possibility of having the University of Georgia’s Carl Vinson Institute of Government be the eyes he was talking about. “Bringing in a group like the Carl Vinson Institute to take a comprehensive look at how we’re doing business — that’s key to me,” he said. Commissioner Bill Lockett, who has expressed frustration at the way the commission has been operating and outright opposition to the restructuring plan undertaken after the commission identified the reorganization of government as a priority at last year’s retreat, liked the idea of bringing in an outside agency, but sounded dubious about the Carl Vinson Institute. “I’m not so sure I would support that,” he said. “What I would like to see is an outside agency that has no connection with this government come in, but there is a very close association between some members of this government and the Carl Vinson Institute.” He stopped short of saying the Carl Vinson Institute would be biased in its evaluation, but he did say he would feel more comfortable if someone else came in.

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increase for any directors that have assumed additional duties because of the reorganization, the legality of which I question anyway,” he said. “If pay increases are going to be done, I expect the same for people on the bottom of the totem pole who haven’t received a pay increase or anything else in several years.” That oppositional posture doesn’t surprise Copenhaver, who, while acknowledging the commission’s recent friction, says part of the tension comes from the fact that they’re attempting to do more than some previous commissions. “The commission had reached a good level of détente over the last couple of years, and this year, I think, we’ve seen a few bumps in the road,” he said. “I think that a lot of that is due to the fact that we’ve been forced to make big-picture moves with government, so part of that is understandable.” While earlier commissions were arguing over whether to buy a twowheel drive truck or a four-wheel drive truck, they weren’t doing the heavy lifting the current commission is trying to do, he said. While that could be perceived as a kind of olive branch to his detractors, Lockett made it clear that he was in no

mood to receive it. “I thought it was good to sit down and talk, but I think there’s a misconception,” he said. “I believe that some people wanted to believe that the retreat was to complete the healing process from all the adversity we’ve been dealing with concerning the personnel, policy and procedures manual and the restructuring of government, and the retreat did nothing for that. We still feel that for us to get back to where we thought we were, we’re going to have to revisit many of those things that have been done that were approved with six votes as opposed to eight.” In other words, not everyone is ready to turn toward the future.

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Mapping the future

Local reapportionment, and accompanying political intrigue, gets closer

At a commission meeting early last month, Director of the Board of Elections Lynn Bailey admitted she had no idea where the redistricting lines were going to go. “There are no rules or laws or guidelines that exist as to how we get this done,” she said. “Only that it needs to be done.” As time brings us all closer to the redistricting events, Bailey and members of the county’s three governing bodies are choosing members to serve on the reapportionment committee. Four members from the Board of Commissioners, the Board of Education and the Legislative Delegation will decide on the criteria for the county’s plan as well as help finalize the district lines. The Commission and the Board of Education share the same district lines. “The ultimate goal is to have a plan drawn and in place that can be submitted to the General Assembly right at the beginning of the regular session in January, with the idea that it can go through the General Assembly and we’ll do what we need to do to get it up to the Department of Justice,” Bailey said.

The plan the committee comes up with must be approved by both the General Assembly and the Department of Justice, which can make things a little complicated and time consuming if there are revisions, which Bailey says is very likely. The community plan establishes the districts, and when it is approved, the Board of Elections will overlay the new congressional lines, house lines and senate lines. “It’s likely that with changes in all four of these areas that we may have precinct lines that will be altered,” Bailey said. Therefore, the makeup of local politics can change on a street-by-street level. After these changes are made, they go back to the Department of Justice for a final approval. The Department of Justice reviews the plan in order to make sure minority interests have not been harmed by the redistricting process as well as ensuring that the newly formed districts are of compatible sizes. For Richmond County, that size is about 25,000 people per district, and

though the county’s overall growth has been virtually static, the population has shifted dramatically within the county’s borders. Districts 1 and 2 decreased by roughly 17 percent and 10 percent respectively, while Districts 3 and 4 both experienced remarkable growth. “When you look at those numbers, you realize you’re going to have to move some voters into one district and out of another district to make that balance,” Bailey said. “So you have constituencies that change as a result of that.” Which brings us to potential political intrigue. Though commissioners all vow that the process will remain apolitical, it’s still very early in the process and it’s likely that both politicians as well as voters will been keenly interested in where the lines are drawn, especially given the dense racial makeup of most of the districts. Matt Aitken managed to win in predominately black District 1, but for most other politicians, a major racial shift in their constituents could be a game changer.

All of which might explain why they’ve decided to let the Reapportionment Office in Atlanta draw up the initial plan. “It gives us the benefit of professionals that do this for a living,” Bailey said. “So it would give us, I believe, a very good template to bring back to Augusta that we all know would meet the legal requirements. We can take that template and be able to make the changes the committee feels are necessary, but at least it gives us a good starting point.” Software at the Board of Elections allows them to download the plan and move census blocks from one district to another as the committee sees fit. The main goal is to be as sensitive as possible with the way they draw the lines. “We try to keep neighborhoods together as much as possible, knowing that the lines have to go somewhere and it’s not always possible to keep neighborhoods together,” Bailey said. “Because at the end of the day you have to get the numbers right.”

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Augusta Goes to the Dogs

The county is considering employing bounty hunters as a way to track down lost revenue

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Facing a lingering recession and a set of new priorities established by the commission that could add to the Richmond County’s budget difficulties, the county is considering turning to an unusual source for revenue. A bounty hunter. “I’m sure they would prefer a different term,” says Administrator Fred Russell, “but they are actual bounty hunters. They work on commission and they bring in what we ask them to bring in.” Downtown folks can rest easy, however. Russell’s not unveiling the enforcement arm of the DDA’s parking program. Employing a bounty hunter is simply a different way of looking at revenue collection, specifically lost revenue. “The tax commissioner has used it for taxes and things like that,” Russell says. “And in our case, we’ve used it for our people to look at sales tax that we’d paid on big projects.” Commissioner Jerry Brigham says Atlanta has successfully used this strategy to recover $7-8 million in business license fees that were outstanding. “I’m hoping that we could find maybe one or two million,” he says. What some find attractive about the idea is the fact that it’s all found money. “It’s something that we could go out and start doing that could affect next year’s budget,” Brigham says. While admitting that hiring someone from the outside to collect what someone from the inside should already have collected is redundant, not to mention a little frustrating, given the way the public views government efficiency, Mayor Deke Copenhaver says it’s nevertheless an understandable example of the way business can overwhelm a government. “Sometimes if you have one entity or one person tasked with doing that, it can be not as effective as it should be.” According to Brigham, the bounty hunters are going to be motivated to find as much missing money as they can. If the don’t, they don’t get paid. “If they find, say, 20 people in Augusta that don’t have a business license or whatever we decide to stick them on, they would get a percentage of the fee,” says Russell. “If they don’t find anybody, they would not get a thing.” Russell pointed out that the fact they are considering such a thing — and that

there’s even such a thing to consider — is an example of a changing world. “As budgets get tighter and tighter, I think people are looking for more of those kinds of things and people are willing to do that kind of work for a percentage,” he says. “Ten years ago, it wouldn’t really have been that profitable.” In order to implement such a program, the commission could either decide to do it as a professional service or as a request for proposal, and though they haven’t decided exactly what they want to do yet, they do know they want to do something quick. “We’d like to realize some of those savings this year,” Russell says. “So we might just do a general solicitation and go from there.” Depending on the contract, the bounty hunter would either sniff out those who haven’t paid for their licenses or actually administer the process. “Of course, the more they do the more they cost,” Russell says. “But it’s all found money. It’s all money that we should have been collecting.” And there’s always the chance that they could be pleasantly surprised by what the bounty hunter finds; that would present the ultimate good newsbad news situation. “The best-case scenario is that they come back and say we can’t find anything and your system works well,” he says. “Though there’s probably not one out of a thousand governments that might get that report.”

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TURN WEIRD n e w s

On May 21, Jesse Robinson either established or tied the unofficial world record for unluckiest underage drinker of all time when he was booked into the Hamilton County, Ohio, jail for underage consumption. According to booking records, Robinson’s date of birth is May 22, 1990. Government in Action! “Common sense lost its voice on this one,” concluded a Wethersfield, Conn., city councilman, lamenting the local school board’s having spent at least $630,000 to “resolve” an ethics complaint against the board’s chairwoman — all because her son had improperly taken a $400 high school course for free. The town’s ethics board conducted more than 60 hours of hearings over 11 months, incurring $407,000 in legal expenses, and finally voted, 3-2, to uphold the complaint. (However, the ethics board ordered only that the chairwoman reimburse the $400; the school board then voted to pay all her legal expenses.) In June, as five young men gathered around the Mount Tabor Reservoir near Portland, Ore., one urinated in it, thus “contaminating” the 7.2 million gallons that serve the city, and, said Water Bureau administrator David Shaff, necessitating that the entire supply be dumped. Under questioning by the weekly Portland Mercury whether the water is also dumped when an animal urinates in it (or worse, dies in it), Shaff replied, certainly not. “If we did that, we’d be (dumping the water) all the time.” Well, asked the reporter, what’s the difference? Because, said Shaff (sounding confident of his logic), “Do you want to be drinking someone’s pee?” Great Art! Britain’s Ben Wilson is one artist with the entire field to himself — the V. 22 | NO. 48

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only painter who creates finely detailed masterpieces on flattened pieces of chewing gum found on London sidewalks. Frequently spotted lying nearly inert on the ground, working, Wilson estimates he has painted “many thousands” of such “canvases,” ranging from portraits and landscapes to specialized messages (such as listing the names of all employees at a soon-to- beclosed Woolworth’s store). According to a June New York Times dispatch, Wilson initially heats each piece with a blowtorch, applies lacquer and acrylic enamel before painting — and sealing with more lacquer. And of course he works only with tiny, tiny brushes. Police Report Gregory Snelling, 41, was indicted in June for the robbery of a KeyBank branch in Springfield, Ohio, which was notable more for the foot chase with police afterward. They caught him, but Snelling might deserve “style” points for the run, covered as he was in red dye from the money bag and the fact that he was holding a beer in his hand during the entire chase. The Aristocrats! Brent Kendall, 31, was arrested in June in Coralville, Iowa, and charged with criminal mischief after he allegedly reacted to a domestic quarrel with his live-in girlfriend by cutting up items of her clothing and urinating on her bed and computer. Criminals With Chutzpah It was a 2004 gang-related murder that had frustrated Los Angeles police for four years until a homicide investigator, paging through gangbangers’ photographs for another case, spotted an elaborate tattoo on the chest of Anthony Garcia. Evidently, that 2004 killing was such a milestone in Garcia’s life that he had commemorated the liquor store crime scene on his chest. The investigation was reopened, eventually leading to a surreptitious confession by Garcia and, in April 2011, to his conviction for first-degree murder. (Photos from Garcia’s several bookings between 2004 and 2008 show his mural actually evolving as he added details — until the crime scene was complete enough that the investigator recognized it.)

of the

CENTURY

A look back at the news the Metro Spirit was covering at the turn of the century

June 20, 2000 AftertheelectionsthatfoundRobinWilliams losing big to Sue Burmeister, writer Stacey Eidson sat down with the Director of the Board of Elections Lynn Bailey. Lynn Bailey, director of the AugustaRichmond County Board of Elections, allows the candidates running for election in her office to register, but asks them to keep their political opinions outside the door. “You just can’t come in here politicking,” Bailey said. “If they do, we ask them to leave because we don’t allow that. Whether it’s verbal or if they’re coming in here with a handful of campaign literature. Or even if they are here wearing a cap, a t-shirt or a button. It doesn’t matter. That has to go.” That may sound like extreme measures, but Bailey said it is important for voters to feel like they can go to a precinct and not be harassed by candidates. She says even the employees in her office usually don’t know about the candidates’ political positions because that topic is off-limits. “Generally, we tend to get to know candidates more on a personal level and not so much what their political platform is because that is taboo in this office,” Bailey said. The fact that she’s still there and the candidates keep coming suggests that she’s found a good formula, though she’s looking at the Board of Elections equivalent of a perfect storm coming up next year — the once every 20 year combination of reapportionment and a presidential election. As the dust cleared from the election, which saw Sue Burmeister beat the pants off Robin Williams to win the State Senate seat, Austin Rhodes found himself eating a healthy dose of crow. “Holy cow. No one, and I mean no one, could have predicted the 62-percent landslide victory Sue Burmeister brought down on veteran state Legislator Robin Williams in the race for the 114. Who would have believed a housewife with no practical political experience could so

Sue Burmeister

easily defeat the most powerful Republican state legislator Augusta has ever known? Certainly not me. I had lunch with Sue Burmeister shortly after she qualified, and I told her as a long-standing friend that she was going to get beat, and I was going to tout Robin and his record of local accomplishment whenever the topic came up. I told her then and I will tell her now that Robin’s stature in the Statehouse was immense, and it was going to take a lot of hard work to ever “replace” him. It took him 10 years to build up such power, and it is going to be darn near impossible to duplicate it in the short term. She understood my support of my friend and ally of many years, and we parted that day shaking hands.” And from the Whine Line: “I’m really tired of the people in the supermarkets and other stores putting spit on their hands to get your bag open. At the PX they had a sponge with water. We need to do something because I’m tired of spit on my bags and I’m sure a lot of people are. It’s a health hazard. Kind of makes you want to spring for the reusable bags, doesn’t it?

METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 13


The Enforcer Former Lynx Trevor Gillies fought his way out of the minors all the way to the New York Islanders, where he and his stache are living the dream By Eric Johnson 14 METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11

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Depending on who you talk to, Trevor Gillies is either an awesome hockey player or a thug. Part of that disparity comes from a general misunderstanding of the sport he plays. Most people — especially here in the South — don’t really “get” hockey — so when they hear the guy racked up, like, a million penalty minutes and got suspended well over a dozen games last year, they’re willing to write him off as nothing more than a troublemaker. A brute. For those who understand hockey, however — its history, its complicated, absolute codes and its mystique — what he does is a noble thing of beauty and therefore represents all that the sport is supposed to be. And then there’s the stache. It’s big and gaudy and it’s taken New York, where Gillies plays for National Hockey League team the New York Islanders, by storm. “I’ve got a Rock the Stache shirt and they sell mustaches at the games,” he says. “A lot of women and kids wear them. It’s pretty cool.” The stache even has its own Facebook page. Gilles’ trademark

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handlebar mustache started out as a bet with a couple of buddies in the minors, one of those who can grow the biggest kind of things. It was just boys being boys in a city (Bridgeport) where nobody really cares about renegade facial hair. And then he got the call. “They called me up on my 31st birthday,” he says. “I’m kind of superstitious and didn’t want to mess with it. Now, the fans wouldn’t recognize me without it.” In deference to his wife, who he met on his first stint with the Augusta Lynx back in the 2001-02 season, he shaves it off during the summers, which he spends here in his Columbia County home. “I love it here,” he says. “I just sweat it out in the summer. It helps me stay trim.” Though he grew up thoroughly immersed in Canada’s pervasive and sometimes spartan hockey culture, where the best players are often sent to live with surrogate families while they practice to become the hockey stars they dream they’ll become, he says he quickly and easily took to Augusta’s southern hospitality. “I grew up not having to say ‘yes, sir’ and ‘yes, ma’am,’” he says. “I just think that’s the right way to raise your kids, so our kids do it. I think that shows great respect.” You don’t have to be with him long before you realize Gillies is all about respect. Respect for his sport, his teammates and the effort it takes to achieve success. Charting his 12-year pro career, which includes two appearances with the Lynx (2001-02 and 2006-07), takes a map with a lot of thumbtacks. And it takes stable full of team mascots.

As a pro he was a Sea Wolf, a Lock Monster, a General, an IceCat, a Lynx, a Bruin, a Riverman, a Falcon, a member of a Wolf Pack, a Pirate, a Mighty Duck, a River Rat and a Tiger before finally becoming an Islander. “My goal was always to keep hockey a big priority,” he says. “I always tried to go to a different place, because my goal was to play in the NHL. Even though I was way down there, I still believed. Believe it to achieve it. That slogan is really true.” Even if he liked a place or a team or an organization, he wouldn’t stay just because it was comfortable. That kind of thinking is fine for some, he says, but it probably won’t get you to the NHL. “It was an absolutely amazing feeling to get the call at 31,” he says. “It’s a really late age to get a chance. I was just fortunate enough that [owner] Charles Wang and [General Manager] Garth Snow gave me a shot with the Islanders and that I did pretty well.” It was more than good fortune, however. Once he got there, he stayed there, even after the suspensions some commentators suggested would be enough to send him spiraling back down to the minor. In June, he signed another one-year contract with the Islanders. “Every day you put on an NHL jersey is a great day,” he says. “There’s never a bad day, and it’s an absolute honor to play at the highest level. That was always my dream as a boy. I’m just fortunate to live up to that dream.” In many ways, that childhood dream started at hockey camp in Canada, when he was 15 and hitting everything that moved. “One of the toughest guys in the league grabbed me early on in one of my first games,” he says. “He got the first punch off and bloodied my nose after he ripped my helmet off. I did real well, so after that he said, “Kid, you can fight — this might be something you want to add to your arsenal.’” That insight turned out to be prophetic. “I knew I could fight, but I wasn’t really branded as a heavyweight until that point,” he says. “I ended up that year as a 15-yearold playing with men.” He ended the season with two goals, six assists and 286 penalty minutes. “I did a lot of fighting,” he says. For the uninitiated, fighting and penalty minutes carry a stigma, while the hockey community makes no such moral judgment. Gillies is an enforcer,

which means it’s his job to be tough and get in fights. Such behavior is actually considered good for the game. “If you don’t have guys like me, you pretty much have a bunch of skill guys who can’t take out their frustrations or settle the score, so they’ll whack each other with sticks and there will be absolute mayhem,” he says. “You’ve got men who are skating up to 30 mph out there with a weapon in their hands.” If you do have guys like him, scores can be settled by those who know how to do it the bare knuckle way. “A guy like Derek Boogaard or a guy like Steve MacIntyre — these guys are like 6’6 or 6’8 and they weight 285 pounds and pretty much their sole job is to make sure their teammates are safe and can skate freely and confidently out there,” he says. “And that’s exactly what I do. I’m one of the average-size guys who do it, but I’ve been doing it since I was 15.” Gilles may be average-size by hockey standards, but at 6’3, 235 pounds — and with arms like tree trunks and dusky fists gnarled from fighting — he can go toe-to-toe with just about any of the MMA guys who train with him at Greubel’s Mixed Martial Arts. At Greubel’s, he works with Chris Elms on fighting techniques and building the core, which is considered key for hockey fighters, since fighting on blades requires a lot of core strength. “He took grabs that will work and certain other things and tweaked them,” Gillies says of Elms. “I owe him a lot of credit, because usually when a fighter in hockey gets around 30 he starts to go downhill, and he can go downhill fast.” The business of fighting in hockey — Gillies calls it leveling the seas — is a sensible and exciting way of policing the game that has its own code. “You always want to fight a guy man to man,” he says. “You want to look him in the eye. That’s kid of how the code goes. You don’t want to jump him unless he does something stupid. And you don’t want to fight angry. If you fight angry, you can get hurt.” He brings up MMA fighters, who are often defeated once they lose their cool. “It’s the same thing with hockey,” he says. “It’s all calculated.” And it’s not just used as a way to get even when somebody does something to a teammate. “If we were playing terrible to start a game — say they pop two quick ones on us and suddenly they get a third — you’re like, ‘Man, I’ve got to do something,’” he says. “So I might go out there and ask their heavyweight for METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 15


a fight.” That’s right. He said ask for a fight. That’s part of that code he was talking about. You hit the skill guys clean and heavyweights fight heavyweights. But what happens if the other guy doesn’t accept? “Well, at that point you’re having a nice, polite conversation saying, ‘Well, I’m supposed to ask you,’” he says. “Then, I just tell them ‘Fine — but just so you know, I’m going to run around and hit your best players.’” That’s just one of several scenarios for a fight. If you go to the Trevor Gillies page on hockeyfights.com, you can see some others, like the time he fought Jered Boll. “I just happened to be getting on the ice and I see him crush one of our guys,” he says. “I know he’s probably not going to fight me if I ask him, but he took out our best guy, so I just go over and get it going with him.” He says this all very casually and watches the video of the very fight he’s talking about with cool detachment. “You never fight for yourself,” he

says, watching himself land a series of jersey jabs followed by some devastatingly solid blows to the face. “When you’re in the lower leagues, you might try to fight just to get noticed and get out of those leagues, but when you’re at this level, you have to fight at the right time, because if you fight at the wrong time, you could hurt your team. You need to know when and where to do it because of the penalty minutes that will follow...” Last year he spent 165 minutes in the penalty box, which means the Islanders spent that many minutes skating one player down. But when it’s done smart, leveling the seas is worth it. The small fraternity of enforcers is a violent but accessible bunch. “If the guy wants to come talk to me after the game — after he beat me up or I beat him up — I’m going to talk to him because that’s part of my job. I fought six of the eight guys in my wedding.” As much as he talks about the dispassion that comes with fighting, he also says that occasionally, the need to “man up” comes at a cost.

To some fans and several commentators, Gillies’ pummeling of Pittsburgh Penguin Eric Tangradi last February crossed the line. Gillies elbowed Tangradi in the face, then punched him several times when he was down on the ice. Then, on his way to the locker room, Gillies taunted the fallen player. Gillies received a nine-game suspension by the league and the team was fined $100,000. “Not getting into it too much because obviously I’ve paid my penance with my fines, but there was some stuff that lead up to that,” he says. “Our goalie got knocked out by their goalie and their whole bench was laughing about it. They thought it was real funny and kind of bullied us all year.” Tired of their skill players taking hit after hit, Gillies and a couple others had a team meeting and decided they weren’t going to take it anymore. “We had guys fighting who had never fought in their lives,” he says. “It’s a band of brothers. You see one of your guys go down or getting hurt and you’re going to do something

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about it. That’s just the way hockey is. A lot of people don’t understand it, but those five guys on the ice are going to stick together. “A lot of people don’t agree with what I did, which is fine,” he says. “But people who know me here in town or back home or on my team or in my family know that I’m a good guy and I don’t try to hurt anybody. But emotions escalated and, at the end of the day, those 24 guys in that locker room love me. And so does my coaching staff and ownership, or I wouldn’t have gotten another contract.” That other contract allows him to stay in New York, where he lives during the season with his wife and two kids. The kids love it because of all the snow, and he’s happy to give them that. “Someday, there’s not going to be any more snow,” he says. He’s not talking global warming, he’s talking the end of his career, which at 32 he knows can be as soon as the next faceoff. “My saying is that I’m going to play

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APPETIZERS Pan Seared Pot Stickers Crispy Green Bean Fries Tuscan Spinach Dip Fried Mozzarella Sticks 1/2 Loaded Potato Skins V. 22 | NO. 48


until they take my skates away, and I still feel that way,” he says. “Whether I’m in the NHL this year all year or another two years or I go back and drop down to the minors and be that high-paid babysitter and look after the kids and make sure they’re okay — I’m not going to be one of those guys who made it to the show and says, ‘Okay, I made it to the show, now I’m done.’ I love the game. I’ve loved it all my life. I want to play it as long as I can.” But what happens when the end finally comes? “I’m kind of undecided,” he says. “When I was first here I had to do a lot of landscaping to be able to stay here, because you don’t make a lot of money if you play in the ECHL. I really enjoyed that, so that’s an option. And I always wanted to be a firefighter when I was a kid — I want to take the schooling for that just to have it.” But before he’s ready for that, you get the feeling the ice won’t be through with him even after they take his skates away. “I really want to coach and help some guys make it up,” he says. “I’m a student of the game and had to do a lot of it myself, so I’d like to pass that on and help some guys.” Currently, he’s working with Augusta Riverhawk’s heavyweight Kevin Fukala.

“I’m just trying to help him,” he says. “I don’t normally do that, but I thought this could be awesome. A young, hungry guy to push me…” When he’s ready for the traditional working world, though, it’s not like he’ll enter it without experience. During off seasons in the minors he did a little bit of everything to make ends meet, including being a brick laborer and selling knives. “A lot of the stuff sports teaches you — hard work, punctuality — a lot of it relates to the business world.” And while he’s making good money in the NHL, money has never been a motivation when it comes to hockey. “I thought I was doing well when I was making $550 a week here with the Augusta Lynx,” he says. “I loved my life, but fans look at that and think that’s not all that much money for a professional athlete, and they’re right, but you’re living the dream. You’re one of the lucky few who had a dream as a boy and gets to live it out. You can do something for money, sure, but you’re getting to play the game you love. People need to remember that.”

4020 Washington Road, Martinez

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CELEBRATING OUR 75TH YEAR OF BUSINESS!!

