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Leg’go of your other plans, block out time to see this movie Page 6

Duhawks’ season comes to a close after facing Luther Page 12 February 27, 2014 — Vol. 92, Issue 9

Students upstage expectations by MARY AGNOLI | co-executive editor

Thirteen students spent the night in Hoffmann Hall last Friday creating three original one-act plays. The 24-Hour Theater Project, sponsored by the Guild of St. Genesius, challenges participants to use the right side of their brain in an exercise that requires quick thinking and creative capacities. Participants formed three separate teams and were given a prop, a setting, a character and a stack of newspapers on which they based their script. The next 24 hours were spent in Hoffmann classrooms, racing against the clock. “It’s the best way to get creativity flowing,” said junior Colin Halbmaier, the secretary and treasurer for the Guild of St. Genesius. “Nothing gets you motivated quite like a deadline. It’s incredible what you can do in 24 hours when you focus.”

The performances of the three groups support this. Topics included a murder mystery in a secluded cabin, a newlywed game show, and a quest by the homeless for a place to live. A panel of judges offered comments on the performances and rated their use of what they were given. Despite the sheer fun of the process, the event also served as a fundraiser for the St. Stephen Food Pantry. Not only were nonperishable food items collected as admittance to the show, but the audience casted votes for their favorite team with loose change, which was also donated to the Pantry. Over one-hundred dollars was raised, in addition to the food. Now with the 24-Hour Theater Project behind them, the Loras Players now are looking forward to their next major event, DuProv, on March 21.

Loras will host a free series of presentation about the contemporary Irish Catholic Church photo by COLIN HALBMAIER

Active Loras Players, Luis Santoyo, Stephanie Benic, Michael Okas and Emma Horst pose with their assigned prop for their production during a long night locked in Hoffmann Hall.

Renowned author sheds light on Church’s ‘time of transition’ by HANNAH WAY


executive copy editor

In a world which seems to value technology, science, and progress above all else, many Catholic Christians are becoming more and more concerned with the role that faith will play in modern culture. On Tuesday, Loras brought to campus one of the greatest observers of the global Catholic Church today in order to address this specific question along with offer insight into the development of the modern Church. George Weigel, a distinguished senior fellow of the Ethics and Public Policy Center as well as a New York Times bestselling author, has spent much of his career chronicling the Church in novels, essays, and articles. Perhaps best known for his authoritative and comprehensive book, Witness to Hope: The Biography of Pope John Paul II, Weigel has become a distinctive and well respected voice in both religious circles as well as contemporary media. As a part of Loras’ 175th anniversary, Weigel offered a free lecture and book signing where he primarily focused on his latest book “Evangelical Catholicism: Deep Reform in the 21st Century Church.” The well-attended lecture brought faculty, staff, students as well as community members together with the intention of engaging this relevant and important topic. “We are being asked to reach back into history, to recover the originating, missionary, evangelical impulse of the church and to put that at the center of Catholic identity today,” said Weigel. “We thought the Church of our grandparents was unchangeable. The church was just the way it was. It was set in concrete. But we have learned in the past 50 years that this wasn’t the case. We live, my dears, in a time of transition.” His lecture focused on unpacking this idea of a Church encountering transition and transforming into a Church of the 21st century. Beginning by placing the Church in the context of the last 200 years, his lecture culminated with his emphasis of the importance of the pontificate of John Paul II and his call to the new evangelization. “If we are going to be the kind of missionary disciples who can bring the world to Christ, we are going to have to be a people who know the answers, who understand the symphony of how Catholic truth plays together,” said Weigel. “That

Learn about the Catholic Church in Ireland


Renowned author George Weigel discussed his latest books, “Evangelical Catholicism: Deep Reform in the 21st Century Church” and “Roman Pilgrimage: The Station Churches” during Tuesday’s lecture. requires continuous learning, continuous study, and a thirst. Religion class is never over, and it shouldn’t be because that extraordinary symphony of catholic truth is something we should more deeply and more broadly be in touch with our entire lives.” At the closing of his lecture, Weigel reflected specifically on Loras and the role it plays in helping the Church encounter the modern world. Drawing upon the 175 years of tradition, he recognized the changes that the school has witnessed and encountered. Still, he pointed to the fact that Loras, and schools around the country, still have an important job in modern culture. “Catholic institutions of higher learning have an important role to play in this conversion,” said Weigel. “They are a kind of safe deposit box for Western civilization. But we aren’t just saving it to save it. We are saving it to form young people to go out and transform their world.” The lecture, which was followed by a Q&A session and the book-signing, was well received by the diverse crowd. “I appreciated the emphasis Weigel gave to the fact that the Church responds to the historical context in which it finds itself,” said Amanda Osheim, professor of

religious studies. “He drew on the need to ground ourselves in a Church united together in Christ, but also what it means to invite others into Christ and the need to respond to the needs of the times.’ In addition to offering the free lecture in the evening, Weigel spent his day on campus, including spending the lunch hour with a small group of students and faculty. The discussion centered on many of the same topics of his evening lecture. “We got to ask him questions relating to modern day Catholicism and what the Church is doing to counteract these problems,” said first-year Allison Klimesh. “Learning about Catholicism here at Loras has been transformative, and relating that back to my own life has allowed me to grow, but it is totally different when you learn about it on a global level. It definitely added perspective.” Ultimately, what Weigel ended his evening with was the challenge to embrace the mission of the Church, the “Great Commission” to bring Christ to the world. “Mission territory is not out there,” said Weigel. “Mission territory is right here: our neighborhoods, our lives as friends, colleagues, business associates. All that is mission territory.”

Loras College is hosting a free series of presentations and discussions examining the contemporary Irish Catholic Church Friday, March 28 and Saturday, March 29. Split into four unique sessions, The Catholic Church in Ireland Today symposium will include experts from Ireland, the United States and Canada. This event will take place in the Marie Graber Ballroom within the Alumni Campus Center. “Given the extent and speed of changes to the Catholic Church in Ireland during the past decade, it’s surprising that there have been so few opportunities in the United States to meet and discuss what has transpired. This gathering is unique: not only is it timely, it is designed to reach a very wide audience. Our speakers are here to share their knowledge but also to stimulate conversation and promote discussion,” said John Waldmeir, Ph.D., Loras College associate professor of religious studies and a symposium co-organizer and speaker. The keynote session will feature two of Ireland’s foremost experts on contemporary Catholicism: Eamon Maher, Ph.D., director of the National Centre for Franco-Irish Studies at ITT Dublin, author of The Church and its Spire: John McGahern and the Catholic Question; and John Littleton, director of The Priory Institute, Dublin, The Catholic Times weekly columnist and author of Encountering God and Discovering Our True Identity and The Fulfillment of God’s Saving Promise. Maher and Littleton are authors/editors of: Irish and Catholic? Towards an Understanding of Identity; The Dublin/Murphy Report: A Watershed for Irish Catholicism; What Being Catholic Means to Me; and Contemporary Catholicism in Ireland. “Eamon Maher and John Littleton are two of Ireland’s best known and most influential commentators on Irish Catholicism. The series of books they have edited over the last decade there have helped shape their country’s conversation on the state of the Church and its future in Ireland. We are very fortunate to have them headlining this event at Loras College,” said David Cochran, Ph.D., professor of politics and symposium co-organizer. The subsequent sessions will include presentations on growing Irish secularism, the changing image of Irish bishops, generational divides in the Church, Catholic migrants to Ireland, the abuse crisis and responses in Ireland and the U.S., Irish missionaries, the political role of Irish priests, the Dublin Eucharistic Congress, contemplative strands in Irish identity and more.



The Lorian Feb. 27, 2014

FOCUS offers 5 seniors positions as missionaries in its program 4 have committed to program for 2 years and will receive placements this summer by HANNAH WAY | executive copy editor

Meet Board of Regents member Troy Cicero


I knew going into the weekend that each one of them had a The Spring semester brings with it added pressures for seniors who are trying to good chance at getting an offer,” said Novak. “In my mind plan what comes next. But for some sebefore the interview weekend, I thought they were all strong niors, the traditional plan to enter the job candidates and would make great missionaries because each one of force is not the immediate next step after graduation. them has demonstrated Christ-like leadership Recently, five seniors took part in a in multiple ways on campus. weekend-long interview process with the Craig Novak hope of being offered a position with the a FOCUS missionary at Loras Fellowship of Catholic University Students, or FOCUS. At stake in the interview process was a potential offer for each of them to become a FOthey were all strong “As missionaries, we try to CUS missionary, to be placed at candidates and would carry out this vision on campus a college or university across the make great missionarby one-on-one mentorships country. ies because each one of and personal investment in “The weekend is really set up to them has demonstrated the lives of the students, leadhelp the applicants discern where Christ-like leadership ing small-group Bible studies, they are called in the mission of in multiple ways on and large group outreach such the Church,” said Craig Novak, campus.” as hosting events, retreats, and a FOCUS missionary at Loras. Each of the seniors conferences,” said Novak. “As “Whether that is as a missionary who accepted positions I strive to be a saint and living or elsewhere, it’s meant to help with FOCUS have been witness by modeling my own in each individual’s discernment Teresa Gwardys a part of the organizalife as closely as I can after Joel Pohland process of answering the question on campus and Christ, I am hoping to pass this tion of, ‘If I am not called to be been drawn to its goal: along to the students in which a missionary with FOCUS, then “to launch college stuthey might in turn ‘teach othwhere will I serve?’” dents into lifelong ers also,’ not only now, but for All five students were offered Catholic mission.” the rest of their lives.” positions despite the large num“FOCUS has Ultimately, it is this desire ber of applicants from students changed my life in a to share the faith which led nationwide. Of the five, four very drastic way and each of the Loras students to have made commitments to volI am so grateful,” said pursue a future with FOCUS. unteer with the organization for Mantyh. “I have seen “I love my faith; I love other the next two years, and to accept it do a lot of good on people,” said Gwardys. “I hope placement at a designated school the Loras campus. The to share my faith with others to be assigned over the summer: Catholic faith and com- Kate Mantyh so that the joy I’ve been blessBen Berning Teresa Gwardys, Joel Pohland, munity is beginning to ed with as well as the consolaBen Berning, and Kate Mantyh. truly thrive. In addition, it has brought a tions I receive in times of hardship can be “I knew going into the weekend that lot of joy and God’s love on campus.” shared with others. I think one of the best each one of them had a good chance at At the heart of the FOCUS missionary’s things about FOCUS is that it allows others getting an offer,” said Novak. “In my mind role is to be a Catholic presence on campus to come to Christ exactly where they’re at before the interview weekend, I thought and to reach out to students.” in life.”


