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WHINELINE

out there. His MFA degree either stands for “Minds F-ing Altered” or better yet “Missing Fundamental Appendages”. Surely you can do better.

The last Triple Crown winner for the ponies was Affirmed in 1978. EVERY year since If Augusta had better then, as soon the winning public city bus service more horse crosses the finish businesses would move to line at The Kentucky Derby, Augusta. This means the that horse gets thrown into economy would improve. Augusta would actually be a the “Triple Crown” talk. It’s more jobs, more money. pretty nice place to live if it called “marketing” people. Enough already. Who the hell were not for the high crime, Do you think ORB is going to really win the Triple is Josh Ruffin blowing at the the corrupt politicians and the fact that the place smells Crown? Really? Now, if you’ll Spirit to deem a full page? I cant believe you cant find like a turd most of the time. excuse me, I’ve got to go more entertaining writers

get my $600 million dollar winning Power-Ball tickets for tonight. A horse is horse of coarse of coarse.... Either you have no true spirit or your afraid of her reguardless you edit your whines which is in bad etiquette ..... But what would I know I view in technicolor not “leave it to beaver “

o r t e m IRIT SP black and white!( vague enough for your sensor ?) (continued on page 42)

Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Kristin Hawkins |Rhonda Jones |Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|Matt Stone|Adam Wadding|Jenny Wright

o r t e m IR P S

INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES

WHINE LINE

EricJohnson|news editor eric@themetrospirit.com

Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

CONTENTS

8Cobra Strike 10 11 12 16

Independently Thinking: Bowles considers state Senate run Dead Aim: Grovetown teen takes area dart title by skewering his adult competition TSPLOST and Found: Riverwatch expansion finds traction with tax New Shoreline: Riverkeeper to convince commission her plan is right

Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 COVER DESIGN: KRUHU


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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER

What Drought? It’s raining candidates in just about every jurisdiction, and while some will certainly find themselves quickly swept down the gutter, there are several interesting matchups on the horizon. With Deke already sharpening his pencils to write that book of his, plenty of his colleagues seem to be eager to take his place. Few were surprised when Alvin Mason made his intentions official, given his love of center stage, and Corey Johnson has been cultivating that calm, non-threatening demeanor for so long he must feel like Deke’s rightful heir by now. And while a Joe Jackson administration might start to give some the impression that Augusta has gone the way of “Duck Dynasty,” those close to the Marble Palace are reminding people that there’s a reason the show’s starting to beat out “American Idol.” Of course, Hardie Davis could always decide to give Augusta his undivided attention and join the fun. Then, the field would be split into so many different slices that the pressure not to screw up would be almost unbearable. With that many, one wrong quote could be enough to keep you from the runoff. Should Davis vacate his Senate seat, Joe Bowles will almost certainly be unable to turn his back on the opportunity to fill it. No matter what he might be saying now, election watchers tend to put little stock in the “I want to spend more time with my family” argument when it comes in direct response to a “hat’s in” report. And all that’s just what’s going on here at home. The Senate race is shaping up to be just as crowded, though last weekend’s straw poll by the Young Republicans at the Georgia Republican Convention must have Paul Broun all tied up in knots. Though the first candidate to declare finished with 14 votes, he came in third behind Jack Kingston with 21 and the justannounced Karen Handel with 42. Handel enters the race with plenty of name recognition and a well-oiled statewide team tailor made for the campaign at hand. And then don’t forget District 12. With the seemingly undefeatable John Barrow turning his back on the Senate to stay right where Republicans seem unable to move him, the field seems a little intimidated. Though the wounds from last year’s grudge match between Wright McLeod and Rick Allen are still fresh, it’s tough to imagine those egos hanging back now that they’ve had a taste of the fight. Throw in Tommie Williams and John Stone and you’ve got the makings of yet another unforgettable campaign season.

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Once More, With Feeling So now it seems bus company Mobility Transit has decided to sue the city over the termination of its contract. Of course, this should surprise no one, since Augusta’s procurement issues have been keeping attorneys on all side well fed for years. The wrinkle? Attorney Robert Mullins is representing Mobility. You’ll remember Mullins. He’s the one who got the city involved in the federal lawsuit over its disparity data. More recently, he’s targeted Augusta’s procurement practices in a national legal magazine, so you can only imagine the hay he’s getting ready to make with this one. Motivated self-interest paired with a long history of success could mean some late nights for Augusta’s legal team… and maybe some changes in the way the city does business.

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Zone Defense In Columbia County, you’ve got to figure any kind of rezoning for a large number of homes will receive a special kind of scrutiny, especially after the Magnolia Trace situation that has some Martinez residents still seeing red. So when developer Joe Todd came in wanting to turn a failed professional park on Furys Ferry into 26 townhomes, you knew he was in for a bumpy ride. To a lot of people, townhomes are nothing more than fancy apartments, and Columbia County residents didn’t like apartment dwellers even before they came out against the teachers and law enforcement providers the Magnolia Trace development was tailored for. So when Todd wouldn’t emphatically refuse to say he might rent out the townhomes, commissioners had no choice but to say no, which they did unanimously. Which means instead of having 26 new residential units, the county continues to have a parking lot for nothing.

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The Choice

Sometimes a little mud is worth the experience A couple of weeks ago, I read Bill Bryson’s “A Walk in the Woods,” an account of his attempt to hike the Appalachian Trail. I think I avoided reading Bryson for so long because I got caught up in his reputation as a writer whom, more than anything else, people read so that they could feel as if they were putting in just enough effort to make the reading of a book seem an accomplishment. A couple miles north of Tom Clancy, a couple south of Hemingway, you know? I was, like many college- or grad school-aged kids tend to be, a little haughty for my own good, and mildly scoffed when, staying at a hostel in Salida, Colorado, during my tenure on the Southwest Conservation Corps, a fellow guest recommended the book to me. It was — let’s be honest, predictably — sitting on the common room bookshelf in between copies of the I Ching and a slim volume of poetry by Robinson Jeffers (along with Gary Snyder, a sort of poet laureate of the Earth Mother). This guy obviously knew what he was talking about: he was in the middle of hiking the Arizona Trail — a 1,300-mile jaunt that stretches from the U.S.-Mexico border all the way the hell up to Utah — and physically, at 60, made most 20-year-olds look bad. I told him I might give it a shot, then went back to reading Thomas Pynchon, because I was a gibbering ass who didn’t know the first thing about literature, still. Anyway, I finally picked up “A Walk in the Woods” because I had just finished reading a biography of David Foster Wallace, a memoir by Nick Flynn and a book of awesome but bats**t crazy poetry by Matthew Rohrer, and I needed respite. Spoiler alert: I actually ended up liking the book quite a lot, for two reasons: the aforementioned break it gave my brain and attention span. Bryson’s good, but reading his work does not mandate absolute commitment and monastic focus. His writing is exhaustively researched, though colloquially presented, and it helps that he’s also funny as hell (“What would I do if I encountered a bear? Why, I would die, of course.”) Fast-forward to now: seven hours ago, I completed a five-mile “mud run” here in Madison. If you’ve never done one of these things, I assure you that it is exactly what it sounds like it is: five miles of jogging through ankle-, knee- and hip-deep mud, interspersed with obstacles like eight-foot walls, dish soapsoaked inclines, balance beams slicked by refuse, eventually carrying about 20 extra pounds of mud-

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soaked clothes while doing so. At the end, you get a bratwurst and a couple of beers — Capital beers, but still — to try and dull the fact that you paid $50 to wade through muck for an hour. I initially started writing this column because I picked out some rather obvious parallels between the mud run narrative and Bryson’s expedition: of course the

somewhat truncated treks through the wilderness or something resembling it, the sense of community, etc. What I really want to get into, though, is the dichotomy of the shared — I think, by humanity in general — to break the monotony of paint-by-numbers life, held up against the still-controlled manner in which we do it. My own motivations for doing the run were simple, and rooted in a similar reasoning that took me out

to Colorado to carve out precipitation-diverting trenches: why not? And while my Conservation Corps experience was exponentially wilder — filtering our own water, avoiding javalinas at night in the desert — than an organized charity event like today’s, we were never truly alone, never truly helpless. Still — and this is key — we didn’t have to do it. Had I not been hired by the SWCC, there would have been any number of ever-willing candidates for the position, probably more enthusiastic than me (seriously, talk to anyone from Prescott College). I didn’t have to wear the same two T-shirts without laundry for two weeks straight, eat granola with powdered milk every morning for breakfast, or shake scorpions out of my boots. Likewise, I didn’t have to spend a perfectly good Sunday morning slogging through filth for charity and a brat; I certainly didn’t have to pay for it. It is a great privilege and responsibility to be afforded the choice as to whether or not you will complicate your own life. Some — Flynn, who was born to an alcoholic, delusional father and a psychologically unstable mother; Wallace, who couldn’t resolve either his own demons or the impossibility of perfection — have no control over where and how their lives take root, and therefore no control, to an extent, over how it unfolds. Maybe that’s why they turned out to be geniuses; circumstances demanded it. What puts us all — and I mean all — on the same rhetorical and existential playing field, however, is this: when presented with that choice, we decided to make things difficult, even more so than they already were. Bryson, middle-aged and successful, chose to hike the AT; a soft college boy went to dig ditches in the woods; Flynn, rather than put the nightmares of his early life behind him, instead chooses to live with them in order to support himself. I’m not saying you should live a dirty life. But a little jog through the muck every now and again? That makes for killer hindsight, and for remarkable perspective — whether you crawl or barrel forward.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

MONEY

DOESN’T

GROW ON TREES (Although some local tree services must believe belililiev be evee it does ev ddoe oess according oe acco ac cord co rdin rd ingg to their in tthe heir he ir estimates!) est estim sttim imat ates at ess!))

