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GOLD’S GYM NEWSLETTER 19 32 JENNY IS WRIGHT 33 ART 45: THE NERD 33 ART 45: QUIDAM
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WHINELINE I often pass by the dog park on Town Center Blvd in Evans. Dogs of all ages, sizes, breeds, colors, and temperaments are playing, having fun, and getting along with each other, without any intervention by their owners....wouldn’t it be wonderful if human beings could do the same?
We could learn a LOT from those DOGS!!
get to go unencumbered 51 weeks of the year to any place in town. Why worry Thirty years of my life spent about that one week? I’m so in Augusta as of this week. glad that many businesses Question: Where do I go to were flooded with customers get a refund or get the last who had a good time and thirty years of my life back? will hopefully visit Augusta again during other nonI don’t see why people Masters times. After all, we thought the extra visitors have great concerts and crowded them out of their other events downtown as favorite places. After all, you well as new restaurants. And
seafood spot on Washington our history museums are always evolving the exhibits. Rd. Had the pleasure of his sacrism while trying to wheel out. We never know what the One thing I’m thankful for during Masters week is that future holds for our health. Life is full of twist and turns it spared us, at least for wishing you a straight and one week, of Ruffin it and another of his vulgar tirade. narrow path. Shouts out to C. a Rude server with no sympathy to wheelchair bound customer @ Augusta’ s favorite
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Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Kristin Hawkins |Rhonda Jones nes |Austin Rhodes|Josh Ruffin|M Ruffin|Mat Ruffin|Matt Stone|Adam Wadding|Jenny Wrig Wright
o r t e m IR P S
INSIDER RUFFIN’ IT AUSTIN RHODES
SLAB MATT’S MUSIC THE8 SIGHTINGS
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Dateline Boston: A former Spirit writer’s firsthand account of the Boston Marathon bombings Coming Home to Roost: Metro Spirit’s Chicken River Bluegrass Festival grows into Savannah Rapids venue Listening Post: Force reduction talks spur support River Rights: Event settles quarter-century question regarding Betty’s Branch
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Who Are You Gonna Call Now? We reported in our January 10th Insider (oddly enough, it was the same issue that featured the story of the missing Imperial Theatre money) that Charles “Bubba” Holtzclaw was soon to be arrested on charges he embezzled between $130,000 and $160,000 from his employer, Howard Lumber. Well, he finally turned himself in on April 12, and the amount of money he is accused of stealing is north of $200,000. He was charged under the RICO Act, a serious felony charge created to help bust the mob in the early 1970s. According to law enforcement, the charge is a result of there being “multiple persons, businesses and a variety of schemes” in his embezzlement activities. It’s unclear how he pulled it off, and it won’t be until after trial. What is clear is that he’s going to owe a lot of money when he’s let out of prison. What makes this story even more interesting is the fact that Holtzclaw is the young man who (now commissioner, then candidate) Donnie Smith attempted to spring from the back of a patrol car at Wild Wing Cafe in September of last year. Ironic. Here is a 26-year-old man in the midst of embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars who’s got the chutzpah to call a Georgia State Patrol officer to try and get him out of a drunk and disorderly.
Crossing Into the Future Columbia County may soon be looking for a new chairman. But who? There isn’t a deep bench to choose from, and no one has stepped forward showing interest. It may seem like a long ways off, but November of next year the terms of Chairman Ron Cross, Commissioner Ron Thigpen and Commissioner Bill Morris are up. Commissioner Thigpen is an obvious choice for chairman, but those around him say he isn’t very interested in continuing with his public service. (As the chief operating officer of Southeastern Bank Financial Corp, the holding company of GB &T, he has his hands full… to the tune of 1.7 b-b-b-billion.) Commissioner Morris intends to run for his seat again, and Chairman Cross is on board for another term if no one steps up to replace him. As the county’s first chairman, he has had his hands in every aspect of Columbia County’s growth, for better or worse. Known for being the first in in the morning and last out at night, he is a workhorse. The position, originally envisioned as a part-time one (whose salary is $14,285 a year compared to Deke’s $75,844 a year) probably should be reconsidered. There are those who would like to see the salary increased to a living wage, as the job is in fact full time. After all, the commission manages a budget of over $50 million, which added to the enterprise fund is in the $130 million range. In a county run more like a business, the leader should receive compensation reflective of that. If not, the only people able to hold the chairman’s title will be independently wealthy or retired. Or both. And that doesn’t always work out for the best. No sitting commissioner would dare to publicly advocate the increase in salary, lest they appear ready to pursue the job, and any outside contenders are similarly handcuffed. The only person with enough clout to credibly push for the raise would be Cross himself, but only after her runs for — and wins — another term. But if he does, he’d better push for it quick or else it’ll look like he’s making a damn fine bed for a “hand-picked” successor, and you know how those Republicans out there in Columbia County would spin that.
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From the Publisher Get Out Augusta! (Like, Umm, This Saturday) One of the goals of the Spirit is to create quality of life events, and the Chicken River Bluegrass Festival is one of them. In April we hosted the Second Annual ETCP Springfest at the Lady A and had a great turnout. This Saturday marks the Second Annual Chicken River Bluegrass Festival. (The name changed from Chicken and Beer to reflect a greater emphasis on music.) We chose this particular location as a way of exposing one of the most picturesque places in the area to more people. So instead of heading to the Common in Augusta or the Lady A in Evans, this weekend head to the river. A little background on the location. The canal was constructed in 1845 as a source of power, water and transportation. The water pumping station that can be seen from Riverwatch Parkway was built in the 1890s and provides Augusta its drinking water to this day. The canal begins at the Headgates in Columbia County (known to many as the Savannah Rapids Pavilion) and flows through downtown Augusta before rejoining the river At the pavilion there is a lower parking area by the pedestrian bridge that crosses the canal a few hundred yards from the beginning of the canal. Thatâ€™s where youâ€™ll find us. The event is free to attend, family friendly and features lots of food (chicken), craft beer ($3 for an ID band) and a solid lineup of pickers presented by Stillwater Taproom. Bring your blankets and chairs (no coolers or outside food please) and enjoy. Special thanks to GRU for helping put this shindig on.
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WDMD In a move that seems designed to give the CADI-less DDA a purpose, DDA Executive Director Margaret Woodard announced that the authority plans to hire a consulting firm from Alabama to help attract businesses to Augusta. A consulting firm. From Alabama. Private funding is supposedly helping to offset the cost, which might mute the criticism just a touch, but there are no shortage of people around town wondering why such a thing â€” attracting business â€” needs to be outsourced at all when thereâ€™s already someone in place whoâ€™s sort of supposed to be doing just that. The goal, of course, is admirable â€” making downtown Augusta a retail destination â€” and many will find it tough to criticize any plan that could help the limping downtown economy, but if Woodard doesnâ€™t have enough time to help the downtown become a destination, what exactly is she doing?
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Two out of four Koch brothers plan to take over the world… in a bad way There are currently four Koch brothers in this country with plans for worldwide domination, and I can totally get behind two of them: Jim Koch, founder of the Boston Beer Company — more colloquially known as Samuel Adams, even more well known as that beer your dad drinks — and Greg Koch, co-owner of Stone Brewing Company. Both are as famous (in the BBC’s case, even more famous) for their many-tentacled marketing machines as the quality of their beer — Stone sells a different drinking vessel for just about every beer they brew — and in the context of this column, the irony of their names combined with their expansionist business ventures does not escape me. Still, they each brew good-sometimes-great beer, and I’d just as soon leave them to ponder — from atop their piles of money — the cruel twists of fate that are their birth names. The other two Kochs… not so much. You might recognize multibillionaire industrialists Charles and David Koch from such classics as Buying the Scott Walker Recall Election, Making Thinly Veiled Political Threats to Their Employees and the film “Trading Places,” where they ruined Dan Aykroyd’s life and got Principal Vernon gorilla-raped which, let’s be fair, is kind of a harsh punishment for locking four straightlaced kids in a room with Judd Nelson. Brat Pack references aside, the Koch brothers are what happens when the lovechild of Snidely Whiplash and Michelle Malkin decides to dedicate his life to being a Pat Boone impersonator. They funded Scott Walker’s recall/reelection bid to the tune of over $1 million through either direct contributions or through a PAC that donated the lion’s share of the million to the Republican Governors Association. They implicitly threatened the jobs of 45,000 Georgia Pacific employees during the 2012 presidential election. To date, they’ve outspent Exxon Mobil on climate change disinformation, and have substantially funded the American Legislative Exchange Council, a group that is largely behind recent attempts to pass voter ID laws — i.e., keep minorities from voting — in key battleground states. They are Charles Foster Kane, short a Rosebud. Their evil cackles are co-sponsored by J. Crew. Why am I telling you all this? Rewind three years: the Koch brothers held a seminar at the St. Regis Resort in Aspen, Colorado, for other libertarian/conservativeleaning, wealthy political donors. During the sessions,
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they mapped out a decade-long plan to more efficiently shape the country into a libertarian ideal, i.e. smaller government and little or no taxes. Two go without saying: influencing politics and educating/organizing conservative grassroots activists. The third, however, involves media. It’s not that the brothers are strangers to the power of media and its reach. As I said before, their contributions to the Republican Governors Association helped fund smear ads against Walker’s opponent Tom Barrett, and they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to combat actual climate research through such shill conduits as the Berkeley Earth Surface Temperature Study. But they have never attempted anything quite on this scale before (via the New York Times): Now, Koch Industries, the sprawling private company of which Charles G. Koch serves as chairman and chief executive, is exploring a bid to buy the Tribune Company’s eight regional newspapers, including The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Baltimore Sun, The Orlando Sentinel and The Hartford Courant. Politically… the papers could serve as a broader platform for the Kochs’ laissez-faire ideas. The Los Angeles Times is the fourth-largest paper in the country, and The Tribune is No. 9, and others are in several battleground states, including two of the largest newspapers in Florida, The Orlando Sentinel and The Sun Sentinel in Fort Lauderdale. A deal could include Hoy, the second-largest Spanish-language daily newspaper, which speaks to the pivotal Hispanic demographic. Devil’s advocates — a term which takes on new, hilariously grim subtexts here — are quick to warn that this might not be the political power play it seems, speculating it could just be another outlet to pad the Kochs’ wealth. Credit due, it’s a plan that seems too obviously nefarious to be actual. After all, “the sun,” poet Albert Goldbarth writes “is too here” for us to notice it. That said, no way in hell do the Kochs limit this to a financial venture only. The last time I believed something that stupid, someone sold me a bridge made of Amway. The brothers have a history of using their expansive wealth and influence to impact the sociopolitical landscape — see above, above and above — and this kind of move just screams power play.
I’m actually surprised this isn’t getting more coverage, even in the liberal wings of the mainstream media; so far, Mother Jones and Think Progress are two of the only high-profile outlets devoting print/html to the issue. Maybe the story isn’t gaining traction because it’s nothing new. Before a wire-tapping scandal mortally wounded it, Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World media conglomerate, which still controls Fox News and a host of other prominent print and multimedia outlets, was the 800-pound gorilla of hostile media takeovers. Now, due to a combination of a sense of security over Murdoch’s house crumbling and the public’s desensitization to bought-and-paid-for mainstream news, the Kochs are free to pack tight the void. As a side/closing note, I have to point out that the Kochs’ 10-year plan in question came about as a result, not of trying to destroy some of the remaining vestiges of honest discourse, but, according to an individual who was present at the seminar, out of fears that “the conservative voice wasn’t being heard.” And that, more than anything, is what’s so amazing about this whole story. The American people have heard the conservative agenda — guns for everyone, no abortions, regulating vaginas, tax breaks for the ultra-wealthy, gay people are third-class citizens — and roundly rejected it to the tune of 90 percent favoring universal background checks for firearm purchases, a majority approving of same-sex marriage, etc. Republicans, it seems, love the sound of an echo chamber. Hence the Kochs’ plan.
JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published
journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.
GROW ON TREES (Although some local tree services must beli be liliev evee it doe ev ddoes oess ac oe acco cord co rdin rd ingg to tthe in heir he ir eest stim st imat im ates at ess!) believe according their estimates!)
Azziz Does His Best Scrooge McDuck
What do you call a rich man who carts out-of-town wedding guests back and forth between a luxury hotel and his multimillion dollar mansion on a glorified college school bus, all for free (or so he thought)? You call him the president of Georgia Regents University, of course. Not sure what Dr. Ricardo Azziz was thinking when he lined up all kinds of GRU connected goodies to augment the wonderful wedding he hosted for his niece in his taxpayer-funded home, but I am pretty sure he didn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone else was going to think about it, either. No doubt by now you have heard and read all kinds of neat things about the minimal costs he will “reimburse” the school for. No doubt you have heard the guffaws, smart remarks and sly comments made by virtually everyone not on the payroll or under his direct control in response to
“WeddingGate,” but let me share a few tidbits that likely will be news. Three of the four GRU police officers that were on hand as working security “volunteers” for the blessed event last weekend are exempt employees. Management types who are not paid by the hour, and therefore, do not usually accrue overtime. The hourly guy usually works as Dr. Azziz’s personal driver, but according to a few people who know him, there isn’t another place in the world he would have rather been on that lovely Saturday night than in service to the boss. Seriously. Not sure what makes me chuckle more, the fact that Azziz has a certified state police officer carrying him to and fro all over the place, or the fact that the guy comes across as the GRU police version of Douglas Neidermeyer from “Animal House.” And I don’t mean that in a good way. Then of course Dean Wormer, I mean, Dr. Azziz, gets the bright idea to commandeer a student commuter bus, so his well-heeled guests staying one block down the street at the Partridge Inn did not get gnats in their fur pieces on the walk up Walton Way. Anyone care to wager that the commuter bus in question, pictured in the Augusta Chronicle earlier this week while commissioned for the wedding, was given the detail job of all time before going into service for his Lordship? The last time such a large, expensive, taxpayer-owned vehicle was so improperly appropriated for a clearly unauthorized mission, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis were behind the wheel and heading to Soviet occupied East Germany. Why not? Who tells this man no, ever? Not a damn soul that works with him to be sure.