Trevor Gillies breaking down his fights at the Metro Spirit office

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HERE ON THE FLIGHT PATH by Norm Foster

Announcing our hilarious summer show, HERE ON THE FLIGHT PATH, by Norm Foster. This play is guaranteed to make you laugh! It is a riotous look at a wouldbe ladies man’s relationships with three attractive women. For John Cummings, living in a big city building on the edge of an airport, the coming and going of jet planes is simply a metaphor for the way life flies by. When you don’t grab tomorrow by the tail, you’re left on the edge of the runway, on the outskirts of life. “Fresh and hilarious. The one-liners fly by at top-gun speed.” - London Free Press

SHOW DATES

July 15, 16, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30 Dinner, 7:00 p.m. | Show, 8:00 p.m.

MENU Cod with Roasted Garlic and Lemon • Chicken Marsala • Teriyaki London Broil Lemon Rice • Squash Casserole • Vegetable Medley • Roasted Red Potatoes House Salad with Cranberries • Dinner Rolls • Deluxe Dessert Table • Coffee • Iced Tea

Civilians: $40 | Seniors (65 & over), Retirees, DA Civilians, Active-Duty E7 & above: $38 | Active-Duty E6 & below: $30 | Show only: $25

For reservations, call 706.793.8552

Produced in cooperation with The Army Entertainment Program and Dramatists Play Service. Some adult humor. Rated PG-15.

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Can Get Here From There Dave Desmelik’s interest in music began in an Alpharetta, Ga., high school jazz band, where he learned to play bass guitar. Present day finds Desmelik evolved into a singer-songwriterguitarist whose style of choice is Americana and alt-country. So how’d he get here from there? “I was probably never a good enough musician to be a true jazz player,” he joked. “True jazz players are incredibly knowledgeable and fast and can make their fingers do things I can’t do.” Desmelik may sell himself short, but he’s had an incredibly prolific career considering he’s not signed to a record label. He’s released six albums and just finished working on a seventh, and recently toured the U.K. That kind of commitment can’t be easy for someone with no label support, but Desmelik says he does it for one simple reason. “I keep writing songs and if I don’t record them, they’re probably going to go away,” he said. “I figure if I’m going to write them and put my heart and soul into them, I want to put them into a format that’s a good quality and is radio ready.” That, he says, is where having good friends comes in handy, like the one who has engineering and mixing experience who helps Desmelik record. “It’s great because he comes in to my house and brings his stuff, and he spends some time setting things up and doing his thing and then lets me do my thing,” he explained. “He presses record and I just go for it.” Desmelik, who spent some time in Flagstaff, Ariz., before setting up his current home base in Brevard, N.C., returns to Augusta’s Stillwater Tap Room after a three-year hiatus. The performer said those who attend Friday night’s show will hear songs that are mostly personal, but open for interpretation. “My songs mean certain things to me, but I kind of leave them open ended to let the listener decide what they mean to them,” he explained. “A lot of my songs are based on true events, but not all of them. I’ve written a couple of murder ballads and those are not true stories. I have not killed anybody.” Dave Desmelik Band Stillwater Tap Room Friday, July 22 10 p.m. $4

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calendar

Hopefully you won’t turn into one of those crazy coupon people they show on TV, but you may just learn to save some money at Couponing with Carol on Thursday, July 21, from 6:30-8 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Arts

Art at Lunch: Matthew Buzzell will be held Friday, July 22, at noon at the Morris Museum of Art. Award-winning independent filmmaker Matthew Buzzell, whose work has been shown on PBS and at the Tribeca Film Festival, discusses his craft and the process of producing a movie. Members, $10; nonmembers, $14. Lunch by Cindy’s Catering. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Basket Weaving with Tammy Canady is Saturday, July 23, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Aiken Center for the Arts. The class is open to all levels; no experience weaving is necessary. $70. Call Cathy Rumble at 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Artist Workshop: Pinhole Photography for Beginners will be Saturday, July 23, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and Sunday, July 24, from 12:30-4:30 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Under the instruction of Rosanne Stutts, participants will build their own pinhole camera, take several images and develop the pictures. Members, $100; nonmembers, $115. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Pen and Ink with Watercolor Washes Workshop, led by Nanette

20 METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11

Langer, is Saturday, July 25, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Open to all levels. $70. Call Cathy Rumble at 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

No Nature, No Art, an exhibition by William Willis, will open with a reception Tuesday, July 26, at 6 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Free. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org.

Mosaic Madness with Michelle Petty is Tuesday, July 26, from 6:30-8 p.m. $90. Open to ages 14 and up. Call Cathy Rumble at 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Jane Popiel Exhibition shows at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through the month of August. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.

Arts groups are invited to apply to the Greater Augusta Arts Council for grants, awarded on a competitive basis with primary consideration given to the quality of artistic activities, management of fiscal responsibilities, demonstrated financial need, and the degree of benefit to the Augusta community. Deadline for application is Friday, July 22. E-mail Grace Inman at grace@augustaarts.com or visit augustaarts.com. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

Civil War Redux: Pinhole Photographs by Willie Anne Wright shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Artwork by local artists Lisa Baggs and David Godbee will be displayed at the Walton Rehabilitation Hospital Art Hallway through the month of July. Call 706-823-8584 or visit wrh.org. Philip Juras: The Southern Frontier, landscapes inspired by Bartram’s travels, shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Music

Preston & Weston featuring Sandra Simmons perform at Candlelight Jazz Series on Sunday, July 24, at 8 p.m. at the riverfront stage on 8th Street. Participants are invited to bring their

own seating and picnic. $6. Call 706495-6238 or visit gardencityjazz.com.

Literary

Harlem Book Discussion will be held Thursday, July 21, at 4 p.m. The group will discuss “Dragonfly in Amber” by Diana Gabaldon. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. NOOK Tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a NOOKcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Theater

“The General and His Lady,” a production of Enopion Theatre Company in conjunction with The Salvation Army of Augusta’s Kroc Center, shows Thursday-Saturday, July 21-23, at 7 p.m., and Thursday, July 28, at 7 p.m. The original music production depicts the story of William Booth, the founder of The Salvation Army, and his wife Catherine. $10, students and seniors over 65; $15, adults. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com. “Here on the Flight Path,” a production of the Fort Gordon Dinner

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Theatre, shows July 22-23 and July 28-30 with dinner at 7 p.m. and show following at 8 p.m. $24-$40. Call 706-793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com. “The Altos, Like the Sopranos Only Lower,” a production of the Aiken Community Playhouse, shows FridaySaturday, July 22-23, at 8 p.m. This is an interactive musical comedy mystery spoof of the famous HBO series by David Landau. $12, general admission. Visit acp1011.com/shows/altos.php.

Dance

Friday Dance is every Friday night from 8:30-11 p.m. at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. $10. Call 706854-8888 or visit thebdc.us. Christian Singles Dance, for ages 18 and over, is every Saturday night at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans from 7-11 p.m. $8-$10. Call 706-8548888 or visit thebdc.us.

Flix

“Tron: Legacy” shows Thursday, July 21, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. “Rango”showsFriday,July22,at

2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Yogi Bear” shows Tuesday, July 26, at 2:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” shows Tuesday, July 26, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org. “Potiche”showsTuesday,July26, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “The King’s Speech ” shows Thursday, July 28, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Special Events

Third Thursday Wine Tasting at Wine World will be Thursday, July 21, from 5-8 p.m. Sample three whites, three reds, and cheese. $5, with a $3 rebate with purchase of a featured wine. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. Couponing with Carol is Thursday, July 21, from 6:30-8 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

T S u G u A Y L u J Comedy N I S A M T S I CHR idge Presents A Musical

Y L I M A F S R E SAND

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S A M T S CHRI

WeeklyWineTastingsatVineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday at 6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Nominations sought for 2011 Preservation Awards. In order to be considered for an award, a property must be on or eligible for nomination to the National Register of Historic Places, either individually or as part of a historic district, and the project must be completed. Nominations will be accepted until Aug. 15. Call Robyn Anderson at 706-724-0436, e-mail robyn@ historicaugusta.org or mail to P.O. Box 37, Augusta, GA 30903. Saturday Market at the River, located at 8th Street Plaza, downtown Augusta, is each Saturday through Oct. 29, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Health

American Red Cross Babysitter’s Training is Thursday, July 21, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Students ages 11 to 15 learn about leadership, safety, basic care and first aid in order to provide safe, responsible care. $30 fee includes babysitting text and certificate. Preregistration required. Call 803-641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com.

ChildcareandBabysittingSafety, including instructions on playtime, hand-washing, telephone calls, infant and child feeding, diapering, sleep time, and providing emergency care, is Saturday, July 23, from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. For those ages 11-14. $30; pre-registration required. Call 706481-7535 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. On Being a Girl meets Tuesday, July 26, from 6-9 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. This class is designed for girls ages 9-12 accompanied by their mother, a female friend or relative. Discussion is focused on physical and emotional changes of puberty. $10 per person. Call 706-4817535 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Shepeard Community Blood Center Blood Drive is Wednesday, July 27, from 11:30 a.m.-7 p.m. at the Harlem Methodist Church. Call 706-737-4551 or visit shepeardblood.org for a complete list of blood drives. Seven Habits of Highly Wholesome Consumer: Learn to Make the Daily Choices that Keep You Fit is Thursday, July 28, at 6 p.m. at the Wilson Family Y. Participants will learn ways to improve health from the experts. Free to members; $10 to non-members. Financial assistance is available for all

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Family Y programs. Visit thefamilyy.org. Weight Loss Seminar, covering obesity causes, side effects, health risks and surgical treatment options, is Thursday, July 28, at 7 p.m. at the Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center on Laney Walker Boulevard. Free, but pre-registration is required. Call 706-7212609 or visit mcghealth.org/weightloss. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class, sponsored by the CSRA Parkinson Support Group and The Family Y, is a group class designed specifically for ambulatory participants affected by Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease. Held each Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y indoor pool. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Joint Efforts, an informational class about knee and hip pain causes and treatments sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday at 11 a.m. at Augusta Orthopaedic Clinic. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Support

Blood Cancer/Stem Cell Support Group will meet Thursday, July 21, from 5:30-7 p.m. in the MCGHealth Cancer Center’s first floor community room. Call 706-721-1634 or visit mcghealth.org. MultipleSclerosisSupportGroup meets Monday, July 25, from 6-7:30 p.m. at MCGHealth. Call 706-721-7239 or visit mchealth.org. Cancer Share Support Group meets Monday, July 25, from 6-7:30 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706-7748308 or visit universityhealth.org. Let’s Talk Cancer Support Group meets Tuesday, July 26, from 5:30-7 p.m. in MCGHealth’s Cancer Center’s firstfloor community room. Call 706-7210550 or visit mcghealth.org. Parkinson’s Disease Support Group will meet Tuesday, July 26, at 6 p.m. at University Hospital. Call 706863-6355 or visit universityhealth.org. Sibling Birthday Party, an event for children whose mothers are expecting a baby, is Tuesday, July 26, from 7-9 p.m. at Babies R Us. Pre-registration required. Free. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. A.W.A.K.E. (Alert, Well, and Keeping Energetic) Sleep Apnea Support Group meets Thursday, June 28, from 7-9 p.m. at MCGHealth. Call 706-7210793 or visit mcghealth.org.

22 METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11

Moms Connection meets every Tuesday from 1-2 p.m. at 1225 Walton Way (the old Fairway Ford dealership), room 1010C. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit mcghealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery Support Group meets each Wednesday at 1:30 p.m. in Suite 110 of Medical Office Building 2, 3624 J. Dewey Gray Circle, on the Doctors Hospital campus. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Education

Tips and Tricks from Ancestery.com and HeritrageQuest. com, a seminar on online search tools in genealogy, is Thursday, July 21, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-8261511 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginning Computer II Computer Class is Friday, July 22, at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Excel I Computer Class is Wednesday, July 27, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Saturday Historic Trolley Tour, every Saturday, begins at the Museum of History and tours historic downtown Augusta from 1-3:15 p.m. Reservations required. All seats are $12. 706-724-4067.

Benefits

Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com.

Sports-Outdoors

Master the Fundamentals Baseball Camp is Saturday, July 23, from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. The camp is for ages 8-12, and will be hosted by professional baseball player Chris Tate and East Georgia College’s Nate Crown. The camp will cover infield and outfield play, base-running, proper throwing mechanics and hitting. $45. Preregistration strongly encouraged. Call Chris Tate at 706-832-2781. Soul City Sirens vs. Apocalypstix is Sunday, July 24, at 6:30 p.m. at the Red Wing Rollerway. $15. Visit soulcitysirens. com.

Junior Golf Clinic at Bartram Trail Golf Club is Monday-Thursday, July 25-28, from 9-10 a.m. For ages 8-13. $80 per person. Call 706-210-4681 or visit bartramtrailgolfclub.org.

