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CAMPUS LIFE I am sure that everyone has heard the phrase, “University was the best time of my life.” While I love being in University, there are days so filled with stress that I don’t even feel like I will make it through. I decided to keep an hourly log of one of my busier days this semester to show that the life of a student is more than just fun and games.

MONDAY OCTOBER 21, 2013 Hour one: Made it to class on time. Realized that I forgot to eat breakfast. Tims smelled really good. Forgot my phone. Took a long time to figure out the date. Feeling famished. Hour two: Just met with my prof. He said I’m on the right track and my ideas are really good. He had nothing bad to say. Nice! Now I’m just waiting to see my advisor. Could be here a while. Good thing I have my book. Still haven’t eaten. Feeling more famished. Hour three: Studying in the library. Had to leave the advisor’s because it was taking too long. Finally heated up my food and ate. Still hungry but things are starting to look up. Saw Clark in the hallway. It was good to see a familiar face… He didn’t notice me. Hour four: There are now five other people at my table. Feeling a bit overwhelmed. I realized how much I have to do this week and now I’m scared. Stopped Vanessa’s apple from falling to the ground. Good deed for the day: Check. She rewarded me with a raspberry. I’ve used up all my supplies so I’m no longer hungry and I don’t know how much longer it will last. I’m tired. Keep wanting to text people, but I can’t. Feeling sad. Hour five: Two chapters down, one to go. For one class, anyway. Starting to get hungry. A bit worried about how hungry I always am. Only three of us left at the table. I hope I have the strength to hold out longer. Things got a bit intense when I thought all the plug-ins were occupied. False alarm. I got the last one. Really missing my cell phone. Also worried about my dependence on technology. Hour six: Done making notes for my midterm tomorrow. Now I just have to learn them. It’s down to two of us now. My friends are dropping like flies. However, I do need to go back to refuel and do my chores. Then I’ll be right back here. I’m still tired. Hour seven: Refueled and ready to go. Took the garbage out and did laundry. Becca is going to do my chore because she’s an awesome roommate. Sweet! Just read up on the election candidates and am about to go vote! Things are looking way up. Hour eight: Went to vote. Got lost on the way there. Forgot proof of my Lethbridge address. Went back home to get it. Voted for real. Getting more tired. Hour nine: Picked up Karly and am back at school. Got coffee to help me power through. All the lights outside the school are off. Not feeling safe. Hour ten: Still haven’t started studying. Want to go climb a mountain in Fernie this weekend. Thinking of friends to invite and realized we don’t have many.1 Feeling sad, but not as tired! Thanks coffee! Hour eleven: My coffee didn’t last long. I’m tired again. A little hungry too. I walked through the library without shoes on. No one seemed to notice. I emailed my prof about a question on the test tomorrow and he gave me the whole answer. Woohoo! Our study-room neighbors are loud. Feeling a bit distracted. Hour twelve: Realizing that I’ve been at school for 10 out of 12 hours and only had one class for fifty minutes. Got more done when I didn’t have my phone. Should forget it more often. All the coffee stores are closed. So tired. Fading fast. I want to go home and watch Breaking Bad, but I can’t. Hour thirteen: Still here at school. The library is closed. Good thing we are in the 24-hour study lounge. Starting to feel exhausted. Wish I was in bed. I think I’m reading the never-ending book. On the bright side, the lights are back on so I feel safer outside. Hour fourteen: I feel like a zombie. My life is like the Walking Dead. Except that I don’t want to eat people. Just food. I don’t even know if this is real life anymore. Help. Also, everything is really funny, but sad. Sad laughing is the worst laughing. Hour fifteen: Finally home. Got ready for bed and remembered that I had to move my laundry to the dryer so it wouldn’t get mouldy. Had to wait for Chloe to take her clothes out of the dryer. Talked to her boyfriend on the phone while she did that. He seemed quite happy to talk to me. Still a bit confused as to why I don’t have a boyfriend.2 Still tired. Alarm is set for seven. Gross. Almost hit a car on the way home, but I didn’t. Yay.

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We actually do have friends. Just none that want to go to Fernie for the weekend. As hard as it is to believe, I actually am single... Anyone interested?

Lessons to be learned



Always remember to eat breakfast. It can make or break your day.


If you can, meet with your professors to talk about assignments. They love the effort and it will almost always result in better grades.


Go see advisors. They know what they are talking about. However, make sure you have at least an hour to spare or go right when it opens to ensure you get right in.


It’s okay if your friends don’t always recognize you. They probably have a lot of things on their mind and just aren’t paying attention.


Housework is important too. A clean house is a stress free house.


Voting is a right. Exercise it!


Study buddies can be very beneficial and encouraging. Plus, they help keep you sane. Just make sure you are both actually going to study.


Ask if you have questions. Even if it is last minute; better late than never. Profs have all been in our shoes and will most likely understand you can’t have everything done early.


Study rooms are not sound proof. Be respectful of others around you.


If you feel like crying, laugh instead. You can trick yourself.


Stay alert while driving. Always.


Coffee is a saviour.

And most important: Always bring enough food to last the day. It saves money and time.

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Every year at this time, the internet explodes with pictures of Halloween costumes; the majority of them are either hilarious or provocative. The University campus is no different. I remember going to the Halloween Cabaret two years ago dressed as a lumberjack (because 75 per cent of my closet consists of either flannel or wool), and there were two main categories of people dressed up: sexy or funny. I don’t see the problem with either of them; both sexy and funny have their place in Halloween, especially at a University. Looking around the Zoo, you could see some looks of judgement coming from the more hilarious costume group directed towards those who were wearing a little less clothing than what is “socially acceptable.” The thing that upset me was this notion that dressing provocatively on Halloween is a bad thing, that it makes you a slut, and that you are asking for sexual attention because of how you are dressed. This is called “slut-shaming” and is in no way acceptable. So what if you want to dress sexy? Anyone, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, height, or weight, is allowed to feel sexy and safe. When you slut-shame, you take that right away. Now I bring up the idea of safety: if I decide that I want to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid for Halloween, and I go to the bar in a purple bra and a short green skirt, that is not me giving you permission to touch me. Saying, “You can touch me,” is me giving you permission to touch me. Even if I’m dressed provocatively, I might still have a boyfriend or a girlfriend – or, how about this crazy idea: I might just not want to have sex with you. Maybe I just want to look and feel sexy for me. HERE ARE SOME TIPS AND TRICKS TO HAVE A SAFER HALLOWEEN 1.) Look, don’t touch. Or if you want to touch, ask first. 2.) No means no. If they say no, walk away. They are not interested. 3.) When they are too drunk to know who they are or who they came