His lovely wife was kind enough to pass out the flier you see here as a way of telling her neighbors that an event was afoot, so, you know, not to worry. If any member of the staff or faculty at either of the schools we once knew and loved as MCG and ASU had ever pulled a stunt like this, they would have been shipped out so quick you would have seen a twirling desk chair where their butt used to be. Kinda makes you wonder what else goes on over there under the suggestions and persuasive powers of Dr. Azziz. Sure, he will write a check for a few hundred bucks because he got caught, and I bet he won’t be hosting any more volunteer cops at family functions, but this guy is slicker than goose poop and has 10 times the shelf life. He just doesn’t care. But there seems to be some good news. A few of his “friends” on the Board of Regents are starting to care. Azziz is creating some heat behind the scenes that is apparently not sitting well with a few very important people that he needs in his corner. I am told his attitude is wearing thin. Will WeddingGate be the straw that breaks the camel’s back in the quest to purge us all of Eddie Munster, Sr.? I kinda doubt it, but I am loving the fact that his position seems to be getting weaker, and not stronger, as the days go by.
The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.
AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Coming Home to Roost
Metro Spirit’s Chicken River Bluegrass Festival grows into Savannah Rapids venue
Fans of good music, good food and good beer might notice that last year’s Chicken and Beer Festival has a new name, but those who are in it for the beer don’t have to worry — the beer’s still there, it’s just moved out of the spotlight. “The change to Metro Spirit’s Chicken River Bluegrass Festival is just a way to signify the steps we’re taking to make this a real bluegrass festival,” says Joe White, owner/publisher of the Metro Spirit. “And if you came last year, you’ll really be able to see the progression.” Last year, the lower parking lot by the waterfall at Columbia County’s Savannah Rapids was a construction zone. This year, it’s a fully landscaped 8
METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
recreational area complete with bathrooms, pavilions, plenty of shade and easy access to the canal path that makes the area so spectacular. Located at the dead end of Evans to Locks Road, the area, with its scenic views of the canal, its historic Headgates and the Savannah River, is one of the CSRA’s overlooked gems, perfect for a laidback bluegrass festival designed after the relaxed, free and family friendly summer festivals of White’s youth. Of course, the area’s rich bluegrass tradition (you don’t have to go much further than the Lewis Family, but you can) doesn’t hurt, either, and thanks to the bands provided by Stillwater Taproom’s co-owner Matt Flynn, there’s a full slate from noon until 7 p.m. “There will be plenty of banjos and mandolins and upright basses,” he says. “They’re all quality bands, and it should be a good time.” Headlining the event at approximately 4:45 is Corduroy Road, a popular Athens band Flynn knows
well. “Corduroy Road has played at the bar a number of times,” he says. “They’re good guys and they’re a really good band. I think they will play some crowd-pleasing stuff.” Before that is Black Iron Gathering, a folk/stompgrass band out of Columbia and before that, Aiken’s Derelict String Band, who claim on their Facebook page to be moonshiners from 1937 who stumbled upon a DeLorean with a Flux Capacitor. What’s not to love about a band like that? Kicking things off will be Augusta’s Cricket Ridge, a group with a growing following for its authentic bluegrass. Flynn says that over the last 10 years, Augusta has proved to be an enthusiastic consumer of bluegrass and traditional American music. “People love the stuff,” he says. “They might not think they like it, but they do.” Though the event might be moving from a craft beer festival to a bluegrass festival, that doesn’t mean there won’t be plenty of good beers to drink. According to Mike Marty, craft beer manager for AB Beverage, this year’s offerings from New Belgium and Goose Island, among others, will dovetail perfectly with the warming weather. “Typically, this time of year everybody’s moving into lighter, drier beers,” he says. “Hot weather tends to push people that way. You’ll see more wheat beers, more lagers and more of the lighter, crisper beers.” Nestled in a much more intimate setting than the earlier Springfest, those who wish to enjoy the beers will be able to process through the $3 ID check with ease. As you might expect, given the name, the food vendors will be offering their own variations of chicken. Though not every menu has been fully set, Andrew Crumrine says the Crums offering will be jerk chicken tacos. “It’s a little something we’ve been working on,” he says. “We did them at the craft beer festival, and we’ve been tuning them up a bit.” David Hopkins of Maryland’s Fried Chicken says he was thinking about convenience when making out his menu — rather than duplicating the bone-in chicken he served last year, he’s planning chicken sandwiches or chicken tenders. “This way, we can just bag it up and it’s a little easier to walk around and enjoy the festivities while eating lunch,” he says. A fan of the location, Hopkins expects this year to be even busier than last year. “Last year it was definitely a work in progress,” he says. “A lot of people were unaware of what was being built, so the festival made them aware. Now that it’s all finished, I think it’s a win-win, and we look forward to being a part of it for many years to come.” Metro Spirit’s Chicken River Bluegrass Festival Savannah Rapids Pavilion Lower Parking Area Saturday, April 27 Music from noon to 7 p.m. | Free 706-496-2535 | metrospirit.com 25APRIL2013
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Force reduction talks spur support
January’s Programmatic Environmental Assessment (PEA), a document released by the Department of the Army that evaluates and assesses the impacts of potential adjustments to Army forces, sent shockwaves through the nation’s 21 major military communities, including here in Augusta, where the study projected a potential loss of up to 4,300 soldiers from Fort Gordon. “That’s a worst-case scenario,” says Thom Tuckey, executive director of the CSRA Alliance for Fort Gordon, an organization founded in 2003 to maximize the bond between Fort Gordon and the surrounding area by promoting the installation and its missions. “It’s a shot across the bow putting Congress on notice that they’ve directed the Army to reduce overall [strength] by 80,000.” Worst-case scenario or not, the PEA has people’s attention. According to Tuckey, the Augusta area enjoys 48,000 jobs as a result of the 24,000 employees at Fort Gordon, and any reduction is going to have an impact that will quickly ripple into the community. Fort Gordon was unaffected by the 2005 Base Realignment and Closure Round (BRAC), but those base closings, which claimed several installations and ravaged their corresponding communities, are never completely forgotten. According to the Department of the Army, this force
reduction, which is independent of the sequestration cuts that are currently making headlines, will take the Army from a 562,000 active-duty force to a 490,000 active-duty force by 2020. It’s an attempt by the Army to maintain strength while conforming to a “reduced budget climate.” “It will mostly affect the brigade combat teams,” Tuckey says. “There are 45 brigade combat teams scattered throughout the world.” Fort Gordon doesn’t have any brigade combat teams, so it’s unlikely that it will lose a big chunk of personnel at one time. What it does have, though, is communications and military intelligence elements that support brigade combat teams, and it’s only reasonable to assume that a reduction in the brigade combat teams will mean a subsequent reduction in support. “If you downsize a force by 80,000, obviously you’re not going to need as many radio operators and all that,” Tuckey says. “So there’s going to be a reduction in the student load at Fort Gordon, since anyone who enters the Army to learn about communications comes to Fort Gordon for their schooling. We anticipate that, but certainly not to the extent of 4,300.” At the same time, Tuckey says that the Army’s increased emphasis on cybersecurity bodes well for Fort Gordon, since cybersecurity is taught at the installation. “So what we may lose in satellite radio operators we may gain in cybersecurity network protectors,” Tuckey says. “It may offset each other.” The point is, for the time being at least, nobody knows quite how or where the reductions are going to come down. Consequently, the Department of the Army has instituted a
“listening tour” of the affected communities to allow them to articulate the importance of the installations. Fort Gordon’s listening tour is scheduled from noon until 2 p.m. on Thursday, April 25, at the Fort Gordon Dinner Theater. Tuckey will give a presentation on Fort Gordon’s economic impact on the community and the ways in which the community is focusing on things that were identified by the study as potential concerns, like the traffic congestion addressed by the TSPLOST projects. Local political and business leaders have also been invited to expound on the importance of the installation and its relationship with the community. Both Mayor Deke Copenhaver and members of Columbia County’s Commission are expected to speak. “I think if you talk to the people assigned to Fort Gordon, they’ll tell you the relationship between the community and the fort is probably the best they’ve ever seen in terms of the support they get, the participation and the welcoming of the families into the community,” Tuckey says. And from the community’s standpoint, those military families bring with them volunteers and plenty of community involvement. Soldiers and their families are frequent volunteers for events like the ESI Augusta 70.3 Ironman and are active members of local churches, schools and neighborhood associations. “What you don’t have here — you don’t have strips of bars and tattoo parlors and pawn shops and all of that stuff like you see outside other installations,” Tuckey says. “Yeah, we have tattoo parlors here and there and there’s a few bars downtown, but the community takes great pride that they’ve managed to control that to the point where we don’t have it here, which makes it very appealing not only to service members, but to the families as well.” Though the meeting is intended to send a strong message to the Army, by its nature, it could end up reemphasizing to the community just how important Fort Gordon really is. “There will be a lot of community folks there, too, so it not only affords us the opportunity to comment to the Department of the Army people that will be there, but it gives the key leaders in the community the opportunity to tell the community what’s going on in terms of the relationships with the installation and the importance of certain aspects of those relationships,” Tuckey says. “It’s an opportunity for folks in the community to hear a lot of the issues that tend to be taken for granted.”
Event settles quarter-century question regarding Betty’s Branch Organizing an event like the Second Annual Benderdinker kayak and water festival is hard enough on its own, even for a mother of two, but when the right to use the planned stretch of water is called into question, it becomes a serious challenge. Though Kristina Williams, the founder and force behind the Benderdinker, received a permit from 10 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
the Department of Natural Resources (DNR) for the inaugural event last year, she was initially denied one this year for the same stretch of water. The reason: Betty’s Branch was considered private property. Champions Retreat, the championship golf course, owns part of the island on the opposite side of Betty’s Branch – in fact, one of the holes actually plays over the tributary – and on Saturday, April 27, the same day as the Benderdinker, the course is hosting a tournament with 160 golfers. The golf course didn’t want hundreds of kayaks cruising through. “We were going to have to do it out on the Savannah and just kind of wing it,” Williams says. “The management at the golf course initially rejected our request to paddle through.” Holding the event completely in the Savannah River – the makeshift circuit was simply a loop within the river itself – would have completely changed the complexion of the event, which combines paddling with live music and local vendors to provide a local-flavored event that Williams says shouldn’t be separated from the golf. “I like going through the golf course because it culturally defines who we are,” she says. “We’re a golfing community. This is what we have here and it’s nice to be able to go through and have that experience.” And yet Champions Retreat felt otherwise, and consequently the permit was denied. Enter Tonya Bonitatibus, the Savannah Riverkeeper, who advocates for the free use of the river. “This, to me, is the perfect example of the type of stuff that we have to make sure we stand up against,” she says. “If we don’t, this becomes an example of ‘I’ve got enough money to keep you out.’ But it doesn’t belong to them. It’s the same as them saying all those fish belong to them.” Betty’s Branch, also known as Little River, is a channel off the Riverside Park boat landing in Columbia County that connects to the Savannah River on either end, which makes it the perfect course for kayakers, who enjoy making the loop unimpeded throughout the year. “This channel was a channel even before it was flooded,” Bonitatibus says. “And any time that the river flooded, this would have been full. It’s a navigable waterway.” And navigable waterways can not be private. Though the definition of what constitutes a navigable waterway isn’t totally clear, the Corps of Engineers agreed, and though the DNR historically defers to the corps when defining the navigability of waterways, this time it took a while for the DNR attorneys to respond. To Bonitatibus, it was as clear as the water beneath her hull. “I had my 20-foot Carolina skiff with a 115-horse outboard and I was able to go through the whole thing, no problem,” Bonitatibus says. “And that’s when there’s not water coming out of the dam.” Though it’s understandable that hundreds of kayaks might be a distraction to a golf tournament, the idea that the waterway is private property and that access to the public can be denied seems to go against not only geography but against the county’s investment in the riverside landing and its recent push to find kayak rental providers, since many of those rental kayaks find their way down Betty’s Branch. In the end, the DNR agreed with the Corps of Engineers that the tributary was a public waterway, and on April 8 they issued the permit to allow the Benderdinker to use its original proposed course. Williams says both she and the Champions Retreat are now working hard to make the new relationship amicable and long lasting, and this weekend is going to be an important first step. “For them, they want to make sure that no one in a kayak gets hit by a golf ball, and we want to make sure that we’re quiet for the golfer’s tournament,” Williams says. “So, we’re trying to get it done, but it’s going to be a challenge.” For Bonitatibus, who was willing to push the water rights issue even if it meant hosting an event and applying for a permit herself, the resolution ends nearly 25 years of ambiguity regarding the navigability of the waterway. “It’s good for people to realize that this is the kind of stuff you have to fight,” she says. “And it’s a neat example of why you need a Riverkeeper, too. It’s really, really easy for the average person to get lost in the shuffle and the average person’s rights to get pushed aside.”