Kids

The Augusta GreenJackets play the Hickory Crawdads Thursday, July 28, at 7:05 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Tickets are $1-$13. Call 706-922-WINS or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

“The Bremen Town Musicians,” a Porkchop Productions presentation, is Thursday, July 21, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. This telling of the classic German fairy tale includes music, songs and a chance for audience members to become a part of the story. Best for ages 4-10. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl. org.

Augusta Rugby Football Club meets every Wednesday from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch, 100 Wood Street. New players are welcome. Email arj6402@yahoo.com.

Special Story Time at Pendleton King Park with children’s librarian Eileen McCoy will be Thursday, July 21, at 10 a.m. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Group Run begins each Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. at Nacho Mama’s. Threeand four-mile routes are available for all ages and abilities of runners. Call 706-414-4059 or email jim@ enduranceconcepts.com.

Nurturing Nature Walks at Reed Creek Nature Park, for ages 3 to 5, is on Thursday, July 21, from 10-11 a.m. Free for members and $2 per child for nonmembers. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Hockey Skills & Drills is every Thursday from 6-8 p.m. at Augusta Ice Sports Center. $10-$15. Call 706-8630061 or visit augustaicesports.com.

Flower Hunter, presented by Morris Museum of Art, is Friday, July 22, at 9:30 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. For ages 5 and up. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-2158181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans. com. Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered daily at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday Sunset Cruises, lasting three hours, are at 5 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Book Signing with Dr. Debi Toporoff is Friday, July 22, from 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Toporoff is the author of The Roscoe Children’s series, including “OOPS! Wrong Family” and “When God Came Down.” Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. How Does the Earth Work? is a program at Reed Creek Nature Park for ages 7 and up on Saturday, July 23, from 10-11 a.m. Participants will have a chance to look at the forces that shape the Earth from the past, present, and on to the future. Free for members; $2 for nonmembers. Pre-registration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Pond Exploration at Reed Creek Nature Park, for ages 5 and up, is on Saturday, July 23, from 10-11 a.m. Free for members; $2 for non-members. Preregistration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Back 2 School Expo is Saturday, July 23, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at the ASU Christenberry Fieldhouse. Visit augustachronicle.com/back2school. Diamond Lakes Less Than 2 Minutes Film Festival is Monday, July 25, at 6 p.m. Participants will view short films submitted during the contest and vote for a fan favorite. Snack provided. For ages 12 and older. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

V. 22 | NO. 48


All summer long, local teens have been learning to use video cameras and making movies. See what they came up with at the Diamond Lakes Less Than 2 Minutes Film Festival on Monday, July 25, at 6 p.m. Participants will view short films submitted during the contest and vote for a fan favorite. Snack provided. For ages 12 and older. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

The Weather Around Us is Tuesday, July 26, at 10:30 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Led by Rich Rogers of NBC Augusta WAGT 26, participants will learn about thunderstorms, hurricanes and other weather phenomena. Best for ages 6-12. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Therapy Dogs and Ann Sprinkle will be at the Maxwell Branch Library on Wednesday, July 27, at 10 a.m. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Yoga for Kids is Wednesday, July 27, at 10:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Craft Program is Thursday, V. 22 | NO. 48

July 28, at 11 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. For ages 6-10. Call 706-7366244 or visit ecgrl.org.

$130 per week and pre-registration is required. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Tae Kwon Do lessons are at the Wilson Family Y, Family Y of Augusta South and North Augusta throughout the month of July. Lessons are twice a week and for all skill levels, ages 5 and up. $35 per month for members; $55 per month for non-members. Register at any Family Y location or online at thefamilyy.org.

Larry Cat in Space shows at USC-Aiken’s Dupont Planetarium Saturdays in July at 8 p.m., while To the Moon and Beyond Shows at 9 p.m. Tickets for each show are $4.50 for adults, $3.50 for seniors, $2.50 for 4K-12th grade students and $1 for USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-641-3769 or visit usca.edu/rpsec/ planetarium/.

Registration for Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art Summer Camps, for kids ages 5-11, is going on now. The camps, held at either the GHIA location downtown or at The Quest Church on Washington Road in Martinez, are held in one-week sessions. Afternoon camps at the GHIA’s downtown location, are offered the weeks of July 11 and July 18. Camps are $60 per week for members and $75 for non-members. Call 706-7225495 or visit ghia.org.

Monday Movie Matinees at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library show at 2 p.m. throughout the summer. Participants may bring their own snacks. Call the library for a list of movies to be shown. Call

Family Y Day Camps, at all area branches, run weekly throughout the summer. For ages 5-17, pre-registration is required for all camps, and a deposit of $15 per child per week is charged

The Power of Art, a summer arts camp for children ages 4-6 who have not yet started the first grade, meets from 9 a.m.-noon the weeks of July 18 and 25. All take place at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Camps are

706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 23


upon initial enrollment in a camp program. Register at any Family Y location or online at thefamilyy.org. Summer Art Camps at the Aiken Center for the Arts, for those ages 4 and up, will be conducted weekly through July 25 and feature a different theme each week. Half-day and full-day programs available. $117-$193.50 for members and $130-$215 for non-members. Preregistration is going on now. Call 803-6419094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-8540149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:3011:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m. and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-7370012 or visit bn.com. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

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Seniors

Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Hobbies

Augusta-Aiken Audubon Society Field Trip is Saturday, July 23, from 8-10:30 a.m. Group will be hiking the boardwalk across Butler Creek Swamp, and coming back across it on the bridge then hiking Beaverdam Trail. Visit augustaaikenaudubon.org. A new bridge session covering modern conventions begins Tuesday, July 26 at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Call Cathy Rumble at 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Augusta Genealogical Society meets every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday at 9 a.m. and Sundays from 2-5 p.m. at the society’s Adamson Library, 1109 Broad St. Free. Call 706-722-4073. Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters Meeting, for those who want to brush up on their public speaking skills, is every Wednesday at noon at the Cotton Patch downtown. Free. Call 803-593-6605. French Club meets each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Borders. Free. Call 706-737-6962.

Thursday Nights at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta features half-price tickets each Thursday from 4-8 p.m. A guided tour of permanent collection highlights is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4444 or visit high.org. Modern By Design by MoMA shows through August at the High Museum of Art Atlanta. Call 404-7334437 or visit high.org. If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Yoga I and II is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays

American Wines, a wine tasting event, is Thursday, July 21, from 6-9 p.m. at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. Tickets include three wine tastes or a full glass, plus admission to the museum. $20. Visit high.org.

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Jazz Journeys is each Friday night from 7-9:30 p.m. at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta. Participants can listen to live music while viewing the aquarium’s exhibits. Visit georgiaaquarium.org.

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Highlights of the Museum’s Collection, a docent-led tour of the Columbia Museum of Art in South Carolina, is on Sunday, July 24, at 2 p.m. and provides and overview of the museum’s collection of European and American art. Free. Call 803-799-2810 or visit columbiamuseum.org.

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Our daughters spent the past week at the Tanglewood Girl Scout Camp (no word on any Ty Pennington sightings). They’ve saved some money over the summer, so my wife told them it was okay to buy something at the camp store. They brought home this really interesting gadget. It is made of clear plastic. You could see all the little the gears and sprockets inside. Immediately we recognized it as an old-fashioned disposable camera. To them it was magic. “Can you really take a picture with it?” asks my daughter.

“You sure can,” I say. “Just point and press the button.” She lines up the picture. You hear the click of the shutter, and then, “Mommy, I can’t see the picture.” “Yes, that’s right sweetie. You have to take it to the store, and they will make pictures for you.” “Oh…” My other daughter then decides it’s time to climb up the inside of a doorframe. “Hey, everybody, watch this!” Click. Click. Click. Click. My turn now. “Hold on! Slow down. Do you see these numbers? You only have 24 pictures, and then you have to get a new camera.” “Really, Daddy?” “Really, sweetheart.” One of the big tech news items this week is the debut of Spotify in the

United States. Spotify is streaming music service that has been available in Europe for several years and boasts over 15 million songs in its catalog. The Spotify service allows users to select individual tracks to play instantly. Users can also build and share playlists with others through integration with Facebook, or through one of many Spotify playlist sharing sites (Google “spotify playlist”). The free version of Spotify is by invitation only, limits users to 10 hours per month and contains advertising interruptions. For $5 a month, users don’t have to wait for an invite, and the restrictions are removed. For $10 a month, downloads to mobile device and offline play is enabled. I like to listen to a wide variety of music, and I’ve had to shy away from iTunes because the per-track purchasing gets too expensive. Spotify is a great fit for folks who want to control their playlist but don’t feel the need to own every track. The other huge Augusta tech news item is that I now am on Google+. The one thing I really like about Google+ is the Circles concept. Facebook’s big drawback has always been the allor-nothing way in which you share information with friends. Yes, you can create groups and limit the data you share with groups, but I’ve not seen anything in Facebook that approaches the simplicity of Google+ in managing and sharing information. It doesn’t yet have all the features of Facebook, but I think that discounting Google+ at this point would be a mistake. If you are still on the waiting list, send me a note at augustatek@cmaaugusta. com. I’ll send you an invite. Also, I have one Spotify invitation for free service that I would be willing to give to a reader if they could convince me they deserve it. Follow me on Twitter @gregory_a_ baker.

Gregory A. Baker, Ph.D., is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

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THE

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Harry Potter sets all-time box office record last weekend, to no one’s real surprise. RANK TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

HARRY POTTER

$169,189,427

$169,189,427

1

-

2

TRANSFORMERS

$21,328,545

$302,878,797

3

1

3

HORRIBLE BOSSES

$17,777,464

$60,149,603

2

2

4

ZOOKEEPER

$12,330,512

$42,382,978

2

3

5

CARS 2

$8,407,529

$165,389,754

4

4

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” David Koon The boy wizard goes out with a satisfying bang The family and I braved the dead of night last week to attend one of the midnight showings of the final Harry Potter flick, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2.” Turns out it was a Potter film well worth standing in line with a bunch of sweaty, robewearing virgins. The darkest film of the sevenepisode series, “Hallows 2” is, by turns, dangerous, suspenseful, funny and moving — it’s unafraid to kill off treasured characters and show onscreen death and battle as befitting war. Best of all, the film gives the ol’ heave-ho to a lot of the filler and red herrings of Rowling’s text while keeping the stuff that matters. It’s a lovely end to a classic series. The film begins with Harry just having buried yet another of his heroic friends — the elf, Dobby, who has just saved the lives of Harry, Hermione and Ron from the clutches of the followers of Voldemort. Harry and his friends are still on the trail of a series of hidden horcruxes — pieces of Lord Voldemort’s soul, secreted in mundane objects, which allow him to be immortal. Find and destroy all the

horcruxes, and you destroy the Dark Lord and save the wizarding world. In the meantime, Harry’s old adversary Severus Snape has taken over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry after the death of former headmaster and Harry’s mentor Albus Dumbledore, turning it into a cruel place where punishment and torture is common. In order to find the remaining horcruxes, Harry, Ron and Hermione have to go on a series of death-defying adventures, including breaking into (and out of) Gringott’s Bank with the help of a semi-friendly dragon and going behind enemy lines to bust into the heavily-guarded Hogwarts castle itself. This scheme results in a rather thrilling siege of the castle and subsequent battle that put this reviewer very much in mind of some of the more sprawling war-making in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. In the midst of the conflict, of course, comes death for both old enemies and dear heroes, revelations about an unlikely ally and a new understanding about a person Harry thought of as one of his closest friends. It all culminates in a final showdown between Harry and Lord

Voldemort, who holds the Elder Wand, the most powerful magical object in existence. In the midst of that battle, Harry comes to a lot of new conclusions about both himself and the people he thought he knew, including some truly heartbreaking insight about professor Severus Snape, his connections to Harry’s mother and Snape’s true motives since the moment Harry’s parents were killed. The moment Harry discovers the truth about Snape is moving, and Alan Rickman — like the rest of the cast — handles his big moment in the spotlight brilliantly, bringing several of the folks around the reviewer to tears. The Big Three — Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson — also

bring sensitivity and a real sense of sacrifice to the characters. It’s Radcliffe’s Harry, though, who winds up the magical Christ-figure, willing to give up his own life to save the world, and selling you on the gravity of that choice every step of the way. It probably won’t spoil anything for you to hear that Harry and his friends wind up triumphing over the forces of evil. The film ends on a two-decadesin-the-future coda that put the perfect cherry on the whole cycle. In short, it’s a lovely end to a fairly decent series. You shouldn’t miss this one, if only so you can tell your grandkids that you saw it in theaters. Like “Star Wars” and the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, it’s destined to be a big thing for generations to come.

