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Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Kristin Hawkins |Rhonda Jones nes |Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|M Ruffin|Mat Ruffin|Matt Stone|Adam Wadding|Jenny Wrig Wright

o r t e m IR P S 04 06


Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at m.© events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per



EricJohnson|news editor

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WHINELINE DDA Executive Director Margaret Woodward’s recent announcement that the authority plans to hire a consulting firm from Alabama to help attract businesses to downtown is not surprising. Regretfully, her history tells the story. 1. In spite of her handsome salary and prolific

propaganda, left to her own talents she is neither qualified or interested in devising a meaningful plan to create such new business downtown. Everything she has ever accomplished has been a mere facilitation of others’ efforts and ideas (e.g. Riiverfront Parking Deck, CADI program, Georgia Municipal Foundation loan conduit,

First Friday events, etc.). 2. She is an Auburn University graduate.

compensates for his other short comings.

o r t e m IRIT SP and I get a commercial. I’m watching some television show, a commercial comes on, I change channels, and I get more commercials. It’s time for you ca$h-loaded advertiser$ to start your own channel - commercials ad infinitum on “The Commercial Channel.”

rolling thunder my ass. rolling egos on display. just do your job correctly and you don’t have to put on a I heard Austin Rhode say he parade every night. was 6 feet tall on the radio. Enough is enough! I click on I guess two inches of that (continued on page 34) comes from his over inflated almost any YouTube video ego. I wonder if his ego Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636 The lake is up! The lake is up!

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Licensed? Bonded? Insured?: For homeowners, those questions aren’t easily answered, though the answers can make all the difference First Commencement: The long road to the consolidated school’s first graduation ceremony Lofts Alive: Historic Augusta’s annual event has people looking up at downtown living Consigning for a Cause: Children’s Hospital employees roll up their sleeves to help raise money for patient care Riding the Attack: Historic group to offer rides in helicopter icons at Thunder Over Augusta Creative Space: Artspace seeking to help artists find affordable worklive environments



INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

Kettle Meet Pot

Since the Augusta Chronicle feels so strongly about Dr. Ricardo Azziz’s recent breaches of protocol regarding the use of state-owned resources during his niece’s wedding, we decided to give it even more exposure by reprinting it here. The following is from the Augusta Chronicle’s Thursday, April 25, 2013. We’re sure they’ll forgive the interruptions.


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Can you imagine a mayor commandeering a city bus, as well as city police officers, to help pull off an extended relative’s wedding at a taxpayer-owned home? Of course not. That would be a raw abuse of power, an imperious and legally questionable, ethically dubious act. No leader worth his salt would even contemplate such an autocratic, high-handed appropriation of the public’s resources for personal benefit. In 1998, Billy Morris asked for and received the forgiveness of $7,500,000, given to him through the Urban Development Action Grant program for the purposes of constructing his Radisson Hotel in downtown Augusta… taxpayer money. But Ricardo Azziz actually did such a thing. The president of Georgia Regents University last weekend seized the university’s shuttle, a driver and four university police officers to help him put on his niece’s wedding. The shuttle, on duty for some 11 hours, ferried wedding guests between the Partridge Inn and Azziz’s state-owned home. These are the actions of a man who appears to think the university is there to serve him, that all its employees and resources are at his beck and call. In 2002, Billy Morris paid $200,000 for a study that advocated the construction of a new entertainment complex to be built on Riverwatch at I-20. Morris would run the facility, which was to be built with around $80,000,000 of taxpayer money. Of course the Chronicle championed the idea, which was soundly defeated by the voters. It is yet another example of this man’s continued bad judgment. If what he did is legal, it ought not be. Government officials should never be allowed carte-blanche use of taxpayer-supplied resources for purely personal uses. This wedding in no way advanced the university or the president’s role in it. Quite the opposite, in fact; Azziz has yet again diminished his office with his pretentious wielding of nearly unchecked power for his own selfish gain — not to mention his cheapskate attempt to avoid the cost of a private limo. In the early ’70s Billy Morris was sued by his own mamma, brother and sister, who charged he had underhandedly gained control of the newspaper empire after his father’s death. We checked. By seizing state assets instead, Azziz saved all of $1,200 off the cost of a limo. This, from a man making in the neighborhood of $600,000 a year and living rentfree. But while he’s offered to reimburse the university its alleged cost of $416, money isn’t the issue. The issue is the kind of self-exalted thinking that leads this man to presume the university is his kingdom, and himself the monarch. Azziz wouldn’t deign to answer questions this week, and a television reporter who showed up to one GRU office was put in phone contact with an Azziz spokeswoman who told the reporter to leave. The reporter asked GRU students what they thought of Azziz’s actions. They were rightly outraged, with one noting that students recently had to use their own cars to get to a school-sponsored trip to the Augusta Youth Development campus. The four university officers were initially described by a spokeswoman Monday as having “volunteered” to work the wedding — which would raise a number of questions about the propriety of such an arrangement. Wednesday, after growing questions about the supposed volunteer officers, the story oddly changed: The officers are now said to have been paid in cash by the happy couple. Although, since one of the four officers is an hourly employee, the university must now pay him time and a half. Given Azziz’s ill treatment of the Augusta community — particularly his ramming the Georgia Regents name down our throats, despite near-unanimous revulsion at it and a national survey preferring the name “Augusta” — you have to believe this is but the tip of the iceberg. Heaven knows what other resources have been expended, borrowed or conscripted by royal decree, in order to please the king. In 2010, Billy Morris and Morris Communications walked away from $178,000,000 in debt via bankruptcy. It’s a good bet there are other tales of outrage to be had, but he’s got the workforce at the university so frightened into silence that there’s a lid on them. Billy Morris used to charge his employees for parking. In a parking lot he owned. Sooner or later, the truth will out. The serfs will have had quite enough. When that time comes, we’ll be happy to pony up the cost of a limo to take him to the airport. Did we mention Billy Morris used to charge his employees for parking? 2MAY2013


From the Publisher Months ago we announced the return of former music writer Andy Stokes, who was going to begin contributing a weekly music column. I think we got two out of him. Then… nothing. I didn’t notice at first, but when I did I asked Amy [Christian, arts editor/she who must be obeyed] what was up, she said he was worried he couldn’t keep up the pace or something. I’ve been meaning to reach out to him but keep forgetting. So this week we’ll test the boundaries of plagiarism (Phil Kent, seemed to work out okay for you) and rip off his FB thread. I’m not sure if this will be a weekly feature or not. We’ve hacked his voicemail and private IMs. They may be next week. Enjoy! Joe White

Surprise, surprise... Don Delillo doesn’t have a Twitter account. Can someone explain the act of putting the Monster energy drink logo somewhere on their truck? That concept seems really, really stupid. I hope there’s something I’m missing. Sleeping on the couch is for winners, that’s who it’s for.

Came THIS CLOSE to stopping and asking if the crazy antiabortion protesters downtown needed Masters tickets, how many, and which day. I’m as inspired by the movie Chariots of Fire as anyone, but come on, Usain Bolt’s grandmother could moonwalk faster than these whitebread suckas! I need a powerful elixir.

Just occurred to me I haven’t slept in like 36 hours and I feel EXCELLENT. Of all the weird s**t my doberman has unearthed/ discovered and brought back to pay tribute to his supreme overlord (me), this has got to be standing record. I think it Hey Augustans, how about those other 51 weeks of the dates back to the Paleolithic Era, which translates from Latin Congratulations to Jason Collins on becoming the all-time year, when those pathetic-looking ticket scalpers standing as “the brief chart reign of Young MC.” (photo of stainless at the base of all the exit ramps take down their “Masters gay leader in all available basketball stats. tickets needed” signs and resume selling Augusta Chronicle steel flask) newspapers? Happy 137th birthday, Barbra Streisand. You Happiest (30th!!!) birthday to one of the smartest, most SUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!! understanding and most talented people I’ve ever known. I’d rather puke coat hangers than be headed into this I love you, little brother, you’re a huge inspiration, and also I need someone to come up with a way for me to wear the s**thole for 10 hours. hugely important, to me. Sweatpants of Shame to work all week. All these spam ads on Facebook are getting (someone) “Bartending tonight, come and see me!” “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is ridiculous(ly) (rich). - Everyone you know who bartends. Go see them. knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.” Accidentally pouring OJ over your cereal is God’s medium for --Brian O’Driscoll suggesting that maybe you shouldn’t leave the house today. Why would anyone need an extra Facebook app to remember any of their friends’ birthdays? Isn’t Facebook You know how squirrels get really indecisive and pull a triple studder-step in the half-second before meeting your The people have spoken, and for some inexplicable reason already that? Idiots. they keep wanting to bring back Crystal Pepsi. car tire? I wish cats did the same thing.

To New Residents of Augusta Cinco de Mayo may be celebrated where you come from. May not. But you live here in Augusta now and we here at the Metro Spirit want to give you the 411. (That is the information. You see, years ago when you needed to find someone’s “home” phone number, you would dial 411 and a human being would answer the phone and say “Information, may I help you?” and you would give them the person’s name. If you were lucky they would give you the correct number. If they gave you the incorrect number, you’d call back and tell them. Information would respond, “We’re sorry about that. We’ll be sure and credit your account. Here is the correct number.” Years later they would actually ask if you would like to be connected, as if by magic!


Of course at the end of the month when your phone bill came you would curse 411 and their $37 in Information fees. But we digress.) Augusta was founded on the fifth of May by Javier Oglethorpe in 1735. To commemorate this historic date, we come together at Mexican restaurants and sing karaoke alongside complete strangers from Hephzibah and Harlem. We drink margaritas the size of a baby’s head and marvel at the wife beater and gold chain combinations. We yell into our cell phones and try to get the waiter’s attention five tables over. At the end of the chaos we marvel that the bastards got our check right. It’s the Augusta Way. Now get out!





Role Playing Gone Wrong

Ryan Lochte we can laugh at. Ann Coulter? Not so much. After all this time writing and bitching about them, I’m still often baffled, though no less confused, by the public personas of a select few celebrities, political talking heads or not. While watching the E! Network, Fox News or MSNBC, the thought that most often goes through my admittedly-feeble mind is, “There’s no way in hell that person could possibly be as stupid/ignorant/ hateful/tanned as he or she appears to be.” Actually, that’s just the in retrospect, more eloquent version of what I’d been thinking. In the moment, it’s more along the lines of slack-jawed drooling. Still, I’m all for offering someone the benefit of the doubt. When Tom Cruise curb-stomped Oprah’s couch in what was either a love- or thetan-induced happytantrum, I was the only one in my social circle saying, “I give this relationship till after the second baby.” Though to be fair, I changed my pick in the office pool after they named the kid Suri. To wit, I’m starting to get the impression that some of these people are just clowning us, taking advantage of other celebrities’ increasing vapidity and our parallel inoculation to such pervasive self-infantilism. Patton Oswalt once said of impromptu comedian/heroin addict Dr. Pepper, “If he had done what he meant to do, he’d be a genius… like, Andy Kaufman-level genius.” Here are two others that, I pray to God, are just jerking our chains in elaborate, spectacularly epic ways. 1. Ryan Lochte On his show “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” Ryan Lochte effectively destroys any semblance of dramatic tension as he spends 30 minutes simply answering that question. After struggling through a single episode, I’m kind of amazed he still has that much money, seeing as how he owes Down’s Syndrome royalties every time he opens his mouth. He also comes dangerously close to plagiarizing Tintin from “The Crow,” — “Turn it up” almost equals “Fire it up!” — which is actually coincidental, as “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” is the sort of vapid dreck that might actually get both Bruce and Brandon Lee to rise from the grave and vanquish America’s Greatest Threat. Spoilers ahead. The show mostly consists of Lochte showing off expensive crap, grinning like a Cheshire cat mid-seizure, and saying “Jeah!” (pronounced “Chia!” for some horrible reason) which isn’t so much a catchphrase as it is a really convenient way to selfdiagnose a head injury. The editing shows some admittedly through-the-