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with, don’t do it. I would suggest helping them find their friend. 4.) Don’t leave passed-out people in a cab alone. I have heard too many horror stories about people getting taken advantage of alone in a cab. Make sure they get home safe. 5.) Bring your cell phone and make sure it’s charged. Your costume will probably look awesome, so you will want to take photos, and you’ll be able to find your friends faster if you can text them where you are. I feel awful for having to say to protect yourself, because in a perfect world we should not have to worry about protecting ourselves, or keeping an eye on our drinks, or on the people we came with. But until we reach that perfect world, do be careful about who you are going home with. Make sure both parties want to engage in the horizontal monster mash before getting down and dirty, and make sure to have fun. November 1 is the best day for a stride of pride (not a walk of shame, which suggests that you did something you are ashamed when you should never feel that way). It’s a morning where you get to walk home as a spider or a pirate and no one will bat an eye. Own your super sexy princess costume! You look fierce. If you’re feeling self-conscious, just pretend you're on America’s Next Top Model and “smize” and strut your entire way home. Halloween is the one day a year where we are allowed to dress however we want to dress, and not have to be judged, because it’s a costume… unless there’s a costume contest, in which case you will be judged, and I hope you win. This advice isn’t just for the ladies. I know that slut-shaming is typically aimed at females, but it should be recognized across the board, no matter how you identify your gender. The bottom line is to have fun on Halloween. Dress however you want to dress. For all I care, go naked. Just be comfortable in your own skin and don’t let others judge you for how you want to dress, because it’s not their body.




I didn't vote, but not for the reasons that the media and everyone else seems to think. I didn't withhold my vote as a calculated decision based on a lack of information, nor did my lack of participation stem from a youthful sense of detachment or apathy, but far from it. I'd read the literature, attended the forums, and had my votes strategically planned. I knew who I wanted to elect, and walked into my voting station with the confident swagger of a man prepared to do his civic duty. Upon entry, I noticed a whiteboard full of qualifying stipulations. Apparently one needs to jump through plenty of hoops before one can vote. I began running through the list in my head. Am I eighteen or older? Yes. Canadian citizen? Also yes. Resident of Alberta for at least six months? Try my whole life. A resident of Lethbridge on election day? But of course! And then: a problem. I needed to prove my place of residence, using one of the approved methods of address identification. I scanned over my options, and quickly realized that I had none of them. My driver’s license has an old out-of-town address, and my bills come electronically. I filled out my university paperwork while living at home for the summer, and a student ID doesn't have an address on it. The house I'm currently living in didn't require my name on a lease, and the utilities are in someone else's name. All of these situations culminated with the volunteers at the voting station giving me a sad, "We've done all we can do" look as they moved on to register the next person in line. I'm now feeling not only misrepresented by the blustering middle-aged, white businessmen who would inevitably be elected, but also flatly oppressed by an apparently democratic system that just mangled one of my most basic rights of citizenship. This sense of injustice sparked my curiosity, and I wanted to find out how many others had the same problem. A few phone calls informed and convinced me. Whether planned or borne out of sheer ignorance, the City of Lethbridge's identification policy effectively removed a major part of the student population from voting contention. If borne of ignorance, the policy is a gross oversight that directly affected the results of the election. In a city where individuals aged 20-24 make up close to eight per cent of the total population, overlooking any potential inhibitors of the democratic process would be inexcusable. It would belay short-sightedness, a lack of perception, and incompetence. On the other hand, perhaps it isn’t short-sightedness. After all, Lethbridge is a city that incessantly laments its low voter turnout. It seems unlikely that city officials would have overlooked a factor that has such major implications. Also unlikely is that city officials removed the promised polling

stations from campuses to increase student voter turnout. More likely, both moves were conscious and calculated. The issue then becomes, “Why?” It comes off as a scheme devised by those with a petty love of power and re-election, as they attempt to control the vote of an unpredictable demographic. But that sounds like anarchist propaganda. The distilled idea, however, has merit. By reducing the amount of influence carried by the student vote, it increases the amount of power carried by the middle-aged and elderly population. In turn, these demographics, who traditionally vote more conservatively, will elect the same middle-aged, white businessmen time and time again; these middle-aged, white businessmen know this. In fact, they know it so well that hardly anyone else ever gets elected. Lethbridge has never had a female mayor, and the representation of women on council has been minimal. The same is true of First Nations and other ethnic minorities. Another demographic feature that plays into this is the fact that one must be a Canadian citizen to be eligible to vote. This is regardless of time spent living in the city. It means that if you immigrated and do not have the time, means, or capacity to become an official citizen, you have no democratic rights on the federal, provincial, or municipal scale. Coupling this with the initial issue of lacking an accepted identification of residence is creating segregation, and the leaders of our city are fostering it. Following my rejection, I went to exit the polling station. As I did, I noticed a physically-disabled woman who was resting on her walker in the corner. She had come to the wrong building, and would have to make her way back across town if she wanted to vote in her jurisdiction. I offered her a ride, which she readily accepted. We talked on the drive over, the conversation largely consisting of her impressing me with her desire to have what influence she could in her city. She knew which candidates would represent her, her values, and the disabled community, and continually mentioned how excited she was to be able to vote. This passionate exercise of democratic rights reaffirmed what the rest of the evening had been teaching me. As individuals, it is our right and privilege to be a part of the way our city develops. Whether socially, economically, or politically, any attempt to remove that right must be rejected and firmly opposed. It is so very convenient to be apathetic, and all too easy to quietly dismiss being politely passed by on election day, but if we have any desire to maintain a culture where minorities and other less privileged groups have a voice, we need to stand up. We need to be angry that we’ve come to this point of the issue. We need to discuss what it is that we’d rather have, and then we need to get out and make a change.