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Which Bible Verse Tells You to Lie? Based on the evidence I have seen and the testimony I have heard regarding the case of Tennessee-based street screamer (preacher) Larry Craft, I believe the religious zealot to not only be of questionable sanity, but an outright liar to boot. Arrested Masters Week, on Par Three Wednesday in front of Gate 6 at Augusta National, the oddball and his court-appointed attorney were able to outsmart the State Solicitor’s team on charges of trespassing and obstruction of an officer. Craft has spent many April days over the last decade standing across from the main pedestrian entrance of the course with his 12-foot-tall signs, extolling God’s coming judgment and mildly casting aspersions at those with whom’s fashion or moral behavior he objected. The criticisms and rude comments, usually directed at young people whose sexual behavior or practices he questioned, seemed to be louder than in previous years. His insults of an apparently gay couple almost resulted in a fist fight early in the week before being broken up by a deputy, who urged the offended party to keep moving, and Craft to “shut up.” That did not sit well with Preacher Craft, who then began to demand a face-to-face meeting with the officer’s new boss Richard Roundtree, so he could personally lodge a complaint. (Good luck getting that meeting, pal.) The temperamental Tennessean started predicting that if Roundtree would not come out to see him, he would enter the Augusta National to see him. On the day of his arrest, he gave the deputies on duty at the gate an ultimatum to either summon Roundtree, or he was going to “cross the street” at 1 p.m. Berkman’s Road at Gate 6 has a pedestrian gathering area on the parking lot side, and of course the main entrance to the course on the other side. People are not supposed to loiter there. The security people don’t like it; they never have. The gathering area is where Craft and his merry band of apostles have been standing for years, with very little problem from the law. Craft knew good and well when he left that area to make his way across the street that he was going to be arrested. As a matter of fact, he was told that point blank in several conversations the day before he decided to push the envelope and call the security team’s hand. When Roundtree did not appear to hear Crafts complaints at the

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appointed time, he crossed the street. Officers warned him what was about to happen, and he refused to move. That was when Captain Scott Gay was called to the scene, and that is the moment the camera started rolling that captured the millisecond before Gay started to arrest Craft for trespassing. The arrest itself appeared to be fast, and with very little warning. Then again, video shot on a Tokyo backlot in 1964 clearly shows Godzilla eating high-rise buildings. Obviously, there are times when video does not tell the whole story. Like the fact that Larry Craft has been talking to Captain Scott Gay about his religious protests every year for the last six years. He knew full well who the captain was, and that he is a ranking officer working for the Richmond County Sheriff. The video did not show that Craft had been escalating his aggression toward patrons since his arrival this year, and was becoming a serious threat to the peace and a hindrance to the safe pedestrian crossing at Gate 6. The video did not show Captain Gay in personal discussions with Craft both days prior to his arrest, where he was warned repeatedly to tone it down and quit bothering people with his indecent and smarmy commentary. Craft was warned, then he was warned again and again. He was told if he crossed the street to the main entrance, he would be arrested. The video, shot by Craft’s team, shows none of that. Simply put, you cannot have a street screamer impeding fastmoving pedestrian traffic at the main gate of Augusta National. In these post 9/11 days, those rules are there to protect public safety, and Craft’s own ignorant ass as well. There are those who want to claim “right of way” access to where Craft was standing (a certain number of feet from the center of the road), and they may have a point if he was moving along in a peaceful and orderly manner. What a pedestrian does not have the right to do is set up a “stand” in a busy pedestrian area on private property. Passing through is one thing; standing still with a sign is another. If you think Craft had a right to be there, imagine your own protester, set up 12 feet down your home driveway (the “legal” right of way, according to law), yelling at your kids about what sluts they are and asking your elderly mother (who wears pant suits) if she is a lesbian.

The video starts with Gay telling Craft he is under arrest, and then attempting to cuff him, and Craft resisting the effort. The video clearly shows that Craft is resisting, and only a fool would deny it. According to every officer I asked, once a man being arrested resists cuffs, they have the right to plant his face down where he stands, until it is determined that he is unarmed and no threat to anyone. Craft was not “planted” where he stood, which was on concrete. He was hustled without harm to a soft grassy area about 15 feet away, where he continued to resist arrest. The only officers on the scene were those assigned to the gate and Gay, who supervises outside security for the club during tournament week. When he was finally cuffed, he did not have a scratch on his crazy little head. No tazers, no choke holds, no blood. To be honest, in comparison to what could have happened, and often does in identical situations, he was molly coddled. So why was Craft acquitted this week in state court? The defense attorney was able to convince the jury that Craft was simply taking advantage of the “right-of way” loophole, and that he had a right to be where he was. Common sense exceptions and special circumstances be damned. (Ironically, the state maintains Craft was well beyond what the law defined as the boundary.) The jury bought it when Craft apparently testified he had not been warned. They bought it when it was hinted that Craft had no idea who (the plainclothes-wearing) Gay happened to be. The outcome of the case may escalate the Augusta National’s plans to expand their property and buy up what is currently Berkmans Road, so that the “right-of-way” loophole becomes a moot point. In the future, there will be no right of way anywhere near an entrance gate. Also, we may soon see personal video and audio recorders strapped to all police personnel so they can use such footage to their advantage. Hard to believe it, but apparently the National does not have such equipment set up at Gate 6. I bet they will next year.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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ERICJOHNSON

Cobra Strike

Flying a mission over Columbia County

One of the first things you notice when you’re in the air over Columbia County is the number of churches. Churches and swimming pools. One of the first things you notice when you’re in the air over Columbia County in a Cobra attack helicopter is how vulnerable it all is. Thanks to the generosity of Thunder Over Augusta’s co-founder Donnie Thompson, I was able to come to these realizations during a 12-minute flight in one of the Army Aviation Heritage Foundation’s AH1-F Cobras. Opportunities to do something like this are rare, even for aviation buffs like me with the occasional special connection. Few Cobras are flyable and even fewer give rides, but thanks to the Army Aviation Heritage Foundation’s nonprofit status, lucky people like me can ride in the Cobra or the UH-1 Huey, which is widely recognized as the workhorse of the of the Vietnam War. Inside the helicopter, the headset not only allowed me to communicate with the pilot sitting behind me, it eliminated the sound of the engine and the rotors, so I honestly don’t know how loud the flight was. I can say, however, that it was nowhere near as rough as I thought it would be. I expected vibration, but aside from a little shake at the start when the spinning of the rotors began to increase, the entire flight was remarkably smooth. Though I’ve flown in several different kinds of aircraft, including a flight with Team RV before last year’s Boshears Skyfest, I’d never been up in a helicopter before, and I expected it to feel more like an amusement park ride than actual flight. After all, with an airplane, the relationship between speed and 8

METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

attitude makes a certain kind of fundamental sense. But hovering… unless you’re Iron Man or an insect, there’s nothing natural about it. Yet to my surprise, there was nothing all that unnatural about it, either. When the engine reached a certain pitch, we just rose up and moved off. I’m sure I don’t have to say this, but it was incredibly, unbelievably cool. Though I was initially a little distracted by trying to take pictures and video, neither of which managed to capture anything remotely similar to the experience, I eventually settled down and decided to enjoy the adventure as it presented itself. By now, we were over what appeared to be Betty’s Branch. I say it appeared to be, because it looked awfully wide to be Betty’s Branch, but at the same time, it didn’t look wide enough to be the Savannah River. This was my fault. By concentrating on my picture taking, I’d lost track of where I was, and because this was a helicopter, there was no running geometry to fall back on, no sense of a rate of climb that you could match up with time in the air to come up with a guess at how high you might be. Not even generally. Ultimately, it didn’t really matter how high we were, because right then we lost nearly all our altitude as the pilot decided to execute an attack maneuver. My pilot was an excellent narrator and described every element of the attack — what we would have been firing, when we would have been firing it and what damage that firing likely would have caused — but unfortunately I don’t remember the specifics. I don’t even remember being particularly uncomfortable hurling head first toward the earth. What I do remember is feeling sorry for those poor bastards on the ground. They wouldn’t have

stood a chance. About the time I finished thinking that, I was forced into another thought — who the hell knew a helicopter was this maneuverable? (Just so you know — when you’re thinking in a Cobra, your thoughts start deviating from what the AP Stylebook allows). The Cobra proceeded to climb more or less straight up, then roll over on its back as we changed direction and came back across the target from the opposite direction. The pilot asked if I was doing okay and I gave him a thumbs up so emphatic I heard him chuckle over the radio as we did the maneuver again, then again, before finally — literally — stopping in midair. There, we hovered and considered the imaginary destruction we’d inflicted upon that unlucky piece of real estate we’d been systematically chewing up. At that point, our time allotted to do this was almost up, so we cruised on back to the Evans Towne Center Park area, passing up targets of opportunity too numerous to count. Of course, I couldn’t resist buying a T-shirt, and I left the area clutching the signed “Certificate of Authenticity” they gave me like I was a kid (it’s now hanging on the wall above my desk), but I came away with something else, too. I came away with a renewed respect for the people who strap themselves into weapons of war and a gratitude for those who have experienced things like we pretended to do up there above Betty’s Branch or the Savannah River or wherever it was. Because they did it, I never had to, and the older I get, the more I realize what a debt I really owe. 23MAY2013


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Coming Soon to Evans! Opening May 2013

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www.firstbankofga.com 23MAY2013

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ERICJOHNSON

Independently Thinking Bowles considers state Senate run

Joe Bowles

Though recent media reports have former commissioner Joe Bowles running for the District 22 state Senate seat currently held by Augusta Democrat Hardie Davis, Bowles suggested Monday that those reports might be a tad overanxious. “It’s just under consideration,” he said. “The biggest factor right now is my wife and my family. Right now, I couldn’t tell you if I’m in or not. Probably closer to not being in. I would love to do it, but I just don’t know at

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this point.” Though Bowles has said that he enjoys being out of the spotlight, he admitted that he still feels the tug of public service. “I think maybe in 10 years, probably once the kids are out of the house and I wouldn’t be away from them, I think then it would be easier on the family,” he said. “That’s the most important thing right now.” However, politics don’t always follow family time lines, and if the political pundits are correct and Davis vacates his seat to join the already crowded mayor’s race, Bowles might find such an opportunity tough to pass up.

He estimated that he’d need to make an official decision no later than November, and he sounded under no pressure to do it any sooner. One way or the other. Though he sounds undecided about a lot of things, one thing he made abundantly clear: if he runs, it will be as an independent. “I think when you’re unhappy with both parties, it’s best to stand clear of both of them,” he said. Winning a state-level campaign in the current political climate as an independent might actually be easier than trying to get anything done outside the party structure once elected, but he said the track record of the current legislative delegation is so woeful that he thinks people would be willing to risk their vote on something new. “I think any time when you’ve got sitting representatives that don’t have access to the governor, it can’t get much worse than that,” he said. “And when you finally get somebody that’s getting some play with the governor, they end up screwing him on something and then he’ll no longer talk to him.” He pointed to legislative action supporting the road use of golf carts, which was co-sponsored by Rep. Barbara Sims, as the biggest thing he’s seen come out of Atlanta that affected Augusta in the last eight years. “And that doesn’t really affect Augusta other than through the production of golf carts,” he said. “Other than that, there hasn’t been much. It’s almost like people are going up there and going through the motions rather than going up there and representing Augusta.” He was particularly critical of Davis, who raised eyebrows and ire for his vote in favor of the charter school amendment. Another factor lined up against Bowles if he runs is the recent emergence of a black political power structure that would almost certainly draft a candidate to run against him, should Davis run for mayor. It’s something Bowles dismissed as old line thinking. “I’ve voted for white people and I’ve voted for black people,” he said. “I’m sure you’ve got 10 percent of the whites that vote for white candidates and 10 percent of the blacks vote for blacks, but they’re slowly but surely dying out.”