by LAUREN PETERMAN | staff writer

Troy Cicero has served as a member of the Board of Regents since October 2009 after having been on the National Alumni Board for four years. Cicero came to Loras from urban Connecticut and graduated in 1984 with a degree in marketing. “[Loras]…provided me with opportunities to have a successful career in leadership,” said Cicero. “It defined the next level of my identity.” In 1994, he founded MulticultuReal Communications, Inc. in New Lenox, Illinois where he currently serves as the president and chief skill officer. He focuses on seven areas: diversity and inclusion, leadership and development, conflict resolution, team building, service excellence, stress management, motivational speaking, and bullying prevention. As a member of the Board of Regents, Cicero has a passion for making a difference. “Our goal is to establish vision for the university,” he said, “and to bring our talents, time, and our treasure for the purpose of world class education for Loras students. We try to give them an experience that makes their parents proud and to really bring substance to the mission and values of Loras.”


Mahone featured at Loras by ANDREA BERNS | staff writer

Singer/songwriter Jared Mahone performed for Loras students in the Pub at 8 p.m. last Friday night, Feb. 21. Not only did he play original music, but he entertained the crowd with humor, beatboxing, and backstories to each song he presented while throwing in tidbits of inspirational wisdom. His band won the Verizon Indie Icon competition in June 2013 against 2500 other bands and then was asked to perform on the Katie Couric show last November. Mahone grew up in a musical family from Columbus, OH, that traveled in a bus that toured the country performing independent music. “I grew up where it was normal to learn an instrument, sing a song, write music or sing on stage,” Mahone said. “I didn’t realize it was special until much later. I just thought it was what people did.” He has been inspired by artists such as Stevie Wonder and Bill Withers. “Most of what I was inspired by growing up was anything that was black culture music,” he said. “R&B, Hip Hop, soul, throwback stuff — it feels real to me.” In terms of his lyrics, he is inspired by life experiences. One of the most popular songs of the night was entitled “From: Joe To: Betsy,” which is written as a letter Mahone imagines his wife’s grandfather Joe writing to her grandmother Betsy, who

had passed away a few years before. In the song, Joe calls Betsy “wild and wonderful,” which is the slogan of the state they were from, West Virginia. “I try to be an observer of life,” said Mahone. “Any writer or any creative person is. We are the sum of our parts. We breathe in our surroundings, the stuff we see, the stuff we feel, and we exhale our interpretation.” The performance was very well-received by the audience. “I thought it was really relaxing music, but he also kept us invested because he shared stories in between his songs,” said senior Teresa Gwardys. “His ending beatboxing performance was phenomenal and completely unexpected.” “He was a lot like John Mayer,” said senior Jenna Adams. “He was very good. I was happily surprised.” It was a consensus that this CAB event was successful. “I wish more students would go to CAB events,” Gwardys continues. “They do such a good job of bringing in quality entertainment.” Megan O’Neill, senior CAB executive, would like to invite all Loras students to the upcoming CAB events, which take place this Siblings Weekend. The weekend includes a craft/movie night, the Fun Fair, a performance by magician Peter Boie, and more.

Three Loras students pose with Jared Mahone after his performance in the Pub. photo CONTRIBUTED BY CAB

Friday, February 28th Movie Night from 7:00-9:00PM in Beckman Hall Saturday, March 1st Fun Fair in the ACC Ballrooms from 10:00AM-12:00PM Open Gym from 1:00-4:00PM in the Fieldhouse Magician Peter Boie in the ACC Ballrooms at 7:00PM Sunday, March 2nd Siblings Weekend Mass at Christ the King Chapel at 10:00AM

Anyone is welcome to participate, even those without siblings visiting!

The Lorian

Feb. 27, 2014


RecycleMania 2014 the containers that are placed in recycling by CASSANDRA BUSCH | news editor should be rinsed clean before placing in the Students will have extra motivation container. However, materials such as glass to recycle from Feb. 2 to Mar. 29. Recyshould not be recycled. cleMania 2014 is coming to campus, and Over the eight weeks that the competition will provide incentive by the form of comwill occur, participating schools will record petition against other college campuses to go green. RecycleMania, a non-profit the amounts that they recycle and how much trash is collected each week. RecycleMania organization, is headed by a Board of Diwill rank them in multiple categories, such rectors comprised of university sustainability managers from across the country. as best recycling rate in regards to the percentage of total waste, which school recyThe organization works alongside Keep cles the most per capita, and which school America Beautiful and WasteWise to proends up with the least amount of combined mote clean living and recycling. Loras has trash and recycling. Participants will be able participated in the competition in past to track their rankings on RecycleMania’s years as well. Loras will be competing against more website. The winning school from each catthan 500 colleges that are also taking part egory will be presented an award made from in the RecycleMania competition. To win recyclable material. One of the biggest components of the the RecycleMania tournament, students competition at Loras is the residence halls. have to reduce, reuse and recycle more There will be a mini competition between than the other participating schools. “The RecycleMania campaign has the halls to see which one can recycle the most, out of the total percentage of discardproven to make a direct impact on participating college campuses. Over half of ed material. The hall that ends up recycling the most will be awarded an the campuses surveyed in ice cream social. Students also any given year report a nocan partake in the competition Loras will be table increase in recycling by recycling in the academic after participating in Recycompeting buildings. cleMania,” according to the In addition, tonight at the program’s website. against more womens’ basketball game, Loras has participated in volunteers will be standing by the competition in the past, than 500 colrecycle bins in the gym, enand typically finishes in the couraging recycling. At the end leges that are middle of the pack. of the night they will collect the “Visually we want to do also taking recycling from the bins, and better in terms of numalso gather any recyclable items bers than we have done in part in the that are left in the bleachers. the past, in comparison to Volunteers did this at the last other schools. We mainly RecycleMania home basketball game against want to beat ourselves,” Simpson, and two-thirds of competition. said senior Ellen Fuller, the recyclable items that they one of the student workers collected had not been thrown for the Solid Waste Educaaway in bins, but rather left in the bleachers tion Office at Loras. or thrown away in the trash bins. Four campus organizations are teamStudents have another chance to help ing up with the RecycleMania campaign the sustainability cause on Mar. 13, when to institute the green changes at Loras: the residence halls will be providing door Solid Waste Education Office, Loras Endecorations to be decorated by students to vironment Action Forum (L.E.A.F.), Lorpromote recycling. as Sustainability Committee, and Peace If students are interested in finding out and Justice. These groups will help to more about how they can help Loras’ efforts encourage students to recycle materials in RecycleMania or in the competition itself, such as paper products, magazines, catthey can visit the organization’s website at alogs, newspapers, junk mail, envelopes, or contact the Soltext books, paper bags, cereal boxes, id Waste Education Office. cardboard, metal cans, jar lids, etc. All of


The Lorian


Feb. 27, 2014

Russia’s economic interests stir Ukraine’s unrest F

rom the outside, the political unrest in Ukraine seems to be settling: President Viktor Yanukovych has been formally impeached and criminal cases opened. Most importantly, as many legislative representatives who Dale Elenteny aligned themselves with President Yanukovych and against the protesters fled or defected, the balance of power in the Verkhovna Rada (“Supreme Council”/ Ukrainian parliament) shifted. Those supportive of the protesters, once able to fulfill the quorum, passed a series of laws addressing both the causes and responses to the “Euromaidan” (the protests’ collective name – think “Arab Spring”), and are using the extent of their legal and political muscle to reshape the government. The most substantive move thus far (which could very well change by the time you’re reading this) has been the restoration of a series of constitutional amendments, originally passed in 2004, which inhibit the executive powers of the president in favor of parliamentary authority. In September 2010, the Constitutional Court declared the reforms unconstitutional – following the resignations of four of its eighteen judges. Doing so pushed the powers,


the most important of which being European Union – the protests began appointment of the prime minister, when Yanukovych declined to sign back towards Yanukovych. Six months an international treaty which would prior, in the wake of his election, Yulia progress free trade and cooperation Tymoshenko, then prime minister and towards the E.U. and away from opposition member, had resigned. When Russia. Last fall, while the deal was the polls had closed and results of the still being negotiated, Russia placed election were finalized, she stated – a customs block on all goods from apparently with some clairvoyance – that Ukraine, effectively threatening a support of opposition of Yanukovych trade war. In 2009, Russia’s statecould be generalized into “who values the owned Gazprom shut off service to preservation of Ukraine’s independence Ukraine (and consequently most of and self-identity and southeastern Europe), who does not” (Kyiv demanding repayment The influence Post, Feb. 25, 2010). for back debts. The final that Russia has In 2011, Tymoshenko negotiation would be the was indicted, tried, and basis of Tymoshenko’s exhibited over convicted for abuse trial. Regardless, in April the Ukrainian of power. The deal 2010, about a month government is she had struck with after Timoshenko’s Vladmir Putin in 2009, resignation, Yanukovych exemplary of the dissipating a thirteensigned the Kharkiv Pact, danger presented day long Russian freeze allowing Russian naval when corporate on natural gas sales, access to Ukraine’s was deemed to be both primary Black Sea port, and public interests corrupt and outside of Sevastopol, until 2042. are blended. Ukraine’s best interests – Ukraine, in turn, would Yanukovych testified for have a discounted the state. Tymoshenko’s contract on natural gas. release from prison was passed by the On November 21, Yanukovych officially remaining members of parliament on walked away from the trade agreement February 21st. with the E.U., inciting the protests. Her questions about national integrity Tymoshenko and Yanukovych personify were based in Ukraine’s fundamental the two paths Ukraine is presented divergence in economics and politics with – one towards the NATO and the between European integration and European Union, another towards alignment with Russia. Popular support Russia. is continuing to lean towards the What should international eyes take

