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Taylor Gazaway Memorial Fund Established To the Publisher: Thank you for all you have done to remember our grandson, Taylor. We wanted to tell you that the memorial fund has been established with Don Brigdon, principal at Evans High School, and now is accepting funds. The Taylor H. Gazaway Memorial Fund will be used to help Evans High School senior students with expenses that would include, but not be limited to, graduation purchases, awards, pictures, tutoring, online classes, etc. The name of the account will be set up as “Taylor H. Gazaway Memorial Fund,” and funds will be distributed through the Evans High School accounts. Anyone wishing to honor Taylor with a contribution should use the following information: Make checks payable to Evans High School, with Taylor H Gazaway Memorial Fund in “remarks” section. The non-charitable donations should be addressed: Evans High School, Attn: Taylor H. Gazaway Memorial Fund, 4550 Cox Road, Evans, GA 30809.

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Taylor Gazaway


whineLINE In the news today: Weiner Boehner Weiner Boehner Weiner Boehner Weiner Boehner Weiner Boehner Weiner Boehner Weiner Boehner..... I’m just saying, how about we go with a different theme? Someone needs to put a muzzle on the great GHSU, or MCG as we local commoners still refer to it, Prez Azziz. So far, all he has managed to do is insult Augusta time after time. Mr. Azziz, if you don’t like Augusta, the same road that you drove in on will also take you away. OK, tell us about Juneteenth! June 19 is acoming! Can you all please set back up a restaurant listing of some sort? Even though it was not always updated, you had the best listing. Well, I guess the only listing. Please? I wanna find out where to eat. the crime suppression team in richmond county need to be investigated...these narcs are going to give a driver of a vehicle where a controlled substance was found a misdemeanor for disorderly conduct when the pills were found in HIS vechicle, under HIS seat and HE was the driver....kudos to the DA’s office for pursuing charges. Now THEY know how to do their job!!! I am writing with the intentions of seeing a change within the paper. I like the topics and the whine line is really neat. But I would like to see more things about the sneaker culture and

movement. For me its not just a fad I have loved sneakers all my life and I would hope that the paper could display gathering and festivals of such. I think being in south Georgia puts this at a disadvantage but there are sneaker heads everywhere. I am sure that I am not the only person in Augusta with the same ideas and thoughts. This is a big interest to the people in the area they all just need to be reached out to. Just remember the words of L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology: “Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man wants to really make a million dollars , the best way would be to start his own religion.” (heaviest sarcasm). Remember all the hoopla over people slamming their extra big vehicles into that overpass? And other people wanting to close that Olive Road that led to the big church and other places in the neighborhood? Now there are extra flashing lights and sticks hanging down to indicate height? We should try some of those things around MCG to control some of that huge amount of traffic but in no way can you just slam close LaneyWalker Blvd.

whineline@themetrospirit.com

up THUMBS

Ron Johnson is leaving his position as the senior vice president for retail at Apple to join JC Penney. In a related story, Justin Bieber has been accepted to Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College.

down THUMBS

Stay in school! You’ll learn something, like how to play with your back to the basket (Lebron).

How many times do the Commidiots of Augusta have to pull out the dead horse (new baseball stadium) to beat and beat again? Isn’t this abuse of a corpse? Sarah Palin’s toes should all be black for that idiot goof about Paul Revere. Finally, new postcards of Augusta, though actually, they are reproductions of other postcards. Look for them at

METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 5


whineLINE continued...

the Augusta Metropolitan Convention and Visitors Bureau at the downtown museum. Something else to write Augusta news on to send around. Yesterday I heard on my scanner, my police scanner, somebody called and said that there was a man sitting on a porch in his underwear. If that would have been my daddy, he would not have reported the man. He would have gone over, taken off his pants and sat on the porch with the guy. Wow. and I thought Sightings should be called Whitings. That was before I got to the page in last week’s Spirit with all the pictures from June 4. So who at the hospital is updating the wait times in the ER that are on the billboards around town? I sure hope it’s not the doctors and nurses who are supposed to be keeping people from dying in the ER.

6 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

Summer Television What used to be a veritable wasteland of sad reruns and ancient syndicated shows is now a wonderland of bright, shiny newness. Of course, most of what’s offered falls under the catergory of cheesy reality TV, but for every “Jerseylicious” (don’t knock it till you try it) there’s a fantastic scripted series, from returning favorites like HBO’s “True Blood” and TNT’s “The Closer” and “Rizzoli and Isles,” to, um, interesting sounding new series. “ER”’s Noah Wyle fights aliens in “Falling Skies.” Elijah Wood leads a guy in a dog costume around in “Wilfred.” Whatever. We’ll watch it if it means we don’t have to go outside.

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INSI ER INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

More Procurement Issues? The Insider has learned that Studio 3 Design Group’s bid for the Municipal Building project was thrown out due to non compliance. Apparently, the notary signed the form, but did not use her stamp on it. True mistake. But why throw out Studio 3’s bid because of that? According to sources, of the last 12 or 15 awarded projects, over half were awarded to contractors or vendors that did not have a stamped notary. Printed copies of these awards were apparently hand delivered to Grady Smith. If it clearly states that it must be signed and stamped by a notary in order to be in compliance, why are some awarded and some thrown out? The only person who can make that decision is Geri Sams, who’s drowning under all those i’s that weren’t dotted and the t’s that weren’t crossed.

But Where Do I Go to Get My Reputation Back?

When you’re Jordan Zeh, nowhere. He’s pretty much taken care of that over the years himself. But, nevertheless, it is newsworthy that all charges were dropped against him this week relating to an arrest in North Augusta last February for allegedly trying to fill a counterfeit prescription. Apparently, he is now a free man to stick it to the man. METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 7


metro Eric Johnson

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Heating up

License Manager Larry Harris takes aim at illegal teen parties

License Manager Larry Harris is sitting in his air-conditioned office on Marvin Griffin Road, but he’s thinking about the heat. “I know with summer coming it’s getting ready to start picking up,” he says. He’s talking about the illegal teen clubs that pop up in vacant buildings across town. “Kids are out of school and they’re looking for something to do.” Because of his job, Harris is kind of the intersection between the kids and their ability to do something. His department is responsible for licensing the clubs that have catered to them in the past, and it’s also responsible for coming up with the ordinances that try to provide oversight in an increasingly unmanageable world. The existing ordinances, passed in 2009, were an attempt to try to get something on the books regarding teen clubs.

“Up until then it was just more or less coming in and getting a business license and opening up,” he says. “I think we just saw that we needed some regulations because there was no oversight.” The ordinances separated teen clubs into two types — teen social clubs that were governed by curfew laws and Dance Halls that were for kids 18-21. While Harris says the ordinances initially helped establish order and separate the younger kids from the older kids, they haven’t really proved to be all that successful. “My biggest problem with them is the high propensity for violence,” he says. “In every incidence, there’s always been a shooting or weapons confiscated from patrons at those locations.” Urban youth, he says, are living in an ever more dangerous world.

“It says volumes to me that you’ve got kids under 21 years of age with assault weapons and high-powered guns,” he says. “That’s a recipe for disaster.” He mentions one illegal party where over 100 shell casings were found after deputies closed it down. “It’s not that I’m against them having somewhere to go, and in a better situation I would probably be in support [of teen clubs], but with the climate the way it is now… we kind of read every few weeks where somebody under 21 has shot somebody or has been caught with a weapon,” he says. “That’s all you hear and read in the paper.” Ultimately, Harris worries about the wisdom of bringing kids together in such a manner. “I know we need to control it — and we’re going to control it — from a licensing “Some kind of way we’ve got to get them wanting to join the standpoint, but with general population because it’s a small war going on right good conscious can I now and we don’t even realize it. You’ve got a segment support one?” he of the population who are predators and the general asks. “No. But population is the prey.” is there a legal right for an individual to have one? Yes.”

8 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

Given the constraints he’s working under, it seems like there’s only so much he can do. “I guess we’re in a situation where you have to license one and then when something happens you’ve got to close it down,” he says. “But that’s like closing the gate when the cows are out of the barn.” Though there is currently only one Dance Hall application officially in the system (and there are zoning issues with it), Harris knows it’s only a matter of time before they’ll have to evaluate an application. “Any of the ones we can stop before they open we should, given there’s a legal way to do so,” he says. “But I do know that eventually we’ll probably have to allow somebody to open one because it’s a legal right to have a business license.” In a perfect world — or a world perfect for a sensitive license manager — they would be able to look at some subjective criteria and say that for the health and wellbeing of the community they just can’t approve them right now. “But I don’t think we would probably be advised by legal council to do that because it would be real subjective and it would be pretty much limiting one segment of the population,” he says. While he comes across severe, the 29year city employee keeps doubling back to the kids. He cares about them and wonders how to assimilate a generation that seems intent on standing apart. “Unfortunately, we’ve just got a lot of kids who are out here lost and doing these crazy things and they don’t know the consequences of their actions,” he says. “Some kind of way we’ve got to get them wanting to join the general population because it’s a small war going on right now and we don’t even realize it. You’ve got a segment of the population who are predators and the general population is the prey.” Because the immediate threat right now is more focused on the illegal parties, he’s working hard on a set of amendments that hold both the party promoter and the facility accountable. “We want to make sure that we have


somebody who can be held responsible for these events,’ he says. “Because right now they’re kind of out of control and we have people who have rental facilities who are not doing what they should be

doing as far as making sure the facility is safe.” Without excluding non-profits or compromising their fundraising efforts, he wants the amendments to make sure

the people who are having the outlaw teen parties are forced into the fold, and they can move that direction by making sure the venue is included in the process. “If they rent it to somebody and

somebody does something that’s illegal or something that’s wrong, they can be held liable, too,” he says. “So, that will make them do their due diligence and not just say ‘here’s the key.’”

Augusta Humane Society In Trouble Angel Cleary

The CSRA Humane Society says they are two months away from having to close their doors unless they get donations soon. “We’ve seen it bad before, but I’ve never seen it this bad,” says board Vice President Valerie DeVaney. Typically, the organization operates with a reserve fund of about 3-5 months of operating expenses. But in the last year, people haven’t given as much as they have in previous years. “I’m sure it’s because of the recession,” says DeVaney. Charitable giving country-wide is down about 3.5 percent since 2009, but the local chapter is hit considerably harder. Their donations are down about 35 percent. “I think people think we will get the money from somewhere else, but unless people give, we won’t have operating expenses,” says board member Christine Collins. If you’ve seen the commercial montage of weepy eyed puppies gazing into the camera with Sarah McLaughlin lamenting in the background, and you’ve succumbed by pulling out your credit card, unfortunately, your donation won’t ever go to a local organization. National-level humane societies are not affiliated with local chapters. Each organization is responsible for its own mission and philosophy, though they are all generally dedicated to the humane treatment and adoption of

animals. The CSRA Humane Society pays for its operating expenses mostly through charitable donations. Incredibly, a sizeable portion of the budget is paid for out of pocket by the 10-member board. “All the board members [donate] in the $5,000 per year range,” says Jeff DeVaney, board treasurer. That includes monetary donations, donating food, cleaning and veterinary supplies, as well as paying outright for veterinary costs. Monthly expenses run anywhere from $25,000-$30,000 per month — depending on the number of animals and the medical care they need — which tallied a total of $325,000 in 2010. Before choking on that number, for comparison, the Richmond County Animal Services Department has a budget of nearly $1.2 million per year, according to an April open records request done by the Humane Society. Of course, at 22 employees, the city organization has a staff twice as large as the nonprofit, and they handle about 12,000 animals per year. “They are able to deal with more animals because they aren’t no-kill,” says Collins. ”We keep animals for life until they are adopted or until they die.” The local society believes that each animal is a life worth preserving, no matter what the cost. All animals

receive costly flea and heartworm medications, as well as regular vet check-ups. Seventy-five percent of the yearly budget goes to basic animal care, mostly preventative. Sometimes an animal needs extensive medical care, and they’ve even paid for CAT scans or cancer treatments — all in the effort to preserve the animal’s life. City Animal Control euthanizes around 8,000 animals a year, and half of those, by the department’s own estimate, are adoptable. “Part of the problem is that people aren’t adopting, says society board President Raynette Mayer. People want young puppies and kittens, not adult animals. So the shelter is beginning to see the same problems the Baby Boom generation is currently facing — an aging population.

The CSRA Humane Society has been around since 2000, and the average life-span of a dog or cat is anywhere between 10-17 years. “People are less likely to adopt older dogs,” Mayer says. At least 90 percent of the housed animals are adults aged one year and older. She estimates that 30 to 40 percent are “seniors” — age seven years or older. As animals get older, their vet care get more expensive. Meanwhile, the young and free population is sowing its wild oats. “We have larger problems in the South,” says Mayer. A Northern short warm season helps naturally limit the population. Dogs may only breed once and cats twice. In the South, she says, dogs can have two litters per year, and cats three, because of the longer warm season — even breeding into the winter

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season. She says one way to help is to volunteer consistently to clean-up after animals or for pet adoption. “A lot of people like to volunteer for the fun stuff, like the Doggie Walking Brigade,” says DeVaney, “but we have to pay staff to clean out the stalls and to feed regularly.” Another way to help is to adopt a pet during the first and third Saturday of every month or on Wednesdays from 5-7:30 p.m. DeVaney admits that the hours are limited, which is an area in which they could improve. “Some people say we aren’t open for adoption services enough, but [the board members] have full-time day jobs during the week,” says DeVaney. Only fully trained members can process the adoption paperwork, she says, and they volunteer their time during adoption hours. In other words, no board member gets paid. The best way to help the organization, Mayer says, is to donate on a monthly basis. If the organization got 500 members to donate $500 per year, they call it the 500 Club, Mayer says they could easily meet their budget demands. Even still, she says, there will always be abandoned animals. “Some counties have licensing laws for pets, much like car registration, so that if a citizens buys or adopts a pet, they pay a fee,” she says. If people had to pay more for pets that aren’t spayed or neutered, it could effectively control breeding population. Augusta has no such laws on the books and there are none being considered. Thus, the problem of stray animals will not go away anytime soon. Until the government steps in with laws to prevent excessive breeding, says Mayer, and the CSRA Humane Society will always need donations. The following are two fundraisers whose proceeds will, all or in part, go toward the CSRA Humane Society. For more information on how to donate your time or money, call 706-261-7387 or visit csrahumanesociety.org. Artists for the Animals at Le Chat Noir theater on Saturday, July 16, at 7:30 p.m. features dance, music, and spoken word. Tickets are $15. Call 706-7223322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. Until August, buy PuppyLocks feather fur extensions at Modish Salon and Spa for medium to long-haired dogs and they will donate 10 percent of the proceeds to the CSRA Humane Society.

