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your priorities straight NAPS !

So we have abandoned property that’s just sitting there because the owners won’t do anything about the care of yards and the collapse of buildings and ALSO do not pay any taxes? I How can Aiken Public Safety say we confiscate or at least get resolve a standoff and put the to “use” the land by having low guy in jail, yet Jan. 8th, a meth head nearly kills his wife in front risk parolees cut the grass, till of their little daughter and holes the soil, put in seeds, harvest the crops and help deliver said up in the North Augusta home crops to the Golden Harvest and he is still a free man ? Get Money missing from an Augusta enterprise? And no one taking responsibility?.. Noo..Say it ain’t so....(insert sarcasm here).

Food Bank to feed the poor. The Atlanta Falcons received A Pleasant Surprise when the Sea hawk’s Coach called “Time Out” as Falcon’s Kicker missed his First Try at a “Last Second Field Goal”! Yeah! That “Time Out” allowed The “Dirty Birds” to Kick the Winning Field Goal” as Time Expired! With that Omen of Great Luck on Atlanta’s Side, They’ve Just Gotta Win the “Super Bowl”! GO FALCONS!

o r t e m IRIT SP

Does anyone besides me know that the GRU is the main intelligence directorate of the Russian military? Really Azziz, do you want to share an acronym with an outfit that has spent most of the last fifty years spying on the US?

inappropriate.” Apparently, Angus T. Jones braggadocio religious beliefs detoured to Hypocrisy Street in lieu of that $350,000 per episode contract. Angus T. Jones: just another tough talking gutless religious hypocrite.

I see young buck Angus T. Jones is going back to work next week on the CBS show Two and a Half Men. And that’s after he called that show “filth” and “very

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Contributors Greg Baker|Sam Eifling |Rhonda Jones |Austin Rhodes|Josh des|Josh es|Josh Ruffin|Matt Stone|Adam W Wa Wadding|Jenny ding|Jenny Wright

o r t e m IR P S

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Metro Spirit is a freee newspaper published publis weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks eks a year. Editorial coverage includes local ocal al issues and news, arts, arts entertainment, entert people, places and pectrum. The he views do not necessarily represent present the views of the th publisher. publish Visit us at metrospirit.com. m.© events. In our paperr appear views from across the political and social spectrum. ner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permissio p person, perso please. 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: permission is prohibited. One copy per

CONTENTS

Moving On: While Columbia County replaces Sentinel Offender Services with another private probation company, other municipalities are making a strong case for bringing probation services in-house

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Zoned Opportunities: New zoning to help revitalize Martinez Berckmans Update: Redesigned road moving forward despite criticism Riding Strong: Wheel Movement starts second full year with plenty of momentum

COVER DESIGN: KRUHU Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? 706.496.2535 or 706.373.3636


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INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

SIDER

Fasten Your Seatbelts After about a year and a half, Columbia County is letting Stacie Adkins run the county events department by allowing her to step away from the recreation department. Commissioners voted Tuesday to split community events and recreation back into two departments. In doing so, there was lots of talk about how Adkins wasn’t being demoted — she had simply been overburdened. In other words, sometimes consolidation isn’t the answer. By expanding her community events position to include control over the spectacular but largely underperforming Evans Towne Center Park and the Lady Antebellum Amphitheatre, commissioners put a major asset into the hands of someone who might actually know what to do with it. But as anyone who’s been associated with a complex power structure knows, control can be the most relative of terms. Insiders have long pointed to an uneasy relationship between certain promoters and county leadership. If that relationship is allowed to continue, Adkins will have a bumpy ride no matter what her title or responsibilities.

2013 is gearing up to be a sweet year for entertainment around Augusta. Friday, February 8: Stand-up comedian, actor and country music artist Rodney Carrington @ Bell. Saturday, March 8: Second Annual Evans Towne Center Park Spring Fest @ Lady A (acts TBA). Saturday, March 30: ARS and the Little River Band @ Lady A. Tuesday, April 9: Rock Fore! Dough @ Lady A (rumor has it)… (acts TBA). Wednesday, April 10: Par Tee @ The Park @ Lady A (acts TBA). Friday, April 19: Carrie Underwood @ JBA. Wednesday, May 1: Alice in Chains @ Bell. Wednesday, May 8: Little Big Town @ JBA. Saturday, May 18: Eric Lindell and the Sunliners, featuring Anson Funderburgh @ the 20th Annual Blind Willie McTell Blues Festival. Friday and Saturday, May 24 and 25: Fourth Annual Banjo-B-Que @ Lady A (acts TBA).

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Rip and Read Thanks to the new public affairs officer, Lt. Calvin Chew, Augusta media has experienced a nice, steady flow of information from the Sheriff’s Office concerning the crackerjack job law enforcement officers are doing to keep the streets safe from criminals. Seriously, have you ever heard about more car chases in your life? And how about that new sheriff of ours? He’s so damn good at what he does, it seems like all the criminals who aren’t being herded at high speeds across the river are turning themselves into Roundtree directly. Guess he’s got an open door policy for everyone but the media. Sour grapes? Partly. But there’s far more than our wounded pride at stake. Call it the Jail Reportification of the news, and if you haven’t noticed it, it’s already happening. All those chase stories? All those updates about all those criminals turning themselves in to Sheriff Roundtree? They’re pretty much spoon-fed to a local media that’s got its mouth open wide. Of course, this all comes at a time when reporting is vulnerable anyway. With economic forces shrinking newsrooms to all time lows just as technological advancements have expanded the newspace to all time highs, exhausted writers, producers and news directors are scrambling to find more stuff to throw at the public. Sex offender databases. Homes for sale in Rivershire. Copper thefts. It doesn’t matter so much if it’s fit to print so long as you can print it. And fast. Because it’s time to update the site again. So Roundtree’s new policy kicks the news media when it’s already down. The first casualty will be the accurate and complete understanding of the full landscape of crime in Augusta-Richmond County. From there? You don’t have to be a cynical newsman to recognize how control the message can create the message. Place these ridiculous stories of personal surrender in the middle of an election year, and you’re shaping a candidate. Give the media more crime, less crime, certain kinds of crime and you’re shaping an agenda. Back in the Cold War we could sniff out these kinds of shenanigans in a heartbeat. Now, it seems as if everyone’s suddenly blind. Or maybe they just don’t care anymore. Either way, you’d better get used to mug shots.

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Lost in Translation Guns and guv’mint

The dialogue — or if we’re being frank, shouting match — that’s occurred over the last decade and intensified with the recent shootings in Colorado, Wisconsin and Connecticut is kind of like the low-level, street-corner cocaine of the democratic process: it may still retain some semblance, some traces of what it was originally meant to be, but it’s become so diluted by Drano, baking powder, insanity and apathy, it bears little resemblance to its former self. In the interest of keeping strained metaphors to a minimum, this column is not going to be a long one. Double shifts and a death in the (pet) family have left me pretty emotionally exhausted this week, so any reaction — emotional or analytical — I may have had to the globules of crazy that dripped from gun advocates’ mouths this past week aren’t going to manifest themselves until much later on. That doesn’t mean, however, I still don’t know bulls**t when I see it. And the best way to debunk bulls**t is to lay bare the truth, wide open and uncut. Granted, it won’t change the minds of those who don’t want their minds to be changed, but it’ll make me feel a hell of a lot better. 1. Gun Advocate: “Obama wants to take away all of our guns!” I mean, yeah, if he had more of a spine, then he totally would. The truth, however, is that even a wholesale ban on assault weapons (AK-47s and the like) isn’t seriously on Obama’s docket right now. Even Crazy Uncle Joe, who’s known for wandering or sprinting off the reservation at times and taking the administration’s talking points to the extreme, is being realistic about the logistics involved in that. Yes, such a ban is expected to be included in a new gun control package the administration will bring to the table in the coming weeks. But Obama and his advisors are, publicly, not hinging the success of the bill on passage alone. In any case, bills get renegotiated, fragmented, rewritten and reworded all the time in the legislative process. The long game, however, seems to be parlaying the surely highprofile nature of the bill into more serious discussions about ammunition limits, bans on high-capacity magazines, and cracking down on violations of gun laws already in place. Rhetoric like this, however, is being used by gun ownership advocates — i.e., the nutcase faction of them — to not just imply, but explicitly threaten the government with an armed rebellion. Per Fox News analyst Andrew Napolitano: “Here’s the dirty little secret about the Second Amendment: the Second Amendment was not written in order to protect your right to shoot deer, it was written to protect your right to shoot tyrants if they take over the government. How about chewing on that one.” The two comma splices are only the fourth-most egregious thing about that statement. Is Napolitano simply playing the conservative role expected of him as an acolyte of Fox? Maybe. Probably. But words like this incite, and point towards a gleefully self-fulfilling prophecy. 2. Gun Advocate: “If [insert business or institution name] had armed guards or employees, these tragedies never would have occurred!” Like I pointed out a couple of weeks ago, there were armed guards at Columbine when the shooting occurred, and that didn’t stop those people from being killed. Virginia Tech had a whole freaking police department on campus; same result. And because that works so well, State Rep. Brad Klippert plans to introduce a bill during this year’s legislative session to allow teachers and other school employees to carry a weapon at work.

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The Kennewick Republican told the Herald on Thursday he hasn’t drafted the bill yet, but he said no educator would be required to carry a firearm at school. Klippert, a Benton County sheriff’s deputy, said he wants to collaborate with recently elected state Rep. Liz Pike, R-Camas, who suggested similar legislation in late December. “We’ve got a lot of work to do on this,” Klippert said. The 2013 legislative session begins on Monday. The proposal comes in the wake of last month’s shooting massacre of gradeschool students and teachers in Newtown, Conn., said the Tri City Herald in Washington state. Never mind that statistics clearly illustrate the mere presence of a gun exponentially increases the likelihood of someone within the vicinity being shot. This bill probably won’t actually see the light of day, but it’s incredible how deeply civilian vigilante fantasies can penetrate our real-world society. 3. Gun Advocate: “Stay out of my gun cabinet, dictator!” In a minute, I’ll talk briefly about why the last word of that sentence holds some shade of truth. For now, let me explain why the gun issue doesn’t make Obama a dictator. What sparked this thread of accusation is the administration’s statement that President Obama might utilize an executive order to issue the discussed bans and restrictions. But again, the executive orders in question refer not to a nationwide purge, but to mandates that would more strictly enforce existing violations, as well as more strenuous studying and tweaking of laws already on the books. The administration is even being relatively mum regarding the ammunition limit, which is, depending on which line you choose to toe, a sign of the president’s weak stance on the issue, or a shrewd, subtle move in the context of a long game. To deviate from the main narrative a bit, it really speaks to the ideological kowtowing that conservatives are more afraid of Obama’s milquetoast gun control initiatives than they are his aggressive reinforcement of the NDAA. What’s the NDAA? Glad you asked. Strictly speaking, it’s the National Defense Authorization Act, which primarily specifies the allocations of budget expenditures for the United States military. The most troubling aspect of the act, however, reads that any person — U.S. citizen or not — that engages in a “belligerent act” against the United States or its government, can be detained without due process. The written law conveniently neglects to elaborate on what constitutes a “belligerent act.” Are we talking overt terrorism? Anarchist rhetoric? Farting at a correspondents’ dinner? It’s dicey, but this is an issue on which the time might be right for right- and left-wingers alike to protest together. This is a law that threatens the sanctity of everyone’s constitutional rights, and should be treated as such. Afterward, we can get back to arguing over which GOP senator’s picture we should put beside “rape” in the dictionary.

JOSHRUFFIN, a Metro Spirit alum, is a published

journalist and poet who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

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The Old Media Policy Had Lipstick on It I learn something new every day. Just an hour ago I learned that when Richmond County Sheriff Richard Roundtree was a young investigator, he would sometimes get help writing and editing his press releases from his then girlfriend Brandi. Nothing wrong with that. Brandi was an incredibly bright young lady. She graduated with honors from Clark Atlanta University with a degree in mass media arts. And besides, when you are a news producer for an Augusta TV station, you tend to be good at, you know, writing and spelling and things like that. Brandi wanted to be more than just a producer, though; she wanted to be a reporter and an anchor. I am sure the story that she assembled solely as a resume piece, the one where Investigator Roundtree dug out his old uniform and gave on-camera quotes and sounded all official and authoritative was quite helpful in getting her hired out of the market. Her move to Columbia was definitely a step up. Sadly for Roundtree, I am told she wanted an upgrade in “that department” too. It happens. Hell, it has happened to me plenty. Now that was a long time ago, more than five years ago. To his credit, Roundtree got back on the horse. He was no doubt being cheered on by his colleagues, whose favorite “filly corral” back in those days was the stable of pretty young things who populated three competing TV newsrooms. (The radio and print ladies back then apparently didn’t “sparkle” quite like the TV gals.) I have thought long and hard about listing the names of all involved, on both sides of the Thin Blue Line, but to be quite honest, since I have no proof of any wrongdoing and no specific evidence that any secrets were shared, why drag everyone’s name through the mud? But I did take the time to count, and by the estimation of myself and a few of the young ladies involved (all have left Augusta), we figure there are at least half a dozen “men of rank” in the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department who over the last 15 years have dated at least a dozen TV news employees. (And that is only counting the ones we know about.) There are a couple of bizarre stories that jump out of the bunch, the aforementioned situation with Roundtree was just the beginning. There was the case of one poor officer whose wife was so worried because of all the late-night phone calls that there was something naughty going on (there was not, so I hear), that she called the lady TV reporter on the carpet and demanded she “leave my husband alone!” Then there was the case of a gorgeous young reporter whose good looks made her quite popular with several badge-wearing suitors. Sadly, the last one she dated got carried away and became obsessed with her. She told me the day she left the market that she was hoping not to end up in a body bag because of the nut. She left in the middle of the week, in the midst of a contract, and never even stepped foot back in the station. She resigned to her boss over her cell phone, driving down the interstate. A few of us followed up to make sure the maniac was written up, and he was, in fact, run out of police work. Then there was the TV anchor who fell so deeply in love with her local cop sweetheart that when she was called up for a better assignment in a bigger city she didn’t want to go. She eventually quit TV and moved back to Augusta. Ironically, not long after that, they broke up, and the officer in question (with at least four TV news hook-ups that I know about, perhaps making him champion) was “moving on” with yet another member of the fourth estate. At this point I am betting the ladies reading this column are disgusted beyond belief, and the men reading it are looking around for someone to high five. Men tend to be pigs. As word of the new sheriff’s incredibly tight new media policies are starting to sink in, Augusta media veterans near and far are comparing notes and coming to the conclusion that Roundtree and his merry men are perhaps living proof that there are no more fervent saints than those who are reformed sinners. They want no more secret conversations or late night phone calls to their senior men, even if it is all business. They want no more inside information leaked or revealed, especially if it gets them in trouble with their wives. Who needs that stress? As a practical matter, the new written policy is in some places so restrictive, as to be unconstitutional. I had a $50 wager with one officer (going to charity) that I could prove that the new RCSO policy forbidding the release of the contents of a suicide note is, in fact, contrary to law. A neighboring agency understands the law in this regard, and they sent me two such notes today, just for the asking. (The Metro Spirit was sent copies as well.) The bottom line: Sheriff Roundtree has some good things going in the first few weeks of his administration, but he needs some professional guidance as to what is going to work and what won’t regarding his media policy. Continue to discuss and evaluate the policies in practice with the people who know our business, and we will work through the new rules. And we will do our best to only have the media guys call your houses after dark.