looking-glass self-awareness on the E! production crew’s part; in one segment, scenes of Lochte acting like a complete douchebag — doing shots at a club, pointing to his abs, doing shots off his abs while pointing to them — are spliced into Lochte’s incredulous insistence that he doesn’t even know what a douchebag is. “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” is an abyss that never gazes back because it’s distracted by a dust bunny. Here’s my theory: In one of his first-high profile postevent interviews at the Olympics, Lochte, due to some combination of camera-shock, exhaustion and general social awkwardness, came across as kind of a buffoon, got a lot of attention for it and ran with it. Case in point — he’s dumb enough to say “Jeah!” but smart enough to register it as a catchphrase. 2. Ann Coulter As we know her, Ann Coulter is what happens when Satan wears a supermodel’s skin and takes a correspondence course in race-baiting. In a blurb on the back of “Blacklisted by History,” an apologist biography of Joseph McCarthy — author M. Stanton Evans seems unable to maintain an erection unless he’s watching “Rocky IV” — Coulter declared it “the greatest book since the Bible.” That means two things: 1) Coulter’s parents opted to read her the Necromonicon instead of “Corduroy” when she was a toddler, and 2) at least Ann and I can agree on the notion that Joseph McCarthy is synonymous with sulfur storms, sevenheaded beasts and ritual dismemberment. Linguistically speaking, Coulter actually turns a better phrase than most, even though most of what she says could double as lyrics to an ancient Mordor lullaby. Here, walk with me: “If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether.” ( “I believe our motto should be, after 9/11: Jihad monkey talks tough; jihad monkey takes the consequences. Sorry, I realize that’s offensive. How about ‘camel jockey’? What? Now what’d I say? Boy, you tent merchants sure are touchy. Grow up, would you?” ( “That is where the war is being fought, in Iraq. That is where we are fighting Al Qaeda. Sorry we have to

use your country, Iraqis, but you let Saddam come to power, and we are going to instill democracy in your country.” ( The fact that the U.S. helped to install Saddam as a quasi-puppet dictator — something Coulter knows full well, because she’s not an idiot — is sort of beside the point here. What’s important is the vitriolic-borderingon-satirical tone her writing and speeches often take. It’s not scathing; it’s just downright hateful, wrapped up in Ivy League cadences and boobs. When asked on two separate occasions how Muslims would travel if not on airlines, Coulter alternately replied “flying carpets” and “a camel,” which are the kinds of things that make even the demon-pilot speaking through her pour himself a stiff scotch and say “Oh man, I’m sorry… that’s my father talking.” So look, Coulter is playing the system, and making bank. Good for her. But the difference between her and someone like Lochte — or Kim Kardashian or Chael Sonnen or any other celebrity for whom manufactured persona takes precedence over substance of character — lies in the respective arenas in which they operate. If Lochte wants to portray himself as Frat Boy Ken, that’s fine. We watch “The Soup,” laugh at him and he gets paid. Aside from a few tired gripes — and believe me, I gripe — about the pervading cult of unexceptional celebrity, no harm done. Coulter, though — and I think we can lump Rush Limbaugh in here too — does harm, because no one takes “Jeah!” seriously, but there are wackos out there who hear her talk about “tent merchants,” “camel jockeys” and “forcing democracy on [Iraqis]” and think, “Yeah, that lady’s got a point.” Like I said, Ann Coulter isn’t stupid. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and I seriously doubt she sincerely believes 75 percent of what she says. The problem rests with those who believe 100 percent of what she says. She may be role-playing, but when theater begins to bleed into the real world, it can get awkward at best, ugly at worst.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.









First Commencement

The long road to the consolidated school’s first graduation ceremony

On May 10, nearly 1,100 students will make history by becoming the first graduating class of Georgia Regents University. Since the announcement of the merger, the new university has had its fair share of controversy and trials, but in the spring semester of last year, a group was formed to begin preparations for the inevitable, the first graduation of Georgia Regents University. “When the consolidation was announced in December of 2011, the university established a consolidation action team, or a CAT team for short, and basically this team had a variety of what I would call executive-level folks on both sides,” said Dale Hartenburg, director of campus life services at GRU. “The CAT looked at all of the different things that had to be done for consolidation and, in February of 2012, they issued a request for a commencement work team, and myself and Mr. Eddie Howard, who is no longer at Augusta State, were asked to be the chairs.” According to Hartenburg, the only information that was given by the CAT team to the commencement team was the date of the ceremony and that all nine colleges within the university would all be participating in a single ceremony. “From there the work team went into action and we reviewed several different venues here locally,” Hartenburg said. “We ended up using the James Brown Arena, largely because it was the one that could hold the most capacity and at the same time it was air conditioned.” After figuring out where the ceremony would be held, the group decided that the numbers of tickets 8


each graduate would receive would have to be limited, he added. “Based on seating capacity we didn’t want students walking to the door and not being able to have any family member get in because of it being filled to capacity,” Hartenburg explained. “We opted for a ticket system. Each student was given the option to get six tickets, and really I would say that 90 percent of the students who are participating have opted for the six tickets.” During the ceremony, there will only be one speaker, who is Governor Nathan Deal. The commencement work team was only advised of who the speaker would be, Hartenburg said. Generally the speaker is chosen through the office of the president and his cabinet. Hartenburg added that students from the different colleges are generally highlighted in events hosted by each individual college and department. “In appreciation to the graduates and how many people are part of the ceremony, and the fact that each graduate is going to walk across the stage, we just made it a point not to belabor the length of the ceremony,” Hartenburg said. Michelle Neely, the JagStore manager, said that as far as the graduation announcements and its design go, there was not much to be done. “We work with Jostens to design and develop new announcements,” Neely said. “Everything is ordered directly through them. We’ve dealt with them before when we went from Augusta College to Augusta State.” One of the designs that was a little more complicated to design was the hood, which is the sash worn around a graduates neck, Hartenburg said. “The design piece, which is in the back of the hood,

that is what really reflects your institution to be unique from any other institution,” he explained. “We looked at lot of samples and a lot of designs given that the school colors changed just a little bit. We used some of the elements of some of the warmer designs on the hood and we turned it into a new hood designed.” Hartenburg said that they used some historical elements as well as new designs to get the finished product. He said that the point was to bring the universities together in the design. As far as the diploma is concerned, the design was left up to the Registrar’s Office. “All I know is that all students are receiving a Georgia Regents diploma as well as a commemorative diploma from whichever institution it was last fall,” he said. Both Neely and Hartenburg agreed that now is the time that all the planning and preparation pays off. “This is a fun time for me and a lot of my staff and for the university as a whole,” Hartenburg said. “We don’t focus on ourselves at this point. It’s about seeing these graduates walk across the stage. It’s about their accomplishment right now.” After the commencement ceremony, Hartenburg said there will be more to look as far as the future ceremonies at GRU. “The work team does have a secondary charge, and that is, after we get past this initial commencement, it is to develop a graduation schedule,” Hartenburg said. “What kind of ceremony do we have in the fall, what colleges are involved in the fall. And then getting into the future, do we maybe look at having two ceremonies either divided by grad- undergrad or divided by college. Those are the things the work team will be looking at after this ceremony is completed.” 2MAY2013


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Lofts Alive

Historic Augusta’s annual event has people looking up at downtown living

Sutherland Mill

For the ninth year, Historic Augusta invites Augusta to experience what it’s like living and working in the downtown area. In honor of National Preservation Month every May, the National Trust for Historic Preservation spotlights well-preserved history and encourages restoration. This weekend, Historic Augusta puts our local history on a pedestal, or at least, in a loft. Eleven buildings of various sizes and styles, each with distinctive architectural techniques and design, will be featured on the Downtown Loft Tour. This year’s

tour includes everything from the Carr Building, which houses the new Farmhaus Burger and has lofts above, to the lofts at Lowrey’s Wagon Works and Confederate Shoe Factory. “The Downtown Loft Tour showcases what makes living, working and playing in downtown Augusta so special,” says Julia Jackson, Historic Augusta’s programs and marketing director. Some of the favorites on the list from past tours include The White’s Building, Sutherland Mill and the Miller Theatre, which is always a crowd pleaser, according to Jackson. “So many local people have such fond memories of

watching movies or attending concerts there,” she says. The Miller Theatre opened in 1940, and the 1957 film, “The Three Faces of Eve,” premiered there. Joanne Woodward, who was born in Thomasville, Georgia, won her Best Actress Oscar for her staring role as a woman with multiple personalities. Symphony Orchestra Augusta has been preparing for an extensive and expensive renovation that would make the majestic old theater its home. Another interesting story among this year’s lofts is the Italianate-style Henry-Cohen House on Greene Street. Just a few years ago, the property was condemned and listed on Historic Augusta’s Endangered Properties List. Then, after a restoration to its original appearance, the project was given an Annual Preservation Award by Historic Augusta last November. “It was featured on the tour last year, just after it was acquired by Peach Contractors, a preservationminded buyer who rehabilitated the building into loft apartments by taking advantage of preservation tax credits,” Jackson says. “This year, the public will be able to see the ‘after’ by viewing an occupied loft apartment.” Tickets are available for $20 during the tour or for $15 in advance at Historic Augusta, area First Bank of Georgia branches and at several local businesses. For more information, visit

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By Jonah Kagan / Edited by Will Shortz 89 Comes to 91 Be a lenient judge? 96 Hayride seats 97 Some tennis play 98 All that and ___ of chips 99 Top Qatari 100 Lifeguard’s act 101 It might be right under your nose 105 Maligned merchandise? 109 Cartoon boy with an antenna on his cap 110 Lover of Lancelot 111 Actor Hirsch of “Speed Racer” 112 “Victory is yours” 113 Wolfgang Puck restaurant 114 Part of a reactor 115 One of the Ephrons 116 Like some blood and articles

44 Gather 45 Puerto Rican city that shares its name with an explorer 46 “Awake in the Dark” writer 47 Increase 48 Yes ___ 49 You might see one in an eclipse 50 Margaret Thatcher, e.g. 52 “Catch ya later!” 53 Supermodel Cheryl 56 Police setup 57 Exams for would-be Natl. Merit Scholars 59 Family name in the Old West 60 Undercover? 61 Some ’30s design 62 Good name for a car mechanic? 63 Commitment signifier 65 Amenable (to) Down 66 Tough 1 Librarian’s urging 69 Reflexes said to be contagious 2 “When I was young …” 72 Like 3 A lot of binary code 75 They’re not vets yet 4 Memorable romantic moment 76 Bother, with “at” 5 Regain clarity, say 77 Under the table, maybe 6 Got rid of the waist? 78 Work the land 7 Relatives of dune buggies, for short 79 “What’s the big ___?” 8 Something to connect to a TV 80 Land on the Arctic Cir. 9 U.S. alien’s subj. 82 Dipsos 10 They’re shaken in kitchens 83 Title fellow in a Beatles song 11 Support 84 Figure with arrows 12 Actress Suzanne 87 Supposed 13 Hasbro brand 88 “Eww, no!” 14 Affiliate of the A.F.L.-C.I.O. 89 Was mentioned 15 1989 John Cusack romantic 90 Lover of Cesario in “Twelfth comedy Night” 16 Like some noise music 91 Set of software components 17 “___ the Dinosaur” (pioneering packaged for release, briefly cartoon short) 92 Moved like a caterpillar 18 Gravelly ridge 93 Possible flu symptom 22 ___ culpa 94 Possible flu symptom 25 Sub ___ 95 “Conan” channel 27 Series 96 Arctic Circle sights 31 Captain’s command 97 Annual dinner 32 Stupefies 100 Excite, with “up” 33 Ear-related 101 Roman 1551 34 Two threes, for one 102 Wheat or corn 35 Site of Cyclops’s smithy 103 It might fill a kiddie pool 36 “It was,” in Latin 104 Carefully saw? 37 O.T. book 106 Rex of the jungle 38 Pert 107 Kipling’s “Follow Me ___” 41 No. between 0 and 4 108 It can be refined 43 Support provider