Football players nervous about a gay player? Hmmm


ports news has been swirling over the coming out of defensive lineman Michael Sam. The debate seems to have focused on whether Michael Sam’s sexual orientation will have a detrimental effect on his ability to be selected by NFL teams. The concern for many is Brett Robbins that teams will be turned off by the idea of having a gay player. Apparently sharing a locker room with a gay man is far too petrifying for a robust, domineering heterosexual football player to tolerate. My response to this fear is a simple observation. For all of those heterosexual sports players who cherish their participation in sports as the pinnacle representation of their strength and masculinity, have you ever truly dissected the nature of sports and noticed its gay implications? Start by analyzing the basic gender composition of sporting activities. The male-only and female-only gender separation speaks more towards homosexual interests than heterosexual. Who other than gay men would want all the women removed from the sports team? Surely a truly heterosexual player would want as many women near him as possible. Continuing on, what does this male-only sports team do on the football field? They get dirty together.


For all of those heterosexual sports players who cherish their participation in sports as the pinnacle representation of their strength and masculinity, have you ever truly dissected the nature of sports and noticed its gay implications? They roll, tackle, press their shoulders and chests against one another, and wrestle each other to the ground in a fiery passion. Of course, there’s nothing gay about that … Lastly, to end the day, the football players conclude their practice by stripping down and having a nice, communal showering experience with their sweaty boy-friends … But yes, a gay player is definitely the greatest threat to the heterosexuality of male sports players. This is obviously a playful distortion of the sporting experience, but it’s a nugget of information worth reflecting over if gay sports players are on your list of concerns. Football is a sport characterized by beefy men tackling, bumping, grabbing, rolling and manhandling each other to the ground. It’s male-on-male action from beginning to end. If saving the heterosexuality of football is your mission, gay players are the least of your problems.

Letters to the editor are welcomed Do you have an opinion on something and want to write a “letter to the editor?” Do you have more questions about an article you read? Corrections or clarifications? A differing opinion about an issue brought up that you want to be heard? We want your input. It’s not just the writers for the Lorian that have print-worthy material; you do, too. To submit a “letter to the editor,” please e-mail us at or Also, if you or an organization you are a part of is doing something noteworthy, or wants to get news out about an upcoming event, we also accept articles from guest writers as long as we are told a few

from the Euromaidan? The most obvious lessons would be the importance of public dialogue and the quickness with which a “democratic” state can decay into a blurred space between reality and George Orwell’s imagination–but it doesn’t end there. The protests, while necessarily fighting corruption and undemocratic practices, are at the core a response to Russia’s military, political, and economic interests intersecting at the degradation of Ukraine’s national sovereignty. In 2008, before the Gazprom crisis, Ukraine shied away from NATO membership after Vladmir Putin stated that a missile defense shield would be met with a redirection of Russian weapons towards Ukraine and potential annexation of Crimea, the eastern peninsula which Sevastopol sits on. The tension is ultimately rooted in the economic interests of Russia’s corporations and the geopolitical aims of its military – the catch being that the line between the two is smudged. The influence that Russia has exhibited over the Ukrainian government is exemplary of the danger presented when corporate and public interests are blended. The situation in Ukraine hit its critical point when Yanukovych opted for back room handshakes over democratic interests– that should be pretty poignant to a country whose legislature disbursed $431 billion (Congressional Budget Office, October 2012) to purchase equity and assets from financial institutions in 2008.


Feeling that childhood nostalgia It seems to be the year of nostaliga. At the very least, the past few months have brought a wave of childhood memories for many members of our editorial staff. This movement began last November with the release of Disney’s “Frozen.” It led countless of college-age students to not only rush to the movie theater, but purchase and memorize the entire soundtrack. This movie brought back the much beloved Disney of our youth. It reminded us of the thrill we received the first time we watched Aladdin and Jasmine flying through the sky on a magic carpet, or the wonder of seeing hundreds of animals from the African safari gather for the birth announcement of one little lion as the “circle of life” rose to a climax. However, our love for “Frozen” went far beyond a reminder of our past. Even though the movie was filled with just as many magical moments as these beloved classics, it brought with it a new life and powerful messages. We’ve all seen the BuzzFeed articles posted on Facebook discussing the healthy relationships portrayed or the sense of female empowerment throughout the film. Some even argue that we catch our first glimpse at an openly gay couple in a cartoon Disney film.

The success of “The LEGO Movie” is further proof of this cultural phenomenon. Full-grown adults who played with LEGOs as a kid flocked to the movie, and left with its feel-good and imaginative message in their hearts. It builds a bridge between our youth and the youth today — a chasm that seems to be widening with each generation. The movie’s success transcends nostalgia. In a culture that wants to clean up its act but only reaches new lows, it’s refreshing to see that something so innocent beat out the sex, drugs and scandal that dominates our culture today. It’s the classic tale of the knight slaying the dragon. We want to be reconnected with that child-like wonder in all situations, no matter how hopeless the world makes them seem. It’s going to take more than a few blockbuster hits to bring about a cultural shift for the better, but it’s good to see that we’re beginning to return to the roots of our childhood happiness. Maybe we overlooked something the first time around, and now we’re scrambling to find that diamond in the rough. The answer is out there somewhere. Hang on to that innocence. It’s coming back into style. — The Lorian staff

Editorial staff co-executive editor: MARY AGNOLI co-executive editor/features editor: COLIN HALBMAIER news editor: CASSANDRA BUSCH sports editor: RYAN GRAHAM advertising manager: MICHAEL ROVANSEK executive copy editor: HANNAH WAY



The Lorian

Feb. 27, 2014


Ukrainian girl ‘heartbroken’ over suffering G

reetings once again from Lisboa, where the rain falls harder than Shaquille O’Neal shooting lay-ups in platform pumps, and the numbers on the clock and calendar all blend together. And, on this particularly rainy day I am pleased to admit that I am quite wellKalli Miner rested and happily oversocialized. While I stare contentedly out my 3rd floor window at the sail boats and cruise ships in the harbor, (or “cais” as they say here), my mind slips back to three weeks ago on a similarly rainy day when I couldn’t have been in a more contrary condition. I was in London’s Heathrow airport counting the minutes on the clock on my almost-dead cellular device, and pacing the floors as I endured my 5 hour lay-over, when it happened: I ran into (quite literally ran into!) actor Dylan McDermott (yes, of American Horror Story, or so I’ve heard). After awkward eye contact and a blushed smile, I hurriedly walked away, snapping a photo as I went of course. But, little did I know this would not even come close to the most exciting thing I’d encounter this day. Because, as I stood stark struck, a plane had touched down from Los Angeles bringing me Nadia and the rest of my company for the remainder of my short stay in London. With two more minutes of free wifi left, I got the feeling that this lay-over was going to be tough. But, as I stretched out my 14 hour-travel legs I accidentally kicked a girl sitting across from me. Being extremely eager to talk to anyone who spoke English at this point, I quickly asked her if she spoke English before I lost her gaze. She said that she did and that her name was Marea, and her giggly young guy friend next to her was Varadi Mark, or just “Mark.”


Originally from Ukraine, Nadia, a Christian missionary, participates in a vigil held in support of the “Pray for Ukraine” campaign. She urges each of us to stand with her and pray for peace in her mother country. photo by VARADI MARK

The pair explained to me that they were high school students from Budapest headed back home after a short stay in Los Angeles. Their English was decent but their accents thick, so I was relieved when their third traveling partner arrived with near perfect English and introduced herself as Nadia. Nadia was a 26-year-old woman who was

What the United States can learn from Kiev I

n the United Independence Square. Some sources States, we believe estimate that 77 people died in just 3 (in a lazy, rounddays of violence. Yanukovych has now about, vote-everyfled the country, and the Parliament 4-years way) that is preparing for a vote to form the new the power of the unity government. government comes What can we learn from Kiev? By the from the people, time you are protesting the things your and that we can government is doing, it is too late. If express our power you place all of your political power in both through the one basket, so to speak, you are giving democratic process up control over your government. Jessie Donels and by voicing People in America are content to vote our opinion in the only once every four years, and to trust public and economic spheres. We can the politicians to handle it from there. voice our angry opinions on the news, They ignore the businesses that are in on social media, or with our friends. bed with the government, and shop at If the government does something corporations that have helped fund laws that we are totally against, we can they are politically against. Passively respond immediately by protesting. If allowing the government to run without the protest is successful, it shows the your interference allows the state of government that a large section of the the nation to spiral out of control. The voting population disagrees with the way people in Ukraine were passionate about things are being done, their government, and that they need to and it was still able to Passively allowing change, preferably steamroll them. Most immediately. Americans couldn’t the government In Ukraine, the even tell you which to run without President went against state just passed a your interference a measure that 90% “Right to Discriminate” of the population law (Arizona, business allows the state of endorsed. Specifically, owners can refuse to the nation to spiral he decided to tie the serve clients without out of control. country economically fear of discrimination to Russia instead of suits if they can prove the United Nations. that their decision was Given the history of the USSR, the based in religion). Loras challenges us people were not in favor of this plan to live ethically. So read the news today. and began planning protests in Kiev, Take a look at what our government and establishing a tent-city like the famed big businesses are doing to the country. Occupy Movement. This protest was Have an opinion, and (respectfully) tolerated for a while, but as President act on it. If a government can threaten, Yanukovych refused to back down, the attack, and imprison the passionate protesters became more vocal. Harsh people of Ukraine with impunity, the laws were passed limiting the rights to passive people of the United States protest, which allowed for the police to are an opposite example, where the attack. The protesters counter-attacked, government can take equal advantage of and everything went to hell in Kiev’s our lack of interest.


born in Ukraine, but moved to California with her family when she was 12. She explained this all very casually, moving on quickly to other conversations about how different our passports looked or the wait time for their flight back to Hungary. Which got me wondering, “How did this girl end up in Hungary, anyway?”