10 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

photography: jordanWHITE


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WEIRD

Uneasy alliance More sparring over the charter

While the Administrative Services Committee slogged through the legalese regarding an update to the procedures and guidelines regarding the procurement process, Augusta government once again seemed to be caught in a Chinese finger puzzle. The more it tried to work out a solution, the more entrenched they got: Seems the proposal as it stood would have eliminated three positions. Other than Bill Lockett, the rest of the commissioners seemed surprised that such seemingly simple changes had their tendrils dug so deep. General Council Andrew MacKenzie seemed to get some digs into certain members of the commission by emphatically refusing to touch the charter change. In fact, he went so far as to point out that he quoted the charter, “since it’s not been the will of this body at this point in time to amend the charter.” In part, the issue revolved around some department heads that would either keep their jobs or find themselves in the unemployment line. Later in the debate, Lockett challenged Administrator Fred Russell about the motivations of the move. “I understand that this is designed to eliminate several current employees,” he said. “Is that correct?” “No sir,” Russell replied evenly. “But I’m not so sure you can have it both ways. You can change the charter and add these positions as separate and distinct, as I would recommend you do. Or you can leave it the way it is, which basically says that all that’s one person.” Just when it seemed as if Russell had maneuvered Lockett into an unwinnable position — charter change or the jobs — Lockett’s commission sparring partner Jerry Brigham jumped into the fray. “Is it my understanding that if I vote for this I’m voting for personnel changes, or is it my understanding that if I vote for this I’m voting for the procurement amendment change?” MacKenzie launched into a long and elaborate explanation about how the vote was really one in the same, at which point Brigham had had enough. “I’m tired of the shell game,” he started. “I want to change the purchasing code. I don’t want to get into anything about changing personnel right now. I want the code changed and I want to

t h e

figure out how we’re going to do that without going about changing the charter or anything else.” And he said he wanted to do it simply. “I want to change the technicalities of the purchasing code that I can change right now and I think I can get a majority vote on it. I don’t want to be involved in having debate on where we’re moving people around.” He reiterated the commission’s will to make the technical changes needed to minimize the turmoil that’s constantly surrounding the procurement process. “I think you have a majority that wants to have the purchasing code technicalities that we need to be changed, changed,” he said. “If we can figure out a way to do that, it may not be perfect, but it is the charter we’re dealing with. I don’t think we need to be up here trying to eliminate positions by passing this code. I think we need to be down and dirty and correct the things that we need to correct that have not been corrected.” He paused then to make it clear he was no longer just thinking out loud, but that he was speaking directly to MacKenzie. “I don’t know how you’re going to do that,” he said. “You’re a lawyer. You’re much smarter than I am with legal matters.” At that time, Lockett perked up. “Is that put in the form of a motion, Mr. Brigham?” “Lockett,” Brigham said. “If I knew what kind of motion I was making to do that, I would do it.” Then Lockett took a moment to take aim once again at Russell and MacKenzie. “There’s been a trust issue on this commission for some time, especially in Administrative Services Committee, because we’re the ones who get all the dirty work,” he said. “I’m really concerned about the small print. I’m concerned about those things that aren’t said. I’m willing to say that many of my colleagues didn’t realize that this was going to have an impact of some of our employees.” The lack of trust, he said, was taking its toll. “A year and a half ago I had an afro,” he said. “You can see what happened to my hair now.”

In Chinese legend, tea leaves picked by fairies using not their hands but just their mouths yielded brewed tea that would bring prosperity and cure diseases, and now the historic, picturesque Jiuhua Mountain Tea Plantation (in Gushi, Henan province) has promised to hire up to 10 female virgins to provide the equivalently pure and delicate tea leaves, picked with the teeth and dropped into small baskets worn around the women’s necks. According to an April report in London’s Daily Mail, only virgins with strong necks and lips (and a bra size of C-cup or larger), and without visible scars or blemishes, will be considered for the equivalent-$80-a-day jobs (an almost unheard-of salary in China, especially for agricultural field work). Last month, News of the Weird reminded readers that bizarre human adventures repeat themselves again and again. Here are a few more recent selections of previous themes: In April, academic researchers at Boston College reported that art gallery patrons correctly differentiated serious works from squiggles only about 60-70 percent of the time. Commented one survey subject, apparently realizing his confusion: “The chimpanzee’s stuff is good. I like how he plays with metaphors about depth of field, but I think I like this guy (Mark) Rothko a little bit better.” British welfare benefits are being reduced in two years, but for now, work-shunning parents who blithely navigate a series of government “support” payments can make a nice living for themselves. Kathy Black, 45, of East Hanningfield, Essex, with 16 children by six fathers thus qualifies for the equivalent of at least $1,000 a week (the take-home pay of someone earning the equivalent of $68,000 a year), and

child support from one of the fathers adds even more to her account. Black’s second husband, her 17-year-old son and her 22-year-old daughter spilled secrets of her irresponsibility to a Daily Mail reporter in February. Least Competent DIY Homeowners: Reports still frequently emerge of homeowners battling household pests, yet only creating an even worse problem (as if the pests ultimately outsmart them). In recent cases, for example, Robert Hughes tried to oust the squirrels from his townhome in Richton Park, Ill., in March, but his smoke bomb badly damaged his unit and his neighbor’s. (Firefighters had to rip open the roof in the two units to battle the blaze.) Two weeks after that, in Mesa, Ariz., a man set his attic on fire trying to get rid of a beehive with brake fluid and a cigarette lighter.

Updates Christopher Bjerkness, 33, was arrested in May in Duluth, Minn., and charged with burglary after being discovered midday in the physical-therapy room at the Chester Creek Academy. The room contained inflatable exercise balls that appeared to be undisturbed, but Bjerkness has been arrested at least twice before, in 2005 (reported in News of the Weird) and 2009, because of his self-described compulsion to slash inflatable balls. When News of the Weird first mentioned buzkashi (1989), it was merely the “national game” of Afghanistan, resembling hockey on horseback, with a dead goat (or calf, which is more durable) as the puck, carried by a team and deposited in a circle guarded by opponents (and played largely ruleless). As warlords’ power has grown, and the Taliban has departed, and Western money and commerce have been introduced, team owners now bid on the best players, some of whom also have lucrative product-endorsement contracts and are treated as Afghan royalty. Said champion player Jahaan Geer, 33, to a Wall Street Journal reporter in April, “I used to practice buzkashi on donkeys. Now I drive a Lexus!” David Truscott, 41, was convicted in Britain’s Truro Crown Court in February of violating a restraining order to keep away from the Woodbury House Farm in Redruth, Cornwall, after being caught there two times previously wallowing in the farm’s manure pit while masturbating. Said the prosecutor, “This is the only place (Truscott) seeks to gratify himself in this particular manner...” METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 11


It’s Hotel Time! Metro Spirit gets hypnotized

Publisher’s Assistant Emily Stone is a pretty 25-year-old with a master’s degree in public health-epidemiology, and she’s just spent the last hour and a half up on Coyote’s stage as volunteer in a comedy show involving hypnosis. You know, the kind of volunteer who ends up barking at the moon or shouting, “I love nookie” at the top of her lungs. Our idea was to get Stone up there on stage, get her hypnotized and then get her back to the table so she could give us the inside scoop, all without blowing her cover. Stone performs like a pro, and we can hardly contain our excitement when she returns. “Was it real?” her friend Jamie Fulmer asks as soon as she arrives back at the table. “Or was it a sham?” “It was a sham,” Stone says, shaking her head as she takes her seat back among us. “I was awake the entire time.” With that, our experiment seems like a long but entertaining waste of a Thursday night. But then Fulmer holds out her digital camera and shows Stone a picture of her sitting amorously in another woman’s lap. “This is what we really looked like?” Stone asks. She leans into the bright little camera screen and pushes the button that allows her to flip from picture to picture. “I remember sitting on her lap, but not being held like that.” On the screen, the other woman cradles Stone, who had been coached by Conrad to treat her as if she’d just given her the most passionate kiss of her life. The picture obviously unsettles her, and soon she leans back into her chair and sighs. “I’m so confused right now.” Suddenly, our little experiment is back in business. Gary Conrad’s fusion of hypnosis and comedy was funny enough, but it was made so much better by the debriefing. After all, how often to you get to talk to someone who can tell you whether or not hypnotism is real? The more Stone relived her experience, however, the more obvious it became that our definition of real might not be large enough to encompass what just happened.

12 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

“Honestly, the first 10 minutes of it all I wanted to do was leave,” she said, referring to her time spent in the slumped-over chain of volunteers that filled the stage. “My arm fell asleep and he kept saying ‘Shake your pillow,’ and I would not shake. I didn’t want to.” You can’t really blamer her — the pillow she was supposed to shake was essentially the really big guy she was sleeping on. “That guy was really sweating, too,” she said. “I wanted him [Conrad] to tap me and tell me to get out of there, and then when we opened our eyes, I was surprised there were so few of us.” Throughout the whole “pillow shaking” process, Conrad, a popular performer who has appeared on “The View” and has an avid following, culled the volunteers down to the small group he would keep up there for the rest of the performance, and, in spite of her doubts, Stone made the cut And the reward for those making the cut was hearing your shoes talk or doing an impromptu Pee Wee Herman dance or participating in a series of fart jokes. “Did you see me laughing the whole time?” she asked when someone brought up the fart fest. It was true — when Conrad said the magic word that caused the people around her to pass gas, she just sat there and laughed, though it was hard to tell whether she was laughing at being up there on stage or at the absurdity of being up there on stage as those around her ripped off fart after fart. But when Conrad turned the tables by saying the special word that caused her to be the culprit, the look on her face became exactly the one you’d expect — uncomfortably embarrassed and a little rattled. “Really?” she asked. “I looked like that?” In fact, she did. And at times she looked like a little girl who didn’t quite understand what was going on around her. She, however, remembered it differently. “Honestly, the way I was feeling, I was surprised he kept me up there, because I felt coherent,” she said And that’s the way the debriefing went

— moments of absolute certainty that she was in complete control, that she was just playing along so she wouldn’t be outed as a pretender, followed by moments where she wasn’t sure what to think. “I think you want to believe it and you want to do what he says,” she said. “And then maybe you are in this state of pure relaxation that you really do start doing stuff.” Like propositioning the audience? “No, I had to psyche myself up to do that,” she said. “And he flat out told me to take his microphone and ask the sound guy to dance.”

“It’s hotel time,” were her actual words, followed by a seductive little shimmy. “And what about when he had me stand on the chair,” I asked. “What did you see then?” She hesitated slightly before answering. “Just you standing on the chair,” she replied. Since at the time I was standing on the chair Conrad had her conditioned to think the men in the audience were wearing women’s underwear, I’m choosing to ignore her hesitation and take her at her word.


Two Wheels in a Four Wheel World METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 13


Cyclists and motorcycles alike are wary of cars, despite a new law

Rider Dave Warren was riding down Wrightsboro Road almost a year ago when an oncoming minivan pulled in front of him on the way into a store. “I tried stopping, but it wasn’t going to happen,” Warren says. “I felt the limit of the stopping power of a bike at 45 mph. There’s a whole lot of weight on a small surface area. You’re not going to stop.” He tried briefly to swerve, but ended up with the motorcycle on its side. “Some people talk about laying a bike down, but that was not my intent,” he says. “I tried to just use my back breaks, but I realized I couldn’t stop, so I touched the front break, and anytime you lock that front wheel you’re going down. It just folds right under you.” Laying a bike down at 45 mph, however, can have serious implications to your wellbeing. “I was not going to lose my leg from being pinned under a bike sliding down the road,” he says. “As soon as I saw I was going down, somehow I ended up on top of the bike. So the bike is sliding on its side and I’m standing on top of it.” But after a moment of sliding like some kind of showboating stuntman, the bike grabbed the pavement, which launched

14 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

Warren into the air toward the minivan, which had inexplicably come to a complete stop in the road. Because of that initial swerve, the trajectory of his flight allowed him to pass just a couple feet behind the minivan. “Flying through the air, I said, ‘I do not want to do this. I do not want to land,’” he says. “But I knew I didn’t have a choice.” He tumbled to the center lane, stood up and collected himself. Luckily, neither the bike nor the car he remembered was following about 40 feet behind him came back up over him. He was bleeding, but unbroken. The woman in the minivan, however, was not about to admit fault. Initially uncooperative, she was eventually cited for the accident. Her insurance company did accept responsibility. That’s not always the case, though, which is why rider and attorney Richard Ingram tells riders that they need to take a rider’s course for more reasons than simple safety. “As an attorney, I tell people to do it because you’re going to be on the short end of the stick with society and juries

and insurance companies,” he says. “They’re going to say you were at fault.” According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, a total of 4,281 motorcyclists died in crashes in 2009. Rider fatalities, which had been declining since the early 1980s, began to increase in 1998 and continued through 2008. The 2009 number represents a 16 percent decrease since 2008, but still accounts for 13 percent of all motor vehicle crash deaths. Ingram says the typical accident he sees in his practice is like Warren’s — a car turning in front of a motorcycle. “They just don’t notice us,” he says. After the accident, assuming the rider managed to avoid life threatening injuries, the car driver often tells the motorcycle rider he was at fault regardless of the situation. “‘You should have noticed me. You were going too fast,’ they’ll say. That’s what you get as a rider right after your wreck,” Ingram says. Now that the warm weather’s here, bicycles are hitting the road in seemingly greater numbers than ever before, and cars are having to once again come to terms with them. Maybe it’s the


economy, or maybe more people are simply appreciating the health and recreational benefits of biking. Either way, bicycle riders are out there battling for respect, and the accident reports

seem to be coming in at a quicker pace than ever. Almost before the area has had the chance to mourn the loss of Matthew Burke, the orthopedic surgeon who

died after being hit by Daniel Johnson in Beech Island last October, comes word of the death of Christina Genco, a 22-year-old woman who was riding along with 32 other riders, including Jeremy

Story of Evans, when she was hit by an SUV in Alabama. The group was on a ride to raise awareness of affordable housing issues for the needy. While not strictly a local death, the local connection and the sense of community the riders share caused the loss to hit home. “The thing about it — even without a local connection, because cycling is so near and dear to us, if it happens in Alabama or it happens in Colorado, it’s just something that really strikes you in the heart,” says Randy DuTeau, events manager for the Augusta Sports Council. A 30-year rider, he was close friends with Burke and is keenly aware of the issues taking place in the cycling world. “You feel like if you were riding with that person or if you biked in the community where that other rider was killed that you would probably be friends,” he says. While the recently passed Georgia House Bill 101, which requires a threefoot passing distance around all bikes, will help keep separation between bikes and other vehicles, he says no matter how good a law it might be, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be safe just because there’s something on the books, though he admits something is certainly better than nothing. “You’re seeing a lot more bike-friendly

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laws out there,” he says. “But the reality is that it’s going to take the message out there that we’re on the road. We are there legally and that needs to be respected.” In spite the inherent vulnerability of bikes and the way in which they’re outnumbered, DuTeau says that respect is a two-way street: If bikes have an expectation of people in cars, then cars should also have an expectation of cyclists. “For the longest time, as long as no one was watching, it was easy to blow through stop signs or ride three abreast,” he says. “Now, the reality is that law enforcement on both sides of the river

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are watching bicyclists, too. As well they should be.” DuTeau steps carefully around the collision last October that claimed the life of Burke four months later, though he says the incident is still forefront in everyone’s mind. “To see some of the horrible things that were written with such callous disregard for his family is just appalling,” he says. “It served as a very serious wake-up call for the cycling community.” Johnson was charged with reckless homicide. DuTeau says that one of the biggest things car drivers can do to make the roads safer is simply exercise a little patience.


“Having to be patient with a cyclist is no different than having to be patient with anything else on the road,” he says. And while he’s all for bikes being treated as traffic equals, that sense of equality doesn’t extend to the idea that bikes should be tagged and taxed the way cars are. He calls such an idea a nuisance tax. “Because someone has to wait behind a cyclist for an oncoming car to pass before they can go around, instantly they think I need to be taxed for that,” he says. The tax idea, he says, represents a greater truth. “The reality is, there are people out there who don’t want us on the road and they’re not going to extend us the courtesy we’re due and the courtesy we’re afforded by the law,” he says. And given the local exposure bikes are receiving through the major competitions that are drawn to Augusta, the number of bikes on the road is likely to increase. Starting June 22, the USA Cycling National Championships are coming to Augusta. “We’re looking at 900 athletes coming from around the United States for this five-day event,” he says. “What will happen is that when the event leaves, more people will have been exposed to cycling and you’ll see the community grow. You’ll see a lot of excitement.” In this case, excitement equals more bikes on the road. After the Ironman, a triathlon group formed with more than 100 members right out of the gate. Some, however, still have a difficult time coming to grips with the crash that claimed Burke’s life. Since then, DuTeau says he has only been on his road bike four times. “I’ve only recently gone on a road ride by myself,” he says. “I was scared,

honestly. I had lost my nerve. It’s slowly getting back, but I make sure I’ve got my flashing light on my helmet and a flashing light on my seat post. Even in daytime, those things are flashing.” Such anxiety underscores the feeling of vulnerability all two-wheeled riders feel. Their vehicles have no steel frames or side impact airbags, only arms and legs. It’s your body that will catch the impact, and though it took him quite awhile to want to get on his motorcycle again, now Warren not only considers himself a stronger rider because of the accident, but he says he enjoys it more. “It’s a developed skill to feel like I can be more aware of the danger, which allows me to enjoy that sense of freedom,” he says. “I feel like it’s an earned freedom.” DuTeau says that many local bicyclists are riding scared, too. “People did lose their nerve,” he says. “It was traumatizing. This wasn’t a faceless individual — this was a friend to a ton of people.” From that tragic situation, however, Wheel Movement, a local bike advocacy group, was formed. Currently working on its articles of incorporation, the organization, which promotes safe riding practices, will be rolling out its logo in August. In the meantime, riders can fill out a survey on the group’s website (wheelmovement. blogspot.com) and help formulate a plan of action. As for Warren, he considers himself a survivor. “People who survive riding a bike over the years develop a set of skills that are defensive,” he says. “Every vehicle in your area is potential jeopardy. In a car you don’t think of that.”

METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 17


Broad Street Rumble Two businesses spar after shots are fired

photography: jWhite Oh, how the mighty have fallen

BEAT

Poor Ryan Klesko: One day he’s leading the Atlanta Braves to a World Series victory with more than 20 home runs in a season, the next he’s pulling a gun on an ex-business partner in the parking lot of a Waffle House. Okay, so the time span is a little longer, say 15 years or so, but you get the idea. While events have remained calm on the local Waffle House front, a lawsuit filed by James McDaniel stirred things up last week by alleging that, last summer, the former Braves go-to guy pointed a loaded gun at his head and threatened him and his family. It all went down, McDaniel said, at the Warner Robins Waffle House. The relationship between McDaniel and Klesko hadn’t always been so tempestuous. The two, along with Richard Spear, began a partnership in 2009 that included Klesko and Spear providing money to McDaniel, who managed projects and provided labor for them. Those good feelings didn’t last long and, after Klesko and Spear split, McDaniel said they badmouthed him to anyone they could. The relationship finally came to a head where all good relationships meet their beginnings and ends: in a brightly colored booth over coffee and eggs. Why, we may never know, but as McDaniel (much) later told police, “[Klesko] told me that if I ever screw him, mess with him, steal from him, leave him..., he would kill me.” Aaahhh, the familiar refrain Waffle House waitresses everywhere know by heart. Just not usually in that context.

18 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

After 20 years living on the 500 block of Broad Street, J. Roy Davenport has had enough, and he’s blaming the new kid on the block, The Grill at Boston’s. This, of course, is the same block that hosts Augusta’s sanctioned skin trade. “This bar opened just over a year ago and has been, in our opinion, nothing but trouble,” Davenport wrote to District 1 Commissioner Matt Aitken. “There have been numerous fights and other disturbances. To our knowledge, [she] has never served a single serving of food.” The last straw came on May 11, when a fight escalated to gunshots, with one of the bullets going through the front window. Among other charges, Damien Marquez McKie, 21, was charged with aggravated assault, criminal damage to property in the first degree and two counts of possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. Spurred by Davenport’s complaint, Aitken brought the issue before the Public Service committee looking for some answers. “I just wanted to get a report on exactly what’s going on there,” he said. “There are a lot of clubs on Broad Street, and this is the first time since I’ve been commissioner that there have been gunshots.” While the sheriff’s office didn’t have a representative at the meeting, License Manager Larry Harris said he

wasn’t aware of any move against the bar’s liquor license, which Davenport wants revoked. “Normally, in those situations, if they think that it rises to the level to bring before you all, we get a letter to that effect,” Harris said. “As of yet, we have not received anything of that nature.” Davenport, who, along with his wife Wanta, owns Artistic Perceptions gallery, told the commission he was concerned for his safety and the safety of his customers. “We sometimes have shows where we go past 6 o’clock in the evening,” he said. “And for them to have that kind of situation makes it difficult for us to conduct business.” Pamela Hall, Boston’s owner, said this was the only incident or altercation. “It is my goal to provide a safe and fun place for the people of Augusta to come to,” she said. “We open up at 6, they close at 6. Their customers are gone before we are even open. Our customers actually don’t come in until 8.” Davenport, who said in his letter to Aitken that he had confronted Hall about other fights, said one fight was so intense that people were throwing furniture out the front window. “I have no problem with her being in business,” he said. “That’s her life. But I don’t want her business conflicting with our business.” The commission is waiting for a report from the sheriff’s office, which is expected by next committee meeting.


Still a Honky Tonk Girl It’s not often that a 72-year-old country star can take the No. 2 position in Rolling Stone magazine’s top albums of the year, but that’s exactly what Loretta Lynn did in 2004. Her “Van Lear Rose” almost beat out Kanye West for the top spot. Anyone surprised by that, or by the fact that the album was produced by Raconteur Jack White, doesn’t know Loretta Lynn very well. The First Lady of Country Music is, and always has been, a bit of a rebel. Now nearing 80 years old, this icon was married at 13, became a mom shortly after that and didn’t get into the music biz until she was 25. When she did get into the business, she made quite an impression, and reportedly holds the record as the country artist who has had the most songs banned from radio play. That was during the 1960s, when singing about the birth control pill or the Vietnam War was frowned upon, as was having a song called “Rated X.” Has Lynn mellowed with age? What do you think? Loretta Lynn Bell Auditorium Saturday, June 18 7:30 p.m. $37.50-$57.50 706-722-3521

METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 19


calendar Arts

Art at Lunch and Jewelry Trunk Show, with Cumberland Island’s Gogo Ferguson, is Friday, June 17, at noon at the Morris Museum of Art. Ferguson designed the wedding bands for the late John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. Members, $10; non-members, $14. Lunch by A Catered Affair. Preregistration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Creative Weaving on a No-Cost Budget is an adult class at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art that meets Tuesday-Friday, June 21-24, from 9 a.m.4 p.m. Pre-registration required. $166.50 for members; $185 for non-members; $5 supply fee. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

Aiken Artist Guild GalleryHeart Gallery Opening Reception is Thursday, June 16, from 6-9 p.m. The exhibit includes portraits of children in need of adoption made by local photographers. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforarts.org. Philip Juras: The Southern Frontier, landscapes inspired by Bartram’s travels, shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. The Eclectic Works of Joe Rob is an exhibition that shows on the third floor of the Headquarters Branch Library until July 8. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. ASU/NYC Art Exhibition shows through Sunday, June 19, at the Morris Museum of Art. It includes approximately 40 pieces of art from 15 art students who participated in ASU’s Study Away Tour of New York City last

20 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

December. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. The Charleston Renaissance: Works on Paper, an exhibition of more than two dozen watercolors and etchings by Ellen Day Hale, Alfred Hutty, Alice Ravenel, Huger Smith, Anna Heyward Taylor and Elizabeth O’Neill Verner, shows at the Morris Museum of Art through June 26. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Art Greene Photography Exhibit is at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through June 30. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.

Music

Music in the Park Concert Series, featuring Carey Murdock and NoStar, is Thursday, June 16, at 7 p.m. in the verandah at Maude Edenfield Park in North Augusta. Call 706-737-1444 or visit naartscouncil.org. The Temptations Revue, featuring opening act Palmetto Groove, is at the USC-Aiken Convocation Center Friday, June 17, at 6:30 p.m. $17-$27; sponsorship tables, $800-$1,000. Call 866-722-8877 or visit georgialinatix.com. Loretta Lynn at the Bell Auditorium is Saturday, June 18, at 7:30 p.m. $37.50-$57.50. Call 706-722-3521 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. CandlelightJazzSeries,featuring jazz musicians the Will Goble Trio, is Sunday, June 19, at 8 p.m. at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre. Participants are invited to bring seating and picnics. $6. Call 706-495-6238. ApplebyConcertSeries,featuring The Paul Roberts Band, is Tuesday, June 21, at 8 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Sugarland: The Incredible Machine Tour is Thursday, June 23, at 7:30 p.m. at the James Brown Arena. Sugarland will perform along with special guests Ellis Paul. $24.50$54.50. Call 706-722-3521 or visit

Cumberland Island’s Gogo Ferguson is a jewelry designer who finds inspiration in usual aspects of nature. Specifically animal bones. Whether it’s rattlesnake ribs, armadillo shells or raccon pecker bones (yes, that’s what she calls them), Ferguson will make jewelry out of them. She visits the Morris Museum of Art on Friday, June 17, as part of the Art at Lunch series, with a trunk show following. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. Hopelands Summer Concert Series is each Monday evening, MayAugust, at 7 p.m. at Hopelands Gardens in Aiken. Call 803-642-7630 or visit aiken.net/hopelandsgarden.html.

Literary

Brown Bag Book Club meets Thursday, June 16, at 11:30 a.m. at the Columbia County Library to discuss “The Road” by Cormac MacCarthy. Call 706-863-1946 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Monday Night Book Club meets Monday, June 20, at 6:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Library to discuss “Fall of the Giants” by Ken Follett. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. CSRA Writers will meet Monday, June 20, at 6:30 p.m. at Borders Books, Music, Movies and Café. Writers needing a support group are invited to attend and bring 10 copies of a manuscript to be critiqued. Call 706-836-7315. NOOK Tutorials at Barnes and

Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a NOOKcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Theater

“Moonlight & Magnolias,” a comedy by Ron Hutchinson and a production of the Edgefield County Theatre Company, is Friday-Sunday, June 17-19, at 8 p.m. at the William Miller Bouknight Theatre. $15. Call 803637-3833. “Amadeus” shows June17,18, 23, 24 and 25 at 8 p.m. at Le Chat Noir. This period piece portrays the remarkable and unremarkable lives of the composers Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Antonio Salieri. Call 706-722-3322 or visit lcnaugusta.com. “Don’t Tell Daddy,” a Raisin AJ Production, is Saturday, June 18, at 7 p.m. at the Imperial Theatre. $22.50$26.50. Call 706-722-8341 or visit imperialtheatre.com.

Dance

Friday Dance is every Friday


If you haven’t been tested for HIV, the Ryan White Outreach Team wants to help by of fering free testing in June at locations throughout Augusta in honor of National HIV Testing Day. The first is Wednesday, June 22, at Harriburg Health Care from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Call 706-721-4463 or visit csrasafetynet.org.

night from 8:30-11 p.m. at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. $5. Call 706854-8888 or visit thebdc.us. Christian Singles Dance, for ages 18 and over, is every Saturday night at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans from 7-11 p.m. $8-$10. Call 706-8548888 or visit thebdc.us.

Flix

“For Colored Girls” shows Thursday, June 16, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org. “DasBoot,”directedbyWolfgang Petersen, shows Thursday, June 16, at 6:30 p.m. as part of Thursday Night Foreign Film Series at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Shrek Forever After” shows Friday, June 17, at 7 p.m. as part of the Movies Under the Stars Series at the Columbia County Ampitheatre presented by MCGHealth Children’s Medical Center. Free. Call 706-722-5736 or visit mcghealth.org. Old School Movie Marathon shows Saturday, June 18, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Movies include “Claudine,” “Cotton Comes to Harlem” and “Uptown Saturday Night.” Popcorn and soda provided. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Alpha & Omega” shows Tuesday, June 21, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org.

“The Missouri Breaks” shows Tuesday, June 21, at 6:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Center Blood Drive is Friday, June 17, from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Walmart in Evans. Call 706-737-4551 or visit shepeardblood.org.

“Freakonomics”showsThursday, June 23, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Saturday Market at the River, located at 8th Street Plaza, downtown Augusta, is each Saturday, April 16Oct. 29, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Visit

“Desipicable Me” shows Friday, June 24, at 7 p.m. as part of the Movies Under the Stars Series at the Columbia County Ampitheatre presented by MCGHealth Children’s Medical Center. Free. Call 706-722-5736 or visit mcghealth.org. “Vanishing Georgia” shows throughout June at the Augusta Museum of History as part of the museum’s History Theater Film Series. Free with admission. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

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Health

American Red Cross Babysitter’s Training is Thursday, June 16, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Students ages 11 to 15 learn about leadership, safety, basic care and first aid in order to provide

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Special Events

Downtown After 6 Beach Blast is Thursday, June 16, in downtown Aiken. Sponsoring businesses will stay open late. After the shops close, Newberry Street Festival Center is turned into Newberry Beach, complete with sand, beach music and dancing. Call 803-649-2221 or visit downtownaiken.com. Second Annual Ms. Augusta Rugby Swimsuit Competition with False Flag at The Country Club is Thursday, June 16, after the Augusta GreenJackets’ Thirsty Thursday baseball game. Email arj6402@yahoo.com. Shepeard Community Blood

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safe, responsible care. $30 fee includes babysitting text and certificate. Call 803641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com. Blood Cancer/Stem Cell Support Group will meet Thursday, June 16, from 5:30-7 p.m. in the MCGHealth Cancer Center’s first floor community room. Call 706-721-1634 or visit mcghealth.org. Childbirth 101 is Thursday, June 16, from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. This class provides a basic overview of the signs and symptoms of labor as well as the stages of labor and delivery. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Breastfeeding Class is Tuesday, June 21, from 7-9 p.m. at MCGHealth’s ambulatory care center, room 5306. Class is free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit mcghealth.org. The Ryan White Outreach Team will offer free testing throughout June in honor of National HIV Testing Day at locations around Augusta. Results available in 20 minutes. Get tested from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. June 22 at Harrisburg Health Care, from noon-6 p.m. June 25 at Augusta Pride, from 2-6 p.m. June 26 at the National Guard Armory, and from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. June 28 at Mercy Ministries. Call 706-721-4463 or visit csrasafetynet.org. Food Safety Awareness, a nutrition seminar at the Wilson Family Y, is Thursday, June 23, at 6 p.m. This seminar is hosted by Doctor’s Hospital to help build healthier habits. Free to members; $10 to non-members. Visit the familyy.org. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class, sponsored by the CSRA Parkinson Support Group and The Family Y, is a group class designed specifically for ambulatory participants affected by Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease. Held each Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y indoor pool. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

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Joint Efforts, an informational class about knee and hip pain causes and treatments sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday at 11 a.m. at Augusta Orthopaedic Clinic. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Support

Weight Loss Support Group, open to anyone suffering from ailments due to obesity, meets Thursday, June 16, at 7 p.m. Call 706-481-7298 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

YoungWomenwithBreastCancer meets Friday, June 17, at 12:30 p.m. Call 706-774-4141 or visit universityhealth.org. Skip To My Lupus meets at Aiken Regional Medical Center’s Dining Room A on Thursday, June 19, from 7-9 a.m. Call 803-282-9193 or visit aikenregional.com. Look Good, Feel Better Support Group at Aiken Regional Medical Center meets Monday, June 20, from 1-2:30 p.m. Pre-registration required. Call 803-6416044 or visit aikenregional.com. Oral, Head and Neck Cancer Support Group will meet Tuesday, June 21, from 6-7:30 p.m. at the MCGHealth Cancer Center. For more information call 706-721-0550 or visit mcghealth.org. A.W.A.K.E. sleep apnea support group meets Thursday, June 23, from 7-9 p.m. Call 706-721-0793 or visit mcghealth.org. Moms Connection meets every Tuesday from 1-2 p.m. at 1225 Walton Way (the old Fairway Ford dealership), room 1010C. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit mcghealth.org. Joint Efforts, a informational class about knee and hip pain causes and treatments sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday at 11 a.m. at Augusta Orthopaedic Clinic. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Weight Loss Surgery Support Group meets each Wednesday at 1:30 p.m. in Suite 110 of Medical Office Building 2, 3624 J. Dewey Gray Circle, on the Doctors Hospital campus. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Education

Beginning Word I Computer Class is Tuesday, June 21, from 6-7 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-7226275 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginning Word II Computer Class is Thursday, June 23, from 6-7 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-7226275 or visit ecgrl.org. Sierra Club Meeting is Tuesday, June 21, at 6:30 p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Church meeting room. The owner of Feathered Friends Forever in Harlem, Ga., will present a program describing the bird rescue facility which is home to over 800 exotic birds. In


addition to bringing some live birds, he will explain how their efforts have improved the health and lives of the birds. Contact Sam Booher at sbooher@ aol.com.

at 5:30 p.m. at Nacho Mama’s. Threeand four-mile routes are available for all ages and abilities of runners. Call 706-414-4059 or email jim@ enduranceconcepts.com.