NOTICE OF PUBLIC MEETING AUGUSTA, GEORGIA FIVE-YEAR SHORT TERM WORK PROGRAM UPDATE The City of Augusta, Georgia will hold a public meeting at the Augusta Public Library, 823 Telfair Street, Augusta, Georgia at 5:30 PM on Monday, April 29, 2013 to receive input on the Comprehensive Plan Short Term Work Program update for Augusta. This program sets forth the proposed activities over the next five years to achieve the goals and objectives in the Augusta-Richmond County Comprehensive Plan. Anyone wishing to comment or make suggestions should attend. The purpose of the meeting will be to obtain citizen input into the development of the Short Term Work Program update. A summary of accomplishments on the projects included in the previous Short Term Work Program will also be available for review. The draft Short Term Work Program and the Report of Accomplishments can also be viewed at the Augusta website - www.augustaga.gov Persons with special needs relating to handicapped accessibility or foreign language should contact Ms. Lynn Russell at the Augusta Planning and Development Department at (706) 821-1796 during normal business hours Monday through Friday, except holidays. Deke Copenhaver, Mayor Augusta, Georgia
AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
A former Spirit writer’s firsthand account of the Boston Marathon bombings
Runners unable to finish race at the corner of Commonwealth Ave. and Massachusetts Ave.
At 4:16 p.m. last Monday, a call finally connected to my phone. I was not ready for it. I had studied how to be on the opposite side of this conversation for nearly five years, but this time it was me on the other end of the line. It was 4:16 last Monday, Marathon Monday, and I was the interviewee for WJBF Augusta and their liaison to the news in Boston. I was lousy. “Tell us what you’re doing now and what it’s like up there.” “Okay.” There was a long pause. This was where I was supposed to respond, but I had already forgotten what the reporter asked. “Were you close when it happened?” “Oh.” 12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Another pause. “Um, yeah. Actually, I was there a couple hours ago…” I focused and explained. Yes, I was close. I was relatively close to everything that happened in Boston last week, but this call came two hours after the explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. He wanted to know where I was at 2:50. I was close. — Patriot’s Day is a statewide holiday in Massachusetts. Schools and many businesses are closed. In Boston, it’s also Marathon Monday. The 26.2-mile path that begins in the small town of Hopkinton and ends in downtown Boston’s Copley Square builds into the atmosphere of an SEC football game. The crowds are also raucous at Fenway Park, where the Boston Red Sox play the only morning game of the Major League Baseball season. I did not have the day off. My job was to report on the Boston Marathon, both for a Boston University
graduate journalism class and the BU Student News Service. It was my second semester in the city, fresh out of undergrad at the University of Georgia, and my first marathon. I walked out of my apartment behind Fenway at 9 a.m. and turned south down Beacon Street. A mile and a half later I reached stroller-laden Coolidge Corner in Brookline, a sleepy family town southwest of Boston. It was prime viewing time and territory for early-rising parents and their restless kids: there was plenty of space and high curbs for better views just two and a half miles away from the finish line. From the hill down the street the runners would be able to see downtown Boston. It was the beginning of the end. The marathon’s earliest starters were the mobility impaired, the wheelchair division and the handcyclers. There were 50 of them, and they all started between 9 and 9:22 a.m. Next were the 50 elite women, who took off from Hopkinton at 9:32 a.m. Finally the elite men and the first large wave of runners left at 10 a.m. By 10:40 a.m. all 23,336 runners were off. Thin quilts of clouds streaked by, but the sun broke them easily. At 10 a.m. the temperature topped 60 25APRIL2013
Photo: Panicha Imsomboon
degrees in the sun. A half hour later, the first disabled participant coasted through Coolidge Corner, known this day as mile 24, on a handcycle. “What if you just pretend you’re in a wheelchair for the race?” a little girl asked her mom. Mom tried not to laugh. The girl did not ask again, too distracted by a cigarette butt on the ground to watch any other racers.
At 11:46 a.m. a lone female runner passed through Coolidge Corner in first place. The men leading the marathon bounded by 12 minutes later. This was what all the young families were waiting for. They came to see the eventual winners. Moms and dads cheered while kids screamed in falsetto. But the fervent cheering trailed off after a couple minutes. Kids grew impatient and hungry. The crowd thinned, and I heard at least two different sets of parents tell their children it was time for a nap. For most, Marathon Monday was just beginning, but for hundreds of spectators in Coolidge Corner it was over. It was a sort of marathon before the marathon. I stopped for lunch in Brookline, then walked back up Beacon Street to boozier Kenmore Square. This was mile 25, a 10-minute walk from my apartment. On the other side of a bridge over I-90 was Fenway Park. It was almost 1 p.m. and runners were everywhere. Hundreds in the first wave, which totaled about 9,000 runners, were passing through. They stretched as 25APRIL2013
wide as Commonwealth Avenue, the last major road in Kenmore Square they would run before continuing eastward and finishing on Boylston Street. There were “U-S-A!” cheers sounding every few minutes. Some spectators took the opportunity to run alongside friends for the final mile. Tracing the route to the finish line in Copley Square from this point would take at least an hour as a spectator. Lines were 20 people deep all down Boylston Street to see the half-mile straightaway to the finish line. I was initially discouraged, but then decided instead to see what the moments immediately after the race were like. I circled around and wedged a half-block beyond the finish, into the area where runners met family and friends. The decision to avoid the wall of viewers and stray this far beyond the finish line, even if it was less than a block away, was vital. I’m not sure how many more minutes I would have spent squeezing into the crowds at the finish line, but I think about it a lot. Instead I was on my toes, scanning the crowd for my roommate. He had a friend running the marathon who expected to finish around 2:15 p.m. The timing was right. I found them quickly and we opted to avoid a crowded subway and walk the mile and a half home to Fenway. We exchanged marathon experiences and I tried to sketch my story in my head. I framed something about the silly little girl and the marathon before the marathon. I didn’t hear the explosions at 2:50 p.m. I may have been walking up the stairs to my front door when my story changed. There was a confused, quiet nervousness in Fenway for a while. No desperate cries or fleeing. It took 45 minutes for the news to travel down Boylston Street, down Commonwealth Jason Lind Avenue and arrive at Beacon Street. We were simultaneously too close and not close enough. People around the world knew what happened in Copley Square before people down the street did. Marathoners were some of the last to know. They continued to run while spectators shut their windows. When news got to the runners, they were corralled on the sides of the roads, exhausted and searching for friends or family. I did not notice a clock for the next five hours. It felt like only 30 minutes because everything moved so quickly on the news. Cell service was unreliable after the explosions, so we all used the Internet to communicate. Email, Facebook and Twitter remained open in my browser the rest of the day. After a couple hours, WJBF reached out online for a phone interview. It took a few minutes to connect, but eventually I did and told them what I could. I remember being asked if I was scared, but I still can’t remember how I responded. I was too close but not close enough for
any real committed emotion. I mostly felt anxious. I worried about friends. I was on the other side of an interview for the most personally affecting news event of my lifetime. It was, possibly, generation defining, but I felt such a solemn distance from it all. I was stupefied. Unable to react. It took me an hour to even consider going back out and covering this new story, but by then I had already told everyone who contacted me that I would stay safe. I could not bring myself to betray their trust. The anxiety built as I recognized the severity of the situation. I slept only a few hours Monday night. — Panicha Imsomboon, a BU journalism graduate student from Thailand, stood between the two explosions, closer to the second. It was also her first marathon. The first blast was confounding. People mistook it for a firework until blood was on the street. It was the second explosion, almost 10 seconds later, that affirmed reality and incited panic. People howled in fear and pain around Imsomboon. She gave her scarf to a woman who was bleeding from her neck. With the help of others she found the woman an ambulance. “It was sad, and still is, to be among the crowd who were crying because they didn’t know what happened to their loved ones,” she said in an email and in class the following day. “I cried as I was walking away from the area. It took me a while to stop crying.” Katie Hynes was just outside of Kenmore Square with her boyfriend, at a Mexican restaurant frequented by many Fenway Park patrons, when someone scanning a cell phone told her about the explosions. She moved from Augusta to Cambridge in January for graduate school at Lesley University. This was her first marathon, too. “We couldn’t really comprehend what was going on at that point, but we knew it was serious,” she said in a Facebook message. “It was pretty eerie out. Lots of cops and sirens. People were crying.” For three days I wasn’t sure if the distant whines of ambulances were imaginary or real. A building where I taught undergraduates was evacuated after reports of a suspicious package on Tuesday. There would be a lot more of those. In class everyone had something to share about Monday. Not unlike New York City residents after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, we were united by close calls. We related by remembering where we were at the time of the explosion, but we also related by remembering where we might have been. Many journalism students at BU covered the marathon, and a few were almost in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some were at the finish line but left before the chaos. Others weren’t there by happenstance, barred by the crowds or a story that led elsewhere. But everybody I talked to considered watching from the finish line. A few walked down Commonwealth Avenue then turned back like I nearly did. They saw the crowds on Boylston Street and didn’t even bother to walk around them. It seemed like everybody knew somebody at the finish line. By Friday we all discovered that one BU graduate student from China, 23-year-old Lu Lingzi, was killed. — Before setting out on Monday morning I had booked a bus trip to New York City to visit my girlfriend and look for an apartment. I received an offer to intern in AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
raw, passionate worship
omega worship (not church) for people leaving religion and looking for god.
Manhattan for the summer and needed a place to stay. I wanted out of Boston for a few days. The bus was supposed to leave on Friday at 2 p.m., and I was packed days before. My buzzing cell phone woke me at 6:15 on Friday morning, an hour earlier than usual. I saw a string of text messages from a familiar five-digit emergency number. This was the Boston University emergency contact number. I had only seen it a few times, and most of the attached messages were about school closings for snow days. I did, however, see it an hour after the bombs went off on Monday. “The University is closed and classes are cancelled today. Please stay inside and avoid windows.” I found out about the carjacking, the shootout and the ongoing manhunt through the radio. I needed a break from television coverage. It was painful to look at the same still photos and crime scenes. The radio voices were more calming, too. Less willing to speculate. The TV broadcasts were not sensitive enough for me. They had become too blunt and repetitive to digest. I was too close to the tragedy. My mom called, pretending to be less concerned than she was. I still heard her voice waver a few times. I called my girlfriend and informed her of the situation on her way to work. All public transportation was shut down and we were advised to stay indoors. There would be no bus trip. We had not seen each other in over a month and she was already scared by what happened on Monday. She cried. I found a bus still scheduled to leave the following morning at 7 a.m., but I was sure it would be cancelled too. I booked the trip anyway. That day was more frustrating than frightening. I was tempted to venture outside, to see what the city looked like, but I saw all the empty space out my window. There was little reporting for me to do outside. The policemen between my apartment and Fenway Park would do nothing other than advise me to go back indoors. We were nearly eight miles away from the massive investigation in Watertown. I had no car and therefore no way to get there. The news coverage was incessant, but nothing broke for over eight hours. More email, more Facebook. Messages from people I had not spoken to in years. The support was encouraging but exhausting. We waited. I was hungry for more than the peanut butter and bread that sat in a kitchen cupboard. The advisory was lifted a few minutes after 6 p.m. I walked into a grocery store that typically was not busy, but waited a half hour in the self-service line. Everybody was looking for somewhere to go. I walked back home, opened the door and saw the news on a muted TV the living room. Another shootout in Watertown. I dropped the groceries on the floor, prepared to receive an email about another cancelled bus trip. Fortunately that email never came. Three hours later the “U-S-A!” chants were back in the streets. Shouting and screaming were back in the right context. The wailing sirens sounded in clipped, celebratory bursts. Boston was eager to bring the marathon to a close like it had planned four days earlier. It was a welcomed but abrupt end to a week that still felt illusory. I was happy to wake up at 5 a.m. and ride the subway to a bus station. Public transportation was running. The city was familiar again. I knew that the story was not over. There was much more uncertainty, but I willfully suspended my skepticism. My concentration was spent. It rained early Saturday morning, and much of the lingering helplessness that remained in the air washed away. There would be more reports of suspicious packages and more building evacuations when I returned on Monday, but Saturday in Boston was rejuvenating by most accounts I heard. I boarded the Green Line’s D train at 5:40 a.m. Saturday morning. There were only two other people in the subway car. To get to the South Station Bus Terminal I needed to pass under Copley Square. As the train approached Copley its conductor clicked on the intercom, took an audible breath and explained: “The Copley stop will not be a part of any train’s service this weekend due to the tragic events of the marathon. We hope you and your loved ones are okay. Stay strong like our city.” Jason Lind moved to Martinez in the summer of 2006 from Gainesville, Florida. He attended Lakeside High School in Evans for two years before studying journalism and Spanish literature at the University of Georgia. Lind was a summer intern for the Spirit in 2009 and 2010 and a contributor in 2011. He now lives in Boston, working towards a masters degree in editorial sports journalism and teaching undergraduates at Boston University.