After some uncomfortable shifts in her chair, Nadia told me that she was a Christian missionary who had been living in Hungary for almost 3 years. The group then told me about the conference they had all just attended in L.A. about Christianity around the world, how beautiful they thought the States were, and how deliciously greasy American pizza had been. But, I was dying to ask Nadia what she knew about the domestic conflicts in Ukraine. Her voice got quiet and very serious as she told me that she was ‘heartbroken’ to see the people suffering. She said that education is important to Ukrainian people, but that it is nearly useless as the country’s offered opportunities are dwindling quickly. So, she said, people are pushing for the previously Russian-owned/zoned country to join the European Union. She said that without going into major political ideology, that it would be financially and opportunistically beneficial for “the people “if the country were to join the E.U. But, with political corruption and the financial security of major state leaders at stake, a clash between classes was being waged. “Those who are more loyal to our Russian history are especially against the joining of the E.U.,” she explained. “But, it really all just comes down to money.” When we spoke that day, Nadia was planning to see family members in Ukraine but was worried about the safety of crossing borders. “We used to cross the borders into both Russia and other neighboring countries freely, but I’m unsure if that is possible now,” she said. I am happy to announce that I heard from Nadia just yesterday and she has made it successfully to Eastern Ukraine, where both her English and Hungarian language skills have come in handy! As the missionary crosses even more than geographical borders in sharing her faith with those abroad, she has asked me to have all of you join in with her to “Pray for Ukraine.”

Ukraine caught in game of international tug-of-war’


he country of Ukraine finds itself as the rope amidst the game of international tug-of-war between the West and Russia. A history marked by Soviet affiliation and a modern population inclined toward Europe helps to complicate the Ukrainian future. Now, Jack Mescher in recent weeks, we have seen the nation of Ukraine become divided against itself and fall victim to external pressures rooted in economic development. While many issues stand complicating this crisis, special consideration ought to be devoted to maintaining the international norm of state sovereignty. While varying news agencies and the U.N. have called for peacekeeping intervention, and Russia considers employing troops to protect its interests, it would appear that the integrity of Ukraine’s constitutional institutions ARE responding appropriately. The disparity between the Ukrainian populous and the Yanukovych government has been initially addressed through a unanimous parliamentary vote to remove the current administration. Some have remarked on the duty that the U.S. and others might have to respond to governments turning upon their own citizens. More importantly, though, is the fact that Ukraine itself (as the parliament) has responded. As a sovereign nation, especially as one equipped with the citizenry to hold their government accountable, it remains essential to regard this situation as a domestic concern of Ukraine and not as an invitation to react from the international community—especially the U.S. The international concern here remains not in responsibility of action but conversely on knowing where not to act. Many are unaware that much of this conflict


has risen out the existence of competing external economic pressures from Europe and Russia. Both Russia and the E.U. are guilty of creating an artificial economic promise for Ukraine. The economic success of Ukraine becomes political when external governments decide that Ukraine’s economic development falls under their jurisdiction—which it should not. How much more peacefully can lenders and borrowers, buyers and sellers, or businesses and individuals interact when not forcibly introduced to one another at the command of a government (which comes with a long list of dirty and polarizing politics)? Russia, Europe and the U.S. offer no help in creating these artificial economic packages to other nations. The principle of economic development, as a long-term aid in development, has little evidence to suggest it as a positive. In principle, free-market economies should not be subject to their artificial disbursements occurring at the hands of governments. Since it remains impossible for governments to act impartially or selflessly toward another state, how can we expect any external economic solution to offer meaningful stability for Ukraine? In reality, we have just witnessed heightened instability as a result of external influence creeping in on the realm of Ukrainian domestic free-choice markets. We can be confident in the Ukrainian constitution to uphold checks on its branches of government and additionally in the Ukrainian economy, which has the potential to freely engage in economic activity with partners of its choosing. As such, our hopes should be directed at Russia and the West respecting Ukrainian sovereignty and refusing to promulgate this damaging practice of “economic development packages.” Let us look forward to and hope for a peaceful and swift recovery of the Ukrainian people and their state, noticing that a democratic society will hold accountable a government gone astray from its will.


The Lorian


Feb 27, 2014

LEGO Movie Builds on Franchise LEGO fans rejoice—the nostalgic movie experience of the year is here, and it couldn’t be better. The LEGO movie has been in theaters for three weeks, but the success keeps building. Audiences everywhere, young and old, have filed into theaters to see their favorite childhood toys come to life on the big screen. Emett (Chris Pratt), an ordinary LEGO minifigure, lives in a city where everything is the same. Everyone listens to the same song (“Everything Is AWESOME!!!”) on repeat, eats the same food, and drinks the same overpriced coffee. Emett thinks himself to be an everyday guy when he stumbles upon the Piece of Resistance, a legendary tool to stop the impending threat of President Business (Will Ferrell) and his plans to end the world. It isn’t long before Emett finds himself thrust into a world that’s bigger than he ever imagined and tries to live up to the expectations of his friends as the Master Builder. While the film’s target audience is a younger generation, there’s more than enough to keep older audiences entertained. Apart from the sheer nostalgia, the humor is lighthearted and the theme of imagination is relatable at all ages. Not to mention the all-star cast that older audiences will appreciate; Chris Pratt (Parks and Recreation) takes

by COLIN HALBMAIER | staff writer

the lead, with some assistance from Will Ferrell, Morgan Freeman, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett, Liam Neeson, and even an appearance by Shaquille O’Neal, to name just a few. It’s the kind of cast that makes you feel good knowing that even the actors of the most violent movies can take a step back and do something as lighthearted as LEGO. Fans of LEGO toys will recognize many of the throwbacks to the company’s earlier days. The Octan Corporation, which was the fictional gas station featured in sets from 1992, has evolved into a world-dominating corporation headed by President Business himself. Later in the movie, the generic spaceman from early sets makes an appearance, and is even dismissed by other characters as being a classical minifigure. For those familiar with the technical aspects of LEGOs, there are several scenes where pieces are labeled with their four-digit numbers, as they were in classical in-

structions. Emett values living life by the book, which includes directions in the style of the instruction manuals that come with each set. Making a film based on a line of toys is a risky move that can easily go awry, but as with everything LEGO does, the result is as solid as a brick. It’s difficult to address the theme of the movie without spoiling it, but later scenes hit hard. If you didn’t think you’d cry at the LEGO movie, you may want to reconsider. Being a kid’s movie based on a series of toys where anything is possible, don’t expect a realistic plot. Oftentimes, such ridiculous things happen that you can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. That’s what gives the film its charm, and makes you want to keep watching. While it may not be at the Oscar-level, the LEGO Movie is easily one of the year’s best movies. The wait for it to hit the store shelves will be difficult, but in the meantime, LEGO is rolling out a line of toys based on the movie. If you leave the theater not wanting to break out the bucket of LEGOs you keep in your basement at home, then clearly you weren’t paying attention. The company is known for its line of carefully-crafted toys, and now, for their film. As the movie’s theme song implies, everything is awesome.


by NINO ERBA | staff writer

Say what you will about last year: 2013 had a stellar year at the movies. Though the Oscars still can’t satisfy everyone (why in heaven’s name does Best Picture have 9 slots this year?), they did manage to stuff a lot of worthy contenders into the mix. Who will be the lucky ones? Time to go through the acting categories and the centerpiece!

Best Actor Who should win: Chiwetel Ejiofor. Tom Hanks would be the choice here if he wasn’t the victim of one of the more notable snubs in recent memory. That said, 12 Years a Slave was phenomenal, and Ejoifor’s remarkable performance was at the center of it. So good was he that you might not even realize he’s actually British. As an added plus, the film helped people to pronounce his name right. Who will win: Matthew McConaughey. McConaughey has been on a roll for the past few years. Not only was he very good in Dallas Buyers Club, but he also made a memorable appearance in Wolf of Wall Street. He has the awards momentum, which makes him the front-runner in this race.

