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Pull 111 Your Neck Percy-'Here Conies The Wrath of God ����� THE

FINAL WEATHER Raining and Muddy. Track heavy. North to south to east to westerly winds. Temperatures: High 0 degrees; Low 0 degrees Fahren-

heit.

Volume Weak

MORON LOYOLA UNIVERSITY, NEW ORLEANS, LA., APRIL FOOL, 1932

Number MOron 789

Sehrt Weds Taxi Dancer

—Story on Page 2

Council Leader Rum Head —Story

LIQUOR RING CAPTURED AFTER GUN

BATTLE

The quintet of rum-runners who were captured along the Old Spanish Trail after a running gun battle with police early this week. Reading from left to right: Top Row, "Battling Bently Byrnes, Paul "Faulkner" Capdevielle. Bottom Row, Robert A. "Thousand Legs" Ainsworth, "Pretty Paul" Reising and "Scarface" Skelly Wright. Reising, who police believe to be the head of the greatest ring of liquor runners in the South, is also president of the Loyola Student Council. Upon hearing that their leader was under arrest pending investigation of the liquor charges, the Council through its vice-president Earl Bailey demanded Reising's resignation. Reising stated to a Moron representative that the demand for his resignation was move on Bailey's part to oust him so Bailey could assume the presidency. Bailey said if Reising was running liquor, the least he could have done was cut the Council in on the profits.

on

Page 3

Prominent Law Student Marries Dance Hall Queen

Two hearts that beat as one. "Softie" Sehrt the Parlor Kid and Espenan now Mr. and Mrs. Clementine Sehrt whose secret marriage three months ago was disclosed yesterday when "Old Man" Sehrt, millionaire baker and dear old dad to Clem Sehrt tried to buy off the dance palace queen. "Peaches" said she would stick to Clem, the old stick in the mud and there you are.

Julia "Peaches"

How Long Will It

Last?

Stiff Riot In Anatomy Laboratory Feared


2

THE MORON, APRIL FOOL, 1932

Dance Palace Queen Wont Leave "Softie" Sehrt Lola Orchestra Nickel-a-Dancer Will Stick Aristocratic Baker Boy Weds to Take Refuses To Her Lawyer Husband Lou Forbes' Job Democratic Dance Palacer While her prominent millionaire husband continued his

The story as told exclusively to the Moron ma related thus and is here with reprinted with the kind permission of the owners of the copyright.

By Sob Sister

will replace Lou Forbes and his Music at the Saenger Theatre Dr. Hamil Cupero director of the musicians said this week. (And -**■« f he doesn't know,: vho does). "We were offered ;he job but the boys iecided they could lot play music for o small a compen;ation as $200.00 a Dullenty week," John Dullenty, business manager and high I i essure press agent for the aggregation stated. "However we are planning a road tour for the orchestra and the members will leave next Mondmy. The itinerary will include some of the most beautiful spots in the country. From New Orleans we will go to Harahan where we will entertain in the High School auditorium. The trip then takes us to the historic old Des-: trahan court house, where we play for the mayor. We will visit the Jefferson Parish Prison and then present a concert at the | Donaldsonville Dance Palace." After leaving Donaldsonville the orchestra will travel to Chicago where they will feature "Nearer My God To Thee" before the American Association for the Advancement of Atheism. Clar-j tra

i

right snuggled closer and the boy at the wheel held her nestled in his arms (he had two). She began to hum, "Ten Cents a Dance." He turned on her with a snarl and in a meek voice screamed: "Ten cents a dance; say if I couldn't dance with any woman for a nickel (under the present depression prices) I'd quit." "Quit what?" she cooed in her

;

best nickel-plated voice (under the "Are you sure the British are present depression prices). coming:?" asked the head. "Quit the ring-around-the-rosy"Of course, I'm sure the British team, what did you think?" are coming." "Well, ask them if they'd like to "Well, I didn't know, I vas only

buy a duck."

"

"Lissen, kiddie," said Clem, "was youse really serious when ya asked me to marry ya." "I was never more serious about anything in my life, except the time my little sister Agatha Ziifle had her adenoids removed," she answered. And so the conversation went until the car drew up at a small : house nestled back among the

"Say, are you a justice of the peace or something?" asked Clem. "Yeah, and who are you?" "I'm a guy who wants to get married," said Clem.

"Oh, yeah; well, I'm Walter window and the VVinchell," slammed until the glass broke. "Oh mi, oh mi, we're going to be married by Walter Winchell and get our names in the paper, goody goody," clapped Clem. The ceremonies being over the Isotta-Frachina once again found its way back to the city. The little bride, sans her wedding ring, went back to work in the dance palace and everything was quiet until Agatha chose to

again.

Again

no answer.

"The British are coming," he called and immediately a sash flew

KATZ

&

i

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The boy got out and knocked at the door. No answer. He knocked

will!

|

fskine

BESTHOFF, Ltd.

ONLY THE BEST

Guy Knobloch Missing With

GOOD DRUG STORES

studies in law at Loyola, pretty Julia Espenan, former Pharmacy co-ed and at present a nickel-a-dance girl in one of New Orleans' well-known dives, went on daring nightly, it was revealed yesterday by the dancer's sister, Agatha Ziifle. The romance was disclosed when Aloysius (Al to you) Sehrt, New Orleans' big dough boy, and father of dear Clementine, tried to buy off the girl who had taken his son in the bond of

matrimony.

Stanley Wagner Will Open New Dancing School It was learned this week by a reporter that the new New Orleans school of Terpsichorean art to lie opened on Basin St. immediately behind the old Courthouse will be under the Stanley "Pennydirection of Moron

i j

I

on the eighteenth floor of the lux-

urious

Mystic Hotel

in the Voo

Carry, and had removed his bride to a furnished

flat

in

Jefferson

Parish. Julia stick

stated

that

her

socially

to

she

would

prominent

husband and his moderate allowance (his father had cut him off without a cent but had finally

relented to the extent of allowing pincher" Wagner, popular sophoClem $15,000.00 a year and all the more in the Loyola school of cigarettes and gin he could smoke terpsichore. and drink respectively, poor boy) Wagner announced that he will rather than make the dusty old teach ball tap,

adagio,

room,

fancy and May dancing. He also trip to Reno and put herself out

said that the school would present a May festival on the 20th of that month and the queen will be chosen by a vote of the dancing students.