AUSTINRHODES

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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KRISTINHAWKINS

Zoned Opportunities New zoning to help revitalize Martinez

The new opportunity zone in Columbia County is giving new businesses a reason to make their way to the Martinez area. In October of last year, Columbia County received approval from the Georgia Department of Community Affairs (DCA), to designate economically deprived areas in the county, including the Martinez region, as a qualified opportunity zone. “An opportunity zone is set up by the Department of Community Affairs for different communities for tax incentives for people to locate their businesses within the opportunity zone,” said Richard Harmon, the Columbia County Development Services director. “They will get so much money for each employee they bring in. There is quite a bit of criteria that the county had to submit to the DCA.” It was the Developmental Authority of Columbia County that put the possibility in motion for the county. “The Development Authority really did the legwork for that, but then they presented it to the county who then had to endorse it,” said county Administrator Scott Johnson. “We did, and we sent it off to the DCA, of course, then we found out we got approval.” Although no businesses have officially moved into the area, the opportunity zone is looking to 8

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open two new businesses within its limits within the month. Aldi and a new discount tire store have both made their way to the region and will be the first businesses that the program will apply to. According to Harmon, there has also been an influx of inquiries regarding vacant buildings in the program’s boundaries. “I think once people know it’s here, people (will start) taking advantage of it,” Harmon said. “Especially new businesses that come in.” Prior to the approval of Columbia County’s opportunity zone, it had been difficult for the Development Authority to make the program possible for the area. “Due to the tier system in Georgia, it is hard for us to be competitive with tax credits and some other incentives that the state offers,” Johnson said. “This opportunity zone kind of levels the playing field for that particular area with tax credits.” The incentives given by the state are based upon the size of the county and the amount of jobs offered within that region. Before the opportunity zone was approved in Columbia County, the administration had to find alternative ways to draw in new businesses. “Certainly the quality of life is good here and we have a good work force in Columbia County,” Johnson said. “(But) this opportunity zone gives us the opportunity to offer more incentives.” The program lasts for 10 years and the county can

apply for renewal once the 10 years are up. This is the first time the program has been approved in Columbia County; however, Richmond County has been approved at least three different times for opportunity zones at Laney Walker, Harrisburg and Rocky Creek, while larger chunks of land abutting Fort Gordon have been similarly designated as military zones. According to Walter Sprouse, executive director of the Development Authority of Richmond County, those beneficial opportunities are often overlooked by the very businesses the zones were designed to attract. “It’s up to the individual businesses to apply,” Sprouse said. “The county’s not going to write a letter — they’ve got fire departments to run and other things to worry about. But if you employ at least two people and you’re in an opportunity zone or a military zone and you’re in Augusta-Richmond County and if you have not taken advantage of these tax credits — that’s money that is flying out of your pocket as fast as it can.” Sprouse said most of these zones aren’t really conducive to industry, though he does point at one of the businesses in on of Richmond County’s military zones is ADP. “What do they employ — 1,100 people now?” Sprouse said. “Take 1,100 and multiply that out by $4,000 per job per year and take a look at what ADP is getting with state tax breaks.” 17JANUARY2013


Coming Soon to Evans!

Early 2013

Our Interest is in You! 4349 Washington Road Across from Mellow Mushroom in front of Kroger www.firstbankofga.com


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336 Georgia Avenue | North Augusta | 803.278.2408 Martinez, Evans, Grovetown, North Augusta

GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D

Shooting for Results Emotions should not dictate actions

This week I would like to talk about a different kind of technology, one that is currently center stage in the national debate. Everyone abhors the violence we witnessed at Newtown, Aurora, Columbine and other places.

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When I first heard about Newtown, I purposely avoided all media for a week because I knew that I would not be able to handle the coverage. It’s a situation that’s impossible to understand, and no family or community should ever have to suffer that kind of loss. Unfortunately, such is human nature, these acts of violence prey upon our fears and insecurities. Also, given over a century of progressivism that fosters dependency, our society’s self-reliance has atrophied to a place where we no longer believe we can, or even should, solve our own problems. As a result, we find ourselves in a place where our so-called leadership is debating which of the natural rights embodied in our Constitution should be sacrificed. After all, “something” has to be done. The people demand it! My experience in making decisions, however, has taught me that the best course of action is never the one dictated by emotion. For me, emotional decisions are typically fight or flight responses. I’ll either choose to fight and make a bad situation worse, or I’ll ignore the issue and allow a bad situation to become worse. Through the process of making a lot of bad decisions, I discovered that all good decisions start with very novel concept: write down specific things you want to happen. With clear goals in mind, different alternatives can be evaluated. And ultimately, the effectiveness of the decision can be measured. So what exactly are we trying to accomplish? The most specific statement I can find is simply, “Reduce gun violence.” Sounds great! What kind? How much? By whom? From an engineering perspective, this is what is known as an ambiguous requirement. There is no definitive way of determining whether it’s been accomplished. Alternatively, you can’t say it hasn’t been accomplished either. (That will help come election time.) Let’s face it — with so many factions in this debate, we’re probably never going to be able to put together a definitive set of objectives. It’s just too complex an issue. But that’s okay — everyone knows the problem is the assault rifles. Just to be clear, let’s make sure everyone is on the same page in regards to what is an assault rifle. The military defines an assault rifle as a weapon that utilizes an intermediate cartridge capable of fully automatic fire. These weapons are military use only and are heavily restricted in the United States. As a matter of fact, all fully automatic weapons (i.e., continuous fire on a single trigger pull) have been highly regulated since the National Firearms Act of 1934. The “assault weapons” utilized in recent incidents are in fact not military issue fully automatic rifles. “Assault weapons” are semi-automatic weapons (i.e., single round fired with each trigger pull) with specific features, largely cosmetic, defined in the Federal Assault Weapons Ban of 1994 and expired in 2004. Under the former law, an “assault weapon” is defined as any semiautomatic rifle with a detachable magazine and two of the following five features: a folding stock, pistol grip, bayonet mount, flash suppressor and grenade launcher. Many people are concerned about a reinstatement of the assault weapon ban. It’s not clear to me how a ban would help prevent another incident. The size of the round, and thereby the power of the weapon, is not included in the legal definition. Also, semi-automatic operation does not solely define an assault weapon. Even under a ban, rifles of equivalent capability will likely be legally available (never mind the black market for existing weapons). I have similar feelings regarding the restriction of high-capacity magazines and other gun restrictions currently being discussed. How will any of these approaches prevent a Newtown scenario? Short answer — I don’t understand how they could. Another common thread through all these shootings is the mental health of the shooters. Coverage of any substantive approaches to address mental health is in short supply. The mental health component balances individual rights (“medical privacy”) against public safety, so it’s probably the most technical from a policy perspective… and certainly not likely to generate any good sound bites. That’s too bad. This is one area that I think we could generate some real results. I don’t like trampling on the First Amendment any more than the Second, but I can’t see how violent movies and video games don’t also play a supporting role. Start with a maladjusted teenager, sit them in front of Call Of Duty for six hours a day, then give them access to a weapon. My common sense is telling me this is a bad combination. One final point — One of the most common arguments for gun rights is that the common citizen needs the means to protect his or her property from a government takeover. While I agree that individuals have the right to protect themselves, this is just an emotional argument that feels very good to those on the right. In reality, when the government decides to come for you, they are going to terminate you using an unmanned drone from over 100 miles away. Whether or not you have an AR-15 or AK-47 really won’t make a damn bit if difference. Until next time, I’m off the grid @gregory_a_baker. GREGORY A. BAKER, PH.D, is vice president and chief rocket scientist for CMA, which provides information technology services to CSRA businesses and nonprofits.

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PUZZLE ENVY

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Baseball “twin killings,” for short Chicago’s county Alternative to a bus Home of the world’s largest naval base 107 “Done, O.K.?!” 109 Head of London 110 Seemingly forever 111 NetZero competitor 112 Ladderlike in arrangement 114 Sports org. of the early 2000s 115 Until now 116 Statehouse resident, informally 117 Solitaire unit 118 “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” writer and star 120 Purpose 121 Quarter back? 122 Pastoral poem 123 Mich. neighbor 124 Stroke 125 Slammin’ Sammy 126 Prop up 127 Miss identification?

37 Where springboks graze 42 One of Mozart’s? 43 Subtitle of “Star Wars Episode IV” 44 Cat’s dogs? 45 ’60s prez 46 Late ’60s and early ’70s, politically 47 Hit 1944 film starring a 12-yearold actress 49 One-named pop singer 51 Wreak havoc on 52 More ridiculous 53 Paragraph symbol [¶] 56 Fifth tone 58 Mouth-watering 59 Vet, at times 61 West Coast beer, familiarly 64 Rembrandt van ___ 66 Here, in Juárez 67 Brynner of “Taras Bulba” 70 Its capital is Yellowknife: Abbr. 72 Smidgen 73 Choices of time 75 Ending with psychDown 76 Sir abroad 1 1978 Bob Fosse Broadway revue 77 Gibson of “The Beaver” 2 Melodious 79 “Norwegian Wood” strings 3 Blond bombshell of ’50s TV 82 To say, in Spanish 4 Lawyers’ cases, maybe 85 Grows old 5 Yukon and Tahoe, for short 87 Kardashian spouse Lamar ___ 6 Mumbai title 89 Well-intentioned activist 7 Moonstruck 92 Supersize, say 8 Downsized uprights 94 The N.F.L.’s ___ Burress 9 “Les ___” (Berlioz opera based on 95 James Bond’s childhood home the “Aeneid”) 97 Somewhat, informally 10 Heir, maybe, but not an heiress 100 “Bee-you-tiful!” 11 Immature 101 Like “Knocked Up” and “The 12 Cancels Hangover” 13 One at a sidebar 102 Subj. of the 2008 biography 14 Moolah “Traitor to His Class” 15 Unblemished 103 Some Swedish models 16 3.14159…, for pi 104 Kevin of “Weeds” 17 Baku resident 105 Cantillate 18 Gave the thumbs-down 106 Carol starter 24 Qualifiers 107 Advice to a base runner 29 “Just like that!” 108 Provide a place to stay 32 Ralph in the Baseball Hall of 113 Scott of “Hawaii Five-0” Fame 115 “How ___!” 33 Cameo, for one 118 It’s S. of S. Dak. 35 Remove from a mailing list, 119 15%-er: Abbr. informally

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PREVIOUSPUZZLEANSWERS

Across 1 Pop 4 Court statistic 11 Kid’s game with a ball 16 A Bobbsey twin 19 Constellation near Scorpius 20 Start to make a living from something 21 W.W. II marine threat 22 Israeli weapon 23 What some goggles provide 25 10,000,000 ergs 26 U.S.A. neighbor 27 Represent at a costume party 28 ___ minute 29 It may be tightly coiled 30 “Let us part, ___ the season of passion forget us”: Yeats 31 Designer Mizrahi 32 Old lad’s wear 34 Like pulp fiction 36 Onetime enemy 38 Reggae’s ___ Kamoze 39 Exposed 40 Kazakhstan, once: Abbr. 41 Shot blocker 45 Mrs. Mitt Romney 48 Place for runners 50 Far-out experience 54 Greenish creature 55 Diagonal 57 Wastage 60 Bit of negativity? 62 Flubbed 63 Squeeze for dough 65 Wine taster’s destination 68 Beetles, briefly 69 Slick 70 Bad sign for a traveler? 71 Land of Zion? 73 “That’s ___-brainer” 74 1942 Bette Davis film 76 Go downhill, in a way 78 Department-store department 80 Fix one’s eyes 81 Chip away at 83 Hornswoggle 84 Huzzahs 86 Singer/songwriter Laura 88 Make, as one’s way 90 Northern California’s ___ River 91 Breed of cat or dog

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R O P G U L L A L E D A D I S T O D S E R E N E A N D C P R R A M A Q L O L A N R O T I O P A T N T R T T O O I O M U F A T O R A T O R A V O N M O S T R I O R E O D U C E D P A S

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17JANUARY2013

AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

METROSPIRIT 11


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ADAMWADDING

Berckmans Update

Redesigned road moving forward despite criticism

The proposed widening and redesign of Berckmans Road is not only still moving forward, it has an earlier starting date. The original proposal, announced last June, had a 2020 construction start date, but it could now be starting as early as 2016. While a date might have been set, the project itself is still in its concept phase, meaning it could still change between now and then. The current design plan is to widen Berckmans Road to three lanes from Wheeler to Washington roads. That would create the good north-south connection between Riverwatch and west Augusta that traffic designers have been wanting for so long.

12 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

“We still have a concept that we will revise,” Assistant Director of Traffic Engineering Steve Cassell said. “We met with some property owners and we may be doing some adjustments with the alignment.” Because so much is still unsettled, no detailed designs have yet been drawn, though there have been plenty of preliminary drawings for people to comment on. And comment they have. Public opinion has reached both ends of the spectrum, and Cassell said all both responses will be taken into consideration when the project begins in earnest. Though opinions have been wide ranging, Cassell said there is a lot of support for the project. In spite of that support, he recognized that there are still plenty of concerns. Many homes will be affected, and a petition created back in October had collected over 300 names at this time, though there was no update on the current

amount of names collected or how the petition might affect the project. A public forum through the Augusta government website is open for any comments, and there may still be plans for another public meeting. “We will probably hold a public meeting sometime down the line, but nothing is scheduled,” Cassell said. A wider road isn’t the only idea wrapped up with the project. Adding a roundabout to help with traffic flow is also in the talks. “They are good for fluctuating traffic, and the real benefit is the safety,” said Cassell. The addition of a roundabout would help create a continuous flow of traffic rather than the constant stop and go due to traffic signals. Studies suggest that it would also lower the rate and severity of traffic accidents. No decision has yet to be made. The funding for the project — around $20 million altogether — comes from TSPLOST, the one percent sales tax that was applied for, voted on and passed back in July. All the funding for this project will come from this tax With a few more years until the construction begins, plenty of time exists for more changes. If all goes as currently planned, however, construction should be completed within 18 months to two years, making for a 2018 complete date.

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ERICJOHNSON

Riding Strong

Wheel Movement starts second full year with plenty of momentum

With lots of accomplishments spread over a short period of time, Wheel Movement, the local bicycle advocacy group, has become a major force in the local riding world, promoting rider education and safe cycling initiatives. Though the organization held its first membership drive in December 2011, Wheel Movement President Randy DuTeau considers 2012 to the first full year of operation, and the successes have been impressive. Probably the most noteworthy was hosting the first ever two-state bicycle summit, where bicycle advocacy groups were able to get together and share ideas.