Saturday Historic Trolley Tour, every Saturday, begins at the Museum of History and tours historic downtown Augusta from 1-3:15 p.m. Reservations required. All seats are $12. 706-724-4067.

Hockey Skills & Drills is every Thursday from 6-8 p.m. at Augusta Ice Sports Center. $10-$15. Call 706-8630061 or visit augustaicesports.com.

Benefits

Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com.

Sports-Outdoors

Tai Chi for Beginners is Thursday, June 16, at 4 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Led by Jacquelyn Hedman. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. The Augusta GreenJackets play the Asheville Tourists ThursdaySaturday, June 16-18, at 7:05 p.m. and Sunday, June 19, at 5:35 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. Tickets are $1-$13. Call 706-922-WINS or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com. Moonlight Music Cruise will be held on Friday, June 17, at 7 p.m. and features entertainment by Fred Williams. $25 per seat. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com. Adaptive Water-Skiing Day, for children and adults with disabilities, is Saturday, June 18, from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Fort Gordon Recreation Area at Lake Thurmond. This event, sponsored by MCGHealth and Champions Made From Advertisity, is free, but preregistration is required. Call 706-3642422 or visit cmfa.us. Augusta Elks Annual Golf Tournament at Jones Creek Golf Club is Thursday, June 23, at 1 p.m. Free barbecue dinner for the players follows the tournament. Pre-registration required. Call 706-564-4314 or e-mail patdb1946@aol.com. Augusta Rugby Football Club meets every Tuesday and Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch. New players are welcome. Email arj6402@yahoo.com. Group Run begins each Tuesday

Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-2158181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com.

Photos like this one of Dustin are included in the Aiken Center for the Arts’ Heart Gallery Exhibition, a collaboration between local photographers and the South Carolina Department of Social Services. Photographs included in the exhibition are of children currently up for adoption. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org.

Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-7246777 or visit andyjordans.com.

Nature Photography at Reed Creek Nature Park, for ages 12 and up, is Saturday, June 18, at 4 p.m. Pre-registration required. Free for members and $5 per child for nonmembers. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@ wrh.org.

Last Minute Gift! Father’s Day Boxes with Deborah is Saturday, June 18, from 1:30-4:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. $5 materials fee. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered daily at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday Sunset Cruises, lasting three hours, are at 5 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Kids

Special Story Times at Pendleton King Park with K-9 Officer Gary will be Thursday, June 16, at 10 a.m. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Fire Department Visit with Lieutenant Bradley is Friday, June 17, at 9:30 a.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. How Does the Earth Work? at Reed Creek Nature Park, for ages 7 and up, is Friday, June 17, at 4:30 p.m. Pre-registration required. Free for members and $2 per child for nonmembers. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

Time with Tina Terry, Puppets, Stories and Snacks is Saturday, June 18, at 2:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Parent’s Night Out at the Family Y of Aiken County, for ages 2-12, is Saturday, June 18, from 6-9:30 p.m. $10 per child for Family Y members; $15 per child for non-members. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Art of All Kinds! Summer Camp at Episcopal Day School is MondayFriday, June 20-24, from 9-11 a.m. Preregistration required. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Embroidery Craft with the Embroiderers’ Guild, in which children ages 8-12 learn the art of embroidery with a craft project, is Monday, June 20, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Call 706-722-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Japan: The Land of the Rising Sun Craft Workshop, in which children ages 6-10 will learn the Japanese art of origami and enjoy tea and rice,

is Monday, June 20, at 3 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org. Getting Started Workshop, a young adult program in which participants will learn the basics of scripting and filming, is at Diamond Lakes Branch Library on Monday, June 20, at 5 p.m. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Flower Hunting on the Southern Frontier with Miss Holly from the Morris Museum of Art, including a story and hands-on art project, is Tuesday, June 21, at 10 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Make a Coffee Stir Bookmark, for grades 6-12, is Wednesday, June 21, at 3 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Supplies provided. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. InternationalDancePerformance is Tuesday, June 21, at 6 p.m. at the Euchee Creek Library. Call 706-8631946 or visit ecgrl.org. Poems and Songs with Mr. Bill Karp and his guitar George is Tuesday, June 22, at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Let’s Get Creative art workshop for kids with Sharmen Tutt is Wednesday, June 22, from 10-11 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. All About Birds at Reed Creek METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 23


Nature Park, for ages 5 and up, is on Wednesday, June 22, from 10-11 a.m. Free for members and $2 per child for non-members. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

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Sean Poppy Eco-Talk with Live Animals is Wednesday, June 22, at 10:30 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Jazz4Kids with Garden City Jazz on Wednesday, June 22, at 2:30 p.m. at the Harlem Branch Library. Call 706556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Nurturing Nature Walk at Reed Creek Nature Park, for ages 3 to 5, is on Thursday, June 23, from 10-11 a.m. Free for members and $2 per child for non-members. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Pond Exploration at Reed Creek Nature Park, for ages 5 and up, is on Thursday June 23, from 10-11 a.m. Free for members; $2 for non-members. Preregistration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.

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Special Story Times at Pendleton King Park with Mayor Deke Copenhaver will be Thursday, June 23, at 10 a.m. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. The Power of Art, a summer arts camp for children ages 4-6 who have not yet started the first grade, meets

24 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

from 9 a.m.-noon the weeks of June 20, July 11, 18 and 25. There is also an afternoon session from 1-4 p.m. the week of June 27. All take place at the Aiken Center for the Arts. Camps are $130 per week and pre-registration is required. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. In My Backyard shows at USCAiken’s Dupont Planetarium Saturdays in June at 8 p.m. Visitors will learn how they can identify objects in the sky using the naked eye, binoculars and telescopes. Tickets are $4.50 for adults, $3.50 for seniors, $2.50 for 4K-12th grade students and $1 for USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-641-3769 or visit usca. edu/rpsec/planetarium/. Monday Movie Matinees at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library show at 2 p.m. throughout the summer. Participants may bring their own snacks. Call the library for a list of movies to be shown. No movies are scheduled on June 20 or July 4. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Less Than Two Minutes Film Contest for Young Adults is going on through Monday, July 18. Movies less than two minutes in length submitted by that deadline will be eligible for prizes and will be shown at the Diamond Lakes Library’s Less Than Two Minutes Film Festival on Monday, July 25, at 6 p.m. Prizes will be awarded for best of show,


best of show runner-up, most innovative and fan favorite. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. World Capitals Guessing Game for kids is going on throughout the month of June at the Headquarters Branch Library. Winners will be announced on July 5. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. Registration for Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art Summer Camps, for kids ages 5-11, is going on now. The camps, held at either the GHIA location downtown or at The Quest Church on Washington Road in Martinez, are held in one-week sessions beginning June 6. Afternoon camps at the GHIA’s downtown location, are offered the weeks of June 27, July 11 and July 18. Camps are $60 per week for members and $75 for non-members. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. Family Y Day Camps, at all area branches, run weekly thoughout the summer beginning May 23. For ages 5-17, pre-registration is required for all camps, and a deposit of $15 per child per week is charged upon initial enrollment in a camp program. Register at any Family Y location or online at thefamilyy.org. Summer Art Camps at the Aiken Center for the Arts, for those ages 4 and up, will be conducted weekly June 20 through July 25 and feature a different theme each week. Half-day and full-day programs available. $117$193.50 for members and $130-$215 for non-members. Pre-registration is going on now. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Story Time at Diamond Lakes Branch Library, including books, stories, songs, games and more, is each Tuesday at 10 a.m. Pre-registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-8540149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:3011:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m. and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call

803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-7370012 or visit bn.com. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

Seniors

From Broadway to Hollywood: A Senior Prom for Senior Citizens is Friday, June 17, from 5:30-8 p.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. There will be professional prom photos provided and printed on site for each attendee, as well as door prizes and a crowning of a prom king and queen. Call 803-643-9888 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Thursday at 7 p.m. at Borders. Free. Call 706-737-6962. If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar,

please email Amy Christian at amy@ themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Growing Light Local doctor shines a light on female hair loss Dr. Paul Thaxton is looking for 50 females between the ages of 18 to 60 to participate in a clinical study testing whether low-level laser light is effective in treating female hair loss. The women should have hair loss or thinning hair that started in the last five years. Nationally, 20 million women suffer from hair loss, about 40 percent of whom are under the age of 40. The clinical study, an FDA prospective, randomized, double-blind, placebo controlled study (“It’s the kind of study you can depend on,” Thaxton says) involves 24 laser procedures — two procedures a week for 12 weeks. The procedure, which lasts only 18 minutes and is conducted in a comfortable chair, is not only painless, it could pay off even for those who don’t get the real treatment. “There’s a placebo arm and a true treatment arm,” Thaxon says. “If they happen to be in the placebo arm — and we won’t know until we break the code — they can get the full treatment if the FDA approves. Interested women should contact Thaxon at 706-922-4545.

Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Yoga I and II is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Hobbies

Augusta Genealogical Society meets every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday at 9 a.m. and Sundays from 2-5 p.m. at the society’s Adamson Library, 1109 Broad St. Free. Call 706-722-4073. Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters Meeting, for those who want to brush up on their public speaking skills, is every Wednesday at noon at the Cotton Patch downtown. Free. Call 803-593-6605. French Club meets each METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 25


AUGUSTA

TEK The Cool Factor Greg Baker

Did anyone listen to any of the talk about the cool factor over the past week? Personally, I’m not sure what all the fuss is about. From a technology perspective, Augusta has very long and rich history of being cool. For example, have you ever noticed the historic marker in front of the Wells Fargo building commemorating the first railroad in the state of Georgia? May not seem important today, but in the 1830s this was a big deal. About the same time period, Henry Cummings bulldogged the effort to build a seven-mile canal through the city. Again it may not seem like much, but this was as high-tech as it got in pre-Civil War America. The railroad and canal defined Augusta as one of the very few

industrial centers in the South. These two components of hightech infrastructure fueled Augusta’s economy for the next 100 years. Pretty cool, huh? Did you know that, in early 1911, the Wright brothers established their first commercial flight school at what is now Daniel Field? Augusta historian Dr. Ed Cashin commented on this milestone in the Augusta Chronicle on Dec. 17, 2003: “This was a period when we had great optimism about the future,” [Dr. Cashin] said, noting that skyscrapers such as the Lamar Building were constructed around the same time. Neat. Now I know your saying, “That was so long ago. Augusta today is

different.” OK… Let’s take a look. Just off the top of my head… The new reactors currently under construction at Plant Vogtle are the first new nuclear reactors to be built in the U.S. in over 30 years. All Army information technology and communications training and a large portion of the IT management for the U.S. infrastructure is performed at Fort Gordon. Columbia County is crisscrossing the county with fiber optic cable to improve communications within the county and establish a high-speed data backbone to drive economic development. And just to pick a few on the medical side, there’s the Level 1 Center for Traumatic Brain Injury for Wounded Warrior Care at Eisenhower, the incredibly innovative burn treatment at the Joseph M. Still Burn Center, the electronic healthcare record upgrade at University Hospital, and the many research breakthroughs at GHSU (see their website and take your pick).

In addition, there are numerous businesses in the area that are implementing technology to make their business better and become more relevant to more people. Those that are successful will be sought for their ability to create value for their customers. Making life better. Now that’s cool. The Augusta Canal created an enormous amount of value for the city and continues to make life better for Augustans. It has the cool factor. I wonder what Henry Cummings would think has the cool factor today? Read Dr. Azziz’s Cool Factor Blog at http://azziz.georgiahealth.edu/ archives/272. Until next time, tell us how you are making Augusta cool. Tweet to #AugustaIsCoolBecause. Follow me @ gregory_a_baker.

Gregory A. Baker, Ph.D., was raised in Columbia County and is currently the vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. He has been married for 15 years and is the father to twin girls, so he supports 37 Barbies, eight American Girl dolls and innumerable stuffed animals.

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THE

8

BOX TOPS

Old-fashioned sci-fi flick tops the box office this past weekend. The X-Men are clearly no match for superheroes J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg. RANK TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

SUPER 8

$37,000,000

$37,000,000

1

-

2

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

$25,000,000

$98,894,000

2

1

3

THE HANGOVER PART II

$18,500,000

$216,560,000

3

2

4

KUNG FU PANDA 2

$16,635,000

$126,905,000

3

3

5

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN $10,846,000

$208,774,000

4

4

“Super 8” Sam Eifling Is this sci-fi throwback the summer’s best movie? Um, yeah. The less you know about “Super 8” before you see it, which you should, the more you’ll enjoy it. The storytelling is that tight. The opening shot of the film, of a steel mill’s accident-free-days sign being manually reset to “1” is a quiet obituary that expands into a fully told tragedy within another five shots and six lines. Director J.J. Abrams, infamous for piling up loose ends in “Lost,” reveals just enough, at the right intervals, to make every new fact a reveal. The characters — centrally, a group of small-town middle-schoolers cobbling together a zombie thriller for a student film competition in 1979 — are likeable, believable, earnest and funny. The mystery propelling the story’s events is intense and satisfying. People you know will soon list this among their favorite movies; it’s a shoo-in for a Best Picture nomination this year. This is popcorn cinema at its finest. Now then, onto spoilers. The accident at the mill killed, horribly, the mother of a sensitive boy named Joe Lamb (Joel Courtney, in his film debut) left now with his father, a well-meaning but distant Sheriff’s deputy. (He’s played by Kyle

Chandler, perhaps the most recognizable face in the entire cast, and best known for his work in “Friday Night Lights.”) When school lets out for the summer, Joe’s best buddy since forever, the bigger, bossier Charles (Riley Griffiths, another talented kid you’ve never seen before), enlists him and a few other friends to finally knock out this zombie flick. When Charles tells Joe that he has gotten Alice Dainard to play the ingénue, Joe swoons. Alice, played by Dakota’s little sister Elle Fanning, is bold enough to swipe her dad’s car for a night-location shoot at a train station, but she also has a bone with Joe, since her father (Ron Eldard), a drunk, keeps running afoul of Joe’s dad, the cop. To Joe, that’s irrelevant. When she settles down long enough to let him prep her makeup on location at a train station, Joe’s gentle daubing alone tells us heartbreaking volumes about first childhood romances. As they rehearse the scene at the station, a train appears in the distance. The crew scrambles, with Charles yelling “production value!” and racing to catch the train in the shot. As it storms past, only Joe notices a truck speeding to an intersection, turning and driving straight at the train. In the head-on, the train derails

(spectacularly) and then… strange things start happening. The Air Force arrives to play hero/villain. Pets flee the county. Microwaves and car engines go missing in scores. And like the boys, you can’t wait for their Super-8 Kodak film of the accident to finally get developed. To say more really would muck up the fun. With Steven Spielberg’s producer credit above the title on the movie posters, it’s easy to compare “Super 8” to some of his early, kid-centric summer blockbusters (not least for its depiction of government force, “E.T.” comes to mind). The teens’ fellowship also recalls “Stand By Me” or even, for several reasons of plot and theme, Stephen King’s “It.” Certain angles hark to classic horror films of the ’40s and ’50s, overhead reaction shots that put a frightened screamer before us and give the audience the sensation that some awful thing is Right Behind Us.