"Pennypincher"* "I hope," avowed "I will be chosen Queen of the May. I'd simply adore it, you know I'm so aesthetic".

for three months and receive the alimony he offered her. The former Loyola tackle, met the pretty hostess one night when he was "out with a couple of the boys" and after having been well lubricated by an expert in that line he took off for the dance palace where he met his "heart." Dear old Clem fell like a ton of bricks off the Empire State Building (the tallest in New York), and because it was leap year the femme proposed. (How long can the man go on.) Rather than buy her the proverbial dress (and Clem had not yet been cut off by the pater, the old cut-up) Clem elected to marry the girl and so we have some copy for this tabloid. generous

Wagner stated that already he had twenty students enrolled. Included in the group were: Irving Dymond, Roger Flynn, Ike Favaloro, Marvin Chachere, Sam Love, Marnell Segura, Charles Deneand Charlie "Cracked Guy Knobloch, and his rotund chaud anatomy, bursar at Loyola, was Face" Genard. missing: yesterday morning when students flocked to his office to pay "Will Bill Flynn call RA. 2119. There their bills. When Nicholas Masters is a box there for him." (Knobloch, Jr.), opened the office at ten o'clock he found papers and SAY WOLVES/ ■ pennies all over the floor. The bursar had absconded and taken all \ (/ "It pays to look well" the funds of the university. Police today reported that they had apprehended a thin man whom they thought answered Knobloch's 4620 Freret Street description with the exception of cnAh\=j the figure. They believe that KnoPhone VPtoun 8484 bloch was not as fat as it was generally supposed but that he stuffed himself with a pillow and used this cavity in which to hide the embezzled monies. The insurance company has alFABACHER and GILBERT V. De GRUY MARIE ready forwarded a check for $6.40 i Proprietors to cover the entire loss sustained WAlnut 7171 Elm, at Hilary by the university.

College Funds

Here's Some Sale of Shirts f£k

Young "Softie" Sehrt had deserted his family's old homestead

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Apffel's Barber Shop

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New

and

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Brand

....

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11'*

$1.50 .

J

JPsr

Event Would Sell for

.

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if Not Pur-

chased Specially for this

White

WW&,--''/

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Blue

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.

.

Tan

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Green

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Collar Attached

By far the most remarkable shirt event we have ever staged every shirt PERFECT, well tailored with the FormAt collar that has the new celluloid stays to prevent wrinkling stays you can remove for laundering. .

.

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Sizes H to 20

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Sleeves 32 to 35

ELM PHARMACY J.

let the eat out of the bag with her sensational story that her sister had been married to Clem for three months. When interviewed, the bride stated that she would keep on working until she had saved up enough money for the two of them to live comfortably. "You see there is nothing else ■ for me to do. If we expect to live together some one will have to work and it looks like I'm elected. We simply can't get along on Clem's

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Guaranteed

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allowance."

■" ■

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DRINK

EVERY BOTTLE STERILIZED

'


3

THE MORON, APRIL FOOL, 1932

Council Demands Reising Resign; Fears Scandal Reising Denies He Will Quit Council; Slaps Bailey on Ear

'Pretty Paul' Reising Captured After Gun Battle With Police

dency of the Student Council had been demanded by J. Earl Bailey, vice-president of the student governing body. The demand was made after it was discovered that "Pretty Paul" had been apprehended by police and was being held pending charges of violating the 18th Amendment.

Following a running gun battle between police and the most dangerous gang of rum-runners ever to be caught in the South, Federal authorities had under arrest today five men charged with attempting to smuggle a $500,000.00 cargo of liquor from Bay St. Louis to New Orleans in a Chevrolet coupe. Police today believed that they had captured the ringleaders of the band of liquor runners when "Pretty Paul" Reising, reputed gang leader, was held pending investigation of the liquor charges.

Reising, the alleged

leader of the greatest rum ring in the .South, was caught |with four other men

i

blush." Alther Council members expressed themselves on the question in various ways: Larry Babst, "I wish I had a last Monday night as he was attempt- j drink of that corn." Council but that this post was Junior Lopez, "I wish I had a ing to transport a merely a blind for his nefarious Bailey $500,000.00 cargo drink of that corn." activities with the liquor mob. fine Mississippi corn (wholesale Louis Gerac, "I wish I had a Along with "Pretty Paul," ue, $3.62) from the Mississippi drink of that corn." police took into custody "Scarface" L. O. Cazes, "I wish I had a If Coast to New Orleans. ReisSkelly Wright, first lieutenant to ing's Chevrolet coupe was run into drink of that corn." the gang leader, Paul, "Faulkner" Roy Reicke, "I'll bet Bailey a ditch by federal officers and the • Capdevielle, "Battling" Bentley wishes he had a drink of that cargo of liquor destroyed. | Byrnes, driver of the car, and drink of that corn." | Robert "Thousand Legs" AinsIn demanding Reising's resignation Bailey stated that "the MOCK RECEIVES Council will not tolerate its memADAGIO AWARD bers dealing in the liquor traffic. Emmatt Toppino Mr. Reising's actions are not beplayed national who Mock, sprint champion who G. Raymond coming those of a leader of a i was caught in a footrace with a group of men who are supposed to , end for the Loyola Wolves off recently 320 pound policeman last week. set an example for the rest of the and on last season was student body to follow. Again, I awarded first prize in an adagio

!

I

Gamblers Again

Quit TeaRoom Games

Warned

repeat that the Council will not dancing contest, sponsored by the tolerate rum runners, unless of New Orleans School of Fencing, course they should give us a cut Dancing and Prencing (for colored) at the Municipal Audiof the profits." When approached by a Moron torium. Mock had as his partner in reporter Reising denied that his the brawl, one Clifton Meaux, resignation had been demanded, prominent Commerce senior. Mock was awarded the first but said that the move was one on Bailey's part to "embarrass me so prize because the judges could nqt that I would resign my high office understand the steps he was exand Bailey being next in line ecuting. Meaux was especially would automatically get the posi- beautiful in a low cut evening tion. The low lifer, he makes me gown of carmine hue.

Prominent Soph is Winner in Hog Calling Contest

I

90th BIRTHDAY SALE IS NOW GOING ON

Offering Outstanding Bargains

I the Park last

While

Directors

MEN'S SUITS

MAIN 1000

The authentic story of the gun battle, as related by the Maroon's war correspondent, is published below: "We were in the bushes along the Old Spanish Trail at two o'clock morning on the of March 28, at the time the officers figured the boys and girls would be returning from the Bay after the Easter vacations. Streams of cars had passed us by but we did not bother them because we were after big game and not the small fry like the regular run of Loyola students. Then, like a bolt from the blue, a small Chevrolet coupe darted by and we started our motors. "Well, from then on it was catch as catch can, the Chewy coop ahead bounced from one side of the road to the other and a liquid started dripping from the compartment in the back which was meant to only carry Saturday Evening Posts and not Mississippi corn.