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While a name like “Take Back the Night” tells of the strength of a group of people who fight for their inalienable human rights, it also reflects the sad circumstance that, across the world and even in Lethbridge’s own community, half the population walks the night in fear. “It’s unsafe for us to walk the streets,” says Vanessa Staenz, a founding mother of the Kappa Pi Chi sorority. “I’ve had friends who’ve been sexually assaulted before, who’ve been victimized, who’ve been asked if it was their fault.” Being a women and gender studies major, Staenz has had a unique attachment to feminism her whole life. “In a sense, I’ve identified as a feminist my whole life. I’ve always wanted to fight for human rights.” Take Back the Night started in Europe in the 1970s before coming to Lethbridge in 2008. Since then, the local growth of the event has impressed many of the organizers. “We’re really happy with the turnout this year,” says this year’s host, Kristina Larkin. “Over 100 people were here today. It shows a really good community of people who are concerned about this.” “This is a fantastic event. It has a very strong history, and it’s produced very many positive changes over the years,” says Danika Jorgensen, co-coordinator of the Women’s Centre, who is not alone in her praise of this event that brings together members of the community. Direct focus on this issue has been a main target of women’s support groups. “Women’s centres were originally started because academia was an intensely male space, and women’s needs were not being met in that space,” says Jorgensen. “Violence against women is a rampant problem on pretty much all university and college campuses rarely addressed, rarely reported, rarely dealt with, rarely shared even by the experiencers of that process.” Stories are what inspire activities by the community to help end what Jorgensen identifies as rape culture, where women are seen as objects of abuse. “39 per cent of Canadian women experience sex violence before they’re 16,” says Larkin. “But that’s not really what reaches people. It’s the stories, and we’re lucky in Lethbridge that we have people who are so generous to share their

stories.” “Although women are within the majority of people who experience sex violence,” says Larkin, “it’s not about only women, it’s about men who are perpetrators, it’s about children who are victimized because their parents are in an abusive relationship. Sexual violence affects everybody.” “We usually try and invite people to come with us,” says Jorgensen. “When they do, it opens up a lot of avenues of communication, and it encourages a feeling of community and solidarity and warmth.” Jorgensen’s approach seems to have a positive effect on supporters of their cause. “One of the great things that we get to do is talk to a lot of our allies and those individuals who march alongside us.” Larkin is appreciative of those who help in the creation of these events, even if they are not directly affected themselves. Jorgensen agrees: “It takes everybody to end things like rape culture and violence against women. . . . We need to create a sense of community in order to tackle those big issues like systemic oppression of violence against women.” Jorgensen and others hope to continue to expand events like Take Back the Night with students and other members of the community. Often, individuals find it difficult to get in touch with issues that matter to them. While feminism is, for many, an intimidating concept, for Staenz “it’s finding equality not just amongst gender, but amongst everyone. It’s more than equality; it’s finding that common ground.” Staenz is proud to be involved with Take Back the Night, and to call herself a feminist. “I’m not afraid whatsoever to say that I’m a feminist. I’m always the first person to pass that on. I think it’s important for people not to be so afraid of feminism.” Hopefully the continued efforts of the Women’s Centre on campus and groups like Womanspace in our city will continue to help spread awareness of the very real issue of women’s rights in Lethbridge. Until then, they will continue fighting to take back the night.

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Buoyed by the recent efforts of Kappa Pi Chi at the Relay for Life, one gains insight into the pressures on a growing sorority on a campus already filled with a strong Greek life. “People think [we’re about] movies and parties. Not to say we don’t have a good time but our pillars aren’t parties, [they’re] academics, leadership, sisterhood, and philanthropy, so we do have to do 15 hours of community service a semester, we have to go to fundraising – which isn’t always for ourselves – like Relay for Life. We have to sustain a certain GPA to maintain membership,” says Kelly Stevens, the VP of finance and fundraising with Kappa Pi Chi. Kelly inspires with her level of commitment to the sorority and has taken on the task of boldly getting the new Kappa Pi Chi involved in their community. She is also quick to dispel any ideas that the sorority is not determined in their efforts. “If you don’t do those things you do go onto a probationary period where you have to fix the things you missed. We’re just a group of friends who like to do good and create structure in our lives. It bothers me when those things are out there, but I like to work hard to make sure . . . that’s not the way people think anymore.” Stevens is no stranger to finding strength in groups; when she first joined Kappa Pi Chi in 2012, she had originally had no intention of doing so, or of getting involved with any clubs whatsoever. “My friend took me to the Kappa Pi Chi ‘Meet the Sisters’ event and I wasn’t interested in joining clubs. I wanted to get into university and out as fast as I could. And I went to this event and the girls were so fun . . . I instantly clicked.” Soon it became a major part of her life. “Lots of us live together. I didn’t get along with my friends from res, and I got to know the girls in the sorority a lot better. We’re all roommates now and spend all our waking moments together. It just changes your outlook and you learn how to ask for help and how to give help.” Once involved, Stevens saw the value of being in a sorority. “I think it [is important], especially for first years. It’s beneficial for making friends . . . and finding friend groups. At this point [we’re at] 30 people . . . and you’re obviously not going to be best friends, but you tend to find your own niche in our organization. It’s really supportive; someone who’s taken a class can help you with it. You’re having a bad day, feeling sick, there’s going to be someone who wants to hang out.” It hasn’t been easy, though. According to Stevens, the hardest