“That was really significant, since when we started the bid we didn’t have that much of a track record,� DuTeau said. Despite being a young organization, the event went was a major success. The group will host its annual membership meeting and Ride of Celebration on Saturday, January 19, at Enterprise Mill. The Ride of Celebration was created as a way to commemorate Dr. Matthew Burke and Dr. Dan Dickinson, two Fort Gordon physicians who died after being struck by motor vehicles while riding. “A lot of communities will do these rides of silence to remember folks who have died as a result of motor vehicle/bicycle accidents, and I think that we had gone

through such a profound amount of grief in 2011 that we thought it might be more fitting and a nicer, more positive tribute to do a ride of celebration,� DuTeau said. The ride will offer options of 18 and 28 miles for the road riders, while recreational riders will be able to participate in an in-town tour led by Wheel Movement league-certified cycling instructors. DuTeau touted the league-certified cycling instructors as another one of the big accomplishments achieved last year. A grant from Georgia Bikes allowed five local cyclists to participate in the grueling weekend course offered through the League of American Bicyclists. “One of the three components of our overall mission is education, and so now, to have five certified instructors gives us a lot more credibility when we start launching education pieces, whether it’s a bicycle rodeo or something for law enforcement,� he says. Following the rides, which will begin at 9 a.m., the annual Wheel Movement membership meeting will begin, where the board will outline the organization’s accomplishments and chart out an agenda for 2013. Members will also have the opportunity to renew their memberships. They’ll also have a chance to talk about bicycle riding and road safety with like-minded individuals, which helps create the positive overall message the group wants to take out into the community at large. “One of the things we decided to do right out of the gate was to be an articulate, logical and positive voice for the community,� DuTeau said. “Because one of the things we saw in the aftermath of a lot of those high-profile incidents was a level of discourse was just disheartening.� Awareness of bicycles and their rights to the road are important parts of keeping incidents like the ones that killed Burke and Dickinson from happening. “We’d be naive to think incidents won’t happen, because they will,� DuTeau said. “But the thing I’m trying to get out there is that just because you have an aversion to us being out there, you still have to be mindful.� So does he think the roads have become safer? “I want to say that the roads are safer because after the incidents, even though the sensitivity was so heightened and a lot of times the exchanges weren’t so pleasant, you still saw for the most part that people were a little more aware,� he said. “So instead of blowing the horn, you were maybe able to wave.�

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ERICJOHNSON

Moving On

While Columbia County replaces Sentinel with another private probation company, other municipalities are making a case for bringing probation in-house

Mike Poppelwell

Filling the vacuum left by Sentinel Offender Service’s late December departure from Richmond and Columbia County Superior Court is CSRA Probation Services, an Evans-based company with over 13 years experience. CSRA Probation Services was chosen by Chief Judge J. Carlisle Overstreet and the contract was forwarded to the commissions of Richmond and Columbia counties. Sentinel, who still services Richmond County State Court, decided to leave the Superior Court after it was found the company had been providing probation services without a valid contract since 2000. According to Columbia County Administrator Scott Johnson, the law gives the chief judge the ability to choose probation providers, and though he and his staff had started investigating the possibility of providing the service themselves, their findings were very preliminary. “It was more fact finding for the commission side,” he says. “Those discussions hadn’t really gone much further than that.” Once Overstreet made the recommendation, Johnson says, there was no need to continue the study. All that was left was commission approval. Though giving the nod to another private probation provider remains consistent with the area’s method of handling probation, there are many communities in the state that have chosen to provide probation services themselves. According to the County and Municipal Probation Advisory Council (CMPAC), the governing body that registers and regulates misdemeanor probation providers in Georgia, the state has 34 private entities 14 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

and 54 governmental programs. Athens-Clarke County has become a model for returning probation services in-house. Like many municipalities across the state, it sought to use private contractors when the state decided to pass on the cost of misdemeanor probation to local jurisdictions in 2001. A 2007 audit of the private probation providers used by Athens-Clarke County revealed several deficiencies, including poor oversight, especially regarding the community service obligations of probationers and the completion of DUI school. In 2008, Athens-Clarke County approved the establishment of an in-house probation office, which included P.O.S.T. certified probation officers and a significant increase in supervision. “There were two major things that Athens-Clarke

County wanted,” says Dale Allen, that jurisdiction’s chief probation officer. “They wanted accountability, including financial, and they wanted all our officers to be sworn officers.” Allen, who actually teaches probation, calls his model of probation office a blend of the compliance model and the rehabilitative model. “First of all, we’re compliance,” he says. “That’s what we demand — compliance with the conditions of your probation. Second, we’ll try to get you any help possible if you want that help.” That kind of involvement is in sharp contrast with the service Sentinel continues to provide the State Court of Richmond County, where the probation officers are known to have little involvement with probationers beyond collecting money and filing paperwork. 17JANUARY2013


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Hall County, which is northeast of Atlanta, took back probation services last year, and while not every probation officer is P.O.S.T. certified, having at least some probation officers with arrest powers was important to them. “Private probation officers don’t have any authority to make any arrests,” says Reggie Forrester, Hall County’s court administrator and the architect behind its probation office. “They don’t have the authority to enter a house or check after hours.” A perfect example of the benefit of having officers with those powers occurred when a woman drove up from Savannah to report, Forrester says. She smelled strongly of marijuana, but before the Sheriff’s Department could get there, she was gone. “That’s just one example of being able to arrest folks when they come in and we know they’re in violation,” he says. “If we have a suspicion of that, then we can go ahead and restrict that movement right then ourselves.” Compliance with drug and alcohol conditions is an important part of their probation plan, so they moved the drug testing in-house as well. “In trying to prepare a person to have a positive impact on society, I think we need to do certain things, and drug testing is one of those things,” he says. “If we let those folks just dance around the system and get away with not being properly tested and that sort of thing, then we’re not accomplishing much.” Hall County took control of probation services in June 2012, and it immediately became clear that drug testing had not been a priority for the private contractor. “The first week we operated, we arrested 60 people who failed drug tests,” Forrester says. “They reported for drug tests with urine contained in prescription bottles, urine contained in hand-tied condoms and other things. It’s obvious that they had probably been doing their specimens in a room where nobody was present.” As word got out, these numbers diminished drastically. “It doesn’t accomplish anything to work with a probationer and have him dirty on alcohol and drugs,” he says. “We can’t help that person and we will never accomplish a positive outcome when these things are present.” Forrester seems to relish the rehabilitative aspects of his job. “If we have a probationer who loses his job, then we have a job search unit and we’re going to try to help that person find a job,” he says. “Putting a person in jail is not going to help the situation.” Beyond that, he’s also adjusted the hours of operation for reporting and for drug testing, allowing those on probation the opportunity to come in after normal 17JANUARY2013

business hours or on weekends so that they don’t have to lose part of their daily salary to come in or perhaps jeopardize their employment altogether. Knowing the fear that many would have in the face of such a monumental change, Forrester conducted a three-year study in which he analyzed different probation models, talked to different jurisdictions and worked the numbers down to the penny before he brought the idea to his commission. “How do you go to a county governing authority and ask them to provide $700,000-$750,000 for a brand new government department in the midst of an economic downturn,” he asks. Fortunately, the county commission had just purchased a new administrative building, which freed up a building where Forrester could put all of the different courts in what he calls a onestop shop, which allows drug testing, counseling, probation and the different courts to better communicate, something that could only help probationers. Forrester expects his 13-member probation department to break even, and though the financial self-sufficiency is certainly important, he says that taking control just felt like the right thing to do. “We had a pretty hard time, I guess, separating in our minds, both from an administrator’s standpoint and from a judicial standpoint, how a for-profit company could really have the operation and the interest of the probationers and their rehabilitation and reentry at heart,” Forrester says. “It’s just a philosophical difference that we had with that type of system.” There were also nagging uncertainties about the financial arrangement between the probation company and the county. “Understanding all the accounting was an issue for us, even though we could see the numbers,” Forrester says. “But seeing how all those funds were applied — we didn’t have access to a lot of that.” Similar worries have been dogging Sentinel here in Richmond County that the for-profit company uses the judicial system as a means to collect its fees. In a case set for trial January 25, Virginia Cash has been unlawfully incarcerated, her lawyers allege, because she can’t pay the $80 start up fee for electronic monitoring that was added to her 2006 sentence. The case argues that such a modification is not only illegal, but it serves no purpose other than to add to Sentinel’s bottom line. Again, this goes to the philosophical issues surrounding the motivations of a for-profit company. In Athens-Clarke County, the chief probation officer has the authority to waive supervision fees or ask the judge to convert fines to community service rather than have probationers jailed for probation violations, as is AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Probation Services President Mike Popplewell insists his company will handle things differently. “Our company philosophy has always been that we’re here to try to help people who are on probation,� he says. “We have found that the better we do, the better they do and everybody’s happy. You have a much better success rate with folks when you try to help them.� Popplewell worked in state probation for the Department of Corrections for almost 18 years before getting in on the ground floor when the law opened up the state for private misdemeanor probation companies. He started with one office serving one court and he now has 10 offices serving 53 or 54 separate courts, including the Columbia County Magistrate Court, the cities of Harlem, Hephzibah and Blythe, among others. “Our company is kind of low profile,� he says, “I think one of the things that really differentiates my company from a lot of companies in the state is that we really work to try to get people off of probation as quickly as possible and as easily as possible.� That said, he acknowledges that as a for-profit company he does have to keep an eye on the bottom line. “Obviously, as a private business you have to collect enough money to pay the bills or you won’t be in business very long,� he says. “But at the same time, my philosophy is that if you do a good job with the people you’re working with and they’re successful in their probation, then the revenue side is going to take care of itself.� Unlike Sentinel, a California-based company that has little interaction or oversight with their probationers, Popplewell insists his commitment to get the probationers through the process involves several different elements celebrated by the

often the case here. In Richmond County, each day in jail costs taxpayers approximately $48 and it accomplishes little beyond penalizing poor people for not being able to make payments to a private company. “We know that we have probationers go to jail from time to time for whatever reason, and we know that there’s a cost involved with the jail,� Forrester says. “However, we do understand that jail is not the answer to the issues. Jail should be the final encouragement to comply with your probation after we’ve tried everything else.� The same has not been said locally about Sentinel, which has a reputation for locking probationers up for not paying fines or fees. Attorney Jack Long has a slew of cases before Judge Danny Craig regarding Sentinel’s for-profit policies, and a look at the paperwork of Sentinel probationers seems to confirm his allegations. Receipts of a former probationer obtained by the Metro Spirit show that over the course of the probation period, the probationer’s fees to Sentinel totaled $1,680, while her fines totaled $1,200. In print, it appears to be an absolute — the Sentinel fee looks as final as the fine amount. Nowhere does it indicate that if the fines are paid off early, the fees cease to be charged. Another thing the receipts show is that, in violation of the contract with the State Court of Richmond County, Sentinel got its fee paid at the expense of the fines. On one occasion, Sentinel’s $35 came in and only $6 was applied to fines. On another, Sentinel got its $35, while just $16 went toward fines. According to the contract, that money should be split 50/50. Without calling out Sentinel by name, CSRA C

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government-run programs. “It’s not unusual for us to be in court and if somebody has a relatively small fine that they think they can’t pay, we’ll sit down with them and say, look — if you can make some arrangements and knock this thing out today or by the end of the week, we won’t charge you a supervision fee,� he says. “We do recognize that there are some situations where a person doesn’t really need to be on probation, and we don’t have a problem trying to facilitate them not to be on probation, because, frankly, there’s plenty of business. It’s not like there’s a shortage of people going through court.�

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17JANUARY2013


R.U.N.E ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED

Camper Van Beethoven Sky City | Wednesday, January 23 Doors, 8 p.m.; music, 9 p.m. | $12, advance; $15, day of show

Dear Dave, We in the newspaper business are supposed to be impartial, above the influences of mere mortals. However, there comes a time when this impartiality is no longer possible and we use our influence for gain. This is one of those times, when we use this space to plead with one of our favorite Daves in the music business (along with Pirner and Grohl, of course) to play one of our favorite Camper Van Beethoven songs when they visit Sky City next Wednesday. So here goes. Dear Dave Lowery: We know that “Pictures of Matchstick Men” and “Take the Skinheads Bowling” are far more popular CVB songs than “Jack Ruby” ever was. And don’t get us wrong: we love them as well. But as much as we love your ridiculous sense of humor and your earnestness in “One of These Days” and “All Her Favorite Fruits,” we love CVB best when the beat is driving and dreadful and the lyrics alternately make us smile and scare us a little bit. Such is “Jack Ruby,” one of your best creations. Please play it. If you can’t make this happen, we will begrudgingly accept “When I Win the Lottery” in its place. Sincerely: The Metro Spirit.

The Georgia-Carolina State Fair Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds Friday, October 12-Sunday, October 21 Monday-Friday from 5 p.m. and Saturdays and Sundays from noon georgiacarolinastatefair.org The Western Carolina State Fair Aiken Fairgrounds Thursday, October 18-Saturday, October 27 Monday-Friday from 5 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday from noon westerncarolinastatefair.com

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Celebrate the life and achievements of civil rights icon Dr. Martin Luther King with one of the many events going on throughout the area to celebrate the day, January 21, named in his honor. Events begin on Friday and continue with a parade on Saturday at 11 a.m., a memorial service on Monday at Paine College at 11 a.m. and a commemoration with live music and an awards ceremony at the Partridge Inn Monday at 5:30 p.m. For more information, see the Special Events section of the calendar.

ENTERTAIN

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Arts

Gallery Talk about Impressionism will be given at the Aiken Center for the Arts about the new exhibit at the Columbia Museum of Art, “Impressionism from Monet to Matisse,” Tuesday, Jan. 22 at 11 a.m. Free. Pre-registration required. 803-641-9094. Tour of Athens with Edward Rice will be offered as a Members’ Day Trip, Thursday, Jan. 24. Travel to Athens with local artist Edward Rice to meet his artist friends, including lunch at The National and a trip to the Georgia Museum of Art. Pre-registration required. Call 706-828-3803 or visit themorris.org. Corks & Canvas painting classes for adults 21 and over are held every Tuesday and Thursday night beginning at 7 p.m. and lasting 2-3 hours. Painting materials provided. Bring your own wine and clothes to paint in. $30; $25 with military I.D. Pre-registration required. Call 706-8680990, email pstudiollc@gmail.com or visit pstudio.com. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

“Blast From the Past” is a new exhibit currently on display at Augusta Museum of History in downtown Augusta to celebrate the museum’s 75th anniversary. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Third Horn brass quintet from Columbia County will perform at the Morris Museum of Art as part of the Music at the Morris series, 2 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 20. Free. Visit themorris.org.

“Local Legends” is a permanent exhibit highlighting Augusta notables on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Pianist Chris Atzinger will perform at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, noon, Tuesday, Jan. 22, as part of Tuesday’s Music Live. Lunch reservations required: $10. Concert free. Call 706-722-3463 or visit tuesdaysmusiclive.com.

“Protect and Serve,” an exhibit highlighting the stories of CSRA law enforcement officers, is on display at the Augusta Museum of History. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. “Delightful Decanters” is a temporary exhibit on display at the Augusta Museum of History featuring colorful bottles used to sell products as late as the 1970s. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Music

Sunday Brunch Piano with John Vaughn will be held 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at The Willcox in Aiken. Call 803-648-1898 or visit thewillcox.com.

Savannah River Bluegrass will play at The Stables restaurant in Aiken, 7-10 p.m., Friday, Jan. 18. Call 803-648-1181.

Brown Bag Book Discussion is Thursday, Jan. 17, from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org.