"There wasn't much more to it. After a ten-mile chase, during "We are not directing our guns and subpaign against the small fry who which machine machine guns and even little bet cokies and candies on the machine guns exchanged words, cards but we are after the big the law finally won out and shots who play for pennies and forced the Reising car in a ditch don't pay one another what they | and the liquor load was ruined. lose" Louis Gerac, Pharmacy rep- j The mob was then loaded into a resentative on the Council stated patrol brought from New Orleans to the Maroon. for the purpose and away to the jail they clanged. The trial will "Will Bill Flynn call RA. 21 18. There take place sometime next week." is a box there for him." ing the lunch hour.

cam-1

the

Loyola Board of; appreciated the public-

i

WHERE LOYOLANS GO MOSS SHAVING PARLOR

I

ped from the rolls because of the disorder occasioned by his dulcet: voice in waking the classes. It is rumored that Schmidt cut a class to participate in the contest. It is also rumored that Paul D. Martinez, Oliver S. Livaudais Jr.,! Johnny Hunter, Earl Johnson, Bob Morris, McGee Moore, and Tony Mulla answered Schmidt's call. They were also marked ab-'

I

I I

'■

CANAL STREET

composer.

ED. MOSS, Proprietor

110 Baronne Street

j

STRAW HATS

'

Schmidt Council said that it would absolutely not tolerate gambling dur-

they demanded that he be drop-:

And

MEN'S STORE

Tuesday.

ity and honor brought to the university by Schmidt nevertheless

MEN'S FURNISHINGS

Holmes

that if they continued their operations in the Gothic Tea Room during the lunch period they Council

in a walk, or should we say a call. His nearest competitor was I Perry J. Booth, of the Dental school. The contest was held at a most ! inopportune time, that is, inopi portune from the viewpoint of the ! faculty. The time was ten o'clock 1 in the morning and the noise that , issued from the levee at the back i of the park awoke students and ] professors alike in Marquette

IN

HOLMES Men's Store—Use Separate Entrance on Bourbon Street or Enter from Main Store

Tea room gamblers were again threatened by the Loyola Student

Earl Schmidt, popular and would be exposed. The punishment prominent Loyola sophomore was that was attached to such offenses declared winner in the recent was that each day those convicted hog-calling contest sponsored by would be forced to bring a flower the Audubon Park Improvement and Amusement Co. and held in to dear teacher. The Student

i won

HOLMES

to

their jobs. A girl who name was not revealed by the cops was proven to be Wilbert Scheffler, prominent Loyola dental student and song

"The Brightest Spot on the Campus"

BLASI SELLS ONE AD! Black John Blasi, the funny little man of Loyola, is reported to have sold an ad for the Maroon, j The event was greeted by Scarface Skelly Wright with a faint, and was termed by Walter Winchell as' a "blessed event."

Jackson Brewing Co*

j

THE GOTHIC TEA ROOM (Formerly Loyola Cafeteria)

Serving Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Afternoon Tea and Sunday Night Supper —

For Your Convenience


4 THE MORON

THE MORON, APRIL FOOL, 1932

The Human Thing 1

To Do By M. L. E. Po.t

*

Miss Post has answered questions

LEPPERT MAHATMA GANDHI Editor ANDREW MELLON Business Manager

The Moron Platform 1.

Enforcement of the

Eighteenth Amendment. 2. Bigger and better depres-

sions. 3. Eddie Cantor for President. 4. Anne Boleyn for VicePresident. 5. Removal of Wolf from Father Janssen's door. 6.

Comfortable quarters for stiffs and unemployed.

7. Good looking co-eds at Loyola. 8. Abolition of anything.

Our Blahform In our platform which is placed at the head of this editorial column, we state that we stand for strict enforcement of the eighteenth amendment. This as will many other things in this issue, cause a great deal of comment among our readers who know the propensity of the editorial staff as regards intoxicating beverages. But, my friends, think of the evil results that would result from an abolition of this law. No longer would America be the home of the "Noble Experiment," and then what would Hoover have to talk about. Besides this, think of the decrease in the tourist trade to Havana. Think of the abolition of the many gangsters, and the consequent panic in the squakies when they would no longer have gangster stories to tell to trusting youthful minds. Think of the number of shacks which would become empty with the abolition of the speakeasies and think, Oh think of the raucous tone of voice which the great American Public would develop with the abolition of the speakeasy. Think of the number of failures in the un-

which dertaking business would come as a result of the falling off of the number of deaths from poisonous liquor. That, my friends, is why we stand for stricter enforcement of the Women's Suffrage Act. We stand for bigger and better depressions, because without them we would have no excuse to thro wthe Republican Party out of power in November, and 125,000,000 people would have nothing: to talk about any more. They wouldn't work even if they could find work, would have to resort to regular panhandling hours again with the disappearance of the various welfare committees, and besides all this we'd all have no excuse for not working. We also wish to state that the boys who put out this paper will be griped and the boys who don't put it out will also be griped.

It was discovered by the Moron

Calendar Health Hints

Campus

The News In Tabloid

HOLIDAYS FOR THE MONTH OF APRIL Editor's

Note:

The

Dean

X

By Dr. Johann Obediah Piddlepoop

Z

of

Editors Note: This column of

for Moron readers ever since we that Clementine Shert, the married Holdays at Loyola anounces that Health Hints was secured by the have been in business, which really law student, did not pay the jus- there will be quite a few holi- special permission of the Copyis a long time, and if they have tice of the peace for the dirty trick days during the coming month. righted Syndicate and is brought followed her advice they didn't played on him "All work and no play makes Jack to you in the interest of the have to ask another question. To a dull boy." said the Dean. These health of university students. this we might add they were not By Joe Scoop (UP) —The Loy- holidays, however, will in no way ola Thespians will present a play physically able to. affect the scholastic work of the Many students are most careat some future date and give the students. It merely amounts to a Dear M. L. E: I am a young ful in guarding their health, while to unemployed. the Fresh man in love with a young lady and proceeds change in sleeping apartments. many are not. Those who guard I am in the habit of asking her vegetables are requested by the ac- The list of holidays follows: their health are apt to have good to dinner on Sunday. However, she tors, as well as the unemployed. April 2: The twenty-third anni- health, while those who do not insists that because her mother is versary of the death of Doc. are apt not to have good health. Mrs. C. Shert in a statement to out of work she must bring her Bonomo. The ceremonies will in- Now we can seriously see the the press declared that she would along. Of course I feel sorry for clude a Thespian presentation of great danger that lurks in the continue to dance with the boys the mother of such a darling ( and great prison drama, shadows of ungarded health. Bonomo's I until she had made enough money she really is a darling, dear M. sing-Sing". Miss would suggest that you secure a Thee I "Of to insure lifetime to happiness L. E.) girl but this procedure is Alberta Fabacher will exhibit an Smith and Wesson 44 tonight and making a hole in my pocketbook. Clementine. original Bonomo cigar. stand guard over that wonderful Please rush advice. April 3: Anne Boleyn's birthSomeBeautiful, thing called health. There in the Pierre Leßlanc. dewhere, (N. A.N.Y.)— Special to the day. The Dean of History will I have been overwhelmed with which he fitting Eulogy, liver a sisters Moron. —The Buchmann the number of inquiries that have Dear Pierre: Ask your wife to appeared last night in a burlesque wrote especially for the occasion. come to me asking for my persew the hole in your pocketbook. show. Sister Carl carried off the April 4: Third annual celebra- sonal attention and advice on parLovingly, M. honors, eggs, cabbages, tomatoes, tion of the first and only Toppino ticular cases often encountered etc. hair-comb. Full hilday for all de- by university students. I have departments. Dear Posty-Tosty: Do you eat cided to answer a few of these in April 6: Third weekly anniver- todays spasm and hope that those A rumor to the effect that Coppeas with a knife? Cop Smith would captain the 1932 sary of the only day in Loyola's unable to be attended to will not Roger Flynn. Loyola Tiddleywinks team went history that the circulation man- die for lack of attention. Darling Roger: I don't eat peas. unconfirmed as we went to press. ager of the Maroon, Lambert Before going into these perDevotedly, Voorhies, sent out all copies of sonal wants let me give one more Cornflake. As we came off the press Cop- the paper to the corect addresses. suggestion. Be sure to guard your Dear Miss Saturday Evening: Cop Smith denied that he had even April 6: Diaper day. A collec- health. Remember that those who How can I remove spots before my considered the captaincy, "because tion of diapers will be taken up guard their health are apt to it doesn't pay enough." eyes? Alden Echezabel. after all classes, to supply the have good health, those who dont, Dear Chezzy: Try removing the Loyola boxers with boxing trunks. wont. WWL Studios, New Orleans eyes. As ever, M. Gerald Gaudin and Bernard Fon(Crankcase News Association) seca will contribute their first inShaheen, al••Will Bill Flynn call RA. 2119. There Dear Miss M: So often when Eddie (Mushmouth) fant diapers, saved all these years is a box there (or him." having after-the-theatre-supper I leged radio announcer, and world's in rose-leaves. become embarrassed about eating premier second guesser, will pick April 7: Anniversary of the Q. What should be done to the world's series a club sandwich. Should I use a the winner of discovery that the middlename of a presistent pain in the ear? it was reported cure November, late in fork? —

here today. Sincerely, William Von Lubbe Dear Bill: Use your brains, Room 44, Marquette Hall—(By then use your hooks. M. the Punch Drunk Press)— Larry Grundmann baby of the senior Dear Miss Post: Do you eat class is reported being guarded by oysters in bed? If so what do you police, so as to prevent a possible do with the shells? Enclosed find kidnapping. Professors are also two cents for return postage. watching the cute darling. All my love, Vic Choppin. Vic dearest: Teh tch tch. M. Paul Reising, president of the Loyola Student denied that he had Dear Human Thing To Doer: been asked to resign his remunerI am in love with a young lady ative office because of the scandal who is very much in love with me. attached to his arrest for liquor We have known each other for running. three years. Should we be married? Tenderly, Billy Calhoun. Biology Lab, Bobet Hall, June Dear Willie: You should esk! q 9987. (by special correspondent) —Eleven frogs are reported Post. to have croaked here last night. Honey: It is rumored that you Residents were terrorized. are going to divorce All Capone The Marquette Hall, N. O. and marry Judge Landis. Is that so? Loyola debate team won a 3-0 deYou know who cision over the deaf and dumb inDear Unohoo: It's a lie. If you stitute last night in New Orleans. don't like this paper give it to your The Loyola team upheld the afworst enemy. fiirmative of the question, "Resolved: That Loyola students are —

morons." SHAHEEN, PRITCHARD, JOIN NATIONAL GROUP Night school,

Tim Duggan was "Loyola". Tish, Tish, is his face red? April 8: Spontaneous celebration of the last presentation of "Hulda of Holland'. One year ago today it was anounced this infamous drama would never again darken the portals of the Loyola stage. It was the greatest day in Loyolas history. April 9: Three years ago today Bill Scheyd pulled a clever crack in his column. The entire Maroon staff is still celebrating. April 10: The yearly Anniversary of the Dragons. April 11: Anniversary of the foundation of the Society For the Prevention of Cruelty to John Smith.

12: Anniversary of my own death. I can still see the April

lilies on fun,

I

It was great But —who's your

my chest.

think.

little whoosis?

JUNIORS TO PROMENADE AT STOCK' THIS SPRING The Loyola Junior Prom, which was to be held last year but was

A.

Cut off the ear.

Q. Please suggest a cure for a desire to study English? A. Elect English 3 -4, you will not have to study this crip.

Q. What should be done with feet that are not mates? A. Divorce them. (Henry did it with his wives). Q. lam in doubt as to how to keep my school girl complexion? Please suggest some method. Sincerely, Sewall Oertling. A. Don't worry, you will be in school all your life! "Will Bill Flynn call RA. 2119. There U a box there for him."

Q. A.

Am I dry behind the ears? You should esk?

Q. My back hurts, my side hurts, everything hurts, what should I do? A. Lay down and die. Q.

What should be done for

an empty feeling in the head? (S.A.) —Billy Ca- postponed until this year because A. This is a most difficult hill, society's playboy, is reported the committee on decorations and question to answer. I would preIn a statement issued by WWL to be having another scandalous halls were unable to find a suitable fer not to answer this in print the Loyola radio station last night affair with an innocent maiden. barn in which to give the party but will write you personally. it was learned that Captain Watch the Moron for latest dope will be given this year on May

Arthur Pritchard, station manager of WWL and Edward Shaheen, demon sports announcer, had signed with NBC for a period of two years. It was understood by the Moron that Pritchard and Shaheen were signed because NBC was in need of two men to sweep out the studios. is

scandals. O! Boy! O! Boy! 20 according to an announcement Q. Where is the best place to by Larry Babst, president of the go for a vacation? junior class. Steal Bonomo's Cigars A. Censored.

on all

Doc Bonomo was in a quandry last week when the members of the law classes stole all his cigars. Doc, however saved the day, when he purchased a new supply of the stinkers and appeared fumigating the ground floor of Bobet Hall "Will Bill Flynn call RA. 2119. There with a new rope. a box there for him."