part is “taking an objective role when there’s an emotional aspect. You have to raise money to do fundraising and community service. [We have] two meetings a week. It’s killer but it’s definitely worth it.” Luckily, Kappa Pi Chi has fellow sorority Delta Eta Iota and the fraternity Kappa Sigma to help out. “Greek life on campus is super involved. We have execs that meet once or twice a month, we do voting procedures together, we host a number of events together, and we are a support system for each other. We go to each other’s events, which is nice knowing there will be two other [groups] that will come to our events.” Stevens’ gratefulness to the two cannot be understated. It is important to Kappa Pi Chi’s status to have helping hands as a new Lethbridge-made sorority. Stevens reflects on this and the challenges they face. “We are planning to go national. Our goal is to be affiliated with national sororities. My goal is to fundraise so when we do go national and our fees increase we’ll have a buffer zone so that our girls won’t have to leave. [We want] to get our name out in the community. When groups come and approach us, that’s very rewarding . . . Our speed-dating event is really awesome; people have a great time and it’s a good fundraiser for ourselves – and we get our name out there and bring people together who might not be in a sorority or Greek life at all.” As a new sorority, Kappa Pi Chi has big shoes to fill. “The sorority was founded October 2011. It’s gone from five members to, I believe, 32 active members and 27 pledge members. So potentially, by the end of November, we’ll have 60 people.” Stevens’ excitement is quite apparent, as her dedication to the group promises to extend past her university career. “I plan on staying super involved as an alumnus; I’ll definitely contribute financially as well as give in my time, come to events to show my involvement and support, providing help if someone needs help. In my lifetime, I want it to keep going how it is and be a big group of friends.” Kappa Pi Chi is busily involved in its own activities, with the upcoming annual Relay for Life and other differing events. As Stevens explains, “We [also] do our own fundraisers; we do a Speed-Dating event in the spring.” She notes that it is their biggest event for their own fundraising, whereas the relay is all about helping out in the community. While preparing for the future, Stevens has had time to reflect on the amazing experiences of being a new part of campus Greek life since joining in 2012. “It has taught me a lot about teamwork, friendship, and responsibility. Not to mention community involvement and leadership. I have met some of the best friends I have ever had and I strive to build on these friendships for years to come.” Time will tell how far Kappa Pi Chi will go and when it will reach its goals. Luckily, with the support of go-getting individuals like Stevens, it’s clear that they will eventually hit their targets and many, many more.

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“He's not a professional athlete, and he doesn't deserve to be kicked when he's down." The above words were spoken by Oklahoma State Cowboys football coach Mike Gundy in a now infamous press conference where Gundy tore into a local sports writer for comments made in an article about the “softness” of his players. Gundy was chastised for his comments by the national media, which found the coach to be overreacting to an accurate depiction of his spoiled players. College football, after all, straddles the line between professional and amateur athletics, to the point where one can be forgiven for mistaking the two. Boosters, bribes, and bounty programs are now so ingrained in college football that entire programs have been dismantled due to their corruption. An amateur athlete is one who is not reimbursed for his athletic achievements, but rather plays the game for the love of sport. Unfortunately, college football itself is now like a minor-league system to the Herculean NFL, where star players are coddled through college to get passing grades just so that they maintain their eligibility. The prizes that await college studs are immense; cars and money are just the tip of what is available. Almost all of the star college football players are recruited by agents before they finish their collegiate careers, just so that the money that will be given to them once they enter the big league is handled properly. The term “amateur” is unfathomable in this age of college football, and Gundy was given the deserved gears for his own inaccurate and ludicrous statement. Ironically enough, the Oklahoma State Cowboys are currently caught in a maelstrom of corruption reportedly spanning the length of Gundy’s coaching career at the school. The world in which Gundy’s quote could be accurately applied is the world of minor league hockey, particularly the world of the WHL. The league is comprised mainly of teenagers who are effectively trying out for NHL teams, but under the guise of their own league. These mostly teenaged men spend months on cramped busses and in archaic arenas just to be given a shot to enter the NHL, and their salary is nil compared to that of the professional amateurs of college football. For all intents and purposes, WHL players are the definition of what it means to be an amateur. That is why it was so surprising to read the Lethbridge Herald’s “Toasts and Roasts” last week; there was a lot of criticism directed at these young, hardworking men. The Toasts and Roasts are the “adult” equivalent of the Meliorist’s TLFs. They serve as an anonymous space where citizens can air their grievances under the veil of secrecy. Like any other critical forum, the anonymity is what makes the Toasts and Roasts so popular. If your neighbour has a barking dog, you can roast him in this section, and instead of a face-to-face confrontation, you have an even more satisfying print source to safely express your anger. Conversely, if a citizen in Lethbridge does something truly commendable, you can give them, as the Herald puts it, a “pat on the back” and make yourself feel better in doing so. This section serves as a catharsis for most, as it allows one’s most personal thoughts and feeling to be made public without anyone knowing their identity. The Roasts far out-weight the Toasts, however, and the negativity in this section is immense. Nonetheless, the section remains extremely popular, as the anonymity of a paragraph of whatever you wish to vent is both rewarding for the venter and entertaining for the reader. As I sat down to read the Toasts and Roasts last Monday, I became more and more horrified at the slew of Roasts castigating the amateur

teenage players of the Lethbridge Hurricanes. One roaster was furious at the lack of size amongst this year’s squad. Another questioned the players’ efforts against their much better competition. A third demanded better hockey, for they paid good money to watch the Hurricanes and expected them to win at a higher frequency. These comments, taken at face value, are fair criticisms of any team with a fan base that pays to see them play. To apply them to a minor league hockey team, however, is less fair and more akin to bullying. If the Hurricanes were a professional hockey team with a payroll of $64 million, then I could understand the criticism. After all, professional athletes are paid to win, and anything less is unacceptable to both the fans and the league. The Hurricanes, at which the readers of the Herald so viciously lashed out, however, are not professional athletes, but homesick kids just trying to pursue their dreams of playing NHL hockey. What is more disappointing, however, is that these so-called critics are faceless in their rhetoric, and are using a forum based around personal commentary to bash an entire organization. Now, I will not say that the Hurricanes of 2013 are by any means undeserving of some criticism. They are, as this is written, a 2-11 hockey team with seemingly no improvement coming in the near future. They have some tools in place to bring optimism to the club, including NHL-tenured Drake Berehowsky, head coach of the team. Their record, however, reflects a shortage of basic hockey talent, and not a lack of effort or desire. Those roasters are making glib statements about a hockey club that they view as worthy of professional criticism, when in fact they are more akin to minor hockey players, just skating for the first time. The ticket price has become a ticket to criticize, and these roasters have clearly mistaken the two. Yes, the WHL demands a cost in order to turn a profit, but this profit is more for the upkeep of the building and the filling of the busses than it is to pad the athletes’ salaries. To mistake the WHL for a professional league is a fallacy in itself, and to attack the team through an anonymous print forum is gutless.