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ERICJOHNSON

Dead Aim

Grovetown teen takes area dart title by skewering his adult competition

Grovetown Senior Ian McDermott beat several nationally ranked throwers to become the top darter in the Savannah River Dart Association. He received his award last Saturday at a ceremony at the American Legion Hall on Richmond Hill Road. It’s the first time in league history that someone under 21 has accomplished this feat. “I guess it just gives me an overwhelming and proud feeling that I’ve been able to take what the other darters have taught me and that I’ve been able to progress as fast as I’ve been able to,” McDermott says. Don’t mistake politeness and humility for softness, however — McDermott is a cutthroat competitor who makes seasoned dart throwers look foolish. His father, Steve, started taking Ian and his twin brother Josh to adult tournaments last year, and it wasn’t long before both started winning matches and climbing the rankings. This year, Ian was unstoppable. He managed to perfect his ability to stay calm under pressure, which helped him overcome the nerves associated with playing against more accomplished adults. “I was literally shaking in my boots,” McDermott says of his early adult matches. “But once I figured out that we were all just trying to have a good time and throw darts, things became a little easier.” McDermott throws out of the American Legion because he doesn’t have to be 21 to get in, though his father says they travel to various area bars for competitions. Even though the kids are underage, they are allowed in so they can play against the other adults. “For as long as I’ve been in the league, which is 20 years, the bartenders know me, so they don’t have any problem letting my sons in as long as I’m with them,” Steve McDermott says. “The way I look at it, it’s about teaching them right from wrong. They’ve grown up with me drinking a beer at the house, so it’s not like they’ve never seen it.” Steve says they’ve even started traveling to dart tournaments in Savannah and Greenville, which is something they will probably start doing more often as time permits. “We don’t travel any farther than that simply because I have to work, and they’re usually three-day tournaments,” he says. McDermott has been throwing darts since he was five and his father had to set up a chair in front of the dartboard so he and his brother could retrieve their darts. Now, he practices three hours every day. And as if that’s not enough, he and his brother started a dart club at Grovetown High School, though few in the club are willing to play him. “Some people who play are like — okay, I don’t want to play you — but they just want to learn more and more about it,” he says. “I figure if I can get just one more person to throw darts, that’s one more person who can possibly join the league, either now or later on down the road.” Because competition-level dart throwing is more sophisticated than simply trying to hit the bulls eye, and because the tournament games are not played on the electronic machines that do all the figuring for you, McDermott says the sport has helped hone his math skills, especially algebra. “It helps me just trying to figure out if I hit this, then it will leave me this and I’ll need this many of a certain number,” he says. “Especially with the game 501 having so many various outs — it gives you different ways to look at the number.” Those math skills have paid off in more just darts. McDermott, who graduates Saturday, plans on majoring in nuclear engineering. 23MAY2013

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ERICJOHNSON

TSPLOST and Found Riverwatch expansion finds traction with tax

Though the TSPLOST remains a controversial issue among tax-averse voters, the top item on Columbia County’s wish list — the extension of Riverwatch Parkway — is beginning to move from dream toward reality thanks to its implementation. Last week, the Georgia Department of Transportation (GDOT) held an informational meeting to help inform the public about a month-long detour that will be part of the project’s initial phase. “Basically, what we’re doing is closing the intersection of Columbia Industrial Boulevard at Old Evans Road,” says Construction and Maintenance Director Matt Schlachter. “We’re closing it because we’re building a bridge over the railroad tracks. We actually have to raise the Old Evans/new Riverwatch to get clearance over the railroad tracks.” Once it’s raised, Columbia Industrial Boulevard will be raised to meet the elevation of the new road. During construction, traffic will be detoured using Blue Ridge Drive, Evans to Locks Road and North Belair Road. “The bridge will actually sit to the side of Old Evans Road,” Schlachter says. “It’s not actually on the footprint of Old Evans Road.” The Riverwatch expansion project widens and improves Old Petersburg Road and Old Evans Road. It consists of a four-lane roadway with bike lanes and a 20foot raised median. It will have urban shoulders, including curb and gutter and sidewalks, and will start approximately 1,400 feet west of the intersection of Baston Road and extend to the intersection with Old Evans Road. From there, it will follow Old Evans Road to Columbia Industrial Boulevard, then extend west to tie into Washington Road at its intersection with Towne Center Drive. “We needed another route to kind of alleviate some of the congestion off of Washington Road, and this will do it,” Schlachter says. “It will give you an alternate route from Martinez all the way to Evans.” That’s important for local traffic because it allows drivers to avoid the intersection of Washington Road and Bobby Jones Expressway, one of the most crowded intersections in the CSRA. It also helps commuters move more efficiently between population centers. When first proposed, the extension of Riverwatch Parkway was viewed as a way to help Columbia County residents get to Augusta’s medical district, but with Columbia County’s explosive growth and with destinations like Evans Towne Center Park drawing crowds from outside the county, officials are looking at the extension as a way to bring Augustans to Columbia County. “It’s a great route to move folks from Evans to Augusta and vice versa,” Schlachter says. “It helps out the medical community by giving you a direct route, and it helps move people in to appreciate the amenities that are in Columbia County.” Schlachter says the project, which also includes a second bridge to replace an existing culvert at Reed Creek, is scheduled to be bid in October, meaning ground work should begin sometime in January. 12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Oh, So Vine

New social video app is not kid- or grandparent-friendly

Recently, Twitter released its latest creation. It’s a social video app called Vine. The best way to think about it is Instagram for video. The app allows users to create and post 6-second videos. Right now, it’s only available on the iPhone, but since I’m now a happy iPhone user, that wasn’t a problem. :-) Just like Twitter’s 140-character limit restricts the literary value of posts, you will notice the production quality of the video is likewise limited. But what Vine lacks in production quality, it makes up for in simplicity and ease of use. To create a post, hit the camera button. Touch the screen and Vine begins to record. Release the screen and Vine stops. With a little creativity and patience, changing scenes or creating stopmotion action is very straightforward. Parental warning: When Vine was first released, the porn industry decided that this would be a great platform for sharing. Since then, the security is revamped. Even so, this site is neither kid- nor grandparent-friendly. It’s not so much the porn anymore, but just the random profanity from the teenagers. If you can wade through all that, it’ll be a wonderful new social media outlet for you. Save the Jellyfish — One of the greatest challenges in operating a modern data center is cooling. Computers and other electronic devices generate a great deal of heat. Anyone who has used a substandard laptop knows that too much heat will cause a computer to fail badly. This problem is multiplied many times in the data center. Air conditioning is one of the more significant operational costs and one of the areas of innovation. In a report from geek.com, European data center company Interexion has implemented a novel method using seawater from the nearby Baltic Sea to cool its data center in Stockholm. The system is very efficient; it reportedly paid for itself within a year. There is one small problem, however. Last year, Interexion was forced by the government to shut down the cooling system due to environmental issues. The details weren’t made clear. When asked about the incident at a recent data center conference, Interexion’s Chief Engineering Officer Lex Coors provided the brief response, “I think it’s to protect the jellyfish.” In a related story, the inventor of the first water-cooled Raspberry Pi, James Couzens, recently announced that he is working on a jellyfish attachment for the Wet Pi. If the rumors are true, the upgraded mod will include an RSS link to the EPA Invertebrate Protection Alert system. :-) Legos Can Do Anything — Finally, a note from the Legos-Can-Do-Anything file. Have you ever needed an over-engineered and overly complex method for moving around a bunch of miniature basketballs? Check out this video of Philip Verbeek’s GBC-6 at http://pv-productions.com/lego-gbc-6-published. Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits. 23MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 13


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SIMPLY PUT

By David J. Kahn / Edited by Will Shortz 101 Oration locations 102 Wake-up calls 103 Charlie Chaplin persona, with “the” 106 Acquires unexpectedly 110 Except when 111 Notwithstanding that, briefly 112 Three-sided weapon 113 One with designs on women 114 Places 115 ___ lane 116 Pitching muscle, for short 117 Big show Down 1 Campaign-funding grp. 2 Garage supply 3 School address ending 4 Works the room, maybe 5 Facades 6 Arm bones 7 Dryer brand 8 ___ passage 9 A lot 10 Fashion photographer Herb 11 Suffuse 12 ___ ejemplo 13 “Life of Pi” director Lee 14 Not flustered 15 Like embargoed goods 16 Thingamajig 17 Lunchbox treats 23 Where Yemen Airways is based 24 This puzzle’s long-winded advice, simply put 25 Case worker’s title?: Abbr. 29 ___ Alto 30 Former Swedish P.M. Palme 31 Senate cover-up 32 Having no active leads 33 “From all of ___ all of you …” 34 Actor McGregor 39 Carp in a pond 40 Auction category 41 Steak ___ 42 Kefauver of old politics 43 Sue Grafton’s “___ for Lawless” 45 Start to go surfing? 46 Helps in a bad way 47 Opposite of alway

48 49 50 51 55 56 57

Intimate Automaker since 1899 Cravings Not go beyond Unnatural? Power option Biblical matriarch who lived to 127 58 Bag 60 Tooth: Prefix 61 One side in a 19th-century war, with “the” 62 Blender setting 64 Evening, in ads 65 Go ballistic 66 Turns suddenly 67 Pressure, informally 73 Reagan antimissile program, for short 74 Mucky place 75 Ring results 76 Let someone else take over 78 Impression 79 Nov. 11 honoree 80 Snorkeling site 81 “Yeah, yeah” 82 Canberra chum 83 Viewed 87 Formally name 88 Corner piece 89 Cooler in hot weather 90 “Nemesis” novelist 91 Place to play stickball 92 Rolaids rival 93 Mark of distinction 94 Elect 95 61-Down’s opponent, with “the” 96 The Snake River snakes through it 97 Didn’t turn away from 98 Fly away, in a way 99 “A horse designed by a committee” 104 Cause of a trip 105 Host follower? 107 Turn down 108 Surpass 109 Guanajuato gold

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PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Certain laureate 5 ___ Fine, “The Nanny” nanny 9 Planet, to a 1-Across 12 Get a little richer in Monopoly 18 Slave whom Amneris was jealous of 19 Hindu epic hero 20 “Zero Dark Thirty” org. 21 Kind of garage 22 Some mixers 24 One way to measure a student’s progress 26 Possible cause of turbulent weather 27 Swearing 28 As an end result 29 With 44-, 63-, 77- and 93-Across, a long-winded piece of advice 35 Lei Day hellos 36 Validates 37 “Very nice!” 38 Standard home page feature 39 Journalist Marvin or Bernard 41 Louisiana area 44 See 29-Across 52 “That’s the way things are” 53 Shoes without heels 54 Remain unresolved 56 Ninny 59 Fitting conclusion? 60 Blackmore title girl 61 Quick 63 See 29-Across 68 Flows out 69 Fleming of opera 70 Home of the U.K. 71 Cartoonist Hoff 72 Supermarket aid 73 Full of animal fat 74 Pair on ice 77 See 29-Across 84 Doesn’t stay 85 180s 86 Subject of the 2002 book “The Perfect Store” 87 Doing perfectly 90 Stout ___ 91 Fla. vacation spot 93 See 29-Across 100 Something to strike

G O S H

A C T U P H O U N R L D N D A E C S O O Y O

S T A T U T E L A P S

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14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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23MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 15


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ERICJOHNSON

New Shoreline

Riverkeeper to convince commission her plan is right

Augusta, like most cities, is a city of plans. Sometimes these plans don’t fit together as seamlessly as the community would like. That is why Commissioner Marion Williams and some other members of the Augusta Commission asked Savannah Riverkeeper Tonya Bonitatibus to come back before them with proof that her plan to take 14 acres of riverfront property and turn it into an eco-friendly recreation area and headquarters doesn’t upset anything already laid out in $400,000 master plan unveiled by Augusta Tomorrow back in 2009. “I guess what they want is that the plan that was put forth is implemented the proper way,” Bonitatibus says. “One of the things I heard repeatedly from Marion Williams was that this was a good plan, but it has to go along with the other plan, and it’s absolutely a part of that. I made sure of that when I drew the plans.” Still, something about her presentation to the Finance Committee on May 13 left some commissioners uneasy.