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Across 1 Solar panel spots, sometimes 6 Coolidge’s vice president 11 Hollywood hrs. 14 Grammar concern 19 “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” composer Morricone 20 Dramatic response to “Who’s there?” 21 Neighboring bunkers? 23 Biting 24 Tammany Hall corruption, e.g.? 26 Patisserie offerings 28 Sunflower State capital 29 Starting stake 30 Bona fide 31 Poetic pause 33 Sign that means “Do not disturb” 34 Try to see what you’re getting for Christmas? 38 Something a model should be in 39 Up, as an anchor 40 Piazza parts? 41 Way to go 42 What much can follow 43 Is in the works 45 Academy for criminals? 51 Journey from the nest to the kitchen, say? 53 “Arrested Development” character Fünke 54 “Harry Potter” librarian Pince 55 Itty-bitty battery 56 Cactus features 58 Had an appetite 60 Take in or take on 64 Hidden drug habit, maybe? 67 Torture 68 Accidentally reveal 70 Psychologist Jean known for his theory of cognitive development 71 Laugh syllable 73 Prefix with -plasm 74 Pitchers to publishers 76 Drink greedily? 81 Playground apparatus of the Apocalypse? 83 Game for players with steady hands 85 ___ deck (part of a cruise ship) 86 Plasma constituents 87 Vibe 88 Cooler, to LL Cool J























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Sales Tax Cometh

If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like it, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d better start yelling now If you look at American history, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure you could point to a time period and say that was the golden age of innovation and small business. Whatever that time period is, this ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it. Most of the reason this time period is so bad for small business can be summed up by the antithesis of innovation: regulation. To be honest, when I read anything that discusses regulation, my eyes roll into the back of my head. But the increase in regulation is a real problem. According to the Cato Institute, over the last three years, the number of economically significant regulations have risen by 75 percent. Additional rules favor big companies â&#x20AC;&#x201D; they have the resources to deal with them â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and shut out small business. As if that wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bad enough, last week Congress got serious about passing an Internet Sales Tax. From the consumer side â&#x20AC;&#x201D; yes, you have pay a sales tax items purchased over the Internet. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ugly enough, but take a look at the additional work that online retailers must do. An Internet Sales Tax would require online retailers to track the tax rates and special provisions in each of the roughly 10,000 counties. Then at the beginning of every month, each retailer would need to file a sales tax return in as many as 46 different states. And then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the audits. Now, if you have a crackerjack team of accountants like Amazon, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re probably in good shape. Otherwiseâ&#x20AC;Ś well, good luck! Votes on an Internet Sales Tax will be occurring the week of May 6. The measure has very strong support, so it looks like done deal. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want it, you better start yelling now. Glow in the Dark Sheep â&#x20AC;&#x201D; If I were in college today, I would probably major in genetic engineering. Yes, this field probably presents the greatest amount of potential to change lives. But thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the reason I would want to study genetics. I would like to discover the next trend in body art that would ultimately replace the tattoo. Take for instance the fluorescent sheep created by a team of researchers at the Animal Reproduction Institute of Uruguay. The team genetically modified the sheep to express a peptide known as green fluorescent protein (GFP). GFP is a protein originally isolated from jellyfish that glows with exposed to ultraviolet light. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s become commonplace in genetic research to help identify expressed molecules. This proof of concept experiment demonstrates that you can create glow-in-the-dark sheep that are normal in every other way. Now tell me that you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t met anyone who would be willing to pay money so that they can glow in the dark? Mark my wordâ&#x20AC;Ś the person who learns how to isolate the fluorescents to certain body parts will make billions. Old School â&#x20AC;&#x201D; My daughters came home last Friday with the wonderful news that there was only four weeks left of school. Their smiles made me think back to my elementary school days and the anticipation that came as the school year neared its end. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So, girls, when we were in school, we used to put the number of days left in the corner of the chalkboard. Do you still do that?â&#x20AC;? The look of amazement in their eyes made me wonder if I had stumbled upon some closely held school secret. Unfortunately for me, the source of their amazement was a love of history. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Daddy, did you really have chalkboards when were in school?â&#x20AC;? Until next time, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.





Consigning for a Cause

Children’s Hospital employees roll up their sleeves to help raise money for patient care

Given the size and prominence of the Children’s Hospital of Georgia, the 154-bed children’s hospital that’s part of the Georgia Regents University system, it’s easy to assume that the healthcare professionals there have absolutely everything they need. But while the nonprofit hospital is certainly a well-funded institution, a group of staff members are doing some oldfashioned DIY fundraising to help make the patients’ stays as pleasant and effective as possible. “Being at the bedside with the kids, we see that we don’t have enough crayons for the kids to play with or that we need more vein finders for the kids,” says Lisa Christie, one of the organizers of Consign for Kids, the community-wide consignment sale designed to raise money for the Children’s Hospital of Georgia. “Now, we can get them because we see exactly what they need.” Christie and a group of pediatric critical care

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physicians, neonatal and pediatric nurses and neonatal and pediatric respiratory therapists have been planning the sale since January. “Because we’re all parents, we’ve all been to other consignment sales around town, and there’s just such a market for parents to get good deals on clothes and stuff for kids,” Christie says. “So, we thought, ‘What better opportunity than to try to help parents recoup the money that they’ve spent on their kids — sell it, make some money back, but also make some money for a good cause.’” One hundred percent of the proceeds from the sale will go to the Children’s Hospital of Georgia. Crossbridge Baptist Church on Skinner Mill Road has given the group the use of the entire facility for the week leading up to the sale, which runs from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Friday, May 3, and from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, May 4. Proceeds from the sale are split 60/40, with 40 percent going to the Children’s Hospital. The $15 registration fee can be refunded for those volunteering for a fourhour block during the sale. Though this will be their first consignment sale, the same group put on last fall’s Monster Bash fundraiser, a Halloween-themed event that raised $12,000, most of

which went toward equipment. They plan for both the sale and the Monster Bash to be annual events, and Christie hopes the consignment sale proves profitable enough to make similar big-ticket purchases. “I think we’ll definitely be able to purchase equipment with this money, even if it’s a couple of IV pumps or a couple of extra things like that,” Christie says. “I think sometimes people in the community are under the impression that the Children’s Hospital gets a lot of money, but what they don’t understand is that Miracle Network money, say, can take a long time to come back.” And who knows better than the staff exactly what they need? For the consignment sale, they will be accepting everything from children’s clothes, toys and games to home furniture, accessories, shoes, purses — “You name it, we’re taking it.” Specific information, including registration information and pricing suggestions, are available at “Augusta has its share of consignment sales,” Christie says, “But I don’t know of any that are supporting children’s medicine.”



GROW ON TREES (Although some local tree services must beli be liliev evee it ddoe ev oess according oe acco ac cord co rdin rd ingg to tthe in heir he ir eest stim st imat im ates at ess!)) believe does their estimates!) AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989




Riding the Attack

Historic group to offer rides in helicopter icons at Thunder Over Augusta

This year’s Thunder Over Augusta military tribute, already one of the year’s most anticipated events, is going to be even more exciting than ever as the Army Aviation Heritage Foundation gives participants the opportunity to fly in a UH-1 “Huey” or an AH-1F Cobra attack helicopter. “It’s pretty unique,” says Rick Welch of the Army Aviation Heritage Foundation. “There aren’t many Cobras out there to do anything, much less giving rides. There are very few that are flyable.” Being a nonprofit and qualified to receive federal surplus property through the Federal Surplus Program, the Army Aviation Heritage Foundation is able to use authentic aircraft to educate the general public in a very hands-on manner. “It allows people that would never have the opportunity — people that would never be in the service of any type — to fly in a military helicopter,” Welch says. “It’s a great opportunity for the civilian population plus the veterans. Particularly the Vietnam veterans. It’s just great thing for them to reconnect.” Thunder Over Augusta will have one of the distinctive Cobra helicopters on static display, while another Cobra will be offering rides along with the


Huey. The Huey is perhaps the most iconic piece of equipment from the Vietnam War, something that was experienced by just about everyone who served. “We have probably just as many non-aviator types that come and touch it, see it and take their families with them,” Welch says. “We have mothers that lost kids in Vietnam, we have brothers and sisters and children — you name it — who come just to see it, but especially to ride in it, to kind of sit where Daddy sat or experience what either Mom or Dad experienced. That’s what brings it all home to us when we get out there at these events.” Welch, a Huey pilot, has been with the organization three years, though the group was formed in 1997. Based about 100 yards from the Atlanta Motor Speedway in Hampton, Georgia, the group participates in between 25 and 35 events every year, providing everything from purely static displays to all-out Vietnam reenactments. And given the sequestration cuts that have shut down the active military demonstration teams, Welch and his companions are getting a lot more calls these days. Rides in the Huey, which last between eight and 10 minutes, run $60 a person, while the Cobra rides come in two varieties — a seven- to eight-minute ride for $275 or a 13-15-minute ride for $475.

Why the difference? Basically, the Huey can carry 10 at a time, where flying in a Cobra is a singular experience. “It’s definitely a unique opportunity in more ways than one,” Welch says. “It’s a different helicopter. It’s more maneuverable, and while we don’t go out there and do crazy stuff with customers, the purpose of what we do is to show them what the capabilities of the aircraft are in an attack helicopter operation.” If you’ve ever seen their air show performance, you know what that means. “The other things that makes it different — since you’ve got two people, the passenger’s got a headset on and he’s talking to the pilot,” Welch says. “The pilot’s basically narrating everything he’s doing. You don’t have that opportunity in the Huey.” Thunder Over Augusta is a free event honoring the nation’s armed services. First held along the river the Savannah River in downtown Augusta, the all-American extravaganza, founded by Donnie Thompson, Andy Jones and the late Dale Phelon, moved to Evans Towne Center Park last year. As part of our coverage of community events, the Spirit will be running a series of stories leading up to the May 18 show.








Creative Space

Artspace seeking to help artists find affordable work-live environments

“Arts unite people,” Augusta Mayor Deke Copenhaver told a standingroom only crowd at Old Richmond Academy last week. This just after the commission voted an unheard of unanimous 10-0 in support of Augusta’s Mills and Cultural Campuses. One proposed component, and the reason for the large crowd, is Artspace. Artspace Project Manager Joe Butler came to Augusta a year ago, meeting with Mayor Copenhaver and Matthew Kwatinetz, executive director of the Augusta Regional Collaboration Project (ARC), and immediately knew it was an appropriate location for the project. Upon arrival, he wandered the streets of downtown, sensing a community desire for something bigger. Last week, he unveiled their plans. Finding affordable housing and creative space for working can be challenging for artists. Through federal affordable housing monies, historic preservation funds and private donations, Artscape provides income-based housing and workspaces for qualifying artists. They employ a mix of new construction and historic renovation, filling vacant properties. When the project is completed, it’s fully supported by tenant rents, so there’s no need for fundraising efforts or monetary support from the city. Artscape runs a network of 32 buildings across the country, boasting successes in cities such as Seattle, New York and New Orleans, which includes more than 1,100 work-live units and over one million square feet of multi-use space. Mayor Copenhaver would like to see Augusta become a “destination at all levels, including a destination for artists,” and Artspace is how he and the commission see that happening. As someone who grew up writing, painting and experiencing the arts on many other levels, he knows the benefit of a strongly supported arts community. ARC, a nonprofit made possible by a leadership gift that was matched by local philanthropists and Starbucks, and the City of Augusta are putting forth a survey which is crucial for determining the exact needs of the community. Although they will await the survey results before any real plans are made, it’s expected that the Artspace complex will have around 40 housing units and 5,000-10,000 square feet of non-residential space for artists and arts organizations to meet and produce or exhibit art. Artists aren’t the only ones asked to take the survey. Anyone with an interest in supporting the arts and Augusta’s artists should participate. It’s a brief survey which takes about 15 minutes, and it can be found at The link expires on June 19, 2013. More information on Artspace’s current projects is available at





Licensed? Bonded? Insured?