But for its classic feel, truly “Super 8” is its own universe. For once in these bloated summertime sci-fi explosionfests, the coming-of-age drama that provides cover for the action and suspense doesn’t feel like an afterthought — indeed, the characters truly are the story. When you think back on the movie, you may find the most memorable scenes are those in which 13- and 14-year-old actors are actually talking with one another. This is an action movie, and at times a quite intense one, but there’s nothing more exciting than being there with Joe when he applies zombie makeup to Alice, coaches her on how to act undead and watches, heart swelling, as she throws herself into being the scariest damn zombie ever. There are lots of quality explosions here, but the muted fireworks are even better.

MOVIE REVIEW 28 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11


Batter up for the Red Cross! It's the Red Cross Home Stretch with the Augusta Greenjackets! 8 big days of games with 2 for 1 tickets! Plus get a limited edition loving cup for only $5. They'll even fill it up with your favorite beverage. All proceeds benefit the Augusta chapter of the American Red Cross. 8 big games, 8 big days of savings, and 8 big days of helping the American Red Cross.

Go to Kicks99.com for all the details! That's it! Thank you for helping the American Red Cross!

June 12th through the 19th. METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 29


Opening Friday, June 17

THE8ERS Going to the movies this weekend? Here’s what’s playing.

Action “Green Lantern,” rated PG-13, starring Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively. Oh, good. Another superhero movie. Ryans Reynolds doesn’t seem very superheroey but when the bar is set at Robert Downey Jr., the only place to go is up.

Family “Mr. Popper’s Penguins,” rated PG, starring Jim Carrey, Angela Lansbury. Carrey’s latest sees his character’s personal life falling apart after inheriting six penguins, so it’s a complete departure from, say, “Bruce Almighty” or “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.”

The Big Mo thebigmo.com June 17-18 Main Field: Green Lantern (PG-13) and The Hangover Part II (R); Screen 2: Mr. Popper’s Penguins (PG) and X-Men: First Class (PG-13) Screen 3: Super 8 (PG-13) and Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG). Gates open at 7 p.m.; shows begin at 8:30 p.m. (approximately)

5:20, 7:30, 8, 8:30, 9:40, 10:40, 11:50, 12:20; X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 12:15, 3:45, 4:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:20, 10:15, 10:45, 12:25; The Hangover Part II (R) 12:20, 4:25, 7:15, 9:50, 12:25; Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) 11:05, 11:35, 1:20, 1:50, 3:35, 7:05, 7:45, 9:20, 11:35; Midnight in Paris (PG-13) 11:15, 1:45, 4:10, 7:50, 10:20; Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (PG-13) 12:05, 3:50, 7:20, 10:30; Bridesmaids (R) 11:50, 4:10, 7:10, 10; Thor (PG-13) 4:50, 10:10

Masters 7 Cinemas georgiatheatrecompany.com June 17-18 HoodwinkedToo!Hoodvs.Evil(PG) 1, 3:10, 5:20; African Cats (G) 12:50, 3, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50; Water for Elephants (PG-13) 1:10, 4, 6:40, 9:25; Rio The Movie (G) 1:40, 4:30, 6:50, 9:30; Soul Surfer (PG) 1:50, 4:45, 7:20, 9:45; Source Code (PG-13) 7:40, 9:55; Limitless (PG13) 7:10, 9:35; The Lincoln Lawyer (R) 1:20, 4:10, 7, 9:40; Rango (PG) 1:30, 4:20

D N ME

M O EC

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“Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” is an excellent movie that was loved by critics, but missed by almost everyone else. Before “Iron Man,” a perfectly cast Robert Downey Jr. starred as a small time criminal turned actor who, alongside a hotheaded detective (an excellent Val Kilmer), gets involved in an LA murder mystery and cover-up. It’s equal parts black comedy and neonoir, with just as much witty dialogue as twists and turns. — Quentin Lester

Regal Augusta Exchange regmovies.com June 17-18 The Art of Getting By (PG-13) 11:45, 1:55, 4:05, 7:35, 9:45, 11:55; Green Lantern (PG-13) 11, 11:30, noon, 12:30, 1:40, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 5, 7, 7:30, 8, 8:30, 9:40, 10:10, 10:40, 11:10; Mr. Popper’s Penguins (PG) 11:10, 11:40, 12:10, 2:05, 2:25, 3:05, 4:40, 5:10, 5:40, 7:10, 7:40, 8:10, 9:25, 10:25, 10:55, 11:40; Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (PG) 11:20, 1:35, 7:05; Super 8 (PG-13) 11, 11:30, noon, 12:30, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 3:20, 4:20,

Evans Stadium Cinemas georgiatheatrecompany.com June 17-18 Green Lantern (PG-13) 12:50, 1:40, 3:50, 4:40, 6:45, 7:25, 9:20, 10; Mr. Popper’s Penguins (PG) Noon, 1, 2:25, 3:15, 4:50, 5:30, 7:05, 7:45, 9:20, 10; Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (PG) 12:10, 2:35, 5, 7:30, 9:45; Super 8 (PG-13) 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:30, 7:15, 9:10, 10; X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 1:10, 4, 6:50, 9:45; The Hangover Part II (R) 1:50, 4:20, 7:20, 9:50; Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) Noon, 12:45, 2:15, 3:05, 4:40, 5:20, 6:55, 7:40, 9:15, 9:55; Midnight in Paris (PG13) 12:20, 2:55, 5:10, 7:35, 9:55; Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (PG-13) 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40; Bridesmaids (R) 1:20, 4:10, 7, 9:50

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45

Amy Christian

ART

The Home Stretch

Enopion’s “The General and His Lady” to be the first show at the Kroc Center

Carol Rezzelle and her cast of 30 for “The General and His Lady” are gearing up for the inaugural performances in the new Kroc Center’s performing arts theater this July. But the original production, and the naming of Rezzelle’s Enopion Theatre Company as the resident theater company of the Salvation Army’s new center, has been in the works for several years. “I say it was providential,” Rezzelle says with a smile during a recent rehearsal at Enopion’s current digs on Mike Padgett Highway in south Augusta. “It was in the works before we even knew it.” Enopion, a Christian theater company that has been around for 12 seasons and is perhaps best known for the production “The Great Big Gopher Boat,” has had a relationship with the Salvation Army for several years. It began when Enopion volunteered for holiday bell-ringing duty and continued when the organization called Rezzelle about three years ago to ask if she could give them some tickets so a group of their clients could see

“People of Pentacost.” “They contacted us when they came and saw a production and asked us if we wanted to be a partner,” she says. “That’s sort of how our relationship started.” Once construction on the Kroc Center got underway and details on a more formal partnership were hammered out, including the fact that Enopion will occupy space in the Salvation Army’s new facility, it was only natural that the organization would want their resident theater company to break in the new performing arts theater. “When we were discussing this back last year, they wanted us to do some performance, so the story of the general and his lady had not even been birthed,” she says. “It took us a year to write the story and lay down the tracks.” Enopion, a Hebrew word loosely meaning to be within sight of, consists of Rezzelle, her husband Rick and her daughter Corinna, who has a theater degree from the Savannah College of Art and Design. Carol, however, is

quick to point out that she herself is not formally trained. “I do not have a degree, but I’ve been a music director in different churches since I was 13. I still am at two churches: Cliffwood Presbyterian and Liberty United Methodist,” she says. “And of course I sing with the Columbia County Choral Society. That’s sort of my education, to be under the direction of another director.” The three decided to focus on the life of William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army, and his wife Catherine. The musical, which Rezzelle says she fashioned after productions such as “Les Miserables” and “Oliver,” begins in 19th century England. “It all really started with him giving his life to the Lord,” she explains. “When that happened, his eyes became opened to the conditions that had been around him in Nottingham, England.” Conditions were dire, Rezzelle found after research, even incorporating an event she found in a newspaper article from the time into an intense number in Act I.

“There is actually a part where a man auctioned off his wife,” Rezzelle says. “The only way he could feed his children was to auction off his wife.” The remaining parts of the four-act musical center around the Booth couple and their lives spent helping others. It’s an almost eerie coincidence that the two leads playing the Booths are Patrick and Sarah Stubbs, newlyweds who are both in the Navy stationed at Fort Gordon. “The Salvation Army has been a part of my life since I was little,” Patrick Stubbs says. “I grew up poor.” That’s not the eerie part, though. Since being married, and even before that, Patrick and Sarah have felt the need to do something more for the people around them. “It’s a fascinating confirmation for both of us,” Sarah says. “It’s an incredible thing for us to be walking through two characters who are going through the exact same thing we are.” Sarah says they hope to eventually pull from her former occupation as a teacher to open a school for underprivileged METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 31


children. Now, however, the two are concentrating on learning their lines. Rehearsals have been going on for two months and, with only a month left to go, the pace is picking up. The entire cast rehearses Thursday through Saturday of each week, while those involved in a complex period dance, that includes a Viennese waltz,

clock an extra session on Tuesday. “They just don’t know what they’re in for at this point,” Rezzelle laughs. “They’ve had a very lax rehearsal schedule at this point.” It also culminates in nine shows which will coincide with the dedication weekend of the Kroc Center, something Rezzelle and her cast a crew can’t wait for.

“To actually put it on stage and see it come alive is overwhelming,” she says. “The General and His Lady” Augusta Kroc Center’s Performing Arts Center July 15, 8 p.m. July 16, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 7 p.m. July 24, 4 p.m. July 30, 3 p.m.

$15, adults; $10, students, seniors and groups of 10 or more (tickets are on sale now) 706-631-0639 beth@enopion.com

sightings Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Lynn, Brook and Adam Facey at Movies Under the Stars at the Columbia County Amphitheater.

32 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

Travis Jenkins, singer/songwriter Tom Goss, Chris Bannochie and Mike Briggs at the Outer Edge art event at The Bee’s Knees.

Tena Marie Aceto, artist Edgar F. Miles and artist Jennifer Onofrio at the Outer Edge art event at The Bee’s Knees.


JENNY is WRIGHT

Stop, Watch and Listen Is My Motto It’s no secret that I love peoplewatching. Now, let me be clear. I’m not judging whilst watching. I just like observing. Unless you’re doing something awful like smoking in your car with two kids in the back and the windows rolled up, cheating on your husband or the like, I don’t care. I just want to see what’s happening. People always say that strange and funny things happen when I’m around but I beg to differ. Interesting things happen to everyone. I just pay attention. Most people would keep walking if they heard a man and wife fighting about oatmeal in the grocery store. I stop, watch and listen. Every once in awhile, watching and listening isn’t the best idea. When I lived in Manhattan, I saw a man actually making love to the sidewalk. He was naked. He was making noises. I walked away without a second glance. There are people who have lived in NYC all of their lives and never seen anything like that. There are times when, without blatantly staring, I can’t figure out what these people are doing. A couple of weeks ago, some friends and I were at a local watering hole, enjoying a few happy hour beverages. A large table nearby started to fill. I had my back to them, but quickly changed my perspective. It was an interesting group (cue

Cookie Monster singing, “One of these things is not like the other…”). They didn’t look like they belonged together. Young and old, nerdy and cool, fratty and not, male and female. You get it. Our table started speculating. How on earth do these people know each other? In hushed tones, our discussion began. We just knew it had to be a secret connection. Everyone seemed to have an awkward gait as they approached the table and the chatter was nervous. Introductions were made, but they either involved little eye contact or an overt politeness that comes with a first meeting. Only some of our guesses are safe for print. Dungeons and Dragons meeting? Do they all have some common fetish? If so, we figured that it probably wasn’t a foot fetish. No one looked under the table a single time. As I mentioned before, they varied in age, so we knew it wasn’t a reunion of any sort. Maybe they are a support group for weight loss, addiction or an illness. Obviously we weren’t getting anywhere. No one was willing to ask (that would be nosy) and we couldn’t just go on with our day, never knowing the story (because we are nosy). We had a plan. One of my happy hour people was on the way out anyway. He

Robert Davis, Meghan Roemer and Korde Jones at the Second Saturday concert at the Columbia County Amphitheater.

said his goodbyes, paid his check and slowly walked past the table in question. Stopping right next to them, he pulled his Blackberry out of his pocket and dialed. While “checking his voicemail” he craned his neck so that he could hear the strangers’ conversation. After a couple of minutes, he put his phone back in his pocket and walked out the door. As we waited for his call, we laughed, knowing that he had a great story. Ring! We answered, holding our collective breath. The answer?

Kirsten Sontag, Jose Martinez and Becki Long at Vue.

They all work together. Some work here and others are visiting from other branches of the company. The absolutely mundane answer explained the age and style variations and the apparent lack of familiarity. How boring! Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Until next time… Jenny Wright lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl). She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis

Ellen Boohar and Tripp Bowden, author of “Freddie & Me: Life Lessons from Freddie Bennett, Augusta National’s Legendary Caddy Master,” at Bowden’s book signing at Learning Express Toys.

METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 33


Meeting the Artists Not Always What It Seems Katie Wells

People are always asking me, “Wow, do you get to meet all the artists?” Sure. Most of the time, I do. Friends see the pictures I post on Facebook of the trade shots taken with these artists. They see the smiles and fun times advertised in these photos. They comment on what a cool job I have. Don’t get me wrong, my job is fun. And, as I met Blake Shelton I found myself thinking, “He is a lot taller than I pictured.” So, I do get to experience things that most people don’t. But, my job is much more than seeing great shows and meeting celebrities. People ask me, “What is a normal day like for you?” Well, when we don’t have events, I can spend quite a bit of time behind my desk — answering emails and calls from promoters and media reps, making sure our on-sale campaigns are going smoothly, media schedules are running as planned, promotions and PR are coming together. But, when we have events like the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus in town, as we did a couple of months ago, things are a little less “normal.” Picture starting your day at 5 a.m. to pick up Hans and his wife and their performing dogs to take them to NBC Augusta for early-a.m. PR. I love watching Jay Jefferies in action. He is such a character and a good sport, especially so early in

the morning. The poodle and terrier did their tricks on camera, and, at the last minute, Jay pulled me on to promote opening night. Definitely unexpected at 6:30 a.m.! I headed back to the office after NBC and had just enough time to catch up on email before meeting a WRDW/CBS reporter on the arena floor so she could get a “behindthe-scenes” look at the circus and interview the performers of the motorcycle high-wire and family of brothers and sisters who make up the Globe of Steel daredevils. The reporter got some great coverage of the high-wire and the Globe and even got to ride on the high-wire herself. Those are the stories I love to see! Our big PR event of the day was our elephant brunch. This is something we’ve always wanted to do here. It’s a great way for the community to see the elephants of Ringling Bros. doing what they do best — eat. I had to coordinate the arrival of the food — pounds and pounds of bananas, apples, lettuce, carrots and loaves of bread for the three hungry elephants. By the way, Ringling elephants are all female. They find they are more even-tempered than males. Go figure! While tending to the food, we had to make sure tables and sound system were in place. Was our emcee here yet? Will the elephants cooperate and be ready when we ask

Blake Shelton

them to be? They can be divas! All went off without a hitch, and you could see cars stopping in the middle of the road to watch these three majestic animals walk the sidewalk in front of the James Brown Arena. They took their places behind the tables on the arena plaza and went to town on the feast before them. It was great to see people in the community come to watch. If you haven’t actually watched an elephant eat, it really is entertainment! It’s days like this that really make my job like no other. We certainly do learn to work with all kinds of artists and performers. And although Blake Shelton was much taller than

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I expected him to be, the elephants from Ringling Bros. were by far the tallest performers we’ve had here at the Augusta Entertainment Complex. Katie Wells is director of marketing at Global Spectrum, who run the Augusta Entertainment Complex made up of the James Brown Arena and Bell Auditorium. She has been in Augusta for a little over two years and, prior to Augusta, lived in Atlanta and worked as a promoter for Feld Entertainment, promoting Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus and Disney on Ice. When she’s not working, she likes working with different charities in the community.