16 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

“I think I failed a little bit with that presentation, because I went in thinking everyone knew what was going on,” she says. “That was my fault.” Bonitatibus started this process under the last commission, when she bid $1,000 for the former Traffic and Engineering property during the city’s surplus property auction. That land once housed the old shop and had become a kind of car parts landfill. Even before she committed that money to the project, which was far lower than the highest bidder, she and an army of volunteers had been actively cleaning up the area for the last six years, removing some 200 tons of trash. Which is one of the reasons why the delay has her the slightest bit edgy. “One of the things I didn’t say was, ‘This isn’t a plan — this is actual. This has been going on for six years,’” she says. “We’ve gotten to the point now where I’m scared if we clean it up any more it’s going to be ripped out from underneath me.” She says she thinks it’s important to make a distinction between a plan and something that’s already put into motion. “I don’t know if that’s the best way to look at it, but that’s the way I look at life,” she says. “I’m not waiting 20 years to look and see what maybe we can do in the

future. No — we’re just going to start working and make this place better.” Camille Price, executive director of Augusta Tomorrow, has always maintained that the master plan is an organic document that is a suggestion of potential rather than a blueprint of fact. Not everything in the original master plan is exactly as it appeared on the first map. Though she applauds the commission’s desire to protect the area, she says she’s not used to having people — commissioners included — put all that much thought into what, for many, is an overlooked and forgotten area of Augusta. And while some may worry that her revitalization ideas might limit river access to the area’s minority population, Bonitatibus says that couldn’t be further from the truth. “These guys are fishing amongst the trash right now, and we’re trying to make it to where they can still use the river, but in a clean and safe way,” she says. Bonitatibus is scheduled to be back before the Finance Committee on May 27. If the committee likes what it hears, her plan will be forwarded to the full commission on June 4.

23MAY2013


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AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 17


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18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

23MAY2013


Up

LINE AY FRIDes Open

at us 5:00p – G ndle Circ a H n e v e 5:15p – S ey Gentry k is h W e 6:30p – Th ham County Line rops hat 8:00p – C lina Chocolate D aro 9:30p – C

AY

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es Open

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ge Main SThteaRamblin’ Fevers Show

O

12:45p – ittle Roy & Lizzy e eL 1:50p – Th rothers Comatos B e 3:15p – Th Awards Q 4:45p – BB teelDrivers eS 6:00p – Th Douglas Band rry 7:40p – Je pled by Turtles am 9:35p – Tr

nce again, the Papa Joe’s Banjo-B-Que and Bluegrass Festival is going to be a hoot — a hootenanny, that is. Simply put, it’s going to have enough food, beer, music and fun to make your Memorial Day weekend one for the ages. Now in its fourth year, the Banjo-B-Que was created to honor the memory of the late Joe Pond, whose love of barbecue and g ling Strin vers ib S – p 5 bluegrass music was the stuff of legend. Fe 4:1 Ramblin’ Lizzy Show e h T – p 0 When his daughter, Cathy Varnadore, & 5:3 Little Roy matose e h T – p started designing the festival, she 0 Co 7:0 rothers B e h T – p had big ambitions — corralling the 8:55 best bluegrass performers with the best competitive barbecuers, adding other good stuff like beer and lots of down-home fun, and making it the area’s signature Memorial Day festival. She succeeded and then some. What follows is a brief rundown of what to expect, but here’s something that might surprise you in this era of rising prices — ticket prices are actually down from last year. Friday admission is $15, Saturday is $20 and a weekend pass is $30. Considering the caliber of the bands, the quality of the food and the convenience of the location, that’s a steal even without the fireworks. But since there are fireworks, dog owners, hang on to your leashes — once the rockets start firing, your best friend just might want to make a run for it. As always, all proceeds from the event benefit the Joseph R. Pond Memorial Foundation.

age

t Saloon S


When Duluth

, Minnesota,

based Tramp led by Turtle s takes the stag Saturday, May e 25, at 9:35 p.m Even today, B ., they’ll do so as one of th erry isn’t sure e most well k how excited h fu ture bandmat nown acts ev is booked for P e was for the co er apa Joe’s Ban llaboration in Where Art T that first outin jo-B-Que and Bluegrass Fes hou” soundtr g. tival. ack, which had co m “Y e o o u u k t n th ow, I kind of ree years prio Formed in 20 fe r, el 03, Trampled had shined a li ke when it spotlight on A happened he by Turtles ca together quite m w er as ic ju an st a m b m e ei usic in general ng polite… ‘W by accident w bluegrass in p you can com ell, hen two of its and founding mem e on up and articular. p bers — Dave la y o n “A e, K ’” is n m d h et, Berry said e said. after the first Simonett and Berry — decid , has had a lo one he was li Erik ed they need T k t to do with d ra e, o n m ‘W ’t p yo le ed h d by Turtles’ y u a st break from electric instru ay up here an p o p ments and ro u d la p ri la ty. But it wasn y another one? just good fort It happened p ck bands. ’t une. ’ “Well, Dave retty naturally. had stopped A fe la “A w te d r lo ay h t e p s o la ca f yi lu ll ng with his ed and asked band and had ck, a lot of righ if I’d want to just sort of bee t place, right things just hap a whole set w p la time, n doing the so y guitarist thing, p it h en h in im g w an h lo d en ” explained B we just woun it would be gr fo b r ec th o em m d in er u to eat g ry p th . h opening up fo “He was appen,” he sa is duo.” r my band, o id when asked w h N at o h w e n five members e of my band would attribu last shows bef ’s te his band’s strong with th ore we stopped to o . f success e “A T ad im n d d S it also, Dave wri ax p io la n h basically invite ying, and I s aug, Dave Car te s re d myself to b ro al ll ly and Ryan There’s not a great songs. Young, Berry ring my mand down and pla doubt in my said the grou olin y with him on m p in n d ev w th fo er ri at if he’d rm tt set out to en the batch a bluegrass b a song. I was kind of a hob of songs he w and. Things, byist mandoli ro however, just for another b te for us kind of came n player and was looking fo and, that ban naturally. The d r an opportun w gr o u o ld u so ea p m be doing sy h ething right n ad an musical chem ity to play wit somebody, so ow. But he w istry and the h I kind of grab ro “Oh Brother, us, so we’re th te them for bed one when saw it.” e band that ge I ts to do it.”

JOYS OF @,:;,9@,(9 CONTINUE


ate Drops

a Chocol The Carolin

rops ocolate D h C a n li the Caro y night. The winners y m e Frida m a sound a r G njo-B-Qu ased band has a B e th the headline orth Carolina, b usic from usic, m k c la N b , dm Durham passes Southern , jug-ban ic s u m m d that enco ’30s — string-ban d zz. 1920s an m, and early ja been u r and has d 5 0 d 0 n 2 a in fe fi e band is ens, d d forme s ever since. Th Gidd The ban e hiannon dienc R u s a r e g b in m t artist, entertain mprised of me d a gues n a s s o c in y k Jen member currentl , Hubby er band s n th ut o o b , m e h ly le arate llo. T p e e Dom F c s n t s o li a jo, ts to cCall tring ban strumen -s Leyla M in 4 y y n la a p y too m them the play far three of e th n e the music betwe much of e those . o le S d . d it fi n d r genre o dolin an ally befo ills, man t’s hard to pin a came re u t q a , th s e ff n I o tu “ drum, b lay the s nding ns said. o, snare ,” Gidde ountry, but we p been spe ens. o s z e e a r ’v k n y e , e g a th ic y d ‘n’ roll, c season,” ccording to Gid f so man , harmon “festival a uitar, jug the foundation o blues, jazz, rock , g is ns n , e e it r d jo e d n id s il a r,” G all ch becau u m d to s n 5-string b ic we play is at on to becoming u a h o l it y a w I’ve got el ppe less s a wide a y when you trav ally can’t do un ith my family, so “The mu ended up going d fast.” e v a h s p e ll play late Dro hard an , especia sic, which you r e, and I travel w that we formed a Choco ups and downs u n e r tim m li e o fe of r y r w u a m o s C y and as its touring li laying h d p e t o categorie at you will, the d a th fo n h g a r T u in . le o h ring envision ew peop h control over y Call it w on the road tou d when eeting n te c m n u , a e and r m e e s g r y m r r u ti e of co ll the tim ing v take fo a v e r a lot of s a e a . k h w y c t ts t a il o r a n a n m s th st p re of a fa parts are xpecting al things “The be g else.” taking ca lt because he’s e he worst y practic n T to a “ s . r anythin d time, Giddens m e d fo e e m b o in th u c t c la jo fi u it p .” e if o x d n e th oo e ab sd oa on the r said. “It’ e wouldn’t trade ’s sure to be a g t face wh n’t think it r two kids ple probably do enges they migh r-old,” Giddens ys su nd o I’m alwa me but I tour schedule a t. chall o 4-yea h lo e a t a th a h Most pe it y ia o ll w g d y to Geor uth. s, especia a big issue now the road like we olate Drops’ bus in the so “We like coming to it.” musician c is n k o g o c h a in C ls b a th a g e n d ns said. to playin forward e Caroli ooked m “The foo looking ,” Gidde k home-c nother stop on th ys looks forward e o ’m m o I ti c o d ’t s o n , is a alwa south we ca e a go jo-B-Que and hav en I play in the lina, she The Ban om North Caro thing we’ve got h w s g fr appines very special h said. Bein oking to bring e a e v a h I “We’re lo y wherever, but pla happy to

BAR-B-QUE

For the approximately 60 competitive barbecuers fighting for $40,000 in total prize money, the Kansas City Barbecue Society (KCBS)-sanctioned BanjoB-Que might be a battleground. But for those who love barbecue, it’s a little piece of heaven within the confines of Evans Towne Center Park. Since its inception four years ago, the Banjo-B-Que has been a top tier KCBS event, drawing the best

CHATHAM COUNTY LINE

competitive barbecuers in the world. And according to A.B. Beverage Vice President Doug Varnadore, the competition is only getting more intense. “Last year [the first at Evans Towne Center Park] we cut it off at 45 or 50 just to make sure we had room,” he says. “But we found out we had plenty of room, so we’re going to be at 55 or 60 this year.” One thing that makes the Banjo-B-Que competition different from most competitive barbecue events — there is no backyard division, meaning the entire field is competing in the professional division. Winners of each of the four events — butts, beef

JERRY DOUGLAS

THE LITTLE ROY & LIZZY SHOW

brisket, chicken and ribs — win $2,500, while the grand prize winner walks home with a check for $5,000. “The grand prize winner is going to have a big payday, because to qualify for the grand prize, you’ve got to be in the top three of the classes,” Varnadore says. “So he’s probably going to pick up somewhere in the neighborhood of $8,000-$10,000.” All of this is important for bragging rights and the pocketbooks of the competitors, but what’s in it for the public? In short — awesome barbecue. “One of the main reasons we do a KCBSsanctioned event is because the people coming can eat barbecue,” he says. “Who wants to come smell barbecue all day and not be able to eat it?” In addition to the regular food vendors, Varnadore