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RICHIE WILCOX Lydia K. from Gem Tattoo in Halifax, N.S.

“I wanted a tattoo to represent theatre. But I was not going to get the [comedy and tragedy] faces. This is from a poster of a show I directed from a company I started near the beginning of my theatre career. I like the playfulness of this little boy, but the danger, the death symbol above him. To me, it represents innocence, the loss of innocence – life and death and theatre.”






Right: Brendan Browne from Nectar – Fine Tattooing and Art Collective in Calgary, Alta. Left: Stick ‘n’ Poke

“The mermaid, to me, is a Danish cultural symbol. There’s a statue of it in the harbour in Copenhagen in Denmark. I got the tattoo because it’s a symbol of my family’s heritage, and I’ve always loved the story of “The Little Mermaid.” I used to think that my grandma was the little mermaid, but she’s not, which is really sad.” — 21



ANDREW McCUTCHEON I am not like most people. Most individuals go through their entire lives in an unwavering state of blissful ignorance. I am not elitist in this declaration. How I wish I could turn back the hours to that fateful day where all pretences of a logical and fair world were sliced to ribbons before my very eyes – the day before this insanity, before this madness of knowledge had infested and spread and corrupted my mind beyond all recognition and understanding of what it means to be human. I have been set upon the most merciless fate: to have poured across the various ill-forgotten tomes and to have learned those terrors of truth and come out ungraciously alive on the other end. I have drunk deeply of the most unnameable secret horrors from a black-gilded chalice most foul. Never again shall my eyes see the world in the way they once did. I am writing, of course, about student theatre. The University of Lethbridge has recently had the privilege of hosting a very special performance of The King in Yellow, which was put on by a student theatre troupe touring from the Miskatonic University in Arkham, Massachusetts. These players invited a select group of crazed dreamers, maddened artists, and the only recently-sane to attend. As an education faculty drop-out, I am all three, and so was privy to an invitation to the so-called “cursed play.” This invitation was realized on a cold October morning. Like most students, I was checking the feeds of my various social media accounts, instead of paying attention in class, when I scrolled across a tweet of a most intense peculiarity. It was not from any Twitter account that I voluntarily followed, and the account’s avatar was a multitude of unblinking yellow eyes peering out from an inky blackness. The tweet itself seemed to be fairly innocuous. It was directed to my personal account and was written in a colloquial, yet professional style. It invited me to the troupe’s upcoming performance of The King in Yellow and ended with a link to where I could purchase a ticket. Although unnerved at the presence of this tweet, its true horrific nature only became clear in the days to come. I clicked “favorite” on the seemingly innocuous tweet, so that I could read it later at home. But when I did this, I stumbled upon something no man should see. My clammy palms could not be calmed as I read and re-read the tweet, pouring over it again and again until my eyes finally confirmed what my heart could not stand to believe. The threshold of my sanity was pressed upon by this realization, a lurking haunter in the recesses of my mind. The tweet was well over the 140 character limit. Such madness is not fit for human consciousness, and I resolved with a tightness in my gut to later remove the tweet from my “favorite” list and block the account after purchasing my ticket. To my surprise and relief, it


was missing when I attempted to find it. Head dizzy and chest tight, I convinced myself that it was merely a trick of the page or a glitch in the code, grasping as best I could at faint strings of lucid sanity. I bought my ticket without any incident above normal. There was a ritual where I had to venture deep to find a gilded obsidian dagger and draw my own blood with it to pay the obscure, lurking monsters that coloured the dark night with their presence. But that’s just Ticketmaster for you. I had the opportunity to sit down with the director of the show, Professor Richard Upton Pickman, in the lobby before the performance started. At least, I think it was Professor Pickman. He stared quietly into the distance as I asked him various questions about the show. I remember that he had answered my questions cordially and kindly. However, for some odd reason, I could not recall anything he had said even moments after we had finished. The file that I used to record the interview must have been corrupted also, as the audio of his voice sounded utterly alien. The closest possible parallel I can draw is the sound of a multitude of flies, screeching a cacophonic orchestra, which seemed to pour forth from his diaphragm in a whirlwind of dark buzzing eyes, wings, and antennae. Eugh. Professors, right? In vain, I attempted to write off the horror of this revolting event as mere innocuous happenstance, but nothing could prepare me for the most terrible events yet to come. I found my seat in the David Sphinx theatre and waited on the curtain’s opening. The show’s beginning revealed the worst yet of all the seemingly related events of the weird and unnatural that had preceded this moment. Nothing could have prepared me for the awful realization that came. The King in Yellow was not at all what I had imagined. The kingdom of Lost Corsica had been replaced with the setting of prohibition-era Chicago. Beside both Cassilda and Camilda, his mob members, The Stranger was dressed in a pinstripe suit. My worst fear had come to be: This was a period adaptation. Still, I managed to enjoy most of the show by looking beyond the hackneyed interpretation. The tale of the mad king is a story as old as time itself, and it did not disappoint. Technically, the show was incredible; tendrils of fog crawled across the theatre and it was as if they were the unseen tentacles of some otherworldly force, slowly beginning to enrapture us, the unsuspecting audience. I feared for any pregnant and breastfeeding women. However, near the climax of the first act when Camilda asks The Stranger to unmask himself I must have blacked out. Even after several days, I had no recollection of the rest of the show. Hours after the show must have ended, I woke up, kneeling before a grey altar in an abandoned Celtic cemetery. My dear Marla… with her blood on my hands I trembled and retched as her lifeless body continued to drain itself of its life force. I cast down the ebony dagger that I cradled in my left hand. What had I done? The pale moon shone down upon me as if to highlight the violent threshold I had crossed. It was the play, the play! Curse that play! This madness may have been the king’s, but the bloody actions were mine, all mine! I no longer have the privilege of sanity. No longer can I pretend that this world of chaotic disorder has any semblance of ordered rationality. No longer can I look myself in the mirror, knowing full well that these alien horrors exist and that I am merely a pawn in their infinitely incomprehensible games. Overall, I’d give the play three and a half stars out of five. Tickets can be purchased by crying softly into your pillow.