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Greg and Paige Kemp with Caitlin and Chad Seidel at the Pizza Joint in Evans.

34 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

Tori and Daniel Thompson at An Evening in the Appleby Garden.

Evans Smith, Brandy Ray and Maria Johnson at TakoSushi in Evans.


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Ashley Burke, Lauren Rickabaugh, Jessie Counts and Kayla Williams at The Country Club.

Seth Fuselier and Sarah Jurgilewicz with Ooolee and John Bricker at the Swamp Soiree.

Mike Comer, Megan Boyd and Rachelle Hoehn at the Second Saturday concert at the Columbia County Amphitheater.

METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 35


CRISP A Slice and a Draft

Beer Me Tuesday is a popular promotion at all three Pizza Joints

A couple of weeks ago, the Metro Spirit profiled Moe Mondays, a good example of a restaurant promotion that has really gained traction. This week, we are moving on to Tuesdays, with the Pizza Joint’s Beer Me Tuesday. Started four years ago as a promotion by radio station 95 Rock, Beer Me Tuesday began as a vagabond, moving from one bar or restaurant to another each week. The only requirement was to offer beer at a fixed price from 7-9 p.m. The following year, the Pizza Joint gained exclusive rights to the night, and now Beer Me Tuesday has become a Pizza Joint institution. All three locations host the event each week (in downtown Augusta, Aiken and Evans... wait, Evans doesn’t have a downtown), and once a month the guys from 95 Rock show up and broadcast live. After a hiatus of a couple of years, the promotion began again around six months ago. “People were sad to see it go, and happy to see it return. It’s been a pretty significant difference in business on Tuesday nights from five months ago,” says Trey Enfinger, head of corporate development for Pizza Joint. “We offer

specialty slices for $1.95 and 16-ounce drafts from 5 p.m. until close. We had to add two kitchen employees because the slices get out of control.” Pizza Joint’s downtown location had to add something even more to keep up with beer demand. “We finished installing 30 new taps

May 1 at our Broad Street location. And we are going through a lot of beer,” Enfinger says. “It’s definitely a younger crowd. It’s very busy… we fill up with a late-night crowd just because of Beer Me Tuesday.” The Pizza Joint has a couple of other standing promotions as well. In Evans,

Kris Fisher DJs every Thursday night from 10 p.m.-2 a.m., except the first Thursday of each month when the Mason Jars perform.

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Keep On Truckin’

Restaurateur ventures outside four walls with Crums on Wheels

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Now that Andrew Crumrine has acquired an RV-sized trailer with a kitchen, it appears that Augusta is one step closer to jumping on the food truck craze. “It’s not out of the realm of possibility,” Crumrine, owner of Summerville’s Crums on Central, admits. “It’d be interesting I think, but Brett [Pritchard, his partner] and I haven’t got all that hashed out yet.” Crumrine bought the trailer at the end of April from someone in Atlanta who thought he wanted to go into the catering business but then decided against it. Crums on Wheels made its debut at May’s Banjo-B-Q and then Crumrine catered a party in Statesboro out of it. “It’s got as much equipment in there as I’ve got in my restaurant and we can take it anywhere,” Crumrine says. “That’s the beauty of it. We can take a full restaurant kitchen anywhere we want to go... within reason because that thing’s huge.” With an 80-pound fryer, a flat-top griddle, a charcoal grill, a six-burner range, a convection oven, refrigerator, freezer, sinks, generator, A/C and more, Crumrine says his recent gig in Statesboro was a snap. And that’s with a

menu that included catelope and tomato salad, catfish po boys, bacon-wrapped pickled watermelon rinds, portobella fries and banana pudding. If he gives the food truck concept a go, though, Crumrine says he’d want to be a little more judicious about what he serves. The 28-foot awnings on either side of the truck will hold a few tables and chairs, but what, he wonders, will customers dine al fresco for? “And then it’s kind of like, what kind of food do we want to do out of our pop-up food truck?” he says. “I think barbecue would be a good thing for us to do, and it would be pretty easy too. A taco truck would be killer, I think, but Philly cheesesteak trucks are really big. I don’t know. We haven’t gotten there yet.” Legalities have to be worked out and permits applied for. Then there’s a little matter of the brick-and-mortar restaurant whose success allowed Crumrine to branch out in the first place. “And we have a restaurant to run,” he laughs. “We just opened up for lunch right about the same time we got the truck, and we’re hoping to go seven days a week in the fall. So we’re just biting off one thing at a time.”

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gourmet R

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Gourmet Relay is a weekly column in which local cooks share a recipe with Metro Spirit readers, then pass the tongs off to another cook of their choosing, who will be featured the following week. Beth Fritz

Beth Frits, as owner of Frits & Co. Marketing & Special Events for 16 years, does everything from public relations to planning events like the Celebrate 2000 New Year’s Eve street party for 25,000 people. Married for 24 year to Mike, the couple are parents to Kaitlyn, 21, and Patrick, 18, and have lived in Augusta for 21 years. They are members of First Baptist, where Beth is a deacon and sixth grade girls Sunday school teacher, and the four also enjoy playing tennis, kayaking, water skiing and tubing. You might wonder how someone as busy as Beth has time to cook, and a lot of the time, she doesn’t. That’s why she relies on standbys like this one to fill in the gaps. Texas Caviar 2 cans black-eyed peas, rinsed and drained 2 cans white shoepeg corn, rinsed and drained 1 small can chopped black olives 1/2 cup purple onion, chopped 4-5 green onions, chopped 2 cups cherry tomatoes, chopped 1/2 cup cilantro 1 green bell pepper, chopped 2-4 jalapenos, seeded and chopped (optional) 1 16-oz. bottle Italian dressing Garlic powder, to taste Salt, to taste 1/2 tsp. cumin Combine all ingedients in a bowl and mix well. Best served after allowed to marinate overnight. Serve with tortilla chips.

38 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11


CAGEY ANSWERS By Yaakov Bendavid / Edited By Will Shortz 1

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answers

DOWN 1 Israel’s Ehud 2 Grammatically proper identification 3 Nail polish ingredient 4 Loser of 1988 5 “Casino Royale,” for one 6 Animals with black-tipped tails

7 One of a dozen 8 “If ___ you …” 9 Subject of Genghis Khan 10 Princely abbr. 11 Arms race inits. 12 Diving seabirds 13 “Nuts!” 14 Make a queen, e.g. 15 Present at birth 16 Deleted 17 Maurice Chevalier song 18 Ecuador and Venezuela are in it 25 Zilch 26 Friends of François 31 Crumbly cheese 32 Symbols of strength 33 Dilbert co-worker 37 Safari equipment 38 “Matilda” author, 1988 40 As above, in a footnote 41 Not those, in Brooklyn 42 Ooh and aah 43 Dark 44 Hebrew matriarch 45 Classic song that begins “And now the end is near” 46 Vapour trail? 47 Jiffy 49 Ike or Billy at the O.K. Corral 52 Qatar’s capital 53 Prince Albert’s home: Abbr. 54 Root crop 56 Con 61 N.L. Central player 62 Co. ID’s 64 Flipper 65 Biblical breastplate stones 66 Part of 10-Down, maybe 68 Mirror image? 69 Old ballad “Robin ___” 70 Philatelist George, founder of the largest weekly newspaper for stamp collectors 71 Frank ___, two-time Oscar-winning director 72 Turn outward 76 Onetime Texaco competitor 77 GPS options: Abbr. 78 Answer to the old riddle “What lies flat when empty, sits up when full?” 79 “Forget I said anything” 80 Score right before a win, maybe 81 Unique 83 G.I.’s food 86 Train systems 87 Actress Hatcher 88 Den ___, Nederland 89 Cluster 90 Wives in São Paulo 96 Mask feature 98 Puddle producer, perhaps 99 Incantation opener 100 Hybrid clothing for women 102 Actresses Best and Purviance 104 Marina sights 105 “Now I see” 106 Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, to J.F.K. 107 City south of Brigham City 108 Raises 109 “Fiddler on the Roof” role 110 When doubled, a Samoan port 111 Wowed 112 Start of some congregation names 113 Land in Genesis 117 Summer hours in L.A. 118 Auto monogram

previous week’s

ACROSS 1 Chickens, e.g. 6 Workers with hammers 12 Punch relative 15 Captain of fiction 19 Enthusiastically accepted 20 Facing 21 Coffeehouse fixture 22 Take ___ (go swimming) 23 Not secure 24 How organized philosophers deal with ideas? 27 Like about 20% of the world’s land area 28 Gillette product 29 Bronchodilator user 30 Highway S-curve? 34 Vex 35 Composer Charles 36 Playbook figures 39 Pulled off 42 Reinforcing bracket 45 Bygone copy 48 Suffix with Ecuador 49 Software basis 50 Spanish article 51 Countess bankrupts St. Louis N.H.L. team? 55 Some 35mm cameras 57 Actor Wilson 58 Digital communication?: Abbr. 59 Words on an “Animal House” cake float 60 Legendary Onondaga chief 63 Alien craft 66 Cackler 67 Warning before driving past the town dump? 73 Some Windows systems 74 Start of a selection process 75 Break up 77 Down time 80 100% 82 Marvel Comics hero 84 Denials 85 Wayne Gretzky? 91 Soph. and jr. 92 Holder of a runoff? 93 French river or department 94 Reliever 95 Must 97 Fr. holy title 98 Ancient Cretan writing system 100 ___ Pictures 101 Readily recite, with “off” 103 Being too large to fail? 110 Onetime Robin Williams co-star 114So-called Mother of Presidents 115 “Shucks!” 116 Singles bar pickup strategy? 119 Flying monster of film 120 “Baywatch” actress ___ Lee Nolin 121 Rocket from China 122 Notice 123 Bit of Weather Channel news 124 By all ___ 125 Kind of card 126 Chucks 127 Pick up

METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 39


free will Rob Brezsny

a s t r o l o g y freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

In Mark Harris’s novel “Bang the Drum Slowly,” professional baseball players cheat their fans out of money by engaging them in a card game called TEGWAR, which is an acronym for The Exciting Game Without Any Rules. I’d say it’s prime time for you to play a more ethical version of this game. The game can have rules, but they may be changed at any time, and new ones may be added as needed. The object is to have as much smart fun as possible without anyone getting hurt. CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“The only way to let your dreams come true is to wake up,” said poet Paul Valery. Here’s how I think that applies to you right now. You’ve become too engrossed in the mythic, phantasmagorical feelings of your fantasies, and that’s interfering with your ability to muster all of the kick-ass pragmatism and supercharged willpower you will need to actually make your fantasies come to life. Snap out of your creamy dreamy haze with a selfinduced wake-up call. Stop floating and start grunting. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

As we began our first session, the 79-year-old Jungian psychotherapist looked at me with mischief in her eyes and said, “Go ahead — surprise me! What have you got?” I was torn. Part of me felt like rising to her challenge, meeting her dare but, in the end, I chose to tell the truth. I felt it was more important to explore my life’s actual mysteries than to entertain her. And that was the first healing she helped me achieve. I suspect a similar test is ahead for you. Would you rather be honest or impress people? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

At no time in the coming weeks will anyone be justified in saying to you, “Your ego has been writing checks that your body can’t cash.” Nor will anyone have any reason to tell you, “You’d better start running if you hope to catch up with your dreams,” or “You may be an old soul but you’ve been acting like a naive punk.” None of those accusations will be hurled at you because, from what I can tell, all of the various parts of your psyche will be in a greater state of collaborative unity than they’ve been

40 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

in for a long time. Your alienation from yourself will be at an all-time low, as will your levels of hypocrisy. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

I’m brave in some ways, cowardly in others. I’ve gone parasailing, performed on big stages in front of thousands of people, assisted in the birth of two children, and explored the abyss of my own unconscious. I’m scared of confined spaces, can’t bring myself to shoot a gun, and am a sissy when it comes time to be around people who are dying. You, too, have areas of courage and timidity. And I suspect that in the coming weeks you will be called to a challenge in both areas. See if you can transfer some of the nervy power you’re able to summon in one sphere to bolster you in the place where you’re a wimp. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

The Kinky Dream and Funky Paradise chapter of your astrological cycle has arrived — a phase when you’ll have poetic license to let your imagination run wilder than usual. It’ll be prime time to escape into fantasyland and try on a new identity or two, complete with a host of outlandish nicknames. Your new hip hop name could be Extasy TrixxMaster. Your mystic superhero name could be Mountain Wind Storm. Your Irish prostitute name could be Luscious X. Mahoney. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The coming weeks could be a Golden Age for your perceptiveness. You will be able to discern hidden agendas that no one else has spotted, catch clues that have been hidden and be able to recognize and register interesting sights you’ve previously been blind to. To maximize your ability to cash in on this fantastic opportunity, say this affirmation frequently: “My eyes are working twice as well as usual. I can see things I don’t normally notice.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

If you were the star of a fairy tale in which a spell had been placed on you, you would find a way to break that spell sometime in the next seven months. If you were the hero of a myth about a royal child abandoned in the

wasteland by your evil nurse and raised by emotionally clumsy but well-meaning gnomes, your exile would soon end. Now translate these themes into the actual circumstances of your life. Are you ready to do what it takes to achieve a healing and restoration that have been a long time coming? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

What is sacred? The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said it was anything that you cannot or will not laugh at. But I have the exact opposite view. If I’m unable to crack a joke about what I regard as holy, then it’s not holy. For me, part of what makes an idea or person or object holy is its power to animate my sense of humor and put me in the mood to play. Where do you stand on this issue? If you’re aligned with my view, you will have some wonderful opportunities to commune with the sacred in the coming days. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

In the chorus of my band’s song “Apathy and Ignorance,” I sing, “What is the difference between apathy and ignorance?” and the other two singers chant, “I don’t know and I don’t care.” I recommend you make that chant your mantra in the coming days: “I don’t know and I don’t care.” You really do need to experiment with a mischievous state of mind that is blithely heedless of what anyone thinks about anything. You have the right and the privilege to be free of expectations, precedents and dogmas. It’s an excellent time to at least temporarily declare your independence

from everything that’s not interesting, useful, helpful or appealing. ARIES (March 21-April 19)

The film “Tuck Everlasting” tells the story of a family that becomes immortal after drinking from a magical spring. The two parents and their two sons hide their gift from the world, but eventually a mysterious man in a yellow suit finds out about their secret and stalks them. At one point in his search, this man has a conversation with a young pastor. “What if you could be eternal?” he asks the priest. “Without having to face the uncertainty of death. Invincible to disease. Forever young.” The priest is rattled. “You speak blasphemy, sir,” he protests. “Fluently,” replies the man in the yellow suit. You have that mandate right now: to speak blasphemy fluently, as well as any other rebellious diction. It’s time to rise up and express the unspeakable, the controversial, the revolutionary. TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

There’s substantial evidence that the Amazon River used to flow in the opposite direction from what it does now. Ages ago, its currents traveled westward from the Atlantic Ocean toward the Pacific. I’d like you to hold that image firmly in mind as you contemplate a monumental shift of course in your own life. Let it serve as a surprising symbol of what’s possible — as a promise that you could actually manage to reverse a current that may seem immutable.

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The Highlander - real Bristish pub Frog Hollow Tavern - upscale restaurant & bar / locally sourced

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Tropicabana - salsa. no chips. Pizza Joint - 40 beers on tap and slices Mellow Mushroom - plus full bar

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Sky City - large music venue Firehouse - proud downtown dive 1102 - block deep restaurant & bar Metro Coffee House - coffee, beer, liquor, people Soultry Sounds - jazz club

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Soul Bar - pure fink Playground - rock-n-roll Stillwater Taproom - blugrass before bluegrass was cool Wheels - cool & on the corner The Loft - liquor with attitude

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Frog Hollow Tavern

Friday - Saturday A Cioppino with shrimp, museels, clams, fish, housemade sausages, semi-spicy tomato saffron broth and grilled garlic baguette would go great with a bottle of Cline Viognier. Don't know how to pronounce it? Just point.