THE RAMBLIN’ FEVERS


The Brothers

Comatose

San Franc is Comatose co based band The will take th B e stage for rothers year in a ro the second w at Papa Joe’s Banjo Bluegrass Festival. T -B-Que an he band is d of four me comprised mbers, bro thers Alex vocals) an (banjo and d Ben Mo rris Philip Bre zina (fiddle on (guitar and voca ls), ) and Rya (mandolin n Avellon ). e While the band calls itself The “We tell p Brothers C eople we omatose, are a rowd Morrison, the music y string ba guitarist a they play nd vocalist nd, rowdy the bluegra is far from roo fo r ssy side o coma indu f things. W the band. “Because ts music — howeve more riled cing. r you wan e sometime put energ up. We st t to descri s it’s on th y into our rive for th So how d be it,” exp e e sh fo rowdy sid lkier side ows that k oes lained Ben e of thing of things, ind of, ho “Alex who such a dynamic, ra s. sometime p ” e fu u ll c p y o la , u g y s s it’s more e s the banjo sound get ts the crow head, and on a name lik is my bro d riled up he almost th e , which gets er,” “The Broth looks like my head.” us ers Coma he’s in a m Morrison said. “W tose?” hen he pla usical com This year, y s a b o a f sorts. So they’re rea , early one njo, his eyes kind o stick arou f roll into morning I nd for the lly looking forward the b woke up a to being a barbecue night, and n b c d it just kin ack of his le o mpetition to enjoy m had to lea d of popp a v n o e d re ri b They are of what th eing able ed into also lookin ght after to get to a to try som e Banjo-B n -Q g e o th fo o u Not only f e e rw r th h g a a e ig rd s w . to ares, Morr to playing was last y offer, espe ison said. again and ear cially gettin playing in Last year getting to g to the southe the first time The B they playe see some ast. Since rothers Co said. d on Frida of the oth then, they m a to se e y r played for great band ’ve been b “Last year an August s schedule ack a cou was kind a p d audience, le of times to play. of our test wondering bu and it is b for the sou how a stri ecoming m t it was also the ba th n g ,” ba “Everybod nd’s first ti Morrison ore of a re said. “We me y was so n nd from San Franc gular occu had never isco — if w ice. It was We’re sto rr ence, Morr ked to be e p su la w c y ison o h e u d a revelatio ld be acce that far ea coming ba n for us. It pted into st or in th ck this yea th e w e as so grea south befo communit r.” t to come re and we to pretty m y and it was aweso were me.” uch the he artland an d be welc omed in.

says seven or eight of the competitive cookers will be vending, giving the visitors the chance to sample food from the best of the best. In addition, teams may also compete in Friday night’s “Best Dang Steak” competition, where the food goes to feed sponsors and VIPs. “They’ll pick up a cooler of 10 steaks,” Varnadore says. “They’ll cook them, turn in one for competition, keep four and turn in five for us. It’s a $1,000 cook off for bragging rights, and that way we get to feed our sponsors and have a little fun doing it.” And Varnadore says the competitors are hardly

THE STEEL DRIVERS

strangers to bragging. “Do you brag on your kid any?” he asks. “Well, their food is like their kid — they want to talk all about it. They want to show their awards off and tell you what they won.” And that pride can be seen in their attention to detail and their over-the-top commitment to cooking with the best ingredients possible. “They specialize in wood they order from different places,” Varnadore says. “And one guy said last

SEVEN HANDLE CIRCUS

week that he had to swing by Alabama to pick up his brisket.” Swinging by Alabama for a brisket? Now that’s commitment.

SIBLING STRING

THE WHISKEY GENTRY


V24|NO21

Savannah River Winds, presented by the Henry Jacobs Chamber Music Society, will perform Thursday, May 23, at 7:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Led by conductor Richard D. Brasco, the group is compromised of band directors, university professors, musicians from both professional and vocational fields, and college students from the Central Savannah River Area. $20. Call 706-922-0171 or visit krocaugusta.org.

ENTERTAIN

Arts

Art at Lunch: Discovering Dave: Spirit Captured in Clay will be presented Friday, May 24, at noon at the Morris Museum of Art. Participants will preview clips dealing in the life of Dave Drake, the Edgefield slave potter, and learn how the documentary was developed with producer Mark Albertin. Members are $10; non-members, $15. Lunch is provided by Manuel’s Bread Café. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Saturday Special: Printing Party with Matt and Michelle will be presented Saturday, May 25, at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Participants will create a series and share them with the group, allowing every individual to take home a full portfolio of prints. All supplies included. Members are $15; $20 for non-members. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Capturing the Canal, a black and white photo competition, is now accepting entries. The Kroc Center is hosting a black and white photo competition open to all local photographers. Entries will be accepted until May 31. Call 706-922-0171 or visit krocaugusta.org. A Sense of Place national juried fine arts competition is seeking entries through May 31. Eligible media are as follows: painting, drawing, mixed media, printmaking, photography, ceramics and sculpture. Call 706-7225495 or visit ghia.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center of North Augusta and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. Corks & Canvas painting classes for adults 21 and over are held every Tuesday and Thursday night beginning at 7 p.m. and lasting 2-3 hours. Painting materials provided. Bring your own wine and clothes to paint in. $30; $25 with military I.D. Pre-registration required. Call 706-868-0990 or visit pstudio.com.

Exhibitions

Marianna Williams Exhibit will be at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through June 28. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. The Godfather of Soul James Brown exhibit is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. 23MAY2013

“Romantic Spirits” exhibit, featuring paintings of the South from the Johnson collection, will be on display through May 26 at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-828-3825 or visit themorris.org. Georgia Regents University Senior Exit Exhibition will be held at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through May 29. Features the work of BFA candidates Nina Daniels and Sarah Brown. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. “Blast From the Past” is on display at Augusta Museum of History to celebrate the museum’s 75th anniversary. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. “Local Legends” is a permanent exhibit highlighting Augusta notables on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. “Protect and Serve,” an exhibit highlighting the stories of CSRA law enforcement officers, is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. “Delightful Decanters” is a temporary exhibit on display at the Augusta Museum of History featuring colorful bottles used to sell products as late as the 1970s. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Music

Gwen Hughes will play for the Moonlight Music Canal Cruise, 7-8:30 p.m., Friday, May 24. $25 per person; passengers may bring aboard snacks and beverages. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4, or visit augustacanal.com. Savannah River Winds, presented by the Henry Jacobs Chamber Music Society, will perform Thursday, May 23, at 7:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-922-0171 or visit krocaugusta.org. Hymns for the Fallen, a Memorial Day concert, will be presented Saturday, May 25, at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center. Free. Visit sacredheartaugusta.com. Candlelight Jazz, featuring Garden City Jazz 3, will take place Sunday, May 26, at 8 p.m. at the River Stage in downtown Augusta, 8th St. at Riverwalk. $6, free for kids under 13. Visit gardencityjazz.com. Evenings in the Appleby Garden: Hotlanta Dixieland Band will perform Tuesday, May 28, at 8 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library, 2260 Walton

ME

Way. Free. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Thursday Night Jazz at the Willcox takes place every Thursday at the Willcox in Aiken. Visit thewillcox.com.

The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-364- 4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Literary

“Pride and Prejudice” Book Discussion with Ilona Law will take place Thursday, May 30, from 7-8 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Free. Visit abbe-lib.org. Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Dance

Augusta Christian Singles holds dances every Saturday night, beginning at 8 p.m., with free dance lessons at 7 p.m. Dances are held at Ballroom Dance Center, 525 Grand Slam Drive (off Evans to Locks Road) in Evans. $5 admission for ladies; men are $10. Admission includes light meal or heavy refreshments, desserts, soft drinks and coffee in an alcohol/ smoke free environment, and music includes country, shag, oldies and more. Dress is casual (jeans are fine). All singles 18 years old and up are welcome. Visit christiandances.org. Belly Dance Class is held every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek and Wallace libraries. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 (Euchee Creek), 706-722- 6275 (Wallace), or visit ecgrl.org. Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477. Zumba with Sohailla is held every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com. Saturday Night Dance with live music is each Saturday night at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 from 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. $5. Call 706-495-3219. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Theater

“Fox on the Fairway” will be performed by Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre Thursday through Saturday, May 23-25. $30-$45. Call 706-791-4389 or visit fortgordon.com/theatre. Boxed In, a collection of poems, prose, dialogue, chants, songs and spoken word paired with music will be presented Friday, May 24, at 8 p.m. and Saturday, May 25, at 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. at the Judith Simon Drama Studio, 2548 Deans Bridge Rd. $10, adults; $8, students and children 2-18. Call 706-722-0598 or visit augustaminitheater.com. Auditions for “A Cruise Ship Crime,” the Aiken Downtown Development Association’s 8th annual Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre, will be held Tuesday-Wednesday, May 28-29, at 7 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts. Those wishing to audition should be prepared to read from the show’s script and improv skills are preferred. The play will be performed August 16-17. Call 803-649-2221 or email adda_asst@atlantic.net.

a.m., with a preview May 29-31 from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. at 1384 Greene St. Call 706-826-7933, ext. 3178 or visit salvationarmycars.com. Wine Tasting will be held at Wine World in North Augusta, 5-8 p.m., the first Friday and third Thursday of every month. Call 803-279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com. Evans Towne Farmers Market is held on the grounds of the Columbia County Public Library each Thursday through June from 4:30-7 p.m. All meats, eggs, dairy and produce will be from local and sustainable farms. There will also be cooking demos and education, local artisans with handcrafted goods, live music, local food vendors and weekly events. Visit evanstownefarmersmarket.com. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:30-6:30

“Dreamgirls” will be performed Tuesday, May 28, at 7:30 p.m. at the Bell Auditorium. $40-$50. Call 706-262-4573 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com.

Flix

Health

Celebration of Life Blood Drive is Thursday, May 23, from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. at the Shepeard Blood Center’s bloodmobile, which will be parked at Firehouse Subs in North Augusta. The first 20 donors will get a coupon for a free medium Firehouse sub, first-time donors will get a Shepeard travel mug and WAFJ 88.3 will enter each donor in a drawing for a gift basket. Visit shepeardblood.org or wafj.com. Safe Sitter will meet Saturday, May 25, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Doctors Hospital, Medical Office Building 1, suite 310. This is a nationally recognized program that teaches students ages 11 -13 safe and nurturing childcare techniques, management and appropriate responses to medical emergencies. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Total Joint Replacement Educational Talk will be held Tuesday, May 28, from 1:30-3:30 p.m. at Doctors Hospital, South Tower, Classroom 1. This talk prepares patients for joint replacement before, during and after their hospital stay. Bring any questions and concerns you would like addressed. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

“Shaq” will be shown Thursday, May 23, at 7 p.m. at the North Augusta Branch Library. Free. Visit abbe-lib.org. “Beautiful Creatures” will be shown Friday, May 24, at 4 p.m. at the North Augusta Branch Library. Free. Visit abbe-lib.org.