MOVIE REVIEW V. 22 | NO. 48

METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 27


Opening Friday, July 22

THE8ERS Going to the movies this weekend? Here’s what’s playing.

Action “Captain America: The First Avenger,” rated PG-13, starring Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones. The most Republican-Party friendly superhero of the Avengers gets his own big-screen treatment, dorky-ass uniform and all. Is it unpatriotic to think that this comic book turned movie looks extraordinarily lame?

Rom-Com “Friends With Benefits,” rated R, starring Mila Kunis, Justin Timberlake, Woody Harrelson, Andy Samberg. Didn’t we just see this movie recently starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher? No? Not the same one? This one, it seems, can’t be any worse and may actually be better since it reteams Timberlake and Samberg. Given their SNL work, we may just give this one the benefit of the doubt.

The Big Mo thebigmo.com July 22-23 Main Field: Captain America (PG13) and Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PG-13); Screen 2: Cars 2 (G) and Zookeeper (PG); Screen 3: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (PG-13) and Horrible Bosses (R). Gates open at 7 p.m.; shows begin at 8:30 p.m. (approximately)

Monte Carlo (PG) 11:50, 2:20, 4:50, 7:25, 9:55; Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PG-13) 11:55, 12:55, 3, 4:05, 6:40, 7:10, 9:50; Bad Teacher (R) 12:05, 2:15, 4:25, 6:55, 10:15; Cars 2 (G) 11:45, 2:10, 4:40, 7:20, 9:55

Regal Exchange 20 regmovies.com

Masters 7 Cinemas

July 22-23 CaptainAmerica:TheFirstAvenger (PG-13) 9:50, 11, 11:30, noon, 12:30, 1:50, 2:20, 2:50, 4:10, 4:40, 5:10, 5:40, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:30, 9:50, 10:20, 10:50, 11:20, 12:40, 1:15; Friends with Benefits (R) 11:15, 12:20, 2, 2:55, 4:35, 5:35, 7:10, 8:10, 9:45, 10:45, 12:20; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (PG-13) 9:45, 10:10, 10:40, 11:20, 11:55, 12:15, 12:50, 1:15, 1:35, 2:30, 3, 3:20, 3:55, 4:20, 4:50, 5:30, 6:05, 6:25, 7, 7:25, 7:45, 8:40, 9:10, 9:30, 10:05, 10:30, 10:45, 11:35, 12:15, 12:35, 1:10; Winnie the Pooh (G) 10:10, 12:10, 2:05, 4, 7:20; Horrible Bosses (R) 10:15, 12:40, 3:05, 5:30, 7:55, 10:25, 12:45; Zookeeper (PG) 11:25, 2:10, 4:45, 7:20, 10:10, 12:40; Larry Crowne (PG-13) 9:20, 11:45; Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PG-13) 11:05, 11:35, 2:35, 3:05, 6:30, 7:05, 9:55, 10:35; Bad Teacher (R) 11:45, 2, 4:25, 7:15, 9:35, 11:50; Cars 2 (G) 11:10, 1:55, 4:45, 7:35; The Hangover Part II (R) 10:15, 12:45; Bridesmaids (R) Noon, 4:10, 7:05, 10:20, 1:10

georgiatheatrecompany.com July 22-23 Mr. Popper’s Penguins (PG) 12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:15, 9:50; X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 12:45, 3:45, 6:30, 9:25; Jumping the Broom (PG-13) 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 9:45; Thor (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7, 9:40; Fast Five (PG-13) 1, 4, 6:45, 9:35; Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (PG-13) 1:30, 4, 6:45, 9:30; Rio the Movie (G) 12:45, 3, 5:15; Soul Surfer (PG) 7:30, 9:55

Evans Cinemas georgiatheatrecompany.com

D N E M M O C E R I “The Closer: Season Six” Okay, so Kyra Sedgwick lays the southern accent on a bit thick in her portrayal of Deputy Chief Brenda Lee Johnson, head of the LAPD’s Special Crimes division. That’s part of the campy fun of this TNT series, now in it’s final season. With a lesser cast (lookin at you, “CSI”), the series could fall into the dull formula of crime, investigation and resolution (Brenda gets the murderer to confess because, without it, there’s not enough evidence to convict — surprise!). Thankfully, however, that never happens because there’s too much else going on. Brenda’s neurotic, her easy-on-the-eyes husband, FBI agent Fritz Howard, is jealous of Brenda’s boss (and former boyfriend) Assistant Chief Will Pope, and her detectives are always sqabbling like children. Two episodes in and the final season is shaping up to be an exciting one. So if you haven’t seen it in a while, you might want to catch up. — MS

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July 22-23 Captain America: The First Avenger (PG-13) 12:45, 1:15, 3:45, 4:15, 6:45, 7:15, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15; Friends with Benefits (R) Noon, 2:30, 5, 7:40, 10:10; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (PG-13) 11:45, 1, 1:30, 2:45, 4, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10, 10:15; Winnie the Pooh (G) 11:45, 1:40, 3:35, 5:25, 7:20; Horrible Bosses (R) 12:25, 5:30, 7:50, 10:10; Zookeeper (PG) 12:20, 2:50, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15; Larry Crowne (PG-13) 2:40, 5:10, 7:35, 10:05;

Mack Taylor ATTORNEY AT LAW

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Summer R. Steele

ART

To Market, To Market You never know what you’ll find each Saturday by the river

The atmosphere of the Augusta Market at the River may reel visitors in, but it’s the faces behind the booths that tell the real story. The market, which is open each Saturday from April 16-Oct. 29 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m., is run by Brooke Buxton, who is doing a great justice in bringing the old-fashioned, open-air market feel back to downtown’s 8th Street Bulkhead. “We are here rain or shine,” Buxton said. “It’s up to you [the customers and vendors].” The market is a wonderland and has without doubt has something for every age: interesting crafts, fresh produce, baked goods and amazing foliage are just a few of the booths present during a recent trip. As I entered the market, I first noticed happy young kids and an even happier woman in Sadie Beck showing them the tricks of her trade. The booth displayed her craft, Heather Blue Hoops (heatherbluehoops@gmail.com). If the name doesn’t say enough, perhaps the

purpose will; both Heather Schatzer and Beck design handmade hoops they use for dance and fitness, lessons and events. Later, I met Barbra Pirtle, who maintained an amazing booth that displayed rare finds that were obviously well made. Her merchandise ranged from beaded eclectic jewelry made of pressed paper, table mats made from banana fiber, and baskets made from river reeds, just to name a few. All of her wares came from Kampala, Uganda, the home of Pirtle’s family. There she found a woman who made items such as these to earn a living. She was there this particular day with her daughter, who lives in Uganda. Next, on my great-find list was Salih M. Salih. His small business is called Albadrany Design (sa2006_11@yahoo. com), and his booth displayed handcrafted wood pieces from furniture to functional, all made by hand without nails. He and his three children, Asala, 14, Alfarouk, 13, and Hamza, 12, all enjoy helping their father in

his craft. Natives of Iraq, Salih’s skill shines through his indoor and outdoor furniture, banisters, custom lathe work and varieties of bowls, lamps and candle sticks. Yet another fantastic find was Brooke’s Gardens, and yes it belongs to the same woman with the Augusta Market’s vision. A family friend

named Steve Lutz was running the booth that day and introduced to plants I had not yet known of until then. Another of Brooke’s booths was dedicated to The Golden Living Center, run by friend Nicole Young Pennington, COTA of the Golden Life Facility in Augusta. its primary

sightings Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Linda Motto, Lesley Yarnell, Maggie Rountree and Christy Hill at The Bee’s Knees.

V. 22 | NO. 48

Jess Johnston, Steven Kophazy and Marine Schneider at Pizza Joint in Evans.

Molly Lewis, Jeryle Lynn Reed, Grace Meyer and Danyel Farrell at the First Round of Augusta.

METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 29


Alfarouk Salih, Hamza Salih, Salih M. Salih and Asala Salih purpose is rehab through gardening, and getting back into nature. They set the bar at optimum levels of functioning and quality of life through gardening. The hope is to give the golden years a, “Sense of well-being… and to make a difference in the ongoing problems in nursing facilities [and]… improve quality of life,” Pennington said. Finally we stopped at perhaps my favorite booth run by Shishir Chokshi, owner of Tire City Potters located on 210B 10th St. Chokshi, who owns and runs his business and is a wellknown artist, has been at this for over a decade. Working the booth with him was apprentice Julian Salazar. As

Barbra Pirtle

for the owner himself, where he is, pottery and apprentices are not far behind. “I was introduced to pottery in second grade,” he said of the impetus behind his uniqued pieces. “With my mom, who was a painter.” To simply call it a day at the market would do this establishment very little justice; it is more than that by far. It is a place to peruse the locals and the city all at once. For more information about the market and all its perks, visit theaugustamarket.com.

Shishir Chokshi

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David Lynes, Sarah McSwain and Matthew Lynes at Coyote’s.

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Jessie Counts, Bradley Gaskin and Kayle Williams at The County Club.

Mike and Kelley Sleeper with Trey Enfinger at Pizza Joint in Evans.

V. 22 | NO. 48


JENNY is WRIGHT

Jenny Wright lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

Dentists — Scarier Than Clowns? Do y’all remember the clown doctors in “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”? They were even scarier than Large Marge. Now, clowns are scary in general, but these top the list. I think it’s the whole hospital setting in the movie that also makes them so terrifying. With the exception of the bright dangling spotlight, it’s dark. That was, for a long time, my mental image of going to the dentist. I know, I know, most people don’t love going to the dentist. But I was really scared of going. I remember a hygienist that cleaned and inspected my teeth as a child being less than gentle with that scraper thing. Needless to say, my attendance suffered over the years. Last summer, I was playing tennis at the Brynwood courts. We didn’t have a ball boy that day, so we were scooping up buckets of balls. As I bent over to pick one up, my sunglasses slid down, blocking my line of sight. BAM. I hit my mouth so hard I saw stars. A dadgum metal chair had come between me and the ball. I still cringe thinking about it. I stood up, feeling lightheaded. I also felt bits of tooth in my mouth. It felt like most of my tooth was missing. I yelled to my friends that I’d broken my tooth and needed to leave. They told me to stop freaking out and let them see. So I let them see. All four of them said, “It’s no big deal at all! It’s barely broken! Just stay and finish the practice with us!” I was so surprised.

I truly thought my tooth was gone. I stayed and played for about 45 more minutes. Well, they must’ve really just needed a fourth player because I got in the car, looked in the mirror and gasped. My original fears were realized. Not much tooth left.

Kelsey Allen, Amber Ramp and Lindsey Duren at The County Club.

V. 22 | NO. 48

I promptly called my good friend who also happens to be a dentist. “Sky, I have a dental emergency.” While I waited for my appointment time, I stopped at a furniture store to browse. We were looking for a couple of things for two recently remodeled rooms in our house. I actually found a

Brandy Rollins, Chris Flakes and Marisa Harris at the 26th Annual Augusta Southern Nationals at the Augusta Riverfront Marina.

television stand that I loved, so I called The Man to discuss. When he asked how much it was, I looked for a price tag and couldn’t find one. He suggested that I just ask the clerk about the cost. Couldn’t he hear my lisp? I realize that he hadn’t seen me yet, but there was a hole in my mouth. Arriving at the dentist, I covered my mouth as the sweet girl (hey Crystal!) at the desk asked me the new patient questions and handed me the paperwork. It included all of the standard stuff like health concerns, address, birthdate and Social Security number. One of the last questions was, “Are you happy with your smile?” I wanted to laugh but didn’t want anyone to see my broken tooth. Long story short (too late!), I was fitted for a temporary crown and eventually the permanent one. It looks so good that most people wouldn’t even know I have a fake tooth. For any major procedure, nitrous is offered and I accepted. The dentist isn’t nearly as bad as I thought. Mine is gentle and the drugs made the re-entry even easier. Today I went for a regular cleaning. Of course, they don’t give laughing gas for routine treatment. I’m happy to report that I didn’t need it. Instead, I got clean, shiny, healthy teeth and a flashy new yo-yo out of the treasure box.

Brad Severson, Kristen Murphey and Joy Anthony at the 26th Annual Augusta Southern Nationals at the Augusta Riverfront Marina.