Bar on Broad - contemporary South Beach vibe

Cotton Patch - eat, drink, be happy Cafe 209 - soul food & lounge Tipsy McStumbles - confess later Sector 7G laundromat turned landmark Blue Horse Bistro jazz tapas The Sportsman - old school pool hall and burgers Fox’s Lair - coolest bar in America Club Rehab - upscale sportsbar Casa Blanca - JB White’s storefront Wicked Wasabi - authentic Japanese Soy Noodle - Asian sensation New Moon Cafe - ecclectic grindhouse Bees Knees - small plates

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Joe’s Underground - live music underneath Broad St.

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LOOKING FOR

SOMETHING

TO DO TONIGHT?

The Playground

Thursday, June 16 Open Mic with Brandy

YN

Luigi’s - Augusta institution Beamie’s Restuarant & Oyster Bar - taste of the beach downtown The Boll Weevil - great food and the best desserts Mi Rancho - chips & salsa on the Savannah Sweet Lou’s Crab Shack - Broad & 13th

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Joe’s Underground Friday, June 17 John Kolbeck

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Stillwater Tap Room

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Friday, June17 Josh Roberts and The Hinges

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The Joker Lounge girls dancing nightly Fantasy Showgirls girls dancing nightly Discoteque girls dancing nightly

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Eagle’s Nest - best view downtown

Check next week’s issue for an even for extensive restaurant and bar listing

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Sheehan’s

Surrey Tavern the original neighborhood bar The Vue upscale dance club w/ occasional bands

Crums

Sheehan’s Irish Pub Verandah Grill at the Partridge Inn Augusta’s best balcony Club Argos LGBT Crums on Central live jazz on weekends Helga’s med student heaven Bistro 491

Bistro 491

Sidetrack Bar & Grill by the railroad tracks

TakoSushi

Friday - Saturday Sushi is hard to resist here, but try the Posole, a hominy and pork stew with sides of onions, cilantro, tomatoes, sour cream, guacamole, lime, cheese and chips. Goes great with the restaurant's signature Margarita.

Carolina Ale House sports themed restuarant / feat. outdoor covered bar

Friday - Saturday Sit at the elegant bar in this upscale restaurant and sip a Peartini, Grey Goose la Poire, Di Saranno Amaretto and homemade sour mix. Who needs to eat?

Limelite Cafe extensive beer selection Doubletree Hotel TakoSushi Asian / Mexican Fusion French Market Grille West - NOLA in the Garden City Malibu Jacks - beach themed restaurant & bar Rack & Grill true pool hall

Wild Wings Cafe Monday, June 20 ‘80s Karaoke

Cadillacs cozy neighborhood spot

Cadwallader’s Cafe

Friday - Saturday This weekend's special is a pan-roasted halibut with homemade pesto noodles, charred asparagus, wilted organic spinach and a warm gazpacho sauce.

Shannon’s old lounge / new look Allie Katz - good cheap drinks Wild Wings Cafe - live music 7 nights a week Cue & Brew Hooters - hooters Somewhere In Augusta - sports bar & grill Robbie’s Sports Bar - true pool hall Country Club dance hall and saloon Cadwallader’s Cafe

Road Runner Cafe - in front of Coyote’s Coyote’s - great live music & DJs

THE HILL

44 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

BOBBY JONES

WEST AUGUSTA

SOUTH AUGUSTA


New Generation

Raphael Saadiq show appeals to Soul People, and the throwbackticket prices were also a hit Timothy Cox

To think that you could buy tickets to see a Grammy Award-winning, bonafide rock ‘n’ roll star for just $25 is unheard in this era of lofty concert ticket prices. But it’s true. The recent performance starring Raphael Saadiq at the quaint Variety Playhouse in Atlanta’s earthy evirons known as Virginia Highlands was the anticipated performance we all expected. R. Kelly’s upcoming Augusta tour will command 75 bucks a ticket and the June 3 bill featuring Brian McKnight and Joe in Atlanta had an asking price of $134 per — it’s the way of the industry and a sign of the economic times. I could go on. It’s a disturbing national trend. But on this seasonably warm early evening in the ATL, give credit to the former lead singer of Tony! Toni! Tone! for keeping it real. While his solo music reflects music of a bygone era, a la ’60s and ’70s soul, so did the asking price for his concert tickets. Twenty-five dollars per ticket! And man did his fans respond accordingly to Saadiq’s accommodating gesture. With petroleum prices hovering in the $4 range, it was obvious that fans realized that the artist was, in a way, “giving

back” to his loyal followers. And what followed was certainly not a disappointment. In fact, it was everything expected and more. A phenomenal showing of what appeared to be a couple thousand folks squeezed into the theater and the room had a feel of what it must’ve been like at a Sly & The Family Stone concert from say ’69 or so. In purusing the auditorium, you could easily dub the flavor of the room as a diverse menu of neo Soul People. Blacks, whites and so many other folks of various multicultural backgrounds and genders were sprinkled and blended throughout the auditorium — all of ‘em grooving to the soulful, west coast sounds of the headliner and his funky five-piece backing unit, along with an energetic, vocally-gifted background duo. Speaking of Sly Stone’s presence, it’s no coincidence that Saadiq mirrors some of Sly’s soul — considering that both are from the east bay greasy funkified setting known as “Oaktown”: Oakland, Calif.. In addition, both have origins steeped in the Pentacostal black church tradition where rhythm and soul is the backbeat of every Sunday morning service, something Saadiq dubs “Gospeldelic.” Because the show was held on a Wednesday night, the May 18 show

afforded other professional musicians a chance to witness the act. Melanie Davis, lead singer of Melonies Felonies, said she was quite impressed with the performance, especially the backup band and singers. Maria Howell, another Atlanta vocalist and actress, simply stated, “This man is so gifted.” And both ladies were on the mark, too. Saadiq demonstrated his abilities not only as a tremendous vocalist with varying ranges, but also as an experienced musician. His rhythm and lead guitar work was equally commanding. So soulful. So funky. And later, toward the end of the two-hour show, he grabbed the four-string Fender jazz bass guitar and thumbed his way into the band’s groove. Setlist-wise, the music started with a series of commercially unfamiliar tunes that were so groovy they still demanded attention. But as the night progressed he delved into compositions from a quintet of solo LPs he has rendered in recent years since permanently leaving Tony! Toni! Tone!. From the latest album, “Stone Rollin,” Saadiq offered a lively rendition of his latest hit song “Good Man.” Expectedly, the song has a 1960s flavor a la Curtis Mayfield or Isaac Hayes and the live performance reflected the earthy soul of its recorded studio production.

Other crowd-pleasers on this night were a medley which included “All I Ask of You,” “Anniversary” from the Tony! Toni! Tone! days and, of course, his noted duo with his pal D’Angelo, “Be Here.” But it was the driving and pulsating “Love That Girl” and “100 Yard Dash” that brought the house down and spotlighted his animated background vocal-dancing duo. It’s now without wonder why Saadiq was selected to perform onstage at this year’s 53rd Grammy Award telecast along with the legendary Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones. Another little-known fact is that early on, Saadiq spent a few years in Sheila E’s backup band touring with none other than the legendary Prince. Knowing that, it’s understandable why Saadiq works so hard. His influences are impacting. And, on this Atlanta night, like the Purple One, he stayed on stage for nearly two nonstop hours. No breaks. And then returned for not one, but two encores. All for $25 in the new millenium concert era? Simply unhearded of these days and times. Saadiq is still truly a Son of Soul, keeping bygone days live and fresh for a new generation of Soul People.

METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 45


Thursday, June 16 Live Music Coyote’s Rhes Reeves French Market Grille West Doc Easton Joe’s Underground Jamie Jones Malibu Jack’s Wayne Capps One Hundred Laurens Kenny George Rose Hill Stables Preston & Weston Wild Wing Rollin in the Hay The Willcox Four Cats in the Doghouse

Events Cadillac’s Karaoke Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Candy Stripers Cabaret Club Sparx Playlist with Shannon Cocktails Lounge Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) Karaoke Pizza Joint, Evans DJ Kris Fisher The Playground Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s Karaoke Soul Bar Boom Box Villa Europa Karaoke with Just Ben Wheeler Tavern Karaoke Wooden Barrel ‘80s Night Karaoke

Friday, June 17 Live Music Augusta Canal Fred Williams Cotton Patch Brant Quick Country Club Gary Ray & the Heartwells Coyote’s Outshyne Doubletree Hotel 3 Sides of Jazz Fox’s Lair Jeff Johnston French Market Grille West Doc Easton and Karen Gordon Joe’s Underground John Kolbeck Malibu Jack’s Str8 Shot One Hundred Laurens John Kolbeck Shannon’s Preston & Weston Sky City Ritchie Brothers Summer Jam Stillwater Tap Room Josh Roberts and the Hinges USC-A Convocation Center The Temptations Revue, Palmetto Groove Wild Wing Tokyo Joe The Willcox Kenny George

Events Cadillac’s DJ Doug Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Club Sparx DJ Rana and Music Explosion Cocktails Lounge Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub Karaoke with Libby

46 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11

D. and Palmetto Entertainment Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge Caribbean Night with DJ Spud Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke Palmetto Tavern DJ Tim The Place on Broad Rock DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar Pop Life Tropicabana Latin Friday Wooden Barrel Karaoke Contest

Saturday, June 18 Live Music The Acoustic Coffeehouse Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Bell Auditorium Loretta Lynn Blue Horse Bistro Live Music The Cotton Patch Keith Gregory Coyote’s Coaltrain Fox’s Lair Perfect Picture Joe’s Underground Craig Waters & the Session Malibu Jack’s South Atlantic Metro A Coffeehouse Mike Frost Trio P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Shannon’s Pam Bowman Project Sky City Funk You, Dr. Bread Wild Wing Stereotype

Events Cadillac’s DJ Doug Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Club Sparx DJ Wreboot House Party Cocktails Lounge Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge Reggae Night with Island Vybez The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke One Hundred Laurens DJ Kenny Ray The Playground DJ Fugi Tropicabana Salsa Saturday Wooden Barrel Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, June 19 Live Music Crums on Central Jim Perkins

Jessye Norman Amphitheatre Candlelight Jazz w/ Kings of Swing P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Wild Wing Keith Gregory

Events Caribbean Soul Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Peggy Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke, Salsa Dancing

Monday, June 20 Live Music Hopelands Gardens Aiken Brass Soul Bar Metal Monday

Events Applebee’s (Evans) Trivia Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Malibu Jack’s Trivia with Mike Thomas Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Somewhere In Augusta Karaoke with Charles Wild Wing Trivia and ’80s Karaoke

Tuesday, June 21 Live Music Appleby Library The Paul Roberts Band Blue Horse Bistro Tim Sanders Cocktails Lounge Live Music Fox’s Lair John Fisher Joe’s Underground Woody Wood Sector 7G 11 Spirits, We Are the Union, I Call Fives, Handguns, Mudbrute, A Brighter Life Wild Wing Sabo & Mike The Willcox Hal Shreck

Events Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Karaoke with Big Tony Fishbowl Lounge Dart League HD Lounge Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Denny Somewhere in Augusta Trivia with Charles

Wednesday, June 22 Live Music 209 on the River Smooth Grooves Cadillac’s Live Band Joe’s Underground Sibling String Malibu Jack’s Marilyn Adcock

Shannon’s Preston & Weston Wild Wing Low Fidelity The Willcox Hal Shreck

Events Club Argos Santoni’s Satin Dolls Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Trivia Cocktails Lounge Augusta’s Got Talent The Cotton Patch Trivia and Tunes with Cliff Bennett Laura’s Backyard Tavern Karaoke The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Place on Broad Jazz DJ The Playground Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern Karaoke with Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta The Comedy Zone w/ Kurt Green and Eric Counts Wheeler Tavern Trivia

Upcoming Sugarland James Brown Arena June 23 R Kelly, Keyshia Cole, Marsha Ambrosius James Brown Arena June 28 Papa String Band Stillwater Tap Room July 8 Blair Crimmons and the Hookers Stillwater Tap Room July 15 Dave Desmelik Band Stillwater Tap Room July 22 Merle Haggard Bell Auditorium August 6 Keith Urban James Brown Arena August 13 Casting Crowns USC-Aiken Convocation Center November 25

Elsewhere Jo Dee Messina The Frederick Brown Amphitheater, Peachtree City June 18 Daryl Hall & John Oates Chastain Park Amphitheater, Atlanta June 19 New Kids on the Bloxk, Philips Arena, Atlanta June 22 Chris Isaak Chastain Park Amphitheater, Atlanta June 22 Athfest w/ Futurebirds, Centro-Matic, Guadalcanal Diary, Chickasaw Mudd Puppies and Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit Athens June 22-26 Steve Miller Band Chastain Park Amphitheater, Atlanta June 24 Skid Row Wild Bill’s, Duluth June 25 R. Kelly Philips Arena, Atlanta June 25 Dinosaur Jr. Variety Playhouse, Atlanta June 26 Florence and the Machine The Fox Theatre, Atlanta July 1 Jennifer Hudson Chastain Park Amphitheater, Atlanta July 2 Classic City American Music Festival w/ Nomad Artists, Packway Handle Band The Melting Point, Athens July 3


3112 Washington Road (behind Picadilly)

the download Matt Stone

Matt Stone can be heard weekdays from 3-7 p.m. on 95 Rock Raw.

Comedian Marc Maron Plays Therapist Can a podcast feel like therapy? In the case of WTF with Marc Maron, yes, it is possible. Stand-up comedian Marc Maron hosts this highly acclaimed show that is the arguably one of the most talked about podcasts around. Maron spends around an hour twice a week interviewing and sharing stories with the most famous comedians to date. And it’s all done inside of “The Cat Ranch,” better known as his garage. From director Judd Apatow to Garry Shandling to Zach Galifianakis, WTF lands top-profile guests. The difference between WTF and others, though, is the way that Maron approaches his guests. It’s broken down to a true and honest conversation between two people. Maron works through his own problems while dissecting the problems of his guests. It’s not sappy or depressing; it comes off as very honest and real. You relate to Maron and he has a way of bringing out the best in his guests. WTF has not been short of drama. Maron had controversial conversations on joke stealing with the likes of Carlos Mencia, Dane Cook and Robin Williams. He even had a guest walk out on him: Gallagher. But these podcasts turn out to be the most insightful. It’s your behind-the-scenes look into comedy and the life of comedians. With his popularity at an all time high, I tracked down Maron and got him to answer a couple questions. Metro Spirit: You have been able to talk to some of the top comedians in the business. Was there someone you were really surprised said yes? If so, how was the interview? Marc Maron: I was surprised by many. Having Conan [O’Brien] in my garage was completely mind blowing. It was great getting to know him after doing his show 40 some odd times. MS: What is your favorite part about doing WTF? Better than therapy? MM: I like hearing stories,

connecting with guests in a real way and seeing what comes out of the conversations. It’s always spontaneous and I never really know where the talk is going to lead. And yeah, it helps me feel better too. I think the guests dig it as well. MS: You are now hitting a level of success that is new to you. How are you taking it? MM: I’m just not acknowledging that it’s happening. It’s easier that way.

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MS: Any dream guest? MM: Tom Waits, Iggy Pop, Dustin Hoffman. Last, I asked Marc when he was coming to Augusta, I told him that we have some great venues here, and in typical Maron fashion, he responded, “No idea, set something up.” For your taste of WTF, download the Judd Apatow back-to-back episodes. Maron and Apatow break down the history of comedy, and Apatow plays decades-old interviews that he did with the likes of Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno. I’ll end this article the way Maron does his podcast: Are we okay? We’re good right? I mean, okay… I’m done. No, I’m really done. We’re okay? I think we are. Bye.

METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 47


48 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11


earDRUM Sometimes the Smartest People Say the Most Ignorant Things Brian Allen is a local music fan who hosts a weekly podcast, confederationofloudness.com. The front page of the Augusta Chronicle could not help itself on Sunday. I fault them not a bit. One could hardly do worse by calling Augusta a town filled with ignorant savages and automatons. The president of Georgia Health Sciences Univerisity (MCG to you and me) recently said this to a gathering down at the local Rotary Club: “We’ve got to become cool.” (There was a lot more ignorant BS he said as well, but I won’t bore you the ravings of a deluded and self-important man.) This in reference to the implied fact that research scientists will not come to Augusta because our arts and entertainment scene is not cerebral enough to be a draw for the intelligentsia.

It is just like someone who is not invested in the art of diversion (or is this guy) to suggest that there are no diversions... wherever they may be. He can join along with the average 40-something living on McDowell Street in believing that the days of great art and music and creativity are over because you all stopped believing in great art, music and creativity and because you never bothered to cross the street to Tire City Potters when you were gnoshing on the hummus and tuna tartare at The Bee’s Knees. Did you check out the functional art there? Did you attend Banjo-B-Que the other weekend? Did you catch one of the endless lists of live shows happening most every night in the town encompassing pretty much the entire spectrum of

musical styles? Have you seen a play at Le Chat Noir? You do know that Westobou is coming up,right? Some little ole country singer named Roseanne Cash is headlining that event. Not sure what all the fuss is about.<sarcasm off> What I’m going a long way around to say is this: If you’re not stimulated by the arts and entertainment community in Augusta, you are either disengaged or dead. Engage and reap the rewards. Go down the the Saturday market. Go on one the canal cruises. I could go on ad nauseum. In the words of Jedi Master Yoda, “There is no try. Only do or do not.” Dang that Yoda was a wise Muppet. Azziz’s point is a glass half full/empty thing... I’m just not sure on which side of that equation he comes down. How bout

an acknowledgement of potential on your end and a realization that you will never ever get that green space you covet in the middle of your campus? Because between you and me and the fencepost, everyone knows that’s why you bring it up in the first place. If you wanna know what’s sapping the batteries on my iPod right now, well look no further than My Morning Jacket’s “Circuital.” Wonder if that’s “cool” enough for Dr. Azizz? See y’all at the rock show... you know I’m right, Azziz. Brian Allen

This Year’s Westobou the Best Yet Coco Rubio is one of Augusta’s most wellknown music fans, who also owns the Soul Bar and Sky City downtown. So, after my column two weeks ago asking Austin Rhodes to consider playing local music on his radio show, I’m pleased to announce that he’s agreed to listen to 20-45 second cuts of various songs I have by The Cubists and The Shaun Piazza Band. In fact, Austin said that as long as I send him local song clips, he’d try to get them on regular rotation. With that in mind, I’d like to ask any local bands/singer-songwriters to send me their songs via mp3’s at coco@ soulbar.com for a chance to be heard on prime time radio (even if it’s only 30 seconds at a time). Thanks for the support, Austin! Westobou Festival 2011 is taking shape quite nicely, and their new website will be launching soon with all the details you’ll need to see who’s playing when and where. One of the changes taking place this year that I’m very excited about is using the grounds of the old Academy of Richmond County (also known as the old Augusta Museum) at 540 Telfair Street to host the outdoor

Rosanne Cash

concerts for Roseanne Cash on Friday, Sept. 30, and Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings on Friday, Oct. 7. The castle-looking building on Telfair will serve as “Westobou Central” during the 10-day festival and will host a variety of local visual artists as well as an Augusta State University faculty art show. Also look for the popular local music and art Social Canvas performances to take place during the week on the outdoor stage. Other local venues used will include Bell Auditorium (Symphony Orchestra Augusta), The Imperial Theatre (Augusta Ballet, Liz Wright), Sacred Heart Cultural Center (Silent Films of Maya Deren with Music by Mac McCaughan), The Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre at ASU (Ira Glass) and the Morris Museum of Art (Art Rosenbaum), just to name a few. I’ll have more details as they become available, but trust me when I say that this year’s Westobou Festival is looking like the best one yet. See ya downtown, Coco METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 49


Extra Crispy

What’s going on in the food and beverage world throughout the CSRA area.

Rent / Lease 3 BR 2 Bath ranch renewed, Hardwood floors, Large lot, 1291 Brown Rd $990.00/mo.

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Gibson of Gary’s Hamburgers fame. “People keep asking me, ‘Are you going to have Gary’s burgers,’” she said. “It’s the same beef, the same buns, we just try to do it a little different.” Also on Cowabunga’s menu are chicken wings, sandwiches, hot dogs and salads. She offers several different salads, but all contain an ingredient that customers seem to crave. “We have these honey-wheat dough fritters that are glazed with honey, which I’ve been told has the effect of crack on people,” Miller laughed. The small restaurant, which sports wood paneling, two big televisions and a small area of bar seating, resembles a fastcasual outlet, which makes the fact that they serve a selection of steaks all the more surprising. “Columbia County doesn’t have a steakhouse,” she noted. “We are by no means a steakhouse but I would love to work toward that. I just wanted to give people in Columbia County an opportunity to have a good steak without having to drive too far down the road.” Summer, Miller admitted, is typically downtime in the restaurant industry

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since many diners are on vacation or participating in activities other than eating out. She said the slow start is turning out to be a blessing in disguise, giving her and her staff and opportunity to work out any kinks in service and work on long-range plans. Those plans include serving beer and wine, which she hopes to have a license for within the next two months. She wants to develop a family-style menu on Sunday, in which tables can order one or two meats, which will come with sides that everyone can share. Miller is also working out the details of

tailgate packages she’ll make available during football season, in which customers can place orders and pick up coolers packed with food, plates and napkins, all ready to go. And she’s planning to stay open late on Friday nights during high school football season. Cowabunga Grill is located at 4460 Washington Rd., Ste. 20, in Evans. It is open Monday-Saturday, 11 a.m.-9 p.m. and Sundays, 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m. All major credit cards accepted. For more information, call 706-504-4450.

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Karen Avery Miller is an admitted fan of beef. She and her husband raise purebred Red Angus cattle and she worked at TBonz for 13 years, starting as server and ending up as general manager and managing partner. So the name of her new Columbia County restaurant, as well as one of the primary ingredients on its menu, should come as no surprise to anyone. Cowabunga Grill opened Friday, June 10, at 4460 Washington Road in Evans in a corner spot of a strip center that also houses Goolsby’s and Augsburg Haus. Many aspects of Miller’s restaurant set it apart from others, though. “It’s funny,” she said recently during a late afternoon lull at the restaurant, “I know we’ve only been open a few days, but the things we’re doing differently seem to set us apart.” An early favorite on the menu is Cowabunga’s stuffed burgers, patties filled with the customer’s choice of cheddar and bacon, jalapenos and pepper jack, or mushrooms and swiss. Miller said she was initially skeptical of serving burgers because many of her customers know that her partner is Gary


Ball

Matt Lane is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-TalkSports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com.

Matt Lane

Price Sets Mark, Achieves It Best of luck to Will Price, formerly of the Greenbrier Wolfpack, now a member of the Colorado Rockies organization. Will was selected in the 45th round by the Rockies and now begins his professional career after a stellar senior season. The story of his rise to draftee is uplifting and full of old-fashioned hard work and determination. We’ve all fallen victim to setting benchmarks in our lives for outcomes we want, but don’t want to work for to obtain. It’s not that we give up; we just half-heartedly pursue them until they become unimportant to us. Price decided to skip the self-sabotage, set his expectations as high as he could and get to work. And the work he put in during last summer translated well into production for the Wolfpack this past year, as he put up a 59 RBI, which is something that’s unheard of here locally on the high school level. He also added 11 home runs to go with his .511 batting average, his own heightened expectations driving his forceful bat. “I set my goals pretty high this year and got in the weight room every day. I always thought I could have a year like this, it just happened to be my senior year,” says Price. His dream was to get drafted, so he made sure he left no stone unturned in achieving it. Simple as that.

Gamecocks Make Light Work of Huskies

South Carolina is headed back to Omaha, Neb., for the College World Series after sweeping the Connecticut Huskies in Super Regional play this past weekend. This time they arrive as the defending national champions. They are a talented and scrappy bunch led by junior pitcher Michael Roth and senior infielders Adrian Morales and Scott Wingo. Watch and see if the Gamecocks have what it takes as they battle the best in the nation in the brand new picturesque $131 million TD Ameritrade Park. Also, I have a few copies of “Gamecock Glory,” Travis Haney’s heartening account of the 2010 championship season left to give away. Send an email for your free copy to mattlane28@gmail.com. The State In Columbia, S.C., said “‘Gamecock Glory,’ the recount of a brilliant season, has a narrative that is authoritative, amusing and, most important, compelling.”

College World Series Schedule June 18 North Carolina vs. Vanderbilt, 2 p.m. on ESPN or espn3.com. Texas vs. Florida, 7 p.m., on ESPN or espn3.com. June 19 California vs. Virginia, 2 p.m., on ESPN or espn3.com. Texas A&M vs. South Carolina, 7 p.m., on ESPN2 or espn3.com. Double elimination tournament leading to a best-of-three championship series. Games continue through June 28-29. Follow the action at cwsomaha.com. METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11 51


52 METRO SPIRIT 6.16.11


advice goddess Amy Alkon

Meek and Potatoes My co-worker was really hung up on a guy. She was convinced he liked her, and she did all the flirty things you advise, but he never made a move. This went on for months since she, like you, thought women should never, ever ask a man on a date. I finally persuaded her to offer to make him a homecooked meal. He thanked her but said he had a girlfriend. So, now she can put this behind her. She’s actually relieved she finally made a move. — Wise Friend When a woman flirts and flirts with a guy and he still doesn’t ask her out, she knows there must be a reasonable explanation: 1. Hairball stuck in his throat. 2. He sprained his tongue. 3. He’s temping as a monk. The woman can either wait months

and months for him to cough up that hairball or accept that there’s probably a more reasonable explanation: He’s not interested, not available or not man enough to tape hair on his chest and squeak out “You doin’ anything Friday night?” A guy who’s not that interested might still go out with a woman if she asked. Great — if she wants a man who’s not that into her but who’ll hang around for a while (longer when his favorite TV show is in reruns). In the case of “not man enough,” some women tell themselves, “No problem! I’m man enough to ask him!” They end up with a “not man enough” instead of a man. A little water and sunlight will grow carrot greens out of carrot tops in a jar lid, but there’s yet

Boy Meats Girl In the wake of the penis photo tweet that started “Weinergate,” I’m wondering whether women are actually turned on when they get a photo of some dude’s package. — Curious Guy Who’s Never Done Such a Thing Note that there’s a restaurant called Hooters but none called Testicles. While men get aroused by visuals alone, women typically need touch and emotion. Dr. Meredith Chivers’ sexual arousal studies show that women do get turned on by video of strangers having sex (including, weirdly, strangers who are bonobo chimps), but strange men’s disembodied bits really don’t do it for most. (What, you were expecting “Wow, you stuck a cameraphone in your crotch just for me?”)

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Once a woman’s involved with a guy, she might be into the occasional peen-mail. But, emailing a woman you don’t know a shot of your naked trousersaurus is like hitting on her at a party by unzipping your fly and letting it all hang out: “Will ya look at this! Impressive, huh?” At least on the Internet, you won’t hear her run away screaming, “Eeeuw! Gross! Creepy!” (or howling with laughter as she hits “forward”). Sure, emailing your meat takes less effort than buying a trench coat and heading down to the corner, but it’s about as bad an idea. Generally speaking, the only package a woman wants coming to her from some stranger via the Internet is one from Sephora or zappos.com. (Think new shoes, not new schnitzel.)

to be a relationship that’s produced spontaneous growth of testicles. Enabling “not man enough” can have some unpleasant repercussions. What the man-worm lacks in assertiveness he usually makes up for in passiveaggressiveness. And say he and the woman are stopped by muggers. Do you think a guy who practically wets himself at the mere thought of asking a woman out will try to protect her… or push her toward the bad guys and shout, “Here, take my girlfriend! Call me from U-rapeistan and let me know how it all went.” Being an adult involves accepting that you can’t always have all the answers, all spelled out. Sometimes, you have to take no answer for a “no,” like when your eyelashes are about to fall out from all the batting and a guy still isn’t

doing any asking. Yeah, I know — somebody’s fourth cousin’s second-best girlfriend asked her husband out and now they’re living blissfully ever after. But, in general, a guy who could be really into a woman will be less into her if all he has to do to get her is sit there and look pretty. Romantic pursuit is a two-person dance, not a one-woman show. It’s the woman’s job to put out the “Yoohoo, I like you” vibes. She then needs to wait for a response. If none comes, she needs to move on — tempting as it is to try to go from zero to nesty before they’ve even had a first date: “Home-cooked supper, Pa? Or would you prefer a getto-know-you barn-raising?”

©2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email adviceamy@aol.com. Also visit advicegoddess.com and read Amy Alkon’s book: “I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society” (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

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austin R

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Debt Increasing; Solutions, Anyone? So here we are, a year away from an election that could dramatically change national leadership, and the way this country’s government (and perhaps all western governments) deals with almost an insurmountable debt and outrageous entitlement obligations for the next 60 years. But when we will hear about real change? In the last four years we have seen virtually every constant that we knew in the worlds of business and high finance turned upside down. We have seen dozens of blue chip, Fortune 500 companies bankrupted and liquidated, or worse, put on federal government subsidy/welfare programs that goes against every principle of what capitalism and business independence is supposed to be. What have we learned from any of this? Apparently, not a hell of a whole lot. The president and his top officials have

not offered a single solitary new plan, idea or proposal to change the way Americans think about business, or the finances of the local, state and federal governments that already tax achievement and success at confiscatory rates. Well, nothing except the federal takeover of our health care system, which most intelligent wage earners recognize is a nightmare riding a train into a brick wall at 200 miles per hour. With the exception of a few longshot presidential candidates, no one is even willing to suggest the kind of radical change that will be needed for our way of life to survive, and, so far, Michele Bachmann, Ron Paul and Herman Cain are not getting much traction in the national media. So where is the new leadership... where are the new ideas... where is the realization that what has gone before ain’t gonna work anymore?

No one seems to know. At least the business community seems to have gotten the message. I have seen it in my own company. During the tough times, there were reductions in staff, salary, expenses and capital improvements. Now that we have gotten past the (initial) crisis point, things are getting better, but we will likely never see a return of some of the positions that were eliminated. That is not a sign that we have given up, but it is a sign that our business model has changed, and we have changed forever to accommodate the times. We do things differently because the times demanded it. When will government get the same message? Are there any rational liberals among us who actually believe that we can tax the rich (the rich that are remaining, that is) to deliver us from our current fix? Are there any conservatives who still believe we can fix it all by reducing the tax rate across the board without drastic spending cuts, that, quite frankly, no one has the guts to even suggest? The change is only going to come from outside the box thinking, and rarely do we

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see that kind of innovation from men like the established front runners for president, incumbent Barack Obama and GOP challenger Mitt Romney, both of whom have been neck deep in the political status quo since they were in knickers. You may have noticed this week’s column is a bit short, and I am leaving it that way to emphasize that I don’t have any answers to the problems that face us either. Not answers that would be Constitutional or palatable to the average citizen, anyway. Those of us who understand the quandary are going to have to wait until the misery and confusion trickles down to the masses (even more so than we have yet seen) before the necessity for reform is forced upon us in a dramatic sense. Take the blank space that sits at the end of this column and scribble down your brilliant plan to save the planet and mail it to the people you think need to see it. Oh, and please include me on that list. The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.



Metro Spirit 06.16.2011