Mobile Mammography Screenings will be on the following dates and at the following locations, from 8 a.m.-3 p.m.: May 23, Jenkins County Hospital; May 24, Internal Medicine Partners; May 28, University Hospital; May 29, Willis Memorial Hospital; and May 30, SRS Area A. Free through Medicare. Appointment required. Call 706-774-4149 or visit universityhealth.org.

“The Waitress” will be shown Thursday, May 30, at 7 p.m. at the North Augusta Branch library. Free. Visit abbe-lib. org.

Special Events

Community Block Party is Friday, May 24, from 3-7 p.m. at the corner of Turpin Street and Martin Luther King Boulevard. Sponsoredy by Augusta Recreation, Parks and Facilities, JR’s Stop and Shop, Perry Broadcasting and Augusta Coca-Cola, the event includes free food and drinks, as well as prize giveaways for children ages 5-14. Call 706821-1754 or visit augustaga.gov.

Powerful Tools for Caregivers class will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 2-3:30 p.m., on Thursday, May 23. Provides tools for caregivers to assist and support an elderly or chronically ill loved one. Call 706-651-2490 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Papa Joe’s Banjo-B-Que and Bluegrass Festival will take place Friday and Saturday, May 24 and 25, at Evans Towne Center Park. Gates open at 5 p.m. on Friday and noon on Saturday. Admission is $30 for a weekend pass, or $15 for Friday only and $20 for Saturday only. The event features barbecue, craft beers, a petting zoo, pig races and live bluegrass music from 14 acts. Visit banjobque.com

“Guantanamo, Drones and Endless War... What is it Good For?” will be presented Tuesday, May 29, at 6:30 p.m. at the Aiken Unitarian Universalist Church at 11 Gregg Ave. Free. Call 803-213-3263.

Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from 1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit csrahappytails. com.

Asthma Screenings will take place Saturday, May 25, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Kohl’s, 4227 Washington Rd. Free. Call 706-721-3225 or visit kohls.com/cares.

“Beautiful Creatures” will be shown Thursday, May 23, at 6:45 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Free. Visit abbe-lib. org.

Memorial Day Ceremony will be presented by the Georgia War Veterans Nursing Home on Monday, May 27, at 9 a.m. in the facility’s courtyard, located at 1101 15th St. Call 706-721-2531.

theaugustamarket.com.

Keep My Skin Healthy: Facts & Myths About Skin Cancer will be presented by University Hospital at the Snelling Center on Thursday, May 23, from 6-7:30 p.m. Call 706828-2502 or visit skincancer.eventbrite.com.

p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11. com. Saturday Market at the River is each Saturday through November 23 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead downtown and features vendors, food, drinks, entertainment and a group run that begins at 8 a.m. Visit

Yoga Class is offered by the Kroc Center every Saturday at The Augusta Market downtown, 10-11 a.m. Free. Bring your own mat. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Yoga I offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken 8:45-9:45 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays; Yoga II is offered 8:45-9:45 a.m., Fridays; Evening Yoga is offered 5:30-6:30 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays. $41 for 10 tickets. Call 803-642- 7631.

Auto Auction will be held by the Salvation Army on Saturday, June 1, at 10

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Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706 394-0590, email sbeasley@augustameditation.com or visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html.

AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com.

Tuesday of each month from 7-8:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital in Room 120 of the Summerville Professional Building adjacent to the Hospital. Visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-774- 3278 or visit universityhealth.org.

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth. org.

The Chatterbox Club of Augusta, a support group for individuals and their families who have experienced a laryngectomy, meets the second Sunday of each month (except June and July) at 3 p.m. at Trinity Hospital in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room. Call 706-481-7359 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; nonmembers, $5. Pre-registration required. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is held every Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Free. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation program covers topics such as coronary artery disease, heart attack and CHF at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute. Program is held each Wednesday at 8:15 and 9:15 a.m., and 1:45 p.m. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $11; non-members $22. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy. org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; nonmembers, $20. Call 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Support

CSRA Parkinson Support Group will be held Tuesday, May 28, at 6 p.m. at St. John Towers, 724 Greene St. Free. Call 706-364-1662. Overeaters Anonymous meets at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church, 7:30 p.m., Tuesdays and at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. Call 907-854-1509.

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Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331. Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636. Alcoholics Anonymous open discussion meeting takes place every Sunday and Wednesday, 7:15 p.m. at Aurora Pavilion in Aiken. Call 806-641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com/hospital-services/behavioral-health-services. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-6516660 or visit doctors- hospital.net. Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. Free. Pre-registration requested. Call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org. Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. Call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org. Families Who Have Lost a Baby Support Group is offered by GRU. Call 706721- 8299 or visit gru.edu. Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop gambling. Call 800-313-0170. Living With Diabetes, a program designed to teach skills needed to manage diabetes, is offered at Trinity Hospital. Physician referral required. Call 706-481-7535 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Celiac Disease Support Group. Open to anyone who has celiac disease, is gluten intolerant or on a gluten free diet. Group meets on the third

Lupus Support Group meets at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-394-6484 or 706-821-2600, or visit ecgrl.org. Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org. Natural Family Planning support group meets locally. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Overeaters Support Group meets locally. Call 706-785-0006 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Parents of Hearing-Impaired Children meets locally. Call 706-481-7396 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Reach for Recovery is presented locally by the American Cancer Society. Call 706-731-9900 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706855- 2419. Bereavement Grief Support for Adults meets the first Wednesday of each month from noon-1 p.m. At Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ cafeteria dining room A. Registration is required. Call 803-641-5389. Alzheimer’s Support Group meets the second Tuesday of each month from 11 a.m.-noon at the Cumberland Village Library in Aiken. Visit aikenregional.com.

Education

Setting Up an E-Mail Account will be presented Thursday, May 23, from 11 a.m.-noon at the Appleby Library Branch, 2260 Walton Way. Call 706-7366244 or visit ecgrl.org.

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Intermediate Word Processing, a three-session class, meets Thursdays until May 23 from 10 a.m.-noon at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Advanced Sign Language Classes will be held at University Hospital, 7-8:30 p.m., Thursdays, through May 30. $40 per person, per class; $40 for textbook. Call 706-774-8559 or visit universityhealth.org.

in advance. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustaga.org. Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.

Sports-Outdoors

Augusta GreenJackets home games are as follows: Monday, May 27-Wednesday, May 29, at 7:05 p.m. vs. the Hickory Crawdads; Friday, May 30 at 7:05 p.m. vs.

downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview

Fort Gordon’s U.S. Army Signal Corps Band will play at a Memorial Day Ceremony to be held at the Georgia War Veterans Nursing Home on Monday, May 27, at 9 a.m. in the facility’s courtyard, located at 1101 15th St. Call 706-7212531.

Finding the Way Forward Workshop, a free program for college and career planning for girls in 8th-12th grades, is accepting applications through May 31. The Jessye Norman School of the Arts is presenting the workshop, which will include visits to three local colleges. Workshop dates are June 5-7. Visit jessyenormanschool.org to apply, or come by the school at 739 Green St. to pick up an application.

the Charleston Riverdogs at GreenJackets Stadium. $1-$15. Call 706-9229467 or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com.

Triple 8 Group Run meets at 8th and Reynolds, 8 a.m., every Saturday through Oct. 26. Choose your distance: 3, 6 or 8 miles. Open to everyone. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Adult swim lessons are offered at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for ages 13 and up. Days and times vary by branch. Members $55 per month; non-members $85 per month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com.

Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Olympic-style Tae Kwon Do, taught by Master Michael L. Weintraub, is each Tuesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.com.

Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by GRU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu. GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 6- 7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to the public. Visit fortgordon.toastmastersclubs.org. Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office@cciaugusta.org or visit cciaugusta.org. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta aboard the Lady Libby boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends, including the legend of the famous Haunted Pillar. $12, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours 30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Tae Kwon Do is offered at the Wilson Family Y, Family Y of Augusta South and Family Y of North Augusta. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit augustakickball.com. Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org. Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706- 556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. The Augusta Furies Women’s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email augusta.furies@gmail.com or visit augustafuries.org. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in

Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, firstserved basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session. Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722- 8878. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $50 a month. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Civil War 150th Canal Tour, “Food, Fabric and Firepower,” is offered by the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center at 1:30 p.m. daily through 2013. Call 706-823- 0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Kids-Teens

Dork Day is Thursday, May 23, at 4 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Fans of the Dork Diaries and Diary of a Wimpy kid can participate in fun activity and win prizes. Free. Call 803-642-7585 or visit abbe-lib.org. Game On! is Friday, May 24, from 4-5:30 p.m. at the Aiken Branch Library. Kick off the holiday weekend with Wii games, retro board games and pizza. Call 803-642-7585 or visit abbe-lib.org.

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Sean Poppy and Creatures of the CSRA will be presented Wednesday, May 29, from 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the Appleby Library Branch at 2260 Walton Way. Poppy will talk about some of the creatures that will be guests at the library. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. All About Frogs will be held Thursday, May 30 from 8-9 p.m. at Reed Creek Park. Learn about local frogs and how they are studying them at Reed Creek Park. Participants will go outdoors to listen for frogs using the “Frog Watch U.S.A” survey protocol. For ages 5 and up; children must be accompanied by an adult. Members free; non-members $2 per child. Preregistration is required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. Watson-Brown Foundation Junior Board needs members. Looking for high-school students to spend one evening a month learning about historic preservation, grants and philanthropy. Call 706595-7777, email mzupan@hickory-hill.org or visit hickory-hill.org. DuPont Planetarium shows for Saturdays in May are “In My Backyard” at 8 p.m. and “More Than Meets the Eye” at 9 p.m. Weather permitting, the observatory, housing the Bechtel Telescope, will be available for viewing after each show. General admission $4.50; seniors $3.50; 4K-12 $2.50; valid college or military I.D. gets you a 50-percent discount; USCA faculty, staff and students $1. Kids under 4 not permitted in public viewings. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-6413654. Drop and Shop is offered at the North Augusta Family Y, 9 a.m.-noon, Monday through Friday. Bring kids 8 weeks to 12 years old while you have a morning to shop. Free. Visit thefamilyy.org. Georgia Connections Academy, a free virtual public charter school has spots for 1,000 K-12 students in Georgia. Call 800-382-6010 or visit connectionsacademy.com/georgia-school/enrollment/ home.aspx. Georgia Regents Health System is taking applications for the summer Volunteen Program. High school students between 15 and 18 years of age are eligible to apply for this six-week program that provides an educational, hands-on volunteer experience in the academic health center environment. Call 706-721-3596 or visit grhealth. org/volunteer. Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Creative Arts offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; nonmembers, $55 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Mother’s Morning Out is offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 2-4 years, 9 a.m.-noon, either Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday. 23MAY2013

Mothers enjoy a relaxing morning twice a week while kids learn. Members, $70 a month; non-members, $90 a month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Drop and Shop is offered Monday-Friday at The Family Y of Augusta South for kids age 8 weeks-4 years, 8:30 a.m.-noon. Members, $5 a child per day; nonmembers, $7 a child per day. Also offered at North Augusta branch, 9 a.m.-noon. Members, $9 a day; non-members, $15 a day. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.

Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-733-9491.

Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05- 10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736- 6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Volunteer

Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday- Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov. Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit krocaugusta.org. Mother’s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for non- members. Register at any Family Y or visit thefamilyy.org. Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706- 556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and

DECLASSIFIED

Pond exploration will be held Saturday, May 25, from 10-11 a.m. at Reed Creek Park. With dip nets in hand, children will explore and learn about what animals live in the pond. Be prepared to get a little wet and muddy. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Members free; non-members $2 per child. Pre-registration is required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark. com.

Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org. Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803613-0484. Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5- 8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854- 0149 or visit augustasoccer.com.

Brownie Troop, email bdmrev@yahoo.com.

Hospice volunteers needed at Alliance Hospice to provide comfort, companionship and emotional support to patients and families, as well as assisting with chores and clerical duties and using other talents to benefit patients. Training provided. Call 706-4472461, email mwhite@alliancehospice.com or visit alliancehospice.com. Aiken Regional Medical Centers is looking for volunteers. Call 803-641-5021 or visit aikenregional.com. The Georgia Regents University Cancer Center is looking for volunteers, especially those who are cancer survivors or caregivers. Adult program for those 18 and older; after-school program open to high-school juniors and seniors who are 17. Applications available at the Children’s Hospital of Georgia. Visit gru.edu/ volunteer or call 706-721-3596. The Greater Augusta Arts Council offers volunteer opportunities for those interested in volunteering for events like Arts in the Heart, First Friday and special concerts, as well as helping in the GAAC office. Call 706-826-4702 or visit augustaarts.com. Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@ msa-corp.com.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; non-members, $35 a month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email geoffstew@gmail.com. For Girl Scouts, email sbehrend@bellsouth.net. For Daisy/

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15 in 5

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cooking and playing tennis.

32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

23MAY2013


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On the Road

VALERIEEMERICK

Augusta cast to perform “Misconception” in D.C. theater festival

Mark Swanson’s musical, “Misconception: The Lost Gospel of Christmas,” has played to a full house here in Augusta every time it’s had a run at run at Le Chat Noir, selling out almost every single show. Now, it has been accepted into the Capital Fringe Festival in Washington, D.C., to be seen by audiences there five times from July 13 through July 21. Not only will Swanson be taking his wildly popular musical to D.C., but he will be taking an all-Augusta cast and crew with him. This Friday, May 24, there will be a fundraising gala held at Le Chat Noir to help offset some of the travel costs. “Behind the New York City Fringe Festival, the one in D.C. is one of the most prestigious,” Swanson explained. “It’s also a competition and we’re really hoping to sell out. When people see that a show is selling out, that’s the one everyone tries to go to.” In addition to just wanting to draw a big audience and do well in the competition, Swanson and the cast hope to show the world, or at least the folks at the Fringe Festival, all the talent that the Augusta arts community has to offer. “We have a really fantastic cast,” Swanson said. “I think people are going to be amazed by the level of talent we have in Augusta.”

For those not familiar with “Misconception,” it is an original musical based on a clever and modern take on the story of the Immaculate Conception. “I wrote it in about three months,” Swanson said. “The first thing I thought of was I’ve got a 14-year-old daughter. If my 14-year-old daughter came to me, came home from school and said, ‘Daddy, I’m pregnant and God’s the father…’ well, you know what would happen. So, I kind of took a very realistic view — a more modern view of how Mary would be treated in that situation.” While the concept itself is very irreverent, Swanson is quick to point out that he was raised a preacher’s son, so it is irreverent but not sacrilegious. “It challenges notions about what people think about the story of the Immaculate Conception,” said Sean Prouty, who portrays Joseph in the play, “but it is not a criticism of Christianity. And I think that if we can win over audiences in Augusta, right here in the Bible Belt, I think it will appeal to other audiences as well.” The gala will feature selections from “Misconception,” as well as a sneak preview of pieces from Swanson’s new musical, “A Predicament,” which is based on a couple of Edgar Allen Poe stories and will be performed next year at Le Chat Noir, Swanson said. There will also be performances from “Les Miserables,” a silent auction and light hors d’oeuvres. “Misconception” Gala Le Chat Noir | Friday, May 24 | 8 p.m. $50 for individuals; $85 per couple 706-722-3322 | lcnaugusta.com 23MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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23MAY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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FEATURED

May 23 23Thursday, Live Music

Malibu Jack’s - Ke-Ju Maude Edenfield Park, North Augusta - R2D1 Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - AcostA Sky City - Derelict String Band, Grizzly Harris Somewhere In Augusta - John Kolbeck Tavern at the Bean - Irish Music The Willcox - 4 Cats in the Doghouse Wild Wing – Storm Branch Band

Statesboro-based The Orange Constant, a fusion/funk/jam/rock band, plays Joe’s Underground Saturday, May 25, at 10 p.m. For more information, visit joesundergroundga.com.

What’s Tonight?

Bar on Broad - Liddle Ugleez Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia Night The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - DJ Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Shannon’s - Karaoke Surreal at Surrey - College and F&B Night Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

May 24 24Friday, Live Music

100 Laurens – Jim Fisher Augusta Canal Moonlight Music Cruise – Gwen Hughes Bird Dog Grille - The Mason Jars Carolina Ale House - Jim Perkins Chevy’s Nite Club - Palmetto Groove Band Country Club - Anthony Orio Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz Evans Towne Center Park - Papa Joe’s Banjo-BQue w/ Carolina Chocolate Drops, Chatham County Line, The Whiskey Gentry, Seven Handle Circus Hoze’s Bar - John Berret’s LaRoxes Joe’s Underground - TX Clergy MAD Studios - Lauren Lucas Malibu Jack’s - David Heath Perfect Picture Rose Hill Estates - Chris Morgan Sky City - Jimbo Mathus & The Tri-State Coalition Somewhere In Augusta - Storm Branch Band Surrey Tavern - Soul Demension Tavern at the Bean - Artist Showcase w/ F.O.C.U.S Wild Wing – Pinetop Lightning

What’s Tonight?

Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Friday Night House Party Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party First Round - DJ Lew, Mix Masterson Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke 36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rana Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - (R)evolution Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

May 25 25Saturday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Jim Fisher The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Bird Dog Grille - Nick Brown Country Club – Larry Frick Coyotes - JJ Lawhorn Evans Towne Center Park - Papa Joe’s Banjo-BQue w/ Trampled by Turtles, Jerry Douglas Band, the SteelDrivers, The Brothers Comatose, The Little Roy & Lizzy Show, The Ramblin’ Fevers, Sibling String Joe’s Underground - Orange Constant MAD Studios - Shannon Selig, Allison Foster Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - The Hollerers Sky City - Orange Twin Family Band, Darnell Boys, The Shoal Creek Stranglers Surrey Tavern - Soul Demension Wild Wing – Irritating Julie

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Saturday Night Dance Party and Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Karaoke The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Soul Bar - DJ Lowterio Tavern at the Bean - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

May 26 26Sunday, Live Music

Candlelight Jazz - Garden City Jazz 3 5 O’Clock Bistro - The Henry’s Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio Wild Wing - Kolbeck The Willcox - Jon Vaughn, brunch; Preston & Weston, night

What’s Tonight?

Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Polo Tavern - Bingo Night Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

May 27 27Monday, Live Music

Hopelands Gardens (Aiken) – Aiken Civic Ballet Shannon’s - Open Mic Night Sky City - Down, Honky, Mount Carmel

What’s Tonight?

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Chevy’s - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Poker Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia The Playground - DJ Rana Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker Wild Wing - Trivia

May 28 28Tuesday, Live Music

Appleby Concert Series - Hotlanta Dixieland Band The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night w/ Free Lessons Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Joe’s Underground - Poker Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Poker

Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia Mi Rancho - Cornhole Carolina Meeting The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night

May 29 29Wednesday, Live Music Joe’s Underground – Celia Gary Malibu Jack’s - Live Music

What’s Tonight?

Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - The Comedy Zone w/ Ken Evans and Carmen Morales Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey

Upcoming

Aaron Lewis - Country Club May 31 Steven Bryant – Joe’s Underground May 31 AcostA - Stillwater Taproom May 31 The Hollerers – Somewhere In Augusta May 31 AcostA – Stillwater Taproom May 31 Acid Wash 80’s Band - Surrey Tavern May 31 Saint Happening – Joe’s Underground June 1 Bumper Jacksons - Joe’s Underground June 5 Granny’s Gin – Joe’s Underground June 8 The Welfare Liners - Stillwater Taproom June 8 Blair Crimmins and the Hookers - Stillwater Taproom June 14 Donald Merkle and the Blacksmiths - Stillwater Taproom June 15 Earth, Wind & Fire - James Brown Arena June 18 Will McCranie - Stillwater Taproom June 20 The Mason Jars - Stillwater Taproom June 21 The Darnell Boys - Stillwater Taproom June 22 23MAY2013


V24|NO21

Take Care Augusta Matt Stone doesn’t live here anymore

Since this is my last article for the Metro Spirit I figured I would address it as a love letter to Augusta and the Augusta music scene. Oh how I love thee, downtown bars. The sweetest love goes to the best taproom in Augusta, Stillwater Taproom. I will remember you most for your delicious beer selection, Fireball shots, Jager Bombs and the correct way to pour a Guinness. Your stage has been plentiful and your hospitality will be truly missed. Not only did you let me enter your bar, you let my dog enter as well. Oh, and last thing Stillwater: take care of Robbie for me, even though he called me “The White Devil.” Next is what I considered my mistress in downtown Augusta, 1102 Downtown Bar and Grill. Thank you for bottomless mimosas and bloody marys. I barely made it through many hungover Sundays without you. Thanks to you, 1102, it was a hungover Monday. I will remember your wings with great fondness, and my memories of the back bar will forever be hazy. Thank you Metro Coffee House for letting there be a place to listen to live music while I debate on which shot I would like to purchase: tequila or espresso. Even though your bathrooms look like a scene from the movie “Saw,” I will miss you dearly. To First Round Bar, even though our relationship has been brief, the warmth that I felt when I walked in your bar was uncanny. Sometimes it’s the little things that count, and for that, I thank you. To the house that James Brown built, the Soul Bar, your ‘80s Nights will always make my soul shiver. Many a nights I have danced on your two-foot raised stage while people looked at me in horror. Next, thank you Loft of Augusta, a place that serves cold beer and doesn’t put up with any crap. As promised, you step out of line at the Loft, you will suddenly be visiting the outside of the Loft. Take care of downtown Augusta, Adrian, and clean up these streets. To Fantasy’s, I want to thank you for letting me see things I have never seen before. Not only were the sights new, I have never been asked by a stripper to get them a hamburger before. Thank you for that memory. Firehouse, I would like to send my love to you for always being that extra push to drunkville. If you are ending your night at Firehouse, there’s no telling where you are really ending your night when you leave. Last, a big warm embrace goes to Sky City. Countless 16-ounce PBRs were consumed in your presence. You are the best music venue in Augusta. If I wanted some spice in my life, all I had to do was turn to the big blue sign illuminating in the Augusta streets. I would be cheating myself if I didn’t mention the Country Club and Wild Wing Café. Country Club: I love you and your infectious dance floor, but please lower your beer prices. Wild Wing Café: thank you for many late nights with McFly. You take credit for my largest tab in seven years: $235. It was worth it. To pick a favorite local artist would be like ripping my musical heart in two. So, I will put down a quick list of my favorite local bands that I’ve seen in my past seven years, for some are no longer with us. Edison Project, Dead Confederate, Shotgun Opera, Funk You and Will McCranie. If not still, at one time I was obsessed with you. I hope at one time you felt the same way about me. Some of us have hugged before, but that’s a whole ‘nother story altogether. Most of all I would like to thank you 95 Rock, and, most of all, you Chuck Williams. No jokes there; that one’s honest. Thank you, Augusta. You will be truly missed, but I’m now headed to the bath salt capital of the world, that’s right, Florida. What bands are coming to Augusta? Who’s next to hit the music scene? Don’t email me, I don’t live here anymore.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. Until Friday, that is.