Guitarist Keith Gehle will perform at Covenant Presbyterian Church as part of the Covenant Concert Series 7:30 p.m., Friday, Jan. 18. Free. Offering will be taken in support of the concert series. Call 706-7330513 or visit covenantaugusta.org.

Local sculptor Brian Rust exhibits his work at Sacred Heart Cultural Center until Feb. 24. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta. org.

Dulcimer Jam will be held at Mistletoe State Park 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Sit back and enjoy the music or join in with an instrument of your as musicians from around the state play dulcimers, fiddles, banjoes, basses and harmonicas. $5 parking. Call 706-5412146 or visit gastateparks.org.

Aiken Retro Exhibition will be on display at the Aiken Center for the Arts through Feb. 25. Call 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. “Ebony Legacy Revisited” will be on display at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of African-American History through Feb. 28. Adults $5, seniors $3, kids $2. Call 706-724-3576 or visit lucycraftlaneymuseum. com.

Love’s Farewell concert will be presented by the Symphony Orchestra Augusta Georgia Health Sciences Symphony Series at First Baptist Church of Augusta, 7:30 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Features the work of Wagner and Bruckner with guest artists All Orchestral. $10 to $45. Visit soaugusta.org or call 706-826-4735.

Tying the Knot, a display of wedding dresses and accessories from the late 1800s to the 1960s, will be on exhibit at the Augusta Museum of History until May 2013. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Rhythm in Blue Jazz Ensemble will play at the North Augusta High School Auditorium Sunday, Jan. 20. Call 803-442-7588 or visit aikencountysc.gov.

17JANUARY2013

Irish music will be performed live at the Bean Baskette coffee shop in Evans 7:30 p.m., every Thursday night. Featuring Lillie Morris, and Mike and Joanne Hay. Call 706-447-2006.

Midday Music will be held at First Presbyterian Church in Aiken, noon, Thursday, Jan. 17. Free. Pre-registration required. Call 803-648-2662 or visit aikenpresbyterian.org.

Exhibitions

“Reflections on Water in American Painting” shows through Sunday, Feb. 10, at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris. org.

The Salvation Army School of the Performing Arts holds classes each Tuesday. Included is instruction in piano, drums, guitar, voice and brass. Call 706-364-4069 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Literary

It’s Your Book Club Meeting, featuring a discussion of Christopher Sullivan’s “The Noose on the Black Community,” is Thursday, Jan. 17, from 6:30-8:45 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. Used Book Sale will be held at the Appleby Branch Library, 10 a.m.- 1 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Nook tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a Nookcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Poetry Matters is accepting entries through March 23 for their annual poetry contest. Cash prizes will be given out. Categories are middle and high school, adults, and seniors. Visit poetrymatterscelebration.com.

Dance

Sock Hop Dance, featuring ‘50s and ‘60s music with DJ Bill Bailey, is Friday, Jan. 18, at 7 p.m. at the Elks Lodge in Martinez. Participants are AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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encouraged dress in the style of the era. $10; pre-registration required. Call 706-863-3308.

Branch Library in a school’s out movie for teens event that includes snacks. Free. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org.

Icicle Ball dance and social will be held at St. Thaddeus Church in Aiken, 6-11 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. $70 per person; $560 table of eight. Call 803-649-3800 or visit actsofaiken.org.

School’s Out Movie Matinee for kids, title to be announced, is Tuesday, Jan. 22, at 2:30 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Free. Call 706736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

Saturday Night Dance with live music is each Saturday night at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 from 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. $5. Call 706-495-3219.

“Fred Won’t Move Out” screening and reception will be held at the Morris Museum of Art, 6 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 22. $10 benefits the museum’s Connections program, which provides art experiences for people with Alzheimer’s and related dementia disorders. Visit themorris. org.

Karaoke is held every Friday night at the American Legion Post 205 on Highland Road. Call 706-495-3219. Belly Dance Class is held every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Euchee Creek Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org.

“Compliance,” written and directed by Craig Zobel, will kick off the Georgia Regents University Augusta Spring Film Series in University Hall, 7 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 22. General admission $3, free with JagCard. Call 706-729-2416 or visit aug.edu.

Augusta International Folk Dance Club meets Tuesday nights from 7:309:30 p.m. at the Augusta Ballet Studio on 2941 Walton Way. No partners needed. First visit free. Call 706-399-2477.

Special Events

Christian Singles Dance, a smoke-, alcohol- and drug-free event for those ages 40 and over, is each Saturday night at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Dance lessons start at 7 p.m., and the dance begins at 8 p.m. No partners needed. Members $8, guests $10. Call 706-8548888 or visit christiandances.org.

Pride and Passion: The African-American Baseball Experience opening night and reception takes place at the GRU Reese Library, 5:30 p.m., Friday, Jan. 18. Free. Call 706-667-4912 or visit aug.edu.

Zumba with Sohailla is held every Saturday from 10-11 a.m. at the Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. Call 706-421-6168 or visit zumbawithsohailla.blogspot.com.

Theater

“Frost/Nixon” will show at the Aiken Community Playhouse, 8 p.m., Friday-Saturday, Jan. 18-19. Call 803-648-1438 or visit acp1011.com. “The Parents of Tabatha Tutt vs. DJ Smoke” will be presented by Augusta Mini Theatre, Inc., at the Judith Simon Drama Studio, 8 p.m., Friday-Sunday, Jan. 18-20 and 3 p.m., Monday, Jan. 21. $12, $10 and $8. Call 706-722-0598. Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre needs set crew volunteers for “Legally Blonde: The Musical,” Monday-Friday, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. and on Saturdays 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Email steven.r.walpert.naf@mail.mil. Auditions for Enopion Theatre Company’s production of “The Story of Noah and His Great Big Gopher Boat,” which will show in March, are going on now by appointment. Parts are available for men and women 18 years and older. Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com.

Flix

“Frankenweenie” will show at the North Augusta Library, 10:30 a.m. and 4 p.m., Friday, Jan. 18. Bring your own refreshments. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org. “Voices of the Past: A Petersburg Boat Pilot” will be shown in the Augusta Museum of History theater at 11:30 a.m., and 12:30 and 1:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, Jan. 19-20. Free with museum admission. Visit augustamuseum.org. “Winnie the Pooh” shows Saturday, Jan. 19, at 2 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Pitch Perfect” shows Tuesday, Jan. 22, at 2 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes

20 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Martin Luther King, Jr. Observance Program will be held on college campuses in Augusta, noon-1 p.m., Friday, Jan. 18. Visit aug.edu.

Bingo Night With Parents will be held at GRU 6-8 p.m., Friday, Jan. 18. Visit aug.edu. Annual dinner will be presented by the Greater Aiken Chamber of Commerce, 7 p.m., Friday, Jan. 18. Call 803-643-6901 or visit uscatix. com. Wheel Movement of the CSRA, a local bicycle advocacy organization, hosts their annual membership meeting on Saturday, Jan. 19, beginning at 9 a.m. with a ride of celebration beginning and ending at Enterprise Mill, where the meeting at 11 a.m. will take place. Free; helmet mandatory for the ride and lunch will be provided for cyclists who join or renew their membership. Visit wheelmovementcsra.org. Martin Luther King Jr. Parade is Saturday, Jan. 19, at 11 a.m. beginning at the Dyess Park Community Center. Email augustanaacp@knology.net. Aiken Camellia Show will be presented by the Aiken Camellia Society at the Aiken Mall, 2-8 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19 and 1-5 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 20. Bring your blooms. Visit aikencountysc.gov or americancamellias.org. BBQ Cookout/Pickup will be held at the Augusta Jewish Community Center 5 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 20. Visit augustajcc.org. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Annual Memorial Service is Monday, Jan. 21, at 11:30 a.m. at Paine College’s Gilbert-Lambuth Chapel. Free. Visit paine. edu. A Salute to Our Youths and the Community Organizations Which Serve Them, a Martin Luther King, Jr. Celebration sponsored by the HBA Group will be held at The Partridge Inn, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Monday, Jan. 21, and includes jazz by Karen Gordon and Bill Carp, an awards celebration and more. $15-$30. Call 706-619-4176 or visit hbagroup-intl.com. Trivia Night will be held at The Curiosity Shop in Aiken, 7 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 22. Special short menu served at 6 p.m. Call 803-644-0004 or visit curiosityshoptea.com.

Weekly Wine Tastings at Vineyard Wine Market in Evans are held 4:306:30 p.m. Fridays, and 1-6 p.m. Saturdays. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com.

Health

Mobile Mammography Screenings will be held 8 a.m.-3 p.m. the following dates and locations: Thursday, Jan. 17 at University Hospital; Friday, Jan. 18 at Edgefield Medical Center; Monday, Jan. 21 at Target in Aiken; and Thursday, Jan. 24 at University Hospital. Appointment required. Call 706-774-4149 or 866-774-4141. Breastfeeding Class for expectant mothers will be held at Babies R Us in Evans 7-9 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 17. Free. Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Babies, Bumps and Bruises will be taught at Doctors Hospital 7 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 17. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Weekend Childbirth Education class will be held in the University Hospital Education Center 6:30-9:30 p.m., Friday, Jan. 18, and 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Free, but registration required. Call 706-774-2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Short and Sweet, a two-part labor and delivery class, will be held at Doctors Hospital 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19, and 1-5 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 20. Pre-registration required. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Class will be held in the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute, 2 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 22. Free. Preregistration required. Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org. Total Joint Replacement educational talk will be held at Doctors Hospital 1:30-3:30 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 22. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctorshospital.net. Childbirth Preparation four-week course, just for Aiken Regional Medical Center patients, will take place at Aiken Regional Medical Centers, 6-9 p.m., Jan. 22-Feb. 12. $25. Pre-registration required. Call 803-6415000 or visit aikenregional.com. I Need Surgery! Now What? Will be offered at the USCA Business Conference Center 6 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 22. Call 803-641-5000 or visit aikenregional.com. Fresh Start Smoking Cessation Class will be held in the University Hospital Cafeteria 6-7 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 22. Pre-registration required. Call 706-774-8094. Eating Heart Healthy will be held at the University Hospital Heart and Vascular Institute at 8:25 and 9:25 a.m., and 1:55 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 23. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org. Bariatric Seminar will be held 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24, at Doctors Hospital. Focuses on exploring options for medical weight loss. Drs. Michael Blaney and Darren Glass will speak. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-651-4343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Baby 101, a class focusing on newborn development and care, will be offered at Doctors Hospital 7-9:30 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24. Call 706651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Introduction to Infant CPR will be held at University Hospital 7-8:30 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24. Free, but pre-registration required. Call 706-774-

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2825 or visit universityhealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery Seminar will be held at the GHSU Alumni Center, 7 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24. Preregistration required. Call 706-721-2609 or visit georgiahealth.org. Group Meditation Class meets Thursdays from 5-6 p.m. at Mindbody Stress Reduction Programs, 42104A Columbia Road in Martinez. $20 per session. Preregistration required. Call 706-496-3935 or email mindbodystressreductionprogram@gmail.com. Tai Chi for Boomers is held at 6 p.m. every Tuesday and Thursday. Call 706-394-0590, email sbeasley@ augustameditation.com or visit augustameditation. com/taichi.html. Stress Management Classes are held at the University Hospital Heart & Vascular Institute at 8:15 a.m., 9:15 a.m. and 1:45 p.m. each Wednesday. Call 706-774-3278 or visit universityhealth.org. Childbirth Education Class will be held at the Georgia Health Sciences Medical Center 6:30 p.m. each Wednesday in January. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Health Sciences Children’s Medical Center. Call 706721-0793 or visit mcghealth.org. Recovery Support Group meets 7:30 p.m. Sundays and Fridays. Call 706-855-2419. Burn Support Group meets every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Doctors Hospital’s Lori Rogers Nursing Library, JMS Building. All burn survivors, and their families and friends are welcome. Call Tim Dorn at 706-651-6660 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Moms Connection, a weekly support group for new mothers, is held 1-2 p.m., each Tuesday. All moms and babies welcome. Free. Call 706-721-9351 or visit georgiahealth.org. Narcotics Anonymous meets Fridays and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Trinity Hospital of Augusta. Visit na.org. AA meets every Sunday and Wednesday at 7:15 p.m. at Aiken Regional Medical Centers’ Aurora Pavilion, and includes an open discussion. Call 800-322-8322 or visit aikenregional.com. Beyond the Bars is a support group for those with incarcerated loved ones. Call 706-855-8636.

Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s Disease Aquatics Class meets every Monday and Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y. Members, free; non-members, $3. Pre-registration required. Call Claudia Collins at 706922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org.

Diabetes Youth Support Group meets quarterly. Call 706-868-3241 or visit universityhealth.org.

Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Orientation is every Monday at 6 p.m. and Tuesday at 2 p.m. at University Hospital’s Heart & Vascular Institute (Classroom 3). Call 706-774-5548 or visit universityhealth.org.

Families Who Have Lost a Baby Support Group is offered by GHSU. Call 706-721-8299 or visit georgiahealth.org.

Joint Efforts, presented by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets from 11-11:45 a.m. every Thursday at Augusta Bone and Joint, and features a free seminar about knee and hip pain, treatments, medication, food and exercise. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Infant CPR Anytime Learning Program is held at 6:30 p.m. every Thursday at the first floor information desk (west entrance) of Georgia Health Sciences University. Visit georgiahealth.edu. Adapted Evaluation, a 30-minute initial and annual evaluation including medical history and water assessment, is offered at the Wilson Family Y. $25. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Special Populations classes offered at the Wilson Family Y. Members $10; non-members $20. Call 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Adapted Wii Special Populations available by appointment at the Wilson Family Y, and feature individual half-hour classes for physically and developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. Members, $10; non-members, $20. Call 706-9229662 or visit thefamilyy.org. Living With Diabetes, a program designed to teach skills needed to manage diabetes, is offered at Trinity Hospital. Physician referral required. Call 706481-7535 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Support

Weight Loss Support Group meets at Doctors Hospital 6 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 17. Call 706-6514343 or visit doctors-hospital.net. Parkinson’s Disease Support Group meets at St. Johns Towers 6 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 22. Parkinson’s specialist Dr. Kapil Sethi will speak. Call 706-8636355. Sleep Apnea Support Group will meet 7-9 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24 at the Resource Library at Georgia 17JANUARY2013

Cardiac Support Group meets three times a year. Call 706-774-5864 or visit universityhealth.org.

Adult Sexual Assault and Rape Support Group provides group counseling at University Hospital for those who have experienced sexual assault, incest, rape or childhood sexual abuse. Call 706-724-5200 or visit universityhealth.org. Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop drinking. Call 706-860-8331. Gamblers Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop gambling. Call 800-313-0170. Lupus Support Group meets at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-394-6484.