Who should win: Sandra Bullock. I have a confession to make: Bullock is the only one I have seen in this category, so my choice has some bias. That said, Gravity was probably the best work she’s ever done, definitely better than in the Blind Side. The award she won for the Blind Side should’ve been hers for this movie. She’s that good. Who will win: Cate Blanchett. Blanchett has the momentum to win, though her win has some baggage to address. Blue Jasmine received a lot of good reviews, making it stand out amongst Woody Allen’s later

Celebrating 175 Years

Since 2005 Loras student workers submit their work hours via the IQ system using a computer. Prior to this students submitted hours on “time sheets” which had to be verified, signed and dated by their work supervisor. But in the 1950s and 1960s student workers had to “punch” a time-clock. This photo shows a cafeteria student “punching” in his hours on the time clock. Each work shift the student would “punch in” when they came to work and then “punch out” when they left. There was no “honor system” involved—the clock recorded the exact time in and time out. (Courtesy of the Loras College Archives)

The Seven Types of College Students 1. The Overachiever - This five times in your life. Yet, by RYAN GRAHAM | sports editor type of student has an unthey always seem to come healthy obsession with their grades. They’re the kind up in conversation with friends. You’ll say, “I know of person who complains about getting a B+. They of them, but I don’t know them.” This person has a spend every waking moment of their life at the library. knack for evading you. You might not even realize Nobody knows what they do there. I mean, you can they exist until graduation day when their name gets only study for a certain amount of time, right? What called and you think, “Wait, who?” They are simply— do they do then? I’m assuming they just rub books an enigma. all over their body and laugh at how much smarter 6. That One Guy - This is the polar opposite of the they are than everyone. Buncha psychos, these ones… enigma. Everyone knows this person. They are every2. The Party Animal - This person never lets a Fri- where—in the cafeteria, at parties, at sporting events. day or Saturday night go to waste… or a Thursday You feel like you should talk to them more but every night for that matter. You’ll find them at every party, time you see them in the hallways, you just kind of at every bar. It’s like they have the tolerance of a 400 stare at them awkwardly and walk past them without pound lowland gorilla. How has this person not been saying a word. See, this is your problem. You need to kicked out yet? But seriously, how do they do it? Do be more social. You always complain about not having they not get hangovers? Are they a genius? Or may- any friends, but it’s because you never make the efbe they’ve been fooling everyone this whole time and fort. If you would just stop and be friendly every once they’re secretly a 34-year-old, twelfth-year senior. in a while, instead of spending so much time writ3. The Chronic Procrastinator - This person never ing your blog and worrying about editing the sports sleeps. You’ll find them wide-awake in their rooms section, then maybe you’d finally… Wait, what am I at two o’clock in the morning. You’ll walk in to find doing again? Oh right, Lorian article… Sorry folks, I them lying on the floor, surrounded by empty cans of get off on tangents like a calculus fetish. Monster, staring at a blank word document and con7. The Underachiever - Last but not least, you have vulsing uncontrollably. You can’t stay long, though. the underachievers. These people are near and dear to They have to concentrate! Their 10-page paper is due my heart, because I too am an underachiever. I might in six hours! They need to get to work! After one last be the king of underachievers (provided that such an game of Candy Crush, that is. honor exists). To give you an idea, I got a 30 on my 4. The Over-Extender - This person is basically a ACT (a 34 on the English section, if you’re keeping real-life version of Jim Carrey in Yes Man. Any time score). If you’ve ever had a conversation with me, you a person comes to them with a new organization or probably know this, because it’s normally like the secclub for them to join, they just can’t say no. They’re in ond thing I say to people. “Hi, I’m Ryan. I got a 30 on band, choir, Dance Marathon, Breaking the Silence, my ACT.” And yet, despite my penchant for boasting CAB and Student Union. They’re taking 18 credits; about my intelligence, I’ve managed to stumble my they play two sports and work three part-time jobs. way to a 2.6 GPA throughout my entire academic caThey don’t eat. Then again, they don’t need to— they reer. Underachieving is like a disease, an addiction. find nourishment in their own productivity. If you It makes life too easy. When you know you can put want to talk to this person, you should give them 3-4 in almost zero effort and still come away with a C+, months prior notice. motivating yourself becomes extremely difficult. But 5. The Enigma - Does this person even go here? hey, it’s not our fault; we’re just not being challenged You wouldn’t know. You’ve seen them in person like enough, right?

Feb 27, 2014


Next Up On The Oscars

Best Actress

Looking Back

The Lorian

efforts. However, the recent return to the Woody Allen scandal of the 90s (Google at your own risk) raises some questions about what will happen if Blanchett wins. Still, she appears to be the front-runner this year.

Best Supporting Actor Who should win: Michael Fassbender. This one is tough, but Fassbender has the added benefit of being in 12 Years a Slave (more on that later). As a sadistic, slimy slave owner who physically (and even sexually) abuses the slaves he owns and has the gall to quote the Bible, Fassbender shows us why slavery is abhorrent. As with Ejiofor, he’s so good that you probably won’t realize he’s European as well (his mother is from Northern Ireland, his dad is German, and he was born in West Germany). Who will win: Jared Leto. Like McConaughey, who was also in Dallas Buyers Club, Leto has the momentum to win, and for good reason. His performance as a transgender woman was one of the better representations of someone in the LGBT community this year. Plus, he’s good enough to let us forgive him for fronting 30 Seconds to Mars.

Best Supporting Actress Who should win: Lupita Nyong’o. Unfortunately, this was the only one I’ve seen so far, so more bias. However, Nyong’o still should win because she’s so good. Born in Mexico and raised in Kenya, this is her debut performance and it’s incredible. She gives us a raw look at her character, who may be the biggest victim of Fassbender’s actions. This kind of work makes stars. Who will win: Lupita Nyong’o. Nyong’o has both the curse and benefit of being up against Jennifer Lawrence. The curse is that they both have won awards this year, and Lawrence is one of the biggest stars on the planet right now. The benefit is that Lawrence won last year for Silver Linings Playbook, and back-to-back Oscar wins are rare. This race will be interesting.

Best Picture Who should win: 12 Years a Slave. I probably will regurgitate what has already been said about this, but that shouldn’t matter. This is the most affecting and important film made this year. Until the U.S. confronts and solves its racism problem once and for all, films like this must be made, must be seen, and must be talked about. Who will win: 12 Years a Slave. Enough soapbox talk. Slave will win because it is the best movie of the year. While Wolf of Wall Street and other movies were also excellent, this movie will go over on sheer impact alone. It has the best direction and some of the best performances of any movie this year. To sound like a broken record a bit, a number of the people who worked on this were non-Americans: director Steve McQueen, actors Benedict Cumberbatch, Ejiofor, (all British), plus Fassbender and Nyong’o. Let this irony sink in a little bit. So, there you go. 2014 has a lot to live up to, though the Lego Movie is a terrific movie and a worthy contender for Best Animated Feature for this year. And it’s only February! The statuettes will be awards on March 2nd on ABC. Mindframe Theaters will be hosting its annual Oscar Party that night, so there’s another way to watch it if the TV in your dorm is taken up by your friends eager for the new episode of the Walking Dead. Hopefully, Ellen DeGeneres and the gang will make the show as entertaining as some of the wardrobe choices this year!

Dallas Buyers Club by NINO ERBA | staff writer

Note: Dallas Buyers Club is out on DVD, so now you can see what all the Oscar buzz is about at home! Imagine a time and place where people are dying at escalating rates, there is no concrete solution to help stop this crisis, and the government is largely apathetic in this situation. Would you believe that it was us? Whether you like it or not, this was the United States in the 1980s when the HIV/AIDS epidemic was on the rise, and it wasn’t until the crisis was inescapable that the Reagan administration finally put some effort into fighting it. By then, it was an international epidemic and hundreds had died from the disease. Dallas Buyers Club is a telling look at what one man did to fight his inevitable outcome. Ron Woodroof (Matthew McConaughey) is an electrician in Texas whose lifestyle is less than inspiring: heavy smoker, cocaine user, lives in a trailer home, likes his get the picture. One day after waking up in the hospital, Woodroof learns from his doctors that he has tested positive for HIV. At first, he reacts with disbelief because he’s straight (the majority of the early deaths from AIDS were gay men). After that,

he searches for ways to treat his HIV like taking AZT through a shady deal with a hospital employee and traveling to Mexico for various combinations that help more effectively than the AZT he was taking. Eventually, he starts the Dallas Buyers Club, which gives people afflicted with the disease the proper drugs, pills, and substances needed for treatment. He runs it with a transgender woman named Rayon (Jared Leto), whose flamboyancy and personality at first put off Woodroof, but she quickly becomes one of his best friends. The film takes various turns, including a scene where Woodroof takes the FDA to federal court. Many students at Loras (including myself) are perhaps too young to comprehend just how bad things were back then. Millions of people have already died of AIDS, and the kind of homophobia that stemmed from it is shameful. Though AZT was a breakthrough on how to treat HIV, it wasn’t until the 1990s that proven effective antiretroviral treatment for HIV stopped the virus from giving people walking death sentences. Today, advancements in technology and medicine allow for both a greater prevention of spreading HIV/AIDS, and allow-

ing people who are afflicted to live fuller lives. There remains no proven cure for HIV/AIDS, but if the progress that we have seen continues, we could see it within our lifetimes. As for the movie, Dallas Buyers Club is a strong biography of a little-known subject. The direction and writing are gritty and keep the film grounded, but what elevates it are a string of great performances. McConaughey transforms on screen, tackling his character’s development without missing a step, making his comeback now official. Leto excels as Rayon, transcending the makeup and drag to create a memorable character. He’s good enough that you’ll forgive him for 30 Seconds to Mars. Jennifer Garner also does some of her best work as a doctor who becomes one of Ron’s best friends. We need films like Dallas Buyers Club, if only for their social importance. This may not have the same impact to those born after the 80s, but the Oscars beckon, and this film will answer the call. Help fight HIV/AIDS. To learn more about the disease, how to prevent it or how to treat it, talk to your doctor; call your state HIV/AIDS hotline; or go to www.aids. gov for more information.