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BODY ENHANCEMENT By Ben Pall and David Kahn/ Edited By Will Shortz

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DOWN 1 “___ Ramsey” (1970s western) 2 Prize at the Barcelona Olympics 3 Botching 4 Bedding 5 Numerical prefix 6 Basketful, maybe 7 Like some air and dollar bills 8 Snaps

9 A famous one begins “Thou still unravish’d bride of quietness” 10 Buns, e.g. 11 One instrumental in music history? 12 Vodka ___ 13 Like a lord or lady 14 Undisturbed 15 Follower of Israel? 16 Hinged implements 17 Take off 18 Abdicate 20 Mold 23 “___ will not” 26 Eye layer 28 Peeping Tom, e.g. 29 Little bit 31 Help in making a prediction, maybe 32 Riddle-me-___ 33 Monk’s title 35 Numerical prefix 38 Unrestricted, as a mutual fund 41 Tom Sawyer’s crush 42 Scornful replies 43 “Woe ___” (grammar guide) 44 TKO callers 45 Paolantonio of ESPN 47 Like things that go bump in the night 48 MS. enclosures 52 “Love Me Do” vis-à-vis “P.S. I Love You” 55 Actress Lena Olin, e.g., by birth 57 Easter Island is part of it 58 “Born on the Fourth of July” hero Ron 59 Great-grandfather of Noah 60 Web 61 See 88-Across 63 Certain Black Sea dweller 64 It’s a gas 67 Taking place in 68 Ellipsoidal 69 Fulfills 70 Morse T 71 “The Balcony” playwright 73 Suffix with hip or tip 74 Stale Italian bread? 76 Neighbor of Colo. 77 Golden ___ 79 One who’s been released? 80 Wires may connect to them 81 Voltaire or Adam Smith 85 Maintaining one’s composure, say 86 T or F: Abbr. 89 Rapper ___ Wayne 91 Follow 92 & 93 Picnic amenity 94 Cheerful 97 Wide, as the nostrils 100 Submit 101 Like Guinness 102 “Pearly Shells” singer 104 Change 105 Ole Miss misses, e.g. 106 Bad marks? 107 Blocks 108 Drop the ball 111 Taiwan-based computer maker 113 Home of 102-Down 115 ___ Jima 116 “Be a ___!” 117 Not settle, say 118 Stephen of “Interview With the Vampire” 119 Govt. ID

previous week’s

ACROSS 1 Meaningless 7 Dolt 11 Reached 19 Symphony whose second movement is marked “Marcia funebre. Adagio assai” 20 Ring bearer 21 Dew, e.g. 22 What a poltergeist investigator does? 24 1862 invasion battle site 25 Mount for the god Neptune 26 Monopoly purchases: Abbr. 27 TV show whose name precedes a colon 28 See 49-Across 30 What the tired waiter provided? 33 Worry 34 Totals 36 “Interesting …” 37 Noted explorer traveling with a monkey 39 London’s locale: Abbr. 40 Fruit for lagomorphs? 46 Shows worry, in a way 49 Old French 28-Across 50 Some people have funny ones 51 Lighten (up) 53 Mauna ___ 54 Livens (up) 56 Disorderly poultry workers? 62 Opera 65 Practices 66 Sweetheart 67 Wistful remark 70 Result of a bad swing, maybe 71 There may be many in a family 72 Got around 73 ___ law (old Germanic legal code) 74 Detectives’ aids 75 Attempts to climb a mountain range? 78 “Monk” org. 82 Noshed 83 Snick and ___ 84 Van Susteren of Fox News 87 Mass of eggs 88 10,000 61-Down 90 Sad sports headline in a Providence paper? 95 Verdi’s “___ tu” 96 Actress Gershon 98 Sweetheart 99 Estate total 101 Billy who sang “Rebel Yell” 103 Dusting on the side of a cut gem? 109 Point in the right direction? 110 Friend of Eeyore 111 Bronze, e.g. 112 Like some sabbaticals 114 Point to 116 Churchgoers, sometimes? 120 Didn’t just spit 121 Senders of some Christmas gifts 122 Excels 123 Roasters, essentially 124 “Why don’t we?!” 125 Get dark?

V. 22 | NO. 48


free will Rob Brezsny

a s t r o l o g y freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

An innovative job-seeker named Travis Broyles put an ad on Craigslist in Atlanta. Among the tasks he said he would perform for money were the following: draw your face on a balloon; build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive; change his political leanings; or provide you with star treatment for a month, hiding in the bushes like a paparazzi and taking candid photos of you. Coming up with your own version of this list will help stimulate your imagination about what gifts you have to offer. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

On an episode of “The Simpsons,” while visiting the home of a colleague, the superintendent of schools is surprised to witness an anomalous outbreak of spectacular light. “Aurora Borealis?” he exclaims. “At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?” “Yes,” replies the colleague. You will soon enjoy a metaphorically comparable visitation. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

My colleague Antero Alli praises the value of anxiety, saying it’s because you’re experiencing more uncertainty than you like to — and that can be a good thing. The anxiety that comes from unpredictable mysteries may herald the arrival of an influx of creativity. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“The I Ching counsels that if we associate with others who are not our true peers,” says astrologer Caroline Casey, “our real allies cannot find us.” Apply this test to yourself. If you find that your circle is largely composed of cohorts and comrades who match your levels of vitality and intelligence, it will signal an opportunity to begin working on an upgraded version of your social life. But if your survey reveals that you’re hanging out too much with people whose energy doesn’t match yours, it will be time for a metamorphosis. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

There’s a lot of graffiti scrawled in a variety of languages on St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City including, in English, “God, bring back ‘Arrested Development.’” Now would be a good time for you to be equally cheeky in V. 22 | NO. 48

promoting one of your pet causes. To fight for what’s right, you may have to make your mark in a place whose sphere of influence is bigger than yours. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Do you stare for hours every day into little screens like those on smart phones, computer monitors and TVs? If so, tear your gaze away more than usual in the coming week. A change in your brain chemistry needs to happen. Doing so will invigorate your thinking about the design and contours of your own destiny. So catch regular views of the big picture. Treat clouds, birds and stars as if they were restorative messages from the wideopen future. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

A Facebook friend posted a quote by Sigmund Freud: “Being entirely honest with oneself is a worthwhile exercise.” Another Facebooker disagreed: “Oh, I say let yourself have a little denial, and touch base with reality on a need-toknow basis.” Another respondent took that sentiment one step further: “Reality and I have an understanding. I don’t mess with it and it doesn’t mess with me.” Which of those three approaches do you pursue? Try the first one for at least the next two weeks.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

I dreamed you were in a cake store. Every delicious kind of cake you could imagine was there, but there was a problem: You weren’t allowed to buy anything, even though you had enough money. A big sign on the wall said, “Absolutely no cakes available for Aries.” What do you think my dream means? What are you going to do about the situation? One way or another, it’s high time to get the cake you want.

“Do you know how to resolve an unresolvable paradox?” asked a Facebook friend. “You figure out the ‘error’ in the initial premise or assumption.” Do not be tempted to bang your head against the wall. Instead, think: “What would be a more productive way to formulate the riddle I need to untangle?”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Don’t let the blanks remain vacant and barren any longer. Don’t allow them to keep screaming at you with their accusatory silence. Just fill in the freaking blanks with whatever you’ve got to fill them with. You may be tempted to wait around for a supposedly more ideal moment, but this is as ideal as it gets. So express the hell out of yourself in the empty spaces; create yourself anew in the void.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

There’s a backlog of unexpressed narratives clogging up your depths. It’s like you have become too big of a secret to the world. The unvented pressure is building up, threatening to implode. Find a graceful way to share the narratives that are smoldering inside you. You need a receptive audience and the proper setting. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Piscean actor Javier Bardem said to Parade magazine, “I don’t know if I’ll get to heaven. I’m a bad boy. Heaven must be nice, but is it too boring? Maybe you can get an apartment there and then go to hell for the weekends.” Don’t pursue this line of thought. You may imagine that you can get away with sneaking away to hell for just a couple of days a week, but I don’t share that optimism. Rack your brains to drum up as much adventure as possible in safety zones and sanctuaries where you know for sure you’ll stay healthy and sane.

METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 33


CRISP Split Personality

Columbia County coffee shop offers something different at night

At first glance, Columbia County’s Bean Baskette Coffee Shop appears to be an ordinary cafe. Customers enter to the high-pitched whine of an espresso machine, a welcome sound that sets off a Pavlovian response in many a caffeine-deprived brain. Chalkboards in front of and behind the counter list coffee, tea, breakfast and lunch specials. A refrigerated case displays quiches and desserts, and seating is offered in the form of tables and chairs, overstuffed loveseats and even brightly colored rocking chairs outside the front doors. Glance toward the back, however, and customers will see something that they might not expect from a shop that sits in a quiet part of a strip center at the corner of Evans to Locks and N. Belair roads: A fully stocked bar. Tavern at the Bean is what owners David Baskette and Jason Drinnen call the bar area, which has been open since

And though they occasionally offer live music, Baskette said his nighttime customers wouldn’t make up your normal bar crowd. “It’s not a wild, crazy bar scene; it’s more like a sit back, relax and talk kind of place,” he said. “We will have live music in here sometimes but that’s about as loud as it gets.” Baskette and Drinnen seem to have thought of everything, offering their regular menu of sandwiches, salads and non-alcoholic beverages at night as well. “The coffee shop part is still open,” Baskette said, “so the DD [designated driver] can get his coffee.”

September. Baskette said it’s all part of his plan to keep changing things up at the cafe, which opened in 2006. “I’m always expanding, always adding new things,” Baskette said. “Change is always good for a restaurant. We’re trying to create a niche and see what everybody likes.” The tavern seems to be a big hit with customers, who love the fact that Baskette offers a great selection of vodkas, rums, tequilas and Irish whiskeys, among others. “We did some research and offer a lot of top-shelf stuff,” Baskette said. “We might not have everything, but we have a large selection.” Customers also appreciate the dinner specials Baskette offers to go along with the drinks. Taco Thursdays are popular, and this past week saw the pub offering personal pizzas, as well as hot dogs, cole slaw and baked beans in honor of National Hot Dog Month.

Bean Baskette Coffee Shop 4414 Evans to Locks Rd. 6:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Mon.-Tues.; 6:30 a.m.-9 p.m., Wed.-Thurs.; 6:30 a.m.-10 p.m., Fri.; and 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Saturday 706-447-2006 beanbaskettecoffee.com

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MARTINEZ 706.860.0116

AIKEN 803.641.0144

LEXINGTON 803.732.2669 V. 22 | NO. 48


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Gourmet Relay is a weekly column in which local cooks share a recipe with Metro Spirit readers, then pass the tongs off to another cook of their choosing, who will be featured the following week.

LIVE & LOCAL Barbara Rose At the turn of the century, the company Barbara Rose worked for told her that they were moving from her hometown of Flint, Mich., to Waynesboro, Ga. They wanted her to come, but she said no. “I told them I wasn’t going to go with them,” she said. “I grew up in Flint and lived there all my life.” Several months later, the company called her in a panic and begged her for some short-term help. Barb agreed. “I was only supposed to be here for six months,” she laughed. “And that was in 2000.” Now a resident of North Augusta’s Hammond’s Ferry and an employee at DSM, Barb is a fixture in the area’s sports community. An avid runner, Barb has completed three marathons, several half-marathons and a handful of triathlons, most of which were done while she was raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training. These days, Barb is training for the upcoming New York City Marathon

on Nov. 6 and, for that event, she’s raising money for a charity called Shoe 4 Africa. “What they’re doing right now is raising money to build the first and only children’s hospital in Kenya,” she explained. “It’s a very small charity so there’s no administrative overhead. Everything donated goes straight to the hospital.” A former competitive bagpiper who twice competed in the world championships in Scotland, Barb is also the host of each Thursday night’s Homer Hustle, a running group that meets at her house. Named after one of her two cats (her other cat’s name is Bonnie), the group meets, runs and then sticks around Rose Cottage afterwards for potluck snacks and beer. Fitting then that the recipe Barb has submitted is great for a crowd, can be doubled (or tripled) easily, can be made ahead and can sit out for a couple of hours without worry.

Bruschetta 1 medium tomato, chopped 1/4 cup olive oil 2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar 1 tsp. minced garlic (from jar) 1 tsp. Italian seasoning 1 tsp. sugar Dash of salt Pepper to taste Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Serve over freshly cooked garlic bread (or bread of your choice).

V. 22 | NO. 48

and ne ver a c over! the line-up. 7.21 Thursday Outshyne 7.22 Friday Night Rocks with Graham’s Number 7.23 Saturday Live Music TBA 7.24 Sunday Blue Jeans Brunch 11am-3pm Patterson & Nate Washington Road just past I-20 • 706-364-WILD (9453) w w w. w i l d w i n g c a f e . c o m METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 35


Helga’s Pub & Grille

Thursday, Saturday You’d think that Saturday trivia would be more crowded than Thursday, but it’s not. Must be the corn dogs.