— 23


Chem lab would be easier if I didn’t have such an attractive lab proff.. Derp, derp derp, derp derp derp, derp derp derp derp, DEEEERRRRPPPP! Dear sexy boys! Grow that gorgeous hair long and moustaches. I can’t get enough! Love, that gorgeous waitress from the zoo. Come out and visit me. I just checked that band called Speed Racer… They aren’t that awesome… They are amazing. Keep up the good tunes TLFs. I, too, would like to know where all the microwaves on campus are!! A big thank you to ALL the people who have given me rides, held the door for me, helped with my bag. Srsly. +1 Faith in humanity. You all da best. -Girl with broken ankle :)

Thanks to Dr. Schultz for putting a Harry Potter reference in our last moodle quiz. I almost burst out laughing until I realized I was in the testing centre! -Bio/Harry Potter nerd I love seeing the quote “Who Is John Galt?” everywhere. Keep it up whoever you are. When will the electricity get turned back on in the bus loop at night…? Sincerely, Girl who feels like she is gonna get raped Dear Lonely gay guy, You are not alone Sincerely, Unattractive gay guy P.S Pride Centre has a microwave for anyone to use :) To the girl who left your polka dot panties behind Kanai… I do not want to see that when I am walking to my 8 am class. Keep it classy…

To the guy in the maroon shirt sitting in the back row of archeology… you’re really cute Dear guy with the kilt who sits outside of PE250, you make me smile. To all the starving students that require a microwave: B block beside the computers. ~Non-starving-Non-student. Was wondering what a TLF was because people always talk about them. So I googled it, first result: tight little fanny

To the person who saw me sleeping in Uhall, thank you, they are really comfy -Ghostbuster pants To answer the question of “Who is John Galt?” He is a neck bearded libertarian who reads too much Rand and not enough anything else. Going to try the subway diet this year, except for breakfasts and weekends. Thanks Aramark foods.

The cheery umbrella Exiting the comedy club Splits its side

To the student who compared his tough class to the Holocaust. Do NOT ever make that comparison because there is none. I think an education on the Holocaust is in order.

Lonely Gay Guy, not all cute guys are str8. To fellow mo’s on campus, the greater gay community here is inclusive not exclusive. Saying hello doesn’t hurt. Get over yourself. S

To the unattractive gay guy, and the lonely gay guy Think we could hang out and be friends? From, the Shy, unattractive, lonely, gay first year in the Pride Centre.


At least my bangs are reasonable – SpiderSean To the tall, long haired guy at Starbucks with the cute accent: I’d let you steam my milk any day… ;) ;) From: “Xtra hot” Chai Tea Latte To the guy who sang along to GoodBye Earl with my friend and I last night, thanks. It made out night a whole lot better -Maryanne and Wanda were the best of friends -D2 girls To: The nurse from Calgary that was dressed as a mime, you lost your voice at Pulse on Saturday night. I ended up losing you, but I would love to meet up some time! -Tallguyinblue Once in a while someone will say how they actually feel and it’s messy and vulnerable, and far too rare. Don’t be a Zombie. sidenote: Guy with beautiful eyelashes, you’re cool.

It makes me sad to know that my “Gali’s” crew managed to keep the leather couches in good shape for 3 years before we broke one… The new ones lasted all of one year. *SIGH* To the bro who was sitting behind me in the QUIET section of the library… Stop popping your gum, PLEASE. It is super distracting. Dear CKXU I love you Just because I know how to knit does not mean I will make you a scarf, toque, and mitts … for free … in one weekend GET MONEY GET PAID!! To the magic players in the zoo looking for more players: how welcoming are you to new players who just watch youtube videos of magic? Magic in the zoo?! When? I’m in!

OMG! I’m the guy in the kilt who sits outside PE250. Sometimes I wear 3-peice suits as well. I don’t care about microwaves… Where can I find a water kettle? The ‘hot’ water from the urban market is lukewarm and I feel like a criminal for not paying. How does everyone feel about the “my culture is not a costume” argument/adverts? I just witnessed a fight on FB about it & wondered what my fellow students feel. So… the Red Fort Cafe sells shawarma and its effing delicious. It is waaaay better than Subway. Tony Stark and the rest of the Avengers would approve! To the girl with brown hair and auburn eyes at CJ’s around noon today with your blonde friend. I think you’re the most beautiful woman I have seen, just needed to say.

To Cute Girl, It was right on the path between the apartments and RVT just a little past the bench, I hope it’s you. So we can go for coffee when I catch you. Guy in Red OH EM GEE. I am so excited for Booster Juice on campus! There is no improv club of some sort on campus, or there is and I am that oblivious that I do not know of it? Sincerely, crazy curly haired girl. Question for the anti-choicers: If abortion is made illegal, what should the punishment be for women who get them?


Textbooks are the second largest expense students are faced with when attending university, with students spending an estimated $1200 per year on books and supplies. With all the other fees associated with getting an education, students need to take advantage of every money saving opportunity available to them. Saving money on textbooks is all about doing a little bit of homework. There are many tips and tricks out there to help students lighten the burden on their wallets. One option to consider is buying used books. Sites such as Facebook buy and swaps, Kijiji, and Amazon are all great resources for students. One of the most important things to pay attention to for online resources is the possible cost associated with access codes if you plan on buying them separately from the textbook. Looking at older editions of textbooks is a viable option, and sometimes the differences between the new and old editions are minimal. When or not the older edition will be suitable for their class. eBooks offer a substitute to purchasing paper copies, and they can be found in many different formats. Although it’s a great alternative, there are some downsides to eBooks that students should be aware of. Often there will be an expiry date on an eBook, after which time the student no longer has access. This poses a problem for anyone who likes to reference previously used textbooks as a resource in future classes, and -also elimi

nates the possibility of reselling the textbook. These issues are also present when looking at renting textbooks. If used books, eBooks, and older editions are not appealing, there are also many options for purchasing new books. Our campus bookstore is the classic go-to for students, but it is not the only option. Looking- at book stores such as Coles or Chapters, or online retailers such as Amazon or