Tuesday, April 30 @ 7:00pm Covenant UMC 4536 Washington Road, in Eagle Point Plaza, between Walmart and Gibbs Road 14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
By Elizabeth C. Gorski / Edited by Will Shortz 20 Theater keepsake 26 Classic novel subtitled “Adventures in a Desert Island,” with “The” 30 “How sad” 33 Discombobulated 34 MTV’s early fan base 36 Vintage vehicle 38 A VHF channel 39 Ready, with “up” 42 “The Black Cat” writer 45 Collate 46 Medical suffix 51 Flat storage site 52 Daft 54 When repeated, a 1963 #2 hit 56 French 101 pronoun 57 Attach 59 Kiss alternative … or a hint to the starts of 3-, 5-, 10-, 14-, 26-, 64- and 68-Down 60 Good laughs 61 Points on a bus route 64 Light, fruity alcoholic drink 68 Flowering plant used to treat liver ailments 70 Waco-to-Austin dir. 75 Vial fluids 76 Actor ___ Patrick Harris 78 Got off the stage 82 Step aside, judicially 83 Approximately Down 86 John, to Elton John 1 Ring site 2 Lady Bird Johnson’s real first name 88 Breyers competitor 3 1984 “educational” Van Halen song 90 “The Good Wife” fig. 91 Kind of voyage? 4 Bump 5 1998 Grammy-nominated song by 92 “With any luck!” 93 Stopped playing games the Verve 96 Making, as one’s way 6 New York native 97 Place of peace and simplicity 7 Quaint stopovers 99 Makes over 8 Actress Long 101 Muse of astronomy 9 Paganini’s birthplace 104 Plays tug of war 10 Setting of Barbara Kingsolver’s 105 Scot’s language “The Poisonwood Bible” 106 “I’ll answer your questions” 11 Idolizes 111 Spurn, as a lover 12 It can have three or four legs 112 Monroe of the N.B.A. 13 Lump of coal, to Frosty 14 2012 film starring Johnny Depp as 113 Comedy routine 114 ___-rock a bloodsucker 116 “___ for Evidence” 15 Buttinsky 16 Like many basketball drills 17 No-good end? 83 Panther figurine material 84 51-Across forerunner 85 Carrier to Amsterdam 87 More spine-tingling 89 OPEC nation currency 91 Circus tent 94 Burns in the kitchen, maybe 95 Pontiac’s tribe 98 “I know the answer!” 99 Writer Santha Rama ___ 100 Response to “I promise I will” 102 Words of denial 103 Where cruisers cruise 107 Free 108 Pkg. insert 109 Phone pad letters 110 Pushy types? 111 Dutch painter Vermeer 112 Collection of Norse tales 113 Aunt of 1960s TV 115 Knitter’s stash 117 Dry as a bone 118 “The pleasure ___ mine” 119 Fragrant necklace 120 Estevez of Hollywood 121 Rice-A-___ 122 Apartment rental sign 123 Benefits agcy. 124 “They are,” in Spanish class 125 Org. for some good drivers
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Across 1 Parrot 5 Jumping-on-a-mattress sound 10 What hist. and econ. majors get 13 Pelé’s given name 18 Jesus, for one 19 Some navels 21 It starts every March in N.Y.C. 22 New Age pianist 23 “Bummer!” 24 One paying a flat rate 25 Mountain-climbing hazard 27 Actress Lorna 28 Contracted agreement 29 No longer fit in 31 “Kitchy-___!” 32 Lead-in to meter 33 2012 film title character who was computer-generated 34 Italian Renaissance composer Giovanni 35 Provoke 37 It’s high in West Africa 40 Some rechargeables 41 Worldly figure? 43 Odor-___ 44 Naval flier 47 Reach, as new heights 48 Sufficient, in “Macbeth” 49 Other-worldly? 50 Govt. agent 51 Surveillance org. 53 Join, in a way 55 Lasagna cheese 58 “Love Me, I’m a Liberal” singer 62 Party org. 63 “The Matrix” hero 64 Lb. and oz. 65 Linguist Chomsky 66 “Say that again?” 67 Chicago mayor Emanuel 69 Sitting area? 71 Broadway title role for Audrey Hepburn 72 TriBeCa neighbor 73 “The ___ Love” (R.E.M. hit) 74 “Of course, señor!” 75 ___ Balls (bygone snack cakes) 77 Sevilla cheer 79 Topper 80 Blackbird 81 Archer’s wood source
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OUR COOKIE CUTTER STAYS IN THE BACK OF THE DRAWER Elliott Sons Funeral Homes ELLIOTTFUNERALHOME.COM
AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Coming Soon to Evans! Opening May 2013
4349 Washington Road Across from Mellow Mushroom in front of Kroger
Phyllis Salazar Vice President & Ofﬁce Manager 706-650-2265 NMLS
AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Want to help Girls on the Run? They still need buddies, runners to accompany the third-eighth grade girls who will be running in this Saturday’s Spring 5K Celebration and Fundraiser at the Kroc Center. The race starts at 8 a.m. on April 27. Registration is $25 and packet pick-up is Friday, April 26, from 4-7 p.m. at Fleet Feet or at the Kroc Center before the race. Visit gotrcsra.org.
Mad Potters Sale will take place at the GRU Summerville campus, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Thursday-Saturday, April 25-27. Visit gru.edu. Social Canvas will be held at Morris Museum of Art, noon-4 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Local artists will create original paintings inspired by live music from Corduroy Road, JAMP, the JB Academy of Musik Pupils and Sure Eel. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Day trip to Flannery O’Connor’s hometown of Milledgeville will be held Tuesday, April 30. Morris Museum members $5; non-members $55. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Art Now Artist Talk: Jonathan Brilliant will be held at the Morris Museum, 6 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Music and cocktails in the galleries afterward. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Call for entries for A Sense of Place national juried fine arts competition is announced by the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art, through May 31. Eligible media are as follows: painting, drawing, mixed media, printmaking, photography, ceramics and sculpture. Call 706-722-5495, email crice@ ghia.org or visit ghia.org. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.
Georgia Regents University Senior Exit Exhibition will be held at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art, April 29-May 29. Features the work of BFA candidates Nina Daniels and Sarah Brown. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. “Tiny Worlds: Big Problem” will show at OddFellows Gallery as part of a World Voice Day celebration, through April 30. Features GRU’s patient art projects. After that, it will be moved to GRU Medical Center. Call 706-4464802 or visit gru.edu. Student artwork from North Augusta schools will exhibit May 2-17 at the Arts and Heritage Center. Free public reception and awards ceremony will be held Friday, May 3. Monetary awards for Best in Show, and First through Third Place in elementary, middle and high school divisions. Call 803-4414380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com. The Drawings of Rebecca Clark will be on exhibit at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through May 17. Her subject matter is the interconnected nature of the insects, animals and plants of her environment. Members free; non-members $5. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. “Restoration,” an exhibit of work by GRU adjunct instructor Mahera Khaleque, will be on display through May 17 at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art. Members, free; non-members, $5. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. 18 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Georgia Artists With Disabilities touring exhibit will be on display at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital through April 30. Call 706-823-8584 or visit whr.org. First Lady Ellen Axson Wilson and Her Circle exhibit will be shown at the Morris Museum until May 5. Opening lectures will be held 6-8 p.m., Sunday, April 28. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Davidson Fine Arts Magnet School Senior Exhibition will be held at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art through April 25. Call 706-722-5495 or visit ghia.org. “Alterations: Fashioning a Black Identity” exhibit will be presented by Nancy Wellington Bookhart at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History through April 30. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum.com. Millie Gosch art exhibit is on display at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through April 30. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org.
Chicken River Bluegrass Festival will take place at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion, Saturday, April 27. The event includes live bluegrass, craft beers, chicken and more. Admission free; beer band $3. Call 706-496-2535 or visit metrospirit.com. Blue Porch Revival will take place at the Old Academy of Richmond County building at 540 Telfair Street, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Call 706755-2878 or visit westoboufestival.com.
Rhonda Vincent and the Rage will be in concert at the USCA Convocation Center, 6:30 p.m., Saturday, April 27. $45, $27. Call 866-722-8877 or visit uscatix.com. Enduring Harmony, an Augusta Symphony Orchestra presentation featuring pianist Pascal Godart, is 7:30 p.m., Saturday, April 27, at 7:30 p.m. at First Baptist of Augusta. $10-$20.Call 706-826-4705 or visit soaugusta.org.
The Godfather of Soul James Brown exhibit is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.
GRU Wind Ensemble will perform at the GRU Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre, 7:30-9 p.m., Tuesday, April 30. Email email@example.com or call 706-667-4100.
“Romantic Spirits” exhibit, featuring paintings of the South from the Johnson collection, will be on display through May 26. Call 706-828-3825 or visit themorris.org.
Folk singer Janis Ian will perform at the Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center in Evans, 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, April 30. Doors open 6:30. Seventies attire encouraged. $30-$35. Visit augustaamusements.com.
“Tying the Knot,” a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, will be on exhibit at the Augusta Museum of History until May. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.
Alice in Chains will appear in concert at the Bell Auditorium, 7:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. $39.50-$49.50. Visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com.
Irish music benefit concert featuring Pat Broaders, Liz Knowles and Kieran O’Hare will be at the Enterprise Mill Event Center, 7:30 p.m., Thursday, April 25. $15 advance; $20 door. Benefits Press On, cure for childhood cancer fund. Call 706-267-5416. Orchestra Concerto Competition concert will be held at the GRU Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre, 7:30-9 p.m., Thursday, April 25. General admission $5; one free ticket with valid ASU/GHSU student or faculty/staff ID. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 706-667-4100. Pianist Michael Kaeshammer performs in concert at the Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center, 7:30 p.m., Friday, April 26. $30-$35. Call 706726-0366 or visit augustaamusements.com. Columbia County Choral Society will present Arthur Honegger’s “King David: A Symphonic Poem” at First Baptist Church of Evans, 7:30 p.m., Friday, April 26. $15. Call 706-868-7294 or visit ccchoralsociety.org. Hooked on Country with Justin Moore will be presented at the Bell Auditorium, 7 p.m., Friday, April 26. $35. Call 706-262-4567 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com.
Singer/actress Kat Graham of “The Vampire Diaries” will appear in concert at the Country Club Dancehall & Saloon, Thursday, May 2. Benefits the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, Augusta Chapter. General $10; VIP $25. Visit augustacountry.com. Augusta Canal Moonlight Music Cruises board at the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center, 6 p.m., each Friday in April. Participants are invited to bring aboard snacks and beverages and enjoy live music for an hour and a half along the scenic canal. $25; reservations required. Visit augustacanal.com. Amateur Series Sign-up will be held at the Columbia County Amphitheatre through April 27. Free to sign up. Performances will take place Fridays in June, with finale on July 12. Visit ccamateurseries.com.
North Augusta Friends Spring Book Sale Nancy Carson Library, North Augusta, 10:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Friday, and 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., April 26-27. Call 803-279-5757 or visit abbe-lib.org. Author Sasscer Hill presents new horse racing mystery, “The Sea Horse Trade,” at the Aiken Library, 3-4 p.m., Sunday, April 27. Call 803-6422020 or visit abbe-lib.org.
MODERATIONkey Chef and Gold’s Gym member Vera Stewart loves food and working out
Vera Stewart is a household name in Augusta. A wife, mother and former teacher, Vera parlayed the cooking skills she learned from her grandmother (also named Vera) into a catering business called Vera & Company in 1984. Today, her company is called Very Vera and it is an empire. Her mail-order cakes, pastries and savory items are known nationwide. In 2009, her strawberry cake was featured in O Magazine as one of Oprah Winfrey’s favorite things. In 2010, she beat celebrity chef Bobby Flay in a carrot cake challenge on his “Throwdown!” show on the Food Network. Vera has her own show that airs Saturdays on NBC 26 and sells her products everywhere from the Home Shopping Network and Costco to Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue and Bloomingdales. Now, the southern cooking that Vera specializes in, not to mention the decadent cakes that have made her a household name, are not known for their moderation when it comes to butter, flour and sugar. So, upon meeting Vera for the first time, many are surprised at how fit she is. According to this local celebrity, she’s never really had a problem with her weight. She has, however, begun putting more of an emphasis on being healthy in recent years. “I guess back in the days I was having children I had to get that baby fat off, but I’m more fit today at 60 than I’ve ever been in my life,” she said. “My goal at 49 was to be really fit at 50 and, working on that through weight training and changing some things in terms of habits, I found that I just loved the way I felt. The way I felt was primary; secondary became how I started to look. But it is still primarily how I feel.” Working out, which she does at Gold’s Gym, makes
Vera feel great. She works out Monday through Friday for anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half, leaving her weekends free for family, travel and other commitments. She meets with a trainer twice a week and, the other three days, does a combination of cardio and weight circuit training. “I start with cardio and do the circuit through the machines,” Vera explained. “Monday I do legs, on Wednesday I do abs and Friday I do arms and upper body. I don’t work out on the weekends anymore. Well, I take that back. On Sunday afternoon I do yoga.” Vera’s stamina because of her exercise routine has allowed her to do things that many her age wouldn’t even consider. Last year, for instance, she competed in Dancing Stars of Augusta, a benefit for the Georgia chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. “I scored a 10, a 9 and a 9, but I didn’t win,” she laughed. “I came in third in money raised, though.” And even though she was extremely fit, she found training for the dancing competition tougher than she expected. “Oh yeah, it’s just like everything,” she said. “You think you’re so physically fit, but you find out that you just have to build up when you make a change.” Speaking of change, Vera said her emphasis of fitness that began more than a decade ago has had absolutely no effect on her eating habits. Moderation, she said, is the key in that department. “I certainly don’t sit around and eat cake all day long, but if I decide that I want to have a slice of it I’m going to have a slice,” she explained. “For me, I’m think more like a diabetic would about food, although I’m not one. It’s kind of like, I’m going to splurge on the purse but I’m going to go to Target and buy
the dress. You’re going to look good in the dress but people are going to notice the bag. It’s the same with food. I may have that slice but I’ll change something else the next day.” Vera, it seems, is pragmatic in her thinking, both about food and exercise. “I don’t get in a tailspin about eating that piece of cake,” she said. “I don’t make a comment about it. I enjoy it and then it’s done.” The same goes for the times that she has to skip a workout. An early-morning riser, Vera often has her workout done before she heads to her shop on Washington Road. Most days she’s there at 8:30 a.m. but, because she’s so popular with her customers, meetings often cause her to move things around. “People say, ‘I can’t believe your alarm goes off at 4:30 in the morning’ and I’m just used to it,” she said. “If I have a breakfast meeting, that’s going to be hard for me. I have to miss [working out] on that day and, by 3 o’clock on a day that I didn’t go, I’m sinking. I just know I’m going to muster through that day. I will tell you that if somebody tells me what time they want to meet with me and I know that it’s going to interfere with my workout, I have that little moment of hesitation because I don’t like to change that. But sometimes you just have to suck it up.” Living life in moderation, she said, will ensure that the days that don’t work in your favor will be the minority and that everything will work out in the end. “I don’t use the word diet,” she said. “I truly believe that if you can get to that balance about the way you live your life with food and exercise, if it can be about the way you feel, that goes straight to your head and that can give you the willpower to keep at it.”