For homeowners, those questions aren’t easily answered, though the answers can make all the difference

Phae Howard, the executive director of the National Center for the Prevention of Home Improvement Fraud, doesn’t mince words when it comes to the perils of home repair. “Any contractor you deal with that walks in that door is a potential problem,” she says. “So the more you educate yourself prior to dealing with that person, the better you position yourself.” Consumer education is especially important in the spring, when people start to see cracks in their driveways and little things they want to have done around the house, and it’s no secret that failing to research a contractor, handyman, painter or landscaper — or anyone you allow on your property to fix or repair — has serious consequences. But according to Howard, whose Atlanta-based nonprofit coaches homeowners so they don’t become victims of home improvement fraud, those consequences are getting larger and harder to prevent. “I’ve been told by various sources that it’s estimated to be a $70 billion a year problem,” she says. “We know mayors, wealth managers, attorneys, doctors and police officers who have been victimized, so everybody’s at risk.” That said, certain groups are at greater risk, including seniors, who are often more trusting and frequently don’t report being taken advantage of out of embarrassment and a fear that friends and family will assume they can no longer take care of themselves. Also, first-time homebuyers who have never dealt with contractors and don’t know the process are particularly vulnerable to scams, as are storm and disaster victims and the physically impaired. “A contractor is going to show you his card or he’s 2MAY2013

going to show you his insurance information, but you need to verify everything and don’t assume that the guy standing in your yard is the guy he says he is,” Howard says. “Ask to see his license. Take a picture of him and take a picture of his truck. Believe you me — if he sees you doing that and he’s planning on scamming you, chances are he’s going to take off.” With so many people working in the home improvement industry, many of whom are not legitimate, simply asking for a license and proof of insurance is no longer enough, since often the documentation you’re presented is not valid. Maybe the best illustration of just how prevalent these scams are — and how protective the scammers are of their livelihood — is the fact that no one we talked to was willing to go on record for fear of retribution. One in particular, Tom, who owns a tree service, was once quoted in a story about problems in the industry and the next day he had thousands of dollars worth of damage to his equipment. All report a certain savagery directed at homeowners. “There is a lot at stake for a lot of people,” Tom says. According to Frank, who also runs a tree service, one of the most common lies told by disreputable companies is that they are bonded and insured. Though the documentation they present looks official and often is, official doesn’t mean up to date, and out of date means the homeowner is out of luck if something happens. “You can go in and buy a liability policy and make a down payment on it and you still have the paper,” he says. “And the paper shows the correct dates and stuff.” Think about your own automobile insurance. Just because the card you’re carrying hasn’t expired doesn’t mean your insurance is up to date, though Frank says the insurance companies are becoming proactive when it comes to his bigger jobs because of the potential risks

of allowing uninsured workers on your property. “On my commercial accounts, they will reissue the binder to them every year,” he says. “And, if your insurance was to get canceled, they would also send all your commercial accounts a cancellation saying, ‘He doesn’t have insurance with us anymore.’” For homeowners, however, it’s not so easy, and because so many don’t know what they should do, the opportunities for scams are high. “Back in the day, we used to say get three references and check with the Better Business Bureau,” Howard says. “Well, you’ve got to do that and so much more now because the scams are incredible. It’s amazing how they pull these things off.” Certainly, the temptation for easy money drives corruption, but so too does the high cost of doing business properly. Being properly licensed, bonded and insured isn’t cheap, and the more unscrupulous contractors are out there, the more of a disadvantage the legitimate operators suffer. “Workman’s comp for tree work used to be $18,” Frank says. “Now it’s $55 per $100 labor, and that’s if you haven’t made any claims.” That’s $550 for every $1,000 labor, and Frank says it’s not uncommon for tree companies to have $3,000 in labor every single week. Those costs are passed on to the consumer, which of course makes it nearly impossible to compete with the disreputable companies on price, and during difficult economic times, price is often the main factor for many homeowners, especially in low wealth communities. “No matter how many times you tell them the lowest bidder is not the best bidder, they’re going to go with the lowest bidder because that’s all they can afford,” Howard says. “So it’s a very big problem.” It’s a problem that can exact an almost unimaginable cost on homeowners. Tom, who has been working in the tree service AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989



business for a number of years as well, relates a case where a homeowner had been shown false insurance papers, then held financially responsible when an accident occurred on his property. The homeowner sued the contractor for misrepresenting himself. The judge, however, only asked the homeowner if he had invited him on the property, and when he answered yes, he dismissed the case. According to Rob Sherman, Richmond County’s development manager, the complexity of the licensing requirements further muddies the water for homeowners. Certain occupations require certain documentation, and the local agency isn’t always in possession of what you might think it is. “A permit is not needed for tree service,” Sherman says. “For landscaping at a commercial site where they’re moving ground around, they would have to have an approved site plan, but not a permit. So they would have to go through Planning and Development and have a site plan approved.” Wade, a contractor with 20 years experience in commercial contracting, says many contractors take advantage of

Confused yet? According to Sherman, an addition to your house would require a permit, but somebody coming in and putting up scaffolding to paint your house would not. However, a painter is considered a handyman or specialty contractor and required to have a surety bond, which covers code violations and penalties, if he’s doing any kind of incidental repairs along with the painting. “A surety bond says the work that you do that has to comply with codes will be done in compliance with those codes,” Sherman says. “In the event that it’s not and you refuse to correct the code violations, then the owner can get estimates from other contractors to correct those violations and can file a claim against the bond for that amount.” That’s far different than a performance bond, which protects the homeowner against an uncompleted project. Even so, there are frightening gaps in coverage for those who haven’t done their homework. “With a surety bond, if a guy comes in and takes off your roof and leaves — we’ve had it where the bond company said that it wasn’t a code violation

“A lot of the pickup truck guys — they would prefer to get cash,” Wade says. “If you’re paying your guys under the table, then they don’t have to pay workman’s comp, which gives them a competitive advantage, but it also puts their customers at risk, because if someone gets hurt and decides to sue, they’ll sue the homeowner.” All the contractors we talked to admit that certain segments of the construction/ repair industry struggle with employee issues regarding drugs and alcohol. Many times, workplace accidents will result in the injured worker fleeing rather than risk a positive urine test. From a business perspective, all of these cut corners can price the reputable contractors out of business. “There’s a huge advantage these guys have,” Wade says. He tells the story of a legitimate brick mason he’s used for 20 years. He’s always had insurance and done things the right way, and he’s charging $500 per 1,000 bricks laid, while others are doing it for $250 per 1,000. “It’s been a struggle for us, because on bid day, I have to face the same thing,” Wade says. “I have to decide am I going

they may consider dropping you.” The Governor’s Office of Consumer Protection recommends contacting local trade organizations like the Home Builders Association of Georgia to help find contractors and then the Better Business Bureau to check those contractors for complaints. State-issued licenses can be checked at the Secretary of State’s website,, though certain specialty occupations — painters, drywall contractors and roofers, for example — are not licensed by the state… though, of course, they can advertise themselves as such because of the business license. Other advice involves common sense, though sometimes common sense is difficult to employ against slick operators. That list of warning signs includes unsolicited work, an unlisted business, introductory or temporary offers, an insistence that you pay in full before the work is completed or that you pay in cash. “The contractor may say ‘I’m going to do your house and I’ll give you a steep discount if you act as a reference for your neighbors,’” Howard says. “If you do that and he takes your neighbor’s

the ambiguity that goes along with the terms licensed, bonded and insured. “A lot of these guys that run around in pickup trucks — it sounds great to say they’re licensed, but what they’ve got is a business license same as a hairdresser or a nail salon,” he says. Tree removal does require a business license, but that only means the business is paying an occupation tax the same as any other business. “As far as the requirement that they have bonding and insurance, there is none as far as the city goes for that type of work. It’s the property owner’s responsibility to ask for it.” That may be true for tree removal, yet part of the permitting for construction requires that a company have a surety bond and liability insurance, though not all home projects require a permit.

[not to have a roof], it was a lack of performance,” Sherman says. “But had he put the roof on, but not done it according to code, that would have raised an issue.” Insurance adds a significant burden to reputable contractors, which can be eliminated by those who simply don’t pay. “Usually, the more dangerous your work, the higher your limit should be,” Wade says. “If a guy’s cutting down 60-foot oak trees, he’s got the potential to do a lot of damage if he drops one on a house out in West Lake. If he has minimum liability, it may not cover doing damage to a $2 million house.” One of the easiest places for a contractor to cut corners is the workman’s compensation insurance Frank was talking about earlier.

to get this job if I use the legit guy who’s more expensive. I don’t want to use the illegitimate guy, but there’s a lot of pressure on a lot of legitimate people to go deep into the grey zone so that they can keep food coming across the table.” As far as homeowner protection, Howard advises homeowners contemplating any kind of project to contact their own insurance agent. “You really need to involve your insurance agent,” she says. “He’s an expert in insurance and he’s licensed in insurance, so he can explain things to you and advise you on your best position when dealing with contractors. Certainly, if the contractor is doing something that may be fraudulent, you may not even be aware that he’s doing it, but the person who pays the price for that is you, because it’s your policy and

deposit and runs off with it — now, your neighbors are looking at you like you were involved.” She says to also beware of contactors who tell you they’ll fill out your paperwork for you or pay your deductible or write it into the cost. And anyone operating out of a truck who pulls up to your curb offering to fix a problem you didn’t even realize you had is probably bad news. “There are a lot of excellent, reputable, legitimate contractors out there, and we applaud them all the time,” Howard says. “But homeowners need to have an understanding of how to protect themselves not only from fraud, but to cut down on the frequent miscommunication between them and the legitimate contractors that can be problematic as well.”







Jean Stafford (pictured here) is one of the guest potters who will be included in the Heritage Trail Pottery Tour and Sale Tour 2013, which begins Friday, May, 3, from 5:30-7:30 p.m. with an opening exhibit reception at the Museum in Greenwood. Studios including Bell House Pottery, pARTners in Clay, PK Pottery, Turtle Rock Pottery and Old Edgefield Pottery will be open Saturday, May 4, from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday, May 5, from noon-5 p.m. and will feature raku firings, kiln openings, glaze demonstrations, live music and more. A $5 donation will give participants a chance to win pottery pieces and door prizes will be given away throughout the weekend. Call 706-5645376 or visit heritagetrailpotterytoursale.