HE CK OUT T E H C E M CO

s d n a est b

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W H E R E G R E AT F O O D R O C K S . AUGUSTA 706-364-WILD

23MAY2013

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3035 WASHINGTON ROAD

W W W. W I L D W I N G C A F E . C O M AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 37


V24|NO21

AMYCHRISTIAN

Mobile Deliciousness

Laziza plans to roll out new food truck in the fall

When Laziza Mediterranean Grill opened in September of 2011, the goal of its owner Nader Khatib (pictured above) was to give local residents a taste of something different. Now, however, Khatib himself is trying something a little different by getting into the food truck game. “We just want the extra revenue to eventually to be able to finance our next location,” Khatib said, explaining that a second Laziza storefront is still in the distant future. “And also, we want to get out to areas of town where they may not have heard of us. Places near downtown, like the medical district, at special events like the farmers market and the Columbia County Fair, and things like Thunder Over Augusta… next year, obviously.”

Khatib and his business partner, Leigh Fletcher, have been planning the mobile restaurant for a year, but just recently bought a truck. They’ll spend the next three months or so renovating it to include an 18-foot full kitchen and adorning the exterior with Laziza’s signature red and gold color scheme before hopefully rolling out their new venture next September. “We’re going to be serving a condensed menu of pita wraps, hummus, salads and sides,” he explained. “We’ll have gyros, chicken shawarma and falafel in wraps, which are the three best sellers we have.” Laziza’s strength has always been in its diversity. The only Arabic fast-casual restaurant in the area,

the eatery — in the Publix Shopping Center in Evans — has introduced diners to everything from the wraps mentioned above to lamb shishkebabs, falafel and even dessert crepes. All of the dishes are made fresh every day and diners have responded to this care and attention with loyalty. “Business has been good,” Khatib said. “It’s steady and consistent month to month.” Customers have also responded to Khatib’s commitment to keeping his menu fresh. A recently introduced jalapeno hummus has become one of the restaurant’s most popular flavors, and diners also love another new addition. “We have a grilled veggie wrap now,” he said. “It’s a seasonal vegetable medley that we can do as a platter or in a pita wrap. We can also do a chicken and grilled veggie platter and we also offer it as a side.” And while Khatib has his eye on his long-term goal of a second location, possibly on Washington Road closer to downtown, he is looking forward to the next few months and the food truck that will be on the road by the end of the year. “I’m excited and I’m also nervous, because it’s definitely going to impact our normal operation here,” he said. “Things are running so smoothly now. I’m sure it’ll be rough at the beginning but I’m sure we’ll figure things out.” Laziza Mediterranean Grill 4272 Washington Road, Evans Monday-Saturday, 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Sunday, 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m. 706-504-4303 | lazizagrill.com

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38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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23MAY2013


V24|NO21

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Andy Jones, SPC Alisha Orebaugh, PFC Darryl Thomas and Don Kittilson at Thunder Over Augusta in Evans Towne Center Park.

SIGHTINGS

Major General (Ret.) William and Lidia Rajczak and Donnie Thompson at Thunder Over Augusta in Evans Towne Center Park.

David Barrett, Caitlin Lightner, Sutton Metz and Zoe Snook at Thunder Over Augusta in Evans Towne Center Park.

SIGHTINGS

Erin Gurley, Sarah Myrna and Leeann Thompson at The Bee’s Knees.

Taylor Higgins, former Atlanta Brave Chipper Jones and Augusta Sports Council CEO Brinsley Thigpen at the G.A.M.E.S. Awards Banquet at the Augusta Marriott and Convention Center.

SIGHTINGS

Cam Rowland, Elizabeth Awad, Markus Favors and Pete Stitt at Artists Local 1155.

23MAY2013

Bryan Rogers, Colleen Kennedy and Cameron Jones at Sky City.

Alex Isaac, Connie Louise and Danielle Priebe at Bar on Broad.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Ed, Sharon and Olivia Enoch with Andrew Reimche at Mellow Mushroom.

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 39


THE

V24|NO21

BOX TOPS

KHAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!!! Oops... didn’t mean to spoil that for you.

EIGHT

RANK

TITLES

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

$70,165,559

$83,701,981

1

-

2

IRON MAN 3

$35,770,094

$337,661,977

3

1

3

THE GREAT GATSBY

$23,939,228

$90,682,832

2

2

4

PAIN AND GAIN

$3,237,689

$46,712,183

4

3

5

THE CROODS

$3,024,602

$177,024,785

9

7

“Star Trek Into Darkness”

SAMEIFLING

Great action movie that needs a few more planets and aliens Director J.J. Abrams has never, to my knowledge, made any bones about channeling his matinee-popcorn hero, Steven Spielberg — and in the opening moments of “Star Trek Into Darkness,” the protégé manages to snare a couple of Spielberg classics in one scene. The crew of the Enterprise is distracting a primitive people on a faraway (and blissfully colorsaturated) world while Spock (Zachary Quinto) sneaks into a volcano with a device that will prevent its eruption and spare the alien species. The natives’ chase of Kirk (Chris Pine) and Bones (Karl Urban) is straight out of “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” spears and all. When the crew defies the prime directive to steer the Enterprise out of the ocean and over the volcano to rescue Spock, and the natives begin reverently sketching the ship in the soil, “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” feels its ears burning. That juxtaposition may not be Abrams announcing that he’s killing his idol, quite. But it helps to frame this sequel to his thrilling 2009 “Star Trek” reboot as somewhere in the happy nook between Indiana Jones and the wonder of deep space. When it finds that groove, “Into Darkness” brings all the adventure and panache of its predecessor. On balance, though, for as sparkly and gripping as it is, “Into Darkness” over-steers into a military-style revenge procedural. Too

much of its dialogue belongs to humans. It sounds strange to say, maybe, but it stars too few planets. Kirk and Spock get disciplined for the volcano stunt, and just as Kirk is coming to grips with a demotion, a suicide bomber attacks a Federation building. The mastermind flees to Kronos, a Klingon stronghold — setting up a situation Kirk and his superior, Admiral Marcus (Peter Weller) diagnose as perilously tetchy. The Klingons have been itching for confrontation, and their so much as detecting the Enterprise could ignite conflict. The ship’s mission has always been one of exploration and ambassadorship — new worlds, new civilizations, all that — so when Kirk accepts a payload of experimental torpedoes to drop on an uninhabited slab of an alien world, we recognize this peace-loving people (us!) has been shoved toward war by a terrorist who flees to a forgotten corner of the map. The allegory isn’t hard to find here, and is only underscored when the final credits begin with a dedication to “9/11 veterans.” The original “Star Trek” series famously engaged the cultural milieu of its day (feminism, race relations, the Cold War) and in this, “Into Darkness” upholds the tradition.

As the supervillain in question (giving you his name might spoil a little thrill), Benedict Cumberbatch, of the BBC’s “Sherlock,” radiates a savage menace; if the Federation is going to be creeping up to forbidden borders to rain missiles on the future’s equivalent of Waziristan, it might as well be to vaporize this fiend. Ignoring those pretensions, this is still a candycoated space romp. Every shot inside the Enterprise glistens with psychedelic lens-flares, as though it were filmed inside a Christmas tree through a frosted windowpane. The visual effects are bold and seamless. The action is reckless and innovative. This series could benefit from some more aliens already. Until that day (in 2016, when the next sequel arrives), these humans will tide us over.

MAY 24 ACTION

FAMILY

“Fast & Furious 6,” rated PG-13, starring Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez. Man, The Rock is everywhere this spring.

“Epic,” rated PG, starring the voices of Amanda Seyfried, Beyonce Knowles, Josh Hutcherson, Colin Farrell, Aziz Ansari. In this very loose adaptation of the children’s book “The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs,” a teen is transported into a forest, right in the middle of a battle between good and evil.

COMEDY

DRAMA

“The Hangover Part III,” rated R, starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Ken Jeong, John Goodman, Melissa McCarthy, Jeffrey Tambor, Heather Graham. How much more trouble can the Wolfpack get into? Does it matter? 40 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

“Before Midnight,” rated R, starring Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy. Fans loved the hit or miss romance between Jesse and Celine in 1995’s “Before Sunrise” and 2004’s “Before Sunset.” Will they still love the couple now, almost 20 years after their first meet cute? 23MAY2013


LINE

Take Woodward and Bernstein plus a microphone and and you get Lauren Walsh of NBC 26...By far the best the Tv reporter in augusta . she has no fear of these sheisters who have been ripping off the taxpayers $$$ ... Rock on girl!!!! The TRUTH is aways the RIGHT answer and I am proud of the way you go for it!!!! You will move on to greener pastures one day , but we love you while we have you!!!!

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

Every Tuesday a bus load of criminals from GA Corrections is transported to the Augusta Canal trail. They must be on break every time I run by. I almost had my wife convinced it was safe to run there. If you want to have a bike night at your establishment, dont disrespect your customers by telling them what they can and cant wear. Go back to Carolina.

why are you hiding outside the mall with all of your delicious goodies inside? your angus club with the horseradish dressing is DALLIcious! The police better start doing a better job with the crime in this city before the fed up citizens do it for them. soups always creamy and fresh...i ..i love you?... i love you?..shhh.. just dont tell my husband! I just want to thank all the fine considerate people that share their music with me at the red lights, especially when your bass rattles This internet sales tax nonsense hi-lights yet again how little the people who think they are in charge understand what it is they think my brain. And on the few occasions that your stereo emits vocals, they are in charge of. Furthermore, it really brings out the American please let them be as disrespectful and vulgar as possible. Our tradition of thinking we own this thing we call the internet (we don’t! elderly citizens just live for that. And my children need to be exposed to that as much as possible so that they can grow up to be fine NOBODY does). I buy most of my online purchases from a website people just like you, and like your kids will be. in Canada. How’s that going to work? Nobody even brings it up in the debate! It’s not ours, folks! Never was! It belongs to the world! A world without borders! If you don’t get that, then STFU, noob! OMGWTFBBQ!

42 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

up THUMBS

WHINE

V24|NO21

A death toll that goes down instead of up is a miracle. A small one, but Oklahoma will take it.

down

Seriously, though. Oklahoma doesn’t need any more storms, Mother Nature. What they need is a break.

23MAY2013



Metro Spirit 05.23.2013