Babst said that the party promised to be a success because all arrangements were already made and that as an entrance prize the class would give away twenty rides on the flying horses. Incidentally, the Prom will be held at Stock's, opposite City Park on City Park Avenue.

In conclusion let me urge all to watch your health and ask more questions. I am paid to answer these questions and will feel unjust in drawing a salary without doing any work. —Piddlepoop, M. D.


THE MORON, APRIL FOOL, 1932

5

Dentists Fear Big Stiff Uprising Faculty Entertains Student Body With Annual City Park Picnic

Local Dead Man Union PRO-o Joins I.W.W. In Revolt

HOT AIR TODAY'S WWL GRAM

!

;;

In accordance with the newly adopted policy of the facW. W. L. Radio Program ulty of the university, the members of the Dental, Pharmacy, W. W. L.. the university radio Law and Arts and Science departments as well as the department of Loafing held their anual picnic under the toad stools station discontinued the Loyola in the left rear section of the beautiful City Park, Monday, Lectures this week in order to make room for a fifteen minute March 28. period for Guy Lombardo and his Chairman Alfred Bonomo assistRoyal Canadians. Arthur Pritched by the vigorous and energetic (shoes) Mr. Mitchell assured press representatives of the wonderful time enjoyed by all. "The picnic was an overwhelming success" said Bonomo, while Mitchell added "Mr. Connor of the law department was the winner of the individual prize,

being declared the winner in the sack race, the potato digging and apple ducking contests." At a mass meeting of the faculty yesterday, a motion was passed providing for another spring and summer meeting of outdoor fun. The games suggested were Hop

Strike up the Band, Boys!

Kd

ard, manager of the station said that the lectures were the only program which could have been discontinued with ease because it was the only one on which local people appeared. Prichard believes Lombardo will add to his reputation by broadcasting over W. W. L. The program for today follows: 8:00 A.M. Setting up exercises— Bernard Macfadden. Cooking 8:15 A.M. School conducted by Ed Shaheen. 8:80 A.M. Pinkahm's Pills for Pale People Hour—Melody Boys.

received another boost in America, when the m of the Amalgamated Association of Cadavers the I. W. W. at the conclusion of an open house riot le Loyola campus Friday night. Wally Kern, the Big of the Dental Department, was the leader of the inctionists. Kern declared that the stiffs were opposed s way that they were treated by the students, and outthe plan for "Collegiate Stiff Relief."

The main points | the plan follow: rible—so terrible that I was not 1. All stiffs must able to stay on the scene of the )e wrapped in celstench. This made it possible for ophane. me to write a good story. Because, 2. Dental stu- after all, dear children, a bedtime lents must not take story is a bedtime story, even if fold from stiffs' it is given over the radio. The Kern mouths. other famous generals in the Stiff a. students must wash hands bearmy are: Ralph (Little Napoleon) Neeb, Fernando Fuentes, fore working on stiffs. Among the other cutting prob- who is leader of a special band lems before the Stiffs' Association of the rebels, Charley (Hoss) are that of an eight-hour day, and Mary, who sees that all the old age pensions. soldiers keep out of step, Donald Estimated total of the dead in (Gigolo) Peterson, who takes care the recent stiff riots reached the of the caretakers daughters (all amazing total of 7,684, according of 'em at once), and last but not to Dissociated Rumpled reports least those Gold Dust Twins, Avery and Eggie from New Orleans. (Stout and By Flunk Jibbon* Spears). )f

A.M. (Slight intermission "to allow the audience to take a pill). 9:00 A.M. General Motors Hour featuring Loyola orchestra. sponsored 9:45 A.M. Health Hints, by the Mo ron—Dr. Obediah Piddlepoop S. B. 11:00 A.M. Advice to the lovelorn Tim Duggan. (fifteen minutes intermission until 6:00 P.M.) 6:00 P.M. How to get the most out of Professors—George Leppert. (The Moron's One-eye Riot Corre6:30 P.M. Dinner Music—Soup Ladle Orchestra. spondent) GEORGE ZELDEN WILL 7:00 P.M. An extract from Faust (Special to The Moron—Rights and Loyola Glee Clpb. DOUBLE FOR R. MARX Chopin 8:00 P.M. Intrepetation of Wrongs Unreserved) Prelude in Beer Flat Minor Zelden is reported to George Hello Boys and Gurrls, this is Minor Bill Scheyd. have received startling offers from Egyptian Lullaby—Hit8:80 P.M. some Riot! The stiffs under the Crooning Dentist. Wilbur Schefleadership of Wally Kern, with Paramount to double for Berpo fler. 9:00 P.M. Waterproof Sweat-Sox Hour whom I ate dinner last night, in- Marx of the Marx spot quartette. —'Wearya Underwear the girl that is so cloße to the hearts of formed me that the stiffs did not Fred Gisevius has also received Americans. offers, but we won't tell you what suffer a single casuality in the reimpersonations—by 9:15 P.M. Dog Barker. cent riot. It seems that a special kind, so there! 10:00 P.M. The D. D Sports Review gas was used by the Cadaver inBently Byrneß "Will Bill Flynn call RA. 2119. There 10:30 P.M. Care of Modern Children— surrectionists. The odor was ter-! is a box there for him." Joe Tetlow. Walley Kern and his Bhu10:40 P.M. tan six who entertain nightly at Rental Batteries the Dark Inn. Battery Service 11:00 P.M. Bobby Edler on Sweet peas FREE TIRE SERVICE and Petunias. 11:15 P.M. .Iwanita Fallon will sing "Far, Far. Away." 11:30 P.M. Temple Black's sung will be omitted by popular request. singing "My 11:45 P.M. Ut Winter Man" from the Club Plantation. ELM AND LOWERLLNE STREETS 12:00 P.M. Peri-in Connor on the Art of Posing (Especially good on Auto Re(fairs Generators Ignition- Work television sets). Heidingsfelder— Harold 12:15 P.MI Cars Washed, Stored and Greased "Asleep in the Seat". 12:21 P.M. The Correct Time—within Crank Cases Drained and Refilled five minutes either way. 12:30 P.M. The Midget's minute feaE. L. MERTZWEILLER. Manager Mark turing Bentley Byrnes, Mallay. Johnny Kron. Colette PHONE WAlnut 2992 Girard and their inimitable Kaznoks ——___—__^_______j 1:00 A.M. Bed Time Story for the children "Uncle Wiggley on a Bum Steer" Bill Flynn. 8:31

