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used in this case as both an intensifier and a verb), and I’d had it with still being technically a virgin. So I decided to hire an escort. You may, as I have many times subsequently, ask why? Why would somebody decide to become part of an industry—and an industry it very is—where women are judged with monstrous callosity and are treated like a meat slab you pay to ‘tenderize’? Why would someone spend hundreds upon hard-earned hundreds in exchange for an hour of palpable awkwardness and awkward palpability, all culminating in the soulless expulsion of climactic material? Why would someone willingly submerge themselves into the pool of cess where sadness grows like algae? The simple answer is: because it’s easier. By treating sex as a commodity, you avoid all of the complications attached with courting women. There is no need for fancy dinners; no need for forced romantic gestures, countless hours of straining to impress, weeks or months of waiting for her to “be ready,” and other such bureaucratic requisites before The Act. More importantly, it’s faster. My birthday was approaching and thus my status as a “youth” was about to expire like the condom packet in my wallet—bought when I was younger and more hopeful— 46

The Metric Issue 08 - Literary Magazine  
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