Art Now Artist Talk: Jonathan Brilliant will be held at the Morris Museum, 6 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Music and cocktails in the galleries afterward. Call 706-724-7501 or visit Heritage Trail Pottery Tour and Sale Tour 2013 begins Friday, May, 3, from 5:30-7:30 p.m. with an opening exhibit reception at the Museum in Greenwood. Studios will be open Saturday, May 4, from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday, May 5, from noon-5 p.m. and feature raku firings, kiln openings, glaze demonstrations, live music and more. A $5 donation will give participants a chance to win pottery pieces and door prizes will be given away throughout the weekend. Call 706-564-5376 or visit heritagetrailpotterytoursale. Call for entries for A Sense of Place national juried fine arts competition is announced by the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art, through May 31. Eligible media are as follows: painting, drawing, mixed media, printmaking, photography, ceramics and sculpture. Call 706-722-5495 or visit


Student artwork from North Augusta schools will show May 2-17 at the Arts and Heritage Center. Free public reception and awards ceremony will be held Friday, May 3. Monetary awards for Best in Show, and First through Third Place in elementary, middle and high school divisions. Call 803-4414380 or visit Marianna Williams Exhibit Opening is at Sacred Heart Cultural Center from 5-7 p.m., Thursday, May 9. Exhibit shows through June 28. Call 706-8264700 or visit The Drawings of Rebecca Clark will be on exhibit at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through May 17. Her subject matter is the interconnected nature of the insects, animals and plants of her environment. Members free; non-members $5. Call 706-722-5495 or visit “Restoration,” an exhibit of work by GRU adjunct instructor Mahera Khaleque, will be on display through May 17 at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Members, free; non-members, $5. Call 706-722-5495 or visit First Lady Ellen Axson Wilson and Her Circle exhibit will be shown at the Morris Museum until May 5. Call 706-724-7501 or visit “Romantic Spirits” exhibit, featuring paintings of the South from the 2MAY2013


Johnson collection, will be on display through May 26. Call 706-828-3825 or visit

Augusta Canal Moonlight Music Cruises will board at the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center, at 7 p.m., Fridays, through June. Talented performers and musical groups will entertain in the spring and fall. Visit

Georgia Regents University Senior Exit Exhibition will be held at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through May 29. Features the work of BFA candidates Nina Daniels and Sarah Brown. Call 706-722-5495 or visit



Singer-songwriter Randall Bramblett performs Thursday, May 2, at 7 p.m. at the Thomson Depot as part of the New Harmonies: Celebrating American Roots Music series. Free. Call 706-597-1000. Violinist Jason Pooler will play with Columbia County Orchestra at the Jabez Hardin Theatre in Evans at 6 p.m., Friday, May 3. Free admission; donations accepted. Visit Masterworks VII concert, a production of the Columbia County Orchestra, will take place at the Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center in Evans, 6 p.m., Friday, May 3. Free. Donations accepted. Call 706-755-5849 or visit

“Parallels” will be performed by Dance Augusta at the Imperial Theatre, 7 p.m., Friday, May 3. $25-$30. Discounts for seniors, military and children. Call 706-722-8341 or visit


“Willy Wonka Jr.” musical will be performed by the Jessye Norman School, 7 p.m., Thursday and Friday, May 2-3, and 3 p.m., Saturday, May 4. Adults, $7-$10; kids, $5. Visit eXtreme Theatre Games by Schrodinger’s Cat will be at Le Chat Noir, 8 p.m., Friday, May 3. Advance $8, door $10. Call 706-722-3322 or visit “The Fox on the Fairway” will be performed by Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre, Friday and Saturday, May 3-4. $30-$45. Call 706-791-4389 or 706-793-8552.

Sacred harp singing and covered dish event will be held at Augusta OldLine Primitive Baptist Church in Martinez, 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Saturday, May 4. Bring a covered dish for noon lunch. Call 706-868-5262 or 706-7986410 or visit

“Bambino,” a one-act baseball opera about the Curse of the Bambino penned by USCA music professor Dr. Richard Maltz, will be performed at the Etherredge Center 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and 3 p.m. Sunday, May 3-5. General admission $15; seniors and military $10; students $5. Call 803-641-3305.

A Day in the Country music festival will be held at the Augusta Riverfront Marina, Sunday, May 5, and features performances from Florida Georgia Line, Casey James, Chris Janson, The Lacs, Carey Murdock and Jaycie Ward. Gates open at 11 a.m. and music is from noon-7 p.m. $19, advance; $25, day of show; $75, the Cafe. Visit

“The Nerd,” a production of the Aiken Community Playhouse, will be performed at the URS Center for the Performing Arts, 8 p.m., Saturday, May 4, 10 and 11 and 3 p.m., Sunday, May 5. $7-$20. Call 803-648-1438 or visit

Spring Fling at Banksia will be performed by the Orchestra of the Midlands under the direction of Maestro Donald Portnoy, on the lawn at Banksia, home of the Aiken County Historical Museum, 4 p.m., Sunday, May 5. Box lunches $10. Must be ordered in advance. Call 803-643-0800 or 803-643-4774.


Candlelight Jazz will be held at Riverwalk Augusta, 8 p.m., May 5. GRU Conservatory Jazz Band. $6, 13 and older. Bring seating and picnic. Visit

“Mississippi” (1935), a musical comedy starring W.C. Fields and Bing Crosby, will be shown at the Morris Museum as part of their Films on Friday series, noon, Friday, May 3. Afterward, there will be a discussion. Free. Participants are invited to bring a lunch. Call 706-724-7501 or visit

Little Big Town will play at the Bell Auditorium, 7:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 8. Call 706-722-7545 or visit

“Becoming Jane” (PG-13) will be shown at the Aiken Library, 6:45-8:45

“Hope Springs” will show at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta, 7-8:40 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Bring your own refreshments. Call 803-2795757 or visit




p.m., Thursday, May 9. Call 803-642-2020 or visit “On a Clear Day” will be shown at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta, 7-9 p.m., Thursday, May 9. Call 803-279-5757 or visit

Special Events

First Thursday at Midtown Market, featuring shopping, snacks, drinks, sales and more, takes place 5-8 p.m. Thursday, May 2, at the shops on Kings Way. Call 706733-1788.

“All Natural? Really?” is the topic of the Did You Know? series installment to be held at the Headquarters Library, 11:30 a.m.-12:30, Wednesday, May 8. Free. Registration required. Call 706-821-2600.

Consign for Kids sale to benefit the Children’s Hospital of Georgia is Friday, May 3, from 10 a.m.-9 p.m. and Saturday, May 4, from 8 a.m.-4 p.m. at Crossbridge Baptist Church on Skinner Mill Road. Craft and other vendors will also be set up outside the sale. Call 706231-0431 or visit

Apps for Small Business Chamber Before Hours networking event will be held at the Columbia County Chamber Office, 7:30 a.m.-8 a.m., Wednesday, May 8. Learn how to make an app for your business. Members free; non-members $10. RSVP requested. Call 706651-0018 or visit

First Friday will be held in downtown Augusta, 5-9 p.m., Friday, May 3. Call 706-826-4702 or visit

Evans Towne Farmers Market is held on the grounds of the Columbia County Public Library each Thursday through June from 4:30-7 p.m. All meats, eggs, dairy and produce will be from local and sustainable farms. There will also be cooking demos and education, local artisans with handcrafted goods, live music, local food vendors and weekly events. Visit

Wine Tasting will be held at Wine World in North Augusta, 5-8 p.m., Friday, May 3. $5. Six featured wines: three whites, three reds. Call 803-279-9522 or visit MCG State of the College Address will be given by Dr. Peter F. Buckley in the Nancy and Lansing B. Lee, Jr. Auditorium, Friday, May 3. Visit Downtown Augusta Loft Tours will take place 6-9 p.m., Friday and noon-5 p.m., Saturday, May 3-4. $15 advance; $20 same-day. Call 706-724-0436 or visit Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Centennial Gala will be held at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion, 7:30 p.m.midnight, Friday, May 3. Formal attire. Parade and torch ceremony will be held 10 a.m., Saturday, May 4. $35. Call 615-507-9711 or 706-724-3576, or visit Kids’ Workshop will be held at Home Depot for kids age 5-12, 9 a.m.-noon, Saturday, May 4. Hands-on workshops teach kids do-it-yourself skills and tool safety by working with them to complete a craft, which the kids get to keep. Free. Registration required. Call 706-650-7662 (Augusta) or 706-854-7832 (Evans). Daschund Rescue Yard Sale and Pet Food Drive will be held at the Health Center Credit Union in Evans, 8 a.m.-1 p.m., Saturday, May 4. Call 706-863-2067 or visit for info. Plant swap and sale will be held at Pendleton King Park, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., Saturday, May 4. Benefits the park. Free admission. Anyone wishing to donate plants may bring them to the Franke Pavilion between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m., Friday, May 3. Email, call 706-228-3559 or visit Derby Day benefit for Augusta Training Shop will be held at Legends Club, 4-8 p.m., Saturday, May 4. Watch the Kentucky Derby live, eat Southern cuisine and drink mint juleps. $50 advance, $65 at the gate. Includes food and beverages. Call 706-738-1358 or visit

Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:30-6:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit Saturday Market at the River is each Saturday through Nov. 23 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead downtown and features vendors, food, drinks, entertainment and a group run that begins at 8 a.m. Visit


Mobile Mammography Screenings will be held 8 a.m.-3 p.m. the following dates and locations: Lincoln County Health Dept., Thursday, May 2; Christ Community Health Services, Friday, May 3; Dillard’s, Aiken, Monday, May 6; Belk’s, North Augusta, Tuesday, May 7; Pepperidge Farm, Wednesday, May 8; Shaw Industry, Thursday, May 9. Free through Medicare. Appointment required. Call 706-774-4149 or toll-free 866-774-4141. Center for Women Tour will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 7-8 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Intended for both partners. Get acquainted with the center and have your questions labor and delivery questions answered. Call 706-651-2229 or visit Cribs for Kids class will be held at the Safe Kids Greater Augusta office, Thursday, May 2, and 5:45-8 p.m., Friday, May 3. Teaches caregivers how to provide a safe sleep environment by showing what dangers to watch out for. Families who can demonstrate a financial need (Medicare, Peachcare or WICC) will receive a portable crib, fitted sheet, sleep sac and a pacifier for a fee of $10 per registered child. Registration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit Parkinson’s Disease Seminar will be held at the Doubletree Hotel by the GRU movement disorders program, 8:30 a.m.-noon, Friday, May 3. Registration required. Email or call 706-721-4895.

Archaeology Day Augusta will be presented by the Augusta Museum of History at the Ezekiel Harris House, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., May 4. Free. 706-722-8454, 706-5645868, 706-210-0776 or visit

Child Safety Seat Inspections will be presented by Safe Kids Greater Augusta and the Children’s Hospital of Georgia, Friday, May 3. Free. Appointment required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit

Pastor Anthony Booker’s anniversary will be celebrated at Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church, 2:30 p.m., Sunday, May 5. Call 706-793-7399 or 706-793-2235.

Weekend Childbirth Education class will meet in the University Hospital Education Center, 6:30-9:30 p.m., Friday, May 3 and 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Saturday, May 4. Registration required. Free. Call 706-774-2825 or visit

Jernigan Memorial Golf Tournament will be presented by University Hospital at Woodside Country Club in Aiken, May 6. Day-long event begins at 9:15 a.m. Registration required. Call 706-667-0030 or visit 22 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Baseball great Chipper Jones will be the special guest speaker for the annual G.A.M.E.S. Sports Awards Banquet at Augusta Marriott Convention Center, 7 p.m., Tuesday, May 7. Check in and social hour begins at 6 p.m. Augusta Sports Council members $40; nonmembers $50. Tables available at $450 and $500. Reservations required. Call 706-722-8326.