deal. It is not a very time consuming process and it is well worth it to ensure students are saving money wherever possible. At the end of the semester students are able to sell textbooks back to the bookstore, however the amount received for a book is often a frac tion of the original cost. Getting $3.00 back on an $80 textbook is hardly worth lugging a book all the way to the university. Selling used- and un wanted books through other means is a much more effective- way to re cuperate costs. Utilizing resources such as the ULSU textbook exchange helps to connect students who are looking to buy and sell used books. This online system provides a forum for students to post the information for the textbooks they are looking to sell, and those who are looking to purchase can search by title and author. This allows students to set the price they are looking to receive for their books and helps other students avoid pay ing high prices for new copies. When living on a student budget it is very important that students are aware of all their options. Doing a little bit of homework before buying textbooks can help students save a ton of money throughout their postsecondary career. When it comes to buying books for future semesters, students should explore all the options and ensure they are being book smart.

WHERE DOES YOUR MONEY GO? WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE ULSU FEES MICHAEL KAWCHUK VP Operations & Finance Full time students pay a total of $48.25 in fees that go to the Students’ Union every semester, and we feel it is important that students know where this money is being spent. The spending of these fees is taken very seriously, and we have a strict spending policy in place dictating how the funds are allocated - and bud geted. Fees collected are split into three pools by the university: - the build ing fund, the operations fund, and the capital replacement fund. Each appropriate. The building fund was originally used to fund the purchase - of the Stu dents’ Union building, which is now 56 per cent owned by the Students’ Union. The mortgage on this building has since been paid off and the fees current building. This building currently generates revenue for- the organi zation through leases with the university and other tenants. The majority of the SU student fees, nearly two-thirds, goes towards our operations. This is used to fund the bulk of our organization’s activities, and enables us to provide many services to students. We use this money to

advocate on behalf of students at all levels of government and within the tives, seven full time staff, approximately 40 part time staff, and 16 elected general assembly members. Each of these staff members have a purpose within the organization, and work towards accomplishing the goal - of pro viding more services and activities for students at a reduced cost. Some of the services we provide include the convenience store in the Students’ Union building, the Zoo, the health and dental plan, events like Fresh Fest, academic speakers, and much more. Although the operational fee is not the funding and without it we would not be able to provide the same level of service to students. working order so that our staff can continue to focus on providing you the best service possible. derstand where the fees come from and where they are going.- It is impor tant that the student body understands that our priority is to be- account able to them. We want our organization to be as transparent as possible so that students understand why we exist.




CES JOB LISTINGS WELCOME BACK EVERYONE! Let us introduce you to CES (Career & Employment Services). CES is a student service office dedicated to assisting you with your Career and Job Search needs. Weʼre within the Career Co-op Services Office in AH154, along with Applied Studies and the Management and Arts & Science Cooperative Education programs. CCS office hours are 9 a.m. - 12 p.m. and 1 p.m. - 4 p.m. Monday - Friday. Workshops for November:

Some of our services include:

• CAREER ADVISING – whether you are in your first year or about to graduate; if you are wondering what you can do with your major; if your career path is the right one for you, or how to go about finding a job, come in to make an appointment with a Career Advisor! • CES JOB BOARD! – access part-time, summer, full-time, international, and volunteer opportunities! Check postings 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, from the comfort of your own home or on campus. For more information and how to access the site, go to our website or come in to our office in AH154. All of the positions listed below can be found on the CES Job Board, • JOB SEARCH STRATEGIES – do you have questions about resumes or interviews? We have handouts for you; drop by to sign up for a workshop, • CAREER & EMPLOYER INFORMATION SESSIONS – watch for upcoming career events and information session dates. • CAREER INFORMATION – we have employer information, website lists, info on professional entrance exams (e.g. LSAT, MCAT, DAT, GRE) and an array of career planning information.

CES career exploration workshops:

Friday, Nov. 15, 11:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. Thursday, Nov. 21, 1:40 p.m. – 3:40 p.m.

To see full workshop schedule and sign up go online to

CES resume & cover letter workshops:

CES job search & networking workshops:

Thursday, Nov. 7, 11:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 20, 3:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 1, 11:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 6, 1:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. Thursday, Nov. 14, 1:40 p.m. – 3:40 p.m. Monday, Nov. 18, 10:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 26, 11:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.

CES interview techniques workshops:

Wednesday, Nov. 13, 10:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 27, 2:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.

Go to our website for more detailed information on our services: For details of the postings and information on the application processes go to

Full Time

·RN Mental Health, Cold Lake ~ Calian (Dec. 31) ·Distribution Manager, Cgy ~ Uline (Dec. 13) ·General Manager, Cgy ~ Uline (Dec. 13) ·Agronomist ~ McRae Holdings (Dec. 31) ·Agribusiness Assistant ~ Richardson International (Jan. 31) ·Residential Nurse, Cgy ~ Woods Homes (Nov. 30) ·Fire Claim Representative, Cgy ~ State Farm Insurance (Nov. 7) ·Software Developer, Edm ~ Pleasant Solutions (Nov. 7) ·Business Analyst ~ Pleasant Solutions (Nov. 7) ·Graphic Designer, Edm ~ Pleasant Solutions (Nov. 7) ·Cook Supervisor, Leth ~ Compass Group Canada (Nov. 9) ·Lending Solutions Manager, Cgy ~ Scotiabank (Nov. 10) ·Communication Coordinator ~ Kainaiwa Childrenʼs Services (Nov. 12) ·Business Agronomist, North Battleford ~Grasslands Recruitment Specialists (Nov. 5) ·Wholesale Account Manager – Fertilizer, Yorkton ~ Grasslands Recruitment Specialists (Nov. 3) ·Business Development Specialist, SK ~ Grasslands Recruitment Specialists (Nov. 2) ·Crop Protection Business Manager, Cgy ~ Grasslands Recruitment Specialists (Nov. 3) ·ERP (Banner) Applications Developer, Athabasca ~ Athabasca University (Nov. 14)