The Lorian Feb. 27, 2014

Pump Up Your Iron by CASSANDRA BUSCH | news editor

Our bodies are amazing machines. Thousands of processes are going on within us every day, without us even having to think about it. If your body is a well-oiled machine, then the vitamins are the oil that keep it running smoothly. One of these important oils is iron. Iron is a mineral that is in charge of transporting oxygen to different parts of your body. Iron comprises a large part of hemoglobin. Hemoglobin is the element of red blood cells that moves oxygen from your lungs to throughout your entire body. If you don’t have enough iron in your system, then enough oxygen isn’t getting transported throughout your body. Without enough oxygen, you will become tired and fatigued. Besides giving you energy, iron helps your nails, skin and hair stay healthy. Infants and young children need more iron than adults, and women need more iron than men. Children need approximately 8-10 milligrams a day of iron, men require 8 milligrams, and women ages 18-50 should take in around 18 milligrams. Vegetarians, pregnant women, and athletes are especially prone to iron deficiency, and should consider monitoring their intake to make sure they are getting enough of the mineral. Symptoms of iron deficiency include fatigue, being short of breath, cold fingers or toes, sore tongue or mouth corners, or difficulty swallowing. If you are lacking in the mineral, you can take a supplement or vitamin to restore their iron levels, but be careful because it is possible to have too much iron in your body. Too much iron could result in stomach pain, nausea, or vomiting. Consulting a doctor before taking a supplement is usually the best option. There are foods that are known for their high iron content, and are also an option for putting more of the essential mineral into your everyday diet. These foods include eggs, leafy greens such as spinach, turkey, iron-enriched breads and grains, beans, lentils, egg yolks, mollusks, seafood, broccoli, and fruit. Diet is typically the best way to incorporate an increase of iron into your body. Vitamins and minerals are essential to keep our bodies in balance. Without them, we can’t function to our fullest potential and our health will suffer. Iron is one mineral that is especially important to living a healthy, energetic life, and making sure that you have enough will keep you feeling strong and ready for anything!

College Cooking Chocolate-Covered Peanut Butter

Chocolate Chip Photo and recipe from Cookie Dough Balls by COLIN HALBMAIER | co-executive editor

Ingredients • •

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough from a recipe of your choice Peanut Butter (amount depends on the amount of cookie dough) Chocolate bark

What You’ll Need • • • • •

Access to a stovetop A pan for boiling water A pan for melting chocolate A pan, plate, or cooling rack Wax paper (optional, but preferred)

College cooking is about more than learning new recipes. The average college student doesn’t have the money to buy a new set of ingredients for each recipe, so they look for ways to enhance the foods they already have. That’s why meals like stir fry and ramen noodles are so popular: you add what you can, and even experiment a little when you can. Last semester, I offered a recipe for chocolate-covered peanut butter balls. This time, take it another step. Take your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe, and mix in peanut butter. The more you add, the stronger the flavor. Roll it into balls and chill in the refrigerator. Melt your chocolate bark on the stove, and dip each ball in carefully. Place them on a sheet of wax paper until hardened. For the best results, freeze before eating. Don’t break a tooth!


Write numbers in the spaces so that each row, column, and 3x3 box contain the numbers 1 through 9.

Mind & Soul

The Lorian

Hey Mike:


Hey Elisha: I am a 22 year old senior and lately I feel as though everyone around me either has a boyfriend, girlfriend, or fiancé. It seems like every time I go on Facebook another person is either in a relationship or engaged. I am starting to feel pressure to find a boyfriend who I can spend the rest of my life with. I have always been a very independent individual but lately I am not feeling this way. This sense of loneliness is starting to overwhelm me and I do not know what to do. Please help!

o l d y o

It is a natural feeling to long for that special someone. But what we must not do is long to the point where we meet desperation. Where is your pressure to be in a relationship coming from? Perhaps it’s coming from the media, family members, or even yourself? One thing you must realize is that social networks (such as Facebook) have a tendency to magnify individual’s lives. People have the capability of broadcasting various types of their lives, including relationships. So, what should you do about your feelings of loneliness? Here are a few suggestions: Explore: Dive into activities and hobbies you love. Perhaps engage in new activities that you have not yet attempted. This can help boost your mood, self-esteem, and enjoyment of life. Love yourself: Become aware of what positive traits you have to offer. Exercise these traits daily. Don’t compare yourself to others: This is a dangerous cycle. Try not to compare your life to that of others. Attempt to be happy for others while finding your own happiness. Control your attitude and outlook: Plaster a smile on your face and be grateful for what you have and are capable of. Even though you don’t have a relationship right now, there are other parts of your life worth exploring and making the best of!

Mike says:

Oh dear! The name you chose for yourself says so much. First off, the way you feel right now, dating is probably not a good idea. However, that does not mean relating is not a good idea. You need to be involved with other people, both men and women. You don’t have to date to do that. Go out with groups made up of both women and men. Work on projects with others. Join organizations. As part of all that, as you feel more confident and develop trust, look for a chance to work with a man on some project or activity. By becoming active and involved you become less self-conscious, anxious and self-critical. You said, “counseling didn’t help.” What you mean is that the counseling you got was not helpful. That could be for many reasons, some having to do with your readiness for counseling, as well as with the skills and experience of the counselor. It sounds like you are very ready now to make some changes now, and perhaps are in a place where it is safe to do so. Consider contacting the counseling center, being frank with them about your fears, and asking them to be open about their ability to help or to find someone who can help. Good luck. Based only on what little you wrote, the name you chose certainly does not apply.

What are you looking for? the life that is true life:


Begin preparations for Lent with Ash Wednesday

Don’t let Lent catch you off guard


by FR. GROSS | for the Lorian

Next week on March 5th, we will begin the Sacred Season of Lent with Ash Wednesday. We will have three opportunities to pray as a community. At noon we will have our Ecumenical Prayer Service in the ACC ballroom. At 5:15 p.m. in Christ the King we will celebrate Mass, and of course we will end the day with Wednesday night Mass at 9 p.m. to celebrate Ash Wednesday. Lent is the time to seek the Lord. It is the time to renew our efforts in being more faithful to God and the Church. It is a time when we can reflect on our relationship with God and with others. It is also a time to do penance as an expression of our sorrow for our sins and also our love for what Christ did on the cross. I just want to offer one tip as you prepare for Lent. Sometimes people

— Trying Not To Sound Desperate

Elisha says:


I am afraid and freeze around men. I am afraid to date because I do not want to get hurt. I have giant childhood baggage from being abused and it is affecting my adult life. I do not know how to overcome abuses, and counseling didn’t help. — Ugly

St. Pius X Seminary

like Lent because it is a chance to do a spiritual diet (no candy). Others like Lent because it is a chance to recommit to their faith life. Still others simply just don’t like Lent. They just don’t like fish! So here’s the tip I want to offer you; when you make your resolutions of fasting, praying, and almsgiving, make sure that you combine the practices together. If you are fasting from lunch on Fridays during Lent, then offer that time in prayer and then collect the money that you saved in not eating and give the money away in charity for someone less fortunate than yourself. When we combine the spiritual practices of fasting, prayer, and almsgiving, we get to the spirit and reason for the penance we take up during Lent. We don’t do them to show off to God how wonderful we are. Rather, we pray, fast, and give alms because Lent is the call to deeper love and sacrifice. It is the deeper call to the awareness that we only need Jesus in life and everything else is bonus. It is the deeper call that the spiritual reality of life is primary to the other realities that at times overtake our priorities and desires. Please know of my prayers for you as you prepare to begin the sacred season of Lent. It can be a wonderful opportunity to grow in love, humility, and sacrifice. God bless, and I’ll see you around campus!



at Christ the King 5:15 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday 9 p.m. Wednesday 8 p.m. Sunday

at St. Joseph’s Chapel 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday thru Friday at Christ the King 9 p.m. Thursday


Only the Lonely

The Lorian is continuing a column by Dr. Mike Boyd, director of the Counseling Center. Here, he will answer student questions concerning anything that relates to keeping it together while going through this crazy thing called college. Send questions or comments to Dr. Mike, Loras Box 100, or to the e-mail address All names of those sending questions will be kept confidential. This week features two questions with similar topics but different perspectives. The second was sent to Elisha, the Counseling Center’s graduate intern.

Paste Abuse Problems

Feb. 27, 2014


t’s getting to be that time of year again: Lent! Yes, Lent, that hallowed time of chocolate deprivation and endless fish dinners. However, for all the things we give up or extra things we do, we must remember that we do not make our Lenten practices for these things themselves. We don’t abstain from meat for the sake of not eating meat. Giving up sweets has a purpose beyond better health. Lent is a time to deepen our relationship with God. On Ash Wednesday, we will hear these words from the prophet Joel: “Even now, says the LORD, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping, and mourning; Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the LORD, your God” (Joel 2:12-3). Lent is a prime opportunity for us to assess our

relationship with God. We all have been fickle and rejected God in some way or another, but God calls us back. He wants to love us, and He wants our love. So, through the penances of Lent, we acknowledge the wrongs we have done and form our hearts to turn back to God. Whatever your Lenten resolution is, whether it’s giving up something or doing something extra, make it a form of prayer and offer your Lenten practice to God. Make your sacrifice for God as you make sacrifices for the ones you love. The Gospel reading on Ash Wednesday tells us to pray, give alms, and fast in secret. This makes penance a more personal and intimate act for the Lord. We will be commemorating the passion of Jesus Christ, who went through great suffering to gain great intimacy with those who love Him. With a little suffering we too may gain great intimacy with Him. So, go ahead and pray, fast, and give alms this Lent so that God may find more room in our hearts. We have a little time before Lent starts. Let us prepare our hearts to love God with greater devotion than we have before.

Antioch offers a welcoming and faith-filled community


by AMY TRAPANI | for the Lorian

f you are looking for a time to reflect, meet new people, and strengthen your relationship with Christ, consider attending the Antioch retreat March 28-30. I went on Antioch the fall of my first year. The retreat gave me a new perspective on my faith, helped me grow in community with others, and ultimately challenged me to make faith an active part of my life. As I listened to talks, reflected, and shared with others, I learned that I wasn’t the only one who struggled

to believe, persevere, or find hope. I’ve always struggled to let Christ in and to understand His love – but Christ will meet you where you are. The supportive community on the retreat enabled me to recognize this, and I was able to deepen my faith. It does not matter if you go to Mass once a year or every day; Antioch will help you with your faith journey. It will not fix everything, but it will give you a foundation for spiritual growth. I encourage you to prayerfully consider attending and allowing Christ to work in your life in an unimaginable way.