Education

Computing for Beginners, a three-session class, meets Thursdays, Jan. 17, 24 and 31, at 10 a.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Creating Flyers and Business Cards Class is Thursday, Jan. 17, from 6-7:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Middle and Upper School Open House is Thursday, Jan. 17, at 6:30 p.m. at Westminster Schools of Augusta. Call 706-731-5260 or visit wsa.net. Basics of Creating a Will With S.C. Legal Aid will be presented at the Aiken Public Library 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 17. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbelib.org. Call 803-641-3569 or 803-617-9348, or visit usca.edu. Introduction to Floral Designs four-part series will be offered at the Highgrove Club House in Evans, beginning 8-11:30 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. $20 per session includes cost of textbook. Pre-registration required. Refreshments provided. Call 706-5563417 or visit gardenclub.org. Stargazing at the Boyd Observatory will be offered 5-7 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Visit boydobservatory. org. AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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Educators: Job Search Strategies to Chart Your Path will be held at GRU, 5-6 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 23. Visit aug.edu.

The Joy of Signing meets every Thursday from 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

College Monday, Jan. 21. Lady Jags begin play 5:30 p.m.; Jaguars begin play at 7:30 p.m. Call 706-737-1626 or visit jaguarsroar.com.

Educators: Craft Resumes That Get the Interview! will be held at GRU, 5-6 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24. Visit aug.edu.

Computer classes are offered every Thursday at 6 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Financial Aid Workshop will be offered at USC-Aiken, 6:30 p.m., Tuesday, Jan. 24. Visit usca.edu.

Augusta Museum of History in downtown Augusta is open ThursdaySaturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday 1-5 p.m. Closed Monday-Wednesday. Adults $4, seniors $3, kids 6-18 $2, children 5 and under free. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org.

Soul City Sirens Roller Derby Recruitment Night for skaters, referees and non-skating officials ages 18 and older is Friday, Jan. 18, at 7 p.m. at Fleet Feet Sports on Furys Ferry Road. Email training@ soulcitysirens.com.

Intermediate Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 2:30-4 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Beginner’s Spanish Language Class is each Monday from 4-5 p.m. at Friedman Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Free Tutoring for all ages, offered by ASU’s Literacy Center, is available by appointment Monday-Thursday, from 4-8 p.m., at the center at 1401 Magnolia Drive. Appointments required. Call 706-737-1625 or visit aug.edu. Guided tours of 1797 Ezekiel Harris House offered by appointment only Tuesday-Friday, and Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Last tours of the day begin at 4 p.m. Adults, $2; children, $1. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustamuseum.org. GED Classes are held Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. English as a Second Language (ESL) classes are offered every Tuesday from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-8212600 or visit ecgrl.org. Fort Gordon Toastmasters meets 11:30 a.m. each Wednesday in the Organizational Conference Room (Fish Bowl) on Fort Gordon Army base. Open to public. Visit fortgordon.toastmastersclubs.org. Adult Hebrew Class is taught at Congregation Children of Israel at 10:30 a.m. every Thursday. Email office@cciaugusta.org or visit cciaugusta.org.

Historic Trolley Tour of Augusta boards at the Augusta Museum of History at 2 p.m., Saturdays. See historic sites and hear spooky legends. $2, including admission to the museum. Pre-registration required 24 hours in advance. Call 706-722-8454 or visit augustaga.org.

Benefit

Dog Gone Cold 5K Run/Walk will be held at the Julian Smith Barbecue Pit, 9:30 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Participants encouraged to bring canine companions. Benefits local animal rescue. $25 for 5K; $10 for Fun Run. Visit hopefulhounds.org. Grits ‘n’ Grins will meet at 5:30 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24, at O’Charley’s to create handmade baby blankets, hats and scarves to be given out as Christmas gifts to newborns up to age 12 through Salvation Army programs. Beginner materials provided for those who interested in learning to knit, crochet or loom. Call 706-434-3185 or email katebooth51@yahoo.com or cbhathcox@comcast.net. Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio in downtown Aiken at 10 a.m. each Friday. Participation is free with donation of a personal item to be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com. Pet adoptions are held by CSRA Happy Tails Rescue at the Mullins Crossing Petco in Evans from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. each Sunday and from 1-4 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at the Tractor Supply Company. Visit csrahappytails.com.

Sports-Outdoors

Augusta State Lady Jags and Jaguars will play at Christenberry Fieldhouse against Flagler Thursday, Jan. 17 and against Georgia

PSJ Highfields Series takes place at the Highfields Event Center in Aiken, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Saturday-Sunday, Jan. 19-20. Call 803-649-3505 or visit psjshows.com. Racquetball Tournament will be held at Patriots Park in Grovetown 9 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. $10 per player. Visit columbiacountyga.gov. Field trip to Merry Brothers Brickyard Ponds will be held by the Augusta-Aiken chapter of the Audubon Society, 9 a.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. They will be looking for waterfowl. Free. Visit augustaaikenaudubon. org, or call 706-793-2788 or 803-215-1594. USCA Baseball Extra Inning Bull Riding kicks off the Augusta Futurity at the James Brown Arena, 8 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. $22, $18 and $10. Benefits USC Aiken Baseball scholarship fund. Separate ticket required. Call 706-262-4573, email mcecchiniATarccc.com, or visit augustaentertainmentcomplex.com or augustafuturity.com. 34th Annual Augusta Futurity continues at the James Brown Arena, 8 a.m., Sunday, Jan. 20 through Saturday, Jan. 26. Call 706-823-3417 or visit augustafuturity.com. Soul City Sirens Roller Derby Fresh Meat Orientation Night is Monday, Jan. 21, at 7 p.m. at Red Wing Rollerway. For beginning skaters, referees and non-skating officials ages 18 and older. Email training@ soulcitysirens.com. Basketball Adult Registration held at Aiken Family Y through Feb. 6. Members $40; nonmembers $60. Visit thefamilyy.org. Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-8265809 or email alsalley@wrh.org. Yoga Class at Euchee Creek Library

Come in for a tour TODAY!

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&DOO.HOOLH3XJKDW WRVFKHGXOH\RXUSHUVRQDOWRXUWRGD\ 353 N. Belair Rd | Evans M O R N I N G S I D E O F E V A N S . C O M 22 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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meets every Tuesday at 4 p.m. Call 706-556-0594 or visit ecgrl.org. Weekly Group Runs include the Monday Metro Run meeting at Metro Coffeehouse at 6 p.m.; Monday Intervals meeting at the Family Y track on Wheeler Road at 7 p.m.; the Tuesday Nacho Mama’s Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Blanchard Woods Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday Stay in Shape Group Run at 6 p.m.; Wednesday’s Post Office Hill Training Run at 7 p.m.; Thursday’s Homer Hustle at 6 p.m.; and Saturday’s Stay in Shape Run at 8 a.m. Visit augustastriders.com. Augusta Canal Interpretive Center and Petersburg boat tours winter schedule runs through March 31 and is as follows: The Center is open from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Hour-long Petersburg boat canal tours depart at 11:30 a.m., 1:30 and 3 p.m. Admission to Center is $6, or free with $12.50 boat tour ticket. Seniors 65+, active military/dependent and students (age 4-grade12 or with valid college I.D.) are $2. One child under 3 per ticketed adult may get in free. Closed Christmas Day and New Year’s Day. Call 706-823-0440, ext. 4. Groups call ext. 7. Visit augustacanal.com. The Augusta Fencers Club is open five nights a week from 5:30-9 p.m. and most Saturday mornings from 10 a.m.-noon. Visitors always welcome. Call 706722-8878. The Augusta Rugby Club holds weekly practice sessions at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch in Augusta. Experienced players and newbies ages 18 and up are welcome. Bring a pair of cleats or cross trainers, a mouthguard, gym shorts and a T-shirt. Visit augustarugby.org or Facebook under the Augusta Rugby Club heading. Hott Shott Disc Golf is held each Wednesday at 7 p.m. at Killer B Disc Golf in downtown Augusta, and features games and prizes for all ages and skill levels. $2. Call 706-814-7514 or visit killerbdiscgolf. blogspot.com/p/hott-shott. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net. Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. Entry fee $5; ace pool $1. Call 803-215-8181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-724-6777 or visit andyjordans. com. Guided Trail Rides at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are available Saturdays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., noon, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; Sundays at 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and noon; and Wednesday-Friday at 11 a.m. with reservations 24 hours in advance. All trail rides are on a first-come, first-served basis, and participants should arrive 30 minutes prior to the trail ride starting for sign in procedures. $23-$30. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. Lakeside Rideouts at Hilltop Riding Stables at Fort Gordon are each Sunday beginning at 1:30 p.m. on a first-come, first-served basis. The ride, which begins at 2 p.m., is a two-hour guided ride to Wilkerson Lake. $45-$50. Call 706-791-4864 or visit fortgordon.com. BlazeSports Swim Team, for all ages of physically challenged swimmers who want to train for 17JANUARY2013

competition, meets at the Wilson Family Y. Members $35 a month; non-members $50 a month. Preregistration required. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Kids-Teens

Winter Fun Craft Workshop, in which participants will make a snowman, Jack Frost puppet and snowman paper bag puppet and should bring their own glue, crayons and/or markers, is Thursday, Jan. 17, at 11 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Craft Club Meeting, for those ages 6-11, meets Thursday, Jan. 17, at 5:30 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Teen Bad Art Night will be held at the Aiken Public Library 6-7 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 17. Call 803-6427575 or visit abbe-lib.org. Honky Tonk Angels will be presented by Augusta Preparatory Day School Upper School, 7 p.m. Thursday-Saturday, Jan. 17-19. Adults $12; students $10. Call 706-863-1906.

UltimateRideAndFitness.com

Childcare and Babysitting Safety is offered at Trinity Hospital for students 11-14 years old, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. $30. Lunch provided. Call 706481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Author Visit and Story Time, featuring Dr. Cargill Alleyne, author of “Ned’s Head,” is Saturday, Jan. 19, at 11 a.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Sing, Clap, Wiggle, Shake, a kids program presented by Garden City Jazz and featuring special guest Pickles the Clown, is Saturday, Jan. 19, from noon-2 p.m. at the Aiken County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-495-6238 or visit gardencityjazz. com. Parents’ Night Out will be offered at the Aiken Family Y, 6-9:30 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Members $15; nonmembers $25. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Ancient Sky Lore will be offered at DuPont Planetarium, 7-8 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Call 803641-3654. Digistar Laser Fantasy will be offered at DuPont Planetarium, 8-9 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Call 803641-3654. One-Day Camp is Monday, Jan. 21, from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. at Bricks 4 Kidz’s Creativity Center. $40, with pre-registration required. Call 706-513-5789 or visit bricks4kidz.com/csra. School Days Out will be offered at the Wilson Family Y, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Monday-Tuesday, Jan. 21-22. Members $25; nonmembers $50. Visit thefamilyy. org. Jr. Rangers: Wildlife program will be held at Mistletoe State Park 9:30 a.m.-2 p.m., Monday, Jan. 21. $20 program; $5 parking. Call 706-541-0321 or visit gastateparks.org. Story Time and Crafts, sponsored by the Morris Museum of Art, is Tuesday, Jan. 22, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Poetry Matters Workshop for High School Students, in which participants in grades 9-12 will learn about poetry in time to submit work to the Poetry Matters contest in April, is Tuesday, Jan. 22, from 4-5 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Financial Wellness Month Activities for teens, led by representatives of local consumer credit agencies, who will assist participants with money management,

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3830 Washington Road, Suite 16 AUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

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is Tuesday-Thursday, Jan. 22-24, at 5 p.m. at the Columbia County Library. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. All About Trucks Story Time is Wednesday, Jan. 23, at 10 a.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Baby Story Time will be held at the Aiken Public Library 10:15-10:35 a.m., Wednesday, Jan. 23. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org. Toddler Story Time will be held at the North Augusta Public Library 10:30-11 a.m. and at the Aiken Public Library 11-11:30 a.m., Wednesday, Jan. 23. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org. Preschool Story Time will be held at the North Augusta Public Library 11:15-11:45 a.m. and at the Aiken Public Library 11:30-noon, Wednesday, Jan. 23. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org. French Language Class will be held at the Aiken Public Library for grades 1-5, 4 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 23. Call 803-642-7575 or visit abbe-lib.org.

Guitarist Keith Gehle will perform at Covenant Presbyterian Church as part of the Covenant Concert Series 7:30 p.m., Friday, January 18. Free. Offering will be taken in support of the concert series. Call 706-733-0513 or visit covenantaugusta.org.

Lower School Open House is Thursday, Jan. 24, at 6:30 p.m. at Westminster Schools of Augusta. Call 706-731-5260 or visit wsa.net. Pajama Party will be held at the Aiken Public Library for grades K-5, 7-8 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24. Kids can party in their PJs with stories, games and snacks. Pre-registration required. Call 803-642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Spring Soccer Registration with the Columbia County Recreation and Events Department will be held through Friday, Jan. 18. Boys and girls leagues are ages under 8’s, 10’s and 12’s. Co-ed soccer leagues are under 11, and 18 and under. $70 first child, $60 second child, $50 third child for Columbia County residents. First-timers should bring birth certificate. Call 706-863-7523 or visit columbiacountyga.gov. Drawing and Painting Classes are offered in January at the Family Y of Aiken for ages 6-12. Creations will be displayed in a spring art show. $35 and $55 per session. Financial aid available. Visit thefamilyy.org. Reading with Ringling Bros., a special program at the Headquarters, Appleby and Diamond Lakes branch library, starts in January. Kids ages 2-12 who read five books receive one child’s tickets. Rewards cards are available at each branch’s circulation desk. Visit ecgrl.org. Basketball and Soccer Registration is being offered throughout January at the North Jefferson Family Y. $30 and $50. Visit thefamilyy.org. Tae Kwon Do will be offered for all skill levels age 5 and up at the Family Y of Aiken County, North Augusta, Augusta South and the Wilson Family Y. Pre-registration required. Visit thefamilyy.org. Winter Basketball is held January-March at the Family Y of North Jefferson for ages 7-18 years. Members $30; nonmembers $50. Call 706-547-2653 or visit thefamilyy.org. African-American History Month Trivia Contest begins in January fro those ages 8-11. Pick up a form from the registration desk, fill it out and drop it in the contest box. A prize will be awarded for the entry with the most correct answers and will be announced in February. Call 706863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Little Friends Gym, a parent and child class for those ages 6 months-4 years, is held each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Story Time is held at the Columbia County Library at 10:15 and 11 a.m., Tuesdays, for kids under 2 years old; at 10:15 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 2-year-olds; at 11 a.m., Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for preschoolers; and at 4 p.m., Wednesdays, for all ages. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Loud Crowd, a supervised after-school program for those ages 4-12, is Monday-Friday from 3-6 p.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. 24 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Homeschool PE Time, for elementary school aged kids, meets MondayFriday, from 9-11 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Members free. Call 706-3645762 for non-member prices. Visit krocaugusta.org. Mother’s Morning Out is every Tuesday and Thursday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., at the Wilson Family Y for children ages 3-4. The schedule follows the Richmond County school calendar. $90 per month for members; $110 per month for non-members. Register at any Family Y or visit thefamilyy. org. Tai Chi Panda, a Chinese martial arts program for kids ages 5-13, meets Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ages 5-7 meet at 4 p.m.; ages 8-10 meet at 5 p.m.; ages 11-13 meet at 6 p.m. Call 706-394-0590 or visit augustameditation.com/taichi.html. Preschool Story Time is every Tuesday at Headquarters Branch Library at 10 a.m. Toddler Story Time is every Wednesday at 10 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held every Tuesday at 10 a.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Groups of six or more must pre-register. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. at Harlem Branch Library. Call 706-556-9795 or visit ecgrl.org. Lap-Sit Story Time, for children under two, is every Tuesday at the Columbia County Library at 11 a.m. Story time for two-year-olds is every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10:15 a.m. and for preschoolers at 11 a.m. Group registration required. Call 706-863-1946 or visit ecgrl.org. Kroc Trotters Running Group, for those ages 16 and older, meets at 6:30 p.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Kroc Center to run the trails of the Augusta Canal. $15. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Story Time is held every Wednesday from 10-11:15 a.m. at Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is held each Wednesday at 10 a.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Pre-registration required for groups. Call 706-793-2020 or visit ecgrl.org. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com. Story Time is held each Wednesday at the Appleby Branch Library from 10:05-10:20 a.m. for toddlers age 18-35 months, and from 10:3011:15 a.m. for preschool kids age 3 and up. An adult must remain with the child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org.