Vera’s Favorite Food
Vera Stewart believes in moderation, but there are a few things that even she can’t resist. “I’m going to love anything chocolate,” she admitted. “That is definitely a weakness, whether it’s a dark chocolate covered peanut or my German chocolate cake. That’s my favorite cake. Everybody wants the strawberry or the caramel cake, but the German chocolate to me is out of this world.” And though she loves chocolate, Vera said there is one thing she loves even more, something that may come as a surprise to those who think they know her. “If I was told that I could only have one food for the rest of my life it would be crunchy peanut butter,” she laughed. “I could live off that and wouldn’t miss a thing. I could eat that every day.”
no commitment | month - to - month
*Amenities vary by location. Walton Way is $19.99 per month. Additional fees may apply.
GOLD’S GYM: MAY 2013 |p.3
Summersalad These salads from Andrew Swallow, co-founder of eco-gourmet restaurant Mixt Greens, make getting your greens a whole lot more fun. Health.com digs in.
MÂCHE WITH SUMMER LEMON CUCUMBERS AND LYCHEE
Tender greens, delicate mushrooms, crunchy cucumber and fragrant lychee fruit make this an especially refreshing salad. And with only 241 calories, it won’t weigh you down. Calories: 241 Fat: 14 grams Ingredients 1/4 cup rice wine vinegar 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 1/2 teaspoon sugar 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt, plus more to taste 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1 pint fresh or 1 (16-ounce) can lychees, rinsed 1 (3.5-ounce) package enoki mushrooms 8 ounces mâche lettuce 1 pint mixed cherry tomatoes, halved 2 lemon cucumbers, sliced into half-moons* 1 English cucumber Preparation 1. To make dressing, whisk together first three ingredients (through sugar) in a bowl. Add oil in a thin stream, whisking constantly. Season with salt and pepper; set aside. 2. Peel and chop lychees. Gently separate mushrooms from one another. 3. For each serving, toss 1 cup mâche with some cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, lemon cucumber and English cucumber with 1 tablespoon dressing in a bowl. Top with 1 teaspoon chopped lychees and a dash of sea salt. (Add more lychees if you’d like a stronger floral flavor.) *Note: If you can’t find lemon cucumbers, use 8 red radishes.
Founded in San Francisco in 2005, Mixt Greens is a restaurant devoted to making great salads using local and organic ingredients. They’ve now expanded to six locations and have served over a million pounds of lettuce. Here are three of their summer favorites.
SUMMER MELON WITH FIG AND PROSCIUTTO
The luscious, fleshy fruit gives this classic combo a refreshing twist. Calories: 212 Fat: 7 grams Ingredients 1 Sharlyn melon, peeled, seeded and cut into medium cubes (about 4 cups)* 1 honeydew melon, peeled, seeded and cut into medium cubes (about 4 cups) 1 cantaloupe, peeled, seeded and cut into medium cubes (about 4 cups) 3 ounces prosciutto di Parma, julienned 1 bunch basil 8 fresh dark-skinned figs, trimmed and quartered 1/4 pound arugula 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 1 (4-ounce) block ricotta salata, shaved, for garnish 1 tablespoon crushed red pepper, for garnish Preparation For each serving, place 1/2 cup of each melon in the center of the plate; place about 1/3 ounce prosciutto on top of the melon, followed by a few basil leaves, 4 fig quarters, and a few arugula leaves. Drizzle each serving with a little olive oil, and garnish with the shaved ricotta salata and a dash of crushed red pepper. *Note: If you can’t find Sharlyn melon, use extra honeydew or cantaloupe.
FILET MIGNON WITH ROQUEFORT AND RED LEAF
This steak-and-potatoes dish is guaranteed to make salad lovers out of the staunchest meat eaters. Calories: 441 Fat: 27 grams Ingredients 2 large Yukon Gold potatoes, diced 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 4 thyme sprigs 2 rosemary sprigs, roughly chopped 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard 1 teaspoon chopped fresh garlic 1 teaspoon sliced shallot 1 teaspoon honey 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves 1 teaspoon sugar 1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon canola oil, divided 1/4 teaspoon sea salt, divided 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, divided 1 large yellow onion, chopped 4 (6-ounce) prime filet mignon steaks 2 heads red leaf lettuce, leaves separated 2 large tomatoes, quartered and sliced 1/4 pound Roquefort blue cheese, crumbled Preparation 1. Preheat oven to 375° and grill to high. 2. Toss first four ingredients (through rosemary sprigs); place on a baking sheet. Roast the potatoes for 25 minutes or until golden; set aside. 3. Combine vinegar and next six ingredients (through sugar) in a blender. Add 1/2 cup oil in a thin stream; blend. Add 1/8 teaspoon each salt and pepper; set aside. 4. While potatoes roast, heat remaining 1 tablespoon oil in a pan over medium heat. Sauté onion 10-12 minutes or until caramelized; set aside. 5. Season steaks with remaining salt and pepper. Reduce grill to medium-high; cook steaks for about seven minutes per side or until desired degree of doneness. Remove from grill; let rest 3 minutes before slicing into 1-inch cubes. 6. Toss lettuce with tomato and blue cheese; add the potatoes and onion. Drizzle with dressing; toss. Top with steak; serve.
Get to know Gold’s Gym’s group fitness managers
Group Fitness Manger, Walton Way Gold’s Gym
I was born and raised in Augusta. I graduated from North Augusta High School and Augusta State University. I’m divorced. Well, actually, I’m engaged but not divorced and engaged at the same time. I have one little girl named Savana, who is 8 years old.
How She Got Into the Fitness Business I always played sports and stuff [growing up] and it’s actually kind of a weird story. I have a business degree and I used to own a bunch of convenience stores in the valley. My husband and I had a heating and air business. I’ve always been a business owner and then after I had Savana, I felt horrible about myself and I joined this gym. I had never really been in a gym before and came in here and they signed me up and I was so excited. And then the first time I come in here to work out, I get on a piece of equipment and I’m like, “Okay, what do I do now?” So this girl walked up to me. Her name’s Jennifer and she was the group fitness manager of this club. And she walked up to me and said, “Hey. What’s your name?” And I said, “Uhhhh… Amy.” And she said, “Amy, you’re coming to BodyPump tonight” and she walked away. And then, as she walked away, she turned around and said, “And by the way, you’re on that machine backwards.” And I was like, “Oh! Okay! Thanks.” I was sitting on it backwards. I always joke with her that that was a defining moment in my life.” Well, about a week later, Jennifer approached me and said, “I want you to get certified” and I was like, “Okay.” So within a month I was certified in BodyPump and started teaching here and then it from there it spiraled out of control. I got certified in Combat and RPM and just kept on and kept on and got certified as a master practitioner trainer and started training and just fell in love with it. What Kinds of Classes Does the Walton Way Location Offer We have a variety of classes, mostly Les Mills, because we’re a Les Mills club, so we have BodyPump, BodyCombat, RPM, we have CX Worx, Funk
Aerobics, Shabam and Zumba. Shabam is kind of like Zumba but it’s a Les Mills version. In my opinion, it’s far more active. Shabam is very structured and it’s a fun way to work out. And people need that these days. Sometimes it’s hard to get in the gym and do things. Her Favorite Class BodyCombat, that’s my favorite. You know, you’re in there punching and kicking and really just working out whatever’s bothering you. And at the end of the day, it’s a fun way to do that. It beats getting on the treadmill for an hour. The classes are so huge and people get so involved. We have such a big following. But you imagine having a really hard day and then being able to walk in a room and just punch it out. It’s just a powerful class. Not to mention it’s one of the highest calorie burns, so you can get on the treadmill and burn 200 or 300 calories an hour or you can go in that class and burn close to a thousand calories in the same amount of time. What About the Job Does She Love? I do it because people need help. I needed help when I was sitting on that piece of equipment. I had no earthly idea what I was doing. The kind of feedback we get from what we do is incredible. It’s one of the most incredible things I’ve ever done and I just fell in love with it. I’m also a manager for the training company here so it’s just my life. My little girl is picking up on it and she’s active. It’s just the way that we do things. My dad’s 80 years old and he runs two miles every day. It’s a pretty cool life.” What She Likes to Do When She’s Not Working What is that? When I’m not working? [Laughs.] We spend a lot of time outside. I don’t watch TV; I don’t
even know the shows that come on. I like to spend time with my little girl; she’s incredible. And my friends and family are really, really important to me and some of my very best friends came out of this job here and it’s what surrounds my entire life, so I just like spending time with people and living when I’m not here. But I don’t consider this work, so I get paid to do what I like.
GOLD’S GYM: MAY 2013 |p.5
Group Fitness Manager, Aiken Gold’s Gym
I’ve been with Gold’s Gym for seven years, always at Aiken. Lives in Aiken. I moved to Aiken seven years ago and I had been in Gold’s Gyms in North Carolina at Winston-Salem. I moved here because of my parents. We have a horse farm. We have 10, babies to big ones. I’m not married. I have a Jack Russell Terrier named Spencer and I have my horses and my parents and I am an accountant by trade, so I am project accountant out at the WSB site at Savannah River Site. How She Got Into the Fitness Business Well, I was in graduate school in Oklahoma and I always went and worked out. I’d been a college athlete, I played college tennis and had always done that exercise thing and when I got in graduate school I got to know some of the instructors at the gym I went to and they kept coaxing me: “Come on, you need to get certified.” I did and started teaching out there and taught, personal trained — did personal training full time for a while — then I moved back to North Carolina and I worked for two Gold’s Gyms up there and did personal training full-time, nutrition and taught and was the group fitness manager for those gyms.
What Kinds of Classes Does the Aiken Location Offer The program at Gold’s Gym in Aiken is really large; we have about 60 classes a week. We have two studios and a pool. Well, three studios. We have two regular studios, a cycling studio and a pool, so I have a lot to handle as far as keeping instructors going and getting people certified and making sure everything’s smooth on the schedule. I teach probably anywhere from 5-10 classes a week. We have the Les Mills programs, which include BodyPump, BodyCombat, BodyStep, BodyAttack, CX Worx. We have Aqua Zumba and Zumba Fitness, basically your fitness aqua classes for the pool. We have regular Zumba and we have yoga and cycling, the Les Mills RPM. Her Favorite Class I love cycling and I love BodyPump. And I teach BodyStep, so I enjoy that too. It’s a little bit harder as far as the choreography and it’s not for everybody, but I like that class. What She Likes to Do When She’s Not Working I don’t sit around. I get really bored. I usually get in trouble if I have to sit around. When I’m not working, I am at the barn with my horses and yesterday I did a United Way run with some classmates, the people who come to the gym, and I just try and support the community.
Group Fitness Manager, North Augusta Gold’s Gym
I am from Goodman, Mississippi, and I lived there until I got married. My husband was active-duty Air Force so we moved all around the world and he just retired in August of 2012 and we moved here. He got a job at Fort Gordon as a civilian. We’ve got two kids, two teenage boys, 16 and 17, and I’ve been married… it’ll be 21 years in July.
How She Got Into the Fitness Business I had been teaching Freestyle since 2001 and then, in 2009, I took my first BodyPump certification class. It was actually my first time even taking a BodyPump class. I had no idea what it even was, and I immediately fell in love with Les Mills and BodyPump so, over the next few years, I got certified. I got certified in BodyPump in San Antonio, Texas; BodyFlow in Vacaville, California; RPM, CX-Worx and BodyCombat at Holloman Air Force Base in New Mexico. And then we moved here. Part of our agreement was that my husband could only retire in a place that had Les Mills. I found Gold’s and never had to look anywhere else. I started teaching a little bit here at Gold’s and then they needed a group fitness manager and everything fell into place. I never set foot in another gym in this area. I feel like I walked in and it was home, so I’m very thankful for that. What She Does Outside the Gym I ran track and was a cheerleader at school and then, up until I started teaching, I did mostly running for my fitness. I’ve run a few marathons and I did the Augusta Half Ironman last September. I’m training for that again in September. I like to dabble in sports, but I’m teaching so much that I can’t train as much as I should. Ideally, I would train more for the triathlons and runs but there’s
only so many hours of physical activity one can handle in a week. But the classes help, especially with RPM. RPM was my main training for the last Ironman and it will be the same this time. What Kinds of Classes Does the North Augusta Location Offer We offer BodyPump, BodyCombat, RPM, CX Worx, BodyFlow and Shabam, which is a new dance type of workout. Her Favorite Class My favorite is RPM. I just love the intensity. It’s low to zero impact, so I can get a high-intensity workout without damaging my joints. I just loved the adrenaline and the fact that it helps me train for the outdoor riding as well. What About the Job Does She Love? I like being able to help other instructors achieve their goals, mentor them, help them figure out where they want to move with their teaching. I like to provide feedback so they can get where they want to be. I also like having a little more control over the schedule to really try and tweak that. It’s like an evolving puzzle that you’re always trying to make work best for the members. But having worked in gyms and being subject to whatever the schedule was, it’s kind of nice to be able to have a little bit more control in that area. Is Her Family Finally Ready to Settle Down? There’s no reason for us to move. The kids definitely want to finish high school because they had changed so many years. My son went to a different school from fourth to ninth grade every year. So we’ll definitely be here for three more years. We love Augusta. We have family in the area as well, so it’s nice to be close to home.
