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According to The Washington Post, less than five percent of all Americans never believed in Santa Claus.

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Page 7 n December 18, 2012 thekirkwoodcall.com

Jane Manwarring copy editor I think of my earliest Christmases as some of the best memories of my life. Nothing can replace leaving milk and cookies out for Santa Claus, waiting up all night with the hopes of hearing the pitter-patter of reindeer hooves on my roof and waking up to stacks of surprises. Since then, things have changed. As a junior soon to celebrate my 17th Christmas, the holiday feels a little less magical. I’ve come to expect Santa’s stocking stuffers and messy plate of cookie crumbles he always leaves behind. Even my cats seem to anticipate Santa’s arrival: they perch neatly on the living room couch each Christmas morning waiting for someone with opposable thumbs to unwrap the catnip from their stocking. As a teenager, I know it’s easy to get caught up in school, a social life and sports. I’ll admit I don’t think

about Santa much before Thanksgiving rolls around, and having him visit my house annually makes him seem a little less special, but I’ve decided it’s important that I don’t become apathetic to the Christmas spirit. There have been rumors going around KHS that some students no longer believe in Santa, and I’ve made it my mission to disprove them and spread the Christmas cheer. Other students lacking the proper Christmas spirit should try to boost their belief by realizing we don’t necessarily need proof to believe in something. Francis Pharcellus Church, writer for The New York Sun, wrote a famous column entitled “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” in 1897 in response to a young girl with doubts about Santa. In his response, Church wrote about how important it is to believe without seeing. “Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus,” Church said. “The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see.” It isn’t always easy to have faith

The ultimate challenge: 12/21/12 Katlyn Kreie photographer As I glance at the Mayan calendar hanging on my wall, it becomes increasingly apparent that the end of life as we know is coming soon. That’s right, I’m talking about Dec. 21, 2012, just days away. Most people become depressed thinking about the impending apocalypse, but not me. I view doomsday as the ultimate challenge. I wait in anticipation for the approaching day so I can put all of my hard work and planning to the test. If you want to live to see 2013, I suggest you keep reading. I know there is a lot of debate about whether the world will end or not. The answer is yes, it will. Just look at the world around you. Global warming, natural disasters, Hostess going out of business. It’s not quite certain what type of apocalypse we will experience, but I have a few ideas. First, a flood.

With stories of world-wide floods mentioned in almost all religious texts, it is possible we might all have to revert back into our web-footed ancestors. My second idea is an earthquake, but not just any earthquake. I’m talking about one so large the world will split in half. Another idea is a planetary object colliding with Earth. It happened to the dinosaurs, why couldn’t happen again? Whatever the disaster maybe, it is crucial we prepare now. My first advice is to completely stop doing homework. It wastes time. You won’t need to know the 32nd president when you are fighting for your life. Also, when you are preparing for the apocalypse, price is not an issue. After the world’s destruction, there will be no one to collect your debts, so spend your entire savings. Only the best quality supplies will insure your survival. You have to start collecting supplies now. Of course you will need food to survive. Canned food is best for apocalyptic situations. Purchase canned vegetables, canned meat and cans of

The “magical” French mountain, Mount Rhaj, supposedly offers protection from the 2012 apocalypse.

paint. If it comes in a can, buy it. I know the Mayans lived a long time ago and their prediction may be a little off. That’s why you should probably start wearing several flotation devices right now to prepare for the floods. The bright orange life vest may seem tacky, but trust me, when the water comes rushing in you’ll be floating down Kirkwood Road like it’s a lazy river. Dec. 21, 2012 is coming. Hopefully these last-minute tips will help you survive. I’d like to wish you all luck. It’s been a nice lifetime in our advanced civilization, and it’s a shame it couldn’t last. I hope to see some of you in 2013. There’s one last thing I’d like to say to nature: bring it on.

in something that isn’t visible, but Church explained to Virginia that if things visible to us were the only parts of life that existed, life would essentially lose joy. “There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence,” Church said. “We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.” If students are willing to make this Christmas reminiscent of their childhood like I am, it’s really quite simple. Just believe.

*The Kirkwood Call is not responsible for any of the consequences that come from following advice in this article.

Suzanne Pocost artist Erin Kilfoy artist

Kevin Campbell photographer


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