Story Time is every Wednesday at Appleby Branch Library from 10:0510:20 a.m. for toddlers 18 months-35 months, and from 10:30-11:15 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3 and up. Parent must stay with child. Call 706-736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Story Time is every Wednesday at 10:15 a.m. for Pre-K, and either 11 or 11:30 a.m. for preschoolers at Aiken County Public Library. Call 803642-2023 or visit abbe-lib.org. Story Time is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 a.m. for toddlers and 11:15-11:45 a.m. for preschoolers at North Augusta Branch Library. Call 803-279-5767 or abbe-lib.org. Story Time at the Euchee Creek Branch Library, for all ages, is held each Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. and each Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. Call 706-5560594 or visit ecgrl.org. Study Hall for teens meets Wednesdays from 3-5 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org/ teens. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484. Mudpuppies, an arts and crafts program for ages 2-5, is held each Thursday at 10:45 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages 5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-854-0149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Kroc Tots Activity Hour, for those 5 and under, meets every Friday from 9-10 a.m. at the Kroc Center. Free, members; $1, non-members. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Fun-Time Fridays, for ages 2-5, is held each Friday at 10:45-11:30 a.m. at the Warren Road Community Center. Call 706-860-2833 or visit augustaga.gov. Gesher, a teen program for post b’nai mitzvah youngsters (7th-12th grade), meets every other Sunday at Adas Yeshurun Synagogue. Call 706-733-9491. Pre-registration for the next session of story times at the Columbia County Library is being offered now. Call 706-447-7657 or visit ecgrl. org. Creek Freaks, a Georgia Adopt-a-Stream team of middle- and highschool students, meets regularly at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park to monitor the health of Butler Creek. Call 706-796-7707 or visit naturalscienceacademy.org. 17JANUARY2013


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Fairy Tale Ballet is held at the Family Y of Aiken County. Offered once a week for one month for a total of four classes. Members $25/month; nonmembers $35/month. Visit thefamilyy.org. Soccer Registration being held through January at Aiken Family Y for ages 3-12 years. Members $40; nonmembers $60 for 3-4 years. Members $55; nonmembers $75 for 5-12 years. Season is March 23-May 11. Visit thefamilyy.org.

Seniors

Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc. gov. Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Yoga I and II are offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:306:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc. gov. Silver Sneakers, a senior exercise class, meets each Wednesday and Friday from 1:30-2:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org. Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.-noon, Mahjong each Thursday from 1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.2:30 p.m., and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Dancin’ with the Young at Heart, an event geared toward those ages 50 and older although anyone is welcome, is each Friday at 7:30 p.m. at the Aiken DAV. In addition to dancing to Yesterday’s Sounds, there will also be prize drawings, snack and drinks. $6. Call 803-292-3680.

Hobbies

Wine Tasting will be held at Wine World in North Augusta, 5-8 p.m., Friday, Jan. 17. Call 803-2799833. Oolong and Black Tea Seminar will be held at The Curiosity Shop in Aiken, 4-7 p.m., Thursday, Jan. 24. $20. Call 803-644-0004 or visit curiosityshoptea. com. Bingo is held every Sunday at 1:30 p.m. and every Monday and Thursday at 7 p.m. at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles Post 1197 on Scott Road. Free. Call 706-495-3219. Bingo is held every Saturday at 1 p.m. at American Legion Post 205 on Highland Avenue. Call 706-4953219. Crafters Night is each Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta. org. Simple Cooking Class meets each Monday from 6:308:30 p.m. at the Kroc Center. Call 706-364-5762 or 17JANUARY2013

visit krocaugusta.org.

Thursday from 3:30-6 p.m. Call 706-796-5046, email mparks37@comcast.net or visit machacademy. com.

The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at North Augusta Church of Christ on W. Martintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org.

Miracle League Baseball, held by the Family Y, is looking for volunteers. Call 706-922-9597 or visit thefamilyy.org. Rape Crisis and Sexual Assault Services is seeking volunteer advocates for Richmond, Burke, Jefferson and McDuffie counties. Advocates answer crisis calls and respond to hospitals in their area within 30 minutes. Call 706-774-2746 or email volunteerrcsas@uh.org.

Spiritual

Bible Teaching Seminar will be held at the Jackson Road Library, noon-1 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. Topic is Ruth and Boaz at the threshing floor. Participants should bring their Bibles. Visit donaldsao.com.

Reed Creek Park offers opportunities to volunteers interested in collecting important data each month on the health of a local stream for the state of Georgia. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark. com.

Sunday activities at the Kroc Center include an adult Bible class at 9:30 a.m., youth Sunday school at 9:45 a.m., and a worship service at 11 a.m. Free. Call 706-364-5762 or visit krocaugusta.org.

Volunteer

Aiken Regional Medical Centers is looking for volunteers. Call 803-641-5021 or visit aikenregional. com. The Greater Augusta Arts Council offers volunteer opportunities for those interested in volunteering for events like Arts in the Heart, First Friday and special concerts, as well as helping in the GAAC office. Call 706-826-4702 or visit augustaarts.com. Hospice Care of America’s Augusta office needs administrative and patient care volunteers. No experience necessary; training will be provided. Call Rich Boland at 706-447-2626 or email rboland@ msa-corp.com. MACH Academy is looking for volunteers to provide tutoring, academic support and mentoring services during fall after-school sessions held Monday-

United Hospice of Aiken, which covers Aiken, Edgefield, McCormick, Barnwell and Allendale counties, needs volunteers to visit with patients or work in the office. Training is provided. Call 803641-0060 or email kathibault@uhs-pruitt.com.

Elsewhere

Martin Luther King Celebration will be held at the Tabernacle Baptist Church in Blackville, S.C., 3 p.m., Sunday, Jan. 20. Public is invited. Call 803-2843296. Contra Dance Class will be taught at the Arsenal Hill Park Building in Columbia, 6:15-10:30 p.m., Saturday, Jan. 19. $8 and $5. Call 803-760-5581 or email info@contracola.org.

Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” will show at The Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta, 7:30 p.m., through Jan. 27. Sunday shows begin at 6:30 p.m. $15. Call 404-874-5299 or visit shakespearetavern.com. “Anxious Visions” by surrealist Michael Northuis will be on display at the Columbia Museum of Art until April 7. Call 803-799-2810. Story time is held at the Warren County Library in Warrenton at 10:30 a.m., Wednesdays. Call 706465-2656. Thursday Nights at the High, a special event at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, offers half-price tickets from 4-8 p.m. each Thursday. A guided tour is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4200 or visit high.org. Story time and craft is held at the Burke County Library in Waynesboro at 10:30 a.m., Fridays, for preschoolers. Call 706-554-3277. Story time is held at the Midville Branch Library in Midville at 4:30 p.m., Fridays. Call 478-589-7825. Story time is held at the Sardis Branch Library in Sardis at 3:30 p.m., Fridays. Call 478-569-4866

If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

Mobile Mammography Screenings will be held 8 a.m.3 p.m., Wednesday, Jan. 23 at Walgreens in Thomson. Call 706-774-4149 or 866-774-4141.

DECLASSIFIED Rape Crisis & Sexual Assault Services

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METROSPIRIT 25


V24|NO03

Crazy Movie Lady

Is a better spot in line worth fighting about? Apparently so.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a “wow that lady is freaking crazy” story. I’ve thought about it, too. Have I stopped paying attention as much, or are the loons somewhere else entirely? Well, that’s what I thought until I met the woman who yelled at me at the movies. On Christmas day, our entire family planned to go to the movies. We don’t usually go anywhere, but (and make fun of me if you’d like) we’re all big fans of “Les Miserables.” I saw it for the first time when I was in seventh grade. My dad took a friend and me to see it at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta. We got dressed up, drank sparkling grape juice and became forever obsessed with the world of musical theater. I’ve seen in in NYC and again in Atlanta. If it’s not my favorite, it’s right there at the top of my list. In spite of mixed reviews, we all wanted to see the movie on opening day. Everyone in Augusta did, too. Fortunately, we bought our tickets ahead of time, so we got to skip that line. Unfortunately, there was a crazy long line inside, though. I guess we expected it. After all, it was opening day for a highly anticipated movie. The theater was slam packed. The people waiting for concessions filled the roped-off area and then some. There was also a line about 150 people deep of people simply waiting to get in to the specific theater — No. 11. As we settled in to our spots in line, we exchanged polite grievances with the people walking up behind us. “This line is so long! Ha ha ha.” “Woah, look at those people cutting in line… oh nevermind, they figured it out. “ We talked and joked, as people waiting in line together do. Then, the lady walked up. The line started to move a bit, so it was a little chaotic. We were slowly moving towards theater No. 11, but as we walked, new people entering the building weren’t sure where to go. Most of them figured it out, though. Not the lady. I don’t hide the fact that I dislike cheaters and liars. Even if it’s not a huge deal, like two people trying to cut in line, I can’t help but let them know how I feel. She sort of worked her way in to the line in a sly way, or so she thought. The

26 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

people behind me were talking about her and starting to get frustrated. Trying not to assume the worst, I wondered if she really was just confused. So I asked, “Excuse me, are y’all here to see ‘Les Mis’?” He son told me they were, so I kept my friendly tone and explained that there was a line that we’d all been waiting in for quite some time, but the end wasn’t too far behind me. The lady ignored me. She and the guy with her turned around and walked ahead. The old me would’ve probably said something rude. The new me says something rude in a nice way. “Nevermind! Merry Christmas to you too!” And then she lost it. She yelled “JUST GO AHEAD THEN.” I laughed and said that it wasn’t that big of a deal at all, and she can her family should proceed. She yelled again. “GET AWAY FROM ME.” She was pulling her family back away from me. The only thing I’m saying to her is “please, just go ahead. It is just a movie. It’s not that big of a deal. No need to cause a scene.” She yelled again. “I DON’T WANT YOU EVEN NEAR ME.” She dragged her son/husband/nephew/ friend backwards, pulling as hard as she could. You know what, lady? It’s a deal. You go your way. I’ll go mine. I walked in to the theater and found my seat. Along the way, people commented on her behavior, asking what happened. I explained that there was obviously a misunderstanding. Don’t think I didn’t take my time leaving the theater after the movie ended. I was scared. I don’t like being in trouble. I probably shouldn’t have made the snarky comment to her about cutting in line, but is that worth fighting about? Apparently it is. I just hope she holds up her end of the separation agreement.

JENNYWRIGHT lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

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VALERIEEMERICK

Audience Participation

Upcoming production asks theatergoers to render verdict

There’s an ongoing debate in society about our children and the influences of popular culture and who should be held responsible when “good kids go bad.” Do we blame the media and pop culture? Do we blame the parents? Is it a composite effect of all those things? Tyrone Butler and The Augusta Mini Theatre will tackle this hot-button issue in the upcoming production of “The Parents of Tabatha Tutt vs. DJ Smoke.” The play, which was written and directed by Butler, tells the story of a sweet, young girl, Tabatha Tutt, who becomes a fan of a local disc jockey, DJ Smoke, who likes to play unedited versions of songs on his afternoon radio show. “When Tabitha was about 12.5 years old, she was in a car with her cousin going to the mall,” explains Butler. “He had his radio on listening to this new guy in town, DJ Smoke, that’s when she heard him for the first time and she fell in love. She loved his voice, his radio personality and everything. She couldn’t wait to listen to DJ Smoke every day.” But Tabitha didn’t just stop at listening to the radio show, Butler explains further. “She heard that he was having a teen club, and that he would be playing the music [from his radio show] and she would sneak out on Saturday nights to go to his teen club,” he says. “She would dance and enter this dance contest called the ‘DJ Smoke nasty dance contest’ and she would win. She got so popular that people started calling her ‘nasty girl’.” So where are the parents in all of this? “Her parents knew nothing about it,” says Butler. “She would slip back in the house, and the next morning would still go to church and everything so she fooled her parents really well.” By the time Tabatha is 17 she has three kids and is pregnant with a fourth. She has AIDS and is trying to get on government assistance and apply for Section 8 housing. Her parents, in desperation, decide to sue DJ Smoke, “if not for Tabatha,” says Butler, “maybe to help future children,” and get this unedited, inappropriate music off the radio. The story takes place in a courtroom. “I am an old fan of Perry Mason, the TV series,” says Butler. “And we go to court because the parents of Tabatha Tutt feel that DJ Smoke played music with lyrics that motivated their daughter to go in a negative direction.” In an interesting twist, the audience gets to be the jury. At the intermission of the play — the audience gets a ballot and will vote guilty or not guilty after hearing testimony from the parents, DJ Smoke and expert witnesses. The ballots will be tallied and given to the bailiff who will then give the info to the judge. Following the play there will be a discussion for those who want to participate. “What I want,” says Butler, “is the audience to debate the issue — especially the parents. ‘What is my role, what else is out there that is interfering with my parenting?’” “The Parents of Tabatha Tutt vs. DJ Smoke.” Augusta Mini Theatre Friday, January 18, at 8 p.m.; Saturday-Sunday, January 19-20, at 3 and 8 p.m.; and Monday, January 21, Saturday-Sunday, February 16-17, at 3 p.m. $12, adults; $10, children and students 18 and younger; $8, groups of 10 or more 706-722-0598 | augustaminitheatre.com 17JANUARY2013

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METROSPIRIT 27


V24|NO03

AMYCHRISTIAN

New Focus

Long-time fitness instructor begins new venture in Hammond’s Ferry Lynn Horseman has been teaching fitness classes in the Augusta area for almost 40 years. And while you’ve probably seen her at a fitness center near you, she’s now out on her own and using the great outdoors as a backdrop for her latest venture, Hammond’s Ferry Fitness. “I think people, especially at Hammond’s Ferry, love the beautiful atmosphere, the fresh air and the sunshine,” she said. “It just lifts your spirits, gives you a boost of vitamin D and makes you feel good.” Horseman offers a one-hour bootcamp class in an open space in the North Augusta neighborhood, right around the corner from Manuel’s Bread Cafe, on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:45 p.m. On the first and third Saturdays of each month, she offers a class at 9 a.m. at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre in Augusta. The first 45 minutes of each class will focus on stations that will change with each class. One station may involve swinging heavy ropes while another may involve swinging weighted kettle bells. Agility work with ladders, sprints, pushups, stationary lunges, 360 drills and squats with overhead presses may also be on the menu for each class, and then last 15 minutes will involve core work. “Every time you come it’ll be different because, if you don’t change it up, you don’t see change,” Horseman explained. “The only thing you have to bring is a mat and yourself.” The former runner has been teaching bootcamp classes since the days when she was aerobic coordinator at Health Central. As the years have gone by, however, she said the bootcamp method has evolved. “The trend now, instead of isolation, instead of working just your biceps, for instance, is to use large and small muscle groups together, along with your core, to get a better metabolic burn,” Horseman explained. “And then on top of that, we add high-intensity Tabata training, which is a Japanese regimen of 20 seconds of intense anaerobic work with 10 seconds off. We do eight cycles of that in four minutes, so you get much more bang for your buck.”