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6 OLYMPIC

THE MORON, APRIL FOOL, 1932

WINTER

GAMES HERE

Football Rules Bring Change in Because of no Snow at Placid Pigskin Attire

Change To Loyola Swamp

|

Placid still a matter of the future, the activities of the Olympic winter sports were transferred via the intra-coastal canal route to the Loyola swamp in the rear of the university. After several weeks delay and the sinking of the tug, the members of the various gangs arrived and the scheduled events were run off in their respective order. The first event on the long and also disgusting program was the sloppy is no law in the swamp) ice hockey exhibition between the proved a suitable location for the Hotcha Club and the alumni of starting point of the skii races. Sing Sing. Following this event As was expected "Apollo" Connor was another and still another won the event and was swarmed hockey game in which Emmett over by the girlies, who thronged Toppino was the outstanding star, the scene in canoes to see their standing so long in one position hero. that he stuck in the mud. Daddy The ice boat racing scheduled Long Legs Gray and "Rats" Bar- j for Wednesday evening was postrios, of the Wildwoollies, were poned till Thursday due to a mass outstanding performers. meeting of the Amalgamated other Gray, with his elongated anatomy, Muskrats of America who have was all over the field at once and rented the use of this vicinity for was a constant menace to the | a period of ten years. "Skinny" opposing players. Duggan (whistle and all) sailed The press box, which was used the packet Anne, while "Baldy" Majoue, "Bits" Malloy, "Blondy" as a brew joint for visiting athletes (they must have their beer Drouilhet and "Suitcase Simpson" and in spite of the fact that they | Trapolin were the skippers of will be deprived of it in the Olym-: other crates. Tim Duggan, alias pic ball, they got at it for there I Skinny, and Little Bit, was the ;

effect, it appears that there has been also a great deal of change in the attire of the pig skin punters. Lopez Gone forever are the days of the Moleskin, and in their place we have the days of the Decollete diaper, and the beauty breeches. But to get down to our story, it runs like this, or like that, or—any way it runs . Arnaud Lopez appeared all set for the gridiron contest, attired in the latest Patou creation for the well dressed footballer. It embodied the Crepe-de chine sweat shirt with the traditional pansy pinned to the shoulder, a huge bow of pink silk trailing from the chest to the ground and majestically following the warrior as he waltzed up the field with a crocheted foot ball under his left arm, said left arm being covered with little pink ribbons which were the height of fashion somewhere, only we don't know where. Tasteful garter around the knees of the player completed the en.

.

Hanky Dropping Game Postponed The annual Loyola Drop-the-

Handkerchief

tournament

was

postponed indefinitely this

week

when it was learned that Herman star dropper of handkerchiefs would be out of the

University Adds

320 LB. POLICEMAN WINS IN FOOTRACE WITH 'TOP' Emmett Toppino, speed marchant of the 1931 Loyola track squad and present holder of the national sprint crown, having tied the world record for the 60-yard dash six times this season was caught after a footrace through the New Orleans business section with a 320 pound policeman. The chase led through Woolworths, Holmes and the United Cigar Store at Canal and Baronne streets where the Loyola speed demon was finally apprehended. charged with Toppino was

Hop-Scotchers to Sports List

sports

Wiggins was reputed to be on

win

i~

u

will make it renowned in the world for the glory of its 'Hop-Scotchers' and for tiddling of the its 'Tiddlers". Such was the statement issued by Larry Babst, captain of the Hop~"—-

Scotch which was

"speeding."

Jump team

Babst

"Saxy" Joe Wheeler, captain of the 1932 tiddlewinks team announced today that there would be practice every day for the buttoners from now until the beginning of the regular season in May. Candidates for the teams will report to captain Wheeler in the gym at four o'clock this afternoon. Some of the children who have already filed their applications for positions are Bob Sarpy, Bill Dardis, Blaise Salatich and Bush Briere.

which

distinguished itself for its ability to jump board, lodging and other

bills. They had been famed far and wide for the manner in which

they managed to jump a town after they had been threatened to be dismissed by the town offiLarry stated that the new sport had been taken up for two reasons, both of which are embodied in its name. First of all the hop will replace the jump which was the chief characteristic of the former broad jump team. Secondly the Scotch in the name is indicative of the depression under which the whole country is laboring at the present time.

Wheeler Lucas, who made AilAmerican forward on the Moron's mythical honorary team last year did not report for practice on the first day because his eyes were Great surprise was manifested bothering him. He claimed to have at Babst's election to the post of spots before the eyes. captain for it was stated that if he ever came to any Scotch "Will Bill Flynn call RA. 2119. There certainly wouldn't hop it. box there for him."

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entire team suffered hay fever from this underhanded, dastardly trick and they too have withdrawn from the tournament.

winner of the event. He sailed so fast that he was unable to stop at the finish line and only yesterday was he located, speeding through the main bayou of Houma with the Mayor attempting to arrest him for speeding. The closing events were the hit and skip matches. The Loyola representatives, Flynn brothers, Inc., Beeson, The Terrible Terror Byrnes and 3578 more were disqualified when they forgot to skip after hitting their opponent. The carnival was brought to a close when some ambitious athlete mistook "Benny" di Benedetto, of the S. A. A. U., for a tackling dummy and speared him with a javelin. Benny, growing mad, dispersed the carnival.

THOMS-mSTERER DENTAL SUPPLY CO., INC. EVERYTHING IN DENTAL SUPPLIES

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Here are the straws style-appreciative young

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game.

The senior Pharmacists who were runners up last year in the

"Will Bill Flynn call RA. is a box there for him."

2119.

There

re-

the university. This activity has taken the place of the Broad

Wheeler Issues Call for New Tiddlewinkers

an eighteen day diet and strenuous

team

cently formed at

Wiggins,

tourney.

wni(-ii

name of the university and which

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7

THE MORON, APRIL FOOL, 1932

Zeldens Quint in Hard Game with Incurables Monk

Zelden's championship

quintet added to their laurels when they defeated the Home for Incurables last night in a hard fought game at the

Loyola gymnasium.