Healthy Lifestyle Expo will take place at the USCA Convocation Center Saturday, May 4. Visit Lamaze Childbirth Education will be offered at Trinity 2MAY2013


Camp Counselor CPR and First Aid Training will be held at the Augusta Jewish Community Center, after 3 p.m., Sunday, May 5. Call 706-228-3636 or visit Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Class will be held in the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute, 6 p.m., Monday, May 6. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-5548 or visit Childbirth Education 101 will be held at Trinity Hospital, 6-8:30 p.m., Tuesday, May 7. Registration required. Call 706-481-7727 or visit Lymphedema Education Class will be held at the University Hospital Breast Health Center at noon, Tuesday, May 7. Visit Total Joint Replacement Class will be held at the University Hospital, 1-3 p.m., Tuesday, May 7. Call 706774-2760 or visit Fresh Start Smoking Cessation Classes are held at University Hospital in four-week sessions, 6-7 p.m. Next sessions are May 7, 14, 21 and 28. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-8094 or visit Child Safety Seat Inspections will be offered at the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office Substation in Evans by appointment, Wednesday, May 8. Free. Call 706-5413970 or visit Your BIRTHday Party OB Tour will be offered at Trinity Hospital, noon-1:30, Monday, May 8. Call 706-4817727 or visit Car Seat Class will be offered at the Safe Kids Office, 5:45-8 p.m., Thursday, May 9. $10. Financial assistance is available to Medicaid and Peach Care eligible families. Registration required. Call 706-7217606 or visit Baby 101 will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 7-9:30 p.m., Thursday, May 9. This class will discuss infant development and offer guidance on care for their new bundle of joy. Topics include normal newborn appearance and behavior, bathing, crying, diapering, swaddling and feeding. Registration required. Call 706651-2229 or visit Women’s Center Tour at University Hospital will be held 7-9:30 p.m., Thursday, May 9. Free. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit Powerful Tools for Caregivers class will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 2-3:30 p.m., Thursdays, through May 23. Provides tools for caregivers to assist and support an elderly or chronically ill loved one. For more information, call 706-651-2490 or visit Yoga Class is offered by the Kroc Center every Saturday at The Augusta Market downtown, 10-11 a.m. Free. Bring your own mat. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & VascularInstitute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-7743278 or visit


Alzheimer’s Support Group will be held at the Kroc Center 10 a.m., Thursday, May 2. Call 706-731-9060 or visit Weight Loss Support Group, for anyone suffering ailments due to obesity, will meet in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room at Trinity Hospital, 7 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Call 706-481-7298 or visit Parents Healing Together support group will meet 2MAY2013

in the University Hospital Dining Room 2, to provide support for parents, families and friends who have lost infants through miscarriage, death, ectopic pregnancy or stillbirth. Meets 7 p.m., Monday, May 6. Call 706774-2751 or visit

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit or visit

Dream Catchers brain injury and disability support group will meet at Walton Options for Independent Living in North Augusta, 6-7 p.m., Monday, May 6. The group’s mission is to support and encourage people with disabilities to live as independently as possible. No registration required. Call 803-279-9611 or visit

Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331.

Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit

Look Good, Feel Better Workshop for female cancer patients will be held at Doctors Hospital, 3-5 p.m., Monday, May 6. Registration required. Call 706-6514343 or visit Pink Ribbonettes breast cancer support group will meet at Millbrook Baptist Church, 10:30 a.m.-noon, Tuesday, May 7. Registration required. Call 803-6481911 or 803-644-3902. Huntington’s Disease Support Group will meet at the GRU Movement Disorders Clinic Conference Room, 6:30-8 p.m., Tuesday, May 7. Call 706-721-2798 or 706-231-2775, or visit A-Team Autism Spectrum Disorder Support and Resource Group will meet at the Children’s Hospital of Georgia Family Resource Library, 6-7 p.m., Tuesday, May 7. Call 706-721-5160 or visit Look Good...Feel Better Cancer Support Group for female cancer patients will meet at the GRU Cancer Center, 1:303:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 8. Free. Registration required. Call 706-721-0466 or visit Breast Cancer Support Group will meet at the GRU Cancer Center, 12:30-2 p.m., Thursday, May 9. Call 706-721-4109 or visit Living Well With Diabetes Adult Support Group will meet in the University Hospital Cafeteria, 5 p.m., Thursday, May 9. Members learn how to eat healthy while dining out. Call 706-868-3241 or visit Cancer Survivor Support Group will meet at Doctors Hospital, Augusta Oncology Associates, 6-7 p.m., Thursday, May 9. This is a support group for people with all different types of cancer and their family members. Call 706-651-2283 or visit Overeaters Anonymous meets at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church, 7:30 p.m., Tuesdays and at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. Call 907-854-1509. AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit


Hospital 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m., Saturday, May 4. Registration required. Bring two pillows. Call 706-4817727 or visit

Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636. Alcoholics Anonymous open discussion meeting takes place every Sunday and Wednesday, 7:15 p.m. at Aurora Pavilion in Aiken. Call 806-641-5000 or visit hospital-services/behavioral-health-services. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. Free. Pre-registration requested. Call 706-774-5864 or visit


Advanced Sign Language Classes will be held at University Hospital, 7-8:30 p.m., Thursdays, through May 30. $40 per person, per class; $40 for textbook. Call 706-774-8559 or visit Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by GRU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 6- 7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to public. Visit Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office@

Have you Aerated your yard?

Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit

Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta aboard the Lady Libby boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends, including the legend of the famous Haunted Pillar. $12, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Call 706722-8454 or visit Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.


The Lobster Races will be held in Historic Downtown Aiken, Friday, May 3. Includes music and lots of great food. Call 803-649-9500 or visit Swamp Saturday will be held at Phinizy Swamp, 9 a.m., Saturday, May 4. Call 706-828-2109, email, or visit Trot to Clot Walk and Run 5K fundraiser will be held Saturday, May 4. Advance registration $25. Familyoriented: walk at your own pace. They are also in need of volunteers. Call 770-518-8272 or visit Skeet shooting event at Pinetucky Skeet and Trap Gun Club, 9 a.m., Saturday, May 4. Bring your 12- or 20-gauge shotgun or rent one. Email william.m.medlin. Shine Your Light 5K Run/Walk will be held by West Town Community Church, Saturday, May 4, to raise money to go to a community in Baja, Mexico to install a water system and build a playground. Call 706-524-1090 or 864-302-4103, email westtown2 at, or visit or events/589227104423199. Triple 8 Group Run meets at 8th and Reynolds, 8 a.m., every Saturday through Oct. 26. Choose your distance: 3, 6 or 8 miles. Open to everyone. Visit Adult swim lessons are offered at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for ages 13 and up. Days and times vary by branch. Members $55 per month; nonmembers $85 per month. Registration required. Visit

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Olympic-style Tae Kwon Do, taught by Master Michael L. Weintraub, is each Tuesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit Tae Kwon Do is offered at the Wilson Family Y, Family Y of Augusta South and Family Y of North Augusta. Registration required. Visit Kickball League registration is available for a new adult co-ed league at Riverview Park. Call 941-716-3163 or visit Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706- 556-0594 or visit Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit The Augusta Furies Women’s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email or visit The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-8147514 or visit Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session. Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722- 8878.


“Leap Into Landscapes,” part of the What’s in the Box? activity series, will be held at the Morris Museum, 10-11 a.m., Thursday, May 2. View the exhibit, “First Lady Ellen Axson Wilson and Her Circle” and then create a landscape with help from the surprise in the box. Members free; non-members $4. Registration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit Mystery Book Talk First Friday Book Club for grades 4-6 will meet at Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta, 4-5 p.m., Friday, May 3. Refreshments will be served. Call 803-279-5757 or visit Application deadline for G.A.N.G. Academy summer session at Spirit Creek Baptist Church for grades K-11 is May 3. Classes take place 8 a.m.-5 p.m., June 3-July 26. $50. Call 706-951-2280. Relay for Life will be held at the Lady Antebellum Pavilion in Evans Towne Center Park, 7 p.m., Friday, May 3. Call 706-650-5005 or visit You’re a Big Girl Now will be offered at Doctors Hospital, Saturday, May 4. This is a class for girls ages 9-12, along with their mothers. Information on puberty and adolescence is discussed, including subjects such as emotions, acne, menstruation and normal body changes. Girls will discuss ways to survive these natural changes. Call 706-651-4343 or visit The Art of Clowning Around will be offered at the Morris Museum as part of their Artrageous! Family Sunday, 2-4 p.m., Sunday, May 5. There will be magic and balloon art from Pammy the Clown. Free. Call 706724-7501 or visit Nature Clubs: Spring Sessions are being offered at Reed Creek Park. Session for homeschoolers 6-8 years old, 1-2:30, Tuesday, May 7. Session for homeschoolers 9-11 years old, 1-2:30, Thursday, May 9. After school grades K-2, 4:30-6:30 p.m., Thursday, May 9. Indoor and outdoor activities. $25/ child. Registration required. Call 706-210-4027 or visit Lego Club for grades K-5 will meet at Aiken Library, 4-5 p.m., Thursday, May 9. Legos will be supplied. Call 803-642-2020 or visit Watson-Brown Foundation Junior Board needs members. Looking for high-school students to spend one evening a month learning about historic preservation, grants and philanthropy. Call 706595-7777, email mzupan at or visit DuPont Planetarium shows for Saturdays in May are “In My Backyard” at 8 p.m. and “More Than Meets the Eye” at 9 p.m. Weather permitting, the observatory, housing the Bechtel Telescope, will be available for viewing after each show. General admission $4.50; seniors $3.50; 4K-12 $2.50; valid college or military I.D. gets you a 50-percent discount; USCA faculty, staff and students $1. Kids under 4 not permitted in public viewings. Reservations encouraged. Call 803-641-3654. Drop and Shop is offered at the North Augusta Family Y, 9 a.m.-noon, Monday through Friday. Bring kids 8 weeks to 12 years old while you have a morning to shop. Free. Visit Georgia Connections Academy, a free virtual public charter school has spots for 1,000 K-12 students in Georgia. Call 800-382-6010 or visit

BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $50 a month. Preregistration required. Visit

Georgia Regents Health System is taking applications for the summer Volunteen Program. High school students between 15 and 18 years of age are eligible to apply for this six-week program that provides an educational, hands-on volunteer experience in the academic health center environment. Call 706-7213596 or visit


Tae Kwon Do is offered for all skill levels age 5 and 2MAY2013


up at the Family Y of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Registration required. Visit Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit

Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit

Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit

Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642-7631 or visit

Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit

Drop and Shop is offered Monday-Friday at The Family Y of Augusta South for kids age 8 weeks-4 years, 8:30 a.m.-noon. Members, $5 a child per day; nonmembers, $7 a child per day. Also offered at North Augusta branch, 9 a.m.-noon. Members, $9 a day; non-members, $15 a day. Visit Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday- Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit Mother’s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for non- members. Register at any Family Y or visit Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit taichi.html. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706- 556-9795 or visit 2MAY2013

Dance Augusta grows into the full-length “Parallels”

Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit

Creative Arts offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 5-12 years. Members, $35 per month; nonmembers, $55 per month. Visit

Mother’s Morning Out is offered at the Family Y of North Augusta for ages 2-4 years, 9 a.m.-noon, either Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday. Mothers enjoy a relaxing morning twice a week while kids learn. Members, $70 a month; non-members, $90 a month. Registration required. Visit

Graduating Class


Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05- 10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736- 6244 or visit Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803613-0484. Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5- 8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854- 0149 or visit Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members, $25 a month; non-members, $35 a month. Visit Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit or email For Girl Scouts, email For Daisy/ Brownie Troop, email Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-733-9491.