Bistro 491 fancy food with a sense of humor

Calvert’s Restaurant

Known for their more traditional fare, this restaurant nonetheless makes a mean tuna wasabi with Asian marinated shrimp over Asian noodles.

Calvert’s Restaurant old school Continental Club Argos LGBT Crums on Central live jazz on weekends

P.I. Bar and Grill

French Market Grille New Orleans in the Garden City

Wine Down Wednesday Half off bottles and glasses starting at 5 p.m. makes the verandah that much more relaxing.

Helga’s med student heaven Polka Dot Pig unique atmosphere & unique bar Sheehan’s Irish Pub the nicest pub ever Surrey Tavern the original neighborhood bar Tako Sushi Asian / Mexican fusion

Surrey Tavern

Saturday Gaslight Street is a Charleston, S.C., based band that makes its Augusta debut.

The Vue upscale dance club w/ occasional bands

Coyote’s

Verandah Grill at the Partridge Inn Augusta’s best balcony

Friday, July 22 It’s Beach Night. Celebrate by shagging all night long to music from The Embers.

Coyote’s great live music & DJs Road Runner Cafe in front of Coyote’s Villa Europa German / Italian /International favorites since 1974

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Limelite Cafe

Allie Katz good cheap drinks

Yeah, you can find Chimay here. It might set you back a bit, but it — and a few gazillion other beers — are here.

Cadillacs cozy neighborhood spot Cadwallader’s Cafe Italian flair Carolina Ale House sports themed restuarant / feat. outdoor covered bar Country Club dance hall and saloon Cue & Brew great burgers Doubletree Hotel popular restuarant

Doubletree Hotel

TGI Friday’s

Every day is Friday here, except when it’s the Saturday following one too many Ultimate Mudslides.

French Market Grille West NOLA in the Garden City

3 Sides of Jazz Live music and all the fresh seafood you can eat. Life doesn’t get any better.

Hooters hooters Limelite Cafe extensive beer selection Malibu Jacks beach themed restaurant & bar Rack & Grill true pool hall Rae’s Coastal Cafe worth finding Rhinehart’s backyard seafood Robbie’s Sports Bar true pool hall

Shannon’s

Bill Tolbert & the New BTUs If you miss them on Friday, don’t worry; just come back on Wednesday.

Cue ‘n Brew

Try either one, or both, at this laid-back hangout.

Shannon’s old lounge / new look Somewhere In Augusta sports bar & grill TakoSushi Asian / Mexican Fusion TGI Friday’s How man pieces of flair do you have? Wild Wings Cafe live music 7 nights a week Cue n’ Brew pool hall Laura’s Backyard Tavern Laura’s house

Pickles Cafe & Grill

Pizza Joint Beer Me Tuesday

Friday It’s prime rib night tonight at this locally owned restaurant. Enjoy it with a beer or a glass of wine.

Laura’s Backyard Tavern

Live music on the weekends under the stars with a beer in hand. Can’t beat it.

Rhinehart’s backyard seafood The Tavern at the Bean discreet, top shelf Sidetrack Bar & Grill by the railroad tracks Pickles Locally owned restaurant in ColCo Tako Sushi Asian / Mexican fusion Mellow Mushroom plus full bar

THE HILL

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Manuel’s Bread Cafe - locally sourced bistro The Highlander - real Bristish pub

Manuel’s Bread Café

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Wednesday The Henrys — Henry Wynn, father and son — perform at this French bistro.

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Augusta Canal - music on the water

Sky City

Sweet Lou’s Crab Shack - Broad & 13th

Thursday Death of Paris, a female-fronted band from Columbia, S.C, shares the stage with Panic Manor and Mazes & Monsters.

Frog Hollow Tavern - upscale restaurant & bar / locally sourced

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1102 - block deep restaurant & bar

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Metro Coffee House - coffee, beer, liquor, people Soultry Sounds - jazz club Wicked Wasabi - authentic Japanese

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Soy Noodle - Asian sensation Blue Sky Kitchen - new parents New Moon Cafe - ecclectic grindhouse

Nacho Mama’s

Bees Knees - small plates

What to get? A margarita and anything that comes with mango habanero salsa.

Rooster’s Beak - tacqueria w/ great ice cream Soul Bar - pure funk Playground - rock-n-roll Nacho Mama’s - rolling ‘em fat Stillwater Taproom - blugrass before bluegrass was cool Casa Blanca - JB White’s storefront

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Wheels - cool & on the corner The Loft - liquor with attitude Bar on Broad - contemporary South Beach vibe Club Rehab - upscale sportsbar Joe’s Underground - live music underneath Broad St. Tipsy McStumbles - confess later

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Boll Weevil

The wall of cakes make you suddenly indecisive? You can’t go wrong with 7th Heaven Chocolate Cake.

The Loft

Monday-Thursday Karaoke every weekday. Hope the bartenders wear earplugs.

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Eagle’s Nest - best view downtown Blue Horse Bistro - jazz tapas The Sports Center - old school pool hall and burgers Luigi’s - Augusta institution Beamie’s Restuarant & Oyster Bar - taste of the beach downtown The Boll Weevil - great food and the best desserts Cotton Patch - eat, drink, be happy Mi Rancho - chips & salsa on the Savannah 209 Restaurant & Lounge - soul food & lounge La Maison on Telfair - fine dining & tapas Fox’s Lair - coolest bar in America

The Joker Lounge girls dancing nightly Fantasy Showgirls girls dancing nightly Discoteque girls dancing nightly

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Thursday It takes two to tango, so have two glasses of wine while you get up the nerve to take this free introductory lesson.

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Thursday Soup, Suds and Conversations Starting at 6:30 p.m. during the summer… bring food enough for 20 get a free bar tab.

Tipsey McStumble’s

Mondays feature all-day happy hours. And waitresses in short skirts.

Sector 7G

Tuesday This full bill includes On My Honor, Audiostrobelite, My Latest Fashion, Ocean Specific and Seladora.

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Thursday, July 21 Live Music Country Club Velcro Pygmies Coyote’s Jayson Sabo Unplugged French Market Grille West Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground Ruskin Malibu Jack’s Marilyn Adcock One Hundred Laurens Kenny George Rose Hill Stables Preston & Weston Sky City Panic Manor, Mazes & Monsters, Death of Paris Villa Europa Chuck Holt Wild Wing Outshyne The Willcox Four Cats in the Doghouse

What’s Tonight? Cadillac’s Karaoke Casa Blanca Thursday Tango Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Candy Stripers Cabaret Cocktails Lounge Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) Karaoke Pizza Joint, Evans DJ Kris Fisher The Playground Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s Karaoke Somewhere in Augusta Karaoke with Charles Soul Bar Boom Box Villa Europa Karaoke with Just Ben Wooden Barrel ‘80s Night Karaoke

Friday, July 22 Live Music Cotton Patch Paul Arrowood Coyote’s The Embers Doubletree Hotel 3 Sides of Jazz Fox’s Lair Jeff Johnston French Market Grille West Doc Easton Joe’s Underground Impulse Ride Laura’s Backyard Tavern Live Music Malibu Jack’s Tony Williams One Hundred Laurens John Kolbeck The Playground John Berret and the Laroxes Polo Tavern Robbie Ducey Band Shannon’s Bill Tolbert and the New BTUs Sky City Jemani, Velvet Jonez Stillwater Tap Room Dave Desmelik Band Surrey Tavern David Heath Funk Band Wild Wing Grahams Number The Willcox Kenny George

What’s Tonight? Cadillac’s DJ Doug Club Argos Variety Show V. 22 | NO. 48

Club Rehab DJ C4 Cocktails Lounge Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge Caribbean Night with DJ Spud Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke Palmetto Tavern DJ Tim The Place on Broad Rock DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe Karaoke with Steve Chappel Sector 7G Rave Night w/ The Fence Sitters Somewhere in Augusta Footloose Dance Party Soul Bar Pop Life Tropicabana Latin Friday Wooden Barrel Karaoke Contest

Saturday, July 23 Live Music The Acoustic Coffeehouse Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Blue Horse Bistro Live Music The Cotton Patch Keith Gregory Coyote’s Loose Cannon The Fox’s Lair Jared Gay Joe’s Underground Jeff Johnston Malibu Jack’s Josh Hiley STR8 Shot P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Polo Tavern Jim Fisher Band Shannon’s Tony Howard and Blues Express Somewhere in Augusta The Unmentionables Surrey Tavern Gaslight Street Wild Wing Barefoot Justice

What’s Tonight? Cadillac’s DJ Doug Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Cocktails Lounge Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge Reggae Night with Island Vybez The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke One Hundred Laurens DJ Kenny Ray The Playground DJ Fugi Sky City ’90s Night

Tropicabana Salsa Saturday Wooden Barrel Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, July 24 Live Music Crums on Central Jim Perkins Jessye Norman Amphitheatre Candlelight Jazz w/ Preston & Weston with Sandra Simmons P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Wild Wing Patterson & Nate

What’s Tonight? Caribbean Soul Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Denny Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Somewhere in Augusta Soul City Sirens After Bout Party

Monday, July 25 Live Music Soul Bar M*Tank

Shannon’s Bill Tolbert and the New BTUs Wild Wing Old Man Crazy The Willcox Hal Shreck

What’s Tonight? Club Argos Santoni’s Satin Dolls Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Trivia Cocktails Lounge Augusta’s Got Talent The Cotton Patch Trivia and Tunes with Cliff Bennett Laura’s Backyard Tavern Karaoke The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Place on Broad Jazz DJ The Playground Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern Karaoke with Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta Trivia with Charles; The Comedy Zone w/ Ron Feingold and Larry XL

What’s Tonight?

Upcoming

Applebee’s (Evans) Trivia Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Hopelands Gardens ABATSU African Drummers & Dancers Malibu Jack’s Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Somewhere In Augusta Poker Tournament Wild Wing Trivia and Karaoke

Modern Skirts, Oryx & Crake, Space Ghost Sky City July 28 Bare Knuckle Champions Stillwater Tap Room July 29 Them Bones (Alice in Chains tribute) The Playground July 30 Acoustic Muffin (Danger Muffin) Stillwater Tap Room August 5 Merle Haggard Bell Auditorium August 6 Ed Turner’s Rock and Soul Review Imperial Theatre August 12-13 Whiskey Gentry, American Aquarium, Sibling String Sky City August 12 The New Familiars Stillwater Tap Room August 13 Keith Urban James Brown Arena August 13 Hellblinki Sky City August 13 Betsy Franck Stillwater Tap Room August 19 The Mason Jars Stillwater Tap Room August 26 Smooth Music Festival with Boney James and Rachelle Ferrell Bell Auditorium September 2 Whiskey Gentry Stillwater Tap Room September 16 Efren Stillwater Tap Room September 23 Langhorne Slim Sky City October 1 Casting Crowns USC-Aiken Convocation Center November 25

Tuesday, July 26 Live Music Blue Horse Bistro Tim Sanders Cocktails Lounge Live Music Fox’s Lair John Fisher Sector 7G On My Honor, Audiostrobelite, My Latest Fashion, Ocean Specific, Seladora Wild Wing Dave and Mike The Willcox Hal Shreck

What’s Tonight? Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Karaoke with Big Tony Fishbowl Lounge Dart League Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Denny Somewhere in Augusta Trivia with Charles

Wednesday, July 27 Live Music 209 on the River Smooth Grooves Cadillac’s Live Band Joe’s Underground Sibling String Malibu Jack’s Marilyn Adcock Manuel’s Bread Cafe The Henrys

Elsewhere Wiz Khalifa Time Warner Cable Uptown Amphitheatre, Charlotte, N.C. July 21 Kid Cudi Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre at Encore Park, Alpharetta July 21

METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 41


The Beauty I Was Nearly Gonna See In Person This is may be the only time you’ll ever hear me say this: Dang it, Superchuck! Dang you for playing Atlanta on Sept. 8 2011. I bought my tickets a few weeks ago... I discovered First Aid Kit quite by mistake, I think. YouTube is good for that sort of thing. I was late to the party. The Swedish sister act had long since risen to notoriety on the strength of a YouTube posted video of a cover of the Fleet Foxes’ “Tiger Mountain Peasant Song.” Their talent is only surpassed by the clear adoration Johanna and Klara Soderberg share for each other. I was smitten instantly and quickly snapped up their 2010 release “The Big Black & The Blue” as soon as it was released. A truly gorgeous piece of folk goodness, warmer than pie. I was in love, love, love. I thought to myself that surely I would never get to see them live. They did tour in the U.S.

on a limited basis, but frequent checks of their tour calendar found them playing all over Scandinavia most of the time. Until recently. My heart leapt into my throat last week when I was sent an invitation on Facebook. It informed me that First Aid Kit will not only be performing live on tour support of Bright Eyes, but they will be doing so in Athens, Georgia! On Sept. 8 (cue the loser music from “The Price Is Right”). As quickly as my heart leapt, it sank. Dang! If only we could talk Coco Rubio into getting that bill at Sky City on a swing date. I’ll be at the Superchunk show in Atlanta. Maybe there will be another day to catch First Aid Kit. After all, they’re only teenagers… very old-soul teenagers who sing like angels floating on ambrosia clouds. However, the fact remains Superchunk has been near and dear to me since the 1990s and I may not get

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another chance to see them live. If you have not yet experienced First Aid Kit, do yourself a favor and seek them out. Check out their website at http://thisisfirstaidkit.com/. More remarkable to me than my favorite teenage troubadours performing in Georgia is the fact that they are appearing at The Georgia Theatre. There are very few more concrete (see what I did there) examples of the Phoenix story. A fixture for as long as I can remember (the building was erected in 1889), it burned to a shell on June 19, 2009. I thought to myself that it would never be a functional venue again. But the community rallied around, and with the help of countless donations, the $4.5 million restoration project has finally reached fruition. The Georgia Theatre will celebrate its re-opening Aug. 1-14. If only Augusta could get behind The Miller Theatre in the same fashion. The marquee of The Georgia Theatre recently read, “How You Like Me Now?” I wish I could walk down Broad Street one day soon and see this on The Miller Theatre marquee: “Appearing Live Tonight Only: First Aid Kit.”

