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line. You will take eight steps, turn around, and return with seven steps. Understand?” Again, I passed the test with relative ease. In all fifteen steps, I only flubbed one, because of nerves more than anything else. The next test was also easily done, but passing all three tests was apparently not enough for the badgehuffing power-crazed law beast to not want to give me the breathalayzer—that horrid device with a suitably horrid portmanteau of a name. Wanting to know why he was going to give me the test, I asked how I’d failed, but wasn’t given a real answer. He motioned to the other cop, and the other cop fetched a small case from their car. I could picture these two goons cackling about our encounter afterward… while getting strange kicks off the fumes from their recentlyused badges. We sure fucked that guy… up, over, and in the ass! Haw haw… quit hogging that badge man, it’s my turn. As the top of the vehicle flashed, it drenched the sidewalk in strobing red and blue. It was the world’s shittiest rave. The two toyed open the case and eventually produced a handheld device. They unwrapped a small envelope containing a fresh mouthpiece and attached it to the machine. 77

The Metric Issue 08 - Literary Magazine  
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