The score was 24-23. Displaying a beautiful

offense

phenomenal floor work the champs easily led the Incurables at the holf 13-0. Henry "Dunk" Beter, star Zelden with

their

DENTAL SENIORS ON MARK AT EGG HUNT

t

j

coupled

forward, led the scorers by caging 16 of his team's 24 points.

Only Four Fatalities On This Year's Annual Egg Hunt

Johnny Stumpf, Loyola guard, was injured in the second half

when one

of the

Incurables de-

tached his wooden arm and while

.

.

as usual Feibleman leads the way.

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Affiliated with SEARS,ROEBUCKfCOt

Tim Duggan is Named Leading American Jockey

The nounced

Athletic

Council

an-

the

folowing attraction as a feature of the next gala Athletic meet at Loyola Stadium. They stated that they have secur* ed the principals in this battle at great expense, and with no little persuasion.

The event is a double boxing

match,

and it is expected to at-

tract great attention. posted read

The bills

as follows:

THE BATTLE OF THE Duggan, star Tim booter of the Three I Stable, and the most sensational rider at the Fair Grounds during the past meeting, was declared champeen rider of America last week when final totals came in from headquarters of the American Turf Association. Young Duggan, who is a mere mite of a lad, pushed home 153 winners during the year, placed r>U, showed 50, and was unplaced 102 times. His ability to race his horse to the front, and to keep in reserve enough for the stretch run, brought him many winners. Young Duggan has had considdifficulty keeping erable his weight up to the 97 pounds which is his best condition. But in recent months he has had an extra helping of carrots and pickles at "Ma" Ferguson"s table and has now brought his weight up to 101 lbs. which will make him considerably stronger for the summer camJockey

CENTURY FEROCIOUS FRANKENSTEIN (the Foolish Flatfoot) vs.

DEADLY DRACULA Silly Sucker)

(The

Frankenstein weighed in at 180 pounds and two left feet. Dracula

Led by Dean John J. (JJ to you) Grasiser, pharmacy head [the faculty of the [Loyola University of 'the South was host to the entire student body of the university when they inGrasaer ougurated an Easter Egg Hunt on the campus last Saturday. The hunt was given in apreciation of the students actions when it was learned that classes would be held in Bay St. Louis on Easter Sunday in order to give those students going to the Bay for Easter vacations a chance to make up some of their back work. The entire student body agreed that this move was one of the greatest ever adopted by the faculty of any university. The Loyola Student Council adopted a resolution declaring a holiday for the faculty because they had been so considerate of the student body. The holiday will be taken on July A it was announced today by John V. Connor, head of the school of Commerce and Finance. C. V. Vignes, D.D.S., Hon. William H. Byrnes Jr., Albin P. and Dean Dansereau, D.D.S. Crasser headed the reception committee that ran off the hunt in orderly fashion. Due to their efforts and watchfulness there were only a few casualties. Only four of these casaulties were fatal. The deceased are: Bill Gruber, dead from the neck up anyway. John Oulliber, who found the greatest number of eggs and was murdered because he hadn't paid his penny admission.

the silly sucker, weighed in at 180 pounds, and a pain in the neck. My friends, they are almost human. Frankenstein anounced that he will pit his tongue-tied terrifying tremble against Dracula's left bicuspid. Spectators are requested to leave the first five rows vacant, and the management states that they are not responsible for blood stained clothing. In the semi-final Martin Luther, the Thesis Tackling Terror, will meet Henry VIII, the Dynamic Divorcer. It was also announced that between the fights, Caesar will do his black bottom specialty Rene F. Fransen, who wouldn't with Cleopatra's Asp. It. was announced that Mr Jack Grant, who didn't know paign at Belmont. Hyde will act as referee, and Dr. what it was all about. It has been consistently rumor- Jekyll as timer. In the event of The other minor injuries sused that Duggan is the same Dug- rain, the bouts will be held in the tained by members participating gan who was several years ago Rue Morgue. in the good clean fun were: Geno registered at a New Orleans Uniof the i Ancornn concussion

versity.

Jonathan Mulronney, chairman of the Amercan Turf Association, has requested Tim to pose for the permanent jockey trophy, since Duggan is generally regarded as having the most graceful lines, and trimest figure of any of the American riders. Club Foot

Voohries: You are

incorectly named Circulation Manager for theirs no circulation

REICKE EMERGES VICTOR brain. Kent Barber, gashes about IN ANNUAL DICE GAME the head and body. Joseph S.

struck by flying glass. . Barrois, dice game of the i James E. Beeson, punch drunk, pharmacy department was held Emmet J. Benit, shaved head. last Wednesday in Doc Grasser's gestion. Neomie E. (Ethelred) office, with Roy Reicke emerging ; Salatich, peroxide poisoning. Jacob Amato the violent vioas winner after a heated session. Reickie's partner, Joe Fazzio in linist, was declared winner after the north, held the high cards and the death of Oulliber. Officials a razor throughout. Dean Grasser believed Amato had something to acted as referee, and presented do with Oulliber's demise. He was medals to the winner. Reicke's later exonerated when he proved skill in rolling pills as well as his that he had really had a violin The annual

'

and

Here may be found straws of every description at prices to fit the budget or allowance of any collegian. Yacht shapes and .

Frank' stein Will Battle Dracula at Athletic Meet

I

STRAW HATS ARE HERE

I

j

the referee was not looking banged Johnny over the head. "Broken Nose" Jarreau played the best ball for the losers. He was adept at skimming over the floor in his new red wheel chair powered by electricity that gave the enemy the shock of their lives; whenever they came into contact with it. "Horse Face" Huberwald, star guard for the home team, played a wonderful game from his regular horizontal position.

of the blood in your brain, and without circulation their AINT razor were the deciding factors no brain. in the contest.

i


8

THE MORON, APRIL FOOL, 1932

'Mourning Becomes Electra' Orgy

The Loyola Thespians and the Loyola Auxiliary to the Female Students of Straight College presented to an enthusiastic crowd last Friday night in Marquette Auditorium Eugene O'Neill's nine-act slapstick comedy, "Mourning Becomes Electra." The audience was composed almost entirely of illustrious students of Loyola, including Thelma Todd, Edmond Merilh, Julia Espenan, and her husband, Mahatma Gandhi, Huey P. Long and Charley Chase. "Morning Becomes Electric' will

shock you.