— 30

·Director, Library & Scholarly Resources, Athabasca ~ Athabasca University (Nov. 14) ·Office Adminstrator, Leth ~ L.A. Grain (Nov. 14) ·CPA Articling Position (Sept 2014), Edm ~ Mowbrey Gill LLP (Nov. 16) ·M&A Associate, Edm ~ Sequeira (Nov. 17) ·M&A Analyst, Edm ~ Sequeira (Nov. 17) ·Micosoft Dynamics GP Business Solutions Consultant, Cgy ~ Callow & Associates (Nov. 17) ·Dispatcher, Standoff ~ Blood Tribe Police Services (Nov. 18) ·Court Office Clerk Supervisor, Standoff ~ Blood Tribe Police Services (Nov. 18) ·Administrative Assistant – Civilian, Standoff ~ Blood Tribe Police Services (Nov. 18) ·Assistant Marketing Director, Cgy ~ Ivanhoe Cambridge (Nov. 21) ·Division Manager, Saskatoon ~ Flaman Group of Companies (Nov. 21) ·Preschool Teacher – French Immersion, Cgy ~ La Pre-maternelle La Coccinelle (Nov. 22) ·Kinesiologist ~ Community Neurorehab Services (Nov. 23) ·Alltech Career Development Program ~ Alltech (Dec. 2) ·Maintenance Worker, Leth ~ Lethbridge College (Nov. 8) ·Family & Community Support Worker, Med Hat ~ Bridge Family Programs Assoc. (Nov. 4) ·Coordinator, Cgy ~ Home Solutions Corporation (Nov. 15) ·Controller, Vauxhall ~ Bow River Gas Co-op (Nov. 24)

Summer – Yes Employers are Already Hiring for Summer Positions!!

·Technology Development Assistant; DEKALB Agronomy Assistant; Field Research Assistants; Summer Sales Assistant ~ Monsanto (Nov. 29) ·Student, Land Contacts & Administration, Cgy ~ Enerplus (Nov. 16) ·Student, Stakeholder Relations, Cgy ~ Enerplus (Dec. 16) ·Summer Tax, Cgy ~ Enerplus (Dec. 16) ·Summer Student: Product Development/Trailing Assistant/Customer Resource Specialist/Agronomic Assistant ~ Syngenta (Feb. 28) ·Agribusiness Student ~ Richardson International (Jan. 31) ·Agronomy Student ~ Richardson International (Jan. 31) ·Agronomy Trial Intern ~ DuPont Pioneer (Dec. 5) ·Hybrid Canola Seed Production Assistant, Leth ~ Dow AgroSciences (Nov. 15) ·Wildland Firefighter ~ Alberta Environment & Sustainable Resources (Nov. 30) ·Production Technician, Leth ~ HyTech Production (Dec. 1) ·Human Resources Student, Cgy ~ Cenovus (Nov. 10)


·Sell Holiday Cards ~ Attitude Greetings Inc (Nov. 5) ·Grade 1 Teacher, Lloydminster ~ Lloydminster Public School Division (Dec. 3) ·Making Connections Worker, Leth ~ Lethbridge School District (Dec. 10)


·Accounting & Finance Internships, Beijing/Shanghai ~ CISC Global Inc (Dec. 31) ·Social Media Marketing Internships, Beijing/Shanghai ~ CISC Global Inc (Dec. 31) ·Various International Internships ~ InternChina (Dec. 25) ·Global Market of Development ~ Ningbo Wencheng International Student Internship Inc (Dec. 29) ·English Teacher, Japan ~ Nichii Gakkan (Nov. 8) ·Guide, Normandy France ~ Juno Beach Centre (Nov. 26) ·ESL Teacher ~ Canadian Connection (Dec. 31) ·Teach in the UK ~ Synarbor Education (Nov. 15) ·English Teacher, South Korea ~ Travel and Teach Recruiting (Nov. 23)


·Interpreters and Translators, Leth ~ Lethbridge Family Services (Dec. 23) ·Brand Ambassadors, Cgy/Edm ~ XMC Sports & Entertainment (Dec. 31) ·Dog Kennel Employee, Leth ~ Hot Dogz Ltd. (Dec. 31) ·Professional Fundraiser, Cgy/Edm ~ Jobbook (Feb. 24) ·Receptionist, Leth ~ McFadden Honda (Nov. 7)

October 31 - November 6

With Shred Kelly Halloween 31 Delhi2Dublin Dance Party Inferno Nightclub Folk

HOWLoween with Go For the Eyes and Redrum Triumph Owl Acoustic Lounge Rock

Jesseʼs Going Away Party with the New Weather Machine, Jesse and the Dandelions and Cosmic Charley The Slice Rock

1 Dale Ketcheson Mocha Cabana Jazz

Lethbridge Folk Club Bluegrass Jam


Sarah Beth Keeley

The Slice Blues

Halloween Bands as Bands

Papa King with Dil Jopp, Tyler Bird and Darryl Düus

The Slice Rock

Open Mic at Jimmy's Jimmyʼs Pub Rock

Owl Acoustic Lounge Blues


Head of the Herd with the Glorious Sons Scores Thirst and Grill Rock

2 Dale Ketcheson Mocha Cabana Jazz

Sheldon Arvay Band

Wolf's Den Folk

Ricʼs Grill Jazz

Lethbridge Symphony Orchestra Chamber Series II with Trumpet player Josh Davies

Sarah Beth Keeley

Southminster United Church Classical

The Perpetrators

Lethbridge Casino Country

Lethbridge Casino Country

Lethbridge Folk Club presents Hills and Lemelin

Moose Hall Blues


Open Mic at Owl Acoustic Lounge Owl Acoustic Lounge Rock

Brock Zeman

The Slice Country

5 Open Mic at the Slice The Slice Rock


Uncensored Improv with the Drama Nutz NAAG Studio Comedy

James Oldenburg

Ricʼs Grill Jazz

L.A. Beat Open Jam Owl Acoustic Lounge Folk

The Meliorist, Volume 47 Issue 8  
The Meliorist, Volume 47 Issue 8  

The Independent Student Newspaper of the University of Lethbridge