RAISIN’Kane Don’t Stop Running
Carter Ward is 7. His sister, Mary Blake, is 5. Four days after the Boston Marathon tragedy, Carter and Mary Blake wanted to make a difference. They took all of the coins from their piggy banks and put them in a ziplock bag. The curly haired blonde siblings then came to the Run for Boston with their mom, Ashlynn, and donated every penny they had to the victims and their families of the Boston Marathon bombings. At this very moment, I smiled in amazement and realized the Run for Boston was already a success. Carter and Mary Blake’s coins proved that. Some of my very best friends are runners. They are loyal and will do anything for you. I was reminded of this shortly after the first bomb went off at the Boston Marathon. We immediately started to text, Facebook message and call each other to make sure our local runners participating in the Boston Marathon were okay. Thankfully, all of them escaped with no injuries. After a few hours of watching the Boston Marathon coverage, I couldn’t take it anymore. I posted on Facebook that I was going to run 2.5 miles at the Augusta Canal. The significance of 2.5 was to mark the time the first bomb went off at 2:50 p.m. I invited my Facebook friends to join me. At that moment, holding an impromptu tribute run to honor the victims and their families felt right. As I was driving home from the canal, I thought “we” as a community could do more. I wasn’t alone. Augusta State Cross Country coach Adam Ward offered his help. Brian and Heather Killips were on board. Heather DiCicco then sent me an email that made me believe that we could organize a community run only four days
after the Boston Marathon tragedy. She coordinates the Triple 8 Group runs every Saturday morning and knew exactly what needed to be done in such a short period of time. After numerous Facebook messages, radio interviews, television stories and newspaper articles, the Run for Boston took place on Saturday, April 20, and the starting point was the downtown Augusta Market on 8th Street. The run/walk lasted only 2.5 miles, but the memories of that morning will last a lifetime. Three local Boston Marathon runners were invited to participate in the run and speak about their experience in Boston. Barb Rose, Tina Stutt and Dr. Michael Rogers eloquently put that tragic day in perspective. Tears were flowing freely as the group listened intently to every word uttered. Two firemen showed up in full gear and ran 2.5 miles with oxygen tanks strapped to their backs. It was a wonderful tribute and a great reminder as to who the real heroes are. There was also a gentleman with one leg who made his way around the course. It was incredible to watch. When it was all said and
done, an estimated 400 people showed up for the Run for Boston. More than $5,000 in donations was collected for the Boston Marathon victims and their families. Every penny goes to the Boston One fund. And yes, this includes Carter and Mary Blake Ward’s pennies. As their mom told me, “These two will always know that the races and running will still go on.” Thank you Augusta for showing Boston that our community cares. #dontstoprunning. Chris Kane is a Golds Gym member and co-anchor for Good Morning Augusta and News Channel 6 at noon
^ Chris Kane and Heather DiCicco, Run for Boston organizers.
per month h
no commitment | month - to - month
*Amenities vary by location. Walton Way is $19.99 per month. Additional fees may apply.
AUGUSTA TIME 5:30AM 9:00AM 10:00am 11:00am 12:00PM 4:30PM 5:30PM
6:30PM 6:45PM 7:30pm
GOLD’S GYM: MAY 2013 |p.7
ZUMBA - 3PM
AUGUSTA TIME 5:30AM 8:30AM 9:00AM 9:30pm 10:00AM 10:30am 4:30PM 5:30PM
zumba/sh'bam zumba/sh'bam cxworx
power yoga - 3pm
6:00PM zumba 6:30PM 7:00PM 7:30pm
power yoga zumba
AIKEN TIME 5:30AM 8:30AM
TUESDAY power ride pilates
aqua fit ZUMBA
THURSDAY power ride
FRIDAY CXWORX (6AM)
aqua fit zumba
zumba aqua fit
ZUMBA aqua zumba
CXWORX (45) 10:00AM 11:00am 5:30PM 5:45pm 6:00PM
yoga stretch line dancing
yoga stretch line dancing
CX worx 6:30PM 7:00PM
“Once Upon This Island” musical will be presented by the Richmond Academy Players at ARC 7 p.m., Thursday through Saturday, April 25-27. Call 706-7377152 or visit rcboe.org. “The Nerd,” a production of the Aiken Community Playhouse, shows Friday-Saturday, April 26-27, at 8 p.m. and Sunday, April 28, at 3 p.m. at the URS Center for the Performing Arts. It also shows May 4, 10 and 11 at 8 p.m. and May 5 at 3 p.m. $7-$20. Call 803648-1438 or visit aikencommunityplayhouse.info. Missoula Children’s Theatre’s production of “Blackbeard the Pirate” will be held in Alexander Hall, Fort Gordon’s Youth Services Gym, Building 45410, 1:30 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Free. Email email@example.com. “Job: A Postmodern Opera of Biblical Proportions” will be presented at Gracewood First Baptist Church by The Company of Job, 6 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Call 706-793-7634 or visit fbcgracewood.org. Cirque du Soleil will perform “Quidam” at the James Brown Arena, 7:30 p.m., Tuesday and Wednesday, April 30-May 1. $30-$97. Call 706-262-4573 or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. Crew call for Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre production of “The Fox on the Fairway.” Set construction is 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday for the next few weeks. In need of volunteers handy with tools. Email firstname.lastname@example.org for info.
“Hope Springs” will show at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta, 7-8:40 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Bring your own refreshments. Call 803-279-5757 or visit abbe-lib.org.
Uncork to Support wine tasting and silent auction will be held at the Boll Weevil by the Red Shoe Society to support the Ronald McDonald House Charities of Augusta, 5:30-8 p.m., Thursday, April 25. Red Shoe members free; non-members $15. Must be 21 to enter. Visit facebook.com/redshoeaugusta.
$7 and $12. Visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com. Rodeo Nights by the Southeastern Firefighters Burn Foundation will be held at the Columbia County Merchants Association Fairgrounds, 7:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday, April 26-27. Gates open 5:30 p.m. Live music, bull riding, barrel racing, fair food, pony rides, petting zoo. Adults $10 advance, $14 gate; kids $5 advance, $8 gate. First responders and military free on Friday. Benefits the families of patients at the Still Burn Center at Doctors Hospital. Call 706-650-2876. Earth Day Celebration events will be held at Brick Pond Park in North Augusta, beginning 10 a.m., Saturday, April 27. Free. Call 803-441-4380. Mom Knows Best and Dr. Mom Knows Even Better! a special event at Doctors Hospital featuring Dr. Marianne Neifert, panel discussions, vendor booths and more is 9 a.m.-1 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Free. Registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Holistic Fair will be held at the Warren Road Community Center, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Saturday, April 27. $5. Kids 10 and under free. Proceeds benefit the Fort Gordon Fisher House. Call 706-736-3377 or visit facebook. com/bodymindspiritfest. Beech Island Tour will be held 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Homes, churches, cemeteries and museums will be toured in 15 stops. General admission $25, seniors $20 day of the tour. Advance tickets are $5 off. Email email@example.com, or call 803-827-0184 or 803-867-3600, or visit beechislandhistory.org. Free document shredding will be held in the parking lot of the Goodwill shopping center on Fury’s Ferry Road, 11 a.m.-1 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Each household is permitted up to three boxes of documents. Call 202423-3581, email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit goodwillworks.org. Pastor retirement celebration for the Rev. Dr. Nathaniel Irvin, Sr. of the Old Storm Branch Baptist Church, will take place at 4 p.m., Sunday, April 28. Call 803-279-6009.
Take Back the Night Rally against sexual violence will be held at the GRU Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre, 6-8 p.m., Thursday, April 25. Email email@example.com, call 706-737-1471, or visit calendar.gru.edu.
“Jewish Cuba in 2013” presentation will be given by Leah Ronen, at Augusta Jewish Community Center, 7 p.m., Tuesday, April 30. The AJF executive director discusses her recent visit to the Jewish community in Havana, Cuba. Call 706-228-3636 or visit augustajcc.org.
Sacred Heart Garden Festival Preview Party will be held at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center, 7 p.m., Thursday, April 25. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartgardenfestival.com.
Dr. Ricardo Azziz, GRU president and GRHS CEO, will address the GRU community to provide updates on university initiatives, at the GRU Auditoria Center, noon, Tuesday, April 30. Reception to follow. Visit gru.edu.
Wine seminar will be held at Wine World in North Augusta, 7-9 p.m., Friday, April 26. Taste 11 Rhone Valley wines, ranging from $16 to $72 per bottle, while Aleph Wines CEO Jean-Pierre Chambas shares his knowledge and enthusiasm. Reservations recommended. $20 advance; $25 at door. Call 803279-9522 or visit wineworldsc.com.
Consign for Kids consignment and rummage sale to benefit the Children’s Hospital of Georgia is accepting donations and will begin with a volunteer sale, 5-9 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Call 706-231-0431.
Alumni Weekend: A Celebration of Our Alumni – Past, Present and Future will be presented by GRU, Friday through Sunday, April 26-28. Keynote speaker is ABC journalist Bob Woodruff, who was severely injured while covering the war in Iraq. He will speak 6 p.m., Saturday, April 27, at the Imperial Theatre. Visit gru. edu/alumniweekend/. Sacred Heart Garden Festival will be held at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Friday and Saturday, April 26-27, and 11 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday, April 28. A springtime celebration of classic Southern gardening. See garden and floral displays; buy unique plants; shop at the marketplace; learn from garden experts and tour extraordinary private gardens. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartgardenfestival.com. Monster X truck rally will be held at the James Brown Arena, 7:30 p.m., April 26-27. Adults $20-$42; children 18APRIL2013
First Thursday at Midtown Market, featuring shopping, snacks, drinks, sales and more, takes place 5-8 p.m., May 2 at the shops on Kings Way. Call 706-922-5000. Evans Towne Farmers Market is held on the grounds of the Columbia County Public Library each Thursday through June from 4:30-7 p.m. All meats, eggs, dairy and produce will be from local and sustainable farms. There will also be cooking demos and education, local artisans with handcrafted goods, live music, local food vendors and weekly events. Visit evanstownefarmersmarket.com. Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:30-6:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Saturday Market at the River is each Saturday through Nov. 23 from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. at the 8th Street Bulkhead downtown and features vendors, food, drinks, entertainment and a group run that begins at 8 a.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from 1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit csrahappytails.com.
Mobile Mammography Screenings will be held 8 a.m.-3 p.m. the following dates and locations: Belle Terrace Health & Wellness, Thursday, April 25; University Hospital, Friday, April 26. Free through Medicare. Appointment required. Call 706-774-4149 or toll-free 866-774-4141. Babies, Bumps and Bruises will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 7-8:30 p.m., Thursday, April 25. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Introduction to Infant CPR class will meet in the University Hospital lobby, 7-8:30 p.m., Thursday, April 25. Registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Diabetes and Your Feet will be offered by University Hospital, at Savannah Rapids Pavilion, 6-7:30 p.m., Thursday, April 25. Free. Light refreshments. Reservations required. Call 706-722-9011 or visit universityhealth.org.
Toronto’s Michael Kaeshammer will sing and play piano Friday, April 26, at 7:30 p.m. at the Jabez S. Hardin Performing Arts Center. $30-$35. Call 706-726-0366 or visit augustaamusements.com.
Cardiac screening for young athletes will be offered by University Hospital at A.R. Johnson Magnet School, 9 a.m.-noon, April 27. Athletes must be school-based and in grades 6-12. Registration required. Call 706-7748870 or visit universityhealth.org. Ready and Able childbirth class (2 of 5) will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 7-9:30 p.m., Tuesday, April 30. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Center for Women Tour will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 7-8 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Intended for both partners. Get acquainted with the center and have your questions labor and delivery questions answered. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Cribs for Kids class will meet at the Safe Kids Office, Thursday, May 2. Teaches caregivers how to provide a safe sleep environment by showing what dangers to watch out for. $10. Families who can demonstrate a financial need (Medicare, Peachcare or WICC) will receive a portable crib, fitted sheet, sleep sac and a pacifier. Registration required. Call 706-7217606 or visit gru.edu/safekids. Powerful Tools for Caregivers class will be offered at Doctors Hospital, 2-3:30 p.m., Thursdays, through May 23. Provides tools for caregivers to assist and support an elderly or chronically ill loved one. For more information, call 706-651-2490 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Yoga Class is offered by the Kroc Center every Saturday at The Augusta Market downtown, 10-11 a.m. Free. Bring your own mat. Call 706-3645762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Yoga I offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken 8:45-9:45 a.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays; Yoga II is offered 8:45-9:45 a.m., Fridays; Evening Yoga is offered 5:30-6:30 p.m., Mondays and Wednesdays. $41 for 10 tickets. Call 803-642- 7631. Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706 394-0590, email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html. Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; nonmembers, $5. Pre-registration required. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is held every Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Free. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation program covers topics such as coronary artery disease, heart attack and CHF at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute. Program is held each Wednesday at 8:15 and 9:15 a.m., and 1:45 p.m. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org. Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $11; non-members $22. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. 28 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; non members, $20. Call 706-922-9662 or visit thefamilyy.org.