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Dance Augusta has come a long way since its first season in 2006. Since then it has been growing and evolving and continues to provide the community with dance performances that range from classical ballet to whimsical, contemporary numbers. Peter Powlus, one of the choreographers with Dance Augusta, spoke about the significance of the company’s upcoming concert, “Parallels.” “I think it is an important step forward for the company,” Powlus explained, “because we have not really been doing main stage, big theater productions for the past several years because the company has been on the less mature side, and now they’re reaching a degree of maturity that the directors feel that they can sustain a main stage production. They have the technical chops and maturity to sustain a full evening in the theater.” “Parallels” is comprised of six works that are contemporary and abstract and that feature 20 dancers. The performance also showcases two premiere pieces, one by Caitlin McCormack and one by Powlus, and choreography by Amanda Hulen, who is a guest performer from the Louisville Ballet. McCormack has trained with Dance Augusta since she was a child. She has recently returned after graduating with dance degree from the University of South Carolina in Columbia. She has two pieces featured in “Parallels” and, according to Powlus, she is very gifted and shows great promise as a young choreographer. “One of the pieces is entitled ‘Woodwork’ and it is a piece I worked on while I was a student at University of South Carolina,” said McCormack. “This was the second piece I ever choreographed. It has 13 women in it, and it explores the relationship between mothers and daughters, particularly in Southern women.” McCormack’s new piece that will premiere Friday is titled “Dark Passenger.” It tells a story about a man’s relationship and confrontation with his inner demon and features the two male dancers of Dance Augusta. “The men of Dance Augusta are so talented,” McCormack said. “So I was really excited to get the chance to work with them — and just the two of them and not in a big piece and not with a lot of people.” Hulen returns to Augusta this year and will be performing with her husband in an original work she choreographed titled “Saudade Amore,” which made its premiere with Dance Augusta last year during the “Dance Fair” production. The Hulens will also perform in a work titled “Still Remembered,” choreographed by Andrew and Merry Kuharsky. “Still Remembered” is a touching piece in which a man laments the loss of his wife, and combines the past and present as the grieving husband remembers his life with her, Hulen said. The second work to make a premiere is “Imagine My Surprise” by Powlus. It features the entire company and closes out the show. “When I talked to Zanne [Colton] about what to do for the company for this particular concert, I thought that what was needed was something a little on the light side,” Powlus said. “So I went into my playlist of choreography and came across Haydn’s ‘Surprise Symphony,’ and thought that might be fun. It was an opportunity to incorporate some choreographic surprises, and to use the whole company. And I thought it might serve as a closer to the program.” “Parallels” The Imperial Theatre Friday, May 3 | 7 p.m. | $25-$30 706-722-8341 | AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989



Greek to Me


Eros Bistro gives Augusta diners an authentic taste of the Mediterranean

When Michael Brown married into a Greek family almost a year ago, he quickly learned that the culture of his wife Despoina and her family revolved around food. “You know, when Greeks sit down to eat its usually a four- or five-hour affair,” the Augusta native explained. “I’ve been to her dad’s house on many occasions to eat and we show up at say 2 o’clock and Ya Ya, which is grandma, will start cooking something, a snack, at about 2 o’clock and we will continue to eat from 2 o’clock all the way up through 7 or 8 o’clock at night and it’s five or six hours of eating, taking a break, having some ouzo, having some Greek coffee, eating some more, repeat, repeat.” Despoina, or Des, as most people call her, and her family hail from Serres in Northern Greece and has been in the states since 1999. She comes from a long line of cooks, her husband says. “Every one of her relatives in Greece owns a restaurant. Most of her relatives in Greenville, S.C., own restaurants, so she’s been around restaurants since she was just a wee baby,” Brown said. “And she’s studied culinary arts and won many, many, many, many competitions for different things such as her desserts, her cheesecakes and presentation, so she’s pretty good.” Des and Michael met in Greenville, which has a large Greek population and many Greek-owned restaurants, so he said that Des was surprised at the lack of her native cuisine when the couple moved to Augusta. “She was just baffled,” Brown said. “And she said, ‘We could certainly do well in this market, especially downtown, if we opened a Greek-Italian restaurant.” Her husband agreed and, with the help of his mother Debbie Caron, who also has 25 years of experience in the field, they decided to open Eros Bistro in the old New Moon Cafe location at 10th and Broad. The restaurant held their soft opening December 8, but it wasn’t until February 13 that they got their liquor license. “Now we have a full bar up and running,” Brown said. “We have a nice wine list and we have a good martini menu set up. We do things like a seasonal martini. Right now it’s the strawberry martini; soon it’ll be peach martini 26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

popular dishes, and customers love the moussaka — layers of potato, eggplant, sautéed ground beef, cheese and béchamel sauce — and the pastitsio — layers of penne pasta, sautéed ground beef and béchamel. Even Brown counts the moussaka as one of his favorites. “I don’t even like eggplant and I eat it, what, twice a week?” he asked Des. “Yes, but it takes three hours to make so it’s for the customers only,” she teased. There is one appetizer, however, that causes a chain reaction once customers see it served tableside. “One of our most popular appetizers, which is hands down terrific taste wise and presentation wise, is the saganaki,” Brown said. “It’s kasseri cheese that’s double breaded and seared, brought tableside and then flamed and it’s drizzled with lemon and served with warm pita. Once one is ordered on and then a watermelon martini. a Thursday, Friday We have a martini list on the back or Saturday night of the wine menu, a single malt when we’re busy? list, a blended malt list, a cognac It’s a chain reaction. and cordial list.” We sell 50 or 60 of The open and airy restaurant them a night.” serves lunch and dinner five Eros also does nights a week, focusing on a quick a shrimp saganaki turnaround for the lunch crowd that is served either as an appetizer or an entrée. The and slowing it down a little bit in the evenings. entrée is served with a side dish and a choice of salad, but “We put on the white tablecloths and the black cloth Brown says most people order the Greek salad with Des’ napkins just to kind of slow it down a little bit,” he homemade dressing. They then asked for a pint of the explained. “The kitchen’s not rushed to put food out like they are at lunch because people aren’t on a time schedule.” dressing to take home. The same goes for Des’ cheesecake, which even experts While Michael and Debbie work the front of the house, like a recent family who visited the restaurant, agree is one helping each and every customer have a wonderful of the best around. They even asked for a whole cheesecake experience, Des is in charge of the kitchen. to take home with them. “Des is primary chef and she does all the ordering,” “Their whole family loves cheesecake, they tried the Brown said. “She is seven months pregnant right now so we’re trying to back her up a little bit from the 12-hour days cheesecake and they were dead set on taking one home for their family,” he said. “It was a testament to how good the that she was working.” cheesecake was.” Though they have a strong kitchen staff full of veterans And while Eros Bistro may sound both exotic and and newcomers alike, customers may be unwilling to let Des exclusive, Brown says nothing could be further from the back off her duties. Every since their December opening, truth. Eros has been the subject of a lot of positive buzz, mostly “Eros Bistro is not a fine-dining restaurant. We’re not because of the authentic fare they serve. a 5-star restaurant. We’re more of a family restaurant And though customers are initially far more familiar with the Italian portion of the menu — not to mention very partial with an upscale feel,” he said. “We want everyone to feel to Des’ homemade marinara sauce that blankets everything comfortable and everyone to feel like family and that’s the way we treat them.” from the manicotti to the lasagna — the Greek dishes are gaining in popularity. Eros Bistro “They are more familiar with the Italian [part of the 1002 Broad Street, Augusta menu], but the way I’ve trained the staff is to explain the Tuesday-Saturday, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Greek dishes,” Brown said. “Every one of our staff has tried 706-303-8641 | each and every dish we have. I’m one of those people who thinks that you can’t sell it if you don’t know what it tastes like. They know what it tastes like now so they can explain it better.” The gyro with homemade taztziki sauce (sour cream, not yogurt, is the key, according to Des) is one of the most 2MAY2013


How Does Your Garden Grow? Mine? Not so great, but I’m trying.

I’m attempting to garden this year. I didn’t say that I planted or started a garden. I really should explain. I’m trying to grow things. Besides people. You see I, like many of you, have a black thumb. We had a fake, dusty Ficus in college. I’ve had few houseplants in my time. Those that did make it home suffered greatly. We had one on the mantle in our first home. It looked so nice up there, all green and earthy and stuff. In the four years we had it, it got watered four times. That might be an exaggeration. Maybe it was three. Somehow it lived, until one day, when only one green leaf remained, the soil barren and hard, I threw it away. Now that I think about it, that’s so sad. I killed it. I literally starved it to death. I literally love when I get to use literally in the correct way. Now that I’m thinking about it, we do have a sweet little shamrock that’s been kickin’ for some time now. The Boy’s teacher brought it from Ireland. That’s probably why I take it seriously. I’ve talked to it before. Is that the first step in becoming a plant lady? I guess we’ve had it a year or more. I’m pretty sure it died a couple of times and came back to life. That’s my kind of plant. Currently, we have three other live plants in our house. They’re all in the same room, and, so far, they’ve been watered regularly. Dried out leaf removal has occurred a couple of times. How often are you supposed to water houseplants? I suppose I could Google it. For now, I’m doing okay. The Girl and I were inspired a few weeks ago. On a whim, we went to Lowe’s and bought plants and fancy organic soil. We bought seeds, too, but I’m not getting ahead of myself. I told myself that if I can grow something, anything, that we can eat,


I’ll consider our first effort a success. I cheated and started with live, already growing plants. My mother in law is a Master Gardner. She planted window boxes for us, and she’s always giving us wonderful shrubs and flowers to add to our yard. We even have three loquat trees. They don’t bear fruit yet, but they’re not dead either. My brother in law knows more about plants than most nursery owners. He gave me some tips about starting a container garden. I hope I followed his directions appropriately. We planted three kinds of tomatoes (beefsteak, roma and classic heirloom), two cucumber seedling thingys, zucchini, strawberries and herbs. I’ve had some herbs before, but they came in a plastic bag from my MIL’s garden. People have told me they’re hard to kill. So are Cast Iron plants, and ours didn’t make it. We shall see. I have mint, rosemary, basil, chives, lemon thyme and two kinds of parsley. I’m fancy like that. I used the herbs yesterday in my homemade vegetable stock. I impressed myself. It felt so pioneer-y. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect to have a bountiful crop each weekend. I’m not starting a farm stand or anything. The Man thinks we should have chickens. Save for the fact that our dog would eat them, I think we need to see if we can grow a tomato first. We can grow kids, but they’re not left in the yard all day needing water and sunlight only to be forgotten during a week at the beach. Wait. How long can kids survive… never mind. Imagine our surprise when we noticed a bright red strawberry on the vine! The Girl shrieked. The Boy asked if we could eat it. Absolutely, kiddo. We’ll cut it in to four even slices and call it shortcake. It might even show up on Instagram. There are a few little green strawberries in there. Everything else has more than doubled in size. I’ll admit it: it’s pretty exciting. Our limited and small success makes me want to try more. For now, I’m crossing fingers and toes for one tomato. When we were shopping for supplies, I noticed they had grape vines ready to plant. I was tempted to add them to our basket, but I feared a certain raisiny death. They were the white seedless variety. Surely those make wine, right? Look, I grew a strawberry. Anything’s possible.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.