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the download

dark AFTER

Lara Fortune

Modern Podcast Comedy Almost as Good as the Classics Socially Networked At the lake this weekend, Miss Lopsided and Underage was getting her party on. Well, her currently “off” again boyfriend shows up and gets very drunk. He was really pissed that his girl was at the lake surrounded by guys, so he started challenging everyone to fight. You know the sort of guy he is —the skinny, tanned, wifebeater-wearing sort of guy. And, true to form, once all the guys who were surrounding her take him up on the offer, he’s swimming off to his boat to get his gun.

Our weekly podcast reviewer, Matt Stone, is out sick this week. A wee man, Matt is blessed with an enormous pelt of hair. See him cleanshaven at 8:30 in the morning? Five o’clock shadow by 10. That goes for body hair. As the temperature climbs, this causes issues with his body cooling and overall hygiene. Remember the film of bigfoot? Shot in the fall. Bigfoot chills in the summertime. We wish him a speedy recovery and godspeed. Off the bench with a one time podcast review! I grew up listening to comedy albums. Richard Pryor. Cheech and Chong. Steve Martin. Robin Williams. Sam Kinison. Redd Foxx. Did I mention Richard Pryor? In the ’70s there were three channels, rotary phones, rock ‘n’ roll and comedy (that’s how I remember it anyway). Comedy albums were masterpieces to be studied. Memorized and quoted amongst friends. The very concept V. 22 | NO. 48 43

of being able to own so much AAA comedy these days for free is mindboggling. You can find improv as good as it gets tucked away in iTunes if you know where to look. Character work by the best and brightest in Los Angeles. The comedic epicenter is Los Angeles, and these very talented folks spend their days recording what would have been albums (sold to you for 10 bucks a pop) every day and giving it away. Get on board now before the agents get involved and figure out a way to make money off this stuff. Record and hoard! Check out one of my favorites: Cyber Thug Radio 45 Cyber Thug. James Adomian, Craig Robinson, David Sitek, Dave Cousin, Brandon Johnson Released March 19, 2010 Find it one iTunes.

He fires three shots, brave man that he is. Then the sheriff shows up and it’s this huge deal. And he disappears. Just disappears. Of course, he doesn’t really disappear. Nobody disappears anymore. Not with Facebook. The only reason anyone even has Facebook is to follow crap like this. And it’s all there. Splashed all over Facebook, if you know where to look. You can change the names to protect the innocent, but the newsfeed never lies.

Lara Fortune, our outrageous new nightlife columnist, is real, fun and she gets around, which is mandatory if you’re going to be our heels on the ground. Did we mention she’s real?

METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 43


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Matt Lane is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-TalkSports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com.

Matt Lane

Summer Sporting Makes Area More Than a One-Horse Town As I sat in Charleston earlier this week during a vacation that was part business — my nephew’s travel team baseball tournament — and part pleasure — if you can call it that (our failed chef, ghost-hunting tour guide went hitless when it came to jokes embedded in his twice-daily spiel priced at $18 per person) — the same questions kept rolling around in my mind. Aside from thinking about what kind of habits I was supporting at $18 an hour, I got to thinking about two questions: How much money does the city of Charleston make off of events such as the one I was attending and, with the Nike Peach Jam, Peach State Showcase and the Georgia 14-and-Under Long Course Swimming Championships in town last week, what type of economic impact did they have on the CSRA? The answer to the first question is hard to measure. As a city with a never-ending tourism season, Charleston could make more money off parked cars than some little league tournament any day. But that’s not the point. Summer is synonymous with vacation, especially in the month of July. It’s the last full month before the high school-college-NFL football train starts rolling, and because of it, priorities (read: marriages) are on the rocks until well after the new year. With Augusta having a close proximity to a plethora of beaches and vacation destinations — “Ever been on the ghost tour in Charleston?” — July becomes a slow month for business in the CSRA. Well, until last week happened. Basically, from the middle to the end of July, Augusta gets a $3 million shot in the arm. This strong showing at the end of a “slow” month comes from a few sources. Nike Peach Jam, Riverview Park, North Augusta — Elite Youth Basketball League (EYBL) finals for 17 and under brings 24 travel teams, 16 16-and-under teams, 400-plus coaches and assistants, national media and families of participants. Peach State Showcase — A satellite tournament created off the success of Peach Jam, it brings 150 teams playing in multiple locations in Aiken and Augusta, as well as the families of participants. Nike Nationals, Riverview Park, North Augusta — A premier 17-and-under girls basketball travel team tournament with 24 of the top teams and a 16-and-under tournament as well, bringing coaches and assistants, and families of participants. Georgia 14-and-Under Long Course State Championships, Augusta Aquatics Center — This event brings 700-plus athletes, along with families of participants. This is an encouraging figure the CSRA can depend on, along with the ESi Ironman competition in September, when it comes to incoming money for the area. And at a time when our local dollars are spread across beaches on the east coast, it’s nice to know we have the national profile and prestige to make the CSRA more than just a one-horse town.

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advice goddess Amy Alkon

The Full-Of-It Monty My boyfriend of two years isn’t overtly weird; he’s actually a really nice, normal guy, but he has this “hobby” of going for walks totally naked. We live in Vermont, where this is actually legal. I tell him that women find this upsetting, but he is really turned on by being seen naked by them and has no intention of stopping. Also, he can’t get aroused with me unless he’s been on one of his walks. He says that when he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he masturbates while walking, but because he has me, he doesn’t. Should his nudism bother me? It really doesn’t, but I wonder if it should. — Naked Dude’s Girlfriend I’m always kind of amazed when people write me about how their partner’s “really great” — except for this one little thing. Your boyfriend, for instance, is “a really nice, normal guy” except for how he’s a sex offender. “Dinner’s almost ready, hon,” you call to him. “I won’t be long,” he calls back. “Just taking a quick walk around the block to go scare a few little girls with my wang.” Sure, people should do what pleases them sexually — if they’re doing it with other consenting adults. Leaving the house without a blindfold shouldn’t be considered a form of consent. Most of Vermont is clothing-optional. (One town passed a law against it, and I’m guessing there are signs reading “no pants, no shoes, no service.”) But because it’s legal to take your meat out

most local singles

for a bobble in front of the ice cream store doesn’t mean it’s right to force other people to look at it. On a lesser note, the same goes for nosepicking, which is legal in Canada, the 50 states, Puerto Rico and Guam. Also, what’s legal in Vermont is nudism (going naked), not lewdism (going naked with a sexual intent), which is why the latter comes with a maximum of five fully clothed years in a Vermont prison. A sexual oddity becomes a psychiatric disorder called paraphilia when somebody can’t get off without it and is intensely compelled to engage in it… say, to the point where he’s risking jail time. Sex researchers Masters, Johnson and Kolodny write in “Heterosexuality” that though paraphilias play out sexually, the preoccupation isn’t the pursuit of pleasure but fleeing from psychic pain, as with “compulsive handwashing or the person who must constantly line up all the jars and boxes in the pantry into neat, perfect rows.” Unfortunately, though there’s been some success in treatment with therapy and antidepressants, they find that getting somebody to give up “what he or she deems to be a source of his or her most intense pleasure is likely to be fraught with problems.” The question isn’t should you be bothered, but why aren’t you? Your boyfriend isn’t playing nude volleyball on weekends. He’s playing stroke the salami while strolling the neighborhood. Oh, right, he doesn’t do that while in a relationship — because his compulsion

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is fitted with a handy on-off switch? Ask yourself what compels you to stay with a guy who commits sex crimes every time he takes a walk. How much of your life is twisted around enabling him and convincing yourself you have a great boyfriend — even as you hear the faint screams of the little old lady down the street? Every relationship has its issues, and many women complain that

their man isn’t that present during sex. Then again, that’s usually because they suspect he’s fantasizing about his hot co-worker, not because they’re waiting for him to come back from traumatizing the coffee klatsch.

©2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email adviceamy@aol.com. Also visit advicegoddess.com and read Amy Alkon’s book: “I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society” (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

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METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11 45


austin R

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Who Is on Deck for Augusta? We have an interesting redistricting process about to play out in the State of Georgia, and while it appears we will pick up a congressional seat, in state politics it is also clear that Augusta-Richmond County will likely lose representation. There are a finite number of seats statewide (thank god) and the representation follows the population patterns. There is growth in the suburbs (Columbia County, specifically, for example) and population addition in Augusta proper is not keeping up. Of course such shifts may mean that some current state officials will be faced with running against each other if they intend to stick around, but maybe there are greener pastures waiting to be conquered. As we anticipate a new mayor in a few years, it might be wise to look at state Sen. Hardie Davis and perhaps even state Rep. Quincy Murphy as two men who would be formidable if they decided

46 METRO SPIRIT 7.21.11

to consider replacing the term-limited Deke Copenhaver. Other city officials who are serving out their last terms include Joe Bowles, Jerry Brigham, Johnny Hatney, Joe Jackson, Corey Johnson and Alvin Mason. Of that group, Johnson and Mason are definitely considering a run for mayor. Despite his humorous announcements to the contrary, Mayor Pro Tem Bowles has no genuine interest in another term. Others eyeing a run at this time are said to include Augusta Tax Commissioner Steven Kendrick, and perhaps even Butch Palmer. None of this is written in stone, of course, except the term-limited commissioners and their retirements. And even that may be subject to change. The same redistricting issues we see the state dealing with may possibly have to be addressed at the Commission and Board of Education levels as well. In past years when those types of districts were shuffled,

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. legislators have re-set the term limits, because, technically, no one would be representing the same district anymore. I am not predicting that is going to happen, but it is completely within the power of state officials to make that call. There are very, very few locals I ever want to see kept past their original terms, no matter how good or smart they may be (too easy to become too powerful in such a set-up), but it is going to be a sad day in Augusta when Jerry Brigham is no longer helping guide city policy. Jerry is without a doubt the smartest and most resourceful school board trustee/ county commissioner/city commissioner I have ever seen serve in Augusta. The void he leaves in leadership and institutional knowledge will be bigger than the void he leaves when he stands from a chair, and that is saying something! I hope that he will find a good way to continue serving the local taxpayers, because his stewardship and common sense is going to be missed in ways they may never know. Most of the area was caught off guard by the death of Columbia County Probate Judge Pat Hardaway. The fact that she

had been ill was known my courthouse insiders and her family, but few had any idea she would go so quickly. Her longtime probate court co-worker and recently appointed Associate Probate Judge Alice Padgett has been named as the interim. She is definitely planning to run for the post full-time when the special election date is declared. Ironically, the acting probate judge gets to set that date, choosing between two this fall. Some less informed dolts have grumbled about this development, saying that Hardaway should not have hand picked her successor. Even a couple of neanderthals question if the fact that her husband is Superior Court Judge Wade Padgett makes this out to be some predestined legal dynasty in the making. Grow up. Judge Alice’s probate work predates her husband’s ascension to the judgeship, and Judge Hardaway’s decision to hire Alice is even that much more of an affirmation that she is perfect for the job. I swear, if the good lord came down to take us home tomorrow, there are some Columbia Countians who would gripe about the traffic jam.

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Metro Spirit 07.21.2011