It is the dawn of in literature. It is pestiferous production, played b pestiferous players. It concern the story of the Mannons of th desert. Mrs. Mannon, who alway eats her meals in coffins, wa realistically by Alici played Jiminez. The romantic leads wer amply taken care of by Jan Seymour and Edward Lucas, in a long purple mustache. Other players included Marguerite Crozat as the stable boy, Amelie Buchmann as a jockey, and T. R. Roy as the horse. age

new

While still in her clutches his wife (Paul Bailey) runs away with Bront Bones, played by Mrs. Lena Marcy. Then his wife chokes on a frog leg,

they all

so

jump in

falls were represented by pouring coca-cola over the prostrate form of L. Todd. The intermission between the fifth and sixth acts was given so Falls.

Niagara

The

that the students and faculty, after seeing half of this debauch, could find solace at Betty's. This fortified them for the series of acts to come.

The play was so well received that the players will go on the road, visiting such large cities as Bucktown, Kenner and Harahan. This will require a week's absence from *class, but who cares? played by Eddie Flynn. The next Thespian play will be

The story concerns a civil war veteran who leaves the Richmond and, on his way to his in Boston, stops in New nd falls in love with Texas

Esld ,

TEXAS RANCH WINS CLEANLINESS AWARD

Freshmen Will Fete Sophs With Annual Brawl Dance

Texas Ranch, Loyola student stable, was recently awarded the accordance with an annual custom, and prompted by Woman's Home Companion prize reat affection for their upper classmates, the freshmen for the cleanest and best kept school dormitory in the United of 1932 has arranged to entertain the sophomores with States. Texas Ranch was also en- a dance, which will be given at the TIP TOP Room of the dorsed by Good Housekeeping and Rooevelt Hotel on April 31. the United States Board of Health. Elaborate plans have been formulated by the commitAndrew Giordano was awarded the tee, which promises a treat in store for all those fortunate neatest individual prize for the room. Giordano's stall was made enough to be invited. beautiful by his aesthetic taste in Freshmen Koorie and Landeche have been appointed art (which he cut out of Ballyhoo) sad the committee of entertainmnt. They are supported and the bowl of pansies which reshmen Matassa, Genard, Sambola and Kaack. were always on the dressing table n interesting affair of the in his boudoir. g was the delightful Social \ Handwriting: on the Wall"—was e and Tea, given at the Gothic cleverly carried out in the decoraHIDE AND SEEKERS Tea Room by Messrs. Tim O'Brien tions. Mark Malloy, president of BEGIN REHEARSALS and Jake Amato. The party was the S. A. K.'s acted as master of in honor of and for raising ceremonies. given Members of the Loyola Hide funds to send these celebrites to and Seek team were working hard school. this week to be in condition for dancing Aesthetic Gathering The tables were pretily decothe long schedule that faces them Les Petite Mignonettes, local rated with Easter lilies and cacti next September. Johnny Hunter, and the whole effect was carried pride, No. 1, held its weekly meetcaptain of the Hiders stated that out in baby blue and pink. Mr. ing and recitation on the first of he joined the Loyola aggregation O'Brien Recitation, wore a striking ensemble May in Audubon Park. because he was tired of hiding in Pansy" by Wild J. Arthur "To a ling brass knucks, and Mr. the Gothic Tea Room trying to o was dressed in baby blue Charbonnet, and a Terpsichorian beat his bill. Marion Peyton, anWheeler Lucas and nas with tuelle ruffling with dance by other star Seeker, Leon Galatoire s of black around the eyes. Junior Lopez furnished entertainand "Buck" Gallagher were also ment for the numerous members. is of black were observed beout for rehearsal yesterday afterhis ears and especially under This society, founded for the noon. inger nails. fostering of daisy beds, has done much work in their particular field. In order to raise funds, a WOOF-WOOF Social Function suggestion entertained has been presented by K. fraternity Many reasons have been given Sears and Roebuck Library [ president Kalil Sliman wherefor adopting the Wolf as the symg the past week. The motto by the members will sell cologne fraternity-"Beware the in small bottles to the students. bol of the university, but all are le false. The real i-eason is because the Wolf was at the door of the University so long that they decided to take him in and make a pet out of him.

■n

I

I

lA.

"I WANT TO BE THRILLED" the caverns of the city echo ~

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"IMPATIENT MAIDEN" LEW AYRES MAE CLARKE Andy Devine Una Merkel John Holliday Vaudeville RKO POP CAMERON Invites You to Meet the Family CLYDE HAGER FERRY CORWEY ROBINSON & DE WITT RKO

JEAN HARLOW WALTER HUSTON Jean Hersholt Wallace Ford

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"Will Bill Flynn call RA. box there for him."

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Maurice Chevalier at Saenger in Newest Hit Maurice

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newest, snappiest, funniest picture —"One Hour With You," starting Thursday, March 31st at the Saenger Theatre. Jeanette MacDonald, one of the screen's leading actress-singerbeauties, plays the leading feminine role in Chevalier's latest h:t, as she did in "Th« Love Parade." Miss MacDonald is one of the few really beautiful actresses who can claim such a beautiful singing voice. She is seen at her best in "One Hour With You." There is just enough singing in the picture to accentuate the action of the picture. The songs a-e natural and an integral part of the story and they fit in perfectly with the situations and conversation.

A New Suit! A New Hat! Some New Accessories— a

good Spring tonic

Mayer Israel's m

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Bob Ainsworth's successful drama,

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"Daddy Long Legs."

LOEWS STATE A power-drunk demon who climbed to the hetights only to find that "crime does not and never will pay" "S C A R F A C E" With PAUL MUNI ANN DVORAK OSGOOD PERKINS KAREN MORLEY BORIS "Frankenstein" KARLOFF ON THE STAGE -:-

-:-

It's Time To

_„...

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Morning Tribune Story _

The Dare Girl The Doctor—

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Loew's Vaudeville Revue MODERN MINSTREL Blackface Jamboree Featuring TYLER MASON "Singing Thru Dark Momens"

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GLUCK'S RESTAURANTS Five good places to eat: 124 Royal Street

538 Canal Street 1115 Canal Street 208 St. Charles Street 437 St. Charles Street

Even fAe Dairyman's Children Can Have No Better Milk Than Your Children Your family could enjoy no hotter milk even if they lived on a farm. Every drop of our milk that is set before your door contains all the richness, purity and strength of fresh, NATURAL MILK from the finest herd. It is brought to you in sanitary, germ-proof bottles, carefully tested and guarded, and with all of its original nourishment and taste. Make sure you serve, only this purest brand.

Phone Your Order Today

Quality

Phone WAlnut 3689

Natural Milk

"for those who want the best"

GODCHAUX'S BELLE POINT MILK, INC.

SOLE DISTRIBUTORS: Phone WAlnut 3689 3143 Calhoun Street


Sehrt Weds Taxi Dancer - 1932