28 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Anaerobic workouts push people to the limit for a short period of time. It doesn’t burn many calories while you’re working out, she said, but continues to burn calories long after the workout has ended. “You’re giving it all you’ve got, but it’s only for four minutes,” Horseman said of the workout. “And it’s the afterburn that people are raving about. You burn 90-120 calories during the workout, but you burn something like 350 calories afterwards.” And though it may sound intimidating, Horseman said the benefits of the different stations and small class size (15-20 people) is that it can be customized for each person. “Different modifications would be given depending on the person’s needs and level of fitness,” she explained. “I would like for it to be a class than anybody feels comfortable coming to.” The bootcamp classes are going on now and, in the spring, Horseman said she’ll begin teaching a barre class on the rooftop above Edge Salon in Hammond’s Ferry. The ballet-inspired workout is one that women are especially drawn to. “The barre thing I’m really excited about because it’s really geared toward women’s trouble spots that they always want to pay attention to,” she said, explaining that the emphasis of the class is on the core and the glutes. “And it lengthens muscles instead of shortening them. You do not have to be a dancer to take the class; it’s geared toward anyone.” Bootcamp classes with Hammond’s Ferry Fitness are $80 for six weeks or $12 per session. Participants should call and reserve a spot beforehand. For more information, call Lynn Horseman at 706-267-2171 or email lynnhorse@hotmail.com.

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Are you so frustrated with your computer you’ve considered tossing it out the window? Is it so slow you can barely use it? Are you having trouble getting to your favorite web page... or facebood? Are you even tempted to teake it to one of those Big Box Stores for service? Think again! Do you really want the place that sells you envelopes or flat screen TVs working on your computer? Bring it to ComputerOne today... and our real computer guys will make it all better at a price you can afford. We’re the opposite of a Big Box Store. We’re the little store in Fairway Square and although we have our own of computer experts, we dont really call them geeks (at least to their faces). They’re just competent, skilled computer technicians with the know-how to clean up your computer at a reasonable price and get you back on the internet fast. And although we’re not keeping score, given the fact we’re celebrating our 25th anniversary this year, it is very likely we’ve sold and repaired more computers than any other company in Augusta... and we have thousands of satisfied customers to prove it.

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30 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

NOTABIGBOX.COM

Professional Virus & Spyware Removal Services $69.95 Call us today at 706.667.9009

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FEATURED

January 17 17Thursday, Live Music

French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Smooth Jazz Joe’s Underground - Ruskin MAD Studios - Marquice Lashaud Williams, Open Mic Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Live and Local Rose Hill Estate - Preston Weston & Sandra Sky City - Pujol, Diarrhea Planet Somewhere In Augusta - County Line The Willcox - Four Cats in a Doghouse Wild Wing - Storm Branch Band

The little unsigned band that could, Outshyne visits the Country Club this Saturday, January 19, with doors open at 8 p.m. and music starting at 10 p.m. Hope they play their new single, “Dirt Road Romance.” $3, girls; $5, guys after 8:30 p.m. Call 706-364-1862 or visit augustacountry.com.

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Karaoke Cocktails Lounge - Karaoke Coyote’s - DJ Richie Rich & Chad Mac Music Video Mixx Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Fox’s Lair - Trivia, Soup and Suds Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Highlander - Butt Naked Trivia The Loft - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) - Karaoke The Playground - Open Mic with Brandy Shannon’s - Karaoke Somewhere In Augusta - American Cancer Society Kickoff Event Villa Europa - Karaoke Wooden Barrel - ’80s Night Karaoke

January 18 18Friday, Live Music

100 Laurens - John Kolbeck Country Club - The Daniel Lee Band Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Doubletree - Classic Jazz The First Round - Some Machine Fox’s Lair - Mike Ritchey & JoJo Walker French Market Grille West - Doc Easton Malibu Jack’s - South Atlantic PI Bar & Grill - Jazz Duo Playoffs Sports Bar & Grill - The Southern Meltdown Band Polo Tavern - Pretty Petty Sky City - Almost Kings, Focus, Necessary Evil Somewhere in Augusta - Mason Jars Stillwater Taproom - The Copper Thieves Wild Wing - Bad Cash

What’s Tonight?

Cocktails Lounge - Grown-Up Fridays with DJ Cork and Bull Pub - Karaoke Eagle’s Nest - Free Salsa Lessons; Latin Dance Party Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Palmetto Tavern - DJ Tim The Playground - DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway - Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe - Karaoke with Steve Chappel Soul Bar - Pop Life 32 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Wooden Barrel - Karaoke Contest

January 19 19Saturday, Live Music

100 Laurens - Brent Lundy The Acoustic Coffeehouse - Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Country Club - Outshyne Coyote’s - Dave Firmin, Rhes Reeves & the Coyote Band Fox’s Lair - R2D1 Joe’s Underground - Shinebox MAD Studios - Chris Hardy and his 4-stringed little friend, Gregory Rooftop Wariner Malibu Jack’s - Tony Williams Metro Coffeehouse & Pub - AcostA P.I. Bar and Grill - Not Gaddy Jazz with Pam Bowman Polo Tavern - Pretty Petty Sky City - Sibling String, Dallas Duff Somewhere in Augusta - James McNair Stillwater Taproom - YARN Wild Wing - Jon Rooks Trio

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Variety Show Cocktails Lounge - Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille - Trivia The Loft - DJ Richie Rich Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) - Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s - Karaoke Robbie’s - Saturday Night Dance Party Soul Bar - DJ Lowterio Wooden Barrel - Kamikaze Karaoke

20

Sunday, January 20 Live Music

5 O’Clock Bistro - The Henrys Cotton Patch - Keith Gregory (brunch) Malibu Jack’s - Playback The Band w/ Tutu Dy’Vine Patridge Inn - Sunday Evening Jazz w/ the Not Gaddy Jazz Trio The Willcox - Jon Vaughn, brunch; Preston & Weston, night Wild Wing - Jason Marcum

What’s Tonight? Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke

Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke, Salsa Dancing Shannon’s - Karaoke with Peggy Gardner

Shannon’s - Open Mic Night

Mi Rancho (Washington Road) - Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Playground - Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Somewhere in Augusta - Comedy Zone w/ Shane McConnaghy and Roger Keiss Surrey Tavern - Trivia with Christian and Mickey Wild Wing - Trivia

What’s Tonight?

Upcoming

January 21 21Monday, Live Music

Applebee’s (Evans) - Trivia Club Argos - Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Trivia with Mike Thomas Somewhere in Augusta - Poker

January 22 22Tuesday, Live Music Fox’s Lair - John Fisher/Irish The Highlander - Open Mic Night The Willcox - Piano jazz

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Dart League Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane Limelight Cafe - Bottom’s Up Karaoke Malibu Jack’s - Karaoke Mellow Mushroom (Downtown and Evans) - Trivia The Playground - Truly Twisted Trivia with Big Troy Polo Tavern - Karaoke Shannon’s - Karaoke with Mike Johnson Somewhere In Augusta - Big Prize Trivia

January 23 23Wednesday, Live Music Joe’s Underground - Sibling String Malibu Jack’s - Marilyn Adcock Sky City - Camper Van Beethoven

What’s Tonight?

Club Argos - Santoni’s Satin Dolls Cocktails Lounge - Augusta’s Got Talent Cotton Patch - Trivia and Tunes Hotel Aiken - Karaoke w/ Tom Mitchell Laura’s Backyard Tavern - Karaoke w/ David Doane The Loft - Karaoke Midtown Lounge - Karaoke w/ Charles O’Byrne Mi Rancho (Downtown) - Karaoke

Josh Pierce - Metro Coffeehouse & Pub January 24 John Kolbeck - Somewhere In Augusta January 24 Undone, Send the Signal - Sky City January 24 Tiki Barflys - Wild Wing January 24 Amanda Daughtry - Country Club January 25 Chris Hardy - Fox’s Lair January 25 Mama Says - Polo Tavern January 25 The Hollerers - Somewhere In Augusta January 25 She N She - Sky City January 25 Paleface - Stillwater Taproom January 25 Keith Gregory - 100 Laurens January 26 Morgan Frazier - Country Club January 26 Shameless Dave & The Miracle Whips - Laura’s Backyard Tavern January 26 Rezon 8 - Polo Tavern January 26 Funk You - 5 O’Clock Bistro January 27 Jeff Mangum, Tall Firs - Sacred Heart Cultural Center January 28 Super Bob, Stillview - The First Round February 7 Carey Murdock - Sky City February 7 Dangermuffin - Sky City February 8 Jesup Dolly - Sky City February 9 Lingo - Surrey Tavern - February 9 Ronnie Milsap - Bell Auditorium February 14 Mike Farris & the Roseland Rhythm Revue Imperial Theatre February 15 The Corduroy Road, Have Gun Will Travel Stillwater Taproom February 15 Ponderosa - Sky City February 16 Fishbone - Sky City February 18 The Burning Angels - Stillwater Taproom February 22 That 1 Guy - Sky City February 25 Classical Mystery Tour - Bell Auditorium March 8 Little Tybee CD Release Show w/ Colorfeels - Sky City March 8 Lindsay Lou and the Flat Bellys - Stillwater Taproom March 29

Elsewhere

Dangermuffin, Toubab Krewe - Terminal West, Atlanta January 17 17JANUARY2013


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Wish Fulfilled

Alice in Chains coming to the Bell

I get excited when I hear about bands I love coming to our area: Atlanta, Charlotte, Greensville, all getting amazing headliners. To Augusta’s credit, we do get a fair share of great national bands, but there are not many times that it’s a band that you consider one of your top three bands of all time, at least when it comes to rock music. Just two weeks ago I wrote about my “wishes” for 2013 and one has already been confirmed, a major rock act to come to Augusta. I was ecstatic to see that Alice in Chains will be gracing Augusta with its presence on May 1. As one of the most iconic bands in rock music, Alice in Chains burst on to the music scene when music was looking for a change. With the likes of Soundgarden, Nirvana and Pearl Jam, the ‘90s alternative scene was plastered with their faces. Alice in Chains’ 1990 debut album, “Facelift,” put the band on the map, but it wasn’t until their 1992 quadruple platinum album “Dirt” that they became defined as one of the best in alternative rock. But for the genre known as alternative, there was something different about Alice in Chains. They had an intense sound lead by the guitar of Jerry Cantrell and raspy voice of Layne Staley. A brief history note for you kids out there: MTV used to play music videos. That’s right, music videos. In the early ‘90s Alice in Chains was a staple of the channel. Headbangers Ball, 120 Minutes, every night you could see great bands. For my formative years finding my personal music taste, Alice in Chains was at the pinnacle. With most successful bands of this time, drugs quickly became a problem, and unfortunately it became a huge problem for Layne. By the late ‘90s, Layne’s problems had started to take effect on the band. From cancellations of tours, no progress in making new albums, and inner turmoil, Layne eventually became a recluse. He wouldn’t leave his Seattle home and wouldn’t accept any help. Then the worse news that could come out did, in April of 2002 Layne Staley was pronounced dead of an apparent drug overdose, combination of heroin and cocaine. If the band wasn’t officially broken up before this, they definitely were now. Unfortunately for radio there were bands out trying to be Alice in Chains, bands that make you want to punch yourself in the face like Creed and Day of the New. To most music lovers, we thought that we had seen the last of Alice in Chains. The band, or what was left of the band, Jerry Cantrell, Mike Inez and Sean Kinney, decided to get together and do some shows throughout the late 2000s. After the band had rotated through a handful of lead singers, something fit right with Comes With the Fall lead singer William Duvall. This chemistry lead to the band’s 2009 return album, “Black Gives Way to Blue,” 14 years after their last. “Black Gives Way to Blue” produced three top rock singles, and peaked at No. 5 on the Billboard Top 200. In the back of everyone’s mind, we all know that no one will ever be able to replace Layne Staley as the frontman for Alice in Chains, but let me tell you, William Duvall comes pretty damn close. I saw the band open up for Velvet Revolver in 2009 and Alice stole the show. Now I wonder if one of my other “wishes” for 2013 will come true; will people actually buy tickets and show up? I guess we’ll find out pretty quick. Tickets go on sale, Friday, January 18, at noon, ranging from $39.50 to $49.50. This is the only show for Alice in the southeast, so I advise buying tickets early. Don’t forget that Augusta also has some great live music every week at some amazing bars downtown. From Metro Coffeehouse and First Round to the Loft, I hear about bands playing every week. Email me if you want them mentioned. I’d love to see more local acts. Jesup Dolly did, so plan on seeing these guys on February 9 at Sky City. Do it. Free advertising is good isn’t it? Email me at matt@themetrospirit.