The Lorian


Feb. 27, 2014

Women’s lacrosse looks to improve in 2nd year Loras drops its first 2 matches in Minneapolis by JILL LEIBFORTH | sportswriter

The Duhawks had a rough outing last Sunday in Minneapolis, dropping their first two games of the season to Augsburg and Midland. The Duhawks fell to Augsburg by the score of 20-5. Sophomore Katilyn Kutsch led the team with four goals. First-year Anna Schwalbe also added a goal and senior Karli Jonasen collected an assist in the game. In their second game of the day, the Duhawks fell to the Warriors of Midland by the score of 20-8. Kutsch accounted for seven Loras goals, giving her 11 of the Duhawks 13 goals on the season. First year Hannah Nelson chipped in with a goal and first-year goalie Claire Sheahan added 17 saves. “We’ve been focusing a lot on defense in practices and how to communicate as a whole defensive unit and apply pressure on the attack,” said head coach Emily Goetz. “The women demonstrated much better defensive awareness and support to the ball. It was exciting to see them work together in the 7-on-7 on that end because that hasn’t been something we’ve been able to do in practice being such a small team.” Goetz’s Duhawks are looking to improve

on their 1-13 record in their inaugural season last year. “Despite our record last year, we had a very successful season within the program,” said Goetz. “I’m a believer in building relationships with this team for a complete make-over from last year’s team. We will focus on strengthening relationships and trust. “My goal is to build a strong competitive program with women who want to be a part of this team for the interpersonal relationships and for the love of the game,” Goetz continued. “With that said, one thing we will be working on is setting short-term specific goals for each individual in order to improve our fundamentals while we continue to learn some of the bigger concepts as a whole. I


believe this will help the team in multiple areas and make us more successful in the end.” Coach Goetz also emphasized her team’s need to focus on its aggression. “We have got to bring up the level of aggression on the field in order to have any chance at winning draw controls and controlling the game,” she said. “Along with that, we will continue to work a couple new defensive strategies to shut down our opponents, create turnovers and thus, spend more time on our offensive end controlling the tempo of the game”. This year marks the Duhawks’ first year in the Midwest Women’s Lacrosse Conference (MWLC). Coach Goetz was asked about

Sophomore Kaitlyn Kutsch accounted for 11 of the Duhawks’ 13 goals over the weekend.

“We certainly have a lot on the line as far as reputation goes. Rankings speak volumes for programs and we are looking to improve ours in order to more closely represent what this program really is and has to offer.”

Emily Goetz,


Head coach | women’s Lacrosse

some of the new challenges her team will face in their new conference. “We certainly have a lot on the line as far as reputation goes,” said Goetz. “Rankings speak volumes for programs and we are looking to improve ours in order to more closely represent what this program really is and has to offer. I’m excited for the women to be eligible for conference recognitions like ‘player of the week,’ the opportunity to compete for a spot in the conference tournament, to compete for a conference title and to compete for a spot in the national tournament. Some may see this as a far off goal, but I know this program has what it takes to compete at the highest level. My mother has always told me that no matter what, if you really believe in something, you can make it happen and you can make a difference. That is key. That is what we are trying to do and we plan to bring it.” The Duhawks’ next game will take place next Saturday, March 8, at the Illinois Institute of Technology where they will take on the Scarlet Hawks of IIT. The Duhawk’s first home game of the season will take place on Wednesday, March 12, against crosstown rival UD. The UD game will mark the first of a six-game home-stand throughout the month of March and into early April.

Men’s and Women’s Track & Field

Loras makes strong showing at North Central Cardinal Classic Women place 3rd while the men’s team finishes 4th by DALE ELENTENY | sportswriter

senior Donna Johnson took third in the 4x400-meter relay. Joining the top- 10 Loras performances of all time in their events were: Frey, at 10th in the 800-meter run, Neely at 10th in the long jump, sophomore Devan Kennedy at eighth in the 60-meter hurdles, first-year Audrey Hooks at fifth in the 60-meter hurdles, Steere at sixth in the shot put, senior Emily Roth and first-year Emily Gladis both taking sixth in the pole vault, Wagner taking 10th all-time in the mile and Brandenburg at second in both the pole vault and in the 60-meter hurdles.

The men’s and women’s track & field teams took fourth and third place, respectively, at the North Central College Cardinal Classic in Naperville, IL, last weekend. Head coach Matt Jones was optimistic about the results. “There were a lot of positives that came from Friday’s meet at North Central,” he said. “There was great competition at NCC and it’s a chance for some of our student-athletes to run close to “Heading into the IIAC’s this weekhome, as we have a number of athletes end both men’s and women’s teams from the Chicagoland area. At this point are looking for a top 3 finish or better,” in the year we are looking said Jones. “There are also for improvement and hopa number of student-athDuhawk ing to stay healthy. We had letes hoping to make a run a lot of PR’s and a number to the NCAA Indoor Chamathletes of new additions to Loras’ pionships as well. Freshset 10 All-Time Top 10 list. Unforman Dylan Toole, freshman tunately we have some peoElizabeth Brandenburg, and school ple battling some injuries Morgan Steere are all records in junior right now and we will try to in the top-25 in the country manage those heading into Naperville in their respective events. the Iowa Conference ChamWe currently have two reover the pionships this weekend.” lays also in the top 25: men’s The Duhawks had sevweekend. distance medley relay and eral top-3 finishers over 4x400-meter. With a couple the weekend. On the men’s weeks left, we hope to add a side, the relay team of juniors Ty Whit- few more names to that list. man and Zac Gassman and sophomores Looking ahead into the outdoor seaZach Frey and Sam Whan took first in son I’m hoping we can get some people the distance medley relay. First-year healthy and it will also be great to add Dylan Toole took third in the high jump some of the basketball players on both and sophomore Keontae Neely took the men’s and women’s team moving third in the long jump. forward,” Jones continued. “I’m hopeful On the women’s side, senior Laura that this long winter is getting close to Wondra took second in long jump, soph- an end and we can get out and get ready omore Maggie Saenz Ruiz took second in for the outdoor season. I believe we have the 3000-meter run, senior Kellie Wag- a great group of student-athletes, but ner took third in the 1-mile run, first- we are always looking to improve as a year Elizabeth Bradenburg took third team.” in the 60-meter hurdles, junior Morgan The Duhawks will compete in the Steere placed third in the shot put and IIAC indoor conference championships the relay team of Wondra, junior Emily at Luther College on Saturday. Sotelo, sophomore Brittnee Powers and


The Lorian

Feb. 27, 2014


Junior Victoria May pulls up for a floater during the Duhawks’ win over Simpson Wednesday night in the AWC. With the win, the Duhawks clinched the No. 1 seed and a firstround bye in the Iowa Conference Tournament. photo by KAT EDWARDS photo by KAT EDWARDS

First-year Lori Obendorf takes contact from a defender while attempting a shot during Loras’ 71-57 win over Simpson.

Duhawks the team to beat in IIAC tourney Loras clinches No. 1 seed and first-round bye in the Iowa Conference Tournament by KATIE TRUESDALE | sportswriter

With their defeat of conference opponent Simpson College, the Duhawks officially clinched the IIAC regular season title. This marks the Duhawks’ first regular season title since the 2002-2003 season. The Duhawks finished with a conference record of 12-2 and a 17-8 record overall. Early on, the Duhawks trailed the Storm by seven points. After a few turnovers and missed opportunities, the Duhawks finally got back into the swing of things and were able to play their own game. After a back and forth first half, the Duhawks were trailing a few points until sophomore Kaitlin Phillips was able to tie the game 22-22 with a lay-up. The Storm fought back however, and held the lead at halftime, 31-28. As the second half went Before, we’ve come on the Storm put the Duinto the tournament hawks on their heels with a 38-31 lead, but the women as the underdogs weren’t going to give up the just trying to put up IIAC title without a fight. a fight, but I think Things started to click for Loras as the Duhawks bethis year we have a gan to sink shots from the target on our backs. I outside. With that momenthink if we work hard tum, the women got back into the lead, 56-46, with like we have all year, only a few minutes left to and take care of what play. we need to do in The game ended with practice, we can come the score 71-57, and the Duhawks had the opportuout and hopefully nity to cut down the nets as play some of our 2013-2014 IIAC champions. best basketball.” Sophomore point guard Kaitlin Phillips led the Kaitlin Phillips, team with 19 points. Senior sophomore point guard forward Katie Langmeier scored 14 and collected 10

rebounds. First-year guard Kathleen Cabrera led the team in assists with five and chipped in with 12 points of her own. On Saturday, the Duhawks traveled to Cedar Rapids to face Coe College. With nothing really to play for, the women were defeated by Coe 60-48. Despite the loss, the women have secured the number No. 1 seed and first-round bye in the Iowa Conference Tournament. Against Coe, Phillips led the Duhawks in scoring with



photo by KAT EDWARDS

Senior forward Katie Langmeier attempts to block a shot against Simpson. Langmeier played a team-high 34 minutes, recording a double-double with 14 points and 10 rebounds.

eight points, while Cabrera and junior Victoria May both added seven. “I think preparing for the tournament has a lot to do with refining the things that we do,” said Phillips.“I think working on the things that we can control will be essential to trying to come out with some wins during post-season. Records at this point are thrown out, and it comes down to just taking one game at a time. I think the pressure put on each game is definitely significant. It is one-and-done at this point. “Before, we’ve come into the tournament as the underdogs just trying to put up a fight, but I think this year we have a target on our backs,” Phillips continued. “I think if we work hard like we have all year, and take care of what we need to do in practice, we can come out and hopefully play some of our best basketball. Postseason is an exciting time of year and it’s what we work all season for, so it’s just sort of surreal that we’re already here.” With their first-round bye, the Duhawks have plenty of time to regroup after their loss to Coe. “I think the main thing was just to clear our heads and remember it is one game at a time” said Langmeier. “We learned what our mistakes were and we worked on them at practice. I think the main thing was realizing that we have to learn from the mistakes and keep getting better. It is exciting being a senior and looking back at all the hard work put into basketball and all the things we accomplished as a team.” In the regular season, the Duhawks led the IIAC in rebounding margin, averaging 8.2 more rebounds per game than their opponents. The Duhawks also finished third in scoring defense. Individually, Phillips finished 6th in the IIAC in points per game with 14.0. Langmeier finished third in rebounds with 8.3 per game and fourth in steals with 1.86 per game. First-year center Lori Obendorf finished fourth in blocks per game with 1.21. May finished third in total field goal percentage at 50.4% and Cabrera led the conference in freethrow percentage at 89.2%. The Duhawks will get their first taste of post-season action on Thursday against the winner of the first-round match-up between Wartburg and Simpson.