Insulin Pumpers diabetes support group will meet in the University Hospital Cafeteria, 6-7 p.m., Thursday, April 25. Free. No registration. Call 706-868-3027 or visit universityhealth.org. Cancer Share, a support group for all those who have been diagnosed with cancer, meets at the University Hospital Breast Health Center 6-7:30 p.m., Monday, April 29. Call 706-774-8308. Multiple Sclerosis Support Group meets at the Georgia Regents Medical Center, 6-7:30 p.m., Monday, April 29. Call 706-721-8664 or visit gru.edu/classes. Spine Education and Support Group will be held at the University Hospital Levi Hill III Auditorium 1-2:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. Free. Call 706-7742760 or visit universityhealth.org. “The Lunch Bunch,” a support group for those who have lost a loved one, meets at Aiken Regional Medical Centers cafeteria, noon-1 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. Bring or purchase a lunch. Registration required. Call 803-641-5389 or visit aikenregional.com. Cancer Support Group meets in the parlor of First Baptist Church, 3-4 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. No registration required. Call 803-641-5389 or 803-649-5433, or visit aikenregional.com. Alzheimer’s Support Group will be held at the Kroc Center 10 a.m., Thursday, May 2. Call 706-731-9060 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Weight Loss Support Group, for anyone suffering ailments due to obesity, will meet in the Sister Mary Louise Conference Room at Trinity Hospital, 7 p.m., Thursday, May 2. Call 706-481-7298 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Overeaters Anonymous meets at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church, 7:30 p.m., Tuesdays and at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. Call 907-854-1509. AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org. Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331.
Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636. Alcoholics Anonymous open discussion meeting takes place every Sunday and Wednesday, 7:15 p.m. at Aurora Pavilion in Aiken. Call 806-641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com/hospital-services/behavioral-health-services. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-6516660 or visit doctors- hospital.net. Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org. Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706855- 2419.
Digital Camera Workshop for adults and teens will be offered at the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Features SLR and advanced point-and-shoot. Bring your camera and manual. Members $54; non-members $60. Call 706-722-5495, email email@example.com or visit ghia.org. “Southern Cooking” Brown Bag History Talk will be held at Augusta Museum of History, 12:30-1 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. Bring a lunch. Beverages provided. Members free; non-members $3. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Tax workshop for startup businesses will be held in the Penland Administrative Building at USCA, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. Free. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 803-641-3646. Advanced Sign Language Classes will be held at University Hospital, 7-8:30 p.m., Thursdays, through May 30. $40 per person, per class; $40 for textbook. Call 706-774-8559 or visit universityhealth.org. Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by GRU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit gru.edu. GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. 18APRIL2013
English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 6-7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.
Triple 8 Group Run meets at 8th and Reynolds, 8 a.m., every Saturday through Oct. 26. Choose your distance: 3, 6 or 8 miles. Open to everyone. Visit theaugustamarket.com.
Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to public. Visit fortgordon.toastmastersclubs.org.
Adult swim lessons are offered at the Family Y of Downtown Augusta for ages 13 and up. Days and times vary by branch. Members $55 per month; nonmembers $85 per month. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.
Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office cciaugusta.org or visit cciaugusta.org. Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta aboard the Lady Libby boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 1:30 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends, including the legend of the famous Haunted Pillar. $12, including admission to the museum. Reservations required 24 hours in advance. Call 706722-8454 or visit augustaga.org. Tours of the Boyhood Home of President Woodrow Wilson are held regularly. Adults $5; seniors $4; kids K-12 $3; under 5 years free. Reservations required for groups of 10 or more. Call 706-722-9828.
Kids Restart Golf Tournament will be held at the Forest Hills Golf Course, 12:30 p.m., Friday, April 26. Registration 10:30 a.m. $85 per person; $240 per team. Call 706-828-0180 or visit kidsrestart.org. 5K fundraiser for Girls on the Run, a local developmental program for girls in grades 3-8, culminating in the girls participating in their firstever 5K event, will begin at the Kroc Center, 8 a.m., Saturday, April 27. $25. Registration begins at Fleet Feet Sports, 4-7 p.m., Friday, April 26. Final registration is 6:45-7:30 a.m. on race day. You may also sign up as a running buddy, a running partner who runs, cheers and encourages a girl during the event. Visit gotrcsra.org. Benderdinker, a non-competitive paddle on the river, will be held on Bettyâ€™s Branch at the Savannah River, 8:30 a.m., Saturday, April 27 and features live music from local bands and food. Call 706-868-3349 or visit benderdinker.com. Good Boats for Goodwill Dragon Boat Festival will take place at Lake Olmstead, 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Free. Call 706-650-5760 or visit goodboats.org. Clean Enough to Drink?, part of the Augusta Canal Discovery Walk series, will begin at the Lake Olmstead bulkhead Saturday, April 27, at 10 a.m. and Sunday, April 28, at 3 p.m. $2; Canal Keeper members, free. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 2 or visit augustacanal.com. Night Hike and marshmallow roast will be held at Mistletoe State Park, Saturday, April 27. There will be a marshmallow roast around the campfire and a walk through the night woods. $5 parking. Call 706-5410321 or visit gastateparks.org/mistletoe. The Soul City Sirens Augusta roller derby team will host the Rome Rollergirls at Red Wing Rollerway, 6 p.m., Sunday, April 28. $10 advance, $15 door. Kids under 12 free. Folding chairs recommended. Visit soulcitysirens.com. Augusta GreenJackets will play at the Lake Olmstead Stadium, 2-7 p.m., Wednesday and Thursday, May 1-2. Call 706-736-7889. 18APRIL2013
Across from K-MARTÂ‡
Next to Red LobsterÂ‡
Olympic-style Tae Kwon Do, taught by Master Michael L. Weintraub, is each Tuesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.com. Tae Kwon Do is offered at the Wilson Family Y, Family Y of Augusta South and Family Y of North Augusta. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Raeâ€™s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email email@example.com. Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706- 556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mamaâ€™s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesdayâ€™s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesdayâ€™s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursdayâ€™s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturdayâ€™s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. The Augusta Furies Womenâ€™s Rugby Football Club practices 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Julian Smith Casino for players 18 and up. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit augustafuries.org.
ANY Full Service Wash sh
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The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-8147514 or visit killerbdiscgolf.blogspot.com/p/hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee, $5; ace pool, $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordanâ€™s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans.com. Adapted Aquatics for Special Populations offered at the Wilson Family Y by appointment. Members, $11 per session; non-members, $22 per session. Discount for additional siblings. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706-722- 8878. AUGUSTAâ€™S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members, $35 a month; non-members, $50 a month. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.
students between 15 and 18 years of age are eligible to apply for this six-week program that provides an educational, hands-on volunteer experience in the academic health center environment. Call 706-7213596 or visit grhealth.org/volunteer.
Civil War 150th Canal Tour, “Food, Fabric and Firepower,” is offered by the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center at 1:30 p.m. daily through 2013. Call 706-823- 0440 or visit augustacanal.com.
Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-6427631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.
Toddler Time, playtime for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. $2 per visit; $16 per 10-visit pass. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.
Lego Club for grades K-5 will be held at the Nancy Carson Library, North Augusta, 4-5 p.m., Friday, April 26. Legos will be provided. Call 803-279-5757 or visit abbe-lib.org. Mother’s Day Memory Frame activity will be held by the Kids Club at Michael’s craft store, 10-11:30 a.m., Saturday, April 27. All ages welcome. $2 per participant. Call 706-738-9330. Summer Camp Expo will be held at Augusta Preparatory School in Martinez, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Held to inform parents of options available to their kids during the summer months. Call 706-863-1906 or visit augustaprep.org. Parents’ Night Out will be held at the Marshall Family Y in Evans, and at the Wilson Family Y, 6-9:30 p.m., Saturday, April 27. Non-members $20; members $12 at Wilson Y. Registration required. Visit familyy.org. Wilderness survival for ages 8-14 will be held at Reed Creek Park, 11 a.m.-noon, Saturday, April 27. Learn about the do’s and don’ts for dressing for the wilderness and what to bring when you go camping, ways to signal for help, as well as tips on making fires and shelters in the wilderness without matches and a tent. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Pre-registration required. Members free; non-members $2 per child. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. French Language Class for grades 1-5 will be held at the Aiken Library, 4 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. Call 803642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Early Release Movie will be shown at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta, 4-6 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. Title to be announced. Bring your own refreshments. Call 803-279-5757 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Leap Into Landscapes,” part of the What’s in the Box? activity series, will be held at the Morris Museum, 10-11 a.m., Thursday, May 2. View the exhibit, “First Lady Ellen Axson Wilson and Her Circle” and then create a landscape with help from the surprise in the box. Members free; non-members $4. Registration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. “To the Moon and Beyond” will be shown at DuPont Planetarium, 8-9 p.m., Saturdays through April 27. Features info about Apollo astronauts experiences on the moon, and NASA’s plans for space travel in the future. Call 803-641-3654. 30-Day Drawing Challenge will be held at the Appleby Library for ages 11-17, through April 30. Pick up a form at the front desk. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Photo Scavenger Hunt will be held at the Appleby Library, through April 30. Forms available at front desk. Call 706-736-6244, email email@example.com or visit ecgrl.org. Georgia Regents Health System is taking applications for the summer Volunteen Program. High school 18APRIL2013
Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m. Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m. Wednesdays for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday- Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-8602833 or visit augustaga.gov. Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets Monday-Friday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-364-5762 for nonmember prices. Visit krocaugusta.org. Story Time is held at the Diamond Lakes Branch library 10 a.m. each Tuesday. Registration required for groups of six or more. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/ taichi.html. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706- 556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15
Nature Clubs: Spring Sessions are being offered at Reed Creek Park. Session for homeschoolers 9-11 years old, 1-2:30, Thursday, April 25. After school grades K-2, 4:30-6:30 p.m., Thursday, April 25. After school grades 3-5, 4:30-6 p.m., Friday, April 26. Indoor and outdoor activities. $25/child. Registration required. Call 706210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com.
ANNUAL CHURCH RUMMAGE SALE Unitarian Universalist Church 3501 Walton Way Extension
a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.
Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov.
Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org.
Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-7339491.
Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.
Parties at the Family Y offers various activities, days and fees, according to branch location. Registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.
Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05- 10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736- 6244 or visit ecgrl.org.
Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org. Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org/teens. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803613-0484. Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5- 8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854- 0149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Boy and Girl Scout troops are hosted by Augusta Jewish Community Center. For Boy Scouts, visit troop119bsa.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org. For Girl Scouts, email email@example.com. For Daisy/ Brownie Troop, email firstname.lastname@example.org. Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and high-school students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org. Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community
Have you Aerated your yard?
Little Roy and Lizzy Music Festival will be held in Lincolnton, beginning 6 p.m., Wednesday, May 1. It is a four-day event that will be held at Elijah Clark State Park. Free barbecue and covered dish supper will be held for all ticket holders, 6 p.m., Tuesday, April 30. No alcoholic beverages. Parking $5. General admission $30 daily; kids 6-13 $15 daily; under 6 free with parents. Four-day adult advance $85; four-day kids advance $45. Parking $5 daily. Call 706-864-7203 (music festival), 800-864-7275 (camping), or visit adamsandandersonbluegrass.com. The Georgia Renaissance Festival is held in Fairburn, Ga., just outside Atlanta, 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m., Saturdays and Sundays, plus Memorial Day, through June 2. General admission $16.95, seniors 60 and over $15.95, kids 6-12 $6.95. Medieval and fantasy costuming, folk and filk music, food, beer, shows, lots of stuff for kids of all ages. There even be pirates and dragons! Call 770-964-8575 or visit garenfest.com. Story time is held at the Warren County Library in Warrenton at 10:30 a.m. Wednesdays. Call 706-465-2656. Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half-price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org. Story time and craft is held at the Burke County Library in Waynesboro at 10:30 a.m. Fridays for preschoolers. Call 706-554-3277 or visit ecgrl.org. Story time is held at the Midville Branch Library in Midville at 4:30 p.m. Fridays. Call 478-589-7825 or visit ecgrl.org. Gymnastics Lessons offered at the Family Y of Thomson 130 Center for a combination of age and ability levels. Members, $43 per month; non-members, $63 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Art and Music Classes offered at the Family Y of Thomson 130 Center for all ages. Members, $25 per month; nonmembers, $35 per month. Visit thefamilyy.org.
If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at email@example.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.
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No More Diapers
And the many other joys of having big (well, not too big) kids I do not hate babies. As a matter of fact, when we had one, we enjoyed having one. Ours were great babies, sleeping through the night before two months old and eating like champs. I never even read baby-wise. They were just easy. I miss when they were that little. I love babies. They (The Royal They with all the answers) say each phase of parenting is better than the last. So far, that’s mostly been true. Although I wouldn’t advise that anyone wish away years of their child’s life, I’ll offer this to parents of screaming infants and obnoxious toddlers: it gets better. It gets a whole lot better. Parenting kids who are between the ages of six and 10 is, well, great. They (just The Kids, not the TRT) are still young and innocent, and they don’t hate me yet. They understand what I mean. They may not always obey, but they do know what I’m saying. They don’t get in trouble for much besides fighting with one another. There’s the occasional cuss word (Boy) or backtalk (Girl), but the coloring on the walls and pulling off their, um, filled, diaper doesn’t happen anymore. No more diapers. Although mine have been out of diapers for some time now, this one will always top my list. When they were in diapers, it wasn’t that big of deal to change them. Now, I all but refuse. Actually I have refused a couple. I try to schedule visits based on the last time the baby pooped. Having your kid use a full-sized, flushing toilet is liberating. That’s probably an understatement. Naptime schedule restrictions are nonexistent. Don’t get me wrong. I loved naptime when both of mine were sleeping. The Boy took two naps a day for a while, and he kept his afternoon nap until he was 5. His sister wasn’t so easy. She napped well until she was 2. After that, even though her then 4-year-old brother was sound asleep, she wouldn’t do it. She would stay in bed for a couple of hours and not complain. When you have two toddlers, you take what you can get. Because naps were still so necessary, we couldn’t plan to do anything during the hours of two and four each day. I don’t miss fighting with a kid, trying to convince them they’re tired, when really I just wanted a break. I miss the quiet time, but now they just play in the yard or watch a movie. I still get my time. If we’re out past bedtime, the next day isn’t completely ruined. We aren’t on a feeding schedule. Sure they have to eat (and I try to feed them regularly), but if we don’t eat at noon sharp, no one’s crying. If they want a snack, they can get it. Just the other day, The Boy asked, “What’s for lunch?” You know what The Man told him? “Whatever you can make, son.” The Boy made a sandwich for himself and his sister. He put grapes on the plate and poured milk. Brilliant. I’m still willing to help them, of course. I’m their mother. The fact that they get so excited about learning
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how to do things on their own is thrilling. I just about blew The Girl’s mind when I taught her how to use the microwave last week. I don’t even need to share how she felt about making her own hot chocolate in the Keurig. They still want to be seen in public with me. The girl told me that I’m the best mama ever because I take her to my friends’ houses with me. She thinks it’s neat to sit with me and a friend while we drink wine. I wonder when that will change. For now, I’ll keep it. She promised me that she won’t ever think I’m uncool. I wish I’d gotten that on video. The lady at Moe’s heard her say it. Besides, she pinky promised. We haven’t gotten to the puberty part yet. Yuck. The anticipation of armpit hair, pimples, bad attitudes, bras, sweat and broken hearts is enough to send me packing. They can’t drive. They don’t go out until midnight. They aren’t dropped at the mall without an adult. They still need and want a babysitter. I love their independent spirits, but I’m glad to still have tabs on them. Writing these words brings mixed emotions. The reality is bittersweet. They can do for themselves, but they still need me around. The Boy promises to hold my hand for many more years. The Girl assures me that she will always come home for a snuggle with Mama. Neither of these may come true. I’m enjoying the ease of this season, one when we talk, hang out and play games together. I’ll reassure and encourage them while teaching them to do for themselves. They feel smart, and my job is simpler. Do you think it’s too early to show them how to use a corkscrew?
JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.
But coming to Sky City this Friday night keep it from winning
You know what sucks? Autism. It’s true; autism sucks. It’s right behind cancer, and in front of AIDS. What are we going to do about it, sit around and let autism win? I think not my good friends. To do your part, which won’t take much effort besides showing up at Sky City and having a good time, come out to the Third Annual Rock Now for Autism Speaks, this Friday. If you hurry, tickets are only $12 in advance. This year’s featured act is the Tennessee band Framing Hanley. Support for Framing Hanley comes from the highly energized band Super Bob. Super Bob’s live performances have a made a name for them in the Augusta music scene. Last but not least for Friday night’s line-up is the return of Shotgun Opera. Fans of the band, like me, are looking forward to seeing the boys back at it. Shotgun Opera has been on hiatus for a while, rotating members and giving the public some doubt on whether they would return to their past popularity. Well, at least for one show, they’re getting the band back together, man! (That was meant to be read in the voice of John Belushi via “Blues Brothers”). Shotgun’s lineup will consist of Dave Mercer, Grizzly, SamRock, Henry Garma, JoBone and Cappy. Looking forward to it boys. Come out for a great cause and loud music. If you pick up the paper early every Thursday, you are in luck, especially if you are a local artist. Just saw a posting on the book of faces, calling out all local artists. Surreal at Surrey is hosting a night for all musicians to come out and play tonight. Whether it’s rap, rock, country or polka, Surreal will let you hit the stage and prove you have got it. The first act hits the stage at 8:30. If you have been looking for a stage, here’s your shot. Last call! This Saturday night will be the best show in Augusta all year, and I’ve been saying that since I saw them perform on the Late Show with David Letterman. The band Vintage Trouble is at Sky City on Saturday night. Otis Redding meets Led Zeppelin will give you a nice visual of what Saturday night will be like. Tickets are only $12 at Sky City’s website. Don’t miss this show. We’ve all heard of tragic tales locally about drinking and driving. It’s just a bad idea. Whether you end up on the cover of The Jail Report or even worse, killing someone, your best bet is to take a cab or even sleep in your car. Well, I wish Todd Harrell of the band 3 Doors Down would have taken that advice, as Todd spent this past weekend inside the pokey after being charged with vehicular homicide after a fatal collision this past Friday night in Nashville. Along with appearing intoxicated, sheriff’s deputies found a plastic bag containing eight Xanax, 24 Oxycodone pills and four Oxymorphone pills in his sock. Wow, someone was looking for a good time. Bail is set at $100,000. For another dose of sad news, Divinyls lead singer Chrissy Amphlett died earlier this week at her home in New York after battling breast cancer and multiple sclerosis. The Divinyls are best known for their 1991 hit “I Touch Myself.” Chrissy was only 53. Ironically, I used to touch myself while watching that music video. I was 11. There are new albums to buy! I actually recommend both of them. First is the band Phoenix. After reaching new levels of popularity the last couple of years, they have released “Bankrupt” to rave reviews. The other album is Snoop Lion’s new disc, “Reincarnated.” I haven’t heard it, but it’s Snoop! For this week’s recommendation, I’m going with Foals. The band out of Oxford, England, just released “Holy Fire.” Check out the track “Inhaler.” What shows are coming to Augusta? Where is your band playing? Is there a band out there that no one else knows about? How did Chrissy Amphlett touch you? Email me at email@example.com.
MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock.
AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
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Sci-fi is a winning genre for Tom Cruise, it seems. RANK
SCARY MOVIE 5
G.I. JOE: RETALIATION
An enjoyable sci-fi flick perfectly tailored for a drinking game In downtown Little Rock, Ark., there’s a pizza joint called Iriana’s, where the specialty pie is a higgledy-piggledy version of a supreme called the “sweep the floor.” That name came to mind while trying to articulate the mélange of science fiction classics that appear to have been sausaged into “Oblivion.” To assemble this popcorn flick, director/writer Joseph Kosinski appears to have swept up hide and hair from every touchstone in the genre. (Proposed drinking game: Spot an echo of another movie in “Oblivion,” take a shot.) A partial list must include “Wall-E,” “Independence Day,” “Solaris,” “The Matrix,” “Star Wars,” “2001: A Space Odyssey,” “Blade Runner,” “Moon,” “The Day After Tomorrow” — the floor, it has been swept. The result is an “Oblivion” that sticks to your ribs. If you can’t shake the sense you’ve been here before, well, tell it to Jack Harper (Tom Cruise). He’s a technician on a deserted Earth, living in a mod glass apartment above the clouds, whizzing around in a nifty ship that resembles a helicopter crossed with a dragonfly crossed with an iPod. It’s 2077, long after aliens attacked Earth and made a mess of the place. Most of humanity has fled to Titan, the moon of Saturn where everyone’s holing up now that we poisoned the planet during the war. (The aliens’ masterstroke was to blow up our moon, sending earthquakes and ocean floods to do the dirty work down here.) “We won,” Jack likes to say, but now the only humans are huddled in a massive space station called the Tet, dangling in low orbit to monitor likewise massive power plants that run on slurped-up ocean water. Those are under constant guerilla siege by the straggling holdouts from the alien war. Jack’s job is to repair the aerial drones that guard the power stations and which carry an aspect of ED-209 from “RoboCop” (shot). He’s half-heartedly looking forward to ditching for Titan. The milieu Kosinski builds around Jack’s errands is one of an omega man (shot) backed by the formidable force of the drones and by his partner, in multiple senses, Victoria (Andrea Riseborough). But Jack is haunted by dreams that feel eerily real, as
if they pre-date his mandatory memory-wipe. He imagines a strange brunette (Olga Kurylenko) meeting him in New York. Then, as he’s out on parole one day, she becomes manifest in an unexpected way. Later on, Morgan Freeman and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (a.k.a. the Kingslayer, to “Game of Thrones” fans) help fill out the cast. Even for those overall less impressed by “Oblivion” will fall for its aesthetics. The sweeping cinematography (by Claudio Miranda, winner of the Oscar for his work on “Life of Pi”) befits an epic — vistas of a planet wasted, seen from purifying heights. The overindulgent synth-score by M83 recalls cheeseball adventure movies from the ’80s, becoming an instant guilty pleasure. Even the leading man has his charms, despite his inherent Tom Cruisivity. He has a certain aptitude for parts such as Jack, a duty-bound action dude who chafes under authority. Jack’s a bluer-collar version of Ethan Hunt or Jerry Maguire or the guy from “Minority Report” (shot?). Occasionally he has to deploy a puckish boy-smile to get him out of scrapes, even if he did turn 50 on the set of “Oblivion.” Mostly, Cruise winds him up and races across the screen. The actor doesn’t disappear into his characters so much as they disappear into him. And so what if you’ve seen him like this before?
“At Any Price,” rated R, starring Zac Efron, Dennis Quaid, Heather Graham. An unexpected crisis at an unstable family business tests the relationship between father and son. We can almost predict the heartwarming ending now.
“Pain & Gain,” rated R, starring Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg, Rebel Wilson, Anthony Mackie, Ken Jeong, Ed Harris, Tony Shalhoub, Rob Corddry. We really shouldn’t like this movie… after all, it was directed by Michael Bay, who helmed such gems as the Transformers trilogy, “Pearl Harbor” and “Armageddon.” But with a cast like this, how can we resist?
“The Big Wedding,” rated R, starring Amanda Seyfried, Robert DeNiro, Katherine Heigl, Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Robin Williams, Topher Grace. Divorced parents have to play nice during the wedding of their adopted son. Yeah, that’s going to go well.
“Mud,” rated PG-13, starring Matthew McConaughey, Sam Shepard, Reese Witherspoon. A backwoods adventure featuring lots of colorful characters with equally colorful nicknames. (Mud? Neckbone? Juniper?) No, this isn’t the role Matthew McConaughey almost killed himself losing weight for, but the Texas T-Rex is reportedly impressive as a fugitive on the run from bounty hunters.
“The Reluctant Fundamentalist,” rated R, starring Riz Ahmed, Kate Hudson, Liev Schreiber, Kiefer Sutherland. A Pakistani man has a successful career on Wall Street… before a hostage situation calls his background into question. We Americans love us some profiling. 38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
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Devontae Blackshear, Taylor Epperly, Dallas Rutledge and Drew Langham at the Pizza Joint downtown.
Amanda Hooper, Crystil Allen and Jessy Olson at the Country Club.
Doug Varner, Erin Fall and Matt Griffin at Somewhere in Augusta.
Tyler and Joanna Shultz with Ashley Gunzenhauser and Alyssa Schneider at the Undercover Artists show at Julian Smith Casino.
Mary Ashton Mills, Emmie War and Lauren Wright at the Undercover Artists show at Julian Smith Casino.
Elaine and William Harrison with Stefanie Logan at Wild Wing.
Joe Pelli, Sheena Jessee, Melanie Siv and Whitney Vineyard at Blues Brews & BBQ at the Columbia County Amphitheatre.
Andrea and Jonathon Donald with Brittany Patrick and Steve Kendrick at the Undercover Artists show at Julian Smith Casino.
Alex and Kristen Breece with Ashlie Cook at the First Round.
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AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989
Ooooh, I can’t wait for the wicked awesome commercials that come out of the Boston tragedy. “When you were looking for your loved-ones, T-Mobile was there”. What does it say about a regions people when companies look at an area and think - ‘Hey this would be a great place to open a Call Center!!’ Yeah! I’ve been a Resident of “BUBBAVILLE”, otherwise known as the “Pumpkin Center Community of Harlem, GA” for 34+ Years now! I thought Civilization would’ve arrived by now! I mean! We ARE in the New Millennium! Oops! I forgot “BOSS HOGG’s “ keeping that a Secret! Residents might expect things like Potable Water & Sewerage! I didn’t realize that I’d moved into a “Third World Country”! And I thought Jersey City,NJ was CORRUPT! As I watched the Televised Conclusion of the “Boston Bombing Suspect’s Capture”, I couldn’t help but Remember Lee Harvey Oswald’s Execution by Jack Ruby! BUT We’re more Civilized Today! I think the Sentence of “Life Without Chance of Parole” in America’s Worst Prison Will Just Have to Suffice!
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Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.
A reply to the whiners....... Congrats to the RCSD, you did some good. Bass Tournament? Shut up. Rock Fore Dough is lame! Mercy Ministries? Have Mercy for sure! Mexican Restaurant whiner, pick another #18, there are plenty in this town! Grace Potter? Harry Potter’s Mum? Shut up about Rick Pitino, that win was about what’s good about college sports, not what’s bad! Masters whiner.... High 5! Deke is on the way out, we won’t be that lucky next time around. Petersburg whiner, what speed do you drive? Tax Dollars whiner, hush. Augusta National has been doing that for years. Is this Jay’s Music? My good sense has kept me away from jiffy pop’s yak show since the marathon bombing. I just can’t imagine. Let me guess...they should skin the guy alive...if he would have been there he would have beaten him to death with the butt of his gun...down with brown...you mean to tell me no one caught what was going on?... “Please listen carefully because our menu items have changed”...no they haven’t. They have not. You just don’t want me to press “0” and get to the operator. I’m on to it. Out of habit I accidentally turned on my radio to 580 am during the 3-6pm Puppet show ... The puppet was blathering about wanting to sterilize a woman that HE had determined should not reproduce . If he weren’t so ignorant he would be aware of programs like “ Fitter Family’s for Georgia “ , your eugenic ideas were prevalent in this country 100 years ago. We exported them to Germany .. I could go on but Maybe you should educate yourself it’s hard to be subjected to such an idiot!
To the helpers everywhere: Mr. Rogers is proud of you. And so are we.
Did Lindsey Graham really think it was helpful for a Republican senator to talk smack about how the FBI screwed up the Tamerlan Tsarnaev investigation on national television… before actually talking to the FBI to see if they screwed up?
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The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond...
Published on Apr 24, 2013
The Metro Spirit is a free weekly newspaper that serves readers in the Augusta and North Augusta area. Editorial coverage includes Richmond...