MATTSTONE can be heard weekdays from 2-6 p.m. on 95 Rock. 17JANUARY2013

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THE

EIGHT

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BOX TOPS

Can the top spot here make up for one Golden Globes win and no best director nod from the Academy? Probably not. RANK

TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS

TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

1

ZERO DARK THIRTY

$24,438,936

$29,919,743

4

16

2

A HAUNTED HOUSE

$18,101,682

$18,101,682

1

-

3

GANGSTER SQUAD

$17,070,347

$17,070,347

1

-

4

DJANGO UNCHAINED

$11,040,485

$125,374,607

3

2

5

LES MISERABLES

$9,644,465

$118,723,185

3

4

“Zero Dark Thirty”

SAMEIFLING

It may be a fictionalized account, but this movie is grippingly authentic

The early criticism of “Zero Dark Thirty,” the gut-churning account of the CIA’s hunt for Osama bin Laden, has focused rightly on some of its most memorable and vital scenes: Those early in the film of agents torturing informants. In the movie, the torture works. In real life, not nearly so much. Three senators who reviewed classified information while on the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence sent a letter to Sony Pictures stating that, contrary to the film, none of the tips the CIA received that led to learning the name of bin Laden’s courier, Ibrahim Saeed Ahmed (aka Abu Ahmed al-Kuwaiti), did not come through “coercive interrogation techniques.” Because the film does show torture as a pragmatic if awful implement of those interrogations, people have tried to ask the filmmakers — director Kathryn Bigelow and screenwriter Mark Boal, collaborators previously on “The Hurt Locker” — why the hell they’d depict torture as being more productive than it was. When “Zero Dark Thirty” premiered in Washington, D.C., Bigelow and Boal slunk out early, behind a retaining wall of bodyguards, rather than answer reporters’ questions. The implications of tacitly praising torture are profound. Exactly what the United States is willing to do to human beings in order to meet military objectives is a serious question, and the impact of “Zero Dark Thirty,” which is up for Best Picture among its five Oscar nods, stands to cast a long shadow over that popular discussion. It doesn’t help that the CIA has acknowledged destroying tapes of interrogations and that America generally is happy to be kept in the dark on such matters. As a Human Rights Watch counterterrorism advisor recently wrote in Foreign Policy: “We would not even be having this debate, and this film probably would not have even been made in the way it was, had the U.S. government not gone to such great lengths over the past 11 years to cover up the tracks of its crimes and bury the facts.” What the movie gets right, at least for all appearances, is depict torture as a nasty, brutish, dehumanizing slog for both the detainees and for the interrogators. And 34 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

once “Zero Dark Thirty” gets moving, it’s just an overall ripping docudrama. Jessica Chastain has an Oscar nod for her turn as Maya, a CIA agent in Pakistan who for almost 10 years doggedly chases leads in pursuit of bin Laden, even as his influence wanes and he becomes a relative afterthought among the other intelligence brass. Jason Clarke plays a waterboarding field agent who moves up the ranks; Jennifer Ehle is another in-country CIA pal of Maya’s. Among the few characters with publicly known names are Kyle Chandler as Joseph Bradley and James Gandolfini as Leon Panetta. Mostly, this is a tribute to nameless spooks. Spoiler alert: That courier of bin Laden’s, once found, inadvertently led the CIA to the gates of the infamous compound that Navy SEALS stormed on May 2, 2011. The final series of events as they appear in the film are positively gripping; the siege of the compound, complete with the shooting of both bin Laden and digital photos of his corpse, is meticulously rendered, playing in real-time like the world’s most infamous episode of “Cops.” But then, the entire movie plays as an extended infomercial on why you don’t want to mess with America. The power of “Zero Dark Thirty,” despite its often-dense dialogue and its tripodless nausea-cam cinematography, is that it yanks the audience through a chapter of recent history that we cannot help but find fascinating. The stakes are high, and we know them intimately. Anyone who sees “Zero Dark Thirty” will recall its depictions of events when trying to imagine what that compound raid was like, or what life in Pakistan for American operatives is like, or what life for suspected terrorists is like in the secret CIA prisons that were set up around the world after 9/11. The risk for history is that this film, for all its authenticity, leads us to believe it’s showing events as they truly were. It may be close, but “Zero Dark Thirty” is still just a movie, a work of unsettling fiction that shouldn’t make us any more comfortable with the choices that were made in our names. 17JANUARY2013


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HORROR

“Mama,” rated PG-13, starring Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Isabelle Nelisse. Two little girls are found in the forest, having been left there for five years. Re-entry into society for these feral children is made more difficult by the fact that they’ve brought someone, or something, with them to their aunt and uncle’s house. Guillermo del Toro of “Hellboy” and “Pan’s Labyrinth” fame didn’t actually direct this one, as the TV ads may lead you to believe, but it looks as sick and twisted as if he actually did. So it has that going for it.

ACTION

“The Last Stand,” rated R, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Forest Whitaker, Johnny Knoxville, Harry Dean Stanton, Luis Guzman. A small-town sheriff (Schwarzenegger, of course) enlists the aid of a town misfit (Knoxville, of course) to stop the leader of a drug cartel as he attempts to flee to Mexico. The big baddie has already evaded quite a few LEOs, and Schwarzenegger (of course) is the only one left standing in his way. He’s apparently the one standing in the way of us seeing a good movie as well.

DRAMA

“Broken City,” rated R, starring Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kyle Chandler. Russell Crowe plays a corrupt mayor. Mark Wahlberg plays a man unjustly framed for… something. As long as they don’t sing (the former) or rap (the latter), we’ll give this one a shot, though we’ve always been skeptical of Wahlberg when he plays the only righteous character in a tale filled with injustice. Nope. Not buying it.

WERECOMMEND “Beasts of the Southern Wild”

This is, admittedly, a polarizing movie. Many call it the best movie they’ve seen in a very long while. Others say it looks like it was made by a child with a handheld camera and 10 bucks in his pocket. It happens to be both, not literally, of course, and that’s one of the reasons why we love it. Six-year-old Hushpuppy and her father Wink live in the Bathtub, a bayou area of southern Louisiana where everyone gets around on boats, even if that boat is the back of an old pickup truck fitted with an outboard motor. A storm comes (assumed to be Katrina, though it is never named), Wink gets sick, prehistoric monsters called aurochs begin to roam the land, sent there by the melting polar ice caps. What’s real and what’s not? Since we’re relying on a small child, who knows. But this is a rare movie that works in bringing the realistic and fantastic together in a way that won’t make viewers roll their eyes or question the logic. It’s realistic, and all the more impressive, because Quvenzhane Wallis (now 9 and nominated for a Best Actress Oscar — the youngest ever), Dwight Henry who plays Wink and writer-director Benh Zeitlin (nominated for both writing and directing) are all first timers. Wallis and Henry live in Louisiana, so there are no quibbles about their accents (in fact, “True Blood’s Anna Paquin should look for help with her accent here). Their newbie statuses lend credibility to the reality of everyday life. But everyday life in the bayou often has an apocalyptic feel, which is why Hushpuppy’s aurochs don’t seem all that far-fetched. Many viewers have a problem with the shaky-cam aspect of the movie, as well as the fact that Hushpuppy acts far too old for her age. The second is forgivable because that’s what often happens (we imagine) to a motherless only child with a drunk for a father who lives on the edge of the world. The first? Well, that just reinforces the dreamy quality of “Beasts of the Southern Wild,” which is why we fell in love with it in the first place. See this one and try not to be amazed. We dare you. 17JANUARY2013

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Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Baseball player Lou Brissie with Connor and Major General (Ret.) Perry Smith at the Jimmie Dyess Symposium at the Augusta Museum of History.

SIGHTINGS

Medal of Honor recipient Captain Thomas Kelley with Beth and Brigadier General (Ret.) Jeff Foley at the Jimmie Dyess Symposium at the Augusta Museum of History.

Carl Sanders III, Carl Sanders Jr. and Keaton Sanders at the Jimmie Dyess Symposium at the Augusta Museum of History.

SIGHTINGS

Ashley Klaus, Tori Monger and Nicki Meyer at Coyotes.

Allison Jacobs, comedian Tim Wilson and Ashley Willis at the Comedy Zone at Somewhere in Augusta.

SIGHTINGS

Brittany Ward, Autumn Abear, Tiffany Pittman and Jessica Prye at Coyotes.

36 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

Lindsey Mintz, Mary Brannigan, Morgan Little and Katie O’Rourke at Wild Wing.

Kayla Williamson, Ronni Lynn Williamson and Danielle Frank at the Country Club.

Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Chase Stringfield, Casey Leech, Emily Rivers and Michael Chase at Nacho Mama’s.

17JANUARY2013


S P O N S O R

T H E

METRO SPIRIT’S amber@themetrospirit.com PET PAGE! Making a Difference Begins at Home By Erin Peacher I’m sure you have heard Bob Barker say at least once in your life, “Spay and neuter your pets!” I have been a huge animal lover my entire life. Having had dogs, rabbits, birds, hamsters, fish and one cat throughout my years, it’s not until now, after being involved with animal rescue, that I fully understand what Bob Barker’s message is all about. Obviously he advocated spay and neuter to help control the pet population, but it really is deeper than that. It’s also about the well being of these little souls who depend on us to take care of them. The reality of it all is this: There are so many unwanted and homeless animals out there due to many different circumstances, but mainly due to overpopulation. Many of these animals end up living a life never knowing love and kindness. Many of them are neglected and abused and eventually sentenced to death for the mere fact that they exist. It’s heartbreaking at the very least. No one likes watching those awful animal abuse commercials, so we simply change the channel, but changing the channel does not make it all go away and, even worse, those commercials are not an exaggeration. They are real-life situations created by the lack of responsibility by people. Just like children, our four-legged children do not have a choice of what situation they’re put in. They are 100 percent dependent on us to take care of them. Realistically speaking, I understand you can’t save the world. However you can help make a huge difference by starting at home. The best way to help this cause is by spaying and neutering your pets. It not only cuts down on unwanted litters and spares these little guys a life of misery, it also helps to prevent potential health problems. Unfortunately I’m speaking from experience. I am guilty of not spaying my little dog Pinky and because of that I almost lost her. I rescued her as a stray in 2003. The vet guessed Pinky was around two years old and since she was not in the situation of getting pregnant, I did not want to take the chance of what I ignorantly thought might alter her loving personality. Fast forward five years and she developed Pyometra, a uterine infection most commonly known as a disease of the unaltered female dog. Had I waited 24 hours to take her to the doctor, she would have died. Pinky had an emergency hysterectomy and contrary to what I thought might change her personality, she was still my same loving, sweet little girl. The only difference was she eventually gained a little weight, as all us girls do at some point! Needless to say, it was an extremely emotional and costly lesson learned. The moral to the story is this: Don’t ever think you can’t or don’t make a difference. Making a difference begins at home. Save lives and better lives by spaying and Upcoming Events neutering your pets. If you don’t think you can afford the cost, there are several low-cost spay and neuter clinics in the Third Annual Dog Gone Cold 5k Run/Walk CSRA. Contact a vet’s office and they will Julian Smith BBQ Pit gladly provide you with information or Saturday, January 19, 2013 simply search online for clinics in your Sponsored by Hopeful Hounds, Inc. and The area. It is a simple solution to a huge American Black and Tan Coonhound Rescue, problem in our community. organizers are currently looking for sponsors as well as participants for this fun fundraiser. Ongoing Adoption Events Pre-registration required. PETCO 706-294-6200 hopefulhounds.org 4209 Washington Road, Evans Saturdays, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Sundays, 1-4 p.m. PetSmart 225 Robert C. Daniel Parkway, Augusta Saturdays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Presents for Pets drive, collecting cat, dog, puppy and kitten food, as well as treats, leashes, toys, beds, crates and more, is going on now through That’s What Friends Are For. Items collected will be distributed among local rescue organizations. Call 706-736-3691 or visit thatswhatfriendsarefor.org.


LINE

What the ignorant whiner proposing a ban on “assault weapon” ammunition does not seem to realize is that a vast number of the guns that would remain for civilian use after he got his way would also be unusable, as rifle cartridges such as the .308, .30-06, and the .223, which were and are used by the military, are also some of the most popular sporting and self-defense rifle cartridges for civilian use. And to say that banning ammunition does not infringe on the right to bear arms is akin to saying that the right to a free press is not hindered by the banning and confiscation of newsprint and ink. I really hate the assumption that this whiner seems to hold: that the “police, federal agents, US military,”--i.e., the government--are superior and more trustworthy than we in the “general public” are. People in government have just as much potential for good or for evil as everybody else, and yet because they work for the government, they are supposed to be nobler, purer, more responsible than us. They are not superior; they are just like you and me. Quit idolizing the government. No one. And I mean NO ONE associated with the Imperial Theatre during the time Lara Plocha was fired doubted her guilt. So she starts a merchants association right on the same street. And opens a store right on the same street. How was this lady so brazen and Augusta’s leadership so wimpy? Thanks for finally setting the record straight. At first, Pete Rose vehemently denied he bet on baseball; then he said he did. At first, Lance Armstrong vehemently denied he cheated while cycling. And now, “anonymous sources” claim he will admit to some form of cheating in an upcoming Oprah interview. Math question: If you take the credibility of Pete Rose and Lance Armstrong and add them, how much credibility do you get? Correct - ZERO! re: the new sheriff in town. you said it correctly. hes in charge, its his call. your article seems like you dont much like the guy. I understand mr rhodes and the sheriff dont much like each other. while in the military, we were not allowed to talk to the press. lots of reasons: saying something that reflected badly on the military; saying something that was incorrect; giving out classified info; or being ill prepared to talk to the press. the only problem that could arise is that the sheriff goes into a news black out. but because hes under such scrutiny, i doubt that will happen. good luck to all.

38 METROSPIRITAUGUSTA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1989

WHINELINE@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Have something you want to get off your chest? Send your whines to whineline@themetrospirit. com. If you do so by noon on Friday, you might just see it in the next Thursday’s issue. Oh, and whines may be edited for content but will pretty much be printed exactly as you type them.

HEY, MR DEEEETROIT...your limited intellect requires that you call anyone who disagrees with you a “redneck”,is that the best you can do?REALLY...we are not friends as I am particular about the type of people I associate with...please please do yourself(and us) a favor and take your unhappy whining mouth back to anywhere north and STAY THERE.No one has to go past the Mason Dixon line to recognize what BS smells like...YOU and your liar “friend” OBAMA.Oh....peace. I hear Austin Rhodes already has it in for the new sheriff, Roundtree. He has vowed to do to Roundtree what he thinks he did or rather took credit for doing to Charles Walker. I’ll wager that Rhodes will go before Roundtree. Any takers? You know, the quality of the whine line has deteriorated over the last few issues. What happened, complaining public? I remember you in your youth, brim with piss and vinegar, fury-spurned typos, special words in all-caps. Would it possible to temporarily ban all sub-par thought? Can we get something awesome? So nice to have Austin giving us insight as to what is going on in our little burg. Won’t find it in print or the news tubbies. this country is going downhill because of selfishness & greed. people do not help people while they are financially okay until they are not financially okay - then they want to be friendly & neighborly. You need to offer help right now before you become the person needing help. nothing is financially secure when your money is coming from another monetary source during these uncertain recessive times. might be your turn next - to beg for help. Hey Ruffin, do you know why Americans are buying firearms at record numbers especially assault rifles? It is defend themselves once government checks stop and the People will have to defend themselves from the rioting Obama voters (i.e. they will be hunting those voters.) As a woman, I know I’m no physical match for most attackers; with my revolver, I am. Tell you what: When Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer hand in their carry permits and dismiss their security details, I’ll hand it over. to all the Obama voters that are shocked and mad about the tax increase. WE TOLD YOU SO!!!!! idiots. Does anybody actually know what the sign, attached to the lady who stands at the Mullins Crossing, says? I feel like you’re defeating the purpose of conveying what I’m sure is an intriguing message, when you have tiny handwriting. Or maybe I just have bad eyesight? Either way someone needs to inform her that none of us know we’re going to hell because her signs

aren’t legible. Is it bad that I’m assuming? I have a feeling I’m not making an ass out of anyone with that assumption though. I understand the fact that many people want guns taken away after the last several years where in our schools, malls, and movie theaters, almost 1000 people have been shot to death. However, when the people calling for the removal of them to save lives are the same people who want to continue the legalization of abortion that kills 3500 babies every day, you have to understand the side of gun owners who look at the incredible hypocrisy of this! so I just saw on the news that none other than Brad Owens, Augusta’s favorite itinerate gadfly, is potching an idea to The Augusta commission to run city busses out to Fort Gordon. So now Bradfly is an expert on public transit? Commissioners might want to do a little research on Mr. Owens before they take the bait on one of his business ventures. i voted for big ears obama so i can get everything for for free . phone car food money insurance. we love you big ears. snap. Well,has anyone been keeping up with the actions of the Columbia County Board of Elections. You’d be surprised!

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V24|NO03

Hillary Clinton’s husband gets a bigger reaction than any star at the Golden Globes.

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“Palin Aide Knocks Golden Globes.” That headline wasn’t predictable at all.

17JANUARY2013



Metro Spirit 01.17.2013