Men’s tennis drops 2 straight at UW-Eau Claire ‘‘ Duhawks fall to 0-4, but show improvement over opening-weekend play by RYAN GRAHAM | sports editor

Last weekend, the Duhawks fell to 0-4 after losses to Wisconsin-Eau Claire and the Milwaukee School of Engineering. Loras fell to Eau Claire by the score of 0-9; and to MSOE by the score of 1-8. The Duhawks’ lone point was scored by sophomore Ulises Hernandez, who defeated his opponent by the scores of 6-1 and 7-5. “I definitely saw some improvement from Ulises Hernandez,” said head coach Daniel Kurt. “He played really well in singles in his second match. We were a little shorthanded with our number two (senior Jeff Kasel) at a conference for sports management. But overall the guys played tough. We should have had a couple more wins than we had. We definitely should have won at one-doubles against MSOE where we had them at match-point but lost that one. We were a lot closer than what the score made it look like.” When asked about which areas his team needs to improve specifically, Kurt emphasized the importance of

“I know there are some times where we’re not patient enough. We got a lot of guys beating themselves. Sometimes we’re trying too hard to beat the other guy and we end up beating ourselves. We need to be more patient and more focused on hitting good shots rather than hitting difficult shots that increase our chances of error. We’re trying to hit too many shots where the error percentage is too high.”

Daniel Kurt


Head coach | men’s tennis

playing smarter. “I think we make a lot of unforced errors,” Kurt said. “I know there are some times where we’re not patient enough. We got a lot of guys beating themselves. Sometimes we’re trying too hard to beat the other guy and we end up beating

ourselves. We need to be more patient and more focused on hitting good shots rather than hitting difficult shots that increase our chances of error. We’re trying to hit too many shots where the error percentage is too high.” The Duhawks will travel to Storm Lake this Saturday where they will face off against conference opponent Buena Vista, as well as Cornell College. When asked about how his team matches up against its next two opponents, coach Kurt sounded optimistic. “BV has a good player at the top of their line-up,” said Kurt, “but so do we, so that’ll be an interesting match-up at one. They’re not a very deep team, just like us, but they have a little more talent in the middle of their line-up. Hopefully we can get some momentum going in the doubles that we can carry onto the singles match-ups. Cornell’s roster is a bit odd to read. I know they’ve been very good in the past but they might be a little short on guys right now. It definitely looks like one that we can win.” After their matches against Buena Vista and Cornell, the Duhawks will be home for the remainder of the season, with their next eight matches taking place on the AWC tennis courts.


The Lorian

Feb. 27, 2014


The Olympics are stupid GRAHAM SLAM

photo by KAT EDWARDS

Sophomore forward Mirko Grcic drives to the basket during last Wednesday’s win over Simpson. Grcic fished with a teamhigh seven rebounds.

Duhawks fall to Luther in 1st round of the IIAC Tournament No. 6-seed Luther upsets No. 3-seeded Duhawks by KATIE TRUESDALE | sportswriter

The Duhawks were eliminated from the Iowa Conference Tournament Tuesday night, falling to Luther by the score of 86-77. After trailing by only one at half, the Duhawks struggled to slow down the Norse offense in the second half, allowing 47 points. Senior Alex Cline led the Duhawks in scoring with 16 points. Junior Aaron Schueller added 15, senior Ryan Coon had 14 and 10 rebounds and junior Nathaniel Smith filled up the stat sheet with 12 points, five rebounds and a team-high five assists. The loss brings the Duhawks’ final record on the season to 15-11 overall and 8-7 in the Iowa conference. This is a vast improvement over their 8-17 photo by KAT EDWARDS overall and 3-11 conference records Senior forward Alex Cline takes the contact in the from a season ago. lane and follows through with a lay-up against Prior to their post-season loss, the Simpson. Cline finished tied for a team high in Duhawks finished out the regular points with 17. season on a roll. The Loras men hit the triple digits for the second time in two games in an Iowa Conference match-up against the Simpson Storm last Wednesday in the AWC. The Duhawks saw the Storm earlier in the season and defeated them 86-65. From the start, the Duhawks took control of the game, leading 25-9 after only ten minutes. The Duhawks continued to increase their lead throughout the first half, and the score stood 56-36 at half. During the second half, the Duhawks were able to utilize their depth, as every player stepped on the court to contribute for the win. With a layup from sophomore Jake May with two minutes left in the game, the Duhawks reached 100 points for the second time in two games. With a 30 point lead, the Duhawks would walk off the court defeating photo by KAT EDWARDS the Storm 100-70. Cline and SchuelSenior center Ryan Coon shoots a lay-up over his ler had a team high of 17 points for defender during the Duhawks’ 100-70 ousting of the game. Juniors Smith and Bobby Simpson. Harmening also reached double dig-

its with 15 points each. On Saturday, the Duhawks traveled to Cedar Rapids for their last regular season game against Coe College, a team they defeated 94-65 earlier in the season. The Duhawks increased their winning streak to four by defeating Coe by the score of 82-75. With the win, the Duhawks clinched the No. 3 seed in the Iowa Conference tournament, marking the Duhawks’ first appearance in the conference tournament since the 09-10 season. The loss against Luther marks the last time that three Duhawk seniors will step on the court. Senior Josh Bruns appeared in 22 games for the Duhawks, averaging 1.8 points per game and 2.0 rebounds per game. Senior Ryan Coon appeared and started in 24 games, averaging 8.7 points. Coon also led the Duhawks in blocks and in rebounds with 6.4 per game. Cline, the Duhawks final senior, finished the season ranked third in the conference in 3 point percentage. He appeared and started in 26 games for the Duhawks, averaging 11.6 points and 5.8 rebounds per game. The Duhawks were led in points by Schueller with 12.9 per game, in steals by junior Bobby Harmening and in assists by Nathaniel Smith. Smith also ranked second in assist-to-turnover ratio in the conference. Additionally, Luke Barry finished second in the conference in free-throw percentage. The Duhawks finished the season ranked first in both free-throw and 3 point percentage. They finished second in scoring margin and third in both field goal percentage and scoring defense.


he Olympics came to a close in Sochi earlier this week, and to that I say – good riddance. Since childhood, we’ve been taught to hold a certain reverence for the Olympic Games. We’ve Ryan Graham had their “importance” sports editor drilled into our heads from the start. We’ve been taught to look up to gold medal winners as role models and patriots. Well, I’m calling BS. The Olympics are absolutely pointless— and I’ll tell you why. First of all, let’s look at the financial cost. According to an article from the Huffington Post, raising an Olympian is not cheap. Earlier this year, U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte’s parents lost their home to foreclosure. The mother of gymnast Gabby Douglas was forced to file for bankruptcy in 2012. Former U.S. speed skater Eric Flaim ventured to guess that his decade-plus of Olympic training cost him and his family at least $250,000. And what do these athletes get in return? If you’re not a superstar like Michael Phelps who makes millions off of endorsement deals, then not much. According to, about 80% of Olympic athletes make less than $50,000 each year, if they get paid at all. But the games make a lot of money for the hosting city, right? Wrong. From the 2012 Olympics in London, which cost taxpayers $25 million, to the $1.5 billion debt caused by the 1976 games in Montreal; it seems that history tells us differently. This year’s Olympics cost an estimated $51 billion, the highest of any Olympic games to date. The jury is still out on whether or not a profit was made in Sochi, but they certainly had their work cut out for them. OK, so the games are basically a quadrennial money hemorrhage. At the very least, they must be entertaining, right? I’ll answer this question in two ways: first objectively, then subjectively. For an objective look at the games, according to, this year’s Olympics finished down 9% from the 2010 games in Vancouver. This decrease in interest may be due, in part, to tape delays. People aren’t going to watch an event when they already know who won via the Internet. But the bottom line is, aside from the popular events like hockey and snowboarding, the Olympics aren’t pulling a sizable enough audience to justify their existence. Personally, I find the Olympics unbearable. First of all, their definition of an “event” is shaky at best. You have three different events that are basically the same exact thing in bobsled, luge and skeleton (Yes, there’s an event called skeleton. It’s literally luge except you lay head-first on your stomach.) You have countless skiing events that all have virtually the same object: don’t fall down. You have everyone’s favorite event, curling, which is basically glorified shuffleboard on ice. You have figure skating, which is just stupid. And finally, you have the biathlon, which combines cross-country skiing and shooting targets. Because, you know, skiing and shooting guns go together like Vladimir Putin and his nipples. The last argument that people use to justify the Olympics is that the games bring the world together. While that sounds all rosy and sweet, if anything, this year’s Olympics showed us how far apart the world actually is. Russia made an ass of itself to the entire world by publicly denying the existence of gays in Sochi and for the institution of anti-homosexual propaganda laws. We’re just lucky that no one got blown up by a suicide bomber. Take a step back for a second. See these games for what they really are: a giant two-week long competition nobody wants to watch that leaves its athletes poor, its hosting city even poorer and all the while, serves as a pretty ideal target for terrorism. Now ask yourself, is it all really worth it?

Binder for feb 27  

Feb. 27, 2014, edition of The Lorian, the student-run newspaper at Loras College in Dubuque, Iowa

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