May 2 02Thursday, Live Music

Malibu Jack’s - KE-JU Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sector 7G - Peace Mercutio, Emery, Wolves at the Gate, the Seeking Sky City - Brotha Trav Get Well Celebration w/ Clash of the Titans, Enoch the Prophet, DJ Earthtone, Token Black, B-EZ, Rebel Lion Somewhere In Augusta - Joe Stevenson Tavern at the Bean - Irish Music The Willcox - Jazz What’s Tonight? Chevy’s Nite Club - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia Joe’s Underground - Trivia Night The Loft - Karaoke MAD Studios - Open Mic w/ Bugsy Calhoun Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Shannon’s - Karaoke Surreal at Surrey - College and F&B Night Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

May 3 03Friday, Live Music Augusta Canal Moonlight Music Cruise - The Cross Tie Walkers Country Club - Thomas Tillman Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz Joe’s Underground - Granny’s Gin MAD Studios - The Dubber Malibu Jack’s - Tony Williams Polo Tavern - Cock-Eyed Mary Somewhere In Augusta - The Hollerers Tavern at the Bean - Musicians Hangout w/ 9 Artists Performing What’s Tonight? Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Friday Night House Party Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rana Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Sky City - First Friday 80’s Night & Art Opening Soul Bar - First Friday DJ Mix Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest 30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Redneck Heaven, at least on Sunday, May 5, will be at the Augusta Riverfront Marina, where A Day in the Country Festival will be held. Featured acts include Florida Georgia Line (pictured), Casey James, Chris Janson, the Lacs, Carey Murdock and Jaycie Ward. Tickets are $19 in advance, $25 at the gate and $75 for The Cafe. Visit

May 4 04Saturday, Live Music 100 Laurens - Celia Gary The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold The Cotton Patch - John Barret’s LaRoxes Country Club - Jeremy Graham Band Coyote’s - Robin Dixon The First Round - F.O.C.U.S., False Flag, 57 Flip Joe’s Underground - Jerrod Gay Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Josh Hillley Band Sky City - Pop Evil w/ Necessary Evil Somewhere in Augusta - Cameras, Guns & Radios What’s Tonight? Chevy’s - DJ Dougie Club Argos - Saturday Night Dance Party and Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke The Playground - DJ Rana Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Tavern at the Bean - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke May 5 05Sunday, Live Music Augusta Riverfront Marina - A Day in the Country Festival w/ Carey Murdock, Florida Georgia Line, Chris Jansen Candlelight Jazz - GRU Conservatory Jazz Band, Stallings Island Middle School Jazz Band 5 O’Clock Bistro - Funk You Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio The Willcox - Jon Vaughn, brunch; Preston & Weston, night What’s Tonight? Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke

Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Polo Tavern - Bingo Night Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner May 6 06Monday, Live Music Shannon’s - Open Mic Night What’s Tonight? Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Chevy’s - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Poker Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia The Playground - DJ Rana Robolli’s - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker Wild Wing - Trivia May 7 07Tuesday, Live Music The Highlander - Open Mic Night Shannon’s - Karaoke Contest The Willcox - Piano jazz What’s Tonight? Chevy’s Nite Club - Shag Night w/ Free Lessons Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Joe’s Underground - Poker Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Poker Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia Surrey Tavern - Tubeday Tuesday Movie Night May 8 08Wednesday, Live Music Bell Auditorium - Little Big Town, David Nail Joe’s Underground - Kathleen Turner Overdrive Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Sky City - Beware of Darkness What’s Tonight? Armando’s - Karaoke w/ Rockin Rob

Chevy’s - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - The Comedy Zone w/ Adam Dodd and Brian Thomas Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey Upcoming Black Francis, Reid Paley - Sky City May 9 Keith Gregory - 100 Laurens May 10 John Karl - Country Club May 10 Kyle Smith - MAD Studios May 10 Reverse Effect - Polo Tavern May 10 Derelict String Band - Stillwater Tap Room May 10 Jubee, The Morning After, the Mason Jars - Sky City May 10 Jim Perkins - Carolina Ale House May 10 The Ryan West Band - Country Club May 11 Chanda Timon - MAD Studios May 11 @nd Annual Prince and the Time Tribute - Sky City May 11 Augusta Big Band Aggregate - Sky City May 16th Lucas Hoge - Country Club May 17 Within Reason - Sky City May 17 Bill Gentry - Country Club May 18 Derelict String Band w/ Grizzly Harris - Sky City May 23 Jimbo Mathus - Sky City May 24 Palmetto Groove Band - Chevy’s Nite Club May 24 Down - Sky City May 27 AcostA - Stillwater Taproom May 31 The Welfare Liners - Stillwater Taproom June 8 Blair Crimmins and the Hookers - Stillwater Taproom June 14 Donald Merkle and the Blacksmiths - Stillwater Taproom June 15 Earth, Wind & Fire - James Brown Arena June 18 Will McCranie - Stillwater Taproom June 20 The Mason Jars - Stillwater Taproom June 21 The Darnell Boys - Stillwater Taproom June 22 Jackaroe - Stillwater Taproom June 28 2MAY2013


Best Show in Augusta And you missed it.

Before we get into what’s coming up this week, big thanks goes out to the band Vintage Trouble for making their way through Augusta, Georgia. The band played Sky City this past Saturday night and it was the most fun I have ever had at a show in Augusta, besides Foxy Shazam. Ty Taylor, lead singer of Vintage Trouble, inspired by the Godfather himself, was one of the best frontmen I have seen. As with most shows in Augusta, other than country concerts, the crowd could have always been bigger, but I think I speak for everyone who was there, when I plainly say, “The band was awesome.” Bands like Vintage Trouble are hard to come by. Luckily for Augusta, Chuck Williams spoke with Ty and the band this week, and they said they couldn’t wait to get back and play Sky City again. I hope in the future people take advantage of seeing bands like this in intimate venues while you can. Example A: Vintage Trouble will spend the rest of the year touring with a little band called The Who, and then opening up for some guys called the Rolling Stones. First Friday returns to downtown Augusta for another night of downtown entertainment. And believe it or not, for the first time since I have lived in Augusta, the beginning of May is actually going to feel like spring! As my friends over at Stillwater say all the time, it should be perfect “rocking chair weather.” I challenge everyone to come out and take a big tour of Augusta’s downtown area. There’s always a fun vibe on First Friday afternoons, especially when the weather is nice. And don’t worry about Operation Rolling Thunder: haven’t you ever heard of back roads? I’m kidding. Have fun and call a cab. Sky City continues to be the king when it comes to big shows. This Saturday night, May 4, Sky City welcomes in Pop Evil. The band is returning to Augusta in support of their third studio album, “Onyx.” Hurry while you can; tickets are only going to run you $12. Winner for the best show name in Augusta goes to: May The 4th Be With You Show, featuring 57 Flip, F.O.C.U.S. and False Flag. Sorry, I’m a “Star Wars” nerd. See the bands on Saturday night at First Round Sports Bar and Lounge. If you are going to make it an early Saturday night, LaRoxes will be playing at the Cotton Patch. Some of the best musicians in Augusta will be performing on the patio at 7:30. Start making your plans for next week as well for two great shows at Sky City. The first is a low-dough show if there’s ever been one. National recording artists Beware of Darkness are in Augusta on Wednesday. This is only $6 a ticket in advance. Then on Thursday night, lead singer of the legendary band the Pixies, Black Francis, will be doing a solo performance with special guest, Reid Paley. If you are a rock music fan or, hell, just a music fan in general, this show should be pretty cool. has all the details. There’s new music that’s hitting stores this week. First it’s country music star Kenny Chesney. Fans are excited for his return with the new album titled “My Dog Left Me, Pick Up Truck, Trailer Park, Tobacco.” Actually, I have no idea what it is called; it’s country music. Next up is a new album from Iggy Pop and the Stooges! My first thought: “Oh my God, these guys are still alive and making music.” Then I found out the title of the new album is “Ready to Die.” I guess they were thinking the same thing while recording in the studio. Last, and for my pick of the week, the new disc from The Airbourne called “Toxic Event, Such Hot Blood.” Honorable mention goes out the “Iron Man 3” soundtrack. The soundtrack features some of great bands like Imagine Dragons, AWOLNATION and Passion Pit, just to name a few. What shows are coming to Augusta? Where is your band playing? What band is playing at your venue? Have you heard of the Rolling Stones? Email me at

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.





Michael Johnson

Julie Reeves, Jamie Cressend and Yeb-Wen Clepper at the Sacred Heart Garden Festival Preview Party.


Sallie Williams, singer-songwriter Michael Kaeshammer and Jai West at An Evening with Michael Kaeshammer at the Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center.

Elain Blackston, Stacey Fuhrmann and Jane Cox at Chevy’s Nite Club.


Kim Overstreet, Rachel Gregory and Mary Louise Hagler at the Sacred Heart Garden Festival Preview Party.

Jennifer Rucker, singer-songwriter Jennifer Daniels, Jeff Neal and Chris Rucker at Sky City.

Anna McKettrick, Rhonda Mathis and Allison Matthews at Somewhere in Augusta.


Donna Lee, Melissa Johann and Rachel Locklear at Somewhere in Augusta.

Kaylyn Williams, Alexis Moore, Mckynsey McCauley and Shakyla McCeod at the Country Club..

Richard Schwartz, Savannah Riverkeeper Tonya Bonitatibus and Robyn Boehmlein at Benderdinker at Betty’s Branch.

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Michelle and Richard Percival with Nicole and Madyson Barnes at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

Dan Thompson, Alyssa Yerger and Genevieve Espiritu at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

Bob Anderson, Carmelita Melecio, Karen Riddle and Chris Paitsell at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.


Kari Webb, Orlesia Harris, Jalyn Smith and Tesha Smith at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

Ashley Burmeister, Maryland Fried Chicken’s Trey Enfinger and Ansley Widener at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.


Billy O’Grady, Haley Rushing and Kevin O’Grady at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.


Valerie Emerick, Terri Flynn and Kathy Wespy at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

Stillwater Taprooms’s Matt Flynn and Suzanne Bloom with Heather and Jimmy Parker at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.

Michael Johnson

John Doty, Sandra Shirey and Matt Kristek at the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion.




So, in one week: Azziz is caught using university vehicles and personnel for a wedding; then caught using university personnel and vehicles to pick up his children from school; now caught building what looks to be a $125,000 garage addition to the president’s home. Someone needs to audit the books hard over there, and get rid of the people who have covered his behind for so long. His leadership has been a reign of terror since day one, and that’s why people have looked the other way. GRU needs a new media relations spokesperson after the $#it$t0rm their director caused. You don’t order reporters off the property of a taxpayer-funded university - in a state with some of the most open sunshine laws in the nation - after spending two years talking about how transparent the administration is trying to be. It is just amateur hour at the rodeo over there. They should have had clowns on campus running around to distract the reporters. Rolling Thunder cutting off downtown? They move all around Augusta, but make sure to pick on downtown every night. Nice guys. Now that was a bangin’ bluegrass festival y’all! Can’t wait til next year!



Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

Man O Man, that was one weird commercial on the stupe tube the other day! You know the one with the creepy wire hand puppet called Dollar Bill, from the furniture store talking about “keeping his girlfriend (sitting right there in the bed) happy!” Oh please tell us Mr. Furniture Man. How he gunna do dat? Surely they would only allow this kind of stuff right here in good old Disgusta, right? Harbans Wine and Spirits on Boy Scout Road has the most hilarious signs ever. Don’t ever stop!!!

Dog Park at Evans Town Center is great, where’s the one in Richmond County? Congrats on 30 years in Augusta, no refunds, but why are you still here whiner? Masters Week has been the same forever, you either leave here for the week and bitch about it, or stay here for the week and bitch about it. “Shouts Out,” call Power 107 with your shout outs, ain’t nobody got time for that! Boston Tragedy and T-Mobile..... What’s the whine there? Call Center U.S.A. ? Bubbaville go back in your trailer! Jiffy Pop? Press 0? Whining about Austin Rhodes, now that’s a new one! It’s interesting how monies flow to who and where when there are many cries for help after disasters. I see Boston folks got millions more than the small Texas town that got leveled by the fertizer plant blast. Such a shame in both and other areas that suffered.





Hey guys: Martha Stewart is on We hear she’s not too picky at all.


Too soon, Larry David… too soon.

Wow. Funny how Augusta had no crime during Masters week. At least none reported on the local news. Azziz and his entire PR team need to go. They talked a good game about how open the administration was going to be, only to turn into a cover-up team for his many indiscretions. Al Pacino could play Azziz in a movie called, “Sense of Entitlement.” Hoo-ah!









Metro Spirit 05.02.2013  

The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond...

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